All language subtitles for 3rd_Rock_from_the_Sun-1x07

Aliens are all around us.

This is the story of a band
of four such explorers.

In order to blend in they
have assumed human form.

This is the high commander.

He has assembled an elite team of experts.

A decorated military officer.

A seasoned intelligent specialist.

And...well, they had an extra seat.

The Earth is populated by
millions of beautiful women,

Those that aren't beautiful
have great personalities.

You know, there's something about
the moon and stars thats..

so romantic.
I wish that..

..Dr Albright was here instead of a group
of ungrateful subordinates.

What are you reading?
- "Vogue."

Ha! Look at this.
"Stomachs are in, Breasts are out."

Well, that's just
basic anatomy.

Why don't you
look like that?

Because that woman has
used a line of products

that promotes moist-looking
skin and a vacant look in her eyes.

Well, get some.

I've also noticed, lieutenant, that
most girls smell better than you do.

All right, it's my job
to research women,

so I'll get some soap,
but I want it understood

it's not because
I want to smell nice.

Sally, you know, fragrance
is an integral part of the

human experience.. the
smell of flowers in the springtime,

the aroma of fresh
baked apple pie.

A beautiful sunset

with pink and orange
streaking the sky.

Harry, that's a sight,
not a smell.

Oh. Well,
I knew it was one of those

face hole things.

Good morning!
- Shh!

Please.
I'm meditating.

Oh, meditation.
Interesting.

Sometimes, when I'm
feeling stressed out,

I like to visualize myself
in a peaceful place.

Don't let me interrupt.
You go on.

How do you do it?

Close your eyes.
Breathe.

And picture
a beautiful place.

Okay.

Yes, I'm there.

There's
a lovely breeze.

I'm wearing
a gauzy dress.

A wave hits me,

but it doesn't matter because
I've lost that winter weight.

I take off my shirt.

The sun embraces me like
thousands of warm fingers.

I am relaxed and free.

Even my horse
senses your calm.

I didn't see your big horse,
handsome stranger.

That's because you
were distracted by my..

chiseled pecs.

Just then, their secretary
arrives to say

"it's all-you-can-eat
fish day in the cafeteria."

Ooh, fish. Great.

Ah, yes, fish.

My horse likes fish.

Don't wander off.
I'll just be a second.

And, you, don't
touch anything.

Can I help you
find something from

the Firma De tata
skin care line, miss?

I'm looking for soap.

Are you oily or dry?

It depends on
where you look.

Combination.
Are you familiar with our

foaming face wash,
De bara tata?

Is it soap?
- You'll love it.

And today we have special
on Olia De Firma eye cream.

No, I just want soap.
- How are you on toning gel?

Mi throata tota
is a must.

If it's soap,
I'll take it.

Are you sloughing?

What words are you
not understanding?

I need soap, just the soap. Give me soap!

If I can help you
or answer any questions,

just let me know.
I'm onya.

Okay, onya,
I was wondering

if you could explain to me
this human obsession with youth

and why the cosmetics industry
perpetuates this self-destructive behavior?

Excuse me.

Hey that was great,
what you just said to her.

I've seen you at school, right?
- Yeah, I've seen you, too,

hiding under the bleachers
watching the cheerleaders.

You didn't strike me
as much of a thinker.

I'm August.
Don't call me Auggie.

I'm Tommy. Don't call
me Auggie, either.

You know,
it's so depressing how

the baby boomers
have distorted society.

They screwed up the job
market, froze music for 30 years,

and now this.

Yeah, they've created
an entire industry

attempting to recapture
the youth they squandered.

Tommy, you are
insanely bright.

Well, it's just
how I feel.

"Very berry lip stain."
What do you think?

Me like.

Ooh! There's my cab.
I'm late.

Your cab? Where are you going?
- To the airport.

Oh, the airport. I'd love to see the airport.

We could make a night of it.

Well, I'm just going to be there
until my plane leaves.

Going on a little retreat.
- Retreat? You're going away.

Just for a week.
- A week?

Uh-huh.
Is there a number I can call you if I need you?

Ooh, gotta go. Bye.
But..

Dr. Albright!

Hey! You forgot your..

you forgot your.. me!

Hi.

Care for a complimentary
facial from orca skin care for men?

I don't think I should.

Don't you deserve a little
time-Out for yourself?

No.
- Come on.

Sit down.
Relax.

Oooh Soft.

Thank you.

Ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow.

You really have
great skin.

You probably stay
away from the sun.

Well, after almost
crashing into it,

you learn your lesson.

Most men don't think
they have time for pampering,

but they're wrong.

Well, I'm really
not like most men.

I could tell.

Is it that obvious? Boy,
is Dick going to be mad.

You know, he keeps telling
me that I need to fit in more.

Who's Dick?

He's my high commander.

I was in a relationship
like that once.

Now, doesn't that
feel good?

The first time is always
fabulous, isn't it?

Dick!

Oh it's you.
How's your soap research?

It's more than soap, Dick.
It's a whole regime.

Aviana gave me all these vials
of potions to experiment with.

Okay, this one dulls my shine.
This one brings out my glow.

But I'm going to put 'em both on my face
at the same time and let 'em fight it out.

Who's Aviana?
- She gave me this.

And expected nothing
in return?

So, does anybody notice anything...

different about me?

Your teeth look whiter.

I bet you think I've been
mountain biking, but, no.

It's orca's sunless
sea bronzer for men.

Phillip says that it gives
the illusion of being in the sun

without all
of the elastin damage.

Who's Phillip?
- My skin care specialist.

He taught me
that my self-esteem

does not rely on
what others think of me,

but, instead,
on how I look.

Well, you look
like an idiot.

Oh? Well, the people
at the personnel office

didn't seem to think so.

You're looking

at the new orca pour homme
representative.

I get to wear
a sailor's suit.

Where's Tommy?
- He's with his new girlfriend, August.

August? Phillip? Aviana?
Who are all these people?

What
kind of a store did you go to?

They're just friends we
made. You should try it.

Excuse me, just because I've
developed a relationship with one woman

at the expense of developing a
relationship with any other human on this planet

does not mean I don't have any friends.
- Name one.

Well, I've got lots of friends.
- Who?

Willie, Steve, and...

carpet giant.

Good morning, Dr. Solomon.
Isn't it a beautiful day?

You're in a cheerful mood. Do you
forget that Dr. Albright is gone?

Nope.
- Nina...

do you have the number
where Dr. Albright is staying?

Yep.
- Good.

Could you get her on the phone for me, please?
- She said no calls.

Nina you work for me, too. When
I ask you to do something,

you are to do it
immediately, no questions asked!

Whoo!

Thank you.

Why did you bring me here?
Well, with Dr. Albright gone,

I thought it would be a nice
chance for us friends to catch up.

Mm-hmm.
- So, um...

how long have you
been at Pendleton Nina?

Three years.
- My, that's a long time.

You're going to fire me,
aren't you?

Why would you think that?
- Because I won't give you the phone number.

That would be..
- If you think that I won't cause a scene

just because we're in a fancy
restaurant, you had better think again

because I'm going to tell you
exactly what I think of your sorry ass

and the loser school that owns it
because I, Nina Campbell, am quitting!

I work damn hard for you!

Nina, sit down.

I'm not firing you.

You're not?
- No.

Oh. Okay.

I'd like to change
my order.

Bring me the rack of lamb
and a beefeater martini,

straight up
with an olive.

But about Dr. Albright's number..
- Don't press your luck.

Dick, I made you a sandwich.
Aren't you ever coming home?

Not until I find out where
Dr. Albright is staying.

Oh, mama!
Walk that around.

Why did I say that?
- I've been getting that all day.

Everywhere I go,
men just react like that,

even construction workers.

You know, this stuff
changes you somehow.

It's like the clogged pores keep your
self-esteem from escaping.

I think I like it.

She must have left her number here
somewhere. She keeps everything..

she's so anal.

Will you drop it? We'll
just build another Albright.

We have the technology.
We have the leftover flesh.

And I could really use
the extra freezer space.

Are you mad? There's only one Dr. Albright.

Calm down.

You don't understand.
I need to talk to her right now!

Pull yourself together, man!

Thank you, lieutenant.

You smell great.

You know, Tommy,
you really have an old soul.

I like it.
- Oh, you do?

Well, um... it is really, really old.

So, Dick's not your
real father, is he?

Well, how'd you know?

Well, you seem to have
this kind of loyalty to him, but,

no real emotional connection.

Tommy?
Have I upset you?

No, I was just trying
to look down your blouse.

What? What did I say? What?

I don't know how
I ever could have expected

a 14-year-old boy..
and I emphasize "boy"..

to be able to separate
my body from my mind.

Wait, August, they're attached.
Wait! Hold on.

Wait! Come back!
Wait. Stop.

Let's talk about my feelings some
more. They're really screwed up.

You heard me.

...Mary Albright.

Well, she's not
at the bangkok Sheraton.

When you can't go to the sea,

the sea comes to you
with Orca.

Doesn't "orca"
mean whale?

Yes. All of
our products

are derived from
essential whale oils.

All the goodness
of whale.

Isn't that
animal cruelty?

Oh, no. No, they
don't kill the whales,

they just corner 'em.

You would be amazed
at how much oil they let go

when they are
really scared.

Find out what Eskimo men
have known for centuries.

Ah, I see you're already familiar
with our bronzer.

All Righty.

Aviana..
Aviana, over here.

Excuse me.

Aviana, I'm flaking bad.
I need some more samples.

I'm sorry. Only the first sample is free.

Now you have to pay.
- Just a little scrub.

Half an ounce? I'll get the
money. You know I'm good for it.

I'm sorry. My suppliers
would never go for that.

Okay, I see how this works.

You reel me in with your glossy
ads, get me hooked on freebies.

Next thing you know, I'm out
trying to scrape together enough cash

for a lousy
tube of concealer.

Fine, don't buy it then.

I have plenty of others
who want it.

Would you like a free sample of Firma De tata?

No! Don't do it.
Just say no.

When you can't go
to the..

why did I have
to come here?

I was perfectly happy
sitting in my room,

fantasizing that August
doesn't hate my guts.

Because you're
the information officer.

I'm sure you can defeat
a simple door lock.

What are you doing?!
This is illegal.

Now we're
breaking and entering.

What did you expect me to do? Beam you in?

Smell.

What?
- Mary!

You know, you and I
are pathetic.

We're superior beings. We're
supposed to be here studying the human race,

not mooning over
a couple of chicks.

I'm not mooning, I'm
obsessing. There's a difference.

Now, look around for a travel
brochure or itinerary, something.

No Dick, I have to get home.

I have to wait by the phone
for August not to call.

All right, you do that.
I'm gonna...

hang around here
for a while.

Dick? You're not gonna do
anything creepy, are you?

You know me
better than that.

I'm just going to rifle
through her belongings.

August...

I just came
for my backpack.

Oh. Well, it's
on the bed.

Listen, I ran out, because I was
disappointed in you.

I thought you were
different than other guys.

Oh, I am different.

You have no idea
how different I am.

Well, you're not
totally to blame,

because I know I send
some really mature signals.

Okay, I can deal
with that.

I can forget
the physical stuff

and just be
completely intellectual

all the time.

Well, I hope
not...all the time.

Thank god, 'cause, frankly,
I couldn't have done that.

Look, it's not
that complicated.

Sometimes you go
with the intellectual,

sometimes you go
with the physical,

and sometimes
just closeness is nice.

Well how will I know
when to do what?

I'll decide that
as we go along.

Why, Dr. Albright,

you're being so naughty.

Oh.

I just came by
to feed the fish.

Me, too.

Good morning, Nina.
- Good morning, Dr. Albright. You look great.

I feel like a million bucks.
Did I miss anything?

Mmm, not really.

Mary! You came back!

When humans come together, they..

they... connect somehow.

And when one
of them goes away,

they..they..pull out
a part of you.

Dr. Albright took a piece
of me with her when she left.

And when she came back,
I felt normal again.

Well, as normal
as one can feel in these bodies.

While we're on
the subject of bodies,

why is mine so much higher
maintenance than yours?

I think the economy
relies on it.

Hi, guys.

What are you
selling now?

Well, surprisingly,
I got fired,

but Phillip
found me a new job.

I am now
a full-time employee

at the Spartacus lounge.

Good for you, Harry.

You know, a man is never
really complete when he's alone.

And a woman's not complete
unless she's making you beg.

How do the men here survive
when the women go away?

They go to bars.

They get along
without their women?

They make do.