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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004
[opening theme music playing]
2
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Don't try to adjust your set, America.
It's the sweater.
3
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,732
See, my baby parents,
they're coming to visit.
4
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,234
Her mama made this little
weak sweater for me,
5
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,361
and it makes her happy
just to see me in it,
6
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,571
so here I am.
7
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Now, see, my baby Wanda,
she adores her parents.
8
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She dotes on 'em.
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00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,078
Me, well, in the past, I always made sure
10
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I was on the road when they came to visit.
11
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,207
Because they was always picking on me,
12
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making little comments, judging me,
saying I wasn't no good for her.
13
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,254
You know how in-laws do.
14
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,381
But see, now I can't leave.
15
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,050
Someone's got to be here
with those doggone kids.
16
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:52,677
My kids.
17
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,679
Wanda's kids.
18
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,056
Damn kids.
19
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,016
Making me spend a whole week in hell.
20
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,225
[doorbell rings]
21
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-[Wanda] Bernie, they're here.
-I'm coming, baby.
22
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The sweater not just ugly.
23
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,358
It's itchy, too.
24
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,152
Well, you want to know what it's made of?
25
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,071
I say it's made of mosquitoes.
26
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Excuse me, America. This is some bull.
27
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:18,787
Oh, there he is! You come over here and
give your mother-in-law some sugar.
28
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-Yes, ma'am.
-Oh.
29
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[laughing]
30
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Hey, Ma.
31
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,083
Hey, baby.
32
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Hey, uh, Da…
I mean, Lloyd. Good to see you.
33
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Good to see you, too, Bernie.
34
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,923
I see you still haven't
found a barber yet, though.
35
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,050
[laughing]
36
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,011
Oh, Mom, Dad, uh, you all met the kids?
37
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Oh, adorable.
38
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-What did you bring us?
-[Bernie] Jordan!
39
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,975
No, no. That's perfectly all right.
That's perfectly all right.
40
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As a matter of fact,
we did bring you something.
41
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Disclosing tablets.
42
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Got 'em for all you kids.
43
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They show you
where you miss when you brush.
44
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[Jordan grunts]
45
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Oh, Daddy.
46
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Thanks. Well, it was nice meeting you.
47
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Uh, don't think I forgot about you two.
48
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Ooh!
49
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,457
[laughs]
50
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,042
Oh!
51
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,335
Look, Bernie.
52
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,462
[laughs] What a, uh…
53
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,381
Ooh, a lovely afghan.
54
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Another one?
55
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Wow. Oh, Mama, it's beautiful.
56
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,593
You shouldn't have.
57
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,887
Oh, I know, but I remembered
58
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,014
how much Bernie loved his sweater,
59
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,724
so I made him this to match.
60
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,476
Oh, thank you, Ma. Thank you.
61
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,937
-Hey, I don't wear mine.
-Why… why is that, Dad?
62
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Thing itches.
63
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:30,650
You know, I thought these
two tones would look good in your house.
64
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,986
-You mind helping me with this luggage?
-No, no.
65
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,364
That is, unless you think you're
gonna scuff up your nails. [laughs]
66
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,199
[cackles]
67
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Thank you, Mommy.
68
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,997
See what I mean, America?
69
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,166
They've only been here
less than five minutes,
70
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,834
and already, they're starting.
71
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,169
Even when they're trying
to be nice, they're annoying.
72
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Look at this.
73
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What the… is this?
74
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,508
[Bernie] Nessa?
75
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,011
I don't care if Todd's going to be there.
76
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,722
No. I'm just going to study.
77
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[Bernie] Nessa!
78
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,600
Come on, baby. We're waiting on you.
79
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The food's getting cold.
80
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,060
Coming.
81
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,063
No. I do not like him.
82
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,648
Donna, I don't.
83
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,942
-No, I don't like him.
-Let me say something.
84
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,861
Hey, Donna, she don't like the boy, okay?
85
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Do me a favor, hang up.
86
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,447
Come on, baby.
87
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,908
If I got to put up with them,
you got to put up with them.
88
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,159
Come on. Come on, come on.
89
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,161
All right, I'm back.
90
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,079
Ma, can I help you
find something over there?
91
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,289
Oh, no, no, baby.
92
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,166
I'm just putting things
where they should be.
93
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,543
Mom, why don't you
leave that alone, come over here
94
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,047
-and have some chicken with us, okay?
-No, no. Thank you. I'm fine.
95
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,965
Made the right choice, Mother.
96
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,176
Chicken's a little undercooked.
97
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:39,802
Um, I…
98
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,096
L… Lloyd, ain't nothing wrong
with that chicken.
99
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,349
If you want me to put it back
on the grill, I will,
100
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,017
but nothing wrong with that chicken.
101
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,145
-You're a flipper, aren't you, Bernie?
-I've been known.
102
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,855
Well, you flipped the bird too much.
103
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,066
Can't get cooked
through and through that way.
104
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,741
Flipped the bird?
I'd like to flip him the bird.
105
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,159
Come in my house…
106
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,245
All right.
107
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:09,707
All right. America,
Bernie Mac need a break. That's all.
108
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,502
So, let me put all those people
to bed and relax, breathe.
109
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,753
We all go through it.
110
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,380
This world's about sacrifice.
111
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[chuckles]
112
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And this is for two people?
113
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[laughs]
114
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You really are King of Comedy, aren't you?
115
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Daddy.
116
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,017
Sweetie, we do not want to be any trouble.
117
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-We can stay at the Wiltmore.
-Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
118
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Uh, no. You know what?
I have a better idea.
119
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[muttering]
120
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Don't you do it. Wanda, don't do it!
121
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I know she going to do it,
America. She done did it!
122
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,865
Why you have to give up my doggone bed?
123
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What was I supposed to do?
I want 'em to be comfortable.
124
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:46,953
You didn't have to do that.
125
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:48,830
Old folks smell.
126
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,873
All up in my bed, like I can get it out.
127
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,001
Oh! Well, what you want to do now?
128
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,752
-You make allowances--
-What you wanna do?
129
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,546
You make allowances yourself. Come on.
130
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,131
[Wanda] You know what? I'll make it…
131
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,758
-[Bernie] Know what happened last time…
-You know what happened…
132
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,094
-[Wanda] I don't remember.
-Yeah, think about it.
133
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:04,929
-Yeah.
-[Wanda] Yeah?
134
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,268
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
135
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,062
Wait. Where my doggone fish sticks at?
136
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Woke up dreaming about 'em.
137
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My mouth all set, and watering for it.
138
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,568
What type of…
139
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:19,902
hypocrites?
140
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,905
Oh.
141
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,910
So, Lloyd, I see
you found my fish sticks, huh?
142
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Mmm. Lightly breaded, not too fishy.
143
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,623
All in all, quite scrumptious.
144
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,833
[clears throat]
145
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,126
Oh, so, Dad, Lloyd,
146
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,961
you plan on being here long or what?
147
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,547
Yeah, well, your mattress
is a little soft for my taste.
148
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,257
-Yes.
-So, I think I'm going to try
149
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,092
and make a dent in my book here.
150
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,636
[sighs]
151
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,305
Uh, you mind?
152
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:50,892
Thank you.
153
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,694
America, I might be able to stomach
154
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,405
giving up my doggone bed,
but not my chair, never.
155
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,824
They tryin' to take over
my whole doggone house,
156
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,326
and the Mac ain't having it.
157
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,871
First thing in the morning,
they're out of here!
158
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,418
[whispers] They're out of here.
159
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,669
This is about it.
160
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,546
-Wanda…
-Honey?
161
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,839
Yeah. Hold on, hold on, babe.
162
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,841
I need a vacation
from your parents' vacation.
163
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,802
One of us got to leave, and I live here.
164
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,637
Baby, before you do anything,
165
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something wonderful has happened.
166
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,890
What, they left?
167
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:35,144
[laughing]
168
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,604
Uncle Bernie,
169
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,816
Grandma made sunny-side up
with bacon smiley faces.
170
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,400
-Grandma?
-Yeah!
171
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,236
Grandpa's going to teach me how to fish.
172
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,695
Grandma, Grandpa.
173
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,572
Grandpa. Isn't that great?
174
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That's nice.
175
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:48,866
Real nice.
176
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,451
Come join us for breakfast, son.
177
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,579
Hey, don't you look pretty this morning!
178
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,248
Oh, thank you.
179
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,457
She sure does.
180
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,667
Hey, baby.
181
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,876
Yes, honey.
182
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,962
-Drop it like it's hot.
-Ooh, really?
183
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,213
-Uh-uh!
-Oh, what?
184
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,172
No, she didn't.
185
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,091
[laughter]
186
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,467
Oh, my!
187
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:09,512
America, my baby Wanda was right.
188
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,848
Something wonderful has happened.
189
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,016
See, those grand pains in the ass
190
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,476
have become grandparents…
191
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,396
something those kids never ever had.
192
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,398
Look how happy they are.
193
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,275
And for that, America,
194
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,444
I could put up with almost anything.
195
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,531
They turned my frown into a smile.
196
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,328
-[Bryana] Grandma?
-[Grandma] I'm in here, precious!
197
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:39,250
Oh, the sweet sound
of grandparents, America.
198
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,252
I'm happy for those kids.
199
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,545
When they grow older,
200
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,505
they have fond memories
of their grandparents,
201
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,174
just like I did about Big Mama.
202
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,177
Just imagine fresh-squeezed lemonade.
203
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,304
A quarter for being good.
204
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:54,098
Peach cobbler cooling on the windowsill.
205
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,226
[high-pitched]
"Oh, it's not ready yet, baby."
206
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,896
"Get away from that cobbler
before I knock you out."
207
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,274
[in normal voice]
Oh, America, I remember it like yesterday.
208
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,903
I just hope they'll shower those kids
with lots of love.
209
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,780
And maybe they get off my doggone back.
210
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,074
Hey, good morning, sweetie pie.
211
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,494
Why don't you sit down
and let me make you some breakfast?
212
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,829
Uh, no, thanks.
My ride will be here any minute.
213
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:17,914
You sure?
214
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,749
Grandma make a mean waffle.
215
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,000
She's not my grandmother.
216
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,168
Hey, hey, hey.
217
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,961
-[horns honking]
-Be nice.
218
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,254
I got to go.
219
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:33,554
Ignorant.
220
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,306
It's all right.
221
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,350
You know, America…
222
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,353
see, it take Nessa a while to warm up,
223
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,313
if you know what I mean. Y'all know her.
224
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:43,648
Who can blame her?
225
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,816
See, her mama had a lot
of people coming around
226
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,569
calling themselves cousins,
aunts, and uncles.
227
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,114
A lot of uncles… if you know what I mean.
228
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,909
[school bell rings]
229
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,661
We'll walk her in.
230
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:58,996
Mama, you don't have to walk her in.
School's right here.
231
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,290
-We can just go home.
-Oh, relax, Hollywood.
232
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,334
What else have you got to do, huh?
233
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,711
Sit around and make
that big old afro round?
234
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,216
[laughs]
235
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,265
Talkin' about? It ain't that doggone big.
236
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,068
-[school bell rings]
-Ready for the history test on Friday?
237
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,528
No way.
238
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,738
Um, I could come over and help you study.
239
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,866
Well, we have people visiting.
Oh, and besides,
240
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,202
any time a guy comes anywhere near me,
241
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,329
my Uncle Bernie gives this look like…
242
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,251
Let me see.
243
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,508
Call me if you need help.
244
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,513
What if I need help?
245
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,016
[laughs]
246
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,146
[sighs]
247
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,898
Thank you so much for coming.
248
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,442
You know, it is such a treat
249
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,652
to finally meet someone
from Bryana's family.
250
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,779
What? Doesn't he ever visit?
251
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,197
I love to volunteer my time,
252
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,242
but with my busy schedule,
I just don't have time.
253
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:22,038
You know, we're still looking for
parents for the spring carnival.
254
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,914
Spring won't be a good time for me.
255
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,166
Sign him up.
256
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:26,876
Figures.
257
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,086
-[knocking]
-[Wanda] Come in.
258
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,130
-Hi, babies.
-Oh, hey, Mom.
259
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,132
Hey. Here's the kids' laundry.
260
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,134
-Oh, thank you, Mom.
-Uh-huh.
261
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,472
[laughs] I, um, did this yesterday.
262
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,265
You did?
263
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,851
-Well, it looked kind of dingy.
-[groans]
264
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,145
Little secret.
265
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:49,565
Just a quarter cup of bleach
and just a pinch of baking soda.
266
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,276
Just thought I'd show you
how it could look.
267
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:55,029
-Thank you.
-Oh, you're so welcome!
268
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,698
"How it could look."
269
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,283
-Huh?
-"How it could look."
270
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,910
Did she just say, "how it could look"?
271
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,496
-What, you ain't listening?
-Okay, you know what?
272
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,414
She just wants me to… [takes deep breath]
273
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,333
Oh, come on. Do what? Come on. It's me.
274
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,126
Ooh, I want to pop!
275
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,628
-Pop go the weasel.
-Oh!
276
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,631
Yesterday she showed me
how to grease Bryana's scalp.
277
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,049
Said that it was too dry.
278
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,801
Nothing wrong with baby girl's scalp.
279
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,678
I know there ain't nothing wrong.
I grease it all the time.
280
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,389
You know what? I was trying to be nice.
281
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,933
What about your food?
She said your food's too salty.
282
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,103
-It's giving all the kids hypertension.
-I know. She's crazy.
283
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,979
Salt don't give kids hypertension.
284
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,399
Overbearing mothers
give kids hypertension.
285
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,150
-[screams]
-[knocking]
286
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,736
[Lloyd] Can you keep it down in there?
287
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:37,696
Thank you.
288
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,698
I told you. You want me
to call the big fellow?
289
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,077
-We'll smother him in his sleep.
-No. It's my daddy.
290
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:43,994
You don't know that.
291
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,622
America, you know the problem
with grandparents?
292
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:47,873
They're cocky.
293
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,667
Think they know everything.
294
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,918
They should concentrate
295
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,129
on buying presents and pinching cheeks
296
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:56,006
instead of telling me
how to raise my kids.
297
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,718
See, I thought in-laws was bad,
but grandparents are worse.
298
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,096
They makes my ass itch.
299
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,643
[chuckling]
300
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:08,853
Good morning.
301
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,020
Good morning.
302
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,148
Anything interesting in the world?
303
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,067
Oh, a bunch of stuff interesting
in the world, Dad.
304
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:19,196
It say right here that dentists got the
highest suicidal rate out of all doctors.
305
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,365
Yeah, and the highest homicide rate, too.
306
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,286
See, see, you can't
let your guard down, King of Comedy.
307
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,537
No, you can't, you can't.
308
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,457
Oh, look, honey.
They're having a modern art exhibit
309
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,750
-at the gallery downtown.
-[mumbling] No.
310
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,837
Oh, why don't you both go?
We'll watch the kids.
311
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,964
[both chuckling]
312
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:38,799
-Okay.
-Okay. [chuckling]
313
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,843
Somebody make a joke?
314
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,637
No, Mom, Dad, we… we really
315
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,514
appreciate it,
but I got so much I got to do.
316
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,725
I got to get baby girl,
she got ballet at 2:00.
317
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,436
-Then I got to take Jordan, he got--
-Buh, buh, buh.
318
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:53,230
I think we can handle a couple of kids.
319
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,941
We do have 30 years in the business.
320
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,862
[Bernie and Wanda chattering]
321
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,123
Okay.
322
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,958
You forgot my tutu.
323
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,169
Oh. Okay, hold on.
324
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,253
[muttering]
325
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:19,298
[footsteps running]
326
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,595
[humming]
327
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,222
Okay, got the tutu, honey.
328
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,181
There you go.
329
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:28,974
Good?
330
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:30,768
Wait…
331
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,355
Hey, can I give you a ride somewhere?
332
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,441
Uh… no, thanks.
My friends are coming to pick me up.
333
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:41,237
Oh… I was hoping we'd get to
spend some girl time together.
334
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,405
-Maybe later.
-Okay.
335
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:44,782
Have fun.
336
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,123
All right? Good.
337
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,671
-[knocking]
-Grandma, I have to go tee-tee.
338
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,006
[Wanda chuckling]
339
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:08,847
Jordan!
340
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:12,476
Jordan, lunch is ready.
341
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,648
Jordan!
342
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,448
Oh… it's the last piece.
343
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,410
I'm having such a good time,
I don't want to go home yet.
344
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:32,037
Who said we do? Let's get a bite to eat.
345
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,372
Shouldn't we call?
346
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,832
It's still early.
347
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,001
Hey, your parents and them
got it under control.
348
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,252
They 30 years in the game.
349
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,712
-That's funny.
-You like that?
350
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,133
You have to take off your tutu.
351
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,301
No!
352
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,428
You're going to give me a heart attack.
353
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,513
Mother, now, I'm getting a little worried.
354
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:50,472
[panting]
355
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,932
I still can't find that boy.
356
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,226
-Good, huh?
-Mmm.
357
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,731
Mm-mm.
358
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,193
Jordan!
359
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,071
Jordan, where are you, boy?
360
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,116
Ow!
361
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,535
Oh, gee… Mother, I found him.
362
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,828
He's in the tree.
363
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,496
Boy, how did you get up there?
364
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,165
With my super powers.
365
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,959
-Your super powers? Get down here!
-No!
366
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,544
Boy, don't make me get the hose.
367
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,212
[growls] Okay.
368
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:23,881
[whimpering]
369
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:24,965
Come on.
370
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,259
Come… Jordan, get down here.
371
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,595
[screaming]
372
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,431
Okay, okay, come on, son.
Just… just calm down.
373
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,728
[sighing]
374
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,983
Honey, do you think we should call?
375
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,237
Oh, Wanda, baby, stop it, will you?
376
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,699
And just relax and enjoy
your massage, okay?
377
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,539
You want me to call?
378
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,961
Thank you, ma'am.
379
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,509
[moans] Whoa.
380
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,221
He… I think I got the machine, baby.
381
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,430
Leave a message, honey.
382
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,766
-Lloyd?
-What? What?
383
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,726
Lloyd, I hear Bernie's
voice on the machine.
384
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,520
Well, then tell him… What, his voice?
385
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:20,771
Just hold on, son, hold on.
386
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:23,023
-Hold… just be…
-Get me down!
387
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150
[Bernie] We're just calling to check in.
388
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,235
Hello!
389
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,028
Trying to make sure everything okay.
390
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,573
Uh, if you like, you can call us back
on our phone, okay?
391
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,534
-All right, bye-bye.
-No, no, wait, wait, wait.
392
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:34,952
Come back, come back.
393
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,578
The boy is up a tree.
394
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,331
Mother… Mother, how do you get him back?
395
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,084
[Chuy] Hey, man, it's Chuy.
396
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,420
Let me know when those
annoying grandparents are gone
397
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,796
so we can play some poker.
398
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:48,966
-Annoy…
-[beep]
399
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,718
["Rescue Me" playing]
400
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:51,969
♪ Rescue me ♪
401
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,304
♪ Oh take me in your arms ♪
402
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,723
♪ Rescue me ♪
403
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,684
♪ I want your tender charms ♪
404
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,977
[Jordan shrieks]
405
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,104
♪ And I'm blue ♪
406
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,522
[Jordan] I'm okay!
407
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,024
[light applause]
408
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,775
♪ Come on and rescue me ♪
409
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,402
♪ Come on, baby ♪
410
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:09,361
What's going on?
411
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,656
Oh, my brother's up a tree again.
412
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,533
[distant whistling]
413
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,577
Can I come in?
414
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,122
Sure.
415
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,458
-[music playing]
-Oh, I love this song.
416
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,959
Can you download it?
417
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,669
Sure. Let me show you how.
418
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,172
First…
419
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,631
click there.
420
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,844
And then… click there.
421
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,644
[door opening]
422
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,273
Um…
423
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,067
I better go.
424
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,740
[Bernie] …all day.
425
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,158
[giggling]
426
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,951
I ain't gonna be quiet in my own house.
427
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,328
-Shh…
-Shoot…
428
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,580
Shush me baby, shoot.
429
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,082
-[gasps]
-What?
430
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,585
Oh, Mom, Dad, uh…
We didn't know you were up.
431
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,796
Do you two realize what time it is?
432
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:13,383
Oh, my God, um…
we're, uh, sorry. [laughing]
433
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,512
-Have you two been drinking?
-Just a little bit.
434
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,931
[laughing]
435
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,974
-We've been trying to call, but…
-Yes, we have.
436
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,684
…but ain't nobody answer the phone.
437
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,686
We don't know how to work that computer.
438
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:25,938
[laughing]
439
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,857
It's an answering machine, Dad.
440
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,111
And we also figured that, you know,
441
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,363
there would be no problem in babysitting.
442
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:38,992
[clears throat] Seeing that you have
30 years of experience with your own kids.
443
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,452
What are you talking about?
444
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,997
Well, Mom, you've been treating us
like we don't know what we're doing.
445
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:47,000
No, no, we're just trying to pass on
446
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,753
some helpful hints
that we learned along the way.
447
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,923
No, you came in here like
you were better than us.
448
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,592
Like you invented kids.
449
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,219
Like y'all got a manual.
450
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,804
If that's how you feel…
451
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,682
maybe we should leave.
452
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,562
Um, can I talk to you?
453
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,939
Sure, come on in, precious. Sit.
454
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,777
Am I in big trouble?
455
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,821
Oh. I didn't tell them.
456
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,447
-You didn't?
-Uh-huh.
457
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,993
Vanessa, I had plenty of boyfriends
when I was your age.
458
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,580
Oh, what? You think I was
born married to that old man?
459
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:26,999
Oh! Honey…
460
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,794
I remember what it's like
to be a young girl.
461
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,299
But I also remember
what it's like to be a good girl now.
462
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,634
And a good girl minds her knickers,
463
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,886
you know what I'm saying?
464
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,805
[both chuckling]
465
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,393
Mmm.
466
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:48,729
So…
467
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,480
do you want to hang out for a while?
468
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,733
Oh, well, maybe next time, precious.
469
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,402
-Your grandfather and I are leaving.
-Leaving?
470
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,779
But we were just getting
to know each other, Grandma.
471
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,115
Baby, come on. I know, I know.
472
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,163
Why is Grandma leaving?
473
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,623
It's complicated, Nessa.
474
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,750
But they've only been here three days.
475
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,211
Baby, it's grown folks' business.
You wouldn't understand.
476
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,880
-Don't worry about it, okay?
-I understand.
477
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,090
Everybody's always leaving.
478
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,550
Oh, Nessa…
479
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,719
What am I doing, America?
480
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,888
Did y'all hear that girl?
481
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:24,723
I tell you what she said.
482
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,308
She said, "Grandma."
483
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:28,143
And that's probably the first time
484
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,520
she's said "Grandma" in her life.
485
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,606
I can't let them walk out that door.
486
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,275
See, sometimes, it's hard to see clearly
487
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,486
when another man's
drinking out of your mug,
488
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:41,073
eating your fish filets,
calling you a bad parent.
489
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,909
Sally up on the dunking booth.
490
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,869
But that's family, America.
491
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,872
And you all got the same thing, too.
492
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,917
So, America, excuse me.
493
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,419
I've got to go smooth things over.
494
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,881
♪ Gonna keep the family groove ♪
495
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,342
I ain't got nothing.
496
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,220
-[Lloyd] Bring it on, bring it on.
-Oh-oh! Oh! Oh-oh! Oh!
497
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,596
Play 'em. Play 'em.
498
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,266
-Oh… [groaning]
-Oh, yeah! Mother!
499
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,017
Drop it like it's hot.
500
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,560
Oh, baby.
501
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:14,398
Oh, that's nice. Real nice.
502
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:15,399
That was a…
503
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,400
She had it all!
504
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:17,734
I know it. You see it?
505
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,532
Even when they're trying
to be nice, they're annoying.
506
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,618
Look at this. What the… is this?
507
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,829
[scoffs] Boy, I'm telling you.
508
00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:30,622
Boy, they something else, man.
509
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,708
Suddenly I feel like I need a Bible.
510
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,754
The Lord work in mysterious ways.
511
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,591
All I need is a radio.
512
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,348
Make me want to spit.
36005
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