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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,840 Here's to you, baby. 2 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:49,260 Ten years of misery. 3 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,600 Sláinte. 4 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,650 You never did like taking it on the face. 5 00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,780 Well how's that now, huh? 6 00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,780 Come to think of it, 7 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,650 I think it's high time 8 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:06,490 I cashed in on all those years 9 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:10,040 you never tended to my needs. 10 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:14,500 Whine, whine, whine. Me, me, me. 11 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:16,630 Well what about me? 12 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,290 Huh? 13 00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:20,710 I'm thinking it's time 14 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,470 for a little bit of dead head. 15 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,720 You won't mind. Much. 16 00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:30,400 Shit. 17 00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:34,690 Jesus and mother of God! 18 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:36,350 Fuck. 19 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,240 Let go of my meat! 20 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,150 Let go of my meat! 21 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,640 No. No. No. No. No. No. 22 00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:18,270 No! You bitch! 23 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,240 You bit off my bean bag! 24 00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:26,830 Fucker! 25 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,410 Yeah? 26 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,580 Balls! He is? 27 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,450 Yeah, I'll be there, I'll be there, yeah. 28 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,710 Jesus wept! Yeah, fine! 29 00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:50,590 I'm late for work. 30 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,160 Will you stop touching that. 31 00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,800 Honey, what is... What was the station again? 32 00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:36,220 I can never remember the number. 33 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,470 I don't know. 34 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,560 You're supposed to know 35 00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:42,360 'cause I can never remember, so it's your job to remember. 36 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,480 Well, remind me why we're bringing our baby 37 00:04:44,570 --> 00:04:46,700 to an all-night splatter fest again. 38 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:51,200 Are you serious? I wish that I had parents as cool as. 39 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:54,170 He's gonna be so prepared for life in modern America, 40 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,710 after this evening of films. 41 00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:57,590 I know. 42 00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,210 Yeah. 43 00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,630 I love it when the old man 44 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,610 pumps golden moldies in the channel after the all-nighters. 45 00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,630 You know, I'm totally puts me in the mood. 46 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,990 Yeah, look what happened the last time Otis Redding was on. 47 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,130 Uh-huh? Uh-huh. 48 00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,720 Do you want a brother? 49 00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:14,310 Little brother, daddy. 50 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,480 All right, Tobe. Six degrees, Kevin Bacon, Bela Lugosi. 51 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,720 Hit it! 52 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,640 Oh, no. 53 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,890 Oh man, this should be cake and ice cream for you. 54 00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:24,690 Oh, come on. Forget it, I... I... 55 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,660 I guess this encyclopedia is human after all. 56 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:30,200 So what movie is everyone freaking out about? 57 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,150 'Cause I'm going into the. 58 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,160 Well, I haven't seen any of them. Apparently, Mr. K., 59 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,660 has the only prints of these things in existence. 60 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:41,380 It's like ultra rare Holy Grail shit. Right, Tobes? 61 00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,580 Yeah, this being the last hurrah and all is the best time as ever 62 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:47,340 to unleash the terror, the blood, the boobs! 63 00:05:47,420 --> 00:05:48,920 More blood! More boobs! 64 00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:51,220 Hurray for boobs. 65 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,340 What was it like working here, I mean, 66 00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:55,340 Hog heaven, right? 67 00:05:55,390 --> 00:05:57,930 No, nerdgasm. I saw the movie Hungry Hungry Hippos 68 00:05:58,020 --> 00:05:59,730 13 times! 69 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:02,600 I see no nutritional value in that whatsoever. 70 00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:04,360 Hey, you asked! And besides, 71 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,940 it gave you an excuse to almost talk 72 00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:07,450 to a certain concession employee. 73 00:06:07,530 --> 00:06:09,030 Wait. Almost? 74 00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,110 So you haven't even like... 75 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,750 No. Okay? We haven't even. 76 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,900 We're taking it slow. 77 00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:17,870 Mm-hm. And by "slow" he means turn the other way and walk fast. 78 00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:19,780 So you haven't even talked to her? 79 00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,620 It's like this. 80 00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:24,970 A girl like Desi is never gonna go out with me 81 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,880 so I figure, why not hold on to the hope 82 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,420 instead of suffer the disappointment? 83 00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:29,800 You should at least talk to her 84 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,420 before you go back to school. 85 00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,460 At least then you could make a piece. 86 00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:35,130 Yeah, look who's talking potsy! 87 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,970 Well, what the fuck does that mean? 88 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,310 Oh, nothing. 89 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:40,100 Yeah, nothing, just... 90 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:42,110 Look, Kevin Bacon and Elvis Presley. 91 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,820 Let's do it. 92 00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:47,480 Admit two. 93 00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:48,990 There you go, kids. 94 00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:51,490 Just pull up to the front row spot 95 00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:54,570 and tune your tunes to 106. 1 and enjoy. 96 00:06:56,410 --> 00:07:01,370 It's gonna be a hell of a night! 97 00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,090 Yeah, thanks. 98 00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:08,430 "It's gonna be a hell of a night!" Fuck you, get real. 99 00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,590 I'm so glad to see this fucking dump decimated. 100 00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:12,210 Jesus, man. Lighten up. 101 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:13,550 Oh, I'll lighten up tomorrow 102 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,520 when the bulldozzers gas up. 103 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,100 So remind me why we're here instead of Schneideman's. 104 00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:19,640 Because I pulled the short straw 105 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,350 and got stuck with baby sitting duty. 106 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,480 9:00 AM this is another fine Blumps location. 107 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,280 Until then, I gotta keep an eye on the old man 108 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,630 make sure he doesn't pull any shenanigans. 109 00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:30,480 Well, Mr. Sourpuss. 110 00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:32,950 Excuse me, that's Junior VP at Marketing Sourpuss. 111 00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:35,160 Okay, Mr. VP Poopy Pants, 112 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,820 I promise to make tonight worth your while. 113 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,920 Oh. 114 00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:48,800 Show starts in five minutes. 115 00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,990 I don't know, Orson. 116 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:12,990 Looks like last licks for us old bones. 117 00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:17,080 I'm gonna miss all this. 118 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,330 This was my favorite part. 119 00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:23,960 The preparation and anticipation. 120 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:28,170 The threading, splicing the reels, 121 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,750 and always racing the clock. 122 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,550 Betty and I, we never missed a single listing. 123 00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:38,170 In the gate and don't be late. 124 00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,220 You taught me that. 125 00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,440 My rosebud. 126 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,400 Well, who needs to be on time now 127 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,280 when you've got demanding video 128 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,280 and high definition crap? 129 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,950 You can get anytime at home. 130 00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:59,250 Who needs the old night out under the stars 131 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,400 with some movie magic anymore? 132 00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:04,450 That's what you were all about. Right? 133 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:08,550 Magic tricks and slight of hand. 134 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,800 Nobody cares for magic anymore. 135 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,050 Nope. 136 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,390 The world gets smaller. 137 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:18,470 And soul mates fade away 138 00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:22,050 like old Kodak film stock. 139 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,690 But nothing's gonna stop me 140 00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:26,230 from sharing a bit of that magic tonight! 141 00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:28,940 Right? 142 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:32,730 But, much like anything else... 143 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,570 Now she's gone. 144 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:47,420 Now this place is pretty much gone. 145 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:52,300 And like tomorrow, 146 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,720 I may be gone, too. 147 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,600 Fade to black. Right? 148 00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:02,840 Or maybe a smash cut! 149 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:07,150 Jumping Jesus! Jehoshaphat Floyd. 150 00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:09,320 Heart hopping Christ, you're late, man. 151 00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:11,310 Sorry, boss, I've been, uh, 152 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,030 I've been dealing with some... 153 00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,700 Family matters. 154 00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:17,870 Well, there's no need for excuses now, 155 00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,270 I'm already done threading the first film. 156 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,860 Good God, man! 157 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:25,370 What have you been sticking your dick into? 158 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,890 You look like hell on a hand grenade. 159 00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:29,070 I've been under the weather. 160 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,120 Look, why don't you just go check in with concessions, 161 00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:33,710 see if Desi needs some help? 162 00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:35,460 Sounds good. Okay. 163 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,040 And for Christ's sake, man, 164 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:40,380 clean yourself up! 165 00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:48,810 It's show-time! 166 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,570 Well, hell, ell, ell, ello, kiddies! 167 00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:01,570 It's your old friend, Uncle Cecil, 168 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:04,370 welcoming you to the final, 169 00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:07,580 ghoulish night of murder 170 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:11,200 and mayhem! 171 00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:14,510 Yes, my ghouls and gals, 172 00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:19,460 it's time for Chillerama! 173 00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:28,050 Sit back, poke a hole in the bottom of your pop-corn bag, 174 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:31,150 cuddle up to the closest corpse 175 00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:34,190 and prepare yourself 176 00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:36,810 for this evening's 177 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:42,200 first squishy selection. 178 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:48,790 Wadzilla! 179 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:26,740 Excuse me, Dr. Weems. 180 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,740 Miles Munson's lab work is ready. 181 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,710 Tell him I'll be right in. 182 00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:32,420 Okay. 183 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:36,090 I never heard of a sperm bank 184 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,620 turning anyone down before. 185 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,210 You can imagine my nervousness 186 00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:41,210 when they suggested I see a urologist. 187 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,050 It isn't anything serious, is it? 188 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,420 Life-threatening, no. 189 00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:46,760 As a matter of concern, yes. 190 00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:50,930 Have a look in there, Miles. 191 00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:56,430 Wow! Look at them all go. 192 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,490 That is an example or normal sperm. 193 00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:04,660 And that is your sperm. 194 00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,540 Yikes. 195 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,360 That doesn't look good. 196 00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:18,700 Miles, there's a new medication I'd like to suggest you try. 197 00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:21,620 It's called Spermupermine. 198 00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:25,540 Now, it can't increase the sperm you generate 199 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,460 but what it can do, 200 00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:30,180 is strengthen the sperm you already produce. 201 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,880 Spermupermine? 202 00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:35,890 Yes. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, 203 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,520 but it is available to test subjects. 204 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,600 Luckily for you, I'm on the research board. 205 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,650 Thank you, doctor. 206 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,160 Good morning, kids! 207 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,490 It's the Captain Fatso Show. 208 00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:53,740 And I'm Captain Fatso! 209 00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:59,840 Well, ahoy there, Captain Fatso, 210 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,550 say, are those gumdrops I smell? 211 00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:05,590 Look kids, it's Dudley Dingleberry! 212 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,500 I'm starving! 213 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,880 I haven't even had breakfast yet! 214 00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:17,010 Let me tell you about the new sponsor! 215 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:33,490 Peanut Mush is now enhanced 216 00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:35,710 with new flavored chemicals. 217 00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:40,290 Makes your breakfast even more scrump-dilly-dumptious! 218 00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:42,290 Sounds de-lish. 219 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,550 Morning, Miles. 220 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:51,750 Uh, morning, Larry. 221 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,010 Hey, you still single, buddy? 222 00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:54,760 Unfortunately. 223 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,850 My wife's college roommate just got divorced 224 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,640 and moved to town. Perfect for you. 225 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,450 You should take her to dinner tomorrow night. 226 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,200 Absolutely not. No way, no more blind dates. 227 00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:04,110 Not after last time. 228 00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,570 Come on, she's perfect. You should just do this, okay? 229 00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,910 She's cute. She's not looking for anything serious. 230 00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,060 Just a little companionship. You know? 231 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,680 Oh. 232 00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:45,930 Allow me. 233 00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,280 Oh. 234 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,630 Miles, are you okay? 235 00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,460 Come here. 236 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:10,330 I just had a horrible shooting pain in my balls. 237 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:12,380 You think you sat on your balls when you sat down? 238 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:14,040 I don't know. 239 00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:16,550 Oh! You twisted the veins in your testicles. 240 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,020 Classic vein twist. 241 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,350 Okay. Okay. 242 00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:21,840 I'm good. 243 00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:22,930 I'm so... 244 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:33,320 Okay, onto the consolidation of our acquisitions 245 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,860 of General Textile Industries 246 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,240 and MBT Plastics. 247 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,780 For a brief overview, 248 00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:39,540 we'd like to introduce to you all 249 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,500 the newest member of our department, 250 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,540 Andie Sumner. 251 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,000 Hello, gentlemen. 252 00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,710 Oh! 253 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,670 I'm such a klutzz. 254 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,430 Oh. 255 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,350 Are you okay? 256 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,850 Someone, help him up. 257 00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:15,730 No, I'm all right. I'm all right. 258 00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:17,570 I'm all right. 259 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,200 Ugh. I just need a little bit of air. 260 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,700 I'm sorry. Excuse me for one second. 261 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,210 I don't know if it has anything to do 262 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,880 with the pills that you gave me, 263 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,340 but every time I get the least bit aroused 264 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:32,050 I get the most intense shooting pain 265 00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:34,050 through my testicles. 266 00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:37,290 Tsk. Well, there's only one way to find out. 267 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,430 What in God's name... 268 00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:54,310 Miles? Are you all right? 269 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,060 I think so. 270 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,400 Give me the sample, Miles, 271 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,300 so we can get it under the microscope right away. 272 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:07,880 I don't think you're gonna need a microscope. 273 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,160 Oh! 274 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:19,920 My God. 275 00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:21,640 What's wrong with me? 276 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,850 It's impossible, but it would appear 277 00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:26,890 that the Spermupermine has had an adverse effect on your system. 278 00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,930 It's not only strengthening your spermatozzoa 279 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,520 but it's causing it to grow 280 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,350 to gargantuan proportions. 281 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:37,110 And traditionally, when a man experiences arousal, 282 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,940 his testicles produce more sperm. 283 00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:41,330 But in your case, however, 284 00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:43,120 when you get turned on, 285 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,460 the one sperm you do have 286 00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,700 gets huge. 287 00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:56,300 I'm gonna send this to the National Institute of Health 288 00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:58,890 in Washington for analysis. 289 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,880 Discontinue use of the medication immediately. 290 00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:06,880 If you feel your sperm enlarging again 291 00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,220 you get it out of your system right away. 292 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:10,310 Get it out of my system? 293 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,640 Jerk off! Fast! 294 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,370 Hi. 295 00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,260 You must be Miles. 296 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,340 I'm Louise. 297 00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:51,430 No. 298 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,980 Oh, my God! What happened? Are you... 299 00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:54,850 Are you okay? 300 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,610 May I use your bathroom just for a minute, please? 301 00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,100 Of course. 302 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,480 Come right in. 303 00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:02,700 Right down the hall. 304 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,240 I'll just be one second and I'll be back. 305 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,610 Oh. 306 00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:25,050 Molly, just what kind of a nut did you and Larry set me up with? 307 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:28,590 Hon, Louise says that Miles showed up at her door, 308 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,810 grabbed his crotch and started screaming. Wha... 309 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:33,720 He's... He's in the bathroom now, 310 00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:36,070 he's making weird... I can hear him. 311 00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:38,570 Louise, Miles twisted a vein in one of his testicles. 312 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,650 Yeah, it hurts him sometimes. 313 00:20:40,730 --> 00:20:42,210 He feels bad about it. Don't make a fuss over it. 314 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,620 He's a good guy. 315 00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,940 Okay. That is enough out of you. 316 00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,610 I'm so sorry. No, it's gonna be okay. 317 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,080 He's just a brute. 318 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,580 That guy is such an asshole. 319 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:52,990 I can hear him. 320 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,420 The poor guy... 321 00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:56,920 Now I just feel sorry for him. 322 00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:11,390 She hung up. 323 00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:03,650 Miles? 324 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,900 Are you all right in there? 325 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:16,910 Ugh! 326 00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:30,010 That was a close one. 327 00:22:32,390 --> 00:22:35,480 Oh, no! 328 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,980 Miles. 329 00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,610 I'm getting very concerned. 330 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,720 It sounds like something broke in there. 331 00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:43,350 You don't happen to have a plunger, do you? 332 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,400 Oh. 333 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,440 Just what in the hell happened in here? 334 00:22:48,530 --> 00:22:50,950 I'm on a new medication. 335 00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,030 Oh! 336 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,200 Oh, my God! 337 00:23:00,210 --> 00:23:01,880 It's getting bigger! 338 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,380 Run! 339 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,890 No! 340 00:23:10,930 --> 00:23:12,760 Run! 341 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,090 Ugh. 342 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,900 Oh! 343 00:24:15,110 --> 00:24:17,280 Um. 344 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,030 I can explain that. 345 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,370 He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but... 346 00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:25,210 "Nice" just don't count in the bedroom 347 00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:27,660 when you got a baby gherkin between your legs. 348 00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:29,460 Come on, Stewie. Make a poo poo for momma, 349 00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:32,090 Come on, be a good boy. I'm not exaggerating. 350 00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:33,790 The guy's hung like Howdy Doody, 351 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,090 and that's being generous. 352 00:24:36,970 --> 00:24:39,310 Of course I'm gonna see him again. 353 00:24:39,350 --> 00:24:41,060 Did you see his car? It's a Cadillac. 354 00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:43,140 No, that sizze was more than acceptable... 355 00:24:44,690 --> 00:24:46,570 Stewie! Will you please shut up? 356 00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:50,360 I'm sorry. He flunked obedience school. The mongoloid. 357 00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:09,290 Why does it smell like Ajax? 358 00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:11,720 Stewie! Ow! You almost dislocated my... 359 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,350 Stewie? 360 00:25:19,850 --> 00:25:21,850 I have to call you back, mom. 361 00:25:21,930 --> 00:25:24,260 Stewie just escaped from his leash again. 362 00:25:26,690 --> 00:25:28,230 There you are. 363 00:25:29,980 --> 00:25:31,560 You furry fugitive, you. 364 00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:33,070 You'd better get your little butt 365 00:25:33,150 --> 00:25:34,520 over here before... 366 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,280 You almost gave me a heart attack. 367 00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:53,730 Me too! 368 00:26:56,900 --> 00:27:00,110 What'd you get? 369 00:27:06,370 --> 00:27:07,620 A Milk Dud. 370 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,340 So, what did you find? 371 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:16,130 Half a rotisserie 372 00:27:16,210 --> 00:27:18,290 chicken. 373 00:27:18,380 --> 00:27:20,630 You're gonna split that with me, right? 374 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,180 Yeah. Maybe. 375 00:27:22,260 --> 00:27:24,970 For a hand job. 376 00:27:27,350 --> 00:27:29,560 Don't be such a prude, Babs. 377 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,560 It's not like you ain't done it 100,000 times already. 378 00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:34,980 Sp... Sperm! 379 00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:37,140 Exactly! 380 00:27:55,170 --> 00:27:57,220 Bob! 381 00:28:11,430 --> 00:28:13,600 I want to thank you for being so understanding. 382 00:28:13,690 --> 00:28:16,030 You know, a lot of girls would've run for the hills 383 00:28:16,110 --> 00:28:19,360 if the sperm of their blind date shot up their skirt like that. 384 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,060 So, thanks again. 385 00:28:21,150 --> 00:28:23,440 I swear to God, I will pay for any damages. 386 00:28:23,530 --> 00:28:26,040 Oh, please, things can be replaced. 387 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,700 Testicles can't. 388 00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:29,030 Now that's for sure. 389 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:33,420 I'm just glad you're... Uh. 390 00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,710 Louise? What's the matter? 391 00:28:35,790 --> 00:28:38,370 Oh, my God. 392 00:28:38,420 --> 00:28:41,260 Miles. That's your sperm. 393 00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:44,300 This just in. The tadpole-like creature 394 00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:47,170 is running rampant as it heads downtown. 395 00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:50,550 Five are dead already and unconfirmed reports 396 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,400 claim the slimy beast is now the sizze of a house 397 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,150 and growing! 398 00:28:55,230 --> 00:28:57,780 Military leaders are described as "testy" 399 00:28:57,860 --> 00:29:01,610 when asked how to defend against this gargantuan goo. 400 00:29:01,690 --> 00:29:03,770 The military is doing its best 401 00:29:03,860 --> 00:29:07,900 to determine what it would take to rub one out of this sizze. 402 00:29:07,990 --> 00:29:09,570 What are we gonna do? 403 00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:12,420 We gotta get the authorities. Come on! 404 00:29:12,490 --> 00:29:15,620 Citizzens are asked to use whatever protection they can 405 00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:18,090 and avoid the creature's immediate vicinity 406 00:29:18,170 --> 00:29:20,760 which authorities are calling, "the wet spot". 407 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,600 We're reporting live from downtown Manhattan 408 00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:38,730 at the epicenter of the crisis zzone 409 00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:41,270 with a sperm creature which has now risen to five stories high 410 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,610 and apparently still growing has been wreaking havoc on New York. 411 00:29:44,690 --> 00:29:47,980 The Mayor is insisting that all New Yorkers remain in their homes 412 00:29:48,070 --> 00:29:50,820 until further... Oh, my God. 413 00:29:50,910 --> 00:29:52,330 It's coming. 414 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,980 The stupendous spermatozzoa is ravaging through Central Park. 415 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,960 Oh, the humanity! 416 00:30:28,650 --> 00:30:31,400 The spermicide is having absolutely no effect. 417 00:30:31,490 --> 00:30:33,400 What does this sperm want, doc? 418 00:30:33,490 --> 00:30:36,240 What every sperm wants, General. To fertilizze an ovum! 419 00:30:36,330 --> 00:30:38,580 There's not an ovum on God's green earth 420 00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:40,410 big enough for that thing. 421 00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:41,890 Wait! I just figured it out. 422 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,630 The Statue of Liberty. 423 00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:46,080 It's the only conceivable female large enough. 424 00:31:57,410 --> 00:32:00,670 Steady. Steady. 425 00:32:11,510 --> 00:32:12,760 Ah! Dammit. 426 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:13,720 Oh, my God! 427 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,210 Don't panic, 428 00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:17,090 there's gotta be another one here. 429 00:32:17,140 --> 00:32:18,520 No time. Look! 430 00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,130 Attention! 431 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,700 This is General Bukkake. 432 00:32:44,790 --> 00:32:47,870 Initiate Operation Moneyshot. Three. 433 00:32:50,050 --> 00:32:52,430 Two! 434 00:32:52,510 --> 00:32:53,760 One! 435 00:33:34,090 --> 00:33:36,350 Ah. 436 00:33:36,430 --> 00:33:38,390 [Ugh. 437 00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:43,690 Some first date, huh? 438 00:33:53,860 --> 00:33:55,870 You can say that again. 439 00:33:57,950 --> 00:33:59,870 Well, at least it's good for the skin. 440 00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:01,120 Yeah. 441 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,450 What? 442 00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:13,460 What's the matter? 443 00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:14,630 Nothing. 444 00:34:24,060 --> 00:34:25,730 Miles! 445 00:34:25,770 --> 00:34:27,400 All right. 446 00:34:27,430 --> 00:34:29,140 Fuck it. 447 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,820 Hm. 448 00:34:56,130 --> 00:34:57,640 Oh, yeah. Classic cinema. 449 00:34:57,710 --> 00:34:59,170 Wow. 450 00:34:59,260 --> 00:35:02,010 If you liked Remains of the Day 451 00:35:02,090 --> 00:35:05,340 then you'll cream over Wadzilla. 452 00:35:05,430 --> 00:35:07,130 You know? 453 00:35:07,220 --> 00:35:08,930 Not enough tits. 454 00:35:09,020 --> 00:35:12,150 Wow. Ryan. Be your brother much? 455 00:35:12,230 --> 00:35:14,190 Mayna, don't insult me. 456 00:35:14,270 --> 00:35:17,770 Okay, substance run. I am so thirsty. 457 00:35:17,820 --> 00:35:19,780 Oh, no. Sit tight. Sit tight. I'll go. 458 00:35:19,820 --> 00:35:22,070 I got this. I got this one. 459 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,410 What? 460 00:35:23,490 --> 00:35:24,610 Nothing. 461 00:35:24,700 --> 00:35:25,960 I just wanna make sure 462 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:27,490 my friends are well fueled. 463 00:35:27,580 --> 00:35:29,630 Hm. Sure. 464 00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,660 What do you want? 465 00:35:31,750 --> 00:35:33,250 Get me some red vines. No popcorn. 466 00:35:33,330 --> 00:35:34,830 No corn? 467 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,470 Nope. No popcorn for me, but, 468 00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:38,680 a Coke would be delightful, Romeo. 469 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,550 All right. Red Vines. Check. 470 00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:42,960 Coke. Check. Fuck off. Check. 471 00:35:43,050 --> 00:35:46,840 Back before flick two. You kids, be good now. 472 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,400 Oh. Uh. MilkDuds. 473 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:51,150 Gremlins. 474 00:35:51,180 --> 00:35:52,760 Yeah! 475 00:35:55,060 --> 00:35:56,180 So... 476 00:35:56,270 --> 00:35:57,690 Uh... 477 00:35:57,770 --> 00:36:00,560 Robert England to Kane Hodder. Go. 478 00:36:00,650 --> 00:36:01,900 God, I love you. 479 00:36:01,990 --> 00:36:03,080 What? 480 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,370 Uh, nothing, nothing. 481 00:36:04,450 --> 00:36:06,370 Uh, well, that's easy... 482 00:36:06,450 --> 00:36:08,870 Stop the show. 483 00:36:08,950 --> 00:36:10,610 Here's news you want to know. 484 00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:13,160 We just got a shipment of... 485 00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:14,800 Dude! 486 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,670 Hey, you get me snackage? Thank you. 487 00:36:16,710 --> 00:36:18,080 Oh, I am? 488 00:36:18,170 --> 00:36:21,000 Come on, cum bubble. I'm busy. 489 00:36:21,090 --> 00:36:22,090 Hi, Ryan. 490 00:36:22,130 --> 00:36:23,380 Hi, Laura. 491 00:36:23,470 --> 00:36:24,890 You gonna go talk to Desi? 492 00:36:24,970 --> 00:36:26,560 Why does everyone know about this? 493 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,100 Popcorn. Extra butter. Andale. 494 00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:29,880 How about some money, prick? 495 00:36:29,970 --> 00:36:32,260 Put it on my tab, douche. 496 00:36:32,350 --> 00:36:34,220 Asshole. 497 00:36:34,310 --> 00:36:36,680 I think your brother's cute. 498 00:36:36,730 --> 00:36:38,520 I think my brother's a fagot. 499 00:36:42,940 --> 00:36:45,190 Enjoy the show. 500 00:36:46,030 --> 00:36:47,030 Hi, Des. 501 00:36:47,070 --> 00:36:48,070 Hey, Daddy-O. 502 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,620 What's your tale nightingale? 503 00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:50,910 Nothing much. 504 00:36:50,990 --> 00:36:52,410 Pretty crazzy outside, huh? 505 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,880 It's never been this jammin'. 506 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,130 It's totally Antsville. 507 00:36:55,210 --> 00:36:56,550 Man. 508 00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,120 Hey, you look so boss. 509 00:36:59,210 --> 00:37:00,540 You like it? 510 00:37:00,630 --> 00:37:02,260 I thought it'd be appropriate, 511 00:37:02,340 --> 00:37:03,140 last night and all. 512 00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:04,510 Sure. 513 00:37:04,590 --> 00:37:05,790 What can I do for ya? 514 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,050 Uh, I need a Twizzzzlers, 515 00:37:08,090 --> 00:37:10,300 a Coke and a popcorn, 516 00:37:10,390 --> 00:37:12,650 with extra extra arsenic, please. 517 00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:14,550 That last order is for big brother? 518 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,260 How could you tell? 519 00:37:16,350 --> 00:37:18,390 Lucky guess. Let me get that for ya. 520 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:19,890 Sure. 521 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,990 Snickers! Hey, I'm sorry. 522 00:37:28,070 --> 00:37:29,440 We're all out of butter 523 00:37:29,530 --> 00:37:30,900 but I can go get some real quick. 524 00:37:30,950 --> 00:37:32,400 Nah, it's not a problem, 525 00:37:32,490 --> 00:37:33,950 I don't wanna hold the line. 526 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,630 Nah, nah, it's okay. 527 00:37:35,710 --> 00:37:38,090 I'll be back in a jiff. Just hold on, okay? 528 00:38:13,830 --> 00:38:15,830 Golly. 529 00:38:20,750 --> 00:38:22,790 Beach, blanket, 530 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,380 bingo! 531 00:38:24,460 --> 00:38:26,080 Hm. It's open. 532 00:38:44,150 --> 00:38:47,410 So how's the car? I saw you on King last week, pretty cherry. 533 00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:50,330 You liked it? I got it right outside if you wanna take a look. 534 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:51,980 Nifty. Really? 535 00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:54,490 You know. Maybe before I hit back upstate, 536 00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:56,120 I'd like to take you for a drive. 537 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,410 Gee whizz. Um, yeah, but only if you come. 538 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,710 Hey, now. 539 00:39:01,790 --> 00:39:03,500 Well, kiddies. 540 00:39:03,590 --> 00:39:05,420 Ready for another rush 541 00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:09,210 rock and shock and roll? 542 00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:11,100 Shit. To be continued. 543 00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:14,020 Absolutely, big tickler. Come back after this one? 544 00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:15,670 That's a promise, Suzzy Q. 545 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,340 Ryan? 546 00:39:17,430 --> 00:39:18,840 Yeah. 547 00:39:18,930 --> 00:39:20,890 That's ten dollars. 548 00:39:20,980 --> 00:39:22,230 Ah! Right. Right. 549 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,780 Come back, okay? 550 00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:29,410 Swearzzies. Hope to die. Later gator. 551 00:39:29,490 --> 00:39:30,870 After a while, crocodile. 552 00:39:36,030 --> 00:39:37,910 Nice. 553 00:39:37,990 --> 00:39:40,620 This next class of cinematic sin 554 00:39:40,710 --> 00:39:43,460 stems from the outer reaches 555 00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:46,580 of Planet Taboo. 556 00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:49,930 So buckle up your seat belts... 557 00:39:50,010 --> 00:39:51,260 Hey! 558 00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:53,460 Hello? 559 00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:55,130 Dude, fuck-head, my door! 560 00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:57,130 There's your fucking popcorn. 561 00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:58,430 Thanks, Ryan! 562 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,100 Penis. 563 00:40:00,180 --> 00:40:05,640 About to unleash the fantastic furry fury 564 00:40:05,730 --> 00:40:11,230 ofl Was a Teenage Werebear. 565 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,590 Mark the Shark rocking down the PCH 566 00:40:26,670 --> 00:40:28,300 with NBH. 567 00:40:28,380 --> 00:40:31,090 Yeah, baby, Bobby Vinton. 568 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,110 Peggy Lou, if you keep groping like an octopus 569 00:40:46,190 --> 00:40:48,780 I'm gonna have to tell you. 570 00:40:48,860 --> 00:40:51,110 Now I'm gonna make you love me like Elvis. 571 00:40:51,150 --> 00:40:52,690 Geezz, me just met last week 572 00:40:52,780 --> 00:40:54,490 ain't you ever heard of taking it slow? 573 00:40:54,570 --> 00:40:56,780 Slow is for old-fashioned girls, 574 00:40:56,870 --> 00:40:59,160 not a modern woman like me, now get over here. 575 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,950 Are all the girls in Malibu like you? 576 00:41:00,990 --> 00:41:03,240 Ricky, don't you like boobies? 577 00:41:03,330 --> 00:41:04,330 Hey, Ricky! 578 00:41:04,410 --> 00:41:06,290 President Kennedy 579 00:41:06,370 --> 00:41:09,370 says we're going to the moon! 580 00:41:11,460 --> 00:41:13,380 I see you finally found your pot of gold, son. 581 00:41:13,470 --> 00:41:15,680 Hi, Mr. O'Reilly. Hi, Jimmy. 582 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,220 Top 'o the mornin' to ya las. I bless you child, 583 00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:20,800 for finally putting lrish whiskey. 584 00:41:20,890 --> 00:41:22,520 Cut it, dad. Nothing happened. 585 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,610 Rickie's mother, God rest her soul, 586 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,560 never was much for lrish whiskey, if you know what I mean. 587 00:41:27,650 --> 00:41:29,400 Oh, you poor old thing. 588 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,850 It's been a long, lonely life. 589 00:41:31,940 --> 00:41:33,650 Everybody, shut up! 590 00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:37,520 What are you two even doing here, anyway? 591 00:41:37,610 --> 00:41:40,570 You forgot your lunch for school on the beach day, dumdum. 592 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:46,870 Oh, you're tearing me apart! 593 00:41:51,670 --> 00:41:54,550 I swear, I'll never be like my old man. 594 00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:56,840 He's such a perv. 595 00:41:56,930 --> 00:41:58,680 Oh, Rickie, he isn't all that bad 596 00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:01,140 he just wants what's best for his son. 597 00:42:01,220 --> 00:42:05,260 I just don't wanna be another washed up jock slash war vet like him. 598 00:42:05,350 --> 00:42:07,010 There's more to life. 599 00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:10,930 No, there's more to me than, 600 00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:14,350 bouncing balls. 601 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,850 More to life than us? 602 00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:20,950 Ricky Patrick O'Reilly, you're doing it again. 603 00:42:21,030 --> 00:42:22,780 Doing what? 604 00:42:22,870 --> 00:42:25,080 You're looking away. 605 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,620 ♫ Is it something I do It it something I say, ♫ 606 00:42:35,710 --> 00:42:39,550 ♫ Every time I'm with you I see you looking away ♫ 607 00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:43,220 ♫ They say the eyes are The soul, doorway straight To your heart ♫ 608 00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:45,130 ♫ if you won't Ever stay close ♫ 609 00:42:45,220 --> 00:42:49,180 ♫ It's like I just cut a fart ♫ 610 00:42:51,190 --> 00:42:54,400 ♫ Don't look away, baby ♫ 611 00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,810 ♫ Please, don't look away ♫ 612 00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:01,280 ♫ Stare me straight In the eyes ♫ 613 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:05,650 ♫ With our hands Between my thighs ♫ 614 00:43:05,740 --> 00:43:10,370 ♫ So please don't look away ♫ 615 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,180 ♫ Baby give me some time So I can make up my mind ♫ 616 00:43:21,260 --> 00:43:22,930 ♫ Just know That it isn't you ♫ 617 00:43:23,010 --> 00:43:24,920 ♫ These feelings Make me so blue ♫ 618 00:43:25,010 --> 00:43:26,930 ♫ I'm trying Real hard to find ♫ 619 00:43:26,970 --> 00:43:28,680 ♫ The one That makes me feel right ♫ 620 00:43:28,770 --> 00:43:30,650 ♫ Till then I guess That it's you ♫ 621 00:43:30,730 --> 00:43:33,690 ♫ That's just the best I can do ♫ 622 00:43:33,770 --> 00:43:38,190 ♫ So I look away, baby ♫ 623 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,620 ♫ I guess I'll look away ♫ 624 00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:45,500 ♫ I can't take our eyes ♫ 625 00:43:45,580 --> 00:43:49,040 ♫ For you might see The lies ♫ 626 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:54,540 ♫ So I will look away ♫ 627 00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,640 ♫ Don't look away ♫ 628 00:43:59,710 --> 00:44:01,540 ♫ I think I'll look away ♫ 629 00:44:01,630 --> 00:44:03,170 ♫ Please Don't look away ♫ 630 00:44:03,260 --> 00:44:05,310 ♫ I guess I'll look away ♫ 631 00:44:05,390 --> 00:44:07,560 ♫ Stare me straight In the eye ♫ 632 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,140 ♫ I can't take your eyes ♫ 633 00:44:09,220 --> 00:44:11,050 ♫ Place your hands Between my thighs ♫ 634 00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:13,680 ♫ For you might see The lies ♫ 635 00:44:16,770 --> 00:44:18,640 ♫ Don't look away ♫ 636 00:44:18,730 --> 00:44:20,480 ♫ I think I'll look away ♫ 637 00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:22,660 ♫ Tear me up inside ♫ 638 00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:25,410 ♫ You make me Wanna go hide ♫ 639 00:44:25,490 --> 00:44:28,900 ♫♫ I think I'll look away ♫♫ 640 00:44:39,710 --> 00:44:41,250 You saved me. 641 00:44:41,340 --> 00:44:43,350 Quite observant. 642 00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:47,010 Whoa. You dented my Bronco. 643 00:44:47,050 --> 00:44:48,420 You dented her. 644 00:44:48,510 --> 00:44:52,090 I got a boo boo. 645 00:44:52,180 --> 00:44:54,760 I see the new kid's making nice with the other team. 646 00:44:54,850 --> 00:44:57,720 What team would that be, Butch? 647 00:44:57,810 --> 00:44:59,770 The team 648 00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:02,660 no God-fearing red-blooded American 649 00:45:02,740 --> 00:45:04,950 would be caught dead playing for. 650 00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:06,580 I toss balls with the boys. 651 00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:09,450 Exactly. 652 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,910 Look, Butch. She needs help. 653 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,130 The kind of help that bird needs ain't gonna come 654 00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:20,760 from a Melvin like you. 655 00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,050 Ooooh. 656 00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:27,600 See ya in class, bitch sticks. 657 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,060 She don't look so good. 658 00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,520 I've seen worse. 659 00:45:35,020 --> 00:45:37,070 I don't know how to thank you. 660 00:45:37,100 --> 00:45:40,430 You'll think of something. They always think of something. 661 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,480 Wait. What's your names? 662 00:45:44,490 --> 00:45:48,160 Talon. Dan. Den. 663 00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:49,290 I'm... 664 00:45:49,370 --> 00:45:51,660 Ricky. We know. 665 00:46:06,090 --> 00:46:09,590 You did good bringing her to me. 666 00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:13,520 With a little snoozze she'll be A-okay. 667 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,770 Shouldn't we bring her to the hospital? 668 00:46:15,850 --> 00:46:18,180 ♫ You got a pee pee Stick it in my poo poo ♫ 669 00:46:18,270 --> 00:46:20,110 ♫♫ Make it go boom! ♫♫ 670 00:46:20,190 --> 00:46:24,320 The brains, they spill a little bit crazzy. She fine. 671 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,980 Ricky. Ricky. 672 00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:35,610 Go away, you nasty beasty! 673 00:46:35,700 --> 00:46:40,290 Take your filthy vermin with you. Shoo! Shoo! 674 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:10,620 Shoo! 675 00:47:10,700 --> 00:47:12,660 Shoo! 676 00:47:12,740 --> 00:47:18,200 Take your foul animules with you. Shoo. Shoo. 677 00:47:18,290 --> 00:47:22,170 You stay away from those kind. 678 00:47:22,210 --> 00:47:25,220 Yeah, well those kind saved me. 679 00:48:00,870 --> 00:48:03,290 So Big Bad Butch ain't so bad after all. 680 00:48:03,370 --> 00:48:05,290 Aw, the heck with that, coach! 681 00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:07,550 Tinker Bell didn't pin me. 682 00:48:07,630 --> 00:48:09,340 I was distracted. 683 00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:12,150 All right. Who's next? 684 00:48:12,170 --> 00:48:13,960 Me. 685 00:48:14,050 --> 00:48:17,470 Oh, so I see Mr. Ducktale 686 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,650 finally decided to join us in class this semester. 687 00:48:20,730 --> 00:48:22,650 Couldn't get a note from your quack? 688 00:48:22,730 --> 00:48:24,110 Them two are sweet on each other. 689 00:48:24,190 --> 00:48:25,940 Take that back, Butch! 690 00:48:26,020 --> 00:48:28,390 Yo! Yo! Save it for the mat. 691 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,810 I don't mind if I do. 692 00:48:37,990 --> 00:48:39,280 Give in, Rick. 693 00:48:39,370 --> 00:48:40,420 Give in to me. 694 00:48:40,490 --> 00:48:41,740 Never! 695 00:48:41,790 --> 00:48:43,170 You can run from me 696 00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:46,590 but you can't run from yourself. 697 00:48:46,630 --> 00:48:48,340 Get off me now! 698 00:48:55,090 --> 00:48:57,260 Yo, what did I tell you about biting? 699 00:48:57,300 --> 00:48:59,930 Sorry, coach, I skipped breakfast. 700 00:49:00,010 --> 00:49:03,640 Skipped breakfast? Wiseguy, huh? Okay, three mile run everybody 701 00:49:03,730 --> 00:49:05,690 you can all thank wiseguy over here. 702 00:49:05,770 --> 00:49:07,100 Everybody let's go. 703 00:49:07,150 --> 00:49:09,320 Come on. Get go. Get going. 704 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,710 ♫ I got a feeling ♫ 705 00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,790 ♫ A feeling That I'm gonna explode ♫ 706 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:32,090 ♫ Yes, I've got this feeling ♫ 707 00:49:32,170 --> 00:49:36,290 ♫ How much longer Must I hold my load? ♫ 708 00:49:38,050 --> 00:49:42,630 ♫ Oh, what do I do? ♫ 709 00:49:45,890 --> 00:49:47,560 ♫ Purge this urge ♫ 710 00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:50,900 ♫ Oh, God, I really Gotta purge this urge ♫ 711 00:49:50,980 --> 00:49:53,690 ♫ if nothing else I've gotta purge ♫ 712 00:49:53,780 --> 00:49:56,200 ♫ This urge ♫ 713 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,330 ♫ Ooh Ooh ♫ 714 00:50:01,990 --> 00:50:03,740 ♫ Purge this urge ♫ 715 00:50:05,410 --> 00:50:07,620 ♫ The time is coming ♫ 716 00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:11,920 ♫ When I gotta choose ♫ 717 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,040 ♫ There's no more hiding ♫ 718 00:50:16,090 --> 00:50:18,960 ♫ No more playing By the boss man's rules ♫ 719 00:50:20,850 --> 00:50:25,310 ♫ I've got to find My own way ♫ 720 00:50:28,270 --> 00:50:29,480 ♫♫ Purge this urge! ♫♫ 721 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,610 Is there something you wanna talk about, kid? 722 00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,620 My mother, before she died, 723 00:50:37,700 --> 00:50:40,410 she said, "Ricky", 724 00:50:40,490 --> 00:50:44,250 always be true to yourself". And I try to be. 725 00:50:44,330 --> 00:50:49,170 But I get these feelings. 726 00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:52,630 Uh, these, urges. 727 00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:59,220 And they feel true, they feel so right. 728 00:50:59,260 --> 00:51:02,560 But, 729 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,480 so wrong. 730 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,560 Ricky, it may come as a surprise to you, kid. 731 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,720 Coach Tuffman gets those kind of urges too. 732 00:51:10,770 --> 00:51:13,480 You don't think I, 733 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,390 Watch you guys shower after class? 734 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:19,480 Soaping up your biceps, 735 00:51:19,570 --> 00:51:20,980 your abs, 736 00:51:21,070 --> 00:51:22,650 glutes. 737 00:51:22,740 --> 00:51:25,450 Whoa. I think it's time for me to bug out. 738 00:51:25,530 --> 00:51:27,990 Ricky, sit down. Relax. 739 00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,500 This is between me and you, right? 740 00:51:30,580 --> 00:51:35,250 I'm gonna do something for you my wife will never do for me. 741 00:51:35,340 --> 00:51:37,180 That dusty old wench. 742 00:51:37,250 --> 00:51:40,290 Hey! 743 00:51:59,690 --> 00:52:02,020 Tastes like chicken, huh, babe? 744 00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:12,170 I don't know what's happening to me. 745 00:52:12,250 --> 00:52:16,170 It's as if suddenly I have this strength, that, like... 746 00:52:16,250 --> 00:52:18,500 Of a grizzzzly? 747 00:52:18,590 --> 00:52:21,550 Listen. Don't have a cow. 748 00:52:21,630 --> 00:52:24,050 We got your back. 749 00:52:24,140 --> 00:52:26,060 You did this. 750 00:52:26,140 --> 00:52:30,650 It was your bite! My ass! 751 00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:34,850 What? What are you? 752 00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:37,990 The same as you. 753 00:52:38,020 --> 00:52:40,480 Oooh. 754 00:52:40,570 --> 00:52:42,780 Look who we've got here. 755 00:52:42,860 --> 00:52:45,230 Clean up for coach like good little boys? 756 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,360 More like cleaning up coach. 757 00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:52,830 Time to teach the fairy brigade a lesson. 758 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:55,380 Ugh. 759 00:52:55,460 --> 00:52:57,170 My pops told me 760 00:52:57,250 --> 00:52:59,500 this is how you teach lessons to pansies. 761 00:53:01,090 --> 00:53:04,100 Sounds like pops knows how to party. 762 00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:05,390 Leave him alone, Butch! 763 00:53:05,470 --> 00:53:07,770 Shut up, Nancy boy! 764 00:53:07,850 --> 00:53:09,230 You're next. 765 00:53:09,310 --> 00:53:11,600 Gentlemen. 766 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,890 Plug him up! Plug him up! Plug him up! 767 00:53:14,980 --> 00:53:18,570 Plug him up! Plug him up! Plug him up! 768 00:53:18,650 --> 00:53:20,740 This is for you, Jesus. 769 00:53:22,150 --> 00:53:26,860 Plug him up! Plug him up! 770 00:53:28,700 --> 00:53:31,080 Plug him up! Plug him up! 771 00:53:33,750 --> 00:53:35,130 Plug him up! 772 00:53:48,220 --> 00:53:49,770 You okay, dude? 773 00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:54,720 Man, I was just playing. 774 00:53:54,810 --> 00:53:56,310 It was just a joke. 775 00:53:56,390 --> 00:53:58,720 It's a party, daddy Os! 776 00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,240 Ugh! 777 00:54:26,510 --> 00:54:29,060 I never promised I'd be gentle. 778 00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,520 Now you know what we are. And what you are! 779 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,430 No. I'm not like any of you. 780 00:54:45,820 --> 00:54:47,820 Angsty little dude. 781 00:54:50,070 --> 00:54:51,940 My darling. It's good for your head. 782 00:54:52,030 --> 00:54:53,860 Call me, Sybill! 783 00:54:53,950 --> 00:54:55,360 Nurse Maleva, you've gotta help me. 784 00:54:55,450 --> 00:54:57,950 Just calm down. Tell me everything. 785 00:54:58,040 --> 00:54:59,880 You were right. Talon, the twins, 786 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:02,670 they're not just different, they're... They're... 787 00:55:02,750 --> 00:55:04,370 Werebears. 788 00:55:04,460 --> 00:55:05,790 Werebears! 789 00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:07,340 I'm sorry. I don't understand. 790 00:55:07,420 --> 00:55:11,630 Where I am from, there is old saying. 791 00:55:11,720 --> 00:55:15,230 Even a boy who thinks he's straight 792 00:55:15,310 --> 00:55:17,810 yet shaves his balls by night, 793 00:55:17,850 --> 00:55:21,470 may become a Werebear from the hormones of age 794 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,810 and the latent urge takes flight. 795 00:55:24,900 --> 00:55:26,450 So you're saying... 796 00:55:26,530 --> 00:55:29,070 Once bitten, anytime you get aroused, 797 00:55:29,150 --> 00:55:31,320 you become that which bit you. 798 00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:32,760 And you attack those you lust after. 799 00:55:32,820 --> 00:55:34,360 Lust after? 800 00:55:34,450 --> 00:55:39,160 I think you know what I'm talking about. 801 00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,340 Homo! 802 00:55:42,420 --> 00:55:44,710 No. I am not a homo! 803 00:55:44,790 --> 00:55:48,000 I'm a, Werebear. 804 00:56:04,650 --> 00:56:06,030 Looking for these? 805 00:56:10,820 --> 00:56:12,200 I'm going to the police. 806 00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,200 Well, don't forget to tell them 807 00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,610 what you did to good old Coach Tuffman. 808 00:56:17,700 --> 00:56:19,360 He was trying to molest me. 809 00:56:19,410 --> 00:56:21,120 Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. 810 00:56:21,210 --> 00:56:22,790 You can't molest the willing. 811 00:56:28,050 --> 00:56:31,890 You're such a cub, Ricky. All show and no go. 812 00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:35,800 Who's talking about not being like everybody else, you just wanna be you. 813 00:56:35,890 --> 00:56:37,810 This is you. 814 00:56:37,890 --> 00:56:41,600 No. You did this to me. 815 00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,390 You could ask yourself a question, brother. 816 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:48,320 Did the bite put the beast in you? 817 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,860 Or let it out. 818 00:57:00,910 --> 00:57:05,620 ♫ Love, love, love Bit me on the ass ♫ 819 00:57:05,710 --> 00:57:08,090 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 820 00:57:08,130 --> 00:57:10,340 ♫ It got me by surprise ♫ 821 00:57:10,420 --> 00:57:12,580 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 822 00:57:12,630 --> 00:57:15,130 ♫ Took teeth to realizze ♫ 823 00:57:15,220 --> 00:57:17,930 ♫ That I'm just A lonely boy ♫ 824 00:57:18,010 --> 00:57:20,260 ♫ Yes, deep down I'm blue ♫ 825 00:57:20,350 --> 00:57:22,690 ♫ But when I'm unleash the beast ♫ 826 00:57:22,770 --> 00:57:25,360 ♫ To myself I'm true ♫ 827 00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:33,440 ♫ Love, love, love, Bit me on the ass ♫ 828 00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,790 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 829 00:57:37,870 --> 00:57:40,290 ♫ Bit me deep down too ♫ 830 00:57:40,370 --> 00:57:42,460 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 831 00:57:42,490 --> 00:57:44,450 ♫ But no way am I like you ♫ 832 00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:47,460 ♫ I may be quite different ♫ 833 00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:49,370 ♫ But I am not a beast ♫ 834 00:57:49,460 --> 00:57:52,370 ♫ I just want to cuddle ♫ 835 00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:54,750 ♫ And you just wanna feast ♫ 836 00:57:54,840 --> 00:58:02,840 ♫ Love, love, love, Bit me on the ass ♫ 837 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,990 ♫♫ Love, love, love ♫♫ 838 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:39,010 Meet me tonight at the luau. It's gonna be a bloodbath. 839 00:58:39,090 --> 00:58:42,550 What do you mean with "bloodbath"? 840 00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:46,060 It means that the guys are gonna shake things up at the school dance. 841 00:58:46,140 --> 00:58:49,510 Payback time for those small-minded haters. 842 00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,520 I can't be part of that, Talon. 843 00:58:52,610 --> 00:58:54,280 You can't be part of that. 844 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,110 This is not how you gain acceptance. 845 00:59:00,410 --> 00:59:06,000 Well, then I guess I'll see ya when I'll see ya. 846 00:59:27,100 --> 00:59:30,400 ♫ I saw you dancing ♫ 847 00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,610 ♫ Barefoot in the sand ♫ 848 00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:42,230 ♫ I can love you Like no other can ♫ 849 00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:47,240 ♫ Sexy ways Sexy ways ♫ 850 00:59:47,290 --> 00:59:51,840 ♫♫ Sexy ways Sexy ways ♫♫ 851 00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:03,500 You've all given us such a warm welcome this first week at school. 852 01:00:03,590 --> 01:00:06,260 You definitely deserve this next number, it's, uh, 853 01:00:06,350 --> 01:00:09,350 It's pretty bear-tastic. 854 01:00:21,780 --> 01:00:25,160 ♫ Well, we got a new dance It's the hit of the land ♫ 855 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,710 ♫ All you gotta do is thrust when you stand ♫ 856 01:00:33,620 --> 01:00:36,870 ♫ a squeal, a grunt, and a squirt ♫ 857 01:00:39,130 --> 01:00:44,310 ♫ Yeah, it's called the Warebear And it just might hurt ♫ 858 01:00:44,340 --> 01:00:46,630 ♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫ 859 01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:50,470 ♫ And let The Werebear do you ♫ 860 01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,360 ♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫ 861 01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:57,650 ♫ Right here in Malibu ♫ 862 01:01:00,570 --> 01:01:02,620 Yeah! 863 01:01:02,690 --> 01:01:06,480 ♫ Sweeping the nation Just like civil rights Werebear ♫ 864 01:01:06,570 --> 01:01:11,360 ♫ It's the latest sensation For long long lonely nights ♫ 865 01:01:11,450 --> 01:01:13,620 ♫ Werebear ♫ 866 01:01:13,710 --> 01:01:15,670 I knew you would come, son. 867 01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:18,010 ♫ Four, three, two, thrust ♫ 868 01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,540 I know now what I must do, Maleva. 869 01:01:20,630 --> 01:01:22,590 ♫ Three, thrust ♫ 870 01:01:22,670 --> 01:01:26,840 ♫ I wanna do it again Let's do the Werebear ♫ 871 01:01:26,930 --> 01:01:30,390 ♫ And let The Werebear do you ♫ 872 01:01:30,470 --> 01:01:32,680 ♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫ 873 01:01:32,770 --> 01:01:37,230 ♫ Right here in Malibu ♫ 874 01:01:40,940 --> 01:01:42,230 Yeah! 875 01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,280 ♫ One, two, three, thrust ♫ 876 01:01:47,700 --> 01:01:50,870 ♫ One, two, three, thrust One, two, three, thrust ♫ 877 01:01:50,950 --> 01:01:53,740 ♫ Do it again ♫ 878 01:01:55,660 --> 01:02:00,040 ♫ One, two, three, thrust Oh, it never has to end ♫ 879 01:02:00,130 --> 01:02:02,970 ♫ One, two, three, thrust One, two, three, thrust ♫ 880 01:02:06,470 --> 01:02:08,390 ♫♫ One, two, three, Thrust, oh! ♫♫ 881 01:02:08,470 --> 01:02:09,600 ♫ Everybody gather round ♫ 882 01:02:11,470 --> 01:02:13,970 ♫ You better not let This madness go down ♫ 883 01:02:14,060 --> 01:02:17,980 ♫ They got good lines They fuck real good ♫ 884 01:02:18,060 --> 01:02:22,640 ♫♫ But they just want To make you their food ♫♫ 885 01:02:25,530 --> 01:02:27,030 Yeah! 886 01:02:31,490 --> 01:02:34,740 Violence and hatred is not the answer. 887 01:02:34,830 --> 01:02:39,340 If we are to be accepted we must show love and tolerance. 888 01:02:39,420 --> 01:02:42,380 There are human beings out there, Talon. 889 01:02:42,460 --> 01:02:44,670 Not snacks. 890 01:02:46,420 --> 01:02:49,500 Nice speech, Gandhi. 891 01:02:49,590 --> 01:02:52,840 But we're hungry! 892 01:03:07,030 --> 01:03:09,330 I freed you from a life of conformity. 893 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,440 I unleashed you from the mundane. 894 01:03:16,410 --> 01:03:19,990 You chained me to a life of bloodloss! 895 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,500 Help me, Maleva! 896 01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:07,540 Yes, Ricky. You know what to do. 897 01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:26,890 Maybe... 898 01:04:26,980 --> 01:04:30,770 I should've been more like you. 899 01:04:30,860 --> 01:04:34,110 We can change the world together. 900 01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:36,120 You still can. 901 01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:40,040 Go get 'em, kid. 902 01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:42,030 Make sure 903 01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:45,830 you tell them that I'm not a monster. 904 01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:51,010 You know, Werebears need love too. 905 01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:18,650 Wow. Not enough gay. 906 01:05:18,740 --> 01:05:22,160 Yeah, I mean, De Palma, ripping this off for Carrey? 907 01:05:22,250 --> 01:05:24,290 Why are you surprised? It's De Palma. 908 01:05:24,370 --> 01:05:27,910 What... What I don't get, is if they just shaved their chests 909 01:05:27,960 --> 01:05:29,920 wouldn't their curse be lifted? 910 01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,460 I mean, that's what it took to be a Werebear. Right? 911 01:05:32,550 --> 01:05:34,430 Uh. Sure. 912 01:05:34,510 --> 01:05:36,530 I feel like I would've used something less invasive. 913 01:05:36,550 --> 01:05:39,340 You know, like, instead of a dildo, maybe a silver razzor. 914 01:05:41,180 --> 01:05:43,340 What was that? 915 01:05:43,430 --> 01:05:46,260 That's what scientists refer to as the one cheek sneak. 916 01:05:46,350 --> 01:05:49,270 Anyone want anything from the concession stand? 917 01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:50,420 I'm gonna go talk to Mr. K. 918 01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:51,940 I'm good. 919 01:05:52,030 --> 01:05:53,820 Nah, just bring Desi back if you can. 920 01:05:53,900 --> 01:05:56,610 Yeah, sure, I'll be right back. 921 01:06:10,130 --> 01:06:12,220 Is it hot in here or is it just me? 922 01:06:12,300 --> 01:06:14,090 It's you. 923 01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:20,010 How 'bout you sideburns, want some of this milk it may cool you off? 924 01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:21,770 I'd rather have a beer. 925 01:06:21,850 --> 01:06:23,640 Nice. 926 01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,640 Okay. Saw you, Mr. Cockblock. 927 01:06:27,140 --> 01:06:29,010 Hey, is there any popcorn left? 928 01:06:29,100 --> 01:06:31,890 Fresh out. 929 01:06:31,980 --> 01:06:33,980 Want me to get some more before the next flick? 930 01:06:34,070 --> 01:06:35,910 Yeah. I'll just be here getting manhandled. 931 01:06:35,990 --> 01:06:37,660 Really? 932 01:06:41,700 --> 01:06:43,820 Oh. I could just eat you up. 933 01:06:43,910 --> 01:06:48,330 ♫ It's all over, darling ♫ 934 01:06:48,370 --> 01:06:49,660 ♫♫ because I... ♫♫ 935 01:06:51,170 --> 01:06:52,670 Hey, Mr. K. How you holding up? 936 01:06:52,710 --> 01:06:54,370 Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 937 01:06:54,460 --> 01:06:56,080 Boy, dammit. 938 01:06:56,170 --> 01:06:57,710 Does anybody knock anymore? 939 01:06:57,800 --> 01:06:59,050 I'm an old man here. 940 01:06:59,130 --> 01:07:00,300 Mr. K., I'm sorry, sir, I... 941 01:07:00,390 --> 01:07:01,930 Don't apologizze. 942 01:07:02,010 --> 01:07:05,510 Put, put, put, put your hands down, son. 943 01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,940 Wow. Thanks for the six heart attacks. 944 01:07:09,020 --> 01:07:11,360 Do you have a minute to talk. I, I need to. 945 01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:15,610 Well, sure thing. But, uh, go over to the projector first 946 01:07:15,690 --> 01:07:17,690 and flip on my call, okay? 947 01:07:17,780 --> 01:07:19,910 Yeah, you got it, Mr. K. 948 01:07:23,700 --> 01:07:29,240 Welcome back, boyls and ghouls. 949 01:07:29,330 --> 01:07:34,910 Anybody not off to eternal slumber yet? 950 01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:42,300 Tonight they will bask in the glory of the unconventional. 951 01:07:42,390 --> 01:07:45,730 Spit in the eye of morality 952 01:07:45,810 --> 01:07:49,690 and feast on the art of the damned. 953 01:07:49,770 --> 01:07:52,980 With a film that will test your tastes 954 01:07:53,060 --> 01:07:57,940 and rock the very fabric of your senses! 955 01:07:58,030 --> 01:08:02,410 And first, it's time to bear witness 956 01:08:02,490 --> 01:08:05,620 to the Bible of bad taste, 957 01:08:05,700 --> 01:08:10,910 The Diary of Anne Frankenstein! 958 01:09:32,750 --> 01:09:33,750 Sh. 959 01:12:44,100 --> 01:12:45,430 Heil, Hitler! 960 01:12:50,940 --> 01:12:52,560 Scheisse. 961 01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:25,770 Boop! 962 01:14:11,610 --> 01:14:12,650 Poofta. 963 01:15:37,030 --> 01:15:38,160 Heil, Hitler! 964 01:17:23,340 --> 01:17:24,500 Oh, mein Gott. 965 01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:42,170 Heil, Hitler! 966 01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:56,510 Meshugannah. 967 01:20:59,640 --> 01:21:00,840 Huh? 968 01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:48,580 Nein! 969 01:23:26,870 --> 01:23:29,660 What the fuck? 970 01:26:11,490 --> 01:26:12,700 Oh! 971 01:27:24,610 --> 01:27:26,740 What is it? 972 01:27:26,780 --> 01:27:29,580 More popcorn? 973 01:27:29,610 --> 01:27:33,070 ♫ Two hot popcorns Mix it up, wrap it up ♫ 974 01:27:33,120 --> 01:27:35,210 ♫ Butter it up ♫ 975 01:27:37,830 --> 01:27:40,840 I got big plans for you, baby. 976 01:27:40,920 --> 01:27:42,630 Nice. Nice. 977 01:27:42,710 --> 01:27:43,840 You like that, baby? 978 01:27:43,920 --> 01:27:45,300 Hm. Yeah. 979 01:27:45,380 --> 01:27:48,180 Loads of possibilities. 980 01:27:48,260 --> 01:27:52,180 24.000 square feet, Starbucks, 981 01:27:52,260 --> 01:27:55,680 Food court, oh, I get hard just thinking about it. 982 01:27:55,760 --> 01:27:58,800 Yeah. 983 01:27:58,890 --> 01:28:01,430 Hm. That's good. Hm. 984 01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:04,230 Oh. So, so good. 985 01:28:04,310 --> 01:28:06,190 Hm. Delicious. 986 01:28:06,280 --> 01:28:09,620 Hey. Are you enjoying my mouth or the fucking popcorn? 987 01:28:09,700 --> 01:28:11,120 Well, both, baby. 988 01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:13,540 It's kind of a big fantasy for me. 989 01:28:13,620 --> 01:28:16,460 Well, are you sure? 'Cause it seems you're getting all orgasmic 990 01:28:16,540 --> 01:28:17,870 about your fucking snacks. 991 01:28:21,500 --> 01:28:24,380 Jesus, are you okay? 992 01:28:24,460 --> 01:28:26,260 Yeah, just, uh, I feel hot. Kinda hot. 993 01:28:26,340 --> 01:28:28,510 Don't stop. Come on. 994 01:28:28,590 --> 01:28:31,720 Okay. Tell me when you're gonna pop. You know I don't like the taste. 995 01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:33,960 Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. 996 01:28:48,820 --> 01:28:50,320 What... 997 01:29:13,220 --> 01:29:15,430 More head. 998 01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:32,320 What the fuck? 999 01:29:33,530 --> 01:29:34,740 I just washed this car. 1000 01:29:34,820 --> 01:29:36,280 He's got blue slushies! 1001 01:29:36,370 --> 01:29:38,700 Oh! I'm like freaking out right now! 1002 01:29:38,780 --> 01:29:40,360 All right. What were we talking about? 1003 01:29:40,410 --> 01:29:42,450 Tobe. I should probably go... 1004 01:29:42,540 --> 01:29:44,540 Talk to Tobe. 1005 01:29:44,620 --> 01:29:47,040 I think you should talk to him. That's my piece. 1006 01:29:47,080 --> 01:29:50,790 That's fine! Screw it! Just tell me how it begins. 1007 01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:53,970 Roger Wilco. Red five. Standing by. 1008 01:29:54,050 --> 01:29:55,640 Hm. Nerdy one. 1009 01:29:55,720 --> 01:29:57,140 Yeah, and you getting that line 1010 01:29:57,220 --> 01:29:58,600 makes you one of the good ones. 1011 01:30:00,100 --> 01:30:04,270 Which makes me, the final girl. 1012 01:30:07,810 --> 01:30:09,930 And now, on with the show. 1013 01:30:14,900 --> 01:30:17,820 Well, my Chilly Chillens, 1014 01:30:17,910 --> 01:30:22,920 I hope you're still with us for the long. 1015 01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:34,580 For this popular abomination you've all been waiting for. 1016 01:30:34,630 --> 01:30:38,670 The final sinful centerpiece, 1017 01:30:38,760 --> 01:30:41,840 of our last evening together. 1018 01:30:41,930 --> 01:30:44,340 Hey. 1019 01:30:44,430 --> 01:30:46,470 So, I need to get something off my chest. 1020 01:30:46,560 --> 01:30:48,470 L... I... 1021 01:30:48,560 --> 01:30:52,980 (Mr. K. You are gonna see some serious shit! 1022 01:30:53,070 --> 01:30:54,700 Whoa. 1023 01:30:54,780 --> 01:30:57,120 It's just like in the movies, huh? 1024 01:30:57,200 --> 01:30:59,450 L... I... 1025 01:30:59,530 --> 01:31:01,650 I got nothing. 1026 01:31:01,740 --> 01:31:05,700 The most vile and offensive 1027 01:31:05,790 --> 01:31:08,380 stock of celluloid. 1028 01:31:08,460 --> 01:31:13,970 Here is Deathication. 1029 01:31:26,770 --> 01:31:28,650 Oh, hello. 1030 01:31:28,690 --> 01:31:30,070 I didn't see you there. 1031 01:31:30,150 --> 01:31:31,820 Come in, won't you? 1032 01:31:36,150 --> 01:31:38,650 Would you mind, uh, closing the door, please? 1033 01:31:39,910 --> 01:31:41,660 Thank you very much. 1034 01:31:41,700 --> 01:31:44,410 As I was saying, my name is Fernando Phagabeefy. 1035 01:31:44,490 --> 01:31:47,070 Internationally known and respected film maker. 1036 01:31:47,160 --> 01:31:48,740 The visionary mastermind 1037 01:31:48,830 --> 01:31:50,870 behind notorious cinematic works such as, 1038 01:31:50,960 --> 01:31:52,170 The Cunting Death, 1039 01:31:52,210 --> 01:31:53,920 Salo 2, The Next Day 1040 01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:56,830 and of course, Rosemary's Picnic Table. 1041 01:31:56,880 --> 01:31:58,380 I here now to present to you 1042 01:31:58,470 --> 01:32:00,640 my latest and greatest moving picture. 1043 01:32:00,720 --> 01:32:02,770 A film so scandalous, so intense, 1044 01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:05,010 that it was banned from every film festival 1045 01:32:05,100 --> 01:32:06,440 in fear of mass hysteria, 1046 01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:08,600 and destroyed seating. 1047 01:32:08,680 --> 01:32:10,890 The next 87 minutes you're about to endure 1048 01:32:10,980 --> 01:32:13,030 a motion picture I've directed called, 1049 01:32:13,100 --> 01:32:14,520 Deathication, 1050 01:32:14,610 --> 01:32:16,450 comes with a very serious warning. 1051 01:32:16,530 --> 01:32:18,410 This film was specifically produced 1052 01:32:18,490 --> 01:32:21,030 to elicit the effect of pure terror on the audience 1053 01:32:21,070 --> 01:32:23,030 to a complete and total sensory immersion 1054 01:32:23,110 --> 01:32:24,690 to the images on screen 1055 01:32:24,780 --> 01:32:27,400 using the latest in cinematic technology. 1056 01:32:27,490 --> 01:32:29,780 The lights of which we can have revealed here 1057 01:32:29,870 --> 01:32:31,830 in fear of government confiscation. 1058 01:32:31,920 --> 01:32:34,960 The following visuals printed on this very film stock 1059 01:32:35,040 --> 01:32:38,250 are proven to cause a highly visceral, biological response 1060 01:32:38,340 --> 01:32:40,390 in the human nervous system in the most, 1061 01:32:40,470 --> 01:32:42,220 hm, nefarious of ways. 1062 01:32:45,300 --> 01:32:46,970 Oh, hello, doctor. 1063 01:32:47,060 --> 01:32:49,600 As you can see from our scientific results, 1064 01:32:49,680 --> 01:32:51,390 this photo realistic rendering 1065 01:32:51,430 --> 01:32:53,060 of one, the human body, 1066 01:32:53,140 --> 01:32:55,140 each and every frame of Deathication 1067 01:32:55,230 --> 01:32:57,480 swiftly attacks the viewer's brainwaves, 1068 01:32:57,570 --> 01:33:00,070 rendering specific motor functions helpless 1069 01:33:00,110 --> 01:33:03,230 to the depravity that unfolds before your very eyes. 1070 01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:05,570 At any moment during the course of this film, 1071 01:33:05,660 --> 01:33:08,080 viewers have been know to suddenly and violently 1072 01:33:08,120 --> 01:33:09,790 release their bowels! 1073 01:33:09,870 --> 01:33:13,170 A collective explosion of hot, moist madness. 1074 01:33:13,250 --> 01:33:16,010 In other words, what you're about to see 1075 01:33:16,080 --> 01:33:17,830 will make you shit. A lot! 1076 01:33:17,920 --> 01:33:19,800 Buckets of excrement! 1077 01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:21,840 A river of ca ca will rage through this theater's 1078 01:33:21,920 --> 01:33:23,460 as one buttery floor. 1079 01:33:23,550 --> 01:33:25,630 You'll crap your slacks for days to come, 1080 01:33:25,720 --> 01:33:28,520 ruin many undergarments become severely dehydrated, 1081 01:33:28,600 --> 01:33:31,940 brave scorn at any social event or family gathering, 1082 01:33:32,020 --> 01:33:34,690 even suffer from a case of inflamed anal tissue 1083 01:33:34,770 --> 01:33:37,360 similar, to the effects of sodomy. 1084 01:33:37,440 --> 01:33:40,030 In other other words, this film 1085 01:33:40,110 --> 01:33:42,110 will rape you with your own feces. 1086 01:33:42,190 --> 01:33:43,610 And that, my friends, 1087 01:33:43,650 --> 01:33:47,190 is a Fernando Phagabeefy promise. 1088 01:33:47,280 --> 01:33:49,650 With this warning in mind, by staying in this theatre, 1089 01:33:49,740 --> 01:33:51,820 you're releasing any rights and liability 1090 01:33:51,910 --> 01:33:55,030 against the film makers or the owner of this fine establishment 1091 01:33:55,120 --> 01:33:57,080 for any cleaning bills, shattered senses, 1092 01:33:57,170 --> 01:33:59,670 or exploded ovaries. So, for the safety of you, 1093 01:33:59,750 --> 01:34:01,750 those around you and the integrity 1094 01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:03,550 of your swimming trunks area, 1095 01:34:03,630 --> 01:34:06,500 please consider this your final warning. 1096 01:34:06,590 --> 01:34:08,710 Those in the audience who have a weak constitution 1097 01:34:08,800 --> 01:34:10,300 or a giant asshole, 1098 01:34:10,390 --> 01:34:12,390 should leave this theatre immediately! 1099 01:34:12,470 --> 01:34:14,390 Unless you are truly prepared 1100 01:34:14,480 --> 01:34:18,320 to experience the horrific effects of, Deathication. 1101 01:34:18,400 --> 01:34:21,490 Because you can't scream if you're full of shit. 1102 01:35:21,000 --> 01:35:22,620 What the hell... 1103 01:35:24,050 --> 01:35:25,550 What is that? 1104 01:35:25,590 --> 01:35:27,430 I don't know. That's a first. 1105 01:35:29,380 --> 01:35:31,460 Do you think Mr. K's all right? 1106 01:35:31,550 --> 01:35:33,450 I don't know. I'm kind of worried about him. 1107 01:35:33,470 --> 01:35:35,470 He seemed a bit a mess about the whole thing, 1108 01:35:35,560 --> 01:35:36,480 and there was a gun. 1109 01:35:36,560 --> 01:35:38,610 What? A gun? 1110 01:35:38,690 --> 01:35:41,440 Look, I'll explain in a sec. Come on, let's go check him out. 1111 01:35:48,450 --> 01:35:49,450 Cecil! 1112 01:35:49,490 --> 01:35:50,740 Oh, my God. 1113 01:35:50,820 --> 01:35:52,570 You kids, get out of here! 1114 01:35:52,660 --> 01:35:54,250 What the hell, man? 1115 01:35:54,330 --> 01:35:55,660 Gun. 1116 01:35:58,410 --> 01:36:00,370 Dick, you're fired! 1117 01:36:02,080 --> 01:36:04,750 Boss! 1118 01:36:08,260 --> 01:36:10,760 What? You never saw Robocop? 1119 01:36:10,840 --> 01:36:12,550 What the cripes was that, Mr. K? 1120 01:36:12,640 --> 01:36:15,060 I don't know. He just attacked me from behind. 1121 01:36:15,140 --> 01:36:17,810 Next thing I know, he's trying to pull my pants down. 1122 01:36:17,890 --> 01:36:20,800 I think he was trying to hide the baloney. 1123 01:36:20,890 --> 01:36:24,100 What's that blue stuff on him? 1124 01:36:24,190 --> 01:36:27,780 Wait, wait, wait. I saw that on somebody's shirt downstairs. 1125 01:36:27,820 --> 01:36:30,030 Wait! Did he bite you? He's totally a zzombie. 1126 01:36:30,110 --> 01:36:31,940 No. He came close but no cigar. I'm fine. 1127 01:36:32,030 --> 01:36:33,940 And you? 1128 01:36:34,030 --> 01:36:36,860 Actually, I'm kind of awesome, all things considering. 1129 01:36:36,950 --> 01:36:39,700 Well, let's check the. 1130 01:36:39,790 --> 01:36:40,830 Look out! 1131 01:36:40,910 --> 01:36:41,910 Tobe! 1132 01:36:45,000 --> 01:36:46,210 Get him off me! 1133 01:36:49,210 --> 01:36:50,500 Tobe! 1134 01:36:50,590 --> 01:36:52,460 Shit! He's trying to kiss me! 1135 01:37:00,560 --> 01:37:02,150 Fuck you, Floyd. 1136 01:37:07,150 --> 01:37:09,910 Wow. Wow. Wow. 1137 01:37:14,950 --> 01:37:16,080 Wolfman has nards! 1138 01:37:16,160 --> 01:37:18,040 Nice shooting, Tex. 1139 01:37:18,120 --> 01:37:20,210 How'd you know that was the sweet spot? 1140 01:37:20,290 --> 01:37:21,830 Come on, I'm a girl. 1141 01:37:21,870 --> 01:37:23,490 I know where guy's heads are. 1142 01:37:23,540 --> 01:37:25,330 Thanks. 1143 01:37:25,420 --> 01:37:27,300 That's two you owe me, Junior. 1144 01:37:30,510 --> 01:37:31,890 God, I love you. 1145 01:37:31,970 --> 01:37:33,550 I know. 1146 01:37:33,630 --> 01:37:36,000 Will you two clam it 'till the credits? 1147 01:37:36,050 --> 01:37:37,170 What I wanna know 1148 01:37:37,260 --> 01:37:38,720 is what the sweet scent 1149 01:37:38,810 --> 01:37:41,350 of Satan's scrotus is going on here. 1150 01:38:24,230 --> 01:38:25,730 What? 1151 01:38:46,210 --> 01:38:47,630 I'll just lie here. 1152 01:38:47,710 --> 01:38:49,500 It all should blow over. 1153 01:38:49,580 --> 01:38:51,910 Ah, fuck that! I could leave! 1154 01:38:52,000 --> 01:38:53,580 I got the car, I got the keys! 1155 01:38:53,630 --> 01:38:56,040 Ah, what about the guys? 1156 01:38:56,130 --> 01:38:58,000 Wait. 1157 01:38:58,090 --> 01:39:01,210 Ah, Des! Shit! 1158 01:39:55,530 --> 01:39:57,410 Yes! Okay. 1159 01:39:57,490 --> 01:39:59,160 Come on, Ryan. 1160 01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:02,040 This is my movie. I'm the final girl. 1161 01:40:02,120 --> 01:40:03,700 Come on! 1162 01:40:05,790 --> 01:40:07,500 Okay. 1163 01:40:07,580 --> 01:40:09,580 One. 1164 01:40:09,660 --> 01:40:12,450 Two. 1165 01:40:13,790 --> 01:40:15,080 Two and a half. 1166 01:40:15,170 --> 01:40:16,170 Three! 1167 01:40:27,970 --> 01:40:29,550 Jesus, Miller. 1168 01:40:34,860 --> 01:40:36,700 Penis brat! 1169 01:40:36,730 --> 01:40:38,560 You gotta be fucking kidding! 1170 01:41:18,730 --> 01:41:20,440 Swearsies. 1171 01:41:20,530 --> 01:41:22,160 Now what? 1172 01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:25,330 We get back in the car and get the fuck out. 1173 01:41:28,240 --> 01:41:32,410 Plan A sucks. Got any other ideas? 1174 01:41:32,500 --> 01:41:34,250 Follow me. 1175 01:41:44,880 --> 01:41:47,920 Fuck you, fucking zzombies! 1176 01:41:47,970 --> 01:41:49,670 Okay. 1177 01:41:49,760 --> 01:41:51,680 I gotta think. I gotta save the day. 1178 01:41:51,770 --> 01:41:53,360 What would, uh, Simon Pegg do? 1179 01:41:53,430 --> 01:41:55,760 That's too British. 1180 01:41:55,850 --> 01:41:57,680 Des, Des, we're gonna get out of this. 1181 01:41:57,770 --> 01:42:00,020 We're gonna be oh... 1182 01:42:01,900 --> 01:42:03,150 Des? 1183 01:42:03,240 --> 01:42:06,790 I want you, Ryan. 1184 01:42:06,860 --> 01:42:08,940 That is so awesome, but, 1185 01:42:09,030 --> 01:42:12,320 this is kind of a no time for love Dr. Jones situation here, so. 1186 01:42:12,410 --> 01:42:14,570 We'll be fine. 1187 01:42:14,660 --> 01:42:17,490 Come to me, Ryan. 1188 01:42:17,580 --> 01:42:19,450 But, but you're... 1189 01:42:19,500 --> 01:42:21,210 In love? 1190 01:42:21,300 --> 01:42:22,880 No... 1191 01:42:24,510 --> 01:42:26,640 Be inside me forever, Ryan. 1192 01:42:26,680 --> 01:42:28,140 I, uh... 1193 01:42:34,180 --> 01:42:35,430 Fuck it! 1194 01:42:52,990 --> 01:42:54,950 Phone's dead. 1195 01:42:55,040 --> 01:42:57,420 Phones out here too, smart bastards. 1196 01:42:57,500 --> 01:42:59,170 What the hell is going on? 1197 01:42:59,210 --> 01:43:02,050 When there's no more room left in hell, 1198 01:43:02,130 --> 01:43:03,840 "The dead shall fuck the earth." 1199 01:43:03,880 --> 01:43:06,540 Or something like that, it's like, 1200 01:43:06,630 --> 01:43:07,840 with the final reel. 1201 01:43:07,880 --> 01:43:09,090 Final reel. 1202 01:43:09,180 --> 01:43:10,520 What? 1203 01:43:10,600 --> 01:43:12,560 No. I cannot die here tonight. 1204 01:43:14,520 --> 01:43:16,520 You're not gonna die tonight. 1205 01:43:16,600 --> 01:43:17,720 Here. 1206 01:43:17,810 --> 01:43:19,470 Here you go, kid. 1207 01:43:19,560 --> 01:43:21,000 Six rounds will give you some courage. 1208 01:43:21,020 --> 01:43:22,270 What about you? 1209 01:43:22,360 --> 01:43:23,820 Don't worry about me. 1210 01:43:23,900 --> 01:43:25,690 Now you came by car tonight, right? 1211 01:43:25,780 --> 01:43:27,910 Yeah, hopefully Ryan stayed in the car. 1212 01:43:27,990 --> 01:43:30,120 He's got the keys. 1213 01:43:30,200 --> 01:43:32,040 Get back to your car, 1214 01:43:32,120 --> 01:43:34,870 lock yourselves in and drive fast. 1215 01:43:34,950 --> 01:43:37,200 What do we tell him? That this in an undead orgy? 1216 01:43:37,290 --> 01:43:38,790 Tell them whatever! 1217 01:43:38,870 --> 01:43:40,790 Tell them to bring the cops, the army, 1218 01:43:40,880 --> 01:43:43,090 the goddamn hazzmat suits. Bring them all! 1219 01:43:43,170 --> 01:43:45,050 Now, you have 12 rounds between you. 1220 01:43:45,130 --> 01:43:47,300 Got it. 1221 01:43:47,380 --> 01:43:48,960 Aren't you coming? 1222 01:43:49,050 --> 01:43:52,460 Yeah. Yeah. I'll... I'll catch up with ya. 1223 01:43:55,890 --> 01:43:57,840 Scoot you two. Good luck. 1224 01:43:57,930 --> 01:44:00,220 And may the schwartzz be with ya. 1225 01:44:00,310 --> 01:44:01,640 You too, Mr. K. 1226 01:44:09,150 --> 01:44:12,780 What was it you said, Orson? 1227 01:44:12,870 --> 01:44:17,370 Nobody who takes on anything big and tough 1228 01:44:17,450 --> 01:44:19,740 can afford to be modest. 1229 01:44:28,920 --> 01:44:31,040 Fuck modesty. 1230 01:44:48,280 --> 01:44:49,450 Fuck! 1231 01:44:57,120 --> 01:44:58,830 Hey, there, big boy. 1232 01:44:58,910 --> 01:45:00,280 You like that? 1233 01:45:02,500 --> 01:45:03,960 Is this what you want? 1234 01:45:04,040 --> 01:45:05,370 Mayna, what the fuck? 1235 01:45:05,460 --> 01:45:08,430 Happy ending. 1236 01:45:15,050 --> 01:45:16,510 Feel important. 1237 01:45:16,600 --> 01:45:18,520 Wait! Smoke screen. 1238 01:45:22,810 --> 01:45:24,970 Fuck me gently with the chain saw. 1239 01:45:29,230 --> 01:45:30,400 Let's go! 1240 01:45:30,480 --> 01:45:31,480 Okay. Okay. 1241 01:45:31,530 --> 01:45:32,990 Oh, my God! 1242 01:45:38,910 --> 01:45:39,910 Where's the car? 1243 01:45:39,990 --> 01:45:41,240 Right there. 1244 01:45:41,330 --> 01:45:42,670 Yeah. Right there. 1245 01:45:43,910 --> 01:45:45,580 Oh, shit. 1246 01:45:47,500 --> 01:45:48,750 Fuck. 1247 01:45:48,840 --> 01:45:50,680 Watch out. 1248 01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:52,720 Your mother sucks cocks in hell. 1249 01:45:54,510 --> 01:45:56,260 Tobe! Oh, my gosh! 1250 01:45:59,720 --> 01:46:01,760 Oh, fuck. 1251 01:46:01,850 --> 01:46:03,150 Are you out? 1252 01:46:03,230 --> 01:46:04,730 I've got one. 1253 01:46:06,600 --> 01:46:07,720 I've got two. 1254 01:46:07,810 --> 01:46:09,600 Wait. No. 1255 01:46:09,690 --> 01:46:11,270 I've only got one. Fuck. 1256 01:46:11,360 --> 01:46:13,280 Well, the best we could do is use it on us. 1257 01:46:13,360 --> 01:46:15,400 Before we become zzombies. 1258 01:46:15,490 --> 01:46:18,540 I don't feel like losing my virginity with a goddamn zzombie. 1259 01:46:18,620 --> 01:46:20,460 Wait. You're a virgin? 1260 01:46:20,530 --> 01:46:22,780 Can we talk about this later? Watch it. 1261 01:46:25,080 --> 01:46:27,540 I waited for you. 1262 01:46:34,590 --> 01:46:37,380 Now put the gun on my head and pull the trigger. 1263 01:46:37,430 --> 01:46:39,680 The bullet should take us both out. 1264 01:46:39,760 --> 01:46:41,760 What? Is that the best idea you've got? 1265 01:46:41,850 --> 01:46:44,270 It's the only thing I can remember from the movies 1266 01:46:44,350 --> 01:46:45,550 that makes any sense... 1267 01:46:48,940 --> 01:46:50,820 Get your undead dicks 1268 01:46:50,900 --> 01:46:53,490 out of my drive-in! 1269 01:46:55,990 --> 01:46:58,330 Old turkey! 1270 01:46:58,410 --> 01:47:01,500 This way, jerk offs! Follow me! 1271 01:47:03,910 --> 01:47:06,910 Amscra you two. Get to the chopper. Go. 1272 01:47:12,840 --> 01:47:14,260 Where are the keys? 1273 01:47:14,340 --> 01:47:15,760 I don't know. You have them. 1274 01:47:15,800 --> 01:47:17,140 What? No, I gave them to you. 1275 01:47:17,220 --> 01:47:18,260 I gave them to you! 1276 01:47:18,340 --> 01:47:19,710 Check your pockets. 1277 01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:21,170 I got 'em! 1278 01:47:21,260 --> 01:47:22,760 Behind you! 1279 01:47:25,470 --> 01:47:26,930 In. In. In. Get in! 1280 01:47:27,020 --> 01:47:29,070 Open the door! Unlock it. 1281 01:47:29,150 --> 01:47:30,690 Get in. 1282 01:47:34,440 --> 01:47:36,770 "Hasta la vista, baby ." 1283 01:47:36,860 --> 01:47:39,980 "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". 1284 01:47:40,070 --> 01:47:43,700 "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." 1285 01:47:43,780 --> 01:47:47,370 "Yippie ki yay motherfucker." 1286 01:47:47,460 --> 01:47:50,800 "What we have here is a failure to communicate". 1287 01:47:53,210 --> 01:47:54,910 "Goonies never say die!" 1288 01:47:56,880 --> 01:48:00,170 "I'm getting too old for this shit". 1289 01:48:00,260 --> 01:48:02,180 This way, perverts! 1290 01:48:02,260 --> 01:48:05,300 Follow the Pied Piper and his sweet asshole! 1291 01:48:06,850 --> 01:48:08,650 Cinema is dead. 1292 01:48:11,690 --> 01:48:13,820 Oh! 1293 01:48:13,900 --> 01:48:16,240 "Say hello to my little friend!" 1294 01:48:22,110 --> 01:48:25,900 a better contender! 1295 01:48:25,990 --> 01:48:29,570 "Rosebud, motherfucker"! 1296 01:48:31,040 --> 01:48:32,700 Oh, God. 1297 01:48:32,790 --> 01:48:34,390 I think that was uncle Cecil's curtain call. 1298 01:48:34,420 --> 01:48:36,260 Well, that's a way to find out. Huh? 1299 01:48:36,340 --> 01:48:37,510 Keys to ignition. Go! 1300 01:48:37,550 --> 01:48:39,470 Okay. 1301 01:48:39,550 --> 01:48:41,600 No, no, no. 1302 01:48:41,680 --> 01:48:44,020 Come on. This isn't supposed to happen. 1303 01:48:44,050 --> 01:48:46,340 We're supposed to survive. Fuck. 1304 01:48:46,430 --> 01:48:49,800 This is it. 1305 01:48:49,890 --> 01:48:51,850 Wait! You still have the... 1306 01:48:53,350 --> 01:48:55,060 Fresh out. 1307 01:48:55,150 --> 01:48:56,740 Damn it! 1308 01:48:56,820 --> 01:48:59,360 What do we do now? 1309 01:48:59,440 --> 01:49:02,360 Well, we can just sit here 1310 01:49:02,400 --> 01:49:05,240 and wait for them to turn us into human sex toys. 1311 01:49:05,320 --> 01:49:08,570 Okay. Already not digging doing number one. 1312 01:49:08,660 --> 01:49:12,580 Or, 1313 01:49:20,130 --> 01:49:25,760 We spend the last night of our lives together 1314 01:49:25,840 --> 01:49:29,720 and give these fuckers one hell of a show. 1315 01:49:29,770 --> 01:49:34,230 I have to admit that's one hell of a plan. 1316 01:49:34,310 --> 01:49:37,270 Let's do it. Wait. 1317 01:49:41,900 --> 01:49:44,270 Funny. Did you ever think 1318 01:49:44,360 --> 01:49:47,320 this would be the moment you became a man? 1319 01:49:47,410 --> 01:49:50,580 Actually, it was during an alien invasion 1320 01:49:50,660 --> 01:49:53,160 but it really doesn't matter what the scenario. 1321 01:49:53,250 --> 01:49:55,590 Why's that? 1322 01:49:55,620 --> 01:49:58,580 Because I always knew it would be with you. 1323 01:50:01,170 --> 01:50:04,590 You are so cool. 1324 01:50:04,630 --> 01:50:06,920 True romance. 1325 01:50:16,940 --> 01:50:17,980 Wait. Wait. 1326 01:50:18,060 --> 01:50:19,140 What? What? 1327 01:50:19,230 --> 01:50:21,940 Do you have a condom? 1328 01:50:21,980 --> 01:50:23,190 Really? 1329 01:50:23,280 --> 01:50:25,410 I'm kidding. 1330 01:51:00,520 --> 01:51:02,810 Fantastic! Now that's an ending. 1331 01:51:02,900 --> 01:51:04,060 Fuck Hollywood! 1332 01:51:04,150 --> 01:51:05,730 Really? Boring. 1333 01:51:05,820 --> 01:51:06,870 Boring? 1334 01:51:06,950 --> 01:51:08,410 Not enough tits. 1335 01:51:08,490 --> 01:51:10,750 Actually, it was kinda bittersweet. 1336 01:51:10,820 --> 01:51:13,150 You know? Like the ending of E.T. 1337 01:51:13,240 --> 01:51:15,370 Why does everything gotta be E.T. with you? 1338 01:51:15,450 --> 01:51:16,570 Come on. Let's go. 1339 01:51:16,660 --> 01:51:18,240 E.T.'s gay. 1340 01:51:19,630 --> 01:51:21,510 How... He's a plant. 1341 01:51:21,590 --> 01:51:24,010 He can't be gay. He's a pla... He's a plant. 1342 01:51:24,090 --> 01:51:26,050 Would you be gay if you were a plant? 1343 01:52:13,550 --> 01:52:15,720 It is a biological anomaly 1344 01:52:15,810 --> 01:52:19,150 the likes of which the medical community has never seen. 1345 01:52:19,230 --> 01:52:21,440 Miles' unique body chemistry 1346 01:52:21,520 --> 01:52:23,890 clashed with the Plutoneide and the Spermupermine 1347 01:52:23,940 --> 01:52:26,700 mutating his spermatozzoa during spermatogenesis 1348 01:52:26,780 --> 01:52:29,070 in a way that no one could've expected. 1349 01:52:29,150 --> 01:52:30,940 Spermatium are by their very nature 1350 01:52:31,030 --> 01:52:33,410 a very determined and resilient organism 1351 01:52:33,450 --> 01:52:36,080 genetically programmed to overcome all obstacles 1352 01:52:36,160 --> 01:52:38,240 defy all odds and hit the target. 1353 01:52:38,330 --> 01:52:40,670 Or die trying. 1354 01:52:40,750 --> 01:52:42,000 Perhaps... 1355 01:52:42,080 --> 01:52:44,080 You can view this disaster 1356 01:52:44,130 --> 01:52:46,800 as a kind of cautionary tale 1357 01:52:46,880 --> 01:52:49,590 against the misuse of a yet to be fully understood 1358 01:52:49,630 --> 01:52:51,920 era in atomic energy. 1359 01:52:52,010 --> 01:52:54,430 God help us all. 1360 01:59:46,550 --> 01:59:47,680 Ba-bye. 92811

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