Original subtitles

My name's Rob.

I identified as straight for a very, very long time.

In my journal, it's filled with me saying,

"I don't care if I'm gay or I'm straight.

Whichever it is, I just want to know which it is."

I knew the word "bisexual", but I really didn't feel like

I had permission to use it

because I thought it was like, this 50-50 split.

Yeah, I mean, that's what I think men and women think, like,

overall, that, like, either you're gay

or you're straight depending on who you're talking to.

You're romantically homeless.

Yeah.[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Karley: Everyone knows that all women are part gay.

Duh.

But how come for men

we assume that if they even hug another guy,

they're 1,000% gay. Random!

As a woman, I've always known that being bisexual

is a badge of honor that makes me edgy.

But why isn't it the same for guys?

I assumed that if this male bisexual unicorn

actually exists, he would be like

a gay best friend who wanted to go down on you.

Wait, is a bisexual guy the holy grail of boyfriends?

♪♪

Even in the slutty circles I revolve in,

I rarely encounter a bisexual guy.

So I'm venturing out into the East Village to find out,

are bisexual men as rare as they seem?

Do you know any bisexual women?

I do. Do you know any bisexual men?

Not very closely, but I do know of one.

I don't know. I know a few in Atlanta.

In Norway, all are bisexual. Really?

the bisexual men are hiding? Almost.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah.Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Do you think that bisexual men exist?

No.Do you think that bisexual women exist?

Facts -- I love a bisexual woman.

If there's a bisexual lady, then why --

then a man can't be bisexual?

That's what I'm asking.

I don't know.

He's like...

I feel like men are afraid of how they might be judged

in a hyper-masculine society.

Do you feel oppressed by masculine norms?

I want to say "no", but the answer's "yes".

Yes and no? I sit with my legs crossed,

and people told me I shouldn't do that as a man.

But I feel comfortable doing it.

I like it. Yeah. Thanks.

[ Laughs ]

Interesting.

So it seems like there are more

bi guys out there than I thought.

But our tragic society has pushed them into hiding.

Ugh, I'm too lazy to go to Norway.

♪♪

Luckily, I do know of one magical place

where people are free to live in harmonious

sexual anarchy -- porn.

Duh.

Despite my porn addiction,

I've actually never watched a bi-dude porno.

I wonder what it's like.

D: And then the next scene is just me in a towel.

I think somebody says "Hey, do you remember

when we all fucked around when you were married?"

And I'm like, "Yeah, that was hot."

And you look at me and you go, "Yeah, well, we want round two."

We all start making out and you get pushed on the bed.

Your shorts come down and my mouth immediately

goes where it's supposed to. Got it.

How do you get a boner immediately? Like...?

I just can get a boner whenever I please.

So there's that, but like, I found out most people --Go!

[ Groaning ]

[ Laughter ]

So what is "bisexual male porn"?

Would you say like a "threesome"?

Yeah. I mean, most -- Like, two guys

D: I think it goes a little further than that.

I think if you Googled "bi porn" -- Sorry --

if you Google "bi porn"...

let's say the vast majority of what you see out there

is what I call "forced bi porn".

And I'm a big believer that that's not

what's going on behind closed doors.

Can I see how it's different?

Okay. D, I found this really sexy young guy

at the bar and I've been...Hello.

...really wanting you to experiment with him.

Experiment with what?

Like... Well, you know how we ta--

...I already told you I don't like dicks.[ Laughs ]

But -- okay, I know you don't like it,

but I really think it's hot. Fuck.

I just don't like dicks.Dante: Come on, you might like it.

[ Groaning ]And that is forced bi --

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much that.

Oh, this is amazing.

That was just -- it was an improv as well.

Yeah, and the difference would be to watch her reaction

if I just go up to him right now and I'm just like...

♪♪

And then she gets up here...

-Yay. -[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

Okay, I get it. That was better.

Well, it just felt hot.

-It felt hotter. -Yeah.

D: Are you guys cool if I just take a shower here?

Like, I already brought my stuff and now I just leave them here.

Dante: Yes, go for it, dude You don't have to ask. Just go.

Yeah, dude. You know where everything is.

He's looking really good.

I know, right? He's fucking hot.

Wait. What?

So are you bisexual in your regular life or just in porn?

D: I consider myself bisexual.

I love having sex with really cool, hot,

charismatic girls on camera.

But relationship-wise, I weigh much more on the gay side.

Dante, are you bisexual both in and out of porn?

I find myself definitely more attracted to women

at this point, but most of my --

the stuff I've filmed is on the gay side.

And so now, it's probably progressively getting

more and more and more, and I'm finding myself

enjoying guys more. So...

Amilia: I mean, from the way he looks at you...Dante: L-Let's just ask.

...I mean, so let's do it. Let's ask him.

Let's ask him.

[ Laughs ]

So if you're a performer who sleeps with men

and women in the industry, are you in high demand then?

Well, there's some homophobia on the straight side,

so it's just kind of like, when they see

a crossover performer,

a lot of the straight studios and straight performers

don't want to associate with you.

But there's a stigma on the gay side, too.

I'm still growing, but let's put it this way,

not as quickly as I could be.

So you're saying that there's a specific stigma

around bisexual male performers in the industry?

Yes.

What?

♪♪

Karley: Why is it important for you to be a crossover performer?

I mean, at least in my opinion, I feel like,

it's silly to hide what you really like.Yeah.

And it's nice to see men being bisexual

because we see that so much more often

in women in culture.Yeah.

And it's so much more okay for women to do that.

Why can't it be for men?

Agreed.

Did we just solve sexuality?

[ Laughs ]

Well, you guys have to change the world,

one bi-porn scene at a time.

Geez Louise, if this much stigma exists for bi men,

even within the sexually open porn world,

I can't help but wonder --

how tough is it for the elusive bi man out in the wild.

If I introduce myself and it becomes

even hinted that I've like,

actually had sex with a guy, she's like, "no."

Personally, I think there's nothing hotter than, like,

watching a masculine dude sucking another guy's dick.

Is putting something in your butthole a gateway drug

to sexual openness for a guy? Yes.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Karley: After learning how hard bisexual men

have it in the porn world, I'm curious --

what issues do bi men face

when trying to live their best bi lives?

Luckily, I found a bi-men support group

in New York City called "BiRequest",

with a mission to support men on their bisexual journeys.

Why did you decide to start the group?

It started very informally as sort of people who knew

they were not gay and knew that they were not straight.

A lot of folks that come to the group, like,

I didn't know there were any bisexual people

in the city of eight million or whatever it is, right?

But meanwhile, the room is filled with people.

So there's, like, more bisexuals out there than we think?

Absolutely.

Paul: Please, of course, speak from your personal experiences.

If you like what you heard,

you can do the hippie snaps or whatever you like.

What are your thoughts about being bisexual,

using that term or not using it at all or...?

I identified as straight for a very, very long time.

I knew the word "bisexual" existed,

but I didn't really know enough about it and what it meant

and the fact that it didn't have to be a 50-50 split.

And I felt forced to choose.

And it was easier to identify as straight.

I didn't even think about making that choice.

I'm 33 years old now.

I've only started coming out to people

in the last six months.

Every coming out should have a snap.

In my experience in the beginning

when I first would come out as bisexual,

that's where the sex questions

would immediately, like, come off the bat.

And I'm talking about from strangers.

Like, I'm talking about from people I just met.

"What was it like the first time you had sex with a girl?"

Like, "Did -- Have you ever had sex with a gir--" Whoa!

Like, you don't even know my full name.

You don't know me at all and you're asking me these, like,

really invasive, intrusive questions.

I'm wondering, what are the difficulties you face,

particularly when dating?

You go to a straight bar and, like,

you forget those straight women like straight men.

You know, if I introduce myself

and it becomes even hinted that I've, like,

actually had sex with a guy, she's like, "no".

Like, 80% of the time, I would say, with women.

So for me at least, it's always easier if I pass as gay there.

For me, one of the biggest barriers to coming out

was, um, be--

I was afraid that people wouldn't believe me

that I was still interested in women.

And they would assume I was gay.

I also told an ex-girlfriend recently and came out to her,

and she told me that I was just confused.

Man: Wow.

Is sex better for you now? Yeah, go ahead.

As I've been kind of opening up to experiences with men,

it's really made me kind of recalibrate

and reflect on the relationships I've had with women,

and it makes me realize, like, "Wow," you know,

"I really wouldn't want a man

to treat me like this or act this way."

And so, it's really made things better.

Yeah, I think I no longer care about,

"Is this -- Does this seem masculine"

and how you should act while having sex

and what your role is.

So you're saying sex with women got better

because you started sleeping with men?

Yeah. It helped me be more open and honest.

'Cause once you've come out to a woman as bisexual,

there's not much else that's embarrassing to say

or that you're not gonna want to talk about.

So it definitely has made sex better, I think.

Coming out has made me realize how invisible we are

because so many people I've come out to have also come out to me

as bisexual who I didn't know.

And I think the numbers are not accurate right now,

and we may be at a wave or a tipping point --A revolution.

That percentage, it's gonna explode

at a certain point -- a tipping point.

Maybe being bi is contagious.

-Yes. -Yes.

Let's hope.

Karley: Ugh, no wonder these lovely bisexuals hide

when society treats them like straight trash.

So where can these men go to truly let their bi flag fly?

Slutty little bisexual!

[ Laughter ]

Karley: For most girls, making out with everyone at the bar,

no matter what their gender, was a rite of slutty passage.

If only there was a safe space for men

to explore their bisexual desires.

I'm on my way to meet Daniel Saynt,

the founder of NSFW, a sex and wellness space in Brooklyn

that caters to the sex-positive community,

but also specifically to bisexual men.

Hi. Hey, how are you? I'm Karley.

How are ya? Oop. Hugs!

Nice to meet you.Lot of love. Come in.

Ooh, it's sexy in here.

We're actually setting up for an event tonight.

This is so professional.I mean, yeah, it's legit.

Um -- Are you guys, like, planning orgies?

Basically.

Uh, this is one of our brand's motor bunny.

It's a riding saddle.

Um, and it moves.

That is actually, like, a little bit too much, right?

[ Laughs ] You'd be surprised.

There's a lot of people who can take it to 11.

[ Motor whirrs ]

Karley: Why did you decide to start NSFW?

For me, personally, as a bisexual male,

you kind of want that community and that community

wasn't necessarily the gay community or lesbian community,

it really is this bi community which, you know,

doesn't have that many places to go to talk about that stuff.

And I wanted to create an experience

that helped educate people, help teach people.

Well, representation and visibility

is huge in terms of making people feel comfortable

to come out and be who they are, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

I kind of always knew I was bisexual for a long time.

I grew up in a very restrictive religion

that didn't really allow that to be.

You kind of feel, as you're bisexual,

that you can choose a side if you wanted to.

So I chose a side for a while,

and I was married for some time.

And then, I think I was just heading to my 30s

and a good quarter of my life had not been lived truthfully.

So I told my wife, told my parents,

and just felt a need to be more openly bisexual.

Bisexuality for men is just -- hasn't really been represented.

And I felt that we just needed some more people

being honest and open about it.

Yeah, I read that GLADD did a survey of television,

and that most of the time,

if bisexual people are represented in TV,

they're usually murderers. [ Laughs ]

The only bisexual representation

I had growing up was a show called "Nip/Tuck".

One of the characters was, like, the new doctor who was bisexual.

I remember growing up, being like, "Oh, wow,

there's a guy who, like, kisses guys and kisses girls.

Like, that's so crazy."

And so happy about it being young.

And then, it was really confusing

'cause he was dating his sister.

Then, he ended up not having a penis.

And then, like, he was a murderer.

[ Laughs ]

What events do you do that are for bi men?

We do do specific events that are for men

or for women who love men who love men.

We actually have an event coming up called "Frat",

which is gonna kind of be focused on that.

I-I watch a lot of fraternity-hazing porn.

There you go. We'll get you a paddle.

This is, like, my dream come true.

I would love that.

Daniel: For the rest of this evening,

you are Phi Theta fucking property!

You're no longer people.

You're just pledges.

Karley: Basically, this is like seventh grade summer camp

where boys are punished for being bisexual...

except now they're into it. Clever.

You like that?

How badly do you want to be a member

of Phi Theta, fucker?

So bad, pledgemaster.

I don't believe you!

So bad!

What do you love about being a bisexual man?

It's more options, more fun.

And how has being a part of this, like,

very sex-positive and welcoming community affect your life?

It trickles down everywhere.

Once you understand how to talk to people and, like,

how to ask for what you want, it's a good thing.

It's something everyone should do.

Bad bisexual![ Laughter ]

Oh, you can really take it.Oh, yeah, I can.

Ugh! One more.

Hey, who's the boss here?

[ Laughter ]

Do you think that bisexual men

are the holy grail of boyfriends?

Absolutely.

I mean, personally, I think there's nothing hotter

than, like, watching a masculine dude sucking another guy's dick.

And it's just -- there's such this comfort

with their own sexuality.

I assume that's pretty rare, actually.

Someone who is like -- has masculine, macho qualities,

but who is also down to, like, do some gay stuff.

I find it something that usually, like,

maybe it's something they wanted to act on,

but they don't know what's gonna be accepted,

and that's the great thing about NSFW,

is it's so openly accepting of that.

I've actually brought people that know that

I'm really into bisexual men, but I don't push it.

And I've brought them here

and they've had their first bisexual experience here

because the environment was so accepting.

Paddle high five.

[ Laughs ]

Karley: Okay, so unfortunately, not every bi-curious man

has a sex club in their backyard.

It got me thinking --

what can I do to help out the male bisexual revolution?

-Oh! -Oh!

Like, hold the dick? Yeah.

Then you're gonna start driving with your pelvis.

I have a bad back, but let's see how it goes.

Karley: Annoyingly, we live in a society that tells men,

if they put anything up their butt,

they're automatically gay.

Talk about unnecessary sexual anxiety.

So I'm attending a workshop in a basement

with a bisexual guru to help me be a better ally

to sexually curious men everywhere.

What is pegging?

So penis owner being penetrated by someone

who is a non-penis owner via a strap-on.

And in terms of usually strap-on with dildo, right?

That's sort of the basic definition,

getting fucked by a woman.

So what's gonna happen here this evening in your class?

Ultimately, we're gonna get to the harnessing

and attaching some form of dildo to that.

In the beginning, though, we're gonna do some hands-on

so we can find out where the prostate is

and how to relax the sphincter and all that jazz.

And then after that, we start demoing --

just go right into it.

Is putting something in your butthole like

a gateway drug to sexual openness for a guy?

Yes. I think we're all --

have some kind of sexual ambiguity.

The biggest thing for guys,

especially when it comes to anal play,

is, "Does this make me gay?"

No, it doesn't make you gay. It's okay to explore.

It's okay to see what your sexuality -- where it takes you.

If I can normalize this kind of play for them,

then maybe the idea of being bisexual or enjoying

all these versions of sexual play --

is more normal, is more -- less stigma.

I mean, that's the idea.

♪♪

Welcome, everyone. So my name is Dominus Eros,

and welcome to Pegging 101.

I do want to introduce my co-instructor Shayne.

Hi. I'm Shayne. I'm a pro-domme.

I do tantra work. I do BDSM work.

I'm here to help us all learn the ropes of pegging.

The reason why we do pegging,

first and foremost, it's pleasurable.

How many people are really familiar

where exactly the prostate lies?

Mm...

You can say -- You can say "no" if you're not sure.

-No. -No.

Which is where this guy's gonna come in, good ol' Tony.

For most guys, it's gonna be about one and a half

to two inches inside.

It's really not that far.

And it's gonna feel a little nutty, kind of like,

if you put your tongue in the roof of the mouth.

Go left and right. You feel kind of how that

texture kind of feels, that nut part.

That's kind of how the prostate will feel.

So I think I did a lot of talking.

Okay, so at this part, we are already harnessed up,

ready to go.

So we're gonna go into getting pegged.

What I'm currently doing is I'm positioning it

in an optimal place,

and I have a few things working for me.

I've got gravity and my bodyweight, right?

So the first things that a lot of guys are going to experience

when something sort of bothers us is that ring of fire effect.

It's all about giving time.

Like most muscles, if you give it time...

and you give it breath, it will relax.

How does it feel?

Really fucking good.

A lot of times, guys, we are very --

the penis owners -- are very dick-centric, all right?

Pleasure starts and ends at your dick.

But prostate is hugely pleasurable.

It's the equivalent of a g-spot. It's the p-spot,

has a ton of receptors in terms of nerves.

And when you have an orgasm, it's really intense.

So who wants to play a little bit?

Karley: Somehow, Shayne and Dominus have made everyone feel

totally non-awkward about group prostate play.

I guess now it's my turn to saddle up.

This is right, right?

Is this right? Shayne.

This is like a fucking...Shayne: There you go.

...child-safety nightmare.

Okay... There you go.

So essentially, you wanna just hover around

and sort of give gentle pressures

and you're gonna allow Tony to do some of his movements, right?

So let's say Tony was able to move around.

He's gonna sort of back into you a little bit.

Then you gotta get steady 'cause you cannot feel it

as much as a penis owner would be able to, right?

So you're just gonna stay steady at it.

And you're gonna just apply weight,

so applying your bodyweight and just sort of lean in.

Like, hold the dick?Yeah.

And then, I don't know how flexible you are,

you're gonna start driving with your pelvis.

I have a bad back, but let's see how it goes.

Straighten out your legs.

There we go!This is like planking.

It's exhausting.

You want to lay back and see what that feels like?

'Kay. So if a guy's on top, or like you saw with me before,

you can just lean into it. Mm-hmm.

So do sort of like --

there you go -- some pelvis thrusting.

Wait, hold on, you gotta encourage him to get out.

Breathe, Tony.You got this, Tony.

Breathe, Tony. Ugh.

While that Lamaze class was very informative,

clearly, exploring prostates in a dark basement

is not a prerequisite for being a bisexual man.

But being able to explore your own pleasure

without shame or stigma

is, like, essential to sexual freedom.

So obviously, bi men are the holy grail of boyfriends

because anyone who's comfortable and confident

in their sexuality is a total babe.

Duh!

As a society, we're finally beginning to understand

that female sexuality exists on a spectrum.

And men should also have that option

because men are sexually oppressed, too, randomly.

Bye, sluts![ Tink! ]

♪♪

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