All language subtitles for The.Courtship.of.Eddies.Father.S02E22.To.Catch.a.Thief.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]

[Eddie] What's the happiest
thing you can think of

right this moment, dad?

[Tom] The happiest thing I can
think of right this moment

is being here and having you ask

what's the happiest thing
you can think of.

[Eddie] Secrets are fun, aren't they?

[Tom] Yes, Eddie, they are.

[Eddie] Except from when
they're somebody else's

and they won't tell you.

Want me to tell you a secret?

[Tom] Well, if you tell somebody, Eddie

then it's not a secret anymore.

[Eddie] Then if I can't tell anybody

what's so good of having a secret?

I guess maybe it's better
not to have any secrets.

[Tom] Yeah, I guess maybe you're right.

[Eddie] Then you don't have to
worry about who to tell 'em to.

[Tom] Right.

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm-hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Yeah he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

[scatting]

- Mrs. Livingston.
- Yes.

[Tom] Have you seen my gold cufflinks?

[Mrs. Livingston] 'No. Have you lost them?

[Tom] Yes, I want to wear them
tonight, but I can't find them.

Is it possible they went
out in the laundry?

[Mrs. Livingston] I don't
think so, but I will call

the laundry in the morning.

[Tom] Oh, fine. Thank you
very much, Mrs. Livingston.

Mm-hmm.

Having trouble getting going
on your composition, huh?

Yeah. Every kid in school
has to write about ecology

but I just can't get started.

Well, Eddie, you are learning
one of the hardest parts

of a writer's life, getting started.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, the thing to do is to start.

Think. Write.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

[Tom] Have you seen my gold cufflinks?

[phone rings]

Hello, Mark.

This is Eddie.
I want those cufflinks back.

I just need 'em back, that's all.

But I know they are the best
things we got in the kitty, Mark

but I'll pay back two
things for 'em, okay?

Well, you can at least meet
me in the hideout tomorrow

after school, Mark, please.

♪♪

[shower running]

More coffee, Mr. Eddie's Father?

Mm, no, thank you, Mrs. Livingston.

Eddie, isn't it about time
for your school bus, hmm?

- Yeah, almost.
- See you tonight, sport.

- Thank you, Mrs. Livingston.
- Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

♪♪

[pan sizzles]

I just wanted to see what was for lunch.

A-a tuna fish sandwich

and instead of cookies,
I put in some fruit.

Looks good.

Tom. Ahem, Tom. Tom.

[speaking in foreign language]

Yes, and peace on Earth to you too.

Oh, I'll help you.

- What are we looking for?
- My gold cufflinks.

What would they be doing in our desk?

Linking. I didn't loan it to you, did I?

No, but I'd help you out.
I'll-I'll borrow them.

- Norman, get out of my--
- Out of my office. I know.

Look, I just came in to have you
check the proof. See, okay?

- Terrific, huh?
- Yeah, fantastic.

- Okay, okay.
- Go. Go.

Mark.

Sure did take your time.

You're lucky I came at all.

Now what's all this about the cufflinks?

I want 'em back.

You know all the stuff we
steal is the property

of the club and no refunds.

Yeah, but I'm lettin' you use
my place for a hideout.

That ought to be worth something.

This old crate? You're lucky we
didn't find some better place.

Hey, bet you these are solid gold.

Probably worth about $1000.

[Mark] What do you got
to trade for this?

This old timer.

- That's for cooking.
- No, it's not.

It's also to show you
how fast you can run.

How?

Oh, you see, you set
the dial about there

and then you run and
when you hear a ding

like that, it shows you
how fast you ran.

Yeah, but if I run far, how
will I hear the ding?

You could run in a circle.

What else you got?

I got this belt.

I bet you that buckle's more of
solid gold than those cufflinks.

It's an okay belt.

You'll be the only one wearing it.

It's way too big for the rest of us.

Okay. It's a trade for
the belt and the timer.

Thanks.

[Tom] Hey, sport, throw that
in the clothing hamper

for me, would you, please?

Well, there are my gold cufflinks.

I can't believe that.

I gotta get some new glasses.

- Dad.
- Mm-hmm.

When you get new glasses,
could I wear your old ones?

- No, you may not.
- How come?

- Because you don't need 'em.
- Yes, I do.

- What for?
- So I can look like you.

Where is my belt with the gold buckle?

Well, um, dad, um, uh, uh

you-you could eat more hamburgers

if you don't have a belt.

Come on, let's go.
I'm starving.

I thought you were gonna throw that

in the clothing hamper for me.

- Um, uh, okay.
- Oh, uh, mm-hmm.

Yes, uh, hmm.

Hm.

Mm, good morning, Mrs. Livingston.

Good morning, Mr. Eddie's Father.

Mr. Eddie's Father, your
watch, it has a third hand?

A third hand?

Oh! You, oh, you mean, you
mean the second hand?

- Yes, yes, it has.
- May I borrow it for the eggs?

I cannot find the kitchen timer.

Sure thing.

You say you-you can't find the timer?

Yes, it is strange.
I used it for the eggs yesterday

and I always keep it here,
but this morning it's gone.

Ha. Hm.

Hi, Mrs. Livingston.
Good morning, dad.

- Good morning, Eddie.
- Good morning, sport.

Eddie, um, Mrs. Livingston
can't find the kitchen timer.

Do you know anything about that?

Oh, yeah, I, uh, borrowed it.

Why did you not ask first?

Because if you knew the reason
why I wanted to borrow it

you wouldn't let me have it.

Huh, why did you have to borrow it?

Hm.

I just wanted to get the cufflinks back.

- Your father's gold one?
- That's right.

E-Eddie, my, uh, my belt?

Do you know anything about that?

Yeah, I had to borrow it too.

I had to trade in, it and the timer

to get back your cufflinks

because Mark thinks that those cufflinks

are worth $1000.

Eddie, uh, Eddie, what is going on?

Well, you know my friends,
um, Danny and Scott?

Yes, yes, I do, yes.

Well, um, this big kid named Mark...

Uh-huh.

They got us sort of
organized into this gang.

What kind of gang?

Well, uh, we sort of take
things from stores.

Eddie, do you mean you're stealing?

Well, I'm really not stealing, dad.

It's just taking things.

Uh, Mrs. Livingston,
would you mind checking

my su-suit in the closet?

- Uh, Eddie.
- Mm?

Eddie, when you take something

anything that doesn't belong
to you, that's stealing.

Now it-it, it doesn't really
matter what you call it.

It's still stealing.

Oh, yeah, but I didn't wanna
take anything from the store

so I took things from you
and Mrs. Livingston.

And then I told the gang
that it was from stores.

- Why?
- So I could be in the gang.

Eddie, what the gang is doing is wrong.

How is it wrong?

Because they're morally wrong.
And they're breaking the law.

What's so bad about breaking the law?

[scoffs] Well, Eddie,
without laws, society...

...couldn't function.
Uh, uh--

Oh, do you mean like
Mrs. Livingston can't cook

the eggs without that kitchen
timer I took from her?

Yes, thank you very much, Eddie.
That's exactly what I mean.

I'm sorry, dad.
I won't do it again.

I'm afraid it's a little more
complicated than that, Eddie.

Mrs. Livingston still
hasn't got her timer back

and I don't have my belt.

And I think that you

you ought to do something about it.

Okay, I'll try to get 'em back.

Alright, but, Eddie, if
you can't get them back

I think that you should take
care of them personally.

You mean I'll have to take care of it

with my own allowance money?

Yes.

Oh, and, Eddie...

...I don't want you to
see these boys anymore.

Ah-ha. This is where it's coming from.

- What?
- The gloom.

It's permeating the whole building.

It's worse than the smog.

Eddie is stealing, Norman.

He and some of his friends.

Oh, uh...

Well, have you discussed it with
his other friends' parents?

No.

No, I haven't because I feel

I should get my own
house in order first.

Uh, well, this may come as a
small consolation to you

but, uh, it's normal.
All kids steal.

I stole, you stole.

No, I didn't that I can remember.

- You didn't?
- No.

See, I remember I stole a watermelon.

[chuckles] It's terrific.
A little kid like me

with a great big oversized watermelon.

What'd you do when they caught you?

They didn't catch me, they
figured any little kid

walking around a store with a
watermelon twice his size

can't be stealing it.

Wait a minute.

- I did steal something once.
- Ah-ha.

I stole a Spritzer from
the five and dime.

Just the Spritzer, not the bottle.

What good is a Spritzer
without a bottle?

That's the point.

I was a very impractical thief.

Oh, come on now, this is about Eddie.

What are we joking about?

You're joking because it's not serious.

Stealing is a part of every
little boy's childhood.

Dr. Spock puts it right
next to chicken pox.

Eddie is not gonna grow
up to be Dillinger.

Dillinger started some place.

Yeah, but not with a
Spritzer in a water bottle.

Well, Eddie is not gonna steal anymore.

- Right.
- But there is another problem.

- And I created it.
- What's that?

Well, I told him he couldn't
see his friends anymore.

- That's heavy.
- Yeah.

Mm-hmm.
Not having any friends.

I know.

Well, uh, what are you
gonna do about it?

Well, I'm going to put
more trust in my son

and in what I've tried to teach him.

How are you gonna do that?

Well, I'm gonna let him see his friends

so long as he doesn't steal anymore.

The point of it is, I want him
to make his own moral decisions

because I'm not always gonna be
around to make them for him.

Terrific. I can finish
this whole conversation

right away if you'll
just do me one favor.

Hm?

Why don't you just give me back

my orange felt tip pen

that you borrowed from me
last week for five minutes?

I'm sorry about that.

"And so those are the
reasons that I think

"every young boy should have a horse

"because it's good for ecology.

The end."

Well, Eddie, that is a
very good composition.

- Then do I get my horse?
- No, you don't get your horse.

But you'll probably get an A
in your composition though.

That's one good thing coming
straight home from school.

- At least I finished it.
- Yeah, and a day early too.

Mark's been so busy planning jobs

he hasn't even started his.

Yeah, well, Eddie, uh,
that brings to mind

something that I would like
to talk to you about.

What?

Well, about, uh, my telling you
to stay away from your friends.

Mm-hmm.

I think you should see your friends.

What made you change your mind?

Well, I got to thinking

that instead of letting you
deal with the problem

I was dealing with it for you.

Okay, dad, but I won't steal anymore.

Good, it's very important

that you came to that
decision by yourself.

You see this?

While you've been home doing
your stupid composition

we've been stealing stuff like this.

Well, it's pretty good stuff, but
I'm not gonna steal anymore.

- You're not?
- No, I think stealing is wrong.

Anyone who thinks like
that can't be in my gang.

So why don't you just get out here?

It's for club members only.

- But this is my place.
- It was your place.

- Out!
- What if I decide not to go?

I'll just have to persuade you.

- Ow.
- Like I said, out!

[Mark] Hey, you stupid, wait a second.

Your school things.

Sounds like some gang.

Yeah, they have a binding oath.

They all chew the same piece of
gum and then they're united.

Mm-hmm, united in the common
cause of intestinal flu.

Yeah, when Eddie told 'em
he wouldn't steal anymore

of course, they wouldn't
let him take the oath.

So now he comes home everyday
right after school.

Give it time.
It will work out.

Give it time, huh?

That's what people say when
they don't have an answer.

Good evening to you, Mr. Eddie's Father.

Good evening, Mrs. Livingston.
Eddie home yet?

- No, not yet.
- Oh, good.

Maybe that means his friends
have taken him back

on his own terms.

Maybe he found new friends.

Maybe.

- Hi, sport.
- Hi.

Not playing with your friends, huh?

No, I had to stay after school.

What for, Eddie?

'Cause I didn't have my composition.

You didn't have a composition?

Eddie, I read your composition
the night before last.

I know it, but when I went
in to turn it in today

I didn't have it.

- Guess I lost it.
- Oh, no, wait a second.

Are you sure that you
didn't take it to school?

I'm positive.
I took it in my bag.

I had it in the crate
with Mark and his gang.

Eddie, the gang, did they all
turn in their compositions?

- Yep.
- Including Mark?

Yeah.

Well, Eddie, didn't you tell me

that Mark was so busy planning jobs

that he didn't even
start his composition?

That's it, dad.

Mark, he stole my composition.

You stole my composition.

Eddie, you're speaking to our leader.

I'm talking to the stupid
jerk who's a thief.

Stealing is wrong.

What are you doing in that locker?

I'm gettin' my things back.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

You're just sore because you
had to stay after school.

I'm just sore because I ever
decided to be in this gang.

You're all stupid and I quit.

We didn't need him anyways.

I put dad's belt back and here's
your timer, Mrs. Livingston.

- Thank you, Eddie.
- I'm sorry.

I'm glad you brought it back.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Hi, Eddie.
Hi, Mrs. Livingston.

Hi, Scott.

What are you doing here?

I came to play with you.

If Mark finds out, he'll
kick you out of the gang.

Who cares about Mark?
I'd rather play with you.

- You would? How come?
- Because you stood up to Mark.

The other guys feel the same way.

- Honest?
- Honest.

- Danny's coming over.
- Here?

Sure. So is the rest of them.

I better make lots of sandwiches.

You know what kind.

- Peanut butter and jelly.
- Right.

Wanna go down to the drugstore with me?

What for?

So I could buy lots of bubblegum.

Then we can make our own binding oath.

Sure.

Be right back, Mrs. Livingston.

- Hey.
- Hm?

[chuckles]

Eddie Corbett, you are a good man.

- Thanks, dad.
- You are welcome.

- But you know what's funny?
- What's that?

Well, both times I told
Mark the same thing.

- That stealing is wrong.
- Oh, yeah.

But the second time after my homework

I sure did feel different about it.

Well, I think the second
time, you meant it.

But what about the first time?

The first time?

I think you did that just to please me.

- Goodnight, sport.
- Goodnight.

- Hey, dad.
- Mm-hmm.

- Know somethin'?
- What's that?

I sure am glad I have all
my friends back now

but you're still my best friend.

So you really told that Mark off, huh?

- Yep.
- And then he quit the gang.

And he marched off into
the sunset all alone.

- Terrific.
- Yeah.

That's why I'm getting rewarded.

Being able to hang around
the office all day.

Hey, and some of the other
guys quit the gang too.

Mm-hmm. Hey, don't you worry
about it. You really did good.

And some day even that
Mark is gonna come back.

How do you know that?

How do I know it?
I just know it.

How do you know so much about it?

- It happened to me.
- You're kidding?

You mean you belonged to
a gang and you stood up

to the ring leader and just
walked out like that?

No, I was the ring leader.

They all deserted me.

- Aww.
- Aww.

Poor baby.

[Eddie] How come if there are
cowboys, there are no bull girls?

[Tom] You wait till you grow up, Eddie.

- Dad.
- What is it?

[Eddie] Well, nothing, but
it, is a mice one or two?

- A mice?
- Yeah.

[Tom] A mice is two or more.

[Eddie] That's a lot of mices.

[Tom] No-no, Eddie.
That's a lot of mouses.

[Eddie] I liked it better my way.

- Dad?
- Yeah.

[Eddie] Do you mind all
the questions I ask you?

[Tom] Yes and no.

[Eddie] What do you mean yes and no?

[Tom] Well, no, I don't
mind your questions.

And yes, I do mind not
knowing all the answers.

- That's terrific.
- Mm-hmm.

[Tom] But does that
answer your question?

[Eddie] Yes and no.

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted-person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪