Original subtitles

What's the idea of kicking me?

I didn't kick you, somebody kicked me.

You suppose that pudding-head kicked us?

How could he? He's sound asleep.

Certainly I'm sound asleep.

Then how come you're talking?

I'm talking in my sleep.

Whoa!

What's the idea? What's the matter with you?

I never get any rest. Yeah?

Get dressed, we arrive in Hollywood in an hour.

Ooh, and I can hardly wait.

Will I be a sensation in pictures.

Mmm.

Come on, get breakfast ready, Gable. Get out.

You wouldn't hit me like that if I was Gable, would ya?

No, like this.

Oh!

Oh, Mutiny in the Boxcar, eh?

Get gone!

Gee, I sure will miss this old car.

I wonder who loaned us their furniture

without knowing it.

The cops get us, you'll find out.

Hurry up with that breakfast, now.

Hey, get that iron on.

I want my white pants pressed.

I wanna look my best when I get to Hollywood.

How we gonna get in pictures?

We know nothing about movies.

There's a couple of thousand people in pictures now

know nothing about it.

Three more won't make any difference.

Besides, with my ideas...

I'll revolutionize the business.

Hey, fellas,

ain't I getting to look more and more like Barrymore?

Kiss me, my Caliban.

Hey, break it up.

You, porcupine. Come on, press my pants.

I wanna look the berries when I go into the movies.

Hurry it up.

Oh, boy, it feels great to be clean.

Hey, did you see a wheat cake?

Don't tell me you lost it.

Yeah, I had it in the pan.

I flipped it up and it never came down.

Ooh. There it is.

You can have it, I'll make another.

No, I think you'd better take it.

Oh, well, I'll make...

Get out! Get out! Oh! Whoa!

Oh.

Say...

What's the matter?

They're swell.

Put 'em over my arm.

Oh, you like 'em, eh?

Yeah, they...

What'd you do to my pants?

Nothing, I gave 'em a good pressing.

Oh, yeah, so you did. Yeah...

Good pressing, huh? Oh!

I'll murder you. Oh...

Whoa!

Say, that's hot!

Yes, that's right.

I'm sorry, Mr. Rath.

I forgot about this wire.

It came last night after you left.

"In accordance with our new policy,

"we are sending you Mr. Smith and his two assistants,

"who will take complete charge of the studio. Stop.

"You will be under their orders

"and are to give them your complete cooperation

"in everything they may wish to do. Stop.

They will arrive tomorrow at 2:00."

You idiot. You nearly got me into a fine mess.

Sorry, sir.

"Tomorrow at 2:00"?

That means today.

Go and prepare an office, and see that they have

everything they may possibly want.

Yes, sir. I'll order three blond secretaries.

Yes...

Gee, that guy was tough.

Let's try this one.

I don't see any watchmen around.

Hey, hey, hey!

Now beat it and don't try to get in here again.

This picture business is tougher to get into than I figured.

Don't worry. A bad beginning is a good ending.

Certainly.

If at first you don't succeed,

keep on sucking till you do succeed.

Now, we gotta get into this studio,

by hook or crook.

Say, you remember how we got in the circus last winter?

He's got it.

That'll work. You said it.

Come on.

Say, uh, I'm from the newspapers.

Would you mind posing for a photograph?

Why, sure.

Thanks. Now look up at the top of the building

and shade your eyes with your right hand.

That's fine. Now raise your right leg.

Hold it. That's swell.

That's beautiful. Swell.

Don't move, now.

What are you doing, posing for a newspaper ad?

Why, I'm...

It's those three guys.

Watch that gate.

It's about time those New York executives arrived.

Have you heard from them?

No, sir, not yet.

Well, here we are.

Oh, will I show these guys how to make pictures.

Gentlemen...

welcome to Hollywood.

I've been expecting you.

Welcome, welcome.

I've received my instructions from New York.

Gentlemen, the studio is yours.

And I shall do everything within my power

to help you make better pictures.

How did you enjoy your trip across the continent?

All the comforts of home. Oh.

Pinch me, I think I'm dreaming.

Shut up. Act important.

Dear Santa Claus...

What's the matter with you?

Give me that.

Good.

There now. Ooh.

Shh.

Gentlemen, will you join us in a toast?

I don't like toast,

that black stuff gets in my teeth.

Come on, I'll gouge your eyes out.

Come on.

A little toast to your success.

Oh, "sodie" pop.

You can get it open? And how.

I used to be a corker.

Here.

Come here.

Give me that.

Oh!

Camera.

Oh, Marie, you may go.

Come in.

Oh, my darling.

Sweetheart.

At last they're doing it right.

I've dreamed of the day that we could fly away togeth...

Hiya, fellas, this Swiney's set?

Hmm.

Why, the very idea.

What is the meaning of all this?!

Who are you?

Hiya, toots.

That'll explain the whole thing.

Do you mind if I continue?

It's all right with me, but let's get going.

Action. Oh, my darling.

Sweetheart.

Cut, cut, cut. You ain't shooting the picture right.

Why, what's the matter with it?! There's no action.

It was no good from the first kiss.

Kiss?! What do you know about kisses?!

Tell him what we know about kisses.

That's enough.

Now, uh, stick around and learn something.

Come here, toots.

You watch me.

That's, uh, sorta the hit-and-run type.

No, that's not what he wants. Watch this.

See? It's a sort of a stolen base idea.

That ain't it.

With me, it's a sacrifice.

Oh, Mr. Howard...

Take it easy. It was a great fight, killer.

Come outta here.

Easy, easy. Wait.

Oh, oh, oh... Say, he's passing out.

Uh, yes. Tell me your name, kid, so I can tell your mother.

My mother knows my name.

Come on.

What's the matter with you, wise guy?

Where do you think you are?

All right, now show these puppets

how to put action behind their words.

Get yourself all set now.

Commence.

Oh, my darling.

Sweetheart.

Oh, will ya look at that, Swiney?

The name is Swinehart, please.

Yeah.

I've dreamed of the day that we could

fly away from here...

together.

Oh, I bet you tell that to all the girls.

Ow! Quiet, you.

Just the actions. No words.

Go ahead.

Oh, but alas, we cannot.

I have no money.

Oh, darling,

money doesn't mean everything.

Oh, boy, is that a scene, Pigheart?

Swine, Swine!

Yeah. Swine, pig, it's all the same.

Swinehart, Bigheart, Pigheart, Heartburn.

Who cares?

We'll make it like that.

I quit!

You can't quit.

And why not?!

'Cause you're fired.

You can't fire him.

Why not? He quit.

Oh!

Say, listen. How are we going to finish this picture?

Now, don't worry about that.

I'll direct the thing myself.

Well, you can count me out.

One, two, three and four is 10. The winner.

Get out. Ow!

You're out.

I'm through.

Well, you can get a new face for me.

I'm through with this nonsense.

Now where are we going to get a new face for her?

I got it.

The face from the barroom floor.

Pick out two fingers.

One, two. Ow!

Mm. Ahh!

Oh, is that a scene, or is that a scene?

Yeah...

♪ La-la-la ♪

♪ Don't cry My baby ♪

♪ La-la-la... ♪

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Come in.

Darling, I have come for you.

Sweetheart,

come with me and fly away.

Oh, not that.

You're breaking my heart.

Please, darling. Please.

Ow! Ooh. Ooh.

Oh...

colossal, terrific.

Aw, man, that was great.

When the boss sees that scene, will he go nuts.

Here's a wire, sir.

Oh, thanks. Heh.

"Smith plane grounded, account of fog. Stop.

Will not arrive until tomorrow. Regards, Burton Fisk Pheasant."

Well, those three executives won't arrive unti...

Oh, say, who are those other three guys?

I-I don't know, sir.

Call that gateman. Get all the gatemen.

Come on!

I told you there's nothing to this picture racket.

We'll show these Hollywood guys how to make pictures.

Certainly.

What'll we do now?

Think of something.

Come on, use your head.

Ooh!

I threw them out once, boss. So did I.

And they tried to crash my gate too.

Well, you'll have a chance to throw 'em out again.

I think our genius ain't appreciated here.

Let's scram.

- Ooh! - Hey!

Come on, this way, boys.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Whoa.

Wait a minute. Shh. Hey, let's hide in here.

Hurry up and lock the door.

Now they'll never find us.

Certainly. We're safe in here.

Just like in our mother's arms.

What are ya growling about?

I didn't growl. Not me.

Ooh...

Oh! Oh! Ooh...

Oh, ah, let me out.

Let me outta here! Let me...

Let's get out of here.

Oh, boy.

Oh!