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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,767 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:23,519 โ™ช First I was afraid I was petrified โ™ช 3 00:00:23,521 --> 00:00:25,722 โ™ช Kept thinking I could never live โ™ช 4 00:00:25,724 --> 00:00:27,758 โ™ช Without you by my side โ™ช 5 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,226 โ™ช But then I spent So many nights โ™ช 6 00:00:30,228 --> 00:00:32,428 โ™ช Thinking how You did me wrong โ™ช 7 00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:34,163 โ™ช And I grew strong โ™ช 8 00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:36,366 โ™ช And I learned How to get along โ™ช 9 00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:38,168 โ™ช And so you're back โ™ช 10 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,236 โ™ช From outer space โ™ช 11 00:00:40,238 --> 00:00:42,506 โ™ช I just walked in To find you here โ™ช 12 00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:44,373 โ™ช With that sad look Upon your face โ™ช 13 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:46,443 โ™ช I should have Changed that stupid lock โ™ช 14 00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:48,744 โ™ช I should have Made you leave your key โ™ช 15 00:00:48,746 --> 00:00:50,781 โ™ช If I'd known For just one second โ™ช 16 00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:52,716 โ™ช You'd be back to bother me โ™ช 17 00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:56,519 โ™ช Go on now, go, walk out the door โ™ช 18 00:00:56,521 --> 00:00:58,689 โ™ช Just turn around now โ™ช 19 00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:01,127 โ™ช 'Cause you're not Welcome anymore โ™ช 20 00:01:01,826 --> 00:01:03,527 โ™ช Weren't you The one who tried โ™ช 21 00:01:03,529 --> 00:01:05,496 โ™ช To hurt me with goodbye โ™ช 22 00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,297 โ™ช Do you think I'd crumble โ™ช 23 00:01:07,299 --> 00:01:09,365 โ™ช Did you think I'd lay down and die โ™ช 24 00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:13,303 โ™ช Oh, no, not I, I will survive โ™ช 25 00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:16,139 โ™ช Oh, as long as I know how to love โ™ช 26 00:01:16,141 --> 00:01:17,641 โ™ช I know I'll stay alive โ™ช 27 00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:19,675 โ™ช I've got all my life to live โ™ช 28 00:01:19,677 --> 00:01:21,778 โ™ช And I've got All my love to give โ™ช 29 00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:23,446 โ™ช And I'll survive โ™ช 30 00:01:23,448 --> 00:01:28,618 โ™ช I will survive, hey, hey โ™ช 31 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,157 Thank you, I do love applause 32 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,591 but just throw money next time. 33 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,294 Oh, good evening, my beautiful kings 34 00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:39,329 and queens. 35 00:01:39,331 --> 00:01:40,564 Look, if you want to take 36 00:01:40,566 --> 00:01:41,865 a photograph, take it now. 37 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,504 Because this is as good as I get. 38 00:01:45,703 --> 00:01:48,772 It's very unprofessional to drink on stage, 39 00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:50,407 so could you help me down? 40 00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:52,708 Oh, thank you, sir. 41 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,243 Oh, you're lovely. 42 00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,580 Cheers. Hmm. 43 00:01:57,582 --> 00:02:01,184 Oh, that's fucking better. 44 00:02:01,186 --> 00:02:03,553 Is there any lesbians here? 45 00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:07,223 Lesbi... Oooh, yes, yes. 46 00:02:07,225 --> 00:02:10,526 How long have you known each other? 47 00:02:10,528 --> 00:02:13,729 20 minutes? Did I offend you? 48 00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:15,364 Thank fuck for that. 49 00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:22,205 Oooh, hello, big boy. 50 00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:25,942 Tell me something, if I had a rooster and you had a donkey, 51 00:02:25,944 --> 00:02:28,345 and your donkey hit my rooster, what 52 00:02:28,347 --> 00:02:30,346 what would you have? Hmm? 53 00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:31,514 My cock in your ass. 54 00:02:32,985 --> 00:02:36,453 Oh, I do love a dirty audience. 55 00:02:36,455 --> 00:02:37,887 Are you two together? 56 00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:38,922 No shit. 57 00:02:38,924 --> 00:02:41,725 Um... Oh, hello. 58 00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:44,393 Are you alone? Oh, dear. 59 00:02:44,395 --> 00:02:46,262 Do you know the difference 60 00:02:46,264 --> 00:02:48,665 between erotic and kinky? 61 00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:52,735 Let's see, an erotic person uses a feather, 62 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:56,472 and the kinky person uses a whole fucking chicken. 63 00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:01,945 Oh, oh, sorry, boys, he looks better. 64 00:03:01,947 --> 00:03:05,485 Oh, tell me something, big boy. 65 00:03:06,451 --> 00:03:07,984 Are you gay? 66 00:03:07,986 --> 00:03:09,919 Wait, you're straight? 67 00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:12,891 So is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet. 68 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,592 Is there a married couple here? 69 00:03:16,594 --> 00:03:18,661 Oh, oh, yes. 70 00:03:18,663 --> 00:03:21,430 You look married to me. 71 00:03:21,432 --> 00:03:23,633 How quaint. Tell me something, 72 00:03:23,635 --> 00:03:25,935 do you know the difference between 73 00:03:25,937 --> 00:03:28,405 your job and your wife? 74 00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:31,007 After five years your job will still suck. 75 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,011 Sorry, darling. 76 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:37,547 You know why men are like motorcars? 77 00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:39,382 Because they always pull out before 78 00:03:39,384 --> 00:03:41,550 checking to see if anybody else is coming. 79 00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:47,326 Oh, you see, darlings, I'm not fat. 80 00:03:48,426 --> 00:03:50,526 I'm just easier to see. 81 00:05:48,509 --> 00:05:50,144 I'm so sorry, Mr. Collins. 82 00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:54,512 Is there someone I can call for you? 83 00:05:54,514 --> 00:05:59,183 - Family? Friends? - Pardon? 84 00:05:59,185 --> 00:06:00,851 You have any family or friends 85 00:06:00,853 --> 00:06:02,753 I could call for you? 86 00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:06,092 No, I've... no family, no friends. 87 00:06:08,028 --> 00:06:09,060 I understand. 88 00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:10,529 This must have come 89 00:06:10,531 --> 00:06:11,566 as quite a shock. 90 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,168 Yes, you could say that. 91 00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:22,242 Um, how long... How long have I got? 92 00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:25,879 It's hard to say. 93 00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:29,016 Maybe six, seven weeks. 94 00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,254 Got an expiry date like a piece of fucking chicken. 95 00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:38,692 You have an aggressive form of cancer, mister Collins. 96 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:40,961 It's spreading quickly. 97 00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:50,000 There's a group of people who meet on Wednesday nights. 98 00:06:50,002 --> 00:06:53,572 It might help maybe to talk with people who 99 00:06:53,574 --> 00:06:55,109 are going through the same thing. 100 00:06:57,711 --> 00:06:59,344 I don't want to spend the last six weeks 101 00:06:59,346 --> 00:07:03,750 of my life talking about the last six weeks of my life. 102 00:07:05,752 --> 00:07:07,221 I can understand that. 103 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,091 In the meantime, I'm going to prescribe something 104 00:07:13,093 --> 00:07:15,226 that will ease the pain a little bit. 105 00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:17,161 Make sure you take these twice daily. 106 00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:18,533 Okay? 107 00:07:34,146 --> 00:07:36,081 Jackie, you in there? 108 00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:38,683 - What are you doing? - Taking a shit. 109 00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:42,187 - That's not very lady-like, is it? - Neither is my cock. 110 00:07:42,189 --> 00:07:45,190 Listen, we've got, uh... We've got a new kid start tonight. 111 00:07:45,192 --> 00:07:48,726 His name's Faith, just want you to show him around. 112 00:07:48,728 --> 00:07:50,295 You know, make him feel at home. 113 00:07:50,297 --> 00:07:53,264 Look, I am not a fucking babysitter. 114 00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:56,267 I'm not asking you to hold his fucking hand whilst he crosses the street, okay? 115 00:07:56,269 --> 00:07:58,139 Just give him a little tour round, okay? 116 00:07:59,673 --> 00:08:00,904 Where is he? 117 00:08:00,906 --> 00:08:02,774 He's in the dressing room. 118 00:08:02,776 --> 00:08:03,908 Thank you very much. 119 00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,043 Ta-ta, ta-ta. 120 00:08:05,045 --> 00:08:06,112 Fucking unbelievable. 121 00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:16,120 Oh, fuckin' hell. 122 00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:17,158 Jesus. 123 00:08:22,428 --> 00:08:25,730 Anyway Threw up all over his cock. 124 00:08:25,732 --> 00:08:27,365 Well, it's safe to say you're never gonna 125 00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:30,901 - make a sword swallower, dear. - What does he... 126 00:08:30,903 --> 00:08:32,437 Hey, um, exc... You're Faith? 127 00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:36,808 - Faith? Faith? - Yes, I am. And you are? 128 00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:40,077 I am your fairy godmother, you can call me Jackie. 129 00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:41,046 You're Jackie? 130 00:08:41,048 --> 00:08:42,046 I am. 131 00:08:42,048 --> 00:08:43,815 The one and only Jackie. 132 00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:45,817 I didn't expect you to be so... 133 00:08:45,819 --> 00:08:47,218 Old, old? I know, old. 134 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,986 Well, you gotta pay the bills, kid. 135 00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,355 Do you mind? You're sitting in my chair. 136 00:08:50,357 --> 00:08:51,726 Oh, sorry. 137 00:08:56,129 --> 00:08:58,962 How do you walk in those high heels? 138 00:08:58,964 --> 00:09:01,466 - I've been practicing since I was nine. - Mm-hmm. 139 00:09:01,468 --> 00:09:04,802 So, tell me, ahem, what is it you do? You know, what's your thing? 140 00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:07,772 You're a comedian, you dance, you sing? What is it? 141 00:09:07,774 --> 00:09:09,273 - What's your thing? - I'm a singer. 142 00:09:09,275 --> 00:09:11,008 Oh, you're a s... 143 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:14,278 Mollie, you think you got a bit of competition here. 144 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,948 Oh, bitch, please, the BFG ain't got nothing on this, honey. 145 00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:20,852 Don't worry about her. She's all bark and no bite. 146 00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:24,222 Now, listen, couple of rules you've, uh, gotta know. 147 00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:26,291 First of all, there's no fucking the customers. 148 00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:29,359 Now, I know that sounds very obvious, but... 149 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:32,262 I mean, you've got no idea how... No, no, it happens. 150 00:09:32,264 --> 00:09:33,864 So, whatever you've got in your panties, 151 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,499 you just keep it in there. Alright? 152 00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:39,137 - Mm-hmm. - Secondly, all your tips are your own. 153 00:09:39,139 --> 00:09:41,873 We don't share shit here. 154 00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:44,108 Now, you know, generally, the audience are pretty, 155 00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:46,044 you know, generous as long as you give them what they want. 156 00:09:46,046 --> 00:09:47,811 Well, within reason, remember. 157 00:09:47,813 --> 00:09:50,315 - What's the first rule? - No fucking the customers. 158 00:09:50,317 --> 00:09:54,319 Good. Good. Now, third rule is, 159 00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:57,756 if anybody touches you, you know, inappropriately, 160 00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,390 you've got all the permission in the world 161 00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:00,892 to beat the living shit out of them. 162 00:10:00,894 --> 00:10:03,026 Fine? Everything makes sense with you? 163 00:10:03,028 --> 00:10:05,028 - Mm-hmm. - Good. Oh, yeah. 164 00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:08,134 Arrive 15 minutes early, Alex will love you. 165 00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:11,236 Uh, talk of the devil. 166 00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:12,903 Kid, you're up. 167 00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:13,940 Let's go. 168 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,007 Oh, hey. 169 00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:19,013 Why are you Faith? 170 00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:21,879 'Cause everyone needs a bit of faith 171 00:10:21,881 --> 00:10:23,180 in their lives, darling. 172 00:10:28,254 --> 00:10:30,220 I give her a week. 173 00:10:30,222 --> 00:10:33,056 โ™ช I'm the sixth queen โ™ช 174 00:10:33,058 --> 00:10:34,959 โ™ช I'm the wrong queen โ™ช 175 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:38,796 โ™ช I've got mascara Running through my bloodstream โ™ช 176 00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:40,831 โ™ช I'm on the hot step โ™ช 177 00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:43,267 โ™ช I've got a broken heart โ™ช 178 00:10:43,269 --> 00:10:47,272 โ™ช I want to be a cherry-lipped Little cheap tart โ™ช 179 00:10:47,274 --> 00:10:51,342 โ™ช There's a boy with a monobrow and clubfoot โ™ช 180 00:10:51,344 --> 00:10:55,879 โ™ช And his family own All the village huts โ™ช 181 00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:58,752 โ™ช So I traveled to New York โ™ช 182 00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:02,822 โ™ช Sold my crotch For a dollar and a short โ™ช 183 00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,827 โ™ช There's a symphony In my heart โ™ช 184 00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:12,063 โ™ช And I've lost all my morals โ™ช 185 00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:16,501 โ™ช Down an alleyway, Boot polish, sky gaze โ™ช 186 00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:20,107 โ™ช Bloody murder, my life has โ™ช Moved in strange ways โ™ช 187 00:11:21,307 --> 00:11:24,378 โ™ช I was the sixth queen โ™ช From the start โ™ช 188 00:11:25,544 --> 00:11:28,579 โ™ช But I cast all my morals โ™ช 189 00:11:28,581 --> 00:11:33,151 โ™ช On a tube train, Boot polish, sky gaze โ™ช 190 00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:36,990 โ™ช Bloody murder my life has โ™ช Moved in strange ways โ™ช 191 00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:04,017 Hey. 192 00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,153 Hey. 193 00:12:11,924 --> 00:12:14,194 But what's your story? 194 00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,396 What do you mean? 195 00:12:18,899 --> 00:12:21,601 How did you learn to sing like that? 196 00:12:23,636 --> 00:12:25,670 Self-taught, darling. 197 00:12:25,672 --> 00:12:29,009 I've been singing my whole life ever since I was a little girl. 198 00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:37,051 So, how did you end up here? 199 00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:39,184 Mmh. 200 00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:42,619 Well, when I told my father I wanted to be 201 00:12:42,621 --> 00:12:44,557 a singer, he told me to get a real job. 202 00:12:46,359 --> 00:12:50,097 And when I told him I wanted to give blowjobs, he fucking lost it. 203 00:12:51,298 --> 00:12:52,399 Kicked me out. 204 00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,333 The worst thing is he was right. 205 00:12:55,335 --> 00:12:56,903 There's no fucking money in it. 206 00:12:59,505 --> 00:13:01,074 This is the best gig in town. 207 00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:04,644 How old are you? 208 00:13:06,513 --> 00:13:07,947 Don't ask a lady her age. 209 00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:13,217 I'm 21. 210 00:13:13,219 --> 00:13:15,222 How old are you? 211 00:13:18,457 --> 00:13:21,191 - 74. - Fuck it out. 212 00:13:21,193 --> 00:13:23,294 Shouldn't you be in an old people's home or something? 213 00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:25,530 Listen, I don't piss in my pants yet, you know. 214 00:13:25,532 --> 00:13:27,665 And when I eat, I drool just a little. 215 00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,370 I mean, I can drive a car. 216 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:33,403 - There's a lot of fight left in me still. - Mmh. 217 00:13:33,405 --> 00:13:36,440 Well, you look good for your age if that means anything. 218 00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:40,079 Mmh. Yeah, it does. Thank you. Yeah. 219 00:13:41,246 --> 00:13:42,313 Hey. Hey. 220 00:13:42,315 --> 00:13:43,982 Who do we have there? 221 00:13:43,984 --> 00:13:45,349 A couple of fucking puffs? 222 00:13:45,351 --> 00:13:49,020 - Yeah. Come on. Let's go. - Fucking faggots. 223 00:13:49,022 --> 00:13:50,555 It's not right. 224 00:13:50,557 --> 00:13:53,056 Alright. Fuck off. 225 00:13:53,058 --> 00:13:56,560 How are we gonna do it then? One at a time or all at once? 226 00:13:56,562 --> 00:14:01,565 I mean I got quite a tight ass, but probably about three inches between you. 227 00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:04,701 - Fuck you say? - Well, that's why you're in this back alley, isn't it? 228 00:14:04,703 --> 00:14:06,036 To get in my back alley. 229 00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:08,308 Oh, fuck. 230 00:14:12,011 --> 00:14:15,079 Oh. Jeez. 231 00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:16,748 - What are you doing? - Oh. 232 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:17,717 Are you alright? 233 00:14:18,985 --> 00:14:21,651 I thought you said you still had a bit of fight left in you. 234 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,624 Oh. 235 00:14:27,027 --> 00:14:30,331 - - Ouw! - Fucking moron, dickhead. 236 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,666 Look what you've done! 237 00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:36,700 Fucking cowards. 238 00:14:36,702 --> 00:14:37,737 Fuck. 239 00:14:47,714 --> 00:14:50,180 You know, you didn't have to put those back on. 240 00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,250 I can't give up, you know. 241 00:14:54,421 --> 00:14:57,091 In hindsight, maybe we should've gone back into the club. 242 00:14:57,823 --> 00:14:59,058 You think so? 243 00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:01,094 Yeah. 244 00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:04,298 I just hate hitting people like that, you know. 245 00:15:06,099 --> 00:15:08,302 I haven't hit anybody like that for 40 years. 246 00:15:09,369 --> 00:15:10,604 How did it make you feel? 247 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,173 Good. 248 00:15:14,106 --> 00:15:15,442 Makes you feel alive, right? 249 00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:18,411 Briefly. 250 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,713 Do you want a coffee or something? 251 00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:25,451 Mmh? No. No. No. I'm fine, really. 252 00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:36,160 - Mmh? - Could I borrow some money, please? 253 00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:38,329 I left my purse at the club. 254 00:15:38,331 --> 00:15:39,664 Yeah, yeah, of course. 255 00:15:41,768 --> 00:15:45,670 Please go to room number five. 256 00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:48,339 Look, there you go. It's alright 257 00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:50,576 Please go to room number five. 258 00:15:52,278 --> 00:15:53,377 Mr. Collins. 259 00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,845 He's here. 260 00:15:54,847 --> 00:15:57,180 The doctor will see you now. 261 00:15:57,182 --> 00:15:58,181 Thank you. 262 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,228 And so, do you, uh, 263 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,595 do you want a lift anywhere? 264 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,166 No, it's fine, I have my car. 265 00:16:15,434 --> 00:16:19,439 Well, that was one hell of a night. 266 00:16:20,706 --> 00:16:22,607 It was fun. 267 00:16:22,609 --> 00:16:24,445 I can think of other words. 268 00:16:26,913 --> 00:16:29,313 Are you working tomorrow night? 269 00:16:29,315 --> 00:16:31,315 Well, as long as I'm not fired, yes. 270 00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:32,782 Oh, don't worry about that. 271 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:35,254 I'll clear it with Alex, you'll be fine. 272 00:16:37,256 --> 00:16:40,525 Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then, Jackie. 273 00:16:40,527 --> 00:16:42,292 Yes, tomorrow. 274 00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:44,195 Thank you. 275 00:16:58,177 --> 00:16:59,779 Oh, fuck. 276 00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:14,458 Fuck me, what? 277 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:15,596 Open, open it. 278 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:22,266 - What the fuck are you doing? - I'm sleeping in my car. 279 00:17:22,268 --> 00:17:25,603 - You are sleeping in your car. - Yes. 280 00:17:25,605 --> 00:17:29,540 Oh, God. Look, get your things together. Come on. Get out of there. Come with me. 281 00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:33,611 Come with me. Just get out of the car and come with me. 282 00:17:33,613 --> 00:17:35,645 - Would you j... just get out of the car? - Really? 283 00:17:35,647 --> 00:17:39,883 Really. You can't sleep in your bloody car for God's... Come on. 284 00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:42,853 - You know, Jack... - Just get your things, close the boot. 285 00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:44,854 Get with me. Come on. 286 00:18:17,490 --> 00:18:21,258 Thank you so much for this, Jackie. I promise it's only one night. Just one night. 287 00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:25,298 No, listen. No, you can stay here until you get somewhere permanent. 288 00:18:26,031 --> 00:18:29,600 - Really? - Yeah, fine. No, listen, you'll be very comfortable here. 289 00:18:29,602 --> 00:18:33,004 Oh. What? Ooh. 290 00:18:33,006 --> 00:18:35,573 Great, fine. That's... No, thank you. 291 00:18:35,575 --> 00:18:38,575 That's lovely. Look, you... You know, sleep well. 292 00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,643 See you in the morning. Okay? 293 00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:41,511 - Okay. - I see. 294 00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:42,548 Thank you. 295 00:19:04,304 --> 00:19:05,902 Fuck! 296 00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:07,240 Mm-hmm. 297 00:19:15,981 --> 00:19:18,815 Oh, what the fuck. 298 00:19:27,693 --> 00:19:28,795 Oh, shit. 299 00:19:32,632 --> 00:19:34,731 What the fuck are you doing? 300 00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:37,034 - You scared me. - Oh, I'm sorry. 301 00:19:37,036 --> 00:19:41,538 Look, please, please, would you turn the music down a little? 302 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,507 - I'm sorry. - Thank you. 303 00:19:43,509 --> 00:19:44,941 Now, can you please sit down? 304 00:19:44,943 --> 00:19:46,544 I've made you breakfast. 305 00:19:46,546 --> 00:19:47,844 You made me breakfast. 306 00:19:47,846 --> 00:19:48,914 Yes, take a seat. 307 00:19:49,848 --> 00:19:52,051 Oh, thank you very much. 308 00:19:53,486 --> 00:19:56,086 Who's the girl in all the pictures? 309 00:19:56,088 --> 00:19:59,525 It's, um, it's my daughter. 310 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,526 - Daughter? - Mm-hmm. 311 00:20:02,528 --> 00:20:03,561 What's her name? 312 00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:04,795 Her name's Lily. 313 00:20:04,797 --> 00:20:06,432 So you're not one of us, then? 314 00:20:07,599 --> 00:20:11,000 What do you mean one of us? Hmm? 315 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:12,405 The gays, darling. 316 00:20:13,573 --> 00:20:17,374 - No, I'm not a gay. - Fuck off. 317 00:20:17,376 --> 00:20:19,512 No, it's true. But I tell you one thing, right? 318 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:25,485 I-I do like dressing as a woman, but I also like being with women. 319 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,757 Do you dress like a woman outside of the club? 320 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:33,757 Hm. 321 00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:35,328 Sort of as often as I can. 322 00:20:36,828 --> 00:20:39,365 Well, there's plenty of time to turn you, darling. 323 00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:45,438 - What about you? - I don't think that what's between my legs defines me. 324 00:20:46,172 --> 00:20:49,507 I'd prefer not to be stuck in a box. 325 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,673 Hm. 326 00:20:50,675 --> 00:20:52,610 - Stereotyped. - Mm-hmm. 327 00:20:52,612 --> 00:20:55,112 - I'm not a guy. I'm not a girl. - Hm. 328 00:20:55,114 --> 00:20:56,046 I'm an individual. 329 00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:57,414 I'm Faith. 330 00:20:57,416 --> 00:20:58,451 Yeah, fine. 331 00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:02,121 Where in the world is Lily? 332 00:21:03,588 --> 00:21:09,528 I, um, I don't know. 333 00:21:11,497 --> 00:21:16,068 We, um... haven't spoken for 10 years. 334 00:21:20,506 --> 00:21:21,541 Why? 335 00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:24,043 We had an argument. 336 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,113 Because? 337 00:21:27,613 --> 00:21:28,882 Because I wouldn't go 338 00:21:30,082 --> 00:21:31,518 to her mother's funeral. 339 00:21:33,685 --> 00:21:35,585 Why? 340 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:40,493 Well... 341 00:21:42,228 --> 00:21:45,132 When my wife was dying, 342 00:21:46,665 --> 00:21:48,132 she told me not to be there. 343 00:21:48,134 --> 00:21:50,668 - She said that? - Yeah, she did. 344 00:21:50,670 --> 00:21:53,606 Because you enjoyed... you liked to dress as a woman? 345 00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:57,844 Daughter never forgave me. 346 00:22:00,913 --> 00:22:01,948 Jackie? 347 00:22:05,183 --> 00:22:06,950 What the fuck are you doing? 348 00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:08,251 What do you think I'm doing? 349 00:22:08,253 --> 00:22:11,087 I'm praying to the East. 350 00:22:11,089 --> 00:22:14,624 Do you know how many different people's piss is on that floor? Disgusting. 351 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,759 I do now. Thank you. 352 00:22:16,761 --> 00:22:18,761 - Can I see you in my office two secs? - Why? What's wrong? 353 00:22:18,763 --> 00:22:20,130 Just two secs, two secs. 354 00:22:20,132 --> 00:22:22,533 Alright. 355 00:22:22,535 --> 00:22:24,901 - Fuck! - Do you want a drink? 356 00:22:24,903 --> 00:22:26,937 Why the fuck not? 357 00:22:26,939 --> 00:22:27,974 Alright. 358 00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:31,275 Here. 359 00:22:31,277 --> 00:22:32,511 Thanks. 360 00:22:34,079 --> 00:22:37,815 So, um, so the kid's moved in with you? 361 00:22:37,817 --> 00:22:40,284 Yes. Just for a little while until he gets settled in. 362 00:22:40,286 --> 00:22:42,719 You think that's a good idea, do you? 363 00:22:42,721 --> 00:22:43,653 What do you mean? 364 00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:44,988 What do I mean? 365 00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:46,155 I mean the kid's only 366 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,057 21 years old, for fuck's sake. 367 00:22:48,059 --> 00:22:49,692 I'm a little confused. 368 00:22:49,694 --> 00:22:52,228 What are you- what are you accusing me of? 369 00:22:52,230 --> 00:22:55,533 I just don't think it's a very good idea. That's all. 370 00:22:55,535 --> 00:22:58,134 What? Because you think that I want to fuck him? Is that what you're saying? 371 00:22:58,136 --> 00:23:01,805 - Hey. That's not what I said. - Oh, no, because you don't have the balls 372 00:23:01,807 --> 00:23:04,542 - to say it to my face. - Listen, we're just- 373 00:23:04,544 --> 00:23:07,113 - talking here, alright? - I am not gay. 374 00:23:11,817 --> 00:23:13,752 - You're not? - No, I am not. 375 00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:21,057 - Well... Well, I just assumed. - Oh, yes, you assumed. 376 00:23:21,059 --> 00:23:23,160 Just because I like wearing dresses, 377 00:23:23,162 --> 00:23:25,062 I must like sucking cock. 378 00:23:25,064 --> 00:23:26,896 Is that it? 379 00:23:26,898 --> 00:23:29,168 Well, yeah. 380 00:23:30,303 --> 00:23:31,538 Kind of. 381 00:23:32,571 --> 00:23:36,140 Look, the kid has got nowhere to live. 382 00:23:36,142 --> 00:23:38,976 Do you know how fucking scary that must be? 383 00:23:38,978 --> 00:23:41,946 I know. Wait, hey. Would you? Hey, he can stay with you. 384 00:23:41,948 --> 00:23:44,315 - Would you like that? - Listen, no. It's fine. 385 00:23:44,317 --> 00:23:47,617 I think... I think you're doing a-a good job. 386 00:23:47,619 --> 00:23:50,189 Thanks for the fucking drink. 387 00:23:58,864 --> 00:24:02,632 We live in an age where there's brand new gender issues, isn't there? 388 00:24:02,634 --> 00:24:04,301 And there's a lot of genders going on 389 00:24:04,303 --> 00:24:06,069 and some people get a little bit confused. 390 00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:08,605 For instance, I know a guy, alright, 391 00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:11,107 who used to be a guy and she's now a girl. 392 00:24:11,109 --> 00:24:15,746 And now that she's a girl, she's a lesbian, and some people might say, 393 00:24:15,748 --> 00:24:17,914 "I don't get that." You know what? 394 00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:21,384 I don't get that, but maybe it's not for me to get, right? 395 00:24:21,386 --> 00:24:23,386 Maybe it's just not for me to understand. 396 00:24:23,388 --> 00:24:26,856 But at the same, I reckon give me a couple of years, 397 00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:29,626 and slowly but surely, all the names 398 00:24:29,628 --> 00:24:32,363 for gender will permeate my consciousness. 399 00:24:32,365 --> 00:24:34,632 But in the meantime, can everyone else 400 00:24:34,634 --> 00:24:36,333 just calm the fuck down 401 00:24:36,335 --> 00:24:38,168 if I accidentally say trannie? 402 00:24:40,306 --> 00:24:41,971 Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, 403 00:24:41,973 --> 00:24:44,240 now for the main event of the evening. 404 00:24:44,242 --> 00:24:46,809 Please stand your feet, clap your hands, 405 00:24:46,811 --> 00:24:49,412 and welcome all the way to the microphone. 406 00:24:49,414 --> 00:24:55,052 It's Jackie! 407 00:24:58,958 --> 00:25:02,062 Do you know what a man's balanced diet is? 408 00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:04,862 A beer bottle in each hand. 409 00:25:05,998 --> 00:25:08,032 A man went into a candy shop, 410 00:25:08,034 --> 00:25:09,866 had to buy some condoms, 411 00:25:09,868 --> 00:25:11,000 and the cashier said, 412 00:25:11,002 --> 00:25:12,769 "Um, do you want a bag?" 413 00:25:12,771 --> 00:25:14,705 He said, "She's not that ugly." 414 00:25:16,008 --> 00:25:19,776 I do love a dirty audience. 415 00:25:19,778 --> 00:25:22,345 Do you know the difference between a hooker 416 00:25:22,347 --> 00:25:25,215 and-and-and a drug dealer? 417 00:25:25,217 --> 00:25:28,384 Well, a hooker can wash her crack 418 00:25:28,386 --> 00:25:29,385 and resell it. 419 00:25:31,723 --> 00:25:34,190 Oh, dear, oh dear. I'm so sorry. 420 00:25:34,192 --> 00:25:37,361 My boyfriend was so rough with me last night. 421 00:25:38,864 --> 00:25:41,297 Do you know what the saggy boob 422 00:25:41,299 --> 00:25:44,735 said to the other saggy boob? 423 00:25:44,737 --> 00:25:46,103 If we don't get some support, 424 00:25:46,105 --> 00:25:47,738 people would think we're nuts. 425 00:25:54,180 --> 00:25:58,148 So, let me get this straight. You haven't taken any of your pills? 426 00:25:58,150 --> 00:26:00,484 - No, I haven't taken any of my pills. - Because you dropped them? 427 00:26:00,486 --> 00:26:03,187 - Yes, because I dropped them. - In urine? 428 00:26:03,189 --> 00:26:05,091 Yes, I dropped them in the urine. 429 00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:08,926 You know, this isn't a joke, Mr. Collins. 430 00:26:08,928 --> 00:26:11,094 Those pills are meant to ease your pain. 431 00:26:11,096 --> 00:26:13,229 You need to take them every day. 432 00:26:13,231 --> 00:26:15,833 You know, last night can't happen again. 433 00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:19,469 Yeah, fine. Look, doc, just, you know, write me another prescription for the pills 434 00:26:19,471 --> 00:26:21,074 and I'll-I'll be on my way. 435 00:26:23,108 --> 00:26:28,010 - So, you collapsed on stage? - Yes, I collapsed on stage. 436 00:26:28,012 --> 00:26:30,780 - Was it hot on the stage? - What... Of course, it was hot on stage. 437 00:26:30,782 --> 00:26:34,183 I mean, they've got lights and the air conditioning hasn't worked since, 438 00:26:34,185 --> 00:26:36,286 I don't know, mid-90s. 439 00:26:36,288 --> 00:26:39,757 Look. I think you might want to think about 440 00:26:39,759 --> 00:26:40,993 taking a back step. 441 00:26:42,193 --> 00:26:45,929 You mean giving up performing? 442 00:26:45,931 --> 00:26:47,230 It's not helping you. 443 00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:48,934 The stress, the conditions. 444 00:26:49,969 --> 00:26:53,402 At your age, you should be living a more relaxed life. 445 00:26:53,404 --> 00:26:58,208 A more relaxed life? I'm dying, for fuck's sake. How relaxed can you be? 446 00:26:58,210 --> 00:27:00,878 - I mean that's what's happening to me, isn't, it doctor? - Yes. 447 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,847 And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I mean, with all of your expertise 448 00:27:04,849 --> 00:27:07,985 and all the millions of pounds they put in cancer research. 449 00:27:07,987 --> 00:27:11,087 I mean, none of that's gonna stop me from dying, right? 450 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:15,793 - Yes, that's correct. - So, if I'm dying and there's nothing anyone can do about it, 451 00:27:15,795 --> 00:27:19,062 I mean, you know, why should I give up doing what I love? 452 00:27:19,064 --> 00:27:21,131 I mean, what is that gonna do for me, doctor? 453 00:27:21,133 --> 00:27:23,333 Would it give me, uh, one extra week, 454 00:27:23,335 --> 00:27:26,569 two extra weeks? I mean, fucking wonderful. 455 00:27:26,571 --> 00:27:28,971 Dying is shit. Did you know that? 456 00:27:28,973 --> 00:27:32,074 It is... It fucking sucks, doctor. 457 00:27:32,076 --> 00:27:34,844 And look, if nothing anybody can do about it 458 00:27:34,846 --> 00:27:36,313 and I'm going to die, right, 459 00:27:36,315 --> 00:27:38,047 well, I'm going to make certain 460 00:27:38,049 --> 00:27:41,450 that I'm going to enjoy the last few weeks 461 00:27:41,452 --> 00:27:45,521 before leaving this shitty, fucking planet. 462 00:27:45,523 --> 00:27:47,760 Is that alright with you, doctor? 463 00:27:49,228 --> 00:27:50,960 Yes. That's okay. 464 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:52,331 Good. 465 00:27:53,566 --> 00:27:54,768 Is he okay? 466 00:27:55,901 --> 00:27:57,334 Oh, yes. He'll be fine. 467 00:27:57,336 --> 00:27:58,401 He'll be fine. 468 00:28:01,906 --> 00:28:06,043 - Here, why don't you have a drink of whisky. - No, thanks. 469 00:28:06,045 --> 00:28:09,179 Oh, come on. It'll make a man of you. 470 00:28:09,181 --> 00:28:12,082 Okay, darling, I don't need to be made a man of, but I'll try. 471 00:28:12,084 --> 00:28:13,182 Okay. 472 00:28:13,184 --> 00:28:14,220 Here you go. 473 00:28:15,253 --> 00:28:16,288 Drink up. 474 00:28:17,589 --> 00:28:18,521 Mm. 475 00:28:20,625 --> 00:28:22,127 I took you for a swallower. 476 00:28:23,496 --> 00:28:26,395 - How can you make jokes at a time like this? - What do you mean? 477 00:28:26,397 --> 00:28:28,532 Well, look, you don't even look like you give a shit. 478 00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:30,433 I know what my face is looking like, 479 00:28:30,435 --> 00:28:33,135 but of course I give a shit, of course I give a shit. 480 00:28:33,137 --> 00:28:34,872 I mean, who... I don't want to die. 481 00:28:34,874 --> 00:28:39,042 Who the fuck wants to die, eh? Hm? 482 00:28:39,044 --> 00:28:42,112 Well, look, they cure cancer all the time, maybe they can still do something. 483 00:28:42,114 --> 00:28:43,479 Well, if they catch it early enough. 484 00:28:43,481 --> 00:28:44,517 Have they? 485 00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:47,187 No, they never did. 486 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,355 What do we do now? 487 00:28:52,057 --> 00:28:53,590 Get pissed. 488 00:28:53,592 --> 00:28:55,926 Hm. 489 00:28:55,928 --> 00:28:58,264 - Got a bit on the chin there. - Yeah, I know. 490 00:28:59,330 --> 00:29:02,332 - What about your daughter? - What about her? 491 00:29:02,334 --> 00:29:06,169 Well, you're gonna have to tell her that you're dying. 492 00:29:06,171 --> 00:29:09,171 Tell my daughter, who hates me, 493 00:29:09,173 --> 00:29:10,207 that I'm gonna die? 494 00:29:10,209 --> 00:29:11,307 Yes, absolutely. 495 00:29:13,945 --> 00:29:15,881 I wouldn't even know where to find her. 496 00:29:16,615 --> 00:29:18,448 Facebook. 497 00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:20,854 What the fuck is Facebook? 498 00:29:37,269 --> 00:29:41,071 - Is this the first laptop ever invented? - I bought it in a boot sale. 499 00:29:41,073 --> 00:29:43,006 - You bought a laptop at a car boot sale? - I bought it in a boot sale. 500 00:29:43,008 --> 00:29:47,443 - Does it even have the Internet? - What's the Internet? Come on. 501 00:29:47,445 --> 00:29:49,680 'Course I know what the fucking Internet is. 502 00:29:49,682 --> 00:29:52,582 I mean, where's your sense of humor? I'm the one who's dying. 503 00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:54,684 I'm not a fucking caveman, you know. 504 00:29:54,686 --> 00:29:57,586 - Coming from the man who didn't know what Facebook is. - Mm-hmm. 505 00:29:57,588 --> 00:29:59,655 Now, let me set this profile up for you. 506 00:29:59,657 --> 00:30:01,458 - Do you want to set one up? - Well, wh... why? 507 00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:03,196 I'm gonna be dead in a month. 508 00:30:05,663 --> 00:30:08,030 - Do you have to be so fucking blunt about it? - I'm sorry. I really... 509 00:30:08,032 --> 00:30:09,399 You're not gonna cry again, are you? 510 00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:11,234 Well, no. I'm just a very emotional person. 511 00:30:11,236 --> 00:30:12,501 Okay, fine. Now, tell me, 512 00:30:12,503 --> 00:30:15,271 How... how do I find my daughter? 513 00:30:15,273 --> 00:30:16,440 What's her name? 514 00:30:16,442 --> 00:30:17,543 Lily Collins. 515 00:30:19,678 --> 00:30:22,045 Wait, so that means that you're Jackie Collins? 516 00:30:22,047 --> 00:30:24,581 No, I'm Jack Collins. Jack, well, you know... 517 00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:26,048 How am I only just finding that out now? 518 00:30:26,050 --> 00:30:27,183 You've never asked me before. 519 00:30:27,185 --> 00:30:28,986 - Jack Collins. - Jack. 520 00:30:28,988 --> 00:30:31,555 - Jack Collins. - Jack. J-A-C-K. 521 00:30:31,557 --> 00:30:33,123 - Okay. - Right. 522 00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:35,057 - Is this her? - No, that's not her. 523 00:30:35,059 --> 00:30:36,258 There's quite a few left. 524 00:30:36,260 --> 00:30:37,594 No, no, I'm fine. Next. 525 00:30:37,596 --> 00:30:39,129 No, no, that's not her. 526 00:30:39,131 --> 00:30:40,934 No, whoa... 527 00:30:42,468 --> 00:30:43,503 Is it... 528 00:30:44,769 --> 00:30:46,105 That's my little girl. 529 00:30:50,174 --> 00:30:52,008 Should we send her a message, then? 530 00:30:52,010 --> 00:30:53,442 An email perhaps, you have email, right? 531 00:30:53,444 --> 00:30:55,545 I've got email, yeah, I've got email. 532 00:30:55,547 --> 00:30:58,715 But tell me, a message. But what... what... 533 00:30:58,717 --> 00:31:02,585 - I mean, what am I gonna say? - Well, just invite her for a coffee or something. 534 00:31:02,587 --> 00:31:06,023 The last time I invited her for a cup of coffee, she said she never wanted to see me again. 535 00:31:06,025 --> 00:31:08,725 - Yeah, because she was angry. You just apologize. - Apologize? 536 00:31:08,727 --> 00:31:11,394 What do you mean apologize? It's not gonna be easy just saying, 537 00:31:11,396 --> 00:31:14,264 "Oh, girl, I'm sorry." You know, it's not gonna be that easy. 538 00:31:14,266 --> 00:31:16,432 Yeah, well, get on your hands and knees and beg, Jackie. 539 00:31:16,434 --> 00:31:18,267 - This is your daughter we're talking about. - Alright. 540 00:31:18,269 --> 00:31:19,736 - Alright? - Yes. Okay. 541 00:31:19,738 --> 00:31:21,270 I've got to go to the little girls room. 542 00:31:21,272 --> 00:31:22,572 - Okay, it's fine. - I expect you to have 543 00:31:22,574 --> 00:31:25,508 - a full message written. - I'm gonna do it. 544 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:26,445 I'm going to do it. 545 00:31:28,047 --> 00:31:31,384 - Do it. - I'm doing it. Can't you see I'm doing it? 546 00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:33,452 Fuck. 547 00:31:36,521 --> 00:31:40,559 Dearest Lily... 548 00:31:47,432 --> 00:31:49,234 I've got so much to say. 549 00:31:51,303 --> 00:31:53,406 I really don't know how to begin. 550 00:31:55,840 --> 00:32:00,744 I... I know you hate me. 551 00:32:00,746 --> 00:32:05,118 I know you hate me. 552 00:32:10,489 --> 00:32:12,122 I really don't blame you. 553 00:32:12,124 --> 00:32:13,789 I'm... 554 00:32:13,791 --> 00:32:20,365 Oh, I made the most terrible mistake. 555 00:32:21,432 --> 00:32:25,070 And I would really, um... 556 00:32:26,270 --> 00:32:29,773 I mean I'd love to, you know, have a... a cup of coffee 557 00:32:29,775 --> 00:32:33,179 because um, I really miss you. 558 00:32:34,278 --> 00:32:37,817 Miss you, you. 559 00:32:39,617 --> 00:32:45,354 And I... I'm so sorry. 560 00:32:45,356 --> 00:32:48,594 I... made so many mistakes. 561 00:32:49,894 --> 00:32:51,297 I apologize. 562 00:32:57,502 --> 00:33:03,375 I miss you and I love you. 563 00:33:05,611 --> 00:33:07,643 I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. 564 00:33:07,645 --> 00:33:12,417 I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. 565 00:33:15,354 --> 00:33:17,657 I love you. 566 00:33:21,492 --> 00:33:22,528 Dad. 567 00:34:33,298 --> 00:34:36,434 Fucking elegant, Jesus. 568 00:36:11,663 --> 00:36:13,697 Thank you, darling. 569 00:36:13,699 --> 00:36:15,465 Thank you. 570 00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:16,836 Thank you very much. 571 00:36:17,869 --> 00:36:19,305 You look fabulous. 572 00:36:21,739 --> 00:36:25,541 So this is, um, this was what was on your bucket list? 573 00:36:25,543 --> 00:36:31,113 Yeah, well, um, I haven't seen a pair of 574 00:36:31,115 --> 00:36:35,485 breasts, you know, for about 20 years, you know. 575 00:36:35,487 --> 00:36:36,822 Mm-hmm. 576 00:36:39,358 --> 00:36:43,092 I didn't even know these places were open in the day, to be honest. 577 00:36:43,094 --> 00:36:44,763 No, neither did. 578 00:36:47,431 --> 00:36:49,599 You know, they do toasted sandwiches here. 579 00:36:49,601 --> 00:36:51,934 - What? - Do you fancy a toasted sandwich? 580 00:36:51,936 --> 00:36:54,970 Uh, yeah, I mean, why not? 581 00:36:54,972 --> 00:36:56,472 Great. 582 00:37:01,746 --> 00:37:04,046 Fucking hell. 583 00:37:04,048 --> 00:37:05,650 I know. 584 00:37:08,652 --> 00:37:10,519 You wanna dance with her? 585 00:37:10,521 --> 00:37:14,624 No, come on, I'm too old to dance with her. 586 00:37:14,626 --> 00:37:17,126 No, you idiot, she dances for you. 587 00:37:17,128 --> 00:37:18,827 What? 588 00:37:18,829 --> 00:37:20,662 You do nothing. Come on, let me treat you. 589 00:37:20,664 --> 00:37:23,932 No, no, really, no, really. No. No. 590 00:37:23,934 --> 00:37:26,403 I mean, I wouldn't know what to do. 591 00:37:26,405 --> 00:37:27,637 You literally do nothing. 592 00:37:27,639 --> 00:37:29,139 Stop being a testicle? 593 00:37:29,141 --> 00:37:30,639 I'm not... 594 00:37:30,641 --> 00:37:31,976 Now, which one do you fancy? 595 00:37:37,081 --> 00:37:38,782 How long have you been doing this? 596 00:37:38,784 --> 00:37:39,885 Nearly a year. 597 00:37:40,952 --> 00:37:43,519 Do you... do you like it? 598 00:37:43,521 --> 00:37:45,588 - It's alright. - Uh-huh. 599 00:37:45,590 --> 00:37:47,423 To meet some interesting people. 600 00:37:47,425 --> 00:37:49,892 Um, listen, you really don't have to do this. 601 00:37:49,894 --> 00:37:52,028 I mean, I can tell my friend that you did if you don't want to. 602 00:37:52,030 --> 00:37:53,496 You don't want me to dance for you? 603 00:37:53,498 --> 00:37:56,432 Well, well, yes, I do, but, 604 00:37:56,434 --> 00:37:59,572 you see, I'm, I'm very old now. And, um, and listen, kid, 605 00:38:01,206 --> 00:38:03,539 - I could be your grandfather. - You're serious, aren't you? 606 00:38:03,541 --> 00:38:05,777 Yeah, I don't want weird about it. 607 00:38:06,945 --> 00:38:08,748 Just sit back, okay? 608 00:38:12,050 --> 00:38:15,621 I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. You... 609 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,693 What's a handsome man like you doing in 610 00:38:23,695 --> 00:38:25,728 a strip club at three in the afternoon? 611 00:38:25,730 --> 00:38:28,597 Well, I really didn't have anywhere else to go. 612 00:38:28,599 --> 00:38:32,501 Oh, well, you know how to make a girl feel special. 613 00:38:32,503 --> 00:38:35,505 - Oh, no. Sorry. No, I didn't mean that. - I'm fucking with you. 614 00:38:35,507 --> 00:38:40,543 It's just, um, it... it's that I haven't, you know, seen, 615 00:38:40,545 --> 00:38:45,215 I mean, really, seen a woman for 20 years. 616 00:38:45,217 --> 00:38:49,519 And, you know, when you get an old man like me, you know, look at 617 00:38:49,521 --> 00:38:52,722 girls and people think you're like a, you know, a dirty old man. 618 00:38:52,724 --> 00:38:56,258 Some sort of awful pervert or something like that. 619 00:38:56,260 --> 00:39:00,563 And, you know, mind you, I could be something back in the '60s. 620 00:39:00,565 --> 00:39:03,532 Do you know, I-I was really... A lot of people thought 621 00:39:03,534 --> 00:39:05,901 I was, you know, and sort of that desirable. 622 00:39:05,903 --> 00:39:08,670 I bet you used to get all the girls back in the day. 623 00:39:08,672 --> 00:39:12,677 Well, there was really only one. 624 00:39:13,711 --> 00:39:15,811 We were high school sweethearts. 625 00:39:15,813 --> 00:39:18,113 Aw, cute. How long were you together? 626 00:39:18,115 --> 00:39:20,083 - 54 years. - Fuck off. 627 00:39:20,085 --> 00:39:22,117 Yes. Yeah. 628 00:39:22,119 --> 00:39:25,021 Um, you haven't got a fella? 629 00:39:25,023 --> 00:39:27,824 I'm not really into boys, if you know what I mean. 630 00:39:27,826 --> 00:39:30,193 - What do you mean boys? - I prefer women. 631 00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:32,929 Oh, you do? Oh, that's fine. Oh, good on you. That's fine. 632 00:39:32,931 --> 00:39:34,633 I don't mind... That's good. Good. 633 00:39:35,934 --> 00:39:41,240 So... what do you think? 634 00:39:42,673 --> 00:39:44,007 Amazing. 635 00:39:44,009 --> 00:39:47,776 Thank you. Give me your hand. 636 00:39:47,778 --> 00:39:49,612 No, don't, really, really, don't, no, no. 637 00:39:49,614 --> 00:39:51,717 - Give me your hand, it's grand. - They're cold. 638 00:39:55,019 --> 00:39:56,318 You have very soft hands. 639 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,186 Thank you. 640 00:39:58,188 --> 00:39:59,491 I moisturize. 641 00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:02,624 I don't even know your name. 642 00:40:02,626 --> 00:40:03,661 Jack. 643 00:40:04,762 --> 00:40:09,298 Well, Jack, it's been a pleasure to dance for you. 644 00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:12,101 - Thank you, it has. - Come and see me again some time. 645 00:40:12,103 --> 00:40:16,738 Oh, yeah, definitely. Listen, please, oh, wait a minute. 646 00:40:16,740 --> 00:40:20,142 - Oh, no, it's okay. - No, no, no, no, no, no, really, really, look, please, 647 00:40:20,144 --> 00:40:23,679 I-I really, I really want you to take it. 648 00:40:23,681 --> 00:40:25,213 - No, you really don't have to. - No, no, thank you, no, 649 00:40:25,215 --> 00:40:27,316 you know, for the nice talk. 650 00:40:27,318 --> 00:40:29,117 I loved it. 651 00:40:29,119 --> 00:40:30,121 Thank you. 652 00:40:35,193 --> 00:40:37,025 - Hey, hold on, big boy. - Mh. 653 00:40:37,027 --> 00:40:38,894 - Hold this for me a second. - Yeah. 654 00:40:38,896 --> 00:40:39,996 Hold this. 655 00:40:39,998 --> 00:40:41,200 Oh, right. 656 00:40:45,603 --> 00:40:47,135 Thank you. I'll have that back. 657 00:40:47,137 --> 00:40:50,072 - Oh, yeah. - How was it? 658 00:40:50,074 --> 00:40:51,210 Spectacular. 659 00:40:52,277 --> 00:40:54,077 I mean, she was cute. 660 00:40:54,079 --> 00:40:56,144 If I was straight, I'd totally ask her to 661 00:40:56,146 --> 00:40:57,780 sit in the back of the cinema with me. 662 00:40:57,782 --> 00:41:00,617 What about you? 663 00:41:00,619 --> 00:41:01,950 What about me? 664 00:41:01,952 --> 00:41:06,623 - You know, you got a fella? - No. 665 00:41:06,625 --> 00:41:10,628 I mean, there was this one boy, but, um, didn't work out. 666 00:41:12,831 --> 00:41:13,865 Why? 667 00:41:16,201 --> 00:41:18,934 I suppose I loved him more than he loved me. 668 00:41:18,936 --> 00:41:21,269 - It's a very complex thing, love. - Mm. 669 00:41:21,271 --> 00:41:23,942 Sometimes I wonder why we only have one word for it. 670 00:41:25,010 --> 00:41:26,909 Do you ever speak with him? 671 00:41:26,911 --> 00:41:29,811 - No, nothing left to say. - Mm-hmm. 672 00:41:29,813 --> 00:41:33,217 Plus, I'm not the first person to have my heart broken. 673 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,987 Fucking no. It's depressing enough as it is. 674 00:41:38,989 --> 00:41:40,822 Come on, what else do you wanna do? 675 00:41:40,824 --> 00:41:45,128 Well, there is... there is something I'd like to do. 676 00:41:45,130 --> 00:41:48,264 So, listen, I'll see you tonight at the club? Alright? 677 00:41:48,266 --> 00:41:49,934 Sure, yeah, no problem. 678 00:42:37,981 --> 00:42:42,818 Well, um, where to begin? 679 00:42:42,820 --> 00:42:45,921 Oh, yes, I went to a... a strip club today. 680 00:42:45,923 --> 00:42:48,925 I met this lovely girl. 681 00:42:48,927 --> 00:42:49,961 Oh, no. 682 00:42:50,929 --> 00:42:52,197 Nothing like that. 683 00:42:53,231 --> 00:42:56,199 She showed me her breasts, they were amazing. 684 00:42:56,201 --> 00:43:00,271 I mean just like... Well, actually, yours were nicer, they were. 685 00:43:02,273 --> 00:43:06,010 Well, um, how've you been? 686 00:43:07,512 --> 00:43:11,780 I'm sorry I haven't really been around too often. 687 00:43:11,782 --> 00:43:15,284 Because I didn't think you really wanted me to 688 00:43:15,286 --> 00:43:20,291 and I still... Still don't think you do. 689 00:43:22,427 --> 00:43:26,862 Well, um, I have a bit of bad news. 690 00:43:26,864 --> 00:43:33,135 You see, I'm dying. 691 00:43:33,137 --> 00:43:34,405 I'm dying real quick. 692 00:43:35,974 --> 00:43:40,275 So, I'll be seeing you real soon. 693 00:43:40,277 --> 00:43:43,179 I... I don't know how you feel about that 694 00:43:43,181 --> 00:43:50,088 because... I'm a little nervous my... myself. 695 00:43:52,556 --> 00:43:55,258 And anyway I... I really wanted to come 696 00:43:55,260 --> 00:44:00,299 and tell you and, um, ask you a favor. 697 00:44:02,967 --> 00:44:09,508 See, when I come up there, um, please don't shout at me. 698 00:44:10,974 --> 00:44:17,280 Because, um, I don't think I could 699 00:44:17,282 --> 00:44:22,385 stand for that all eternity 700 00:44:22,387 --> 00:44:26,158 because I know you... You hate me. 701 00:44:27,391 --> 00:44:31,797 But I never... I never really wanted you to know. 702 00:44:35,132 --> 00:44:37,168 I'm so sorry I wasn't at the funeral. 703 00:44:39,971 --> 00:44:45,443 I really wanted to be, but how could I be when you didn't want me. 704 00:44:46,610 --> 00:44:53,851 I... loved you too much to, you know, hurt you again. 705 00:44:56,621 --> 00:45:02,827 I've never... I've never stopped loving you. 706 00:45:06,431 --> 00:45:08,300 I really should be going. 707 00:45:16,974 --> 00:45:19,577 I am so terribly sorry. 708 00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:29,254 Well, see you real soon. 709 00:45:33,090 --> 00:45:34,492 Yeah. 710 00:45:40,498 --> 00:45:43,298 - I'll fucking kill you. - I'd like to see you try, baby. 711 00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:46,334 - Fuck this... - Ever since I came 712 00:45:46,336 --> 00:45:48,237 to this club, you've been trying to take my shit. 713 00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,574 - Get the fuck off me. - I'm gonna fucking kill you. 714 00:45:51,576 --> 00:45:53,541 - You fucking piece of shit. - What the fuck is going on here? 715 00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:55,211 - This bitch is trying to steal my fucking style. 716 00:45:55,213 --> 00:45:56,345 It's just a coincidence. 717 00:45:56,347 --> 00:45:57,979 Beyoncรฉ here decides 718 00:45:57,981 --> 00:46:00,148 - to lose her shit about it. - Fuck you. 719 00:46:00,150 --> 00:46:03,184 - You're just jealous of my ass. - Bitch, please. 720 00:46:03,186 --> 00:46:07,956 Look, would you just fuck... Get the fuck out of here. 721 00:46:07,958 --> 00:46:09,624 Just go. 722 00:46:09,626 --> 00:46:12,327 Jesus, what are you doing? 723 00:46:12,329 --> 00:46:15,664 - That little shit is just wearing my makeup. - He's just a kid. 724 00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:19,001 He's 21. He knows not to be a little cunt. 725 00:46:19,003 --> 00:46:22,470 - Oh, you, you are just jealous. - What are you talking about? 726 00:46:22,472 --> 00:46:25,041 Well, actually what I'm talking about, you're nearly 50. 727 00:46:25,043 --> 00:46:27,208 No matter how much you pull yourself in. 728 00:46:27,210 --> 00:46:30,079 No matter how many dresses you wear, you're still gonna look 729 00:46:30,081 --> 00:46:33,048 older than him and he's still gonna look younger than you. 730 00:46:33,050 --> 00:46:36,084 I'm like a fine wine, darling. I get better with age. 731 00:46:36,086 --> 00:46:37,552 Yes, of course, and some of the greatest wines 732 00:46:37,554 --> 00:46:39,588 - I ever drunk were old. - Exactly. 733 00:46:39,590 --> 00:46:42,661 But then I thought to myself, "They're not fucking worth it." 734 00:46:51,068 --> 00:46:53,568 - Are you alright? - Who the fuck does she think she is? 735 00:46:53,570 --> 00:46:55,570 - I mean, what is going on? - What do you mean? 736 00:46:55,572 --> 00:46:58,541 What do I mean? You had Mollie on the floor. 737 00:46:58,543 --> 00:47:00,543 You were beating the living shit out of her. 738 00:47:00,545 --> 00:47:01,711 What do you want to say, Jackie? 739 00:47:01,713 --> 00:47:03,311 I want you to tell me the truth. 740 00:47:03,313 --> 00:47:04,612 - Do you want the truth? - Yes, I do. 741 00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,182 The fuck all, alright? 742 00:47:06,184 --> 00:47:08,249 The fuck, I'm singing for ยฃ40 a night, 743 00:47:08,251 --> 00:47:09,617 I'm sleeping on your fucking sofa. 744 00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:11,586 My dad hates me. 745 00:47:11,588 --> 00:47:14,023 I broke my favorite pair of fucking heels today. 746 00:47:14,025 --> 00:47:15,758 I don't have much, but I've got style. 747 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,594 So when someone tries to take it from me, it pisses me off. 748 00:47:18,596 --> 00:47:20,229 You've always got me, Faith. 749 00:47:20,231 --> 00:47:21,500 Yeah, not for much longer. 750 00:47:23,701 --> 00:47:25,066 Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. 751 00:47:25,068 --> 00:47:27,536 I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. 752 00:47:27,538 --> 00:47:29,604 Oh, yes you did. 753 00:47:29,606 --> 00:47:30,641 Jackie. 754 00:47:35,079 --> 00:47:36,378 Fuck. 755 00:51:41,458 --> 00:51:42,492 Hi. 756 00:51:46,364 --> 00:51:47,398 Hi. 757 00:51:48,632 --> 00:51:49,667 What are you doing? 758 00:51:51,268 --> 00:51:52,937 I'm having a cheeky fag before work. 759 00:51:54,739 --> 00:51:56,608 why didn't you come home last night? 760 00:51:58,376 --> 00:52:00,909 Uh, I didn't think you wanted me to. 761 00:52:00,911 --> 00:52:04,516 What are you talking about? 762 00:52:05,449 --> 00:52:08,483 You know, after what I said. 763 00:52:08,485 --> 00:52:10,989 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 764 00:52:12,389 --> 00:52:16,525 Listen, I'm not your dad, you know that. 765 00:52:16,527 --> 00:52:18,929 Look, you've always got a home with me, really. 766 00:52:24,635 --> 00:52:25,870 Thank you, Jackie. 767 00:52:27,304 --> 00:52:31,005 You better have a shower, do you know I can smell you right from here? 768 00:52:45,088 --> 00:52:47,625 So, do you have anything else on your bucket list? 769 00:52:48,525 --> 00:52:51,730 Yes, yes, there is something. 770 00:53:05,509 --> 00:53:06,909 So, this is the place? 771 00:53:06,911 --> 00:53:08,380 Yeah, looks like it. 772 00:53:10,581 --> 00:53:12,514 Do you want us to go in together? 773 00:53:12,516 --> 00:53:13,816 Well, of course we're gonna go in together. 774 00:53:13,818 --> 00:53:16,751 Okay, well, do I look good? 775 00:53:16,753 --> 00:53:18,653 Yes, you look good. What? 776 00:53:18,655 --> 00:53:22,124 What the fuck, it's just a drug dealer for, Christ's sake. 777 00:53:22,126 --> 00:53:24,496 - And? - You look lovely. 778 00:53:25,795 --> 00:53:26,830 Come on. 779 00:53:40,010 --> 00:53:41,142 Come on, Faith. 780 00:53:41,144 --> 00:53:42,845 Give me a 781 00:54:01,398 --> 00:54:03,164 You're, uh, Daryl? 782 00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:04,932 Yeah. 783 00:54:04,934 --> 00:54:06,501 This is Bianca. 784 00:54:06,503 --> 00:54:08,436 Very pleased to meet you, Bianca. 785 00:54:08,438 --> 00:54:09,606 She's sleeping. 786 00:54:12,108 --> 00:54:13,941 What is it you want? 787 00:54:13,943 --> 00:54:16,979 Um, Alex gave me your address and he said that he would 788 00:54:16,981 --> 00:54:20,081 text you, or call you and say that we were gonna pop by. 789 00:54:20,083 --> 00:54:21,182 I didn't get a text. 790 00:54:21,184 --> 00:54:22,085 You didn't get a text? 791 00:54:23,987 --> 00:54:26,655 - This is not gonna be very good. - I told you. 792 00:54:26,657 --> 00:54:27,992 It's fucking one in the morning. 793 00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,128 You're a guy, right? 794 00:54:33,664 --> 00:54:36,532 It depends what your definition of a guy is. 795 00:54:36,534 --> 00:54:37,602 Well, you got a cock. 796 00:54:38,635 --> 00:54:40,202 Yes, I do, yeah. 797 00:54:40,204 --> 00:54:41,539 So, you're a guy then? 798 00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:44,206 I mean, it's a little more complicated than that, 799 00:54:44,208 --> 00:54:48,610 but it's late, so I'd agree to disagree. 800 00:54:48,612 --> 00:54:50,115 Disagree that you've got a cock? 801 00:54:51,614 --> 00:54:53,548 Disagree that that's what makes me a man. 802 00:54:53,550 --> 00:54:56,952 Well, I don't get it, guys got cocks, women have got pussies. 803 00:54:56,954 --> 00:54:59,854 Simple as that, ain't it, mate? What about you? 804 00:54:59,856 --> 00:55:01,690 - I think we ought to be going. - I think so too. 805 00:55:01,692 --> 00:55:03,224 No, no, no. stay there. 806 00:55:03,226 --> 00:55:06,061 - You got money, right? - Yes, I have, yeah. 807 00:55:06,063 --> 00:55:07,095 Let's do a bit of business. 808 00:55:07,097 --> 00:55:08,530 What is it you want? 809 00:55:08,532 --> 00:55:11,467 Um, what have you got? 810 00:55:11,469 --> 00:55:12,568 She's in a candy shop. 811 00:55:12,570 --> 00:55:13,905 I'm not your sugar daddy. 812 00:55:15,539 --> 00:55:16,505 Doesn't make any sense. 813 00:55:16,507 --> 00:55:17,575 The fuck did you say? 814 00:55:19,043 --> 00:55:19,974 Uh, nothing. 815 00:55:19,976 --> 00:55:21,776 You have coke? 816 00:55:21,778 --> 00:55:23,177 Of course I've got coke. 817 00:55:23,179 --> 00:55:24,179 Yes. 818 00:55:24,181 --> 00:55:25,483 How much do you want? 819 00:55:26,884 --> 00:55:29,885 Um, how much do people usually take? 820 00:55:29,887 --> 00:55:30,885 Of cocaine? 821 00:55:30,887 --> 00:55:31,956 Yes, of cocaine. 822 00:55:32,956 --> 00:55:34,092 Is it just for tonight? 823 00:55:35,592 --> 00:55:38,126 It was just for a one-off thing. 824 00:55:38,128 --> 00:55:41,796 - Okay, well, a gram should do you. - Ok, yeah, fine. Gram. 825 00:55:41,798 --> 00:55:43,865 Alright. 826 00:55:43,867 --> 00:55:45,501 - Are you okay? - Yeah. No, sure, I'm fine. 827 00:55:45,503 --> 00:55:47,202 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm fine. 828 00:55:47,204 --> 00:55:48,807 That will be 90. 829 00:55:50,974 --> 00:55:51,907 Pounds? 830 00:55:51,909 --> 00:55:53,845 Yes, pounds. 831 00:55:55,112 --> 00:55:57,045 Lot of difference from the '60s. 832 00:55:57,047 --> 00:55:59,081 Got off a bit since then. Yeah. 833 00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:00,452 Okay, 90. 834 00:56:14,565 --> 00:56:15,733 I'm a little bit short. 835 00:56:16,733 --> 00:56:18,233 You've got a fiver? 836 00:56:18,235 --> 00:56:20,601 You're not serious, are you? 837 00:56:20,603 --> 00:56:21,603 Oy! 838 00:56:21,605 --> 00:56:23,804 - 20, 30... - Oy! 839 00:56:23,806 --> 00:56:26,675 - Excuse me, I'm counting. - It's not a fairground. I don't take coppers. 840 00:56:26,677 --> 00:56:29,577 We didn't know it was gonna be, you know, this much. 841 00:56:29,579 --> 00:56:32,213 Just fuck off out of my flat. Just get out. 842 00:56:32,215 --> 00:56:35,550 Look. Can I give you 85 for half a gram? 843 00:56:35,552 --> 00:56:36,621 Is that alright? 844 00:56:38,856 --> 00:56:41,088 Yes, just give us that money. Come on. Come on. 845 00:56:41,090 --> 00:56:43,057 - Give us it. - Thank you very much. 846 00:56:43,059 --> 00:56:44,992 There you go now, bugger off. 847 00:56:44,994 --> 00:56:46,795 Thank you very much. Sorry. 848 00:56:46,797 --> 00:56:50,164 And you, twinkle tits, piss off. 849 00:56:50,166 --> 00:56:51,668 That's a lovely jacket, really. 850 00:56:56,673 --> 00:56:59,277 Kim, fruit case, uh, see that? 851 00:57:00,811 --> 00:57:05,280 Confusing. Fuck it. 852 00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:39,804 Bloody thing. 853 01:00:06,764 --> 01:00:08,362 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 854 01:00:08,364 --> 01:00:13,802 It's okay, it's okay. 855 01:00:13,804 --> 01:00:16,905 It's okay, it's okay. 856 01:00:16,907 --> 01:00:17,875 It's okay. 857 01:00:22,179 --> 01:00:24,347 It's okay. 858 01:00:31,088 --> 01:00:32,390 It's okay. 859 01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:36,259 - I have a question. - Yeah. 860 01:00:38,362 --> 01:00:41,095 When did you first start wearing women's clothes? 861 01:00:41,097 --> 01:00:42,333 When did I start? 862 01:00:43,833 --> 01:00:45,467 Well, when did I start? 863 01:00:45,469 --> 01:00:47,505 I'm stupid for doing it. 864 01:00:49,039 --> 01:00:53,111 Must be... must be near on 50 years now. 865 01:00:55,045 --> 01:00:56,510 Why? 866 01:00:56,512 --> 01:01:02,583 Why? Why? 867 01:01:02,585 --> 01:01:07,057 Makes me feel a different person. 868 01:01:09,393 --> 01:01:11,559 - Different? - Mm-hmm. 869 01:01:11,561 --> 01:01:14,028 And so you just kept it a secret. 870 01:01:14,030 --> 01:01:17,434 I just preferred not to tell anybody. 871 01:01:18,402 --> 01:01:22,336 - So then why did you tell your wife? - I didn't. 872 01:01:22,338 --> 01:01:25,240 She came home early one day 873 01:01:25,242 --> 01:01:29,543 and she saw me dancing to Tom Jones. 874 01:01:29,545 --> 01:01:31,313 So? 875 01:01:31,315 --> 01:01:33,315 Wearing her wedding dress. 876 01:01:33,317 --> 01:01:35,349 No, it's not funny. 877 01:01:35,351 --> 01:01:37,586 - Fuck. - Yeah, fuck. 878 01:01:37,588 --> 01:01:40,588 I must say that you do make a very attractive woman, Jackie. 879 01:01:40,590 --> 01:01:44,996 Oh, for Christ's sake, don't... Fuck off, Jesus Christ. 880 01:01:46,963 --> 01:01:49,965 I'm gonna get out of the fucking bath, I got enough wrinkles. 881 01:01:49,967 --> 01:01:51,199 Yes, you do. 882 01:03:04,407 --> 01:03:06,608 You have really pretty nails. 883 01:03:06,610 --> 01:03:08,309 Do I? 884 01:03:08,311 --> 01:03:11,679 Oh, thank you, thank you very much. 885 01:03:11,681 --> 01:03:16,351 My mom said I'm not allowed to pick nails until I'm older. 886 01:03:16,353 --> 01:03:22,257 But you know something? I think... I think your mommy is a very, very wise lady. 887 01:03:22,259 --> 01:03:23,958 - She is. - Yes. 888 01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:25,726 It's okay, though, it's my birthday soon. 889 01:03:25,728 --> 01:03:27,195 Is it your birthday? 890 01:03:27,197 --> 01:03:29,030 Yes, and I'm turning six. 891 01:03:29,032 --> 01:03:31,499 Wow, six. 892 01:03:31,501 --> 01:03:32,637 How old are you? 893 01:03:34,204 --> 01:03:36,070 How old do you think I am? 894 01:03:36,072 --> 01:03:37,574 Old, like 20. 895 01:03:38,742 --> 01:03:41,041 - That's near enough. - Rosie. 896 01:03:41,043 --> 01:03:44,713 Rosie, what have I told you about running away like that? 897 01:03:44,715 --> 01:03:47,315 - No, it's really... - Sorry, mommy. 898 01:03:47,317 --> 01:03:50,318 It's really alright, she's a... She's a lovely little girl. 899 01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:54,521 - Thank you. Has she been bothering you? - No, no, no, she's been lovely. 900 01:03:54,523 --> 01:03:56,191 - Say goodbye, Rosie. - Bye. 901 01:03:56,193 --> 01:03:58,126 Bye, bye, Rosie, very nice meeting you. 902 01:03:58,128 --> 01:04:00,264 - Bye. - Bye, bye. 903 01:04:04,001 --> 01:04:08,737 What... what is all this? 904 01:04:08,739 --> 01:04:12,474 - Surprise. - Did you cook this? 905 01:04:12,476 --> 01:04:16,677 Yes, uh, well, when I cooked this from a distance. 906 01:04:16,679 --> 01:04:19,613 It was in this recipe book. Please take a seat. 907 01:04:19,615 --> 01:04:55,077 Oh. Thank you. 908 01:04:55,079 --> 01:04:56,579 You haven't tried it yet, it could be shit. 909 01:04:56,581 --> 01:05:01,988 No, I'm saying thank you... for everything. 910 01:05:03,755 --> 01:05:09,762 You know, if, um, if I had a son, I'd want him to be exactly like you. 911 01:05:13,398 --> 01:05:16,599 You know, that's, um, a really lovely thing to say. 912 01:05:16,601 --> 01:05:21,104 You're like the cross-dressing granddad I always wanted. 913 01:05:21,106 --> 01:05:23,205 - Really? - Mmh. 914 01:05:23,207 --> 01:05:25,508 - Cheers. - Cheers. 915 01:05:25,510 --> 01:05:29,778 - Oh, and eye contact, otherwise it's seven years of bad sex. - Seven years? 916 01:05:29,780 --> 01:05:31,747 I don't think I have to worry about that. 917 01:05:31,749 --> 01:05:33,485 Fuck you, I was talking about me. 918 01:05:36,787 --> 01:05:38,120 Alright, then, go on, try it. 919 01:05:38,122 --> 01:05:39,157 Mm. 920 01:05:48,332 --> 01:05:50,834 Mm. Would you try and get a takeaway? 921 01:05:50,836 --> 01:05:52,734 - Mm. - Yeah? 922 01:05:52,736 --> 01:05:54,771 Oh, yeah. Finish up. 923 01:05:54,773 --> 01:05:58,508 Do you know why God created orgasms? 924 01:05:58,510 --> 01:06:02,680 So that women could moan even when they're having fun. 925 01:06:03,682 --> 01:06:06,316 There was this old lady and she went in to the dentist, 926 01:06:06,318 --> 01:06:09,218 waited her turn, she went inside, took her knickers off, 927 01:06:09,220 --> 01:06:11,620 sat in the chair, lifted her legs up high. 928 01:06:11,622 --> 01:06:16,792 And the dentist said, "Excuse me, madam, I'm not a gynecologist." 929 01:06:16,794 --> 01:06:19,329 And the old lady said, "I know, I just 930 01:06:19,331 --> 01:06:21,363 want you to remove my husband's teeth." 931 01:06:22,566 --> 01:06:25,200 Is that too much, is it? Oh. 932 01:06:25,202 --> 01:06:28,271 Well, there's this young man, and he took a big 933 01:06:28,273 --> 01:06:30,472 bouquet of flowers back to his girlfriend. 934 01:06:30,474 --> 01:06:35,311 The girlfriend said, "Uh, I suppose I've got to open my legs now." 935 01:06:35,313 --> 01:06:37,713 He said, "Why, don't we have a vase?" 936 01:06:39,751 --> 01:06:41,818 'Cause the airplane was crashing, the girl got up 937 01:06:41,820 --> 01:06:45,521 and screamed, she said, "Oh, I'm gonna die." 938 01:06:45,523 --> 01:06:47,323 So she stripped herself naked, she said, 939 01:06:47,325 --> 01:06:51,260 "If I'm gonna die, I want to feel like a woman. 940 01:06:51,262 --> 01:06:55,365 Is there any man here who can make me feel like a woman?" 941 01:06:55,367 --> 01:06:59,138 So a man stood up, ripped off his shirt, threw it at her and said, "Here, wash that." 942 01:07:00,204 --> 01:07:07,410 I said to my father, I said, "Oh, I'm so tired of running around in circles." 943 01:07:07,412 --> 01:07:09,682 So he nailed my other foot to the floor. 944 01:07:10,682 --> 01:07:13,519 I used to be a very good father, oh, yes. 945 01:07:16,387 --> 01:07:21,490 And I... I sang to my little girl every night. 946 01:07:21,492 --> 01:07:24,260 I told her little stories. 947 01:07:24,262 --> 01:07:28,263 Christmas time, I'd dress up as Father Christmas 948 01:07:28,265 --> 01:07:31,968 and then she'd leave little mince pies by the fireplace 949 01:07:31,970 --> 01:07:35,207 for when Father Christmas came down to eat. 950 01:07:36,374 --> 01:07:37,676 Fuck, they were stale. 951 01:07:38,809 --> 01:07:40,345 And then I used to dream. 952 01:07:41,378 --> 01:07:44,849 I used to dream wonderful dreams for her. 953 01:07:46,351 --> 01:07:48,584 And that's the way it should have been. 954 01:07:48,586 --> 01:07:50,822 Oh, but dear, I did fuck up. 955 01:07:51,990 --> 01:07:57,463 And so I haven't seen my little girl for, ooh... 10 years. 956 01:07:58,563 --> 01:08:02,398 So one day, you know, I'm going to solve my problem, 957 01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:07,338 but tonight it's got to be through whisky. 958 01:08:24,990 --> 01:08:26,888 You were very funny tonight. 959 01:08:26,890 --> 01:08:29,727 Thank you. 960 01:08:33,530 --> 01:08:38,968 Wow, uh, you look... You look really... great. 961 01:08:38,970 --> 01:08:40,669 Thank you. 962 01:08:40,671 --> 01:08:41,706 So do you. 963 01:08:43,508 --> 01:08:44,977 Well, I'm a bit old, you know. 964 01:08:46,477 --> 01:08:48,278 I think it suits you. 965 01:08:48,280 --> 01:08:49,314 Thank you. 966 01:08:50,515 --> 01:08:52,985 How many more times do you think we're gonna say thank you? 967 01:08:54,285 --> 01:08:59,955 I, um, I thought you never wanted to speak to me again. 968 01:08:59,957 --> 01:09:01,226 No, I didn't. 969 01:09:02,593 --> 01:09:04,396 What changed your mind? 970 01:09:05,729 --> 01:09:07,233 I found a little Faith. 971 01:09:08,332 --> 01:09:11,334 What did he say? 972 01:09:11,336 --> 01:09:14,336 Well, he... he told me everything that you've done for him, 973 01:09:14,338 --> 01:09:15,807 which is pretty amazing. 974 01:09:17,308 --> 01:09:20,575 And, um... And he told me that you were ill. I hope it's nothing serious. 975 01:09:20,577 --> 01:09:24,446 No, no, no, just a bit of a cough. 976 01:09:24,448 --> 01:09:26,748 - Nothing serious at all. - So you've been to a doctor? 977 01:09:26,750 --> 01:09:30,552 Oh, yes, I've been to the... yeah, but I don't like making a fuss. 978 01:09:30,554 --> 01:09:31,856 You love to make a fuss. 979 01:09:33,590 --> 01:09:34,727 Only around you. 980 01:09:43,067 --> 01:09:44,066 Got a question. 981 01:09:44,068 --> 01:09:45,303 Mm-hmm. 982 01:09:46,571 --> 01:09:49,038 - Where do you buy all your clothes? - Where I buy my clothes? 983 01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:54,543 Yeah, well, I mean, you know, you're quite a big guy. I mean tall. Tall. 984 01:09:54,545 --> 01:09:57,779 - Yes, 5'10. - You know what I mean. 985 01:09:57,781 --> 01:10:02,854 Yeah, but, you know, they do... they have shops for fat women as well, you know. 986 01:10:06,357 --> 01:10:07,724 So what about you? 987 01:10:07,726 --> 01:10:09,728 I mean, what's, um, what's new? 988 01:10:11,429 --> 01:10:13,532 Uh, well, I'm an architect. 989 01:10:14,531 --> 01:10:17,800 You're an arch... Really? 990 01:10:17,802 --> 01:10:18,836 Wow. 991 01:10:19,937 --> 01:10:22,471 Yeah, I'm living up in London. 992 01:10:22,473 --> 01:10:24,740 I won't hold that against you. 993 01:10:24,742 --> 01:10:29,544 - Got a dog and... - Oh, wait, what is this? What... 994 01:10:29,546 --> 01:10:30,712 Oh, yeah, and I'm getting married. 995 01:10:30,714 --> 01:10:32,648 You're getting married? 996 01:10:32,650 --> 01:10:35,685 Oh, god! Congratulations. 997 01:10:35,687 --> 01:10:37,453 Thank you. 998 01:10:37,455 --> 01:10:40,455 Um, has he got a name? 999 01:10:40,457 --> 01:10:44,429 - Mark. - Mark, beautiful name. 1000 01:10:45,429 --> 01:10:47,633 Have you... have you set a date? 1001 01:10:48,532 --> 01:10:49,934 Yeah, it's in a month. 1002 01:10:50,835 --> 01:10:51,870 In a month. 1003 01:10:52,970 --> 01:10:54,005 What about you, dad? 1004 01:10:55,005 --> 01:10:56,605 Anyone special in your life? 1005 01:10:56,607 --> 01:10:58,841 - What do you mean? Like a lady? - Yeah. 1006 01:10:58,843 --> 01:11:02,912 - No, no. - Why? 1007 01:11:02,914 --> 01:11:04,416 Well, I mean. 1008 01:11:06,017 --> 01:11:07,984 I am a little old now, you know. 1009 01:11:07,986 --> 01:11:13,826 A little old to fall in love. 1010 01:11:16,193 --> 01:11:21,963 - I am really sorry about everything. - I know. I know you are. 1011 01:11:21,965 --> 01:11:25,501 I always have known that you've been sorry, but that doesn't make it any easier, does it? 1012 01:11:25,503 --> 01:11:28,003 - I really loved your mother. - Yes, and she loved you too. 1013 01:11:28,005 --> 01:11:30,539 I genuinely believe she died of a broken heart. 1014 01:11:30,541 --> 01:11:34,010 - Look, I am so sorry, really. - Do you know what? 1015 01:11:34,012 --> 01:11:36,381 I hated you for the way you made her feel. 1016 01:11:37,682 --> 01:11:40,552 I hated you for all the shit you put me through at school. 1017 01:11:41,486 --> 01:11:43,953 Do you know I hated you the most because you just gave up on us. 1018 01:11:43,955 --> 01:11:45,587 Do you think that's what I did? 1019 01:11:45,589 --> 01:11:46,691 Mom died. 1020 01:11:48,726 --> 01:11:50,461 All I wanted was a hug. 1021 01:11:52,263 --> 01:11:55,401 I didn't give a fuck that you were wearing a dress, you're my dad and you weren't there. 1022 01:11:56,668 --> 01:12:01,937 I mean, your mother... Your mother was so... I don't know, she was embarrassed, 1023 01:12:01,939 --> 01:12:03,873 she was humiliated, she hated it. 1024 01:12:03,875 --> 01:12:05,608 She didn't want me there. 1025 01:12:05,610 --> 01:12:06,879 I wanted you there. 1026 01:12:07,845 --> 01:12:09,615 I wanted you there. 1027 01:12:12,082 --> 01:12:15,150 There's not one day that passes when I don't wish that 1028 01:12:15,152 --> 01:12:19,654 I could turn back time, that I could wear that suit, but I can't. 1029 01:12:19,656 --> 01:12:23,758 I just, I... I can't turn back the time. 1030 01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:27,663 All I can try and do is... is make up for it now with you. 1031 01:12:27,665 --> 01:12:30,936 - I can... But it's just that I... - It's just that what? 1032 01:12:32,135 --> 01:12:33,539 Lily, it's just that I'm- 1033 01:12:35,173 --> 01:12:37,876 I'm not sure how to do that anymore, you see, I... 1034 01:12:39,009 --> 01:12:43,181 I don't think I... I don't think I can remember how to be a dad. 1035 01:12:44,682 --> 01:12:49,118 But that's so easy. You just have to love me. 1036 01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:50,785 Of course, I love you. 1037 01:12:50,787 --> 01:12:53,558 I've always loved you, you're my little girl. 1038 01:13:07,772 --> 01:13:14,810 Okay, okay, but this is it, alright? No second chances. 1039 01:13:14,812 --> 01:13:18,884 You fucked up once and you cannot fuck up again, dad, because I need you in my life. 1040 01:13:20,585 --> 01:13:21,816 I am here now for you. 1041 01:13:21,818 --> 01:13:23,921 I am-I promise you I'm here. 1042 01:13:26,723 --> 01:13:31,159 Dad I-I want you to walk me down the aisle. 1043 01:13:36,233 --> 01:13:37,669 In a month, hmm? 1044 01:13:38,635 --> 01:13:41,303 Yeah, I will. I will. 1045 01:13:41,305 --> 01:13:43,638 But you have to promise me one thing. 1046 01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:45,274 Hmm? 1047 01:13:45,276 --> 01:13:47,646 You cannot wear a better dress than me. 1048 01:13:50,682 --> 01:13:51,717 Thank you. 1049 01:13:52,750 --> 01:13:53,752 Thank you. 1050 01:13:54,852 --> 01:13:56,988 And I've told Mark about... 1051 01:13:58,856 --> 01:14:01,222 He's just so excited to meet you. 1052 01:14:01,224 --> 01:14:02,260 Thanks. 1053 01:14:08,232 --> 01:14:10,132 Look, I better go. It's getting late. 1054 01:14:10,134 --> 01:14:12,668 - Do you need a lift anywhere? - No, I drove. 1055 01:14:12,670 --> 01:14:14,169 - You haven't had too much to drink? - I had one. 1056 01:14:14,171 --> 01:14:16,605 Oh, you had one. That is okay. 1057 01:14:16,607 --> 01:14:17,707 What are you doing Friday night? 1058 01:14:17,709 --> 01:14:19,809 Friday night... 1059 01:14:19,811 --> 01:14:22,243 Oh, one show, only at ten o'clock, though. 1060 01:14:22,245 --> 01:14:24,079 So, do you wanna meet sometime before? 1061 01:14:24,081 --> 01:14:26,181 Oh, I would love really love to. 1062 01:14:26,183 --> 01:14:28,050 Great, I'll, um, leave a message for you 1063 01:14:28,052 --> 01:14:30,185 if I'm able to come to your place. 1064 01:14:30,187 --> 01:14:32,087 I won't be here right up to 1065 01:15:03,687 --> 01:15:05,820 So, one day this beautiful woman 1066 01:15:05,822 --> 01:15:07,692 walks into a doctor's surgery. 1067 01:15:08,393 --> 01:15:12,828 In fact, she's so attractive that the doctor loses all professionalism. 1068 01:15:12,830 --> 01:15:14,262 He says to her, 1069 01:15:14,264 --> 01:15:15,797 "Take down your trousers" 1070 01:15:15,799 --> 01:15:17,702 and begins to touch her thighs. 1071 01:15:18,436 --> 01:15:20,970 He says, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" 1072 01:15:20,972 --> 01:15:23,241 She says, "Yes, checking for abnormalities." 1073 01:15:24,442 --> 01:15:27,075 Then he asks her to take off her bra, 1074 01:15:27,077 --> 01:15:29,979 starts massaging her breasts. 1075 01:15:29,981 --> 01:15:32,148 He says, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" 1076 01:15:32,150 --> 01:15:34,286 She said, "Yes, checking for cancer." 1077 01:15:35,786 --> 01:15:39,221 Then he got her to take her panties off and laid her on the table 1078 01:15:39,223 --> 01:15:44,694 and starts having sex with her and says, "Do you know what I am doing now?" 1079 01:15:44,696 --> 01:15:48,096 And she says, "Yes, getting herpes, that's why I'm here." 1080 01:15:51,402 --> 01:15:53,372 A good friend of mine told me that joke. 1081 01:15:54,839 --> 01:15:59,177 He was a great man before he got all selfish and died. 1082 01:16:01,179 --> 01:16:05,780 The truth is, he was like a father to me, 1083 01:16:05,782 --> 01:16:09,718 but he was a father to his daughter Lily. 1084 01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:11,252 Just before he passed, 1085 01:16:11,254 --> 01:16:14,323 he walked his lovely daughter down the aisle. 1086 01:16:14,325 --> 01:16:18,697 To me, he was granddad, to Lily, he was dad. 1087 01:16:19,796 --> 01:16:24,999 But to you all, he was simply Jackie. 1088 01:22:02,008 --> 01:22:07,008 Subtitles by explosiveskull 81465

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