Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,840
Here's to you, baby.
2
00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:49,260
Ten years of misery.
3
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,600
Sláinte.
4
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,650
You never did like
taking it on the face.
5
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,780
Well how's that now, huh?
6
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,780
Come to think of it,
7
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,650
I think it's high time
8
00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:06,490
I cashed in on all those years
9
00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:10,040
you never tended to my needs.
10
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:14,500
Whine, whine, whine.
Me, me, me.
11
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:16,630
Well what about me?
12
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,290
Huh?
13
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:20,710
I'm thinking it's time
14
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,470
for a little bit of dead head.
15
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,720
You won't mind. Much.
16
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:30,400
Shit.
17
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:34,690
Jesus and mother of God!
18
00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:36,350
Fuck.
19
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,240
Let go of my meat!
20
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,150
Let go of my meat!
21
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,640
No. No. No. No. No. No.
22
00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:18,270
No! You bitch!
23
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,240
You bit off my bean bag!
24
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:26,830
Fucker!
25
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,410
Yeah?
26
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,580
Balls! He is?
27
00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,450
Yeah, I'll be there,
I'll be there, yeah.
28
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,710
Jesus wept! Yeah, fine!
29
00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:50,590
I'm late for work.
30
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:32,160
Will you stop touching that.
31
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,800
Honey, what is... What
was the station again?
32
00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:36,220
I can never remember the number.
33
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,470
I don't know.
34
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,560
You're supposed to know
35
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:42,360
'cause I can never remember,
so it's your job to remember.
36
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,480
Well, remind me why
we're bringing our baby
37
00:04:44,570 --> 00:04:46,700
to an all-night
splatter fest again.
38
00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:51,200
Are you serious? I wish that I had
parents as cool as.
39
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:54,170
He's gonna be so prepared
for life in modern America,
40
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,710
after this evening of films.
41
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:57,590
I know.
42
00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,210
Yeah.
43
00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,630
I love it when the old man
44
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,610
pumps golden moldies in the
channel after the all-nighters.
45
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,630
You know, I'm totally
puts me in the mood.
46
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,990
Yeah, look what happened the
last time Otis Redding was on.
47
00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,130
Uh-huh? Uh-huh.
48
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,720
Do you want a brother?
49
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:14,310
Little brother, daddy.
50
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,480
All right, Tobe. Six
degrees, Kevin Bacon, Bela Lugosi.
51
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,720
Hit it!
52
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,640
Oh, no.
53
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,890
Oh man, this should be cake
and ice cream for you.
54
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:24,690
Oh, come on.
Forget it, I... I...
55
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,660
I guess this encyclopedia
is human after all.
56
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:30,200
So what movie is everyone
freaking out about?
57
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,150
'Cause I'm going into the.
58
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,160
Well, I haven't seen any of them.
Apparently, Mr. K.,
59
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,660
has the only prints of
these things in existence.
60
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:41,380
It's like ultra rare Holy Grail shit.
Right, Tobes?
61
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,580
Yeah, this being the last hurrah
and all is the best time as ever
62
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:47,340
to unleash the terror,
the blood, the boobs!
63
00:05:47,420 --> 00:05:48,920
More blood!
More boobs!
64
00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:51,220
Hurray for boobs.
65
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,340
What was it like
working here, I mean,
66
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:55,340
Hog heaven, right?
67
00:05:55,390 --> 00:05:57,930
No, nerdgasm. I saw the
movie Hungry Hungry Hippos
68
00:05:58,020 --> 00:05:59,730
13 times!
69
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:02,600
I see no nutritional value
in that whatsoever.
70
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:04,360
Hey, you asked!
And besides,
71
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,940
it gave you an excuse
to almost talk
72
00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:07,450
to a certain
concession employee.
73
00:06:07,530 --> 00:06:09,030
Wait. Almost?
74
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,110
So you haven't even like...
75
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,750
No. Okay?
We haven't even.
76
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,900
We're taking it slow.
77
00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:17,870
Mm-hm. And by "slow" he means
turn the other way and walk fast.
78
00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:19,780
So you haven't
even talked to her?
79
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,620
It's like this.
80
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:24,970
A girl like Desi is never
gonna go out with me
81
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,880
so I figure, why not
hold on to the hope
82
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,420
instead of suffer
the disappointment?
83
00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:29,800
You should at least talk to her
84
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,420
before you go back to school.
85
00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,460
At least then you
could make a piece.
86
00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:35,130
Yeah, look who's talking potsy!
87
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,970
Well, what the fuck
does that mean?
88
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,310
Oh, nothing.
89
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:40,100
Yeah, nothing, just...
90
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:42,110
Look, Kevin Bacon
and Elvis Presley.
91
00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,820
Let's do it.
92
00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:47,480
Admit two.
93
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:48,990
There you go, kids.
94
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:51,490
Just pull up
to the front row spot
95
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:54,570
and tune your tunes
to 106. 1 and enjoy.
96
00:06:56,410 --> 00:07:01,370
It's gonna be a hell of a night!
97
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,090
Yeah, thanks.
98
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:08,430
"It's gonna be a hell of a
night!" Fuck you, get real.
99
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,590
I'm so glad to see this
fucking dump decimated.
100
00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:12,210
Jesus, man.
Lighten up.
101
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:13,550
Oh, I'll lighten up tomorrow
102
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,520
when the bulldozzers gas up.
103
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,100
So remind me why we're here
instead of Schneideman's.
104
00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:19,640
Because I pulled the short straw
105
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,350
and got stuck
with baby sitting duty.
106
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,480
9:00 AM this is another
fine Blumps location.
107
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,280
Until then, I gotta keep
an eye on the old man
108
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,630
make sure he doesn't
pull any shenanigans.
109
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:30,480
Well, Mr. Sourpuss.
110
00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:32,950
Excuse me, that's Junior
VP at Marketing Sourpuss.
111
00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:35,160
Okay, Mr. VP Poopy Pants,
112
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,820
I promise to make
tonight worth your while.
113
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,920
Oh.
114
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:48,800
Show starts in five minutes.
115
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,990
I don't know, Orson.
116
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:12,990
Looks like last licks
for us old bones.
117
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:17,080
I'm gonna miss all this.
118
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,330
This was my favorite part.
119
00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:23,960
The preparation
and anticipation.
120
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:28,170
The threading,
splicing the reels,
121
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,750
and always racing the clock.
122
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,550
Betty and I, we never
missed a single listing.
123
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:38,170
In the gate and don't be late.
124
00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,220
You taught me that.
125
00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,440
My rosebud.
126
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,400
Well, who needs
to be on time now
127
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,280
when you've got demanding video
128
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,280
and high definition crap?
129
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,950
You can get anytime at home.
130
00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:59,250
Who needs the old
night out under the stars
131
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,400
with some movie magic anymore?
132
00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:04,450
That's what you
were all about. Right?
133
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:08,550
Magic tricks and slight of hand.
134
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,800
Nobody cares for magic anymore.
135
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,050
Nope.
136
00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,390
The world gets smaller.
137
00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:18,470
And soul mates fade away
138
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:22,050
like old Kodak film stock.
139
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,690
But nothing's gonna stop me
140
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:26,230
from sharing a bit
of that magic tonight!
141
00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:28,940
Right?
142
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:32,730
But, much like anything else...
143
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,570
Now she's gone.
144
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:47,420
Now this place
is pretty much gone.
145
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:52,300
And like tomorrow,
146
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,720
I may be gone, too.
147
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,600
Fade to black. Right?
148
00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:02,840
Or maybe a smash cut!
149
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:07,150
Jumping Jesus!
Jehoshaphat Floyd.
150
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:09,320
Heart hopping Christ,
you're late, man.
151
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:11,310
Sorry, boss, I've been, uh,
152
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,030
I've been dealing with some...
153
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,700
Family matters.
154
00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:17,870
Well, there's no need
for excuses now,
155
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,270
I'm already done
threading the first film.
156
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,860
Good God, man!
157
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:25,370
What have you been
sticking your dick into?
158
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,890
You look like hell
on a hand grenade.
159
00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:29,070
I've been under the weather.
160
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,120
Look, why don't you just go
check in with concessions,
161
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:33,710
see if Desi needs some help?
162
00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:35,460
Sounds good. Okay.
163
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,040
And for Christ's sake, man,
164
00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:40,380
clean yourself up!
165
00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:48,810
It's show-time!
166
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,570
Well, hell, ell, ell,
ello, kiddies!
167
00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:01,570
It's your old friend,
Uncle Cecil,
168
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:04,370
welcoming you to the final,
169
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:07,580
ghoulish night of murder
170
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:11,200
and mayhem!
171
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:14,510
Yes, my ghouls and gals,
172
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:19,460
it's time for Chillerama!
173
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:28,050
Sit back, poke a hole in the
bottom of your pop-corn bag,
174
00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:31,150
cuddle up to the closest corpse
175
00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:34,190
and prepare yourself
176
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:36,810
for this evening's
177
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:42,200
first squishy selection.
178
00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:48,790
Wadzilla!
179
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:26,740
Excuse me, Dr. Weems.
180
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,740
Miles Munson's
lab work is ready.
181
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,710
Tell him I'll be right in.
182
00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:32,420
Okay.
183
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:36,090
I never heard of a sperm bank
184
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,620
turning anyone down before.
185
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,210
You can imagine my nervousness
186
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:41,210
when they suggested
I see a urologist.
187
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,050
It isn't anything
serious, is it?
188
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,420
Life-threatening, no.
189
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:46,760
As a matter of concern, yes.
190
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:50,930
Have a look in there, Miles.
191
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:56,430
Wow! Look
at them all go.
192
00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,490
That is an
example or normal sperm.
193
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:04,660
And that is your sperm.
194
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,540
Yikes.
195
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,360
That doesn't look good.
196
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:18,700
Miles, there's a new medication
I'd like to suggest you try.
197
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:21,620
It's called Spermupermine.
198
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:25,540
Now, it can't increase
the sperm you generate
199
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,460
but what it can do,
200
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:30,180
is strengthen the sperm
you already produce.
201
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,880
Spermupermine?
202
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:35,890
Yes. It hasn't been
approved by the FDA yet,
203
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,520
but it is available
to test subjects.
204
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,600
Luckily for you, I'm on the
research board.
205
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,650
Thank you, doctor.
206
00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,160
Good morning, kids!
207
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,490
It's the Captain Fatso Show.
208
00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:53,740
And I'm Captain Fatso!
209
00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:59,840
Well, ahoy there, Captain Fatso,
210
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,550
say, are those gumdrops I smell?
211
00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:05,590
Look kids, it's
Dudley Dingleberry!
212
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,500
I'm starving!
213
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,880
I haven't even had
breakfast yet!
214
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:17,010
Let me tell you
about the new sponsor!
215
00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:33,490
Peanut Mush is now enhanced
216
00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:35,710
with new flavored chemicals.
217
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:40,290
Makes your breakfast even
more scrump-dilly-dumptious!
218
00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:42,290
Sounds de-lish.
219
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,550
Morning, Miles.
220
00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:51,750
Uh, morning, Larry.
221
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,010
Hey, you still single, buddy?
222
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:54,760
Unfortunately.
223
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,850
My wife's college roommate
just got divorced
224
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,640
and moved to town.
Perfect for you.
225
00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,450
You should take her to
dinner tomorrow night.
226
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,200
Absolutely not. No way,
no more blind dates.
227
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:04,110
Not after last time.
228
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,570
Come on, she's perfect. You
should just do this, okay?
229
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,910
She's cute. She's not looking
for anything serious.
230
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,060
Just a little companionship.
You know?
231
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,680
Oh.
232
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:45,930
Allow me.
233
00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,280
Oh.
234
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,630
Miles, are you okay?
235
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,460
Come here.
236
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:10,330
I just had a horrible
shooting pain in my balls.
237
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:12,380
You think you sat on your
balls when you sat down?
238
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:14,040
I don't know.
239
00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:16,550
Oh! You twisted the veins
in your testicles.
240
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,020
Classic vein twist.
241
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,350
Okay. Okay.
242
00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:21,840
I'm good.
243
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:22,930
I'm so...
244
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:33,320
Okay, onto the consolidation
of our acquisitions
245
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,860
of General Textile Industries
246
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,240
and MBT Plastics.
247
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,780
For a brief overview,
248
00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:39,540
we'd like to
introduce to you all
249
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,500
the newest member
of our department,
250
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,540
Andie Sumner.
251
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,000
Hello, gentlemen.
252
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,710
Oh!
253
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,670
I'm such a klutzz.
254
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,430
Oh.
255
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,350
Are you okay?
256
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,850
Someone, help him up.
257
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:15,730
No, I'm all right.
I'm all right.
258
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:17,570
I'm all right.
259
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,200
Ugh. I just need
a little bit of air.
260
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,700
I'm sorry. Excuse me for one second.
261
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,210
I don't know
if it has anything to do
262
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,880
with the pills that you gave me,
263
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,340
but every time I get
the least bit aroused
264
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:32,050
I get the most intense
shooting pain
265
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:34,050
through my testicles.
266
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:37,290
Tsk. Well, there's only
one way to find out.
267
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,430
What in God's name...
268
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:54,310
Miles? Are you
all right?
269
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,060
I think so.
270
00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,400
Give me the sample, Miles,
271
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,300
so we can get it under the
microscope right away.
272
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:07,880
I don't think you're
gonna need a microscope.
273
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,160
Oh!
274
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:19,920
My God.
275
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:21,640
What's wrong with me?
276
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,850
It's impossible,
but it would appear
277
00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:26,890
that the Spermupermine has had an
adverse effect on your system.
278
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,930
It's not only strengthening
your spermatozzoa
279
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,520
but it's causing it to grow
280
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,350
to gargantuan proportions.
281
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:37,110
And traditionally, when
a man experiences arousal,
282
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,940
his testicles produce
more sperm.
283
00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:41,330
But in your case, however,
284
00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:43,120
when you get turned on,
285
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,460
the one sperm you do have
286
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,700
gets huge.
287
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:56,300
I'm gonna send this to the
National Institute of Health
288
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:58,890
in Washington for analysis.
289
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,880
Discontinue use
of the medication immediately.
290
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:06,880
If you feel your
sperm enlarging again
291
00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,220
you get it out of your
system right away.
292
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:10,310
Get it out of my system?
293
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,640
Jerk off! Fast!
294
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,370
Hi.
295
00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,260
You must be Miles.
296
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,340
I'm Louise.
297
00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:51,430
No.
298
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,980
Oh, my God! What happened?
Are you...
299
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:54,850
Are you okay?
300
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,610
May I use your bathroom
just for a minute, please?
301
00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,100
Of course.
302
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,480
Come right in.
303
00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:02,700
Right down the hall.
304
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,240
I'll just be one second
and I'll be back.
305
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,610
Oh.
306
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:25,050
Molly, just what kind of a nut did
you and Larry set me up with?
307
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:28,590
Hon, Louise says that Miles
showed up at her door,
308
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,810
grabbed his crotch and
started screaming. Wha...
309
00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:33,720
He's... He's
in the bathroom now,
310
00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:36,070
he's making weird...
I can hear him.
311
00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:38,570
Louise, Miles twisted a
vein in one of his testicles.
312
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,650
Yeah, it hurts him sometimes.
313
00:20:40,730 --> 00:20:42,210
He feels bad about it.
Don't make a fuss over it.
314
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,620
He's a good guy.
315
00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,940
Okay. That is enough
out of you.
316
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,610
I'm so sorry. No,
it's gonna be okay.
317
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,080
He's just a brute.
318
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,580
That guy is such an asshole.
319
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:52,990
I can hear him.
320
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,420
The poor guy...
321
00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:56,920
Now I just feel sorry for him.
322
00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:11,390
She hung up.
323
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:03,650
Miles?
324
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,900
Are you all right in there?
325
00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:16,910
Ugh!
326
00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:30,010
That was a close one.
327
00:22:32,390 --> 00:22:35,480
Oh, no!
328
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,980
Miles.
329
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,610
I'm getting very concerned.
330
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,720
It sounds like something
broke in there.
331
00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:43,350
You don't happen to
have a plunger, do you?
332
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,400
Oh.
333
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,440
Just what in the hell
happened in here?
334
00:22:48,530 --> 00:22:50,950
I'm on a new medication.
335
00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,030
Oh!
336
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,200
Oh, my God!
337
00:23:00,210 --> 00:23:01,880
It's getting bigger!
338
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,380
Run!
339
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,890
No!
340
00:23:10,930 --> 00:23:12,760
Run!
341
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,090
Ugh.
342
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,900
Oh!
343
00:24:15,110 --> 00:24:17,280
Um.
344
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,030
I can explain that.
345
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,370
He's a nice guy, don't
get me wrong, but...
346
00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:25,210
"Nice" just don't
count in the bedroom
347
00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:27,660
when you got a baby gherkin
between your legs.
348
00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:29,460
Come on, Stewie. Make
a poo poo for momma,
349
00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:32,090
Come on, be a good boy.
I'm not exaggerating.
350
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:33,790
The guy's hung like Howdy Doody,
351
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,090
and that's being generous.
352
00:24:36,970 --> 00:24:39,310
Of course I'm
gonna see him again.
353
00:24:39,350 --> 00:24:41,060
Did you see his car?
It's a Cadillac.
354
00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:43,140
No, that sizze was more
than acceptable...
355
00:24:44,690 --> 00:24:46,570
Stewie! Will you
please shut up?
356
00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:50,360
I'm sorry. He flunked obedience school.
The mongoloid.
357
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:09,290
Why does it smell like Ajax?
358
00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:11,720
Stewie! Ow! You almost
dislocated my...
359
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,350
Stewie?
360
00:25:19,850 --> 00:25:21,850
I have to call you back, mom.
361
00:25:21,930 --> 00:25:24,260
Stewie just escaped
from his leash again.
362
00:25:26,690 --> 00:25:28,230
There you are.
363
00:25:29,980 --> 00:25:31,560
You furry fugitive, you.
364
00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:33,070
You'd better get
your little butt
365
00:25:33,150 --> 00:25:34,520
over here before...
366
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,280
You almost gave me
a heart attack.
367
00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:53,730
Me too!
368
00:26:56,900 --> 00:27:00,110
What'd you get?
369
00:27:06,370 --> 00:27:07,620
A Milk Dud.
370
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,340
So, what did you find?
371
00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:16,130
Half a rotisserie
372
00:27:16,210 --> 00:27:18,290
chicken.
373
00:27:18,380 --> 00:27:20,630
You're gonna split that
with me, right?
374
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,180
Yeah. Maybe.
375
00:27:22,260 --> 00:27:24,970
For a hand job.
376
00:27:27,350 --> 00:27:29,560
Don't be such a prude, Babs.
377
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,560
It's not like you ain't done
it 100,000 times already.
378
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:34,980
Sp... Sperm!
379
00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:37,140
Exactly!
380
00:27:55,170 --> 00:27:57,220
Bob!
381
00:28:11,430 --> 00:28:13,600
I want to thank you for
being so understanding.
382
00:28:13,690 --> 00:28:16,030
You know, a lot of girls
would've run for the hills
383
00:28:16,110 --> 00:28:19,360
if the sperm of their blind date
shot up their skirt like that.
384
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,060
So, thanks again.
385
00:28:21,150 --> 00:28:23,440
I swear to God, I will
pay for any damages.
386
00:28:23,530 --> 00:28:26,040
Oh, please,
things can be replaced.
387
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,700
Testicles can't.
388
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:29,030
Now that's for sure.
389
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:33,420
I'm just glad
you're... Uh.
390
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,710
Louise? What's
the matter?
391
00:28:35,790 --> 00:28:38,370
Oh, my God.
392
00:28:38,420 --> 00:28:41,260
Miles. That's
your sperm.
393
00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:44,300
This just in.
The tadpole-like creature
394
00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:47,170
is running rampant
as it heads downtown.
395
00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:50,550
Five are dead already
and unconfirmed reports
396
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,400
claim the slimy beast is
now the sizze of a house
397
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,150
and growing!
398
00:28:55,230 --> 00:28:57,780
Military leaders
are described as "testy"
399
00:28:57,860 --> 00:29:01,610
when asked how to defend
against this gargantuan goo.
400
00:29:01,690 --> 00:29:03,770
The military is doing its best
401
00:29:03,860 --> 00:29:07,900
to determine what it would take
to rub one out of this sizze.
402
00:29:07,990 --> 00:29:09,570
What are we gonna do?
403
00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:12,420
We gotta get the authorities.
Come on!
404
00:29:12,490 --> 00:29:15,620
Citizzens are asked to use
whatever protection they can
405
00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:18,090
and avoid the creature's
immediate vicinity
406
00:29:18,170 --> 00:29:20,760
which authorities are
calling, "the wet spot".
407
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,600
We're reporting live
from downtown Manhattan
408
00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:38,730
at the epicenter
of the crisis zzone
409
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:41,270
with a sperm creature which has
now risen to five stories high
410
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,610
and apparently still growing has
been wreaking havoc on New York.
411
00:29:44,690 --> 00:29:47,980
The Mayor is insisting that all
New Yorkers remain in their homes
412
00:29:48,070 --> 00:29:50,820
until further...
Oh, my God.
413
00:29:50,910 --> 00:29:52,330
It's coming.
414
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,980
The stupendous spermatozzoa
is ravaging through Central Park.
415
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,960
Oh, the humanity!
416
00:30:28,650 --> 00:30:31,400
The spermicide is having
absolutely no effect.
417
00:30:31,490 --> 00:30:33,400
What does this sperm want, doc?
418
00:30:33,490 --> 00:30:36,240
What every sperm wants, General.
To fertilizze an ovum!
419
00:30:36,330 --> 00:30:38,580
There's not an ovum
on God's green earth
420
00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:40,410
big enough for that thing.
421
00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:41,890
Wait! I just
figured it out.
422
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,630
The Statue of Liberty.
423
00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:46,080
It's the only conceivable
female large enough.
424
00:31:57,410 --> 00:32:00,670
Steady. Steady.
425
00:32:11,510 --> 00:32:12,760
Ah! Dammit.
426
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:13,720
Oh, my God!
427
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,210
Don't panic,
428
00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:17,090
there's gotta
be another one here.
429
00:32:17,140 --> 00:32:18,520
No time. Look!
430
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,130
Attention!
431
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,700
This is General Bukkake.
432
00:32:44,790 --> 00:32:47,870
Initiate Operation
Moneyshot. Three.
433
00:32:50,050 --> 00:32:52,430
Two!
434
00:32:52,510 --> 00:32:53,760
One!
435
00:33:34,090 --> 00:33:36,350
Ah.
436
00:33:36,430 --> 00:33:38,390
[Ugh.
437
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:43,690
Some first date, huh?
438
00:33:53,860 --> 00:33:55,870
You can say that again.
439
00:33:57,950 --> 00:33:59,870
Well, at least
it's good for the skin.
440
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:01,120
Yeah.
441
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,450
What?
442
00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:13,460
What's the matter?
443
00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:14,630
Nothing.
444
00:34:24,060 --> 00:34:25,730
Miles!
445
00:34:25,770 --> 00:34:27,400
All right.
446
00:34:27,430 --> 00:34:29,140
Fuck it.
447
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,820
Hm.
448
00:34:56,130 --> 00:34:57,640
Oh, yeah.
Classic cinema.
449
00:34:57,710 --> 00:34:59,170
Wow.
450
00:34:59,260 --> 00:35:02,010
If you liked Remains of the Day
451
00:35:02,090 --> 00:35:05,340
then you'll cream over Wadzilla.
452
00:35:05,430 --> 00:35:07,130
You know?
453
00:35:07,220 --> 00:35:08,930
Not enough tits.
454
00:35:09,020 --> 00:35:12,150
Wow. Ryan.
Be your brother much?
455
00:35:12,230 --> 00:35:14,190
Mayna, don't insult me.
456
00:35:14,270 --> 00:35:17,770
Okay, substance run.
I am so thirsty.
457
00:35:17,820 --> 00:35:19,780
Oh, no. Sit tight.
Sit tight. I'll go.
458
00:35:19,820 --> 00:35:22,070
I got this.
I got this one.
459
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,410
What?
460
00:35:23,490 --> 00:35:24,610
Nothing.
461
00:35:24,700 --> 00:35:25,960
I just wanna make sure
462
00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:27,490
my friends are well fueled.
463
00:35:27,580 --> 00:35:29,630
Hm. Sure.
464
00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,660
What do you want?
465
00:35:31,750 --> 00:35:33,250
Get me some red vines.
No popcorn.
466
00:35:33,330 --> 00:35:34,830
No corn?
467
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,470
Nope. No popcorn
for me, but,
468
00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:38,680
a Coke would be
delightful, Romeo.
469
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,550
All right.
Red Vines. Check.
470
00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:42,960
Coke. Check.
Fuck off. Check.
471
00:35:43,050 --> 00:35:46,840
Back before flick two.
You kids, be good now.
472
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,400
Oh. Uh. MilkDuds.
473
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:51,150
Gremlins.
474
00:35:51,180 --> 00:35:52,760
Yeah!
475
00:35:55,060 --> 00:35:56,180
So...
476
00:35:56,270 --> 00:35:57,690
Uh...
477
00:35:57,770 --> 00:36:00,560
Robert England
to Kane Hodder. Go.
478
00:36:00,650 --> 00:36:01,900
God, I love you.
479
00:36:01,990 --> 00:36:03,080
What?
480
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,370
Uh, nothing, nothing.
481
00:36:04,450 --> 00:36:06,370
Uh, well, that's easy...
482
00:36:06,450 --> 00:36:08,870
Stop the show.
483
00:36:08,950 --> 00:36:10,610
Here's news you want to know.
484
00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:13,160
We just got a shipment of...
485
00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:14,800
Dude!
486
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,670
Hey, you get me snackage?
Thank you.
487
00:36:16,710 --> 00:36:18,080
Oh, I am?
488
00:36:18,170 --> 00:36:21,000
Come on, cum bubble.
I'm busy.
489
00:36:21,090 --> 00:36:22,090
Hi, Ryan.
490
00:36:22,130 --> 00:36:23,380
Hi, Laura.
491
00:36:23,470 --> 00:36:24,890
You gonna go talk to Desi?
492
00:36:24,970 --> 00:36:26,560
Why does everyone
know about this?
493
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,100
Popcorn. Extra
butter. Andale.
494
00:36:28,180 --> 00:36:29,880
How about some money, prick?
495
00:36:29,970 --> 00:36:32,260
Put it on my tab, douche.
496
00:36:32,350 --> 00:36:34,220
Asshole.
497
00:36:34,310 --> 00:36:36,680
I think your brother's cute.
498
00:36:36,730 --> 00:36:38,520
I think my brother's a fagot.
499
00:36:42,940 --> 00:36:45,190
Enjoy the show.
500
00:36:46,030 --> 00:36:47,030
Hi, Des.
501
00:36:47,070 --> 00:36:48,070
Hey, Daddy-O.
502
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,620
What's your tale nightingale?
503
00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:50,910
Nothing much.
504
00:36:50,990 --> 00:36:52,410
Pretty crazzy outside, huh?
505
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,880
It's never been this jammin'.
506
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,130
It's totally Antsville.
507
00:36:55,210 --> 00:36:56,550
Man.
508
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,120
Hey, you look so boss.
509
00:36:59,210 --> 00:37:00,540
You like it?
510
00:37:00,630 --> 00:37:02,260
I thought it'd be appropriate,
511
00:37:02,340 --> 00:37:03,140
last night and all.
512
00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:04,510
Sure.
513
00:37:04,590 --> 00:37:05,790
What can I do for ya?
514
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,050
Uh, I need a Twizzzzlers,
515
00:37:08,090 --> 00:37:10,300
a Coke and a popcorn,
516
00:37:10,390 --> 00:37:12,650
with extra extra
arsenic, please.
517
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:14,550
That last order
is for big brother?
518
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,260
How could you tell?
519
00:37:16,350 --> 00:37:18,390
Lucky guess. Let me
get that for ya.
520
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:19,890
Sure.
521
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,990
Snickers! Hey,
I'm sorry.
522
00:37:28,070 --> 00:37:29,440
We're all out of butter
523
00:37:29,530 --> 00:37:30,900
but I can go get some
real quick.
524
00:37:30,950 --> 00:37:32,400
Nah, it's not a problem,
525
00:37:32,490 --> 00:37:33,950
I don't wanna hold the line.
526
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,630
Nah, nah, it's okay.
527
00:37:35,710 --> 00:37:38,090
I'll be back in a jiff.
Just hold on, okay?
528
00:38:13,830 --> 00:38:15,830
Golly.
529
00:38:20,750 --> 00:38:22,790
Beach, blanket,
530
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,380
bingo!
531
00:38:24,460 --> 00:38:26,080
Hm. It's open.
532
00:38:44,150 --> 00:38:47,410
So how's the car? I saw you on
King last week, pretty cherry.
533
00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:50,330
You liked it? I got it right
outside if you wanna take a look.
534
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:51,980
Nifty. Really?
535
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:54,490
You know. Maybe before
I hit back upstate,
536
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:56,120
I'd like to take you
for a drive.
537
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,410
Gee whizz. Um, yeah,
but only if you come.
538
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,710
Hey, now.
539
00:39:01,790 --> 00:39:03,500
Well, kiddies.
540
00:39:03,590 --> 00:39:05,420
Ready for another rush
541
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:09,210
rock and shock and roll?
542
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:11,100
Shit. To be continued.
543
00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:14,020
Absolutely, big tickler.
Come back after this one?
544
00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:15,670
That's a promise, Suzzy Q.
545
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,340
Ryan?
546
00:39:17,430 --> 00:39:18,840
Yeah.
547
00:39:18,930 --> 00:39:20,890
That's ten dollars.
548
00:39:20,980 --> 00:39:22,230
Ah! Right. Right.
549
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,780
Come back, okay?
550
00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:29,410
Swearzzies. Hope to die.
Later gator.
551
00:39:29,490 --> 00:39:30,870
After a while, crocodile.
552
00:39:36,030 --> 00:39:37,910
Nice.
553
00:39:37,990 --> 00:39:40,620
This next class of cinematic sin
554
00:39:40,710 --> 00:39:43,460
stems from the outer reaches
555
00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:46,580
of Planet Taboo.
556
00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:49,930
So buckle up your seat belts...
557
00:39:50,010 --> 00:39:51,260
Hey!
558
00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:53,460
Hello?
559
00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:55,130
Dude, fuck-head,
my door!
560
00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:57,130
There's your fucking popcorn.
561
00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:58,430
Thanks, Ryan!
562
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,100
Penis.
563
00:40:00,180 --> 00:40:05,640
About to unleash
the fantastic furry fury
564
00:40:05,730 --> 00:40:11,230
ofl Was a Teenage Werebear.
565
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,590
Mark the
Shark rocking down the PCH
566
00:40:26,670 --> 00:40:28,300
with NBH.
567
00:40:28,380 --> 00:40:31,090
Yeah, baby, Bobby Vinton.
568
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,110
Peggy Lou, if you keep
groping like an octopus
569
00:40:46,190 --> 00:40:48,780
I'm gonna have to tell you.
570
00:40:48,860 --> 00:40:51,110
Now I'm gonna make you
love me like Elvis.
571
00:40:51,150 --> 00:40:52,690
Geezz, me just met last week
572
00:40:52,780 --> 00:40:54,490
ain't you ever heard
of taking it slow?
573
00:40:54,570 --> 00:40:56,780
Slow is
for old-fashioned girls,
574
00:40:56,870 --> 00:40:59,160
not a modern woman
like me, now get over here.
575
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,950
Are all the girls
in Malibu like you?
576
00:41:00,990 --> 00:41:03,240
Ricky, don't you like boobies?
577
00:41:03,330 --> 00:41:04,330
Hey, Ricky!
578
00:41:04,410 --> 00:41:06,290
President Kennedy
579
00:41:06,370 --> 00:41:09,370
says we're going to the moon!
580
00:41:11,460 --> 00:41:13,380
I see you finally found
your pot of gold, son.
581
00:41:13,470 --> 00:41:15,680
Hi, Mr. O'Reilly.
Hi, Jimmy.
582
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,220
Top 'o the mornin' to ya las.
I bless you child,
583
00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:20,800
for finally putting lrish
whiskey.
584
00:41:20,890 --> 00:41:22,520
Cut it, dad.
Nothing happened.
585
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,610
Rickie's mother,
God rest her soul,
586
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,560
never was much for lrish whiskey,
if you know what I mean.
587
00:41:27,650 --> 00:41:29,400
Oh, you poor old thing.
588
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,850
It's been a long, lonely life.
589
00:41:31,940 --> 00:41:33,650
Everybody, shut up!
590
00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:37,520
What are you two
even doing here, anyway?
591
00:41:37,610 --> 00:41:40,570
You forgot your lunch for school
on the beach day, dumdum.
592
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:46,870
Oh, you're tearing me apart!
593
00:41:51,670 --> 00:41:54,550
I swear, I'll never
be like my old man.
594
00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:56,840
He's such a perv.
595
00:41:56,930 --> 00:41:58,680
Oh, Rickie,
he isn't all that bad
596
00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:01,140
he just wants
what's best for his son.
597
00:42:01,220 --> 00:42:05,260
I just don't wanna be another washed
up jock slash war vet like him.
598
00:42:05,350 --> 00:42:07,010
There's more to life.
599
00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:10,930
No, there's more to me than,
600
00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:14,350
bouncing balls.
601
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,850
More to life than us?
602
00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:20,950
Ricky Patrick O'Reilly,
you're doing it again.
603
00:42:21,030 --> 00:42:22,780
Doing what?
604
00:42:22,870 --> 00:42:25,080
You're looking away.
605
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,620
♫ Is it something I do
It it something I say, ♫
606
00:42:35,710 --> 00:42:39,550
♫ Every time I'm with you
I see you looking away ♫
607
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:43,220
♫ They say the eyes are The soul,
doorway straight To your heart ♫
608
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:45,130
♫ if you won't
Ever stay close ♫
609
00:42:45,220 --> 00:42:49,180
♫ It's like
I just cut a fart ♫
610
00:42:51,190 --> 00:42:54,400
♫ Don't look away, baby ♫
611
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,810
♫ Please, don't look away ♫
612
00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:01,280
♫ Stare me straight
In the eyes ♫
613
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:05,650
♫ With our hands
Between my thighs ♫
614
00:43:05,740 --> 00:43:10,370
♫ So please don't look away ♫
615
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,180
♫ Baby give me some time
So I can make up my mind ♫
616
00:43:21,260 --> 00:43:22,930
♫ Just know
That it isn't you ♫
617
00:43:23,010 --> 00:43:24,920
♫ These feelings
Make me so blue ♫
618
00:43:25,010 --> 00:43:26,930
♫ I'm trying
Real hard to find ♫
619
00:43:26,970 --> 00:43:28,680
♫ The one
That makes me feel right ♫
620
00:43:28,770 --> 00:43:30,650
♫ Till then I guess
That it's you ♫
621
00:43:30,730 --> 00:43:33,690
♫ That's just the best
I can do ♫
622
00:43:33,770 --> 00:43:38,190
♫ So I look away, baby ♫
623
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,620
♫ I guess I'll look away ♫
624
00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:45,500
♫ I can't take our eyes ♫
625
00:43:45,580 --> 00:43:49,040
♫ For you might see
The lies ♫
626
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:54,540
♫ So I will look away ♫
627
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,640
♫ Don't look away ♫
628
00:43:59,710 --> 00:44:01,540
♫ I think
I'll look away ♫
629
00:44:01,630 --> 00:44:03,170
♫ Please
Don't look away ♫
630
00:44:03,260 --> 00:44:05,310
♫ I guess I'll look away ♫
631
00:44:05,390 --> 00:44:07,560
♫ Stare me straight
In the eye ♫
632
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,140
♫ I can't take your eyes ♫
633
00:44:09,220 --> 00:44:11,050
♫ Place your hands
Between my thighs ♫
634
00:44:11,140 --> 00:44:13,680
♫ For you might see
The lies ♫
635
00:44:16,770 --> 00:44:18,640
♫ Don't look away ♫
636
00:44:18,730 --> 00:44:20,480
♫ I think I'll look away ♫
637
00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:22,660
♫ Tear me up inside ♫
638
00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:25,410
♫ You make me
Wanna go hide ♫
639
00:44:25,490 --> 00:44:28,900
♫♫ I think I'll look away ♫♫
640
00:44:39,710 --> 00:44:41,250
You saved me.
641
00:44:41,340 --> 00:44:43,350
Quite observant.
642
00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:47,010
Whoa. You dented
my Bronco.
643
00:44:47,050 --> 00:44:48,420
You dented her.
644
00:44:48,510 --> 00:44:52,090
I got a boo boo.
645
00:44:52,180 --> 00:44:54,760
I see the new kid's making
nice with the other team.
646
00:44:54,850 --> 00:44:57,720
What team would that be, Butch?
647
00:44:57,810 --> 00:44:59,770
The team
648
00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:02,660
no God-fearing
red-blooded American
649
00:45:02,740 --> 00:45:04,950
would be caught
dead playing for.
650
00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:06,580
I toss balls with the boys.
651
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:09,450
Exactly.
652
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,910
Look, Butch.
She needs help.
653
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,130
The kind of help that bird
needs ain't gonna come
654
00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:20,760
from a Melvin like you.
655
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,050
Ooooh.
656
00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:27,600
See ya in class, bitch sticks.
657
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,060
She don't look so good.
658
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,520
I've seen worse.
659
00:45:35,020 --> 00:45:37,070
I don't know how to thank you.
660
00:45:37,100 --> 00:45:40,430
You'll think of something. They
always think of something.
661
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,480
Wait. What's your names?
662
00:45:44,490 --> 00:45:48,160
Talon. Dan. Den.
663
00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:49,290
I'm...
664
00:45:49,370 --> 00:45:51,660
Ricky. We know.
665
00:46:06,090 --> 00:46:09,590
You did good bringing her to me.
666
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:13,520
With a little snoozze she'll be A-okay.
667
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,770
Shouldn't we bring
her to the hospital?
668
00:46:15,850 --> 00:46:18,180
♫ You got a pee pee
Stick it in my poo poo ♫
669
00:46:18,270 --> 00:46:20,110
♫♫ Make it go boom! ♫♫
670
00:46:20,190 --> 00:46:24,320
The brains, they spill a
little bit crazzy. She fine.
671
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,980
Ricky. Ricky.
672
00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:35,610
Go away, you nasty beasty!
673
00:46:35,700 --> 00:46:40,290
Take your filthy vermin with you.
Shoo! Shoo!
674
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:10,620
Shoo!
675
00:47:10,700 --> 00:47:12,660
Shoo!
676
00:47:12,740 --> 00:47:18,200
Take your foul animules with you.
Shoo. Shoo.
677
00:47:18,290 --> 00:47:22,170
You stay away from those kind.
678
00:47:22,210 --> 00:47:25,220
Yeah, well those kind saved me.
679
00:48:00,870 --> 00:48:03,290
So Big Bad Butch
ain't so bad after all.
680
00:48:03,370 --> 00:48:05,290
Aw, the heck with that, coach!
681
00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:07,550
Tinker Bell didn't pin me.
682
00:48:07,630 --> 00:48:09,340
I was distracted.
683
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:12,150
All right. Who's next?
684
00:48:12,170 --> 00:48:13,960
Me.
685
00:48:14,050 --> 00:48:17,470
Oh, so I see Mr.
Ducktale
686
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,650
finally decided to join us
in class this semester.
687
00:48:20,730 --> 00:48:22,650
Couldn't get a note
from your quack?
688
00:48:22,730 --> 00:48:24,110
Them two are sweet
on each other.
689
00:48:24,190 --> 00:48:25,940
Take that back, Butch!
690
00:48:26,020 --> 00:48:28,390
Yo! Yo! Save
it for the mat.
691
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,810
I don't mind if I do.
692
00:48:37,990 --> 00:48:39,280
Give in, Rick.
693
00:48:39,370 --> 00:48:40,420
Give in to me.
694
00:48:40,490 --> 00:48:41,740
Never!
695
00:48:41,790 --> 00:48:43,170
You can run from me
696
00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:46,590
but you can't run from yourself.
697
00:48:46,630 --> 00:48:48,340
Get off me now!
698
00:48:55,090 --> 00:48:57,260
Yo, what did I tell
you about biting?
699
00:48:57,300 --> 00:48:59,930
Sorry, coach,
I skipped breakfast.
700
00:49:00,010 --> 00:49:03,640
Skipped breakfast? Wiseguy, huh?
Okay, three mile run everybody
701
00:49:03,730 --> 00:49:05,690
you can all thank
wiseguy over here.
702
00:49:05,770 --> 00:49:07,100
Everybody let's go.
703
00:49:07,150 --> 00:49:09,320
Come on. Get go.
Get going.
704
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,710
♫ I got a feeling ♫
705
00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,790
♫ A feeling
That I'm gonna explode ♫
706
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:32,090
♫ Yes, I've got this feeling ♫
707
00:49:32,170 --> 00:49:36,290
♫ How much longer
Must I hold my load? ♫
708
00:49:38,050 --> 00:49:42,630
♫ Oh, what do I do? ♫
709
00:49:45,890 --> 00:49:47,560
♫ Purge this urge ♫
710
00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:50,900
♫ Oh, God, I really
Gotta purge this urge ♫
711
00:49:50,980 --> 00:49:53,690
♫ if nothing else
I've gotta purge ♫
712
00:49:53,780 --> 00:49:56,200
♫ This urge ♫
713
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,330
♫ Ooh Ooh ♫
714
00:50:01,990 --> 00:50:03,740
♫ Purge this urge ♫
715
00:50:05,410 --> 00:50:07,620
♫ The time is coming ♫
716
00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:11,920
♫ When I gotta choose ♫
717
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,040
♫ There's no more hiding ♫
718
00:50:16,090 --> 00:50:18,960
♫ No more playing
By the boss man's rules ♫
719
00:50:20,850 --> 00:50:25,310
♫ I've got to find
My own way ♫
720
00:50:28,270 --> 00:50:29,480
♫♫ Purge this urge! ♫♫
721
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,610
Is there something you
wanna talk about, kid?
722
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,620
My mother, before she died,
723
00:50:37,700 --> 00:50:40,410
she said, "Ricky",
724
00:50:40,490 --> 00:50:44,250
always be true to yourself".
And I try to be.
725
00:50:44,330 --> 00:50:49,170
But I get these feelings.
726
00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:52,630
Uh, these, urges.
727
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:59,220
And they feel true,
they feel so right.
728
00:50:59,260 --> 00:51:02,560
But,
729
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,480
so wrong.
730
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,560
Ricky, it may come
as a surprise to you, kid.
731
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,720
Coach Tuffman gets
those kind of urges too.
732
00:51:10,770 --> 00:51:13,480
You don't think I,
733
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,390
Watch you guys
shower after class?
734
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:19,480
Soaping up your biceps,
735
00:51:19,570 --> 00:51:20,980
your abs,
736
00:51:21,070 --> 00:51:22,650
glutes.
737
00:51:22,740 --> 00:51:25,450
Whoa. I think it's time
for me to bug out.
738
00:51:25,530 --> 00:51:27,990
Ricky, sit down. Relax.
739
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,500
This is between
me and you, right?
740
00:51:30,580 --> 00:51:35,250
I'm gonna do something for you
my wife will never do for me.
741
00:51:35,340 --> 00:51:37,180
That dusty old wench.
742
00:51:37,250 --> 00:51:40,290
Hey!
743
00:51:59,690 --> 00:52:02,020
Tastes like chicken, huh, babe?
744
00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:12,170
I don't know
what's happening to me.
745
00:52:12,250 --> 00:52:16,170
It's as if suddenly I have
this strength, that, like...
746
00:52:16,250 --> 00:52:18,500
Of a grizzzzly?
747
00:52:18,590 --> 00:52:21,550
Listen. Don't
have a cow.
748
00:52:21,630 --> 00:52:24,050
We got your back.
749
00:52:24,140 --> 00:52:26,060
You did this.
750
00:52:26,140 --> 00:52:30,650
It was your bite!
My ass!
751
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:34,850
What? What are you?
752
00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:37,990
The same as you.
753
00:52:38,020 --> 00:52:40,480
Oooh.
754
00:52:40,570 --> 00:52:42,780
Look who we've got here.
755
00:52:42,860 --> 00:52:45,230
Clean up for coach
like good little boys?
756
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,360
More like cleaning up coach.
757
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:52,830
Time to teach the fairy
brigade a lesson.
758
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:55,380
Ugh.
759
00:52:55,460 --> 00:52:57,170
My pops told me
760
00:52:57,250 --> 00:52:59,500
this is how you teach
lessons to pansies.
761
00:53:01,090 --> 00:53:04,100
Sounds like pops
knows how to party.
762
00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:05,390
Leave him alone, Butch!
763
00:53:05,470 --> 00:53:07,770
Shut up, Nancy boy!
764
00:53:07,850 --> 00:53:09,230
You're next.
765
00:53:09,310 --> 00:53:11,600
Gentlemen.
766
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,890
Plug him up!
Plug him up! Plug him up!
767
00:53:14,980 --> 00:53:18,570
Plug him up! Plug him up!
Plug him up!
768
00:53:18,650 --> 00:53:20,740
This is for you, Jesus.
769
00:53:22,150 --> 00:53:26,860
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
770
00:53:28,700 --> 00:53:31,080
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
771
00:53:33,750 --> 00:53:35,130
Plug him up!
772
00:53:48,220 --> 00:53:49,770
You okay, dude?
773
00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:54,720
Man, I was just playing.
774
00:53:54,810 --> 00:53:56,310
It was just a joke.
775
00:53:56,390 --> 00:53:58,720
It's a party, daddy Os!
776
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,240
Ugh!
777
00:54:26,510 --> 00:54:29,060
I never promised I'd be gentle.
778
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,520
Now you know what we are.
And what you are!
779
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,430
No. I'm not
like any of you.
780
00:54:45,820 --> 00:54:47,820
Angsty little dude.
781
00:54:50,070 --> 00:54:51,940
My darling.
It's good for your head.
782
00:54:52,030 --> 00:54:53,860
Call me, Sybill!
783
00:54:53,950 --> 00:54:55,360
Nurse Maleva,
you've gotta help me.
784
00:54:55,450 --> 00:54:57,950
Just calm down.
Tell me everything.
785
00:54:58,040 --> 00:54:59,880
You were right.
Talon, the twins,
786
00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:02,670
they're not just different,
they're... They're...
787
00:55:02,750 --> 00:55:04,370
Werebears.
788
00:55:04,460 --> 00:55:05,790
Werebears!
789
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:07,340
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
790
00:55:07,420 --> 00:55:11,630
Where I am from,
there is old saying.
791
00:55:11,720 --> 00:55:15,230
Even a boy
who thinks he's straight
792
00:55:15,310 --> 00:55:17,810
yet shaves his balls by night,
793
00:55:17,850 --> 00:55:21,470
may become a Werebear
from the hormones of age
794
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,810
and the latent urge
takes flight.
795
00:55:24,900 --> 00:55:26,450
So you're saying...
796
00:55:26,530 --> 00:55:29,070
Once bitten,
anytime you get aroused,
797
00:55:29,150 --> 00:55:31,320
you become that which bit you.
798
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:32,760
And you attack
those you lust after.
799
00:55:32,820 --> 00:55:34,360
Lust after?
800
00:55:34,450 --> 00:55:39,160
I think you know
what I'm talking about.
801
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,340
Homo!
802
00:55:42,420 --> 00:55:44,710
No. I am
not a homo!
803
00:55:44,790 --> 00:55:48,000
I'm a, Werebear.
804
00:56:04,650 --> 00:56:06,030
Looking for these?
805
00:56:10,820 --> 00:56:12,200
I'm going to the police.
806
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,200
Well, don't forget to tell them
807
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,610
what you did to good old
Coach Tuffman.
808
00:56:17,700 --> 00:56:19,360
He was trying to molest me.
809
00:56:19,410 --> 00:56:21,120
Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.
810
00:56:21,210 --> 00:56:22,790
You can't molest the willing.
811
00:56:28,050 --> 00:56:31,890
You're such a cub, Ricky.
All show and no go.
812
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:35,800
Who's talking about not being like
everybody else, you just wanna be you.
813
00:56:35,890 --> 00:56:37,810
This is you.
814
00:56:37,890 --> 00:56:41,600
No. You did this to me.
815
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,390
You could ask
yourself a question, brother.
816
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:48,320
Did the bite
put the beast in you?
817
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,860
Or let it out.
818
00:57:00,910 --> 00:57:05,620
♫ Love, love, love
Bit me on the ass ♫
819
00:57:05,710 --> 00:57:08,090
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
820
00:57:08,130 --> 00:57:10,340
♫ It got me by surprise ♫
821
00:57:10,420 --> 00:57:12,580
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
822
00:57:12,630 --> 00:57:15,130
♫ Took teeth to realizze ♫
823
00:57:15,220 --> 00:57:17,930
♫ That I'm just
A lonely boy ♫
824
00:57:18,010 --> 00:57:20,260
♫ Yes, deep down I'm blue ♫
825
00:57:20,350 --> 00:57:22,690
♫ But when I'm
unleash the beast ♫
826
00:57:22,770 --> 00:57:25,360
♫ To myself I'm true ♫
827
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:33,440
♫ Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass ♫
828
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,790
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
829
00:57:37,870 --> 00:57:40,290
♫ Bit me deep down too ♫
830
00:57:40,370 --> 00:57:42,460
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
831
00:57:42,490 --> 00:57:44,450
♫ But no way am I like you ♫
832
00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:47,460
♫ I may be quite different ♫
833
00:57:47,540 --> 00:57:49,370
♫ But I am not a beast ♫
834
00:57:49,460 --> 00:57:52,370
♫ I just want to cuddle ♫
835
00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:54,750
♫ And you just wanna feast ♫
836
00:57:54,840 --> 00:58:02,840
♫ Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass ♫
837
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,990
♫♫ Love, love, love ♫♫
838
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:39,010
Meet me tonight at the luau.
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
839
00:58:39,090 --> 00:58:42,550
What do you mean
with "bloodbath"?
840
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:46,060
It means that the guys are gonna
shake things up at the school dance.
841
00:58:46,140 --> 00:58:49,510
Payback time for those
small-minded haters.
842
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,520
I can't be part of that, Talon.
843
00:58:52,610 --> 00:58:54,280
You can't be part of that.
844
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,110
This is not how you
gain acceptance.
845
00:59:00,410 --> 00:59:06,000
Well, then I guess I'll
see ya when I'll see ya.
846
00:59:27,100 --> 00:59:30,400
♫ I saw you dancing ♫
847
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,610
♫ Barefoot in the sand ♫
848
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:42,230
♫ I can love you
Like no other can ♫
849
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:47,240
♫ Sexy ways
Sexy ways ♫
850
00:59:47,290 --> 00:59:51,840
♫♫ Sexy ways
Sexy ways ♫♫
851
00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:03,500
You've all given us such a warm
welcome this first week at school.
852
01:00:03,590 --> 01:00:06,260
You definitely deserve
this next number, it's, uh,
853
01:00:06,350 --> 01:00:09,350
It's pretty bear-tastic.
854
01:00:21,780 --> 01:00:25,160
♫ Well, we got a new dance
It's the hit of the land ♫
855
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,710
♫ All you gotta do
is thrust when you stand ♫
856
01:00:33,620 --> 01:00:36,870
♫ a squeal,
a grunt, and a squirt ♫
857
01:00:39,130 --> 01:00:44,310
♫ Yeah, it's called the Warebear
And it just might hurt ♫
858
01:00:44,340 --> 01:00:46,630
♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫
859
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:50,470
♫ And let
The Werebear do you ♫
860
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,360
♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫
861
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:57,650
♫ Right here in Malibu ♫
862
01:01:00,570 --> 01:01:02,620
Yeah!
863
01:01:02,690 --> 01:01:06,480
♫ Sweeping the nation Just
like civil rights Werebear ♫
864
01:01:06,570 --> 01:01:11,360
♫ It's the latest sensation
For long long lonely nights ♫
865
01:01:11,450 --> 01:01:13,620
♫ Werebear ♫
866
01:01:13,710 --> 01:01:15,670
I knew you would come, son.
867
01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:18,010
♫ Four, three, two, thrust ♫
868
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,540
I know now what
I must do, Maleva.
869
01:01:20,630 --> 01:01:22,590
♫ Three, thrust ♫
870
01:01:22,670 --> 01:01:26,840
♫ I wanna do it again
Let's do the Werebear ♫
871
01:01:26,930 --> 01:01:30,390
♫ And let
The Werebear do you ♫
872
01:01:30,470 --> 01:01:32,680
♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫
873
01:01:32,770 --> 01:01:37,230
♫ Right here in Malibu ♫
874
01:01:40,940 --> 01:01:42,230
Yeah!
875
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,280
♫ One, two, three, thrust ♫
876
01:01:47,700 --> 01:01:50,870
♫ One, two, three, thrust
One, two, three, thrust ♫
877
01:01:50,950 --> 01:01:53,740
♫ Do it again ♫
878
01:01:55,660 --> 01:02:00,040
♫ One, two, three, thrust
Oh, it never has to end ♫
879
01:02:00,130 --> 01:02:02,970
♫ One, two, three, thrust
One, two, three, thrust ♫
880
01:02:06,470 --> 01:02:08,390
♫♫ One, two, three,
Thrust, oh! ♫♫
881
01:02:08,470 --> 01:02:09,600
♫ Everybody gather round ♫
882
01:02:11,470 --> 01:02:13,970
♫ You better not let
This madness go down ♫
883
01:02:14,060 --> 01:02:17,980
♫ They got good lines
They fuck real good ♫
884
01:02:18,060 --> 01:02:22,640
♫♫ But they just want
To make you their food ♫♫
885
01:02:25,530 --> 01:02:27,030
Yeah!
886
01:02:31,490 --> 01:02:34,740
Violence and hatred
is not the answer.
887
01:02:34,830 --> 01:02:39,340
If we are to be accepted we
must show love and tolerance.
888
01:02:39,420 --> 01:02:42,380
There are human beings
out there, Talon.
889
01:02:42,460 --> 01:02:44,670
Not snacks.
890
01:02:46,420 --> 01:02:49,500
Nice speech, Gandhi.
891
01:02:49,590 --> 01:02:52,840
But we're hungry!
892
01:03:07,030 --> 01:03:09,330
I freed you from
a life of conformity.
893
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,440
I unleashed you
from the mundane.
894
01:03:16,410 --> 01:03:19,990
You chained me
to a life of bloodloss!
895
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:00,500
Help me, Maleva!
896
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:07,540
Yes, Ricky.
You know what to do.
897
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:26,890
Maybe...
898
01:04:26,980 --> 01:04:30,770
I should've been more like you.
899
01:04:30,860 --> 01:04:34,110
We can change
the world together.
900
01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:36,120
You still can.
901
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:40,040
Go get 'em, kid.
902
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:42,030
Make sure
903
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:45,830
you tell them
that I'm not a monster.
904
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:51,010
You know, Werebears
need love too.
905
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:18,650
Wow. Not enough gay.
906
01:05:18,740 --> 01:05:22,160
Yeah, I mean, De Palma,
ripping this off for Carrey?
907
01:05:22,250 --> 01:05:24,290
Why are you surprised?
It's De Palma.
908
01:05:24,370 --> 01:05:27,910
What... What I don't get, is if
they just shaved their chests
909
01:05:27,960 --> 01:05:29,920
wouldn't their curse be lifted?
910
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,460
I mean, that's what it took
to be a Werebear. Right?
911
01:05:32,550 --> 01:05:34,430
Uh. Sure.
912
01:05:34,510 --> 01:05:36,530
I feel like I would've used
something less invasive.
913
01:05:36,550 --> 01:05:39,340
You know, like, instead of a
dildo, maybe a silver razzor.
914
01:05:41,180 --> 01:05:43,340
What was that?
915
01:05:43,430 --> 01:05:46,260
That's what scientists refer
to as the one cheek sneak.
916
01:05:46,350 --> 01:05:49,270
Anyone want anything
from the concession stand?
917
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:50,420
I'm gonna go talk to Mr. K.
918
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:51,940
I'm good.
919
01:05:52,030 --> 01:05:53,820
Nah, just bring Desi
back if you can.
920
01:05:53,900 --> 01:05:56,610
Yeah, sure, I'll be right back.
921
01:06:10,130 --> 01:06:12,220
Is it hot in here
or is it just me?
922
01:06:12,300 --> 01:06:14,090
It's you.
923
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:20,010
How 'bout you sideburns, want some
of this milk it may cool you off?
924
01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:21,770
I'd rather have a beer.
925
01:06:21,850 --> 01:06:23,640
Nice.
926
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,640
Okay. Saw you,
Mr. Cockblock.
927
01:06:27,140 --> 01:06:29,010
Hey, is there any popcorn left?
928
01:06:29,100 --> 01:06:31,890
Fresh out.
929
01:06:31,980 --> 01:06:33,980
Want me to get some more
before the next flick?
930
01:06:34,070 --> 01:06:35,910
Yeah. I'll just be here
getting manhandled.
931
01:06:35,990 --> 01:06:37,660
Really?
932
01:06:41,700 --> 01:06:43,820
Oh. I could just
eat you up.
933
01:06:43,910 --> 01:06:48,330
♫ It's all over, darling ♫
934
01:06:48,370 --> 01:06:49,660
♫♫ because I... ♫♫
935
01:06:51,170 --> 01:06:52,670
Hey, Mr. K.
How you holding up?
936
01:06:52,710 --> 01:06:54,370
Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
937
01:06:54,460 --> 01:06:56,080
Boy, dammit.
938
01:06:56,170 --> 01:06:57,710
Does anybody knock anymore?
939
01:06:57,800 --> 01:06:59,050
I'm an old man here.
940
01:06:59,130 --> 01:07:00,300
Mr. K.,
I'm sorry, sir, I...
941
01:07:00,390 --> 01:07:01,930
Don't apologizze.
942
01:07:02,010 --> 01:07:05,510
Put, put, put, put
your hands down, son.
943
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,940
Wow. Thanks
for the six heart attacks.
944
01:07:09,020 --> 01:07:11,360
Do you have a minute
to talk. I, I need to.
945
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:15,610
Well, sure thing. But, uh, go
over to the projector first
946
01:07:15,690 --> 01:07:17,690
and flip on my call, okay?
947
01:07:17,780 --> 01:07:19,910
Yeah, you got it, Mr. K.
948
01:07:23,700 --> 01:07:29,240
Welcome back, boyls and ghouls.
949
01:07:29,330 --> 01:07:34,910
Anybody not off
to eternal slumber yet?
950
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:42,300
Tonight they will bask in the
glory of the unconventional.
951
01:07:42,390 --> 01:07:45,730
Spit in the eye of morality
952
01:07:45,810 --> 01:07:49,690
and feast on the art
of the damned.
953
01:07:49,770 --> 01:07:52,980
With a film
that will test your tastes
954
01:07:53,060 --> 01:07:57,940
and rock the very fabric of your senses!
955
01:07:58,030 --> 01:08:02,410
And first,
it's time to bear witness
956
01:08:02,490 --> 01:08:05,620
to the Bible of bad taste,
957
01:08:05,700 --> 01:08:10,910
The Diary of Anne Frankenstein!
958
01:09:32,750 --> 01:09:33,750
Sh.
959
01:12:44,100 --> 01:12:45,430
Heil, Hitler!
960
01:12:50,940 --> 01:12:52,560
Scheisse.
961
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:25,770
Boop!
962
01:14:11,610 --> 01:14:12,650
Poofta.
963
01:15:37,030 --> 01:15:38,160
Heil, Hitler!
964
01:17:23,340 --> 01:17:24,500
Oh, mein Gott.
965
01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:42,170
Heil, Hitler!
966
01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:56,510
Meshugannah.
967
01:20:59,640 --> 01:21:00,840
Huh?
968
01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:48,580
Nein!
969
01:23:26,870 --> 01:23:29,660
What the fuck?
970
01:26:11,490 --> 01:26:12,700
Oh!
971
01:27:24,610 --> 01:27:26,740
What is it?
972
01:27:26,780 --> 01:27:29,580
More popcorn?
973
01:27:29,610 --> 01:27:33,070
♫ Two hot
popcorns Mix it up, wrap it up ♫
974
01:27:33,120 --> 01:27:35,210
♫ Butter it up ♫
975
01:27:37,830 --> 01:27:40,840
I got big plans for you, baby.
976
01:27:40,920 --> 01:27:42,630
Nice. Nice.
977
01:27:42,710 --> 01:27:43,840
You like that, baby?
978
01:27:43,920 --> 01:27:45,300
Hm. Yeah.
979
01:27:45,380 --> 01:27:48,180
Loads of possibilities.
980
01:27:48,260 --> 01:27:52,180
24.000 square
feet, Starbucks,
981
01:27:52,260 --> 01:27:55,680
Food court, oh, I get hard
just thinking about it.
982
01:27:55,760 --> 01:27:58,800
Yeah.
983
01:27:58,890 --> 01:28:01,430
Hm. That's good. Hm.
984
01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:04,230
Oh. So, so good.
985
01:28:04,310 --> 01:28:06,190
Hm. Delicious.
986
01:28:06,280 --> 01:28:09,620
Hey. Are you enjoying my mouth
or the fucking popcorn?
987
01:28:09,700 --> 01:28:11,120
Well, both, baby.
988
01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:13,540
It's kind of a big
fantasy for me.
989
01:28:13,620 --> 01:28:16,460
Well, are you sure? 'Cause it
seems you're getting all orgasmic
990
01:28:16,540 --> 01:28:17,870
about your fucking snacks.
991
01:28:21,500 --> 01:28:24,380
Jesus, are you okay?
992
01:28:24,460 --> 01:28:26,260
Yeah, just, uh, I feel hot.
Kinda hot.
993
01:28:26,340 --> 01:28:28,510
Don't stop. Come on.
994
01:28:28,590 --> 01:28:31,720
Okay. Tell me when you're gonna pop.
You know I don't like the taste.
995
01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:33,960
Yeah. Yeah. Ugh.
996
01:28:48,820 --> 01:28:50,320
What...
997
01:29:13,220 --> 01:29:15,430
More head.
998
01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:32,320
What the fuck?
999
01:29:33,530 --> 01:29:34,740
I just washed this car.
1000
01:29:34,820 --> 01:29:36,280
He's got blue slushies!
1001
01:29:36,370 --> 01:29:38,700
Oh! I'm like freaking
out right now!
1002
01:29:38,780 --> 01:29:40,360
All right. What were
we talking about?
1003
01:29:40,410 --> 01:29:42,450
Tobe. I should probably go...
1004
01:29:42,540 --> 01:29:44,540
Talk to Tobe.
1005
01:29:44,620 --> 01:29:47,040
I think you should talk to him.
That's my piece.
1006
01:29:47,080 --> 01:29:50,790
That's fine! Screw it! Just
tell me how it begins.
1007
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:53,970
Roger Wilco.
Red five. Standing by.
1008
01:29:54,050 --> 01:29:55,640
Hm. Nerdy one.
1009
01:29:55,720 --> 01:29:57,140
Yeah, and you getting that line
1010
01:29:57,220 --> 01:29:58,600
makes you one of the good ones.
1011
01:30:00,100 --> 01:30:04,270
Which makes me, the final girl.
1012
01:30:07,810 --> 01:30:09,930
And now, on with the show.
1013
01:30:14,900 --> 01:30:17,820
Well, my Chilly Chillens,
1014
01:30:17,910 --> 01:30:22,920
I hope you're still with us for the
long.
1015
01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:34,580
For this popular abomination
you've all been waiting for.
1016
01:30:34,630 --> 01:30:38,670
The final sinful centerpiece,
1017
01:30:38,760 --> 01:30:41,840
of our last evening together.
1018
01:30:41,930 --> 01:30:44,340
Hey.
1019
01:30:44,430 --> 01:30:46,470
So, I need to get
something off my chest.
1020
01:30:46,560 --> 01:30:48,470
L... I...
1021
01:30:48,560 --> 01:30:52,980
(Mr. K. You are gonna
see some serious shit!
1022
01:30:53,070 --> 01:30:54,700
Whoa.
1023
01:30:54,780 --> 01:30:57,120
It's just like
in the movies, huh?
1024
01:30:57,200 --> 01:30:59,450
L... I...
1025
01:30:59,530 --> 01:31:01,650
I got nothing.
1026
01:31:01,740 --> 01:31:05,700
The most vile and offensive
1027
01:31:05,790 --> 01:31:08,380
stock of celluloid.
1028
01:31:08,460 --> 01:31:13,970
Here is Deathication.
1029
01:31:26,770 --> 01:31:28,650
Oh, hello.
1030
01:31:28,690 --> 01:31:30,070
I didn't see you there.
1031
01:31:30,150 --> 01:31:31,820
Come in, won't you?
1032
01:31:36,150 --> 01:31:38,650
Would you mind, uh,
closing the door, please?
1033
01:31:39,910 --> 01:31:41,660
Thank you very much.
1034
01:31:41,700 --> 01:31:44,410
As I was saying, my name
is Fernando Phagabeefy.
1035
01:31:44,490 --> 01:31:47,070
Internationally known
and respected film maker.
1036
01:31:47,160 --> 01:31:48,740
The visionary mastermind
1037
01:31:48,830 --> 01:31:50,870
behind notorious
cinematic works such as,
1038
01:31:50,960 --> 01:31:52,170
The Cunting Death,
1039
01:31:52,210 --> 01:31:53,920
Salo 2, The Next Day
1040
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:56,830
and of course,
Rosemary's Picnic Table.
1041
01:31:56,880 --> 01:31:58,380
I here now to present to you
1042
01:31:58,470 --> 01:32:00,640
my latest and greatest
moving picture.
1043
01:32:00,720 --> 01:32:02,770
A film so scandalous,
so intense,
1044
01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:05,010
that it was banned
from every film festival
1045
01:32:05,100 --> 01:32:06,440
in fear of mass hysteria,
1046
01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:08,600
and destroyed seating.
1047
01:32:08,680 --> 01:32:10,890
The next 87 minutes
you're about to endure
1048
01:32:10,980 --> 01:32:13,030
a motion picture
I've directed called,
1049
01:32:13,100 --> 01:32:14,520
Deathication,
1050
01:32:14,610 --> 01:32:16,450
comes with a very
serious warning.
1051
01:32:16,530 --> 01:32:18,410
This film
was specifically produced
1052
01:32:18,490 --> 01:32:21,030
to elicit the effect
of pure terror on the audience
1053
01:32:21,070 --> 01:32:23,030
to a complete
and total sensory immersion
1054
01:32:23,110 --> 01:32:24,690
to the images on screen
1055
01:32:24,780 --> 01:32:27,400
using the latest
in cinematic technology.
1056
01:32:27,490 --> 01:32:29,780
The lights of which
we can have revealed here
1057
01:32:29,870 --> 01:32:31,830
in fear
of government confiscation.
1058
01:32:31,920 --> 01:32:34,960
The following visuals printed
on this very film stock
1059
01:32:35,040 --> 01:32:38,250
are proven to cause a highly
visceral, biological response
1060
01:32:38,340 --> 01:32:40,390
in the human nervous system
in the most,
1061
01:32:40,470 --> 01:32:42,220
hm, nefarious of ways.
1062
01:32:45,300 --> 01:32:46,970
Oh, hello, doctor.
1063
01:32:47,060 --> 01:32:49,600
As you can see from our
scientific results,
1064
01:32:49,680 --> 01:32:51,390
this photo realistic rendering
1065
01:32:51,430 --> 01:32:53,060
of one, the human body,
1066
01:32:53,140 --> 01:32:55,140
each and every frame
of Deathication
1067
01:32:55,230 --> 01:32:57,480
swiftly attacks the
viewer's brainwaves,
1068
01:32:57,570 --> 01:33:00,070
rendering specific
motor functions helpless
1069
01:33:00,110 --> 01:33:03,230
to the depravity that unfolds
before your very eyes.
1070
01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:05,570
At any moment during
the course of this film,
1071
01:33:05,660 --> 01:33:08,080
viewers have been know
to suddenly and violently
1072
01:33:08,120 --> 01:33:09,790
release their bowels!
1073
01:33:09,870 --> 01:33:13,170
A collective explosion
of hot, moist madness.
1074
01:33:13,250 --> 01:33:16,010
In other words,
what you're about to see
1075
01:33:16,080 --> 01:33:17,830
will make you shit.
A lot!
1076
01:33:17,920 --> 01:33:19,800
Buckets of excrement!
1077
01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:21,840
A river of ca ca will
rage through this theater's
1078
01:33:21,920 --> 01:33:23,460
as one buttery floor.
1079
01:33:23,550 --> 01:33:25,630
You'll crap your slacks
for days to come,
1080
01:33:25,720 --> 01:33:28,520
ruin many undergarments
become severely dehydrated,
1081
01:33:28,600 --> 01:33:31,940
brave scorn at any social
event or family gathering,
1082
01:33:32,020 --> 01:33:34,690
even suffer from a case
of inflamed anal tissue
1083
01:33:34,770 --> 01:33:37,360
similar,
to the effects of sodomy.
1084
01:33:37,440 --> 01:33:40,030
In other other words, this film
1085
01:33:40,110 --> 01:33:42,110
will rape you
with your own feces.
1086
01:33:42,190 --> 01:33:43,610
And that, my friends,
1087
01:33:43,650 --> 01:33:47,190
is a Fernando
Phagabeefy promise.
1088
01:33:47,280 --> 01:33:49,650
With this warning in mind,
by staying in this theatre,
1089
01:33:49,740 --> 01:33:51,820
you're releasing
any rights and liability
1090
01:33:51,910 --> 01:33:55,030
against the film makers or the
owner of this fine establishment
1091
01:33:55,120 --> 01:33:57,080
for any cleaning bills,
shattered senses,
1092
01:33:57,170 --> 01:33:59,670
or exploded ovaries.
So, for the safety of you,
1093
01:33:59,750 --> 01:34:01,750
those around you
and the integrity
1094
01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:03,550
of your swimming trunks area,
1095
01:34:03,630 --> 01:34:06,500
please consider this
your final warning.
1096
01:34:06,590 --> 01:34:08,710
Those in the audience
who have a weak constitution
1097
01:34:08,800 --> 01:34:10,300
or a giant asshole,
1098
01:34:10,390 --> 01:34:12,390
should leave
this theatre immediately!
1099
01:34:12,470 --> 01:34:14,390
Unless you are truly prepared
1100
01:34:14,480 --> 01:34:18,320
to experience the horrific
effects of, Deathication.
1101
01:34:18,400 --> 01:34:21,490
Because you can't scream if
you're full of shit.
1102
01:35:21,000 --> 01:35:22,620
What the hell...
1103
01:35:24,050 --> 01:35:25,550
What is that?
1104
01:35:25,590 --> 01:35:27,430
I don't know.
That's a first.
1105
01:35:29,380 --> 01:35:31,460
Do you think
Mr. K's all right?
1106
01:35:31,550 --> 01:35:33,450
I don't know. I'm
kind of worried about him.
1107
01:35:33,470 --> 01:35:35,470
He seemed a bit a mess
about the whole thing,
1108
01:35:35,560 --> 01:35:36,480
and there was a gun.
1109
01:35:36,560 --> 01:35:38,610
What? A gun?
1110
01:35:38,690 --> 01:35:41,440
Look, I'll explain in a sec.
Come on, let's go check him out.
1111
01:35:48,450 --> 01:35:49,450
Cecil!
1112
01:35:49,490 --> 01:35:50,740
Oh, my God.
1113
01:35:50,820 --> 01:35:52,570
You kids, get out of here!
1114
01:35:52,660 --> 01:35:54,250
What the hell, man?
1115
01:35:54,330 --> 01:35:55,660
Gun.
1116
01:35:58,410 --> 01:36:00,370
Dick, you're fired!
1117
01:36:02,080 --> 01:36:04,750
Boss!
1118
01:36:08,260 --> 01:36:10,760
What? You never saw Robocop?
1119
01:36:10,840 --> 01:36:12,550
What the cripes
was that, Mr. K?
1120
01:36:12,640 --> 01:36:15,060
I don't know. He just
attacked me from behind.
1121
01:36:15,140 --> 01:36:17,810
Next thing I know, he's
trying to pull my pants down.
1122
01:36:17,890 --> 01:36:20,800
I think he was trying
to hide the baloney.
1123
01:36:20,890 --> 01:36:24,100
What's that blue stuff on him?
1124
01:36:24,190 --> 01:36:27,780
Wait, wait, wait. I saw that on
somebody's shirt downstairs.
1125
01:36:27,820 --> 01:36:30,030
Wait! Did he bite you?
He's totally a zzombie.
1126
01:36:30,110 --> 01:36:31,940
No. He came close but no cigar.
I'm fine.
1127
01:36:32,030 --> 01:36:33,940
And you?
1128
01:36:34,030 --> 01:36:36,860
Actually, I'm kind of awesome,
all things considering.
1129
01:36:36,950 --> 01:36:39,700
Well, let's check the.
1130
01:36:39,790 --> 01:36:40,830
Look out!
1131
01:36:40,910 --> 01:36:41,910
Tobe!
1132
01:36:45,000 --> 01:36:46,210
Get him off me!
1133
01:36:49,210 --> 01:36:50,500
Tobe!
1134
01:36:50,590 --> 01:36:52,460
Shit! He's trying
to kiss me!
1135
01:37:00,560 --> 01:37:02,150
Fuck you, Floyd.
1136
01:37:07,150 --> 01:37:09,910
Wow. Wow. Wow.
1137
01:37:14,950 --> 01:37:16,080
Wolfman has nards!
1138
01:37:16,160 --> 01:37:18,040
Nice shooting, Tex.
1139
01:37:18,120 --> 01:37:20,210
How'd you know that
was the sweet spot?
1140
01:37:20,290 --> 01:37:21,830
Come on, I'm a girl.
1141
01:37:21,870 --> 01:37:23,490
I know where guy's heads are.
1142
01:37:23,540 --> 01:37:25,330
Thanks.
1143
01:37:25,420 --> 01:37:27,300
That's two you owe me, Junior.
1144
01:37:30,510 --> 01:37:31,890
God, I love you.
1145
01:37:31,970 --> 01:37:33,550
I know.
1146
01:37:33,630 --> 01:37:36,000
Will you two clam it
'till the credits?
1147
01:37:36,050 --> 01:37:37,170
What I wanna know
1148
01:37:37,260 --> 01:37:38,720
is what the sweet scent
1149
01:37:38,810 --> 01:37:41,350
of Satan's scrotus
is going on here.
1150
01:38:24,230 --> 01:38:25,730
What?
1151
01:38:46,210 --> 01:38:47,630
I'll just lie here.
1152
01:38:47,710 --> 01:38:49,500
It all should blow over.
1153
01:38:49,580 --> 01:38:51,910
Ah, fuck that!
I could leave!
1154
01:38:52,000 --> 01:38:53,580
I got the car, I got the keys!
1155
01:38:53,630 --> 01:38:56,040
Ah, what about the guys?
1156
01:38:56,130 --> 01:38:58,000
Wait.
1157
01:38:58,090 --> 01:39:01,210
Ah, Des! Shit!
1158
01:39:55,530 --> 01:39:57,410
Yes! Okay.
1159
01:39:57,490 --> 01:39:59,160
Come on, Ryan.
1160
01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:02,040
This is my movie.
I'm the final girl.
1161
01:40:02,120 --> 01:40:03,700
Come on!
1162
01:40:05,790 --> 01:40:07,500
Okay.
1163
01:40:07,580 --> 01:40:09,580
One.
1164
01:40:09,660 --> 01:40:12,450
Two.
1165
01:40:13,790 --> 01:40:15,080
Two and a half.
1166
01:40:15,170 --> 01:40:16,170
Three!
1167
01:40:27,970 --> 01:40:29,550
Jesus, Miller.
1168
01:40:34,860 --> 01:40:36,700
Penis brat!
1169
01:40:36,730 --> 01:40:38,560
You gotta be fucking kidding!
1170
01:41:18,730 --> 01:41:20,440
Swearsies.
1171
01:41:20,530 --> 01:41:22,160
Now what?
1172
01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:25,330
We get back in the car
and get the fuck out.
1173
01:41:28,240 --> 01:41:32,410
Plan A sucks.
Got any other ideas?
1174
01:41:32,500 --> 01:41:34,250
Follow me.
1175
01:41:44,880 --> 01:41:47,920
Fuck you, fucking zzombies!
1176
01:41:47,970 --> 01:41:49,670
Okay.
1177
01:41:49,760 --> 01:41:51,680
I gotta think.
I gotta save the day.
1178
01:41:51,770 --> 01:41:53,360
What would, uh, Simon Pegg do?
1179
01:41:53,430 --> 01:41:55,760
That's too British.
1180
01:41:55,850 --> 01:41:57,680
Des, Des, we're gonna
get out of this.
1181
01:41:57,770 --> 01:42:00,020
We're gonna be oh...
1182
01:42:01,900 --> 01:42:03,150
Des?
1183
01:42:03,240 --> 01:42:06,790
I want you, Ryan.
1184
01:42:06,860 --> 01:42:08,940
That is so awesome, but,
1185
01:42:09,030 --> 01:42:12,320
this is kind of a no time for love Dr.
Jones situation here, so.
1186
01:42:12,410 --> 01:42:14,570
We'll be fine.
1187
01:42:14,660 --> 01:42:17,490
Come to me, Ryan.
1188
01:42:17,580 --> 01:42:19,450
But, but you're...
1189
01:42:19,500 --> 01:42:21,210
In love?
1190
01:42:21,300 --> 01:42:22,880
No...
1191
01:42:24,510 --> 01:42:26,640
Be inside me forever, Ryan.
1192
01:42:26,680 --> 01:42:28,140
I, uh...
1193
01:42:34,180 --> 01:42:35,430
Fuck it!
1194
01:42:52,990 --> 01:42:54,950
Phone's dead.
1195
01:42:55,040 --> 01:42:57,420
Phones out here
too, smart bastards.
1196
01:42:57,500 --> 01:42:59,170
What the hell is going on?
1197
01:42:59,210 --> 01:43:02,050
When there's no
more room left in hell,
1198
01:43:02,130 --> 01:43:03,840
"The dead
shall fuck the earth."
1199
01:43:03,880 --> 01:43:06,540
Or something like that,
it's like,
1200
01:43:06,630 --> 01:43:07,840
with the final reel.
1201
01:43:07,880 --> 01:43:09,090
Final reel.
1202
01:43:09,180 --> 01:43:10,520
What?
1203
01:43:10,600 --> 01:43:12,560
No. I cannot die
here tonight.
1204
01:43:14,520 --> 01:43:16,520
You're not gonna die tonight.
1205
01:43:16,600 --> 01:43:17,720
Here.
1206
01:43:17,810 --> 01:43:19,470
Here you go, kid.
1207
01:43:19,560 --> 01:43:21,000
Six rounds will
give you some courage.
1208
01:43:21,020 --> 01:43:22,270
What about you?
1209
01:43:22,360 --> 01:43:23,820
Don't worry about me.
1210
01:43:23,900 --> 01:43:25,690
Now you came
by car tonight, right?
1211
01:43:25,780 --> 01:43:27,910
Yeah, hopefully
Ryan stayed in the car.
1212
01:43:27,990 --> 01:43:30,120
He's got the keys.
1213
01:43:30,200 --> 01:43:32,040
Get back to your car,
1214
01:43:32,120 --> 01:43:34,870
lock yourselves in
and drive fast.
1215
01:43:34,950 --> 01:43:37,200
What do we tell him?
That this in an undead orgy?
1216
01:43:37,290 --> 01:43:38,790
Tell them whatever!
1217
01:43:38,870 --> 01:43:40,790
Tell them to bring
the cops, the army,
1218
01:43:40,880 --> 01:43:43,090
the goddamn hazzmat suits.
Bring them all!
1219
01:43:43,170 --> 01:43:45,050
Now, you have
12 rounds between you.
1220
01:43:45,130 --> 01:43:47,300
Got it.
1221
01:43:47,380 --> 01:43:48,960
Aren't you coming?
1222
01:43:49,050 --> 01:43:52,460
Yeah. Yeah. I'll...
I'll catch up with ya.
1223
01:43:55,890 --> 01:43:57,840
Scoot you two.
Good luck.
1224
01:43:57,930 --> 01:44:00,220
And may the schwartzz
be with ya.
1225
01:44:00,310 --> 01:44:01,640
You too, Mr. K.
1226
01:44:09,150 --> 01:44:12,780
What was it you said, Orson?
1227
01:44:12,870 --> 01:44:17,370
Nobody who takes on
anything big and tough
1228
01:44:17,450 --> 01:44:19,740
can afford to be modest.
1229
01:44:28,920 --> 01:44:31,040
Fuck modesty.
1230
01:44:48,280 --> 01:44:49,450
Fuck!
1231
01:44:57,120 --> 01:44:58,830
Hey, there, big boy.
1232
01:44:58,910 --> 01:45:00,280
You like that?
1233
01:45:02,500 --> 01:45:03,960
Is this what you want?
1234
01:45:04,040 --> 01:45:05,370
Mayna, what the fuck?
1235
01:45:05,460 --> 01:45:08,430
Happy ending.
1236
01:45:15,050 --> 01:45:16,510
Feel important.
1237
01:45:16,600 --> 01:45:18,520
Wait! Smoke screen.
1238
01:45:22,810 --> 01:45:24,970
Fuck me gently
with the chain saw.
1239
01:45:29,230 --> 01:45:30,400
Let's go!
1240
01:45:30,480 --> 01:45:31,480
Okay. Okay.
1241
01:45:31,530 --> 01:45:32,990
Oh, my God!
1242
01:45:38,910 --> 01:45:39,910
Where's the car?
1243
01:45:39,990 --> 01:45:41,240
Right there.
1244
01:45:41,330 --> 01:45:42,670
Yeah. Right there.
1245
01:45:43,910 --> 01:45:45,580
Oh, shit.
1246
01:45:47,500 --> 01:45:48,750
Fuck.
1247
01:45:48,840 --> 01:45:50,680
Watch out.
1248
01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:52,720
Your mother sucks cocks in hell.
1249
01:45:54,510 --> 01:45:56,260
Tobe! Oh, my gosh!
1250
01:45:59,720 --> 01:46:01,760
Oh, fuck.
1251
01:46:01,850 --> 01:46:03,150
Are you out?
1252
01:46:03,230 --> 01:46:04,730
I've got one.
1253
01:46:06,600 --> 01:46:07,720
I've got two.
1254
01:46:07,810 --> 01:46:09,600
Wait. No.
1255
01:46:09,690 --> 01:46:11,270
I've only
got one. Fuck.
1256
01:46:11,360 --> 01:46:13,280
Well, the best we could
do is use it on us.
1257
01:46:13,360 --> 01:46:15,400
Before we become zzombies.
1258
01:46:15,490 --> 01:46:18,540
I don't feel like losing my
virginity with a goddamn zzombie.
1259
01:46:18,620 --> 01:46:20,460
Wait. You're a virgin?
1260
01:46:20,530 --> 01:46:22,780
Can we talk about this
later? Watch it.
1261
01:46:25,080 --> 01:46:27,540
I waited for you.
1262
01:46:34,590 --> 01:46:37,380
Now put the gun on my head
and pull the trigger.
1263
01:46:37,430 --> 01:46:39,680
The bullet should
take us both out.
1264
01:46:39,760 --> 01:46:41,760
What? Is that the best
idea you've got?
1265
01:46:41,850 --> 01:46:44,270
It's the only thing I can
remember from the movies
1266
01:46:44,350 --> 01:46:45,550
that makes any sense...
1267
01:46:48,940 --> 01:46:50,820
Get your undead dicks
1268
01:46:50,900 --> 01:46:53,490
out of my drive-in!
1269
01:46:55,990 --> 01:46:58,330
Old turkey!
1270
01:46:58,410 --> 01:47:01,500
This way, jerk offs!
Follow me!
1271
01:47:03,910 --> 01:47:06,910
Amscra you two.
Get to the chopper. Go.
1272
01:47:12,840 --> 01:47:14,260
Where are the keys?
1273
01:47:14,340 --> 01:47:15,760
I don't know.
You have them.
1274
01:47:15,800 --> 01:47:17,140
What? No, I gave them to you.
1275
01:47:17,220 --> 01:47:18,260
I gave them to you!
1276
01:47:18,340 --> 01:47:19,710
Check your pockets.
1277
01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:21,170
I got 'em!
1278
01:47:21,260 --> 01:47:22,760
Behind you!
1279
01:47:25,470 --> 01:47:26,930
In. In. In. Get in!
1280
01:47:27,020 --> 01:47:29,070
Open the door!
Unlock it.
1281
01:47:29,150 --> 01:47:30,690
Get in.
1282
01:47:34,440 --> 01:47:36,770
"Hasta la vista, baby ."
1283
01:47:36,860 --> 01:47:39,980
"Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn".
1284
01:47:40,070 --> 01:47:43,700
"Nobody puts Baby in
a corner."
1285
01:47:43,780 --> 01:47:47,370
"Yippie ki yay motherfucker."
1286
01:47:47,460 --> 01:47:50,800
"What we have here is a failure
to communicate".
1287
01:47:53,210 --> 01:47:54,910
"Goonies never say die!"
1288
01:47:56,880 --> 01:48:00,170
"I'm getting too old
for this shit".
1289
01:48:00,260 --> 01:48:02,180
This way, perverts!
1290
01:48:02,260 --> 01:48:05,300
Follow the Pied Piper
and his sweet asshole!
1291
01:48:06,850 --> 01:48:08,650
Cinema is dead.
1292
01:48:11,690 --> 01:48:13,820
Oh!
1293
01:48:13,900 --> 01:48:16,240
"Say hello
to my little friend!"
1294
01:48:22,110 --> 01:48:25,900
a better contender!
1295
01:48:25,990 --> 01:48:29,570
"Rosebud, motherfucker"!
1296
01:48:31,040 --> 01:48:32,700
Oh, God.
1297
01:48:32,790 --> 01:48:34,390
I think that was uncle
Cecil's curtain call.
1298
01:48:34,420 --> 01:48:36,260
Well, that's a way
to find out. Huh?
1299
01:48:36,340 --> 01:48:37,510
Keys to ignition. Go!
1300
01:48:37,550 --> 01:48:39,470
Okay.
1301
01:48:39,550 --> 01:48:41,600
No, no, no.
1302
01:48:41,680 --> 01:48:44,020
Come on. This isn't
supposed to happen.
1303
01:48:44,050 --> 01:48:46,340
We're supposed
to survive. Fuck.
1304
01:48:46,430 --> 01:48:49,800
This is it.
1305
01:48:49,890 --> 01:48:51,850
Wait! You still have the...
1306
01:48:53,350 --> 01:48:55,060
Fresh out.
1307
01:48:55,150 --> 01:48:56,740
Damn it!
1308
01:48:56,820 --> 01:48:59,360
What do we do now?
1309
01:48:59,440 --> 01:49:02,360
Well, we can just sit here
1310
01:49:02,400 --> 01:49:05,240
and wait for them to turn
us into human sex toys.
1311
01:49:05,320 --> 01:49:08,570
Okay. Already not digging
doing number one.
1312
01:49:08,660 --> 01:49:12,580
Or,
1313
01:49:20,130 --> 01:49:25,760
We spend the last night
of our lives together
1314
01:49:25,840 --> 01:49:29,720
and give these fuckers
one hell of a show.
1315
01:49:29,770 --> 01:49:34,230
I have to admit that's
one hell of a plan.
1316
01:49:34,310 --> 01:49:37,270
Let's do it. Wait.
1317
01:49:41,900 --> 01:49:44,270
Funny. Did you
ever think
1318
01:49:44,360 --> 01:49:47,320
this would be the moment
you became a man?
1319
01:49:47,410 --> 01:49:50,580
Actually, it was during
an alien invasion
1320
01:49:50,660 --> 01:49:53,160
but it really doesn't
matter what the scenario.
1321
01:49:53,250 --> 01:49:55,590
Why's that?
1322
01:49:55,620 --> 01:49:58,580
Because I always knew
it would be with you.
1323
01:50:01,170 --> 01:50:04,590
You are so cool.
1324
01:50:04,630 --> 01:50:06,920
True romance.
1325
01:50:16,940 --> 01:50:17,980
Wait. Wait.
1326
01:50:18,060 --> 01:50:19,140
What? What?
1327
01:50:19,230 --> 01:50:21,940
Do you have a condom?
1328
01:50:21,980 --> 01:50:23,190
Really?
1329
01:50:23,280 --> 01:50:25,410
I'm kidding.
1330
01:51:00,520 --> 01:51:02,810
Fantastic! Now
that's an ending.
1331
01:51:02,900 --> 01:51:04,060
Fuck Hollywood!
1332
01:51:04,150 --> 01:51:05,730
Really? Boring.
1333
01:51:05,820 --> 01:51:06,870
Boring?
1334
01:51:06,950 --> 01:51:08,410
Not enough tits.
1335
01:51:08,490 --> 01:51:10,750
Actually, it was
kinda bittersweet.
1336
01:51:10,820 --> 01:51:13,150
You know?
Like the ending of E.T.
1337
01:51:13,240 --> 01:51:15,370
Why does everything
gotta be E.T. with you?
1338
01:51:15,450 --> 01:51:16,570
Come on. Let's go.
1339
01:51:16,660 --> 01:51:18,240
E.T.'s gay.
1340
01:51:19,630 --> 01:51:21,510
How... He's a plant.
1341
01:51:21,590 --> 01:51:24,010
He can't be gay. He's
a pla... He's a plant.
1342
01:51:24,090 --> 01:51:26,050
Would you be gay
if you were a plant?
1343
01:52:13,550 --> 01:52:15,720
It is a biological anomaly
1344
01:52:15,810 --> 01:52:19,150
the likes of which the medical
community has never seen.
1345
01:52:19,230 --> 01:52:21,440
Miles' unique body chemistry
1346
01:52:21,520 --> 01:52:23,890
clashed with the Plutoneide
and the Spermupermine
1347
01:52:23,940 --> 01:52:26,700
mutating his spermatozzoa
during spermatogenesis
1348
01:52:26,780 --> 01:52:29,070
in a way that no one
could've expected.
1349
01:52:29,150 --> 01:52:30,940
Spermatium are
by their very nature
1350
01:52:31,030 --> 01:52:33,410
a very determined
and resilient organism
1351
01:52:33,450 --> 01:52:36,080
genetically programmed
to overcome all obstacles
1352
01:52:36,160 --> 01:52:38,240
defy all odds
and hit the target.
1353
01:52:38,330 --> 01:52:40,670
Or die trying.
1354
01:52:40,750 --> 01:52:42,000
Perhaps...
1355
01:52:42,080 --> 01:52:44,080
You can view this disaster
1356
01:52:44,130 --> 01:52:46,800
as a kind of cautionary tale
1357
01:52:46,880 --> 01:52:49,590
against the misuse of a yet
to be fully understood
1358
01:52:49,630 --> 01:52:51,920
era in atomic energy.
1359
01:52:52,010 --> 01:52:54,430
God help us all.
1360
01:59:46,550 --> 01:59:47,680
Ba-bye.
92811
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.