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1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:02,569
[Pal]
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,472
TONY:
Yes, Sir.
3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,408
Right, sir. Well, I’ve got that
taken care of, sir.
4
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,11
Yeah, well, uh, Major Healey
ought to be here any minute.
5
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,113
He called before he left.
6
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:14,515
Huh?
7
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,116
Oh, yeah.
Well, that’s the--
8
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,784
[YELLS]
9
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,387
Uh, that’s the, uh,
vacuum cleaner, sir.
10
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:23,323
Yes, uh, my housekeeper’s just
kind of straightening things up.
11
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,958
Housekeeper?
12
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,760
Uh, major,
| thought you realized
13
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,228
that for the duration
of this test
14
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,531
you and Major Healey
are to have no outside help.
15
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,466
Well, the idea is
to see whether you two
16
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,34
are compatible as
a team together
17
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,470
in close quarters,
completely on your own.
18
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,38
Amanda, please.
19
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,641
Yeah, well, she’s leaving, sir,
just as soon as she finishes.
20
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,109
Well, I’ve given her
the week off.
21
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,243
All right, major.
22
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:44,945
Just remember:
whether you and Healey
23
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:46,213
ever get to the moon together
24
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,182
depends in part on how
you get along this week.
25
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,350
Uh, good luck.
26
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,452
Right, sir.
Don’t worry about a thing.
27
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:55,355
Amanda, would you
mind telling me
28
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,191
why you find it necessary
to clean over here
29
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,227
when I'm in the middle
of an important phone call?
30
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:03,964
Because, darling,
we don't have a housekeeper.
31
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,202
Oh, but, master, you have never
had a roommate before.
32
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,371
You are used to doing things
your own way.
33
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,240
And so is Major Healey.
Yeah.
34
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:14,708
You will quarrel.
You will fight.
35
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,677
Now, don’t be ridiculous.
A terrible fight.
36
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:19,680
If two grown men can't live ina
house together alone for a we--
37
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,148
Look, I’ve got everything
set up.
38
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,816
I've got a rollaway
in the bedroom,
39
00:01:23,16 --> 00:01:24,918
I’ve emptied two drawers
and half a closet
40
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:26,420
and I've--
I've typed up a schedule
41
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,422
of cooking assignments
and household chores.
42
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,924
The whole thing
is order and discipline, see?
43
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,593
It will never work
without me.
44
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,262
It would be so much easier
if you would let me do it.
45
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,64
Jeannie,
there’s nothing to be done.
46
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,365
Everything's fine.
47
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,301
Now you go visit your relatives,
and have a good time.
48
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,636
ll miss ya.
49
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,571
Yes, master,
you will.
50
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,808
[Pal]
51
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,15
[Pal]
52
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,764
[Pal]
53
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:48,702
[LAUGHING]
Hey, Roge.
54
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,03
Good morning,
roommate.
55
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:51,872
Boy, is this going to be
an easy assignment.
56
00:02:52,72 --> 00:02:53,40
Yeah,
piece of cake.
57
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,374
Let me get you moved in.
Yeah.
58
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,642
Okay, kids.
59
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,743
Bring it in.
60
00:02:58,78 --> 00:02:58,879
Hi.
61
00:02:59,79 --> 00:03:00,981
[Pal]
62
00:03:02,49 --> 00:03:03,884
How do you like
my moving ladies?
63
00:03:04,84 --> 00:03:06,486
Roger, you're moving in
for a week, not a year.
64
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,388
| Know. That's why | decided
to travel light.
65
00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:10,123
Oh! Be careful of
my jigsaw puzzle
66
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,591
of the Battle of
Gettysburg.
67
00:03:14,27 --> 00:03:14,928
Ah!
68
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,230
Nice kids.
69
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,900
And a lot cheaper
than a moving company.
70
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,768
TONY:
Roger, look,
what is all this stuff?
71
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,204
Uh, uh, uh, tennis racquets
and ski poles,
72
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,606
footballs, puzzles,
all kinds of--
73
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,175
What did you bring
all this junk for?
74
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,676
Well, | thought | might
get bored.
75
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,378
Bored?
76
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,513
Look, we’re not rooming together
for a whole week
77
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,781
to keep you entertained.
78
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,484
This is a test-- And a very
important test, | might add.
79
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:38,685
--to see if we can
get along.
80
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,920
| Know, Tony, ahem,
81
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,655
and right now
you're flunking it.
82
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,157
I’m flunking it?
And what about you?
83
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:45,258
Look at all this...
84
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,564
Yeah, Roge,
you're right.
85
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,233
If people are gonna live
together, they gotta compromise.
86
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,435
They gotta
make allowances, right?
87
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,804
Why don't you, uh, well, move
all this stuff
88
00:03:58,04 --> 00:04:00,407
into the other room, and we'll
just forget about it, huh?
89
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,75
Hey, where’s my
Pickett’s beard?
90
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:03,543
What?
91
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,612
Pickett’s beard,
it’s part of my jigsaw puzzle.
92
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,914
It was shaped like a horseshoe.
It goes right here.
93
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,517
Oh! Wait, wait.
What are you gonna do?
94
00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:12,719
You can do the Battle of
Gettysburg at another time.
95
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,221
Right now
I’m gonna get organized.
96
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,89
| worked for two weeks on that,
now hold it--
97
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,457
Stop! Whoo!
98
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,559
[Pal]
99
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,828
Roger.
100
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,131
Is this yours?
101
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:27,901
You--
You broke my puzzle.
102
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,539
Monday night:
Tony does dishes, Roger cooks.
103
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:33,940
Tuesday night:
Tony cleans up.
104
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,509
Why do we have to have
a schedule?
105
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,310
Why--? Why can’t we
just play it by ear?
106
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,979
Roger, | had a roommate
in college,
107
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,13
and we found out that
108
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,681
everything worked out
a lot better
109
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,151
when we had a specific schedule
of assignments.
110
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,720
Okay. You’re doing the cooking,
’ll-- l'll do the dishes.
111
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,989
That's right. And, uh,
tomorrow, you do the cooking
112
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,157
and | do the dishes, right?
113
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,324
Mm-hm.
114
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,560
| got it all down here
on black and white, see?
115
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,362
So that way,
there'll be no arguments.
116
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:56,997
What are you making,
anyway?
117
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,633
Well, it’s, uh, kind of
a specialty of mine. I...
118
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:00,667
hope you like it.
119
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,02
Oh, I’m not
a fussy eater.
120
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,371
| mean, there’s only one thing
| can’t stand.
121
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:05,472
And it’s...
122
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:11,444
tuna casserole.
123
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,246
That's
the one thing l...
124
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,651
[Pal]
125
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:18,752
Mm-mm.
126
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,956
[CHEWING NOISILY]
127
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,360
[CHEWING NOISILY]
128
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,468
[HUMMING A TUNE]
129
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,903
Say, Roge.
Yeah.
130
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,306
Why--? Why don’t you go in the
kitchen and do the dishes?
131
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,540
I’m sorry.
What did you say?
132
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,676
Why don’t you go in the kitchen
and do the dishes?
133
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,44
You see,
it’s, uh, your turn.
134
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,613
Fine. You make a lousy casserole
| can't even eat,
135
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,114
and | gotta
clean it up.
136
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,351
Well, a schedule’s
a schedule, you know.
137
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,220
All right, I'll go
and clean up the kitchen,
138
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,621
but you've gotta
get lost later.
139
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,122
Get lost?
140
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:58,525
I’ve got a girl coming later
and we'd like to be alone.
141
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,293
Well, Roger,
I’ve got a lot of work--
142
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:01,962
Hey,
it’s my house.
143
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,364
And this is the porch light
schedule right here.
144
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:05,866
Porch light schedule?
Mm-hm.
145
00:06:06,66 --> 00:06:07,400
When the light is on,
you stay away,
146
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,502
and when the light is off,
well, you can come in.
147
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,571
It's a little system that
college roommate and |
148
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,139
had worked out.
Mm-hm.
149
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,141
Monday night, Roger.
Tuesday night, Tony.
150
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,210
| don’t have anybody coming
in on Tuesday night.
151
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,579
Maybe you can work that out
when you're out of the house.
152
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,781
Roger!
Ah! A schedule’s a schedule.
153
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,85
[Pal]
154
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:30,790
Set em up again, Joe.
155
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:34,494
JOE:
|, uh, think you’ve had enough,
Major Nelson.
156
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,830
Again, Joe,
and make it a double.
157
00:06:37,30 --> 00:06:40,867
You keep this up, uh, you're
gonna have to go on a diet.
158
00:06:41,67 --> 00:06:43,603
That’s the least of
my problems.
159
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,572
You--? You dial
that number again?
160
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,608
Yeah, | did,
and it’s still busy.
161
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,310
MAN: Oh, yeah!
That’s it.
162
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,412
Not only am | evicted
from my own house,
163
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,748
but my phone bills are being run
into the millions.
164
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,82
| know how it is.
165
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,918
My dad’s always
griping at my mom
166
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,153
for using the phone
too much.
167
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,254
Roger...
168
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,123
you ve had it.
169
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:07,594
Roger?
170
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:08,728
[SCOFFS]
171
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,130
Sheesh!
172
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,732
The older generation’s
really fouled up.
173
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,540
[Pal]
174
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:21,641
[WHISPERING]
Roger?
175
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,411
Roger.
176
00:07:26,46 --> 00:07:30,150
I-| don’t mean to disturb you,
but | gotta get some sleep.
177
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:32,886
Roge?
178
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,291
[CRASHING]
179
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:47,734
[CLATTERING]
180
00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,144
[CRUNCHING]
181
00:08:13,93 --> 00:08:13,994
Roge?
182
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,435
[GARGLING]
183
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,770
Oh!
184
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,672
Will you take it easy?
| got in here first.
185
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,407
Shh. Where’s Rosa?
186
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:28,441
Oh,
she left hours ago.
187
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,43
We finished
our rigging.
188
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,211
Huh?
189
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,380
We finished our
rigging the boat.
190
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,949
Well, then why is
the front porch light still on?
191
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,885
| always leave it on.
It keeps away burglars.
192
00:08:39,85 --> 00:08:40,553
[LAUGHING]
It keeps away burglars?
193
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,456
W-what about the signal?
Your schedule?
194
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:47,160
Oh, that. Oh, is that why--?
Is that why you didn’t come in?
195
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,895
Yeah!
Oh, I’m sorry. My fault.
196
00:08:49,95 --> 00:08:51,464
Just-- Just a little mistake.
lll take the boat.
197
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:52,565
Night-night.
198
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,369
| can’t believe it.
199
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,671
He keeps me wandering around
out there for five hours
200
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,507
while he’s got
the porch light on.
201
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,775
And meanwhile,
burglars...
202
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,76
[MUFFLED MUMBLING]
203
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,177
[YELLS]
204
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,447
Not mad, are you?
205
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,917
| gotta hand it to you, Roger.
This meal has been fantastic.
206
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,719
Thank you. | just wanted to
make up for that
207
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,821
little misunderstanding
we had the other night.
208
00:09:15,21 --> 00:09:16,189
Well--
Well, you sure did.
209
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,425
You put my tuna fish casserole
to shame.
210
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,593
And just to let you know
| stick to my bargain,
211
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,795
the house is yours
tonight.
212
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,663
Oh. Well, I’m not gonna be
doing anything.
213
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,765
I’m just gonna do the dishes
and watch a little TV.
214
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,67
You don’t have to
go anyplace.
215
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,635
No, no, no.
A schedule’s a schedule.
216
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,36
Anyway,
I've got a date tonight.
217
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,572
Ah, okay.
Well, have fun.
218
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,674
[Pal]
219
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,421
[Pal]
220
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:56,696
[SIGHS]
221
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,382
[MUSIC PLAYING ON
CLOCK RADIO]
222
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,261
[MUSIC STOPS]
223
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,196
Mine’s broken.
224
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,206
Hi, Joe.
Is my usual ready?
225
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:41,908
Coming right up,
Dr. Bellows.
226
00:10:43,42 --> 00:10:45,845
Say, uh, you just missed
Major Nelson.
227
00:10:46,45 --> 00:10:47,547
Major Nelson,
in here?
228
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,984
And boy,
has he got problems.
229
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,752
Uh, with his roommate.
230
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,121
They, uh,
don't get along.
231
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,23
Oh, | see.
Thanks for telling me, Joe.
232
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,391
Thanks very much.
233
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,560
[Pal]
234
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,233
[GASPS]
235
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,768
Oh!
236
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,638
Why,
this is terrible.
237
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,874
| knew my master
could not do without me.
238
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:16,342
[SIGHS]
239
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,579
Ah. There.
240
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:23,116
Well, now at least
the house is clean.
241
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,786
| bet he’s not been
eating properly, either.
242
00:11:28,87 --> 00:11:28,988
[GASPS]
243
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,661
Yuck.
244
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,867
[QUIETLY]
Well.
245
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,39
ITSKS]
246
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,507
There.
247
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,643
Now at least they will be more
comfortable in a clean house.
248
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,979
Oh,
but what good is it?
249
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,814
They will just
get it filthy again.
250
00:11:55,14 --> 00:11:57,517
JEANNIE [VOICE OVER]:
My master should not have to
think about
251
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,619
silly little things like
cleaning the house
252
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,854
and fixing meals.
253
00:12:02,55 --> 00:12:05,792
He will find it much easier to
be compatible with Major Healey
254
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,961
if | fix the house.
255
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,562
[LAUGHS]
256
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,401
[MAGIC BOINGS]
257
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,569
There.
258
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,105
Now the house is
fully automatic.
259
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,642
[DOORBELL RINGS]
260
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,746
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
261
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,148
Still asleep
at 10:30?
262
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,351
Ten-thirty.
Ten-thirty?
263
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,19
Oh, yes. My--
My alarm clock’s broken.
264
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:34,254
May | come in,
major?
265
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,22
There are a few things
I'd like to discuss
266
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:37,290
with you
and Major Healey.
267
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,459
I-| don't think now is--
The place is a pigsty, sir.
268
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,327
| rather you--
What are you talking about?
269
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:42,895
This room
is immaculate.
270
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,733
| could have sworn
it was an absolute--
271
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,334
Oh, stop mumbling,
major.
272
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,837
There’s something important
I'd like to talk to you about.
273
00:12:51,37 --> 00:12:54,307
| hear that you and Major Healey
are not getting along together.
274
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,742
Oh, s--
Really?
275
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,510
Where did you get
that information, sir?
276
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,112
We're...
getting along fine.
277
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,281
Hm. That’s not what
my informant tells me.
278
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,615
Hm.
279
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:06,919
And | have decided, from now on,
to, uh, split you as a team.
280
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,321
Sir,
you can't split us--
281
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:12,258
Unless | see by your behavior
within the next 24 hours
282
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,860
that you're completely
compatible.
283
00:13:14,60 --> 00:13:15,762
Oh, compatible?
We're always compatible--
284
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,430
Oh! Good morning, Tony.
285
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,831
Boy, | wish | had
a cup of coffee.
286
00:13:19,32 --> 00:13:20,199
Oh, good morning,
Dr. Bellows.
287
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,401
Ah, good morning, major.
288
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,02
[YELLS]
289
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,140
Boy, well,
that’s service for you.
290
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,975
What’s the matter with you,
Major Nelson?
291
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,744
Well, he always gets clumsy
before his morning coffee.
292
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,881
Where’d that coffee come from?
Yeah.
293
00:13:35,81 --> 00:13:36,449
Where did that coffee cup
come from?
294
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,551
[Pal]
295
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:43,289
Major Nelson,
did you see that?
296
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,92
That coffee cup just appeared
in Major Healey’s hand.
297
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,594
Oh, no, no, no, sir.
He had it when he came in.
298
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:49,896
He drinks coffee
in bed.
299
00:13:50,96 --> 00:13:51,497
No, | don't.
| just said | wish I--
300
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,366
Ooh.
301
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,935
Uh, yes, uh-- This is
last night’s coffee, sir.
302
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:57,937
He's very neat.
He was taking it to the kitchen.
303
00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:00,807
If it's last night’s coffee,
why is it steaming?
304
00:14:01,07 --> 00:14:04,410
Steaming? No, it’s not steaming.
It’s ice cold, sir. See?
305
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:05,411
[STIFLES YELL]
306
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:06,412
l-- Ice cold.
307
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,82
Major. Give me that, hm?
308
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,84
Oh.
Augh!
309
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,353
[MOANING]
310
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,787
Major.
Ah! Oh!
311
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,357
I’m sorry. It’s ice cold.
See, | said it was ice cold.
312
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,625
Then why is he leaping around
as if he’s got a hotfoot?
313
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,994
Well, ice cold coffee, sir,
first thing in the morning.
314
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,97
You'd leap around too.
Tony.
315
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,398
Hm?
Why did you do that?
316
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,567
Uh, it was an accident, Roge.
I’m terribly sorry.
317
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,02
No, it wasn’t.
You deliberately spilled--
318
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,705
Well, | see it’s unnecessary
for me to stay with you
319
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:33,806
as | had planned.
320
00:14:34,06 --> 00:14:36,876
Obviously,
you both cannot work together.
321
00:14:37,76 --> 00:14:38,177
[STAMMERING]
322
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,79
[WHISPERING]
Roge, he’s gonna split us up.
323
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,148
Yeah, he can't do that.
We're buddies, you know?
324
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,549
It doesn’t look like that
to him.
325
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,784
[LAUGHING]
Hi.
326
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:48,454
As of tomorrow, you will both
find a new partner.
327
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,423
Oh, Dr. Bellows,
you re making a big mistake.
328
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,824
W-We’'re crazy about
each other.
329
00:14:52,24 --> 00:14:54,927
Oh? Is that why Major Nelson
stepped on your foot,
330
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,530
spilled coffee all over you
and elbowed you in the stomach?
331
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,633
Well, actually, we were just
fooling around. Ha, ha, ha.
332
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,935
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a--
333
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,605
You know, just roughhousing
like a couple of college kids.
334
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,806
Blowing off
a little steam.
335
00:15:07,06 --> 00:15:09,876
| give Roger
a little poke in the stomach.
336
00:15:10,76 --> 00:15:11,644
[LAUGHS]
You know, just playing around.
337
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,813
Yeah, just--
Just playing, hit me right--
338
00:15:14,13 --> 00:15:15,681
Said he’s playing around
and | just gave him
339
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:16,849
a little kick
in the shins.
340
00:15:17,49 --> 00:15:19,85
[LAUGHING]
341
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,454
Hey, that was pretty fast.
Ah, yeah. Ha, ha.
342
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,423
Then | just took my fist
and | just, | tear you--
343
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,525
[Pal]
344
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,97
All right, gentlemen,
all right.
345
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,802
ll put off my decision
for 24 hours.
346
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:37,336
But, uh,
347
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,338
during that time
’ll stay with you
348
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,575
and observe every nuance of
your relationship.
349
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,577
Oh. Great, sir.
Great, sir.
350
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,878
Happy
to have you aboard.
351
00:15:46,78 --> 00:15:47,647
I’m happy
if you’re happy.
352
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,184
Ooh.
353
00:15:52,84 --> 00:15:53,586
Well, is she here?
Shh.
354
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,388
Dr. Bellows is upstairs.
He might hear.
355
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,457
| looked all over the house.
| can’t find her.
356
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,91
Then how did the kitchen
get cleaned up?
357
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,827
How did the living room
get cleaned up?
358
00:16:01,27 --> 00:16:02,195
How did | get
my cup of coffee?
359
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,930
If she isn’t here,
we must have elves.
360
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,165
No, I-l think | know
what happened.
361
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,534
Before Jeannie left, she wanted
to fix the house so that
362
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,903
l-if we wanted anything,
all we had to do was ask
363
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:11,904
and it'd be done.
364
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,573
You mean
the house is automatic?
365
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:14,907
| think so.
366
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,309
Well, why don’t we
give it a test?
367
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,677
All right.
Uh...
368
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:21,113
Um, | wish | had, um--
| wish | had an apple.
369
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,282
Hey, that’s great.
370
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,518
Hey, wait a minute.
What kind of test is that?
371
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:26,619
Let me give it
a test.
372
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,387
Uh, I’d like
a beautiful redhead.
373
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,922
Oh, Roge.
374
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:32,959
Yeah.
375
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:33,993
[LAUGHS]
376
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:35,394
Uh, ha, hello.
377
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,63
Hello. Ha, ha.
Hello.
378
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,732
There-- There’s been kind of
a little misunderstanding here.
379
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,267
I-- | wish you'd--
Wait a minute.
380
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:42,869
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Let’s--
381
00:16:43,69 --> 00:16:45,471
What’s the rush, huh?
Roger.
382
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,340
| wish you'd disappear.
383
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,810
Roger?
What did | say?
384
00:16:51,10 --> 00:16:52,278
| said Roger,
| wish you'd disap--
385
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,881
What’s the matter with me--?
| like you better anyway.
386
00:16:55,81 --> 00:16:56,249
[BOTH LAUGH]
387
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,617
Yeah? Yeah, I--
388
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,186
Look, I-l think there’s a
little misunderstanding here.
389
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:01,921
Uh, there’s been
some kind of a mistake.
390
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,757
Um, I-- Roger?
| wish you'd come back.
391
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:06,959
Ah, just what | thought.
392
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:08,427
You wanted her
for yourself, huh?
393
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,829
Roger,
| wish you’d shut up.
394
00:17:10,29 --> 00:17:10,830
[MAGIC TONE]
395
00:17:11,30 --> 00:17:11,931
Now, I’m sorry, miss.
396
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:13,799
There really has been
a misunderstanding.
397
00:17:14,00 --> 00:17:15,234
Here.
Have an apple.
398
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,569
Now disappear.
399
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,673
Oh. Oh, thank you,
thank you.
400
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,174
Heh, Roger, boy,
are we in trouble.
401
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,843
We got 24 hours
to convince Dr. Bellows
402
00:17:24,43 --> 00:17:24,877
that we’re compatible,
403
00:17:25,77 --> 00:17:26,479
and we got a nutty house
on our hands.
404
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,948
[MOUTHING]
405
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:31,83
Well, don't just stand there.
Say something!
406
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,621
Oh, I’m sorry.
| wish you could speak.
407
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:36,622
[MAGIC TONE]
408
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,623
[GASPING]
409
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,91
Thank you.
Now-- Now, look,
410
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,494
we're gonna have to function
like a well-oiled machine.
411
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,463
And above all, we've got to
avoid using terms like, um,
412
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:45,698
"| wish"
or "| want."
413
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,900
Well, | certainly wish
that we could have someone--
414
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,302
Sh! Now, what did |
just tell you?
415
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,803
| was just going to
wish us luck.
416
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,643
[Pal]
417
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,501
Breakfast is served,
Sir.
418
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,438
[WHISTLING]
[HUMMING]
419
00:18:53,65 --> 00:18:56,102
Amazing!
Absolutely amazing.
420
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,370
After you.
After you.
421
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,904
No, after you.
All right.
422
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:03,342
[Pal]
423
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,378
Major Nelson? Major Healey?
I'm ready now.
424
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,647
Oh? | thought you'd be staying
the night with us, sir.
425
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,248
Well,
there’s no need now.
426
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,884
It’s obvious that |
misjudged you two completely.
427
00:19:12,84 --> 00:19:14,186
You're as compatible
and efficient a team
428
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,287
as l’ve ever seen.
429
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,589
You mean
the test is over, sir?
430
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,90
Well, as far as
I’m concerned it is,
431
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:19,992
and you've both passed
with flying colors.
432
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,762
Well, uh, it’s certainly been
a pleasure having you.
433
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,130
That goes double
for me, sir.
434
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,932
There’s just one thing
that still puzzles me:
435
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,634
why you were arguing
this morning
436
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,636
over a simple little thing
like a cup of coffee.
437
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,672
[BOTH LAUGH]
438
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,473
| wish you'd tell me
the truth about that.
439
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,474
[MAGIC TONE]
440
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,742
I'll tell you
the truth, sir.
441
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:37,910
Roger Healey is
a slob.
442
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,612
He came here with
enough stuff for a year
443
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,681
and dumped it on
my living-room floor
444
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,417
and generally made this place
look like a pigsty.
445
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,985
Major Nelson,
what are you saying?
446
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,453
| don’t know.
Yeah, well, | know.
447
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,321
| may be a slob,
but that’s better than being
448
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,489
a nitpicking
list-maker!
449
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,258
| mean, he has a schedule
for everything.
450
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,326
A schedule for cooking,
for washing the dishes.
451
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,629
He even has a schedule
for when we schedule things.
452
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,297
Well, | stayed out there
half the night
453
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,99
waiting for you
to turn the porch light on.
454
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,100
Gentlemen, please!
455
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,302
All he can make is
a lousy casserole!
456
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:05,204
And when you cook,
you make it look like
457
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:06,772
it’s been hit by
Hurricane Zelda!
458
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:08,274
l-- You left it like
it looks like--
459
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,409
Gentlemen.
Gentlemen.
460
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,145
Gentlemen, will you please
stop arguing?
461
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,413
[MAGIC TONE]
462
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,617
You almost had me convinced,
didn’t you?
463
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,253
Well, the truth
will come out.
464
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,622
After tomorrow,
you'll find out
465
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,459
that there’s no necessity
of working together anymore.
466
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,395
ROGER:
Dr. Bellows.
467
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,131
I’m sorry, Roge.
468
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,433
You’re sorry?
I’m sorry.
469
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,802
| don’t Know what happened.
It just came rushing out.
470
00:20:37,02 --> 00:20:38,938
| feel terrible.
| wish the roof would fall in.
471
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,479
[Pal]
472
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:48,47
IGASPS, THEN GIGGLES]
473
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,15
Who did that?
474
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:58,424
Not bad.
475
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,61
Master, Major Healey,
I’m back.
476
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,896
Yes, | sense that,
Jeannie.
477
00:21:04,96 --> 00:21:06,398
Well, are you not happy
to see me?
478
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,666
Did you not miss me?
479
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:10,69
We missed you,
but you didn’t miss us.
480
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,205
Well, I-l do not understand.
481
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:14,974
Well, uh,
Jeannie, uh, uh--
482
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,476
Your automatic house caused
Roger and | to have an argument
483
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:18,711
and Dr. Bellows saw it,
484
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,412
and he’s splitting us up
as a team.
485
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,580
[GASPS]
486
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,215
Well,
that is terrible.
487
00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:24,784
Just because you had
a little fight?
488
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:25,785
[SCOFFS]
489
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,353
Well, that could happen
to anyone.
490
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,354
Yeah, | know,
but it--
491
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,122
Unfortunately,
it happened to us.
492
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:32,958
And at a very
inopportune time.
493
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,960
Say, it could happen
to anyone, couldn't it?
494
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,62
[LAUGHS]
495
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:38,631
I’ve got
a little job for you.
496
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,733
[Pal]
497
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,603
[Pal]
498
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,605
Darling, what on Earth?
499
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,774
What’s the matter?
You look terrible.
500
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,977
| have a very unpleasant chore
to perform tomorrow.
501
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:54,446
| have to split up
Major Nelson and Major Healey.
502
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,916
Split them up? What--?
What on Earth for?
503
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,17
Ahh. They hate each other.
504
00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,919
Oh, darling,
| can’t believe that.
505
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,854
| just saw them
almost come to blows
506
00:22:02,54 --> 00:22:04,89
over a silly little thing
like a cup of coffee.
507
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,457
No wonder you're so
depressed.
508
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:06,592
Well,
you just sit there.
509
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,727
I've got the martinis
all ready for you.
510
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:09,728
Thank you,
dear.
511
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:10,830
[MAGIC CHIME]
512
00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:14,600
Here you are,
sweetheart.
513
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:15,601
Thanks.
514
00:22:15,801 --> 00:22:17,69
Mm-hm.
Mm.
515
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:18,170
[MAGIC BOINGS]
516
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:22,241
Amanda, this martini
is terrible.
517
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:24,476
That's the way
I've always prepared it, dear.
518
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,179
BELLOWS:
Yes, and they’ve always
been terrible.
519
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:28,647
AMANDA:
I’m sorry, darling. l--
520
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,316
I'll go fix you another one.
Mm.
521
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:31,417
[MAGIC BOINGS]
522
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,754
No, | won't,
either.
523
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,823
You don't like
the martini?
524
00:22:38,23 --> 00:22:40,626
You go fix it
yourself.
525
00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:44,96
When a man comes home
from a hard day’s work
526
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:46,465
he deserves
a decent martini!
527
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:49,435
Don’t shout at me,
Alfred!
528
00:22:49,635 --> 00:22:51,537
ll shout
if | want to!
529
00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:53,772
[WHIMPERING]
530
00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:55,875
[DOORBELL RINGING]
531
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:01,413
Yes? What is it?
532
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:02,915
Oh, hello, Dr. Bellows, uh,
533
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,116
we just dropped by to see
534
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,585
if we could persuade you
to reconsider your decision.
535
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,187
Yes, Sir.
Anybody could have a fight.
536
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,188
Yeah.
537
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,489
[AMANDA SOBBING
AND BANGING]
538
00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:12,224
Oh, what’s wrong with
Mrs. Bellows?
539
00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:14,226
Uh, Major Nelson,
Major Healey, |, um--
540
00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:15,461
I’m just in
the middle of a--
541
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,229
I’m afraid you’ve come
at the wrong time.
542
00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:18,397
Go ahead
and tell them!
543
00:23:18,597 --> 00:23:21,767
We just had a--
A knock-down-drag-out fight.
544
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,971
Well, I-l sure hope you're not
considering separating.
545
00:23:26,171 --> 00:23:26,972
Well,
of course not.
546
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:29,174
Whatever gave you
that silly idea?
547
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:32,645
You may have
a point, major.
548
00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:34,213
Just because you have
a little tiff,
549
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:35,881
it doesn’t mean
the roof has to fall in.
550
00:23:36,81 --> 00:23:37,116
[LAUGHING]
No.
551
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,859
[AMANDA WAILING]
552
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:51,497
[Pal]
36716
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