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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,249 That's a loud... 2 00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:31,332 Yeah. 3 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,125 I'm a robot. 4 00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:37,167 And a spider. 5 00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:39,333 And a spider. 6 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,458 No. 7 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:45,582 No, no, no, no. 8 00:00:45,583 --> 00:00:48,374 Okay. Okay. Babe, stop. 9 00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:49,582 Stop. 10 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,291 - Oh, we need some crunchy snacks, right? - Hi! 11 00:00:52,292 --> 00:00:54,541 Oh, hi. Oh, my God. 12 00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:56,374 Sally, what are you doing here? 13 00:00:56,375 --> 00:00:58,624 I'm visiting my mom for the weekend. 14 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,832 Baby, this is Sally. 15 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:04,874 Yeah, Sally took over your mom's job at the gallery after you were born. 16 00:01:04,875 --> 00:01:07,416 Oh, he's super cute. 17 00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:09,957 Do you just love getting to be home with him all the time? 18 00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:11,249 Must be so wonderful. 19 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:15,041 Yeah. I mean, that's a... that's a good question, you know? 20 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,916 But it's complicated though because, I mean, 21 00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:19,957 I would love to feel content. 22 00:01:19,958 --> 00:01:24,999 But instead, I feel like I'm just stuck 23 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,666 inside of a prison of my own creation where I torment myself 24 00:01:28,667 --> 00:01:31,207 until I'm left binge eating Fig Newtons at midnight 25 00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,249 to keep from crying. 26 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:36,291 And I feel like societal norms, and gender expectations, 27 00:01:36,292 --> 00:01:39,791 and just plain old biology, have forced me to become this person 28 00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:43,374 that I don't recognize, and I'm just angry all the time. 29 00:01:43,375 --> 00:01:45,541 Like, all the time. Like... 30 00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:48,124 And, you know, I would love to direct some of my own artwork 31 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:50,082 towards a critique of the modern day systems 32 00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:53,124 that articulate this, but my brain just doesn't function 33 00:01:53,125 --> 00:01:56,582 the way that it did before I had the baby, and I'm dumb now. 34 00:01:56,583 --> 00:02:00,166 And I am deeply afraid that I am never going to be smart, 35 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:04,500 or happy, or thin ever again. 36 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,207 Do you just love getting to be home with him all the time? 37 00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:09,582 Must be so wonderful. 38 00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:11,957 Oh, yeah, I do. I love it. 39 00:02:11,958 --> 00:02:13,917 I do. I love being a mom. 40 00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,250 Seven, eight. 41 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:27,708 Wow. 42 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,125 Yucky. 43 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:33,375 Look it... Look at the house. 44 00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:38,333 Uh-oh. 45 00:02:43,083 --> 00:02:44,541 I'm hungry. 46 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,124 I'm gonna eat you. 47 00:02:57,958 --> 00:03:01,291 Ooh! That scared me. 48 00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:02,582 Up to the moon! 49 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,832 To the moon! 50 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,041 Are you okay? 51 00:03:10,042 --> 00:03:11,917 Four, five. 52 00:03:14,917 --> 00:03:16,333 Where's the duck one? 53 00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:20,291 Where? 54 00:03:20,292 --> 00:03:21,375 No! 55 00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:25,417 You know. 56 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,749 One, two, three, four, five, 57 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,499 six, seven, eight, 58 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,833 nine, ten. 59 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,917 You light a fire early in your girlhood. 60 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,999 You stoke it and tend to it. 61 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,333 You protect it at all costs. 62 00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:47,457 You don't let it rage into a mountain of light, 63 00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:49,958 because that's not becoming of a girl. 64 00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:53,625 You keep it secret. 65 00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,042 You let it burn. 66 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:04,707 It's from this point, this fire, 67 00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:06,832 you can create and fight 68 00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,624 and push your way through the world. 69 00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:11,708 It's from this fire that you can birth something new. 70 00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,832 A new version of yourself or a whole new person 71 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:19,167 who didn't exist before you squeezed them into the world. 72 00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:25,875 A person who will one day pee in your face without blinking. 73 00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:39,666 Let's go see the truck. 74 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:40,999 Let's go, yeah. 75 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,708 Where's the...? 76 00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,124 - The what? - The... 77 00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:46,499 - The truck? - Yeah. 78 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,875 It's up the street. 79 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:49,999 It's up the street? 80 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,082 Yeah. 81 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,707 - Is the truck there? - Yeah. 82 00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:55,666 We have to put that on the street again. 83 00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,624 - Yeah? - Yes. 84 00:04:57,625 --> 00:05:01,292 They're going to... next to the street with the green truck. 85 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,917 - He's on the back of that. - You think so? 86 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,832 Oh, he looks pretty strong. I bet he can do it. 87 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:12,917 No. 88 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,374 No, it turned away. 89 00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:22,707 - Higher. - Higher? 90 00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:23,999 How high? 91 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,457 - Higher up to the moon. - To the moon? 92 00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:28,166 We're going inside. 93 00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:29,249 This? 94 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:32,041 Yeah, we're gonna go in there. That's what we're doing. 95 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:34,041 - Yeah. - We can go. 96 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,874 People can't say no to us. 97 00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:38,457 They can't say no to us. That's right. 98 00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,374 - Hi, Norma. - In the ocean, too. 99 00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:43,957 Some decomposers even help clean water. 100 00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:47,707 - Book Babies. - Wow. I had no idea. 101 00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:49,000 Oh, shit. 102 00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:53,707 * I go for a ride on my favorite bike * 103 00:05:53,708 --> 00:05:56,457 * I'll tell you what I see * 104 00:05:56,458 --> 00:06:00,207 * It's a warm summer day as I pedal by the lake * 105 00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:02,582 * And right in front of me * 106 00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:05,332 * Is a poor little duck with a bill too big * 107 00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:08,082 * And eyes like buttered peas * 108 00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:09,499 * His feathers are pink... * 109 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,499 The problem is I just don't enjoy the company of other moms. 110 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,750 *...on water skis * 111 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:19,125 * Oh, what's up with that duck? * 112 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,292 * What's up with that duck? * 113 00:06:24,042 --> 00:06:26,374 * Oh, what's up... * 114 00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:28,207 I think becoming friends with another woman 115 00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:30,791 simply because we're both mothers is pathetic. 116 00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:33,042 * What's up with that duck? * 117 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:37,791 * I go for a drive in my favorite car * 118 00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:39,582 - * I'll tell you what I see... * - Of course, if I happen to meet 119 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:43,041 a beautiful, smart, hilarious woman 120 00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:45,166 and we became friends, 121 00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:47,666 we bond over hating Book Babies. 122 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,541 * He's putting on skates and as he makes figure eights * 123 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,374 - No. No. - * I see he's munching... * 124 00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:59,417 * Oh, what's up with that duck? * 125 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,417 * What's up with that duck? * 126 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:09,167 * Oh, what's up with that duck? * 127 00:07:10,625 --> 00:07:13,250 * What's up with that duck? * 128 00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:18,917 * It's time to say goodbye * 129 00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:21,707 * Goodbye to our friends * 130 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,624 * Thanks for singing along * 131 00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:24,707 Oh, thank God. 132 00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:29,167 * We had lots of fun but this is our final song * 133 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,416 * So goodbye to... * 134 00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:33,833 Zarah Beverly. 135 00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,541 * And goodbye to... * 136 00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:38,083 Caden. 137 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:42,124 * And goodbye to... * 138 00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:44,916 Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! 139 00:07:44,917 --> 00:07:46,333 Mom! 140 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,500 I'm not coming here... 141 00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:52,792 I'm gonna fuck you up. 142 00:07:53,458 --> 00:07:55,375 I'm the worst mother in the world. 143 00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:01,583 Do you... Oh, I'm sorry. 144 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,250 Do you like paint and sip? 145 00:08:05,292 --> 00:08:06,875 You're an artist, right? 146 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:09,166 Did I tell you that? 147 00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,582 Oh, we chatted at mommy-baby yoga. 148 00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:12,832 Just for a sec though. Jen. 149 00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:15,041 - So, do you paint or do something else? - No. 150 00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:16,874 I used to do more immersive art, 151 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:20,082 - sculptures, and found materials. - Oh, like installations? 152 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,624 Sorry to eavesdrop. I just... I'm a big art fan. 153 00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:23,957 - Oh, are you? - Yeah. Yeah. 154 00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:25,500 - She is. - Me, too. 155 00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:28,124 I used to live in the city and I spent my lunch breaks 156 00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:29,958 at the Modern, like, every day. 157 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:32,708 I showed some work at the Modern once. 158 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,042 - Wow. - Wow. 159 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,999 But that feels like a lifetime ago, so... 160 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,082 - Yeah. - Right. 161 00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:41,166 - Totally. - Definitely. 162 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:42,249 - We get it. - Yeah. 163 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,625 I used to be a stripper... 164 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:45,207 if you can believe that. 165 00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:50,375 It was fun though, but just for a little while, not... 166 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,166 The before times. 167 00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:54,499 Yes. Yes. 168 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,832 - Gosh. - Right. 169 00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:58,207 You know, I really have to get him home for his nap. 170 00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,499 Oh, yeah. Right. 171 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,416 Yeah. 172 00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,624 - Okay. - Well, maybe we'll see you next week. 173 00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:04,916 Yeah. He's tired. 174 00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,624 Yeah, of course. 175 00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,667 Aww... Yes. 176 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,707 - So cute. - Yeah. 177 00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:11,792 I know. 178 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:14,332 - Oh, my gosh. - I love her. 179 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,666 - She's fun. - She's fun, huh? 180 00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:16,749 She is. 181 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:19,500 "Goodnight, goodnight, construction site. 182 00:09:20,542 --> 00:09:23,332 Down in the big construction site, the tough trucks work 183 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,416 with all their might." 184 00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:26,125 They washed their feet. 185 00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:30,166 "Reaching, stretching, lifting high, 186 00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:32,791 he swings the beams into the sky." 187 00:09:32,792 --> 00:09:35,374 "So no more huffing and puffing, teams." 188 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,332 What's this one? 189 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,207 Look at his big teeth. 190 00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:40,667 Where is it? 191 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:42,249 Where is it? 192 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:46,749 "One by one, they'll go to bed to yawn and rest their sleepy heads." 193 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,541 Now, I'm yawning. 194 00:09:48,542 --> 00:09:49,917 Can I get down? 195 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:52,083 No, we're gonna go sleepies, remember? 196 00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:53,832 No. 197 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,957 - No. - Please? 198 00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:57,499 No. 199 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,666 - No. - Aren't you so tired? 200 00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,082 - All... - No. 201 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,916 - All the vehicles are tired. - No. 202 00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:04,124 - Yes. - No. 203 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,874 Who is the dad? 204 00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,707 No, no, no. Come on. 205 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,667 Come on. Come on. 206 00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:11,417 All right. 207 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,500 - Now, let's sleep again. - No. 208 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,292 It's okay. Yeah, I know. 209 00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:17,958 It's okay. 210 00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:21,082 We'll just play quiet mouse game. 211 00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:23,250 Do you wanna play quiet mouse? 212 00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,707 Can you be quiet mouse? 213 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:26,791 Candy. 214 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,832 - Honey. - No. 215 00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,041 No. 216 00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:32,249 No. 217 00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:33,916 No! 218 00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:36,250 It's my fault he doesn't sleep. 219 00:10:37,042 --> 00:10:38,583 I shouldn't be mad at him. 220 00:10:40,042 --> 00:10:42,166 Now, everybody told me, but I just didn't listen 221 00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:46,583 because I liked it when he slept on my chest like a cozy warm heater. 222 00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:51,499 I should've put him down drowsy, but still awake like all the books said, 223 00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:55,708 and then he would have great sleep habits for the rest of his life. 224 00:10:56,958 --> 00:11:00,749 And I would always have a clean kitchen, a good sex life, 225 00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,707 and life would be amazing. 226 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,167 But now I fucked that up. 227 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,292 Now what? 228 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,000 Maybe if I don't move, he won't see me. 229 00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:19,000 Mwah. 230 00:11:25,292 --> 00:11:26,582 I love you. 231 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:27,707 Yum. 232 00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,124 I love you. 233 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:30,957 I love you. 234 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,332 - I love you. - I love you. 235 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:37,042 - I love you. - Oh. 236 00:11:39,417 --> 00:11:40,791 Mommy. 237 00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:42,583 Let's play horsey. 238 00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:45,125 Okay. 239 00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:50,582 * All around the mulberry bush * 240 00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:53,457 * Where something chased the weasel * 241 00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:56,292 * Monkey thought it was really fun * 242 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,207 * Pop goes the weasel * 243 00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:01,667 Is that good? 244 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,166 Mama fuzzy. 245 00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:06,374 What? 246 00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:07,957 I'm not fuzzy. 247 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,666 Mama fuzzy. 248 00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:10,916 Where am I fuzzy? 249 00:12:10,917 --> 00:12:13,083 - Right here. - Ow! 250 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:30,124 Oh, goody. 251 00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:38,292 What fresh hell awaits you today? 252 00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,542 I've got some gray hairs. 253 00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,208 A lot of gray hairs and some... 254 00:12:46,542 --> 00:12:47,958 new wrinkles. 255 00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:57,875 Huh... 256 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,208 Huh. 257 00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:17,583 Okay. 258 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,792 Well, that's where we're at. 259 00:13:24,292 --> 00:13:25,292 Okay. 260 00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:27,708 Let me get some tweezers. 261 00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,457 Daddy, daddy, daddy. 262 00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:37,792 Hey, bud. 263 00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:42,500 Uh-oh. Spaghetti-O. 264 00:13:42,958 --> 00:13:46,417 Sometimes, I swear, it's like they don't realize that I have a life. 265 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,499 I'd much rather be here at home with you guys 266 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,499 than sitting at some hotel room at 11:00 o'clock at night, 267 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,291 typing up reports on a Thursday. 268 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:55,707 Oh, how annoying. 269 00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:56,957 It really was. 270 00:13:56,958 --> 00:14:00,124 Well, we had a fine week. We went to Book Babies, didn't we? 271 00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:01,499 Book Babies. 272 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,999 I thought you hated Book Babies. 273 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:03,957 Oh, I do. 274 00:14:03,958 --> 00:14:06,750 You still alive, you old furball? 275 00:14:07,292 --> 00:14:10,041 Speaking of furballs... 276 00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:12,582 - What? - I don't know. No. 277 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,374 - What? - I shouldn't have brought it up. 278 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,000 Well, no. Tell me. What? 279 00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:17,958 Well, I'm just... 280 00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:22,499 I don't know. I'm having some weird side effects from perimenopause. 281 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,666 I'm not sure. 282 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,125 Which is weird hairs seem to be sprouting up. 283 00:14:26,958 --> 00:14:28,708 Are you talking about your nipples? 284 00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,333 No. 285 00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:32,917 I-I don't know. I just feel off. 286 00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,707 It's like I feel like I have this heightened sense of smell, 287 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,041 kind of like when I was pregnant. 288 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:37,999 Mm. 289 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,125 Like the cat's butt smells disgusting to me. 290 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,166 The cat's butt smells disgusting to me too, though. 291 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:44,792 And look at my teeth. Hm? 292 00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:46,499 See how sharp they are? 293 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,874 Right. Definitely. 294 00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:49,042 That's weird. 295 00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:51,957 Oh, honey. This is real. 296 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,624 This is not in your head. 297 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:54,957 Stop it. 298 00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:57,082 You always think that something's wrong with you. 299 00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:59,249 Well, that's the thing about being a hypochondriac, 300 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,499 is someday I'll be right and you'll be sorry. 301 00:15:09,417 --> 00:15:12,082 I can't remember the last time that I washed this shirt. 302 00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:13,582 You're living the dream. 303 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:16,333 Yeah, I'm the housewife I never wanted to be. 304 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,249 You know, the hardest part is that like I'm always on suicide watch. 305 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:24,791 Like, if I turn my head for just a second, he's gonna stick a fork 306 00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:27,875 into a light socket or he's gonna walk off a cliff. 307 00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:33,166 It's better than leaving him with those awful ladies at that awful daycare. 308 00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,000 Oh, that was heartbreaking. 309 00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:42,874 If you wake him up, I will rip your throat out. 310 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,333 Okay. Okay. 311 00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:49,332 Look, I kind of thought this is what you wanted, you know? 312 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:52,207 No more late nights at the gallery, you know, 313 00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,582 crying in the bathroom while you pumped your boobs. 314 00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,833 I did, I do, I do. I just... 315 00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,999 Maybe if I could get a part-time job. 316 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,000 You know, the math doesn't totally add up. 317 00:16:04,792 --> 00:16:08,333 You know, the likelihood that you'd make more than we'd have to pay a sitter is... 318 00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:12,416 Well, may... maybe when he starts school. 319 00:16:12,417 --> 00:16:14,999 Yeah. Just gotta hold out till kindergarten. 320 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,083 Yeah. 321 00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,083 And then I think... 322 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,167 what right do I have to complain? 323 00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:25,374 You know, it's a gift I get to stay home with my baby all day long. 324 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:26,458 I should be grateful. 325 00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:32,458 I would kill to stay home with him every day, for what it's worth. 326 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,749 You think that you would, 327 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,917 but I assure you, you would not. 328 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,416 Two, three! Whoo! 329 00:16:43,417 --> 00:16:45,917 One, two, three! Whoo! 330 00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:48,749 - One, two, three. - Three. 331 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:49,958 Whoo! 332 00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:52,666 They're coming after... 333 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:53,832 All right. 334 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,542 What's next? 335 00:16:56,042 --> 00:16:57,750 Um, bath time. 336 00:16:58,208 --> 00:16:59,207 I got it. 337 00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:00,874 Oh, thank you. 338 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:02,791 Who wants to do a daddy bath? 339 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,707 - Me. - All right! 340 00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:07,457 - Yeah! Say, "Woo-hoo, daddy bath!" - Thank you. 341 00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:09,041 Daddy bath. 342 00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:10,582 That's right. 343 00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:13,499 - Daddy bath. - Daddy bath. 344 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,208 I'll take a bath, too. 345 00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:29,707 Honey? 346 00:17:29,708 --> 00:17:32,292 Can you grab him some toast? He said he's hungry. 347 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:42,291 Honey, can you grab his sippy cup? 348 00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:43,792 My hands are full. 349 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:53,416 Honey, you mind throwing a towel in the dryer? 350 00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:54,833 Warm it up for him? 351 00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:07,875 What? 352 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,667 Nothing. 353 00:18:14,417 --> 00:18:17,375 It's just when you're gone, I do this by myself every day. 354 00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:26,458 - What happened? - I... nothin'. 355 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,125 Mama, Dada. 356 00:18:42,917 --> 00:18:44,875 Mama, Dada. 357 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,333 - Mommy and Daddy. - Mm. 358 00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:54,875 Hey. 359 00:18:58,542 --> 00:19:00,374 - Can you not hear him? - What? 360 00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,042 You fucking do something? 361 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:10,166 Here, buddy. Go to sleep. 362 00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,791 - No. - Okay? 363 00:19:11,792 --> 00:19:13,583 Go to sleep. 364 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:22,291 Mama! 365 00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:23,707 Ma... 366 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:27,917 Did you make coffee yet? 367 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,124 No, not yet. 368 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,208 Will you do it? 369 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,542 Sure. 370 00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:39,792 Is it two scoops? 371 00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:42,333 Well, I do three. 372 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000 Alright. 373 00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:07,417 So, last night, you were, um, kind of a... 374 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,707 Um... 375 00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:11,958 A bitch? 376 00:20:13,542 --> 00:20:14,708 Well... 377 00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:17,792 You said it, not me. 378 00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:19,542 Yeah. 379 00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:21,417 Nightbitch. 380 00:20:22,292 --> 00:20:24,417 I am Nightbitch. 381 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,291 That's not true. 382 00:20:37,292 --> 00:20:38,541 Bye-bye, Dada. 383 00:20:38,542 --> 00:20:40,041 Is Daddy gonna be back? 384 00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:41,542 Yeah, he'll be back. 385 00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:47,749 Enjoy getting four full nights of sleep. 386 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,250 Oh, honey. 387 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,374 Are you gonna be okay? 388 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:53,916 Yeah, I'll be fine. 389 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:58,208 You know, you should really stop worrying about your weird hair growth or whatever. 390 00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:01,042 You know, get on top of your week... 391 00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:02,917 you know, structure, you know. 392 00:21:03,458 --> 00:21:04,666 I read an article once 393 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:07,250 that said that structure was the key to mental health. 394 00:21:07,792 --> 00:21:10,499 You're gonna make up a plan, draw up a schedule, 395 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,291 and treat it like it's your job. 396 00:21:12,292 --> 00:21:14,333 Happiness is a choice. 397 00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:21,416 Happiness is a choice. 398 00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:22,625 I'll try. 399 00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:24,332 - Okay. - Okay. 400 00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:25,832 Say, "Bye, Daddy." 401 00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:27,666 Bye, Daddy. 402 00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:29,417 Bye! 403 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,750 We'll do a tiny part and now I... 404 00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:37,500 and I did this part, and then I did... 405 00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:44,166 Mama! 406 00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:45,417 Uh-huh. 407 00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:53,416 Oh, my God. 408 00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:55,291 Oh, wow. Where did you guys come from? 409 00:21:55,292 --> 00:21:56,499 Hi. 410 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,041 Are these your dogs? Oh, hi. 411 00:22:01,417 --> 00:22:02,500 Mama. 412 00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:04,957 Yeah. I guess they're nice. 413 00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:06,042 Yeah. 414 00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:08,916 - Hi. - Who are these doggies? 415 00:22:08,917 --> 00:22:09,999 I don't know. 416 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,916 Who do you belong to? 417 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,707 - Are these yours? - No. 418 00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:16,082 - Anybody? - You smell like strawberries. 419 00:22:16,083 --> 00:22:18,541 You smell like strawberries. She does. 420 00:22:19,958 --> 00:22:21,207 We're coming with you. 421 00:22:21,208 --> 00:22:22,374 Come on. 422 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,042 We'll chase the doggies, come on. 423 00:22:24,833 --> 00:22:25,957 Let's get 'em! 424 00:22:25,958 --> 00:22:27,249 Get 'em! 425 00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,210 - Big dogs. - Come on! Wait for us! 426 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,166 Wait for us! 427 00:22:32,167 --> 00:22:33,332 You got it! 428 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,417 Come on! 429 00:22:36,583 --> 00:22:37,582 Look at that. 430 00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:40,082 Yeah, they're way down there. We're gonna catch 'em, come on. 431 00:22:40,083 --> 00:22:41,541 - You want me to carry you? - Yeah. 432 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:42,875 Okay. Come on. 433 00:22:44,458 --> 00:22:46,457 Let's get 'em! Come on! 434 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:57,958 Fall down. 435 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,624 My mother once told me, 436 00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:42,167 she almost became a famous singer in Europe, 437 00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,707 but she stayed back and had us instead. 438 00:23:56,875 --> 00:23:57,999 What else did we see? 439 00:23:59,792 --> 00:24:00,874 Oh, there's one. 440 00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:02,082 It's green. 441 00:24:02,083 --> 00:24:03,457 What's green? 442 00:24:03,458 --> 00:24:06,291 Okay. So we're gonna have an art day, okay? 443 00:24:06,292 --> 00:24:09,124 - Why? - So it's gonna be a lot of fun, okay? 444 00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:10,999 So we're just gonna put those paints. 445 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,666 - Careful. - And a lots. 446 00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:13,916 Lots, okay. 447 00:24:13,917 --> 00:24:16,124 - There's... What color is this? - Orange. 448 00:24:16,125 --> 00:24:17,707 - Orange. Good job. - And green. 449 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:21,333 And... yellow. 450 00:24:21,875 --> 00:24:23,833 What are you gonna paint, hmm? 451 00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:26,667 Now, what are you gonna make? 452 00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:28,750 A circle. 453 00:24:29,292 --> 00:24:32,332 Yeah. Put your fingers in it, really get a feel of the paint. 454 00:24:32,333 --> 00:24:33,832 - It's right... - Yeah. 455 00:24:33,833 --> 00:24:34,916 ...here. 456 00:24:34,917 --> 00:24:36,292 Great. 457 00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:42,458 Okay. It's so nice. 458 00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:48,000 Oh, yeah. 459 00:24:49,667 --> 00:24:51,083 Beautiful. 460 00:24:52,708 --> 00:24:54,207 - What are you gonna do? - I'm gonna put paint on you. 461 00:24:57,625 --> 00:24:59,166 - Oh, that's great. - More paint. 462 00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:00,666 That's great. I love this. 463 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:02,624 Ooh! Oh, are you okay? 464 00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:04,874 - Yeah. - Are you okay, honey? 465 00:25:04,875 --> 00:25:07,416 - I'm gonna get more... - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 466 00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:08,792 No, not on the wall. 467 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,291 You're free. 468 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:12,792 No rules today. 469 00:25:13,208 --> 00:25:14,583 Oh, that is so creative. 470 00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,750 Oh, I'm gonna touch your cheek. 471 00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:26,083 Oh, thank you. That's so nice. Thank you. 472 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:27,792 ...all over. 473 00:25:28,625 --> 00:25:30,374 It's great. Do it on the paper. 474 00:25:30,375 --> 00:25:32,124 Come do it on the paper. Oh! 475 00:25:34,542 --> 00:25:36,249 I'm gonna put it on my butt. 476 00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:37,333 Baby... 477 00:25:38,042 --> 00:25:39,957 Can you... can you not do that? 478 00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:45,791 No, no, no, no, no, no! 479 00:25:45,792 --> 00:25:48,042 No, no! 480 00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:06,750 What's up with that duck? 481 00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:11,000 What's up with that duck? 482 00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:14,667 What's up with that duck? 483 00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:16,333 Fuck! 484 00:26:28,208 --> 00:26:30,499 Why do these memories of my mother before she died 485 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:31,791 keep coming back to me? 486 00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:33,042 Why now? 487 00:26:42,167 --> 00:26:43,667 Oh, fuck! 488 00:27:08,292 --> 00:27:09,375 Ow. 489 00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:22,042 I'm hysterical. 490 00:28:22,542 --> 00:28:24,875 I am hormonal, and I'm hysterical. 491 00:28:26,833 --> 00:28:27,917 Hay... 492 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:31,000 smoke, honey. 493 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,624 A bit of fungal musk. Amazing. 494 00:28:33,625 --> 00:28:36,874 Could I always smell like this, or was I just not paying attention? 495 00:28:36,875 --> 00:28:38,208 Or is a...? 496 00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:42,582 Vegetables are very civilized. 497 00:28:42,583 --> 00:28:43,666 Yes. 498 00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:45,749 Dogs wouldn't buy vegetables. 499 00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:46,833 Look. 500 00:28:47,542 --> 00:28:48,750 - Ahh. - Ah. 501 00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:13,167 Huh. 502 00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:21,500 It's you. 503 00:31:21,833 --> 00:31:22,833 Hi. 504 00:31:29,167 --> 00:31:30,166 No. 505 00:31:30,167 --> 00:31:32,749 Oh! 506 00:31:32,750 --> 00:31:33,916 Stop. No! 507 00:31:46,833 --> 00:31:48,917 Mommy had a weird dream last night. 508 00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:52,332 Do you wanna eat on the porch? 509 00:31:52,333 --> 00:31:53,417 Yeah. 510 00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:59,667 Oh, don't let the cat out. 511 00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:08,749 Oh, honey, honey. 512 00:32:08,750 --> 00:32:09,874 Yuck, yuck, yuck. Where did you get that? 513 00:32:09,875 --> 00:32:10,957 No, no, no. Put it down. 514 00:32:10,958 --> 00:32:12,416 Put it down. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. 515 00:32:14,833 --> 00:32:16,917 Yuck. 516 00:32:18,375 --> 00:32:19,541 Bunny. 517 00:32:25,792 --> 00:32:27,041 - Come on. - Why? 518 00:32:27,042 --> 00:32:28,249 - Let's go inside, okay? - Why? 519 00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:29,541 We're gonna wash your hands. 520 00:32:29,542 --> 00:32:31,957 - Why? - Okay. It's yucky, huh? 521 00:32:31,958 --> 00:32:33,332 - We don't want... - It's yucky. 522 00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,707 No, we don't wanna touch those, right? 523 00:32:42,625 --> 00:32:43,749 Maybe you could give me 524 00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:46,166 more of a sense of what you're looking for. 525 00:32:46,167 --> 00:32:49,916 Anything in the realm of women turning into animals, 526 00:32:49,917 --> 00:32:52,375 transformation, metamorphosis. 527 00:32:53,875 --> 00:32:54,874 I'm doing a project. 528 00:32:54,875 --> 00:32:57,332 I'm just looking for a scientific perspective. 529 00:32:57,333 --> 00:32:59,375 Or... metaphysical. 530 00:33:02,667 --> 00:33:07,499 Well, there is this book, it's labeled "mythical ethnography" 531 00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:10,041 but it's... really, it's quite scientific. 532 00:33:10,042 --> 00:33:12,458 Field Guide to Magical Women. 533 00:33:12,917 --> 00:33:13,917 Have you heard of this? 534 00:33:20,042 --> 00:33:22,124 - Thank you, Norma. - Mm-hm. 535 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,542 - We're gonna get going. - Yeah. 536 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,582 "My introduction to this topic came about serendipitously. 537 00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:30,332 I was interested in the ways 538 00:33:30,333 --> 00:33:33,583 that womanhood manifests on a mythical level. 539 00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:38,166 The bird women of Peru lived in tall leafy boughs in the rainforest 540 00:33:38,167 --> 00:33:39,541 where they constructed intricate 541 00:33:39,542 --> 00:33:42,375 and breathtaking nests from sticks and reeds. 542 00:33:43,542 --> 00:33:46,916 The bird women sprouted feathers and beaks in their 60s, 543 00:33:46,917 --> 00:33:49,708 but only after they had children who had grown. 544 00:33:56,708 --> 00:33:58,957 " The bird women spent the latter parts of their lives 545 00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:00,749 flitting from tree to tree, 546 00:34:00,750 --> 00:34:04,208 producing the loveliest calls and learning to fly." 547 00:34:13,542 --> 00:34:14,625 Mama, poop. 548 00:34:15,875 --> 00:34:16,958 Poop. 549 00:34:17,458 --> 00:34:18,708 Oh, my... 550 00:34:24,042 --> 00:34:27,042 - Mac and cheese. - Mac and cheese, great. 551 00:34:28,208 --> 00:34:29,583 One more. 552 00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:31,916 Do some mac and... 553 00:34:31,917 --> 00:34:33,167 Meatloaf. 554 00:34:33,875 --> 00:34:36,041 - Can you share some...? - What's that? 555 00:34:36,042 --> 00:34:37,832 Can you share with me mac and cheese? 556 00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,833 Mm-hm. Yeah, we're gonna share it. That's right. 557 00:34:43,417 --> 00:34:44,792 Oh. 558 00:34:47,208 --> 00:34:49,292 I think I'm anemic. 559 00:34:49,917 --> 00:34:51,958 All right. Here you go, baby. 560 00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:53,625 Let's eat. 561 00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:56,957 - Here. - I need a fork. 562 00:34:56,958 --> 00:34:58,042 Well, here. 563 00:35:02,458 --> 00:35:03,582 Uh-oh. 564 00:35:16,375 --> 00:35:17,708 Mmm... 565 00:35:25,708 --> 00:35:27,166 That's real good, ain't it? 566 00:35:49,542 --> 00:35:51,166 We're doggies, right? 567 00:36:02,042 --> 00:36:03,333 Woof. 568 00:36:04,292 --> 00:36:06,957 So much fun to have a boy, right? 569 00:36:06,958 --> 00:36:09,624 We used to play dogs, too, my son and I. 570 00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:13,457 Oh. So much fun, and he just loved it. 571 00:36:13,458 --> 00:36:15,875 I didn't know that, that you had kids. 572 00:36:39,792 --> 00:36:41,250 Oh, don't go, Norma. 573 00:36:41,708 --> 00:36:43,082 Tell me about your son. 574 00:36:43,083 --> 00:36:44,666 Did you work when he was little? 575 00:36:44,667 --> 00:36:46,832 Did you make all of the right choices? 576 00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:49,124 Is there anything that you would've done differently? 577 00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:51,124 Tell me the secrets. 578 00:36:59,208 --> 00:37:00,292 Dada. 579 00:37:43,125 --> 00:37:44,500 We're out of milk. 580 00:37:45,167 --> 00:37:46,207 We are? 581 00:37:46,208 --> 00:37:49,208 Yeah. We got 20 pounds of raw meat and no milk. 582 00:37:54,458 --> 00:37:55,625 Come on, buddy. 583 00:37:58,083 --> 00:37:59,708 Can you shut the door? 584 00:38:10,333 --> 00:38:11,957 I don't understand how we're out of milk. 585 00:38:11,958 --> 00:38:13,291 Because he drank it. 586 00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:15,042 Yeah, but did you know? 587 00:38:15,708 --> 00:38:16,832 Did I know? 588 00:38:16,833 --> 00:38:19,082 Did you know that we were out of milk? 589 00:38:20,208 --> 00:38:21,458 I don't know. 590 00:38:21,917 --> 00:38:23,250 What is that supposed to mean? 591 00:38:24,958 --> 00:38:27,707 This is the first shower that I have had in a week. 592 00:38:27,708 --> 00:38:29,707 I've been to the grocery store three times, 593 00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:31,332 but I haven't washed my body in four days. 594 00:38:31,333 --> 00:38:33,082 So clearly I didn't know we were out of milk 595 00:38:33,083 --> 00:38:34,499 or I would've gotten some. 596 00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:36,624 But you're welcome to go to the supermarket with our son 597 00:38:36,625 --> 00:38:37,707 and get some milk. 598 00:38:37,708 --> 00:38:39,666 Oh, and pick me up some tampons while you're there 599 00:38:39,667 --> 00:38:41,332 because I think I'm about to start to bleed 600 00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:42,832 and this one's gonna be a doozy. 601 00:38:42,833 --> 00:38:43,957 Okay. 602 00:38:43,958 --> 00:38:45,958 That's enough, all right? Jeez. 603 00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:53,707 Perfect. 604 00:38:53,708 --> 00:38:56,999 - No. - "Construction site all tucked in tight." 605 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,707 - No. No. - Shh. 606 00:38:58,708 --> 00:39:01,292 "The day is done, turn off the light. 607 00:39:02,208 --> 00:39:04,457 Great work today now." Shh. 608 00:39:04,458 --> 00:39:05,833 - No. - Shh. 609 00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:08,249 You don't want to go to bed? 610 00:39:08,250 --> 00:39:09,791 Go to sleep, please. 611 00:39:09,792 --> 00:39:11,082 - No. - Please go to sleep. 612 00:39:11,083 --> 00:39:12,291 I'm not going to sleep. 613 00:39:15,375 --> 00:39:16,458 No. 614 00:39:18,042 --> 00:39:19,542 No bed ever. 615 00:39:28,833 --> 00:39:30,375 Nitro boosters. 616 00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:32,375 See you later, suckers. 617 00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:39,333 Is he down? 618 00:39:41,542 --> 00:39:42,542 It's your turn. 619 00:39:44,458 --> 00:39:45,958 He doesn't want me. 620 00:39:47,125 --> 00:39:49,375 I don't care that he doesn't want you. 621 00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:54,291 Hey, I have been doing night-nights every night, 622 00:39:54,292 --> 00:39:57,457 of every day for 200 years, 623 00:39:57,458 --> 00:39:59,125 and it's fucking killing me. 624 00:39:59,583 --> 00:40:02,249 You have to do night-nights. It's your turn for night-nights. 625 00:40:02,250 --> 00:40:03,417 All right. 626 00:40:04,917 --> 00:40:08,125 But just for the record, I don't like the term "night-night." 627 00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:12,417 Okay. Okay. Okay. 628 00:40:24,542 --> 00:40:27,042 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 629 00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:30,207 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 630 00:40:30,208 --> 00:40:32,332 I just... I'm sorry. 631 00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:33,874 I'm sorry. I just... 632 00:40:33,875 --> 00:40:38,958 I don't want anything else needing me or touching me. 633 00:40:42,375 --> 00:40:43,374 Over here. 634 00:40:43,375 --> 00:40:44,458 What is it? 635 00:40:44,958 --> 00:40:46,041 Take a look. 636 00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:47,402 We should get out of here. 637 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:49,749 Let's split up. 638 00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:50,958 Don't leave. 639 00:40:52,333 --> 00:40:53,583 You wanna... 640 00:40:55,917 --> 00:40:57,082 you know? 641 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,083 God, no. 642 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:09,624 I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I meant like... 643 00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:11,416 That was like... that was a little harsh. 644 00:41:11,417 --> 00:41:13,374 Well, I'm just in so much pain. 645 00:41:13,375 --> 00:41:14,708 You have no idea. 646 00:41:15,167 --> 00:41:18,125 - Okay. Well, like, I didn't know that. - Well... 647 00:41:19,708 --> 00:41:23,500 And also, I have eight nipples now, and I fear you'll be repulsed. 648 00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:35,332 No! 649 00:41:35,333 --> 00:41:37,916 "In Hindu mythology, Sarama is a she dog 650 00:41:37,917 --> 00:41:40,416 serving the warrior-god, Indra. 651 00:41:40,417 --> 00:41:44,041 She is the mother to all clawed creatures. 652 00:41:44,042 --> 00:41:48,041 In Greek mythology, the chimera embodied all things domestic 653 00:41:48,042 --> 00:41:50,624 and motherly, a goat who nurses young 654 00:41:50,625 --> 00:41:52,041 and cares for the home front 655 00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:55,666 and simultaneously possesses the qualities of a beast." 656 00:42:01,792 --> 00:42:02,792 Mama? 657 00:42:30,875 --> 00:42:32,291 If my mother were still alive, 658 00:42:32,292 --> 00:42:34,583 I would have some serious questions for her. 659 00:42:39,417 --> 00:42:41,500 How did she deal with the anger, 660 00:42:42,958 --> 00:42:45,500 the resentment for all that she didn't do? 661 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,749 How many women have delayed their greatness 662 00:42:49,750 --> 00:42:52,150 while the men around them didn't know what to do with theirs? 663 00:42:55,083 --> 00:42:57,917 I'd ask her if she ever regretted becoming a mother. 664 00:43:01,083 --> 00:43:03,041 Where should we go next, the mammals? 665 00:43:03,042 --> 00:43:05,291 Sure. 666 00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:06,791 Yeah? You wanna go there? 667 00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:09,041 I don't... I don't wanna go to mammals. 668 00:43:09,042 --> 00:43:11,291 I can't believe this. 669 00:43:11,292 --> 00:43:13,832 - Here you are. - Hey. Jen. Oh, wow. 670 00:43:13,833 --> 00:43:16,582 It is so weird to see you out in the wild. 671 00:43:16,583 --> 00:43:18,082 I mean, out of context. 672 00:43:18,083 --> 00:43:20,249 - Hi. I'm Jen. - Hi, Jen. 673 00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:22,708 - So nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 674 00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:26,332 So, are we gonna see you at baby yoga or tyke hike this week? 675 00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:27,582 Oh, no, another time. 676 00:43:27,583 --> 00:43:28,832 Poo. 677 00:43:28,833 --> 00:43:30,791 - Okay. Next time. - Okay. 678 00:43:30,792 --> 00:43:32,124 All right. Come on, kiddos. 679 00:43:32,125 --> 00:43:35,166 Let's go see some more dinosaur bones, right? 680 00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:40,750 Who the hell was that? 681 00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:43,917 She's just a mom from Book Babies. 682 00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:45,958 Hm. 683 00:43:58,167 --> 00:44:00,292 I think I'm having a bit of a realization. 684 00:44:03,667 --> 00:44:05,042 What's your realization? 685 00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:14,792 I don't think I'm an artist anymore. 686 00:44:16,875 --> 00:44:18,125 Oh, honey. 687 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,082 I don't know why I'm getting upset. I'm not upset. 688 00:44:22,083 --> 00:44:25,292 No, no, no, you don't... you don't seem upset at all. 689 00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:30,750 Because I just have... 690 00:44:31,667 --> 00:44:34,374 this running list of all of the things that I'm not doing every day, 691 00:44:34,375 --> 00:44:36,624 and all of the ways that I'm falling behind as an artist. 692 00:44:36,625 --> 00:44:39,375 And I think that if I could focus on what I am doing, 693 00:44:39,917 --> 00:44:42,083 then I would be much happier. 694 00:44:43,750 --> 00:44:45,957 I could... I could see that, yeah. 695 00:44:45,958 --> 00:44:49,416 And I should focus on being the best mom that I can be 696 00:44:49,417 --> 00:44:51,416 and really enjoying these moments with him, 697 00:44:51,417 --> 00:44:53,333 because this isn't going to last. 698 00:44:55,167 --> 00:44:57,042 He's growing up so fast. 699 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,000 Uh-oh. 700 00:45:02,625 --> 00:45:03,625 And besides... 701 00:45:04,667 --> 00:45:07,749 you know, being an artist is like the most silly, 702 00:45:07,750 --> 00:45:10,041 self-absorbed thing you can be. 703 00:45:10,042 --> 00:45:12,917 It's truly an embarrassing job to say out loud. 704 00:45:16,417 --> 00:45:19,166 It's just such a relief in just letting it all go, you know? 705 00:45:19,167 --> 00:45:20,583 - Good. - Yeah. 706 00:45:21,333 --> 00:45:24,542 I'm just really focusing on being in this moment with him. 707 00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:31,500 Okay. 708 00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:36,583 I mean, if that's what you want. 709 00:45:39,958 --> 00:45:41,000 Yeah. 710 00:45:43,042 --> 00:45:44,292 Okay. 711 00:45:50,708 --> 00:45:52,042 Mama. 712 00:47:04,625 --> 00:47:07,417 I am hair, and blood, and bone. 713 00:47:08,458 --> 00:47:10,082 I am instinct and anger. 714 00:47:14,250 --> 00:47:16,292 I know nothing but the night air. 715 00:47:20,292 --> 00:47:21,833 I have one thought. 716 00:47:22,458 --> 00:47:24,625 I am an animal. 717 00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:05,125 I'm gonna crush its skull. 718 00:48:08,208 --> 00:48:11,042 Blood! Blood, blood, blood! 719 00:48:12,750 --> 00:48:13,833 Ooh, blood! 720 00:48:18,667 --> 00:48:22,457 I was once a girl, then a woman, 721 00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:24,958 a bride, a mother, 722 00:48:25,750 --> 00:48:28,208 and now I will be this. 723 00:48:33,625 --> 00:48:34,875 Where did you go? 724 00:48:37,375 --> 00:48:38,750 I went for a run. 725 00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,208 I needed to clear my mind. 726 00:48:48,292 --> 00:48:49,875 Did you run barefoot? 727 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,417 You're so dirty. 728 00:49:00,333 --> 00:49:01,625 Can I get in? 729 00:49:03,333 --> 00:49:04,416 Sure. 730 00:49:16,292 --> 00:49:17,749 I am a woman. 731 00:49:17,750 --> 00:49:19,875 I am an animal. 732 00:49:20,417 --> 00:49:23,333 I am new and also ancient. 733 00:49:25,542 --> 00:49:29,000 I have been ashamed, but I will be no more. 734 00:49:30,042 --> 00:49:32,207 - Okay. Say, "Bye." - Bye. 735 00:49:32,208 --> 00:49:33,791 Can you give a good wave to Daddy? 736 00:49:33,792 --> 00:49:35,957 - Bye, Daddy. - Bye, Daddy. 737 00:49:35,958 --> 00:49:37,708 There he goes. 738 00:49:38,208 --> 00:49:39,666 Wave goodbye. 739 00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:41,749 - Bye. - Yeah. 740 00:49:43,042 --> 00:49:44,999 - Should we go have some fun? - What? 741 00:49:46,625 --> 00:49:48,249 Should we do this? 742 00:49:48,250 --> 00:49:50,124 Should we act like doggies? 743 00:50:11,833 --> 00:50:16,000 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, that's... You! 744 00:50:20,792 --> 00:50:22,833 Squirrel. Let's go get it. 745 00:50:24,667 --> 00:50:25,666 Come on. 746 00:50:25,667 --> 00:50:27,624 Maybe this is the secret to happiness. 747 00:50:28,958 --> 00:50:31,292 We're just animals. 748 00:50:33,708 --> 00:50:36,792 Are you hiding out on a boat, you silly puppy? 749 00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:39,082 - Should I do ears? - Yes. 750 00:50:46,583 --> 00:50:49,249 It's for you. 751 00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:51,375 Look. Look at this. 752 00:50:53,583 --> 00:50:57,166 And do doggies go night-night in their own beds? 753 00:50:57,167 --> 00:50:59,125 Yes, they do. 754 00:51:00,542 --> 00:51:03,500 And do doggies need binkies? 755 00:51:04,542 --> 00:51:06,082 No. 756 00:51:06,083 --> 00:51:07,708 That's so silly. 757 00:51:10,417 --> 00:51:12,041 * Dare to be stupid * 758 00:51:15,417 --> 00:51:17,832 - Woof. - All right. 759 00:51:17,833 --> 00:51:19,417 Goodnight, doggy. 760 00:51:53,125 --> 00:51:55,499 There you go, come on. 761 00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:56,708 There. 762 00:51:59,875 --> 00:52:01,082 Hi, Norma. 763 00:52:01,083 --> 00:52:02,916 Look, baby, it's Norma. 764 00:52:02,917 --> 00:52:04,457 Shh. It's a quiet area. 765 00:52:04,458 --> 00:52:06,957 I just wanted to thank you for that book recommendation. 766 00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:09,374 I have to say, it was exactly what I was looking for. 767 00:52:09,375 --> 00:52:11,041 Just doing my job. 768 00:52:15,250 --> 00:52:17,249 Well, look what the cat dragged in. 769 00:52:17,250 --> 00:52:19,832 - Hi, ladies. - Hi. 770 00:52:19,833 --> 00:52:21,499 - He's a dog today. - Oh. 771 00:52:21,500 --> 00:52:22,916 - Sure. - Yeah. 772 00:52:22,917 --> 00:52:25,916 - Cute. - "Wheels on the Bus," everyone. 773 00:52:25,917 --> 00:52:27,624 - Yeah. Here. I save you a seat. - Thank you. 774 00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:31,999 * The wheels on the bus go round and round * 775 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,416 * Round and round, round and round * 776 00:52:35,417 --> 00:52:39,624 * The wheels on the bus go round and round * 777 00:52:39,625 --> 00:52:42,416 * All through the town * 778 00:52:42,417 --> 00:52:44,291 You're not you anymore. 779 00:52:44,292 --> 00:52:47,791 Oh, my God, you should join us for our Friday morning hike, right? 780 00:52:47,792 --> 00:52:49,207 - Yeah. - Yes. 781 00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:50,957 No, I really don't hike. 782 00:52:50,958 --> 00:52:52,582 Oh, no. Don't worry. 783 00:52:52,583 --> 00:52:54,374 We don't do anything too major. 784 00:52:54,375 --> 00:52:57,332 You know, just a few miles early in the morning before it gets too hot. 785 00:52:57,333 --> 00:52:58,541 Sounds awful. 786 00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:04,750 You're so funny. Oh, you're so funny. 787 00:53:05,250 --> 00:53:06,792 I can't hike far these days. 788 00:53:07,208 --> 00:53:08,957 Oh, yeah, how are you feeling? May I? 789 00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:10,417 Of course. 790 00:53:14,875 --> 00:53:17,042 You smell like strawberries. 791 00:53:19,333 --> 00:53:20,750 Strawberry shampoo. 792 00:53:21,542 --> 00:53:22,583 What was that? 793 00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:26,624 Sorry, my sense of smell is just really strong right now. 794 00:53:26,625 --> 00:53:29,874 Tell me about it. I threw up from the smell of the trash this morning. 795 00:53:29,875 --> 00:53:32,124 That's because you're pregnant. 796 00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,875 That's where it all starts. 797 00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:36,874 There's a change in our genetic makeup. 798 00:53:36,875 --> 00:53:40,624 Nobody talks about the cellular change that happens when we become mothers. 799 00:53:40,625 --> 00:53:42,291 Yes, nobody does. 800 00:53:42,292 --> 00:53:45,707 Nobody tells you that you're never gonna jump on 801 00:53:45,708 --> 00:53:48,541 a trampoline again either. Right? 802 00:53:48,542 --> 00:53:50,624 Not to mention, that the whole concept of motherhood 803 00:53:50,625 --> 00:53:52,457 that we're sold is such bullshit. 804 00:53:52,458 --> 00:53:55,291 You're going to be expected to figure the whole thing out 805 00:53:55,292 --> 00:53:58,957 on your own without any village to speak of. 806 00:53:58,958 --> 00:54:01,582 You're going to get no maternal benefits from the government. 807 00:54:01,583 --> 00:54:04,082 You're going to get mocked by popular culture. 808 00:54:04,083 --> 00:54:07,249 And-and there's basically a billion-dollar industry 809 00:54:07,250 --> 00:54:10,667 that's designing products to make you feel like you're a terrible mother. 810 00:54:14,708 --> 00:54:18,708 But seriously, congratulations. 811 00:54:20,792 --> 00:54:23,207 I mean, you're totally right. 812 00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:26,707 My sister who lives in Berlin now got two years paid maternity leave. 813 00:54:26,708 --> 00:54:27,833 Wow. 814 00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:31,792 I can't believe I'm gonna go through this all again. 815 00:54:32,958 --> 00:54:34,000 Birth. 816 00:54:36,792 --> 00:54:39,125 That's so fucking intense. 817 00:54:40,208 --> 00:54:41,875 How do you think Daniel will do? 818 00:54:42,625 --> 00:54:44,332 He always tells the story of my first birth 819 00:54:44,333 --> 00:54:47,749 and how the doctor turned around said, "It's time to get that baby out." 820 00:54:47,750 --> 00:54:50,582 And there was a vein popping on my forehead. 821 00:54:50,583 --> 00:54:52,833 I was like a wild animal. 822 00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:54,917 Yeah, a wild animal. 823 00:54:57,333 --> 00:54:58,999 Oh, my God, yes. 824 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,749 My husband said the same thing, 825 00:55:00,750 --> 00:55:04,458 that the sounds coming out of me were pure animal. 826 00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:08,624 He almost passed out. 827 00:55:08,625 --> 00:55:11,292 - I mean, he's not good with blood, but... - Yeah, right. 828 00:55:13,750 --> 00:55:17,792 Do you ever feel like the big secret is that we are gods? 829 00:55:20,625 --> 00:55:21,667 What? 830 00:55:23,750 --> 00:55:26,457 We fucking create life. 831 00:55:26,458 --> 00:55:28,124 We make life. 832 00:55:29,792 --> 00:55:31,417 We are so powerful. 833 00:55:33,250 --> 00:55:36,374 I bet men are terrified of us. I mean, look at you. 834 00:55:36,375 --> 00:55:41,583 You are this miraculous goddess growing bones as we speak. 835 00:55:46,042 --> 00:55:47,583 I am pretty powerful. 836 00:55:57,125 --> 00:55:57,999 Oh... 837 00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,375 - Wow. - Yeah. 838 00:56:02,125 --> 00:56:04,749 I guess I just don't fully understand. 839 00:56:04,750 --> 00:56:07,542 It's just a game. We play dogs, and he loves it. 840 00:56:08,292 --> 00:56:09,500 Hm. 841 00:56:12,792 --> 00:56:14,749 And he's eating out of dog bowls? 842 00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:16,499 Sometimes. 843 00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:19,124 Yes, sometimes we eat out of perfectly new, 844 00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:21,542 never been used by a real dog, dog bowls. 845 00:56:23,167 --> 00:56:25,499 And he's-he's-he's wearing a collar? 846 00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:27,916 Well, he wanted to be domesticated. 847 00:56:27,917 --> 00:56:30,083 I was against it, but... 848 00:56:32,083 --> 00:56:35,541 - All right. - And he sleeps in a dog bed. 849 00:56:35,542 --> 00:56:37,999 - What now? - No, but I don't have to lie with him 850 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,707 for hours until he falls asleep. 851 00:56:39,708 --> 00:56:42,207 I just give him a little growl, 852 00:56:42,208 --> 00:56:44,332 and then he gets into bed on his own, 853 00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:46,332 and he falls asleep without his binky. 854 00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:47,542 It's a miracle. 855 00:56:51,417 --> 00:56:55,166 Look, I don't wanna be critical, but don't you think 856 00:56:55,167 --> 00:56:57,583 this might be a little bit confusing for him? 857 00:56:58,708 --> 00:57:00,082 Well, for him or for you? 858 00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:02,957 Come on. You gotta admit this is a little bit weird. 859 00:57:02,958 --> 00:57:05,416 No, I don't. I don't see what the problem is. 860 00:57:05,417 --> 00:57:07,791 He is sleeping, which means I'm sleeping for the first time 861 00:57:07,792 --> 00:57:10,749 in two fucking years, and I'm getting plenty of exercise. 862 00:57:10,750 --> 00:57:13,707 So my back doesn't hurt when I wake up anymore. 863 00:57:13,708 --> 00:57:17,167 I mean, I'm just trying to have some fun. 864 00:57:18,292 --> 00:57:19,666 When did you become so uptight? 865 00:57:21,875 --> 00:57:23,249 - Bite my neck. - Huh? 866 00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:24,499 Bite my neck. 867 00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:25,625 Okay. 868 00:57:36,292 --> 00:57:37,542 Can you speak? 869 00:57:38,375 --> 00:57:40,832 - Woof! - Oh, good job. 870 00:57:40,833 --> 00:57:42,832 - Woof speak. - There you go. 871 00:57:45,833 --> 00:57:48,249 It's just a little party trick we're working on. 872 00:57:48,250 --> 00:57:50,542 Right, the, uh, the dog thing. 873 00:57:51,208 --> 00:57:53,124 Oh, you feel left out, honey? 874 00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:54,624 No. 875 00:57:54,625 --> 00:57:55,917 Here you go. 876 00:57:57,125 --> 00:57:58,499 - Beg. - Mm-mm. 877 00:57:58,500 --> 00:57:59,625 Beg. 878 00:58:03,250 --> 00:58:04,374 [pants 879 00:58:04,375 --> 00:58:05,874 Good boy. 880 00:58:06,917 --> 00:58:08,874 Oh, gosh, shut up. 881 00:58:08,875 --> 00:58:10,874 We fed you, you stupid animal. 882 00:58:10,875 --> 00:58:12,457 Stupid animal. 883 00:58:12,458 --> 00:58:15,249 Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty. 884 00:58:15,250 --> 00:58:19,041 I'm gonna throw you up on the roof and let you starve to death up there. 885 00:58:19,042 --> 00:58:22,332 And maybe a chicken hawk will swoop down and grab him in its talons 886 00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:24,832 while he's up there and then take him up into the sky 887 00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:28,416 and drop him from a very high height 888 00:58:28,417 --> 00:58:33,541 into a deep quarry, where heaving mining equipment 889 00:58:33,542 --> 00:58:37,292 with caterpillar treads will repeatedly run over its broken corpse. 890 00:58:43,417 --> 00:58:46,499 - Where's the tunnel? - Right there. That's the tunnel. 891 00:58:46,500 --> 00:58:47,832 It's gonna blow the horn. 892 00:58:47,833 --> 00:58:49,291 Yee-haw! 893 00:58:49,292 --> 00:58:50,374 Hi. 894 00:58:50,375 --> 00:58:51,832 Yee-haw! 895 00:58:57,958 --> 00:59:01,791 Hey, I took your advice, and I made a plan for us, a schedule. 896 00:59:01,792 --> 00:59:03,707 - Oh, great. - Yeah. 897 00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:05,416 No, come see. 898 00:59:05,417 --> 00:59:07,832 Okay. So Monday, it's gymnastics play space. 899 00:59:07,833 --> 00:59:10,416 Tuesday is Book Babies at the libraries, my fave. 900 00:59:10,417 --> 00:59:12,457 Wednesdays, mommy baby yoga. 901 00:59:12,458 --> 00:59:14,124 Thursday is free day. See? 902 00:59:14,125 --> 00:59:16,624 And Friday is a tyke hike. 903 00:59:16,625 --> 00:59:17,874 See the pictures? 904 00:59:17,875 --> 00:59:19,416 - Wow. - Yeah. 905 00:59:19,417 --> 00:59:21,374 - Okay. - Because if I'm gonna do this, 906 00:59:21,375 --> 00:59:24,500 I should just really commit, right? 907 00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:26,916 - Right. - Right. 908 00:59:28,792 --> 00:59:31,457 Um, oh, you remember that I said that I would meet up with my friends 909 00:59:31,458 --> 00:59:33,707 from grad school in the city tonight, right? 910 00:59:33,708 --> 00:59:36,167 Yes. Yes, I'm babysittin'. 911 00:59:36,792 --> 00:59:38,957 It's not babysitting when it's your own kid. 912 00:59:38,958 --> 00:59:40,791 Whatever. You know what I mean. 913 00:59:40,792 --> 00:59:44,666 I'm on bedtime duty and you're going to have a grownup dinner. 914 00:59:44,667 --> 00:59:48,249 Yeah. 9:00 p.m. which is four hours later than I usually eat. 915 00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:59,291 * The wheels on the bus go round and round * 916 00:59:59,292 --> 01:00:02,291 * Round and round, round and round * 917 01:00:10,333 --> 01:00:12,874 It's got like an ironic wink to it. 918 01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,541 I didn't get that. 919 01:00:14,542 --> 01:00:18,416 I feel you have to come from a certain background to feel that irony. 920 01:00:19,375 --> 01:00:23,999 You know, work that is examining social media like my piece is tricky. 921 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,582 - We've lost some objectivity. - Right. 922 01:00:26,583 --> 01:00:30,375 I'm working on a video piece about one woman's day, 923 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,666 taking over 24 hours side by side with an actress 924 01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:37,707 who is acting out that same day in that very same space. 925 01:00:37,708 --> 01:00:39,541 Masturbating, shitting. 926 01:00:39,542 --> 01:00:42,041 But how will you know which woman is the woman? 927 01:00:42,042 --> 01:00:43,541 Exactly. 928 01:00:43,542 --> 01:00:44,916 That's the genius of it. 929 01:00:44,917 --> 01:00:46,416 What it is to be watched. 930 01:00:46,417 --> 01:00:47,999 Is anyone not watched? 931 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,667 Wow. That sounds really interesting. 932 01:00:54,542 --> 01:00:56,499 Are you working on anything? 933 01:00:56,500 --> 01:00:58,332 - Me? - Mm-hm. 934 01:00:58,333 --> 01:01:00,792 Oh, um... No, no. 935 01:01:01,625 --> 01:01:03,582 No, I'm not really working on anything. 936 01:01:03,583 --> 01:01:04,708 Nope. 937 01:01:07,542 --> 01:01:09,416 We have a beautiful sea bass tonight. 938 01:01:09,417 --> 01:01:11,082 It's served in a white wine reduction. 939 01:01:11,083 --> 01:01:14,916 We also have homemade cavatelli with chanterelles and fiddlehead ferns. 940 01:01:18,375 --> 01:01:19,417 What's funny? 941 01:01:20,250 --> 01:01:21,582 Oh, yeah. 942 01:01:21,583 --> 01:01:25,042 Just my son and I, we have this joke about fiddlehead ferns. 943 01:01:26,292 --> 01:01:29,500 It's like we call them fiddle dee-dee ferns. 944 01:01:34,875 --> 01:01:37,916 I guess you just had to be there because he has this two-year-old lisp. 945 01:01:37,917 --> 01:01:40,375 He can't really say the fiddle dee-dee. 946 01:01:44,958 --> 01:01:47,832 Could I have the cavatelli, but without the chanterelle? 947 01:01:47,833 --> 01:01:48,958 Yes. 948 01:01:53,167 --> 01:01:55,208 I'll have the... 949 01:01:56,042 --> 01:01:57,958 - the kale salad, please. - What? 950 01:01:58,958 --> 01:01:59,999 Kale salad. 951 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,083 What? 952 01:02:01,625 --> 01:02:03,541 Um, the kale salad. 953 01:02:03,542 --> 01:02:05,750 And another Manhattan. 954 01:02:08,500 --> 01:02:09,666 And for you? 955 01:02:09,667 --> 01:02:12,125 Mm. I'll have the lamb. 956 01:02:15,125 --> 01:02:16,167 So Naya? 957 01:02:16,708 --> 01:02:18,457 - Naya? - Hm? 958 01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:19,957 How's Liliana doing? 959 01:02:19,958 --> 01:02:21,916 - Is she six now? - Yes. 960 01:02:21,917 --> 01:02:23,874 She's in first grade at the music academy. 961 01:02:23,875 --> 01:02:28,749 And she's really into the cello, as well the violin. 962 01:02:28,750 --> 01:02:31,582 It's just amazing watching her blossom, you know? 963 01:02:31,583 --> 01:02:33,124 Wow. 964 01:02:33,125 --> 01:02:37,332 Is-is it ever hard to balance it all, 965 01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:39,166 like, motherhood and art? 966 01:02:39,167 --> 01:02:40,625 Not really. 967 01:02:41,417 --> 01:02:43,351 I mean, listen, I couldn't do it without Christie. 968 01:02:43,375 --> 01:02:45,499 Thank God for my nanny. 969 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:46,957 But... 970 01:02:46,958 --> 01:02:49,582 I guess I'm a better mom because of my work. 971 01:02:49,583 --> 01:02:50,666 Yeah. 972 01:02:50,667 --> 01:02:53,792 And I just, I haven't lost myself, you know? 973 01:02:54,417 --> 01:02:56,374 Mm-hm. 974 01:02:56,375 --> 01:02:57,458 Oh, Freida... 975 01:02:58,167 --> 01:03:00,332 application for the Founder's Grant. 976 01:03:00,333 --> 01:03:02,041 - Did you get it in? - Barely. 977 01:03:02,042 --> 01:03:04,041 - I turned it in at like 2:00 a.m. - What? 978 01:03:04,042 --> 01:03:05,249 Like a fucking idiot. 979 01:03:05,250 --> 01:03:06,333 You? 980 01:03:07,042 --> 01:03:09,874 - I did it weeks ago. - Mm. 981 01:03:09,875 --> 01:03:12,250 And now we wait. 982 01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:17,166 Well, I haven't even turned in my application. 983 01:03:17,167 --> 01:03:18,542 What am I gonna do? 984 01:03:21,250 --> 01:03:24,374 Yeah, I bet everybody's wondering where's my application. 985 01:03:24,375 --> 01:03:25,624 - Sorry. - We just got here. 986 01:03:25,625 --> 01:03:27,416 I was just asking how long does it take 987 01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:28,791 - for a table to get ready? - What are you doing? 988 01:03:28,792 --> 01:03:30,791 - Whatever we wanted. - You know what? 989 01:03:30,792 --> 01:03:32,666 - Next time you pick the restaurant. - The kale for you, ma'am. 990 01:03:32,667 --> 01:03:34,457 You do this all the time. 991 01:03:34,458 --> 01:03:36,416 - No, like, she... - It's actually more of a meditation 992 01:03:36,417 --> 01:03:39,499 - I believe from the perspective. - Let's just call a spade a spade. 993 01:03:39,500 --> 01:03:41,832 The show was the most important artistic event of our lifetime. 994 01:03:41,833 --> 01:03:44,582 - Yeah. I just don't see it that way. - Yeah, but you always disagree. 995 01:03:44,583 --> 01:03:46,332 Yeah, I think that's a little bit overrated. 996 01:03:46,333 --> 01:03:48,541 You're so hyperbolic. I mean... 997 01:03:48,542 --> 01:03:50,916 ...people was trash, and what was art? 998 01:03:50,917 --> 01:03:52,500 I thought that went great. 999 01:03:53,583 --> 01:03:55,500 I am a Zen cow. 1000 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,625 I'm a Zen cow... 1001 01:03:59,792 --> 01:04:01,708 in a soothing green... 1002 01:04:02,875 --> 01:04:03,958 pasture. 1003 01:04:09,042 --> 01:04:10,333 Can I have, um... 1004 01:04:18,708 --> 01:04:19,708 Oh... 1005 01:04:20,667 --> 01:04:21,875 This kale. 1006 01:04:24,583 --> 01:04:25,708 It's just... 1007 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:28,542 pushing it down further... 1008 01:04:29,875 --> 01:04:31,042 all of them, 1009 01:04:31,708 --> 01:04:33,624 rage and disappointment. 1010 01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:35,499 I thought that I had digested it, 1011 01:04:35,500 --> 01:04:39,167 but it is still down there just burning a hole in me. 1012 01:04:41,042 --> 01:04:43,792 And the woman that I used to be, this... 1013 01:04:44,958 --> 01:04:46,457 talented... 1014 01:04:46,458 --> 01:04:49,208 plucky young woman with big ideas, 1015 01:04:49,750 --> 01:04:51,250 she's down there also... 1016 01:04:52,708 --> 01:04:54,458 in my intestines... 1017 01:04:55,208 --> 01:04:56,750 buried in kale. 1018 01:04:57,958 --> 01:04:59,625 She's biding her time. 1019 01:05:01,458 --> 01:05:03,000 Or maybe she's dead. 1020 01:05:03,792 --> 01:05:05,750 She suffocated. 1021 01:05:11,292 --> 01:05:12,750 And here I am... 1022 01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:17,250 up here in this... 1023 01:05:18,333 --> 01:05:21,833 beautiful lighting of this beautiful fucking restaurant, 1024 01:05:23,250 --> 01:05:24,583 just this... 1025 01:05:27,375 --> 01:05:29,542 middle-aged saggy mom with... 1026 01:05:30,500 --> 01:05:33,833 nothing intelligent to add to the conversation... 1027 01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:39,833 Insignificant. 1028 01:05:46,583 --> 01:05:50,457 Have you seen Jermaine's installation at the Armature? 1029 01:05:50,458 --> 01:05:53,082 I'm dying to get to the nighttime exhibit at Art Lucerne. 1030 01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:54,916 Oh, me too. We should go together. 1031 01:05:54,917 --> 01:05:56,249 Now, that... both were incredible. 1032 01:05:56,250 --> 01:05:57,832 Yes. But you do need to... 1033 01:05:57,833 --> 01:06:00,957 Yeah, you need to trust me and knock it out there. 1034 01:06:02,958 --> 01:06:05,624 Oh, I'm sure she's able to get a lens... 1035 01:06:05,625 --> 01:06:08,291 whoever bought it for the show. 1036 01:06:08,292 --> 01:06:09,874 - The value only goes up. - Yeah, absolutely. 1037 01:06:09,875 --> 01:06:12,000 Ugh, this kale is not sitting well. 1038 01:06:15,167 --> 01:06:16,708 What the fuck? 1039 01:06:25,083 --> 01:06:26,125 Oh, my God. 1040 01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:30,833 I could crush a walnut with my vagina. 1041 01:06:31,625 --> 01:06:34,000 Oh, my... What? 1042 01:07:11,500 --> 01:07:14,125 I wanna run and never come back. 1043 01:07:14,583 --> 01:07:17,667 I wanna never brush my hair ever again. 1044 01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:20,125 I want to stink. 1045 01:07:21,667 --> 01:07:23,000 I wanna be an artist, 1046 01:07:24,250 --> 01:07:25,333 and a woman, 1047 01:07:26,250 --> 01:07:27,458 and a mother. 1048 01:07:28,542 --> 01:07:29,750 I mean a monster. 1049 01:07:30,792 --> 01:07:33,624 I want to be a monster. 1050 01:07:33,625 --> 01:07:36,041 Oh, it's disgusting. 1051 01:08:47,958 --> 01:08:49,208 Mama. 1052 01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:34,083 Baby? 1053 01:09:36,750 --> 01:09:37,833 Okay. 1054 01:09:39,167 --> 01:09:40,250 Come down. 1055 01:09:40,917 --> 01:09:41,958 You got it. 1056 01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:50,958 Baby? 1057 01:09:52,083 --> 01:09:54,082 Have you seen a little boy? 1058 01:09:54,083 --> 01:09:55,374 - He's blonde. - No. 1059 01:09:55,375 --> 01:09:56,458 Okay. 1060 01:09:57,292 --> 01:09:58,417 Baby? 1061 01:09:59,458 --> 01:10:00,624 Baby? 1062 01:10:06,083 --> 01:10:07,249 - Here you are. - Hi. 1063 01:10:07,250 --> 01:10:08,624 Hey. Hey. 1064 01:10:08,625 --> 01:10:09,791 There you are. 1065 01:10:09,792 --> 01:10:11,749 You can't hide from mommy like that. 1066 01:10:11,750 --> 01:10:13,749 You can't hide from me like that. 1067 01:10:13,750 --> 01:10:15,624 I was counting. 1068 01:10:15,625 --> 01:10:18,125 You were counting. I know. I know. 1069 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:22,332 The cat died and you didn't even call me. 1070 01:10:22,333 --> 01:10:23,957 It was a pretty traumatic morning. 1071 01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:27,957 There was blood on the steps, and-and we had to bury him. 1072 01:10:27,958 --> 01:10:30,042 But... but I could've helped. 1073 01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:35,958 Well, I guess I've gotten pretty good at doing things by myself. 1074 01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:38,958 Oh. 1075 01:10:39,792 --> 01:10:40,958 Mm. 1076 01:10:41,917 --> 01:10:44,375 But it has made some things pretty clear though. 1077 01:10:44,917 --> 01:10:45,958 Like what? 1078 01:10:48,333 --> 01:10:49,958 I'm not doing okay. 1079 01:10:53,167 --> 01:10:56,499 You were so quick to support me 1080 01:10:56,500 --> 01:10:59,249 when I said that I wanted to give up being an artist. 1081 01:10:59,250 --> 01:11:00,707 That's what you said you wanted. 1082 01:11:00,708 --> 01:11:03,916 No, you were so quick, like there's no protestations from you. 1083 01:11:03,917 --> 01:11:07,374 And it just would've been nice to have a little encouragement from you, 1084 01:11:07,375 --> 01:11:09,291 say that I'm good at what I do 1085 01:11:09,292 --> 01:11:11,541 and that it would be a shame to give it up. 1086 01:11:11,542 --> 01:11:14,957 Tell me that I'll return to it someday. But you just smile. 1087 01:11:14,958 --> 01:11:16,249 No, no, I didn't. 1088 01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:20,916 Because somewhere you knew that you were getting exactly what you've always wanted, 1089 01:11:20,917 --> 01:11:22,832 which is for me to be a stay-at-home mom just like... 1090 01:11:22,833 --> 01:11:26,749 - Whoa, wait a minute. - ...just like your mom and her mother. 1091 01:11:26,750 --> 01:11:29,291 It's a sweet deal for you. You have your job and I have mine. 1092 01:11:29,292 --> 01:11:32,332 Only my job has no pay, and no vacation days, 1093 01:11:32,333 --> 01:11:35,457 and no appreciation, and includes washing your fucking underwear. 1094 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:37,999 I never said that, okay? This feels a little bit like a trap. 1095 01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:40,207 Oh, you feel trapped? 1096 01:11:40,208 --> 01:11:43,457 Do you have any fucking clue how trapped I feel? 1097 01:11:43,458 --> 01:11:46,124 I have found myself in a fucking 1950s marriage 1098 01:11:46,125 --> 01:11:48,832 where all I do is take care of our son, 1099 01:11:48,833 --> 01:11:51,083 and you, and the fucking cat. 1100 01:11:53,167 --> 01:11:55,499 It was your idea to quit your job. 1101 01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:58,041 - I didn't suggest that. - No, I agreed to it, 1102 01:11:58,042 --> 01:12:00,957 but I had no fucking clue what I was agreeing to. 1103 01:12:00,958 --> 01:12:04,082 I didn't realize that I would feel like a single parent who has zero help, 1104 01:12:04,083 --> 01:12:07,208 who has to give up her dreams to take care of everyone. 1105 01:12:08,500 --> 01:12:10,124 I don't know what to say. 1106 01:12:10,125 --> 01:12:12,500 I-I... I didn't know you felt this way. 1107 01:12:29,167 --> 01:12:31,292 Do you think that I want it like this? 1108 01:12:33,458 --> 01:12:35,917 I mean, do you think that I want to be married to my mother? 1109 01:12:38,042 --> 01:12:41,625 I don't wanna feel your resentment the moment I walk into my house. 1110 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,125 If you were so fucking unhappy, 1111 01:12:45,917 --> 01:12:47,417 why didn't you tell me? 1112 01:12:48,333 --> 01:12:50,750 Do you expect for me to read your mind? 1113 01:12:51,583 --> 01:12:54,124 Look, if you tell me that everything's fine, 1114 01:12:54,125 --> 01:12:56,707 then I think that everything is fine. 1115 01:12:56,708 --> 01:12:59,416 If you tell me that you wanna quit your job 1116 01:12:59,417 --> 01:13:01,957 and stop being an artist and stay at home with our son, 1117 01:13:01,958 --> 01:13:03,707 and I say, "Okay." 1118 01:13:03,708 --> 01:13:05,791 I think I'm supporting you. 1119 01:13:05,792 --> 01:13:08,541 That is just some passive-aggressive bullshit. 1120 01:13:08,542 --> 01:13:10,999 - No. Okay. But... - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1121 01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,166 You're not the person that I married either. 1122 01:13:13,167 --> 01:13:17,124 The person I married let things go that weren't important. 1123 01:13:17,125 --> 01:13:18,457 She was tough as shit. 1124 01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:21,291 She was... she was weird and excited about things 1125 01:13:21,292 --> 01:13:23,124 in the world like reading books. 1126 01:13:23,125 --> 01:13:25,166 Oh, my fucking God, I cannot believe you're saying this to me! 1127 01:13:25,167 --> 01:13:28,624 No, it's fucking disappointing. It's disappointing for me, too. 1128 01:13:28,625 --> 01:13:31,499 I mean, I don't know how we got here. I really don't know how we got here. 1129 01:13:31,500 --> 01:13:34,499 You're too busy worried about fucking Book Babies 1130 01:13:34,500 --> 01:13:39,332 to ask about my day at work or-or-or keep up on current events. 1131 01:13:39,333 --> 01:13:42,666 I mean, what happened to the girl that I married, huh? 1132 01:13:42,667 --> 01:13:45,416 What happened to the... to the girl that inspired me 1133 01:13:45,417 --> 01:13:49,499 and made me challenge this world in new and interesting ways, huh? 1134 01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:51,583 What happened to my wife? 1135 01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:56,750 She died in childbirth. 1136 01:14:25,917 --> 01:14:27,292 Mama. 1137 01:14:45,125 --> 01:14:46,625 I think that... 1138 01:14:47,375 --> 01:14:49,667 we need a separation. 1139 01:14:58,500 --> 01:15:00,500 I'm just so confused. 1140 01:15:02,750 --> 01:15:08,125 This agreement that we made isn't working for me anymore. 1141 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:12,125 I just... I need space. I'm... 1142 01:15:15,042 --> 01:15:16,625 I don't know how'd I... 1143 01:15:19,542 --> 01:15:20,999 I don't... 1144 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,792 I don't know how I feel or what I need, but... 1145 01:15:24,333 --> 01:15:26,999 I know I need... I need to dig around in the dark 1146 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,000 and just find myself again. 1147 01:15:34,292 --> 01:15:37,208 Do you... do you regret having a kid? 1148 01:15:42,250 --> 01:15:43,250 No... 1149 01:15:44,542 --> 01:15:45,792 I don't. 1150 01:15:50,917 --> 01:15:53,666 But if I could go back in time, I would sit us down 1151 01:15:53,667 --> 01:15:56,875 and figure out a more equitable way to do this parenting thing. 1152 01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:00,583 I'd have been open to that. 1153 01:16:06,125 --> 01:16:07,333 I'm sorry. 1154 01:16:10,500 --> 01:16:11,958 Me, too. 1155 01:16:25,417 --> 01:16:26,708 Daddy? 1156 01:16:29,708 --> 01:16:31,582 What's wrong, sweetie? 1157 01:16:31,583 --> 01:16:33,374 Why don't we play with your train? 1158 01:16:33,375 --> 01:16:35,332 I want Daddy. 1159 01:16:35,333 --> 01:16:37,499 Oh, choo-choo. 1160 01:16:37,500 --> 01:16:39,041 Where's the tunnel? 1161 01:16:39,042 --> 01:16:41,624 Did you kick that train? 1162 01:16:41,625 --> 01:16:42,832 What... 1163 01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:45,208 Are you mad at the train? 1164 01:16:47,583 --> 01:16:50,166 What are you doing? 1165 01:16:50,167 --> 01:16:52,208 Come here, sweetheart. I got you. 1166 01:16:52,708 --> 01:16:53,792 Come here. 1167 01:16:54,292 --> 01:16:55,541 Come here. 1168 01:16:55,542 --> 01:16:57,417 Yeah, it's okay. 1169 01:16:57,875 --> 01:16:58,875 Yeah. 1170 01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:01,333 I love you. 1171 01:17:12,542 --> 01:17:14,042 I don't want this anymore. 1172 01:17:14,958 --> 01:17:18,124 Oh, um, I... This isn't one of ours. 1173 01:17:18,125 --> 01:17:19,416 I don't think. 1174 01:17:19,417 --> 01:17:20,500 What? 1175 01:17:21,958 --> 01:17:23,291 You gave that to me. 1176 01:17:23,292 --> 01:17:25,749 Uh, well, I don't think so. 1177 01:17:25,750 --> 01:17:27,791 Look, there's no catalog card. 1178 01:17:27,792 --> 01:17:32,708 I don't know where this book came from, but, um, we can't... we can't take it. 1179 01:17:35,875 --> 01:17:38,916 I remember what it was like when my kids were little. 1180 01:17:38,917 --> 01:17:42,000 I had a hard time keeping things straight also. 1181 01:17:42,750 --> 01:17:44,874 I mean, you don't sleep for years, right? 1182 01:17:44,875 --> 01:17:46,624 And you're holding them with the stomachaches, 1183 01:17:46,625 --> 01:17:48,832 and the toothaches, and the bad dreams. 1184 01:17:48,833 --> 01:17:52,125 It's enough for anybody to lose their bearings. 1185 01:17:54,167 --> 01:17:56,625 You just didn't seem like a mother to me. 1186 01:17:57,333 --> 01:17:58,792 You didn't recognize it? 1187 01:18:00,667 --> 01:18:05,125 You look in the eyes of other women and you see a fire flickering there. 1188 01:18:06,792 --> 01:18:08,250 Oh, my God. 1189 01:18:08,750 --> 01:18:11,499 Yeah, the pain, the sacrifice, 1190 01:18:11,500 --> 01:18:15,124 that shared bond of all you've given up 1191 01:18:15,125 --> 01:18:17,083 for the continuation of the species. 1192 01:18:19,375 --> 01:18:22,541 It's just so much more encompassing than I thought it would be. 1193 01:18:22,542 --> 01:18:24,917 Yeah, yeah, it changes you... 1194 01:18:26,292 --> 01:18:28,125 and connects you to some... 1195 01:18:29,208 --> 01:18:30,875 primal urges. 1196 01:18:34,458 --> 01:18:35,542 Thanks. 1197 01:18:37,417 --> 01:18:39,167 What happened with your husband? 1198 01:18:43,500 --> 01:18:46,166 We were just so stuck in this horrible dynamic 1199 01:18:46,167 --> 01:18:49,457 where I was the stay-at-home mom, 1200 01:18:49,458 --> 01:18:53,916 which maybe I'm not cutout for, and he was the worker who got to go out 1201 01:18:53,917 --> 01:18:57,958 and engage in the world, and I just had to break out of it. 1202 01:18:58,542 --> 01:19:00,041 And I killed the cat this week. 1203 01:19:00,042 --> 01:19:03,958 So it just made me realize that maybe I'm not doing great... 1204 01:19:05,083 --> 01:19:06,292 emotionally. 1205 01:19:19,625 --> 01:19:21,375 I let the fish die. 1206 01:19:23,625 --> 01:19:24,833 Benign neglect. 1207 01:19:26,542 --> 01:19:29,000 I didn't wanna clean the fucking bowl. 1208 01:19:32,208 --> 01:19:35,083 I accidentally let Percy fly away. 1209 01:19:35,583 --> 01:19:37,957 - Oh. - I know, I know, I know. 1210 01:19:39,083 --> 01:19:40,291 Wait, who's Percy? 1211 01:19:40,292 --> 01:19:42,041 He's a parakeet. 1212 01:19:42,042 --> 01:19:43,957 Great news. This is actually great news. 1213 01:19:43,958 --> 01:19:45,208 Okay. 1214 01:19:48,292 --> 01:19:49,957 Okay, I probably over-packed, 1215 01:19:49,958 --> 01:19:51,499 but you should have everything you need, okay? 1216 01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:52,624 It's in the bag. 1217 01:19:52,625 --> 01:19:53,832 - Have fun, okay? - Okay. 1218 01:19:53,833 --> 01:19:54,958 I'll miss you. 1219 01:19:59,083 --> 01:20:00,542 I'll call you if I need something. 1220 01:20:02,708 --> 01:20:04,583 Bye. 1221 01:20:06,292 --> 01:20:07,542 Bye. 1222 01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:09,458 Bye. 1223 01:21:24,417 --> 01:21:25,542 All right, buddy. 1224 01:21:25,958 --> 01:21:27,166 All right. 1225 01:21:27,167 --> 01:21:31,624 This is Dad's famous pasta with his famous sauce, all right? 1226 01:21:31,625 --> 01:21:33,500 I'll get that, I'll get your water... 1227 01:21:35,542 --> 01:21:37,625 and some Parmesan cheese. 1228 01:21:41,083 --> 01:21:42,875 Whoa, whoa! Oh! 1229 01:21:43,667 --> 01:21:44,666 Oh, buddy. 1230 01:21:44,667 --> 01:21:45,999 Are you okay? What... 1231 01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:48,207 - It's on my arm. - Uh-huh. 1232 01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:50,707 - What happened? - It's on my arm, Dad. 1233 01:21:50,708 --> 01:21:53,125 What? Oh, it's on your arm. Okay. Let me get that off. 1234 01:22:00,042 --> 01:22:01,582 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 1235 01:22:01,583 --> 01:22:02,957 What happened? 1236 01:22:02,958 --> 01:22:05,332 It fell and then I broke it. 1237 01:22:05,333 --> 01:22:07,874 Oh, it fell, but you... but you broke it? 1238 01:22:07,875 --> 01:22:09,958 That doesn't make a lot of sense. 1239 01:22:14,250 --> 01:22:17,042 Oh, the thing, let me just get this thing right. 1240 01:22:17,875 --> 01:22:18,875 I got it. 1241 01:22:19,792 --> 01:22:21,874 All right. You wanna go on the couch? 1242 01:22:21,875 --> 01:22:23,082 Can you sit right there? 1243 01:22:25,958 --> 01:22:28,791 You know, Dad's killing it. 1244 01:22:28,792 --> 01:22:30,374 He's killing it, isn't he? 1245 01:22:30,375 --> 01:22:33,500 And there's two under the couch. 1246 01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:37,583 Oh, yeah. 1247 01:22:46,458 --> 01:22:47,916 Right there. 1248 01:22:47,917 --> 01:22:49,000 Yeah. 1249 01:22:49,917 --> 01:22:50,999 Aww. 1250 01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,707 There's my baby! 1251 01:22:52,708 --> 01:22:55,082 - Come here, hi. - Like this. 1252 01:22:55,083 --> 01:22:56,166 - Like that? - Yes. 1253 01:22:56,167 --> 01:22:58,374 Oh, it's so good to see you. 1254 01:22:58,375 --> 01:22:59,707 I'm tired. 1255 01:22:59,708 --> 01:23:02,707 Oh. I know. 1256 01:23:02,708 --> 01:23:04,082 How'd it go? 1257 01:23:04,083 --> 01:23:06,541 Uh... it was good. 1258 01:23:06,542 --> 01:23:09,124 - Yeah? - It went really good, right, little dude? 1259 01:23:09,125 --> 01:23:10,208 Right? 1260 01:23:11,458 --> 01:23:13,624 - It was hard. - It was hard. 1261 01:23:13,625 --> 01:23:16,292 It was really hard, I'm not gonna lie. 1262 01:23:17,500 --> 01:23:18,999 Yeah. 1263 01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,417 Uh, how was your time alone? 1264 01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:22,958 Um... 1265 01:23:24,208 --> 01:23:28,875 - It was really wonderful actually. - Oh. 1266 01:23:30,583 --> 01:23:31,791 Yeah. 1267 01:23:31,792 --> 01:23:35,499 Um, I've got this new idea for a project. 1268 01:23:35,500 --> 01:23:37,916 Yeah, it's cool. I'm really... I'm really focused right now. 1269 01:23:37,917 --> 01:23:39,457 It's amazing how efficient I can be 1270 01:23:39,458 --> 01:23:42,207 when I don't have any time, you know. 1271 01:23:42,208 --> 01:23:43,458 Thanks. 1272 01:23:44,375 --> 01:23:45,500 Yeah. 1273 01:23:48,250 --> 01:23:49,624 - Should I cut these? - Yeah. 1274 01:23:49,625 --> 01:23:50,791 - You wanna help? - No. 1275 01:23:50,792 --> 01:23:54,124 - No? Okay. - Don't cut this. 1276 01:23:54,125 --> 01:23:58,249 Oh, because it has syrup on it. 1277 01:23:58,250 --> 01:24:00,874 Oh, you want that? Yeah, get that in there. 1278 01:24:00,875 --> 01:24:02,707 Can you say bye-bye to Daddy? 1279 01:24:02,708 --> 01:24:05,082 - Bye-bye, Daddy. - Bye-bye, buddy. 1280 01:24:05,083 --> 01:24:06,957 - I'll see you soon. - Bye. 1281 01:24:06,958 --> 01:24:08,166 Bye, Mama. 1282 01:24:08,167 --> 01:24:09,667 Mama's not leaving. 1283 01:24:11,583 --> 01:24:16,249 Um, so, I will drop him, uh, on Saturday morning? 1284 01:24:16,250 --> 01:24:17,457 Oh, yeah, sure. 1285 01:24:17,458 --> 01:24:21,957 He, uh... he's-he's still not used to me. 1286 01:24:21,958 --> 01:24:24,666 I kind of felt like he thought he'd been kidnapped. 1287 01:24:25,792 --> 01:24:26,917 That'll change. 1288 01:24:28,125 --> 01:24:32,874 I don't know. He was... he was kind of like, "Who's this weird man 1289 01:24:32,875 --> 01:24:37,124 living at this sad apartment complex with all these other sad men?" 1290 01:24:37,125 --> 01:24:39,707 I swear, the whole place is newly divorced dads. 1291 01:24:39,708 --> 01:24:44,250 It was all these kids sitting around the pool confused. 1292 01:24:44,917 --> 01:24:47,250 Not a mom in sight. 1293 01:24:48,208 --> 01:24:50,374 All I can think of is all of these sunburned kids 1294 01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:52,792 'cause nobody remembered to bring sunscreen. 1295 01:24:53,500 --> 01:24:55,500 Shit, I didn't even think about sunscreen. 1296 01:24:57,917 --> 01:25:01,208 Uh, um, so I'll see you on Saturday. 1297 01:25:01,792 --> 01:25:03,042 Yup. 1298 01:25:06,167 --> 01:25:10,207 * How many eggs do you want to get? * 1299 01:25:10,208 --> 01:25:12,791 I missed you so much! 1300 01:25:12,792 --> 01:25:14,416 Mama! 1301 01:25:14,417 --> 01:25:15,958 Look at him chase the ball. 1302 01:25:16,667 --> 01:25:18,292 Isn't that so silly? 1303 01:25:19,292 --> 01:25:20,707 Mama. 1304 01:25:20,708 --> 01:25:23,333 Can you hold... Oh... That's two. 1305 01:25:23,875 --> 01:25:25,457 Can I touch your dog? 1306 01:25:25,458 --> 01:25:27,249 - Hi. - Say hi. 1307 01:25:27,250 --> 01:25:29,207 Which one should we go see? The little guy? 1308 01:25:29,208 --> 01:25:31,957 Come on, let's go. Hi. 1309 01:25:31,958 --> 01:25:33,082 Thank you. 1310 01:25:33,083 --> 01:25:35,582 Hi, oh, hello! 1311 01:25:35,583 --> 01:25:37,957 Hi! Is he yours? 1312 01:25:37,958 --> 01:25:39,374 We just love dogs, so... 1313 01:25:50,375 --> 01:25:51,957 Are you now... 1314 01:25:55,208 --> 01:25:56,707 I'm a dog. 1315 01:25:56,708 --> 01:25:58,291 No, you're not a dog. 1316 01:25:58,292 --> 01:26:00,457 What's this? 1317 01:26:00,458 --> 01:26:02,124 Do you see it? 1318 01:26:02,125 --> 01:26:03,749 Do you see all the colors? 1319 01:26:03,750 --> 01:26:08,166 Red, yellow, orange, green. 1320 01:26:08,167 --> 01:26:10,207 - Can you count? - One, two, 1321 01:26:10,208 --> 01:26:14,166 - three, four... - Two, three, four, five! 1322 01:26:14,167 --> 01:26:16,124 There's five people on that train? 1323 01:26:16,125 --> 01:26:17,958 - Yes. - That's so many. 1324 01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:21,041 - Can I tell you something? - Yeah. 1325 01:26:21,042 --> 01:26:23,833 I love being your mom. 1326 01:26:24,542 --> 01:26:26,791 Oh, I love you. I love the choo-choos. 1327 01:26:26,792 --> 01:26:29,083 - I love... - I love the... all those choo-choos. 1328 01:26:30,125 --> 01:26:31,500 Yeah. 1329 01:26:32,792 --> 01:26:33,916 Mama? 1330 01:26:33,917 --> 01:26:36,208 I didn't want you to be scared. 1331 01:26:37,417 --> 01:26:39,458 I wanted you to know I came home. 1332 01:26:41,375 --> 01:26:42,708 Where did you go? 1333 01:26:45,167 --> 01:26:48,332 I needed some space, 1334 01:26:48,333 --> 01:26:52,958 so I went walking in the woods. 1335 01:26:54,250 --> 01:26:56,292 I thought you weren't gonna come back. 1336 01:26:58,125 --> 01:27:00,208 I will always come back. 1337 01:27:03,292 --> 01:27:07,292 I am your mama forever, 1338 01:27:08,333 --> 01:27:11,000 and I will always come back. 1339 01:27:37,708 --> 01:27:39,957 I wanna go back and grab you by the shoulders 1340 01:27:39,958 --> 01:27:41,291 and scream at you. 1341 01:27:41,292 --> 01:27:42,999 Insist on your joy. 1342 01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,750 Time is short. 1343 01:27:47,083 --> 01:27:48,833 Don't just do it for you. 1344 01:27:50,375 --> 01:27:51,667 Do it for me, too. 1345 01:28:04,458 --> 01:28:08,042 I always thought motherhood was sort of a weak state of being, 1346 01:28:09,333 --> 01:28:14,457 but motherhood is a far more primal, active thing than that. 1347 01:28:14,458 --> 01:28:19,541 It is probably the most violent experience a human can have aside from death itself. 1348 01:28:19,542 --> 01:28:20,957 Thanks. 1349 01:28:20,958 --> 01:28:25,207 A child's first act is violence against the woman who created it. 1350 01:28:25,208 --> 01:28:28,249 Yet still, the mother loves the child 1351 01:28:28,250 --> 01:28:31,042 with the most powerful love known in the universe. 1352 01:28:32,625 --> 01:28:34,541 This thing rips its way out of us. 1353 01:28:34,542 --> 01:28:36,499 Literally tears us in two 1354 01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:39,667 in a wash of blood, and shit, and piss, 1355 01:28:40,625 --> 01:28:43,541 or it is cut from us with a knife. 1356 01:28:43,542 --> 01:28:47,332 Our organs taken out only to be put back in and sewn up. 1357 01:28:47,333 --> 01:28:52,374 So, no, motherhood is not sunshine and baby powder, 1358 01:28:52,375 --> 01:28:55,125 little pastel mints and lacy frocks. 1359 01:28:56,708 --> 01:28:58,333 Motherhood is fucking brutal. 1360 01:29:41,000 --> 01:29:44,167 I know, I know, I just like... I... 1361 01:29:48,208 --> 01:29:49,708 You are. 1362 01:29:51,208 --> 01:29:53,167 And the dead bird wasn't there. 1363 01:30:01,708 --> 01:30:03,833 - Thank you. - Thanks so much. 1364 01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:08,999 - Hi. - Oh, my gosh! 1365 01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:10,416 Thank you for coming! 1366 01:30:10,417 --> 01:30:12,875 - Thank you, thank you. - Oh, my gosh. 1367 01:30:13,375 --> 01:30:15,457 I am just so impressed by you. 1368 01:30:15,458 --> 01:30:19,499 - I feel so honored to be a part of this. - Thank you. Thank you, guys. 1369 01:30:19,500 --> 01:30:21,999 - Thank you. - Okay. 1370 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:23,291 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 1371 01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:25,832 - Hi, thank you for coming. - My gosh. 1372 01:30:25,833 --> 01:30:28,166 This is so fucking cool, 1373 01:30:28,167 --> 01:30:29,916 but especially for the suburbs. 1374 01:30:29,917 --> 01:30:31,707 I'm so into this show. 1375 01:30:31,708 --> 01:30:34,249 It's very provocative. Very you. 1376 01:30:34,250 --> 01:30:35,332 Thank you. 1377 01:30:35,333 --> 01:30:37,666 It reminds me a little bit of Charlotte Ghibli's work 1378 01:30:37,667 --> 01:30:39,666 from last year, but I mean that in a good way. 1379 01:30:39,667 --> 01:30:43,792 It's not derivative, like it's in conversation. You know? 1380 01:30:45,583 --> 01:30:46,583 Excuse me. 1381 01:30:50,333 --> 01:30:52,792 - Oh. - Oh, you came! 1382 01:30:55,292 --> 01:30:56,583 You did it. 1383 01:30:57,500 --> 01:30:59,917 They called and you answered. 1384 01:31:13,917 --> 01:31:15,333 Did you see Naya? 1385 01:31:17,208 --> 01:31:20,458 I can't believe we got her out of the city. 1386 01:31:26,792 --> 01:31:27,917 You okay? 1387 01:31:31,167 --> 01:31:32,250 Not really. 1388 01:31:36,375 --> 01:31:37,375 I didn't get it. 1389 01:31:39,833 --> 01:31:41,374 Get it? Get what? 1390 01:31:41,375 --> 01:31:42,792 I didn't see it. 1391 01:31:43,375 --> 01:31:47,583 I mean, I didn't... I didn't see all that you were giving up by being at home. 1392 01:31:49,917 --> 01:31:51,833 Oh, right. 1393 01:31:53,125 --> 01:31:55,125 I mean, look at what you fucking did. 1394 01:31:56,458 --> 01:32:00,082 It's like I feel like I've been led into this whole universe 1395 01:32:00,083 --> 01:32:02,124 that I've been totally blind to, 1396 01:32:02,125 --> 01:32:06,042 just all the things that you weren't able to say. 1397 01:32:07,667 --> 01:32:08,667 Yeah. 1398 01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:12,333 I'm just in awe. 1399 01:32:13,750 --> 01:32:15,750 I'm in fucking awe of you. 1400 01:32:17,417 --> 01:32:20,625 And I should have told you to not give this up. 1401 01:32:21,292 --> 01:32:22,583 I fucked up. 1402 01:32:23,833 --> 01:32:27,250 I fucked up, and I'm sorry. 1403 01:32:42,708 --> 01:32:44,083 You're so weird and... 1404 01:32:46,542 --> 01:32:47,750 and I love you. 1405 01:32:50,375 --> 01:32:51,583 I love you. 1406 01:33:05,792 --> 01:33:06,917 Okay. 1407 01:33:07,542 --> 01:33:09,083 I gotta go relieve the sitter. 1408 01:33:11,708 --> 01:33:12,832 I'll come with you. 1409 01:33:12,833 --> 01:33:15,207 No, no, please. 1410 01:33:15,208 --> 01:33:17,999 You should go meet up with all the moms from Book Babies. 1411 01:33:18,000 --> 01:33:19,916 They're at the bar across the street. 1412 01:33:19,917 --> 01:33:21,208 You sure? 1413 01:33:22,250 --> 01:33:24,292 Yeah, it's your night. 1414 01:33:31,583 --> 01:33:33,417 What sound's a bear make? 1415 01:33:37,167 --> 01:33:38,832 There are times when I look at my son, 1416 01:33:38,833 --> 01:33:41,667 and I cannot tell where he begins and I end. 1417 01:33:42,333 --> 01:33:45,000 He is that much a part of me. 1418 01:33:45,833 --> 01:33:47,500 We are part of one another. 1419 01:33:48,083 --> 01:33:51,916 You guys, you-you be a bear. 1420 01:33:51,917 --> 01:33:53,541 You be a bear. I'll be a bear. 1421 01:33:53,542 --> 01:33:55,749 All right, who goes first? 1422 01:33:55,750 --> 01:33:57,166 You. 1423 01:34:06,250 --> 01:34:08,792 This must be what it is to be an animal. 1424 01:34:11,500 --> 01:34:14,999 Beneath the moon, we pile inside our warm cave, 1425 01:34:15,000 --> 01:34:18,125 becoming one creature to save our warmth. 1426 01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:20,999 You go to sleep? 1427 01:34:21,000 --> 01:34:24,750 This is how it's always been and how it will continue to be. 1428 01:34:27,583 --> 01:34:30,458 Wanted to go back to sleep. 1429 01:34:44,333 --> 01:34:45,875 Sleepy time. 1430 01:34:59,583 --> 01:35:01,333 Okay. Okay. All right. 1431 01:35:06,542 --> 01:35:08,166 - I can't. - Listen to me. 1432 01:35:08,167 --> 01:35:09,332 - Yeah. - You can do this. 1433 01:35:09,333 --> 01:35:10,499 Your mother did this. 1434 01:35:10,500 --> 01:35:12,166 Her mother did this. 1435 01:35:12,167 --> 01:35:14,416 So it is time for you to dig deep. 1436 01:35:14,417 --> 01:35:15,958 Find the strength. 1437 01:35:16,792 --> 01:35:19,249 Because it's time to meet your daughter. 1438 01:35:19,250 --> 01:35:20,375 Now! 1439 01:35:22,167 --> 01:35:23,624 Come on. 1440 01:35:23,625 --> 01:35:25,124 I got it. 100836