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DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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Congratulations.
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[Howard the Duck] Oh, my God!
Darce, I'm kvelling.
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I am positively kvelling right now.
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- It looks just like me.
- [Howard the Duck] Hey! Look over here.
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00:00:17,354 --> 00:00:18,645
- Let me just get your eyes.
- No.
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- I wanna get the light on your eyes.
- Nine hours of labor.
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00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,811
- It's so cinematic.
- I'm covered in sweat.
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00:00:22,812 --> 00:00:24,228
- This is not a good look.
- [nurse] Oh.
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00:00:24,229 --> 00:00:26,520
- Would you like me to hold the camera?
- Oh, that's perfect.
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00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:28,353
Make sure you frame
all three of us, please?
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00:00:28,354 --> 00:00:31,061
- Howard, it's our baby.
- [laughs]
13
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Or it will be, right?
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When do you think
this thing is gonna hatch?
15
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I don't know.
It's gonna hatch in... you know, uh...
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00:00:38,312 --> 00:00:39,646
whatever the normal...
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00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:45,103
[The Watcher] In an instant, Howard
and Darcy The Duck's whole world changed.
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00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:46,186
Little did they know
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00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:49,312
their child was destined
to change everyone else's too.
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{\an8}[The Watcher] Time.
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{\an8}Space.
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{\an8}Reality.
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00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:05,271
{\an8}It's more than a linear path.
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{\an8}It's a prism of endless possibility,
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{\an8}where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
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00:01:23,396 --> 00:01:26,146
{\an8}creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
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{\an8}I am the Watcher.
28
00:01:33,854 --> 00:01:37,021
{\an8}I am your guide
through these vast new realities.
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{\an8}Follow me and ponder the question...
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{\an8}"What if?"
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{\an8}[KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing]
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[The Watcher] And to think a romance
that could change the world,
33
00:01:54,771 --> 00:01:57,021
{\an8}all began at a party.
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00:01:57,562 --> 00:02:01,811
An intergalactic blowout thrown
by the party prince of Asgard himself...
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Huzzah!
36
00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:05,520
- ...that introduced Earth to the stars...
- [people cheering]
37
00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:08,686
{\an8}-...and Howard The Duck to Darcy Lewis.
- [camera shutter clicking]
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00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:11,603
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-priced nachos?
39
00:02:11,604 --> 00:02:14,646
Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.
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[The Watcher] She was right.
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It was so much more.
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I now pronounce you Darcy, and uh, Duck.
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[The Watcher] But Howard and Darcy's lives
weren't the only ones changed
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00:02:27,979 --> 00:02:29,770
by Thor's Midgard rager.
45
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The party may have ended
but the guests never left,
46
00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:37,187
as the worlds of Earth and the Cosmos
became forever intertwined,
47
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just like Howard and Darcy.
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[Howard the Duck and Darcy singing]
♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
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♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
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♪ You know that! ♪
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♪ I can't get enough of you... ♪
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♪ I can't get enough of you, Egg baby... ♪
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[Mrs. Switzler] Hey, enough! The '80s
called, they want their song back.
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00:02:53,937 --> 00:02:56,145
[laughs] That's so funny.
55
00:02:56,146 --> 00:03:00,603
Or it would be, except for the fact
that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh!
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00:03:00,604 --> 00:03:03,978
Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying
to put the baby to sleep.
57
00:03:03,979 --> 00:03:05,520
[Mrs. Switzler] With what? Torture?
58
00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:08,020
Hey, we worked really hard
on those two-part harmonies!
59
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,436
Okay. And I'm sure the baby loves them.
60
00:03:10,437 --> 00:03:12,104
[gasps] Look, look, look. See...
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00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,437
fast asleep.
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00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:19,853
I don't appreciate how dismissive she is.
63
00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:21,646
[Darcy] Okay, it doesn't matter.
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00:03:23,146 --> 00:03:24,228
[sighs in relief]
65
00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:26,728
Will you look at us... nesting?
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00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:28,395
Well, we are the The Ducks.
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- I guess that tracks.
- [doorbell rings]
68
00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:31,896
- Huh?
- [door opens]
69
00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:34,811
You've been served...
70
00:03:34,812 --> 00:03:35,895
- What?
- What? No.
71
00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:37,270
Those charges were dropped.
72
00:03:37,271 --> 00:03:38,353
With two tickets.
73
00:03:38,354 --> 00:03:42,020
All expenses paid to the Grandmaster's
Grand Cruise Across the Stars.
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- Hello.
- Wait! For us?
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- Targeted advertising.
- Oh.
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00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:48,479
It'll be an experience
you'll never forget.
77
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,895
Ahoy there, Sailors of the Stars.
78
00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:56,061
Time to check your worries at the gate,
and toss those inhibitions overboard
79
00:03:56,062 --> 00:03:58,770
because when you're riding
on the SS Grand Master,
80
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,603
adventure has no boundaries.
81
00:04:01,604 --> 00:04:04,436
[gasps] Howard,
have you seen this itinerary?
82
00:04:04,437 --> 00:04:06,978
Couples cliff diving on Vormir...
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00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:10,478
Oh, yeah, they say you can only
truly appreciate it with someone you love.
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00:04:10,479 --> 00:04:14,020
[gasps] Oh, a lava boat ride
through the canals of Muspelheim.
85
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,561
Wait, you don't think that could, like,
hard-boil our baby or anything, right?
86
00:04:17,562 --> 00:04:20,645
Darce, you heard the lady.
This is a family cruise line.
87
00:04:20,646 --> 00:04:22,353
- They know what they're doing.
- Of course.
88
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Now come on, I wanna hit that buffet
before everyone breathes on it.
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00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:28,186
- [Bifrost whirs]
- Howard, oh, my God! Hold on to the baby.
90
00:04:28,187 --> 00:04:30,186
- The baby, get it.
- [Howard the Duck] All right, I got it.
91
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,270
Whoa! Oh-ho!
92
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,978
- We're floating!
- I see we're lightening up already.
93
00:04:33,979 --> 00:04:36,478
[digital whirring, beeping]
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00:04:36,479 --> 00:04:37,936
I got eyes on the package.
95
00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:40,312
Inform the buyer
we'll intercept it off-world.
96
00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:45,561
- Oh, boy!
- This is very nice.
97
00:04:45,562 --> 00:04:47,728
This is just too much. Look at us.
98
00:04:47,729 --> 00:04:49,936
- I know. Look at us.
- Lei for your neck.
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00:04:49,937 --> 00:04:52,478
Welcome cocktail to lower inhibitions.
100
00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:55,478
Darcy, check out these leis.
They're not even plastic.
101
00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:56,978
That is a classy touch.
102
00:04:56,979 --> 00:05:00,145
Ooh, and this welcome drink.
It tastes like a warm hug,
103
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:02,020
and vodka, mostly vodka.
104
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:03,811
- Here. Have another.
- Have another.
105
00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:06,020
- [laughs]
- Okay. That's not--
106
00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,270
[Grandmaster] Please, I insist.
107
00:05:08,271 --> 00:05:10,561
On the SS Grand Master,
it's not a bad decision
108
00:05:10,562 --> 00:05:13,645
- if you don't remember it.
- Oh, my God! Howard! It's the guy.
109
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,270
- I gotta fight this guy?
- No, no, no.
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00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:16,853
- DJ Foam.
- DJ Foam!
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00:05:16,854 --> 00:05:18,311
- Yeah.
- The Grandmaster.
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00:05:18,312 --> 00:05:19,436
[speaking French]
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00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:21,936
Bowing is optional.
I'm not that big of a deal.
114
00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:24,645
- I take that back. I am a big deal.
- [laughs] Hey!
115
00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:27,603
Really, we cannot thank you enough
for these tickets.
116
00:05:27,604 --> 00:05:31,145
Ah, for you crazy kids?
Nothing I love more than a wholesome--
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00:05:31,146 --> 00:05:34,020
- Oh! Oh!
- [Darcy] Uh...
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This must be the adorable little reason
we're all here today.
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00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:40,561
Now, look at this.
120
00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:43,436
Now, what you have here
is the Galaxy's finest selection
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00:05:43,437 --> 00:05:47,936
of sitters, swaddlers, sleep trainers,
nannies, au pairs, governesses, plus...
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00:05:47,937 --> 00:05:50,270
Topaz here is actually
an excellent wet nurse.
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00:05:50,271 --> 00:05:51,353
That part's extra.
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00:05:51,354 --> 00:05:52,645
All at your disposal.
125
00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:56,436
So you two can enjoy
some much-deserved mommy and daddy time.
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00:05:56,437 --> 00:05:57,521
[both] Uh...
127
00:05:58,604 --> 00:06:00,479
I mean, he doesn't not have a point.
128
00:06:00,646 --> 00:06:01,646
Mmm.
129
00:06:03,479 --> 00:06:05,061
[sighs] Wow!
130
00:06:05,062 --> 00:06:06,228
First-time parents?
131
00:06:06,229 --> 00:06:08,271
Mm-hmm. Yep. Our first one.
132
00:06:09,271 --> 00:06:10,437
Yeah, I can tell.
133
00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:15,186
[Topaz] The Grandmaster's Grand
Welcome Brunch will begin shortly.
134
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The "Grand" part wasn't false advertising,
I'll give him that. This is quite grand.
135
00:06:19,687 --> 00:06:25,436
Now, of course, our guests of honor
have a special seat reserved for them
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00:06:25,437 --> 00:06:27,311
at the head of the table.
137
00:06:27,312 --> 00:06:28,395
[both] Oh!
138
00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:30,186
- Well, that's nice.
- Very fancy.
139
00:06:30,187 --> 00:06:32,228
- The chair is well-padded.
- Ahem, ahem!
140
00:06:32,229 --> 00:06:36,604
Diners and dinettes,
gather in, settle down.
141
00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:38,478
- Hmm.
- [whirs]
142
00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:42,062
And, uh, most importantly, raise a glass.
143
00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:45,103
Hope you all came hungry,
because once you get a taste...
144
00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,646
Quite the hoopla just for breakfast, huh?
145
00:06:48,604 --> 00:06:51,770
Hey! Hey, Howard, Howard,
I can't make heads or tails of this menu.
146
00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:53,686
- You speak, uh, hoity-toity?
- I do not.
147
00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:55,645
But my phone does. [chuckles]
148
00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:57,061
Yeah, let's see what we got.
149
00:06:57,062 --> 00:06:59,645
Here we go. "The Grandmaster invites you
150
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{\an8}"to feast on Howard and Darcy The Duck."
151
00:07:02,562 --> 00:07:03,646
Wait! What?
152
00:07:04,229 --> 00:07:06,353
Wait, wait, wait. It's "feast your eyes."
153
00:07:06,354 --> 00:07:08,520
"Feast your eyes."
Okay, I guess that's nice.
154
00:07:08,521 --> 00:07:10,895
- [♪ upbeat disco music playing]
- [Grandmaster] Ah...
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00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:13,603
Uh, today's special
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00:07:13,604 --> 00:07:18,395
is an entrée, uh-huh, like no other.
157
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,020
Born of two worlds...
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Born of two worlds?
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...a true cosmic wonder.
160
00:07:25,437 --> 00:07:27,728
[explosion]
161
00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:29,478
- [Darcy] Uh, Howard...
- Wait, it says,
162
00:07:29,479 --> 00:07:32,270
{\an8}"To feast your eyes on Howard
and Darcy The Duck's
163
00:07:32,271 --> 00:07:33,520
{\an8}- "homemade..."
- Howard!
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00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,895
Oh, no, is this supposed to be a potluck?
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00:07:35,896 --> 00:07:37,354
[flames crackling]
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00:07:37,479 --> 00:07:38,520
[Darcy] Howard!
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00:07:38,521 --> 00:07:40,561
- Look at the baby!
- Yep. Hold on.
168
00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:41,645
[digital beeps]
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[gasps] Darce, they wanna eat the baby!
170
00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:46,521
No, duh, Howard,
we've got a Hannibal Lecter situation!
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00:07:47,896 --> 00:07:52,311
Oh, let the brunch begi-- [groans]
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00:07:52,312 --> 00:07:54,895
- [laughs]
- [thuds]
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00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:58,811
What? Oh, my gosh!
Captain Mohawk saved our baby!
174
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,811
Sorry to spoil y'all's breakfast, folks.
[whistles]
175
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:05,229
But I was hopin' to grab
a little somethin' to go. Ta-ta!
176
00:08:05,729 --> 00:08:08,353
Oh, my gosh!
Captain Mohawk stole our baby!
177
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:11,103
No, no, no! Hey, Space Pirates!
178
00:08:11,104 --> 00:08:13,021
[Darcy] What're you waiting for?
Come on, Duck!
179
00:08:15,312 --> 00:08:17,146
Coast clear, let's get to the life rafts!
180
00:08:18,104 --> 00:08:19,478
All right, here we go!
181
00:08:19,479 --> 00:08:21,103
Howard, are you sure you can fly this?
182
00:08:21,104 --> 00:08:23,853
Are you kidding? I'm a duck.
I was born to fly. Strap in.
183
00:08:23,854 --> 00:08:26,811
- [Darcy grunts]
- [metal clanging]
184
00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,187
[Darcy] Oh, move over!
185
00:08:31,521 --> 00:08:33,811
[Howard the Duck] Faster, baby! Faster!
We almost got him!
186
00:08:33,812 --> 00:08:36,061
Aah, come on, get it together, Darcy.
187
00:08:36,062 --> 00:08:37,811
This is just like Galaga.
188
00:08:37,812 --> 00:08:39,521
[both screaming]
189
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,562
[Darcy] Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
190
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:48,061
- What?
- Aah!
191
00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:50,395
- It just-- It just disappear--
- But they were right...
192
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:54,646
I don't know what we were thinking.
Nothing good ever happens on a cruise!
193
00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:57,104
- [sighs]
- I'm sorry.
194
00:08:58,312 --> 00:08:59,312
This was a mistake.
195
00:08:59,812 --> 00:09:02,229
Our baby is... gone.
196
00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:04,103
[sighs wearily]
197
00:09:04,104 --> 00:09:05,562
We had one job.
198
00:09:06,521 --> 00:09:07,604
And we failed.
199
00:09:09,104 --> 00:09:10,811
What? What are you doing?
200
00:09:10,812 --> 00:09:13,562
Calling the fuzz!
Clearly, we can't do this on our own!
201
00:09:16,604 --> 00:09:18,603
Um, it's about the Convergence case, sir.
202
00:09:18,604 --> 00:09:20,686
This couple could be the lead
we've been waiting for.
203
00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,061
And what did you say their name was?
204
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,645
- That would be the The Ducks, sir.
- Huh?
205
00:09:24,646 --> 00:09:26,811
[Darcy] What the hell
is going on, Director?
206
00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:28,895
First the Grandmaster, now the Ravagers?
207
00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:31,186
Why are all these people after our baby?
208
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:33,936
I assure you, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck,
209
00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:37,811
recovering your egg has become
S.H.I.E.L.D.'s priority number one.
210
00:09:37,812 --> 00:09:40,936
Oh, yeah? You and everyone else
in the galaxy, apparently.
211
00:09:40,937 --> 00:09:43,311
What the hell is so special
about our kid, anyway?
212
00:09:43,312 --> 00:09:44,395
- [gasps] Howard!
- Ow!
213
00:09:44,396 --> 00:09:46,686
I mean, besides the fact
that they're our kid.
214
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,728
What do you know
about the Cosmic Convergence?
215
00:09:49,729 --> 00:09:51,645
Wait. The Convergence?
216
00:09:51,646 --> 00:09:54,020
- Wasn't that on my due date?
- Exactly.
217
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:58,020
And many believe
the planetary alignment was a sign.
218
00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,061
The birth of a great new power.
219
00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:02,561
You think it's our child?
220
00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:04,103
I guess, deep down, I always knew
221
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,436
our little champ
was destined for big things.
222
00:10:06,437 --> 00:10:08,354
[Coulson] Uh, a word, sir.
223
00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:10,979
[murmuring]
224
00:10:14,562 --> 00:10:16,853
...our satellites picked up
a Ravager ship making the jump
225
00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:18,228
out of the Cat's Eye Nebula.
226
00:10:18,229 --> 00:10:20,561
It could indicate
they're meeting with The Collector.
227
00:10:20,562 --> 00:10:21,646
Hm.
228
00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:25,979
Best you leave this with the experts,
Mr. and Mrs... The Duck.
229
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:31,521
We'll see to it your Egg stays
out of the wrong hands.
230
00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:33,146
Fury out!
231
00:10:33,646 --> 00:10:35,561
Screw this!
Well, I'm not waiting for the five-oh.
232
00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,561
If the Ravagers are workin'
for The Collector,
233
00:10:37,562 --> 00:10:38,978
then we know where they're headed.
234
00:10:38,979 --> 00:10:40,270
- Where?
- Knowhere.
235
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,561
- What?
- Knowhere.
236
00:10:41,562 --> 00:10:43,603
Well, they've gotta be going somewhere.
237
00:10:43,604 --> 00:10:44,811
Knowhere.
238
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,145
- Howard?
- Knowhere.
239
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,437
Where are they going?
240
00:10:57,854 --> 00:10:59,603
Milord Yondu Udonta,
241
00:10:59,604 --> 00:11:05,520
I present to you, Kaecilius,
Master of the Dark Arts.
242
00:11:05,521 --> 00:11:09,520
Only in silence
can you hear the whispers from the Dark.
243
00:11:09,521 --> 00:11:10,895
[Yondu] Oh-ho! Whoa!
244
00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:12,686
What happened to The Collector?
245
00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:15,186
He's been... collected.
246
00:11:15,187 --> 00:11:17,395
Trapped inside the Mirror Dimension.
247
00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:19,978
But we knew the most powerful relics
in the Cosmos
248
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:23,770
always seem
to find their way here... eventually.
249
00:11:23,771 --> 00:11:26,395
Listen, man. Word on the street here
250
00:11:26,396 --> 00:11:29,436
is that this egg
is a pretty hot damn commodity.
251
00:11:29,437 --> 00:11:34,228
I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves
and an Olympic God.
252
00:11:34,229 --> 00:11:37,771
You get what I'm sayin'?
So, our price just went up.
253
00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:39,561
I'm sorry, Captain,
254
00:11:39,562 --> 00:11:41,812
but Dormammu does not come to bargain.
255
00:11:42,312 --> 00:11:44,521
[Carina chanting magic incantation]
256
00:11:45,312 --> 00:11:47,936
[chanting magic incantation]
257
00:11:47,937 --> 00:11:49,270
[Yondu screams]
258
00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:51,604
[people continue chanting]
259
00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,936
[Howard the Duck] Jeez, easy, Darce.
The wall, the wall.
260
00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:56,395
- [Darcy] It's fine!
- Oh, oh!
261
00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:57,478
[Darcy] Quiet, Howard!
262
00:11:57,479 --> 00:11:59,186
You know I can't park
when someone is watching!
263
00:11:59,187 --> 00:12:00,312
I'm lookin' away.
264
00:12:03,562 --> 00:12:04,687
That was great, babe. Wow.
265
00:12:05,396 --> 00:12:06,395
[Darcy groans]
266
00:12:06,396 --> 00:12:10,645
Whoa, can't believe you escaped
through the sewage tunnels.
267
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:11,728
[groans]
268
00:12:11,729 --> 00:12:14,145
You won't even use a public restroom.
269
00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:16,311
I'm not proud of it.
I did what I had to do.
270
00:12:16,312 --> 00:12:19,021
- Shh! Howard, I hear something creepy.
- [indistinct chanting]
271
00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:20,771
Do you hear that?
272
00:12:31,896 --> 00:12:33,687
- Yeah, it's very creepy.
- It's very creepy!
273
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,187
[all chanting]
274
00:12:43,271 --> 00:12:44,687
- [Darcy] Howard!
- [quacks]
275
00:12:46,854 --> 00:12:48,937
[chanting in unison]
276
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,479
What in the name of Eyes Wide Shut!
277
00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:55,229
[both mumbling]
278
00:12:55,521 --> 00:12:56,895
- ...Dormammu.
- ...Dormammu.
279
00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:58,687
- Yeah, that is right.
- Crushin' it.
280
00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:05,061
[gasps] That's our baby!
281
00:13:05,062 --> 00:13:07,354
Oh, no! There's gotta be
something we can do!
282
00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:17,853
So, uh, excuse me.
What's the deal with the magic act?
283
00:13:17,854 --> 00:13:20,978
We know. Obviously.
We just wanna hear it in your words.
284
00:13:20,979 --> 00:13:24,811
Quiet! The "ensoulment" is about to begin.
285
00:13:24,812 --> 00:13:26,604
- Ensoulment?
- Ensoulment?
286
00:13:28,604 --> 00:13:34,479
Behold, our Dark Master, Dormammu!
287
00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:41,145
[chanting]
288
00:13:41,146 --> 00:13:44,104
Dormammu, we present to you an offering.
289
00:13:44,646 --> 00:13:47,561
A powerful vessel to serve
as your host body,
290
00:13:47,562 --> 00:13:50,145
from which you will be born anew.
291
00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,228
Howard! I think
292
00:13:51,229 --> 00:13:54,520
they're tryna Rosemary's Baby
this Dormammu guy into our baby!
293
00:13:54,521 --> 00:13:55,936
No. No. No.
294
00:13:55,937 --> 00:13:57,104
[hissing]
295
00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,353
Did I get it?
296
00:13:59,354 --> 00:14:01,270
- What the...
- What? No!
297
00:14:01,271 --> 00:14:04,104
[all clamoring]
298
00:14:06,229 --> 00:14:07,936
S.H.I.E.L.D.! Nobody move!
299
00:14:07,937 --> 00:14:10,103
I didn't do it! I'm innocent, I tell you!
300
00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:12,353
Relax, Howard.
He's not here for us, remember?
301
00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:14,771
Right. Right. It's just a force of habit.
302
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,270
[officer] Hands out of your robes, now!
303
00:14:17,271 --> 00:14:21,896
You are in possession of
unauthorized level 11 cosmic contraband.
304
00:14:22,479 --> 00:14:25,520
I would suggest you stand down, Director.
305
00:14:25,521 --> 00:14:28,686
You've no idea what you've found yourself
in the middle of.
306
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:32,603
I understand enough to know
that the galaxy will be safest
307
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,395
with that Egg in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands.
308
00:14:34,396 --> 00:14:36,520
[Howard the Duck]
Uh, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands?
309
00:14:36,521 --> 00:14:39,103
[Darcy] [laughs] Thanks,
but no thanks, my dude.
310
00:14:39,104 --> 00:14:42,395
Yeah. Look, Your Honor,
I appreciate the search and rescue,
311
00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:45,061
but I don't think
we're in the market for childcare.
312
00:14:45,062 --> 00:14:46,436
Who the hell are these two?
313
00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:47,936
[quacks] We're the parents.
314
00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:50,103
I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. The Duck,
315
00:14:50,104 --> 00:14:53,145
but S.H.I.E.L.D. can't entrust
a being this powerful
316
00:14:53,146 --> 00:14:55,603
to a first-time mom and a gambling addict.
317
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,228
- Hey!
- Recovering gambling addict, thank you!
318
00:14:58,229 --> 00:15:00,270
I got the chip. That's the wrong chip.
319
00:15:00,271 --> 00:15:02,021
Coulson, carton it.
320
00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:12,437
It appears you need some help
reorienting your perspective.
321
00:15:17,104 --> 00:15:18,604
- I don't like it!
- [indistinct shouting]
322
00:15:21,604 --> 00:15:23,146
If that's how it's gonna be...
323
00:15:24,479 --> 00:15:25,812
- [screams]
- [all clamoring]
324
00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:30,770
For Dormam-- [grunts]
325
00:15:30,771 --> 00:15:31,854
Get it, get it!
326
00:15:33,437 --> 00:15:35,646
- Get it! [screams]
- Get it! I got my--
327
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,103
Huh?
328
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,812
- [both sigh]
- All right.
329
00:15:42,104 --> 00:15:43,436
[panting]
330
00:15:43,437 --> 00:15:45,229
Let's go. [pants]
331
00:15:46,687 --> 00:15:47,686
Do you hear that?
332
00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:49,645
- Oh?
- Oh-ho-ho!
333
00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:51,353
Ask and you shall receive.
334
00:15:51,354 --> 00:15:52,561
I didn't hear you ask anyone.
335
00:15:52,562 --> 00:15:55,437
Well, I was askin', babe.
You know, in my head.
336
00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:01,436
Breaking Space News,
Terran defense force, S.H.I.E.L.D.,
337
00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:04,478
has issued an Ivory Alert
for a missing cosmic relic,
338
00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:07,228
last seen leaving Knowhere
in a Sakaaran vessel.
339
00:16:07,229 --> 00:16:11,395
[laughs] Well, look at us,
like an intergalactic Bonnie and Clyde.
340
00:16:11,396 --> 00:16:14,271
Have you seen that movie, Howard?
It does not end great for them.
341
00:16:14,937 --> 00:16:17,187
Look, we need to find someplace
where we can lay low.
342
00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:21,812
Not to worry. I know just the place
where we can chill.
343
00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:26,895
For too long, Jotunheim has been
relegated to the shadows.
344
00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:31,145
But with this,
the Nine Realms will have no choice
345
00:16:31,146 --> 00:16:34,604
but to bear witness
to our glorious purpose.
346
00:16:35,146 --> 00:16:39,978
Right here at the Jotun Slopes
luxury hotel, resort, and casino.
347
00:16:39,979 --> 00:16:42,771
The future of intergalactic winter sports.
348
00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:44,645
That's pretty cool, right?
349
00:16:44,646 --> 00:16:47,770
I mean, my father's not
100% on board just yet,
350
00:16:47,771 --> 00:16:49,978
but, you know, I'm gonna get him there.
351
00:16:49,979 --> 00:16:53,353
Dude, we didn't come here
for a sales pitch. We came for your help.
352
00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:55,728
You know, I thought so,
and let me just cut to the chase.
353
00:16:55,729 --> 00:16:58,478
I can't wait to be your baby's godfather.
354
00:16:58,479 --> 00:17:00,811
I'm so honored. Thank you.
This means the world.
355
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:02,561
- Is this guy serious right now?
- Uh.
356
00:17:02,562 --> 00:17:05,353
[laughs] Listen,
as swell as that offer is...
357
00:17:05,354 --> 00:17:07,311
- Yeah.
- Really, we're very touched.
358
00:17:07,312 --> 00:17:09,436
What we need right now is shelter.
359
00:17:09,437 --> 00:17:12,061
We're kinda on the lam
from a couple of cops.
360
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,936
- And sorcerers.
- Pirates, too.
361
00:17:13,937 --> 00:17:15,478
So, what do you say? Can you help us out?
362
00:17:15,479 --> 00:17:16,561
What're you talking about?
363
00:17:16,562 --> 00:17:19,937
You're my brother from another mother's
old lady's sister from another mister.
364
00:17:20,646 --> 00:17:21,770
Uh...
365
00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:23,436
You're practically family.
366
00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:26,270
[chuckles nervously] Thanks, man.
I mean, it has been a long trip,
367
00:17:26,271 --> 00:17:28,812
and we have not been able
to catch a break.
368
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:35,145
Oh! Is that guests already? Hang on, wait,
our soft opening isn't for a few days.
369
00:17:35,146 --> 00:17:38,104
I don't think they're here for you.
370
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:48,561
Mr. and Mrs. The Duck,
I told you to leave this to us!
371
00:17:48,562 --> 00:17:50,520
Ah, Sir Nicholas Fury!
372
00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:52,062
[chuckles softly] Let's go!
373
00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:56,478
Quickly. Quickly.
374
00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:57,561
Oh, Father!
375
00:17:57,562 --> 00:18:02,811
So much for this grand opening
of yours, my son.
376
00:18:02,812 --> 00:18:05,728
[chuckles] These are my friends.
See them to safety, yes?
377
00:18:05,729 --> 00:18:07,978
Or we can take this...
378
00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:09,603
- Dad! What are you doing?
- No, no, no!
379
00:18:09,604 --> 00:18:13,103
- Give it back.
- And return Jotunheim to its former glory.
380
00:18:13,104 --> 00:18:14,728
No! No return to former glory!
381
00:18:14,729 --> 00:18:16,228
- This is embarrassing!
- S.H.I.E.L.D.!
382
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,311
- Nobody move!
- Dad!
383
00:18:17,312 --> 00:18:18,686
Surrender the artifact!
384
00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:21,186
My brother from another mother
will not look kindly on this.
385
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,103
[thunder rumbling]
386
00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:24,520
See? I told you.
387
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,354
[explosion]
388
00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:34,021
I don't think it's who you think it is.
389
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:37,978
Kneel before Zeus!
390
00:18:37,979 --> 00:18:40,478
Oh, good, you're already kneeling.
391
00:18:40,479 --> 00:18:43,228
Now, where is this Egg
I saw written in the stars?
392
00:18:43,229 --> 00:18:45,728
Okay, cool.
Well, we're heading south for the winter.
393
00:18:45,729 --> 00:18:47,353
Never been much of a snowbird anyway.
394
00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:48,979
- Darce, let's get outta here.
- Come on!
395
00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:51,520
Hey, what do I got?
396
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:54,936
Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt!
Thunderbolt, thunderbolt!
397
00:18:54,937 --> 00:18:56,228
That guy shocked me!
398
00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:57,729
I'm comin' back for you, buddy!
399
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,270
Darce!
400
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:03,770
Hark, the child born under the stars
of the Convergence is ours to take.
401
00:19:03,771 --> 00:19:09,811
And with it, we shall finally plunge
the Nine Realms into eternal darkness.
402
00:19:09,812 --> 00:19:12,311
Get out of my way!
I am a Master of the Dark Arts!
403
00:19:12,312 --> 00:19:14,811
I'm a Dark Elf.
It's in the name, you dimwit!
404
00:19:14,812 --> 00:19:16,312
- Heretic!
- Thunderbolt!
405
00:19:16,896 --> 00:19:17,978
Hey!
406
00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:20,103
Hear me and rejoice.
407
00:19:20,104 --> 00:19:23,311
Oh, no! You're not getting your mitts
on our magical kid!
408
00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:25,311
What? No.
We're just here for a company retreat.
409
00:19:25,312 --> 00:19:26,770
- We have a Groupon.
- Okay.
410
00:19:26,771 --> 00:19:30,645
Uh, wait. Did you say "magical kid"?
411
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:33,020
- [scoffs] Howard!
- Sorry!
412
00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:35,353
We might want to call this one in.
413
00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:36,895
Thunderbolt for you!
414
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,604
[all grunt]
415
00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:42,771
Get up, no, no...
416
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,187
Mama's got you, Junior!
417
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:52,311
[Grandmaster] My fabulous Egg.
418
00:19:52,312 --> 00:19:54,311
- DJ Foam?
- The omelet man!
419
00:19:54,312 --> 00:19:56,312
We meet again. What're the odds?
420
00:19:56,854 --> 00:19:59,812
No, seriously, I'm asking you,
what are the odds?
421
00:20:00,396 --> 00:20:02,979
- No, no, no. Howard!
- Oh, no!
422
00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:06,478
- Oh, no, no, no!
- No, no, no!
423
00:20:06,479 --> 00:20:08,479
Oh, come to Papa.
424
00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:14,770
- Sparkles! Huh?
- Oh, no, we're going down. Abandon ship.
425
00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:16,771
- [explosion]
- [Grandmaster laughs]
426
00:20:17,521 --> 00:20:18,728
No, no, no! Howard!
427
00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:21,561
Excuse me. Just makin' my way.
Daddy's got you, baby.
428
00:20:21,562 --> 00:20:22,728
[all clamoring]
429
00:20:22,729 --> 00:20:24,311
Faster, Howard, faster!
430
00:20:24,312 --> 00:20:25,979
I'm running as fast as I can!
431
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:31,061
The Stones? Is this about the Stones?
432
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,812
Have you found them? Where are they?
433
00:20:34,396 --> 00:20:37,895
An egg? You called me for an egg?
434
00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:39,687
It's magical?
435
00:20:42,562 --> 00:20:44,811
[all screaming]
436
00:20:44,812 --> 00:20:46,061
Yello.
437
00:20:46,062 --> 00:20:48,062
Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
438
00:20:49,604 --> 00:20:50,603
[groans]
439
00:20:50,604 --> 00:20:52,436
- Oh. Whoa.
- Come on, Duck!
440
00:20:52,437 --> 00:20:53,604
[Howard the Duck screams]
441
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:55,771
No!
442
00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:59,311
Yeah! Yodelheim rules!
443
00:20:59,312 --> 00:21:02,604
Yeah! The The Ducks can't be stopped!
444
00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:06,812
- No!
- Hold up.
445
00:21:08,396 --> 00:21:09,604
[Howard the Duck, Darcy scream]
446
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,979
And there goes your trust fund.
447
00:21:16,062 --> 00:21:17,061
All of it?
448
00:21:17,062 --> 00:21:19,146
[Howard the Duck, Darcy scream]
449
00:21:26,604 --> 00:21:27,895
[both grunting]
450
00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:29,521
- [pants]
- [groaning]
451
00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:34,104
[screaming, rumbling in distance]
452
00:21:39,396 --> 00:21:42,812
This can't be it, Howard. Can it?
453
00:21:45,312 --> 00:21:46,312
[sighs]
454
00:21:46,979 --> 00:21:48,187
Who can say?
455
00:21:49,437 --> 00:21:52,937
I never would've thunk a life like this
could've been written in the stars.
456
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:55,521
A girl like you...
457
00:21:57,229 --> 00:21:58,687
I mean, a duck like me.
458
00:21:59,354 --> 00:22:02,478
Thank God that bar was offering
half-price nachos.
459
00:22:02,479 --> 00:22:05,271
Well, the nachos
might've sealed the deal, but...
460
00:22:06,062 --> 00:22:07,062
I always knew.
461
00:22:08,646 --> 00:22:10,562
We were brought together
for something more.
462
00:22:13,312 --> 00:22:14,771
I always knew it, too.
463
00:22:15,437 --> 00:22:19,354
[screaming, rumbling continues]
464
00:22:20,771 --> 00:22:23,021
[humming "I Was Made for Lovin' You"
by KISS]
465
00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:39,561
♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
466
00:22:39,562 --> 00:22:42,520
[all screaming]
467
00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:46,186
♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪
468
00:22:46,187 --> 00:22:48,895
♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪
469
00:22:48,896 --> 00:22:49,979
Never.
470
00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:56,561
[both singing]
♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
471
00:22:56,562 --> 00:22:58,936
♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
472
00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,020
♪ You know that! ♪
473
00:23:00,021 --> 00:23:01,186
[pinging]
474
00:23:01,187 --> 00:23:02,271
Uh...
475
00:23:02,896 --> 00:23:03,979
Darce...
476
00:23:13,229 --> 00:23:16,645
- Ah, that power.
- So pure.
477
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:19,645
- It's divine.
- So beautiful.
478
00:23:19,646 --> 00:23:22,978
Just as it was written in the stars.
479
00:23:22,979 --> 00:23:24,061
Seize it!
480
00:23:24,062 --> 00:23:26,479
[KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing]
481
00:23:35,104 --> 00:23:36,936
Wow! Darce, look at this.
482
00:23:36,937 --> 00:23:38,895
This kid might have some magic of its own!
483
00:23:38,896 --> 00:23:40,520
Maybe we should keep singing?
484
00:23:40,521 --> 00:23:44,770
♪ Oh, I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
485
00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:48,353
♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
486
00:23:48,354 --> 00:23:52,353
♪ And I can't get enough of you, baby ♪
487
00:23:52,354 --> 00:23:56,103
♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪
488
00:23:56,104 --> 00:23:57,645
[lightning crackles]
489
00:23:57,646 --> 00:23:59,770
- You all right, Coulson?
- I'm good, boss.
490
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:02,354
So, you know,
what do you think of the resort?
491
00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,854
There's... There's too many of them.
492
00:24:18,354 --> 00:24:21,270
No! There's gotta be
somethin' else we can do.
493
00:24:21,271 --> 00:24:22,771
[both groaning, grunting]
494
00:24:33,187 --> 00:24:34,312
Howard, the baby!
495
00:24:42,187 --> 00:24:43,479
[cracking]
496
00:24:44,687 --> 00:24:45,770
[all gasp]
497
00:24:45,771 --> 00:24:47,312
[all screaming]
498
00:24:59,229 --> 00:25:02,812
Okay, okay, this was fun,
but I have an orgy to get to.
499
00:25:05,479 --> 00:25:09,854
[all screaming]
500
00:25:46,396 --> 00:25:48,271
[gasps] Um, Howard?
501
00:25:48,812 --> 00:25:53,603
And to think I was worried
you wouldn't be able to protect her.
502
00:25:53,604 --> 00:25:57,395
Yeah, yeah. She's a natural-born slugger,
just like her old man.
503
00:25:57,396 --> 00:25:59,937
Oh, no need for that. I was wrong.
504
00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:06,187
Power that great
is safest with its family.
505
00:26:14,646 --> 00:26:15,896
You guys got this.
506
00:26:16,437 --> 00:26:17,437
Fury out!
507
00:26:21,812 --> 00:26:23,854
Hi, guys. Hi, hi.
508
00:26:24,729 --> 00:26:28,770
Listen, I've talked it over with my father
and to make amends...
509
00:26:28,771 --> 00:26:32,978
We'd like to comp you
a room at the lodge. And...
510
00:26:32,979 --> 00:26:36,604
Honestly, it's the least we could do.
Really, my friends. We insist.
511
00:26:37,562 --> 00:26:38,854
Full minibar.
512
00:26:39,479 --> 00:26:40,479
Mm.
513
00:26:41,354 --> 00:26:42,562
What do you think, babe?
514
00:26:43,729 --> 00:26:45,812
Never been one to turn down a free trip,
515
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,937
but there's only one place in the world
I wanna be.
516
00:26:52,479 --> 00:26:57,146
[The Watcher] Even in an endless universe,
there's no place like home.
517
00:26:58,312 --> 00:27:03,146
And parents
are the greatest heroes of all.
518
00:27:10,187 --> 00:27:14,437
Aw. Our little Byrdie. She's perfect.
519
00:27:15,021 --> 00:27:16,646
Yeah. She is, isn't she?
520
00:27:18,062 --> 00:27:19,687
All right, like we rehearsed.
521
00:27:20,521 --> 00:27:21,603
Step...
522
00:27:21,604 --> 00:27:25,603
- Step. And step. And step.
- Step. And step. And step.
523
00:27:25,604 --> 00:27:26,896
- You get the door.
- Fine.
524
00:27:32,146 --> 00:27:33,145
[Byrdie crying]
525
00:27:33,146 --> 00:27:34,770
- No!
- Oh, God. Did you do the bottle?
526
00:27:34,771 --> 00:27:37,061
- You're supposed to do the bottle.
- No, the bottle's fine, Howard.
527
00:27:37,062 --> 00:27:39,270
No, it's way too hot.
You can't give a bottle that hot.
528
00:27:39,271 --> 00:27:40,895
It's the blanket. She hates the color!
529
00:27:40,896 --> 00:27:42,270
Why'd we get her this color?
530
00:27:42,271 --> 00:27:45,354
[♪ pleasant instrumental music playing]
531
00:28:26,312 --> 00:28:29,312
[theme music playing]
532
00:28:29,312 --> 00:28:34,312
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533
00:28:29,312 --> 00:28:39,312
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