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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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โช First I was
afraid I was petrified โช
3
00:00:23,521 --> 00:00:25,722
โช Kept thinking
I could never live โช
4
00:00:25,724 --> 00:00:27,758
โช Without you by my side โช
5
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,226
โช But then I spent
So many nights โช
6
00:00:30,228 --> 00:00:32,428
โช Thinking how
You did me wrong โช
7
00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:34,163
โช And I grew strong โช
8
00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:36,366
โช And I learned
How to get along โช
9
00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:38,168
โช And so you're back โช
10
00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,236
โช From outer space โช
11
00:00:40,238 --> 00:00:42,506
โช I just walked in
To find you here โช
12
00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:44,373
โช With that sad look
Upon your face โช
13
00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:46,443
โช I should have
Changed that stupid lock โช
14
00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:48,744
โช I should have
Made you leave your key โช
15
00:00:48,746 --> 00:00:50,781
โช If I'd known
For just one second โช
16
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:52,716
โช You'd be back to bother me โช
17
00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:56,519
โช Go on now, go,
walk out the door โช
18
00:00:56,521 --> 00:00:58,689
โช Just turn around now โช
19
00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:01,127
โช 'Cause you're not
Welcome anymore โช
20
00:01:01,826 --> 00:01:03,527
โช Weren't you
The one who tried โช
21
00:01:03,529 --> 00:01:05,496
โช To hurt me with goodbye โช
22
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,297
โช Do you think I'd crumble โช
23
00:01:07,299 --> 00:01:09,365
โช Did you think
I'd lay down and die โช
24
00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:13,303
โช Oh, no, not I,
I will survive โช
25
00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:16,139
โช Oh, as long as
I know how to love โช
26
00:01:16,141 --> 00:01:17,641
โช I know I'll stay alive โช
27
00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:19,675
โช I've got all my life to live โช
28
00:01:19,677 --> 00:01:21,778
โช And I've got
All my love to give โช
29
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:23,446
โช And I'll survive โช
30
00:01:23,448 --> 00:01:28,618
โช I will survive, hey, hey โช
31
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,157
Thank you, I do love applause
32
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,591
but just throw money next time.
33
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,294
Oh, good evening,
my beautiful kings
34
00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:39,329
and queens.
35
00:01:39,331 --> 00:01:40,564
Look, if you want to take
36
00:01:40,566 --> 00:01:41,865
a photograph, take it now.
37
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,504
Because this is
as good as I get.
38
00:01:45,703 --> 00:01:48,772
It's very unprofessional
to drink on stage,
39
00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:50,407
so could you help me down?
40
00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:52,708
Oh, thank you, sir.
41
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,243
Oh, you're lovely.
42
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,580
Cheers. Hmm.
43
00:01:57,582 --> 00:02:01,184
Oh, that's fucking better.
44
00:02:01,186 --> 00:02:03,553
Is there any lesbians here?
45
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:07,223
Lesbi... Oooh, yes, yes.
46
00:02:07,225 --> 00:02:10,526
How long
have you known each other?
47
00:02:10,528 --> 00:02:13,729
20 minutes? Did I offend you?
48
00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:15,364
Thank fuck for that.
49
00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:22,205
Oooh, hello, big boy.
50
00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:25,942
Tell me something, if
I had a rooster and you had a donkey,
51
00:02:25,944 --> 00:02:28,345
and your donkey
hit my rooster, what
52
00:02:28,347 --> 00:02:30,346
what would you have? Hmm?
53
00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:31,514
My cock in your ass.
54
00:02:32,985 --> 00:02:36,453
Oh, I do love
a dirty audience.
55
00:02:36,455 --> 00:02:37,887
Are you two together?
56
00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:38,922
No shit.
57
00:02:38,924 --> 00:02:41,725
Um... Oh, hello.
58
00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:44,393
Are you alone? Oh, dear.
59
00:02:44,395 --> 00:02:46,262
Do you
know the difference
60
00:02:46,264 --> 00:02:48,665
between erotic and kinky?
61
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:52,735
Let's see, an erotic person
uses a feather,
62
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:56,472
and the kinky person uses
a whole fucking chicken.
63
00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:01,945
Oh, oh, sorry, boys,
he looks better.
64
00:03:01,947 --> 00:03:05,485
Oh, tell me something, big boy.
65
00:03:06,451 --> 00:03:07,984
Are you gay?
66
00:03:07,986 --> 00:03:09,919
Wait, you're straight?
67
00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:12,891
So is spaghetti
until it gets hot and wet.
68
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,592
Is there a married couple here?
69
00:03:16,594 --> 00:03:18,661
Oh, oh, yes.
70
00:03:18,663 --> 00:03:21,430
You look married to me.
71
00:03:21,432 --> 00:03:23,633
How quaint. Tell me something,
72
00:03:23,635 --> 00:03:25,935
do you know
the difference between
73
00:03:25,937 --> 00:03:28,405
your job and your wife?
74
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:31,007
After five years
your job will still suck.
75
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,011
Sorry, darling.
76
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:37,547
You know
why men are like motorcars?
77
00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:39,382
Because they always
pull out before
78
00:03:39,384 --> 00:03:41,550
checking to see if
anybody else is coming.
79
00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:47,326
Oh, you see,
darlings, I'm not fat.
80
00:03:48,426 --> 00:03:50,526
I'm just easier to see.
81
00:05:48,509 --> 00:05:50,144
I'm so sorry,
Mr. Collins.
82
00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:54,512
Is there someone
I can call for you?
83
00:05:54,514 --> 00:05:59,183
- Family? Friends?
- Pardon?
84
00:05:59,185 --> 00:06:00,851
You have
any family or friends
85
00:06:00,853 --> 00:06:02,753
I could call for you?
86
00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:06,092
No, I've...
no family, no friends.
87
00:06:08,028 --> 00:06:09,060
I understand.
88
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:10,529
This must have come
89
00:06:10,531 --> 00:06:11,566
as quite a shock.
90
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,168
Yes, you could say that.
91
00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:22,242
Um, how long...
How long have I got?
92
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:25,879
It's hard to say.
93
00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:29,016
Maybe six, seven weeks.
94
00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,254
Got an expiry date like
a piece of fucking chicken.
95
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:38,692
You have an aggressive
form of cancer, mister Collins.
96
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:40,961
It's spreading quickly.
97
00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:50,000
There's a group of people
who meet on Wednesday nights.
98
00:06:50,002 --> 00:06:53,572
It might help maybe
to talk with people who
99
00:06:53,574 --> 00:06:55,109
are going through
the same thing.
100
00:06:57,711 --> 00:06:59,344
I don't want to
spend the last six weeks
101
00:06:59,346 --> 00:07:03,750
of my life talking about
the last six weeks of my life.
102
00:07:05,752 --> 00:07:07,221
I can understand that.
103
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,091
In the meantime,
I'm going to prescribe something
104
00:07:13,093 --> 00:07:15,226
that will ease
the pain a little bit.
105
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:17,161
Make sure
you take these twice daily.
106
00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:18,533
Okay?
107
00:07:34,146 --> 00:07:36,081
Jackie, you in there?
108
00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:38,683
- What are you doing?
- Taking a shit.
109
00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:42,187
- That's not very lady-like, is it?
- Neither is my cock.
110
00:07:42,189 --> 00:07:45,190
Listen, we've got, uh... We've
got a new kid start tonight.
111
00:07:45,192 --> 00:07:48,726
His name's Faith, just
want you to show him around.
112
00:07:48,728 --> 00:07:50,295
You know, make him feel at home.
113
00:07:50,297 --> 00:07:53,264
Look, I am not
a fucking babysitter.
114
00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:56,267
I'm not asking you to hold his fucking
hand whilst he crosses the street, okay?
115
00:07:56,269 --> 00:07:58,139
Just give him a
little tour round, okay?
116
00:07:59,673 --> 00:08:00,904
Where is he?
117
00:08:00,906 --> 00:08:02,774
He's in the dressing room.
118
00:08:02,776 --> 00:08:03,908
Thank you very much.
119
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,043
Ta-ta, ta-ta.
120
00:08:05,045 --> 00:08:06,112
Fucking unbelievable.
121
00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:16,120
Oh, fuckin' hell.
122
00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:17,158
Jesus.
123
00:08:22,428 --> 00:08:25,730
Anyway
Threw up all over his cock.
124
00:08:25,732 --> 00:08:27,365
Well, it's safe to say
you're never gonna
125
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:30,901
- make a sword swallower, dear.
- What does he...
126
00:08:30,903 --> 00:08:32,437
Hey, um, exc... You're Faith?
127
00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:36,808
- Faith? Faith?
- Yes, I am. And you are?
128
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:40,077
I am your fairy godmother,
you can call me Jackie.
129
00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:41,046
You're Jackie?
130
00:08:41,048 --> 00:08:42,046
I am.
131
00:08:42,048 --> 00:08:43,815
The one and only Jackie.
132
00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:45,817
I didn't
expect you to be so...
133
00:08:45,819 --> 00:08:47,218
Old, old? I know, old.
134
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,986
Well, you gotta
pay the bills, kid.
135
00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,355
Do you mind?
You're sitting in my chair.
136
00:08:50,357 --> 00:08:51,726
Oh, sorry.
137
00:08:56,129 --> 00:08:58,962
How do you
walk in those high heels?
138
00:08:58,964 --> 00:09:01,466
- I've been practicing since I was nine.
- Mm-hmm.
139
00:09:01,468 --> 00:09:04,802
So, tell me, ahem, what is it you do?
You know, what's your thing?
140
00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:07,772
You're a comedian, you dance,
you sing? What is it?
141
00:09:07,774 --> 00:09:09,273
- What's your thing?
- I'm a singer.
142
00:09:09,275 --> 00:09:11,008
Oh, you're a s...
143
00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:14,278
Mollie, you think you got
a bit of competition here.
144
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,948
Oh, bitch, please, the BFG ain't
got nothing on this, honey.
145
00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:20,852
Don't worry about her.
She's all bark and no bite.
146
00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:24,222
Now, listen, couple of rules
you've, uh, gotta know.
147
00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:26,291
First of all, there's
no fucking the customers.
148
00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:29,359
Now, I know that sounds
very obvious, but...
149
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:32,262
I mean, you've got no idea how...
No, no, it happens.
150
00:09:32,264 --> 00:09:33,864
So, whatever
you've got in your panties,
151
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,499
you just keep it in there.
Alright?
152
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:39,137
- Mm-hmm.
- Secondly, all your tips are your own.
153
00:09:39,139 --> 00:09:41,873
We don't share shit here.
154
00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:44,108
Now, you know, generally,
the audience are pretty,
155
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:46,044
you know, generous as long
as you give them what they want.
156
00:09:46,046 --> 00:09:47,811
Well, within reason, remember.
157
00:09:47,813 --> 00:09:50,315
- What's the first rule?
- No fucking the customers.
158
00:09:50,317 --> 00:09:54,319
Good. Good. Now, third rule is,
159
00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:57,756
if anybody touches you,
you know, inappropriately,
160
00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,390
you've got all
the permission in the world
161
00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:00,892
to beat
the living shit out of them.
162
00:10:00,894 --> 00:10:03,026
Fine?
Everything makes sense with you?
163
00:10:03,028 --> 00:10:05,028
- Mm-hmm.
- Good. Oh, yeah.
164
00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:08,134
Arrive 15 minutes early,
Alex will love you.
165
00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:11,236
Uh, talk of the devil.
166
00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:12,903
Kid, you're up.
167
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:13,940
Let's go.
168
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,007
Oh, hey.
169
00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:19,013
Why are you Faith?
170
00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:21,879
'Cause everyone
needs a bit of faith
171
00:10:21,881 --> 00:10:23,180
in their lives, darling.
172
00:10:28,254 --> 00:10:30,220
I give her a week.
173
00:10:30,222 --> 00:10:33,056
โช I'm the sixth queen โช
174
00:10:33,058 --> 00:10:34,959
โช I'm the wrong queen โช
175
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:38,796
โช I've got mascara
Running through my bloodstream โช
176
00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:40,831
โช I'm on the hot step โช
177
00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:43,267
โช I've got a broken heart โช
178
00:10:43,269 --> 00:10:47,272
โช I want to be a cherry-lipped
Little cheap tart โช
179
00:10:47,274 --> 00:10:51,342
โช There's a boy
with a monobrow and clubfoot โช
180
00:10:51,344 --> 00:10:55,879
โช And his family own
All the village huts โช
181
00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:58,752
โช So I traveled to New York โช
182
00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:02,822
โช Sold my crotch
For a dollar and a short โช
183
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,827
โช There's a symphony
In my heart โช
184
00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:12,063
โช And I've lost all my morals โช
185
00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:16,501
โช Down an alleyway,
Boot polish, sky gaze โช
186
00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:20,107
โช Bloody murder, my life has
โช Moved in strange ways โช
187
00:11:21,307 --> 00:11:24,378
โช I was the sixth queen
โช From the start โช
188
00:11:25,544 --> 00:11:28,579
โช But I cast all my morals โช
189
00:11:28,581 --> 00:11:33,151
โช On a tube train,
Boot polish, sky gaze โช
190
00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:36,990
โช Bloody murder my life has
โช Moved in strange ways โช
191
00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:04,017
Hey.
192
00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,153
Hey.
193
00:12:11,924 --> 00:12:14,194
But what's your story?
194
00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,396
What do you mean?
195
00:12:18,899 --> 00:12:21,601
How did you
learn to sing like that?
196
00:12:23,636 --> 00:12:25,670
Self-taught, darling.
197
00:12:25,672 --> 00:12:29,009
I've been singing my whole life
ever since I was a little girl.
198
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:37,051
So, how did you end up here?
199
00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:39,184
Mmh.
200
00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:42,619
Well, when I told
my father I wanted to be
201
00:12:42,621 --> 00:12:44,557
a singer,
he told me to get a real job.
202
00:12:46,359 --> 00:12:50,097
And when I told him I wanted to
give blowjobs, he fucking lost it.
203
00:12:51,298 --> 00:12:52,399
Kicked me out.
204
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,333
The worst thing is he was right.
205
00:12:55,335 --> 00:12:56,903
There's no fucking money in it.
206
00:12:59,505 --> 00:13:01,074
This is the best gig in town.
207
00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:04,644
How old are you?
208
00:13:06,513 --> 00:13:07,947
Don't ask a lady her age.
209
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:13,217
I'm 21.
210
00:13:13,219 --> 00:13:15,222
How old are you?
211
00:13:18,457 --> 00:13:21,191
- 74.
- Fuck it out.
212
00:13:21,193 --> 00:13:23,294
Shouldn't you be in an old
people's home or something?
213
00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:25,530
Listen, I don't piss
in my pants yet, you know.
214
00:13:25,532 --> 00:13:27,665
And when I eat,
I drool just a little.
215
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,370
I mean, I can drive a car.
216
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:33,403
- There's a lot of fight left in me still.
- Mmh.
217
00:13:33,405 --> 00:13:36,440
Well, you look good for
your age if that means anything.
218
00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:40,079
Mmh. Yeah, it does.
Thank you. Yeah.
219
00:13:41,246 --> 00:13:42,313
Hey. Hey.
220
00:13:42,315 --> 00:13:43,982
Who do we have there?
221
00:13:43,984 --> 00:13:45,349
A couple of fucking puffs?
222
00:13:45,351 --> 00:13:49,020
- Yeah. Come on. Let's go.
- Fucking faggots.
223
00:13:49,022 --> 00:13:50,555
It's not right.
224
00:13:50,557 --> 00:13:53,056
Alright. Fuck off.
225
00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:56,560
How are we gonna do it then?
One at a time or all at once?
226
00:13:56,562 --> 00:14:01,565
I mean I got quite a tight ass, but
probably about three inches between you.
227
00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:04,701
- Fuck you say?
- Well, that's why you're in this back alley, isn't it?
228
00:14:04,703 --> 00:14:06,036
To get in my back alley.
229
00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:08,308
Oh, fuck.
230
00:14:12,011 --> 00:14:15,079
Oh. Jeez.
231
00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:16,748
- What are you doing?
- Oh.
232
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:17,717
Are you alright?
233
00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:21,651
I thought you said you still
had a bit of fight left in you.
234
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,624
Oh.
235
00:14:27,027 --> 00:14:30,331
- - Ouw!
- Fucking moron, dickhead.
236
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,666
Look what you've done!
237
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:36,700
Fucking cowards.
238
00:14:36,702 --> 00:14:37,737
Fuck.
239
00:14:47,714 --> 00:14:50,180
You know, you didn't
have to put those back on.
240
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,250
I can't give up, you
know.
241
00:14:54,421 --> 00:14:57,091
In hindsight, maybe we should've
gone back into the club.
242
00:14:57,823 --> 00:14:59,058
You think so?
243
00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:01,094
Yeah.
244
00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:04,298
I just hate hitting people
like that, you know.
245
00:15:06,099 --> 00:15:08,302
I haven't hit anybody
like that for 40 years.
246
00:15:09,369 --> 00:15:10,604
How did it make you feel?
247
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,173
Good.
248
00:15:14,106 --> 00:15:15,442
Makes you feel alive, right?
249
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:18,411
Briefly.
250
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,713
Do you want a coffee
or something?
251
00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:25,451
Mmh? No. No. No.
I'm fine, really.
252
00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:36,160
- Mmh?
- Could I borrow some money, please?
253
00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:38,329
I left my purse at the club.
254
00:15:38,331 --> 00:15:39,664
Yeah, yeah, of course.
255
00:15:41,768 --> 00:15:45,670
Please go to room number five.
256
00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:48,339
Look, there you go. It's alright
257
00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:50,576
Please go to room number five.
258
00:15:52,278 --> 00:15:53,377
Mr. Collins.
259
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,845
He's here.
260
00:15:54,847 --> 00:15:57,180
The doctor will see you now.
261
00:15:57,182 --> 00:15:58,181
Thank you.
262
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,228
And so, do you, uh,
263
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,595
do you want a lift anywhere?
264
00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,166
No, it's fine,
I have my car.
265
00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:19,439
Well, that was
one hell of a night.
266
00:16:20,706 --> 00:16:22,607
It was fun.
267
00:16:22,609 --> 00:16:24,445
I can
think of other words.
268
00:16:26,913 --> 00:16:29,313
Are you working tomorrow night?
269
00:16:29,315 --> 00:16:31,315
Well, as long
as I'm not fired, yes.
270
00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:32,782
Oh, don't worry about that.
271
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:35,254
I'll clear it with Alex,
you'll be fine.
272
00:16:37,256 --> 00:16:40,525
Well, I suppose I'll
see you tomorrow then, Jackie.
273
00:16:40,527 --> 00:16:42,292
Yes, tomorrow.
274
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:44,195
Thank you.
275
00:16:58,177 --> 00:16:59,779
Oh, fuck.
276
00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:14,458
Fuck me, what?
277
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:15,596
Open, open it.
278
00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:22,266
- What the fuck are you doing?
- I'm sleeping in my car.
279
00:17:22,268 --> 00:17:25,603
- You are sleeping in your car.
- Yes.
280
00:17:25,605 --> 00:17:29,540
Oh, God. Look, get your things together.
Come on. Get out of there. Come with me.
281
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:33,611
Come with me. Just get out of
the car and come with me.
282
00:17:33,613 --> 00:17:35,645
- Would you j... just get out of the car?
- Really?
283
00:17:35,647 --> 00:17:39,883
Really. You can't sleep in your
bloody car for God's... Come on.
284
00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:42,853
- You know, Jack...
- Just get your things, close the boot.
285
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:44,854
Get with me. Come on.
286
00:18:17,490 --> 00:18:21,258
Thank you so much for this, Jackie. I promise
it's only one night. Just one night.
287
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:25,298
No, listen. No, you can stay here
until you get somewhere permanent.
288
00:18:26,031 --> 00:18:29,600
- Really?
- Yeah, fine. No, listen, you'll be very comfortable here.
289
00:18:29,602 --> 00:18:33,004
Oh. What? Ooh.
290
00:18:33,006 --> 00:18:35,573
Great, fine.
That's... No, thank you.
291
00:18:35,575 --> 00:18:38,575
That's lovely. Look, you...
You know, sleep well.
292
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,643
See you in the morning. Okay?
293
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:41,511
- Okay.
- I see.
294
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:42,548
Thank you.
295
00:19:04,304 --> 00:19:05,902
Fuck!
296
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:07,240
Mm-hmm.
297
00:19:15,981 --> 00:19:18,815
Oh, what the fuck.
298
00:19:27,693 --> 00:19:28,795
Oh, shit.
299
00:19:32,632 --> 00:19:34,731
What the fuck are you doing?
300
00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:37,034
- You scared me.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
301
00:19:37,036 --> 00:19:41,538
Look, please, please, would you
turn the music down a little?
302
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,507
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
303
00:19:43,509 --> 00:19:44,941
Now, can you please sit down?
304
00:19:44,943 --> 00:19:46,544
I've made you breakfast.
305
00:19:46,546 --> 00:19:47,844
You made me breakfast.
306
00:19:47,846 --> 00:19:48,914
Yes, take a seat.
307
00:19:49,848 --> 00:19:52,051
Oh, thank you very much.
308
00:19:53,486 --> 00:19:56,086
Who's the girl
in all the pictures?
309
00:19:56,088 --> 00:19:59,525
It's, um, it's my daughter.
310
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,526
- Daughter?
- Mm-hmm.
311
00:20:02,528 --> 00:20:03,561
What's her name?
312
00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:04,795
Her name's Lily.
313
00:20:04,797 --> 00:20:06,432
So you're not one of us, then?
314
00:20:07,599 --> 00:20:11,000
What do you mean one of us? Hmm?
315
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:12,405
The gays, darling.
316
00:20:13,573 --> 00:20:17,374
- No, I'm not a gay.
- Fuck off.
317
00:20:17,376 --> 00:20:19,512
No, it's true.
But I tell you one thing, right?
318
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:25,485
I-I do like dressing as a woman,
but I also like being with women.
319
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,757
Do you dress like a woman
outside of the club?
320
00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:33,757
Hm.
321
00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:35,328
Sort of as often as I can.
322
00:20:36,828 --> 00:20:39,365
Well, there's plenty of
time to turn you, darling.
323
00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:45,438
- What about you?
- I don't think that what's between my legs defines me.
324
00:20:46,172 --> 00:20:49,507
I'd prefer not
to be stuck in a box.
325
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,673
Hm.
326
00:20:50,675 --> 00:20:52,610
- Stereotyped.
- Mm-hmm.
327
00:20:52,612 --> 00:20:55,112
- I'm not a guy. I'm not a girl.
- Hm.
328
00:20:55,114 --> 00:20:56,046
I'm an individual.
329
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:57,414
I'm Faith.
330
00:20:57,416 --> 00:20:58,451
Yeah, fine.
331
00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:02,121
Where in the world is Lily?
332
00:21:03,588 --> 00:21:09,528
I, um, I don't know.
333
00:21:11,497 --> 00:21:16,068
We, um... haven't
spoken for 10 years.
334
00:21:20,506 --> 00:21:21,541
Why?
335
00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:24,043
We had an argument.
336
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,113
Because?
337
00:21:27,613 --> 00:21:28,882
Because I wouldn't go
338
00:21:30,082 --> 00:21:31,518
to her mother's funeral.
339
00:21:33,685 --> 00:21:35,585
Why?
340
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:40,493
Well...
341
00:21:42,228 --> 00:21:45,132
When my wife was dying,
342
00:21:46,665 --> 00:21:48,132
she told me not to be there.
343
00:21:48,134 --> 00:21:50,668
- She said that?
- Yeah, she did.
344
00:21:50,670 --> 00:21:53,606
Because you enjoyed...
you liked to dress as a woman?
345
00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:57,844
Daughter never forgave me.
346
00:22:00,913 --> 00:22:01,948
Jackie?
347
00:22:05,183 --> 00:22:06,950
What the fuck are you doing?
348
00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:08,251
What do you think I'm doing?
349
00:22:08,253 --> 00:22:11,087
I'm praying to the East.
350
00:22:11,089 --> 00:22:14,624
Do you know how many different people's
piss is on that floor? Disgusting.
351
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,759
I do now. Thank you.
352
00:22:16,761 --> 00:22:18,761
- Can I see you in my office two secs?
- Why? What's wrong?
353
00:22:18,763 --> 00:22:20,130
Just two secs, two secs.
354
00:22:20,132 --> 00:22:22,533
Alright.
355
00:22:22,535 --> 00:22:24,901
- Fuck!
- Do you want a drink?
356
00:22:24,903 --> 00:22:26,937
Why the fuck not?
357
00:22:26,939 --> 00:22:27,974
Alright.
358
00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:31,275
Here.
359
00:22:31,277 --> 00:22:32,511
Thanks.
360
00:22:34,079 --> 00:22:37,815
So, um,
so the kid's moved in with you?
361
00:22:37,817 --> 00:22:40,284
Yes. Just for a little
while until he gets settled in.
362
00:22:40,286 --> 00:22:42,719
You think that's
a good idea, do you?
363
00:22:42,721 --> 00:22:43,653
What do you mean?
364
00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:44,988
What do I mean?
365
00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:46,155
I mean the kid's only
366
00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,057
21 years old, for fuck's sake.
367
00:22:48,059 --> 00:22:49,692
I'm a little confused.
368
00:22:49,694 --> 00:22:52,228
What are you-
what are you accusing me of?
369
00:22:52,230 --> 00:22:55,533
I just don't think it's
a very good idea. That's all.
370
00:22:55,535 --> 00:22:58,134
What? Because you think that I want to
fuck him? Is that what you're saying?
371
00:22:58,136 --> 00:23:01,805
- Hey. That's not what I said.
- Oh, no, because you don't have the balls
372
00:23:01,807 --> 00:23:04,542
- to say it to my face.
- Listen, we're just-
373
00:23:04,544 --> 00:23:07,113
- talking here, alright?
- I am not gay.
374
00:23:11,817 --> 00:23:13,752
- You're not?
- No, I am not.
375
00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:21,057
- Well... Well, I just assumed.
- Oh, yes, you assumed.
376
00:23:21,059 --> 00:23:23,160
Just because
I like wearing dresses,
377
00:23:23,162 --> 00:23:25,062
I must like sucking cock.
378
00:23:25,064 --> 00:23:26,896
Is that it?
379
00:23:26,898 --> 00:23:29,168
Well, yeah.
380
00:23:30,303 --> 00:23:31,538
Kind of.
381
00:23:32,571 --> 00:23:36,140
Look, the kid has
got nowhere to live.
382
00:23:36,142 --> 00:23:38,976
Do you know how
fucking scary that must be?
383
00:23:38,978 --> 00:23:41,946
I know. Wait, hey. Would you?
Hey, he can stay with you.
384
00:23:41,948 --> 00:23:44,315
- Would you like that?
- Listen, no. It's fine.
385
00:23:44,317 --> 00:23:47,617
I think... I think you're
doing a-a good job.
386
00:23:47,619 --> 00:23:50,189
Thanks for the fucking drink.
387
00:23:58,864 --> 00:24:02,632
We live in an age where there's
brand new gender issues, isn't there?
388
00:24:02,634 --> 00:24:04,301
And there's a lot
of genders going on
389
00:24:04,303 --> 00:24:06,069
and some people
get a little bit confused.
390
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:08,605
For instance,
I know a guy, alright,
391
00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:11,107
who used to be a guy
and she's now a girl.
392
00:24:11,109 --> 00:24:15,746
And now that she's a girl, she's a
lesbian, and some people might say,
393
00:24:15,748 --> 00:24:17,914
"I don't get that."
You know what?
394
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:21,384
I don't get that, but maybe it's
not for me to get, right?
395
00:24:21,386 --> 00:24:23,386
Maybe it's just not
for me to understand.
396
00:24:23,388 --> 00:24:26,856
But at the same, I reckon
give me a couple of years,
397
00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:29,626
and slowly but surely,
all the names
398
00:24:29,628 --> 00:24:32,363
for gender will
permeate my consciousness.
399
00:24:32,365 --> 00:24:34,632
But in the meantime,
can everyone else
400
00:24:34,634 --> 00:24:36,333
just calm the fuck down
401
00:24:36,335 --> 00:24:38,168
if I accidentally say trannie?
402
00:24:40,306 --> 00:24:41,971
Anyway, ladies and gentlemen,
403
00:24:41,973 --> 00:24:44,240
now for the main event
of the evening.
404
00:24:44,242 --> 00:24:46,809
Please stand your feet,
clap your hands,
405
00:24:46,811 --> 00:24:49,412
and welcome
all the way to the microphone.
406
00:24:49,414 --> 00:24:55,052
It's Jackie!
407
00:24:58,958 --> 00:25:02,062
Do you know what
a man's balanced diet is?
408
00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:04,862
A beer bottle in each hand.
409
00:25:05,998 --> 00:25:08,032
A man went into a candy shop,
410
00:25:08,034 --> 00:25:09,866
had to buy some condoms,
411
00:25:09,868 --> 00:25:11,000
and the cashier said,
412
00:25:11,002 --> 00:25:12,769
"Um, do you want a bag?"
413
00:25:12,771 --> 00:25:14,705
He said, "She's not that ugly."
414
00:25:16,008 --> 00:25:19,776
I do
love a dirty audience.
415
00:25:19,778 --> 00:25:22,345
Do you know
the difference between a hooker
416
00:25:22,347 --> 00:25:25,215
and-and-and
a drug dealer?
417
00:25:25,217 --> 00:25:28,384
Well,
a hooker can wash her crack
418
00:25:28,386 --> 00:25:29,385
and resell it.
419
00:25:31,723 --> 00:25:34,190
Oh, dear, oh dear. I'm so sorry.
420
00:25:34,192 --> 00:25:37,361
My boyfriend was so rough
with me last night.
421
00:25:38,864 --> 00:25:41,297
Do you know what the saggy boob
422
00:25:41,299 --> 00:25:44,735
said to the other saggy boob?
423
00:25:44,737 --> 00:25:46,103
If we don't get some support,
424
00:25:46,105 --> 00:25:47,738
people would think we're nuts.
425
00:25:54,180 --> 00:25:58,148
So, let me get this straight.
You haven't taken any of your pills?
426
00:25:58,150 --> 00:26:00,484
- No, I haven't taken any of my pills.
- Because you dropped them?
427
00:26:00,486 --> 00:26:03,187
- Yes, because I dropped them.
- In urine?
428
00:26:03,189 --> 00:26:05,091
Yes, I dropped
them in the urine.
429
00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:08,926
You know,
this isn't a joke, Mr. Collins.
430
00:26:08,928 --> 00:26:11,094
Those pills are
meant to ease your pain.
431
00:26:11,096 --> 00:26:13,229
You need to take them every day.
432
00:26:13,231 --> 00:26:15,833
You know,
last night can't happen again.
433
00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:19,469
Yeah, fine. Look, doc, just, you know,
write me another prescription for the pills
434
00:26:19,471 --> 00:26:21,074
and I'll-I'll be on my way.
435
00:26:23,108 --> 00:26:28,010
- So, you collapsed on stage?
- Yes, I collapsed on stage.
436
00:26:28,012 --> 00:26:30,780
- Was it hot on the stage?
- What... Of course, it was hot on stage.
437
00:26:30,782 --> 00:26:34,183
I mean, they've got lights and the
air conditioning hasn't worked since,
438
00:26:34,185 --> 00:26:36,286
I don't know, mid-90s.
439
00:26:36,288 --> 00:26:39,757
Look. I think you might
want to think about
440
00:26:39,759 --> 00:26:40,993
taking a back step.
441
00:26:42,193 --> 00:26:45,929
You mean giving up performing?
442
00:26:45,931 --> 00:26:47,230
It's not helping you.
443
00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:48,934
The stress, the conditions.
444
00:26:49,969 --> 00:26:53,402
At your age, you should be
living a more relaxed life.
445
00:26:53,404 --> 00:26:58,208
A more relaxed life? I'm dying,
for fuck's sake. How relaxed can you be?
446
00:26:58,210 --> 00:27:00,878
- I mean that's what's happening to me, isn't, it doctor?
- Yes.
447
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,847
And there's absolutely nothing you can do
about it. I mean, with all of your expertise
448
00:27:04,849 --> 00:27:07,985
and all the millions of pounds
they put in cancer research.
449
00:27:07,987 --> 00:27:11,087
I mean, none of that's
gonna stop me from dying, right?
450
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:15,793
- Yes, that's correct.
- So, if I'm dying and there's nothing anyone can do about it,
451
00:27:15,795 --> 00:27:19,062
I mean, you know, why should I
give up doing what I love?
452
00:27:19,064 --> 00:27:21,131
I mean, what is that
gonna do for me, doctor?
453
00:27:21,133 --> 00:27:23,333
Would it give me,
uh, one extra week,
454
00:27:23,335 --> 00:27:26,569
two extra weeks?
I mean, fucking wonderful.
455
00:27:26,571 --> 00:27:28,971
Dying is shit.
Did you know that?
456
00:27:28,973 --> 00:27:32,074
It is...
It fucking sucks, doctor.
457
00:27:32,076 --> 00:27:34,844
And look, if nothing
anybody can do about it
458
00:27:34,846 --> 00:27:36,313
and I'm going to die, right,
459
00:27:36,315 --> 00:27:38,047
well, I'm going to make certain
460
00:27:38,049 --> 00:27:41,450
that I'm going to
enjoy the last few weeks
461
00:27:41,452 --> 00:27:45,521
before leaving
this shitty, fucking planet.
462
00:27:45,523 --> 00:27:47,760
Is that alright
with you, doctor?
463
00:27:49,228 --> 00:27:50,960
Yes. That's okay.
464
00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:52,331
Good.
465
00:27:53,566 --> 00:27:54,768
Is he okay?
466
00:27:55,901 --> 00:27:57,334
Oh, yes. He'll be fine.
467
00:27:57,336 --> 00:27:58,401
He'll be fine.
468
00:28:01,906 --> 00:28:06,043
- Here, why don't you have a drink of whisky.
- No, thanks.
469
00:28:06,045 --> 00:28:09,179
Oh, come on.
It'll make a man of you.
470
00:28:09,181 --> 00:28:12,082
Okay, darling, I don't need
to be made a man of, but I'll try.
471
00:28:12,084 --> 00:28:13,182
Okay.
472
00:28:13,184 --> 00:28:14,220
Here you go.
473
00:28:15,253 --> 00:28:16,288
Drink up.
474
00:28:17,589 --> 00:28:18,521
Mm.
475
00:28:20,625 --> 00:28:22,127
I took you for a swallower.
476
00:28:23,496 --> 00:28:26,395
- How can you make jokes at a time like this?
- What do you mean?
477
00:28:26,397 --> 00:28:28,532
Well, look, you don't
even look like you give a shit.
478
00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:30,433
I know what
my face is looking like,
479
00:28:30,435 --> 00:28:33,135
but of course I give a shit,
of course I give a shit.
480
00:28:33,137 --> 00:28:34,872
I mean, who...
I don't want to die.
481
00:28:34,874 --> 00:28:39,042
Who the fuck wants
to die, eh? Hm?
482
00:28:39,044 --> 00:28:42,112
Well, look, they cure cancer all the
time, maybe they can still do something.
483
00:28:42,114 --> 00:28:43,479
Well, if they catch it
early enough.
484
00:28:43,481 --> 00:28:44,517
Have they?
485
00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:47,187
No, they never did.
486
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,355
What do we do now?
487
00:28:52,057 --> 00:28:53,590
Get pissed.
488
00:28:53,592 --> 00:28:55,926
Hm.
489
00:28:55,928 --> 00:28:58,264
- Got a bit on the chin there.
- Yeah, I know.
490
00:28:59,330 --> 00:29:02,332
- What about your daughter?
- What about her?
491
00:29:02,334 --> 00:29:06,169
Well, you're gonna have to
tell her that you're dying.
492
00:29:06,171 --> 00:29:09,171
Tell my daughter, who hates me,
493
00:29:09,173 --> 00:29:10,207
that I'm gonna die?
494
00:29:10,209 --> 00:29:11,307
Yes, absolutely.
495
00:29:13,945 --> 00:29:15,881
I wouldn't even
know where to find her.
496
00:29:16,615 --> 00:29:18,448
Facebook.
497
00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:20,854
What the fuck is Facebook?
498
00:29:37,269 --> 00:29:41,071
- Is this the first laptop ever invented?
- I bought it in a boot sale.
499
00:29:41,073 --> 00:29:43,006
- You bought a laptop at a car boot sale?
- I bought it in a boot sale.
500
00:29:43,008 --> 00:29:47,443
- Does it even have the Internet?
- What's the Internet? Come on.
501
00:29:47,445 --> 00:29:49,680
'Course I know what
the fucking Internet is.
502
00:29:49,682 --> 00:29:52,582
I mean, where's your sense of humor?
I'm the one who's dying.
503
00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:54,684
I'm not a
fucking caveman, you know.
504
00:29:54,686 --> 00:29:57,586
- Coming from the man who didn't know what Facebook is.
- Mm-hmm.
505
00:29:57,588 --> 00:29:59,655
Now, let me set
this profile up for you.
506
00:29:59,657 --> 00:30:01,458
- Do you want to set one up?
- Well, wh... why?
507
00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:03,196
I'm gonna be dead in a month.
508
00:30:05,663 --> 00:30:08,030
- Do you have to be so fucking blunt about it?
- I'm sorry. I really...
509
00:30:08,032 --> 00:30:09,399
You're not
gonna cry again, are you?
510
00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:11,234
Well, no. I'm just
a very emotional person.
511
00:30:11,236 --> 00:30:12,501
Okay, fine. Now, tell me,
512
00:30:12,503 --> 00:30:15,271
How... how do I find my daughter?
513
00:30:15,273 --> 00:30:16,440
What's her name?
514
00:30:16,442 --> 00:30:17,543
Lily Collins.
515
00:30:19,678 --> 00:30:22,045
Wait, so that means
that you're Jackie Collins?
516
00:30:22,047 --> 00:30:24,581
No, I'm Jack Collins.
Jack, well, you know...
517
00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:26,048
How am I only just
finding that out now?
518
00:30:26,050 --> 00:30:27,183
You've never asked me before.
519
00:30:27,185 --> 00:30:28,986
- Jack Collins.
- Jack.
520
00:30:28,988 --> 00:30:31,555
- Jack Collins.
- Jack. J-A-C-K.
521
00:30:31,557 --> 00:30:33,123
- Okay.
- Right.
522
00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:35,057
- Is this her?
- No, that's not her.
523
00:30:35,059 --> 00:30:36,258
There's quite a few left.
524
00:30:36,260 --> 00:30:37,594
No, no, I'm fine. Next.
525
00:30:37,596 --> 00:30:39,129
No, no, that's not her.
526
00:30:39,131 --> 00:30:40,934
No, whoa...
527
00:30:42,468 --> 00:30:43,503
Is it...
528
00:30:44,769 --> 00:30:46,105
That's my little girl.
529
00:30:50,174 --> 00:30:52,008
Should we send her
a message, then?
530
00:30:52,010 --> 00:30:53,442
An email perhaps,
you have email, right?
531
00:30:53,444 --> 00:30:55,545
I've got email,
yeah, I've got email.
532
00:30:55,547 --> 00:30:58,715
But tell me, a message.
But what... what...
533
00:30:58,717 --> 00:31:02,585
- I mean, what am I gonna say?
- Well, just invite her for a coffee or something.
534
00:31:02,587 --> 00:31:06,023
The last time I invited her for a cup of coffee,
she said she never wanted to see me again.
535
00:31:06,025 --> 00:31:08,725
- Yeah, because she was angry. You just apologize.
- Apologize?
536
00:31:08,727 --> 00:31:11,394
What do you mean apologize? It's
not gonna be easy just saying,
537
00:31:11,396 --> 00:31:14,264
"Oh, girl, I'm sorry." You know,
it's not gonna be that easy.
538
00:31:14,266 --> 00:31:16,432
Yeah, well, get on your hands
and knees and beg, Jackie.
539
00:31:16,434 --> 00:31:18,267
- This is your daughter we're talking about.
- Alright.
540
00:31:18,269 --> 00:31:19,736
- Alright?
- Yes. Okay.
541
00:31:19,738 --> 00:31:21,270
I've got to go to
the little girls room.
542
00:31:21,272 --> 00:31:22,572
- Okay, it's fine.
- I expect you to have
543
00:31:22,574 --> 00:31:25,508
- a full message written.
- I'm gonna do it.
544
00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:26,445
I'm going to do it.
545
00:31:28,047 --> 00:31:31,384
- Do it.
- I'm doing it. Can't you see I'm doing it?
546
00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:33,452
Fuck.
547
00:31:36,521 --> 00:31:40,559
Dearest Lily...
548
00:31:47,432 --> 00:31:49,234
I've got so much to say.
549
00:31:51,303 --> 00:31:53,406
I really don't
know how to begin.
550
00:31:55,840 --> 00:32:00,744
I... I know you hate me.
551
00:32:00,746 --> 00:32:05,118
I know you hate me.
552
00:32:10,489 --> 00:32:12,122
I really don't blame you.
553
00:32:12,124 --> 00:32:13,789
I'm...
554
00:32:13,791 --> 00:32:20,365
Oh, I made
the most terrible mistake.
555
00:32:21,432 --> 00:32:25,070
And I would really, um...
556
00:32:26,270 --> 00:32:29,773
I mean I'd love to, you know,
have a... a cup of coffee
557
00:32:29,775 --> 00:32:33,179
because um, I really miss you.
558
00:32:34,278 --> 00:32:37,817
Miss you, you.
559
00:32:39,617 --> 00:32:45,354
And I... I'm so sorry.
560
00:32:45,356 --> 00:32:48,594
I... made so many mistakes.
561
00:32:49,894 --> 00:32:51,297
I apologize.
562
00:32:57,502 --> 00:33:03,375
I miss you and I love you.
563
00:33:05,611 --> 00:33:07,643
I'm so sorry
I wasn't there for you.
564
00:33:07,645 --> 00:33:12,417
I'm so sorry I
wasn't there for you.
565
00:33:15,354 --> 00:33:17,657
I love you.
566
00:33:21,492 --> 00:33:22,528
Dad.
567
00:34:33,298 --> 00:34:36,434
Fucking elegant, Jesus.
568
00:36:11,663 --> 00:36:13,697
Thank you, darling.
569
00:36:13,699 --> 00:36:15,465
Thank you.
570
00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:16,836
Thank you very much.
571
00:36:17,869 --> 00:36:19,305
You look fabulous.
572
00:36:21,739 --> 00:36:25,541
So this is, um, this was
what was on your bucket list?
573
00:36:25,543 --> 00:36:31,113
Yeah, well, um,
I haven't seen a pair of
574
00:36:31,115 --> 00:36:35,485
breasts, you know,
for about 20 years, you know.
575
00:36:35,487 --> 00:36:36,822
Mm-hmm.
576
00:36:39,358 --> 00:36:43,092
I didn't even know these places
were open in the day, to be honest.
577
00:36:43,094 --> 00:36:44,763
No, neither did.
578
00:36:47,431 --> 00:36:49,599
You know,
they do toasted sandwiches here.
579
00:36:49,601 --> 00:36:51,934
- What?
- Do you fancy a toasted sandwich?
580
00:36:51,936 --> 00:36:54,970
Uh, yeah, I mean, why not?
581
00:36:54,972 --> 00:36:56,472
Great.
582
00:37:01,746 --> 00:37:04,046
Fucking hell.
583
00:37:04,048 --> 00:37:05,650
I know.
584
00:37:08,652 --> 00:37:10,519
You wanna dance with her?
585
00:37:10,521 --> 00:37:14,624
No, come on,
I'm too old to dance with her.
586
00:37:14,626 --> 00:37:17,126
No, you idiot,
she dances for you.
587
00:37:17,128 --> 00:37:18,827
What?
588
00:37:18,829 --> 00:37:20,662
You do nothing.
Come on, let me treat you.
589
00:37:20,664 --> 00:37:23,932
No, no, really,
no, really. No. No.
590
00:37:23,934 --> 00:37:26,403
I mean,
I wouldn't know what to do.
591
00:37:26,405 --> 00:37:27,637
You literally do nothing.
592
00:37:27,639 --> 00:37:29,139
Stop being a testicle?
593
00:37:29,141 --> 00:37:30,639
I'm not...
594
00:37:30,641 --> 00:37:31,976
Now, which one do you fancy?
595
00:37:37,081 --> 00:37:38,782
How long have you
been doing this?
596
00:37:38,784 --> 00:37:39,885
Nearly a year.
597
00:37:40,952 --> 00:37:43,519
Do you... do you like it?
598
00:37:43,521 --> 00:37:45,588
- It's alright.
- Uh-huh.
599
00:37:45,590 --> 00:37:47,423
To meet some interesting people.
600
00:37:47,425 --> 00:37:49,892
Um, listen, you
really don't have to do this.
601
00:37:49,894 --> 00:37:52,028
I mean, I can tell my friend that
you did if you don't want to.
602
00:37:52,030 --> 00:37:53,496
You don't want me
to dance for you?
603
00:37:53,498 --> 00:37:56,432
Well, well, yes, I do, but,
604
00:37:56,434 --> 00:37:59,572
you see, I'm, I'm very old now.
And, um, and listen, kid,
605
00:38:01,206 --> 00:38:03,539
- I could be your grandfather.
- You're serious, aren't you?
606
00:38:03,541 --> 00:38:05,777
Yeah, I don't want
weird about it.
607
00:38:06,945 --> 00:38:08,748
Just sit back, okay?
608
00:38:12,050 --> 00:38:15,621
I don't want you to feel
like you have to do this. You...
609
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,693
What's a handsome man
like you doing in
610
00:38:23,695 --> 00:38:25,728
a strip club
at three in the afternoon?
611
00:38:25,730 --> 00:38:28,597
Well, I really didn't
have anywhere else to go.
612
00:38:28,599 --> 00:38:32,501
Oh, well, you know how
to make a girl feel special.
613
00:38:32,503 --> 00:38:35,505
- Oh, no. Sorry. No, I didn't mean that.
- I'm fucking with you.
614
00:38:35,507 --> 00:38:40,543
It's just, um, it... it's
that I haven't, you know, seen,
615
00:38:40,545 --> 00:38:45,215
I mean, really,
seen a woman for 20 years.
616
00:38:45,217 --> 00:38:49,519
And, you know, when you get an
old man like me, you know, look at
617
00:38:49,521 --> 00:38:52,722
girls and people think you're like
a, you know, a dirty old man.
618
00:38:52,724 --> 00:38:56,258
Some sort of awful pervert
or something like that.
619
00:38:56,260 --> 00:39:00,563
And, you know, mind you,
I could be something back in the '60s.
620
00:39:00,565 --> 00:39:03,532
Do you know, I-I was really...
A lot of people thought
621
00:39:03,534 --> 00:39:05,901
I was, you know,
and sort of that desirable.
622
00:39:05,903 --> 00:39:08,670
I bet you used to get
all the girls back in the day.
623
00:39:08,672 --> 00:39:12,677
Well, there was really only one.
624
00:39:13,711 --> 00:39:15,811
We were high school sweethearts.
625
00:39:15,813 --> 00:39:18,113
Aw, cute.
How long were you together?
626
00:39:18,115 --> 00:39:20,083
- 54 years.
- Fuck off.
627
00:39:20,085 --> 00:39:22,117
Yes. Yeah.
628
00:39:22,119 --> 00:39:25,021
Um, you haven't got a fella?
629
00:39:25,023 --> 00:39:27,824
I'm not really into boys,
if you know what I mean.
630
00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:30,193
- What do you mean boys?
- I prefer women.
631
00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:32,929
Oh, you do? Oh, that's fine.
Oh, good on you. That's fine.
632
00:39:32,931 --> 00:39:34,633
I don't mind...
That's good. Good.
633
00:39:35,934 --> 00:39:41,240
So... what do you think?
634
00:39:42,673 --> 00:39:44,007
Amazing.
635
00:39:44,009 --> 00:39:47,776
Thank you. Give me your hand.
636
00:39:47,778 --> 00:39:49,612
No, don't, really,
really, don't, no, no.
637
00:39:49,614 --> 00:39:51,717
- Give me your hand, it's grand.
- They're cold.
638
00:39:55,019 --> 00:39:56,318
You have very soft hands.
639
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,186
Thank you.
640
00:39:58,188 --> 00:39:59,491
I moisturize.
641
00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:02,624
I don't even know your name.
642
00:40:02,626 --> 00:40:03,661
Jack.
643
00:40:04,762 --> 00:40:09,298
Well, Jack, it's been
a pleasure to dance for you.
644
00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:12,101
- Thank you, it has.
- Come and see me again some time.
645
00:40:12,103 --> 00:40:16,738
Oh, yeah, definitely. Listen,
please, oh, wait a minute.
646
00:40:16,740 --> 00:40:20,142
- Oh, no, it's okay.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, really, really, look, please,
647
00:40:20,144 --> 00:40:23,679
I-I really,
I really want you to take it.
648
00:40:23,681 --> 00:40:25,213
- No, you really don't have to.
- No, no, thank you, no,
649
00:40:25,215 --> 00:40:27,316
you know, for the nice talk.
650
00:40:27,318 --> 00:40:29,117
I loved it.
651
00:40:29,119 --> 00:40:30,121
Thank you.
652
00:40:35,193 --> 00:40:37,025
- Hey, hold on, big boy.
- Mh.
653
00:40:37,027 --> 00:40:38,894
- Hold this for me a second.
- Yeah.
654
00:40:38,896 --> 00:40:39,996
Hold this.
655
00:40:39,998 --> 00:40:41,200
Oh, right.
656
00:40:45,603 --> 00:40:47,135
Thank you. I'll have that back.
657
00:40:47,137 --> 00:40:50,072
- Oh, yeah.
- How was it?
658
00:40:50,074 --> 00:40:51,210
Spectacular.
659
00:40:52,277 --> 00:40:54,077
I mean, she was cute.
660
00:40:54,079 --> 00:40:56,144
If I was straight,
I'd totally ask her to
661
00:40:56,146 --> 00:40:57,780
sit in the back
of the cinema with me.
662
00:40:57,782 --> 00:41:00,617
What about you?
663
00:41:00,619 --> 00:41:01,950
What about me?
664
00:41:01,952 --> 00:41:06,623
- You know, you got a fella?
- No.
665
00:41:06,625 --> 00:41:10,628
I mean, there was this one boy,
but, um, didn't work out.
666
00:41:12,831 --> 00:41:13,865
Why?
667
00:41:16,201 --> 00:41:18,934
I suppose I loved him
more than he loved me.
668
00:41:18,936 --> 00:41:21,269
- It's a very complex thing, love.
- Mm.
669
00:41:21,271 --> 00:41:23,942
Sometimes I wonder why
we only have one word for it.
670
00:41:25,010 --> 00:41:26,909
Do you ever speak with him?
671
00:41:26,911 --> 00:41:29,811
- No, nothing left to say.
- Mm-hmm.
672
00:41:29,813 --> 00:41:33,217
Plus, I'm not the first person
to have my heart broken.
673
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,987
Fucking no. It's depressing enough as it is.
674
00:41:38,989 --> 00:41:40,822
Come on,
what else do you wanna do?
675
00:41:40,824 --> 00:41:45,128
Well, there is... there is
something I'd like to do.
676
00:41:45,130 --> 00:41:48,264
So, listen, I'll see you tonight
at the club? Alright?
677
00:41:48,266 --> 00:41:49,934
Sure, yeah, no problem.
678
00:42:37,981 --> 00:42:42,818
Well, um, where to begin?
679
00:42:42,820 --> 00:42:45,921
Oh, yes, I went to a...
a strip club today.
680
00:42:45,923 --> 00:42:48,925
I met this lovely girl.
681
00:42:48,927 --> 00:42:49,961
Oh, no.
682
00:42:50,929 --> 00:42:52,197
Nothing like that.
683
00:42:53,231 --> 00:42:56,199
She showed me her breasts,
they were amazing.
684
00:42:56,201 --> 00:43:00,271
I mean just like... Well, actually,
yours were nicer, they were.
685
00:43:02,273 --> 00:43:06,010
Well, um, how've you been?
686
00:43:07,512 --> 00:43:11,780
I'm sorry I haven't
really been around too often.
687
00:43:11,782 --> 00:43:15,284
Because I didn't think
you really wanted me to
688
00:43:15,286 --> 00:43:20,291
and I still...
Still don't think you do.
689
00:43:22,427 --> 00:43:26,862
Well, um,
I have a bit of bad news.
690
00:43:26,864 --> 00:43:33,135
You see, I'm dying.
691
00:43:33,137 --> 00:43:34,405
I'm dying real quick.
692
00:43:35,974 --> 00:43:40,275
So, I'll be
seeing you real soon.
693
00:43:40,277 --> 00:43:43,179
I... I don't know
how you feel about that
694
00:43:43,181 --> 00:43:50,088
because... I'm a little
nervous my... myself.
695
00:43:52,556 --> 00:43:55,258
And anyway I...
I really wanted to come
696
00:43:55,260 --> 00:44:00,299
and tell you and, um,
ask you a favor.
697
00:44:02,967 --> 00:44:09,508
See, when I come up there,
um, please don't shout at me.
698
00:44:10,974 --> 00:44:17,280
Because, um,
I don't think I could
699
00:44:17,282 --> 00:44:22,385
stand for that all eternity
700
00:44:22,387 --> 00:44:26,158
because I know you...
You hate me.
701
00:44:27,391 --> 00:44:31,797
But I never... I never
really wanted you to know.
702
00:44:35,132 --> 00:44:37,168
I'm so sorry
I wasn't at the funeral.
703
00:44:39,971 --> 00:44:45,443
I really wanted to be, but how
could I be when you didn't want me.
704
00:44:46,610 --> 00:44:53,851
I... loved you too much to,
you know, hurt you again.
705
00:44:56,621 --> 00:45:02,827
I've never...
I've never stopped loving you.
706
00:45:06,431 --> 00:45:08,300
I really should be going.
707
00:45:16,974 --> 00:45:19,577
I am so terribly sorry.
708
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:29,254
Well, see you real soon.
709
00:45:33,090 --> 00:45:34,492
Yeah.
710
00:45:40,498 --> 00:45:43,298
- I'll fucking kill you.
- I'd like to see you try, baby.
711
00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:46,334
- Fuck this...
- Ever since I came
712
00:45:46,336 --> 00:45:48,237
to this club, you've been
trying to take my shit.
713
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,574
- Get the fuck off me.
- I'm gonna fucking kill you.
714
00:45:51,576 --> 00:45:53,541
- You fucking piece of shit.
- What the fuck is going on here?
715
00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:55,211
- This bitch is trying
to steal my fucking style.
716
00:45:55,213 --> 00:45:56,345
It's just a coincidence.
717
00:45:56,347 --> 00:45:57,979
Beyoncรฉ here decides
718
00:45:57,981 --> 00:46:00,148
- to lose her shit about it.
- Fuck you.
719
00:46:00,150 --> 00:46:03,184
- You're just jealous of my ass.
- Bitch, please.
720
00:46:03,186 --> 00:46:07,956
Look, would you just fuck...
Get the fuck out of here.
721
00:46:07,958 --> 00:46:09,624
Just go.
722
00:46:09,626 --> 00:46:12,327
Jesus, what are you doing?
723
00:46:12,329 --> 00:46:15,664
- That little shit is just wearing my makeup.
- He's just a kid.
724
00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:19,001
He's 21. He knows
not to be a little cunt.
725
00:46:19,003 --> 00:46:22,470
- Oh, you, you are just jealous.
- What are you talking about?
726
00:46:22,472 --> 00:46:25,041
Well, actually what I'm
talking about, you're nearly 50.
727
00:46:25,043 --> 00:46:27,208
No matter how much
you pull yourself in.
728
00:46:27,210 --> 00:46:30,079
No matter how many dresses you
wear, you're still gonna look
729
00:46:30,081 --> 00:46:33,048
older than him and he's still
gonna look younger than you.
730
00:46:33,050 --> 00:46:36,084
I'm like a fine wine, darling.
I get better with age.
731
00:46:36,086 --> 00:46:37,552
Yes, of course,
and some of the greatest wines
732
00:46:37,554 --> 00:46:39,588
- I ever drunk were old.
- Exactly.
733
00:46:39,590 --> 00:46:42,661
But then I thought to myself,
"They're not fucking worth it."
734
00:46:51,068 --> 00:46:53,568
- Are you alright?
- Who the fuck does she think she is?
735
00:46:53,570 --> 00:46:55,570
- I mean, what is going on?
- What do you mean?
736
00:46:55,572 --> 00:46:58,541
What do I mean?
You had Mollie on the floor.
737
00:46:58,543 --> 00:47:00,543
You were beating
the living shit out of her.
738
00:47:00,545 --> 00:47:01,711
What do you want to say, Jackie?
739
00:47:01,713 --> 00:47:03,311
I want you to tell me the truth.
740
00:47:03,313 --> 00:47:04,612
- Do you want the truth?
- Yes, I do.
741
00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,182
The fuck all, alright?
742
00:47:06,184 --> 00:47:08,249
The fuck, I'm singing
for ยฃ40 a night,
743
00:47:08,251 --> 00:47:09,617
I'm sleeping
on your fucking sofa.
744
00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:11,586
My dad hates me.
745
00:47:11,588 --> 00:47:14,023
I broke my favorite
pair of fucking heels today.
746
00:47:14,025 --> 00:47:15,758
I don't have much,
but I've got style.
747
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,594
So when someone tries to take
it from me, it pisses me off.
748
00:47:18,596 --> 00:47:20,229
You've always got me, Faith.
749
00:47:20,231 --> 00:47:21,500
Yeah, not for much longer.
750
00:47:23,701 --> 00:47:25,066
Okay, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean that.
751
00:47:25,068 --> 00:47:27,536
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
752
00:47:27,538 --> 00:47:29,604
Oh, yes you did.
753
00:47:29,606 --> 00:47:30,641
Jackie.
754
00:47:35,079 --> 00:47:36,378
Fuck.
755
00:51:41,458 --> 00:51:42,492
Hi.
756
00:51:46,364 --> 00:51:47,398
Hi.
757
00:51:48,632 --> 00:51:49,667
What are you doing?
758
00:51:51,268 --> 00:51:52,937
I'm having
a cheeky fag before work.
759
00:51:54,739 --> 00:51:56,608
why didn't you
come home last night?
760
00:51:58,376 --> 00:52:00,909
Uh, I didn't
think you wanted me to.
761
00:52:00,911 --> 00:52:04,516
What are
you talking about?
762
00:52:05,449 --> 00:52:08,483
You know, after what I said.
763
00:52:08,485 --> 00:52:10,989
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
764
00:52:12,389 --> 00:52:16,525
Listen, I'm not your dad,
you know that.
765
00:52:16,527 --> 00:52:18,929
Look, you've always
got a home with me, really.
766
00:52:24,635 --> 00:52:25,870
Thank you, Jackie.
767
00:52:27,304 --> 00:52:31,005
You better have a shower, do you
know I can smell you right from here?
768
00:52:45,088 --> 00:52:47,625
So, do you have anything else
on your bucket list?
769
00:52:48,525 --> 00:52:51,730
Yes, yes, there is something.
770
00:53:05,509 --> 00:53:06,909
So, this is the place?
771
00:53:06,911 --> 00:53:08,380
Yeah, looks like it.
772
00:53:10,581 --> 00:53:12,514
Do you want us to
go in together?
773
00:53:12,516 --> 00:53:13,816
Well, of course
we're gonna go in together.
774
00:53:13,818 --> 00:53:16,751
Okay, well, do I look good?
775
00:53:16,753 --> 00:53:18,653
Yes, you look good. What?
776
00:53:18,655 --> 00:53:22,124
What the fuck, it's just a
drug dealer for, Christ's sake.
777
00:53:22,126 --> 00:53:24,496
- And?
- You look lovely.
778
00:53:25,795 --> 00:53:26,830
Come on.
779
00:53:40,010 --> 00:53:41,142
Come on, Faith.
780
00:53:41,144 --> 00:53:42,845
Give me a
781
00:54:01,398 --> 00:54:03,164
You're, uh, Daryl?
782
00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:04,932
Yeah.
783
00:54:04,934 --> 00:54:06,501
This is Bianca.
784
00:54:06,503 --> 00:54:08,436
Very pleased to
meet you, Bianca.
785
00:54:08,438 --> 00:54:09,606
She's sleeping.
786
00:54:12,108 --> 00:54:13,941
What is it you want?
787
00:54:13,943 --> 00:54:16,979
Um, Alex gave me your address
and he said that he would
788
00:54:16,981 --> 00:54:20,081
text you, or call you and say
that we were gonna pop by.
789
00:54:20,083 --> 00:54:21,182
I didn't get a text.
790
00:54:21,184 --> 00:54:22,085
You didn't get a text?
791
00:54:23,987 --> 00:54:26,655
- This is not gonna be very good.
- I told you.
792
00:54:26,657 --> 00:54:27,992
It's fucking one in the morning.
793
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,128
You're a guy, right?
794
00:54:33,664 --> 00:54:36,532
It depends what
your definition of a guy is.
795
00:54:36,534 --> 00:54:37,602
Well, you got a cock.
796
00:54:38,635 --> 00:54:40,202
Yes, I do, yeah.
797
00:54:40,204 --> 00:54:41,539
So, you're a guy then?
798
00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:44,206
I mean, it's a little
more complicated than that,
799
00:54:44,208 --> 00:54:48,610
but it's late,
so I'd agree to disagree.
800
00:54:48,612 --> 00:54:50,115
Disagree that you've got a cock?
801
00:54:51,614 --> 00:54:53,548
Disagree that
that's what makes me a man.
802
00:54:53,550 --> 00:54:56,952
Well, I don't get it, guys got
cocks, women have got pussies.
803
00:54:56,954 --> 00:54:59,854
Simple as that, ain't it, mate?
What about you?
804
00:54:59,856 --> 00:55:01,690
- I think we ought to be going.
- I think so too.
805
00:55:01,692 --> 00:55:03,224
No, no, no. stay there.
806
00:55:03,226 --> 00:55:06,061
- You got money, right?
- Yes, I have, yeah.
807
00:55:06,063 --> 00:55:07,095
Let's do a bit of business.
808
00:55:07,097 --> 00:55:08,530
What is it you want?
809
00:55:08,532 --> 00:55:11,467
Um, what have you got?
810
00:55:11,469 --> 00:55:12,568
She's in a candy shop.
811
00:55:12,570 --> 00:55:13,905
I'm not your sugar daddy.
812
00:55:15,539 --> 00:55:16,505
Doesn't make any sense.
813
00:55:16,507 --> 00:55:17,575
The fuck did you say?
814
00:55:19,043 --> 00:55:19,974
Uh, nothing.
815
00:55:19,976 --> 00:55:21,776
You have coke?
816
00:55:21,778 --> 00:55:23,177
Of course I've got coke.
817
00:55:23,179 --> 00:55:24,179
Yes.
818
00:55:24,181 --> 00:55:25,483
How much do you want?
819
00:55:26,884 --> 00:55:29,885
Um, how much
do people usually take?
820
00:55:29,887 --> 00:55:30,885
Of cocaine?
821
00:55:30,887 --> 00:55:31,956
Yes, of cocaine.
822
00:55:32,956 --> 00:55:34,092
Is it just for tonight?
823
00:55:35,592 --> 00:55:38,126
It was just for
a one-off thing.
824
00:55:38,128 --> 00:55:41,796
- Okay, well, a gram should do you.
- Ok, yeah, fine. Gram.
825
00:55:41,798 --> 00:55:43,865
Alright.
826
00:55:43,867 --> 00:55:45,501
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. No, sure, I'm fine.
827
00:55:45,503 --> 00:55:47,202
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
828
00:55:47,204 --> 00:55:48,807
That will be 90.
829
00:55:50,974 --> 00:55:51,907
Pounds?
830
00:55:51,909 --> 00:55:53,845
Yes, pounds.
831
00:55:55,112 --> 00:55:57,045
Lot of difference from the '60s.
832
00:55:57,047 --> 00:55:59,081
Got off a bit since then. Yeah.
833
00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:00,452
Okay, 90.
834
00:56:14,565 --> 00:56:15,733
I'm a little bit short.
835
00:56:16,733 --> 00:56:18,233
You've got a fiver?
836
00:56:18,235 --> 00:56:20,601
You're not serious, are you?
837
00:56:20,603 --> 00:56:21,603
Oy!
838
00:56:21,605 --> 00:56:23,804
- 20, 30...
- Oy!
839
00:56:23,806 --> 00:56:26,675
- Excuse me, I'm counting.
- It's not a fairground. I don't take coppers.
840
00:56:26,677 --> 00:56:29,577
We didn't know it was
gonna be, you know, this much.
841
00:56:29,579 --> 00:56:32,213
Just fuck off out of my flat.
Just get out.
842
00:56:32,215 --> 00:56:35,550
Look. Can I give you 85
for half a gram?
843
00:56:35,552 --> 00:56:36,621
Is that alright?
844
00:56:38,856 --> 00:56:41,088
Yes, just give us that money.
Come on. Come on.
845
00:56:41,090 --> 00:56:43,057
- Give us it.
- Thank you very much.
846
00:56:43,059 --> 00:56:44,992
There you go now, bugger off.
847
00:56:44,994 --> 00:56:46,795
Thank you very much. Sorry.
848
00:56:46,797 --> 00:56:50,164
And you, twinkle tits, piss off.
849
00:56:50,166 --> 00:56:51,668
That's a lovely jacket, really.
850
00:56:56,673 --> 00:56:59,277
Kim, fruit case, uh, see that?
851
00:57:00,811 --> 00:57:05,280
Confusing. Fuck it.
852
00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:39,804
Bloody thing.
853
01:00:06,764 --> 01:00:08,362
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
854
01:00:08,364 --> 01:00:13,802
It's okay, it's okay.
855
01:00:13,804 --> 01:00:16,905
It's okay, it's okay.
856
01:00:16,907 --> 01:00:17,875
It's okay.
857
01:00:22,179 --> 01:00:24,347
It's okay.
858
01:00:31,088 --> 01:00:32,390
It's okay.
859
01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:36,259
- I have a question.
- Yeah.
860
01:00:38,362 --> 01:00:41,095
When did you first
start wearing women's clothes?
861
01:00:41,097 --> 01:00:42,333
When did I start?
862
01:00:43,833 --> 01:00:45,467
Well, when did I start?
863
01:00:45,469 --> 01:00:47,505
I'm stupid for doing it.
864
01:00:49,039 --> 01:00:53,111
Must be... must be
near on 50 years now.
865
01:00:55,045 --> 01:00:56,510
Why?
866
01:00:56,512 --> 01:01:02,583
Why? Why?
867
01:01:02,585 --> 01:01:07,057
Makes me feel
a different person.
868
01:01:09,393 --> 01:01:11,559
- Different?
- Mm-hmm.
869
01:01:11,561 --> 01:01:14,028
And so you just
kept it a secret.
870
01:01:14,030 --> 01:01:17,434
I just preferred
not to tell anybody.
871
01:01:18,402 --> 01:01:22,336
- So then why did you tell your wife?
- I didn't.
872
01:01:22,338 --> 01:01:25,240
She came home early one day
873
01:01:25,242 --> 01:01:29,543
and she saw me
dancing to Tom Jones.
874
01:01:29,545 --> 01:01:31,313
So?
875
01:01:31,315 --> 01:01:33,315
Wearing her wedding dress.
876
01:01:33,317 --> 01:01:35,349
No, it's not funny.
877
01:01:35,351 --> 01:01:37,586
- Fuck.
- Yeah, fuck.
878
01:01:37,588 --> 01:01:40,588
I must say that you do make
a very attractive woman, Jackie.
879
01:01:40,590 --> 01:01:44,996
Oh, for Christ's sake, don't...
Fuck off, Jesus Christ.
880
01:01:46,963 --> 01:01:49,965
I'm gonna get out of the fucking
bath, I got enough wrinkles.
881
01:01:49,967 --> 01:01:51,199
Yes, you do.
882
01:03:04,407 --> 01:03:06,608
You have really pretty nails.
883
01:03:06,610 --> 01:03:08,309
Do I?
884
01:03:08,311 --> 01:03:11,679
Oh, thank you,
thank you very much.
885
01:03:11,681 --> 01:03:16,351
My mom said I'm not allowed
to pick nails until I'm older.
886
01:03:16,353 --> 01:03:22,257
But you know something? I think... I think
your mommy is a very, very wise lady.
887
01:03:22,259 --> 01:03:23,958
- She is.
- Yes.
888
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:25,726
It's okay, though,
it's my birthday soon.
889
01:03:25,728 --> 01:03:27,195
Is it your birthday?
890
01:03:27,197 --> 01:03:29,030
Yes, and I'm turning six.
891
01:03:29,032 --> 01:03:31,499
Wow, six.
892
01:03:31,501 --> 01:03:32,637
How old are you?
893
01:03:34,204 --> 01:03:36,070
How old do you think I am?
894
01:03:36,072 --> 01:03:37,574
Old, like 20.
895
01:03:38,742 --> 01:03:41,041
- That's near enough.
- Rosie.
896
01:03:41,043 --> 01:03:44,713
Rosie, what have I told you
about running away like that?
897
01:03:44,715 --> 01:03:47,315
- No, it's really...
- Sorry, mommy.
898
01:03:47,317 --> 01:03:50,318
It's really alright, she's a...
She's a lovely little girl.
899
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:54,521
- Thank you. Has she been bothering you?
- No, no, no, she's been lovely.
900
01:03:54,523 --> 01:03:56,191
- Say goodbye, Rosie.
- Bye.
901
01:03:56,193 --> 01:03:58,126
Bye, bye, Rosie,
very nice meeting you.
902
01:03:58,128 --> 01:04:00,264
- Bye.
- Bye, bye.
903
01:04:04,001 --> 01:04:08,737
What...
what is all this?
904
01:04:08,739 --> 01:04:12,474
- Surprise.
- Did you cook this?
905
01:04:12,476 --> 01:04:16,677
Yes, uh, well, when
I cooked this from a distance.
906
01:04:16,679 --> 01:04:19,613
It was in this recipe book.
Please take a seat.
907
01:04:19,615 --> 01:04:55,077
Oh. Thank you.
908
01:04:55,079 --> 01:04:56,579
You haven't tried it yet,
it could be shit.
909
01:04:56,581 --> 01:05:01,988
No, I'm saying
thank you... for everything.
910
01:05:03,755 --> 01:05:09,762
You know, if, um, if I had a son,
I'd want him to be exactly like you.
911
01:05:13,398 --> 01:05:16,599
You know, that's, um,
a really lovely thing to say.
912
01:05:16,601 --> 01:05:21,104
You're like the cross-dressing
granddad I always wanted.
913
01:05:21,106 --> 01:05:23,205
- Really?
- Mmh.
914
01:05:23,207 --> 01:05:25,508
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
915
01:05:25,510 --> 01:05:29,778
- Oh, and eye contact, otherwise it's seven years of bad sex.
- Seven years?
916
01:05:29,780 --> 01:05:31,747
I don't think
I have to worry about that.
917
01:05:31,749 --> 01:05:33,485
Fuck you, I was
talking about me.
918
01:05:36,787 --> 01:05:38,120
Alright, then, go on, try it.
919
01:05:38,122 --> 01:05:39,157
Mm.
920
01:05:48,332 --> 01:05:50,834
Mm. Would you try
and get a takeaway?
921
01:05:50,836 --> 01:05:52,734
- Mm.
- Yeah?
922
01:05:52,736 --> 01:05:54,771
Oh, yeah. Finish up.
923
01:05:54,773 --> 01:05:58,508
Do you know why
God created orgasms?
924
01:05:58,510 --> 01:06:02,680
So that women could moan
even when they're having fun.
925
01:06:03,682 --> 01:06:06,316
There was this old lady
and she went in to the dentist,
926
01:06:06,318 --> 01:06:09,218
waited her turn, she went
inside, took her knickers off,
927
01:06:09,220 --> 01:06:11,620
sat in the chair,
lifted her legs up high.
928
01:06:11,622 --> 01:06:16,792
And the dentist said, "Excuse me,
madam, I'm not a gynecologist."
929
01:06:16,794 --> 01:06:19,329
And the old lady said,
"I know, I just
930
01:06:19,331 --> 01:06:21,363
want you to remove
my husband's teeth."
931
01:06:22,566 --> 01:06:25,200
Is that too much, is it? Oh.
932
01:06:25,202 --> 01:06:28,271
Well, there's this
young man, and he took a big
933
01:06:28,273 --> 01:06:30,472
bouquet of flowers
back to his girlfriend.
934
01:06:30,474 --> 01:06:35,311
The girlfriend said, "Uh,
I suppose I've got to open my legs now."
935
01:06:35,313 --> 01:06:37,713
He said,
"Why, don't we have a vase?"
936
01:06:39,751 --> 01:06:41,818
'Cause the airplane was
crashing, the girl got up
937
01:06:41,820 --> 01:06:45,521
and screamed, she said,
"Oh, I'm gonna die."
938
01:06:45,523 --> 01:06:47,323
So she stripped
herself naked, she said,
939
01:06:47,325 --> 01:06:51,260
"If I'm gonna die,
I want to feel like a woman.
940
01:06:51,262 --> 01:06:55,365
Is there any man here who can
make me feel like a woman?"
941
01:06:55,367 --> 01:06:59,138
So a man stood up, ripped off his shirt,
threw it at her and said, "Here, wash that."
942
01:07:00,204 --> 01:07:07,410
I said to my father, I said, "Oh,
I'm so tired of running around in circles."
943
01:07:07,412 --> 01:07:09,682
So he nailed
my other foot to the floor.
944
01:07:10,682 --> 01:07:13,519
I used to be
a very good father, oh, yes.
945
01:07:16,387 --> 01:07:21,490
And I... I sang
to my little girl every night.
946
01:07:21,492 --> 01:07:24,260
I told her little stories.
947
01:07:24,262 --> 01:07:28,263
Christmas time,
I'd dress up as Father Christmas
948
01:07:28,265 --> 01:07:31,968
and then she'd leave little
mince pies by the fireplace
949
01:07:31,970 --> 01:07:35,207
for when Father Christmas
came down to eat.
950
01:07:36,374 --> 01:07:37,676
Fuck, they were stale.
951
01:07:38,809 --> 01:07:40,345
And then I used to dream.
952
01:07:41,378 --> 01:07:44,849
I used to dream
wonderful dreams for her.
953
01:07:46,351 --> 01:07:48,584
And that's the way
it should have been.
954
01:07:48,586 --> 01:07:50,822
Oh, but dear, I did fuck up.
955
01:07:51,990 --> 01:07:57,463
And so I haven't seen my little
girl for, ooh... 10 years.
956
01:07:58,563 --> 01:08:02,398
So one day, you know,
I'm going to solve my problem,
957
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:07,338
but tonight
it's got to be through whisky.
958
01:08:24,990 --> 01:08:26,888
You were very funny tonight.
959
01:08:26,890 --> 01:08:29,727
Thank you.
960
01:08:33,530 --> 01:08:38,968
Wow, uh, you look...
You look really... great.
961
01:08:38,970 --> 01:08:40,669
Thank you.
962
01:08:40,671 --> 01:08:41,706
So do you.
963
01:08:43,508 --> 01:08:44,977
Well, I'm a bit old, you know.
964
01:08:46,477 --> 01:08:48,278
I think it suits you.
965
01:08:48,280 --> 01:08:49,314
Thank you.
966
01:08:50,515 --> 01:08:52,985
How many more times do you think
we're gonna say thank you?
967
01:08:54,285 --> 01:08:59,955
I, um, I thought you never
wanted to speak to me again.
968
01:08:59,957 --> 01:09:01,226
No, I didn't.
969
01:09:02,593 --> 01:09:04,396
What changed your mind?
970
01:09:05,729 --> 01:09:07,233
I found a little Faith.
971
01:09:08,332 --> 01:09:11,334
What did he say?
972
01:09:11,336 --> 01:09:14,336
Well, he... he told me everything
that you've done for him,
973
01:09:14,338 --> 01:09:15,807
which is pretty amazing.
974
01:09:17,308 --> 01:09:20,575
And, um... And he told me that you
were ill. I hope it's nothing serious.
975
01:09:20,577 --> 01:09:24,446
No, no, no,
just a bit of a cough.
976
01:09:24,448 --> 01:09:26,748
- Nothing serious at all.
- So you've been to a doctor?
977
01:09:26,750 --> 01:09:30,552
Oh, yes, I've been to the...
yeah, but I don't like making a fuss.
978
01:09:30,554 --> 01:09:31,856
You love to make a fuss.
979
01:09:33,590 --> 01:09:34,727
Only around you.
980
01:09:43,067 --> 01:09:44,066
Got a question.
981
01:09:44,068 --> 01:09:45,303
Mm-hmm.
982
01:09:46,571 --> 01:09:49,038
- Where do you buy all your clothes?
- Where I buy my clothes?
983
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:54,543
Yeah, well, I mean, you know,
you're quite a big guy. I mean tall. Tall.
984
01:09:54,545 --> 01:09:57,779
- Yes, 5'10.
- You know what I mean.
985
01:09:57,781 --> 01:10:02,854
Yeah, but, you know, they do... they have
shops for fat women as well, you know.
986
01:10:06,357 --> 01:10:07,724
So what about you?
987
01:10:07,726 --> 01:10:09,728
I mean, what's, um, what's new?
988
01:10:11,429 --> 01:10:13,532
Uh, well, I'm an architect.
989
01:10:14,531 --> 01:10:17,800
You're an arch... Really?
990
01:10:17,802 --> 01:10:18,836
Wow.
991
01:10:19,937 --> 01:10:22,471
Yeah, I'm living up in London.
992
01:10:22,473 --> 01:10:24,740
I won't hold that against you.
993
01:10:24,742 --> 01:10:29,544
- Got a dog and...
- Oh, wait, what is this? What...
994
01:10:29,546 --> 01:10:30,712
Oh, yeah,
and I'm getting married.
995
01:10:30,714 --> 01:10:32,648
You're getting married?
996
01:10:32,650 --> 01:10:35,685
Oh, god! Congratulations.
997
01:10:35,687 --> 01:10:37,453
Thank you.
998
01:10:37,455 --> 01:10:40,455
Um, has he got a name?
999
01:10:40,457 --> 01:10:44,429
- Mark.
- Mark, beautiful name.
1000
01:10:45,429 --> 01:10:47,633
Have you... have you set a date?
1001
01:10:48,532 --> 01:10:49,934
Yeah, it's in a month.
1002
01:10:50,835 --> 01:10:51,870
In a month.
1003
01:10:52,970 --> 01:10:54,005
What about you, dad?
1004
01:10:55,005 --> 01:10:56,605
Anyone special in your life?
1005
01:10:56,607 --> 01:10:58,841
- What do you mean? Like a lady?
- Yeah.
1006
01:10:58,843 --> 01:11:02,912
- No, no.
- Why?
1007
01:11:02,914 --> 01:11:04,416
Well, I mean.
1008
01:11:06,017 --> 01:11:07,984
I am a little old now, you know.
1009
01:11:07,986 --> 01:11:13,826
A little old to fall in love.
1010
01:11:16,193 --> 01:11:21,963
- I am really sorry about everything.
- I know. I know you are.
1011
01:11:21,965 --> 01:11:25,501
I always have known that you've been sorry,
but that doesn't make it any easier, does it?
1012
01:11:25,503 --> 01:11:28,003
- I really loved your mother.
- Yes, and she loved you too.
1013
01:11:28,005 --> 01:11:30,539
I genuinely believe
she died of a broken heart.
1014
01:11:30,541 --> 01:11:34,010
- Look, I am so sorry, really.
- Do you know what?
1015
01:11:34,012 --> 01:11:36,381
I hated you for
the way you made her feel.
1016
01:11:37,682 --> 01:11:40,552
I hated you for all the shit
you put me through at school.
1017
01:11:41,486 --> 01:11:43,953
Do you know I hated you the most
because you just gave up on us.
1018
01:11:43,955 --> 01:11:45,587
Do you think that's what I did?
1019
01:11:45,589 --> 01:11:46,691
Mom died.
1020
01:11:48,726 --> 01:11:50,461
All I wanted was a hug.
1021
01:11:52,263 --> 01:11:55,401
I didn't give a fuck that you were wearing a
dress, you're my dad and you weren't there.
1022
01:11:56,668 --> 01:12:01,937
I mean, your mother... Your mother was
so... I don't know, she was embarrassed,
1023
01:12:01,939 --> 01:12:03,873
she was humiliated,
she hated it.
1024
01:12:03,875 --> 01:12:05,608
She didn't want me there.
1025
01:12:05,610 --> 01:12:06,879
I wanted you there.
1026
01:12:07,845 --> 01:12:09,615
I wanted you there.
1027
01:12:12,082 --> 01:12:15,150
There's not one day that passes
when I don't wish that
1028
01:12:15,152 --> 01:12:19,654
I could turn back time,
that I could wear that suit, but I can't.
1029
01:12:19,656 --> 01:12:23,758
I just, I...
I can't turn back the time.
1030
01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:27,663
All I can try and do is...
is make up for it now with you.
1031
01:12:27,665 --> 01:12:30,936
- I can... But it's just that I...
- It's just that what?
1032
01:12:32,135 --> 01:12:33,539
Lily, it's just that I'm-
1033
01:12:35,173 --> 01:12:37,876
I'm not sure how to do that
anymore, you see, I...
1034
01:12:39,009 --> 01:12:43,181
I don't think I... I don't think
I can remember how to be a dad.
1035
01:12:44,682 --> 01:12:49,118
But that's so easy.
You just have to love me.
1036
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:50,785
Of course, I love you.
1037
01:12:50,787 --> 01:12:53,558
I've always loved you,
you're my little girl.
1038
01:13:07,772 --> 01:13:14,810
Okay, okay, but this is it, alright?
No second chances.
1039
01:13:14,812 --> 01:13:18,884
You fucked up once and you cannot fuck up
again, dad, because I need you in my life.
1040
01:13:20,585 --> 01:13:21,816
I am here now for you.
1041
01:13:21,818 --> 01:13:23,921
I am-I promise you I'm here.
1042
01:13:26,723 --> 01:13:31,159
Dad I-I want you
to walk me down the aisle.
1043
01:13:36,233 --> 01:13:37,669
In a month, hmm?
1044
01:13:38,635 --> 01:13:41,303
Yeah, I will. I will.
1045
01:13:41,305 --> 01:13:43,638
But you have to
promise me one thing.
1046
01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:45,274
Hmm?
1047
01:13:45,276 --> 01:13:47,646
You cannot wear
a better dress than me.
1048
01:13:50,682 --> 01:13:51,717
Thank you.
1049
01:13:52,750 --> 01:13:53,752
Thank you.
1050
01:13:54,852 --> 01:13:56,988
And I've told Mark about...
1051
01:13:58,856 --> 01:14:01,222
He's just
so excited to meet you.
1052
01:14:01,224 --> 01:14:02,260
Thanks.
1053
01:14:08,232 --> 01:14:10,132
Look, I better go.
It's getting late.
1054
01:14:10,134 --> 01:14:12,668
- Do you need a lift anywhere?
- No, I drove.
1055
01:14:12,670 --> 01:14:14,169
- You haven't had too much to drink?
- I had one.
1056
01:14:14,171 --> 01:14:16,605
Oh, you had one. That is okay.
1057
01:14:16,607 --> 01:14:17,707
What are you doing Friday night?
1058
01:14:17,709 --> 01:14:19,809
Friday night...
1059
01:14:19,811 --> 01:14:22,243
Oh, one show,
only at ten o'clock, though.
1060
01:14:22,245 --> 01:14:24,079
So, do you wanna
meet sometime before?
1061
01:14:24,081 --> 01:14:26,181
Oh, I would love really love to.
1062
01:14:26,183 --> 01:14:28,050
Great, I'll, um,
leave a message for you
1063
01:14:28,052 --> 01:14:30,185
if I'm able to
come to your place.
1064
01:14:30,187 --> 01:14:32,087
I won't be here right up to
1065
01:15:03,687 --> 01:15:05,820
So, one day this beautiful woman
1066
01:15:05,822 --> 01:15:07,692
walks into a doctor's surgery.
1067
01:15:08,393 --> 01:15:12,828
In fact, she's so attractive that
the doctor loses all professionalism.
1068
01:15:12,830 --> 01:15:14,262
He says to her,
1069
01:15:14,264 --> 01:15:15,797
"Take down your trousers"
1070
01:15:15,799 --> 01:15:17,702
and begins to touch her thighs.
1071
01:15:18,436 --> 01:15:20,970
He says, "Do you know
what I'm doing now?"
1072
01:15:20,972 --> 01:15:23,241
She says, "Yes,
checking for abnormalities."
1073
01:15:24,442 --> 01:15:27,075
Then he asks her
to take off her bra,
1074
01:15:27,077 --> 01:15:29,979
starts massaging her breasts.
1075
01:15:29,981 --> 01:15:32,148
He says, "Do you know
what I'm doing now?"
1076
01:15:32,150 --> 01:15:34,286
She said,
"Yes, checking for cancer."
1077
01:15:35,786 --> 01:15:39,221
Then he got her to take her panties
off and laid her on the table
1078
01:15:39,223 --> 01:15:44,694
and starts having sex with her and
says, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
1079
01:15:44,696 --> 01:15:48,096
And she says, "Yes, getting
herpes, that's why I'm here."
1080
01:15:51,402 --> 01:15:53,372
A good friend of mine
told me that joke.
1081
01:15:54,839 --> 01:15:59,177
He was a great man before
he got all selfish and died.
1082
01:16:01,179 --> 01:16:05,780
The truth is,
he was like a father to me,
1083
01:16:05,782 --> 01:16:09,718
but he was a father
to his daughter Lily.
1084
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:11,252
Just before he passed,
1085
01:16:11,254 --> 01:16:14,323
he walked his lovely daughter
down the aisle.
1086
01:16:14,325 --> 01:16:18,697
To me, he was granddad,
to Lily, he was dad.
1087
01:16:19,796 --> 01:16:24,999
But to you all,
he was simply Jackie.
1088
01:22:02,008 --> 01:22:07,008
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