All language subtitles for Assisted Living s05e16 Ghost Writer.eng

[music]

Twenty-four.

Bin... No! [mumbles]
One more.

He ain't got it,
he ain't got it,

he ain't got it.

Sixty-nine.

Come on, Anastasia, need
one more number, baby,

one more number.

What is so special
about 69?

You are too much.

[balls spinning]

[thud]

Thirty-five.

You ain't got it,
you ain't got it.

Bing... No. No. I need
one more in a row.

-[Vinny] You ain't got it.
-Come on.

What you got, what you got,
what you got?

Number nine.

Bingo! [chuckles gleefully]

-What?
-[Reginald] Oh, no.

-Not again.
-Bingo, baby.

-Come on, come on, brother.
-Not again.

You've got to get the heat out
your blood

But that is over 10 wins in a
row.

That is astronomically
impossible

-in a game of chance.
-You know what?

It is good doing business
with y'all, suckers!

No, no, no,
I can't believe that.

Calm down, Efe, it's okay.

-It's just a fun game.
-[Efe] No!

No, not when somebody's
cheating all of us.

How do you cheat in Bingo?
Please enlighten me.

If anybody can do it,
Vinny can.

Never heard anybody
cheating at Bingo.

No, look, we play this game
because it is lucky

and it is fun.

He can't be winning
all the time.

No. No, no, no. I'm going to get
to the bottom of all of this.

And how you propose
to do that?

I haven't thought
of it yet.

Vinny isn't low enough
to cheat in Bingo

and steal y'all's mon...

Never mind. Yes, he is.

Yes, Vinny is that low.

Next time you question him, Efe,

I'll pay closer attention
and, uh, give you my judgement.

Yes, yes, yes, you know,
I have an idea

how to get
to the bottom of this.

I don't like
where this is going.

I do. Let's catch him.

-What's the plan.
-Okay, come together.

Come, come, come. So we...

[music]

[music]

? No matter what you do
I love you ?

? No matter where you go,
I'm behind you for sure ?

? Always remember
Blood ain't never water ?

? We'll make it
if we stay together ?

Hey, my sister Anastasia.

How are you?
Are you okay?

I'm fine.
Thank you, Efe.

I'm just dealing
with a little writer's block.

Writing has never been
my strong point.

It's always been performing.

Performing is your passion.

You know, if you follow
your passion,

you will never work
a day in your life.

So why are you outside
your passion?

Well, writing is definitely
not my passion,

but we're suffering through it
for this opportunity.

What opportunity
are you writing for?

I have to perform
an original monologue

for a feature film

that could put my career
in full swing.

And if I pull this off,

I won't be able to keep
the casting directors away.

Ay! That sounds fun.

The performance part, yes.
The writing part, not so much.

I was trying to write all night
and couldn't find any words.

So let me get this straight.

You have to write a monologue,
perform it,

and then you get a job?

Yes, that's the gist of it.

Uh-uh. Your command
is my wish.

It's the other way around.

No, no, I've always wanted
to write a TV show,

but I was always busy.

And now you need
to write a monologue

and I wish to be
a Hollywood writer one day.

Okay. What ideas do you have
for monologues?

I would love to hear this.

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

Supposing you've just finished
being chased

by a serial killer.

A serial killer? I like
where this is going.

Yes, yes, yes, but a cereal
as in breakfast.

So you see, you ate
all these cereal

so he's coming to murder you.

I don't know, Efe.

No, no, no, but you can use
your incredible acting skills

to show that you're terrified.

Because, you know, you have to
give him more cereal

and that's the way
you stop him

because you have to give him
the cereal.

Sorry, that's
a very amateur story, Efe.

And I'm shooting
for the big leagues here.

Hey, I've got stories.

Okay, supposing you just left
your husband

because, you know, you've left
many husbands...

Stop now, Efe.

Those stories
aren't strong enough

for a Hollywood feature film.

They're very novice.

Okay, it's all right.

The person that throws
the stone forgets.

The person that's hit with
the stone remembers forever.

Well, I can't present
those stories

and be kicked
out of Hollywood forever.

But I had more to say.

I have talent, though!

I have talent.

So remember the plan
and stick to it.

And we are guaranteed
to catch him.

Remember, when the cattle
stand together,

the lion lies down hungry.

I'm hungry too.

Have either of you
eaten lunch?

I don't believe
that's what the quote meant.

Maybe it doesn't, but it still
doesn't mean I'm not hungry.

I'll put together some food
after the Bingo game.

Yeah, Anastasia,
focus, focus.

I can't focus
when I'm hungry.

[chuckling] Hi, everybody.

Hi, Vincent.

Hey. I'm here
to take y'all money again.

Let's get the game started.

-Let's go. Let's go.
-Let's get it.

Put your money up,
put your money up, boom.

First number, 17,
Vinny's IQ.

[chuckles awkwardly]

Number 33.

Okay. I like that number.
That's the age I like.

Number one.

Your IQ.

[Efe laughing]

[clears throat]
That's not funny.

Number 43.

Okay. Come on, Anastasia.
Come on. Come on now.

Number 21.

Bingo!

Oh, no. Sorry, sorry.
I need one more.

Number 37.

[Vinny chuckles]
Bingo!

-Again!
-Ah, we caught you!

We caught you!
You're a thief!

You a thief. I know
what you have been doing.

Well, you know, I know what
I been doing too.

I been winning.

I just needed one more number,
Anastasia.

No, no, and you were probably
in the lead, Reginald.

But because of the cheat,
you lost.

You know what? You win some,
you lose some.

But you live to play
another day.

Thank you for your donation.

There was no bingo ball
with the number 37 on it.

So how did you call Bingo
on 37

and actually have it?

-Hm? Hm?
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

What the hell is that
on the wall?

What? Hey, he's getting away.

Come back here my friend! You're
a thief! You're a thief!

I don't know what I'm gonna do
at this point.

The meeting is in one minute.

It'll have to be improv.

I have to get this role.
[telephone ringing]

Good afternoon.
It's Anastasia.

Yes. My monologue
is prepared and ready to go.

You're ready for it now?
Okay, sure.

What about a story
relating to a cereal killer?

No, not a serial killer.
A cereal killer like breakfast.

It's a different twist
on cinema

and allows me to portray
several different emotions.

Oh, I haven't seen something
like this explored yet.

Sure. I'm ready.

Here we go.

Hey, Anastasia. Oh.

I saw you in that La Todds
fast-food restaurant commercial.

You are very good in it.

Every time I watch it,

I crave their gourmet
French fries.

Oh, that old thing.
It was nothing.

So, uh, how was
your monologue?

Well, I was gonna
talk to you about that.

Eh, me? Really?

Yes, the audition went great.

Oh, very good.

So you got over
your writer's block?

What did you write about?

Well, I couldn't come up
with anything

and, at the last minute, spoke
to them about a cereal killer.

Cereal killer?

As in breakfast?

Yes, and they love the idea.

Mm, my amateur idea
for my very untalented self, eh?

Is that the one?

It turns out that it wasn't
an amateur idea at all.

Eh, so that means, um,
I was right

and you were wrong.

Yes, you were right
and I was wrong.

You know, it is the wisdom
of others

that prevents the king
from being called a fool.

Do you know what I mean?

Unfortunately I do.

Very good.

Anyway, I'm very happy

my amateur ideas
could be of some help.

They were, and the studio liked
the idea so much,

they would like
an entire episode about it.

And they asked me to write it.

But writer's block
is still bothering me,

and I need your help.

Eh? I'm sorry,
I didn't hear you.

You want to see my belt?

I need your help.

I can't write
this episode alone.

I'm sorry, Efe.
Do you forgive me?

You forgive others not because
they deserve forgiveness

but because you deserve peace.

Oh, yeah. Come, let's do it.
Come on.

Oh, Efe. Oh, my God!
Thank you. Thank you.

Bunch of suckers, that's...

What's wrong, eh?
Feeling convicted?

Oh, no, not convicted.
I'm feeling, uh, conflicted.

How about that?

Conflicted about what?

I'm conflicted about
all the food I'm gonna buy

with he money I won from y'all.

That's what I'm doing.

I know you a cheat.
You know you a cheat.

How do you live
with yourself?

I live with myself
one dollar at a time.

It is better to be punished
for saying the truth

than to be rewarded
for telling lies.

And they also say money grows
on the tree of persistency.

Ooh, well, you can travel
with lies

and you might reach
a destination,

but you will not be able
to retrace your steps.

I don't know if you heard
this one. Check this one out.

They also said money is not
the key to happiness.

But if you got enough money,
boom,

you can buy a key.

You know, you are a lot wiser
and dumber than you look.

Oh, yeah, you are ugly

and your momma make you look
in the mirror for punishment.

I know you cheated
and I know how you cheated.

And I demand you pay everyone
back the money you owe them.

Man, you as crazy as you look.

I don't cheat and you can't
prove a damn thing.

Look, I know what you did and I
know how to prevent you

from ever winning in the future.

[laughs]
You know what, Efe?

I'm innocent
until proven innocent.

They say all Africans are smart,
but I beg to differ.

That's a dumb one.

Ooh!

[music]

We are good
to get started.

You are five minutes late
to our session, Efe.

Uh-uh, it takes time
for genius to get ready.

You should know this.

You've never written
a full script in your life.

You don't know this.

Oh, but your studio thought
I was good enough

to write an episode.

I knew my love of words
would one day yield fruit.

My performance
also played a role

in the idea, Efe.

Oh, you would not have anything
to perform to

without my genius idea.

Whatever.
[Efe grumbling]

So I would like
to open the show

with a close-up
of the cereal box.

Then we pan slowly till you see
a family eating cereal.

But they run out of milk.

They're panicked!

They have cereal,
but they have no milk!

Uh, what's going on here?

Oh, Reginald,
you are messing up our focus.

Eh? We are trying
to write a masterpiece.

-A masterpiece?
-[Efe] Yes.

About cereal?
I seriously doubt that, Efe.

Actually, Efe helped me
book a role

based on his idea
about a monologue.

It's a long story.
I'll explain it all later.

But he is
actually helping me out a lot.

Oh, well, don't let me
stand in your way.

I just came to get my umbrella
'cause it's gonna storm.

It was a dark and stormy night.

She lay dead
in the living room.

But there were two pieces
of cereal on the kitchen floor!

What is this prank
you two are pulling?

Oh, is there a camera around
to catch my reaction?

Hey, Reginald!
We are trying to focus!

You must respect
the artistry.

Oh, okay, whatever prank
you two are pulling,

I'm on my way out.

I'll see you two
and your cereal later.

[laughing]

Anastasia, don't mind him.

We are going to write
the best episode ever.

Uh, okay, but now, eh, it was
not a dark and stormy night

because the sun,
it had come out.

Hello, sunshine.

So I'm going to wait.
Once he comes in the door and...

[doorbell ringing]
He's coming, he's coming.

[Reginald] Okay.

[Efe] So what he has been doing

is a very elaborate scheme,

which is why he's been able
to get away with it.

I never heard of anybody
cheating at Bingo before.

-It's all luck.
-Okay.

So we have a system
where the numbers

are written in the card, right?

-[Reginald] Yes.
-Okay.

So he uses
the same utensil

to write a number
on the card

after the number
has been called.

What? How is that
even possible?

They're already written.

That's the key.

It is the single digits
he exploits.

Explain.

Yeah, yeah, explain.

I will explain.

-Say the number 13 is called.
-Mm-hmm.

He will look for a card
that has number one.

And he will write
the three after,

thus giving him 13.

Who the hell would do that
for a game of Bingo?

You! You!
I saw you do it!

I'm afraid that's a bit
of a stretch, Efe.

I mean, I can't believe
that someone

would actually do that
for a game of Bingo.

-Wouldn't do that.
-Ah.

Hey, man, I've awfully tired.
I'm gonna go lie down.

You two gentlemen
have a great evening.

[chuckling gleefully]

All right, all right.
You got me.

[laughing]
You got me, African.

How you figure that out?

I have my ways.

Well, you know, uh, ain't nobody
gonna believe you.

Eh? Well, I demand that you pay
everybody back

you owe in this facility.

Oh, I ain't paying back
a damn thing, sucker!

Heard the whole thing
and never left.

That was the plan
all along.

All right, look. Okay, okay.
[laughs nervously]

So, so y'all played me, huh?
You played me.

The kids say, "You played
yourself. Sucker!"

Okay, I tell you what?
I'ma be honest.

I'ma be honest. I'm not
gonna lie no more.

You know what? The last game
of Bingo we played,

that's the only time
I cheated.

You know
that is not true.

Okay, all right. Tell you
what I'ma do.

I'ma give y'all
your money back

from everybody who played Bingo.

How about I do that?
How about. I'ma do that.

Here you go. Uh, see.

Uh, there you go
right there.

Uh, you know, whatever.

I got a game to watch.
I ain't got time for this.

This is not even all the money.
He has more money.

[music]

So you end on a wide shot
of the cereal bowl

with rain falling into the bowl.
[doorbell ringing]

Signifying change.
The end.

Efe, I'm shocked.

I didn't believe it at first,

but I actually think
this is gonna work!

If you want to go fast,
go alone.

If you want to go far,
go together.

We have arrived.

I don't think I even wanna know
what's going on here.

Oh, no, I'm working
on my acceptance speech

for the awards we are going
to win for this episode.

So you finished the story
about the cereal?

Yes, yes, we have, and I'm going
to be a big star.

What's he talking about,
Anastasia?

I don't know about a star,

but he helped finish
a unique story.

Well, I'm sure there will be,
uh...

The compensation for this
will be very well worth it.

So how many millions will I be
paid for this episode?

You'd have to be one of the best
writers in the world

to get millions
for a script.

Well, I am one of the best
writers in the world.

I've never seen you
write anything.

Well, they asked me to write
the script as a favor

because they like the idea,

but there's no compensation
for it.

What?

I did all of this for free?

Oh, no, Efe, you did it
to help me secure the role.

But I thought there was going
to be a generous compensation.

I'm sorry, Efe.

But I can put in a good word

and see if they can get you
in an episode down the line.

Will you do that for me?

-Sure!
-Okay, okay, okay!

It was a dark and stormy night
in the hot Safari.

But if you look
in the distance,

there, there,

it is a cereal bowl!

A bowl of cereal.

I can't believe he took money
out of our pocket

and refused
to give it all back.

How long have you known Vinny?

Right. I just
don't understand sometimes.

[Vinny grumbling]

Sitting here, crying.
Crying!

Like two little bitchas!

Two little bitchas
sitting in a chair.

Okay, I'll admit it.
I stole the money.

And had a good time
doing it.

Would've got about $1,000
had you not cracked the case.

But I tell you what
I'm gonna do.

Bitchas!

I'ma give you the rest
of the money back I stole.

'Cause I don't wanna
hear it no more. Here it is.

It's the rest
of the money.

Wow.

Ah, Vinny, this is...

No, please do not give me
another African proverb.

Please, I can't take it.

I'm up to here
with African stuff.

I've had enough.
"The dancing man..."

I don't wanna hear nothing

about goats or pigeons
or dogs, nothing.

Do you think there is hope
for that one?

[both] Nah!

[music]

[music]

[music]

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