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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:02,150 Good morning. 2 00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:05,920 Whoo! Swiss Family 3 00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:05,920 Ron-binson! 4 00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:05,920 That hat is dope. 5 00:00:06,370 --> 00:00:07,390 Thanks, Tom. 6 00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:09,460 You mind if 7 00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:09,460 I rock that bad Larry 8 00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:09,460 on my dome? 9 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,800 Wear it on my head? 10 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,800 Try it on the ladies? 11 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:15,900 Be my guest. 12 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,440 Hi, I'm Tom. 13 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,440 I have a raccoon 14 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:19,440 on my head. 15 00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:24,150 Excuse me? 16 00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:24,150 My friend over here was 17 00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:24,150 digging through your trash 18 00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,590 and I think we may 19 00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,590 have a lot in common. 20 00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,590 I'm Tom. 21 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,150 Would you like to 22 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,150 see a movie sometime? 23 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,380 Are you a raccoon? 24 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,120 Because you've 25 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,120 been running around 26 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,120 my hat all day... 27 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,660 Head all day. 28 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,360 Girl, you're more 29 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,360 precious than Precious. 30 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,130 Uh-uh. 31 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,000 "Nice hat. Wanna bone?" 32 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,000 That's you, talking to me. 33 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:49,740 No. How about, 34 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:49,740 "Yes, I am a hunter, 35 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:49,740 and it's you season." 36 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:53,510 Whoa, that's great. 37 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:53,510 I gotta get back out there. 38 00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:57,520 You know what they say, 39 00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:57,520 animal on the head, 40 00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:57,520 manimal in the bed. 41 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,680 Damn, girl! 42 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,680 Your hotness killed 43 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,680 my raccoon! 44 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,020 I have a raccoon hat. 45 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,020 I'm an interesting person. 46 00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:03,450 Hello! 47 00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:06,780 Any luck? 48 00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:07,850 Nope. 49 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,830 Didn't work out as well 50 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,830 as I thought it would. 51 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,830 Well, better luck next time. 52 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,700 I tried. 53 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,700 It just didn't 54 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,700 seem like... 55 00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:15,290 Wow. I love that hat. 56 00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:16,860 Thank you, ma'am. 57 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,590 Hey, Ron. 58 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,590 I have a surprise for you. 59 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,430 Meet me at 60 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,430 Harvey James Park 61 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,430 at 11:30. 62 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,370 Why? 63 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,370 It's a surprise! 64 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,530 What's the surprise? 65 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,090 If I told you, 66 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,090 it would ruin the surprise. 67 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:50,430 What's the surprise 68 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:50,430 it would ruin? 69 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:51,560 I cannot tell you that. 70 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,370 Leslie, my first wife, Tammy, 71 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,370 tried throwing me 72 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,370 a surprise birthday party. 73 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,440 When I saw my friends 74 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,440 hiding through the window, 75 00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,450 I drove to a gas station, 76 00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,450 called the cops 77 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,280 and told them people 78 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,280 had broken into my home. 79 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,810 I'm not big on surprises. 80 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,380 Okay, but you're 81 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,380 gonna like this one. 82 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,120 What is it? 83 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,120 I'm not telling you. 84 00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,560 And I'm not gonna 85 00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,560 tell anybody! 86 00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:12,190 Okay. I'll tell you. 87 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:15,120 We're putting together 88 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:15,120 the Parks Department 89 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:15,120 Summer Catalog. 90 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,900 And the big surprise 91 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,900 is I am going to reunite 92 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:22,170 all the living former 93 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:22,170 Parks Directors at a picnic, 94 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,770 record the whole thing, 95 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,570 and then write about it in 96 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,570 the "Welcome Letter." 97 00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,570 It's the biggest 98 00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,570 catalog of the year. 99 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,310 Think of the 100 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,310 September issue of Vogue. 101 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:32,970 But it's more 102 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:32,970 important to Pawnee. 103 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:34,710 Mainly because we 104 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:34,710 don't get Vogue here. 105 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,680 I'm gonna move 106 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,680 this "Yearning" ad 107 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,680 to the centerfold. 108 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:41,850 Centerfold, 109 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:41,850 always the best part. 110 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:41,850 Am I right, Justin? 111 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:45,080 Damn, they broke up 112 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:45,080 six weeks ago. 113 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:45,080 Yeah. 114 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,060 Jerry, I need to see 115 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,060 your softball pictures. 116 00:02:47,130 --> 00:02:48,260 Here you go, Chief. 117 00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:50,320 Wow, good job. Nice work. 118 00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:50,320 Whoa! 119 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,990 Wait a minute. 120 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,990 Isn't that 121 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,990 that creepy guy? 122 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,590 Morgan? The pedophile? 123 00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,570 Yeah, it is. 124 00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,570 Oh, my God. 125 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:58,630 Oh, Jerry! 126 00:02:58,710 --> 00:02:59,700 Come on! 127 00:02:58,710 --> 00:02:59,700 I didn't know that! 128 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,940 He seemed okay. 129 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:03,510 We had dinner together. 130 00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:04,710 Guys, I don't know 131 00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:04,710 if I made it clear, 132 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,610 but I don't want 133 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,610 any sex offenders 134 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,610 in our Parks catalog. 135 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,580 Okay, I will 136 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,580 Photoshop his face. 137 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,710 Can you Photoshop 138 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,710 your life with better 139 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,710 decisions, Jerry? 140 00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:13,350 Okay, April. Enough. 141 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:14,950 Cover photo. 142 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:14,950 Tom, you're up. 143 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,080 This catalog is basically, 144 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,080 like, an ad for 145 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,080 the Parks Department, 146 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,150 and I love ads. 147 00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:22,790 I love magazine ads 148 00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:22,790 for flavored vodkas, 149 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,800 billboards for 150 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,800 designer jeans. 151 00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:26,960 I TiVo through shows 152 00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:26,960 to get to the ads. 153 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,100 I love ads. 154 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,810 What are we trying to 155 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,810 do with this catalog? 156 00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:34,430 We're trying to sell Pawnee 157 00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:34,430 on our summer classes. 158 00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:38,870 How do we do that? 159 00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:38,870 With one perfect, 160 00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:38,870 captivating image. 161 00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,140 April? 162 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,980 Modern life. 163 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,980 Where are we running? 164 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:46,320 Sometimes, what we want 165 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:46,320 is not always where we are. 166 00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:48,210 Next slide. 167 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:49,920 Are we alone? 168 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:52,480 Is the real winter 169 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:52,480 inside our hearts? 170 00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:55,030 We are all struggling 171 00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:55,030 for definition 172 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,830 in a world that 173 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,830 resists our inquiries. 174 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,660 Okay, this isn't 175 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,660 gonna work for 176 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,660 a number of reasons. 177 00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:00,430 One, this is 178 00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:00,430 a summer catalog. 179 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,130 Two, that was 180 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,130 complete gibberish. 181 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,540 And three, that child 182 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,540 looks like it's abandoned. 183 00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:07,300 So, basically, boo. 184 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,800 Next slide. 185 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,710 Oh, God. Weird. 186 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,710 How did that... 187 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,940 That's a personal photo. 188 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,940 That's... Shouldn't be... 189 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,940 This must've... 190 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,550 You know, I gotta say, 191 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,450 I think that could 192 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,450 actually work 193 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,450 as our cover photo. 194 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,690 I'm cool with it, 195 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,690 if you guys are. 196 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,690 It's a high-res photo. 197 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,230 I don't know if I have 198 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,230 time for this, guys, 199 00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:27,960 so, let's just pick 200 00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:27,960 a good photo, okay? 201 00:04:28,030 --> 00:04:30,690 What do you want, Leslie? 202 00:04:28,030 --> 00:04:30,690 A picture of parents 203 00:04:28,030 --> 00:04:30,690 pushing a kid on a swing? 204 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,390 Yeah. Exactly. 205 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,390 Get me that. 206 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,760 Okay. I gotta go. 207 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,940 What is he thinking? 208 00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,380 "Why is my cup so tiny?" 209 00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:47,520 Hey. What are you 210 00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:47,520 doing here? 211 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:50,680 Happy six-month anniversary. 212 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:50,680 I got you a gift. 213 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,310 It's a chicken 214 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,310 salad sandwich. 215 00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:54,250 And I don't want 216 00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:54,250 you to feel bad 217 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,550 about not getting me anything, 218 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,550 because I would 219 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,550 never expect... 220 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,090 Swiss Army Watch, mofo. 221 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:01,890 Well done. 222 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:01,890 Perkins. Wow! 223 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,020 You like it? 224 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,000 Thank you so much. 225 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,000 That's so nice. 226 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,370 Are you 227 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,370 allowed to kiss me 228 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,370 in a hospital room? 229 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,130 Oh, don't worry about it. 230 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,130 He's dead. 231 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,270 Oh, my God. 232 00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,170 Oh, no, I'm just kidding, 233 00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,170 he's sleeping. 234 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,710 Oh, okay. 235 00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:18,270 Yeah, our relationship 236 00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:18,270 is going well. Really well. 237 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,750 That guy really 238 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,750 seemed dead. 239 00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:26,220 Nice! 240 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,550 Here, catch this. 241 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,130 You got me in the face! Oh! 242 00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:34,420 That one hurt. 243 00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:34,420 You've a good arm. 244 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,860 I know. 245 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,860 I used to play softball 246 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,860 in high school. 247 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,030 Shut up! I played 248 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,030 baseball in high school. 249 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,690 Shut up! 250 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,690 Yeah, that's like, 251 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,690 the boy version of softball. 252 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:43,640 Guys, don't play 253 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:43,640 with the food, okay? 254 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:43,640 We need this for the picnic. 255 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,260 Do we have everything? 256 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,260 Yes, ma'am. 257 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:47,430 Three picnic baskets, 258 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:47,430 assorted cheeses, 259 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:47,430 grapes, wine. 260 00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:48,600 Smoked salmon? 261 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,640 April threw 262 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,640 the smoked salmon 263 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,640 on the roof. 264 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,310 I'm sorry. 265 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:57,380 Where's Leslie? 266 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:57,380 She just texted 267 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:57,380 me from your phone 268 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:58,920 and said she left 269 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:58,920 her phone at home 270 00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:00,580 and that I should 271 00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:00,580 come here immediately. 272 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,020 And why did I believe that? 273 00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:05,690 Maybe in your heart 274 00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:05,690 you knew it was from me, 275 00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:05,690 but you came anyway. 276 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,120 Nope. 277 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,130 Tom, would you please 278 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,130 stop texting me 279 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,670 that you're having 280 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,670 a city planning emergency? 281 00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:12,630 There's no such thing 282 00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:12,630 as a city planning emergency. 283 00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:13,730 Hi, there. 284 00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:13,730 Hi. 285 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,860 Look at you two. 286 00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:18,930 Ann Perkins, 287 00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:18,930 Mark Brendanawicz. 288 00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:18,930 "Anndanawicz." 289 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:22,280 Or "Merkins." 290 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:22,280 No, "Anndanawicz." 291 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,010 You two should be models. 292 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,540 Maybe on the cover of 293 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,540 the Parks Department 294 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,540 Summer Catalog? 295 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:30,480 That's not the reason 296 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:30,480 you called me in here, right? 297 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:32,780 'Cause I just finished 298 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:32,780 a 12-hour shift. 299 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:32,780 If that's the reason... 300 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,380 Come on, Ann. 301 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,380 It'd be a huge 302 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,380 favor for Leslie. 303 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,920 You know how important 304 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,920 this is to her. 305 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:37,860 Well, I am in. 306 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:37,860 Dude! 307 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:38,980 I am. 308 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:42,290 We don't have any pictures 309 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:42,290 of just the two of us. 310 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,090 Plus, I've always said 311 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,090 we should go on 312 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,090 more dates with Tom. 313 00:06:46,170 --> 00:06:47,290 Yeah, you have. 314 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:49,930 And thank God 315 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:49,930 an opportunity 316 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:49,930 presented itself. 317 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,030 See? Win-win. 318 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,540 Now, Ann, 319 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,540 you're gonna 320 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,540 change, right? 321 00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:53,870 I guess. 322 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:55,040 Would it kill you 323 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:55,040 to maybe put on 324 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:55,040 some lipstick? 325 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,170 Do you even own lipstick? 326 00:06:57,410 --> 00:07:00,580 This is probably 327 00:06:57,410 --> 00:07:00,580 the first time in history 328 00:06:57,410 --> 00:07:00,580 these four great men 329 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,910 have been in 330 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,910 the same place 331 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,910 at the same time. 332 00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,320 It kind of makes you... 333 00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:06,950 What is this? 334 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,050 Sweater swap! 335 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,050 She noticed! 336 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,390 You were right. 337 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,390 Oh, my God. 338 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,390 Somebody's here. 339 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:11,720 Okay. Guys, 340 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:11,720 just act normal. 341 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:13,280 Please? Just be like 342 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:13,280 normal people. 343 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,800 Hello! Hi! David Moser! 344 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,800 I'm Leslie Knope. 345 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,560 It is such an honor 346 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,560 to meet you. 347 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:19,690 Right. 348 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,260 How long is this 349 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,260 gonna take? 350 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,860 Oh, not very long. 351 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,860 I realize, of course, 352 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,860 you're a very busy man. 353 00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:26,170 I love parks. 354 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,210 I don't know if 355 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,210 that's something 356 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,210 I've communicated before. 357 00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:29,700 So, having a picnic 358 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:32,940 with all the former living 359 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:32,940 Parks Department Directors... 360 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,610 Guess who just checked 361 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,610 something off 362 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,610 her bucket list? 363 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,480 Clarence Carrington, 364 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,480 David Moser, 365 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,620 Michael Tansley, 366 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,620 Ron Swanson, 367 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:44,090 gathered together 368 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:44,090 on a beautiful day in 369 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:44,090 this beautiful park. 370 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,080 I think we should 371 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,080 just take a moment 372 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,650 and appreciate 373 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,650 how lucky we are. 374 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:50,330 I thought you 375 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:50,330 were dead, Clarence. 376 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,030 No. I'm gonna outlive you, 377 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,030 then I'm gonna 378 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,030 nail your wife. 379 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,540 Screw you, 380 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,540 you old coot. 381 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,470 Classic David. 382 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,470 You're worse than Ron. 383 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,170 Shut your damn mouth, 384 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,170 Tansley. 385 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,040 Okay! Great! Let's go! 386 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,170 When I say "parks," 387 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,170 you say "department!" Parks! 388 00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,240 Parks! 389 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:07,300 Apartment! 390 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,780 Oh, boy. 391 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,780 This is taking a lot longer 392 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,780 than I thought it would. 393 00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:14,410 Can you guys run up ahead 394 00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:14,410 and set up the picnic? 395 00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:15,680 Sure. 396 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:18,780 Oh. Where are they 397 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:18,780 going with the food? 398 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:20,760 I'm starving. 399 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:20,760 I only had 400 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:20,760 one breakfast. 401 00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:22,020 Okay, relax. 402 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,070 Look, what was 403 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,070 going on back there? 404 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,070 Why all the sniping? 405 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,190 Not exactly sure. 406 00:08:26,270 --> 00:08:27,530 The only one I know 407 00:08:26,270 --> 00:08:27,530 is Michael, 408 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,630 and we're not exactly 409 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,630 best friends. 410 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,630 Hmm. 411 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,070 I'm hungry. 412 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:32,930 Okay, well, 413 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:32,930 don't be such a baby. 414 00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:35,340 I cooked you some bacon 415 00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:35,340 for a trail snack. 416 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:37,210 I ate it already. 417 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:37,210 What? 418 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,710 I could smell it 419 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,710 in your purse before 420 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,710 I even parked my car. 421 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,350 And now it's gone. 422 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,350 And I hate everything. 423 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:48,120 Good, good, good. 424 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:48,120 All right. 425 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,420 I think we got 426 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,420 the boring clichéd shot 427 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,420 that Leslie wanted. 428 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,720 That's it? 429 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,720 We're done? 430 00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:54,230 Not even close. 431 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,290 Now the real art begins. 432 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:58,760 Step one, 433 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,600 nail this photo shoot 434 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,600 with an amazing, 435 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,600 iconic image. 436 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,070 Step two, 437 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,070 book some outside gigs. 438 00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:06,440 Step three, 439 00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:06,440 have sex with a model. 440 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:09,410 Step four, 441 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:09,410 step in front of the camera, 442 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:09,410 become a model. 443 00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,140 Go, yes! 444 00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,140 Keep slithering! 445 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,520 Ann, can you give me 446 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,520 something, anything, 447 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,520 in the face? 448 00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:19,880 What do you 449 00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:19,880 want me to do? 450 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,720 Do what Mark's doing. 451 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,720 He's doing great! 452 00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:22,920 Keep slithering! 453 00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,690 I'm not doing anything, so... 454 00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:28,560 Okay, Clarence, um, 455 00:09:26,260 --> 00:09:28,560 why don't you describe 456 00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:30,900 the first Summer 457 00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:30,900 Pawnee Catalog. 458 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:35,760 I remember. 459 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:35,760 That first year we 460 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:35,760 offered four classes. 461 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,600 I actually taught 462 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,600 Homemaking. 463 00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:40,340 Women were not allowed 464 00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:40,340 to teach back then. 465 00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:43,410 Really? I thought 466 00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:43,410 there were female teachers 467 00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:43,410 way before then. 468 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,110 Not in my department. 469 00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:49,070 Well, times have changed. 470 00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:50,520 I'm Deputy Director now, 471 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,710 but I'm hoping someday 472 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,710 to be the first female 473 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,710 director of the department. 474 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:55,790 Oh, I don't think 475 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:55,790 that's a good idea. 476 00:09:55,860 --> 00:10:01,820 Women need a lot of blood 477 00:09:55,860 --> 00:10:01,820 to flow through to 478 00:09:55,860 --> 00:10:01,820 their baby centers, 479 00:10:02,630 --> 00:10:05,400 which leaves less to 480 00:10:02,630 --> 00:10:05,400 the brain, you see. 481 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,200 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Sure. 482 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:11,430 I'd stay away from 483 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:11,430 leadership roles, 484 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:11,430 for your own safety. 485 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,010 No! No! 486 00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,070 Maybe I should write 487 00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,070 a song about a picnic. 488 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,410 Ooh, where'd you come 489 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,410 up with that idea? 490 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,180 The picnic we're having. 491 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:25,740 I already have 492 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:25,740 the perfect title, 493 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:25,740 Life is a Picnic. 494 00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:31,190 That's good. How about 495 00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:31,190 Life is a Picnic with You? 496 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:35,060 Whoa! Then it could 497 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:35,060 be about a girl. 498 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:35,060 Or Peyton Manning! 499 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,300 Hmm. You wanna help me 500 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,300 write the lyrics? 501 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:40,530 Yeah, totally. 502 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,460 We should grab 503 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,460 a drink after this 504 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,460 at Tucker's. 505 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,500 Yeah, I would do that. 506 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,500 That sounds fun. 507 00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:49,310 I just have to get my 508 00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:49,310 stuff from the office. 509 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:52,080 But that's... 510 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:52,080 That'd be cool. 511 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,180 David, what was it exactly 512 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,180 that called you to 513 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,180 the Parks Department? 514 00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,380 Well, I was in 515 00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,380 Public Works 516 00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,380 for eight years. 517 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,820 But the director 518 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,820 was pretty young. 519 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:02,820 Clarence was old and weak. 520 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,550 So, I put in for a transfer, 521 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,550 swooped in and 522 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,550 pushed him out. 523 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,290 There was no other reason 524 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,290 you wanted the job? 525 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,630 No. Just the money 526 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,630 and the pension. 527 00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,960 The actual job's 528 00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,960 a nightmare. 529 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,930 I mean, who gives 530 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,930 a crap about this crap. 531 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,680 Well, David, 532 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,680 I think we've 533 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,680 talked enough. 534 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,040 Mark, that's great. 535 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,040 Bobby, great. 536 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,560 Ann, you look miserable! 537 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,560 Terrible. Terrible! 538 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:37,120 Come on, Ann. 539 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:37,120 What are we doing? 540 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:37,120 Maxim or Good Housekeeping? 541 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,390 I'm not sure which one 542 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,390 is the insult. 543 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,360 Hey, if there's anyone 544 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,360 out there that's doing 545 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,360 a photo shoot 546 00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:43,560 about the dangers 547 00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:43,560 of eating 548 00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:43,560 undercooked chicken, 549 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,190 I can give you 550 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,190 Ann's phone number. 551 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,260 Okay, let's stop 552 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,260 for a second. 553 00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:50,200 Bobby, I love 554 00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:50,200 how you work. 555 00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:50,200 Yay! 556 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,110 You can have as 557 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,110 many juice boxes 558 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,110 as you want. 559 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,470 In fact, grab me one, too. 560 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,470 Make it an apple. 561 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,840 Mark, great job, 562 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,840 you can have 563 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,840 a juice box, too. 564 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,770 Ann, take a walk with me. 565 00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,080 In a million years, 566 00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,080 I never thought you would be 567 00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:03,850 the problem with 568 00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:03,850 this photo shoot. 569 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,290 Didn't you just plan this, 570 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,290 like, two hours ago? 571 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,850 I just don't get it. 572 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,120 How could someone so hot 573 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,120 be so bad at looking hot? 574 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:12,520 I'm sorry I'm not 575 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:12,520 a professional model. 576 00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:15,220 And screaming, 577 00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:15,220 "Make your face better!" 578 00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:15,220 doesn't help. 579 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,560 Well, I'm sorry, 580 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,560 your face just isn't working. 581 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:20,500 And we need to do something 582 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:20,500 to distract from 583 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:20,500 this boring area. 584 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,000 Now, I didn't want 585 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,000 to have to do this, 586 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,000 but we may have to go nude. 587 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,090 Goodbye, Tom! 588 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,230 Fair enough. 589 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,230 I totally understand. 590 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,640 But we should get 591 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,640 one for safety. 592 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,800 Okay, guys. 593 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,800 We're almost there. 594 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,800 It's right up here. 595 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,310 You really shouldn't 596 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,310 be leading us. 597 00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:33,350 If you're menstruating, 598 00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:33,350 you'll attract bears. 599 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,340 Holy God. Okay. 600 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,480 Here we are. 601 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,710 Eat. 602 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,350 Well, it hasn't gone 603 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,350 exactly as I've hoped. 604 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:46,450 But I got them all here 605 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:46,450 and we're gonna have 606 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:46,450 a beautiful picnic. 607 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,120 It's gonna... 608 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,120 It's gonna be good. 609 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,290 Hey. 610 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,260 I just whizzed 611 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,260 on a butterfly! 612 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,730 Well, gentlemen, 613 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,730 as you know, 614 00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,210 I'm working on 615 00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,210 my welcome letter 616 00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,210 for the Summer Catalog. 617 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,180 You should just 618 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,180 copy the Eagleton one. 619 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,870 I used to just 620 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,870 copy the Eagleton one. 621 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,880 Did you? I was hoping 622 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,880 that maybe you 623 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,880 could talk to me 624 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,420 a little bit about 625 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,420 how the department has 626 00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,420 changed since you ran it. 627 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,920 Well, I think you've done 628 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,920 a wonderful job 629 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,920 maintaining the parks. 630 00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,650 Thank you, Michael. 631 00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,650 I appreciate that. 632 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,280 Did you enjoy your 633 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,280 turn at the helm? 634 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,650 Oh, in a way. 635 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,350 Pencil pushing wasn't 636 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,350 really my thing, 637 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,020 but I did love 638 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,020 the parks themselves. 639 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,320 That was the best 640 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,320 part of the job. 641 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,760 Oh, isn't it? 642 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,760 I totally agree. 643 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,730 Well, thank goodness for you. 644 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,230 Yes, thank goodness 645 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,230 for Michael. 646 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,930 Are you still 647 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,930 on parole, by the way? 648 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,030 Oh, ha, ha. 649 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,030 Very funny, Ron. 650 00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:33,400 Yes. Yes, Ron, I am. 651 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,440 What? 652 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,440 He smoked pot. 653 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:38,270 In the office. 654 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:38,270 And in all the parks. 655 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:38,270 Constantly. 656 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,040 In fairness to me, 657 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,040 it was a different time. 658 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,140 It was the early '90s. 659 00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:44,950 But also, it's ridiculous 660 00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:44,950 that marijuana is illegal. 661 00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:47,450 Thomas Jefferson grew hemp. 662 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,960 Alcohol is legal, 663 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,960 but pot isn't? 664 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,720 That makes sense 665 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,720 to you, Ron? 666 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,920 I'm sorry, 667 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,920 I can't hear hippies. 668 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,430 So, if you had to sleep 669 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,430 with one of the old guys, 670 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,430 who would it be? 671 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,530 The super-old one. 672 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,590 Really? 673 00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:05,700 Mmm-hmm. 674 00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:05,700 I'm an eyebrow girl. 675 00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,470 I wanna make out with him 676 00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,470 and chew his eyebrows off. 677 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,440 That is really gross. 678 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,410 Anybody got any water? 679 00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,010 I want water. 680 00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,010 I'm so old, 681 00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,010 I need to drink water. 682 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,880 Oh, stop it, 683 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,880 stop taunting him. 684 00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,580 I don't need 685 00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,580 your help, jailbird. 686 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:24,320 If there's any 687 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:24,320 unclaimed meat or cheese, 688 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:24,320 I would like to claim it. 689 00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:25,590 Yeah. 690 00:14:24,390 --> 00:14:25,590 Like you claimed my job? 691 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:28,600 Yes. Exactly like that, 692 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:28,600 in that I wanted it, 693 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:28,600 and then I took it. 694 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,690 Okay, guys, 695 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,690 you know what 696 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,690 I would love? 697 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,290 I would love if anybody 698 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,290 just said something positive 699 00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:34,030 about, oh, 700 00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:34,030 I don't know, anything. 701 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:38,040 I agree. Let's just relax, 702 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:38,040 smoke another J, 703 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:38,040 and all calm down. 704 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,130 Another? 705 00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:42,230 By the way, it's ridiculous 706 00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:42,230 that pot is illegal. 707 00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:44,970 It grows in the ground! 708 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,140 I've planted marijuana 709 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,140 in community gardens 710 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,140 all over the city, 711 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,840 and it hasn't hurt anyone! 712 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,840 What? 713 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,040 You know, Michael? 714 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,040 You are one 715 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,880 pot-loving 716 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,880 mother 717 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,880 pain in the rectum. 718 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,410 Okay, stop it! Stop it! 719 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,410 You're all being awful, 720 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,410 horrible men! 721 00:14:57,490 --> 00:15:00,790 Uh-oh. Your little 722 00:14:57,490 --> 00:15:00,790 friend come to visit? 723 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:04,460 Clarence, if you mention 724 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:04,460 anything about women, 725 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,400 or menstruation, 726 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,400 or anything, 727 00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:09,960 I'm gonna take your face 728 00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:09,960 and I'm gonna shove 729 00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:09,960 it in those brambles. 730 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,510 Yes! 731 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,510 No! You're next, buddy. 732 00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,300 Andy! 733 00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,300 Let's take this picture. 734 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,710 Come on! 735 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,710 Get out of 736 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,710 your seats, turds. 737 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,010 What? 738 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,010 Line up over there. 739 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,840 Come on. 740 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,840 Just please try 741 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,840 to look human. 742 00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,140 All right, 743 00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,140 and not so evil. 744 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,980 Everybody looking here. 745 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,980 One, two, three. 746 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,480 Thank you so much 747 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,480 for the wonderful memories. 748 00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,750 Everybody take 749 00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,750 their stuff and go. 750 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,650 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 751 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,650 Can we do one 752 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,650 funny-face one? 753 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,150 Do you have that 754 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,150 picture that Andy took? 755 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,890 Maybe I'll run it 756 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,890 without any text. 757 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,920 Yeah. I tried to 758 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,920 Photoshop it to make it 759 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,920 look like they were happy. 760 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,230 It was really hard. 761 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,230 Their mouths are so old. 762 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,540 God! Look at these 763 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,540 horrible men. 764 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,100 You know, I don't even know 765 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,100 if I want them in my catalog. 766 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,900 Would you like these 767 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,900 men in your catalog? 768 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,240 Oh, my God, April. 769 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,240 That's disgusting. 770 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:52,410 What? Look how generous 771 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:52,410 they're being 772 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:52,410 with each other. 773 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,340 And here's the 774 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,340 "Obstruction" series. 775 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,850 What do you think? 776 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,850 Amazing, right? 777 00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,490 I call this one 778 00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,490 "The Future." 779 00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:00,920 It's completely blurry. 780 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,290 Yes, it is, Ann. 781 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,960 What about the ones 782 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,960 we took on the swing? 783 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:06,960 The normal ones? 784 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,390 You mean the 785 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,390 "Unhappy Wife" photos? 786 00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:14,130 Oh, my God. 787 00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:14,130 These are even worse, 788 00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:14,130 somehow. 789 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,760 I look miserable. 790 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,200 You do look 791 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,200 kind of miserable. 792 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:19,800 Now you know 793 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:19,800 what I meant by, 794 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:19,800 "Make your face better." 795 00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:21,640 Was there 796 00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:21,640 something wrong, Ann? 797 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,450 Well, I had just 798 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,450 gotten off a long shift. 799 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,450 He was being really annoying. 800 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:27,210 Mark looks happy. 801 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,910 Just please don't 802 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,910 use these, okay? 803 00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:32,380 Let's grab some dinner. 804 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:33,980 Sure. 805 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,390 Hey, Ron. 806 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,390 You want me to read you 807 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,020 what I have so far 808 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,020 in my welcome letter? 809 00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:41,890 Nothing. Because you 810 00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:41,890 and your jerk predecessors 811 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,360 didn't give me anything 812 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,360 to work with. 813 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,460 Did you print this out? 814 00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:47,590 I heard the printer going. 815 00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:48,730 Yes. 816 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,830 You could've just handed me 817 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,830 a blank piece of paper. 818 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,100 Oh! Wisdom! Finally. 819 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,100 Thank you so much. 820 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,340 You can also keep the photo. 821 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,340 Thanks for the memories. 822 00:16:57,610 --> 00:16:59,770 Good God. 823 00:16:57,610 --> 00:16:59,770 I don't remember this. 824 00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,250 That... 825 00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,250 That's the wrong one. 826 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,580 But the real one's 827 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,580 very bad as well. 828 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:05,950 I want you to know 829 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:05,950 that I'm replacing 830 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:05,950 the "Welcome Letter" 831 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,620 with this ad 832 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,620 for Yearning by 833 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,620 Dennis Feinstein. 834 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,550 So goodbye, 835 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,550 distilled wisdom of 836 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,550 50 years of experience. 837 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,490 Hello, disgusting 838 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,490 fragrance flap. 839 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:15,520 Let me buy you dinner. 840 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,760 No. I insist you 841 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,760 buy me dinner. 842 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,900 Get a drink. 843 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,900 Whatever. It's cool. 844 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,900 Okay. 845 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,300 ID. 846 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,300 I'm 24. 847 00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:23,360 No, you're not. 848 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:25,830 Okay, I'm 25. 849 00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:27,170 No old jokes, please. 850 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,370 ID. 851 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,080 It says right here 852 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,080 you're 20. 853 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,450 You're not even 854 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,450 gonna show me a fake? 855 00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:44,920 Sometimes the confidence 856 00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:44,920 confuses people. 857 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,220 You're good, bro. 858 00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:48,850 You know what? 859 00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:48,850 I think I'll just... 860 00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:48,850 I'm gonna... 861 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,530 Hey, I know another bar 862 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,530 that always lets me in, 863 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,730 if you just wanna go there. 864 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,970 Uh... Yeah, actually, 865 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,970 I should get going home. 866 00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,770 I have a lot of 867 00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,770 stuff to do. 868 00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:03,100 So, I should go home. 869 00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:03,100 Clean and stuff. 870 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:05,310 But... 871 00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:06,770 Yeah, okay, cool. 872 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:09,870 Yeah, I gotta go home, too. 873 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:09,870 So... 874 00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:10,940 All right. 875 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:13,510 See you! 876 00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:16,550 Later. 877 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:19,950 The usual, Marta. 878 00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:21,020 Me, too, Marta. 879 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,090 You got it. 880 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:25,790 Oh, Ron, 881 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:25,790 I really made love to 882 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:25,790 the pooch on this one. 883 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:27,660 Screwed the pooch? 884 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,640 I don't like that term. 885 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,640 It's so vulgar. 886 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,400 Ron! 887 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,180 That sucked, today. 888 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,180 I'm sorry. There's no 889 00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,180 other way to say it. 890 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,940 They're a bunch of 891 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,940 career bureaucrats. 892 00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:40,740 What did you think they 893 00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:40,740 were gonna say to you? 894 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,110 "Leslie, you are the next link 895 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,110 in a wonderful chain 896 00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,950 "that stretches back 897 00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,950 to when our town was founded, 898 00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:46,580 "and we believe in you 899 00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:46,580 and we support you 900 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,150 "and we'll be 901 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,150 following your career. 902 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,680 "You are the chosen one." 903 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,350 Or something. 904 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,650 Well, okay, so, 905 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,650 that was the problem. 906 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:56,930 No. You know what 907 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:56,930 the worst part is 908 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:56,930 is I wanna be Parks Director. 909 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,870 But every single person 910 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,870 who was Parks Director 911 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,870 hated their job 912 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,660 and hated everyone 913 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,660 they worked with. 914 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,230 Are we gonna hate 915 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,230 each other someday? 916 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,480 I don't think so. 917 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,480 I think we're 918 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,480 gonna be fine. 919 00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:13,970 Anyway, the point's moot, 920 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:16,680 because you're 921 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:16,680 Park Director now 922 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:16,680 and you're not going anywhere 923 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:18,520 and I'm not making 924 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:18,520 you go anywhere. 925 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,890 I'm not gonna stab you 926 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,890 in the back or anything, 927 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,890 so... 928 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,930 Maybe I should go somewhere. 929 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,930 Maybe I should move, 930 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,930 to Eagleton. 931 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,480 Oh, God, 932 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,480 the thought of that. 933 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,050 Leslie, you don't 934 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,050 have to move to Eagleton. 935 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,400 When I become 936 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,400 City Manager, 937 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,400 my job is yours. 938 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,200 Of course, 939 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,200 my first act as 940 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,200 City Manager 941 00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:39,040 will be to propose 942 00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:39,040 eliminating the 943 00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:39,040 Parks Department. 944 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,930 Although I expect 945 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,930 a spirited debate 946 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,930 with Leslie. 947 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,310 Who knows what 948 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,310 the future holds for me? 949 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:47,750 Maybe I'll leapfrog 950 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:47,750 Ron's job and 951 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:47,750 become City Manager. 952 00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:50,350 Of course, 953 00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:50,350 my first act as 954 00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:50,350 City Manager 955 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:52,650 would be to double 956 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:52,650 the size of 957 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:52,650 the Parks Department. 958 00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:56,080 Although, I do expect 959 00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:56,080 a fight from Ron. 960 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,550 But I'll win. 961 00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:00,050 Mmm! 962 00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:01,790 Thank you, darling. 963 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:04,760 Why would anybody 964 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:04,760 ever eat anything 965 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:04,760 besides breakfast food? 966 00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,860 People are idiots, Leslie. 967 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:13,830 The wait is over! 968 00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:14,930 Oh, yeah! 969 00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,140 Yeah! 970 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,440 Look what's here. 971 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,400 We got... 972 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,450 "My fellow Pawneeans... 973 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,450 Yes, it's here! 974 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,110 "The Parks Department's 975 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,110 Summer Catalog has arrived 976 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,080 "and for the first time 977 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,080 in 20 years, tennis is back! 978 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,960 "Peruse this wondrous 979 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,960 book at your leisure 980 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,120 "and take advantage 981 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,120 of everything this 982 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,120 great town has to offer. 983 00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:37,150 "Time is fleeting, 984 00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:37,150 my fellow Pawneeans. 985 00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,130 "Make the most of it, 986 00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,130 while you can. 987 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,530 "I recently had the honor 988 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,530 of spending an afternoon 989 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,330 "with every living 990 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,330 former Parks Director, 991 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,470 "and they taught me 992 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,470 a valuable lesson, 993 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,870 "there is nothing more 994 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,870 important than friendship." 995 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,340 It's a little flowery. 996 00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:54,510 Shut up. 997 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,280 I gotta hand it 998 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,280 to Michael. 999 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:03,420 His water-pipe-making skills 1000 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:03,420 were most impressive. 1001 00:21:03,490 --> 00:21:04,690 I once saw him smoke pot 1002 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,220 out of a 20-foot length 1003 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,220 of garden hose 1004 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,220 and a milk jug. 1005 00:21:08,330 --> 00:21:11,230 That guy made 1006 00:21:08,330 --> 00:21:11,230 a water pipe out of 1007 00:21:08,330 --> 00:21:11,230 a stuffed raccoon. 1008 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,630 No way. 1009 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,630 No, I'm not kidding. 1010 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,830 He made a bong out of 1011 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,830 a taxidermied raccoon? 1012 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,670 I caught him 1013 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,670 smoking pot out of it 1014 00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,570 not three feet from 1015 00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,570 where we're standing. 1016 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,270 Oh, nice shot. 1017 00:21:21,340 --> 00:21:23,680 Right in Clarence's 1018 00:21:21,340 --> 00:21:23,680 ancient junk. 1019 00:21:26,380 --> 00:21:27,440 In the neck! 54375

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