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1
00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:18,068
- I don't know what the
fuck happened, okay?
2
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:19,379
Things just got fucked up, alright
3
00:00:19,379 --> 00:00:22,878
and no one will fucking
call me, and I'm a big joke
4
00:00:22,878 --> 00:00:24,173
and the critics.
5
00:00:24,173 --> 00:00:26,411
- Pauly, you don't know
what you're talking about.
6
00:00:26,411 --> 00:00:28,457
You're great, the people love you.
7
00:00:28,457 --> 00:00:29,971
You have a following.
8
00:00:29,971 --> 00:00:32,166
"Bio-Dome" was a great movie.
9
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,068
- Did you see "Jury Duty?"
10
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,294
- No.
11
00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:37,349
- Neither did anyone else.
12
00:00:37,349 --> 00:00:39,619
- Did you see "Hot Shots?"
13
00:00:39,619 --> 00:00:41,875
- God, I love that movie.
14
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,735
- Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?
15
00:00:44,735 --> 00:00:48,902
My point is, Pauly, is that
we've all had our flops.
16
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,658
Some more than others.
17
00:00:52,658 --> 00:00:54,491
But it'll turn around.
18
00:00:56,110 --> 00:00:57,800
- Well how'd you do it?
19
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,312
- Talent.
20
00:00:59,312 --> 00:01:00,229
Good genes.
21
00:01:02,276 --> 00:01:05,074
I didn't come up with
some weird animal noise.
22
00:01:06,586 --> 00:01:07,694
- That's not the point, okay!
23
00:01:07,694 --> 00:01:10,444
It's--
24
00:01:11,479 --> 00:01:14,244
- Look, I gotta get back to the set.
25
00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:17,432
- Is there a part in there for me?
26
00:01:17,432 --> 00:01:20,441
Charlie, is there a part
in your movie for me?
27
00:01:20,441 --> 00:01:23,112
- Look, I'll talk to the director.
28
00:01:23,112 --> 00:01:24,972
I'll see what I can do.
29
00:01:24,972 --> 00:01:27,555
I'll tell him you're available.
30
00:01:34,524 --> 00:01:37,107
I'll tell him you're available.
31
00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:43,078
- Not for long.
32
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:09,523
- Oh, okay.
33
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,172
Pablo.
34
00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:14,414
Pablo?
35
00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:25,984
- Topping the news this evening,
36
00:02:25,984 --> 00:02:28,369
actor, comedian Pauly Shore was found dead
37
00:02:28,369 --> 00:02:31,143
in a loft in his mother's
west Hollywood Hills home.
38
00:02:31,143 --> 00:02:35,036
Pauly, best known as The Weasel,
started his career on MTV.
39
00:02:35,036 --> 00:02:38,047
Went on to start in such
movies as "Encino Man,"
40
00:02:38,047 --> 00:02:41,602
"Jury Duty," and "Son in Law."
41
00:02:41,602 --> 00:02:43,843
Autopsy reports will be
ready in just a few days.
42
00:02:43,843 --> 00:02:46,809
Many say he was a genius
who died before his time.
43
00:02:46,809 --> 00:02:48,111
- Genius?
44
00:02:48,111 --> 00:02:49,905
Genius of what?
45
00:02:49,905 --> 00:02:52,655
- We go to the streets now
to get the public's reaction.
46
00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:54,427
- You know, he tried
to sleep with me once,
47
00:02:54,427 --> 00:02:55,587
and tape it.
48
00:02:55,587 --> 00:02:57,114
- Me too.
49
00:02:57,114 --> 00:02:58,447
- Did you do it?
50
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,102
- Pauly Shore, dead at the age of 29.
51
00:03:03,102 --> 00:03:04,580
- The kid wasn't fucking wired right.
52
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:07,585
Any fucking jackass could've seen that.
53
00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:08,837
- The Hollywood
community is mourning
54
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:11,233
the death of beloved genius, Pauly Shore.
55
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,118
An erect penis!
56
00:03:13,118 --> 00:03:15,940
That's what would appear
to be underneath the sheet.
57
00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:18,243
A strange turn of events here--
58
00:03:18,243 --> 00:03:19,949
- I guess it's true
what they say when you die.
59
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,350
You're a lot more loved.
60
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:22,912
That's probably why I did it.
61
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,714
I was so sick of people
coming up to me every day
62
00:03:24,714 --> 00:03:27,508
and asking me what my next movie was.
63
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,320
How was I supposed to explain to my fans
64
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,872
that my shit was tired, and
that I pigeonholed myself
65
00:03:31,872 --> 00:03:33,019
as The Weasel.
66
00:03:33,019 --> 00:03:35,475
They don't understand how Hollywood works.
67
00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:38,063
Lenny Bruce, John Belushi, and Sam Kinison
68
00:03:38,063 --> 00:03:40,269
all went down as comedic geniuses who died
69
00:03:40,269 --> 00:03:41,871
before their time.
70
00:03:41,871 --> 00:03:43,960
And now me, Pauly Shore.
71
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,404
Look, before the media
blows it out of proportion,
72
00:03:46,404 --> 00:03:47,809
before Access Hollywood and Jerry Springer
73
00:03:47,809 --> 00:03:49,945
get a hold of it, let
me tell you the truth
74
00:03:49,945 --> 00:03:51,626
about how I got here.
75
00:04:03,671 --> 00:04:07,139
I was born and raised in
Hollywood, California.
76
00:04:07,139 --> 00:04:11,100
My dad's a comedian, and
my mom owns a comedy club.
77
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,462
And my mom didn't own
just any comedy club,
78
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:17,627
she owned the world famous
Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip.
79
00:04:17,627 --> 00:04:20,205
The Comedy Store was like the
Emerald City for comedians.
80
00:04:20,205 --> 00:04:21,767
Everyone started out there.
81
00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:23,110
Everyone.
82
00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:25,029
And I remember one time my
mom even had Sam Kinison
83
00:04:25,029 --> 00:04:26,688
babysit for me.
84
00:04:27,613 --> 00:04:28,737
yeah, thanks mom.
85
00:04:28,737 --> 00:04:31,315
I guess Charles Manson was
out of your price range.
86
00:04:31,315 --> 00:04:33,209
And the best part about my mom, though?
87
00:04:33,209 --> 00:04:34,853
She's been partying her whole life,
88
00:04:34,853 --> 00:04:36,456
which was great for me,
'cause I was the first
89
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:38,789
baby born with the munchies.
90
00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:49,611
Dude, you forgot to flush, man.
91
00:04:49,611 --> 00:04:50,444
Be cool.
- I did.
92
00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:51,925
I'm flushing now, man.
93
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,145
- Nah, my name's not The Weasel.
94
00:04:53,145 --> 00:04:56,964
My name's Paul Montgomery Shore, PMS.
95
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,608
I was just like most kids.
96
00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:00,778
I was in Little League, I had braces.
97
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,258
I even modeled.
98
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:03,974
I went to Beverly Hills High School,
99
00:05:03,974 --> 00:05:05,654
and I wasn't on the football team.
100
00:05:05,654 --> 00:05:07,904
I was in the Dance Company.
101
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,973
And after I graduated, I took
my acting very seriously.
102
00:05:11,973 --> 00:05:13,882
And then it finally happened.
103
00:05:13,882 --> 00:05:16,665
One night in the spring of '89.
104
00:05:16,665 --> 00:05:21,555
My manager got me an audition
for MTV at mom's club.
105
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:24,605
And finally, I became The Weasel.
106
00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:25,438
Ooh!
107
00:05:29,265 --> 00:05:32,348
Cool, buddy .
108
00:05:37,108 --> 00:05:39,788
My MTV show lead to movies, HBO specials,
109
00:05:39,788 --> 00:05:42,376
strippers, and porno stars.
110
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,325
Whoa!
111
00:05:43,325 --> 00:05:46,410
Yeah, I was living the American Dream.
112
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,593
And then one day, my so
called glamorous life
113
00:05:48,593 --> 00:05:50,539
came to a screeching halt.
114
00:05:53,413 --> 00:05:55,482
I got the most devastating news ever.
115
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:57,853
No, not genitals warts.
116
00:05:57,853 --> 00:05:58,978
Worse.
117
00:05:58,978 --> 00:06:00,811
I got a sitcom on Fox.
118
00:06:02,235 --> 00:06:06,152
After that, everything
else got kind of blurry.
119
00:06:14,429 --> 00:06:17,250
- Pauly, where'd
you get all that cash?
120
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:19,549
- I found some
loose change in the sofa.
121
00:06:19,549 --> 00:06:20,709
- That is one of the perks about
122
00:06:20,709 --> 00:06:21,776
being your best friend.
123
00:06:21,776 --> 00:06:23,820
All that trickle-down cashe.
124
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:26,068
- We have to hurry home,
'cause my dad's got a big
125
00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:27,910
surprise waiting for me.
126
00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,378
- Alright, alright.
127
00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:31,774
- Wow, check out those girls.
128
00:06:31,774 --> 00:06:33,691
They're scoping us out.
129
00:06:37,305 --> 00:06:38,651
- You must be Pauly.
130
00:06:38,651 --> 00:06:41,651
- You must be my dad's big surprise.
131
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:43,529
- What!?
132
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,213
- It's a good thing we're below sea level.
133
00:06:45,213 --> 00:06:46,463
Down periscope!
134
00:06:48,028 --> 00:06:50,027
- Oh, honey you gotta get in here.
135
00:06:50,027 --> 00:06:51,438
You gotta see this shit.
136
00:06:51,438 --> 00:06:53,757
This is the worst fucking
show I've ever seen.
137
00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:55,460
- Now Don is Carol.
138
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:56,381
- Oh, well wait, wait, wait.
139
00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:58,460
I want to be Jan.
140
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,214
So I can sleep in the
same room with Marsha.
141
00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:02,609
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.
142
00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:04,942
Why does she get everything?
143
00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:08,780
- Oh my God, I hate this fucking country.
144
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:11,496
- Dude, I have bras
that work harder than you.
145
00:07:11,496 --> 00:07:13,661
- Yeah, well your bras may
be working, but it looks
146
00:07:13,661 --> 00:07:15,871
like your panties took the day off.
147
00:07:15,871 --> 00:07:16,704
- Ha, yo!
148
00:07:17,558 --> 00:07:20,808
This nigga Pauly is fucking crazy, man.
149
00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:23,781
- You father listens to me, you know.
150
00:07:23,781 --> 00:07:24,779
I have his ear.
151
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,160
- That's not the only
thing you have of his.
152
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:30,327
- You ever seen Pauly and
then you see Pauly on weed.
153
00:07:36,505 --> 00:07:38,123
Oh my God.
154
00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:40,966
- Wow, that's a pretty nice rock.
155
00:07:40,966 --> 00:07:43,276
- Thanks, it's a four caret, emerald cut,
156
00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:44,776
blue eyed diamond.
157
00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:48,947
- Yeah, my mom's was bigger.
158
00:07:55,677 --> 00:07:56,910
Well that's it, you guys.
159
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,743
- Oh...
160
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,197
- Speech, speech.
161
00:07:59,197 --> 00:08:00,030
- Speech?
162
00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:00,863
- Yeah.
163
00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:01,696
- Speech?
164
00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:02,529
- Yeah.
165
00:08:02,529 --> 00:08:03,714
- Okay.
166
00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:04,675
Oh man.
167
00:08:04,675 --> 00:08:08,842
Well first of all, I want to
thank you guys for being here.
168
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,587
That means a lot to me.
169
00:08:11,587 --> 00:08:14,492
I got to thank my manager,
Mitch, and my agent, David,
170
00:08:14,492 --> 00:08:17,290
for packaging this show.
171
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:20,897
I want to thank my girlfriend,
Zoey, for her patience
172
00:08:20,897 --> 00:08:24,610
and understanding during
my hectic work schedule.
173
00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:25,625
I love you, princess.
174
00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:27,672
- Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.
175
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:29,553
- Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.
176
00:08:29,553 --> 00:08:31,203
I'd also like to thank
my best friend, Kirk,
177
00:08:31,203 --> 00:08:32,563
who was always there for
me when I was doubting
178
00:08:32,563 --> 00:08:34,227
the show's premise.
179
00:08:34,227 --> 00:08:37,355
Playing a spoiled rich kid from Brentwood.
180
00:08:37,355 --> 00:08:40,230
I mean how perfect is that for me?
181
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:41,480
- It's awesome.
182
00:08:43,521 --> 00:08:46,021
- To our, new, sitcom!
183
00:08:47,295 --> 00:08:48,170
Woo!
- The last time I saw
184
00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:50,116
a steaming piece of shit that big,
185
00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:51,743
I was standing outside
the elephant compound
186
00:08:51,743 --> 00:08:53,260
at the fucking zoo.
187
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:55,914
- Yeah, I can't believe
the network didn't pull it
188
00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:57,809
after the first commercial break.
189
00:08:57,809 --> 00:08:59,655
- I swear, I swear I'm gonna puke.
190
00:08:59,655 --> 00:09:01,508
You got some Tums or something?
191
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,751
- I only a few more minutes
left, and then I'll meet
192
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,141
you guys at the club.
193
00:09:04,141 --> 00:09:05,727
- Well tell Dormin you're coming.
194
00:09:05,727 --> 00:09:07,278
- Don't be late.
195
00:09:07,278 --> 00:09:08,111
- I won't.
196
00:09:09,574 --> 00:09:11,603
- I thought Pauly's show was funny.
197
00:09:11,603 --> 00:09:13,172
- Oh yeah, it was...
198
00:09:13,172 --> 00:09:14,672
It was hysterical.
199
00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:16,712
So what's your name?
200
00:09:16,712 --> 00:09:17,837
- Ashley, what's yours?
201
00:09:17,837 --> 00:09:19,465
- Tom.
202
00:09:19,465 --> 00:09:22,560
- You're that creepy guy
from all those movies, huh?
203
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,301
- No, that's Michael Madsen.
204
00:09:25,301 --> 00:09:26,799
- Oh.
205
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,942
- So uh, how you getting home?
206
00:09:29,942 --> 00:09:32,123
- My mom's picking me up.
207
00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:33,040
- Your mom?
208
00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:36,660
How about I take you home?
209
00:09:37,556 --> 00:09:38,389
- I dunno.
210
00:09:39,945 --> 00:09:41,146
- Come on.
211
00:09:41,146 --> 00:09:44,229
I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll...
212
00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:48,470
- Okay.
213
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:49,965
- God, that's lame.
214
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,913
- Yeah, yeah of course
I want my usual table.
215
00:09:51,913 --> 00:09:53,417
What the hell is wrong with you people?
216
00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:54,584
Just hold it a sec.
217
00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:56,549
Pauly, I got to tell you,
that is the funniest sitcom
218
00:09:56,549 --> 00:09:58,084
I have ever produced.
219
00:09:58,084 --> 00:09:59,831
No, it'll run a decade, 10 years easy.
220
00:09:59,831 --> 00:10:01,303
I'll call you in the
morning when I find out
221
00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:02,436
what the ratings are.
222
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,730
- Mitch, Mitch wait.
223
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,588
I just want to say thanks for everything.
224
00:10:06,588 --> 00:10:09,320
- Listen Pauly, everything
we've worked so hard
225
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,533
at in the last eight
years has come together
226
00:10:11,533 --> 00:10:13,450
just as planned, buddy.
227
00:10:14,503 --> 00:10:16,244
- Yeah you know, stinky buddy.
228
00:10:16,244 --> 00:10:18,942
Stinky piece of shit, buddy.
229
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:21,539
Going down the toilet, buddy.
230
00:10:21,539 --> 00:10:22,996
The fuck that guy does.
231
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:24,498
- I'll tell you what he does:
232
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,165
he exists, he lives.
233
00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:31,381
He could be incinerated by
the heat from a thousand suns.
234
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,890
It would be too good.
235
00:10:33,890 --> 00:10:36,261
- The second somebody put a
microphone in his hand, right?
236
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,081
And they said, "Hey, it's okay to talk,"
237
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:40,174
that's when the fucking trouble began.
238
00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:41,731
If my mommy owned a comedy club too,
239
00:10:41,731 --> 00:10:45,064
I'd be on fucking top too, motherfucker.
240
00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:49,591
- Hey Trevorina,
you're the architect
241
00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:50,755
of the stars, right?
242
00:10:50,755 --> 00:10:52,060
- Absolutely.
243
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:54,000
- How long do these
sitcoms keep you working for?
244
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,886
What is it, five, 10, 15 years?
245
00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:57,977
- How many episodes did the network order?
246
00:10:57,977 --> 00:10:58,810
- Six.
247
00:11:00,839 --> 00:11:01,822
Wait, what're you doing?
248
00:11:01,822 --> 00:11:02,790
Give me back my pen!
249
00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:04,012
- Six episodes?
250
00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:05,893
- It's just to start with.
251
00:11:05,893 --> 00:11:07,616
They're gonna order more episodes.
252
00:11:07,616 --> 00:11:08,659
- It's your manager.
253
00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:09,970
- Hey!
254
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,089
Hey, Mitch!
255
00:11:11,089 --> 00:11:12,915
- Pauly, you are not gonna believe this.
256
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:13,956
Are you sittin' down?
257
00:11:13,956 --> 00:11:15,076
- Yeah.
258
00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:17,293
- It was the lowest rated
show in Fox history.
259
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:18,126
- What?
260
00:11:19,153 --> 00:11:20,984
- Yeah, it didn't
even break the top 100.
261
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,532
- What about people in
the middle of the country?
262
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:23,406
- Hey, I dunno.
263
00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:24,406
They're pinheads.
264
00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:25,755
I guess they're watching
Springer reruns, I dunno.
265
00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,081
- That's okay, that's okay
266
00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:28,673
'cause it's the pilot episode, right?
267
00:11:28,673 --> 00:11:30,444
It took Seinfeld a year to catch on.
268
00:11:30,444 --> 00:11:33,005
- Pauly, brace yourself.
269
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:34,092
Are you braced?
270
00:11:34,092 --> 00:11:35,262
- Yeah, I'm braced.
271
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,496
- Yeah, they canceled your sitcom.
272
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:38,616
- Canceled?
273
00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:40,004
Just like that!?
274
00:11:40,004 --> 00:11:40,955
- Well hey, come on.
275
00:11:40,955 --> 00:11:42,095
Did you read the reviews?
276
00:11:42,095 --> 00:11:43,308
- You told me not to.
277
00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:45,114
- Entertainment Monthly gave it an F.
278
00:11:45,114 --> 00:11:48,872
They said, and I quote,
"Sucks worse than gravity."
279
00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:50,872
- So the nine minute air episode two?
280
00:11:50,872 --> 00:11:53,366
- You've been preempted
by When Animals Attack.
281
00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:55,224
- I can be attacked by animals.
282
00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:56,236
- Hold it, Pauly.
283
00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:58,101
I got another call.
284
00:11:58,101 --> 00:11:59,166
I gotta take it.
285
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,727
- Maybe it's the network, I'll hold.
286
00:12:00,727 --> 00:12:02,329
- As a matter of fact, it is.
287
00:12:02,329 --> 00:12:03,776
I got another show in the works with them.
288
00:12:03,776 --> 00:12:04,850
- Staring who?
289
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,888
- I dunno, it's
my production deal.
290
00:12:06,888 --> 00:12:08,415
- How'd you get your own production deal?
291
00:12:08,415 --> 00:12:11,160
- Well, you know, by producing your show.
292
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,373
Look, Pauly, I'll tell you what.
293
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:14,988
This afternoon, I got some time.
294
00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:17,481
I'll call MTV, I'll see
if I can get you back on.
295
00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:19,025
- Mitch, look that's the
last thing I'm gonna do
296
00:12:19,025 --> 00:12:20,998
is go crawling back to MTV, okay?
297
00:12:20,998 --> 00:12:22,480
- Gotta go!
298
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,334
- Don't you hang up on me!
299
00:12:30,296 --> 00:12:31,794
- Listen, why don't we take
a drive to Santa Barbara,
300
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,461
grab some lunch, clear the mind?
301
00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:37,787
You know, you might be a little shooken up
302
00:12:37,787 --> 00:12:38,936
by the news of the sitcom.
303
00:12:38,936 --> 00:12:42,129
- David, it has nothing
to do with the show, okay?
304
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,382
I just...
305
00:12:43,382 --> 00:12:47,878
I just need to surround myself
with a new team, that's all.
306
00:12:47,878 --> 00:12:48,711
David?
307
00:12:51,064 --> 00:12:53,783
- I'm just a little choked up.
308
00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:56,681
Pauly, you sure you
don't wanna rethink this?
309
00:12:56,681 --> 00:12:58,098
- I already have.
310
00:12:59,536 --> 00:13:00,536
- Okay then.
311
00:13:01,622 --> 00:13:02,944
Good luck.
312
00:13:02,944 --> 00:13:03,777
- Bye.
313
00:13:12,991 --> 00:13:13,908
- Hey guys?
314
00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:18,253
Pauly fired us.
315
00:13:19,269 --> 00:13:21,151
He finally fired us.
316
00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:21,984
Yeah!
317
00:13:22,827 --> 00:13:23,660
Yeah!
318
00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:26,476
He fired us!
319
00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:27,393
Yeah, yeah!
320
00:13:29,047 --> 00:13:29,880
Oh yeah!
321
00:13:30,838 --> 00:13:31,671
Yeah! Woo!
322
00:13:43,188 --> 00:13:44,021
- Fuck!
323
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,417
Fuck, my head.
324
00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:48,217
Oh shit.
325
00:13:49,187 --> 00:13:50,854
Yeah, well fuck MTV!
326
00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:53,984
You guys are the whole reason why things
327
00:13:53,984 --> 00:13:56,734
are fucked up for me now anyways.
328
00:13:58,812 --> 00:14:00,312
I gotta go to VH1.
329
00:14:01,285 --> 00:14:02,118
I gotta...
330
00:14:04,391 --> 00:14:06,903
So with the failed sitcom
and no representation,
331
00:14:06,903 --> 00:14:09,146
I wound up where all the
other out of work actors
332
00:14:09,146 --> 00:14:11,942
wind up in LA: The Coffee Bean.
333
00:14:11,942 --> 00:14:15,327
Or I like to call it:
The Unemployment Bean.
334
00:14:15,327 --> 00:14:17,660
or in my case: The Has-Bean.
335
00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:26,942
- Oh yes sir, that's good too.
336
00:14:26,942 --> 00:14:27,810
And this one.
337
00:14:27,810 --> 00:14:28,643
- Zoey?
338
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:30,501
Zoey?
339
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,780
- Booger, what happened?
340
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,181
- Look, forget what happened to me,
341
00:14:35,181 --> 00:14:36,397
what the hell's going on here?
342
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:39,589
- A couple days ago, I met
this guy, Sal Goldstein,
343
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,489
at the car wash and
he's helping me pick out
344
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,383
the right headshot.
345
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:44,521
Oh, and I'm also testing for Playboy.
346
00:14:44,521 --> 00:14:45,849
Sal knows Heff.
347
00:14:45,849 --> 00:14:47,468
- Well I don't really know him.
348
00:14:47,468 --> 00:14:49,077
I have a friend who knows
someone who's been up
349
00:14:49,077 --> 00:14:52,190
in the mansion a couple
times, and he met him once.
350
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,430
- What's your friend's name?
351
00:14:53,430 --> 00:14:54,371
- Sal!
- Sal!
352
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,221
- Sal, nice to meet you.
353
00:14:55,221 --> 00:14:56,954
- Hi, nice to--
- What's up, buddy?
354
00:14:56,954 --> 00:15:00,062
- Look, sweetie, let's
just get outta here.
355
00:15:00,062 --> 00:15:01,137
- Not now.
356
00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:03,000
I'm in a business meeting.
357
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,506
- But I need you.
358
00:15:04,506 --> 00:15:06,923
- We'll see each other later.
359
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,328
I'm sorry.
360
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:18,841
- Hey, Pauly Shore?
361
00:15:18,841 --> 00:15:20,080
Pauly.
362
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,033
- Fuck, what, what!?
363
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,708
- I know...
364
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:24,849
It must bother you people.
365
00:15:24,849 --> 00:15:26,379
I don't mean to bother you or anything,
366
00:15:26,379 --> 00:15:27,660
but I'm from Florida.
367
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,961
I'm in a band called Limp Bizkit.
368
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,257
- Yeah, yeah what?
369
00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:32,180
- Well I was just thinking, I got a demo
370
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:33,508
and maybe you got...
371
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:36,067
What happened to your face, man?
372
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,215
- So what do you want me to do
with your fucking demo, what?
373
00:15:38,215 --> 00:15:40,268
- Well if you like it, maybe listen to it,
374
00:15:40,268 --> 00:15:41,624
pass it on to the people at MTV.
375
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:42,855
- Yeah, is that what you thought?
376
00:15:42,855 --> 00:15:44,445
Huh, what do I fucking
have a sign on my neck
377
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:46,328
that says, "Loser, I
have nothing going on.
378
00:15:46,328 --> 00:15:47,684
"My time is yours?"
379
00:15:47,684 --> 00:15:48,725
Huh?
380
00:15:48,725 --> 00:15:49,617
- Well...
381
00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:50,937
- In fact, what's your name?
382
00:15:50,937 --> 00:15:51,811
- Fred.
383
00:15:51,811 --> 00:15:52,684
- Fred?
384
00:15:52,684 --> 00:15:54,353
Yeah, Fred, that's a really
good name for a rockstar.
385
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:56,464
What is it, fucking Fred Flintstone?
386
00:15:56,464 --> 00:15:58,554
- Nah, Limp Bizkit.
387
00:15:58,554 --> 00:15:59,554
- Yeah, Limp Bizkit.
388
00:15:59,554 --> 00:16:00,773
Yeah, you guys are really gonna go far.
389
00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:02,805
What does that mean, shriveled up dick?
390
00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:03,638
Huh?
391
00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,605
- You know, man, you're a dick!
392
00:16:07,605 --> 00:16:09,537
We're gonna blow up one of these days bro,
393
00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,992
and I ain't never putting you in a video.
394
00:16:11,992 --> 00:16:13,742
Weasel-ass, punk-ass.
395
00:16:15,092 --> 00:16:16,262
Who the fuck...
396
00:16:16,262 --> 00:16:17,680
Fuck you!
397
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:18,930
Fucking faggot.
398
00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:31,819
- I believe he's upset.
399
00:16:31,819 --> 00:16:34,102
Pauly is supposed to follow
Married with Children.
400
00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:35,412
It says so right here.
401
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,360
- I know that, Bucky.
402
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,510
- Then what's this sub-moronic crap!?
403
00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:41,846
- I don't think he's happy.
404
00:16:41,846 --> 00:16:43,992
- Goddamn Hollywood know-it-alls.
405
00:16:43,992 --> 00:16:46,369
Then numbnuts wouldn't know comic genius
406
00:16:46,369 --> 00:16:48,467
if it bit 'em in the ass.
407
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:50,134
When Animals Attack?
408
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:52,887
Hell, who wants to watch that shit!?
409
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,586
If I wanted to watch
that, I'd throw a porkchop
410
00:16:54,586 --> 00:16:56,630
in the yard and watch the dogs go at it.
411
00:16:56,630 --> 00:16:57,463
Hell!
412
00:16:59,871 --> 00:17:03,156
This is my darkest hour
of television viewing.
413
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:06,869
This is worse than when
they replaced Bo and Luke.
414
00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:09,124
I need to laugh, I need The Weasel.
415
00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:11,319
And I need The Weasel and I need him now!
416
00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:13,783
- We could watch "Son in Law."
417
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:14,616
Again.
418
00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:18,829
- I want my Weasel, and I want him now!
419
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,690
- Jesus Christ, Pauly.
420
00:17:34,690 --> 00:17:36,822
How many times do I have
to tell you, slow down
421
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,198
around that fucking corner.
422
00:17:38,198 --> 00:17:39,305
- I'm sorry, man.
423
00:17:39,305 --> 00:17:41,876
I forgot you're my neighbor.
424
00:17:41,876 --> 00:17:43,886
Hey Vern, let me ask you a question.
425
00:17:43,886 --> 00:17:45,052
Who takes a bigger shit, huh?
426
00:17:45,052 --> 00:17:46,134
You or your dog.
427
00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:48,302
- Depends on who's seen "Bio-Dome" last.
428
00:17:48,302 --> 00:17:49,602
Ahh!
- Ahh!
429
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,775
- I got ya, I got ya.
430
00:17:50,775 --> 00:17:51,608
- Ah.
431
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,194
- So how you been?
432
00:17:54,194 --> 00:17:55,777
- Good, things couldn't be better.
433
00:17:55,777 --> 00:17:57,298
So hey, you got the big opening coming up.
434
00:17:57,298 --> 00:17:58,636
"Austin Powers."
435
00:17:58,636 --> 00:18:00,152
Shagadelic, baby.
436
00:18:00,152 --> 00:18:01,449
"Oh, behave.
437
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:02,762
"Oh behave."
438
00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:04,351
- Like I haven't heard that before.
439
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:05,307
- Hey, so is Mike pretty cool?
440
00:18:05,307 --> 00:18:06,510
Mike Myers?
441
00:18:06,510 --> 00:18:07,440
- Yeah, he's an awesome guy.
442
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,622
- Yeah, he does a lot of movies?
443
00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:09,757
- Shit load.
444
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:12,780
- Think there's any parts in there for me?
445
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:16,145
Vern, do you think there's any
parts in his movies for me!?
446
00:18:16,145 --> 00:18:17,225
- I'll talk to him.
447
00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:18,445
I'll see what I can do.
448
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:19,754
- Come on, hook up a boy.
449
00:18:19,754 --> 00:18:20,948
I'm your neighbor, bro.
450
00:18:20,948 --> 00:18:21,953
- I'll see what I can do.
451
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:23,617
- Okay, sorry about the corner thing.
452
00:18:23,617 --> 00:18:24,656
- Don't worry buddy, just slow down
453
00:18:24,656 --> 00:18:25,902
around the corners, dude.
454
00:18:25,902 --> 00:18:27,161
- Okay, later.
455
00:18:27,161 --> 00:18:28,578
- Come on, Butch.
456
00:18:35,027 --> 00:18:37,194
- So how you doing, Pauly?
457
00:18:38,187 --> 00:18:39,104
- I'm good.
458
00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:43,572
- Um, after reviewing your money accounts,
459
00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:46,377
and realizing that
you're not making as much
460
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:48,997
as you used to, I think it would be best
461
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:51,914
if you immediately sold your house.
462
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:54,718
- God, I knew you were gonna say that.
463
00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:55,619
I just knew.
464
00:18:55,619 --> 00:18:57,430
Driving over here, I knew
you were gonna say that.
465
00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:58,588
- Jesus, Pauly.
466
00:18:58,588 --> 00:18:59,878
Why didn't you save your money?
467
00:18:59,878 --> 00:19:02,355
- Why didn't you tell me to save my money?
468
00:19:02,355 --> 00:19:04,784
- Listen, my job at this firm is at advise
469
00:19:04,784 --> 00:19:06,314
you in investments.
470
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:07,800
At the end of the day, it's your money
471
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,748
and you spend it how you want.
472
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,844
You spent it like I
have never seen before.
473
00:19:11,844 --> 00:19:14,927
$5,000 a month on young, shaved boys?
474
00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:18,418
- What?
475
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:19,952
- Oh, I'm sorry.
476
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:23,141
I've got Elton John's
stuff mixed in with yours.
477
00:19:23,141 --> 00:19:24,623
Yeah, here we go.
478
00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:27,510
$3,000 a month on Swedish escorts.
479
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:30,149
- Hey, at least I didn't
spend as much money as Elton.
480
00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:32,416
- You don't need an accountant, Pauly.
481
00:19:32,416 --> 00:19:34,632
What you need is help.
482
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,465
Real help.
483
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:39,044
Now I know of a sex rehab in Arizona
484
00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:41,611
that you oughta check yourself into.
485
00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:43,932
I just got a six month chip.
486
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,727
- Hello?
487
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:57,375
- Hey.
488
00:19:57,375 --> 00:19:58,689
What're you doing?
489
00:19:58,689 --> 00:20:00,212
- What're you doing?
490
00:20:00,212 --> 00:20:01,462
- Watching you.
491
00:20:03,442 --> 00:20:05,353
Tell me what I like.
492
00:20:05,353 --> 00:20:07,014
- Not right now, Pauly.
493
00:20:07,014 --> 00:20:08,707
I'm doing my taxes.
494
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,874
- Come on, but I need you.
495
00:20:12,174 --> 00:20:13,007
- Alright.
496
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:17,083
First I'm gonna kiss
all over your stomach.
497
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,641
Then we'll do reverse
cowgirl, then I'm going
498
00:20:19,641 --> 00:20:21,843
to suck your .
499
00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:23,043
- Wait.
500
00:20:23,043 --> 00:20:24,247
Hello?
501
00:20:24,247 --> 00:20:26,082
- What're you doing, Pauly?
502
00:20:26,082 --> 00:20:27,203
- Hey mom.
503
00:20:27,203 --> 00:20:28,892
I'm doing my taxes.
504
00:20:28,892 --> 00:20:30,257
- You don't do your taxes.
505
00:20:30,257 --> 00:20:31,504
Come on over.
506
00:20:31,504 --> 00:20:32,754
- Just hold on.
507
00:20:37,314 --> 00:20:38,690
Quick, quick.
508
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:40,155
Tell me what I like?
509
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:43,432
- Wendy's hamburgers, matzah and eggs,
510
00:20:43,432 --> 00:20:44,905
apple pie and raisen.
511
00:20:44,905 --> 00:20:48,822
- Mom, mom please wait.
- Pineapple and bananas.
512
00:20:54,623 --> 00:20:57,373
- Pauly, what's going on?
513
00:20:57,373 --> 00:20:58,290
- Oh, shit.
514
00:20:59,243 --> 00:21:00,578
- Are you okay?
515
00:21:00,578 --> 00:21:01,619
- Mom, I'm fine.
516
00:21:01,619 --> 00:21:02,855
I'm fine, okay?
517
00:21:02,855 --> 00:21:04,732
- I need you to come over.
518
00:21:04,732 --> 00:21:05,899
My head hurts.
519
00:21:07,362 --> 00:21:09,001
- I'll be over there in a sec.
520
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,729
- 'Cause I got a headache.
521
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:11,605
- I'm coming!
522
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:13,605
- Hurry up!
523
00:21:15,717 --> 00:21:17,439
- I mean, it's just kind
of a momentum thing.
524
00:21:17,439 --> 00:21:18,841
- Well whatever the momentum is,
525
00:21:18,841 --> 00:21:20,950
it's not just going towards me.
526
00:21:20,950 --> 00:21:22,232
I don't have any momentum.
527
00:21:22,232 --> 00:21:23,815
- Oranges, oranges.
528
00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,176
Oranges!
529
00:21:26,176 --> 00:21:27,137
- It'll swing the other way.
530
00:21:27,137 --> 00:21:28,458
- Well it's gonna swing?
531
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:30,021
- You just never know.
532
00:21:30,021 --> 00:21:32,543
You just gotta be ready
for when it does swing.
533
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:33,555
- Right.
534
00:21:33,555 --> 00:21:34,388
- Oranges.
535
00:21:35,964 --> 00:21:38,030
Rico Suave Oranges.
536
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,542
- Maybe we can hook up
after dinner, at the store.
537
00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:41,428
- Oh my God?
538
00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:42,595
- Orange, hey!
539
00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:44,914
Oranges.
540
00:21:46,564 --> 00:21:48,023
- Rico?
541
00:21:48,023 --> 00:21:49,210
- Pauly!
542
00:21:49,210 --> 00:21:50,617
What's up, Weasel.
543
00:21:50,617 --> 00:21:51,803
Hey this is my son, this is Junior, man.
544
00:21:51,803 --> 00:21:55,399
- Chiclet, chiclet, chiclet, chiclet.
545
00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:57,615
- Ah, just like his daddy, bro.
546
00:21:57,615 --> 00:21:58,504
What's up, man?
547
00:21:58,504 --> 00:21:59,386
- Nothing, man.
548
00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:00,219
I mean how you been?
549
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,052
What've you been doing?
550
00:22:01,052 --> 00:22:01,885
- Selling oranges.
551
00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:02,718
Come on, buy some, man.
552
00:22:02,718 --> 00:22:04,119
- Look, I was at the
supermarket, I just got
553
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:05,255
a whole bunch of oranges.
554
00:22:05,255 --> 00:22:06,661
But hey, it was good seeing you.
555
00:22:06,661 --> 00:22:08,206
- Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
556
00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:09,039
Come on, bro.
557
00:22:09,039 --> 00:22:09,872
Hey Pauly, come on man.
558
00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:10,705
Not in front of my son, holmes.
559
00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:11,538
Buy some oranges, bro.
560
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,371
Come on, man.
561
00:22:12,371 --> 00:22:13,981
- Chiclet, chiclet, chiclet.
562
00:22:13,981 --> 00:22:15,191
- I don't have any fucking money, bro.
563
00:22:15,191 --> 00:22:16,640
- chiclet, chiclet!
564
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,229
- Look, I gotta get outta here, man.
565
00:22:18,229 --> 00:22:19,275
I gotta go take care of my--
566
00:22:19,275 --> 00:22:20,382
- Where do you think you're going, fool?
567
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,416
You know what, Pauly?
568
00:22:21,416 --> 00:22:22,323
Fuck you, Pauly!
569
00:22:22,323 --> 00:22:23,304
You fucking leave.
570
00:22:23,304 --> 00:22:24,190
Kiss my ass, man.
571
00:22:24,190 --> 00:22:25,023
You ain't going nowhere.
572
00:22:25,023 --> 00:22:25,856
- I got shit to do.
573
00:22:25,856 --> 00:22:27,658
- Oh hell no, fuck no.
574
00:22:27,658 --> 00:22:28,491
- Ow!
575
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:30,995
Ah!
576
00:22:30,995 --> 00:22:31,828
- Jesus!
577
00:22:35,199 --> 00:22:36,032
- Asshole!
578
00:22:37,196 --> 00:22:38,567
- Who's Rico Suave, fool?
579
00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:40,037
Who is Rico Suave, holmes?
580
00:22:40,037 --> 00:22:40,873
Me!
581
00:22:40,873 --> 00:22:41,706
Motherfucker.
582
00:22:41,706 --> 00:22:42,539
Fuck him, Pauly.
583
00:22:42,539 --> 00:22:43,812
Say, "Fuck you, Pauly."
584
00:22:43,812 --> 00:22:45,761
I used to fucking hook
him up all the time.
585
00:22:45,761 --> 00:22:47,344
He can suck my ass.
586
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:49,489
Fuck him, man.
587
00:22:49,489 --> 00:22:52,239
Come on, let's sell some oranges.
588
00:23:02,376 --> 00:23:04,683
- Hi Pauly, it's your mom.
589
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:06,340
I really appreciate you rubbing my head.
590
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:08,219
I really feel much better.
591
00:23:08,219 --> 00:23:09,822
I love you, honey.
592
00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:10,655
Bye.
593
00:23:19,812 --> 00:23:21,617
- The only reason I ever
laughed at your jokes
594
00:23:21,617 --> 00:23:23,519
was to get pussy.
595
00:23:23,519 --> 00:23:26,094
- But I need you, but I need you.
596
00:23:26,094 --> 00:23:27,219
- Knock, knock.
597
00:23:27,219 --> 00:23:28,097
- Who's there?
598
00:23:28,097 --> 00:23:28,930
- Pauly.
599
00:23:28,930 --> 00:23:29,763
- Pauly who?
600
00:23:29,763 --> 00:23:30,596
- Exactly.
601
00:23:31,487 --> 00:23:32,827
- Your 15 minutes are up, Pauly.
602
00:23:32,827 --> 00:23:33,660
It's over!
603
00:23:33,660 --> 00:23:35,394
- Pauly, you're so pathetic.
604
00:23:35,394 --> 00:23:36,730
- I want you dead.
605
00:23:36,730 --> 00:23:37,563
- Freak.
606
00:23:37,563 --> 00:23:40,667
Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.
607
00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:42,804
- I'm never putting you in a video.
608
00:23:42,804 --> 00:23:43,777
- Not now, Pauly.
609
00:23:43,777 --> 00:23:44,610
I'm in a business meeting.
610
00:23:44,610 --> 00:23:46,435
- I might kill you myself.
611
00:23:46,435 --> 00:23:47,552
- Pauly, I'm in a business meeting,
612
00:23:47,552 --> 00:23:48,987
business meeting, business meeting.
613
00:24:06,260 --> 00:24:07,969
- I think I got everything.
614
00:24:07,969 --> 00:24:09,987
- Want another squeeze before I go?
615
00:24:09,987 --> 00:24:10,820
- Oh, yeah.
616
00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:11,653
Come here.
617
00:24:14,341 --> 00:24:15,174
- You want crack, too?
618
00:24:15,174 --> 00:24:16,064
- Yeah.
619
00:24:16,064 --> 00:24:18,231
- Breathe in, breathe out.
620
00:24:23,605 --> 00:24:24,961
- You're all loaded up, brother.
621
00:24:24,961 --> 00:24:26,128
- Thanks, man.
622
00:24:26,986 --> 00:24:28,981
- What the fuck is he still doing here?
623
00:24:28,981 --> 00:24:29,814
Move.
624
00:24:30,818 --> 00:24:31,901
Jesus Christ.
625
00:24:33,663 --> 00:24:36,058
What the fuck happened to this place!?
626
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:37,435
- We called, he was
supposed to be outta here
627
00:24:37,435 --> 00:24:38,308
a week ago.
628
00:24:38,308 --> 00:24:39,157
- Well he's not.
629
00:24:39,157 --> 00:24:40,276
- Well...
630
00:24:40,276 --> 00:24:41,558
- What're
you still doing here?
631
00:24:41,558 --> 00:24:42,746
- I was just getting ready to leave.
632
00:24:42,746 --> 00:24:45,165
- Well not till you clean this shit up.
633
00:24:45,165 --> 00:24:45,998
- Hi.
634
00:24:45,998 --> 00:24:46,918
- How are you?
635
00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:48,031
- Trevorina?
636
00:24:48,031 --> 00:24:49,349
- Oh, hi Pauly.
637
00:24:49,349 --> 00:24:51,499
- When are we adding the
two new floors to the house?
638
00:24:51,499 --> 00:24:53,108
- You're adding two new floors?
639
00:24:53,108 --> 00:24:55,194
- Yeah, two whole new floors!
640
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:56,661
- Got a lotta trunks.
641
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,183
Hey listen, sorry about the sitcom, okay?
642
00:24:58,183 --> 00:24:59,222
I just got myself one.
643
00:24:59,222 --> 00:25:00,469
22 on the air.
644
00:25:00,469 --> 00:25:01,643
- Congratulations.
645
00:25:01,643 --> 00:25:03,120
- Yeah, 22.
646
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:04,397
- Yeah, anyway listen.
647
00:25:04,397 --> 00:25:05,454
Actually Mitch is the one to congratulate.
648
00:25:05,454 --> 00:25:08,704
He's my new manager, and he's
the one who got me the part.
649
00:25:08,704 --> 00:25:10,701
Listen, why don't you run
along to mommy's club, okay?
650
00:25:10,701 --> 00:25:12,257
Alright guys, let's go.
651
00:25:12,257 --> 00:25:13,552
In fact, fuck Mitch.
652
00:25:13,552 --> 00:25:15,031
He's the one who said this place was nice.
653
00:25:15,031 --> 00:25:16,273
It still fucking smells like Pauly.
654
00:25:16,273 --> 00:25:18,497
Will you guys please give me space.
655
00:25:18,497 --> 00:25:22,764
- God, I can't believe Carrot
Top moved into my house.
656
00:25:22,764 --> 00:25:25,263
And I can't believe I'm
moving back home with my mom.
657
00:25:25,263 --> 00:25:27,283
- I mean we had some
good times at your mom's.
658
00:25:27,283 --> 00:25:29,008
- Kirk, we were 12.
659
00:25:29,008 --> 00:25:30,758
So have you seen him?
660
00:25:32,149 --> 00:25:33,907
Kirk, have you seen him?
661
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,052
- Nah.
662
00:25:35,052 --> 00:25:35,983
- Well why?
663
00:25:35,983 --> 00:25:37,214
- Well 'cause I haven't seen him--
664
00:25:37,214 --> 00:25:39,920
- Well when are you gonna see him next?
665
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,475
Kirk, when are you gonna see him next?
666
00:25:42,475 --> 00:25:43,717
- Tomorrow.
667
00:25:43,717 --> 00:25:45,506
Tomorrow we're gonna have
a drink and that's when
668
00:25:45,506 --> 00:25:46,849
I'm going to see him next.
669
00:25:46,849 --> 00:25:48,635
- Well when you see him,
what're you gonna say to him?
670
00:25:48,635 --> 00:25:50,430
- "Pauly Shore's a good friend.
671
00:25:50,430 --> 00:25:52,038
"Can he come in and read
for a part in your movie?
672
00:25:52,038 --> 00:25:53,322
"It'd be cool, thanks."
673
00:25:53,322 --> 00:25:54,423
- Just like that?
674
00:25:54,423 --> 00:25:56,048
You gotta come from the heart, bro.
675
00:25:56,048 --> 00:25:56,952
We're friends.
676
00:25:56,952 --> 00:25:58,635
- I will mention your
name first thing tomorrow
677
00:25:58,635 --> 00:26:01,718
when I see him, I mean it'll be fine.
678
00:26:09,179 --> 00:26:11,006
- It was on last night.
679
00:26:11,006 --> 00:26:13,060
I was just flipping channels, you know.
680
00:26:13,060 --> 00:26:15,647
And I remember seeing the ads for it,
681
00:26:15,647 --> 00:26:17,291
the newspaper one, was out in the theaters
682
00:26:17,291 --> 00:26:19,395
and all of that stuff,
but I still couldn't...
683
00:26:19,395 --> 00:26:22,226
Then the title was over, I
didn't seen the end credits.
684
00:26:22,226 --> 00:26:24,226
It was like "Viraldome."
685
00:26:25,344 --> 00:26:27,038
You know, Baldwin's brother.
686
00:26:27,038 --> 00:26:28,298
- Which Baldwin?
687
00:26:28,298 --> 00:26:31,087
- The one that's like six,
or something or other.
688
00:26:31,087 --> 00:26:33,044
But the one who kinda...
689
00:26:33,044 --> 00:26:34,820
He has, his eyes are kinda always, like--
690
00:26:34,820 --> 00:26:35,890
- Yeah.
691
00:26:35,890 --> 00:26:37,625
- He's the other guy in it.
692
00:26:37,625 --> 00:26:39,610
- That's the young one.
693
00:26:39,610 --> 00:26:41,652
- It's the other guy with the brown...
694
00:26:41,652 --> 00:26:43,666
He's got kinda brown, curly hair.
695
00:26:43,666 --> 00:26:45,252
He used to be on MTV, and he had the girls
696
00:26:45,252 --> 00:26:48,630
around him all the time and that?
697
00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:50,049
"Aah."
698
00:26:50,049 --> 00:26:51,940
He always made noises.
699
00:26:51,940 --> 00:26:54,082
- He made noises?
700
00:26:54,082 --> 00:26:56,312
- I can't remember his name.
701
00:26:56,312 --> 00:26:58,530
I think Fisher Steven's available--
702
00:26:58,530 --> 00:27:00,631
- There's a lot of guys available.
703
00:27:00,631 --> 00:27:01,938
- Alright, he made me laugh.
704
00:27:01,938 --> 00:27:03,521
- I make you laugh.
705
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,615
- Pauly Shore!
706
00:27:07,615 --> 00:27:09,945
Step right up, meet Pauly Shore.
707
00:27:09,945 --> 00:27:11,159
Former celebrity.
708
00:27:11,159 --> 00:27:15,702
You remember him from MTV,
"Encino Man," "The Son in Law,"
709
00:27:15,702 --> 00:27:19,315
and all his many television appearances.
710
00:27:19,315 --> 00:27:20,760
Pauly Shore.
711
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,756
Now he works parking
cars in his mom's club.
712
00:27:24,756 --> 00:27:26,537
- Parking cars in his mom's club!
713
00:27:26,537 --> 00:27:27,666
- Pauly Shore!
714
00:27:27,666 --> 00:27:28,829
Touch Pauly.
715
00:27:28,829 --> 00:27:30,354
Have a photo taken with Pauly.
716
00:27:30,354 --> 00:27:31,731
- Oh, I want a picture!
717
00:27:31,731 --> 00:27:33,020
- Just $1.
718
00:27:33,020 --> 00:27:33,937
Pauly Sho--
719
00:27:35,288 --> 00:27:36,311
Look at this.
720
00:27:36,311 --> 00:27:37,791
- Can I put my arm around you?
721
00:27:37,791 --> 00:27:38,624
- Yeah.
722
00:27:42,860 --> 00:27:44,394
- Loved ya in that "Goofy Movie."
723
00:27:44,394 --> 00:27:45,845
- Yeah, that was great.
724
00:27:45,845 --> 00:27:46,938
- Come on, man.
725
00:27:46,938 --> 00:27:48,452
You always used to love that bit.
726
00:27:48,452 --> 00:27:49,760
- Yeah.
727
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,814
But now it's true, man.
728
00:27:51,814 --> 00:27:52,956
- It's no big deal.
729
00:27:52,956 --> 00:27:55,881
- You know what, give me
my fucking dollar back.
730
00:27:55,881 --> 00:27:57,881
- What's wrong with him?
731
00:27:58,763 --> 00:28:00,805
- Yeah, so this is my loft.
732
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:01,754
This is where I live.
733
00:28:01,754 --> 00:28:02,927
It's pretty cool.
734
00:28:02,927 --> 00:28:03,778
- Wow.
735
00:28:03,778 --> 00:28:04,611
- Come check this place out.
736
00:28:04,611 --> 00:28:05,682
Is this phat or what?
737
00:28:05,682 --> 00:28:07,475
It's like my little love capsule in here.
738
00:28:07,475 --> 00:28:10,105
It's where I make love.
739
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,138
- Did anybody tell you that you look
740
00:28:12,138 --> 00:28:14,305
just like Richard Simmons?
741
00:28:17,147 --> 00:28:20,397
How about you give me your deal a meal?
742
00:28:25,695 --> 00:28:27,380
Ah, ah, ah.
743
00:28:27,380 --> 00:28:29,517
Not till I get my money.
744
00:28:29,517 --> 00:28:30,350
- Okay.
745
00:28:37,043 --> 00:28:37,876
- $83?
746
00:28:38,984 --> 00:28:41,984
- Wait, got an extra dollar tonight.
747
00:28:44,512 --> 00:28:47,303
- What do you expect me to do for $84?
748
00:28:47,303 --> 00:28:48,843
- Come here and I'll show you.
749
00:28:48,843 --> 00:28:50,234
- No, where's your phone?
750
00:28:50,234 --> 00:28:51,537
- What's the problem?
751
00:28:51,537 --> 00:28:53,274
- The problem?
752
00:28:53,274 --> 00:28:55,967
The problem is I get paid 500.
753
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:58,215
Didn't Heidi tell you that?
754
00:28:58,215 --> 00:28:59,565
- Look, what's the big deal, man?
755
00:28:59,565 --> 00:29:01,164
At least I'm not some old guy.
756
00:29:01,164 --> 00:29:01,997
Wait, wait, wait.
757
00:29:01,997 --> 00:29:03,021
Hey look!
758
00:29:03,021 --> 00:29:04,212
Soft.
759
00:29:04,212 --> 00:29:06,379
I'm soft, come here, feel.
760
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:10,717
Come here, look.
761
00:29:10,717 --> 00:29:11,591
Feel my butt.
762
00:29:11,591 --> 00:29:13,349
It's soft, right?
763
00:29:13,349 --> 00:29:14,182
See?
764
00:29:14,182 --> 00:29:15,300
- Oh, it is soft.
765
00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:16,133
- See, I told you.
766
00:29:16,133 --> 00:29:18,526
I'm like the Coppertone Baby.
767
00:29:18,526 --> 00:29:19,943
- Oh, it is soft.
768
00:29:24,784 --> 00:29:27,526
Now do the Grim Reaper Reach-Around.
769
00:29:27,526 --> 00:29:28,383
- The what?
770
00:29:28,383 --> 00:29:29,989
- The Grim Reaper Reach-Around.
771
00:29:29,989 --> 00:29:31,210
It's where you reach around.
772
00:29:31,210 --> 00:29:32,043
Hmm, oh.
773
00:29:34,947 --> 00:29:36,031
Ow!
774
00:29:36,031 --> 00:29:38,113
What the hell!?
775
00:29:38,113 --> 00:29:41,256
- You wanted to know what I do for $84?
776
00:29:41,256 --> 00:29:42,423
I just did it.
777
00:29:43,544 --> 00:29:44,627
- Wait, wait.
778
00:29:46,260 --> 00:29:48,545
All I wanted to do was cuddle.
779
00:29:48,545 --> 00:29:50,128
- You are pathetic!
780
00:29:56,012 --> 00:29:57,709
- Hi, you've reached
Jewel De'Nyle residence.
781
00:29:57,709 --> 00:29:59,630
I am out dancing this weekend.
782
00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:03,146
If you'd like to see me feature,
I'll be in Tropical Lake.
783
00:30:03,146 --> 00:30:07,470
And Pauly, if it's you
calling, get a life.
784
00:31:02,729 --> 00:31:03,896
- Who's there?
785
00:31:05,213 --> 00:31:06,796
I said who's there?
786
00:31:08,528 --> 00:31:11,077
- It's not Howdy-fucking-Doody.
787
00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:11,910
- Kinison?
788
00:31:12,765 --> 00:31:15,803
- You got that right, you little bastard.
789
00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:19,124
- What the hell are you doing here?
790
00:31:19,124 --> 00:31:21,121
- I've been watching
you, checking you out,
791
00:31:21,121 --> 00:31:23,852
and as your guardian angel,
I've come to the conclusion
792
00:31:23,852 --> 00:31:25,741
that you'd be better off if you had put
793
00:31:25,741 --> 00:31:29,956
a bullet through your
fucking head .
794
00:31:29,956 --> 00:31:31,970
- What are you saying, I
should just kill myself?
795
00:31:31,970 --> 00:31:33,795
- Look, let me say this
in a way you understand.
796
00:31:33,795 --> 00:31:35,688
Take your life, buddy?
797
00:31:35,688 --> 00:31:37,455
You understand that, you fuck!
798
00:31:37,455 --> 00:31:38,397
- Why should I do that?
799
00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:41,199
- You'll go down as a genius
who died before his time,
800
00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:43,003
like me, or Belushi.
801
00:31:43,003 --> 00:31:44,795
Which would you rather be?
802
00:31:44,795 --> 00:31:46,853
A dead genius, or a living idiot?
803
00:31:46,853 --> 00:31:47,686
You idiot!
804
00:31:49,477 --> 00:31:50,671
- Dead genius!
805
00:31:50,671 --> 00:31:51,964
- Exactly.
806
00:31:51,964 --> 00:31:53,843
And plus, the party's great up here.
807
00:31:53,843 --> 00:31:55,037
- Up here?
808
00:31:55,037 --> 00:31:56,738
What do you mean, you're in heaven?
809
00:31:56,738 --> 00:31:59,323
- It's about who you know, brother.
810
00:32:01,530 --> 00:32:02,973
oh shit.
811
00:32:02,973 --> 00:32:04,828
It's fucking Hendrix.
812
00:32:04,828 --> 00:32:06,569
He wants his Pokémon cards back.
813
00:32:06,569 --> 00:32:07,417
Hey, I gotta go, Weasel.
814
00:32:07,417 --> 00:32:08,394
I'll talk to you later.
815
00:32:08,394 --> 00:32:09,906
See you in hell, heaven.
816
00:32:16,230 --> 00:32:17,614
- Sam was right.
817
00:32:17,614 --> 00:32:19,288
Get out while I was still ahead.
818
00:32:19,288 --> 00:32:21,560
End it all while the iron was still hot.
819
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:25,597
The Weiz is dead, and
has been for a long time.
820
00:32:25,597 --> 00:32:27,514
Now I must destroy him.
821
00:32:28,433 --> 00:32:31,389
Unfortunately, there'll
be one person in my life
822
00:32:31,389 --> 00:32:34,389
who will be devastated with my loss.
823
00:32:35,365 --> 00:32:38,325
Dear mom, sorry it had to end this way,
824
00:32:38,325 --> 00:32:41,031
but I couldn't handle the
pressures of Hollywood anymore.
825
00:32:41,031 --> 00:32:44,403
You did a great job raising
me and it's not your fault.
826
00:32:44,403 --> 00:32:47,184
I just want to go to a better place.
827
00:32:47,184 --> 00:32:49,851
Please don't be sad, love Pauly.
828
00:32:56,489 --> 00:32:57,822
- Pauly, keep it down.
829
00:32:57,822 --> 00:33:00,905
I'm trying to get some fucking sleep.
830
00:33:04,090 --> 00:33:06,166
- Hi, I'm Kurt Loder with MTV News.
831
00:33:06,166 --> 00:33:08,455
Comic and actor, Pauly Shore, know to fans
832
00:33:08,455 --> 00:33:10,706
as The Weasel, died in Los Angeles today
833
00:33:10,706 --> 00:33:13,123
of a self-inflicted
gunshot wound to the head.
834
00:33:13,123 --> 00:33:14,698
The news hit the entertainment world
835
00:33:14,698 --> 00:33:16,142
like a big, tragic hurricane.
836
00:33:16,142 --> 00:33:18,392
- He was amazing, you know.
837
00:33:19,277 --> 00:33:22,872
He was amazing, unlike any other comic.
838
00:33:22,872 --> 00:33:23,722
- Pauly was deep.
839
00:33:23,722 --> 00:33:27,232
He had like layer, layer, layer, layer.
840
00:33:27,232 --> 00:33:30,001
And that's something I
always look for as an artist.
841
00:33:30,001 --> 00:33:33,385
For another artist that's
got layers to them.
842
00:33:33,385 --> 00:33:36,968
And Pauly, he was bundled in layers.
843
00:33:36,968 --> 00:33:39,366
- Pauly was the first person
to bring me to the beach.
844
00:33:39,366 --> 00:33:41,736
I never would've got Baywatch
if it wasn't for Pauly.
845
00:33:41,736 --> 00:33:45,912
He taught me how to
mouth-to-mouth recucitate people
846
00:33:45,912 --> 00:33:48,419
and use defibulators, things like that.
847
00:33:48,419 --> 00:33:52,076
- He did have good weed
though, I gotta tell you that.
848
00:33:52,076 --> 00:33:54,917
Pauly Shore had fucking good weed.
849
00:33:54,917 --> 00:33:56,815
I blazed with him a couple of times.
850
00:33:56,815 --> 00:33:58,574
I smoked his whole sack up, then I bounced
851
00:33:58,574 --> 00:34:00,574
with his girls and shit.
852
00:34:03,109 --> 00:34:05,366
At least he was good for something.
853
00:34:05,366 --> 00:34:06,856
- Matt Pinfield has
been sampling reactions
854
00:34:06,856 --> 00:34:09,245
to Pauly Shore's suicide out
in the American Heartland.
855
00:34:09,245 --> 00:34:11,775
Not surprisingly, Pauly's biggest fanbase.
856
00:34:11,775 --> 00:34:12,840
- Thanks Kurt.
857
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,123
I'm in Paducah, Kentucky, at
the trailer park home of...
858
00:34:16,123 --> 00:34:17,200
What is your name sir?
859
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,086
- I'm Buck McChristian.
860
00:34:19,086 --> 00:34:21,503
I'm Pauly's number one fa-an.
861
00:34:22,523 --> 00:34:24,489
- How did the death of Pauly Shore affect
862
00:34:24,489 --> 00:34:26,656
you and your family today.
863
00:34:27,974 --> 00:34:30,974
- It's hard to put into words, Matt.
864
00:34:32,015 --> 00:34:34,932
Laughter is the music of the heart,
865
00:34:36,486 --> 00:34:39,460
and once that joy's been taken away,
866
00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:41,301
you're nothing but an empty shell.
867
00:34:41,301 --> 00:34:42,762
That's how I feel.
868
00:34:42,762 --> 00:34:44,187
- If you had to pick one Pauly Shore movie
869
00:34:44,187 --> 00:34:46,827
to be your favorite,
what would that one be?
870
00:34:46,827 --> 00:34:48,313
- It's hard.
871
00:34:48,313 --> 00:34:50,813
- "Son in Law."
872
00:34:53,084 --> 00:34:54,271
- That's the news for now.
873
00:34:54,271 --> 00:34:56,149
Stay tuned for more at 10
to the hour, every hour,
874
00:34:56,149 --> 00:34:57,149
here on MTV.
875
00:34:58,166 --> 00:34:59,291
- Cut!
876
00:34:59,291 --> 00:35:00,923
- Jesus, what a big deal
they're making out of this.
877
00:35:00,923 --> 00:35:01,881
Do you believe it?
878
00:35:01,881 --> 00:35:03,022
- The man was an icon.
879
00:35:03,022 --> 00:35:07,097
- Yeah well, maybe we
should all shoot ourselves.
880
00:35:07,097 --> 00:35:10,758
- I can't
believe he's not here anymore.
881
00:35:10,758 --> 00:35:12,343
- Yeah, I understand, Mrs. Shore.
882
00:35:12,343 --> 00:35:14,096
Nobody really understands the pain
883
00:35:14,096 --> 00:35:16,362
that a parent goes through
when they lose a child.
884
00:35:16,362 --> 00:35:17,833
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
885
00:35:17,833 --> 00:35:19,479
We will put you in touch with Dr. Kirby,
886
00:35:19,479 --> 00:35:21,807
who is out after-care program
specialist, and she can--
887
00:35:21,807 --> 00:35:23,020
- Oh, don't play it with me honey.
888
00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:24,461
Don't cry for me.
889
00:35:24,461 --> 00:35:26,875
You raise the kids around
a bunch of drunk comics
890
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:28,923
and now you're shocked
he took his fucking life?
891
00:35:28,923 --> 00:35:30,422
Save it, lady.
892
00:35:30,422 --> 00:35:32,772
Save it for the fucking room upstairs,
893
00:35:32,772 --> 00:35:33,914
not on the fucking big stage.
894
00:35:33,914 --> 00:35:36,164
You know what I mean, lady?
895
00:35:38,304 --> 00:35:40,342
- It's Pauly, isn't it?
896
00:35:40,342 --> 00:35:43,382
- Excuse me, you guys gonna
be putting long or what?
897
00:35:43,382 --> 00:35:44,215
I mean.
898
00:35:44,215 --> 00:35:45,048
- Oh, come on.
899
00:35:45,048 --> 00:35:46,644
Can't you that kid is obviously crying.
900
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,531
Don't be so insensitive.
901
00:35:48,531 --> 00:35:50,448
Hi honey, what's wrong?
902
00:35:51,913 --> 00:35:54,069
- My son's not taking Pauly
Shore's death too well.
903
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,646
- Your son's crying about that loser?
904
00:35:56,646 --> 00:35:58,696
Man, me and my friends
had a party the night
905
00:35:58,696 --> 00:35:59,543
that guy died, man.
906
00:35:59,543 --> 00:36:01,202
What a fake bullshit that was.
907
00:36:01,202 --> 00:36:02,864
All that, "Hey buddy."
908
00:36:02,864 --> 00:36:03,697
Weasel shit?
909
00:36:03,697 --> 00:36:04,891
That shit sucks, man.
910
00:36:04,891 --> 00:36:06,321
They've seen "Jury Duty," you saw it.
911
00:36:06,321 --> 00:36:08,071
That was a fucking piece of shit.
912
00:36:08,071 --> 00:36:10,395
I mean Jesus Christ, give me a break.
913
00:36:10,395 --> 00:36:11,641
- Take it back, pal.
914
00:36:11,641 --> 00:36:13,013
- Oh, take what back?
915
00:36:13,013 --> 00:36:13,925
- Take it back, pal!
916
00:36:13,925 --> 00:36:15,119
- Take what back, old man?
917
00:36:15,119 --> 00:36:16,129
Why don't you take you and your little
918
00:36:16,129 --> 00:36:17,828
crying-ass kid to the next
hole so me and my girl
919
00:36:17,828 --> 00:36:20,779
can play some golf up in
this motherfucker, right?
920
00:36:20,779 --> 00:36:22,028
Come on, man, let's play?
921
00:36:22,028 --> 00:36:23,344
Let's play some golf.
922
00:36:23,344 --> 00:36:25,344
- 'Cause I'm The Weasel!
923
00:36:26,206 --> 00:36:27,039
Woo!
924
00:36:27,953 --> 00:36:29,411
- Not bad, not bad.
925
00:36:29,411 --> 00:36:31,600
Way to go, Susie.
926
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,573
I got her a little bit of the moisture.
927
00:36:34,573 --> 00:36:39,216
Alright, now contestant number
two is a roofer from Corona.
928
00:36:39,216 --> 00:36:40,778
Stu.
929
00:36:40,778 --> 00:36:42,460
Stu Blouser.
930
00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,513
Stu wants everyone to know that he brought
931
00:36:44,513 --> 00:36:46,213
his lover here.
932
00:36:46,213 --> 00:36:48,322
- No, it's my brother dude.
- I mean his brother here.
933
00:36:48,322 --> 00:36:49,621
Is that him?
934
00:36:49,621 --> 00:36:51,296
- Do it for the family, bro!
935
00:36:51,296 --> 00:36:53,264
Come on, Eye of the Tiger, do it!
936
00:36:53,264 --> 00:36:55,764
- Get going and do your thing.
937
00:36:57,324 --> 00:36:58,680
- Hey, what's up?
938
00:36:58,680 --> 00:36:59,997
Check out those...
939
00:36:59,997 --> 00:37:01,787
Yeah, whoa, oh fuck.
940
00:37:01,787 --> 00:37:02,704
Fuck, guys!
941
00:37:08,387 --> 00:37:10,069
- It was nice meeting you.
942
00:37:10,069 --> 00:37:13,595
Okay, just one more stay if you need me.
943
00:37:13,595 --> 00:37:15,345
Never seen me before.
944
00:37:17,115 --> 00:37:18,609
- What, listen this is your fifth call.
945
00:37:18,609 --> 00:37:20,925
The towels will be there.
946
00:37:20,925 --> 00:37:22,008
Quit calling!
947
00:37:23,310 --> 00:37:24,801
What can I do for you?
948
00:37:24,801 --> 00:37:25,919
- Hey, aren't you that--
949
00:37:25,919 --> 00:37:26,902
- Yeah, yeah.
950
00:37:26,902 --> 00:37:28,879
- What happened to your hair?
951
00:37:28,879 --> 00:37:30,293
- I lost it.
952
00:37:30,293 --> 00:37:32,136
What can I do for you?
953
00:37:32,136 --> 00:37:34,317
- I'm just looking for a room.
954
00:37:34,317 --> 00:37:36,067
- Obviously, dipshit.
955
00:37:37,433 --> 00:37:41,785
- I'm sorry, I've just
been traveling all day.
956
00:37:41,785 --> 00:37:44,113
I'm just a little parched.
957
00:37:44,113 --> 00:37:45,606
- Alright, how long you staying with us?
958
00:37:45,606 --> 00:37:46,856
- About a week.
959
00:37:48,156 --> 00:37:49,505
- $39 a day.
960
00:37:49,505 --> 00:37:52,158
By the looks of you, I
want you to pay me now.
961
00:37:52,158 --> 00:37:54,075
- Alright, here you go.
962
00:37:59,094 --> 00:38:00,427
- Oh, $83, okay.
963
00:38:01,907 --> 00:38:02,740
- No here, here.
964
00:38:02,740 --> 00:38:03,573
- $84?
965
00:38:04,445 --> 00:38:06,796
What do you expect me to do for $84?
966
00:38:06,796 --> 00:38:07,879
- Rub my ass?
967
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:10,116
- Excuse me?
968
00:38:10,116 --> 00:38:11,404
- Sassafras.
969
00:38:11,404 --> 00:38:12,964
Sassafras.
970
00:38:12,964 --> 00:38:15,630
Hmm, it's a nice fragrance
you have here, Kato.
971
00:38:15,630 --> 00:38:17,270
Here we go now.
972
00:38:17,270 --> 00:38:20,603
I'm going to my room now, Kato was bald.
973
00:38:22,990 --> 00:38:24,919
- So you were all Pauly's girlfriends.
974
00:38:24,919 --> 00:38:26,407
- I was.
975
00:38:26,407 --> 00:38:29,468
I don't know about these bimbos.
976
00:38:29,468 --> 00:38:31,798
- Shut up, you stupid bitch.
977
00:38:31,798 --> 00:38:32,933
- Oh God.
978
00:38:32,933 --> 00:38:35,162
- You know what, when he
was banging you whores,
979
00:38:35,162 --> 00:38:37,295
he was thinking of me the whole time.
980
00:38:37,295 --> 00:38:38,519
- Oh, I don't think so.
981
00:38:38,519 --> 00:38:40,541
- Are you fucking hearing this shit?
982
00:38:40,541 --> 00:38:42,291
- You see these boobies?
983
00:38:42,291 --> 00:38:44,542
Pauly bought 'em for me.
984
00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:47,353
- You know what, Pauly
bought me mine also.
985
00:38:47,353 --> 00:38:49,270
- Oh, I don't think so.
986
00:38:51,405 --> 00:38:52,975
- Pauly got me pregnant.
987
00:38:54,762 --> 00:38:55,860
- You bitch!
988
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,755
- He was a genius who
died before his time.
989
00:39:10,755 --> 00:39:13,164
- Pauly was a comic genius.
990
00:39:13,164 --> 00:39:14,712
- News hit the entertainment world
991
00:39:14,712 --> 00:39:17,381
like a big, tragic hurricane.
992
00:39:17,381 --> 00:39:18,798
- He was amazing.
993
00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:25,694
- I've always been a Weasel believer.
994
00:39:44,578 --> 00:39:46,328
- I did it, I did it!
995
00:39:55,301 --> 00:39:56,725
Hollywood!
996
00:39:56,725 --> 00:39:58,475
Hollywood, what's up!
997
00:40:04,707 --> 00:40:05,540
- Goddamn.
998
00:40:17,947 --> 00:40:18,780
- Oh shit!
999
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,765
- What's the hold up, come on?
1000
00:40:26,765 --> 00:40:28,598
We don't have all day.
1001
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,722
- Look who it is, Tom Sizemore.
1002
00:40:41,722 --> 00:40:44,062
- No you idiot, it's Michael Madsen.
1003
00:40:44,062 --> 00:40:45,281
- What's the difference?
1004
00:40:45,281 --> 00:40:46,364
- Six inches.
1005
00:40:51,655 --> 00:40:53,572
- Love that, love that.
1006
00:40:56,810 --> 00:40:58,135
- Hey babe, where you going?
1007
00:40:58,135 --> 00:40:59,494
You got the wrong girl.
1008
00:40:59,494 --> 00:41:01,494
- What's the difference?
1009
00:41:05,710 --> 00:41:08,340
- Can you believe
I pulled this shit off?
1010
00:41:08,340 --> 00:41:10,728
Things turned out way
better than I expected.
1011
00:41:10,728 --> 00:41:14,476
News anchors calling me a comic genius?
1012
00:41:14,476 --> 00:41:17,918
Hot bitches fighting over me on Springer?
1013
00:41:17,918 --> 00:41:22,001
Dr. Dre telling everyone
he partied with me, bro!
1014
00:41:23,251 --> 00:41:24,084
I'm king!
1015
00:41:25,853 --> 00:41:27,660
Everyone's gonna want me back,
1016
00:41:27,660 --> 00:41:30,016
especially my dumb-ass girlfriend, Zoey.
1017
00:41:30,016 --> 00:41:33,366
She was fucking the Spanish
dude from Saved by the Bell!
1018
00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:34,875
Bachelor.
1019
00:41:34,875 --> 00:41:37,614
And Carrot Top, moving in my house?
1020
00:41:37,614 --> 00:41:40,750
I can't wait to beat your
ass at celebrity boxing.
1021
00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:43,500
See you in the ring clown boy-ee!
1022
00:41:44,704 --> 00:41:47,755
But the main thing is that my plan worked.
1023
00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:49,588
My plan really worked.
1024
00:41:51,729 --> 00:41:54,979
Pauly Shore, best actor of Tinsel Town.
1025
00:41:56,088 --> 00:41:58,005
See you at the Academy.
1026
00:42:34,511 --> 00:42:35,344
Holy shit.
1027
00:42:38,657 --> 00:42:40,407
- So why'd you do it?
1028
00:42:41,442 --> 00:42:42,719
- Huh?
1029
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:44,342
- I know it's you.
1030
00:42:44,342 --> 00:42:45,341
- What?
1031
00:42:45,341 --> 00:42:47,424
- I know it's you, Pauly.
1032
00:42:48,537 --> 00:42:50,007
- You do?
1033
00:42:50,007 --> 00:42:51,340
- Yeah I do.
1034
00:42:51,340 --> 00:42:52,914
So why'd you do it?
1035
00:42:52,914 --> 00:42:54,480
- Look, you wouldn't understand, okay?
1036
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,673
You're just a kid.
1037
00:42:55,673 --> 00:42:56,560
- Really?
1038
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:57,418
Try me.
1039
00:42:57,418 --> 00:42:58,843
- You don't know what it's like out there
1040
00:42:58,843 --> 00:43:00,846
in the real world, alright?
1041
00:43:00,846 --> 00:43:02,462
- You're probably right.
1042
00:43:02,462 --> 00:43:03,959
And what gives you the
right to mess with people
1043
00:43:03,959 --> 00:43:04,940
the way you did.
1044
00:43:04,940 --> 00:43:06,990
And what does that have to
do with me understanding?
1045
00:43:06,990 --> 00:43:09,377
- Look, I just want to
be appreciated a little,
1046
00:43:09,377 --> 00:43:10,483
that's all, okay?
1047
00:43:10,483 --> 00:43:12,553
- And you think that people
are gonna appreciate you now?
1048
00:43:12,553 --> 00:43:13,978
- Well yeah, look.
1049
00:43:13,978 --> 00:43:15,256
I'd say so, huh?
1050
00:43:15,256 --> 00:43:16,951
I'm on the cover on all these magaines.
1051
00:43:16,951 --> 00:43:18,856
I'd say I'm pretty much appreciated.
1052
00:43:18,856 --> 00:43:21,517
- Not when they find
out you're still alive.
1053
00:43:21,517 --> 00:43:22,821
- And how are they gonna do that?
1054
00:43:22,821 --> 00:43:23,963
- I'm gonna tell them.
1055
00:43:23,963 --> 00:43:24,966
- No you're not.
1056
00:43:24,966 --> 00:43:25,799
- Watch me.
1057
00:43:25,799 --> 00:43:26,632
- Hey, hey!
1058
00:43:26,632 --> 00:43:28,304
Get the fuck off me, bitch!
1059
00:43:28,304 --> 00:43:30,173
You think people hated
you, well they're really
1060
00:43:30,173 --> 00:43:31,853
gonna hate you now!
1061
00:43:31,853 --> 00:43:33,560
Pauly's still alive.
1062
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,515
- Pauly from the dead?
1063
00:43:35,515 --> 00:43:37,126
What the hell, you son of a bitch.
1064
00:43:37,126 --> 00:43:38,705
Pauly Shore is here.
1065
00:43:38,705 --> 00:43:41,760
Yeah, get me, get me, uh...
1066
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:42,992
Get the police down here.
1067
00:43:42,992 --> 00:43:44,700
- Give me the fucking phone!
1068
00:43:44,700 --> 00:43:48,078
- He's at the Charles Motel on
Hoboken and Clear Boulevard.
1069
00:43:48,078 --> 00:43:49,727
Get the fuck back!
1070
00:43:49,727 --> 00:43:51,474
Get off my counter.
1071
00:43:51,474 --> 00:43:52,891
- Dammit!
1072
00:43:54,056 --> 00:43:54,889
- Oh, ow!
1073
00:43:55,931 --> 00:43:57,088
Come here.
1074
00:43:57,088 --> 00:43:58,032
- Ah, shit.
1075
00:43:58,032 --> 00:43:59,159
Come back.
1076
00:43:59,159 --> 00:44:00,587
Come back here, you little bitch.
1077
00:44:00,587 --> 00:44:02,195
- You're over with, man!
1078
00:44:02,195 --> 00:44:03,776
Shitty actor!
1079
00:44:03,776 --> 00:44:05,859
Woohoo, I'm getting paid!
1080
00:44:14,195 --> 00:44:15,028
Get in, quick.
1081
00:44:15,028 --> 00:44:15,861
Get in, get in!
1082
00:44:15,861 --> 00:44:18,577
- Will you please tell me
what the fuck is going on!?
1083
00:44:18,577 --> 00:44:20,826
- I'll tell you after you
take me to my mom's house.
1084
00:44:20,826 --> 00:44:21,697
Pack my shit--
1085
00:44:21,697 --> 00:44:22,530
- No, no, no.
1086
00:44:22,530 --> 00:44:23,363
You tell me now, brother.
1087
00:44:23,363 --> 00:44:24,196
- Kirk, Kirk.
1088
00:44:24,196 --> 00:44:25,394
Get me to my mom's house
and get me there now!
1089
00:44:25,394 --> 00:44:30,348
Okay, I'll explain everything
later, I promise, okay?
1090
00:44:30,348 --> 00:44:31,861
Fuck, the cops are here.
1091
00:44:31,861 --> 00:44:33,376
The fucking cops are here.
1092
00:44:33,376 --> 00:44:34,892
What the fuck are you laughing at?
1093
00:44:34,892 --> 00:44:35,754
- What're you thinking?
1094
00:44:35,754 --> 00:44:37,006
- I don't know what I'm thinking, man.
1095
00:44:37,006 --> 00:44:37,902
I'm all fucked up.
1096
00:44:37,902 --> 00:44:38,770
Things are all fucked up now.
1097
00:44:38,770 --> 00:44:41,437
- It's room 19, go check it out.
1098
00:44:57,942 --> 00:44:58,928
- Hey, how you doing?
1099
00:44:58,928 --> 00:44:59,761
Yeah, was I a little loud?
1100
00:44:59,761 --> 00:45:01,246
- Listen, I know this is
gonna sound really weird
1101
00:45:01,246 --> 00:45:04,220
and strange, but is Pauly Shore here?
1102
00:45:04,220 --> 00:45:05,882
- Pauly who?
1103
00:45:05,882 --> 00:45:06,734
- Shore.
1104
00:45:06,734 --> 00:45:07,579
- The guy from "Bio-Dome?"
1105
00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:09,564
Funny, The Weasel guy?
1106
00:45:09,564 --> 00:45:10,696
He's dead.
1107
00:45:10,696 --> 00:45:13,423
I'm all by myself here.
1108
00:45:13,423 --> 00:45:16,452
I'm actually here for a funeral.
1109
00:45:16,452 --> 00:45:17,523
- Oh.
1110
00:45:17,523 --> 00:45:20,412
- My mom, she died the other day.
1111
00:45:20,412 --> 00:45:22,347
Got in a bus accident.
1112
00:45:22,347 --> 00:45:23,779
- Sorry to hear that.
1113
00:45:23,779 --> 00:45:25,209
Well if anything comes
up, please give us a call.
1114
00:45:25,209 --> 00:45:26,330
- Oh, definitely.
1115
00:45:26,330 --> 00:45:27,538
Yeah.
1116
00:45:27,538 --> 00:45:29,364
- Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
1117
00:45:29,364 --> 00:45:30,197
- Okay.
1118
00:45:30,197 --> 00:45:31,177
Nice meeting you.
1119
00:45:31,177 --> 00:45:32,010
- Have a good night.
1120
00:45:32,010 --> 00:45:32,843
- Bye-bye.
1121
00:45:32,843 --> 00:45:33,676
Cya.
1122
00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:37,667
Did you see that, Pauly?
1123
00:45:37,667 --> 00:45:39,371
I was there for you.
1124
00:45:39,371 --> 00:45:40,846
- Yeah, it was a close call.
1125
00:45:40,846 --> 00:45:42,213
- Maybe you can put down the gun,
1126
00:45:42,213 --> 00:45:44,609
seeing that I'm for the team.
1127
00:45:44,609 --> 00:45:46,960
- That was good, you did a good job.
1128
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,710
Just keep on packing.
1129
00:45:50,787 --> 00:45:54,029
- 671, I need a backup here now.
1130
00:45:54,029 --> 00:45:57,280
- Hey Kirk, did you get me that audition.
1131
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,361
- No, he cast it.
1132
00:45:59,361 --> 00:46:01,192
He thought you were dead.
1133
00:46:01,192 --> 00:46:03,109
- Really, who'd he get?
1134
00:46:04,127 --> 00:46:06,567
Hey Kirk, who did he get?
1135
00:46:06,567 --> 00:46:08,040
- Carrot Top.
1136
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,556
He went with Carrot Top.
1137
00:46:10,556 --> 00:46:12,117
- You know what, that's
fine, 'cause I never want
1138
00:46:12,117 --> 00:46:15,902
to be in a fucking Sean
Penn movie anyways.
1139
00:46:15,902 --> 00:46:17,726
- We have late breaking news.
1140
00:46:17,726 --> 00:46:20,356
Actor, comedian Pauly Shore is not dead.
1141
00:46:20,356 --> 00:46:24,131
I repeat, actor, comedian,
Pauly Shore is not dead.
1142
00:46:24,131 --> 00:46:26,909
We now go live to a
motel deep in the Valley
1143
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:29,664
where Tricia Miata is
standing by with the manager
1144
00:46:29,664 --> 00:46:31,313
of the motel, Kato Kaelin.
1145
00:46:31,313 --> 00:46:32,549
- I knew it was him.
1146
00:46:32,549 --> 00:46:34,484
- So you're saying Pauly Shore is in one
1147
00:46:34,484 --> 00:46:36,449
of your rooms right now?
1148
00:46:36,449 --> 00:46:37,976
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
1149
00:46:37,976 --> 00:46:39,483
- Who's Pauly Shore?
1150
00:46:39,483 --> 00:46:41,236
- He's alive!
1151
00:46:41,236 --> 00:46:42,714
- Yes he is!
1152
00:46:42,714 --> 00:46:44,460
- No, dipshit.
1153
00:46:44,460 --> 00:46:45,293
Pauly.
1154
00:46:47,980 --> 00:46:49,151
- Yeah, he's alive!
1155
00:46:49,151 --> 00:46:51,378
What the fuck, he faked the whole thing.
1156
00:46:51,378 --> 00:46:52,350
He's sicker than before.
1157
00:46:52,350 --> 00:46:53,737
Fucked up than me.
1158
00:46:53,737 --> 00:46:55,108
What, oh fuck no.
1159
00:46:55,108 --> 00:46:56,536
It's gonna be bigger than Downey.
1160
00:46:56,536 --> 00:46:57,935
Bigger than Downey!
1161
00:46:57,935 --> 00:46:59,602
- Who's Pauly Shore?
1162
00:47:01,038 --> 00:47:05,038
Oh yeah, he was on MTV
before I was born, right.
1163
00:47:20,369 --> 00:47:21,536
- I surrender.
1164
00:47:29,927 --> 00:47:32,779
- Alright, so you're beating
me four to one, okay?
1165
00:47:32,779 --> 00:47:34,451
I'm going to make it.
1166
00:47:34,451 --> 00:47:35,451
- Oh, Bucky.
1167
00:47:36,518 --> 00:47:37,648
- Alright, alright.
1168
00:47:37,648 --> 00:47:38,498
Hold the phone, folks.
1169
00:47:38,498 --> 00:47:40,296
- Two big fights, two big fights.
1170
00:47:40,296 --> 00:47:42,633
- Strange news out of Hollywood.
1171
00:47:42,633 --> 00:47:46,055
Down there, Kelly, they
said Pauly Shore is alive.
1172
00:47:46,055 --> 00:47:49,113
They're saying he faked his
death, some kind of sick joke.
1173
00:47:49,113 --> 00:47:50,507
I don't know what the
heck he was thinking,
1174
00:47:50,507 --> 00:47:51,564
but needless to say--
1175
00:47:51,564 --> 00:47:52,445
- Pauly's not dead.
1176
00:47:52,445 --> 00:47:56,094
- ... The jew's memorial
service has been canceled.
1177
00:47:56,094 --> 00:47:57,377
- Do me a favor,
- Is this a joke?
1178
00:47:57,377 --> 00:47:59,085
- If you see him,
kick his ass for me.
1179
00:47:59,085 --> 00:48:02,618
- Weasel done messed with the
wrong inbreeders now, man.
1180
00:48:02,618 --> 00:48:04,361
- You mean "inbreeders."
1181
00:48:04,361 --> 00:48:06,216
- Hey, shut up and go to your room.
1182
00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:08,500
- Daddy, I'm in my room.
1183
00:48:13,002 --> 00:48:13,837
- Shut up!
1184
00:48:13,837 --> 00:48:16,008
What's everybody, a fucking comedian?
1185
00:48:16,008 --> 00:48:17,377
Get me a beer.
1186
00:48:17,377 --> 00:48:18,874
- Fine.
1187
00:48:18,874 --> 00:48:20,409
- Hi, I'm Kurt Loder with MTV News.
1188
00:48:20,409 --> 00:48:23,015
MTV executives want to
apologize to viewers
1189
00:48:23,015 --> 00:48:25,171
for airing 48 hours of Pauly Shore.
1190
00:48:25,171 --> 00:48:27,233
To make it up to you,
we're gonna have Metallica
1191
00:48:27,233 --> 00:48:29,360
go out and play at all of your backyards.
1192
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:30,743
We go now to other entertainers to hear
1193
00:48:30,743 --> 00:48:33,161
their reactions to this
unconscionable scam.
1194
00:48:33,161 --> 00:48:34,786
- I did a movie with him.
1195
00:48:34,786 --> 00:48:36,282
I wish I hadn't done it.
1196
00:48:36,282 --> 00:48:37,737
That was my last movie I did.
1197
00:48:37,737 --> 00:48:39,767
That almost killed me.
1198
00:48:39,767 --> 00:48:40,866
Why?
1199
00:48:40,866 --> 00:48:42,153
'Cause he almost killed me, on the set.
1200
00:48:42,153 --> 00:48:44,405
Every, fucking, day.
1201
00:48:44,405 --> 00:48:46,857
Before a take, right before a take.
1202
00:48:46,857 --> 00:48:48,771
You know what he would do?
1203
00:48:48,771 --> 00:48:50,239
"Action!"
1204
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,783
He would reach over, reach
his hand down my pants
1205
00:48:52,783 --> 00:48:55,468
and pop two fingers up my asshole.
1206
00:48:55,468 --> 00:48:58,133
What kind of sick shit is that?
1207
00:48:58,133 --> 00:48:59,964
- But I didn't really know him, know him.
1208
00:48:59,964 --> 00:49:02,581
But he always had the nerve to ask me
1209
00:49:02,581 --> 00:49:04,234
for shit all over the place, man.
1210
00:49:04,234 --> 00:49:06,696
I felt like smacking him
around a couple times,
1211
00:49:06,696 --> 00:49:08,150
but he's a little guy.
1212
00:49:08,150 --> 00:49:09,679
- Pauly stole everybody's act.
1213
00:49:09,679 --> 00:49:13,120
He would steal the girls,
he'd steal the guys.
1214
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,857
You should've seen what
he did to my goat, man.
1215
00:49:15,857 --> 00:49:19,273
- For me, Pauly was like
a funny guy and whatever,
1216
00:49:19,273 --> 00:49:20,749
and he had his fans.
1217
00:49:20,749 --> 00:49:22,900
And then it wasn't enough.
1218
00:49:22,900 --> 00:49:24,680
It wasn't enough, he wanted more fans.
1219
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:26,257
He wanted bigger, and that's sad.
1220
00:49:26,257 --> 00:49:28,488
- And now the whole country's supposed
1221
00:49:28,488 --> 00:49:30,021
to fucking take it back?
1222
00:49:30,021 --> 00:49:31,541
No Pauly, fuck you.
1223
00:49:31,541 --> 00:49:32,663
Stay dead.
1224
00:49:32,663 --> 00:49:33,973
- That's the news for now.
1225
00:49:33,973 --> 00:49:36,682
Stay tuned for more at 10
to the hour here on MTV.
1226
00:49:36,682 --> 00:49:38,595
- Cut!
1227
00:49:38,595 --> 00:49:41,353
- You know, that was
actually a genius move.
1228
00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:43,708
- I think that was kinda rude.
1229
00:49:43,708 --> 00:49:44,876
- Whatever.
1230
00:49:44,876 --> 00:49:46,923
- I'm looking at his numbers right now.
1231
00:49:46,923 --> 00:49:49,899
Pauly's apperance on Court
TV rated 20 times higher
1232
00:49:49,899 --> 00:49:51,341
than his sitcom.
1233
00:49:51,341 --> 00:49:54,101
He was right, people do
want to see him as a victim.
1234
00:49:54,101 --> 00:49:55,878
That's what he always told me.
1235
00:49:55,878 --> 00:49:57,360
I should've listened to him.
1236
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:58,527
Oh well, oops.
1237
00:49:59,509 --> 00:50:00,342
Next.
1238
00:50:16,940 --> 00:50:18,150
- Pauly, no way!
1239
00:50:18,150 --> 00:50:19,120
No way, dude.
1240
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:20,140
- Tommy?
1241
00:50:20,140 --> 00:50:21,017
- How are you, man?
1242
00:50:21,017 --> 00:50:21,850
- Hey, what's up?
1243
00:50:21,850 --> 00:50:22,683
- It's good to see you, welcome.
1244
00:50:22,683 --> 00:50:23,761
You're one of us now.
1245
00:50:23,761 --> 00:50:25,642
I'd knew you'd be here eventually, man.
1246
00:50:25,642 --> 00:50:28,113
Don't worry, everything's
gonna be cool, bro.
1247
00:50:28,113 --> 00:50:30,887
It's gonna be the best thing
that ever happened to you.
1248
00:50:30,887 --> 00:50:32,754
Dude, I found Jesus in here.
1249
00:50:32,754 --> 00:50:33,587
- You did?
1250
00:50:33,587 --> 00:50:34,420
- Yeah.
1251
00:50:34,420 --> 00:50:35,259
- Well where is he?
1252
00:50:35,259 --> 00:50:36,425
- I'm right here, Pauly.
1253
00:50:36,425 --> 00:50:39,138
- Dude look, we made a tape.
1254
00:50:39,138 --> 00:50:40,837
Tommy and Jesus.
1255
00:50:40,837 --> 00:50:42,233
Check it out later.
1256
00:50:42,233 --> 00:50:44,026
- Oh great, I'll look at it.
1257
00:50:44,026 --> 00:50:45,331
Alright, well it was good seeing ya.
1258
00:50:45,331 --> 00:50:46,462
- Alright bro, take it easy man.
1259
00:50:46,462 --> 00:50:47,295
- Later.
1260
00:50:47,295 --> 00:50:48,128
- Peace.
1261
00:50:49,349 --> 00:50:51,123
- Heidi, Heidi, this is the guy!
1262
00:50:51,123 --> 00:50:52,938
The guy that looks like Richard Simmons.
1263
00:50:52,938 --> 00:50:55,909
The guy that paid me $83, you fuck!
1264
00:50:55,909 --> 00:50:56,742
- 84!
1265
00:50:58,348 --> 00:50:59,638
- Hey, Heidi.
1266
00:50:59,638 --> 00:51:01,484
- Long time, no see, Pauly.
1267
00:51:01,484 --> 00:51:03,426
That's why your career got all fucked up.
1268
00:51:03,426 --> 00:51:05,907
You're always cutting
corners, you cheap-ass jew.
1269
00:51:05,907 --> 00:51:07,116
- I was gonna pay you back.
1270
00:51:07,116 --> 00:51:08,418
- Pauly, $500.
1271
00:51:08,418 --> 00:51:10,696
I'm already low balling you, fucker.
1272
00:51:10,696 --> 00:51:12,251
- Get me to my cell.
1273
00:51:12,251 --> 00:51:13,635
Get me to my cell!
1274
00:51:16,564 --> 00:51:17,837
Jesus, who's gonna be next?
1275
00:51:17,837 --> 00:51:18,920
Todd Bridges.
1276
00:51:20,586 --> 00:51:24,624
- Oh great, I get the
white comedian devil.
1277
00:51:24,624 --> 00:51:25,946
Step on in.
1278
00:51:25,946 --> 00:51:27,849
Take the top bunk.
1279
00:51:27,849 --> 00:51:30,932
I don't want the devil underneath me.
1280
00:51:38,341 --> 00:51:41,039
- You shouldn't have betrayed me, Weasel.
1281
00:51:41,039 --> 00:51:41,872
Bang.
1282
00:51:43,637 --> 00:51:44,637
Listen, son.
1283
00:51:45,865 --> 00:51:48,185
One of these days you'll
understand when somebody
1284
00:51:48,185 --> 00:51:51,435
take your manhood, you go take it back.
1285
00:51:53,555 --> 00:51:55,235
- Bucky, wait a minute now.
1286
00:51:55,235 --> 00:51:56,477
Don't do this.
1287
00:51:56,477 --> 00:51:58,644
- Now you shut your mouth.
1288
00:52:00,267 --> 00:52:03,100
Nobody mess with a man's business.
1289
00:52:05,883 --> 00:52:09,657
- Alright then, you do what you have to.
1290
00:52:09,657 --> 00:52:12,263
You got out there and .
1291
00:52:12,263 --> 00:52:16,013
You shoot that Weasel
right between the eyes!
1292
00:52:22,042 --> 00:52:23,297
- Look, it's Pauly.
1293
00:52:23,297 --> 00:52:24,492
Can he sit with us, can he?
1294
00:52:24,492 --> 00:52:25,325
Can he sit with us, please?
1295
00:52:25,325 --> 00:52:26,560
- Of course he can.
1296
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:27,644
- Pauly.
1297
00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:29,644
Pauly, come and join us.
1298
00:52:30,772 --> 00:52:32,126
- Hi.
1299
00:52:32,126 --> 00:52:34,491
- Hi, my name is Lawrence.
1300
00:52:34,491 --> 00:52:36,850
And this is my friend, Pepe.
1301
00:52:36,850 --> 00:52:41,017
And of course we know who
you are, you little Weasel.
1302
00:52:43,447 --> 00:52:45,438
- I loved "Encino Man."
1303
00:52:45,438 --> 00:52:47,309
- You were so cute.
1304
00:52:47,309 --> 00:52:49,247
Any movie that buries an animal in a hole
1305
00:52:49,247 --> 00:52:53,131
and then digs out, makes me so happy.
1306
00:52:53,131 --> 00:52:54,881
Pepe's my Encino Man.
1307
00:53:01,063 --> 00:53:03,265
- What's Brendon Fraiser like?
1308
00:53:03,265 --> 00:53:05,191
- I loved him in "Tarzan."
1309
00:53:05,191 --> 00:53:07,266
- Nah, that was "George of the Jungle."
1310
00:53:07,266 --> 00:53:09,766
- He was swinging from a vine.
1311
00:53:15,139 --> 00:53:17,222
Oh please, he'll be back.
1312
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:26,256
- Pauly, tell them something
they've seen you in.
1313
00:53:26,256 --> 00:53:28,193
- I was in the Kid 'N Play movie.
1314
00:53:28,193 --> 00:53:30,413
- "House Party" 1 or 2?
1315
00:53:30,413 --> 00:53:32,239
- It was called "Class Act."
1316
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:33,378
- "Class Act?"
1317
00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:34,305
I seen that.
1318
00:53:34,305 --> 00:53:35,443
Which one was you?
1319
00:53:35,443 --> 00:53:37,033
- I was the guy in the
third act, remember?
1320
00:53:37,033 --> 00:53:38,465
At the anti-drug rally.
1321
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:40,658
I was in the pop bucket on the main stage.
1322
00:53:40,658 --> 00:53:43,730
I was tearing it up, I was doing this.
1323
00:53:43,730 --> 00:53:45,496
- Oh shit, that was you!?
1324
00:53:45,496 --> 00:53:46,478
- Remember?
1325
00:53:46,478 --> 00:53:47,311
- That was you?
1326
00:53:47,311 --> 00:53:48,144
That was you, my nigga.
1327
00:53:48,144 --> 00:53:49,278
- Yeah, yeah.
1328
00:53:49,278 --> 00:53:50,731
Alright, am I down now?
1329
00:53:50,731 --> 00:53:51,564
- Yeah, you down with us.
1330
00:53:51,564 --> 00:53:52,397
You can roll with us, my nigga.
1331
00:53:52,397 --> 00:53:53,530
- Alright, okay.
1332
00:53:53,530 --> 00:53:54,863
I'm your nigger.
1333
00:53:57,739 --> 00:53:59,516
- The fuck you call me, man?
1334
00:53:59,516 --> 00:54:00,517
- Nigger?
1335
00:54:00,517 --> 00:54:01,734
- The fuck you say to me, man?
1336
00:54:01,734 --> 00:54:02,942
- I just said what you said to me.
1337
00:54:02,942 --> 00:54:04,648
- Man you better take that ER off the end
1338
00:54:04,648 --> 00:54:05,608
of that shit, man.
1339
00:54:05,608 --> 00:54:06,704
That sound like that slave shit.
1340
00:54:06,704 --> 00:54:08,156
It's nig-gah, nigga.
1341
00:54:08,156 --> 00:54:08,989
- Nigga?
1342
00:54:08,989 --> 00:54:10,274
- Nig-gah!
- Nig-gah!
1343
00:54:10,274 --> 00:54:11,657
- Nig-gah.
1344
00:54:11,657 --> 00:54:12,531
- Nig-gah!
1345
00:54:12,531 --> 00:54:13,364
- Nig-gah!
1346
00:54:13,364 --> 00:54:14,197
- Nig-gah!
1347
00:54:14,197 --> 00:54:15,030
- Nig-gah!
1348
00:54:15,030 --> 00:54:16,324
- Nig-gah.
1349
00:54:16,324 --> 00:54:17,833
- That shit is tight, that's for sure.
1350
00:54:17,833 --> 00:54:19,155
What's mackin'?
1351
00:54:19,155 --> 00:54:20,299
Nigga!
1352
00:54:20,299 --> 00:54:21,943
- Yeah, nigga!
1353
00:54:21,943 --> 00:54:23,296
- Yeah, yeah.
1354
00:54:23,296 --> 00:54:24,129
- Alright.
1355
00:54:24,129 --> 00:54:25,238
- What's up, my nigga.
1356
00:54:25,238 --> 00:54:26,397
Come up here and fuck with us.
1357
00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:27,543
- Alright, see I'm down now.
1358
00:54:27,543 --> 00:54:29,876
I'm crackalicious tight, that's for sure!
1359
00:54:29,876 --> 00:54:31,060
Alright.
1360
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:33,039
- Tell me about some of
that fine as white Hollywood
1361
00:54:33,039 --> 00:54:35,606
hoes you be doing them movies with, man.
1362
00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:39,849
- You were in one of the
best movies of all-time.
1363
00:54:39,849 --> 00:54:42,610
"Happy Gilmore" was la bomba, bro.
1364
00:54:42,610 --> 00:54:44,737
- I wasn't in "Happy Gilmore."
1365
00:54:44,737 --> 00:54:46,608
That was Adam Sandler.
1366
00:54:46,608 --> 00:54:47,441
- Oh.
1367
00:54:48,340 --> 00:54:49,689
Which movies was you in?
1368
00:54:49,689 --> 00:54:51,714
- I was in "Jury Duty."
1369
00:54:51,714 --> 00:54:53,091
- That's the one with
the little chihuahua?
1370
00:54:53,091 --> 00:54:53,924
- Mm-hmm.
1371
00:54:53,924 --> 00:54:55,718
- That movie sucked, bro.
1372
00:54:55,718 --> 00:54:58,468
Adam Sandler, he's the bomb, man.
1373
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:02,541
"It's time for Hanukkah.
1374
00:55:02,541 --> 00:55:05,656
"I want to celebrate Hanukkah."
1375
00:55:05,656 --> 00:55:06,489
- Alright, alright.
1376
00:55:06,489 --> 00:55:07,662
Shit, shut up already.
1377
00:55:07,662 --> 00:55:08,897
- Do you remember that song?
1378
00:55:08,897 --> 00:55:10,312
- Yeah, I remember the fucking song.
1379
00:55:10,312 --> 00:55:11,514
You don't have to fucking sing it.
1380
00:55:11,514 --> 00:55:12,591
- I thought you were Adam Sandler, man.
1381
00:55:12,591 --> 00:55:15,304
- Well I'm not fucking
Adam Sandler, man, alright?
1382
00:55:15,304 --> 00:55:17,600
- "It's time for yamaka.
1383
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,022
"I want to celebrate Hannakah."
1384
00:55:36,391 --> 00:55:37,995
- Hi, welcome back to TRL.
1385
00:55:37,995 --> 00:55:39,500
It's Carson, we're gonna
move on with The Countdown
1386
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:40,343
in just a second.
1387
00:55:40,343 --> 00:55:43,796
But first, on the phone, the
newly incarcerated Pauly Shore.
1388
00:55:43,796 --> 00:55:44,629
Pauly?
1389
00:55:44,629 --> 00:55:45,848
- Yo, yo, yo Carson.
1390
00:55:45,848 --> 00:55:47,147
What's up, what's up, yo?
1391
00:55:47,147 --> 00:55:48,308
- Well you're lame.
1392
00:55:48,308 --> 00:55:49,726
Everybody here is booing you.
1393
00:55:49,726 --> 00:55:50,734
- Are you serious?
1394
00:55:50,734 --> 00:55:51,864
- I went to your funeral.
1395
00:55:51,864 --> 00:55:53,204
- Okay, well I'm alive, bro.
1396
00:55:53,204 --> 00:55:54,203
Aren't you happy about that?
1397
00:55:54,203 --> 00:55:55,259
- Hold on, hold on, Pauly.
1398
00:55:55,259 --> 00:55:57,391
Everybody was bawling, it was serious.
1399
00:55:57,391 --> 00:55:58,838
It's not cool at all, dude.
1400
00:55:58,838 --> 00:55:59,859
- Yeah I know, but I didn't think
1401
00:55:59,859 --> 00:56:00,946
it was gonna be such a big deal.
1402
00:56:00,946 --> 00:56:02,282
- What do you mean it's not a big deal?
1403
00:56:02,282 --> 00:56:03,490
You faked your death.
1404
00:56:03,490 --> 00:56:04,323
- So?
1405
00:56:04,323 --> 00:56:05,156
- I don't have time for this.
1406
00:56:05,156 --> 00:56:06,621
I have a new band I'm
gonna play you right now
1407
00:56:06,621 --> 00:56:07,554
that everybody's talking about.
1408
00:56:07,554 --> 00:56:08,553
They're called Limp Bizkit.
1409
00:56:08,553 --> 00:56:09,386
In fact--
1410
00:56:09,386 --> 00:56:10,219
- Oh, Limp Bizkit?
1411
00:56:10,219 --> 00:56:11,736
That's my boy, Fred from Limp Bizkit.
1412
00:56:11,736 --> 00:56:13,504
- You know Fred from Limp Bizkit.
1413
00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:14,853
- Uh, yeah.
1414
00:56:14,853 --> 00:56:15,882
- Yeah right, sure.
1415
00:56:15,882 --> 00:56:17,244
In fact we have Fred Durst.
1416
00:56:17,244 --> 00:56:18,093
He's the lead sing of this
new band, Limp Bizkit.
1417
00:56:18,093 --> 00:56:18,940
- No, no, no.
1418
00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:19,773
No, no, no.
1419
00:56:19,773 --> 00:56:20,606
Don't put him on.
1420
00:56:20,606 --> 00:56:21,439
- Hey, I'm here, man.
1421
00:56:21,439 --> 00:56:22,518
- What's up, dude?
1422
00:56:22,518 --> 00:56:23,622
- Hey, what's happening?
1423
00:56:23,622 --> 00:56:24,455
- Welcome to the show.
1424
00:56:24,455 --> 00:56:25,288
- What's up, Fred?
1425
00:56:25,288 --> 00:56:26,121
- Pauly, shut up.
1426
00:56:26,121 --> 00:56:26,954
We're talking to Pauly Shore.
1427
00:56:26,954 --> 00:56:27,787
- You're talking to Pauly Shore?
1428
00:56:27,787 --> 00:56:28,620
- Yeah.
1429
00:56:28,620 --> 00:56:29,474
- Pauly, can you hear me?
1430
00:56:29,474 --> 00:56:30,475
- Yo, what's up?
1431
00:56:30,475 --> 00:56:32,387
- Dude, you're a fucking punk!
1432
00:56:32,387 --> 00:56:34,337
You are a piece of crap, man.
1433
00:56:34,337 --> 00:56:36,094
I gave you a CD to give to Carson, man.
1434
00:56:36,094 --> 00:56:37,576
You fucking smashed it!
1435
00:56:37,576 --> 00:56:40,500
When I see you, I'm gonna
smash your fucking head!
1436
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:41,411
- Alright, alright.
1437
00:56:41,411 --> 00:56:42,885
I don't have time for this,
I don't have time for this.
1438
00:56:42,885 --> 00:56:44,138
- Yeah, well you're a punk, bitch.
1439
00:56:44,138 --> 00:56:45,310
Your band sucks dude.
- Fuck you man!
1440
00:56:45,310 --> 00:56:46,723
- And you suck!
- Fuck you!
1441
00:56:46,723 --> 00:56:47,556
- Fred, he's not--
1442
00:56:47,556 --> 00:56:50,274
- I'm smack you right in
your fucking head, dammit!
1443
00:56:50,274 --> 00:56:51,516
- He's not worth our time.
1444
00:56:51,516 --> 00:56:53,066
I wanna talk about your
band, congratulations
1445
00:56:53,066 --> 00:56:53,899
on the new found success, man.
1446
00:56:53,899 --> 00:56:54,753
- Thank you so much.
1447
00:56:54,753 --> 00:56:55,586
Thanks, man.
1448
00:56:56,570 --> 00:56:57,461
- Shut up, Pauly.
1449
00:56:57,461 --> 00:56:58,859
Here's brand new Limp Bizkit.
1450
00:56:58,859 --> 00:57:00,820
Check it out, by request.
1451
00:57:00,820 --> 00:57:02,070
- Fucking punk!
1452
00:57:09,557 --> 00:57:10,832
- Dang Pauly, jeez man.
1453
00:57:10,832 --> 00:57:12,350
- Well I don't want it to smell up.
1454
00:57:12,350 --> 00:57:14,063
- Yeah, well you'll
kill 'em with that too.
1455
00:57:14,063 --> 00:57:14,896
- Alright.
1456
00:57:14,896 --> 00:57:15,768
- You stinky bastard.
1457
00:57:15,768 --> 00:57:17,177
- What're you reading there?
1458
00:57:17,177 --> 00:57:19,986
- I'm reading the Kuran, man.
1459
00:57:19,986 --> 00:57:21,684
You gotta make that change, man.
1460
00:57:21,684 --> 00:57:25,495
Pauly, nobody wants to
see that old Weasel stuff.
1461
00:57:25,495 --> 00:57:27,407
It's all old, man, and played out.
1462
00:57:27,407 --> 00:57:28,824
Robin Williams used to
be on Mork and Mindy
1463
00:57:28,824 --> 00:57:30,808
going, nah, nah, nah,
nah, and he got an Oscar.
1464
00:57:30,808 --> 00:57:32,968
Tom Hanks used to be on
Bosom Buddies wearing
1465
00:57:32,968 --> 00:57:36,632
a dress with lipstick, and he
got two back to back Oscars.
1466
00:57:36,632 --> 00:57:38,347
- I can't believe I'm sitting in jail
1467
00:57:38,347 --> 00:57:42,396
taking career advice from Todd Bridges.
1468
00:57:42,396 --> 00:57:44,139
- Oh, and your career's better?
1469
00:57:44,139 --> 00:57:45,152
- Uh, yeah.
1470
00:57:45,152 --> 00:57:46,042
- Really?
1471
00:57:46,042 --> 00:57:47,369
- Uh-huh.
1472
00:57:47,369 --> 00:57:48,502
- Oh yeah, well when I get outta here,
1473
00:57:48,502 --> 00:57:50,364
I got two TV shows lined up.
1474
00:57:50,364 --> 00:57:51,387
- You do?
1475
00:57:51,387 --> 00:57:52,249
- Yep.
1476
00:57:52,249 --> 00:57:54,647
- Is there any parts in there for me?
1477
00:57:54,647 --> 00:57:58,109
Hey Todd, is there any parts
in your TV shows for me!?
1478
00:57:58,109 --> 00:58:00,405
- No Pauly, there are
no parts for you, man.
1479
00:58:00,405 --> 00:58:01,238
Sorry.
1480
00:58:08,099 --> 00:58:09,792
Just because you're in
here, don't be taking
1481
00:58:09,792 --> 00:58:10,994
it out on me.
1482
00:58:10,994 --> 00:58:12,267
- I'm sorry, man.
1483
00:58:12,267 --> 00:58:14,372
I just can't believe
I'm in jail, that's all.
1484
00:58:14,372 --> 00:58:15,810
You better start believing.
1485
00:58:15,810 --> 00:58:17,136
- Well what are you doing here?
1486
00:58:17,136 --> 00:58:18,398
- Well you think about why you got in here
1487
00:58:18,398 --> 00:58:19,981
in the first place.
1488
00:58:21,181 --> 00:58:23,648
I mean how did you fake your death?
1489
00:58:23,648 --> 00:58:25,148
- Oh, it was easy.
1490
00:58:28,369 --> 00:58:30,705
Yeah, it was all pretty easy.
1491
00:58:30,705 --> 00:58:33,058
I told the LA Coroner's
Office that I was researching
1492
00:58:33,058 --> 00:58:35,910
for a role in a movie on
how to play a dead guy.
1493
00:58:35,910 --> 00:58:38,407
I then snuck into his office and stole
1494
00:58:38,407 --> 00:58:40,744
they keys to the building.
1495
00:58:40,744 --> 00:58:43,984
Searching the obituary
section for my perfect match.
1496
00:58:43,984 --> 00:58:47,240
And there it was, David Levinson.
1497
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:49,657
5'10, brown hair, brown eyes.
1498
00:58:51,513 --> 00:58:54,513
I bought a gun, sex mags, and booze.
1499
00:58:57,814 --> 00:59:01,481
Then I scored some pills
from Corey Feldman.
1500
00:59:05,227 --> 00:59:08,916
So that night, I stole
the body, dragged him
1501
00:59:08,916 --> 00:59:12,017
up the stairs to my loft, and dressed him
1502
00:59:12,017 --> 00:59:14,017
to look exactly like me.
1503
00:59:19,579 --> 00:59:20,486
And kaboom.
1504
00:59:21,324 --> 00:59:23,609
The party was over.
1505
00:59:23,609 --> 00:59:26,144
Oh yeah, then I changed my identity.
1506
00:59:26,144 --> 00:59:28,099
Meet my alias: Ben.
1507
00:59:28,099 --> 00:59:29,544
Hi, how are ya?
1508
00:59:29,544 --> 00:59:31,127
Hi, my name is Ben.
1509
00:59:35,799 --> 00:59:37,759
- Why would you shoot
the guy in the face, man?
1510
00:59:37,759 --> 00:59:39,383
- The guy was already dead.
1511
00:59:39,383 --> 00:59:40,953
- You are sick.
1512
00:59:40,953 --> 00:59:44,826
- And you're my nigga,
nigga, nigga, nigga!
1513
00:59:48,897 --> 00:59:50,314
What's up, bitch?
1514
00:59:51,233 --> 00:59:52,867
What's wrong, Willis?
1515
00:59:52,867 --> 00:59:54,507
- You just don't get it, do you?
1516
00:59:54,507 --> 00:59:56,098
That's not you, Pauly.
1517
00:59:56,098 --> 00:59:57,525
You got two choices here.
1518
00:59:57,525 --> 01:00:00,119
I mean either you're
gonna learn from your time
1519
01:00:00,119 --> 01:00:01,415
in jail or not.
1520
01:00:01,415 --> 01:00:02,858
I mean it's your decision, man.
1521
01:00:02,858 --> 01:00:04,282
So what's it gonna be, Pauly?
1522
01:00:04,282 --> 01:00:07,115
You gonna change your past or not?
1523
01:00:09,784 --> 01:00:11,451
Nigga, nigga, nigga.
1524
01:00:19,592 --> 01:00:21,119
- Jump him, jump him!
1525
01:00:21,119 --> 01:00:23,479
Move it right there, jump him!
1526
01:00:23,479 --> 01:00:25,608
- Sam Ruben here with the
expose that has stunned--
1527
01:00:25,608 --> 01:00:26,468
- Jump him right there!
1528
01:00:26,468 --> 01:00:28,935
- ... personally and
outraged, and who is it?
1529
01:00:28,935 --> 01:00:31,317
The fact that a performer
who is as low-brow
1530
01:00:31,317 --> 01:00:34,095
and sophomoric as Pauly
Shore, tired to fake
1531
01:00:34,095 --> 01:00:38,196
the public sympathies by,
well, faking his own death,
1532
01:00:38,196 --> 01:00:39,923
is frankly disgusting.
1533
01:00:39,923 --> 01:00:43,014
This, friends, is a new low
in the annals of Hollywood
1534
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:46,243
Babylon, and believe you,
me, that is pretty low.
1535
01:00:46,243 --> 01:00:47,996
As I've stated time and time again,
1536
01:00:47,996 --> 01:00:50,683
Pauly Shore is a low-brow buffoon.
1537
01:00:50,683 --> 01:00:52,160
- Look at that shit, man.
1538
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:53,597
- This is Quin Colin from
Dickenson, North Dakota
1539
01:00:53,597 --> 01:00:55,067
and I want send this
out to Pauly in prison.
1540
01:00:55,067 --> 01:00:58,000
I hope some dumb-ass convict
makes you his bitch, Pauly.
1541
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:58,833
Woo!
1542
01:01:02,283 --> 01:01:03,710
- So Pauly gave each one of you
1543
01:01:03,710 --> 01:01:06,555
a sexually transmitted disease?
1544
01:01:06,555 --> 01:01:07,727
- Yes, me not.
1545
01:01:07,727 --> 01:01:10,369
- Not only did he give
me a yeast infection,
1546
01:01:10,369 --> 01:01:13,081
but I also have allergies.
1547
01:01:13,081 --> 01:01:16,998
Which I did not have
before I slept with Pauly.
1548
01:01:18,150 --> 01:01:19,733
Thanks a lot, jerk.
1549
01:01:20,749 --> 01:01:22,663
- What a bastard.
1550
01:01:22,663 --> 01:01:25,875
- Pauly, if you're watching me right now,
1551
01:01:25,875 --> 01:01:27,375
enjoy jail, buddy.
1552
01:01:36,823 --> 01:01:38,076
- Shut up!
1553
01:01:38,076 --> 01:01:41,326
- I don't want to see anybody get hurt.
1554
01:01:48,609 --> 01:01:51,026
- Let me call you back, baby.
1555
01:01:58,471 --> 01:01:59,950
- Cold.
1556
01:01:59,950 --> 01:02:01,079
- Hey man, hey.
1557
01:02:01,079 --> 01:02:02,091
Hey!
1558
01:02:02,091 --> 01:02:04,610
You gotta pay for that.
1559
01:02:04,610 --> 01:02:05,610
- I'm sorry.
1560
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:09,109
How's this?
1561
01:02:09,109 --> 01:02:10,302
- Come on, dude.
1562
01:02:10,302 --> 01:02:11,532
Man, Jesus.
1563
01:02:11,532 --> 01:02:12,663
Man, come on.
1564
01:02:12,663 --> 01:02:13,794
- Just call the cops.
1565
01:02:13,794 --> 01:02:14,760
- What do you mean call the cops, man?
1566
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:15,773
- Calm down.
1567
01:02:15,773 --> 01:02:17,594
- If I call the cops, they're
gonna come get you, dude.
1568
01:02:17,594 --> 01:02:18,761
Take the money, I don't--
1569
01:02:18,761 --> 01:02:20,264
- Be cool, be cool, be cool, alright?
1570
01:02:20,264 --> 01:02:22,177
You never been robbed before, have ya?
1571
01:02:22,177 --> 01:02:23,320
- Just put that gun down.
1572
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:24,761
- Call el cope.
1573
01:02:24,761 --> 01:02:26,094
El telephone-eh.
1574
01:02:29,121 --> 01:02:30,454
9-1-1.
1575
01:02:32,732 --> 01:02:34,482
Goddamn Californians.
1576
01:02:35,591 --> 01:02:36,872
- The cops...
1577
01:02:36,872 --> 01:02:38,408
I'll get them.
1578
01:02:38,408 --> 01:02:39,908
- I'll be outside.
1579
01:03:11,958 --> 01:03:13,373
- Lock that hick up!
1580
01:03:13,373 --> 01:03:14,500
- Yeah, yeah.
1581
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:15,620
- Anything you say, and
will, be used against you
1582
01:03:15,620 --> 01:03:16,581
in a court of law--
1583
01:03:16,581 --> 01:03:17,599
- I know, Bernie.
1584
01:03:17,599 --> 01:03:18,456
I know, Andy.
1585
01:03:18,456 --> 01:03:19,289
Let's roll.
1586
01:03:19,289 --> 01:03:20,122
- Get in.
1587
01:03:28,477 --> 01:03:29,810
- Whoa, hey, hey, hey!
1588
01:03:29,810 --> 01:03:31,143
Cell B, suicide.
1589
01:03:33,113 --> 01:03:34,363
Open this door!
1590
01:03:39,730 --> 01:03:40,563
You tripping, Pauly.
1591
01:03:40,563 --> 01:03:41,636
What's wrong with you, man?
1592
01:03:41,636 --> 01:03:42,944
Get this dude out of here.
1593
01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:43,854
He's going crazy.
1594
01:03:43,854 --> 01:03:44,938
Trying to kill yourself up in my cell.
1595
01:03:44,938 --> 01:03:46,516
Why you put him in my cell?
1596
01:03:46,516 --> 01:03:47,923
Get him outta here, man.
1597
01:03:51,652 --> 01:03:53,069
- No, I can't go!
1598
01:03:59,466 --> 01:04:00,299
No!
1599
01:04:02,020 --> 01:04:02,853
Assholes!
1600
01:04:07,946 --> 01:04:10,430
- Pauly, it's Adam Sandler.
1601
01:04:10,430 --> 01:04:12,518
You know, the guy that
keeps you up all night.
1602
01:04:12,518 --> 01:04:14,492
The guy that makes 20 mil a movie
1603
01:04:14,492 --> 01:04:16,222
when you can't get one made.
1604
01:04:16,222 --> 01:04:17,666
Woo-hoo .
1605
01:04:17,666 --> 01:04:18,765
- You know what?
1606
01:04:18,765 --> 01:04:19,598
Fuck you, Sandler.
1607
01:04:19,598 --> 01:04:20,695
Fuck you, how about that?
1608
01:04:20,695 --> 01:04:21,902
- "Fuck you, Sandler.
1609
01:04:21,902 --> 01:04:22,779
"Fuck you."
1610
01:04:22,779 --> 01:04:23,967
Ah, horseshit.
1611
01:04:23,967 --> 01:04:25,195
- You know, I don't get
what's the difference
1612
01:04:25,195 --> 01:04:26,318
between me and you, bro.
1613
01:04:26,318 --> 01:04:27,151
Huh?
1614
01:04:27,151 --> 01:04:27,984
- Exactly.
1615
01:04:27,984 --> 01:04:28,955
What is the difference?
1616
01:04:28,955 --> 01:04:30,310
There is no difference, you dumbass.
1617
01:04:30,310 --> 01:04:31,825
- You know when I get outta here
1618
01:04:31,825 --> 01:04:34,095
I'm gonna beat the shit outta you!
1619
01:04:34,095 --> 01:04:36,522
- Well I'll be waiting, Pauly.
1620
01:04:36,522 --> 01:04:40,139
But just remember: it's "Billy Madison,"
1621
01:04:40,139 --> 01:04:42,546
not "Buddy Madison."
1622
01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:46,656
It's the "The Wedding Singer,"
not "The Weasel Singer."
1623
01:04:46,656 --> 01:04:49,060
You'll also be The Weasel.
1624
01:04:49,060 --> 01:04:51,520
You'll always be The Weasel.
1625
01:05:04,071 --> 01:05:07,549
- Jesus Christ, what the
fuck happened to you?
1626
01:05:07,549 --> 01:05:09,492
- You tell me what happened to me, okay?
1627
01:05:09,492 --> 01:05:10,980
This is your fault.
1628
01:05:10,980 --> 01:05:13,314
You're the one who told me to kill myself.
1629
01:05:13,314 --> 01:05:14,807
- Yeah, you know what?
1630
01:05:14,807 --> 01:05:15,664
You're right.
1631
01:05:15,664 --> 01:05:18,433
I said, "Kill yourself,"
not "Fake your death,"
1632
01:05:18,433 --> 01:05:19,896
you fucking moron.
1633
01:05:19,896 --> 01:05:21,281
God, look at you.
1634
01:05:21,281 --> 01:05:23,197
I was just kidding.
1635
01:05:23,197 --> 01:05:24,526
I didn't think you'd do it.
1636
01:05:24,526 --> 01:05:26,831
- So now what am I supposed to do?
1637
01:05:26,831 --> 01:05:27,973
- You tell me.
1638
01:05:27,973 --> 01:05:29,835
Do you wanna live or do you wanna die?
1639
01:05:29,835 --> 01:05:30,829
- I dunno.
1640
01:05:30,829 --> 01:05:32,599
- Come on, I don't have all fucking day.
1641
01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:34,451
Let's go you little bastard!
1642
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:37,627
- I want to live.
1643
01:05:37,627 --> 01:05:38,601
- I can't hear you.
1644
01:05:38,601 --> 01:05:40,313
- I said, "I want to live" Sam, okay?
1645
01:05:40,313 --> 01:05:42,023
I want to fucking live, alright?
1646
01:05:42,023 --> 01:05:43,715
- As Pauly, or as The Weasel?
1647
01:05:43,715 --> 01:05:45,242
- As The Weasel.
1648
01:05:45,242 --> 01:05:47,599
- No you dumb shit, as Pauly.
1649
01:05:47,599 --> 01:05:49,921
- But everybody knows me as The Weasel.
1650
01:05:49,921 --> 01:05:52,350
- Who gives a fuck what
everybody knows you as?
1651
01:05:52,350 --> 01:05:53,882
That's their problem.
1652
01:05:53,882 --> 01:05:55,605
You gotta start showing people the guy
1653
01:05:55,605 --> 01:05:57,502
that your friends and your family know.
1654
01:05:57,502 --> 01:05:59,293
The guy that used to cook me burgers
1655
01:05:59,293 --> 01:06:01,058
at The Comedy Store in West Wood.
1656
01:06:01,058 --> 01:06:02,311
That guy.
1657
01:06:02,311 --> 01:06:04,424
The Weasel's just a
defense mechanism to keep
1658
01:06:04,424 --> 01:06:06,207
the whole world at arm's length.
1659
01:06:06,207 --> 01:06:08,198
- Like your scream?
1660
01:06:08,198 --> 01:06:10,115
- Yeah, like my scream.
1661
01:06:12,111 --> 01:06:13,522
But enough about me, listen.
1662
01:06:13,522 --> 01:06:14,827
This is what you gotta do.
1663
01:06:14,827 --> 01:06:18,722
Starting tomorrow, you're
gonna learn how to act.
1664
01:06:18,722 --> 01:06:20,391
- You're joking.
1665
01:06:20,391 --> 01:06:21,957
- You're gonna be
one of the best actors
1666
01:06:21,957 --> 01:06:24,207
that Hollywood's ever seen.
1667
01:06:25,439 --> 01:06:26,967
- What?
1668
01:06:26,967 --> 01:06:28,366
- Look, you've seen the darkside.
1669
01:06:28,366 --> 01:06:29,948
You've felt the pain.
1670
01:06:29,948 --> 01:06:31,789
Welcome to the real world.
1671
01:06:31,789 --> 01:06:33,092
I already talked to all your friends,
1672
01:06:33,092 --> 01:06:34,387
they're gonna help you.
1673
01:06:34,387 --> 01:06:36,946
Todd, Lawrence, Pepe, all of them.
1674
01:06:39,928 --> 01:06:41,113
Who is it?
1675
01:06:41,113 --> 01:06:42,640
Ah shit, it's Marilyn.
1676
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:44,262
She wants her dildo back.
1677
01:06:46,474 --> 01:06:48,793
I'll always be watching
out for you, Pauly.
1678
01:06:48,793 --> 01:06:50,421
I'll always be looking out for you.
1679
01:06:50,421 --> 01:06:51,671
Take care, man.
1680
01:07:15,076 --> 01:07:15,909
- Okay.
1681
01:07:22,169 --> 01:07:24,252
Shakespeare, Shakespeare.
1682
01:07:32,531 --> 01:07:34,882
- Here's one, Pauly.
1683
01:07:34,882 --> 01:07:35,882
Come on.
1684
01:07:35,882 --> 01:07:37,059
You can do it, you can do it.
1685
01:07:37,059 --> 01:07:37,892
Come on.
1686
01:07:47,542 --> 01:07:49,489
- And then it's verified
in the greens of our--
1687
01:07:49,489 --> 01:07:51,153
- No, no, no.
1688
01:07:51,153 --> 01:07:54,320
- Oh Hamlet, our dear brother's death!
1689
01:07:55,808 --> 01:07:58,610
- Yet on through, I have
that dear brother death
1690
01:07:58,610 --> 01:07:59,640
and O the--
1691
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:00,810
- Make it stop!
1692
01:08:00,810 --> 01:08:04,977
- ... and I think that with
the reason that the day...
1693
01:08:09,889 --> 01:08:10,722
- This.
1694
01:08:14,189 --> 01:08:15,464
Oh God, not that.
1695
01:08:15,464 --> 01:08:16,297
Up here.
1696
01:08:16,297 --> 01:08:17,130
- Okay, okay.
1697
01:08:17,130 --> 01:08:18,130
- Okay, now.
1698
01:08:22,763 --> 01:08:23,596
- Whoa!
1699
01:08:27,406 --> 01:08:30,519
- And then he will despair
and then the behavior
1700
01:08:30,519 --> 01:08:33,186
and the law in some sort of way.
1701
01:08:40,577 --> 01:08:42,068
He should know the way!
1702
01:08:45,687 --> 01:08:46,686
- There you go, yeah.
1703
01:08:46,686 --> 01:08:48,346
Now you're getting it, man.
1704
01:08:48,346 --> 01:08:49,596
There you, now.
1705
01:08:57,561 --> 01:08:59,311
- Holy, holy, hombre!
1706
01:09:23,058 --> 01:09:24,183
- Thank you, guys.
1707
01:09:27,789 --> 01:09:29,551
I can't believe I did it.
1708
01:09:29,551 --> 01:09:32,293
I'm back on top once
again, only this time,
1709
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:34,102
it's with them.
1710
01:09:34,102 --> 01:09:36,381
You know, it's weird how
sometimes a bad thing in life
1711
01:09:36,381 --> 01:09:39,798
can actually turn out to be a good thing.
1712
01:09:57,950 --> 01:10:00,591
All the world's a stage, and men and women
1713
01:10:00,591 --> 01:10:03,212
are merley players, and one man,
1714
01:10:03,212 --> 01:10:05,234
in his time, plays many parts.
1715
01:10:05,234 --> 01:10:09,921
At first, the infant, then
the whining schoolboy,
1716
01:10:09,921 --> 01:10:11,680
then the lover.
1717
01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:13,348
- I'm gonna kill you, Weasel.
1718
01:10:14,386 --> 01:10:15,469
- Shit, fuck.
1719
01:10:16,997 --> 01:10:20,374
- I drove all the way from
Kentucky for this moment.
1720
01:10:20,374 --> 01:10:21,661
- What's your name?
1721
01:10:21,661 --> 01:10:22,548
- Bucky.
1722
01:10:22,548 --> 01:10:23,423
- Bucky?
1723
01:10:23,423 --> 01:10:25,535
- I'm your number one fan, man.
1724
01:10:25,535 --> 01:10:26,964
Or I was.
1725
01:10:26,964 --> 01:10:28,004
- What do you want?
1726
01:10:28,004 --> 01:10:29,279
An autograph, a headshot, what?
1727
01:10:29,279 --> 01:10:30,474
- Oh yeah, yeah.
1728
01:10:30,474 --> 01:10:32,553
Autograph'll be real nice.
1729
01:10:32,553 --> 01:10:35,935
I'll have it written in your blood.
1730
01:10:35,935 --> 01:10:39,908
I have watched "Son in Law" 270 times.
1731
01:10:39,908 --> 01:10:40,741
- Huh?
1732
01:10:40,741 --> 01:10:42,506
- Watched all your MTV specials.
1733
01:10:42,506 --> 01:10:44,601
Hell, I even sat through
"Phantom of the Mall."
1734
01:10:44,601 --> 01:10:45,698
- You did?
1735
01:10:45,698 --> 01:10:47,115
- And I liked it.
1736
01:10:48,461 --> 01:10:49,941
- Well if you like me so much,
1737
01:10:49,941 --> 01:10:51,293
why are you trying to kill me?
1738
01:10:51,293 --> 01:10:53,770
- 'Cause you humiliated me, man.
1739
01:10:53,770 --> 01:10:55,042
You fucked with me.
1740
01:10:55,042 --> 01:10:56,361
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1741
01:10:56,361 --> 01:10:59,672
- When I heard that you
was dead, it was like
1742
01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:02,755
my whole world was torn away from me.
1743
01:11:04,039 --> 01:11:06,440
But then I find out it's all a joke.
1744
01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:08,466
All a big funny fucking ha-ha.
1745
01:11:08,466 --> 01:11:10,450
Well I didn't find it too funny.
1746
01:11:10,450 --> 01:11:13,074
What's all this Shapespeare
shit you was doing?
1747
01:11:13,074 --> 01:11:16,294
You ain't an actor, you're The Weasel.
1748
01:11:16,294 --> 01:11:18,930
- They weren't gonna do "Encino Man 2."
1749
01:11:18,930 --> 01:11:23,804
No studio was going to finance
"Son in Law" the sequel.
1750
01:11:23,804 --> 01:11:26,054
- What're you saying to me?
1751
01:11:29,782 --> 01:11:33,615
You're telling me that
The Weasel wasn't real?
1752
01:11:35,087 --> 01:11:36,737
It's all just a big money making scheme
1753
01:11:36,737 --> 01:11:38,940
for some corporation?
1754
01:11:38,940 --> 01:11:40,923
- Just like Ronald McDonald.
1755
01:11:40,923 --> 01:11:43,448
- You mean Ronald McDonald
ain't really a clown?
1756
01:11:43,448 --> 01:11:44,717
- No.
1757
01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:47,250
- Well I'mma hafta kill
that motherfucker too.
1758
01:11:50,986 --> 01:11:52,781
- We just couldn't keep the ratings up
1759
01:11:52,781 --> 01:11:53,845
on the Fox show.
1760
01:11:53,845 --> 01:11:55,649
- That's because you weren't the Wiez.
1761
01:11:55,649 --> 01:11:58,535
You're some spoiled
rich kid from Brentwood,
1762
01:11:58,535 --> 01:12:00,296
and that shit ain't funny.
1763
01:12:00,296 --> 01:12:01,475
Hell, I even know that.
1764
01:12:01,475 --> 01:12:04,577
- Please don't kill me, please!
1765
01:12:04,577 --> 01:12:06,412
Please don't kill me!
1766
01:12:06,412 --> 01:12:07,843
I'm just...
1767
01:12:07,843 --> 01:12:09,093
I'm just Pauly!
1768
01:12:19,332 --> 01:12:21,082
It's okay, it's okay.
1769
01:12:29,336 --> 01:12:32,383
- I can never hurt you, man.
1770
01:12:32,383 --> 01:12:36,050
Now Ronald McDonald's
another fucking story.
1771
01:12:38,441 --> 01:12:42,108
I'll just have to watch
"Son in Law," again.
1772
01:12:45,108 --> 01:12:46,191
- Hey, Bucky?
1773
01:12:49,387 --> 01:12:50,887
Thanks for caring.
1774
01:12:56,275 --> 01:12:59,525
And thanks for being my number one fan.
1775
01:13:08,827 --> 01:13:10,309
- Make the movies.
1776
01:13:10,309 --> 01:13:12,559
Just one more time, please?
1777
01:13:15,195 --> 01:13:17,028
- I'm gonna act, okay?
1778
01:13:23,422 --> 01:13:25,005
Oh, one more thing.
1779
01:13:27,605 --> 01:13:29,522
No homies in the juice.
1780
01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:33,564
What movie's that from?
1781
01:13:33,564 --> 01:13:35,008
- "Encino Man."
1782
01:13:35,008 --> 01:13:36,758
- Say hi to Judgeito.
1783
01:13:38,584 --> 01:13:39,795
- "Jury Duty."
1784
01:13:39,795 --> 01:13:40,962
- Crazy, boys.
1785
01:13:42,411 --> 01:13:43,695
- "In the Army Now."
1786
01:13:43,695 --> 01:13:45,392
- Snabido, snabido.
1787
01:13:45,392 --> 01:13:47,655
- "Bio-Dome," "Bio-Dome."
1788
01:13:47,655 --> 01:13:48,738
- Imbreeders!
1789
01:13:49,896 --> 01:13:51,146
- "Son in Law!"
1790
01:13:52,816 --> 01:13:54,066
- "Son in Law!"
1791
01:14:07,691 --> 01:14:09,941
- You did that just for me.
1792
01:14:11,282 --> 01:14:12,282
- Thank you.
1793
01:14:13,809 --> 01:14:17,976
- I feel like the last person
that ever heard Elvis sing.
1794
01:14:22,434 --> 01:14:23,949
- Think I got everything.
1795
01:14:23,949 --> 01:14:24,825
- Yep.
1796
01:14:24,825 --> 01:14:27,991
- Richard Gere can have
Tibit, Alanis can have India,
1797
01:14:27,991 --> 01:14:31,081
but guys like you, me, Tommy, and Downy?
1798
01:14:31,081 --> 01:14:33,904
We found ourselves right
here in LA County, man.
1799
01:14:33,904 --> 01:14:35,549
- That's right, but I
think Downy's traveling
1800
01:14:35,549 --> 01:14:37,108
to one of those foreign places.
1801
01:14:37,108 --> 01:14:38,034
- Yeah.
1802
01:14:38,034 --> 01:14:39,834
Hey, I just wanna tell you,
Todd, that I've realized
1803
01:14:39,834 --> 01:14:42,004
a lot of things here in jail.
1804
01:14:42,004 --> 01:14:44,615
Number one: The Weasel
will always be part of me,
1805
01:14:44,615 --> 01:14:47,316
just like Willis will
always be part of you.
1806
01:14:47,316 --> 01:14:51,944
And number two: All the
girls that I had sex with,
1807
01:14:51,944 --> 01:14:54,822
they didn't want to have sex
with Paul Montgomery Shore,
1808
01:14:54,822 --> 01:14:57,112
the little Jewish boy from Beverly Hills,
1809
01:14:57,112 --> 01:15:00,259
they wanted to fuck The Weasel.
1810
01:15:00,259 --> 01:15:02,609
Anyways, thanks for everything, man.
1811
01:15:02,609 --> 01:15:04,305
- Yeah, but remember that was your choice.
1812
01:15:04,305 --> 01:15:05,962
Hey, next time you see
Sam, you tell him to tell
1813
01:15:05,962 --> 01:15:07,806
Red Foxx to come see me again, okay?
1814
01:15:07,806 --> 01:15:08,850
- Why?
1815
01:15:08,850 --> 01:15:10,456
- 'Cause that's my guardian angel.
1816
01:15:10,456 --> 01:15:12,706
- Well here, then take him.
1817
01:15:13,757 --> 01:15:15,424
- Hey, thanks Pauly.
1818
01:15:16,537 --> 01:15:17,644
Alright, brother.
1819
01:15:17,644 --> 01:15:18,806
- Alright, take care man.
1820
01:15:18,806 --> 01:15:19,639
- Bye.
1821
01:15:23,158 --> 01:15:26,395
- Always locking a brother up.
1822
01:15:26,395 --> 01:15:28,413
- I also realized
that Hollywood isn't such
1823
01:15:28,413 --> 01:15:30,004
a bad place after all.
1824
01:15:30,004 --> 01:15:32,695
In fact, it's probably
one of the most beautiful
1825
01:15:32,695 --> 01:15:34,677
places in the whole world.
1826
01:15:34,677 --> 01:15:36,496
People come out here
from all over the world
1827
01:15:36,496 --> 01:15:38,454
to try and get into show business.
1828
01:15:38,454 --> 01:15:41,532
Not just because they love to
sing, dance, act, or direct.
1829
01:15:41,532 --> 01:15:43,889
Everyone wants to be accepted.
1830
01:15:43,889 --> 01:15:47,472
In other words, we all
just wanna be loved.
1831
01:15:58,431 --> 01:15:59,766
- Ashley, come on!
1832
01:15:59,766 --> 01:16:00,913
Goddammit.
1833
01:16:00,913 --> 01:16:01,912
- What?
1834
01:16:01,912 --> 01:16:02,788
- Pauly's getting out of prison.
1835
01:16:02,788 --> 01:16:03,621
We're his ride.
1836
01:16:03,621 --> 01:16:04,464
We gotta go, let's go.
1837
01:16:04,464 --> 01:16:05,343
- Oh yeah.
1838
01:16:05,343 --> 01:16:06,260
- Let's go!
1839
01:16:08,244 --> 01:16:09,867
She's fucking retarded.
1840
01:16:09,867 --> 01:16:11,284
But she's pretty.
1841
01:16:12,795 --> 01:16:14,628
- Pauly Shore is a free man!
1842
01:16:14,628 --> 01:16:16,260
Hi everyone, I'm Nancy O'Dell.
1843
01:16:16,260 --> 01:16:17,584
- Hi Nacy, hi folks, I'm Pat O'Brien,
1844
01:16:17,584 --> 01:16:20,744
and let's get right to work
with a story gripping Hollywood.
1845
01:16:20,744 --> 01:16:23,505
Actor, comedian, Pauly
Shore is out of jail.
1846
01:16:23,505 --> 01:16:25,204
- Oh shit, is that my nigga?
1847
01:16:25,204 --> 01:16:26,314
Did he get out?
1848
01:16:26,314 --> 01:16:27,187
- Yeah, that's him.
1849
01:16:27,187 --> 01:16:28,020
Look at Pauly!
1850
01:16:28,020 --> 01:16:28,853
That's Pauly Shore.
1851
01:16:28,853 --> 01:16:29,891
- They let my nigga outta jail.
1852
01:16:29,891 --> 01:16:30,724
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
1853
01:16:30,724 --> 01:16:31,557
- Shit.
1854
01:16:31,557 --> 01:16:34,375
- Every network, every studio
head wants a piece of Pauly.
1855
01:16:34,375 --> 01:16:35,788
And guess what?
1856
01:16:35,788 --> 01:16:37,461
Access Hollywood's got him.
1857
01:16:37,461 --> 01:16:39,014
- That's my nigga right there.
1858
01:16:39,014 --> 01:16:41,095
Fresh out with a doubt.
1859
01:16:41,095 --> 01:16:43,347
You can't keep a real nigga down!
1860
01:16:43,347 --> 01:16:44,444
- You know what I'm saying?
1861
01:16:44,444 --> 01:16:47,344
- Fucking Downy
and his fucking ass,
1862
01:16:47,344 --> 01:16:48,663
you son of a bitch.
1863
01:16:48,663 --> 01:16:50,389
Pauly, the real deal.
1864
01:16:50,389 --> 01:16:52,506
- But was this a case
of art imitating life,
1865
01:16:52,506 --> 01:16:55,491
or Pauly Shore imitating
some pretty bad art?
1866
01:16:55,491 --> 01:16:58,441
You see, Shore was more
popular dead than alive.
1867
01:16:58,441 --> 01:17:00,940
Since his simulated
suicide, it seems everybody
1868
01:17:00,940 --> 01:17:02,691
wanted a piece of Pauly.
1869
01:17:02,691 --> 01:17:06,440
The question remains: is
Shore a shrewd shyster,
1870
01:17:06,440 --> 01:17:08,467
or a genuine genius?
1871
01:17:08,467 --> 01:17:10,747
- See the thing about Pauly
Shore is he's a genius.
1872
01:17:10,747 --> 01:17:12,759
The guy was always one
step ahead of Hollywood.
1873
01:17:12,759 --> 01:17:14,367
I mean look at "Meet the Parents."
1874
01:17:14,367 --> 01:17:15,826
It's a blatant rip-off of "Son in Law."
1875
01:17:15,826 --> 01:17:19,356
Guy just never got his due
because he was too good.
1876
01:17:19,356 --> 01:17:20,547
You know what I mean?
1877
01:17:20,547 --> 01:17:23,371
But now everybody sees that.
1878
01:17:23,371 --> 01:17:24,704
- Where's Pauly?
1879
01:17:25,673 --> 01:17:26,506
What?
1880
01:17:29,621 --> 01:17:30,919
- Speech, speech.
1881
01:17:30,919 --> 01:17:31,919
Come on, go.
1882
01:17:39,936 --> 01:17:42,853
- You're the best, you're the best.
1883
01:17:45,559 --> 01:17:48,559
- It's because you weren't the Wiez!
1884
01:17:51,746 --> 01:17:53,913
- I say it's a can't miss.
1885
01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:14,519
- Okay, you got it?
1886
01:18:14,519 --> 01:18:16,311
- Yeah man, I just wanna say thanks man.
1887
01:18:16,311 --> 01:18:17,313
- Don't touch me.
1888
01:18:17,313 --> 01:18:18,431
- No, that was great.
1889
01:18:18,431 --> 01:18:19,459
I just want to say thanks.
1890
01:18:19,459 --> 01:18:22,064
- Don't touch me, give me the pictures.
1891
01:18:22,064 --> 01:18:23,223
The negative in here?
1892
01:18:23,223 --> 01:18:24,225
- They're in there.
1893
01:18:24,225 --> 01:18:25,505
- Good, 'cause if I see
them showing up anywhere,
1894
01:18:25,505 --> 01:18:27,388
your ass is fucking grass!
1895
01:18:27,388 --> 01:18:28,627
- Okay, I just wanna say--
1896
01:18:28,627 --> 01:18:29,960
- Get off!
1897
01:18:31,024 --> 01:18:32,436
- Man...
1898
01:18:32,436 --> 01:18:33,924
They get so mad about it.
1899
01:18:33,924 --> 01:18:37,174
I guess that's the way the business is.
1900
01:18:39,093 --> 01:18:43,260
Last one there, and now I can
start working on the sequel.
1901
01:18:55,721 --> 01:18:57,669
And we're about to order, fuck...
1902
01:18:57,669 --> 01:18:59,074
Trevorina.
1903
01:18:59,074 --> 01:19:00,241
And uh, and...
1904
01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:02,709
Trevorina.
1905
01:19:02,709 --> 01:19:03,572
And action.
1906
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,405
Nigga.
1907
01:19:05,898 --> 01:19:07,822
Ha, I was trying to get you.
1908
01:19:07,822 --> 01:19:10,783
- I remember something the
late Robin Williams said,
1909
01:19:10,783 --> 01:19:12,339
"Pauly Who?"
1910
01:19:12,339 --> 01:19:14,724
- Pauly Shore needed to die.
1911
01:19:14,724 --> 01:19:16,929
I know a lot of people said that.
1912
01:19:16,929 --> 01:19:19,744
- Thanksgiving, he didn't
eat any of the turkey.
1913
01:19:19,744 --> 01:19:23,911
He had about 15 e-tablets up his asshole.
1914
01:19:23,911 --> 01:19:26,494
"Happy Thanksgiving everybody,"
1915
01:19:27,750 --> 01:19:31,250
is what he said as popped the last one in.
1916
01:19:35,313 --> 01:19:37,168
- It's like the Snopp Dogg song.
1917
01:19:37,168 --> 01:19:39,258
It's like this, and like
that, and like this,
1918
01:19:39,258 --> 01:19:40,480
and you know?
1919
01:19:40,480 --> 01:19:43,038
I mean that's what I think
of when I think of Pauly.
1920
01:19:43,038 --> 01:19:46,621
- I've been
selling oranges, holmes!
1921
01:19:53,109 --> 01:19:54,567
- Dude, fuck rehab bro.
1922
01:19:54,567 --> 01:19:55,555
The only way to...
1923
01:19:55,555 --> 01:19:56,671
Sorry.
1924
01:19:56,671 --> 01:19:58,014
- That's okay.
1925
01:19:58,014 --> 01:19:59,478
- Dude, fuck rehab.
1926
01:19:59,478 --> 01:20:02,289
The only way to the top is with...
1927
01:20:04,097 --> 01:20:05,350
- Hey cool, man.
1928
01:20:05,350 --> 01:20:08,383
Before we go, here's a
demo of our band, stained.
1929
01:20:08,383 --> 01:20:10,093
I stuttered, we'll do it again.
1930
01:20:10,093 --> 01:20:12,663
- I thought this was a
fucking Eminem interview?
1931
01:20:12,663 --> 01:20:14,740
Laurie, what you got me doing here?
1932
01:20:14,740 --> 01:20:18,407
- Drop the soap,
you little bastard!
1933
01:20:20,914 --> 01:20:23,914
- There's a lot of talking going on.
1934
01:20:24,761 --> 01:20:27,759
This is the adlib, not the adlib.
1935
01:20:27,759 --> 01:20:31,328
This is when he says at
the end of the killing
1936
01:20:31,328 --> 01:20:34,425
of me scene says, what is it?
1937
01:20:34,425 --> 01:20:36,725
- It's a wild track for the prison scene.
1938
01:20:36,725 --> 01:20:38,627
- Right, there you go.
1939
01:20:38,627 --> 01:20:40,002
- Hey Pauly?
1940
01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:41,291
Tom Sizemore.
1941
01:20:41,291 --> 01:20:43,900
Thanks for sweet message.
1942
01:20:43,900 --> 01:20:46,648
I had an incredibly good time that day.
1943
01:20:46,648 --> 01:20:48,404
You're a natural-born director.
1944
01:20:48,404 --> 01:20:53,020
You really are, and thanks
for involving me, okay?
1945
01:20:53,020 --> 01:20:55,901
And when it comes time to
do press, if you need me
1946
01:20:55,901 --> 01:20:58,695
to say some kind things, don't hesitate
1947
01:20:58,695 --> 01:21:01,585
to ask me to do anything
to help your movie, okay?
1948
01:21:01,585 --> 01:21:02,585
I mean that.
1949
01:21:04,326 --> 01:21:06,156
- And we love you, Hollywood!
1950
01:21:06,156 --> 01:21:09,239
Thank you for coming out, good night!
1951
01:21:19,337 --> 01:21:22,038
- Congratulations
on the movie, Vern.
1952
01:21:22,038 --> 01:21:22,871
- Thanks.
1953
01:21:22,871 --> 01:21:23,704
- Woohoo.
1954
01:21:23,704 --> 01:21:24,537
- Cheers.
1955
01:21:24,537 --> 01:21:25,644
- Don't you think we should go get Pauly?
1956
01:21:25,644 --> 01:21:26,653
- Aww, fuck him.
1957
01:21:26,653 --> 01:21:28,610
There's not enough of
you girls to go 'round.
1958
01:21:28,610 --> 01:21:30,559
- Yeah, we got you, Vern.
1959
01:21:30,559 --> 01:21:32,228
- Yeah, baby.
1960
01:21:32,228 --> 01:21:33,728
- Congratulations.
1961
01:21:35,750 --> 01:21:38,138
- Knock it off with the pinky shit.
1962
01:21:38,138 --> 01:21:39,663
Where's Duke?
1963
01:21:39,663 --> 01:21:41,006
Duke!
1964
01:21:41,006 --> 01:21:42,314
Come here, come here, come here.
1965
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:43,647
- Woohoo!
125837
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