All language subtitles for The.Courtship.of.Eddies.Father.S02E24.Discipline.is.a.Four.Letter.Word.Spelled.Love.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪♪

- Dad, do you know what?
- What's that?

[Eddie] If apples didn't get
ripe, we wouldn't even be here.

[Tom] Uh-huh. Uh, uh.
How do, how do you figure that?

[Eddie] Well, if the apple didn't
fall and hit Ezik Newton on the--

[Tom] Hold it. Hold it.
Hit who?

- Ezik Newton.
- No, it isn't Ezik.

- Then what is it?
- It's Isaac.

- Isac?
- Isaac. Isaac Newton.

- Oh, well, anyway.
- Um-hm.

[Eddie] If the apple didn't
fall and hit Isaac Newton

on the head, he wouldn't
have discovered gravity

and we'd be falling off the earth.

[Tom] Well, that's-that's not
quite right, Eddie, you see.

But apples are very important.

Now, for example

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

And, uh, let's see.

"Apple of my eye."

Uh, "Apple polishing."

"As American as apple pie."

[Eddie] Gee, dad. It's a good
thing, Ezik Newton wasn't--

- No, Isaac, Isaac.
- Oh.

[Eddie] Well, anyway, it's a good thing

Isaac Newton wasn't hit

on the head by a kumquat.

[Tom] Oh, Eddie.

[Eddie] And especially in the
Garden of Even. If he--

[Tom] Ev... The gard-the garden of Even?

That's the Garden of Eden.

- Eden?
- Yeah, Eden.

[Eddie] Well, especially
in the Garden of Eden

if Eve offered Adam a kumquat

he probably wouldn't have eaten it

and we'd still be walking around here

wearing fig leaves.

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

[Eddie] But I am not sick.

I'm in very fine condition.

It's not my birthday or
Christmas or anything.

Honest.

My dad just told me
that he was gonna come

and bring me a present.

Well, maybe my dad's
rewarding me for something

that I don't know about.

Well, sometimes I do great things

and I'm really surprised to
find out that I did 'em.

- I'm home, sport.
- Hey, wait a min...

Billy, he's here.

- Hi, dad.
- Hello, hello, hello.

How come you're getting me a
present if it's not my birthday?

I am not running a fever.

Well, because it's Wednesday.

Hey, that's a great reason.
What'd you get me?

Got you a chemistry set.

Just a minute.

It's a chemistry set on
account of it's Wednesday.

Look at that set.

Oh. Wow!

I bet I could make all kinds

of weird experiments with this set.

Yeah, yeah. Just don't
blow up the house, okay?

Mr. Eddie's father, are
the chemicals dangerous?

Well, they're about as
dangerous as a vodka martini.

- Without the vodka.
- Oh.

Hey, this is just like the kind

the mad scientists use on television.

And I'm gonna make all kinds
of weird experiments too.

Hey, there's some pretty wild
experiments right in here.

Look at all these.

You're not gonna help me
do any of the experiments

are you, dad?

Oh, well, did Mr. Einstein
help little Albert?

Eddie, chemicals can spoil the carpet.

So, you must play only in the bathroom.

It's good thing to remember.
Don't forget that. Okay?

What do you think I ought to make first?

Well, I don't know. How 'bout
a steak, hm? I'm starving.

Oh! Dinner will be ready in few minutes.

Thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

Boy, this is the best

super deluxe chemistry set I ever saw.

Well, I'm really glad
you like it, sport.

Now, let me see those
nails of yours, huh?

Yes, that's what I thought.

Why don't you wash up
before dinner, okay?

Okay. You know why I like you, dad?

No. Tell me why.

'Cause you're super deluxe

even when you don't have to be.

[chuckles]

You really have a way with words

don't you, you little devil?

Get in there and wash up.

I'm home, Mrs. Livingston.

Hi, Eddie.
Would you like milk and cookies?

No, I don't have time. I gotta
finish my new experiment.

Remember, not on the carpet.

[door closes]

♪♪

Let's see what'll I make.
Let's see.

"Ink. Measure three parts
water into a large beaker."

That's you.

[door opens]

You know, you're not supposed to play

on the carpet with chemical.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Move them into the bathroom, please.

Okay, Mrs. Livingston.

Do it before you spill something.

Please.

[door closes]

Hey, that worked.

[Mrs. Livingston] Do it
before you spill something.

[Mrs. Livingston] The chemicals
can spoil the carpet.

[Tom] Yeah, that's a good
thing to remember, okay?

♪♪

[Mrs. Livingston] You know,
you're not supposed to play

on the carpet with chemicals.

Move them into the bathroom.

♪♪

[Mrs. Livingston] The chemicals
can spoil the carpet

so you must play only in the bathroom.

- Eddie?
- Would you...

What happened?

What do you mean, Mrs. Livingston?

What a mess!

A mess?

I don't think my room is a mess.

I just like it to be, uh, uh...

I just like my room to be casual.

What is the flower pot
doing on the floor?

Oh.

Oh, Eddie.

[sighs]

This too?

I'll move the toy chest, Mrs. Livingston

but I know, you're not gonna like it.

Eddie, you will have to tell
your father what happened.

Well, he won't like it either.

[Mrs. Livingston] Oh, no.

See, I told you, you wouldn't like it.

Well...

I guess I'd better show you this

so I won't get in trouble, twice.

Oh.

Anything else?

No, nothing else except for this.

♪♪

I guess you're pretty
mad at me, aren't you?

It is your father who'll
be angry, Eddie.

They're just like the
footprints of Robinson Crusoe

found on the deserted
island, right, dad?

Except for today isn't Friday.

And except that this isn't sand

and the tide is not gonna
wash these footprints away.

Now, Eddie, after you were told

not to use your chemistry
set in the carpet

why did you do it?

Well, I guess, I didn't
expect anything to happen.

Oh, I see.

I won't do it again, dad.
I promise.

Eddie, you may not get a
chance to do it again.

What do you mean?

Come here, sport.

- Eddie.
- Hm?

Do you remember the bargain

that you and I made

about responsibility?

Oh, you mean that one

if I can't prove that I'm responsible

for something, you'll take it away?

[Tom] That's the one.

You mean, you're gonna take away

that neato super deluxe chemistry set

that you gave me for a Wednesday?

Eddie, do you think I
should take it away?

I guess it depends on how
we feel about bargains.

How do we feel about making a bargain?

Well...

I think we ought to keep 'em.

That's right.

Well, Eddie, look.

Now that we have agreed on the bargain

and principle

I think that just this one time

we don't have to put it into practice.

I'm not sure I know what you mean.

You can keep the chemistry set.

Hey, neato!

But remember, we're bending a bargain

just this one time.
Don't forget it.

I won't forget, dad.

Okay.

Well, Mrs. Livingston, uh, don't
really worry about the carpet.

I'll have the cleaners
come in tomorrow morning

and take care of it.

Um, Mrs. Livingston

uh, I could really use
somehors d'oeuvres

to go with the martini
I'm about to fix, hm?

Yes, Mr. Eddie's father.

Uh, Mrs. Livingston.

I, uh... I know, I was probably
a little lenient with him.

Well, those are your decisions.

Yeah, well, the truth of
the matter is, um...

Well, y-you see, I just
didn't have the heart

to take it away from him.

When I was about his age, I...

Well, I, sort of ruined the finish

on a dining room table with
a chemical experiment.

And my father couldn't
take my chemistry set

away from me either.

Excuse me, I will start
thehors d'oeuvresnow.

Hm.

♪♪

Mm, they look good.
May I?

Please.

Mrs. Livingston, I, um...

I don't think you approve of my father

letting me keep my chemistry set.

You mean, I don't approve

you letting Eddie keep
the chemistry set.

Yes, I think that's
what I mean, alright.

It is not for me to say,
Mr. Eddie's father.

But I'd, I'd like to hear what
you think, Mrs. Livingston.

Very well. I think sometime you
are too lenient with Eddie.

Uh, well, uh, yeah, that,
that might be true

but I don't think that a
couple of spots in the rug

are that important.

I am not concerned about the
carpet, Mr. Eddie's father.

I mean, it's just a matter
of carelessness, you know?

Then, he must learn how not to be.

Yes, but I-I think he'll
learn just as well

with his chemistry set, as without it.

♪♪

Yourhors d'oeuvreswill be ready
soon, Mr. Eddie's father.

Hm. You still disagree with my father.

I-I will bring them to you
when they are ready.

Alright.

My mother didn't agree
with my father either.

Well, that sure is a great machine.

It better be.
Ink's pretty hard to get out.

It's 'bout the best I can do.

Uh, it will have to be
vacuumed after it dries.

I'll do it.

I'll bet you got a whack for doing this.

No, my dad never whacks me.

We just have man-to-man talk.

Yeah? In my house, I whack first
then we have a man-to-man talk.

Uh, tell Mr. Corbett it'll, uh,
look better after it dries.

Yes, I'll tell him.
Thank you.

- Mrs. Livingston.
- Yes?

You didn't ask me if I
wanted milk and cookies

when I came home from school today.

Oh, you may have them.

- Eddie, are you finished?
- Thank you.

Yes, thank you.

- Mrs. Livingston.
- Yes?

It was a delicious dinner.

Thank you.

Mrs. Livingston isn't acting
very friendly, isn't she, dad?

I don't know, Eddie, I think
she's just a little upset

after yesterday, that's all.

Well, maybe

if we start being extra nice to her

she'll start smiling again

instead of going around
the house all day

looking inscrutable.

- It's worth a try.
- Yeah.

♪♪

- Eddie.
- Hm?

I think you could use a little more

enthusiasm with that toothbrush.

Hm, hm, hm?
Come on. Come on.

Dad, with all this brushing,
I could wear out my teeth.

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, go ahead.
Come on, come on.

Up and down, up and down.
All around, all around.

Up. That's it, that's it.
In between, in between.

Very good.

[gargling]

Oh, that was a great sloppy gargle.

[giggling]

Do you know that Billy Gerber

could even gargle without water?

- Without water, huh?
- Um-hmm.

Well, that's a talent
that boggles the mind.

I don't know how he does it.

- How do you do that?
- I'll never tell.

I was scared once by a swing pole.

- Could I do it, dad? Could I?
- Alright. Come on up here.

Eeeyah! Okay.

Now, relax and go "Aaa."

- Aaa.
- Aaa. Now go "Grrr."

- Grrr.
- No, not the tongue.

Not the tongue.
Now, just relax the throat.

- Okay, okay.
- Now relax the, the...

What they call the, the, the throat.

Ha-ha, relax it. Now, do it.
Make the noise.

- Aa-grrr.
- Grrr.

Just terrible. Just terrible.

Okay, come on, get the
speed out of this.

Come on. Relax those toes.
Relax 'em. Okay.

Now, you practice that, right?

And tomorrow morning we will go through

our "Grrrs" together, okay?

- Okay.
- Goodnight.

Goodnight.

[Eddie] Hey, dad.

Yes, sir.

How come ladies get mad
easier than fathers?

How come ladies get mad easier...

Oh. Oh, I guess, you're
referring to Mrs. Livingston.

Well, Eddie... Scoot a little bit.

Attaboy.

I don't think she's mad, Eddie.

I just think that she's a little upset.

Because you used your
chemistry set on the carpet

after you were told not to.

Well, Billy Gerber's
mother is upset, too.

And all he did was just
busted up an old lamp.

Not on purpose.

Oh, yes.

Well, ladies do have a tendency

to get upset over things like that.

I'm sure glad, you're not a lady, dad.

Yeah, so am I.

- Goodnight, dad.
- Goodnight, sport.

Goodnight.

You know, I've been extra
nice to Mrs. Livingston

and she still hasn't
started smiling again.

I don't think, she likes me anymore.

Oh, I don't know.
I think, she likes you.

And how come she keeps
on acting that way?

We had finger painting today
at school, Mrs. Livingston.

That's why my hands have
so many different colors.

I'll help you bring a
clean towel right now.

Okay.

So...

Still green.

[gasps]

Oh, boy.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Livingston.

- Mrs. Livingston.
- Yes?

How do peas know to stop when
the shell is all filled up?

It is nature's way, Eddie.

Is it the same kinda
nature as human nature?

No, they're very different.

Plants have no intelligence.

So, if the grow badly,
they cannot be blamed.

But people must take
responsibility for what they do.

Yeah, I know.
My dad's always saying that.

♪♪

Hey, Mrs. Livingston, do you hear music?

- I think it's a band.
- I bet you, it's a parade.

Mrs. Livingston, come here
and see! It's a parade.

They've got uniforms and everything.

[gasps]

Mrs. Livingston, you're hurting me!

Don't you ever do that again!

You must never, never do that
again. Do you understand?

Mrs. Livingston, Eddie, what happened?

Mrs. Livingston hurt me, dad!
She hurt me!

♪♪

[sighs] Eddie, for openers

I want you to apologize
to Mrs. Livingston

for scaring her so badly.

Oh, gosh, she hurt me very
badly when she grabbed me.

Eddie, she grabbed you
because she cares about you

and she didn't want you to fall.

I'm sorry for scaring you
very badly, Mrs. Livingston.

That's okay.

Alright, Eddie.

Now, why did you climb up in the
chair, in the first place?

'Cause I wanted to see the parade.

You've been told more times
than I can possibly remember

don't go anywhere near that rail.

It is very dangerous.

I guess I wasn't thinking about that.

I see. Why?

'Cause I was so excited
about seeing the parade.

No excuse.

I'm sorry, dad.

Promise, I'll never do it again.

Okay.

Now, uh, you go in your room

and you start your homework, alright?

Excuse me.

Mr. Eddie's father.

Yes, Mrs. Livingston.

I do not think you realize

how close Eddie came to
falling off the railing.

Well, I...

Mrs. Livingston, I know
it's probably little scary

but I've talked to Eddie and...

...I don't think he'll try it again.

♪♪

[Eddie] One of those.

Eddie! Eddie!

Eddie!

Don't you ever, ever, ever
do a thing like that again.

You whacked me!

Yes, I did, and I'll do it again

if you ever get near that rail.

If you hit me, you don't love me.

Eddie, it's because I
love you that I hit you.

But I was only trying to get my kite.

And you could've fallen...

Eddie, you go into your room
and you think about that.

Okay, but you are not my
best friend anymore.

♪♪

[Tom] Mrs. Livingston.

You, uh... you saw?

Yes, I did.

[sighs]

I don't think I've ever
been so scared in my life.

I don't even know how Eddie
got on that terrace.

Well, you were right, Mrs. Livingston.

You know, if I'd been little
firmer in the beginning

I don't think any of
this would've happened.

I'll, I'll start coffee now.

Mr. Eddie's father, please do
not be upset what Eddie said.

[Tom] But I'm not his
best friend anymore.

Children say things in anger.

- He loves you very much.
- Yes.

♪♪

I'm sorry, dad.

You're still my best friend.

[Eddie] I read in a book
that once upon a time

long time ago, we all had tails.

[Tom] That's true.

[Eddie] How come we don't have them now?

[Tom] Well, we outgrew them,
see, we don't have any

need for them anymore.

[Eddie] I'd sure like a tail.

- Oh, you would, huh?
- Sure.

[Eddie] I could wag it a lot
when I am happy. Like now.

[Tom] Oh, well, what
if you were unhappy?

[Eddie] Well, then I could
stick it between my legs

and go running off and hide.

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪