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With the stars...
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and...
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00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:32,898
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
4
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Hi, Alice.
5
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,372
Oh, Trix!
6
00:01:18,762 --> 00:01:19,711
You scared me.
7
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,013
I thought it was Ralph.
8
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,659
I've been looking
for a safe hiding place
9
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,782
for his Christmas present.
10
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,867
Oh. Well, did you find out?
11
00:01:25,936 --> 00:01:27,035
Find out what?
12
00:01:27,104 --> 00:01:28,370
What Ralph's giving you.
13
00:01:28,438 --> 00:01:29,715
Oh, no. It's only Christmas Eve.
14
00:01:29,739 --> 00:01:31,351
We always exchange
our gifts, you know,
15
00:01:31,375 --> 00:01:32,468
on Christmas morning. Oh.
16
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,192
Would you like to
know what Ed gave me?
17
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,072
Don't tell me he's given
you your gift already.
18
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,946
Oh, he couldn't
wait to give it to me.
19
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,659
Well, what did he give you?
20
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,760
You ready? Uh-huh.
21
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:44,069
An orange juice squeezer.
22
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,104
An orange juice squeezer?
23
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,273
Oh, this isn't an ordinary
orange juice squeezer,
24
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:51,009
this is a statue of Napoleon.
25
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,410
Napoleon?
26
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,314
Yeah. You see, you squeeze
the orange on Napoleon's head
27
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,915
and the juice squirts
out of his ears.
28
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,652
Well, Trixie, you gotta
admit it's different.
29
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,021
Oh, it's different all
right, it's downright crazy.
30
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,990
Hey, Alice, have
you got any oranges?
31
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,893
I haven't got a one and
Ed's dying for me to try it out.
32
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,395
Oh, yeah, I think
so, Alice. Let's see.
33
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,441
Yeah, let's see, will
these be enough, Trix?
34
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,076
Oh, that'll be wonderful.
Oh, three, swell.
35
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,567
Gee, thanks a lot!
36
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,636
I'll see you later. Okay.
37
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:18,770
Bye. Bye-bye.
38
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,144
( humming)
39
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:16,728
Oh, Ralph!
40
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:17,797
Ah!
41
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,550
You caught me hiding
your Christmas gift.
42
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,053
Ralph, I hid your
present under there!
43
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,922
You got yours under there, too?
44
00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:28,723
Yes!
45
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,058
There's a riot.
46
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,060
The two of us hiding
our Christmas gifts,
47
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,962
like we're a couple
kids, and we couldn't wait
48
00:03:34,031 --> 00:03:35,375
to see them until
tomorrow. Uh-huh.
49
00:03:35,399 --> 00:03:38,083
( chuckling)
50
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,684
What are you giving me?
51
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:44,072
You'll have to wait 'til
tomorrow morning to find out.
52
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:47,375
'Kay, I can wait. No hurry.
53
00:03:48,712 --> 00:03:50,045
All right, Ralph.
54
00:03:50,113 --> 00:03:52,547
Looks like I'll have to hide
your present someplace else.
55
00:03:52,615 --> 00:03:54,226
What do you mean hide
it? You don't have to hide it!
56
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,636
I'm no baby, I can wait
'til tomorrow to see it.
57
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,588
Well, all right.
58
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,901
Look, Ralph, I got to go
up to Trixie's for a minute.
59
00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:05,260
So, while I'm gone, why don't
you go inside and wash up?
60
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,478
All right.
61
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:46,251
Well, I guess Mommy
will just have to hide
62
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,453
your present someplace else.
63
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,321
Looks like I can't
trust you, Ralph.
64
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,274
You can't trust me? Huh!
65
00:04:52,342 --> 00:04:53,808
That's a fine thing
for you to say.
66
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,892
You can't trust me.
67
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,401
You're the one
that can't be trusted.
68
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,229
You said you
were going upstairs.
69
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,501
Look, Ralph, will you hurry
up and finish trimming the tree?
70
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,737
People might start
dropping in later.
71
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,071
TRIXIE: Alice!
72
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,840
Alice!
73
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,087
What do you want, Trix?
74
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:13,678
You got a couple of onions?
75
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,080
Yeah. I'll bring 'em right up.
76
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,516
What's she think this
is, a grocery store?
77
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:31,597
( door closes)
78
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,802
Well, that proves
it, that settles it.
79
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:42,640
You had to hide your
gift, and I didn't hide mine.
80
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,675
That proves just one thing,
81
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,878
I can trust you but you
think that you can't trust me.
82
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,564
Oh, I can trust you, Ralph.
83
00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:52,233
Hmm. Then why did you hide it?
84
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:53,913
All right, to prove how
much I trust you, Ralph,
85
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,903
I'll tell you where
I put the present.
86
00:05:55,973 --> 00:05:58,906
It's in the bedroom closet
on the shelf behind my hatbox.
87
00:05:58,976 --> 00:06:00,075
I don't care where it is.
88
00:06:00,143 --> 00:06:02,063
Doesn't make any
difference to me.
89
00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:12,253
( spring snaps)
90
00:06:12,322 --> 00:06:14,255
( Ralph yells)
91
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,212
Ah!
92
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,280
Ah!
93
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,857
All right, Wisenheimer.
94
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:34,926
Two can play at that game.
95
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,905
Hey, good to see
you, Ralphie boy.
96
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,846
And, uh, Merry Christmas
Eve to you, Ed Norton!
97
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,916
Ah, I can see you're trimming
up the old tree there, Ralphie boy.
98
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,818
Yeah, it's gonna be a beauty.
99
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,586
Sure is.
100
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,755
What do you got
behind your back?
101
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,924
I got a Christmas
present for you.
102
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:08,026
Oh, well, hand it over.
103
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,528
Huh? I say, hand it over.
104
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,330
Ain't you got nothing for me?
105
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,867
Yes, I've got something for you.
106
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:17,435
What?
107
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:21,339
One, two, three...
Merry Christmas.
108
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:30,248
Well, I suppose we both
gave us the same thing, a tie.
109
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,984
I didn't get you no necktie.
110
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,586
You didn't? What's in here?
111
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,138
I bought you a pair of spats.
112
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:43,811
Spats? What did
you get me spats for?
113
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,992
Well, let's face it, Ralph,
you're not the easiest guy
114
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:47,360
in the world to
shop for, you know.
115
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,717
It-it-it's pretty tough to
get a guy something that...
116
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:52,220
Well, a guy that's
got everything.
117
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:56,157
Well, merry Christmas, Ralph.
118
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,892
Merry Christmas, Norton.
119
00:07:57,961 --> 00:08:00,245
Anyway, I know it
came from your heart.
120
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,580
No, it didn't, it came
from the fat man shop.
121
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,649
Never mind.
122
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,164
Hey, uh... What?
123
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,838
What did Alice give you?
124
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,456
Oh, we don't exchange
our gifts until tomorrow.
125
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,669
Oh, no? Yeah. Some kind of
126
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:14,792
a fetish she's got.
127
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:15,893
Oh, yeah.
128
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,863
But wait 'til you
see what I got her.
129
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:19,864
Yeah?
130
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,533
When she sees this, she flips.
131
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,068
Absolutely flips.
132
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,603
What'd you get her?
133
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,071
It's under the icebox.
134
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,841
Mind if I take a look?
135
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,843
Be my guest. ( laughs)
136
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,046
I can't wait 'til she sees this.
137
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:40,285
Ooooh... ooh!
138
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:49,094
Well, that is beautiful,
Ralph. I mean it.
139
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,930
You know something else?
140
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,642
You know, it was a smart idea
141
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,734
of you to put that
underneath there,
142
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,013
because in case accidentally
143
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,581
if she goes in
there and finds it,
144
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:02,207
she'll just think it's a
pan for under the icebox.
145
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,541
It's novel, too, you know.
146
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,254
I mean, she's not gonna
get another present
147
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,056
from anyone like
this. She couldn't.
148
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,913
No one would have a
need for two of those.
149
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:09,914
No.
150
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,315
No.
151
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,316
Hi, Ed.
152
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,551
( pan clanks on floor)
153
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,304
What you got behind your back?
154
00:09:16,373 --> 00:09:17,838
Oh, nothing, Alice.
155
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:20,152
Oh, come on, Ed, I know you
got something behind your back.
156
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:22,543
I got nothing at all. Honest.
157
00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:26,114
Ed, I know you're hiding
something behind your back.
158
00:09:26,182 --> 00:09:29,283
Well, jig's up, Ralph.
159
00:09:29,352 --> 00:09:31,252
Merry Christmas, Alice.
160
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,490
What's this?
161
00:09:35,558 --> 00:09:37,525
Well... it's your
Christmas present.
162
00:09:37,593 --> 00:09:39,360
Not from me, it's from Ralph.
163
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,112
Oh, why don't you shut up.
164
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,181
Pay no attention
to him, he's a nut.
165
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,617
That's always been under there.
166
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,454
That isn't the gift!
167
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,422
I put her gift way in the back.
168
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,891
Oh. Here, I'll show you.
169
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,460
( mousetrap snaps)
170
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:56,694
( yells)
171
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,429
( yells)
172
00:09:58,498 --> 00:09:59,498
( grunts)
173
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:02,333
Oh, that's a beauty!
174
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,485
Oh, stop it!
175
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,143
That isn't the
gift, this is gift.
176
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,479
Oh. I'm, I'm sorry, Ralph.
177
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,681
Oh, I-I see now, You hid
the present under there,
178
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:20,351
and you put... the mousetrap
was a clever ruse of yours
179
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,019
in case some dope
is stupid enough
180
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,454
to stick his hand in there.
181
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,391
Wait 'til you see this thing.
182
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,392
Mm.
183
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,627
I can't wait 'til she sees it.
184
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:30,696
You mean...
185
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,014
There it is. Oh!
186
00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:37,351
That is beautiful.
187
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:38,953
Certainly is.
188
00:10:39,021 --> 00:10:40,021
What is it?
189
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:45,809
What is it? It's a box
to keep hairpins in.
190
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:49,747
See? It's got a little secret
compartment for bobby pins.
191
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,150
Boy, what'll they
think of next, huh?
192
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,851
You know, when
I bought this thing,
193
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,220
the guy told me it's all
handmade, you know.
194
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,089
It's 2, 000 matches
glued together.
195
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,257
Oh.
196
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,391
Look at that thing.
197
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,937
And he said it was
made across the seas.
198
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,272
You know, I thought
he was kidding me,
199
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,740
but right there, it
says "Made in Japan."
200
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,008
There it is, in black and white.
201
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,952
I'm telling you,
this-this is something
202
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,435
that a girl would not go
out and buy for herself.
203
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,583
You can say that again.
And another thing about this,
204
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,004
the guy told me that this is
205
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,839
the only one of
these in the world.
206
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,942
That at one time,
this was in the house
207
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,277
of the emperor of Japan.
208
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,045
It was smuggled
into this country.
209
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,046
No kidding.
210
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,181
I'm telling you.
211
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,982
I just can't wait to
see the expression
212
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,751
on her face when she gets this.
213
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,480
I'd like to see the expression
214
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:30,216
on the emperor of Japan's face
215
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,106
when he finds out it's missing!
216
00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:33,641
Hey. What?
217
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,421
If you're so anxious
to give her the gift,
218
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,190
why don't you do it
now? Exchange the gifts!
219
00:11:37,214 --> 00:11:38,624
Trixie and I have
done it already.
220
00:11:38,648 --> 00:11:41,049
Yeah, but she likes to give
the gifts tomorrow, you know.
221
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,884
Tomorrow may be too late!
222
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:44,496
The emperor's probably
got a bunch of spies
223
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,199
on the trail of this
thing right now!
224
00:11:46,223 --> 00:11:47,938
Maybe you're right.
225
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:49,674
I'm dying to see the
look on her kisser
226
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,036
when she sees this. Go ahead!
227
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,610
Alice, honey!
228
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:53,611
( knock on door)
229
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,213
Oh, come in. ALICE: Yeah.
230
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,914
Oh, hi, Mrs. Stevens.
231
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,727
ALICE: Oh, hello, Mrs.
Stevens, Merry Christmas.
232
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,818
Merry Christmas. I tell
you why I dropped by.
233
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,064
I'm leaving now for Bayonne
234
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,687
to spend Christmas
with my sister,
235
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,234
Uh-huh. and I have a
little something for you
236
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,702
for Christmas that I
wanted to give you.
237
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,025
Oh, you shouldn't have!
238
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,005
Oh, it's nothing, I just
wanted to remember you.
239
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,340
Well, I have
something for you, too.
240
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,364
Oh.
241
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,464
Well, Thanks.
242
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,810
Everybody's giving something.
243
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,678
Well, what do you say, if
we won't see each other
244
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,247
again 'til after Christmas,
we open them now?
245
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,271
All right.
246
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:30,815
Oh, it's lovely, Mrs. Kramden.
A kitchen thermometer!
247
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,450
Just what I needed!
248
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,552
I'm so glad you like it.
249
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,054
Oh, this is beautiful!
250
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,889
Oh... Oh, it's nothing.
251
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,393
MRS. STEVENS: It's
nothing, it's just a trifle.
252
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,106
I just wanted to give
you a little remembrance.
253
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,430
Isn't it beautiful, Ralph?
254
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,466
( stammering)
255
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,435
It... i-it's a box to
keep hairpins in.
256
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,372
And there's a secret... secret
drawer to keep bobby pins in.
257
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,939
Oh. And would you believe it?
258
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:58,909
It's made of 2,000
matches glued together.
259
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,511
Oh, I don't know
how to thank you.
260
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,881
Oh, belie... It's such a
cute gift to give someone.
261
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,526
MRS. STEVENS: Oh,
believe me, it's nothing.
262
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,284
If you want to
get some as gifts,
263
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,752
I got it at that little novelty
store that's selling that.
264
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,366
You know, the one
near the subway station.
265
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,573
ALICE: Oh, yeah.
266
00:13:11,641 --> 00:13:13,336
Well, it was awfully sweet
of you to remember me.
267
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,293
Oh, don't make
such a fuss about it.
268
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:18,863
In fact, I'm kind of embarrassed
after what I gave you.
269
00:13:18,915 --> 00:13:22,583
Well... Well, I must
be running along.
270
00:13:22,652 --> 00:13:23,762
Merry Christmas, everybody.
271
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:26,154
Bye-bye, Mrs. Stevens,
merry Christmas.
272
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,222
Bye.
273
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,258
Gee, that's a cute little thing.
274
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,632
Merry Christmas.
275
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,612
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
276
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,179
♪ Fa la la la la ♪
277
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,347
♪ La la la la ♪
278
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,882
( humming "Deck the Halls")
279
00:13:54,951 --> 00:13:55,951
♪ Fa la la la la... ♪
280
00:13:57,821 --> 00:13:59,721
( continues humming)
281
00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:00,621
♪ Fa la la la la ♪
282
00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:02,390
♪ La la la la. ♪
283
00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:06,093
( continues humming)
284
00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:08,729
Will you stop that?!
285
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,176
What's the matter
with you, anyway?
286
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,800
Sheesh. What a grouch.
287
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:16,704
Compared to you, Scrooge
was a holiday playboy.
288
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,541
What have I got to
be happy about? Huh.
289
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,810
Suppose I'm supposed to
be happy to think that my...
290
00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:25,546
my wife thinks her husband
thinks so much of her
291
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:29,483
that he gives her a gift that some
neighbor brings in from a novelty store?
292
00:14:29,552 --> 00:14:31,397
Well, don't forget
that yours is different.
293
00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:33,887
Yours came from
the emperor's palace.
294
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,890
Can't you get it into
your head, Norton?
295
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,359
I was cheated!
296
00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:41,429
Never came from
any emperor's palace.
297
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,033
What am I gonna do, Norton?
298
00:14:46,101 --> 00:14:47,435
If I only had some money,
299
00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:49,704
there's still time to
get her something.
300
00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:51,305
It's early yet.
301
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,741
Hey, have you got any money?
302
00:14:54,777 --> 00:14:56,544
Don't look at me.
303
00:14:56,612 --> 00:14:57,545
This is Christmastime.
304
00:14:57,613 --> 00:14:58,893
Everybody's busted at this time.
305
00:14:58,948 --> 00:15:00,297
I'm broke, I ain't got no money.
306
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,066
Yeah, I guess you're right.
307
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,170
Everybody's broke.
308
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,974
Funny part about it is, I
didn't have to be broke.
309
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:14,178
I had $22 stashed away, Norton.
310
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,646
Twenty-two!
311
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,882
But I had to be selfish
and think of myself.
312
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:21,585
As soon as I got
that $22 together,
313
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,065
right down I went and I
bought the new bowling ball.
314
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,589
Huh.
315
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,225
I always have
to think of myself.
316
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:31,796
Could've bought Alice a
beautiful present with that $22.
317
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,781
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
318
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,482
I just thought of something.
319
00:15:35,551 --> 00:15:40,154
You know those labels that
say, "Do not open 'til Christmas"?
320
00:15:40,223 --> 00:15:42,089
Yeah?
321
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,691
We get some labels, see?
Put on Alice's present...
322
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,128
"Do not open 'til
after Christmas." See?
323
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,963
Come on, let's get the label.
324
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,842
Wait a minute,
what good'll that do?
325
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:53,034
Tomorrow is Christmas.
326
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:55,202
She don't open it tomorrow, see?
327
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:58,472
Because you don't give
it to her, you sleep all day.
328
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,974
Then she's got to
wait a whole year
329
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,508
before she can
open it up again, see?
330
00:16:01,577 --> 00:16:04,045
And in the meantime, you
can get her another present!
331
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:05,913
( laughing)
332
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:09,394
You're a real riot, Norton!
333
00:16:09,418 --> 00:16:10,752
A regular riot.
334
00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,253
( knock at door)
335
00:16:12,321 --> 00:16:13,988
Come in.
336
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,223
Hey, Uncle Leo.
337
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:16,891
Merry Christmas, Ralph!
338
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,893
Merry Christmas, Uncle Leo.
339
00:16:18,962 --> 00:16:20,061
You know Ed Norton.
340
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:20,895
Hi, Ed.
341
00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:21,964
Happy Yuletide!
342
00:16:22,031 --> 00:16:23,408
Same to you,
Mr. Norton. Same to you.
343
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:26,100
Hey, it's good to see you,
and I'm glad you came.
344
00:16:26,169 --> 00:16:27,835
We got a present for you.
345
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,603
Well, well.
346
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,672
There you are, pal.
347
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,851
Thank you, Ralph. Thank you.
348
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,307
By the way, where is Alice?
349
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:35,221
Oh, she went out. She's
doing a little shopping.
350
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,688
Oh, well, I got a
little something here
351
00:16:36,712 --> 00:16:38,323
for you and Alice
for Christmas, too.
352
00:16:38,347 --> 00:16:39,591
Oh, thank you very
much, Uncle Leo.
353
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:40,893
Hey, why don't you
have some coffee?
354
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,027
She'll be back in a minute.
355
00:16:42,051 --> 00:16:43,262
No, no, no. Thank
you just the same.
356
00:16:43,286 --> 00:16:44,551
I got some more stops to make.
357
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:45,887
Tell her I stopped by.
358
00:16:45,955 --> 00:16:47,554
Well, merry Christmas!
359
00:16:47,623 --> 00:16:48,555
Merry Christmas, pal.
360
00:16:48,624 --> 00:16:49,991
Happy Yuletide.
361
00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:51,270
Nice guy, that
Uncle Leo, ain't he?
362
00:16:51,294 --> 00:16:52,459
He's a sweetheart.
363
00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:53,861
Yeah.
364
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,076
Norton, look at this. What?
365
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,936
A $25 gift certificate for
Wallace's Department Store.
366
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:03,737
25... Oh-hoo-hoo!
367
00:17:03,806 --> 00:17:05,739
This is the answer
to all my problems.
368
00:17:05,808 --> 00:17:07,786
You and Alice can really
get a beautiful present, huh?
369
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:10,578
What do you mean, me
and Alice? This'll do it.
370
00:17:10,646 --> 00:17:12,930
I get a gift for
Alice with this.
371
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,132
Hey, wait a minute.
Ju-Just hold the phone.
372
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,201
Just wait a minute.
373
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,013
If you use this gift certificate
374
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,170
to get Alice a present,
375
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,982
isn't she gonna get
just a little suspicious
376
00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:23,207
that Uncle Leo didn't
give her nothing this year?
377
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,325
You don't understand.
378
00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:26,194
When Tuesday comes
and I go back to work,
379
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,462
I borrow the $25 from
one of the bus drivers.
380
00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:29,909
Then I buy another
gift certificate,
381
00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:31,232
I hand it to her.
382
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,378
I say it slipped my mind
when Uncle Leo gave it to me.
383
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:34,646
Now, look, I haven't
got much time,
384
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:35,953
I got to get right down to it.
385
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:37,922
Okay. Listen, while
you're going down there,
386
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:40,708
I'll finish trimming
up the tree.
387
00:17:40,777 --> 00:17:42,210
Take it easy, Ralph.
388
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,318
Boy, I want to tell you...
389
00:17:43,346 --> 00:17:44,589
Where are you going, Ralph?
390
00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:47,215
Oh, I'm just stepping
out for a little air.
391
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:48,283
Oh.
392
00:17:48,351 --> 00:17:50,318
You know who I met
downstairs, Ralph?
393
00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,820
♪ Dum, de-dum, dum. ♪
394
00:17:58,194 --> 00:18:00,427
Yeah, I know who
you met downstairs.
395
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,762
Oh, he was up here?
396
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,630
Yeah, he was here.
397
00:18:03,699 --> 00:18:05,699
He left us this.
398
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:10,437
Merry Christmas, he
said. $25 gift certificate.
399
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:14,441
$25 gift certificate
from Tommy Mullens?
400
00:18:16,545 --> 00:18:20,281
Tommy Mullens? I thought you
were talking about Uncle Leo.
401
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,984
Oh, was Uncle Leo here? No.
402
00:18:27,056 --> 00:18:28,655
Yeah, he was here.
403
00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:30,369
No, I was talking
about Tommy Mullens.
404
00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:31,770
He's home from
the Navy on leave,
405
00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:33,438
and I thought maybe he'd
run up here to see you.
406
00:18:33,462 --> 00:18:34,762
No.
407
00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:38,916
Boy, wasn't that
sweet of Uncle Leo?
408
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,963
Listen, Ralph, I picked up this
celery for Trixie down at Krause's,
409
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:43,632
and I got to run up
there for a minute,
410
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:44,588
but I'll be right back.
411
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,690
All right.
412
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:46,835
I thought you were going out.
413
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,959
No, it's too cold out.
414
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,695
I'll be right down.
415
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,567
365 days in the year
416
00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:59,086
and that Mullens has to
come home from the Navy!
417
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:02,756
Tough luck, Ralphie boy.
418
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:04,703
Well, I got nobody
to blame but myself.
419
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,394
It's my own fault, I take
$22 that I'm saving up
420
00:19:07,463 --> 00:19:08,863
and throw it away
on a bowling ball.
421
00:19:08,931 --> 00:19:10,998
I could've got her a
beautiful gift with that.
422
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,102
Wait a minute, that's it!
423
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:21,152
That's it. What
are you gonna do?
424
00:19:21,176 --> 00:19:22,821
Very simple. I'm gonna
take the bowling ball,
425
00:19:22,845 --> 00:19:25,145
hock it, get the money
and buy her a gift.
426
00:19:25,214 --> 00:19:27,815
I ought to get $10,
$15 for this thing.
427
00:19:27,883 --> 00:19:29,160
Boy, oh, boy, you got a knack
428
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:31,362
for getting yourself
out of trouble.
429
00:19:31,386 --> 00:19:32,519
Just remember, Norton,
430
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,888
when there's an
emergency, I come out of it.
431
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,958
When they made me,
they threw away the mold.
432
00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:39,176
( laughs)
433
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,205
They had to... you
probably broke it!
434
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,264
( laughs)
435
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:48,001
Hmm...
436
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,170
♪ Deck the halls with
boughs of holly... ♪
437
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:00,965
Ralph?
438
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,299
Yeah?
439
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,179
Hurry up, 'cause your
breakfast's all ready.
440
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,136
Be out in a minute.
441
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,370
'Kay.
442
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,591
Oh, I want to tell
you something.
443
00:20:11,861 --> 00:20:14,178
Your mother certainly
has taste in pajamas.
444
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,712
( laughs)
445
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,048
Ain't they beautiful?
446
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:18,560
They are. Mother
showed them to me.
447
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:19,861
I knew you'd like them, Ralph.
448
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,863
Yeah? Come on, honey, sit down.
449
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:26,390
Look, Alice, before we eat,
can't we exchange the gifts now?
450
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,326
Ralph, the eggs'll get cold.
451
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,726
So what? It's Christmas.
452
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,063
All right, sweetie, I'll
go get your present.
453
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,297
All right, I'll get mine.
454
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,575
Merry Christmas, Ralph.
455
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,660
Merry Christmas.
456
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:48,562
You open yours first.
457
00:21:05,781 --> 00:21:08,148
Bowling bag ball!
458
00:21:08,217 --> 00:21:10,684
I mean, a bowling ball bag!
459
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:17,191
Just what I wanted, sweetheart.
460
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:18,608
Oh, I'm so glad.
461
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,755
I know how crazy you are
about that bowling ball, Ralph.
462
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,947
So I thought you ought
to have a bag to carry it in.
463
00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:24,893
Thank you very much.
Go ahead, open it up.
464
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,450
Oh, sweetie, why
don't we get the ball
465
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,219
and make sure
that it fits in there?
466
00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:30,587
( stammering)
467
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,923
I don't have to do that.
They're all the same size.
468
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:34,225
They all fit in there.
469
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,793
Oh, come on, I just
want to make sure it fits.
470
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,499
I can't put the ball in the bag.
471
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:46,803
You said it was the
right size. Why not?
472
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,072
I hocked it.
473
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,358
It's a long story.
474
00:21:52,361 --> 00:21:59,400
See, Alice... I stashed
away $22, see?
475
00:21:59,468 --> 00:22:02,803
And... well, you know I
used to walk past that store
476
00:22:02,871 --> 00:22:06,206
and see the bowling ball
in the window all the time.
477
00:22:06,275 --> 00:22:10,544
Well, I... spent the
$22 for the bowling ball.
478
00:22:10,612 --> 00:22:13,547
But I had enough dough
to get you a nice gift.
479
00:22:13,615 --> 00:22:15,682
And I got you a nice gift,
480
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,919
except that it was the same
gift that that lady got you.
481
00:22:18,988 --> 00:22:20,787
Except the fella didn't tell her
482
00:22:20,856 --> 00:22:25,692
that hers came from the
emperor of Japan's house.
483
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:29,263
The 2,000 sticks that
were glued together.
484
00:22:29,332 --> 00:22:32,732
You see, I had the same thing
to give you that she gave you.
485
00:22:32,801 --> 00:22:34,501
And she was saying
it was, you know,
486
00:22:34,570 --> 00:22:37,237
a little thing you got at the
novelty store and everything.
487
00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:40,707
So I began to feel
ashamed of myself.
488
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:43,910
So I took the bowling ball
down and I hocked it and...
489
00:22:43,979 --> 00:22:45,690
and that's when
I bought you that.
490
00:22:45,714 --> 00:22:48,649
Wait 'til you see
it! Open it up!
491
00:22:54,156 --> 00:22:57,057
Oh, Ralph, it's beautiful!
492
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,492
You like it, sweetie?
493
00:22:58,561 --> 00:23:01,862
Oh, I love it. It's the best
present I've ever gotten!
494
00:23:01,931 --> 00:23:04,198
Thank you. And
it's practical, too.
495
00:23:04,266 --> 00:23:07,101
You see, you squeeze the
oranges on Napoleon's head,
496
00:23:07,169 --> 00:23:09,403
and the juice comes
out of his ears.
497
00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:15,412
You know something, sweetheart?
498
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:21,365
Christmas is...
499
00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:24,401
Well, it's about the best
time of the whole year.
500
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:28,105
You walk down the streets, even
for weeks before Christmas comes,
501
00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:32,309
and there's lights hanging
up, green ones and red ones.
502
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,011
Sometimes there's snow,
503
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,680
and everybody's
hustling someplace.
504
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,616
But they don't hustle
around Christmastime
505
00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:39,916
like they usually do.
506
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:41,563
You know, they're
a little more friendly.
507
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:43,787
They bump into you,
they laugh and they say,
508
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:46,690
"Pardon me," and
"Merry Christmas" and...
509
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:50,628
Especially when it gets
real close to Christmas night.
510
00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:54,532
Everybody's walking home,
you can hardly hear a sound.
511
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:59,436
Bells are ringing, kids are
singing, snow is coming down.
512
00:23:59,505 --> 00:24:01,150
And boy, what a pleasure it is
513
00:24:01,174 --> 00:24:05,042
to think that you got
someplace to go to.
514
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:08,379
And the place that you're
going to has somebody in it
515
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,549
that... that you really love.
516
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,633
Someone you're nuts about.
517
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,003
Merry Christmas.
518
00:24:19,308 --> 00:24:21,308
( audience applauding)
519
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,013
Wait a minute.
520
00:24:28,351 --> 00:24:29,351
Hold up.
521
00:24:30,819 --> 00:24:32,786
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.
522
00:24:32,855 --> 00:24:34,622
( applause continuing)
523
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:35,639
Thank you.
524
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,708
( applause continuing)
525
00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:42,980
Thank you.
526
00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:44,481
( applause subsides)
527
00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:48,018
Ladies and gentlemen, we
usually don't step out of character...
528
00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:51,689
but tonight I think it proper
that Mr. And Mrs. Kramden
529
00:24:51,757 --> 00:24:53,623
and Mr. and Mrs. Norton
530
00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:55,370
wish everybody a
merry Christmas.
531
00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:57,154
Would you come
in there, Nortons?
532
00:24:58,530 --> 00:24:59,563
There they are.
533
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:01,565
( applause resumes)
534
00:25:05,220 --> 00:25:07,237
( applause continuing)
535
00:25:10,726 --> 00:25:14,728
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
38431
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