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[opening theme music playing]
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America, let me show you something.
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Look at that.
4
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America, that's Bernie Mac
in happier times.
5
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A sparkle in my eye, a song in my heart.
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Now, this is me now, one year later.
7
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A beaten man.
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No sparkle, no song.
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I think I even lost a shade.
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But you know why?
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It's them kids.
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They're relentless,
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pecking at me like a bunch of woodpeckers.
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[Jordan] Uncle Bernie?
15
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Woodpecker.
16
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I'm off duty!
17
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[Jordan] Uncle Bernie!
18
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America, I ain't never off duty.
19
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What is it, Woody?
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[imitates Woody] Guess who?
21
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♪ Cause I got work to do ♪
22
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♪ I got work, baby ♪
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♪ Got work to do ♪
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-♪ I've got to give ♪
-♪ Got work to do ♪
25
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-♪ I got work to do ♪
-♪ Got work to do ♪
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♪ So much work, yeah, yeah ♪
27
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♪ Work , work ♪
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♪ I'm taking care of business ♪
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♪ Woman, can't you see? ♪
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♪ I got to make it for you ♪
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♪ Got to make it for me ♪
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♪ But sometimes it might seem
That I've neglected you ♪
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♪ But I would love to spend more time ♪
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♪ I've got so many things to do ♪
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♪ I got work to do ♪
36
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-♪ I've got work, baby ♪
-♪ Got work to do ♪
37
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♪ I've got to give, yeah ♪
38
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-♪ I've got work to do ♪
-♪ Got work to do ♪
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♪ Got so much work, yeah, yeah ♪
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♪ Whoo! ♪
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-Hey, baby.
-Hey, baby.
42
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-Kids in bed?
-Mm-hmm.
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Good, because I've been waiting for this.
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Oh, yeah?
45
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I'm gon' rock your world, baby.
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[chuckles]
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[spritzing perfume]
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[sultry music playing]
49
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[snoring softly]
50
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[clicks tongue and sighs] Not again.
51
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[clicks tongue]
52
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Guess it's ladies' night.
53
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-[snoring]
-[bath water running]
54
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That's a damn shame.
55
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Hold on, now.
56
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Don't listen to him.
57
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America, Bernie Mac's
still packin' the heat.
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But y'all seen the day I had.
Come on, now.
59
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But ain't no need to worry.
It ain't no thing.
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I take care of my baby Wanda.
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I keep her plenty happy.
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Four weeks, baby.
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It's been four weeks.
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I… I… I know, baby, I know.
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H… Hold that thought.
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Yo, kids!
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Come on and get your breakfast
'fore I go 'side your head!
68
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See what I go through, sweetheart?
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And I'll be the first to admit,
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I know I ain't been hitting
for average lately.
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-Or power.
-Oh, baby, come on, that's cold.
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I mean, these kids 24/7.
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Only free time I got is peeing.
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I mean, I clean this house up
from top to bottom
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so they can come ruin it.
They wearing me out.
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00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,189
I mean, Bernie, I would love to help you,
but I'm at work all day.
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Yeah, I know.
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00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,401
Uh, maybe we should consider
hiring someone.
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I'm not getting no maid.
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00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,280
Ugh! But if you had some help,
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00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:03,743
it would free you up
to do some… other things.
82
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,788
Wanda, I wasn't raised to have no maid.
83
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I was raised by a maid.
84
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I'll leave you with that thought.
85
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Dirty.
86
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And before that,
I was a personal maid to Barbra Streisand,
87
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,434
and before that…
88
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I sense evil in this house.
89
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Next!
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I do windows, I do floors, I do closets.
91
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Is there anything that you won't do?
92
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Next!
93
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I know what you're thinking,
94
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but I'm as fit as a--
95
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[coughing]
96
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[hacking cough]
97
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[wheezing]
98
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[weakly] I could start right away.
99
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No.
100
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Broiler hasn't been cleaned in a month.
101
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You eat a lot of meat. [sniffing]
102
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London broil…
103
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[sniffing] Heavily seasoned.
104
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Wow.
105
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That's some nose you got on you, woman.
106
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You better not go in that boy room.
107
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Oh, Señor Bernie, I have three sons.
108
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Believe me, I have smelled it all.
109
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Anything you need me to do, I can do it.
110
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When can you start?
111
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[speaking Spanish]
112
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This is stupid.
113
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If you hired a maid,
why are we cleaning our rooms?
114
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Because I don't want the lady to know
115
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how disgusting you kids are.
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Why?
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Respect, that's why.
118
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That lady is somebody's mother.
119
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Now, I want this place spick-and-span.
120
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I want to make Lydia's job easy, you hear?
121
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Can I have some privacy, please?
122
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Oh, stankin'!
123
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Oh, my God.
124
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:11,037
Lydia, what's going on around here?
125
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Looks so clean, it feel like heaven.
126
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,541
Thank you. Thank you, Señor Bernie.
127
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,087
Um, Lydia, is there anything
I could do to help?
128
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You are so kind, Señor Bernie.
129
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,591
Uh, please…
130
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this is what I do.
131
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Now… you go do what you need to do.
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♪ At last ♪
133
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♪ My love has come along ♪
134
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-[contented groan]
-[chuckling]
135
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Ah, tomorrow she gets a raise.
136
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:48,783
-Okay.
-Okay.
137
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-[chuckling]
-Mmm.
138
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Mmm… smell that.
139
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:02,547
America, the whole house
smells like clean.
140
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,842
That woman is fantastic,
and that's not a plug.
141
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,719
See, I personally can't believe
I ever survived without Lydia
142
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,305
and it makes me feel good, too,
143
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because now I have
the opportunity to give her
144
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one big thing that Big Mama
never had on her job,
145
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and that's respect.
146
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See, keeping this house clean
is a big task
147
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and I'm going to make sure
she knows I appreciate it.
148
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,610
[Wanda] You hungry, Bernie?
149
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,988
[Bernie chuckles seductively]
150
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[chuckles] You think I ain't?
151
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,664
Listen, as soon as you're
all done with your plate
152
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,124
I want you to go and clean it up.
153
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,626
Just because we got a maid
don't mean you get to be slobs.
154
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,586
Okay?
155
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,092
Oh, my God.
156
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,261
Lydia, when you get a chance,
157
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:53,264
can you please clean out the refrigerator?
It smell funky in there.
158
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,392
Sí, Señor Bernie.
I do it after I clean the bathrooms.
159
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,560
Thank you, sweetheart.
160
00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,645
Is there something I could get you?
161
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,813
Would you like a sandwich?
162
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:01,981
No, ma'am.
163
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:02,982
Uh, I'll take one.
164
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,233
Me, me.
165
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:07,778
You shut your mouth.
166
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,030
She's not your slave.
167
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:10,448
And y'all clean your plate up.
168
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Get up.
169
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,577
Oh, no, por favor, mis hijos.
170
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,620
I will do that.
171
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,246
But Uncle Bernie--
172
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[both] Thank you, Lydia.
173
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,042
-Thank you.
-Por nada.
174
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,379
Why does Uncle Bernie get
to enjoy the maid and we don't?
175
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,923
Yeah, I want a slave.
176
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,341
Not a slave…
177
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:33,304
We do chores, why can't she
make our lives easier, too?
178
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,264
Hmm…
179
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,235
Oh, you need something from the fridge?
180
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,737
Uh, could you make us a snack?
181
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,822
Oh, I'm sorry, mis hijos,
182
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,574
I have to clean this for Señor Bernie.
183
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:58,162
Oh, Señor Bernie said
to tell you to make us a snack.
184
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,081
Oh, I see, Mr. Jordan.
185
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,666
What would you like?
186
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,834
-A ham and cheese.
-Okay.
187
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,337
With turkey,
and lightly toasted wheat bread,
188
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:10,841
mayo, uh, mustard, onions,
tomatoes, and a pickle?
189
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,510
Bryana?
190
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,887
I'll take coconut shrimp.
191
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,264
[sighs]
192
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,938
Oh, Lydia, thank God.
193
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,148
Look, I need you to iron something for me.
194
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,526
Miss, I must clean the kitchen
for Señor Bernie.
195
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,527
No, it's okay.
196
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,862
Uncle Bernie said
you could do my stuff first.
197
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:32,905
Come on.
198
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,410
Thanks, Lydia.
199
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,788
Oh…
200
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,291
Riper than a diaper.
201
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,876
I thought… Lydia! Lydia…
202
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,044
Sí, Señor Bernie?
203
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,005
Lydia, I thought
I asked you to clean this.
204
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,298
What's going on?
205
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,216
I am sorry, I was just
finishing the laundry.
206
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,968
Well, I guess that's okay.
207
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,636
Long as you get it right now.
208
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,179
Right away, Señor Bernie.
209
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,472
Yeah, thank you.
210
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,440
Be cool, Bernie.
211
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,025
Cut her some slack.
212
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,736
You know, just think about
how they treated Big Mama. Yup.
213
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,823
But I just don't get it, America.
214
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,617
What could she have been doing all day?
215
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,077
[Bryana whinnying]
216
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,038
Faster, faster!
217
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,789
[Lydia panting]
218
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,208
Oh, all right, Bryanita,
219
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,585
I have to put you down.
220
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,253
I have to get my work done.
221
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,756
Okay, we can play later.
222
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,591
[agreeing in Spanish]
223
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,718
[exhales]
224
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,393
Man, isn't this great?
225
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,228
Hey, why don't you get us some drinks?
226
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,647
Don't mind if I do.
227
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,857
-[bell ringing]
-[sighs]
228
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,320
Oi, that bell.
229
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,619
Oh, my God.
230
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,455
You got to be kidding me.
231
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,469
Lydia.
232
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:19,387
[gasps]
233
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,639
Listen, we have to talk.
234
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,140
Oh, Señor Bernie…
235
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,392
It's about your work.
236
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,227
-[bell ringing]
-Second bell.
237
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,436
Second what?
238
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,979
Mr. Jordan call.
239
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,482
He's not as nice as Señor Bernie.
240
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,650
Ly…
241
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:33,692
[bell ringing]
242
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,071
Yes, Mr. Jordan?
243
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,989
Um, Lydia, Uncle Bernie said
244
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,658
-you should get us some drinks.
-[sighs]
245
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,159
What would you like?
246
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,452
Ah, surprise us.
247
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,745
You got it.
248
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,628
You believe that?
249
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,713
Do you believe that, America?
250
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:58,092
Those kids are misappropriating
my doggone work force,
251
00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:01,387
forging my work orders,
and the worst part about it,
252
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:05,224
that sweet, lovable Lydia
almost lost her job, I tell ya.
253
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,725
Oh, I should have known.
254
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,018
I should have known.
255
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,896
Always trust a stranger over those kids.
256
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,232
Always trust a stranger.
257
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,817
A stranger, I tell ya.
258
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,110
Trust a stranger.
259
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:22,158
Oh, Lydia, I can't apologize enough.
260
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,159
I'm so sorry.
261
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,077
It's okay, Señor Bernie.
262
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,412
I have five kids of my own.
263
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,538
Well, you understand.
264
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:30,166
Actually, no.
My children would never behave this way.
265
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,792
If they did, I would have their heads.
266
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,794
Well, why would you let
them behave that way?
267
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:35,671
They're not my kids.
268
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,590
But what if they were your kids?
269
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,512
Ah…
270
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,890
Come on, come on, now.
271
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,558
Come on.
272
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,644
[speaking Spanish]
273
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:51,812
Uh-huh.
274
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,440
[speaking Spanish]
275
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,649
Yeah.
276
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,110
Hey, Bruno, Bruno Sammartino, yeah.
277
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,654
I don't know what she said, America,
278
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,781
but I think it needs to be done.
279
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,576
It's gonna be a ass-whipping fiesta.
280
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:15,169
America, I still can't get over
how nasty those kids were to Lydia,
281
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,087
but things are going to change.
282
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,216
I've given her full authority
to do as she pleases.
283
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:23,093
And if she want to string 'em up
like a piñata,
284
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,888
and beat the candy out of them, so be it.
285
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,848
I'm turning off the Nanny-cam.
286
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,559
Go ahead, Lydia, do what you got to do.
287
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,186
I ain't mad at you.
288
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:34,480
Bernie Mac is right behind you.
289
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,986
Chiclets. [chuckles]
290
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,490
[bell ringing]
291
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,408
Lydia, didn't you hear us ringing for you?
292
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,286
You mean your little bell?
293
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,871
Yes, I heard it.
294
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:57,753
Hey!
295
00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,755
I sent away for that.
296
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:01,590
That was a genuine Liberty Bell.
297
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,217
It had a crack in it and everything!
298
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,345
Aw… maybe I put a crack in your head.
299
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,807
You have to do what we tell you.
Uncle Bernie said so.
300
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,850
Oh, really?
301
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:12,977
Maybe we go and ask him.
302
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,479
[all] No, no, no. No.
303
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,856
[Vanessa] We don't have to ask him.
304
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,025
We live here. You work for us.
305
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,528
Yeah, and now I command you
to do my math homework!
306
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,114
You want to do the math?
307
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,659
Okay. I will count to the number three.
308
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,161
If you are still here, I kill you.
309
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,747
You can't threaten us.
310
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,167
Who is going to stop me?
311
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,169
And then she crushed Jordan's bell,
312
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,005
and then she threatened us.
313
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,590
Come on, Nessa, I don't believe that.
314
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,885
-Yeah, I know.
-Wow. Were you afraid?
315
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,137
How about baby girl, was she trembling?
316
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,472
Jordan, he wet on himself?
Tell me everything.
317
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,474
Wait, you're cool with this?
318
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,811
Cool with it?
I authorized it. I'm Bernie Machiavelli.
319
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,314
Don't nothing go down
in this house unless I know about it.
320
00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,899
You all been messing with my maid.
321
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,234
I'm gon' tell you something,
that's very disrespectful.
322
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,278
Now it's time
for you all to pay the piper.
323
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,404
Ugh!
324
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:06,989
"Ugh" nothing. That's right,
325
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,408
Nessa, there's a new sheriff in town.
326
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,784
Her name is Lydia.
327
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,162
Now you make sure you tell
baby girl and Jordan
328
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,331
she be coming, because she be coming!
329
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:22,630
[Jordan] Man, that's wrong.
He's turned her into a monster.
330
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,798
It's like having two Uncle Bernies.
331
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,967
Yeah, and that's two too many.
332
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,344
One of them's got to go.
333
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,511
Which one?
334
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,931
And Uncle Bernie's not going to fire her,
335
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,849
so we're going to have to make her quit.
336
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,684
It's up to you, Jordan.
337
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,937
You can drive anyone away.
338
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,607
Oh, you think so?
Aw, shucks. [chuckles]
339
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:45,110
[cackles evilly]
340
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,571
Stop it!
341
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,910
-Just warming up.
-Great.
342
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,411
[cackles evilly]
343
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:55,913
-Okay, stop.
-Okay.
344
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,958
[Spanish pop music playing]
345
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,211
Good luck, Jordan.
346
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,171
Luck has nothing to do with it.
347
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,243
-[scream]
-[yells]
348
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,079
[screeching] Oh! You monster!
349
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,789
You did that on purpose!
350
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:39,957
Ugh!
351
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,334
[sighing]
352
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,879
Hey, hey, Lydia! Where you going?
353
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,673
Señor Bernie, I'm sorry.
354
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:49,466
I cannot stay in this place.
355
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,094
Lydia, don't mind us,
we just acting a little crazy,
356
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,929
you know how this family is.
357
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,055
That's not it.
358
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,474
I raised my hand in anger.
359
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,851
I never did this before.
360
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,644
But it's not like you hit the boy.
361
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:03,147
You don't understand.
If I stay here one more day,
362
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,440
I will kill this boy!
363
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,947
Lydia! Don't deny yourself.
364
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,867
[car engine starts]
365
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,370
He's going to have fun giving it to us.
366
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,622
Maybe not.
367
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,834
America, I can't believe them kids
368
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,669
acting that way to my poor Lydia.
369
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:30,591
It's outrageous, despicable.
They're like evil concentrate,
370
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,134
and I'm going to tell you something.
371
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,552
I won't stand for it.
372
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,137
They're going to regret this one--
373
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,597
Uncle Bernie,
374
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,099
we really regret what we did.
375
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,642
What you say, girl?
376
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,728
We shouldn't have treated Lydia like that.
377
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:43,729
We were wrong.
378
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,189
You damn right it was wrong.
379
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:47,066
What you all did was just totally out of--
380
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,610
Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable.
381
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,904
We weren't trying to hurt the slave…
382
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,238
I mean, Lydia.
383
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,656
We were trying to hurt you.
384
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,866
Yeah, hurt you.
385
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,034
Me?
386
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:58,952
That's scandalous.
387
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,954
It still doesn't make it right. We know.
388
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,206
Yeah, you know.
389
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,583
-Well, do you also know--
-[Bryana] We were wrong?
390
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,126
Yeah, we know.
391
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,674
Well, I hope you kids don't think
this is going to get you out of--
392
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,843
Our punishment is no TV for a week.
393
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,386
And no ice cream.
394
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,807
And now we're going to our rooms
to think about what we did.
395
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,646
Go to their rooms?
396
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,232
And go Nessa,
"Yeah, and we're going to think
397
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,775
about what we're done."
398
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,736
I bet they not going to whup
their own asses.
399
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,696
All right, fine.
400
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,323
Let them punish themselves.
401
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,492
And I'm going to go to their rooms
402
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:41,620
and commend them for their good behavior.
403
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,083
[Bernie] Hey, Nessa?
404
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:48,210
Can you take a break
from feeling sorry for yourself
405
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,419
and come here, please?
406
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,671
Thank you!
407
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:54,675
Hi.
408
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,218
Come here, baby, sit down.
409
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:02,808
Well, first of all, I want
to say I'm truly impressed
410
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,310
with the way you all was able
to look deep down inside
411
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,062
and see the wrong of your ways.
412
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,732
You all seem genuinely remorseful.
413
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,025
That makes me proud.
414
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,112
Matter of fact, I like that feeling.
415
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,698
I want to feel even prouder.
416
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,659
Heh. I want to swell with proud.
417
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,584
Whoo.
418
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:31,879
Nessa, you call this a crease?
419
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,882
Come on, baby,
you can do better than that.
420
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,260
All right, listen up, everybody.
421
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:43,015
I want the nightgowns in cold water wash
and tumble dry low.
422
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,809
I want my pants hung and my jeans folded.
423
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,853
And that there looks like
it's about five loads,
424
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,688
so that should take you up to bedtime.
425
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:52,441
And if you don't make it,
I'll let you stay up late.
426
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,988
And don't come upstairs until you're done.
427
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,407
Oh, by the way…
428
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,952
it's not nice
when you treat people like this, is it?
429
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,914
[giggles] Whoo!
430
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,957
What did we do to deserve this?
431
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,084
I guess we were pretty mean to Lydia.
432
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,839
Whoa! Look what I found
in Uncle Bernie's pocket.
433
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,218
$100!
434
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,053
Maybe we should send that to her.
435
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,764
Yeah, send her $100.
436
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,516
Or let's send her $20.
437
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,228
[cackles evilly]
438
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,521
[clears throat]
439
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,607
[groans]
440
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,150
[giggles]
441
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:39,279
America, I think those kids
have learned their lesson.
442
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,573
They won't be mistreating people anymore.
443
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,533
And you don't have to worry about Lydia.
444
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,702
She got a better job. That's right.
445
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,121
She got hired by Kiefer Sutherland
up the street,
446
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,290
and he ain't got no bad-ass kids.
447
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,877
And speaking of bad-ass kids,
my drink need refreshing.
448
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,045
[bell rings]
449
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,842
Ah, thank you, Jordan,
for refreshing my drink. Thank you.
450
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,761
Will there be anything else, sir?
451
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:05,138
I don't think so, Jordan,
I don't think so.
452
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,307
-Very good, sir.
-Very good.
453
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:11,186
And very good, America. Very, very good.
454
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,525
My tea. Good boy.
455
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,322
Lydia ain't no Big Mama.
456
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:26,159
She been taking advantage
of my Bernie Mac good dog disposition.
457
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,536
I'm sorry, America,
458
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:30,956
there's about to be
a domestic disturbance up in this piece.
459
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,000
She got to go.
460
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:36,712
Hmph. "All Latinos ain't lazy."
You saw her.
461
00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:38,755
[imitates snoring]
462
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,216
Legs wide open.
463
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:45,304
Good thing I'm a Christian.
464
00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:50,475
You know… Move on.
31986
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