All language subtitles for The.Courtship.of.Eddies.Father.S01E20.The.Mod.Couple.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]

[Eddie] Dad.

[Tom] Yeah.

[Eddie] If I was a girl...

...would you like me just as much?

[Tom] Oh, I suppose I would.

[Eddie] Would you like me even more?

[Tom] No, 'bout the same. Why?

[Eddie] Oh, I just wanted to make
sure you were happy getting a boy.

Dad, how much money did
the lady across the hall

pay for a kitten?

[Tom] Oh, I don't know, I
think it was around $75.

[Eddie] Gee.

[Tom] Why do you ask?

[Eddie] That's a lot of money

for a little kitten, isn't it?

[Tom] Well, I guess it is.

[Eddie] With that much money

she could've gotten two big dogs.

[Tom] Hmm.

["Best friend" by Nilsson]

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

[scatting]

And that is the story

of how the giraffe came to
have a long, long neck.

Read another, please.

Oh, I think that is enough for tonight.

But I'm not sleepy yet, Mrs. Livingston.

Hmm.

Would you like me to
sing you a komoriuta?

What's a komoriuta?

It is a song that mothers used to sing

their children to sleep.

A lullaby.

Okay.

And... I'm going to sing you

the one my mother used to sing to me.

When you were a little girl?

Mm-hmm. When I was a little
girl like your age.

[singing in foreign language]

♪♪

You know what, Mrs. Livingston?

What, Eddie?

I don't have to look
for a mother anymore.

You don't?

No, because I have you.

♪♪

[Tom] You quit?

Yes, I quit.

Mrs. Livingston.

In our country, we have an expression.

To quit.
And that means to go away.

But not to come back.

I know.

[chuckles] Why would you wanna leave us?

Because I have to.

♪♪

Mrs. Livingston...

Did Eddie say something to you?

Yes.

Ah, I thought so.

Now, whatever it is, I
know it's upset you

but I'm sure it's a misunderstanding.

Now, what did he say?

He said, he did not have to
look for mother anymore

because he has me.

Oh, well, that's a compliment.

He only said it because he loves you.

When I am here, I am like mother to him.

Yes.

It will be unfair to the lady
you will marry some day

and who will be his mother.

Mr. Eddie's father...

I should not be the one who
sings lullabies to him.

- Dad.
- Eddie.

You could not sleep?

Oh, hi, sport.
What are you doing up?

- I heard talking.
- Yeah, well, I'm, I'm sorry.

I guess we were talking,
uh, uh, a little loud.

It's okay. But what were
you talkin' about?

Well, Eddie... Mrs. Livingston, uh...

...has decided that it's
time for her to leave us.

Eddie.

You see, I have a sister who
lives far away in East.

And I haven't seen her for long time

so I would like to visit her.

But you'll be back, won't you?

Oh, yes. I'll come to visit you.

But when are you gonna leave,
so you can come and visit?

I think I better leave tonight.

Tonight?

♪♪

Yes, do you think you could manage?

Well, we'll try and manage.

But tonight?

That means tomorrow
morning when I wake up

you won't be here.

No.

But your father will be here.

♪ La la ♪

Okay?

♪ La la ♪

♪ La la ♪

Goodbye, Mrs. Livingston.

You're sure?

I'm sure.

Bye.

Goodbye.

[scatting]

♪♪

Dad.

Yes, Eddie.

Nothin'.

[Eddie] Hey, dad.

It's mornin'.

Dad.

Eddie. What are you doing?

I just wanted to see if
anyone was in there.

Yes. I'm in here.

And so is your finger.

- Dad.
- Huh?

Aren't you ever gonna
wake up and be somebody?

You're right. It's morning.

Huh.
Mrs. Livingston here yet?

No, she left yesterday, remember?

Hmm? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you sure we're gonna
get along without her?

Oh, sure, sure.

Eddie, we'll get along, we'll get along.

Sure, sure.

Then how come you have to say
it so many times like that?

Because I'm...

I'm very repetitious first
thing in the morning.

Morning, morning, morning.

Hm.

Take a memo.

Busy editors make messy rooms.

I hope you straighten it up.

No, that's alright. We'll just
do it later, Eddie, later.

We better do it now.

Then you can help me get dressed.

Help you get dressed?

Yeah.

Eddie, you've been dressing
yourself for a long time.

It's not the dressing,
dad, it's the deciding.

Mm. The deciding?

What'll I wear, dad?

Oh, uh, well, Eddie, I don't care.

Just why don't you wear
whatever you'd wear

if, uh, Mrs. Livingston were here.

But I don't know what that is.

She always used to put the
stuff out the night before.

So, what'll I wear, dad?

[gasps] Well, Eddie, it's Saturday.

So, why don't you just put
on jeans and a T-shirt?

Okay.

Okay.

♪♪

What're you waiting for?

- What T-shirt?
- Mm? Anyone. I don't care.

The orange one or the blue one?

- Orange one.
- Okay.

[yawns]

What shoes?

- Hmm? Sneakers.
- Okay.

What sneakers, the blue ones or
the one with the thick soles?

The blue ones.

With an orange T-shirt?

The ones with the thick sole.

Alright.

Okay, what socks?

Eddie...

You're gonna have to learn

to start making some of
these decisions yourself.

Okay.

I won't wear any socks.

Is it okay if I don't
comb my hair today, dad?

No, it is not okay.

Then could you help me find my comb?

Later, Eddie, later, later.

Boy, we're gonna have lots
of things to do later.

Like finding my comb,
straightening up your room.

Then we're going to have
all the house work to do.

House work? What house work?

Well, Saturday is the day
we have to vacuum...

...iron shirts, draw out
the old newspapers

and dust the furniture.

Well, how do you know all that?

From watching Mrs. Livingston.

Oh, well, I have a lot
of work to do, alright?

But I'll tell you one thing,
it's not gonna be house work.

Then who's gonna do it?

Eddie, I don't know, I guess
we'll have to put an ad

in the paper, and find
another house keeper.

But who's gonna do it
before you find her?

Don't worry about it.
Alright, Eddie?

Okay, but we're gonna have a
pretty crummy apartment.

Eddie, you're beginning to
sound like a little old lady.

Now, will you please cut it out?

Okay. What's for breakfast?

Egg. Right here.

Four of 'em.
Count four.

One, two, three, four.
What else?

What else? What else do
you want beside eggs?

Do you know how to make waffles?

Well, would you mind if we
just ate all the eggs, first?

Okay.

Then can we have waffles?

Eddie, if you still want waffles

after you have the eggs, yes.

With teriyaki sauce on 'em?

On the eggs?

No, the waffles.

Eddie, will you just stop
talking about the waffles

until you've finished your eggs?

I'm sorry, dad.

I didn't know waffles make you mad.

Mm-hmm.

What kind of eggs are we having?

What kind of eggs would you like?

Does toast make you mad?

No, Eddie, toast does not make me mad.

Then why don't we have shirred
eggs on toast, Japanese style?

Because I don't know how
to make shirred eggs

on toast, Japanese style.

What kind of eggs do
you know how to make?

Scrambled.

Then why don't we have scrambled
eggs and peanut butter?

Uh, fine. Do you know
where the frying pan is?

The big one or the little one?

I don't care, just long
as it's the frying pan.

Okay.

Hey, dad, look, here's the waffle iron!

- Eddie.
- Can't find the frying pan.

You can scramble the eggs
in the waffle iron.

Eddie, we will find the frying pan.

Now will you just keep quiet?

The frying pan.

Can I say something, dad?

Go on.

We don't need the frying pan.

Why?

- 'Cause you smashed the eggs.
- Oh.

You did it when you put the
waffle iron down on 'em.

Yes, yes.

You really smashed 'em good, dad.

Yes, I can see that, Eddie.

Now can we have waffles?

No, Eddie, we cannot have waffles.

Then what're we having?

Right now, Eddie, we are
having a hard time.

[sighs]

That's what we're having.
Cereals!

Hot or cold?

Eddie, these questions of
yours are driving me crazy.

Now, we're having hot cereal.

Nice, hot cereal.

- Maybe we should have waffles!
- Why waffles?

Because waffles don't make you as mad

as nice, hot cereal does.

Eddie! Nice, hot cereal
does not make me mad!

Then what are you mad at, dad?

[sighs]

♪♪

This is a far, far better thing I do now

than I've ever done before.

This is a far, far
better piece I writ now

than I've ever wrotten before.

Norman Tinker, you're brilliant,
absolutely brilliant.

Norman, if you can spell

this would probably be one
of the best articles

you've ever wrotten for me.

But don't you think that
I should tell you that?

I'm not talking about that
one, I'm talking about

this ad I'm writing for you.

For me?

What ad is that?

Titled, "Help! Wanted. Housekeeper."

Norman, don't you ever read
the Sunday classifieds?

Which happen to be under your feet.

- I've already taken out an ad.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes. I've seen it.

"Wanted housekeeper.
Weekdays. 9:00 to 5:00.

Care for bachelor and young son."

You really do write a
dull ad, you know it?

Well, I didn't know it had
to be entertaining, Norman.

According to the latest statistics

there's approximately one
and a quarter housekeeper

for every seven and three quarter job.

In other words, you've
gotta sell yourself.

- Huh?
- Like this.

"Easy to please bachelor,
with great disposition

and an adorable, easy to manage son."

- Hey, what's Eddie doing today?
- He's with the neighbors.

Norman, you realize they charge
for these ads, by the word?

It's with every penny,
scrooge. Believe me.

[sighs] "Desperately needs you?"

Emotional appeal.
You gotta have heart.

- It gets to them, every time.
- Oh, Norman!

"And has groovy friend

who eats anything you
put in front of him."

You don't really need that last part.

I think I know what I'll do.
I will stick with the dull one.

Hey, well, I've got a great idea.

- I have a better idea.
- What's your idea?

Stick to your job.

This is a far, far better thing I do now

than I have ever done before.

Silently, Norman, silently.

♪♪

♪♪

Eddie?

Eddie!

Hi, dad. Did you finish
your work at the office?

Yes. I thought you were
at the Gunbarkers.

No, I came home to clean
up the apartment.

How do you shut this thing off?

Hey, sport, look...

I don't expect you to do all
the house work around here.

I just thought it doesn't look nice

just in case a housekeeper
answered our ad.

They wouldn't wanna come
and take care of us

if they saw how messy we were.

Yeah, well, the place
isn't too great, is it?

- Uncle Norman!
- Hi, Eddie.

Hey, you've been eating a lot.

Norman, I just left you at the
office. What are you doing here?

I was in the neighborhood,
thought I'd drop in

peek around.

I'll say this for the two
of you, you don't know

the first thing about being bachelors.

Yes, well, as you're gonna see

we enjoy living in, casual disarray.

Yes, but it doesn't become you.
It's not your lifestyle.

- Oh?
- I'm here to give a present.

Oh!

What's the present, Uncle Norman?

Right up here in the
old bean bag, Eddie.

I'm gonna give you both
bachelor lessons.

- Neat-o!
- Norman.

Oh, um...

Tom, as nature has designed us,
the female of the species

does have a function.

Uh-huh.

In the absence of that function

the male animal, in order
not to crack up...

Yeah.

- ...has to learn to survive.
- Huh?

We'll start in the kitchen. It's
the nerve center of every home.

- Wakata.
- Anything you say.

Using all of these
dishes you've violated

the cardinal principle
of bachelor living.

- Which is?
- The avoidance of work.

Oh, no, no, no, we've, uh, managed

to do pretty well by
avoiding to do the dishes.

Now, sooner or later,
you have to do them.

You haven't avoided it,
you've merely delayed it.

Mm-hmm.

That's 'cause I and dad
couldn't figure out

how to use the dishwasher.

Well, Eddie, according
to the Norman Tinker

basic bachelor principle, you
don't need a dishwasher.

How do you manage that, Norman?

You eat over the sink a lot.
Watch.

Over here I have a head
of lettuce. Right?

[Tom and Eddie] Right.

Here, I have some dressing. Right?

- Yeah.
- Right.

Now, watch closely.

We take this knife, we cut the lettuce

and we hold it very carefully
over the sink. Right?

And we take the dressing, we
pour it over the lettuce.

Over the sink. Right?

There you have it.
Instant salad.

Which I eat only over the sink.

Delicious.

Do we have to eat
everything over the sink?

Right, Eddie.

'Cause you have to. Now, watch.

Just turn on the faucet.
Voila!Instant clean.

- Alright, Norman.
- Uh-huh.

What about soup?

- Bachelors don't eat soup.
- Oh.

Only things you can eat over the sink.

Then how am I going to drink my milk?

I thought you were gonna ask
that. Right out of the bottle.

The avoidance to work, nothing
to clean up. Remember, Eddie?

Now...

See this floor.

It'd be hard to miss.

You have to stop walking on it.

- Why?
- That's how it gets dirty.

How are we supposed to
notwalk on the floor?

Well, you can't not walk on it entirely

but we can agree on a mutual path.

For instance, if you wanna go
from the sink to the living room

you take one step north, make
a sharp right angle turn

and then take a tight
path to the living room.

And in the living room, we
make a left angle turn.

Uncle Norman is only kidding, isn't he?

Eddie, with your Uncle
Norman you never know.

Why did you do that?

I'm locking off the bedrooms.

Why?

To turn this into an easy to care for

utility apartment.

Kitchen, living room.
That's all you need.

But where are we gonna sleep?

Well, you're gonna sleep
here on the couch, Eddie.

Tomorrow we buy a rollaway
bed for your father.

We keep that in the closet.

Norman, there's just
one thing you forgot.

What'd I forget?

The bathrooms are in there!

Boy, your private key,
for one bathroom only.

Is it okay if we use the terrace?

No, Eddie, the terrace is
strictly for looking... at.

You're liable to attract
in too much dirt.

[doorbell ringing]

There's the cardinal sin.
No company.

'Cause you have a company, you
have to clean up after them.

Whoever it is tell them to go away.

With any luck, it's someone
answering the ad.

I hope it's someone who speaks Japanese.

[oriental music]

Mrs. Livingston!

Mrs. Livingston, you've come to visit.

No.

I came to answer your advertisement.

Boy, I and dad are sure glad
you're back, Mrs. Livingston.

I'm going to call up
Billy Gerber right now

and tell him you're back.

Will you, uh...

...please come in?

- Konichiwa.
- Konichiwa.

Well, there's nothing
like a nice, dull ad

to get a really terrific response.

"Easy to please bachelor
with great disposition

and adorable, easily managed son."

"Desperately need you."

I've a friend who works
on the linotype machine

at the newspaper.
He got a late edition for me.

Ciao.

Uh, Norman.

Well, many thanks.

Well, uh...

As far as starting your
new job is concerned

how is tomorrow, Monday?

Just this once I will make an exception

and work on Sunday.

Well, I... thank you for making
an exception and starting today.

You're welcome.

And the lullabies...

...will there be any exceptions there?

♪♪

It is possible, from time to time.

Uh, Eddie, I may be flying
to New York on business.

How'd you like to go with me?

Do we have to fly?

Well, I thought you liked to fly.

It's okay, I guess.

But I'd bet it'd be more
fun going by stage coach.

[Eddie] I got a friend in school,
he used to get all mixed up.

Well, why is he mixed up, Eddie?

[Eddie] Well, you know
how when you're a kid

and they throw you up in
the air and catch you

and throw you up in the
air and catch you again?

[Tom] Sure.

[Eddie] I think his family
had a very low ceiling.

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ Pa ra ra pa ra ♪

♪ He's a warm hearted person
who'll love me till the end ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend ♪

♪ He's a one boy cuddly toy ♪

♪ My up my down
my pride and joy ♪

♪ People let me tell you
'bout him he's so much fun ♪

♪ Whether
we're talkin' man to man ♪

♪ Or whether
we're talking son to son ♪

♪ 'Cause he's my best friend ♪

♪ La la pa ra ra pa ra ♪♪