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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,037
[music]
2
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:08,074
Hello.
Any checks come for me?
3
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,776
Nope.
There's a bill for you.
4
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:13,179
You can keep that.
[chuckles]
5
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,614
Ah! Whatcha got there?
6
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,783
Man, this is my old college
alumni newsletter.
7
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,385
[Vinny] Uh-huh.
8
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:21,187
I can't believe I went to school
with some of these knuckleheads.
9
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,557
They'd probably say
the same thing about you.
10
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:26,993
One dude about to get
married for the fourth time.
11
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,662
And he put a shoutout
to his ex-wives
12
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:31,965
and his baby mamas.
13
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,200
Then he had the nerve
to attach a photo
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,236
entitled "Back in the Day."
15
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,471
Man, some people just stupid
down to the white meat.
16
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:42,409
How you on your
fourth wife, huh?
17
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,943
I'm still trying to
figure out the first one.
18
00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:48,181
-I know that's right!
-[both laugh]
19
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:49,349
What's so funny?
20
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,584
[Vinny] Nothin', nothin' at all.
21
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,386
Oh-hoo-hoo!
22
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,221
Is that the latest
alumni newsletter?
23
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,457
-Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
-Wow!
24
00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:00,827
Or should I say the
National Alumni Enquirer ,
25
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,362
with all this gossip?
26
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,197
I cannot believe the school
27
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,699
has not stopped them
from putting out this trash.
28
00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:09,068
Yeah, well, look, your boy
made the spotlight throwback.
29
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:11,471
-My baby!
-[laughs]
30
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,540
[Leah]
You look the same.
31
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,541
Look at that!
32
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:15,909
Oh my gosh,
you look the same.
33
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,310
I know, right?
34
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:18,878
Man, picture of me
and my old roommate spinnin'.
35
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,013
We had the parachute pants
36
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,782
and the matching
Gumby haircuts.
37
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:25,018
Yet somehow you say that
with so much pride.
38
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:28,087
[Vinny] He really does.
[chuckling]
39
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,089
Yo, Smitty,
that was my boy.
40
00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:31,291
We was thick as thieves.
41
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,393
Ooh, remember
that old Chrysler he had?
42
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,729
Y'all probably pushed it
more than you actually drove.
43
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:38,865
Yeah, yeah,
that was the good old days.
44
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,134
Well, you know what?
That's about all time I have
45
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,603
for this pitiful-ass walk
down memory lane.
46
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:46,473
I've got to get ready
for my date with Lola,
47
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:50,910
and Lola can go lolo,
if you know what I mean,
48
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:53,880
because she's nasty.
[chuckles]
49
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,281
Ahh--ooh!
50
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,750
Oh, oh, you okay, Grandpa?
What's goin' on?
51
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,285
What's goin' on?
Describe how you feelin'.
52
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,787
-What you feelin'?
-It's my hip.
53
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,523
-Okay, okay.
-It is sore.
54
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:06,292
I mean, is it a shooting pain?
Or what you feelin'?
55
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,428
Just like throbbing
up the--oh, oh.
56
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:09,929
Oh, man.
57
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:11,331
What happened?
What did you do?
58
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,633
Well, three nights ago,
I'm at the club, right?
59
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,636
And I'm dancin' with
this big booty woman, right?
60
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,205
And, uh, big booty woman
did a dip, and I--
61
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,107
-I guess I hurt my hip.
-Hmm.
62
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:24,677
Maybe you shouldn't be bumping
no more with no big booty woman.
63
00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:27,447
And you shouldn't be
at some nightclub, Grandpa.
64
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:30,183
Yeah, ain't you, like, 90?
Your clubbing days are over.
65
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,751
Oh, you know
what you should try?
66
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:33,920
That ballroom
wheelchair dancing, yeah.
67
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,622
A lot less pressure on the hips.
68
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,457
You know, you gonna
be this age one day.
69
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,559
I hope your
great grandkids clown you
70
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,394
just like you clown me.
Now, here's what you do.
71
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:44,898
Hold my coffee
and help me to my damn room.
72
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,667
[grunting]
73
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,969
I got it.
74
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:53,172
Ooh, ooh, the burn, it burns.
75
00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:56,376
[grunting, groaning]
76
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:59,078
I'ma bring you a heat pad,
Grandpa, okay?
77
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:01,714
And somethin' to
rub up that hip.
78
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:06,352
What's wrong, baby?
You worried about Grandpa Vinny?
79
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,922
What? Please.
He gonna outlive all of us.
80
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,760
I'm thinkin' about Smitty.
You know, that was my brother.
81
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,630
I can't believe I haven't talked
to him in all these years.
82
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:21,367
Mm-hmm.
So what you gonna do about it?
83
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,303
I don't know.
Maybe I should look him up.
84
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,238
See if I can get
the bros back together.
85
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,040
[laughing] Oh my gosh!
86
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,876
Trouble in the city, okay?
87
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,311
-And this dude?
-Yes.
88
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,079
-Mm-hmm.
-Oh my gosh.
89
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,715
Look at that.
[indistinct]
90
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:40,679
? No matter what you do,
I love you ?
91
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:44,583
? No matter where you go,
I'm behind you for sure ?
92
00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:47,419
? Always remember,
blood ain't never water ?
93
00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:50,222
? We'll make it if
we stay together ?
94
00:03:51,916 --> 00:03:54,151
[music]
95
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:57,188
Phillip, dear,
have you seen my--
96
00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:59,423
Oh, there they are, never mind.
97
00:03:59,423 --> 00:04:01,459
Ah, I've been looking
all over for those.
98
00:04:01,459 --> 00:04:03,728
You were looking for my glasses?
99
00:04:03,728 --> 00:04:05,663
No, I've been looking
for my glasses.
100
00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,232
Keep looking, dear.
These are mine.
101
00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:10,701
Ahhh, see those
scratches in them?
102
00:04:10,701 --> 00:04:14,171
I etched my name in them
with a magnifying glass
103
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,373
and a sewing needle
104
00:04:15,373 --> 00:04:16,674
just to prevent
this sort of thing.
105
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:20,711
The only letters I see
spell out "Made in China."
106
00:04:20,711 --> 00:04:22,680
Oh, Reginald, dear,
you can borrow my glasses
107
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,616
as soon as
I find out if Shaniqua
108
00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:27,885
takes back that
low-down cheating Kwame.
109
00:04:27,885 --> 00:04:30,655
I couldn't care less
about Shaniqua and Kwame.
110
00:04:30,655 --> 00:04:33,324
I need my glasses
to do my crossword puzzle.
111
00:04:33,324 --> 00:04:34,892
It's good for my brain.
112
00:04:34,892 --> 00:04:40,164
Oh, Miss Anastasia, I think
I see your glasses right here.
113
00:04:40,164 --> 00:04:43,100
Oh, silly me!
114
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,303
Such a foolish woman.
115
00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,905
Reginald, darling, please
forgive my silly mistake.
116
00:04:47,905 --> 00:04:49,173
Forgiven and forgotten.
117
00:04:49,173 --> 00:04:50,575
Don't give it another
thought, my peach.
118
00:04:50,575 --> 00:04:53,144
Yeah, Miss Anastasia,
don't beat yourself up too much.
119
00:04:53,144 --> 00:04:54,579
You probably just
need your afternoon nap.
120
00:04:57,048 --> 00:04:59,417
Let me see these. Whoa!
121
00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:02,253
Mr. Reginald, what
prescription is this?
122
00:05:02,253 --> 00:05:03,788
If you ever get
stuck in the woods,
123
00:05:03,788 --> 00:05:06,357
you could probably use these to
harness the rays of the stars,
124
00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:08,826
the moon, and the sun.
125
00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:11,662
If I didn't know
any better, Phillip...
126
00:05:11,662 --> 00:05:14,298
I think you just called me old!
127
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:16,267
I am not old!
128
00:05:16,267 --> 00:05:18,202
Old is what you discard
from your closet
129
00:05:18,202 --> 00:05:20,071
or toss out of your fridge.
130
00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:21,973
I am well seasoned!
131
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,175
What are you trying
to say about my glasses?
132
00:05:24,175 --> 00:05:26,277
That I'm blind as a bat?
That I need--
133
00:05:26,277 --> 00:05:28,279
could use a seeing-eye dog?
134
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,916
What is going on here
with all this shouting?
135
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,050
What the hell is going on?
136
00:05:33,050 --> 00:05:34,619
I can hear Reggie's
butt cheeks clenching
137
00:05:34,619 --> 00:05:37,221
way up from
the back of the room, man!
138
00:05:37,221 --> 00:05:39,023
I just made a joke
and they got upset.
139
00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:40,424
Look, on the bright side,
140
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:41,826
you guys can use
this extra energy
141
00:05:41,826 --> 00:05:46,163
to get those sluggish
cardiovascular systems pumping.
142
00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:47,598
I never!
143
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:52,236
Phillip,
144
00:05:52,236 --> 00:05:54,405
in my country,
elders are treated with
145
00:05:54,405 --> 00:05:56,774
great respect and reverence.
146
00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,843
They're not to be
mocked and made fun of.
147
00:05:58,843 --> 00:06:01,212
What?
I wasn't being disrespectful.
148
00:06:01,212 --> 00:06:03,948
I was just...making a joke.
149
00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,383
You okay, Efe?
150
00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:07,318
I'm fine.
151
00:06:07,318 --> 00:06:10,354
No, no, I'm not fine.
I'm not fine.
152
00:06:10,354 --> 00:06:13,157
It's just my, my bladder
is working overtime
153
00:06:13,157 --> 00:06:15,359
since I started taking those--
154
00:06:15,359 --> 00:06:18,229
Oh, those prostate supplements.
155
00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:20,097
to promote prostate health.
156
00:06:20,097 --> 00:06:21,966
[grunts]
157
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,367
Looks like he doin' a dance!
158
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,970
Go, Efe! Go, Efe!
159
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:28,072
Hey, hey!
160
00:06:28,072 --> 00:06:30,274
Know that what you do
will come back to you
161
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:32,109
one way or another.
162
00:06:32,109 --> 00:06:33,978
Oh, oh!
163
00:06:33,978 --> 00:06:34,979
Yeah, yeah, you know what?
164
00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:36,681
I don't know
what you laughin' about.
165
00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:39,116
He's talkin' about all that what
goes around, comes around stuff
166
00:06:39,116 --> 00:06:40,951
about you!
167
00:06:40,951 --> 00:06:43,754
Respect for your elders!
168
00:06:43,754 --> 00:06:44,922
Old people.
169
00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:54,598
Forget this.
170
00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:01,572
[yawns]
171
00:07:13,451 --> 00:07:19,690
[music]
172
00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:23,127
[snores]
173
00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:24,662
[coughs]
174
00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:27,765
[groans]
175
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:33,537
[music]
176
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,106
Whatever you lookin' for,
I don't have it
177
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:37,608
and I don't know where it is.
178
00:07:37,608 --> 00:07:39,443
I'm trying to find
Smitty's phone number.
179
00:07:39,443 --> 00:07:42,580
Well, did you look
in your phone book?
180
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:45,683
-I got a phone book?
-Yes, look.
181
00:07:45,683 --> 00:07:49,320
Oh, I transferred
all your, um, old numbers,
182
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,755
all them little
raggedy pieces of paper
183
00:07:50,755 --> 00:07:54,024
with scribbled-on names
and numbers in it years ago.
184
00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:55,893
-What--
-Really?
185
00:07:56,761 --> 00:07:57,828
Huh?
186
00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:01,532
Wow!
187
00:08:01,532 --> 00:08:02,833
You know what?
188
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,336
You really are
an amazing first wife.
189
00:08:05,336 --> 00:08:07,138
First wife...
190
00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:11,108
All right, I found it.
Give him a call.
191
00:08:16,447 --> 00:08:18,783
Ah, disconnected.
192
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,153
You might have
to track him down.
193
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:25,422
Uh, call some mutual friends.
194
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,926
Email those ratchet
alumni newsletter people.
195
00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:33,097
You put his mother
number in here too.
196
00:08:34,832 --> 00:08:36,534
I'll call.
197
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:37,935
Ms. Reid.
198
00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:42,807
Voicemail. It's her.
199
00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:44,742
Hey, Ms. Reid.
This is Jeremy Washington.
200
00:08:44,742 --> 00:08:46,644
I'm a old college
friend of Smitty's,
201
00:08:46,644 --> 00:08:48,345
and I was just trying
to get in touch with him.
202
00:08:48,345 --> 00:08:49,580
Can you please
give me a call back
203
00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:51,248
at your earliest
convenience on this number?
204
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:52,516
Thank you.
205
00:08:52,516 --> 00:08:55,186
Oh, Ms. Reid
and your mama remind me
206
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,921
so much of each other.
207
00:08:56,921 --> 00:08:59,957
Nobody was ever
good enough for they son.
208
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:00,925
You can't talk.
209
00:09:00,925 --> 00:09:02,259
You're the same
way with Phillip.
210
00:09:02,259 --> 00:09:03,594
Whatever.
211
00:09:03,594 --> 00:09:05,329
Remember that time
that Smitty told his girl
212
00:09:05,329 --> 00:09:06,931
-that he was with me?
-Oh!
213
00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:09,166
And then she got my number
and called me that night?
214
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,068
Oh!
215
00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:13,771
I was dead asleep.
I was knocked out.
216
00:09:13,771 --> 00:09:16,140
He was cold busted.
217
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:19,310
I thought she was gonna beat
him down and you too, shoot.
218
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:21,445
[laughs]
219
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:26,550
Man, I just keep thinking about
all the fun we had in college.
220
00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:28,352
Like, all these memories
are just flooding my mind
221
00:09:28,352 --> 00:09:30,387
out of nowhere.
It's crazy.
222
00:09:30,387 --> 00:09:33,090
Like the early
memories of our love,
223
00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:37,895
when all we cared about
were our classes and each other.
224
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,530
I was talkin' about the memories
225
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:42,733
of us throwing them
legendary parties.
226
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:44,802
You remember that
time Heavy D came?
227
00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:47,571
[Both] Diddly, diddly, diddly,
diddly, diddly, diddly, yay!
228
00:09:47,571 --> 00:09:48,906
[phone ringing]
229
00:09:48,906 --> 00:09:50,341
[laughs]
230
00:09:50,341 --> 00:09:51,742
Oh, it's her!
231
00:09:53,911 --> 00:09:54,979
Hello?
232
00:09:54,979 --> 00:09:57,815
Hey, Ms. Reid!
Yeah, yeah.
233
00:09:57,815 --> 00:09:59,850
Oh, it's so good
to hear your voice too.
234
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:00,885
Mm-hmm.
235
00:10:00,885 --> 00:10:02,152
Yeah, I was just
calling to see about
236
00:10:02,152 --> 00:10:03,888
getting in touch with,
uh, Smitty and...
237
00:10:06,090 --> 00:10:07,124
What?
238
00:10:08,592 --> 00:10:11,528
Oh, no. No!
239
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,999
How? When did this happen?
240
00:10:18,836 --> 00:10:22,806
Oh my god,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
241
00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:25,442
Yeah, yeah. I will.
242
00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:28,145
You too.
All right, bye.
243
00:10:31,582 --> 00:10:34,285
Baby, what's wrong?
244
00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:36,153
Smitty died three weeks ago.
245
00:10:36,153 --> 00:10:38,689
What?
246
00:10:38,689 --> 00:10:41,225
Oh, Jeremy.
247
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,626
Oh, no.
248
00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:45,897
Oh my God.
249
00:10:45,897 --> 00:10:46,898
[laughs]
250
00:10:46,898 --> 00:10:49,334
Rise and shine, old dude!
251
00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:51,603
Who said that?
252
00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:54,672
All my soaps!
My soaps!
253
00:10:54,672 --> 00:10:56,474
I guess my afternoon nap
must've took a little longer
254
00:10:56,474 --> 00:10:59,611
than...than I really...
I planned for.
255
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:01,846
Yeah, look like
you due for a nap.
256
00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:03,581
An even longer nap.
An eternal nap.
257
00:11:03,581 --> 00:11:04,882
But don't worry about it.
258
00:11:04,882 --> 00:11:07,418
I got something here
for your aches and pains.
259
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:08,786
Where's it at?
260
00:11:08,786 --> 00:11:11,155
Here, here you go.
Maybe these will help.
261
00:11:11,155 --> 00:11:12,256
Who said that?
262
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:13,958
I found them in the
refrigerator again.
263
00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:15,927
Ah!
264
00:11:15,927 --> 00:11:17,362
Oh, thank you, young man!
265
00:11:17,362 --> 00:11:19,631
Okay. Okay.
266
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,003
Agh!
267
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:26,304
Long day.
268
00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:29,807
[groans]
Alrighty, now.
269
00:11:30,475 --> 00:11:32,410
Oh, okay.
270
00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:33,578
I'm comin'!
271
00:11:33,578 --> 00:11:34,979
[grunts]
272
00:11:37,215 --> 00:11:38,449
Come on, baby, come on.
273
00:11:38,449 --> 00:11:39,584
Oh, we're goin' back that way?
274
00:11:39,584 --> 00:11:41,619
Why'd you let me
go that far, then?
275
00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:42,887
Let me--
[coughs]
276
00:11:42,887 --> 00:11:44,656
Come on, come on, come on.
Right here.
277
00:11:44,656 --> 00:11:45,923
Okay, alrighty.
278
00:11:45,923 --> 00:11:49,193
Here you are,
mushy like you like it,
279
00:11:49,193 --> 00:11:52,330
since you can never
seem to find your dentures
280
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,499
Where they at?
281
00:11:54,499 --> 00:11:56,234
Alrighty.
282
00:11:56,234 --> 00:12:01,239
Ooh, papa, ooh, papa, I got
the special item you need--
283
00:12:01,239 --> 00:12:02,540
[Phillip] What?
284
00:12:02,540 --> 00:12:04,308
[louder] I got the
special item you need
285
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:05,877
from the health food store!
286
00:12:05,877 --> 00:12:09,247
Okay!
Tell 'em I said thank you!
287
00:12:09,247 --> 00:12:13,351
And here, take this prostate
supplement every day
288
00:12:13,351 --> 00:12:16,387
so you can be a big hit
with the ladies like me.
289
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:17,622
[laughs]
290
00:12:17,622 --> 00:12:19,157
-[groans]
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
291
00:12:19,157 --> 00:12:21,959
-My hip! My back!
-Sorry, sorry.
292
00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:25,096
Help me up! Help me!
Help! I'm goin' down.
293
00:12:25,096 --> 00:12:26,664
Help me!
294
00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:29,801
The ladies, man.
The ladies, man.
295
00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:31,769
The ladies love me, man.
296
00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:34,605
Oh, come on!
297
00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:35,973
Ah!
298
00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:38,009
Okay. Ah!
299
00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:39,377
Ah!
300
00:12:40,912 --> 00:12:42,680
Where are my teeth?
301
00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:44,882
Uh!
302
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:46,784
Oh.
303
00:12:48,086 --> 00:12:53,858
[music]
304
00:12:54,492 --> 00:12:57,895
[muttering]
305
00:12:57,895 --> 00:13:00,231
Baby, baby, wake up.
You dreamin'.
306
00:13:00,231 --> 00:13:01,699
Huh?
307
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:04,535
Okay, what?
308
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:07,405
What are you doin', boy?
309
00:13:07,405 --> 00:13:09,907
-Oh God! Oh God!
-Oh my God!
310
00:13:09,907 --> 00:13:11,843
-Oh, Phillip!
-I had a nightmare!
311
00:13:11,843 --> 00:13:13,544
Baby, what happened?
312
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:15,146
-I was old!
-Like old old?
313
00:13:15,146 --> 00:13:16,047
Like old old!
314
00:13:16,047 --> 00:13:17,782
-Like Grandpa?
-[moans]
315
00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:19,317
Oh, baby,
wait, wait, wait, okay.
316
00:13:19,317 --> 00:13:21,085
Look at me, look at me.
317
00:13:21,085 --> 00:13:23,521
Did you eat
something strange last night?
318
00:13:23,521 --> 00:13:24,922
Something on your mind?
319
00:13:24,922 --> 00:13:26,524
Like, I'm just trying to
figure out what's going on.
320
00:13:26,524 --> 00:13:28,025
Why are you feelin'
on your teeth?
321
00:13:28,025 --> 00:13:33,064
I had no--I had no teeth!
[sobs]
322
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:34,232
Oh, baby!
323
00:13:34,232 --> 00:13:36,501
And my back,
I couldn't stand up straight!
324
00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:38,803
-I was hunched over!
-Oh...
325
00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:42,140
And I was screaming
like "Aaaaggh!"
326
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:44,709
Like, "Aaagghh!"
327
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,677
Oh, that was a nightmare.
328
00:13:46,677 --> 00:13:49,147
Oh, well, you look good, okay?
All right.
329
00:13:51,315 --> 00:13:53,951
What was it? Tell me.
330
00:13:53,951 --> 00:13:56,220
-I gotta do better.
-You got to do...
331
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:57,588
Oh God!
332
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:01,793
[music]
333
00:14:01,793 --> 00:14:03,761
Here here, the bucket
list strategy meeting
334
00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:05,363
is now in session.
335
00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:07,732
Yes, and I believe
the first order of business
336
00:14:07,732 --> 00:14:09,300
is to change the bucket list.
337
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,169
Have you people
read this bucket list?
338
00:14:11,169 --> 00:14:13,304
Who's in favor of
changing the bucket list?
339
00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:15,006
To be fair,
Smitty and I were teenagers
340
00:14:15,006 --> 00:14:16,340
when we came up with this stuff.
341
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:17,642
Look here, Efe,
342
00:14:17,642 --> 00:14:19,410
before you hate on the
bucket list and vote against it,
343
00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:21,479
how about we go over it to see
if there's something you like?
344
00:14:21,479 --> 00:14:24,549
-Okay, fair enough!
-You haven't even looked at it.
345
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:28,019
"Number one, finish
a Gut Buster Burger
346
00:14:28,019 --> 00:14:32,290
at Murder by Burger
Bar & Grill." No thanks.
347
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,826
I don't even think
that place is open anymore.
348
00:14:34,826 --> 00:14:39,197
"Number two, spend the
night in a cemetery."
349
00:14:39,197 --> 00:14:40,298
Count me out.
350
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:41,732
I wouldn't want anybody
to get confused
351
00:14:41,732 --> 00:14:43,534
and decide to leave there.
352
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,970
Besides that, it's scary.
353
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,406
-For those reasons, I'm out.
-Uh-huh, me too.
354
00:14:48,406 --> 00:14:50,975
Me three.
Number three--check this out--
355
00:14:50,975 --> 00:14:54,178
how about you do
a stand-up comedy routine
356
00:14:54,178 --> 00:14:56,948
at a comedy club
at amateur night?
357
00:14:56,948 --> 00:14:58,749
[cheering, agreeing]
358
00:14:58,749 --> 00:15:02,019
Yeah, Miss Anastasia
actually lookin' for
359
00:15:02,019 --> 00:15:04,355
a local venue for me
to perform at now.
360
00:15:04,355 --> 00:15:06,057
[Vinny] That's good, yeah!
See? All right.
361
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:08,226
All right, so it's unanimous.
362
00:15:08,226 --> 00:15:10,595
It seem like everybody thinks
that the stand-up comedy thing
363
00:15:10,595 --> 00:15:12,663
would be a good first thing
to check off my list.
364
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:13,731
All in favor?
365
00:15:13,731 --> 00:15:15,266
[All] Aye!
366
00:15:15,266 --> 00:15:17,235
All right, this meeting
is now adjourned!
367
00:15:18,369 --> 00:15:20,404
Not so fast.
368
00:15:20,404 --> 00:15:23,507
I called practically
every club in Georgia.
369
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:27,078
Everything is already
booked for this week.
370
00:15:27,078 --> 00:15:28,412
Everything? Hold up, now.
371
00:15:28,412 --> 00:15:30,648
You mean to tell me
you can't use your charm
372
00:15:30,648 --> 00:15:31,983
and Hollywood connection
373
00:15:31,983 --> 00:15:34,051
to get this man a spot?
374
00:15:34,051 --> 00:15:36,220
As a matter of fact,
I have the manager
375
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:38,990
of the Rooster in the
Henhouse in Tennessee
376
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:41,359
reserving a spot
for Jeremy as we speak.
377
00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:44,862
Ain't nobody drivin'
to no damn Tennessee, woman!
378
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:47,198
I'm sorry, Jeremy.
It's so last minute.
379
00:15:47,198 --> 00:15:48,766
Everything is booked solid.
380
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:52,069
But I could get you in
somewhere in a couple of weeks.
381
00:15:52,069 --> 00:15:54,605
Mr. Brown and Cora will be back
from the church conference
382
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,240
and can attend too.
383
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,043
No, no, no, the time is now,
Miss Anastasia.
384
00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:01,579
I gotta do it now.
If I wait too long,
385
00:16:01,579 --> 00:16:03,080
then I might lose my nerve.
386
00:16:04,682 --> 00:16:06,284
I have an idea.
387
00:16:06,284 --> 00:16:09,053
[Vinny] Ooh, let's hear that.
What you got, huh? What you got?
388
00:16:10,813 --> 00:16:12,848
[music]
389
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:20,556
[cheers and applause]
390
00:16:20,556 --> 00:16:21,991
Good evening, everybody,
391
00:16:21,991 --> 00:16:26,028
and thank you for
coming out of your rooms
392
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:29,398
to One Night Only:
The Comedy of Jeremy Washington.
393
00:16:29,398 --> 00:16:31,334
[cheers and applause]
394
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,803
Now, before
I introduce the headliner,
395
00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:35,738
have you guys
heard of the teenager
396
00:16:35,738 --> 00:16:38,140
who just kept
collecting magazines?
397
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:39,775
Yeah, that guy has some issues.
398
00:16:39,775 --> 00:16:41,744
[laughter]
399
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:43,145
I mean, speaking of issues,
400
00:16:43,145 --> 00:16:46,048
what do the moon
and a teenager have in common?
401
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,750
They're always
going through a phase!
402
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:50,653
[laughter and applause]
403
00:16:50,653 --> 00:16:52,655
Thank you.
404
00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:54,123
Your jokes are hilarious, but
405
00:16:54,123 --> 00:16:56,559
how come you always
talkin' about teenagers?
406
00:16:56,559 --> 00:17:00,396
I mean, not too long ago,
I was dissing senior citizens.
407
00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:01,530
And I feel bad.
408
00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,733
So, I wanted to apologize
for anybody I hurt
409
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,568
and whoever felt disrespected.
410
00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:08,304
Phillip, dear,
you're a gem of a young man.
411
00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:12,341
And a few old folks jokes here
and there are harmless and fun.
412
00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:16,545
But more fun for me when
you're joking about all of them!
413
00:17:16,545 --> 00:17:21,417
We're lucky we have you
and your family and each other.
414
00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:24,186
Some seniors aren't so lucky.
They don't have anyone.
415
00:17:24,186 --> 00:17:28,391
Yes, you know, our elders
are the keepers of our history,
416
00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:30,026
of our culture.
417
00:17:30,026 --> 00:17:33,796
They are our, our, our
teachers, providers, healers,
418
00:17:33,796 --> 00:17:36,132
and the bridge to the past.
419
00:17:36,132 --> 00:17:39,235
Some of them are left,
uh...neglected,
420
00:17:39,235 --> 00:17:42,438
and left to live
and even die alone.
421
00:17:42,438 --> 00:17:46,575
Elder abuse is real
and affects millions every year.
422
00:17:46,575 --> 00:17:50,012
Some seniors are deprived
of their, their dignity,
423
00:17:50,012 --> 00:17:54,317
their safety, their money,
and even their lives.
424
00:17:54,317 --> 00:17:56,986
Yeah, not to mention
chronic illness,
425
00:17:56,986 --> 00:18:00,222
anxiety, depression, and pain.
426
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:03,326
It dwindles away at
their quality of life.
427
00:18:03,326 --> 00:18:07,029
Not to mention the dwindling
away of my sex life.
428
00:18:07,029 --> 00:18:08,831
Definitely affected
my quality of life.
429
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:10,266
-[Philip] Grandpa.
-You know what?
430
00:18:10,266 --> 00:18:13,903
I think doctors should write
a prescription for sex.
431
00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:15,938
That way everybody
would be happy!
432
00:18:15,938 --> 00:18:16,939
Ninety-day prescription.
433
00:18:16,939 --> 00:18:18,107
All right, all right,
434
00:18:18,107 --> 00:18:19,909
thank you for that,
Grandpa Vinny.
435
00:18:19,909 --> 00:18:22,244
Now please put
your hands together
436
00:18:22,244 --> 00:18:23,913
for a man who needs
no introduction--
437
00:18:23,913 --> 00:18:25,581
[clapping]
Okay, hold on, great, not yet.
438
00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:29,218
I'm going to bring
to the stage a man
439
00:18:29,218 --> 00:18:30,853
who needs no introduction.
440
00:18:30,853 --> 00:18:34,323
Literally you all know him
because you live with him.
441
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:37,226
Okay, he's a man of many
names, but I call him Dad.
442
00:18:37,226 --> 00:18:39,995
So please stand up
and put your hands together for
443
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,597
the man, the legend,
444
00:18:41,597 --> 00:18:43,099
the man who fixes
everything around here,
445
00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:44,567
Jeremy Washington!
446
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:47,169
[cheers and applause]
447
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,004
[Leah]
My man, my man, my man!
448
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,539
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
449
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:53,409
Give it up for my boy, man.
That's my son right there.
450
00:18:53,409 --> 00:18:55,845
Yeah, that boy
won't grow, will he?
451
00:18:55,845 --> 00:18:57,046
Senior in high school,
452
00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:58,114
still can't get on
the roller coaster.
453
00:18:58,114 --> 00:19:00,216
[laughs] Yeah, yeah.
454
00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:01,951
When I made him,
that sperm ain't had no tail.
455
00:19:01,951 --> 00:19:04,186
[laughter]
456
00:19:06,155 --> 00:19:07,456
My name's
Jeremy Washington, y'all.
457
00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:10,393
And, uh, I run
an assisted living facility.
458
00:19:10,393 --> 00:19:12,361
And I'd like to tell you
all about the people in it.
459
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:13,596
Of course,
we got my grandfather.
460
00:19:13,596 --> 00:19:15,731
Oh, man, he old.
461
00:19:15,731 --> 00:19:18,000
He so old, we just made
his bed the shape of a casket.
462
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,336
[laughs]
463
00:19:20,336 --> 00:19:22,972
He gonna die next year!
Yeah!
464
00:19:22,972 --> 00:19:24,473
Not funny.
465
00:19:24,473 --> 00:19:26,342
We're gonna drop the
whole bed right in the ground.
466
00:19:26,342 --> 00:19:28,244
[laughs]
467
00:19:28,244 --> 00:19:29,945
Not funny at all.
468
00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:31,514
We got this
old dude named Reginald.
469
00:19:31,514 --> 00:19:36,352
Reginald--Reginald was the
first light-skinned negro ever!
470
00:19:36,352 --> 00:19:38,454
Wait, wait a minute, hold on.
471
00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:40,489
He graduated with
Martin Luther King.
472
00:19:40,489 --> 00:19:43,592
[laughter]
473
00:19:43,592 --> 00:19:44,727
Yeah, yeah.
474
00:19:44,727 --> 00:19:48,998
Then, then we got this guy
from Africa--
475
00:19:48,998 --> 00:19:51,367
so he says.
476
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,068
Been here 40 years.
Still got the accent.
477
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,938
[laughter and applause]
478
00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:59,575
That's not funny.
That is not funny.
479
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,844
-[Vinny] You have an accent.
-[Efe] That's not funny.
480
00:20:01,844 --> 00:20:04,947
Then let me tell you about
this old freak named Anastasia.
481
00:20:04,947 --> 00:20:10,252
[cheering and applause]
482
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,655
Look, she faster than
Sonic the Hedgehog.
483
00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:17,593
[laughter]
484
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,765
Speaking of fast, my wife--
485
00:20:22,765 --> 00:20:24,400
[exclaiming and applause]
486
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:28,671
Okay! That's it!
Hey, show's over, no, hey.
487
00:20:28,671 --> 00:20:31,941
Okay, sit down.
I don't mess with you. Okay.
488
00:20:31,941 --> 00:20:33,275
Thank y'all, man.
489
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,677
Thank y'all for making
my dream come true, man.
490
00:20:34,677 --> 00:20:37,179
This is my first time
on stage--and the last.
491
00:20:37,179 --> 00:20:38,614
Bucket list crossed off.
492
00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,950
I'm Jeremy Washington.
Thank y'all. Man, I love you.
493
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:44,987
[cheers and applause]
494
00:20:44,987 --> 00:20:49,058
[music]
495
00:20:49,058 --> 00:20:51,660
Baby, that was so good!
496
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,863
Mm! That was awesome!
497
00:20:55,173 --> 00:20:58,743
[music]
498
00:21:26,622 --> 00:21:28,490
[music]
499
00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:33,090
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