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1
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,290
[sighs]
2
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,590
♪ I want to break free ♪
3
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:16,090
♪ I want to break free ♪
4
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,180
♪ I want to ♪
5
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,180
♪ Break free from your lies ♪
6
00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:22,740
♪ You're so self-satisfied ♪
7
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,350
♪ I don't need you ♪
8
00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:29,150
♪ I've got to break free ♪
9
00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:33,340
♪ God knows ♪
10
00:00:34,420 --> 00:00:38,370
♪ God knows
I want to break free ♪
11
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,200
♪ I want to break free. ♪
12
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:44,950
[Smithers sighs]
13
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,770
Ah, the joy
of a completed to-do list.
14
00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:50,540
Shall we celebrate
by cracking open an amontillado?
15
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:52,860
Uh, sir, you had
that cask of amontillado
16
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,530
walled off two days ago.
17
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,550
-Along with the salesman.
-[knocking]
18
00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,280
[salesman]
Are you still considering
19
00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,890
the Cask of the Month Club?
20
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,060
After three months,
it pays for itself.
21
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,890
I'm thinking about it.
22
00:01:03,970 --> 00:01:06,120
Anyway, Smithers, a tasting.
23
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:09,190
What about this 1945 Bordeaux?
24
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,130
Yes, that could give
my palate a little party.
25
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:14,720
Palate, have at it.
26
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,220
Oh.
27
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,960
How I miss extra-venous fluids.
28
00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:21,150
Mm, you're getting notes
of cigar smoke,
29
00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:23,230
saffron-- Ooh, sandalwood.
30
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,500
Yes, yes, all of those.
31
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,580
And cupcake frosting
from a child's birthday party
32
00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:30,920
with notes of petting zoo
on the finish.
33
00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:33,750
Oh, I'm getting a little tipsy.
34
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,420
Make sure you take two aspirin
35
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:39,220
and drink plenty of water
before I go to bed.
36
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,250
[whimpering]
37
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,160
What is it?
what do you hear, boy?
38
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,670
Dress shoes on linoleum.
39
00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:47,330
It's Smithers.
40
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,590
Whenever he comes down here,
he wants
41
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,150
someone to stay late
and do extra work.
42
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,360
[whimpering]
43
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:58,610
Homer, it's one taquito.
44
00:01:58,690 --> 00:01:59,840
It's not worth it.
45
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,620
No snack left behind.
46
00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:03,340
I'll tell your story.
47
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,690
[microwave dings]
48
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,270
Simpson, come with me.
49
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,790
[groans]
Can I bring my taquito?
50
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,210
No.
51
00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:13,290
Mr. Burns wants
to impress his wine club,
52
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,020
so he paid a million dollars
53
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,110
for a very special bottle
of Gevrey-Chambertin
54
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:19,090
once owned by Napoleon.
55
00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:21,710
Whoa, just like the laundry pods
56
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:24,050
they lock up
at the Kwik-E-Mart.
57
00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:27,310
Wow.
58
00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:29,530
Turns out Napoleon fought
the Battle of Austerlitz
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00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,050
just because he'd heard
there was
60
00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:32,870
an extraordinary
bottle of red there.
61
00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:36,630
And you need my expert skills
to keep watch over it.
62
00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:39,650
No, I need you to ride in the
back with it as a human airbag.
63
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,320
Ooh, human.
64
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,550
[phone rings]
65
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:45,480
Smithers, I coughed up
my Adam's apple.
66
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:46,390
Not again.
67
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,640
I'm on my way, sir.
68
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,000
Simpson, I need you
to bring the Napoleon wine
69
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,040
directly to Mr. Burns' mansion.
70
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,910
This is the most important job
71
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,910
you've ever done
in your entire life.
72
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:58,080
I'm glad to have
earned your trust.
73
00:02:58,230 --> 00:03:00,660
If there were anyone else
on Earth I could ask, I would.
74
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:01,900
Thank you.
75
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,990
[Burns]
Hurry, Smithers.
76
00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:05,050
Now ants are circling it.
77
00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:08,920
Okay, just get the bottle
back to Mr. Burns.
78
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,350
First, select
the least bumpy route.
79
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,840
Aah!
Where'd it go?!
80
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,250
And now it is my great honor
81
00:03:17,270 --> 00:03:19,030
to christen this ship--
82
00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:21,100
-[grunts]
-Well, I never.
83
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,740
No, wait, this did happen
once before.
84
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,760
[all] Mazel tov!
85
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,200
[grunts] Ow!
86
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:39,600
Uh...
87
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,610
[sighs]
88
00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:42,090
Mwah.
89
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,760
[grunts]
90
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:48,140
[pellet guns firing]
91
00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,640
Mm...
92
00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:56,380
[grunting]
93
00:03:57,380 --> 00:04:00,550
Oh, man, I'm so far
from Mr. Burns' mansion.
94
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:01,980
Where even am I?
95
00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,400
I'll give you a hint, dumbass.
96
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,050
You live here.
97
00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:06,890
Give me another hint.
98
00:04:06,910 --> 00:04:09,130
Okay, Homer, you got
a million-dollar bottle of wine.
99
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,140
For once in your life,
don't be stupid.
100
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,250
Put it somewhere safe.
101
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,140
Safe, safe.
102
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,630
Wait, a safe.
103
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,400
[grunts]
104
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:25,070
Safe. So this is
what being smart feels like.
105
00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:27,340
[chuckles]
I'll reward myself
106
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,990
with a quick garage nap
in the car.
107
00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,510
I'll just turn it on
to keep warm and--
108
00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:33,750
No.
109
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,660
Staying smart.
110
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,090
[snoring]
111
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,770
Huh? Wha--
Oh, no!
112
00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:40,520
I need to get to Burns' mansion.
113
00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:41,830
You're exhausted.
114
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,020
At least eat dinner
before you go.
115
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,950
Mmm, this is the best stew ever.
116
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,190
Oh, it's nothing special.
117
00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:49,930
Just beef, carrots, onions,
118
00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,360
garlic and bay leaves.
119
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,770
Well, it's delicious.
120
00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:53,860
Oh, and some wine.
121
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,440
What kind of wine?
122
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,940
I didn't want to use
the good nine-dollar bottle,
123
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,540
so I just used this old one.
124
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:03,450
[screaming]
125
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,300
How? No.
126
00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,630
No, I was smart.
I was smart.
127
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,180
So smart.
128
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,790
What?
I don't understand.
129
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:13,430
It's still locked.
130
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,200
-Huh?
-[Bart] Hey, Homer.
131
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,200
What the hell
kind of safe is this?
132
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:21,460
Remember?
You punched a hole in the wall
133
00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:24,470
when Major League Baseball
added the pitch clock.
134
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:27,300
I like my sports slow,
and they knew that.
135
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:28,970
Marge, you don't understand.
136
00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:30,730
That wine you used in the stew
137
00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:32,140
was Burns' wine.
138
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,900
It cost a million dollars!
139
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,500
Oh, no. No!
140
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:38,070
No, no, no, no, no, no.
141
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,180
A million dollars?
142
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,730
A million dollars!
143
00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:42,820
I don't want stew.
144
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,670
I want mac and cheese.
145
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:47,420
-Eat your million-dollar stew.
-[grunts]
146
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,470
[groans]
147
00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,240
You used all
of the million-dollar wine?
148
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,430
It's what the recipe calls for.
149
00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:01,500
You should have written
your name on the bottle.
150
00:06:01,510 --> 00:06:04,380
Like I do with that special tea
that makes me regular.
151
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:06,080
Regular?
You didn't go the whole time
152
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:07,860
we were in
the Wisconsin Dells.
153
00:06:07,940 --> 00:06:09,860
That's why I got the tea!
154
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,440
That I label.
155
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,940
[Smithers]
Simpson.
156
00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:15,520
Why haven't you delivered the
bottle to Mr. Burns' mansion?
157
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,950
Before I answer that,
158
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:19,080
try some of this delicious stew.
159
00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:23,030
Mmm, the onions, the garlic,
160
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,700
the red wine
from the 19th century.
161
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:27,270
[groans]
162
00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:28,200
Aah!
163
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,720
It's not what you think.
164
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,280
Marge cooked the wine into stew.
165
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,720
Stew that we ate.
166
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,710
-[growls]
-Uh,
167
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:38,890
if you need to
strangle the boy for a minute,
168
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,230
that's what he's here for.
169
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,300
Eh, it's what I bring
to the table.
170
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,120
Oh, God, this is going
to take Mr. Burns
171
00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:46,230
to a horrifying level of fury.
172
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,550
He built this lumber mill
just to kill us.
173
00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:50,550
Oh, that explains it.
174
00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:54,130
Waylon, Homer really did try
to keep it safe.
175
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:56,230
This is all my fault.
176
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:59,750
I can't believe I was undone
by Marge Simpson.
177
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,060
[crying]
178
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,910
Mm. Hmm?
179
00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:07,980
Okay, I know things
look kind of bad.
180
00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:10,820
But there is a way out of this.
181
00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,170
This isn't "kind of bad."
182
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,740
This is a catastrophe.
183
00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:17,490
If I may-- for you,
catastrophe is a new thing.
184
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:20,770
But for me, it's just
another day at the office.
185
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,500
What the hell are talking about,
you incompetent nitwit?
186
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,760
Oh, Smithers,
Smithers, Smithers.
187
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,020
Let me explain.
188
00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:28,280
Maggie, my note.
189
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,350
♪ In the course
of my long life ♪
190
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,600
-Aah!
-♪ I've learned a golden rule ♪
191
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,930
♪ To escape the blame
and avoid the shame ♪
192
00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:37,950
♪ When I've been an utter fool ♪
193
00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:40,860
♪ I simply cover it up ♪
194
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,290
-♪ Cover it up? ♪
-♪ Cover it up? ♪
195
00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:46,130
♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪
196
00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,390
♪ Lost her wedding ring
one winter ♪
197
00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:50,450
♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪
198
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,630
♪ Made one with a 3D printer ♪
199
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:54,620
♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪
200
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,710
♪ I cut down Flanders'
cherry tree ♪
201
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:58,790
♪ And then did tell a lie ♪
202
00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:00,640
♪ I blamed it on some teens ♪
203
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:03,140
♪ Who were wedgie-ing this guy ♪
204
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,050
♪ Neck high ♪
205
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,810
-♪ Cover it up ♪
-♪ Cover it up ♪
206
00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:10,980
♪ I can't recall the lyrics
to the verse I'm singing now ♪
207
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,320
♪ Who cares?
I'll make some new words up ♪
208
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,070
[scatting]
209
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,980
♪ I love you, "Spingfield" ♪
210
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,390
♪ Trick the red light camera ♪
211
00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:24,220
♪ When you're rushing
to get home ♪
212
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,220
♪ Forgot to bring a doggy bag ♪
213
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,500
♪ Just use a garden gnome ♪
214
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:30,000
♪ I caused so many meltdowns ♪
215
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,750
♪ So I use my little fix ♪
216
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,750
♪ We know you caused
those meltdowns ♪
217
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:37,010
♪ No, you only knew of six ♪
218
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,240
♪ Let's fix my wife's--
not my-- mistake ♪
219
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,330
-♪ Cover it up ♪
-♪ And fill this fancy jug ♪
220
00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:43,420
-♪ With fake ♪
-♪ Cover it up ♪
221
00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:46,520
-♪ Make a woo-hoo
out of a d'oh ♪
-♪ Just cover it up ♪
222
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,760
♪ Cover it up
and they'll never ♪
223
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:52,030
♪ Even know ♪
224
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,070
♪ Cover it up! ♪
225
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:57,440
Mm, I can't resist
226
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,590
a musical number
that advances the plot.
227
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:02,090
-I'm in.
-But how do we cover this up?
228
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,100
It's not gonna be easy.
229
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,100
Mr. Burns is planning
to pour the Napoleon wine
230
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,450
for some of the most discerning
wine connoisseurs in the world.
231
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,120
You know, wine is
basically just chemistry.
232
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,110
Maybe you need someone
who knows all about
233
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,590
the chemistry of alcohol.
234
00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:20,630
Wine is the red one, right?
235
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,300
Well, I understand your dilemma,
236
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,450
but I am right
in the middle of an experiment
237
00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:28,210
to develop the proverbial
six-pack abdominals.
238
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:33,120
-[both groan]
-I know, but it's
what the ladies want.
239
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,400
I think they just want
someone who listens.
240
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,960
Well, I don't have
a contraption for that.
241
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,740
Professor, maybe if I
242
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:42,480
-rephrase it like this.
243
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,200
-♪ Cover it up! ♪
-♪ Flavin! ♪
244
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:49,070
Uh, well, based on my analysis
245
00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:52,420
of the last drops
of the stewified Napoleon wine,
246
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:55,910
I've created a replica
out of diammonium phosphate,
247
00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:58,760
calcium carbonate and 14 CCs
248
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,600
of Manischewitz.
249
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:02,930
[sniffs]
250
00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,340
Mmm.
That's, uh, that's amazing.
251
00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:08,990
-So we did it?
-We did it.
252
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,090
Uh, I, uh, did it, yes.
253
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,590
And now, just
to ensure I've removed
254
00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:16,590
the radioactive isotope
found in all wines
255
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:19,490
made after the dawn
of the nuclear age...
256
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,520
Perfect.
257
00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:24,490
[detector clicking]
258
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,120
Uh, should I be worried
about that?
259
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,180
Are you planning
on having children?
260
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,030
I never planned
any of my children.
261
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,340
Uh, well, it is what it is.
262
00:10:35,690 --> 00:10:38,040
I call to order this meeting
with our credo,
263
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,620
"Never drink something younger
264
00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:42,140
or date something older
than you."
265
00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,950
[all]
To pointless excess.
266
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,140
And now, the main event:
267
00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:48,140
a bottle of wine once held
by Napoleon himself.
268
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:50,890
So, raise a glass
and bend an "Elba."
269
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,800
[laughing]
270
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,480
Smithers, release the cork.
271
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,060
Moment of truth.
272
00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:00,990
You know, our marriage
really could use
273
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:03,320
fewer moments of truth.
274
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,830
Now that's million-buck chuck!
275
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:10,720
Complex with a hint of
276
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,460
doy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoing!
277
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:14,910
Mm.
278
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,910
The cover-up worked!
279
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:20,080
And tonight,
we'll have cover-up sex.
280
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,570
Ooh, it'll be my first.
281
00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:24,340
[laughing] No, it won't.
282
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,350
I can't believe
we pulled that off.
283
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:31,020
I feel a little guilty
and a little scared.
284
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,930
Like the first time
I fast-forwarded
285
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,350
through a commercial.
286
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,360
Don't feel bad.
287
00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:36,670
With the money
those billionaires
288
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,860
spend on one bottle,
289
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,340
it could buy every poor person
in the world
290
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:42,010
an inexpensive
but very drinkable rosé.
291
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:44,180
Those monsters.
292
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,700
They are.
And I do their bidding.
293
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,780
[crying]
294
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:51,930
I'm just as bad, if not worse,
because I know better.
295
00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:53,870
I'm even starting
to look like Mr. Burns.
296
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:55,770
Hump!
297
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:59,790
Sometimes I feel like I've
only got this much soul left.
298
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:01,120
Don't worry, Waylon.
299
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,200
There's plenty of soul
where that came from.
300
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,220
You know, we've still got
301
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,950
a lot of this Frinky drinky.
302
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,220
Think how many wrongs
we could right
303
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,950
if we sold just one more
million-dollar bottle.
304
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,140
Are you slurring
what I think you're slurring?
305
00:12:16,210 --> 00:12:18,730
Yes.
What if we sell fake wine
306
00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,960
to the rich to give to the poor?
307
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,690
Like Robin Hood.
308
00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:43,590
[grunting, exclaiming]
309
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,220
[grunts]
310
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:01,110
I'm cleansing my soul.
311
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,670
And I'm getting out
of the house.
312
00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:05,200
[gavel bangs]
313
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,840
[quiet chatter]
314
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,190
We're doing this.
315
00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:10,950
We're actually
going to Robin Hood
316
00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,290
a bottle of fake wine.
317
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:15,460
Look at all these mega-rich
wine connoisseurs.
318
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:18,870
I've never seen so many people
not wearing baseball caps.
319
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,290
And that's Jim Sprawldon
from the Sprawl-Mart fortune.
320
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,280
And from Sam's Club,
there's Marcus Club himself.
321
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,520
Oh... I can ask him
to bring back
322
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,530
Marcus's Choice
cinnamon apple dryer sheets.
323
00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:32,360
[Smithers]
There's Francis Ford Coppola
and Andrew Lloyd Webber,
324
00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:35,220
the most surprisingly straight
wine collector in the world.
325
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,050
And he's next to Robert Parker,
326
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,480
who invented the 100-point
wine ranking scale.
327
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,060
I will buy this Napoleon wine
328
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:43,390
with the money
from the music that I write.
329
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:46,380
The money from the music
of the night.
330
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,380
I rate this conversation a 36.
331
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,900
Next up is the last known wine
owned by Napoleon.
332
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,220
Offered for sale
by an anonymous owner.
333
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,650
I open the bidding at--
334
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,810
$1 million!
335
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,330
-$1.5 million.
-[phone rings]
336
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,910
Wh-- I'm sorry. I have a call
from my accountant.
337
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,840
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
338
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,060
I bid nothing.
339
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,010
Uh, $1.5 million.
340
00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:09,230
$2 million.
341
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,750
$2 million?
That's, like, 20,000 100s.
342
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,070
Going once. Going twice.
Sold!
343
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,020
[both exclaim]
344
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:20,080
Slowly, deftly,
losing shall caress you.
345
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,690
Hear it, feel it.
346
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,690
Secretly depress you.
347
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,580
You did Cats, right?
348
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,030
What the hell was that?!
349
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,770
And why do I love it?
350
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:31,260
We did it!
351
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:34,680
This money is going to right
so many wrongs.
352
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,100
Thank you, Marge.
For the first time in my life,
353
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,750
I feel free.
354
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:43,530
You are under arrest
for the high crime
355
00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,340
of wine forgery.
356
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:05,400
Here's your cell.
357
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,640
Does the gentleman
find it suitable?
358
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:10,320
Why do they always ask the man?
359
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,560
Oh, Homie, Homie, I don't know
how to tell you this,
360
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:16,910
but I'm in jail.
361
00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:19,320
[chuckles]
Marge in jail? Puh-lease.
362
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,750
This is like that phone scam
I almost fell for last month.
363
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,160
That was really me.
364
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,980
I had to walk home
from the airport
365
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,980
because you wouldn't believe me.
366
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:29,980
Then this is Marge!
You're in jail?
367
00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:31,240
[crying] Yes.
368
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:34,990
Waylon and I faked and sold
another Napoleon wine.
369
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,430
Well, this is crazy.
370
00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:39,820
You're in jail for booze,
and I'm...
371
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:42,270
at home watching the kids.
372
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:44,090
-Time's up.
-[whimpers]
373
00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:46,610
I've got to go.
I miss you all so much.
374
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,920
-I love you.
-[burps]
375
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Oh, Mommy loves you, too,
Maggie.
376
00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:01,790
Wine court is modeled after
the quirky French legal system.
377
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:05,030
It's based on every defendant's
right to a certain,
378
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,870
mm... je ne sais quoi.
379
00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,960
How do you know about all this?
380
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,450
Oh, Wine Court TV plays all day
in most gay bars.
381
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:15,950
Your Honor, this is a case
of shocking fraud
382
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:18,450
perpetrated by the worst kind
of scammers.
383
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,870
Do we seriously believe
that a wine
384
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,480
owned by Napoleon was found
385
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,050
by an executive assistant
and a homemaker?
386
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:29,210
They're simple,
ignorant Philistines.
387
00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:31,150
Mrs. Simpson,
please tell the court
388
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:32,990
your recipe for sangria.
389
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,320
Two parts Duff wine cooler
390
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:37,310
to one part grape popsicle.
391
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,980
-[all gasp]
-Oh, no, Marge.
392
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,570
You stupid lady.
393
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:45,000
Homie, I might be
going to jail for years.
394
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,670
Promise me you'll take
good care of the kids.
395
00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:51,090
Honey, you know
I can't make that promise.
396
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:58,220
I wonder if Homer
is looking at the same moon.
397
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:02,590
[shatters]
398
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:04,240
Marge was always here...
399
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:07,080
[crying] to dry and put away.
400
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,340
-[shatters]
-This is all my fault.
401
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:14,340
♪ They covered it up,
they covered it up ♪
402
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,440
♪ And I lost my sweet
and loving wife ♪
403
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,350
-Wait, what?
-♪ I can't cover it up ♪
404
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,680
♪ Can't cover it up ♪
405
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,450
♪ She might do 20 years ♪
406
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,360
♪ To life. ♪
407
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,190
You said Mom was in
Santa Barbara with friends.
408
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:33,450
Kids, your mom's
not in Santa Barbara.
409
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,550
She's in wine jail.
410
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,370
There's no such thing
as Santa Barbara.
411
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,440
Dad, you got to find a way
to get Mom out of jail.
412
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,110
You got to cover this up.
413
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:43,460
It's the only thing
you're good at.
414
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:46,800
No, the only thing
I'm good at is nothing.
415
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,650
I will never cover up again.
416
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,130
Ladies, gentlemen,
417
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,550
and bored looking cat
in a turtleneck.
418
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:58,150
[purring]
419
00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:00,360
The wine we're accused of faking
420
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,320
tastes exactly like
the real thing,
421
00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:04,890
so if-if no one
can tell the difference,
422
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,470
how is that a crime?
423
00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:08,160
[all murmuring]
424
00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:11,330
Your Honor,
this is a case with legs.
425
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,480
Pun intended on "legs"
but not on "case."
426
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,090
Wine is much more
than a beverage.
427
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,240
For centuries, it has told
the story of civilization.
428
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:23,340
Whenever something is that rare,
unique, and beautiful,
429
00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:27,080
it is attacked by greed
and fraud at every turn.
430
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:30,160
Thus, it is our responsibility
431
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,090
to ensure that this
jewel of our society
432
00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:35,610
keeps its integrity intact.
433
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,230
[meows]
434
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,340
I have reached a decision.
435
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,430
[groans]
436
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:44,930
I declare the fake
wine in question to be...
437
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,120
real.
438
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:48,700
-Case dismissed.
-[all gasp]
439
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:54,850
I don't know what just happened.
440
00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:56,520
Oh, allow me to explain.
441
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:59,780
I bought something more valuable
than any bottle of wine:
442
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:00,860
the judge.
443
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,540
You bribed her to save us?
444
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:04,470
[chuckles] I...
I wasn't saving you, Smithers,
445
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:06,210
and, uh, your wife.
446
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,970
I was protecting the myth
that the possessions
447
00:19:08,050 --> 00:19:10,640
of the obscenely wealthy
are remotely worth it.
448
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,460
If that bottle
was exposed as fake,
449
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,890
skeptical eyes
might look to fine art
450
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:15,980
such as my Vermeer,
451
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,130
Girl with a Pearl Nose Ring.
452
00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:21,150
Or my Bible signed by Jesus.
453
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,380
And it's all thanks
to this fine fellow
454
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,380
who alerted me
to your predicament.
455
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,810
-Homer, you--
-Covered it up.
456
00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:31,410
But, Dad, you said you were
never gonna cover up again.
457
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,390
I tried not to,
but covering up is all I know.
458
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:36,580
So, I went to
the king of cover-ups.
459
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,060
Who do you think
hid all that nuclear waste
460
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,230
under Denver's airport?
461
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:43,720
-This guy.
-[laughing] Oh, you.
462
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,740
Great, we were saved
by an evil deed
463
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:52,240
from the man whose evil deeds
we were trying to un-evil.
464
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,520
But, Waylon,
our whole drunken plan
465
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,690
was to use bad money
to do good things.
466
00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,920
And now we can.
467
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,940
-Robin Hood?
-Robin Hood.
468
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:03,510
-[bones crack]
-♪ Don't stop ♪
469
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,090
-♪ Me now ♪
-♪ 'Cause I'm having ♪
470
00:20:05,090 --> 00:20:06,440
-♪ A good time ♪
-♪ Don't stop ♪
471
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,110
-♪ Me now ♪
-♪ Yes, I'm having ♪
472
00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:10,370
♪ A good time,
I don't want to stop ♪
473
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,350
♪ At all ♪
474
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,110
♪ Yeah, I'm a rocket ship ♪
475
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,930
♪ On my way to Mars
on a collision course ♪
476
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,880
♪ I am a satellite ♪
477
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,710
♪ I'm out of control ♪
478
00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:23,610
♪ I'm a sex machine
ready to reload ♪
479
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,280
♪ Like an atom bomb ♪
480
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,290
♪ About to, whoa, oh, oh ♪
481
00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:29,370
♪ Oh, oh, explode ♪
482
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:32,390
♪ I'm burning through
the sky, yeah. ♪
483
00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:39,400
You will be housed
here in wine jail
484
00:20:39,550 --> 00:20:42,130
while you await your trial
in Springfield wine court.
485
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:43,290
Wine court?
486
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,890
Yes. Wine crimes
are too sophisticated
487
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,970
for the undeveloped
legal palate
488
00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:49,320
of the American system.
489
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,970
She sold a champagne
that was actually a prosecco.
490
00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:55,580
He called his wine
a Beaujolais nouveau
491
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,320
but there was nothing
nouveau about it.
492
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,490
And he's in solitary
for his own protection.
493
00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:02,000
We don't take kindly
494
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,160
to oenophiles here.
495
00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,980
And here is where we house
our worst offenders:
496
00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:08,490
wine counterfeiters.
497
00:21:08,490 --> 00:21:11,580
Come back later
to try our toilet wine!
498
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:15,230
We are trying to recreate
a 1974 San Quentin.
499
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:16,840
Shh.
500
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:18,770
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
501
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,770
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
502
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,320
and TOYOTA.
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