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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,290 [sighs] 2 00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,590 ♪ I want to break free ♪ 3 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:16,090 ♪ I want to break free ♪ 4 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,180 ♪ I want to ♪ 5 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,180 ♪ Break free from your lies ♪ 6 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:22,740 ♪ You're so self-satisfied ♪ 7 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,350 ♪ I don't need you ♪ 8 00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:29,150 ♪ I've got to break free ♪ 9 00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:33,340 ♪ God knows ♪ 10 00:00:34,420 --> 00:00:38,370 ♪ God knows I want to break free ♪ 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,200 ♪ I want to break free. ♪ 12 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:44,950 [Smithers sighs] 13 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,770 Ah, the joy of a completed to-do list. 14 00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:50,540 Shall we celebrate by cracking open an amontillado? 15 00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:52,860 Uh, sir, you had that cask of amontillado 16 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,530 walled off two days ago. 17 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,550 -Along with the salesman. -[knocking] 18 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:58,280 [salesman] Are you still considering 19 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,890 the Cask of the Month Club? 20 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,060 After three months, it pays for itself. 21 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,890 I'm thinking about it. 22 00:01:03,970 --> 00:01:06,120 Anyway, Smithers, a tasting. 23 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:09,190 What about this 1945 Bordeaux? 24 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,130 Yes, that could give my palate a little party. 25 00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:14,720 Palate, have at it. 26 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,220 Oh. 27 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,960 How I miss extra-venous fluids. 28 00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:21,150 Mm, you're getting notes of cigar smoke, 29 00:01:21,230 --> 00:01:23,230 saffron-- Ooh, sandalwood. 30 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,500 Yes, yes, all of those. 31 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,580 And cupcake frosting from a child's birthday party 32 00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:30,920 with notes of petting zoo on the finish. 33 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:33,750 Oh, I'm getting a little tipsy. 34 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,420 Make sure you take two aspirin 35 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:39,220 and drink plenty of water before I go to bed. 36 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,250 [whimpering] 37 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,160 What is it? what do you hear, boy? 38 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,670 Dress shoes on linoleum. 39 00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:47,330 It's Smithers. 40 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,590 Whenever he comes down here, he wants 41 00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,150 someone to stay late and do extra work. 42 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,360 [whimpering] 43 00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:58,610 Homer, it's one taquito. 44 00:01:58,690 --> 00:01:59,840 It's not worth it. 45 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,620 No snack left behind. 46 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:03,340 I'll tell your story. 47 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,690 [microwave dings] 48 00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,270 Simpson, come with me. 49 00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,790 [groans] Can I bring my taquito? 50 00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,210 No. 51 00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:13,290 Mr. Burns wants to impress his wine club, 52 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,020 so he paid a million dollars 53 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,110 for a very special bottle of Gevrey-Chambertin 54 00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:19,090 once owned by Napoleon. 55 00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:21,710 Whoa, just like the laundry pods 56 00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:24,050 they lock up at the Kwik-E-Mart. 57 00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:27,310 Wow. 58 00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:29,530 Turns out Napoleon fought the Battle of Austerlitz 59 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,050 just because he'd heard there was 60 00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:32,870 an extraordinary bottle of red there. 61 00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:36,630 And you need my expert skills to keep watch over it. 62 00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:39,650 No, I need you to ride in the back with it as a human airbag. 63 00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,320 Ooh, human. 64 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,550 [phone rings] 65 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:45,480 Smithers, I coughed up my Adam's apple. 66 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:46,390 Not again. 67 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,640 I'm on my way, sir. 68 00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,000 Simpson, I need you to bring the Napoleon wine 69 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,040 directly to Mr. Burns' mansion. 70 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,910 This is the most important job 71 00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,910 you've ever done in your entire life. 72 00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:58,080 I'm glad to have earned your trust. 73 00:02:58,230 --> 00:03:00,660 If there were anyone else on Earth I could ask, I would. 74 00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:01,900 Thank you. 75 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,990 [Burns] Hurry, Smithers. 76 00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:05,050 Now ants are circling it. 77 00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:08,920 Okay, just get the bottle back to Mr. Burns. 78 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,350 First, select the least bumpy route. 79 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,840 Aah! Where'd it go?! 80 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,250 And now it is my great honor 81 00:03:17,270 --> 00:03:19,030 to christen this ship-- 82 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:21,100 -[grunts] -Well, I never. 83 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,740 No, wait, this did happen once before. 84 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,760 [all] Mazel tov! 85 00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,200 [grunts] Ow! 86 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:39,600 Uh... 87 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,610 [sighs] 88 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:42,090 Mwah. 89 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,760 [grunts] 90 00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:48,140 [pellet guns firing] 91 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,640 Mm... 92 00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:56,380 [grunting] 93 00:03:57,380 --> 00:04:00,550 Oh, man, I'm so far from Mr. Burns' mansion. 94 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:01,980 Where even am I? 95 00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:03,400 I'll give you a hint, dumbass. 96 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,050 You live here. 97 00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:06,890 Give me another hint. 98 00:04:06,910 --> 00:04:09,130 Okay, Homer, you got a million-dollar bottle of wine. 99 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,140 For once in your life, don't be stupid. 100 00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,250 Put it somewhere safe. 101 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,140 Safe, safe. 102 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,630 Wait, a safe. 103 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,400 [grunts] 104 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:25,070 Safe. So this is what being smart feels like. 105 00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:27,340 [chuckles] I'll reward myself 106 00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,990 with a quick garage nap in the car. 107 00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,510 I'll just turn it on to keep warm and-- 108 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:33,750 No. 109 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,660 Staying smart. 110 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,090 [snoring] 111 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,770 Huh? Wha-- Oh, no! 112 00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:40,520 I need to get to Burns' mansion. 113 00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:41,830 You're exhausted. 114 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,020 At least eat dinner before you go. 115 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,950 Mmm, this is the best stew ever. 116 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,190 Oh, it's nothing special. 117 00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:49,930 Just beef, carrots, onions, 118 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,360 garlic and bay leaves. 119 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,770 Well, it's delicious. 120 00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:53,860 Oh, and some wine. 121 00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,440 What kind of wine? 122 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,940 I didn't want to use the good nine-dollar bottle, 123 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,540 so I just used this old one. 124 00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:03,450 [screaming] 125 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,300 How? No. 126 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,630 No, I was smart. I was smart. 127 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,180 So smart. 128 00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,790 What? I don't understand. 129 00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:13,430 It's still locked. 130 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,200 -Huh? -[Bart] Hey, Homer. 131 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,200 What the hell kind of safe is this? 132 00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:21,460 Remember? You punched a hole in the wall 133 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:24,470 when Major League Baseball added the pitch clock. 134 00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:27,300 I like my sports slow, and they knew that. 135 00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:28,970 Marge, you don't understand. 136 00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:30,730 That wine you used in the stew 137 00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:32,140 was Burns' wine. 138 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,900 It cost a million dollars! 139 00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,500 Oh, no. No! 140 00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:38,070 No, no, no, no, no, no. 141 00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,180 A million dollars? 142 00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,730 A million dollars! 143 00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:42,820 I don't want stew. 144 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,670 I want mac and cheese. 145 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:47,420 -Eat your million-dollar stew. -[grunts] 146 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,470 [groans] 147 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,240 You used all of the million-dollar wine? 148 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,430 It's what the recipe calls for. 149 00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:01,500 You should have written your name on the bottle. 150 00:06:01,510 --> 00:06:04,380 Like I do with that special tea that makes me regular. 151 00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:06,080 Regular? You didn't go the whole time 152 00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:07,860 we were in the Wisconsin Dells. 153 00:06:07,940 --> 00:06:09,860 That's why I got the tea! 154 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,440 That I label. 155 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,940 [Smithers] Simpson. 156 00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:15,520 Why haven't you delivered the bottle to Mr. Burns' mansion? 157 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:16,950 Before I answer that, 158 00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:19,080 try some of this delicious stew. 159 00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:23,030 Mmm, the onions, the garlic, 160 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,700 the red wine from the 19th century. 161 00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:27,270 [groans] 162 00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:28,200 Aah! 163 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,720 It's not what you think. 164 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,280 Marge cooked the wine into stew. 165 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,720 Stew that we ate. 166 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,710 -[growls] -Uh, 167 00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:38,890 if you need to strangle the boy for a minute, 168 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,230 that's what he's here for. 169 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,300 Eh, it's what I bring to the table. 170 00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,120 Oh, God, this is going to take Mr. Burns 171 00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:46,230 to a horrifying level of fury. 172 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,550 He built this lumber mill just to kill us. 173 00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:50,550 Oh, that explains it. 174 00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:54,130 Waylon, Homer really did try to keep it safe. 175 00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:56,230 This is all my fault. 176 00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:59,750 I can't believe I was undone by Marge Simpson. 177 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,060 [crying] 178 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,910 Mm. Hmm? 179 00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:07,980 Okay, I know things look kind of bad. 180 00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:10,820 But there is a way out of this. 181 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,170 This isn't "kind of bad." 182 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,740 This is a catastrophe. 183 00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:17,490 If I may-- for you, catastrophe is a new thing. 184 00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:20,770 But for me, it's just another day at the office. 185 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,500 What the hell are talking about, you incompetent nitwit? 186 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,760 Oh, Smithers, Smithers, Smithers. 187 00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,020 Let me explain. 188 00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:28,280 Maggie, my note. 189 00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,350 ♪ In the course of my long life ♪ 190 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,600 -Aah! -♪ I've learned a golden rule ♪ 191 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,930 ♪ To escape the blame and avoid the shame ♪ 192 00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:37,950 ♪ When I've been an utter fool ♪ 193 00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:40,860 ♪ I simply cover it up ♪ 194 00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,290 -♪ Cover it up? ♪ -♪ Cover it up? ♪ 195 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:46,130 ♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪ 196 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,390 ♪ Lost her wedding ring one winter ♪ 197 00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:50,450 ♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪ 198 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,630 ♪ Made one with a 3D printer ♪ 199 00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:54,620 ♪ Cover it up, cover it up ♪ 200 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,710 ♪ I cut down Flanders' cherry tree ♪ 201 00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:58,790 ♪ And then did tell a lie ♪ 202 00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:00,640 ♪ I blamed it on some teens ♪ 203 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:03,140 ♪ Who were wedgie-ing this guy ♪ 204 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,050 ♪ Neck high ♪ 205 00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,810 -♪ Cover it up ♪ -♪ Cover it up ♪ 206 00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:10,980 ♪ I can't recall the lyrics to the verse I'm singing now ♪ 207 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,320 ♪ Who cares? I'll make some new words up ♪ 208 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,070 [scatting] 209 00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,980 ♪ I love you, "Spingfield" ♪ 210 00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,390 ♪ Trick the red light camera ♪ 211 00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:24,220 ♪ When you're rushing to get home ♪ 212 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,220 ♪ Forgot to bring a doggy bag ♪ 213 00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,500 ♪ Just use a garden gnome ♪ 214 00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:30,000 ♪ I caused so many meltdowns ♪ 215 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,750 ♪ So I use my little fix ♪ 216 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,750 ♪ We know you caused those meltdowns ♪ 217 00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:37,010 ♪ No, you only knew of six ♪ 218 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,240 ♪ Let's fix my wife's-- not my-- mistake ♪ 219 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,330 -♪ Cover it up ♪ -♪ And fill this fancy jug ♪ 220 00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:43,420 -♪ With fake ♪ -♪ Cover it up ♪ 221 00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:46,520 -♪ Make a woo-hoo out of a d'oh ♪ -♪ Just cover it up ♪ 222 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,760 ♪ Cover it up and they'll never ♪ 223 00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:52,030 ♪ Even know ♪ 224 00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,070 ♪ Cover it up! ♪ 225 00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:57,440 Mm, I can't resist 226 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,590 a musical number that advances the plot. 227 00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:02,090 -I'm in. -But how do we cover this up? 228 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,100 It's not gonna be easy. 229 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,100 Mr. Burns is planning to pour the Napoleon wine 230 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,450 for some of the most discerning wine connoisseurs in the world. 231 00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,120 You know, wine is basically just chemistry. 232 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,110 Maybe you need someone who knows all about 233 00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,590 the chemistry of alcohol. 234 00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:20,630 Wine is the red one, right? 235 00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,300 Well, I understand your dilemma, 236 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,450 but I am right in the middle of an experiment 237 00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:28,210 to develop the proverbial six-pack abdominals. 238 00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:33,120 -[both groan] -I know, but it's what the ladies want. 239 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,400 I think they just want someone who listens. 240 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,960 Well, I don't have a contraption for that. 241 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,740 Professor, maybe if I 242 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:42,480 -rephrase it like this. 243 00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,200 -♪ Cover it up! ♪ -♪ Flavin! ♪ 244 00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:49,070 Uh, well, based on my analysis 245 00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:52,420 of the last drops of the stewified Napoleon wine, 246 00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:55,910 I've created a replica out of diammonium phosphate, 247 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:58,760 calcium carbonate and 14 CCs 248 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,600 of Manischewitz. 249 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:02,930 [sniffs] 250 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,340 Mmm. That's, uh, that's amazing. 251 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:08,990 -So we did it? -We did it. 252 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,090 Uh, I, uh, did it, yes. 253 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,590 And now, just to ensure I've removed 254 00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:16,590 the radioactive isotope found in all wines 255 00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:19,490 made after the dawn of the nuclear age... 256 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,520 Perfect. 257 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:24,490 [detector clicking] 258 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,120 Uh, should I be worried about that? 259 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,180 Are you planning on having children? 260 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,030 I never planned any of my children. 261 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,340 Uh, well, it is what it is. 262 00:10:35,690 --> 00:10:38,040 I call to order this meeting with our credo, 263 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,620 "Never drink something younger 264 00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:42,140 or date something older than you." 265 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,950 [all] To pointless excess. 266 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,140 And now, the main event: 267 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:48,140 a bottle of wine once held by Napoleon himself. 268 00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:50,890 So, raise a glass and bend an "Elba." 269 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,800 [laughing] 270 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,480 Smithers, release the cork. 271 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,060 Moment of truth. 272 00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:00,990 You know, our marriage really could use 273 00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:03,320 fewer moments of truth. 274 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,830 Now that's million-buck chuck! 275 00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:10,720 Complex with a hint of 276 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,460 doy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoing! 277 00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:14,910 Mm. 278 00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,910 The cover-up worked! 279 00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:20,080 And tonight, we'll have cover-up sex. 280 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,570 Ooh, it'll be my first. 281 00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:24,340 [laughing] No, it won't. 282 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,350 I can't believe we pulled that off. 283 00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:31,020 I feel a little guilty and a little scared. 284 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,930 Like the first time I fast-forwarded 285 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,350 through a commercial. 286 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,360 Don't feel bad. 287 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:36,670 With the money those billionaires 288 00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,860 spend on one bottle, 289 00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,340 it could buy every poor person in the world 290 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:42,010 an inexpensive but very drinkable rosé. 291 00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:44,180 Those monsters. 292 00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,700 They are. And I do their bidding. 293 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,780 [crying] 294 00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:51,930 I'm just as bad, if not worse, because I know better. 295 00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:53,870 I'm even starting to look like Mr. Burns. 296 00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:55,770 Hump! 297 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:59,790 Sometimes I feel like I've only got this much soul left. 298 00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:01,120 Don't worry, Waylon. 299 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,200 There's plenty of soul where that came from. 300 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,220 You know, we've still got 301 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,950 a lot of this Frinky drinky. 302 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,220 Think how many wrongs we could right 303 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,950 if we sold just one more million-dollar bottle. 304 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,140 Are you slurring what I think you're slurring? 305 00:12:16,210 --> 00:12:18,730 Yes. What if we sell fake wine 306 00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,960 to the rich to give to the poor? 307 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,690 Like Robin Hood. 308 00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:43,590 [grunting, exclaiming] 309 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,220 [grunts] 310 00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:01,110 I'm cleansing my soul. 311 00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,670 And I'm getting out of the house. 312 00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:05,200 [gavel bangs] 313 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,840 [quiet chatter] 314 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,190 We're doing this. 315 00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:10,950 We're actually going to Robin Hood 316 00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,290 a bottle of fake wine. 317 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:15,460 Look at all these mega-rich wine connoisseurs. 318 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:18,870 I've never seen so many people not wearing baseball caps. 319 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,290 And that's Jim Sprawldon from the Sprawl-Mart fortune. 320 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,280 And from Sam's Club, there's Marcus Club himself. 321 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,520 Oh... I can ask him to bring back 322 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,530 Marcus's Choice cinnamon apple dryer sheets. 323 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:32,360 [Smithers] There's Francis Ford Coppola and Andrew Lloyd Webber, 324 00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:35,220 the most surprisingly straight wine collector in the world. 325 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,050 And he's next to Robert Parker, 326 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,480 who invented the 100-point wine ranking scale. 327 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,060 I will buy this Napoleon wine 328 00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:43,390 with the money from the music that I write. 329 00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:46,380 The money from the music of the night. 330 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,380 I rate this conversation a 36. 331 00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,900 Next up is the last known wine owned by Napoleon. 332 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,220 Offered for sale by an anonymous owner. 333 00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,650 I open the bidding at-- 334 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,810 $1 million! 335 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,330 -$1.5 million. -[phone rings] 336 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,910 Wh-- I'm sorry. I have a call from my accountant. 337 00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,840 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 338 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,060 I bid nothing. 339 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,010 Uh, $1.5 million. 340 00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:09,230 $2 million. 341 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,750 $2 million? That's, like, 20,000 100s. 342 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,070 Going once. Going twice. Sold! 343 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,020 [both exclaim] 344 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:20,080 Slowly, deftly, losing shall caress you. 345 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,690 Hear it, feel it. 346 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,690 Secretly depress you. 347 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,580 You did Cats, right? 348 00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:27,030 What the hell was that?! 349 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,770 And why do I love it? 350 00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:31,260 We did it! 351 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:34,680 This money is going to right so many wrongs. 352 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,100 Thank you, Marge. For the first time in my life, 353 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,750 I feel free. 354 00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:43,530 You are under arrest for the high crime 355 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,340 of wine forgery. 356 00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:05,400 Here's your cell. 357 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,640 Does the gentleman find it suitable? 358 00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:10,320 Why do they always ask the man? 359 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,560 Oh, Homie, Homie, I don't know how to tell you this, 360 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:16,910 but I'm in jail. 361 00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:19,320 [chuckles] Marge in jail? Puh-lease. 362 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,750 This is like that phone scam I almost fell for last month. 363 00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,160 That was really me. 364 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,980 I had to walk home from the airport 365 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,980 because you wouldn't believe me. 366 00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:29,980 Then this is Marge! You're in jail? 367 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:31,240 [crying] Yes. 368 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:34,990 Waylon and I faked and sold another Napoleon wine. 369 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,430 Well, this is crazy. 370 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:39,820 You're in jail for booze, and I'm... 371 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:42,270 at home watching the kids. 372 00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:44,090 -Time's up. -[whimpers] 373 00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:46,610 I've got to go. I miss you all so much. 374 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,920 -I love you. -[burps] 375 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000 Oh, Mommy loves you, too, Maggie. 376 00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:01,790 Wine court is modeled after the quirky French legal system. 377 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:05,030 It's based on every defendant's right to a certain, 378 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,870 mm... je ne sais quoi. 379 00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,960 How do you know about all this? 380 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,450 Oh, Wine Court TV plays all day in most gay bars. 381 00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:15,950 Your Honor, this is a case of shocking fraud 382 00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:18,450 perpetrated by the worst kind of scammers. 383 00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,870 Do we seriously believe that a wine 384 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,480 owned by Napoleon was found 385 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,050 by an executive assistant and a homemaker? 386 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:29,210 They're simple, ignorant Philistines. 387 00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:31,150 Mrs. Simpson, please tell the court 388 00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:32,990 your recipe for sangria. 389 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,320 Two parts Duff wine cooler 390 00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:37,310 to one part grape popsicle. 391 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,980 -[all gasp] -Oh, no, Marge. 392 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,570 You stupid lady. 393 00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:45,000 Homie, I might be going to jail for years. 394 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,670 Promise me you'll take good care of the kids. 395 00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:51,090 Honey, you know I can't make that promise. 396 00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:58,220 I wonder if Homer is looking at the same moon. 397 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:02,590 [shatters] 398 00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:04,240 Marge was always here... 399 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:07,080 [crying] to dry and put away. 400 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,340 -[shatters] -This is all my fault. 401 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:14,340 ♪ They covered it up, they covered it up ♪ 402 00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,440 ♪ And I lost my sweet and loving wife ♪ 403 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,350 -Wait, what? -♪ I can't cover it up ♪ 404 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,680 ♪ Can't cover it up ♪ 405 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,450 ♪ She might do 20 years ♪ 406 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,360 ♪ To life. ♪ 407 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,190 You said Mom was in Santa Barbara with friends. 408 00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:33,450 Kids, your mom's not in Santa Barbara. 409 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,550 She's in wine jail. 410 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,370 There's no such thing as Santa Barbara. 411 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,440 Dad, you got to find a way to get Mom out of jail. 412 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,110 You got to cover this up. 413 00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:43,460 It's the only thing you're good at. 414 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:46,800 No, the only thing I'm good at is nothing. 415 00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,650 I will never cover up again. 416 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,130 Ladies, gentlemen, 417 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,550 and bored looking cat in a turtleneck. 418 00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:58,150 [purring] 419 00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:00,360 The wine we're accused of faking 420 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,320 tastes exactly like the real thing, 421 00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:04,890 so if-if no one can tell the difference, 422 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,470 how is that a crime? 423 00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:08,160 [all murmuring] 424 00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:11,330 Your Honor, this is a case with legs. 425 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,480 Pun intended on "legs" but not on "case." 426 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,090 Wine is much more than a beverage. 427 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,240 For centuries, it has told the story of civilization. 428 00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:23,340 Whenever something is that rare, unique, and beautiful, 429 00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:27,080 it is attacked by greed and fraud at every turn. 430 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:30,160 Thus, it is our responsibility 431 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,090 to ensure that this jewel of our society 432 00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:35,610 keeps its integrity intact. 433 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,230 [meows] 434 00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,340 I have reached a decision. 435 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,430 [groans] 436 00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:44,930 I declare the fake wine in question to be... 437 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,120 real. 438 00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:48,700 -Case dismissed. -[all gasp] 439 00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:54,850 I don't know what just happened. 440 00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:56,520 Oh, allow me to explain. 441 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:59,780 I bought something more valuable than any bottle of wine: 442 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:00,860 the judge. 443 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,540 You bribed her to save us? 444 00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:04,470 [chuckles] I... I wasn't saving you, Smithers, 445 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:06,210 and, uh, your wife. 446 00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,970 I was protecting the myth that the possessions 447 00:19:08,050 --> 00:19:10,640 of the obscenely wealthy are remotely worth it. 448 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,460 If that bottle was exposed as fake, 449 00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,890 skeptical eyes might look to fine art 450 00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:15,980 such as my Vermeer, 451 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,130 Girl with a Pearl Nose Ring. 452 00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:21,150 Or my Bible signed by Jesus. 453 00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,380 And it's all thanks to this fine fellow 454 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,380 who alerted me to your predicament. 455 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,810 -Homer, you-- -Covered it up. 456 00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:31,410 But, Dad, you said you were never gonna cover up again. 457 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,390 I tried not to, but covering up is all I know. 458 00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:36,580 So, I went to the king of cover-ups. 459 00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,060 Who do you think hid all that nuclear waste 460 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,230 under Denver's airport? 461 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:43,720 -This guy. -[laughing] Oh, you. 462 00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,740 Great, we were saved by an evil deed 463 00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:52,240 from the man whose evil deeds we were trying to un-evil. 464 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,520 But, Waylon, our whole drunken plan 465 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,690 was to use bad money to do good things. 466 00:19:57,770 --> 00:19:59,920 And now we can. 467 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,940 -Robin Hood? -Robin Hood. 468 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:03,510 -[bones crack] -♪ Don't stop ♪ 469 00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,090 -♪ Me now ♪ -♪ 'Cause I'm having ♪ 470 00:20:05,090 --> 00:20:06,440 -♪ A good time ♪ -♪ Don't stop ♪ 471 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,110 -♪ Me now ♪ -♪ Yes, I'm having ♪ 472 00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:10,370 ♪ A good time, I don't want to stop ♪ 473 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,350 ♪ At all ♪ 474 00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,110 ♪ Yeah, I'm a rocket ship ♪ 475 00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,930 ♪ On my way to Mars on a collision course ♪ 476 00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,880 ♪ I am a satellite ♪ 477 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,710 ♪ I'm out of control ♪ 478 00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:23,610 ♪ I'm a sex machine ready to reload ♪ 479 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,280 ♪ Like an atom bomb ♪ 480 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,290 ♪ About to, whoa, oh, oh ♪ 481 00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:29,370 ♪ Oh, oh, explode ♪ 482 00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:32,390 ♪ I'm burning through the sky, yeah. ♪ 483 00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:39,400 You will be housed here in wine jail 484 00:20:39,550 --> 00:20:42,130 while you await your trial in Springfield wine court. 485 00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:43,290 Wine court? 486 00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,890 Yes. Wine crimes are too sophisticated 487 00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,970 for the undeveloped legal palate 488 00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:49,320 of the American system. 489 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,970 She sold a champagne that was actually a prosecco. 490 00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:55,580 He called his wine a Beaujolais nouveau 491 00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,320 but there was nothing nouveau about it. 492 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,490 And he's in solitary for his own protection. 493 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:02,000 We don't take kindly 494 00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,160 to oenophiles here. 495 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,980 And here is where we house our worst offenders: 496 00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:08,490 wine counterfeiters. 497 00:21:08,490 --> 00:21:11,580 Come back later to try our toilet wine! 498 00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:15,230 We are trying to recreate a 1974 San Quentin. 499 00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:16,840 Shh. 500 00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:18,770 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 501 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,770 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 502 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,320 and TOYOTA. 35562

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