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>> thindor, my 20-sided die may
Have failed me,
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But I won't wail.
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My father's sword shall not.
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>> oh, my god.
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>> what, too harsh?
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>> no.
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>> I-I don't want to get flagged
By a moderator.
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>> no, a plain crashed, you
[bleep] Hole.
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>> shocking video of
Presidential candidate
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Xander crews' campaign jet
Slamming into the dirt outside
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Of the town.
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>> xander: man, I'm glad we
Weren't on that.
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>> yep.
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>> xander: that plane was, like,
Boosh!
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00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:25,667
>> yep.
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>> 19 people perished, including
Team jaguar's own
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Darcelle jones.
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But xander crews parachuted to
Safety.
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>> xander: ka-kow!
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[ beep ]
Okay, first thing is I need a
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Bigger, ass-kickier jet.
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>> no. No more jets.
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>> xander: stan.
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>> besides the fact that they're
A magnet for stinger missiles...
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>> xander: yeah, who do you
Think did that?
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>> ...You've got a serious image
Problem.
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>> xander: my only problem is I
Don't have a jet, and me and
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Fred dryer aren't on it.
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>> it --
>> xander: shut up.
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[ beep ]
Ashley, where are we on
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Fred dryer?
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>> fred dryer?
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>> xander: yes, fred dryer.
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>> oh, no.
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>> xander: what?
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00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,417
>> I've been calling for
Fred hunter.
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You know what I think happened?
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00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:03,125
>> xander: you got 'em mixed up?
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>> I think I got 'em mixed up.
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00:01:04,583 --> 00:01:07,083
>> xander: yeah, 'cause he's
Hunter and you got 'em mixed up.
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>> yeah.
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>> xander: god, you know --
>> I have a mnemonic device.
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>> just hang up.
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>> fred dryer is hunting.
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>> oh, for [bleep] Sake!
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>> xander: just get him on the
Phone!
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>> [ speaks indistinctly ]
[ beep ]
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>> xander: ugh!
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Now, what is this you're
Talking?
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>> you're a billionaire playboy.
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>> xander: ka-kow!
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>> the american public can't
Relate to you.
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>> xander: duh!
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>> we've got to remold your
Image, get people to look at you
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And say, "Now, there's a fella
With whom I'd like to share a
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Cold b-r-rewski."
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>> xander: yeah, and I bet
That's just how they'd say it.
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>> for starters, you'll campaign
In a bus.
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Then you need to get married.
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>> xander: us, spit take!
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>> a bachelor cannot win the
Presidency.
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>> xander: well --
>> freaks people out.
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So you need to bite the bullet
And marry grace ryan.
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>> xander: [ laughs ]
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>> you know...
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>> xander: what are you doing
Here?
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>> [ sighs ]
Apparently wasting my time.
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>> xander: well, not just your
Time.
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00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,292
You know?
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I'm trying to run for president.
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>> but we have got a serious
Image problem.
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>> killface: well, everybody
Loves me.
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Greenpeace, the sierra club.
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Who is it -- norml.
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>> yes, but the environmentalist
Vote --
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>> killface: and taqu'il's been
Out, you know, rallying the
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Negroes.
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>> taqu'il: man, I'm just trying
To get back the votes you
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Already lost.
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And stokely avenue a.M.E. Zion
Church, just remember this.
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Somebody's probably going to
Assassinate him and then guess
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Who will be president.
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[ cheers and applause ]
Can I get an "Amen"?!
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00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,833
But, yeah, we're making strides.
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00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:43,250
>> killface: what if we gave out
Little bottles of grape soda
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With our logo on them?
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>> taqu'il: you got to stop with
The grape sodas.
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00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,250
>> killface: orange.
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>> and you need to broaden your
Base.
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00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:52,167
>> killface: well, now we're
Just all over the map.
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Mr. Ford, what do you think?
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>> mr. Ford: I think why you
Call me on sunday?
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Me and vernon james is fixing to
Make the time.
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Then five is one hitter for the
Back nine.
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00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:02,417
>> killface: we were just
Wondering about the poll.
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00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,458
>> mr. Ford: yeah, I got your
Pole right here.
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[ beep ]
Ugh!
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Talking about my penis!
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Come on, vernon.
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Let's burn one down.
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>> killface: hello?
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[ dial tone ]
You know, how much do we pay
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Him?
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>> mr. Ford: heh, you wouldn't
Believe me if I told you.
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[ chuckles ]
>> we need to win over middle
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America.
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You know, get the nascar crowd.
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>> killface: ew.
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>> taqu'il: what's nascar?
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>> and I can't think of a better
Way to do that then for you to
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Go --
>> ...To the annual north fork
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Duck hunt.
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>> xander: um, I'm assuming
That's as rednecky as it sounds.
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>> all the big candidates do the
North fork.
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>> xander: no kidding.
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>> tromping around in the
Boonies, killing some birds.
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Fantastic photo op.
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>> xander: I go hunting every
Year.
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>> that's not hunting!
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>> xander: yeah, so, this is
Probably on the down low, but
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00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,083
Every year I go on these sort
Of -- I guess they're like
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Gray-market safaris.
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>> is that a panda bear?
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>> xander: yep, the most
Dangerous game.
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>> man -- man is the most
Dangerous game.
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>> xander: well, tell that to a
Mommy panda protecting her cubs.
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>> that's disgusting.
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>> xander: you should see when
They skin it.
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>> god.
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>> xander: seriously, you'll
Puke your guts out.
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>> so, you're doing the
North fork, and that's just all
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There is to it.
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>> xander: all right, bossy!
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God!
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>> so, should I just stay here?
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>> xander: yeah, you just...
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Keep doing what you're doing.
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[ quacking ]
>> killface: [ sighs ]
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I look like a pushup.
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00:04:24,917 --> 00:04:26,375
>> well, I think you look
Dashing.
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>> taqu'il: [ laughs ]
>> killface: you know, you
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Should be out doing this, too.
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>> taqu'il: two movies --
"Surviving the game,"
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"Deliverance."
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00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:33,333
Not gonna happen.
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>> it could be a lot worse.
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>> killface: impossible.
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>> you could look like him.
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>> xander: whoo-hoo!
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Boosh!
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>> killface: now, what's he
Doing here?
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>> just enjoying a day of
Hunting, as so many regular
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Americans do, and perhaps later
He'll enjoy some nascar.
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>> taqu'il: seriously, what is
That?
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Is that a band?
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00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,208
>> mr. Face, aren't you worried
You'll alienate the
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Environmentalist vote by
Participating in today's hunt?
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>> killface: I cured global
Warming, all right?
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So if I want to bag a few
Birds...
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Shut up.
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00:05:03,042 --> 00:05:04,625
>> all right, I think that's
Enough.
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>> xander: hey, "Douchington"!
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Nice bus, little rascals!
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>> killface: well, nice plane
You had.
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>> xander: now, see?
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>> killface: past tense!
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00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:12,542
>> xander: what's he mean by
That?
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>> killface: buddy!
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>> xander: think he might have
Been involved.
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>> killface: ooh, can you hear
Me?
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I thought I bit off that ear!
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>> xander: I got a prosthetic
One, dick!
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Which, pretty sweet we make
These.
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>> all right.
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>> xander: I bet I kill twice as
Many ducks as you!
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>> killface: ha!
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This marsh will run red with the
Fruits of my vicious slaughter!
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>> within the legal limit, of
Course.
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>> xander: maybe at your mom's
House!
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>> killface: well, m--
Wait, what?
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>> xander: [ snorts ]
>> and so now mr. Crews will
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Hunt.
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>> xander: well, then put down
The bamboo.
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00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:41,250
>> what [bleep] Bamboo?
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>> xander: you got to put a big
Pile of it down, and then the
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Mommy panda comes out and she's
All, "I'm gonna find some bamboo
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For my babies."
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00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:48,833
And you're like "Pow!"
[ quacking ]
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Peel her one.
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>> get out there, you idiot!
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00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,917
>> killface: what, out there in
The mushy wet part?
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>> that's where the ducks are.
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Oh, he's kidding.
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00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:55,792
He lov to hunt.
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00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:57,375
>> killface: what if there's
Snakes?
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>> you have a shotgun.
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00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,375
>> killface: oh, right.
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00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:01,125
>> big believer in the second
Amendment.
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00:06:01,208 --> 00:06:02,958
>> killface: yeah, whatever that
Is.
200
00:06:03,042 --> 00:06:03,958
All right, I'm off.
201
00:06:04,042 --> 00:06:05,917
>> taqu'il: hey, try to shoot a
Fish for lamont!
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00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,417
>> [ quacking ]
>> taqu'il: bird, this is a duck
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00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,125
Hunt.
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00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:11,208
You got to chill on the
Quacking.
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00:06:11,292 --> 00:06:15,250
>> [ whimpers ]
[ duck call sounds ]
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>> killface: hah!
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What?
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00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:19,875
Those aren't even real.
209
00:06:19,958 --> 00:06:21,667
This whole thing is ridiculous.
210
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:22,958
>> that's what I'm saying!
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00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:24,208
>> killface: ah!
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00:06:24,042 --> 00:06:26,542
>> you know, security-wise, all
These guns around, nobody's
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00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:27,625
Checking credentials.
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00:06:27,708 --> 00:06:28,625
It's totally unsafe!
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00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:30,708
>> killface: I almost shot your
Face off.
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00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:32,917
>> well, somebody's gonna get
Shot out here.
217
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,583
You can pretty much bank on
That.
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00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:36,292
>> yes, you can.
219
00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:40,750
[ laughs ]
220
00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:43,500
Oh [bleep] I forgot to go
To the bank.
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00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,750
>> but don't you worry, papa
Bear.
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00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:45,958
Old wendell's got your back.
223
00:06:46,042 --> 00:06:47,750
>> killface: yes, and it's a
Good feeling.
224
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:48,833
>> and, hey, look at me.
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00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:49,833
>> killface: all right.
226
00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:50,625
>> look at me.
227
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,542
>> killface: all right.
228
00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:54,833
>> you stay frosty out here.
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00:06:54,917 --> 00:06:57,667
>> killface: well, wendell,
I'll --
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00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,750
Hmm.
231
00:06:58,833 --> 00:07:01,167
Like to have a thought balloon
Over that guy's head.
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00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,875
[ duck call sounds ]
>> killface: ooh, maybe that's
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00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:04,458
Some ducks.
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00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:06,125
I'll run over there.
235
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:14,208
[ duck call sounds ]
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00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:15,250
>> xander: ha!
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>> killface: hey...
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00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,000
Jerk.
239
00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:25,958
>> xander: yeah, nice one...
240
00:07:26,042 --> 00:07:26,500
Jerk.
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00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:27,542
>> killface: you lost, too?
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00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:29,958
>> xander: yeah, I've been
Following the quacking.
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00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:32,375
>> killface: yeah, it keeps
Getting farther and farther
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00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:33,583
Away from the drier bits.
245
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,417
>> xander: yeah, I am
Soaking-ass wet.
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00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,625
>> killface: it's freezing.
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00:07:36,708 --> 00:07:37,458
You have any food?
248
00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:38,458
>> xander: no, do you?
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00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,375
>> killface: no, and I'm about
To keel over.
250
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:43,000
>> xander: yeah, usually by this
Time, I'm honking down a big old
251
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:44,167
Panda steak with home fries.
252
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,250
>> killface: well, I don't know
What that means.
253
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,208
>> xander: you think they're
Looking for us?
254
00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:50,750
>> xander: both presidential
Candidates out lost in a duck
255
00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:51,833
Bog?
256
00:07:51,917 --> 00:07:53,083
They must be.
257
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,458
>> taqu'il: man, I can't believe
This.
258
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,833
>> well, it's not like we can
Stay out there all night.
259
00:07:57,917 --> 00:08:00,250
>> taqu'il: no, I can't believe
I've been missing out on this
260
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,417
White-knuckle thrill ride.
261
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,042
Lookit! Junior's making a move!
262
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,333
>> god love him.
263
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,917
>> all right, who's ready for
Another tom collins?
264
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,167
>> see? Now, he gets me.
265
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,708
>> killface: damn it, now I
Think we're even more lost.
266
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,292
>> xander: it kind of reminds me
Of that time we were wading
267
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:16,125
Through the sewer.
268
00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:17,625
It's almost the exact same plot.
269
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:20,250
>> killface: because it kind of
Reminds me of the time I wish
270
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,167
You'd shut up.
271
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,167
>> xander: oh, you got me.
272
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,583
>> killface: I said, "Are you
Sure this is the way?"
273
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,708
And you said, "Yes, killface,
This is the way.
274
00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:27,458
I'm sure of it."
275
00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:28,625
That's how you talk.
276
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:31,125
[ high-pitched voice ] "Yes,
Killface, this is the way."
277
00:08:31,208 --> 00:08:33,083
>> xander: it was a take-charge
Moment.
278
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:35,292
>> killface: you wouldn't --
[ duck call sounds ]
279
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:36,583
>> xander: what was that?
280
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:38,042
>> killface: blow your thing.
281
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:40,000
>> xander: why don't you blow
My thing?
282
00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:41,625
[ laughs ]
>> killface: damn it.
283
00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:42,792
You know...
284
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,042
>> xander: you can't softball it
In there like that, man.
285
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:45,792
>> killface: ass.
286
00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:46,958
>> xander: oh, lighten up.
287
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,125
>> killface: it's over that way.
288
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:49,792
>> xander: dibs on the dark
Meat!
289
00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:50,708
>> killface: shut up!
290
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:51,583
>> xander: she said.
291
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:53,333
>> killface: turn 6 already!
292
00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:54,750
>> xander: it's what she said!
293
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:56,208
>> killface: god!
294
00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:59,750
Well, why did you take -- of
Course they're cold.
295
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:01,208
Why did you take your shoes off?
296
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:03,417
>> xander: so I could kind of
Feel around with my toes.
297
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,250
>> killface: why?!
298
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:09,083
>> xander: for frog eggs to eat.
299
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,083
Ribbit.
300
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:11,583
>> killface: there's not frogs's
Eggs down there.
301
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,333
>> xander: well, not with that
Attitude.
302
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:15,083
And I definitely heard some
Frogs.
303
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:19,875
>> killface: your lack of
Woodcraft is...
304
00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:21,125
>> xander: ribbit.
305
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:22,375
Damn it!
306
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:26,708
I used to have this kick-ass
Flare gun, which actually would
307
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:28,250
Be handy right now.
308
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,375
>> killface: that's it!
309
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:30,417
>> xander: what's it?
310
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,792
>> killface: our guns -- we
Shoot them in the air.
311
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,625
>> xander: there's definitely no
Ducks.
312
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:35,958
>> killface: no, you idiot.
313
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:39,208
It's the international cry for
Help in the wilderness.
314
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:40,208
Three quick shots.
315
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:41,500
>> xander: where'd you hear
That?
316
00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:43,417
>> killface: it was in -- oh,
God, what was it?
317
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,500
There was this great bear.
318
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,167
>> xander: was it that movie,
"The bear"?
319
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:47,208
>> killface: shut up. No.
320
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:48,542
>> xander: "B.J. And the bear"?
321
00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:50,208
>> killface: tony hopkins was in
It.
322
00:09:50,042 --> 00:09:51,333
>> xander: oh, god. Is he great?
323
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:53,417
>> killface: I could watch him
Read the phone book.
324
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,625
>> xander: and pay to see it.
325
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:56,458
>> killface: I'd like to just
Smell his hair.
326
00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:59,000
Anyway, he did that, got
Rescued, and, I think, reunited
327
00:09:59,083 --> 00:10:00,000
With elle macpherson.
328
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,083
>> xander: you're sure that's
Not "The bear"?
329
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:02,833
>> killface: yes!
330
00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:03,792
Now cover your ears.
331
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:05,625
>> xander: wait, why do you get
To do it?
332
00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:07,167
>> killface: well, it was my
Idea.
333
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,958
>> xander: yeah, but I got us
Lost.
334
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,042
>> killface: just more lost.
335
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:12,208
We were pretty decently lost to
Begin with.
336
00:10:12,042 --> 00:10:14,250
>> xander: but I put our actual
Lives in jeopardy.
337
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:17,083
>> killface: well, do you want
To argue about it until we both
338
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:17,958
Die of hypothermia?
339
00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:19,542
>> xander: no, but I'm prepared
To.
340
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:21,333
>> killface: fine, we'll do it
Together!
341
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:24,958
>> xander: [ laughs ]
>> killface: would you turn 6,
342
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:25,542
Please?!
343
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,667
>> xander: sorry. Here we go.
344
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,458
>> killface: three quick ones on
Three.
345
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,042
>> xander: why do you get to
Count?
346
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:31,333
>> killface: god, all right.
347
00:10:31,417 --> 00:10:32,083
You count.
348
00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:33,042
>> xander: all I'm asking.
349
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:33,750
One...
350
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:34,792
>> killface: oh, my god.
351
00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:35,708
>> xander: damn it.
352
00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:36,958
>> killface: "The edge"!
353
00:10:37,042 --> 00:10:40,583
Tony hopkins, alec baldwin,
Elle macpherson, black guy from
354
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,167
"Oz," whacking great bear.
355
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,042
"The edge."
356
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:46,750
Why aren't you counting?
357
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:47,750
Are you going to count?
358
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:48,583
>> xander: shut up!
359
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:49,833
>> killface: I'm just saying.
360
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:50,875
>> xander: I'm counting.
361
00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:52,208
>> killface: well, then count!
362
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:52,958
>> xander: one...
363
00:10:53,042 --> 00:10:54,042
>> killface: it was "The edge."
364
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,208
>> xander: yeah, I got it.
365
00:10:55,292 --> 00:10:56,333
>> killface: tony hopkins.
366
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:57,042
Here we go.
367
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:59,458
>> xander: two...
368
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:03,750
[ splashing ]
>> three.
369
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:05,833
[ duck call sounds ]
26597
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