All language subtitles for The.Courtship.of.Eddies.Father.S01E25.Dont.Look.Now.But.Your.Scorpios.Rising.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]

[Eddie] Dad, I've decided
what musical instrument

I wanna learn to play.

[Tom] Good, which one?

[Eddie chuckles] Huh, the radio.

[Tom] Yeah, then you'll be tuned in.

[Eddie chuckles]

[Eddie] What's black and
white and red all over?

[Tom] A newspaper?

[Eddie] Ah, you knew it.

Yeah, that's one of the disadvantages

of being a father.

You're older than your son.

[Eddie] What's ink?

[Tom] Um, ink is something

that was once used to write with.

[Eddie] Oh, I guess that must've
been in the olden days.

[Tom] Hm.

[theme song]

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ Ba ba ba whoops ♪♪

Alright, fine, Charlie, thank
you very much. Yeah, bye-bye.

- I'm sorry, but--
- Yes, Tina.

What did you say your
birth sign was again?

Ah, Aquarius.

Oh, I thought that's what you said.

- What's wrong, Tina?
- I'm a Taurus.

[chuckles] No wonder you're so sexy.
It's a great sign.

Not with Aquarius, it isn't.

What was that all about?

Hm, well, we, uh, ordered a couple

of those computerized horoscopes.

You know, for the research
and the article, and...

I don't know, Tina's been hung
up on 'em for a couple of days.

- Some people buy anything.
- Hm.

That's what's great about us Leos.

- We know better.
- Hm.

- Mr. Corbett
- Hm.

What is your very, very
worst sign, zodiac wise?

Tina, do we have to do that right now?

Mm-hmm.

[Tom] Um, Taurus and Scorpio.

What's wrong?

I'm a Taurus with Scorpio rising.

So?

According to my chart, this
month is the crucial time

for me to start looking for
a new place of employment.

Yes, well, Tina, could you, uh,
go back to your typing now?

You see, you see how the
friction is building?

I mean, the vibrations are
terrible, Mr. Corbett.

The harmony is all gone.

I've been thinking about it for two days

and now, I'm quitting.

You're quitting?

- You're kidding.
- Mnm-mnm.

I'm sorry not to have
given you any notice

but if I'd given you notice
and you would've tried

to talk me into severance pay

and then we would've had a big hassle

and I'd like to leave being friends.

Mm-hmm, that's nice.
Leaving being friends.

Nice, yes, yes.

Tina, do you mean you're
gonna quit on me

right in the middle of this article?

Yes, Mr. Corbett.

You can fight City Hall, but
you can't fight your karma.

♪♪

Bye.

- Keep in touch, lovey.
- Okay.

Think about me sometime.

Oh! I'm thinking about you now, Tina.

[sighs] She's really crazy.

Tina!

Heavy. That's heavy.

And so she took her Taurus
with Scorpio rising

and marched right out the door.

She quit.

What are you talking about, dad?

Astrology, Eddie.

Now, as to believing in
it, some people do...

...some people don't.

What's astrolo-jamy?

Astrology is an ancient
system of using planets

to tell what your life would be like.

Plants?

I mean, you could tell
what my life will be like

with plants, any old plants?

[chuckles] No, Eddie, no, not plants.

Now, planets. That like in
the heavens, you know?

Yeah, look-look, um, look,
come on. I'll show you.

♪ Don't forget your dad
is still your best friend ♪♪

Alright, easy, easy as you
climb that mountain.

Alright, you're going
down in the valley.

Beautiful, beautiful, you
didn't drop the supplies.

Now, look.

Now, this is called a
horoscope, you see.

And according to this, we each
have a different ruling planet

and a different birth sign, see.

Not I and you, dad.

Look, we both have the same sign.

Is that because we're best friends?

No, no, no, it's not, Eddie.

No, that's because, you and I
were both born in early...

Oops! You're gonna spill that.

In early February, you see.

Now, if you and I had been
born, for example in August

well, we would have
been a different sign

we would have been...

Well, um, ahem, technically
we'd soundlike Tina.

Yeah, you know, the whole
country is caught up in this

and, uh, now I'm going along with 'em.

Do you not believe in
astrology, Mr. Eddie's father?

Well, uh, when it says what
I, what I wanna hear, I do.

And when I lose a
secretary in the middle

of a crisis I don't.

Oh, I see.

I know why you're having
all this trouble, dad.

You do?

It's because...

"This month the trend

"is for disappointments

"and... trouble

from co-workers."

And that's why you're having
all this trouble, dad.

It says right here in your horoscope.

♪♪

Well, uh, thank you very
much miss, and we'll...

- Well, we'll call you.
- Yeah, groovy.

Yeah.

[knock on door]

Come on in, Norman.

Couldn't type, huh?

Nope. And that is the fourth one today.

Do you know what today's
American labor force

consists of?

- No.
- Beautiful children.

- Hey, I'll drink to that.
- Yeah, you can afford to.

You don't need a secretary.

Yeah, I know the agency you want.

I can't think of their name,
but it'll come to me.

They've nothing, but Wonder Women.

Type, the dictation great, the best.

Robots, with antennas comin'
out their heads. You'll flip.

- Toolie Girls.
- Toolie Girls.

[gasps] Oh!

- Well, I called them.
- Mm-hmm.

- What happened?
- Everyone wants 'em.

They are temporarily
out of toolie girls.

Hm.

[knock on door]

Come in.

Mr. Corbett, I'm Miss
Atwater, your toolie girl.

H-how do you, how do you do?

Mm-hm, the legs are hired.

Ah, Norman.

Ah, uh, this is Mr. Tinker.

- Mr. Tinker.
- How do you do?

Well, h-how did I get so lucky?

I was told by the agency
that I'd have to wait.

Oh, well, um, I turned down another job

because I've heard so
much about your magazine

Mr. Corbett, and you.

I, uh...

Perhaps, this job might offer some

rather interesting challenges.

Yes, yes, yes, it does.

As a matter of fact, we're in a bit

of a bind right now, Miss Atwater.

Well, that's my specialty, Mr. Corbett.

I hope you'll, uh, forgive the mess

but my last secretary had a
rather unique filing system.

Well, as I said before, Mr. Corbett, um

I enjoy a challenge.

♪♪

Shall we get to work?

[intercom beeps]

Mr. Corbett, you want the
astro-bio file, I believe.

Well, you, you read minds too.

Oh, no, it's just that I thought

logically you'd be needing it about now.

Aha!

Here we are.

I, um...

I take two sugars in my coffee.

Yes, I know, I checked around.

Uh, here's the article you wanted typed.

But I only dictated that
to you five minutes ago.

Time is money, Mr. Corbett.

Your phone messages.

Oh, and your next appointment
is Senator Anderson.

He's quite fond of good cigars,
so, uh, I took the liberty.

I'm sure you want to offer him one.

Will there be anything else?

What else could there possibly be?

Oh, the windows.

Uh, the men will be here
to wash the windows

after Senator Anderson leaves.

I don't mind the windows
the way they are.

Now, Mr. Corbett, you don't
want to put off for tomorrow

what can be done today.

Why not?
Who's checking?

♪♪

But one thing you must admit.

She's a very unusual
woman, your Miss Atwater.

Yeah, she is, she types faster
than the speed of sound.

Mm, and at the rate you dictate,
you'll never catch up to her.

Yeah, she's a college
graduate, you know.

English major.

Corrects your grammar, doesn't she?

Constantly.

- Some people call her a jewel.
- Hm.

Rare jewel.
Like the Hope diamond.

Isn't that the diamond that's
got that curse on it?

Oh, could I take a message for you?

- Oh, no, I see him, thank you.
- She's here.

[Charlie] But, madam, this is
strictly a bar for gentlemen, you--

[Atwater] Seat for a lady.

Mr. Corbett, I looked all
over the restaurant for you.

- Madam, you're not allowed--
- Oh, yes, captain.

I'd like a hamburger and coffee now.

- Uh, Mr. Corbett--
- Charlie, Charlie, uh...

Oh, well, do sit down, don't
let your soup get cold.

Oh.

I thought perhaps, you'd like to get

a little work in while you're relaxing.

Yes. Time is money.

Certainly is.

Oh, and speaking of that your
personal checking account

is getting near the minimum level.

- My personal checking account?
- Hm.

[chuckles] What?
Where do you find the time?

[chuckles] Toolie girls are trained
to find the time, Mr. Corbett.

Such a head and such beautiful legs.

Um, I've drawn up this little budget

I'd like you to have a look at it.

[hiccups]

Excuse me.

Uh, Salud.

Now, in this budget I've allowed for--

[hiccups]

Excuse me.

Take seven sips of water
without breathing.

No, I don't think I need
that, Miss Atwater--

Yes, to cure your hiccups, seven sips.

- Without breathing.
- Without...

♪♪

You can let your breath out now.

[exhales]

Yes, now...

[hiccups]

Well, it isn't your cure, Miss Atwater.

It's just my nervous stomach.
Some men get ulcers.

I get hiccups.

Well, if it's a chronic
thing, Mr. Corbett

I'll get you a brown paper
bag to breathe out of.

I don't, I don't, I...

[sighs]

One thing you have to say for Tina.

She never gave you hiccups.

[hiccups] No, eat your soup.

♪♪

[imitating plane flying]

- Da-a-a-d.
- M-m-m-m-hmm.

I think you're reading too much.

Eddie, you know I always read
the paper before dinner.

I know, but it's
Mrs. Livingston's night off

and I'm starving.

And that's why I think
you're reading too much.

Oh, okay, well, in that case then

I will go and check the dinner.

[imitating plane flying]

Bang!

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Hey, dad, look what's here.

- Miss Atwater.
- Mr. Corbett.

Oh, uh, may I introduce you
to my, uh, son, Eddie.

Uh, this is Miss Atwater,
my new secretary.

The one you get the hiccups from?

Uh, uh, why don't you, uh, come in?

Oh, well, um, yes

just long enough to put
out your picnic supper.

♪♪

I knew it was your
housekeeper's night off.

Ah, well you, you really shouldn't have.

Sure, she should have.
Look, it's fried chicken.

Really it's no trouble at all,
they're just leftovers I had

around the house.

Boy, we've never had leftover
strawberry pie before.

Won't you stay and have
dinner with us tonight?

Oh, well, I'd really love to
Eddie, but, uh, I have a date.

But I must say, if I'd known there
were two such handsome men

in this house, I might have
made other arrangements.

- Boy, you're sure pretty.
- Thank you.

What sign are you?
In astrolo-jamy?

I'm an Aries.

Dad, she's just our right sign.

She's just what we've been looking for.

Remember what it said in your horoscope?

Yes, how could I forget?

Now, wait, don't tell me.
Let me guess.

I'll bet you're an Aquarian.

Right. Same as my dad.

- Aquarius is my best sign.
- Tsk.

I'm sure we're going to be
good, good friends, Eddie.

Goodnight, Mr. Corbett.

Oh, oh, yes, well...

Oh, don't bother.

Bye, Eddie.

- She's neat-o.
- No, she's not, uh, she's not.

She, uh, has invaded my office.

She's invaded my restaurant.

And now, she has invaded my home.

- Don't you want her?
- No.

But why? She's beautiful, and
she makes strawberry pie.

And she has the right sign--

Yes, yes, Eddie, look, look.
Scoot over.

Mm.

Eddie...

...the stars may say that two
people are right for each other.

And other people may say

that two people are right for each other

but if one of those two
people doesn't think

those two people are
right for each other

then, those two people aren't
right for each other.

- Well, goodnight sport.
- Goodnight, dad.

D-a-a-ad.

What sign was mom?

Mm, Taurus.

Same as Tina!

[Norman] Tom, Tina's here.

Tina.

Ho-ho, am I glad to see you!

- You are?
- Ah, I certainly am.

- Well, that's terrible.
- W-why?

You make me feel worse.

Oh! Well, in that case I
am not glad to see you.

I don't blame you, Mr. Corbett.

Leaving you the way I did
was a finky thing to do.

Yes, it was.

What's more, it was a
dumb finky thing to do.

Very.

I know you're mad at me,
Mr. Corbett and...

- But I really am sorry.
- No, I'm not mad at you.

And I hate my new job.
And I was just thinking--

Sorry to interrupt, but
we are on a deadline.

Um, here are the photostats of
that article, Mr. Corbett.

I proofread it and circled the errors.

- Thank you.
- Oh, well...

He always does that himself.

Oh, well, now that I'm here
he doesn't really need to.

Fourteen errors, that's quite high.

Oh, and here are your phone messages.

I've crossed off the ones
I've already answered.

Uh, well, uh, thank you.

How did you know what he was gonna say

to the ones you answered?

She knows.

- Would you like some coffee?
- Ah, please.

She sugars it in advance.

Oh, I called the laundry too

about the missing buttons on your shirt

and they, they said it
won't happen again.

She even calls your laundry for you?

Yes, I think the less said about
Miss Atwater the better.

Now, Tina, look

were you about to say that
you'd like to come back--

Come back?

Can't a person even
visit a person without

a person assuming that a
person is begging for a job?

- Tina, you're misunderstanding.
- Oh, no, I'm not.

Aquarians always think they know

what the other person is thinking.

It was nice seeing you.

But after seeing Miss Atwater in action

Tina developed a king-sized
inferiority complex.

[sighs] She just doesn't
listen to reason.

How can she? She doesn't
understand the language.

Now, listen, you were engaged
to her for 12 whole hours.

What language does she understand?

We have to speak to her in
the language of far out.

For instance, you have to tell her
that you saw it in a vision.

- In a vision?
- Or you read it.

In the Dead Sea Scroll.

Or you found it in a
Chinese fortune cookie.

- Hm!
- Hm?

- You may have it.
- Mm-hmm.

Mrs. Livingston.

How'd you get to Mrs. Livingston
from Chinese fortune cookie?

- She's Japanese.
- Yeah, I know that.

But I can't be responsible
for my free associations.

Look, Norman, how would you like

to take your former fiancee
to a dinner party?

Terrific, as long as I don't have

to get engaged to her again.

Mnm-mnm, no, you don't,
now all you have to do

is help me set the scene
for a game of I Ching.

- E Ching.
- E Ching?

I Ching.

[Livingston] By the numbers
on the arrow sticks

and the position in which they fall

I must, I have to find
in a key in the book.

Ah.

Is I Ching like astrolo-jamy?

Yes, like astrology,
Eddie, in that it answers

all the questions you
might wanna ask, yes.

But it is older than astrology.

Matters of the state was decided
by the throw of these sticks

before there was a Western civilization.

Ah, well that makes it very
very valid, doesn't it?

When should we start?

Eddie, would you like
to ask first question?

Sure, uh, let's see...

Will I get an A in spelling?

Let's try.

[chuckles]

Hexagram 62, the small get by.

Fantastic.

[Livingston] The small get by. Success.

"When the birds fly high their
singing is out of tune."

The humble are favored.

There's your answer, Eddie.

Where, where does it say I get an A?

[Livingston] It is all
the interpretation.

I Ching was originally
written in ancient Chinese.

Like my language it is full of symbols.

Well, I would say that is
definitely a yesanswer, Eddie.

Mr. Eddie's father.

Okay.

Let's see, my question is...

...will Tina come back to work for me?

♪♪

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Hexagram 61.

Hexagram 61.

"Inward confidence."

- Aah!
- Aah!

"This hexagram symbolizes
a wind blowing over

"a marshy lake return welcome.

"'The sun shines on the weary traveler'

who finds his way home."

"Who finds his way home."

Uh, Norman, I-I really have
a-a terrific headache.

Could we go now, please?

- Yeah, sure, baby.
- W-w-well, what did I say?

What... T...

Mr. Corbett, you didn't have
to go to all that trouble

just to let me know you
don't want me back.

I've already received the message.

Don't think I don't know
what a marshy lake means.

- What does it mean?
- Nothing!

There's only one person on the
world who could've interpreted

that as no, and she just did.

I think she just learned a new language.

It's called incomprehensible.

Ciao.

♪♪

Oh, someone's tryin' to poison me.

[beeps]

♪♪

Tina...

- Hi.
- Hi.

What are you doing here?

Uh, Miss Atwater quit.

Oh, yeah, well, I was wondering
why she wasn't in her desk

when I came by.

Any idea as to why she,
uh, didn't tell me?

Well, uh, she called me late last night.

She called you late.
Would you like to come in?

Mr. Corbett, I know I can't
live up to her standards

but neither can anybody else,
so you might as well have me

as anybody else, huh, please?

[sighs] Oh, well...

Well...

Alright.

[chuckles]

I brought you my pay voucher
to sign, Mr. Corbett.

Oh, well, yes, of course.

Ms. Atwater, I'm a little
curious, why, uh...

Why you decided to leave so suddenly?

Well, toolie girls don't
waste time, Mr. Corbett.

Waste time?

When I took this job, I
turned down several others

that offered considerably more pay.

You did? Why?

Because I heard you were
attractive and, um, eligible.

Oh...

And I thought if I made
myself indispensable to you

and we got along, perhaps...

[chuckles] Well, it didn't happen.

As a matter of fact, you never
even asked me my first name.

It happens to me a lot lately.

I mean, the people I want to reach most

I somehow frighten off.

Some days it doesn't pay
to be Super Woman.

Miss Atwater...

...what's your first name?

Mary Anne. I'm in the book.

Wow...

That's quite a lady.

Beautiful.
Are you gonna call her?

[telephone rings]

Tina, the phone's ringing.

She had to be an Aries, right?

That's a good sign with you.

Tina, the phone, it's ringing.

She sure doesn't look
like a Mary Anne though.

Welcome back, nutsy.

Tom, you're right, this is
gonna be the best article

I've ever done.
This picture's going to be...

I've heard youth is takin'
over, but this is ridiculous.

Dad let me take a taxi down here

and now he's takin' me out for a soda.

What's the occasion?

Well, it's a reward for persistence

and a righteous cause.

Hey, Eddie, you got an A in spelling.

Right! That I Ching sure does
know what it's talking about.

E Ching.

- Dad?
- E Jing.

Hey, you gotta tell me something.

- Hmm?
- How did Tina get back here?

She, uh, she discovered
her horoscope was wrong.

How, dad?

Well, Eddie, you see, uh,
you're supposed to give

your exact year of birth, right?

Well, Tina, being a lady,
couldn't do that.

So she got somebody else's chart.

Whose?

Well, whoever was born

where she was, but two years later.

- I love it.
- Hey, come on, let's go.

Will you explain to me
about ladies, dad?

Explain to you about ladies?
Huh.

Yeah.
Well, uh, yeah, I'll-I'll try.

I'm afraid that might
take a little time.

Uncle Norman, would you care to help me

explain to him about ladies?

Oh, I got a lot of time,
at least a hundred years.

Let's go, champ.

[Eddie] Was mom perfect?

[Tom] Mm, no, no she wasn't.

She, um... Just like you...

Never ever put the top back
on the toothpaste tube.

And, uh, when she made me
eggs, soft boiled eggs

she always got egg shells
in the eggs every time.

And she always burnt the toast.

And she had those, um, wisp
of hair that used to...

...fall on her eyes all the time.

[Eddie] But you loved her?

[Tom] Yes, I did, with all my heart.

- You know why?
- No.

Because she wasn't perfect.

But she was just right for me.

[Eddie] Me too.

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra ra pa ra ♪♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra ♪♪