All language subtitles for What If S03E04 - What If...Howard the Duck Got Hitched (Awafim.tv)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:09,771 DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV 2 00:00:09,771 --> 00:00:11,436 Congratulations. 3 00:00:11,437 --> 00:00:13,353 [Howard the Duck] Oh, my God! Darce, I'm kvelling. 4 00:00:13,354 --> 00:00:15,145 I am positively kvelling right now. 5 00:00:15,146 --> 00:00:17,353 - It looks just like me. - [Howard the Duck] Hey! Look over here. 6 00:00:17,354 --> 00:00:18,645 - Let me just get your eyes. - No. 7 00:00:18,646 --> 00:00:20,936 - I wanna get the light on your eyes. - Nine hours of labor. 8 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,811 - It's so cinematic. - I'm covered in sweat. 9 00:00:22,812 --> 00:00:24,228 - This is not a good look. - [nurse] Oh. 10 00:00:24,229 --> 00:00:26,520 - Would you like me to hold the camera? - Oh, that's perfect. 11 00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:28,353 Make sure you frame all three of us, please? 12 00:00:28,354 --> 00:00:31,061 - Howard, it's our baby. - [laughs] 13 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:32,561 Or it will be, right? 14 00:00:32,562 --> 00:00:34,436 When do you think this thing is gonna hatch? 15 00:00:34,437 --> 00:00:37,562 I don't know. It's gonna hatch in... you know, uh... 16 00:00:38,312 --> 00:00:39,646 whatever the normal... 17 00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:45,103 [The Watcher] In an instant, Howard and Darcy The Duck's whole world changed. 18 00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:46,186 Little did they know 19 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:49,312 their child was destined to change everyone else's too. 20 00:00:52,604 --> 00:00:53,646 {\an8}[The Watcher] Time. 21 00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:57,979 {\an8}Space. 22 00:00:59,687 --> 00:01:00,729 {\an8}Reality. 23 00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:05,271 {\an8}It's more than a linear path. 24 00:01:10,146 --> 00:01:14,646 {\an8}It's a prism of endless possibility, 25 00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:20,604 {\an8}where a single choice can branch out into infinite realities, 26 00:01:23,396 --> 00:01:26,146 {\an8}creating alternate worlds from the ones you know. 27 00:01:30,271 --> 00:01:31,604 {\an8}I am the Watcher. 28 00:01:33,854 --> 00:01:37,021 {\an8}I am your guide through these vast new realities. 29 00:01:38,437 --> 00:01:41,937 {\an8}Follow me and ponder the question... 30 00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:47,228 {\an8}"What if?" 31 00:01:47,229 --> 00:01:49,437 {\an8}[KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing] 32 00:01:52,354 --> 00:01:54,770 [The Watcher] And to think a romance that could change the world, 33 00:01:54,771 --> 00:01:57,021 {\an8}all began at a party. 34 00:01:57,562 --> 00:02:01,811 An intergalactic blowout thrown by the party prince of Asgard himself... 35 00:02:01,812 --> 00:02:03,103 Huzzah! 36 00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:05,520 - ...that introduced Earth to the stars... - [people cheering] 37 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:08,686 {\an8}-...and Howard The Duck to Darcy Lewis. - [camera shutter clicking] 38 00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:11,603 Well, it's happy hour. Want some half-priced nachos? 39 00:02:11,604 --> 00:02:14,646 Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date. 40 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,729 [The Watcher] She was right. 41 00:02:18,229 --> 00:02:19,437 It was so much more. 42 00:02:21,562 --> 00:02:23,979 I now pronounce you Darcy, and uh, Duck. 43 00:02:24,729 --> 00:02:27,978 [The Watcher] But Howard and Darcy's lives weren't the only ones changed 44 00:02:27,979 --> 00:02:29,770 by Thor's Midgard rager. 45 00:02:29,771 --> 00:02:32,895 The party may have ended but the guests never left, 46 00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:37,187 as the worlds of Earth and the Cosmos became forever intertwined, 47 00:02:37,771 --> 00:02:39,686 just like Howard and Darcy. 48 00:02:39,687 --> 00:02:43,395 [Howard the Duck and Darcy singing] ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 49 00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,895 ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪ 50 00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:46,978 ♪ You know that! ♪ 51 00:02:46,979 --> 00:02:48,770 ♪ I can't get enough of you... ♪ 52 00:02:48,771 --> 00:02:50,395 ♪ I can't get enough of you, Egg baby... ♪ 53 00:02:50,396 --> 00:02:53,936 [Mrs. Switzler] Hey, enough! The '80s called, they want their song back. 54 00:02:53,937 --> 00:02:56,145 [laughs] That's so funny. 55 00:02:56,146 --> 00:03:00,603 Or it would be, except for the fact that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh! 56 00:03:00,604 --> 00:03:03,978 Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying to put the baby to sleep. 57 00:03:03,979 --> 00:03:05,520 [Mrs. Switzler] With what? Torture? 58 00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:08,020 Hey, we worked really hard on those two-part harmonies! 59 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,436 Okay. And I'm sure the baby loves them. 60 00:03:10,437 --> 00:03:12,104 [gasps] Look, look, look. See... 61 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,437 fast asleep. 62 00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:19,853 I don't appreciate how dismissive she is. 63 00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:21,646 [Darcy] Okay, it doesn't matter. 64 00:03:23,146 --> 00:03:24,228 [sighs in relief] 65 00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:26,728 Will you look at us... nesting? 66 00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:28,395 Well, we are the The Ducks. 67 00:03:28,396 --> 00:03:30,811 - I guess that tracks. - [doorbell rings] 68 00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:31,896 - Huh? - [door opens] 69 00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:34,811 You've been served... 70 00:03:34,812 --> 00:03:35,895 - What? - What? No. 71 00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:37,270 Those charges were dropped. 72 00:03:37,271 --> 00:03:38,353 With two tickets. 73 00:03:38,354 --> 00:03:42,020 All expenses paid to the Grandmaster's Grand Cruise Across the Stars. 74 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,103 - Hello. - Wait! For us? 75 00:03:44,104 --> 00:03:46,020 - Targeted advertising. - Oh. 76 00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:48,479 It'll be an experience you'll never forget. 77 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,895 Ahoy there, Sailors of the Stars. 78 00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:56,061 Time to check your worries at the gate, and toss those inhibitions overboard 79 00:03:56,062 --> 00:03:58,770 because when you're riding on the SS Grand Master, 80 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,603 adventure has no boundaries. 81 00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:04,436 [gasps] Howard, have you seen this itinerary? 82 00:04:04,437 --> 00:04:06,978 Couples cliff diving on Vormir... 83 00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:10,478 Oh, yeah, they say you can only truly appreciate it with someone you love. 84 00:04:10,479 --> 00:04:14,020 [gasps] Oh, a lava boat ride through the canals of Muspelheim. 85 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,561 Wait, you don't think that could, like, hard-boil our baby or anything, right? 86 00:04:17,562 --> 00:04:20,645 Darce, you heard the lady. This is a family cruise line. 87 00:04:20,646 --> 00:04:22,353 - They know what they're doing. - Of course. 88 00:04:22,354 --> 00:04:25,353 Now come on, I wanna hit that buffet before everyone breathes on it. 89 00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:28,186 - [Bifrost whirs] - Howard, oh, my God! Hold on to the baby. 90 00:04:28,187 --> 00:04:30,186 - The baby, get it. - [Howard the Duck] All right, I got it. 91 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,270 Whoa! Oh-ho! 92 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,978 - We're floating! - I see we're lightening up already. 93 00:04:33,979 --> 00:04:36,478 [digital whirring, beeping] 94 00:04:36,479 --> 00:04:37,936 I got eyes on the package. 95 00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:40,312 Inform the buyer we'll intercept it off-world. 96 00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:45,561 - Oh, boy! - This is very nice. 97 00:04:45,562 --> 00:04:47,728 This is just too much. Look at us. 98 00:04:47,729 --> 00:04:49,936 - I know. Look at us. - Lei for your neck. 99 00:04:49,937 --> 00:04:52,478 Welcome cocktail to lower inhibitions. 100 00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:55,478 Darcy, check out these leis. They're not even plastic. 101 00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:56,978 That is a classy touch. 102 00:04:56,979 --> 00:05:00,145 Ooh, and this welcome drink. It tastes like a warm hug, 103 00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:02,020 and vodka, mostly vodka. 104 00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:03,811 - Here. Have another. - Have another. 105 00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:06,020 - [laughs] - Okay. That's not-- 106 00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,270 [Grandmaster] Please, I insist. 107 00:05:08,271 --> 00:05:10,561 On the SS Grand Master, it's not a bad decision 108 00:05:10,562 --> 00:05:13,645 - if you don't remember it. - Oh, my God! Howard! It's the guy. 109 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,270 - I gotta fight this guy? - No, no, no. 110 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:16,853 - DJ Foam. - DJ Foam! 111 00:05:16,854 --> 00:05:18,311 - Yeah. - The Grandmaster. 112 00:05:18,312 --> 00:05:19,436 [speaking French] 113 00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:21,936 Bowing is optional. I'm not that big of a deal. 114 00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:24,645 - I take that back. I am a big deal. - [laughs] Hey! 115 00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:27,603 Really, we cannot thank you enough for these tickets. 116 00:05:27,604 --> 00:05:31,145 Ah, for you crazy kids? Nothing I love more than a wholesome-- 117 00:05:31,146 --> 00:05:34,020 - Oh! Oh! - [Darcy] Uh... 118 00:05:34,021 --> 00:05:38,312 This must be the adorable little reason we're all here today. 119 00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:40,561 Now, look at this. 120 00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:43,436 Now, what you have here is the Galaxy's finest selection 121 00:05:43,437 --> 00:05:47,936 of sitters, swaddlers, sleep trainers, nannies, au pairs, governesses, plus... 122 00:05:47,937 --> 00:05:50,270 Topaz here is actually an excellent wet nurse. 123 00:05:50,271 --> 00:05:51,353 That part's extra. 124 00:05:51,354 --> 00:05:52,645 All at your disposal. 125 00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:56,436 So you two can enjoy some much-deserved mommy and daddy time. 126 00:05:56,437 --> 00:05:57,521 [both] Uh... 127 00:05:58,604 --> 00:06:00,479 I mean, he doesn't not have a point. 128 00:06:00,646 --> 00:06:01,646 Mmm. 129 00:06:03,479 --> 00:06:05,061 [sighs] Wow! 130 00:06:05,062 --> 00:06:06,228 First-time parents? 131 00:06:06,229 --> 00:06:08,271 Mm-hmm. Yep. Our first one. 132 00:06:09,271 --> 00:06:10,437 Yeah, I can tell. 133 00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:15,186 [Topaz] The Grandmaster's Grand Welcome Brunch will begin shortly. 134 00:06:15,187 --> 00:06:19,686 The "Grand" part wasn't false advertising, I'll give him that. This is quite grand. 135 00:06:19,687 --> 00:06:25,436 Now, of course, our guests of honor have a special seat reserved for them 136 00:06:25,437 --> 00:06:27,311 at the head of the table. 137 00:06:27,312 --> 00:06:28,395 [both] Oh! 138 00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:30,186 - Well, that's nice. - Very fancy. 139 00:06:30,187 --> 00:06:32,228 - The chair is well-padded. - Ahem, ahem! 140 00:06:32,229 --> 00:06:36,604 Diners and dinettes, gather in, settle down. 141 00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:38,478 - Hmm. - [whirs] 142 00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:42,062 And, uh, most importantly, raise a glass. 143 00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:45,103 Hope you all came hungry, because once you get a taste... 144 00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,646 Quite the hoopla just for breakfast, huh? 145 00:06:48,604 --> 00:06:51,770 Hey! Hey, Howard, Howard, I can't make heads or tails of this menu. 146 00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:53,686 - You speak, uh, hoity-toity? - I do not. 147 00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:55,645 But my phone does. [chuckles] 148 00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:57,061 Yeah, let's see what we got. 149 00:06:57,062 --> 00:06:59,645 Here we go. "The Grandmaster invites you 150 00:06:59,646 --> 00:07:02,561 {\an8}"to feast on Howard and Darcy The Duck." 151 00:07:02,562 --> 00:07:03,646 Wait! What? 152 00:07:04,229 --> 00:07:06,353 Wait, wait, wait. It's "feast your eyes." 153 00:07:06,354 --> 00:07:08,520 "Feast your eyes." Okay, I guess that's nice. 154 00:07:08,521 --> 00:07:10,895 - [♪ upbeat disco music playing] - [Grandmaster] Ah... 155 00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:13,603 Uh, today's special 156 00:07:13,604 --> 00:07:18,395 is an entrée, uh-huh, like no other. 157 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,020 Born of two worlds... 158 00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:22,311 Born of two worlds? 159 00:07:22,312 --> 00:07:25,436 ...a true cosmic wonder. 160 00:07:25,437 --> 00:07:27,728 [explosion] 161 00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:29,478 - [Darcy] Uh, Howard... - Wait, it says, 162 00:07:29,479 --> 00:07:32,270 {\an8}"To feast your eyes on Howard and Darcy The Duck's 163 00:07:32,271 --> 00:07:33,520 {\an8}- "homemade..." - Howard! 164 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,895 Oh, no, is this supposed to be a potluck? 165 00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:37,354 [flames crackling] 166 00:07:37,479 --> 00:07:38,520 [Darcy] Howard! 167 00:07:38,521 --> 00:07:40,561 - Look at the baby! - Yep. Hold on. 168 00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:41,645 [digital beeps] 169 00:07:41,646 --> 00:07:43,603 [gasps] Darce, they wanna eat the baby! 170 00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:46,521 No, duh, Howard, we've got a Hannibal Lecter situation! 171 00:07:47,896 --> 00:07:52,311 Oh, let the brunch begi-- [groans] 172 00:07:52,312 --> 00:07:54,895 - [laughs] - [thuds] 173 00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:58,811 What? Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk saved our baby! 174 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,811 Sorry to spoil y'all's breakfast, folks. [whistles] 175 00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:05,229 But I was hopin' to grab a little somethin' to go. Ta-ta! 176 00:08:05,729 --> 00:08:08,353 Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk stole our baby! 177 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:11,103 No, no, no! Hey, Space Pirates! 178 00:08:11,104 --> 00:08:13,021 [Darcy] What're you waiting for? Come on, Duck! 179 00:08:15,312 --> 00:08:17,146 Coast clear, let's get to the life rafts! 180 00:08:18,104 --> 00:08:19,478 All right, here we go! 181 00:08:19,479 --> 00:08:21,103 Howard, are you sure you can fly this? 182 00:08:21,104 --> 00:08:23,853 Are you kidding? I'm a duck. I was born to fly. Strap in. 183 00:08:23,854 --> 00:08:26,811 - [Darcy grunts] - [metal clanging] 184 00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,187 [Darcy] Oh, move over! 185 00:08:31,521 --> 00:08:33,811 [Howard the Duck] Faster, baby! Faster! We almost got him! 186 00:08:33,812 --> 00:08:36,061 Aah, come on, get it together, Darcy. 187 00:08:36,062 --> 00:08:37,811 This is just like Galaga. 188 00:08:37,812 --> 00:08:39,521 [both screaming] 189 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,562 [Darcy] Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 190 00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:48,061 - What? - Aah! 191 00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:50,395 - It just-- It just disappear-- - But they were right... 192 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:54,646 I don't know what we were thinking. Nothing good ever happens on a cruise! 193 00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:57,104 - [sighs] - I'm sorry. 194 00:08:58,312 --> 00:08:59,312 This was a mistake. 195 00:08:59,812 --> 00:09:02,229 Our baby is... gone. 196 00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:04,103 [sighs wearily] 197 00:09:04,104 --> 00:09:05,562 We had one job. 198 00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:07,604 And we failed. 199 00:09:09,104 --> 00:09:10,811 What? What are you doing? 200 00:09:10,812 --> 00:09:13,562 Calling the fuzz! Clearly, we can't do this on our own! 201 00:09:16,604 --> 00:09:18,603 Um, it's about the Convergence case, sir. 202 00:09:18,604 --> 00:09:20,686 This couple could be the lead we've been waiting for. 203 00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,061 And what did you say their name was? 204 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,645 - That would be the The Ducks, sir. - Huh? 205 00:09:24,646 --> 00:09:26,811 [Darcy] What the hell is going on, Director? 206 00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:28,895 First the Grandmaster, now the Ravagers? 207 00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:31,186 Why are all these people after our baby? 208 00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:33,936 I assure you, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck, 209 00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:37,811 recovering your egg has become S.H.I.E.L.D.'s priority number one. 210 00:09:37,812 --> 00:09:40,936 Oh, yeah? You and everyone else in the galaxy, apparently. 211 00:09:40,937 --> 00:09:43,311 What the hell is so special about our kid, anyway? 212 00:09:43,312 --> 00:09:44,395 - [gasps] Howard! - Ow! 213 00:09:44,396 --> 00:09:46,686 I mean, besides the fact that they're our kid. 214 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,728 What do you know about the Cosmic Convergence? 215 00:09:49,729 --> 00:09:51,645 Wait. The Convergence? 216 00:09:51,646 --> 00:09:54,020 - Wasn't that on my due date? - Exactly. 217 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:58,020 And many believe the planetary alignment was a sign. 218 00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,061 The birth of a great new power. 219 00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:02,561 You think it's our child? 220 00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:04,103 I guess, deep down, I always knew 221 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,436 our little champ was destined for big things. 222 00:10:06,437 --> 00:10:08,354 [Coulson] Uh, a word, sir. 223 00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:10,979 [murmuring] 224 00:10:14,562 --> 00:10:16,853 ...our satellites picked up a Ravager ship making the jump 225 00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:18,228 out of the Cat's Eye Nebula. 226 00:10:18,229 --> 00:10:20,561 It could indicate they're meeting with The Collector. 227 00:10:20,562 --> 00:10:21,646 Hm. 228 00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:25,979 Best you leave this with the experts, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck. 229 00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:31,521 We'll see to it your Egg stays out of the wrong hands. 230 00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:33,146 Fury out! 231 00:10:33,646 --> 00:10:35,561 Screw this! Well, I'm not waiting for the five-oh. 232 00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,561 If the Ravagers are workin' for The Collector, 233 00:10:37,562 --> 00:10:38,978 then we know where they're headed. 234 00:10:38,979 --> 00:10:40,270 - Where? - Knowhere. 235 00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,561 - What? - Knowhere. 236 00:10:41,562 --> 00:10:43,603 Well, they've gotta be going somewhere. 237 00:10:43,604 --> 00:10:44,811 Knowhere. 238 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,145 - Howard? - Knowhere. 239 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,437 Where are they going? 240 00:10:57,854 --> 00:10:59,603 Milord Yondu Udonta, 241 00:10:59,604 --> 00:11:05,520 I present to you, Kaecilius, Master of the Dark Arts. 242 00:11:05,521 --> 00:11:09,520 Only in silence can you hear the whispers from the Dark. 243 00:11:09,521 --> 00:11:10,895 [Yondu] Oh-ho! Whoa! 244 00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:12,686 What happened to The Collector? 245 00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:15,186 He's been... collected. 246 00:11:15,187 --> 00:11:17,395 Trapped inside the Mirror Dimension. 247 00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:19,978 But we knew the most powerful relics in the Cosmos 248 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:23,770 always seem to find their way here... eventually. 249 00:11:23,771 --> 00:11:26,395 Listen, man. Word on the street here 250 00:11:26,396 --> 00:11:29,436 is that this egg is a pretty hot damn commodity. 251 00:11:29,437 --> 00:11:34,228 I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves and an Olympic God. 252 00:11:34,229 --> 00:11:37,771 You get what I'm sayin'? So, our price just went up. 253 00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:39,561 I'm sorry, Captain, 254 00:11:39,562 --> 00:11:41,812 but Dormammu does not come to bargain. 255 00:11:42,312 --> 00:11:44,521 [Carina chanting magic incantation] 256 00:11:45,312 --> 00:11:47,936 [chanting magic incantation] 257 00:11:47,937 --> 00:11:49,270 [Yondu screams] 258 00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:51,604 [people continue chanting] 259 00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,936 [Howard the Duck] Jeez, easy, Darce. The wall, the wall. 260 00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,395 - [Darcy] It's fine! - Oh, oh! 261 00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:57,478 [Darcy] Quiet, Howard! 262 00:11:57,479 --> 00:11:59,186 You know I can't park when someone is watching! 263 00:11:59,187 --> 00:12:00,312 I'm lookin' away. 264 00:12:03,562 --> 00:12:04,687 That was great, babe. Wow. 265 00:12:05,396 --> 00:12:06,395 [Darcy groans] 266 00:12:06,396 --> 00:12:10,645 Whoa, can't believe you escaped through the sewage tunnels. 267 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:11,728 [groans] 268 00:12:11,729 --> 00:12:14,145 You won't even use a public restroom. 269 00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:16,311 I'm not proud of it. I did what I had to do. 270 00:12:16,312 --> 00:12:19,021 - Shh! Howard, I hear something creepy. - [indistinct chanting] 271 00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:20,771 Do you hear that? 272 00:12:31,896 --> 00:12:33,687 - Yeah, it's very creepy. - It's very creepy! 273 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,187 [all chanting] 274 00:12:43,271 --> 00:12:44,687 - [Darcy] Howard! - [quacks] 275 00:12:46,854 --> 00:12:48,937 [chanting in unison] 276 00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,479 What in the name of Eyes Wide Shut! 277 00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:55,229 [both mumbling] 278 00:12:55,521 --> 00:12:56,895 - ...Dormammu. - ...Dormammu. 279 00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:58,687 - Yeah, that is right. - Crushin' it. 280 00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:05,061 [gasps] That's our baby! 281 00:13:05,062 --> 00:13:07,354 Oh, no! There's gotta be something we can do! 282 00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:17,853 So, uh, excuse me. What's the deal with the magic act? 283 00:13:17,854 --> 00:13:20,978 We know. Obviously. We just wanna hear it in your words. 284 00:13:20,979 --> 00:13:24,811 Quiet! The "ensoulment" is about to begin. 285 00:13:24,812 --> 00:13:26,604 - Ensoulment? - Ensoulment? 286 00:13:28,604 --> 00:13:34,479 Behold, our Dark Master, Dormammu! 287 00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:41,145 [chanting] 288 00:13:41,146 --> 00:13:44,104 Dormammu, we present to you an offering. 289 00:13:44,646 --> 00:13:47,561 A powerful vessel to serve as your host body, 290 00:13:47,562 --> 00:13:50,145 from which you will be born anew. 291 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,228 Howard! I think 292 00:13:51,229 --> 00:13:54,520 they're tryna Rosemary's Baby this Dormammu guy into our baby! 293 00:13:54,521 --> 00:13:55,936 No. No. No. 294 00:13:55,937 --> 00:13:57,104 [hissing] 295 00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,353 Did I get it? 296 00:13:59,354 --> 00:14:01,270 - What the... - What? No! 297 00:14:01,271 --> 00:14:04,104 [all clamoring] 298 00:14:06,229 --> 00:14:07,936 S.H.I.E.L.D.! Nobody move! 299 00:14:07,937 --> 00:14:10,103 I didn't do it! I'm innocent, I tell you! 300 00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:12,353 Relax, Howard. He's not here for us, remember? 301 00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:14,771 Right. Right. It's just a force of habit. 302 00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,270 [officer] Hands out of your robes, now! 303 00:14:17,271 --> 00:14:21,896 You are in possession of unauthorized level 11 cosmic contraband. 304 00:14:22,479 --> 00:14:25,520 I would suggest you stand down, Director. 305 00:14:25,521 --> 00:14:28,686 You've no idea what you've found yourself in the middle of. 306 00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:32,603 I understand enough to know that the galaxy will be safest 307 00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,395 with that Egg in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands. 308 00:14:34,396 --> 00:14:36,520 [Howard the Duck] Uh, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands? 309 00:14:36,521 --> 00:14:39,103 [Darcy] [laughs] Thanks, but no thanks, my dude. 310 00:14:39,104 --> 00:14:42,395 Yeah. Look, Your Honor, I appreciate the search and rescue, 311 00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:45,061 but I don't think we're in the market for childcare. 312 00:14:45,062 --> 00:14:46,436 Who the hell are these two? 313 00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:47,936 [quacks] We're the parents. 314 00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:50,103 I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. The Duck, 315 00:14:50,104 --> 00:14:53,145 but S.H.I.E.L.D. can't entrust a being this powerful 316 00:14:53,146 --> 00:14:55,603 to a first-time mom and a gambling addict. 317 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,228 - Hey! - Recovering gambling addict, thank you! 318 00:14:58,229 --> 00:15:00,270 I got the chip. That's the wrong chip. 319 00:15:00,271 --> 00:15:02,021 Coulson, carton it. 320 00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:12,437 It appears you need some help reorienting your perspective. 321 00:15:17,104 --> 00:15:18,604 - I don't like it! - [indistinct shouting] 322 00:15:21,604 --> 00:15:23,146 If that's how it's gonna be... 323 00:15:24,479 --> 00:15:25,812 - [screams] - [all clamoring] 324 00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:30,770 For Dormam-- [grunts] 325 00:15:30,771 --> 00:15:31,854 Get it, get it! 326 00:15:33,437 --> 00:15:35,646 - Get it! [screams] - Get it! I got my-- 327 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,103 Huh? 328 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,812 - [both sigh] - All right. 329 00:15:42,104 --> 00:15:43,436 [panting] 330 00:15:43,437 --> 00:15:45,229 Let's go. [pants] 331 00:15:46,687 --> 00:15:47,686 Do you hear that? 332 00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:49,645 - Oh? - Oh-ho-ho! 333 00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:51,353 Ask and you shall receive. 334 00:15:51,354 --> 00:15:52,561 I didn't hear you ask anyone. 335 00:15:52,562 --> 00:15:55,437 Well, I was askin', babe. You know, in my head. 336 00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:01,436 Breaking Space News, Terran defense force, S.H.I.E.L.D., 337 00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:04,478 has issued an Ivory Alert for a missing cosmic relic, 338 00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:07,228 last seen leaving Knowhere in a Sakaaran vessel. 339 00:16:07,229 --> 00:16:11,395 [laughs] Well, look at us, like an intergalactic Bonnie and Clyde. 340 00:16:11,396 --> 00:16:14,271 Have you seen that movie, Howard? It does not end great for them. 341 00:16:14,937 --> 00:16:17,187 Look, we need to find someplace where we can lay low. 342 00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:21,812 Not to worry. I know just the place where we can chill. 343 00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:26,895 For too long, Jotunheim has been relegated to the shadows. 344 00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:31,145 But with this, the Nine Realms will have no choice 345 00:16:31,146 --> 00:16:34,604 but to bear witness to our glorious purpose. 346 00:16:35,146 --> 00:16:39,978 Right here at the Jotun Slopes luxury hotel, resort, and casino. 347 00:16:39,979 --> 00:16:42,771 The future of intergalactic winter sports. 348 00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:44,645 That's pretty cool, right? 349 00:16:44,646 --> 00:16:47,770 I mean, my father's not 100% on board just yet, 350 00:16:47,771 --> 00:16:49,978 but, you know, I'm gonna get him there. 351 00:16:49,979 --> 00:16:53,353 Dude, we didn't come here for a sales pitch. We came for your help. 352 00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:55,728 You know, I thought so, and let me just cut to the chase. 353 00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:58,478 I can't wait to be your baby's godfather. 354 00:16:58,479 --> 00:17:00,811 I'm so honored. Thank you. This means the world. 355 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,561 - Is this guy serious right now? - Uh. 356 00:17:02,562 --> 00:17:05,353 [laughs] Listen, as swell as that offer is... 357 00:17:05,354 --> 00:17:07,311 - Yeah. - Really, we're very touched. 358 00:17:07,312 --> 00:17:09,436 What we need right now is shelter. 359 00:17:09,437 --> 00:17:12,061 We're kinda on the lam from a couple of cops. 360 00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,936 - And sorcerers. - Pirates, too. 361 00:17:13,937 --> 00:17:15,478 So, what do you say? Can you help us out? 362 00:17:15,479 --> 00:17:16,561 What're you talking about? 363 00:17:16,562 --> 00:17:19,937 You're my brother from another mother's old lady's sister from another mister. 364 00:17:20,646 --> 00:17:21,770 Uh... 365 00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:23,436 You're practically family. 366 00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:26,270 [chuckles nervously] Thanks, man. I mean, it has been a long trip, 367 00:17:26,271 --> 00:17:28,812 and we have not been able to catch a break. 368 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:35,145 Oh! Is that guests already? Hang on, wait, our soft opening isn't for a few days. 369 00:17:35,146 --> 00:17:38,104 I don't think they're here for you. 370 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:48,561 Mr. and Mrs. The Duck, I told you to leave this to us! 371 00:17:48,562 --> 00:17:50,520 Ah, Sir Nicholas Fury! 372 00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:52,062 [chuckles softly] Let's go! 373 00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:56,478 Quickly. Quickly. 374 00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:57,561 Oh, Father! 375 00:17:57,562 --> 00:18:02,811 So much for this grand opening of yours, my son. 376 00:18:02,812 --> 00:18:05,728 [chuckles] These are my friends. See them to safety, yes? 377 00:18:05,729 --> 00:18:07,978 Or we can take this... 378 00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:09,603 - Dad! What are you doing? - No, no, no! 379 00:18:09,604 --> 00:18:13,103 - Give it back. - And return Jotunheim to its former glory. 380 00:18:13,104 --> 00:18:14,728 No! No return to former glory! 381 00:18:14,729 --> 00:18:16,228 - This is embarrassing! - S.H.I.E.L.D.! 382 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,311 - Nobody move! - Dad! 383 00:18:17,312 --> 00:18:18,686 Surrender the artifact! 384 00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:21,186 My brother from another mother will not look kindly on this. 385 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,103 [thunder rumbling] 386 00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:24,520 See? I told you. 387 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,354 [explosion] 388 00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:34,021 I don't think it's who you think it is. 389 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:37,978 Kneel before Zeus! 390 00:18:37,979 --> 00:18:40,478 Oh, good, you're already kneeling. 391 00:18:40,479 --> 00:18:43,228 Now, where is this Egg I saw written in the stars? 392 00:18:43,229 --> 00:18:45,728 Okay, cool. Well, we're heading south for the winter. 393 00:18:45,729 --> 00:18:47,353 Never been much of a snowbird anyway. 394 00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:48,979 - Darce, let's get outta here. - Come on! 395 00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:51,520 Hey, what do I got? 396 00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:54,936 Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt, thunderbolt! 397 00:18:54,937 --> 00:18:56,228 That guy shocked me! 398 00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:57,729 I'm comin' back for you, buddy! 399 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,270 Darce! 400 00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:03,770 Hark, the child born under the stars of the Convergence is ours to take. 401 00:19:03,771 --> 00:19:09,811 And with it, we shall finally plunge the Nine Realms into eternal darkness. 402 00:19:09,812 --> 00:19:12,311 Get out of my way! I am a Master of the Dark Arts! 403 00:19:12,312 --> 00:19:14,811 I'm a Dark Elf. It's in the name, you dimwit! 404 00:19:14,812 --> 00:19:16,312 - Heretic! - Thunderbolt! 405 00:19:16,896 --> 00:19:17,978 Hey! 406 00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:20,103 Hear me and rejoice. 407 00:19:20,104 --> 00:19:23,311 Oh, no! You're not getting your mitts on our magical kid! 408 00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:25,311 What? No. We're just here for a company retreat. 409 00:19:25,312 --> 00:19:26,770 - We have a Groupon. - Okay. 410 00:19:26,771 --> 00:19:30,645 Uh, wait. Did you say "magical kid"? 411 00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:33,020 - [scoffs] Howard! - Sorry! 412 00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:35,353 We might want to call this one in. 413 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:36,895 Thunderbolt for you! 414 00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,604 [all grunt] 415 00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:42,771 Get up, no, no... 416 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,187 Mama's got you, Junior! 417 00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:52,311 [Grandmaster] My fabulous Egg. 418 00:19:52,312 --> 00:19:54,311 - DJ Foam? - The omelet man! 419 00:19:54,312 --> 00:19:56,312 We meet again. What're the odds? 420 00:19:56,854 --> 00:19:59,812 No, seriously, I'm asking you, what are the odds? 421 00:20:00,396 --> 00:20:02,979 - No, no, no. Howard! - Oh, no! 422 00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:06,478 - Oh, no, no, no! - No, no, no! 423 00:20:06,479 --> 00:20:08,479 Oh, come to Papa. 424 00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:14,770 - Sparkles! Huh? - Oh, no, we're going down. Abandon ship. 425 00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:16,771 - [explosion] - [Grandmaster laughs] 426 00:20:17,521 --> 00:20:18,728 No, no, no! Howard! 427 00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:21,561 Excuse me. Just makin' my way. Daddy's got you, baby. 428 00:20:21,562 --> 00:20:22,728 [all clamoring] 429 00:20:22,729 --> 00:20:24,311 Faster, Howard, faster! 430 00:20:24,312 --> 00:20:25,979 I'm running as fast as I can! 431 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,061 The Stones? Is this about the Stones? 432 00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,812 Have you found them? Where are they? 433 00:20:34,396 --> 00:20:37,895 An egg? You called me for an egg? 434 00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:39,687 It's magical? 435 00:20:42,562 --> 00:20:44,811 [all screaming] 436 00:20:44,812 --> 00:20:46,061 Yello. 437 00:20:46,062 --> 00:20:48,062 Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 438 00:20:49,604 --> 00:20:50,603 [groans] 439 00:20:50,604 --> 00:20:52,436 - Oh. Whoa. - Come on, Duck! 440 00:20:52,437 --> 00:20:53,604 [Howard the Duck screams] 441 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:55,771 No! 442 00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:59,311 Yeah! Yodelheim rules! 443 00:20:59,312 --> 00:21:02,604 Yeah! The The Ducks can't be stopped! 444 00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:06,812 - No! - Hold up. 445 00:21:08,396 --> 00:21:09,604 [Howard the Duck, Darcy scream] 446 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,979 And there goes your trust fund. 447 00:21:16,062 --> 00:21:17,061 All of it? 448 00:21:17,062 --> 00:21:19,146 [Howard the Duck, Darcy scream] 449 00:21:26,604 --> 00:21:27,895 [both grunting] 450 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:29,521 - [pants] - [groaning] 451 00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:34,104 [screaming, rumbling in distance] 452 00:21:39,396 --> 00:21:42,812 This can't be it, Howard. Can it? 453 00:21:45,312 --> 00:21:46,312 [sighs] 454 00:21:46,979 --> 00:21:48,187 Who can say? 455 00:21:49,437 --> 00:21:52,937 I never would've thunk a life like this could've been written in the stars. 456 00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:55,521 A girl like you... 457 00:21:57,229 --> 00:21:58,687 I mean, a duck like me. 458 00:21:59,354 --> 00:22:02,478 Thank God that bar was offering half-price nachos. 459 00:22:02,479 --> 00:22:05,271 Well, the nachos might've sealed the deal, but... 460 00:22:06,062 --> 00:22:07,062 I always knew. 461 00:22:08,646 --> 00:22:10,562 We were brought together for something more. 462 00:22:13,312 --> 00:22:14,771 I always knew it, too. 463 00:22:15,437 --> 00:22:19,354 [screaming, rumbling continues] 464 00:22:20,771 --> 00:22:23,021 [humming "I Was Made for Lovin' You" by KISS] 465 00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:39,561 ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪ 466 00:22:39,562 --> 00:22:42,520 [all screaming] 467 00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:46,186 ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 468 00:22:46,187 --> 00:22:48,895 ♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪ 469 00:22:48,896 --> 00:22:49,979 Never. 470 00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:56,561 [both singing] ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 471 00:22:56,562 --> 00:22:58,936 ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 472 00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,020 ♪ You know that! ♪ 473 00:23:00,021 --> 00:23:01,186 [pinging] 474 00:23:01,187 --> 00:23:02,271 Uh... 475 00:23:02,896 --> 00:23:03,979 Darce... 476 00:23:13,229 --> 00:23:16,645 - Ah, that power. - So pure. 477 00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:19,645 - It's divine. - So beautiful. 478 00:23:19,646 --> 00:23:22,978 Just as it was written in the stars. 479 00:23:22,979 --> 00:23:24,061 Seize it! 480 00:23:24,062 --> 00:23:26,479 [KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing] 481 00:23:35,104 --> 00:23:36,936 Wow! Darce, look at this. 482 00:23:36,937 --> 00:23:38,895 This kid might have some magic of its own! 483 00:23:38,896 --> 00:23:40,520 Maybe we should keep singing? 484 00:23:40,521 --> 00:23:44,770 ♪ Oh, I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 485 00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:48,353 ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪ 486 00:23:48,354 --> 00:23:52,353 ♪ And I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 487 00:23:52,354 --> 00:23:56,103 ♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪ 488 00:23:56,104 --> 00:23:57,645 [lightning crackles] 489 00:23:57,646 --> 00:23:59,770 - You all right, Coulson? - I'm good, boss. 490 00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:02,354 So, you know, what do you think of the resort? 491 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,854 There's... There's too many of them. 492 00:24:18,354 --> 00:24:21,270 No! There's gotta be somethin' else we can do. 493 00:24:21,271 --> 00:24:22,771 [both groaning, grunting] 494 00:24:33,187 --> 00:24:34,312 Howard, the baby! 495 00:24:42,187 --> 00:24:43,479 [cracking] 496 00:24:44,687 --> 00:24:45,770 [all gasp] 497 00:24:45,771 --> 00:24:47,312 [all screaming] 498 00:24:59,229 --> 00:25:02,812 Okay, okay, this was fun, but I have an orgy to get to. 499 00:25:05,479 --> 00:25:09,854 [all screaming] 500 00:25:46,396 --> 00:25:48,271 [gasps] Um, Howard? 501 00:25:48,812 --> 00:25:53,603 And to think I was worried you wouldn't be able to protect her. 502 00:25:53,604 --> 00:25:57,395 Yeah, yeah. She's a natural-born slugger, just like her old man. 503 00:25:57,396 --> 00:25:59,937 Oh, no need for that. I was wrong. 504 00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:06,187 Power that great is safest with its family. 505 00:26:14,646 --> 00:26:15,896 You guys got this. 506 00:26:16,437 --> 00:26:17,437 Fury out! 507 00:26:21,812 --> 00:26:23,854 Hi, guys. Hi, hi. 508 00:26:24,729 --> 00:26:28,770 Listen, I've talked it over with my father and to make amends... 509 00:26:28,771 --> 00:26:32,978 We'd like to comp you a room at the lodge. And... 510 00:26:32,979 --> 00:26:36,604 Honestly, it's the least we could do. Really, my friends. We insist. 511 00:26:37,562 --> 00:26:38,854 Full minibar. 512 00:26:39,479 --> 00:26:40,479 Mm. 513 00:26:41,354 --> 00:26:42,562 What do you think, babe? 514 00:26:43,729 --> 00:26:45,812 Never been one to turn down a free trip, 515 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,937 but there's only one place in the world I wanna be. 516 00:26:52,479 --> 00:26:57,146 [The Watcher] Even in an endless universe, there's no place like home. 517 00:26:58,312 --> 00:27:03,146 And parents are the greatest heroes of all. 518 00:27:10,187 --> 00:27:14,437 Aw. Our little Byrdie. She's perfect. 519 00:27:15,021 --> 00:27:16,646 Yeah. She is, isn't she? 520 00:27:18,062 --> 00:27:19,687 All right, like we rehearsed. 521 00:27:20,521 --> 00:27:21,603 Step... 522 00:27:21,604 --> 00:27:25,603 - Step. And step. And step. - Step. And step. And step. 523 00:27:25,604 --> 00:27:26,896 - You get the door. - Fine. 524 00:27:32,146 --> 00:27:33,145 [Byrdie crying] 525 00:27:33,146 --> 00:27:34,770 - No! - Oh, God. Did you do the bottle? 526 00:27:34,771 --> 00:27:37,061 - You're supposed to do the bottle. - No, the bottle's fine, Howard. 527 00:27:37,062 --> 00:27:39,270 No, it's way too hot. You can't give a bottle that hot. 528 00:27:39,271 --> 00:27:40,895 It's the blanket. She hates the color! 529 00:27:40,896 --> 00:27:42,270 Why'd we get her this color? 530 00:27:42,271 --> 00:27:45,354 [♪ pleasant instrumental music playing] 531 00:28:26,312 --> 00:28:29,312 [theme music playing] 532 00:28:29,312 --> 00:28:34,312 DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV 533 00:28:29,312 --> 00:28:39,312 For latest movies and series with subtitles Visit WWW.AWAFIM.TV Today 38624

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