Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,258 --> 00:00:06,627
Ah, Captain.
You're at my desk.
2
00:00:06,628 --> 00:00:08,390
Just what I wanna see
first thing in the morning.
3
00:00:08,397 --> 00:00:10,299
You're three minutes late,
Peralta.
4
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,901
Not my fault.
I had a plumbing problem.
5
00:00:16,547 --> 00:00:18,549
Which reminds me,
I'm gonna need
6
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:21,185
a new
departmentally issued phone.
7
00:00:21,219 --> 00:00:23,154
Oh, come on, really?
I'm a few minutes late,
8
00:00:23,155 --> 00:00:24,573
so you're gonna call me out
in front of everyone?
9
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,617
Good idea.
Everyone?
10
00:00:26,630 --> 00:00:29,372
Gather round, so I can call out
Peralta in front of you.
11
00:00:29,406 --> 00:00:32,584
Okay, fine.
I was three minutes late.
12
00:00:32,585 --> 00:00:34,322
I'm sorry for doing
one thing wrong.
13
00:00:34,356 --> 00:00:36,835
- Oh, it's more than one thing.
- Uh-oh.
14
00:00:36,859 --> 00:00:37,961
Let's start
with the Kristov murder.
15
00:00:37,962 --> 00:00:39,265
It was
an amazing solve.
16
00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:40,535
I got him to confess
in 20 minutes.
17
00:00:40,536 --> 00:00:41,972
You also mislabeled
the evidence,
18
00:00:41,973 --> 00:00:44,120
so that confession
is worthless
19
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,785
if the sergeant
hadn't caught your mistake.
20
00:00:45,786 --> 00:00:47,688
Here are three cases
with sloppy paperwork.
21
00:00:47,723 --> 00:00:49,492
Here are two pictures.
22
00:00:49,493 --> 00:00:51,128
One is your locker.
23
00:00:51,163 --> 00:00:54,171
The other is a garbage dump
in the Philippines.
24
00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:58,913
Can you tell
which is which?
25
00:00:58,914 --> 00:01:01,317
- That one's the dump?
- They're both your locker.
26
00:01:01,351 --> 00:01:02,886
Gah, I should've guessed that.
He's good.
27
00:01:02,887 --> 00:01:06,289
This folder is labeled
"undies, dirty."
28
00:01:06,324 --> 00:01:08,325
So I won't confuse it
with "undies, clean."
29
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,162
Also, who cares
about all these rules?
30
00:01:10,198 --> 00:01:12,733
I have more felony arrests
than any other Detective here.
31
00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:15,336
You also have more mice
living in your desk
32
00:01:15,337 --> 00:01:17,338
than any other Detective.
33
00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:19,373
Algernon.
34
00:01:19,374 --> 00:01:21,377
You guys,
Algernon's back.
35
00:01:21,411 --> 00:01:24,614
Get rid of the mouse,
and get your act together now.
36
00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:28,586
He's grumpy.
37
00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:53,630
Okay, detectives,
let's get started.
38
00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:56,200
Santiago, where are we
with the Jay street drug bust?
39
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:58,302
There are 12 keys of coke
unaccounted for,
40
00:01:58,303 --> 00:02:00,104
but we just got a warrant to
search the dealer's apartment.
41
00:02:00,105 --> 00:02:01,905
Good.
Take Boyle and Diaz.
42
00:02:01,940 --> 00:02:03,674
Dream team.
43
00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:06,744
Peralta, brief us
on the vandalism case.
44
00:02:06,745 --> 00:02:08,478
Well, there's no easy way
to put this, sarge,
45
00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:11,415
but someone has been painting
wieners on squad cars.
46
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,585
And apparently,
they won't stop
47
00:02:14,619 --> 00:02:16,321
until there's a penis drawn
on every cop car in Brooklyn.
48
00:02:16,355 --> 00:02:19,158
Oh, that's what
he's been drawing.
49
00:02:19,159 --> 00:02:21,494
But what are those little
round things at the bottom?
50
00:02:21,495 --> 00:02:22,495
That's the butt.
51
00:02:22,530 --> 00:02:24,265
The butt?
52
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,102
I assume you have a plan
to catch this gentleman.
53
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:29,138
Did you just
say "genital-man"?
54
00:02:29,139 --> 00:02:31,643
Because if so, kudos,
and yes, I have a plan.
55
00:02:31,644 --> 00:02:34,115
I'm gonna plant
a decoy squad car as bait.
56
00:02:34,149 --> 00:02:38,119
Meanwhile, I'll be waiting
in an undercover vehicle here.
57
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,823
He's already tagged
three U/C vehicles.
58
00:02:40,824 --> 00:02:43,528
He can clearly spot 'em.
You should take my minivan.
59
00:02:43,529 --> 00:02:45,400
- A minivan?
- A-ha!
60
00:02:46,803 --> 00:02:50,306
You all got a problem
with my minivan?
61
00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:52,709
'Cause my wife
doesn't like it either.
62
00:02:52,710 --> 00:02:54,810
She wanted an SUV,
but those things roll, man.
63
00:02:54,811 --> 00:02:56,579
They roll!
64
00:02:56,580 --> 00:02:58,213
That's a good idea, sergeant.
We'll take the van.
65
00:02:58,214 --> 00:02:59,847
We?
You're coming with me?
66
00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:02,650
Sir, with all due respect,
I don't need backup.
67
00:03:02,651 --> 00:03:05,317
It's not backup.
It's babysitting.
68
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,584
- Babysitting.
- A-ha!
69
00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:10,987
Oh, look at this.
70
00:03:10,988 --> 00:03:13,880
The drug dealer
got a B.A. in art history
71
00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:14,756
from Brooklyn college.
72
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:15,757
Interesting, huh?
73
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,590
How's that interesting?
74
00:03:17,591 --> 00:03:20,610
Well, it's surprising
because you would think
75
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:22,768
he had studied... drugs.
76
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,606
I studied
art history too.
77
00:03:24,607 --> 00:03:26,507
- Also not interesting.
- Excuse me.
78
00:03:26,508 --> 00:03:28,840
I know I'm just
a lowly civilian administrator,
79
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,774
but I couldn't
help overhearing
80
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,342
you're looking
for some missing drugs?
81
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,510
As it turns out,
my friend here, Carlene,
82
00:03:35,511 --> 00:03:38,913
is a psychic,
and she's ready to help you.
83
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,514
I do palms, tarot,
84
00:03:40,515 --> 00:03:42,952
and I have a degree
in numerology from the Internet.
85
00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:44,722
- Ugh.
- Really, Gina?
86
00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,789
- A psychic?
- What? She's the real deal.
87
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:48,923
E.G., last week,
she predicted
88
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,560
I would have
a sensuous encounter
89
00:03:51,561 --> 00:03:53,196
with a guy named Mark.
90
00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:55,435
And I did.
91
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:01,742
Is anyone here
named Mark?
92
00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:03,770
You're good.
93
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,815
Okay, she's had visions
which, frankly,
94
00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,550
science cannot account for.
95
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:10,152
Also, she can get you
amazing deals
96
00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:11,887
on ladies' footwear.
97
00:04:11,888 --> 00:04:15,880
She's assistant manager
at Leonard's designer shoes.
98
00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:18,625
Vision.
The drugs are in a location.
99
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,494
I see the color blue...
She sees blue.
100
00:04:20,495 --> 00:04:22,620
And yellow.
101
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,598
And I see the letter
"L", "R", "S", "T", "W", "E",
102
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,298
and "B."
103
00:04:27,299 --> 00:04:29,398
So basically, everyone's
first eight guesses in hangman?
104
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,231
Thank you, Carlene.
105
00:04:31,232 --> 00:04:34,402
Your entire life
is garbage.
106
00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:36,271
So Holt's coming
on my stakeout now?
107
00:04:36,306 --> 00:04:38,672
I made a mixtape with
some very explicit rap on it,
108
00:04:38,673 --> 00:04:40,575
and now I can't sing along.
You made a mixtape?
109
00:04:40,576 --> 00:04:41,942
Yes, I still listen
to cassettes.
110
00:04:41,943 --> 00:04:43,441
This guy is all over me.
111
00:04:43,442 --> 00:04:45,108
I mean, a Captain
on a minor vandalism case?
112
00:04:45,109 --> 00:04:46,410
It's insane.
113
00:04:46,444 --> 00:04:48,346
What's insane
is how you refuse
114
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:49,681
to get with the program.
115
00:04:49,682 --> 00:04:51,149
There is a new sheriff
in town, Jake.
116
00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:53,150
Well, I like
the old sheriff.
117
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,815
I mean, McGintley wouldn't care
about a messy desk
118
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,382
or all these stupid rules.
119
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:59,184
Tase, tase, tase, tase, tase...
Hey!
120
00:04:59,185 --> 00:05:00,585
What the hell's
going on here?
121
00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:02,153
Science experiment.
122
00:05:02,154 --> 00:05:04,122
I wanna see what happens
if I taser this cantaloupe.
123
00:05:04,123 --> 00:05:05,525
Okay.
124
00:05:05,526 --> 00:05:07,262
Tase, tase, tase, tase, tase...
125
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,864
Ah!
126
00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:14,141
Yeah!
127
00:05:14,142 --> 00:05:16,344
And McGintley wouldn't care
if I was three minutes late
128
00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:19,280
'cause he was always
an hour late and hungover,
129
00:05:19,281 --> 00:05:21,490
and he would let you do
literally anything you want
130
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,351
if you gave him
a hamburger.
131
00:05:22,352 --> 00:05:23,554
Did he let you play
your mixtape?
132
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:25,290
Okay.
That's very funny.
133
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,725
Get an iPod, man.
134
00:05:27,726 --> 00:05:28,959
Mixtape.
135
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,493
I just want
to apologize
136
00:05:30,494 --> 00:05:32,628
for my fellow
Detective's behavior.
137
00:05:32,629 --> 00:05:37,132
Okay, my granny
also had the gift.
138
00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:40,398
I feel
that I will die soon.
139
00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:43,468
She was right.
She died two years later.
140
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:47,304
Your sincere belief in my gift
means a great deal.
141
00:05:47,339 --> 00:05:49,238
Vision.
142
00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:51,439
The woman you love,
the one you work with,
143
00:05:51,473 --> 00:05:53,374
the scary one
with the black hair...
144
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,776
- Rosa.
- Yes?
145
00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,177
She doesn't
love you back.
146
00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:58,213
She will never
love you back.
147
00:05:58,214 --> 00:05:59,481
Say "thank you," Charles.
148
00:05:59,482 --> 00:06:01,149
She just told you
your future.
149
00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:02,551
Thank you.
150
00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:12,195
You left without me.
You were late again.
151
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:15,990
Well, I had to put on
my undercover minivan disguise.
152
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,501
Say hello
to Harvey Norgenbloom,
153
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,539
CPA, recently divorced
father of two
154
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,674
with a dark sexual secret.
155
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,100
- What's your cover?
- Angry Captain.
156
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:29,281
Okay, so you do not like
my ensemble.
157
00:06:29,282 --> 00:06:31,248
I'm just concerned
that you may find it hard
158
00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:33,784
to pursue a criminal on foot
while wearing man sandals.
159
00:06:33,785 --> 00:06:36,190
But the sandals
define Harvey.
160
00:06:36,191 --> 00:06:39,295
He's a sandals guy.
161
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,896
Captain, why the babysitting?
Why are you micromanaging me?
162
00:06:42,897 --> 00:06:44,795
You think I wanna be
sitting here with you
163
00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:46,300
instead of running
my precinct?
164
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:47,700
Yes.
It was a rhetorical question.
165
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,403
I've spent
the last 12 years
166
00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:50,973
fighting
for my first command,
167
00:06:50,974 --> 00:06:52,544
and I'm not gonna
let you screw it up
168
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,380
because you refuse
to take your job seriously.
169
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,782
Hey, I do take
my job seriously.
170
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,617
I put away bad guys.
That's what matters.
171
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,152
Well, so does doing
your paperwork,
172
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,785
showing up on time,
wearing proper footwear.
173
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,554
That's on Harvey.
That's not me.
174
00:07:03,555 --> 00:07:04,955
Well, so here's
the deal.
175
00:07:04,956 --> 00:07:06,456
You're gonna have
a superior officer
176
00:07:06,457 --> 00:07:08,559
babysitting you
on every one of your cases.
177
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,994
And when you show me
that you can do your job...
178
00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:13,167
Every part of your job...
Perfectly,
179
00:07:13,168 --> 00:07:15,740
then I'll back off.
180
00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:18,975
Okay.
Counteroffer.
181
00:07:18,976 --> 00:07:22,775
I give you 50 bucks, and you
let me do whatever I want.
182
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,814
Fine.
We'll do it your way.
183
00:07:25,815 --> 00:07:27,820
From this point on,
I'll do
184
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:29,518
every part
of the job perfectly,
185
00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,255
perfecter than perfectly.
186
00:07:31,256 --> 00:07:34,930
It's "more perfectly."
You said that imperfectly.
187
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:37,360
I was testing you.
You did perfectly.
188
00:07:37,361 --> 00:07:39,259
Quick update
on the tagger situation...
189
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:42,326
He is currently spray-painting
our van right now.
190
00:07:42,327 --> 00:07:44,629
Police, freeze!
191
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,530
Ow, ow, ow.
192
00:07:46,531 --> 00:07:48,131
Sandal down.
193
00:07:48,132 --> 00:07:50,498
Lost a sandal.
NYPD, freeze!
194
00:07:50,532 --> 00:07:52,932
I'm here.
195
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,430
You're busted.
196
00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:55,832
Already got him.
We got him.
197
00:07:59,906 --> 00:08:02,740
Oh, hey, Captain.
198
00:08:02,741 --> 00:08:06,777
Hi, so I was able to procure
that $50 after all,
199
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,578
and my offer
still stands.
200
00:08:08,579 --> 00:08:10,513
Let me do whatever I want,
and the $40...
201
00:08:10,514 --> 00:08:12,749
That's how much
I actually have... is yours.
202
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,355
No? Fair enough.
I only had 30 anyway.
203
00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:16,923
Well, I guess
in order to get you
204
00:08:16,924 --> 00:08:18,558
to stop micromanaging me,
I'm gonna have to get back
205
00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:20,860
to the most important piece
of police work there is:
206
00:08:20,861 --> 00:08:22,261
Writing a perfect report.
207
00:08:22,296 --> 00:08:23,996
Good, I'm anxious
to read it.
208
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:27,536
And I'm anxious to restore
my status as a lone wolf.
209
00:08:30,942 --> 00:08:32,276
Anything else, Detective?
210
00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:33,744
Yeah, I'm gonna do
one more.
211
00:08:36,247 --> 00:08:38,282
Lone wolf.
212
00:08:40,712 --> 00:08:41,885
He's digging me.
213
00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,720
Hey, sarge, do you know
where we keep the glitter?
214
00:08:45,754 --> 00:08:47,720
Just wanna make sure
this report for the Captain
215
00:08:47,754 --> 00:08:48,886
is extra sparkly.
216
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,220
What are you doing,
Peralta?
217
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:51,988
Look, if I have to do things
his way,
218
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,323
I'm gonna do them
my way.
219
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,291
Okay, man.
220
00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,461
It was nice working with you.
221
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,193
I'm not scared of him,
okay?
222
00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:01,831
I'm not scared
of anyone.
223
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:03,632
Oh, also, the tagger drew
a penis on your minivan.
224
00:09:03,633 --> 00:09:05,466
I'm sorry.
Please don't chase after me.
225
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,130
What?
There's a penis on my minivan?
226
00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:11,572
High ceilings,
three bedrooms.
227
00:09:11,573 --> 00:09:13,977
Why does every perp
have a nicer place than I do?
228
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,110
You know what they don't
teach you at the academy?
229
00:09:16,111 --> 00:09:17,232
It's better to be
a criminal.
230
00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:20,617
Oh, no.
The cabinets are blue.
231
00:09:20,618 --> 00:09:22,421
Tacky.
Not a deal breaker, though.
232
00:09:22,422 --> 00:09:23,790
I'd just repaint it.
233
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,659
The psychic predicted
the drugs
234
00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:26,940
would be found
in something blue.
235
00:09:26,961 --> 00:09:30,960
I see the color blue.
236
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,990
She also made this really
depressing prediction
237
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,434
about my life.
238
00:09:33,435 --> 00:09:36,471
She will never love you back.
239
00:09:36,505 --> 00:09:39,210
And if she's right
about where we find the drugs,
240
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:40,411
that means she's right
about the other thing.
241
00:09:40,445 --> 00:09:42,680
- Uh-huh.
- Kitchen.
242
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,821
- Whoa.
- Jackpot.
243
00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:50,260
There's way more
than 12 keys in here.
244
00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:51,194
Where was it?
245
00:09:51,228 --> 00:09:52,963
Baseboard,
behind the hamper.
246
00:09:52,997 --> 00:09:54,798
What color
was the hamper?
247
00:09:54,799 --> 00:09:55,798
- Green.
- Yes.
248
00:09:55,799 --> 00:09:57,132
The clothes hamper
was green.
249
00:09:57,133 --> 00:10:00,204
The clothes hamper was green!
250
00:10:00,238 --> 00:10:02,600
Drinks on me.
251
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,940
You're weird.
252
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:08,478
Sorry this is
taking so long.
253
00:10:08,479 --> 00:10:09,679
Still writing up
my report.
254
00:10:09,713 --> 00:10:11,382
Pretty detailed.
255
00:10:11,416 --> 00:10:13,584
Hey, Gina, can you look up
what the humidity was
256
00:10:13,585 --> 00:10:15,987
about an hour ago and also
what moon cycle we're in?
257
00:10:15,988 --> 00:10:19,292
No, sorry.
Don't feel like it, no.
258
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,495
Thanks, Gina.
259
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,331
And now to you.
What's your name?
260
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,200
My name is
banana fartman, md.
261
00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:27,569
I don't believe you.
262
00:10:27,604 --> 00:10:29,704
Come on, man.
Just tell me who you are.
263
00:10:29,705 --> 00:10:31,380
I need to fill
this thing out perfectly,
264
00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:32,807
so my boss
will get off my back.
265
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:34,143
Are you a minor?
How old are you?
266
00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,780
I'm 610.
I'm a highlander.
267
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:37,946
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna put that in there.
268
00:10:37,947 --> 00:10:40,182
And then you're gonna be tried
as an adult highlander.
269
00:10:40,183 --> 00:10:42,384
And they're gonna cut
your head off.
270
00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:43,586
Is that what you want?
271
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,857
I hate to be the bearer
of bad news,
272
00:10:45,858 --> 00:10:48,280
but your psychic
friend's predictions
273
00:10:48,290 --> 00:10:49,698
about the drug case
were wrong,
274
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,770
which means all
of her predictions are wrong.
275
00:10:51,804 --> 00:10:54,872
Mm-mm. No way.
She's never wrong.
276
00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:56,906
We found the cocaine
behind a green hamper.
277
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,944
Never said green
or the letter "H."
278
00:10:58,978 --> 00:11:02,510
Mm-hmm, she said
"blue" and "yellow," Charles.
279
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,286
I don't know if there's
any kindergarteners present,
280
00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:06,722
but those two colors combined
make green.
281
00:11:06,723 --> 00:11:10,527
She also mentioned
the letters "L" and "B,"
282
00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:13,866
and another name
for a hamper is...
283
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,903
Lady bin?
284
00:11:16,904 --> 00:11:18,500
Laundry basket.
285
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,742
Oh, little boo-boo.
286
00:11:19,776 --> 00:11:22,146
Can you go be depressed
over there?
287
00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,648
You're bumming out
my whole area.
288
00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:26,882
Baby, I've got
some bad news.
289
00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:31,754
Someone painted a giant penis
on our minivan.
290
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:34,523
No, you cannot have
an SUV now.
291
00:11:34,524 --> 00:11:36,926
Those things roll, baby.
They roll!
292
00:11:36,927 --> 00:11:39,960
Hey, look at this.
293
00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:41,000
Your prints were
on file.
294
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,174
Nice to meet you,
Trevor Podolski.
295
00:11:44,175 --> 00:11:49,446
Oh, Podolski, just like deputy
police commissioner Podolski.
296
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:53,519
Your father is deputy
police commissioner Podolski.
297
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,989
I'm not sure
how things work here,
298
00:11:55,990 --> 00:11:59,600
but does that mean
that your career is in my hands?
299
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:01,798
Okay, you know what?
300
00:12:01,799 --> 00:12:02,967
Yes.
301
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:09,668
20.2 kilos.
302
00:12:09,669 --> 00:12:10,969
I feel like
we could round up to 21.
303
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,373
Or we could round down
to 20,
304
00:12:14,374 --> 00:12:18,430
take the extra 0.2,
sell it to our friends.
305
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:24,520
I'll call the D.A.
Rosa, you log this in.
306
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,654
Charles, maybe watch Gina.
307
00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,230
So what are
you doing tonight?
308
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,994
Nothing.
What about you...
309
00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:32,330
Are doing tonight?
310
00:12:32,364 --> 00:12:35,170
Nothing.
311
00:12:35,204 --> 00:12:36,538
Carlene.
312
00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:41,420
Whelp, I hope you find
something to do.
313
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:46,215
I'm gonna pee.
That's what I'm doing tonight.
314
00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:48,651
No.
315
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,689
Deputy commissioner's son, huh?
316
00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:55,524
His decision to target cop cars
makes a lot more sense now.
317
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,891
We gotta let him walk,
right?
318
00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:58,525
He defaced
nine police vehicles,
319
00:12:58,526 --> 00:12:59,825
and you caught him
red-handed.
320
00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:01,857
Why would you let him walk?
321
00:13:01,858 --> 00:13:04,759
Captain, I did all the work
on this perfectly.
322
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,828
I mean, my report
has over 25 pages
323
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,666
of meticulous research,
diagrams, and maps.
324
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:13,572
I even put an "about the author"
section on the back.
325
00:13:13,606 --> 00:13:16,420
I did everything
you asked me to do,
326
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,510
but this is
above my pay grade.
327
00:13:17,511 --> 00:13:19,450
You gotta make the call.
328
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:22,514
You're the arresting officer.
It's your call.
329
00:13:22,515 --> 00:13:24,716
I told you to do
every part of your job,
330
00:13:24,717 --> 00:13:27,186
and making this call
is part of your job.
331
00:13:27,187 --> 00:13:30,691
- Yeah, but you think I should process him.
- Mm-hmm.
332
00:13:30,692 --> 00:13:32,426
Well, if I do,
the deputy commissioner
333
00:13:32,427 --> 00:13:33,961
could ruin my career,
and I'll end up on the streets
334
00:13:33,962 --> 00:13:35,864
selling my beautiful body
for a can of beans.
335
00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:37,567
Mm-hmm.
336
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:40,705
Has anyone ever told you
you look exactly like a statue?
337
00:13:40,706 --> 00:13:42,730
Yes.
338
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:45,777
Man, you were totally right
about the cocaine,
339
00:13:45,778 --> 00:13:47,713
and you were also right
about Rosa.
340
00:13:47,714 --> 00:13:49,448
Who's Rosa?
The woman I...
341
00:13:49,482 --> 00:13:51,416
The woman who doesn't
love him back.
342
00:13:51,417 --> 00:13:52,884
Oh.
Yes, that woman.
343
00:13:52,885 --> 00:13:54,652
You know, it can be a burden
to always know
344
00:13:54,653 --> 00:13:56,153
what's gonna happen
in the future.
345
00:13:56,154 --> 00:13:57,721
Don't get out
of the chair.
346
00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:00,125
I just had a vision
of you leaving this chair
347
00:14:00,126 --> 00:14:01,760
and getting
seriously injured.
348
00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:03,294
Oh, my God.
349
00:14:03,329 --> 00:14:05,428
I should probably wheel you
back to your desk.
350
00:14:05,462 --> 00:14:07,563
That is a great idea.
Wheel you off a bridge.
351
00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:09,640
I'm kidding.
352
00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:11,397
♪ Oh, you're alone
353
00:14:11,398 --> 00:14:13,901
♪ Uh-oh, you're alone
for life ♪
354
00:14:13,902 --> 00:14:15,905
So here are my options.
355
00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:18,507
One, I process
Podolski's kid,
356
00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:20,275
he fires me, and I spend
the rest of my career
357
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,113
as a Detective, third grade,
which is literally pathetic.
358
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:25,886
No offense, Hitchcock.
None taken.
359
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,900
Option two,
I let him walk,
360
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:29,325
and I spend the rest
of my life with Holt
361
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,260
as my babysitter.
362
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,950
Honestly, when I think about
spending the rest of my life
363
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,596
with a babysitter,
364
00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:37,320
she's kind of a cute blonde
named Erica,
365
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:38,502
and she always has
pizza money
366
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,871
and lets me stay up as late
as I want.
367
00:14:39,872 --> 00:14:41,475
How old are you
in this scenario?
368
00:14:41,476 --> 00:14:43,545
Anyway, the point is
Holt cares more
369
00:14:43,546 --> 00:14:46,114
about whether I
"do my job right"
370
00:14:46,115 --> 00:14:47,817
than whether I have a job
at all.
371
00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:49,186
So I'm taking suggestions.
372
00:14:49,187 --> 00:14:51,560
I say piss off Holt,
373
00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:53,580
so we get to watch your career
end right in front of us.
374
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:54,893
Okay, thank you
for that, Santiago.
375
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,362
I'm gonna put you down
for "don't arrest,"
376
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,864
and I'm also going
to put your phone number
377
00:14:57,865 --> 00:14:59,367
on every urinal
in Rikers.
378
00:14:59,368 --> 00:15:01,837
Don't arrest him.
Just smack him. Hard.
379
00:15:01,838 --> 00:15:03,305
With a phone book
on a body part
380
00:15:03,306 --> 00:15:04,804
no one can see,
you know what I'm saying?
381
00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:06,706
So you're suggesting
police brutality?
382
00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,909
Ha, ha, I guess so, yeah.
Why?
383
00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:10,911
- Hey, Scully.
- Yeah?
384
00:15:10,912 --> 00:15:12,482
You want this collar?
Paperwork's all done,
385
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:15,151
and it's perfect.
The Podolski kid?
386
00:15:15,152 --> 00:15:16,986
Are you kidding?
I just gave him my lunch.
387
00:15:16,987 --> 00:15:19,855
Okay.
Boyle, what do you think?
388
00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,990
I don't know, man.
I'm lost.
389
00:15:21,991 --> 00:15:24,900
The universe is
a cruel and vexing puzzle.
390
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:26,423
I-I'm at the whim
of the cosmos.
391
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:29,161
All right, I'm gonna put
you down for "bummer,"
392
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:33,698
and you can hang out in
that category all by yourself.
393
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,399
Hey, everyone.
394
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,169
Hey, Jake, there is a very sexy,
angry official here,
395
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:41,400
deputy commissioner Podolski.
396
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,775
He's asking for you.
Very angry.
397
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,578
Elderly, sexy, furious.
398
00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:50,914
Well, my career
is over.
399
00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:53,514
See you at the bottom,
Hitchcock. No offense.
400
00:15:53,515 --> 00:15:56,613
No, none taken.
401
00:15:58,800 --> 00:15:59,347
Deputy commissioner.
402
00:15:59,348 --> 00:16:00,447
Where's my son?
403
00:16:00,448 --> 00:16:02,116
He is at my desk,
404
00:16:02,117 --> 00:16:04,621
enjoying a nice glass
of bubbly water
405
00:16:04,622 --> 00:16:06,858
and some chocolate I was saving
for a special occasion.
406
00:16:06,859 --> 00:16:08,529
Hey, Peralta,
when you're done,
407
00:16:08,530 --> 00:16:10,700
can you help me wrap up
this massive cocaine bust
408
00:16:10,701 --> 00:16:13,302
I just pulled off?
Thanks.
409
00:16:13,303 --> 00:16:15,871
Oh, deputy commissioner,
didn't see you there.
410
00:16:15,872 --> 00:16:17,472
Sorry for interrupting.
411
00:16:17,473 --> 00:16:19,140
Amy Santiago.
412
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:22,878
Trevor, what'd you do
this time?
413
00:16:22,879 --> 00:16:24,113
Nothing.
414
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:26,349
There you have it.
He said he did nothing.
415
00:16:26,384 --> 00:16:28,984
So I caught him red-handed
doing nothing?
416
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:29,984
I'm saying maybe
it's a possibility
417
00:16:29,985 --> 00:16:31,450
you made a mistake.
418
00:16:31,484 --> 00:16:32,918
You know, normally,
I would agree with you,
419
00:16:32,919 --> 00:16:34,821
but I've been
pretty detail-oriented
420
00:16:34,822 --> 00:16:35,923
the last few hours.
421
00:16:35,924 --> 00:16:37,460
You might not
understand this,
422
00:16:37,461 --> 00:16:39,898
but Trevor is
a special kid.
423
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,632
He makes straight "A"s.
He's going to Duke next year.
424
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:44,734
Lacrosse scholarship.
Oh.
425
00:16:44,735 --> 00:16:47,505
Sometimes, boys
just need to be boys.
426
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,611
You do realize
he did thousands of dollars
427
00:16:50,612 --> 00:16:52,646
worth of property damage,
though,
428
00:16:52,647 --> 00:16:54,281
to police vehicles.
429
00:16:54,282 --> 00:16:56,249
Look, I think
we can all agree
430
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,352
that I'm ordering you
to let this slide
431
00:16:58,353 --> 00:16:59,989
because nothing happened.
432
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:01,993
This is officially
out of your hands.
433
00:17:01,994 --> 00:17:05,433
Would you actually mind
just checking out my report?
434
00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:06,634
It's pretty thorough,
435
00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:09,135
and I spent over an hour
on fonts.
436
00:17:09,136 --> 00:17:10,302
Kinda snazzy, so...
437
00:17:10,303 --> 00:17:12,102
Oh, thank you.
438
00:17:12,103 --> 00:17:13,269
I'll get right to it.
439
00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:15,438
Thanks.
Trevor, let's go.
440
00:17:15,439 --> 00:17:18,141
Have a good one.
441
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:27,586
Choo.
442
00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:28,687
Yes.
443
00:17:28,722 --> 00:17:30,322
What's up with the chair?
444
00:17:30,323 --> 00:17:33,791
Um, Carlene predicted
if I get out of this chair,
445
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:36,127
I'd get badly hurt,
so I'm not chancing it.
446
00:17:36,161 --> 00:17:40,630
Oh, man.
There's no pudding cups left.
447
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,265
Ah!
What'd you do that for?
448
00:17:42,299 --> 00:17:45,633
There.
Now you're hurt in this chair.
449
00:17:45,634 --> 00:17:47,101
You can get hurt anywhere,
Boyle.
450
00:17:47,102 --> 00:17:48,937
And if you do,
it won't be
451
00:17:48,938 --> 00:17:52,876
because some shoe salesman
predicted it.
452
00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:55,916
You make
your own destiny.
453
00:18:00,153 --> 00:18:03,287
Well, we don't have to worry
about Podolski's son anymore.
454
00:18:03,322 --> 00:18:05,189
The case is officially
out of my hands.
455
00:18:05,190 --> 00:18:06,356
No charges filed.
456
00:18:06,357 --> 00:18:07,960
Why is there yogurt
on this?
457
00:18:07,994 --> 00:18:09,695
The deputy commissioner
threw my report
458
00:18:09,696 --> 00:18:11,430
in Terry's trash can,
459
00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:13,960
and he'd been eating
yogurt earlier.
460
00:18:13,131 --> 00:18:16,640
Terry loves yogurt.
461
00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:18,467
Something wrong?
Kinda, yeah.
462
00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:20,204
I called six precincts
about this kid.
463
00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:22,700
He's been brought in
a dozen times.
464
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,440
Theft, vandalism,
drunken disorderly,
465
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:25,478
but he's never
been processed.
466
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,311
His daddy comes in
and bails him out every time.
467
00:18:28,312 --> 00:18:29,678
He's a lucky little jerk.
468
00:18:29,679 --> 00:18:31,311
No, I wouldn't say
he was lucky.
469
00:18:31,312 --> 00:18:32,879
I feel bad for this kid.
470
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,847
I mean,
what kind of father
471
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:36,215
cares so little
for his son
472
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:39,520
that he lets him get away
with everything?
473
00:18:39,521 --> 00:18:41,488
Well, he's someone else's
problem now.
474
00:18:41,489 --> 00:18:45,290
Like you said,
it's out of your hands.
475
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,291
All right, I see
what you're trying to do,
476
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,956
but it's not gonna work.
477
00:18:47,957 --> 00:18:49,792
I'm not going to arrest him.
I'm going to arrest him!
478
00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:52,162
- You want backup?
- Yes.
479
00:18:57,318 --> 00:18:59,555
What is this?
You can't do this.
480
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,230
Get that thing
outta here.
481
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:02,391
Excuse me, sir.
482
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,427
Trevor Podolski,
you're under arrest
483
00:19:04,428 --> 00:19:06,163
for vandalism
and destruction of property.
484
00:19:06,164 --> 00:19:07,598
What... dad!
What are you doing?
485
00:19:07,599 --> 00:19:08,801
I told you
to back off, Peralta.
486
00:19:08,836 --> 00:19:10,973
First off,
the name's Santiago,
487
00:19:10,974 --> 00:19:13,100
Detective Amy Santiago.
488
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,911
Second, I'm arresting
your son,
489
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:19,513
which, as I say it aloud,
seems like an unwise choice,
490
00:19:19,514 --> 00:19:21,349
but it's the one
I'm making.
491
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:23,552
Once again,
my name is Amy Santiago.
492
00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:25,824
You're being stupid, Peralta.
Don't be stupid.
493
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,660
I can make
your life miserable.
494
00:19:27,694 --> 00:19:30,431
Commissioner, please don't talk
to my Detective in that Tone.
495
00:19:30,432 --> 00:19:31,998
If you have a complaint,
you can take it up with me.
496
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,633
You just made yourself
a very powerful enemy, Holt.
497
00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:38,368
I'm gonna be watching you,
both of you, like a hawk.
498
00:19:38,369 --> 00:19:39,469
You're gonna have to try
a little harder
499
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,500
if you wanna scare me.
500
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,307
I've been an openly gay cop
since 1987,
501
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,376
so you're not the first
superior officer to threaten me.
502
00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:48,211
You know
how I'm still standing here?
503
00:19:48,212 --> 00:19:50,113
'Cause I do my job,
504
00:19:50,114 --> 00:19:52,717
and I do it right.
505
00:19:52,718 --> 00:19:54,120
Damn, son!
506
00:19:54,121 --> 00:19:56,880
Don't say "son."
Sorry.
507
00:19:56,123 --> 00:19:57,823
Deputy commissioner,
if you wanna pick Trevor up,
508
00:19:57,857 --> 00:20:00,692
he'll be
at the nine-nine.
509
00:20:00,693 --> 00:20:03,570
Let's go, fartman.
510
00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:06,494
Carlene was wrong, Gina.
511
00:20:06,495 --> 00:20:09,198
Rosa said it herself...
I'm in charge of my own destiny.
512
00:20:09,199 --> 00:20:10,868
That means she wants me
to make a move.
513
00:20:10,903 --> 00:20:13,380
Mm, but Carlene
was also right.
514
00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:15,474
You did get hurt
'cause Rosa punched you.
515
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,141
And the fact that Rosa
punched you
516
00:20:17,142 --> 00:20:18,542
means she does not
like you.
517
00:20:18,577 --> 00:20:21,309
No, no, she punched me
to prove Carlene wrong.
518
00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:23,310
Move.
519
00:20:23,311 --> 00:20:24,678
Oh, wait,
I take it back.
520
00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:26,479
She definitely is
into you.
521
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,617
So much chemistry.
I know, it's crazy.
522
00:20:29,651 --> 00:20:31,153
All right, let's get
this meeting started.
523
00:20:31,154 --> 00:20:32,322
I'm not late.
I'm here.
524
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:42,406
Right on time.
525
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,342
You're out of uniform,
Peralta.
526
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,412
Baby steps, Captain.
527
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,232
Baby steps.
36217
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.