All language subtitles for Desperate Housewives S03E01 Listen to the Rain on the Roof.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.BNVST

(Mary Alice) Previously
on Desperate Housewives:

I have another child, Lynette.

(Carlos)
You gave me permission.

Not to sleep with the woman
who's carrying our child!

For some, love will wither...

- (Bree) Do I know you?
- Orson Hodge.
Susan's dentist friend.

While others will wait for love.

For others,
new love will bloom...

that may never arrive.

Something awful happened
on Lakeview Drive last year.

To understand why,
you need to know

that, when Alma Hodge
awoke that morning,

she had no idea
this would be the day
she'd leave her husband.

Certainly,
it began normally enough.

She put away the groceries
per his instructions.

She hung his dry cleaning
exactly as he had requested.

She folded the towels
just as he had taught her.

It was just before noon...

Mama loves her baby.
Does the baby love Mama?

Mama.

When something inside Alma broke

and she decided it was time

to fly away.

Of course, she knew better
than to say this
to her husband.

He thought Alma was happy.

And Orson Hodge did not
like to be contradicted.

So she waited
till he'd left for work.

And then...

Baby, you gotta
come down now.
Mama's in a hurry.

Hurry. Hurry.

If you don't get back
in your cage right now,

I have to leave you
behind. Please.

The next day,
Carolyn Bigsby stopped by.

And, like most nosy neighbors,

she knew you learned more
if you didn't knock.

Alma? Are you home?

- Carolyn?
- I was just
looking for Alma.

We had a coffee date
this morning.
She never showed.

- Uh, Alma left yesterday.
- Left?

We had a bit of a row.

Oh.

Harvey and I thought
we heard some raised voices.

So where'd she go?

Don't know. But I
wouldn't worry about it.
I'm sure she's fine.

(Baby) Orson, no.

Orson, no.

So if I hear from Alma,
I'll let her know
that you dropped by.

(Mary Alice) Yes,
Orson Hodge was a man

who did not like
to be contradicted...

by anyone.

It doesn't rain very often
in the town of Fairview.

But when it does, it pours.

It was on just such a day
that Bree Van de Kamp

went on her first date
with her new friend,
Orson Hodge,

a date that ended
with a kiss in the rain.

This occurred
just as Gabrielle Solis
was conferring

with her new divorce lawyer

and describing, in vivid detail,

her husband's affair
with their maid,

who also happened
to be their surrogate.

Meanwhile,
Lynette Scavo was busy

meeting her husband's
illegitimate daughter...

(chatter)

while resisting the urge
to strangle the girl's mother.

This happened
just after Susan Mayer
learned Mike Delfino

had been badly injured
in a hit-and-run accident

and was now in a coma
at Fairview Memorial Hospital.

At that same moment, Edie Britt
was putting up a for-sale sign

on the lawn of the house
where I once lived.

Edie had also planned
to spruce up the property

by washing down the driveway,

but she was pleased to see
the rain had already
taken care of that.

This is what rainy days
are good for.

They make everything
clean again...

which is necessary
on a street
like Wisteria Lane,

where everything
can get so messy.

(thunder)

Welcome, welcome.

Oh. Don't worry
about the water.

The wood floors are laminated.
Here's a flyer.

(Karen) The police found
her severed fingers
in the garage.

- (woman) Oh, no.
- And they never
found Felicia's body.

I wouldn't be surprised
if someday you open
a cabinet, and hello!

Karen, dear. Have you seen
the marble backsplash?

I just must show it
to you. Excuse us.

What are you trying
to do to me,
you backstabbing cow?

They asked why the owner
was selling.

I told them that
Paul Young was in jail.

They asked why.
Conversation has a flow.

Well, knock it off.

I've been trying to unload
this house for months.

You are not helping.
(Edie chiding)

Those are for potential buyers,
you withered old mooch.

Good luck trying
to find one of those.

Maybe it'll be easier
with the Applewhite house

- and that rec room
in the basement.
- Get out.

Get out. Get out,
get out, get out.

- Edie? Do you have
a moment, please?
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

- (kids) Yeah! Yeah!
- (Tom) Guys.

- Settle down.
- Come on!

- Is Kayla ready yet?
- Just a sec.

Honey, thank you for this.

It's a little weird,

a family Christmas photo
with your husband's
love child.

It means a lot to her
to feel included.

No problem. She's
a great little girl. OK?

All right, let's do this.
I am just going
to check the focus.

- Nora.
- Lynette.

Uh-huh. What are you
doing there?

Well,
it's a family photo,
right?

Tom, could I check
your tie again?

She sat down so quickly,
I didn't know what to say.

How about,
"You're in the frame,
bitch. Move."

- Lynette...
- No, I am sorry.

How much of her crap
do I have to put up with?

First, it's little drop-bys,
then she's inviting
herself to dinner.

Now she wants to be
in our Christmas photo?
That's not happening.

Hey, guys. Don't fight.
It's the holidays.

Nora... this is just
for our family.

I would prefer
if you weren't in it.

Oh.

OK.

Kayla, honey, we gotta go.
They're kicking us out.

We didn't say that Kayla
couldn't be in the photo.

Yeah, well, you know what?

If I'm not your family,
then she's not your family.

It's OK.
I don't have to be
in the picture.

Fine. Fine.
No, absolutely fine.

Put Crazy at the end
and we can crop her
out later.

Fair enough. Everything's OK.
It's OK. Come on, guys.
Come on back.

(Nora)
Thank you, Lynette.

That's the Christmas spirit
that I was looking for.

- Ten seconds.
- (camera whirring)

(camera beeping)

(sighs) I think this is
a little stiff. I have
a really fun idea.

(all gasp)

Where are my crackers?

We're out, but
I got you a pickle.

Pickles and soup?
Who eats that?

- You know, that's all I got.
- Ever heard of a store?

- You did not just do that.
- I hate pickles.

- Pick it up.
- Doctor say I only
get out of bed to pee.

Better for baby, remember?

Don't go. I need you
to rub my feet.

- They're sore.
And doctor say...
- Cut it out, Xiao Mei.

He didn't say anything about
rubbing your chubby stumps.

Rub them yourself.

You treat me like dirt.

Would you rather
go live with Mr. Solis

in a dingy one-bedroom apartment

with no air conditioning
and no cable?

No, I didn't think so.

You are meanest person I know.

I am the meanest person
you know. You've been
in this country a year.

- Modify your nouns, damn it.
- What a bitch.

I can't wait for you
to pop out that baby,
because when you do,

I am putting you
on the first plane
to Shanghai.

You're gonna be on all fours
in a rice paddy before
the epidural wears off.

But you promised
to get me apartment
in Chinatown,

so I can work for
my friend in restaurant,
start a new life.

Tell it to my Chinese
friend, Sue Me.

We do have people
in the hospital
who could do that.

But I like doing it.
I think Mike would
want me to. Oops.

So have you got the results
of his latest MRI yet?

- I'm afraid
there was no change.
- Oh.

Well, how long until
you can do another one?

I don't wanna tell you
not to be optimistic...

It's been six months,
but he could still
come out of it, right?

I saw on the news,
this woman in Peru
woke up after ten years.

There's a reason
that made the news.

You might think I'm naive,
but I know he's
coming back to me.

- Susan...
- Don't say it.

You just keep doing your job,
and I'll keep doing mine.

Oops.

(thunder)

That risotto was perfect.

Just like you.

Listen, I hope you saved
room for dessert.

I got us something
special from a wonderful
little bakery downtown.

(Bree) Ooh.

That is so adorable.
But I don't think
I can eat another bite.

Here, let me take half.

What do you say, Bree?
Will you marry me?

(exhales)

This is a little sudden,
isn't it?

We've only known each other
six months, but I've loved
you every minute of it.

- But if you don't
share my feelings...
- No, no, um...

I do. It's just
that I can't help
being cautious.

Since Rex, I haven't been
exactly lucky in love.

I used to feel the same way.

When Alma left me,
I was shattered.

I realize now it was
the luckiest day
of my life

because it meant I was free
when I met you.

Luck can change, Bree.
Let me change yours.

Yes.

Yes?

Yes, I will marry you, Orson.

(exhales)

(Mary Alice) Ian Hainsworth
had been miserable

ever since a tragic
horseback riding accident

had left his wife, Jane,
in a coma.

For the next three years,

he shied away
from all social contact

because he wanted
to be alone with his grief.

Then one day he met Susan Mayer,

who, because of her own tragedy,

was just as miserable as he was.

And a friendship
slowly blossomed,

because, as everyone knows,

misery loves company.

And Ian was loving this company

more and more every day.

Two... three...

Itch, itch, itch,
itch, itch.
Itch, itch, itch.

- Do the nurses know
you do this?
- Oh, hey.

- You weren't supposed
to see that.
- Clearly.

But you can buy
my silence if you'll
have coffee with me.

I would love to,
but I'm in a rush.

I'm supposed to meet
my girlfriends for lunch.
Is it one yet?

You tell me. I noticed
you're always rushing into
the hall to check the time,

so I bought you this.

Oh.

Wow. (laughs) Um,

I can't accept this.

- This is too extravagant.
- It's nothing.

A guy had a bunch of them
laid out on a blanket.

If you look closely,
it says Folex.

- Still, I...
- Please.

It would make me so happy
if you took it.

Well, in that case,
thank you for
my cheap knockoff.

Oh, my God, I'm late.

- Hi, hi, hi, hi.
- Hi.

- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- (Lynette) No, that's fine.

White gloves.
Are we having luncheon
in the 1880s?

Well, it's a very elegant
club. Orson's been
a member here for years.

It'll be even nicer
when they finish
the construction.

You were mysterious
on the phone. Why did you
want to have lunch?

Well, I wanted to invite you
to a dinner Orson and I
are having this Saturday.

So you asked us to a meal
to announce another meal?

That's so Bree of you.

- What's the occasion?
- Oh, um, no occasion.

- Just a little get-together.
- What are you being
so coy about?

- I'm not being coy.
- She said, coyly.

If you don't tell us,
we're not coming.

All right.

I wanted to wait
and make a proper
announcement, but...

- Orson and I are engaged.
- (Gabby) Oh, my gosh.

- Let me see.
- You move fast.

I know it's quick,
but it just feels so right.

Orson is just the most warm,
wonderful, generous man.

Generous. That means
he's good in the sack.

Actually, no,
we haven't had sex yet.

We're waiting
until we get married.

Oh, my God, you're serious?

No sex at all?
Not even...?

Whatever you're alluding to, no.

But you're gonna get married.

You wouldn't buy a car
without at least taking it
for a little test drive.

It's not like you've never
slept with a guy
you weren't married to.

True, I have, in the past,
given myself away too freely.

How charming to bring
that up while I'm
announcing my engagement.

But I like to think
I have learned
from my mistakes.

So, the dinner is at 8:00.

And when we make
the announcement,

please, everybody
look surprised.

I'm going to replay
the look when I found out
you hadn't banged him yet.

(gasps)

- (high-pitched voice)
Hey, sexy mama.
- That's cute.

You invited Kayla
to Parker's
birthday party?

- Of course.
- And?

- And?
- What did you tell Nora?

I told her that we were
picking up Kayla

for a quiet afternoon at home.

- You lied?
- Damn straight, I lied.

I will not have
that lunatic ruining
one more family gathering.

But Kayla's gonna,
you know, tell Nora
that we had a party,

and I'm just afraid
that Nora's gonna blow
a gasket.

- What?
- So, what are you saying?

You're more afraid
of Nora than of me?

Is that what you think I meant?

Because that is so not
what I meant.

- You scare the hell
out of me, baby.
- Thank you.

The coffee machine was broken,
so I got smoothies.

- They had strawberry
and strawberry.
- I hate strawberry.

So give me the strawberry.

Hi, Jane.

Nothing against smoothies,

but I wouldn't mind
some real food sometime.

- Maybe we could go
to a restaurant.
- You mean outside the hospital?

Yeah, you know, like a date.

A date? (gasps)

Yeah. There's
a lovely little bistro
down the street.

I'm so... I'm really,
really sorry.

Well, that sounds just...
That sounds great.

- I mean, I hope
that's OK.
- Yeah.

So, I was thinking about
how that sounded just now,
the date thing.

I really sprang it on you
out of nowhere.

Yes, you did.

Jane looked cold.

Oh.

Thanks.

Look, we're both
in difficult situations.

I've been in mine
a lot longer than you have.

If you're not ready,
I understand.

If you ever should be,
let me know.

All right.

I am really hungry.

Well, then, let's go
to the blood bank

and swipe some sugar cookies.

Oh, um,

you might wanna give
Jane a sponge bath.

She had a little accident.

(children screaming, laughing)

(telephone ringing)

- Hello?
- Hey, Lynette, it's me.

Hey, Nora.

Are you having a party?

Shh! Quiet,
quiet, quiet. No.

(fakes static)
No, of course not.

In fact, we're just having
a quiet afternoon at home.

The kids are so bored.
We were thinking of taking
them out for ice cream.

Well, would you tell Kayla

that Mommy called
to check on her?

I will, I will.
And I'll see you tonight.

OK. Bye.

- You think she bought it?
- No.

I think she'll be over here
in ten minutes.

OK, let's move, let's move.

I've got ten bucks here
for the kid

who can carry
the most stuff, OK?

Hey, Gabby, it's Lynette.
Got a little emergency here.

Is it OK if we use
your backyard?

Great, great.

And we take complete
responsibility for
whatever the pony does.

Hope you get this message soon.

Oh!

My only concern
would be the neighborhood.

We really need a quiet place
for our retirement.

Oh, are you kidding?

There's no place in Fairview
that's more peaceful.

(Lynette) Where the hell's
the pony? OK, guys.
Come on, come on, come on!

Let me show you the media room.

OK, go on in.
And the balloons.

Good, good. All right.

OK. That's it.
Everybody's in.

Where's the cake?

Oh, crap.

Yoo-hoo!

Anybody home?

- Hello?
- Hey, Nora.

Wow. We weren't
expecting you until seven.

- So where's Kayla?
- Tom took the kids
to the movies.

Uh-uh.
You said ice cream.

Uh-huh. After the movies.

Movies then ice cream.
An American tradition.

So, is something wrong?

To be honest, I thought
that you were lying
and having a party.

- I guess I was wrong.
- Oh, apology accepted.

Want me to walk you to your car?

Where did everybody go?

Nora, look, I am sorry
I lied, but, you know,
you gave me no choice.

Lynette, I want my daughter.

Where's the damn party?

- No. I'm not telling.
- Where's the party?

No, no, no. You want in,
you're gonna have to go
through me.

I want my kid, Lynette.

Kayla! Kayla,
come out here now!

What is going on?

Well, first you have a party
and you don't invite me.

And then you lie about it.
So now we're leaving.

Well, wait a minute.
Hold on, hold on,
hold on, Kayla.

I'm sorry.

We're sorry.
We shouldn't have done it.

But, look, Kayla is
having such a good time.

Why don't we all
just have some cake
and we can...? Lynette.

We can just have fun.
Could you excuse me
for one second?

Lynette.

OK, OK, I know,
but what else could I do?
I'm just thinking of Kayla.

I know you are, Tom,
and I know you love her.

Why else do you think
I'm willing to put up
with all this?

Why I'll say to
my college roommates,

"That's my husband's
love child and her mother
in our Christmas picture."

Because I am your wife.

You always come first with me.

Do I still come first with you?

- I guess I'll
see you later, Nora.
- Well, I'm taking Kayla.

Well, that's a shame.
I've gotta go hoist
a piñata.

Mommy, they have a piñata.

Fine.
I'll be back at seven.

But there had better be
a corner piece of cake
waiting for me.

Come on, Kayla.
Go have some fun.
Go have some fun.

- Thank you for that.
- Sure.

- I'll be back in 20 minutes.
- Gonna go buy a piñata?

Sure am.

Xiao Mei?

Come on out.
I have your lunch.

Xiao Mei, your
favorite soap is on.

There's a doctor
fondling a patient
on the operating table.

You're missing it.

Xiao Mei?

Xiao Mei?

Hey, quick question.
Have you by any chance
seen Xiao Mei?

- I can't believe
you lost our baby.
- I did not lose our baby.

Stop saying that.
I know exactly
where it is.

Inside some crazy Chinese
woman who stole half
a chicken from my fridge.

Hi. Hi. Li Wang, right?

Remember me?
Xiao Mei lives with me.
You came over. We had lunch.

You've got some nerve
showing your face here.
Get out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happened to that
famous Chinese hospitality?

Xiao Mei said you threatened
to send her back to China

to work as a slave
in a rice paddy.

I may have mentioned
deportation,

but I didn't think
she'd take it personally.

- Are you crazy?
- It was banter.

Has this country come
to the point where you
can't joke with the help?

You treat Xiao Mei like dirt.

She's just a poor girl
trying to live
the American dream,

just like your ancestors.

Don't give me that
We Are The World crap.

That woman's uterus
is harboring a stolen baby.

If you know where she is,
start talking,

or I'll get
the health department

to take a closer look
at what you're serving
as moo shu pork.

Boy, those people just
don't have a sense
of humor, do they?

I'm telling you,
at this number, it's not
gonna last long.

We like the neighborhood,

but some odd things have
gone on with this house.

Complete fabrication.
Malicious lies spread
by jealous competitors.

Now you've gotta
check out this storage.

You're not gonna believe
what you can fit in here.

And now the media room.

Wow, we certainly
devoured that ice cream.

- Can I get you anything else?
- You tell me.

- Orson.
- Mmm?

(Bree moans)

I thought we...

Orson.

I just assumed,
now we're engaged...

Does that change
our core values?

No.

But when I saw you standing
in front of the freezer

in a clingy silk dress,

let's just say, well,
it challenged them.

Well, I thought we agreed
we wanted our wedding night
to be perfect.

Yes, but actors want
opening night to be perfect.
That's why they rehearse.

It'll be better this way.

Now, can I get you
some more ice cream?

Not in that dress.

(exhales)

Hi.

So, I need to ask you something.

Ian, you know,
from across the hall?

You met him.

Anyway, he sort of asked me out,

on a date.

I know, you're thrown.
I was thrown, too.

But he's really nice and...

I could sort of use
someone to talk to...

who also talks back.

The thing is, I'm sort of lonely

and the past six months
have been really hard on me.

So what I need is...

I need to know
if it's OK with you
if I go out with him.

Because if it's not, I won't.

I'd like nothing better
than for you to just wake up

and tell me not
to go out with him.

Just wake up and tell me.

Wake up. Please.

All right.

(deep sigh)

I'll see you tomorrow.

I love you.

It is really just dinner.

I'm just dropping off
Carlos and then I'll be
by to pick her up.

OK. Thanks, Edie.

Xiao Mei's fine.
Crisis averted.
No harm, no foul.

You endangered the life
of our baby today.

Don't you dare give me
that attitude.

You have no idea
what I've been
going through.

Here we go.

I have had to wait
hand and foot
on your mistress.

Imagine if the day
after you found out
about John Rowland,

you had to make his lunch
and rub his feet.

John Rowland
wasn't carrying our kid.

Forgive me for being concerned
about our surrogate.

Xiao Mei is going to be fine.

Once that baby comes,
her slate is wiped clean.

She's gonna walk away,
go off and live her
American dream.

Me? I'm gonna be stuck,
a single mother
raising a child alone,

haggling with lawyers
on who gets the kid
at Christmas.

My American dream
is officially dead.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Just so you know,
my dream hasn't exactly...

(tires screech)

OK, so we will see you Saturday.

And please pretend
to be surprised. Bye.

You told someone else?

Bree. The whole point
of the party was to
announce our engagement.

I just can't help it.
I like telling people.

It makes me feel...
I don't know.

It makes me feel
like I'm starting over.

- It feels good.
- Feels good to me, too.

No hands, see?

- (Orson clears throat)
- (Bree moans)

You don't have to wash those.
I already did them.

I found some streaks,

so I'm wiping them down with
undiluted red wine vinegar.

I've never heard of that.

Sure.
But for tougher spots,

I use a fifty-fifty mix
of denatured alcohol
and water.

And for those really
intractable stains,

I mean, we're talking
shower doors,

I wipe on lacquer thinner
with a towel.

- Bree?
- (gasps)

Oh, Orson.

(both grunting)

(sighs, then giggles)

Excuse me.

Did you lose something?

No, I just thought...
for you...

- I don't do that.
- Why not?

- I'm a Republican.
- I'm a Libertarian.

I believe in minimizing
the role of the state and
maximizing individual rights.

But, Orson...

Trust me.
I know what I'm doing.

OK.

(cries out)

- Oh, no.
- What?

You didn't just crack
that veneer again?

I have to go.

Go? Go where?

Then it was like
something inside ruptured.

Well, not so much
a rupture as a spasm.

Waves of this hot, clutching...

I think I might have had
a small stroke.

- How severe were the pains?
- That's the odd thing.

I mean, there was no pain,
per se. In fact, it wasn't
entirely unpleasant.

What were you doing at the time?

I was with my fiancé.

We were lying down...
resting.

I'm gonna take
a wild swing here.
Were you having sex?

Sort of.

Ms. Van de Kamp,
I think you may
have had an orgasm.

No, no, no.
I've had orgasms before.

How would you describe them?

That warm sensation,

that tingling feeling
of relief when it's over.

No, no. This was much...

- Better?
- Yes.

That's 'cause it was an orgasm.

Oh.

Well, I'll be darned.

(music, chatter)

- (Karen) Let me have one.
- Here you go.

It's beautiful.

(doorbell chimes)

Hi. Can I help you?

- Are you Bree Van de Kamp?
- Yes. And you are?

Carolyn Bigsby.
I was Orson's neighbor.

Well, come on in.
Let's dry you off
and get you a drink.

I didn't come here to celebrate.

Carolyn.

Engaged again?
That was quick work.

Does she know
you killed your wife?

My wife left me.

And no one ever
heard from her again.
Not me, not her family.

Just dropped off
the face of the earth.

Orson, what is
she talking about?

Didn't tell you
that part, did he?

- You've made your little scene.
- You keep your hands off me.

Don't let him fool you.
Get away from him now
while you can.

- Please leave my house.
- Fine.

Be a fool. Marry him.

Just don't be surprised
when you go missing, too.

I'm sorry you had
to endure that.

Your wife... disappeared?

I tried to find her.

Her family claimed
not to have heard from her.

Personally,
I think she was just
trying to punish me.

So...
are you still married?

No. I was granted a divorce
on grounds of abandonment.

Bree.

- You can't possibly
think that...
- No, of course not.

I love you.

And I love you.

Orson, my hand.

(all murmuring)

(all silent)

The buffet is open.

Bree?

(woman) It's gorgeous,
just gorgeous.

(Mary Alice) Every storm
brings with it hope

that somehow, by morning,

everything will be made
clean again

and even the most
troubling stains
will have disappeared.

Like the doubts
over his innocence.

Or the consequence
of his mistake.

Like the scars of his betrayal.

Or the memory of his kiss.

So we wait
for the storm to pass,

hoping for the best...

even though
we know in our hearts

some stains are so indelible,

nothing can wash them away.