All language subtitles for CHiPs.S04E05.WEBRip.x264-ION10

You!

I think I'll go
change in the car.

Good thinking.

You watch the road!

Okay.

What was that?

You know who that was?

Burt Reynolds.
I'm almost positive!

I have a feeling you'll be
seeing a lot of stars.

The pacific coast
highway is a main route

from the studios to Malibu.

Now that's what
you call seeing stars.

I've seen
that look before.

You thinking
about the CHP, uh

charity annual?

You really think I've forgotten
last year's party, Jon?

The down to the wire changes,
temperamental stars

opening night,
flop sweat, huh.

Yeah, well, remember
those words at the meeting.

'It's okay.'

Gear, brake check.

Go!

What's that
kid doing here?

'Get out of the race!'

Hey, kid,
watch your lane!

Watch it,
would you?

It could have
been your frame.

It's totaled.

Maybe I can
save some parts.

May I see
some identification?

He caused all this, officer.

I was jammed out of my lane.

You wimps are supposed
to hang in the slow lane

like on freeways.

Look, he was
racing out of his class.

You belong in midgets!

Okay, alright.
Get out of here.

Just take it easy.
Take it easy, would you?

Okay, where are
your parents, Dane?

I live with my mom.
She's working.

I'll call
for a pickup.

Any unit
in the vicinity of ECH.

11-98 need
for transportation.

Hi! What have you got?

Unsupervised
male juvenile

and, uh, a case
of nerves.

Dane!

I want you to put
your bike in the trunk.

You'll be going
with officer Clark.

Okay, so I'm busted.

I want a regular cop.

Put your bike
in the trunk.

Now!

Wipe the oil from your hands
and wait for me in the front.

I'll follow this up and tell
you about it at briefing.

Well, what do you think?

I hope we didn't shake
you with that head-on.

Ansgar likes
to showboat a little.

That's alright.

Nothing wrong
with a little showmanship

when you're calling
attention to a new product.

May I?

This is the most exciting
innovation I've seen in years.

We figured to compete with it,
but the track officials--

They-they-they said that it gave
us an unfair advantage

but then we saw
the real use for it.

I mean, this is safe,
cheap transportation

'and-and we know everybody'd
like to ride motorcycles.'

Any guy could sit his old lady
and the rug rats in the sidecar

and boogie on
down the road.

'Yeah, I can see that.'

Alright.

We'll start
with a patent search

then I'll line up
a good patent attorney.

Well, aren't-aren't you
a patent attorney?

Patent advisor,
the way the ad reads.

I handle the big picture,
the, uh, manufacturing

licensing rights,
foreign merchandising.

Now the patent search'll
cost you 1,500 at the outside.

Is there a problem
with the money?

Well, we hadn't
thought about it.

I mean, your ad
said "free advice."

Exactly.

My free advice is you pay
for a patent search.

Alright.

My partner meant
that he wasn't prepared

for the cash
outlay right now.

I understand that.

Well, what if we
bring the cash, uh

up to your office?

Well, that's fine.

Just don't wait too long.

A delay could cost
you guys a fortune.

Well, we'll-we'll have
the money to you, say, tomorrow.

I'll be there.

$1,500

Everything we've got
is tied up in this cycle!

We can get the cash
in minutes.

Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.

Will you face reality?

You know we're nothing
but a couple of washed-up racers

with nothing going for us
but this cycle car.

We had our skins on the lines
on tracks all over the country.

Now we do a stunt on the freeway
and we've got the money.

Who could catch us
in this?

One time only, right?

Just once.

Okay, could I have
your attention, please?

'It's CHP charity time again.'

Now, if you'll recall
last year we raised

a lot of money
for a very worthy cause.

This year proceeds
will go to

actors and others
for animals.

'Now if you're not
familiar with it'

'the organization includes'

'some of Hollywood's
biggest names'

who devote a lot
of time and energy

to furthering the cause
of animal welfare.

Uh, their participation
should be good news

to the person in charge
of lining up celebrity guests

uh, a post filled last year
by Frank Poncherello

'who did an excellent job,
by the way.'

That's my partner!

Okay. The, uh, first thing
on the agenda is the theme.

Now, anybody have
any fresh ideas?

Okay, um..

Barbecue's an American
institution, right?

Uh, how about
a giant cookout?

Yeah, we could get
the merchants

to donate
all the ingredients.

I'll do the cooking!

And we can stage it
on a blocked-off

section of freeway.

Uh...thanks, Artie.

Any other suggestions?

Uh, yeah, sarge.
How about a CHP rodeo?

I think my riding club would
let us use the facilities

and, uh, people would
make a lot of donations.

Besides Jon, uh

how many bronc riders
do we have here, hmm?

Yeah?

Why don't we show
the public

a side of the CHP
they've never seen before?

In fact, most of us
have never seen before.

A duty-ready motorcycle.

Completely disassembled, huh?

'I can just see
all the parts strung out.'

Pistons, springs, valves..

...gaskets.

Softball game.
We play the civilians.

Now wait-wait a minute.
H-hold on.

Let-let's keep in mind
what we're looking for here.

It's got to be timely,
something that everyone

would enjoy
and would pay to see.

I cook a great
kreplach con pollo.

How about a bike

Now that's
a good idea.

How

Uh, we could make
it a relay race

get more
riders involved.

Keep it short.
Five, uh, kilometers.

Uh, you know,
around three miles.

Actually, uh, 5K works
out to, uh, 3.106 miles.

Now, that's a great idea,
Frank, but do you think

enough people would be
interested

in watching us
race each other?

Hey, we get a few
celebrities on bicycles

everyone would
be interested!

Ponch, you remember
last year?

Celebrities, stars,
all sorts of--

Stars!

With some celebrity officials

and star contestants,
we can't miss!

It's the CHP charity
5k star race!

Just when you think
you've seen everything!

Did you get a description
of the motorcycle?

It happened too fast.

A suspect in a sidecar
dropped a few coats

and started all this.

Here, I got a list
of the stolen merchandise.

Three autumn haze car coats,
a beaver jacket--

What's the one
with the question mark?

Uh, it may be a sale.

They're negotiating.

This coat was left
on the highway.

Well, so it's got
a few miles on it.

Wear and tear!

Look, you guys can
untangle this without me.

I got a lot
of paperwork, alright?

Hi, I saw you drive up.

I needed some
additional information.

Sure.

The juvenile officer's
talking to my mom

but come on in.

Alright.

The cop's here, mom.

The one that
saved my skin.

- Oh. I'm Dane's mother.
- Hi.

I'm so happy to meet you.

Please, won't you come in.

Julie Borris,
county juvenile department.

Hi, Jon Baker.
Nice to meet you.

Look, uh, I'm
sorry to interrupt.

Oh, no,
not at all.

I want you to know
how verygrateful I am

for what you did
for my son.

I'm just glad
I could be there.

He was gnarly.

He came in scarfing up
the blacktop--

I'm glad you're
here, officer.

Uh, apparently there's
no citation issued?

Oh, right, they cannot
be conclusive

as to why he was
in the motor traffic lanes.

Well, there's a history
of Dane's behavioral problems.

'In the past year he's tried
to sail to Catalina on a raft.'

'The coast guard found him
after a two day search.'

He was a stowaway
on an international flight

with climbing gear.

'Uh, the plan was to climb
Mount Everest.'

I thought I heard
the-the phone.

Uh, Linda,
this is Jon Baker.

Uh, Linda, dear, go upstairs
and turn off your stereo.

I was just explaining
the big brother program to Dane.

Well, how about him?

'I'd go along with that.'

Well, there's more
to the program

than selecting someone
you admire, Dane.

I was just asking
a question.

Mmm, discuss it with your mom

and, uh, I'll expect a decision
by the end of the week.

Uh, if you have
any questions, uh, call me.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

If I'm ever on a talk show
you know what I'll go for?

A bathroom of your own.

Right. I'm so sick
of washing my hair..

...in the kitchen.

Roberta, Chris

uh, this is Jon Baker.

Hi.

I'm so sorry
for all the confusion today.

- That's alright.
- Come on outside. We can talk.

I just have
a few more questions.

So how did you
end up in the center lane?

Okay. I'm jamming along,
looking for a move..

And you lost it.

Yeah.

My sister Wendy.

Have I met
all your sisters?

One to go.

Carol. She's at
her diet class.

Need anything else?

Just your serial number
on your bicycle.

I've got it here.

Someplace.

Look, Dane, uh..

I want you to tell me
something straightforward

alright?

Why did you ask for me
as a big brother?

Okay.

You know that girl cop
that picked me up?

Officer Clark?

That's her.

She brought me in here.

And the lady
juvenile officer called my mom.

Get the idea?

Keep going.

You know what they really call
that program?

"The Big brother-big sister
program."

And with the way
my luck's going--

You'll get
a big sister.

That's not the only reason.

But that's what I was
thinking when I asked.

- So I blew it.
- Look, Dane.

"Big brother program"
is a carefully

supervised situation

with qualified
volunteers, alright?

Sure.

It's okay.

My, uh...quarter horse club

has a program
for youngsters.

I'll take you
if you're interested.

Really

As soon as I can.
I'll call you.

Don't forget!

Don't forget!

I want you to check
this for, uh

final approval.

- Wow!
- That looks good! Great!

I-I highlighted "star."
that's the big draw, right?

Right, yes.

That's a great
poster, Harvey.

Okay, it goes
to the printer's today.

- Terrific.
- Let me take a look.

What the heck
am I gonna do?

Rocks on the coast highway.

That's an everyday
occurrence, Grossie.

Who's the complainant?

Well, all we got
is an address.

You want to
check it out?

Yeah, why not?

Maybe I could use him.

Hey, who you got lined up, huh?

Any real biggies

I just formed the committees.

You have stars
sandbagged, right, huh?

Waiting in the wings?

Come on, just give me
a couple names.

Some other time, Grossman, okay?

Gotcha. You don't wanna dilute
the impact.

Right.

Hold out for a big announcement.

That's very professional, Ponch.

Thank you!

See you, Grossman.

Well.

Are you Milton Berle?

If I'm not, I'm having

a lot of fun with his wife.

'What took you guys so long?'

And I'd hate to be waiting
inside of a whale.

Well, that'd be
a coast guard problem.

Very funny.

Do all you brownies come up

with these snappy one

Sorry. Uh, the complaint
mentioned a road hazard.

Rocks, from up there.

Gone now, and you know
where they went?

Whew! Right past here!

But they'll be back.

'Like the mudslides,
the fires, the smog.'

Ah, I was a sweet guy
before I moved here.

Well, then,
why do you live here?

I'm a star.
Where should I live, Oxnard?

Now look. What about the rocks?

Well, it's a condition
that exists along the highway.

I mean, those bluffs
are unstable.

Good answer, but I'd like
another opinion, please.

Okay, the coastline here
hasn't changed

much in several thousand years.

Huh

That one I like.

But no more funnies, huh?

Sometimes I get this feeling,
this gut feeling

that maybe
there's someone up there

tossing down rocks
just to bug me!

'Maybe I got an enemy.'

Maybe somebody wants to kill me.

What do you think?

Well, that's
a definite possibility.

Oh.

We'll check it out, sir.

Do that, will you?
Thank you very much.

Oh, uh, Mr. Berle..

Yeah.

Uh, there's this charity
event I'm working on--

And you want me to appear on it?

Yeah. Would you?

You got me, kid. I'm yours.

For a bicycle race.

A bicycle race?

Make it touch football
and I'll be there.

You serious?

Only on one condition.

If somebody's out
to get me...find him.

Thank you.

No one's tossing rocks up here.

Kinda puts you
in touch with nature, huh?

You know, the football game
would be a great icebreaker.

And that beach is perfect.

'Spectators could
watch from the sand.'

What do you think, Jon?

Ponch, it's a bike race.

It's a star race,Jon.

'And the football game
would be a great warm-up event.'

And it gives me a star.

He's your only star?

Running out of time.

Yeah, it seems that way.

Up until curtain time.

'Turkish-Serbian war.
I have to go to Moscow at once.'

I won't let you go, Alexei.

I won't let you go.
I won't let you go.

'See, Anna, this is why
I didn't wanna..'

It's not fair. It's not fair.

It's not fair! It's not fair!

It's not fair!

No luck, right?

Do you know the furs we got

have got numbers
tattooed on them?

Right on the pelt
under the lining?

How much did you get?

Five hundred.

Oh.

We need a thousand
more for the patent search.

Well, if you're planning another
freeway heist, deal me out.

This is how
we're gonna wind up, huh?

The hottest racing cycle
team in the country

on the circuit, anyplace!

That was a long time ago.

We were champions.
We deserve better than this!

- Hey! What--

Just listen to my plan.

I got the whole thing
worked out.

You know the flea market
by the Santa Monica pier?

Yeah, where they have
the outdoor sales?

'Yeah, that's right.'

Only this time
we'll get something

without numbers
that's the same as cash!

Oh.

I'm talking about gold!

Gold?

Real gold.

See who was in that limo?

'That's Edie Marshall!'

Ah, was Steve with her?

I'm not seeing stars.
That was Edie!

Dennis, what's causing this?
An accident?

Ah, just beach traffic, mom.

On hot days like this,
the highway's always jammed.

I wonder if the judge had any
idea of the traffic situation

when he approved
this custody plan.

Oh, mom.

It's a valid point, honey.

It's dangerous driving you back
and forth through this traffic.

'The beach isn't a safe
place for you.'

Rip tides, body builders.

But I like the beach!

Broken glass, hmm

None of these things
could happen in Beverly Hills.

I'm taking you back home, baby.

Dad'll be really angry.

Notice how it catches the light.
A very fine cut.

'Once in every five years
I get a chain like this.'

Why don't you feel
the weight of that chain.

- Of course.

Excuse me.

Is all this stuff solid gold?

Everything on the table
is 14 karat. Solid!

- Everything.

- Yes, I do.

Uh, I'll be back. Really.

'Okay.'

Hey, help, help me.
I've been robbed!

Stop! Stop, thief!

LA-15-7 Mary-3.

'All units in the Malibu area.'

'We got a landslide
at the Pacific coast highway'

'and sunset,
request paramedics.'

'LA-15 Mary-3. Advise you
have a landslide..'

Are you okay?

Get away from the landslide.
Get back!

Head down.
Head down the highway! Let's go.

Come on, folks,
down the highway. Move!

Hurry up. Get back.
Get back off the highway!

Get back. Come on!
Get back to highway.

Come on. You alright?

Take her.
Take her down the highway.

Here we go.

- Alright, you got him.

Come on.

- Here, somebody take him.
- Get back!

Somebody take him over there.

Come on, get out of there!
Get out of there.

That thing's gonna go
any minute!

No, I think it's over.

'Come on, let's find out
if anyone's home.'

Hey! Alarm. The place is wired.

I know. There's signs
all over the place.

That slide impact must have set
off all the alarm systems.

They'll reset them
when the highway's clear.

Terrific. Now it's
housebreaking!

- Hey!

Wait, shh!

You know who this
house belongs to?

- A television producer.

One of the biggest in Hollywood.

I've seen his name
on the credits.

He's good.

Not great, but good.

Oh.

I figured he'd live like this.

Kelly, look at this.

This note's to his housekeeper.

The guy's in Europe,
shooting a picture.

If we play it right,
we could stay here

until the road's cleared.

Oh. Ah, we've-we've
got that gold.

It wouldn't be hard to slip away
in all this confusion.

Yeah, how about the cycle?

Well, uh, hide it.
Come back later.

It's registered to you.

If the police found it,
you'd be in trouble.

Well, uh, I'll report it stolen.

Then we're in the clear, right?

Well?

When we were building the cycle

I had to economize on parts.

Picked them up wherever I could.

If they ran a check
on all the serial numbers--

Hot parts?

You let me register that cycle

with stolen parts on it?

Which parts?

The engine

forks

suspension..

...transmission.

Ohh!

I didn't tell you
because I knew you'd worry.

" Yeah, worry.

I mean, we could hide out here

u-until the highway's
cleared and then slip out.

Cash in that gold jewelry..

...and get that patent
search going, right?

Huh?

- Okay.
- Alright, good.

I'll take care of the cycle
and you just relax.

Hey.

Will you lay back,
enjoy this joint? Relax!

At least we're safe for now,
the housekeeper won't be here

till Thursday, relax.

Relax!

Hot parts.

Hmm.

Yeah, I'll need a cross-trail
done. Right? And two skips.

'Roger.'

'That was the big one?
That was the big one?'

'I'm ready to get out of here.
That was the big one?'

I've got all of my stuff,
all of my stuff.

Just relax, sir.

Just a simple landslide,
that's all.

You mean they-they gave
me a second chance?

The engineer's checking it out.

Mr. Rhodes!

Shh. Shh. Shh.
They hear you!

It's, uh, nothing
really unusual.

Just a case
of sediment adjustment.

Yeah? What would
you call that?

Hey, that's really lovely.
You have excellent taste!

He means the boulder.

- Up there.

Yeah, well, that's a..

...that's a boulder.

That's, uh, probably part
of a rock outcropping, uh..

I'll go up there
and take a look.

But I wouldn't worry about it.

I wouldn't either,
if I lived in Barstow.

That rock cuts loose
down the hill.

It rolls right through my sauna

and then into my bedroom
where I sleep, and then

knocks off my hot tub
on the way to the beach!

Well, no, sir. Uh, actually,
that wouldn't have happened.

You see, uh,
a boulder that size

on impact with a highway,
would just explode.

Explode?

Like shrapnel?
That's nice.

I'll get a flak jacket
and a Buck Rogers hat like yours

and go through life
waiting for a crash.

You know

you really got
a great sense of humor.

But look, don't worry about it.

Uh, I'll check out the rock.

- I'll let you worry.

They're closing the highway to
vehicles along the slide here.

Malibu CHP is covering
the north end

we'll cover this end.

And we'll work out a schedule

to cover the crowd control
and, uh, security.

'Some of the residents
will be leaving the area'

'until the slide is cleared up.'

How long will it take?

Clearance? A few days.

Not sure about that boulder.

Now, we'll put you
in soft uniforms

walking shoes,
and light duty gear.

Like beach control?

Yeah, and ten-speeds too.

Ten

The roads will be jammed with
clearance crews and equipment.

It's either that or a foot beat.

You can hack that, can't you?

I can hack it.

Officials expect
the Pacific Coast highway

to be cleared
within the next few days

but they're still not sure
about the boulder.

That giant rock has prompted
a number of area residents

to evacuate
their beachfront homes.

But some of the people
from around here

are refusingto leave.

Among them,
Mr. Television, Milton Berle.

You're definitely not leaving,
is that right, Mr. Berle?

That's the, uh, that's the way
it is, Felicia.

Now believe me, I'm not talking
like a big star.

Just an ordinary guy
clinging to his land.

Ninety feet of beachfront.

You see, the le..

You see, uh, Felicia,
I am fighting for a right

that's basic to all Americans.

Which right?

The right not to have

to live under a boulder!

- 'Thank you, Mr. Berle.'
- 'You're welcome.'

'And thanks for being with us.'

'This is Felicia Jeter
reporting live'

from beneath the boulder
on the Pacific Coast highway.

You get that part about people
evacuating the homes along here?

Yeah. So what?

Just thinking.

I can understand
how you feel about bicycles.

A lot of people
are afraid of heights.

S-say, I bet you could play,
uh, touch football.

You do?

Oh, Linda, you look beautiful.

- Hi, this is Jon Baker.

May I speak to Dane, please?

Oh, hi.
Uh, yeah, just a moment.

It's for you.

Hello?

'
- Hi, Jon!

Yeah, I suppose you've heard
about the coast landslide.

Yeah, I was a little worried.

I know you guys are right
in there with stuff like that.

That's why I'm calling,
we'll be patrolling

the slide area
until the road's clear.

Guess I'm gonna have
to cancel that, uh

riding lesson until later.

I understand. It's your job.

Let me know
when you have the time.

Okay, I will.
Talk to you later.

Alright. Bye.

Believe me, there are some
things people never forget.

A few minutes on a bicycle
and it'll all come back.

Okay, see you there.