All language subtitles for Doc MARTIN S10E05 Fly Me To The Moon

And then there was Dan, he worked
at the Pickled Liver in Truro.

Went to see his doctor for a niggle.
Three months later, dead.

- Keep still. Stop talking.
- And my cousin, Jago.

He popped into hospital
for a routine operation

and never came out again.

What was the operation?

Oh, they wanted to remove
half his bladder.

Well, that's not routine, is it?

The point is, you can't blame me
for not wanting to see a doctor.

Yes, I can.

- You're very rude.
- No, I'm not.

You have keratitis.

There's a dendritic ulcer in your
eye caused by the herpes simplex.

- What are you insinuating?
- I wasn't insinuating anything.

About 60% of the adult population

carry the herpes simplex
in their bodies,

usually caused by having a cold sore
at some point in their life.

Well, feels fine now.

There's a local anaesthetic
in those drops.

Once that wears off,
it'll start hurting again.

Well, so, prescribe me some medicine
and I'll be on my way.

Yes.

I'll maybe come back another time, then.

No. Hang on a minute.

Wait.

Mr Herpes, you forgot your prescription.

Yes.

Somebody left a kidney in my desk.
Do you know anything about that?

Ruth brought a bag in, first thing.
She said you'd be fine with it.

Well, I'm not.

In future, if anybody asks
to leave bloodied organs

in my consulting room, say no.
Next patient.

Jean Simmonds.

Go through.

Come on.

It's a repeat for my oral anticoagulant.

Yes, I know.

Any new travel plans?

Well, I'm thinking
of getting a world map,

throwing a dart at it
and just going wherever it lands.

What if it lands in the ocean?

No, sorry, we're closed for lunch.

It's not lunch, Sally,
and you are clearly open.

You have got a nerve
showing your face round here again.

I wasn't expecting a warm welcome,
and so far, I'm not disappointed.

- Have you been up to see Louisa yet?
- No.

I wanted to, but, er,
I keep putting it off.

It's a classic case of...
what's the word?

Avoidance?

That's the one, yes.

This is Ruth Ellingham.
She's a forensic psychiatrist.

This is Terry Glasson.

Oh, you're Louisa's father.

- And you're Martin's... sister?
- Aunt.

That means we're family, then.

That'll be £4.95, and
I need to see the money first.

- There you are.
- Thank you.

Does Louisa know you're here?

- It'll be a nice surprise.
- Here you go.

This is for you.

- Mr Banks.
- On you go, Robin.

Come through.

OK, duck. That's it.

Keep going.

Can I help you?

I'm here to see Louisa Ellingham.

Right, do you have an appointment?

Oh, she's a doctor now?

Child counsellor.

- Sorry, who are you?
- I'm her father.

I'll go through to the kitchen and wait.

- I should probably check...
- Actually, cup of tea, no sugar,

when you have a moment. Thanks.

Dad?

Dad!

I'm dreading asking...

Site-blended whisky,
distilled on the grounds.

Exploit a captive audience
by selling to the guests.

Why don't you just concentrate
on getting the site right first?

The site is fine.

It needs a tidy up, there are
caravans that need repainting,

the back fence, it's broken...

You're missing the bigger picture, boy.

You don't have that
entrepreneurial vision.

If it wasn't for me,
you wouldn't have this place.

I'm the one paying for the lease,
you know?

- Are you the manager?
- Yes, of course. Is there a problem?

My son here is the main leaseholder.

No, I'm interested
in buying that old caravan.

- Which one?
- That one.

Er... how much?

Oh, it's pretty run down, so...
500 quid?

That sounds fair.

Yes, except that that model there
is a bit of a classic.

You can't blame a man for trying.
I know my caravans, don't I, boy?

He's a fountain of knowledge, yes.

One of those went for auction
in Exeter recently for 4,000.

Now, I'd be willing to match that.

Well... I think
that we can accept your offer.

- I'll need a deposit, though.
- Very well.

I'm leaving the day after tomorrow.

Can you have it cleaned
and ready by then?

- No problem.
- Great.

Chicken, will you be quiet?!

- Hello, love.
- What are you doing here?

How... Who let you in?

I came round the front. I spoke
to your receptionist, lovely girl,

although she did say
she'd bring me a cup of tea, and...

When did you get released?

I mean,
you DID get released, didn't you?

Don't worry, I did.
I've got the papers to prove it.

Well, erm... I'm with a client,

so I was just getting them
a glass of water.

- I'll be another 15 minutes?
- No rush.

All the time in the world.

Chicken?

- Erm, I'm with a patient.
- I know. I'm sorry...

Keep your head still.

Yes?

- Martin!
- What is it? Oh, sorry.

My father's here.

- What do you mean?
- In the kitchen.

- Is he on his own?
- Think so.

Do you want me to call the police?

No, apparently,
he's been released from prison.

I just wanted to warn you.

But don't worry,
Mary's still out with Janice.

- Right.
- I better get back to my client.

Yes.

- Sorry, I moved my head.
- Right. Stop talking.

This is all about having that mindset.

You see the deal, and you take it.

Well, you know
it's not actually your van.

You're just the leaseholder.

Minor details. I'll stick
another old banger in there,

no-one'll know the difference.

- There's someone in there.
- What?

There's someone in there.

- Oi, this is private property.
- Yes, this is my private property.

- What you doing in there?
- None of your business.

- What do you want?
- Look, you'll have to go.

I've already sold this van.

It's not yours to sell. It's my home.

I've been here since long before
you lot took over. Now, sod off!

Did you know about him
when you bought the lease?

- Dad, of course not.
- Now, what are we gonna do about him?

You mean, what are YOU gonna do?
Cos this is site business.

- Hey...
- No.

- 'Ere.
- No.

What time's my next patient?

Not for another 15 minutes.

- Oh, good.
- Slow down!

If we go any slower,
we won't be moving at all.

Doc, have you got time
to examine my idiot brother?

Yes. Go through.

I injured it at work. Twisted me knee.

You weren't at work, you were
at the pub and fell down the stairs.

- He doesn't need to know that.
- Don't make stuff up, then.

- Stop talking.
- Who? Me or her?

- You, obviously.
- Both of you.

Yep, you've strained
your medial collateral ligament.

I'll get you a knee brace.

You need to wear it and
keep it on for a week and rest it.

- Oh, no, I can't do that.
- He can't do that, Doc.

If I'm not on the boat, we don't
have enough fish for the stall, Doc.

- You'll have to cover for me.
- I don't DO boats.

- Tell him, Doc.
- Tell him what?

That I hate boats.

Tried them a few times
when I were younger,

but felt so dizzy I could barely stand.

Can't you give her something
for that, Doc?

We can't afford to hire someone
to work on the boat.

We could if you stopped
blowing the profits down the pub.

Oh, be quiet, both of you.

If you're suffering from sea-sickness,

get an over-the-counter remedy
from the pharmacist.

- It really is as simple as that.
- Thanks, Doc.

Erm, what are you doing?

Oh... making a cup of tea.

That's fine, I'll do it for you.

So, when did you get released?

Two weeks ago.

You didn't think to call
before you came?

I wasn't sure you'd wanna see me.

Dad, Dad, I stayed in touch.

A few letters... over a lot of years.

That you didn't reply to.

Oh, but grateful for them,
and oh, the photos of my grandkids.

Where are they, anyway?

Well, James is at school and
Mary's out with Janice, her nanny.

I am so proud of you, Lou.

And you're a child counsellor now?

- Yeah.
- Not a teacher?

I wanted a career change.

I-I-I know the feeling.

It'd mean a lot to me
if I could meet the grandkids.

Well, if you stop by tomorrow,
you can say hello to them.

- Thanks, Lou.
- Yeah.

You all right?

- Mr Glasson?
- Martin! Hey, look at you!

Is he staying...
Are you, are you staying here?

I've got a holiday cottage booked.

Well, I did, it turns out
it's double booked today, so...

So you could get a room at the pub,
maybe.

Good idea, Lou.
So we're on for tomorrow, right?

Yeah. Call and we'll arrange something.

I'm sorry it's been so long. Oh...

- Helpful as always, eh?
- All right.

See you tomorrow...

- Yeah.
- ..hopefully.

- Bye.
- Tomorrow?

Well, he wants to see James and Mary.

Right, I see. So, you said yes?

Well, he IS their grandfather.

Yes, I know he is.
He's also a liar and a thief.

Just a bit...

wary of becoming too involved
with him after last time.

Yeah, I'm more than wary,
but he is my dad, Martin.

What would you do if your mother
turned up on the doorstep tomorrow?

I'd lock and bolt the door.

No sign of her yet?

No sign of who?

Joe, you've been checking that
same avocado for ten minutes now.

Or is it just a coincidence that
Janice comes the same way every day?

- Is it THAT obvious?
- A little, yeah.

I was gonna ask her to dinner again.

The last one was a disaster, and...
we haven't really spoken since.

I dunno, Joe. Maybe it wouldn't hurt
to play a little... hard to get.

I mean, you don't even know
how she feels about you.

You think I'm being too keen?

Well, you know what they say,
everybody wants what they can't get.

Thanks, Al.

Well, I better get out of here
before Janice...

Hello...! Hi.

- Hey, Joe. Al.
- Janice.

We're just off to feed the ducks,

I was wondering
if you'd like to try dinner again?

Today or tomorrow, my treat?

Actually, I'm a bit busy.

Look, er, Joe,
you're, you're not THAT busy.

I am.

And if we did have dinner,
it would just be as friends.

But I can't have dinner
because I'm too busy.

OK. So no dinner, then.

I just wouldn't want you
getting the wrong idea.

Right... OK.

See you around?

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

Well, that went pretty well.
Thanks, Al.

- There's your deposit.
- Oh, cheers.

You ARE getting it cleaned
and prepped, right?

Yes, of course. Yes. Inside and out.

Actually,
I wouldn't mind having a look...

I'm-I'm sorry. We use
special chemicals for cleaning,

for health and safety reasons.

Of course.

Well, I'll see you
the day after tomorrow, then.

Oh, OK. Bye.

- Afternoon.
- Terry Glasson.

Apparently...
I need to sign in with you.

You do, yes. You've, er...

quite the record.

Fraud, armed robbery...

I'm a reformed man.

So you say, but I urge you not
to underestimate the professionalism

of the local police force.

This pen doesn't work.

Oh, OK,
I've got another one somewhere...

I'm just here to see my family.
That's all.

Oh, OK. I mean, good.
Because I've got my eye on you.

As you say, officer.

- Look, here, this came for you.
- Oh, thank you.

Jamie, this is the bird,
lands on the church.

Here's the steeple.
Look inside, there's all the people.

What are they singing?

- The hymns.
- No.

"We are going to Wembley."

James, we're gonna be late for
school. Go and get your briefcase.

- Is your hand all right?
- Fine.

They're great kids, Louisa.

- You've done well.
- Aww, thank you.

You're a better parent than ever I was.

Well, you did set the bar quite low.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yes, what is it, muscle cramps?

I noticed you choked
on a cup of tea yesterday.

You're not very steady
on your feet either, are you?

Well, maybe Martin
should have a look at you.

- Yes. If you go through now.
- Don't fuss.

Are you coming back tomorrow?

Well, it's not my shout, Jamie.
Ask your mum.

- She's the boss.
- It's James.

Well, yeah, of course he can,
as long as Daddy makes sure

- he's well enough to play.
- Fine.

There's no harm in getting
the oil and water checked.

- What's this?
- I'm serving you notice.

You can't do that.
You not heard of occupier's rights?

You need to pay rent to have rights.

Yeah, well, I refuse to pay rent
for a substandard service.

What you talking about?

There's no hot water,
there's no ground maintenance...

..and I think there's
illegal distilling going on.

- I didn't ask for a review.
- Well, you got one.

You need to pull your socks up.

Oi! That's littering.

Yeah, well, when in Rome...

Grip my fingers with your two fists
and squeeze hard.

I didn't say stop.

Are your hands numb at all?

They're a little tingly.
And my feet, too.

Look, I'm gonna save us some time here.

I already know I'm dying.

- And why do you say that?
- It was diagnosed in prison.

Motor neurone disease.

So if you already knew,
why didn't you just say so?

Why am I examining you?

Cos that makes me your patient,

which means all this is confidential.

You mean confidential from Louisa?
I don't want her pitying me.

Do you seriously think
I'm not gonna tell my wife?

It's your professional duty,
and I know what that means to you.

Well, it's a progressive disease.
She'll find out eventually.

If you stick around long enough.

I wanna tell her in my own time.

Right, me laddo. Your time is up.

Come on. The police are here.
It's best you give yourself up.

Let's just de-escalate things a little.

You're here to throw him out.

No, I'm here to calmly assess
the situation,

and make a judgment
based on the gathered facts.

The facts are he's
costing me a fortune...

Bert.

Let me handle it.

Hello there?

Can I have a word, please?

See?

- How's your knee?
- Yeah, it's a little better.

You haven't got much of a selection,
have you?

Yeah, you can blame Meg for that.

That's your lot,
then I'm having a lie down.

- Doc?
- Hello.

My sister is suffering
from a bad case of "lazyitis".

I was on the boat this morning.

Got some seasickness tablets
from the chemist,

they didn't really help.

Everything still feels like
it's bobbing and moving.

- How long since you got off the boat?
- Two, three hours.

It'll probably last all day,
did last time.

- Do you have any other symptoms?
- Not really.

- She just needs stronger tablets.
- They're not gonna help.

You know nothing.

I know you ruddy talk enough...

Shush. Make an appointment,
come and see me at the surgery.

And I'll take those two pollock.

So?

Yeah... he's a nice guy.

Teaching himself taxidermy.

- He's got some mad things in there.
- No, are you going to chuck him out?

It's a bit of a head-scratcher.

Technically, neither of you own the van,

but he's been in there so long,
it's gonna be hard to shift him.

I'm not just gonna sit and let him
use the facilities for nothing.

I suppose if he were to pop out
of his own accord,

you could get in there
and lock him out...

That's not much of a solution.

Also, he mentioned there
was no hot water this morning.

I said you'd look into it. Right.

Cheers and gone.

I believe these are yours.

Oh, you've found some of my surprises.

- Some? How many more are there?
- It's important

to the process that you're exposed
to these triggers without warning.

You left a bloodied kidney
in a drawer in my desk.

I vomited in front of a patient.

And how was the second one?

I managed that a little bit better.

- Well, that's progress.
- Just stop doing it.

Look, Martin, you've done some
excellent work on your condition,

but we have to test,

to see if these improvements
are temporary or permanent.

You're actually making things worse.

You'll be off to London soon,
you'll be surrounded by your peers.

They'll be aware of what's happened,

and they'll be looking for a weakness.

Ruth!

All right. I'll stop.

Just be careful
when you open your sock drawer...

Oh, for God's sake.

Are you coming in for a coffee?

Yeah, unless you've hidden a piece
of pancreas in it, or something.

- I brought you a draft of my lecture.
- Well, I'll take a look at it.

I saw Louisa's father in town.

- Did you know he was back?
- Yes.

- Is he staying with you?
- No, he's at the pub.

I'm surprised he's not still inside,
given his history.

Yes, well, he got an early release.

Well, that's odd.

Parole boards usually take
a dim view of career criminals.

Why make an exception for him?

I couldn't comment.

What is it, Martin? What do you know?

Um, I know that I can't discuss
a patient with you.

Well, it must be serious
if he's willing to come to you.

It is serious.

Compassionate release.

That's the only reason they'd
let a recidivist like Terry go.

- How long does he have?
- I can't comment.

No, of course you can't comment.

Oh, poor Louisa.

How's she taken the news?

She doesn't know!

Ruth, you know perfectly well

that I'm professionally obliged
not to answer that question.

He's put you in a terrible position.

Yes, he has.
But you can't say anything to her,

or Terry'll think
I've breached his confidentiality.

And yet, you haven't told me a thing.

Hm.

Oh, hi there. Is Ruth OK?

Er, yeah.

I spoke to Dad.
You know, about his condition.

- Really?
- Yeah, he said you'd be too hung up

about confidentiality
to tell me anything,

so he thought he'd just fill me in.

Well, that's good that he feels
he can talk to you about it.

Yeah. I'm sort of enjoying
having him here.

- Is that weird?
- No.

- No, he's still your father.
- Yeah. And the children like him,

it's nice for them to have a grandad.

- Yeah, I suppose it is.
- I'm just relieved he's gonna be OK.

So what did he tell you?

Erm... just that
it's something neurological.

- Is that not right?
- Yes.

Yes, it's something neurological,
or yes, it's not right?

Er, it's neurological, but specific
conditions are hard to discern.

But you know what it is?

- Yes.
- And you can't tell me?

Not without his consent, no, that's
a matter of confidentiality...

I know, I know,
confidentiality, principles.

- God, it is exhausting.
- Hmm.

I agree.

Well, he's coming round
for supper later,

so perhaps you can both clarify it then.

Ruth!
So there's a criminal in our midst.

Terry Glasson.

- I'm actually on my way to see him.
- Do you need some protection?

- Is he dangerous?
- No. Not really.

- But he is on parole?
- Oh, yes, his papers all checked out.

Don't worry, I've let him know
I've got my eyes on him.

Well, I'm sure that'll make a big
difference to the way he behaves!

What you playing at, boy?!

Never had you down
as much of a twitcher.

I'm staking out me laddo over there,
right?

And my buyer's back tomorrow,

so I need him and his menagerie gone.

He never seems to set a foot outside.

He still has to eat at some point,

you know, take a break,
stretch his legs.

And as soon as he does, I'm gonna nip in

and take possession.

Although I could use
a bit of a break myself...

Yeah, I'm not gonna spend my afternoon

spying on someone in a caravan.
Good luck!

Hello, Terry.

Hello, Ruth.

- Would you like a drink?
- Oh, it's a little early for me.

You know what they say,
it's five o'clock somewhere.

I know why you're here, Terry.

I like cold beer and warm pubs.

It's not a crime, is it?

I mean, in Portwenn.

Compassionate leave.

So Martin told you?

No, Martin didn't tell me anything.

I worked it out for myself.

What's the plan here?

To spend your final days in Portwenn?

Maybe.

Or maybe somewhere warmer.

Spain, Greece.

Well, you can't do that
if you're on parole.

Is this a conversation,
or an interrogation?

You should tell your daughter the truth.

You've put Martin
in a very difficult situation.

I'm sorry if my impending death
is inconvenient to anyone.

You know how much you've hurt her.

How you've continually let her down,
lied to her...

Think how she'll feel
when she finds out about this.

By the time she does...
I won't be around any more.

Well, it only took me
half a day to find out.

I doubt she'll be far behind.

12-inch margarita pizza and some beers.

Cheers. One sec.

What's that supposed to be?
It's a rabbit.

It's only got three legs.
Just give us the cash.

Hang on a minute!

'Ere, you can't do that.

Peter Piter picked...

A peck the pickled peppers, pip...

Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled peppers,

peck of Pippa... Peter Piper picked!

Ah...

- Oh, wow.
- Silly Grandad!

What's wrong with your hand?

You know very well what's wrong with me.

I thought we agreed on saying nothing.

Oh, what about another limerick, then?

I didn't realise
you were such a fan of the genre.

You didn't make a single mistake
on the last one.

So?

Your condition doesn't seem
to be affecting your speech.

Well...

So what's it called, exactly,
this, erm, condition of yours?

It's got, it's a nerve thing.
I-I-I can't remember the fancy name.

Well, you must know, Martin.

What's the, er, "fancy name"
for my father's nerve condition?

Er, my examination was inconclusive.

- Inconclusive?
- Mm.

That's not like you.

And if it's, er, confidentiality
you're worried about,

well, Dad doesn't mind, do you?

You've told me everything, haven't you?

Hm? James,

would you go and find another book
for Grandad? Thank you, well done.

Come on, Chicken!

Pathetic, both of you.

What are you not telling me?

They let me out of prison
on compassionate leave.

I have motor neurone disease.

How...

How could you not say anything?

- Well, the thing...
- I'm professionally bound...

Er, sorry, me or him?

Well, both of you.
I'm your wife, Martin.

And you...

..couldn't you just be straight
with me for once in your life?

I didn't want you
feeling sorry about me dying.

I'm not so convinced
that you have motor neurone disease.

You choke when you drink sometimes,

and yet, you managed to read
a tongue-twister perfectly.

You say you have tingling
and numbness in your hands and feet.

I wouldn't expect to find that
with motor neurone disease.

So what does he have?

Er, I don't know.
Sarcoidosis, or amyloidosis?

It'd be impossible to tell without
further examination and tests.

Dad?

So why didn't my doctor pick up on this?

Well, I don't suppose the prison
medical service is up to much.

I'd be surprised if your doctor
ordered extensive tests.

Or perhaps he just isn't very good.

You always have to be
in the right, don't you?

Would you rather I got everything wrong?

I just don't think
you should get people's hopes up.

It's easier for everyone
to accept it and just move on.

But if it's a different condition,
it could give you years back.

When will we know?

Er, the results should be back tomorrow.

Matt keeps yakking away about

how if I don't get back on the boat,
we're gonna lose the business.

Well, I can't help it
if I'm still seasick the day after.

Yeah, you shouldn't be. It should
only last for a couple of hours.

Have your symptoms improved at all
since I last saw you?

They're worse,
especially if I'm sitting still.

And I can't sleep.

Feels like the whole room's moving.

Stand up.

Look to the left. Look right.

- What am I looking for?
- Nothing.

I'm looking for nystagmus,
which is a flicking movement

of the eyes, but there isn't any.

Have you suffered any hearing loss,
or tinnitus?

No.

Can you hear that?

- Yeah.
- And that?

It's quite nice. Gives me tingles.

Well, your hearing isn't affected,
so it's not Meniere's.

Two for two, you're doing well, Doc.

Close your eyes and march on the spot.

- Seriously?
- Yes. Count to 50.

One, two, three...

This is stupid.

I want to see if your body turns

without a visual frame of reference.

Close your eyes and march,
properly, put your hands down.

Five, six, seven, eight...

All right, you can stop. Open your eyes.

Oh, you're over there.

Hm. I suspect that you're suffering
from Mal de Debarquement Syndrome,

which is a condition where you feel
as if you're moving the whole time

when you're not.

Typically triggered by travel.

- Like being on a boat?
- Yes.

- Is this thing fatal?
- No.

- Will I get better?
- Er, there is no cure,

but there is a new treatment
which can alleviate your symptoms.

Come and lie down,
then I'll move your head.

And relax.

- Is this the treatment?
- Yes.

And I'll give you a prescription
for a low dosage of Clonazepam.

Just to confirm...

..this might help...
but there's no cure,

so I definitely can't go on the boats?

Er, no, I'm sorry, you can't.

Don't be sorry, that's brilliant!

I can go tell my brother
he'll have to hire someone else

and stop wasting all his money
down the pub.

You are a genius, Doc.

How hot is this pepper?

It's pretty mild.
Those ones there are hotter.

I'll have five of those.

Has Terry Glasson moved out of the pub?

Yeah, checked out to go and stay
at Fisherman's Rest cottage.

Do you know why he moved?

Apparently, he has a sentimental
attachment to the place.

Doesn't strike me
as the sentimental type.

Me neither.

I wouldn't trust that man
as far as you could throw him,

which isn't as far as I'd like.

- How much?
- Pound.

Terry? It's Ruth Ellingham.

- What do you want?
- I need to talk to you.

Bit busy at the moment, Ruth.

Are you all right? What happened?

- I'm fine. I slipped.
- Try not to move.

I'll call Martin.

No, don't do that.
It-It's only a sprain.

I heard a crash,
and this is where I found him.

What are you doing here?

I tripped up, landed on the ground.

Apparently, he fell over the chair.

- Where's it hurt?
- Ankle.

OK, I need to get you to the surgery.

Oh, please. Let me stay here and rest.

It's out of the question.
Your ankle could be broken.

- Come on.
- Can you fetch me my bag?

Don't worry about your bag.

Come on. That's it.

Keep the weight off it.

That's it.

Lean on me.

I didn't get the wrong idea.

- What?
- Just the other day,

you said you didn't want me to
get the wrong idea. Well, I didn't.

When you invited me for dinner,

I wasn't all, "OK, but only
if we're just friends."

Are you annoyed with me?

You haven't really spoken to me
since the meal.

Because I threw up everywhere
and shouted, and I was embarrassed.

Although, why was I embarrassed?

Because you threw up everywhere
and were shouting at me?

Yeah, but if we're friends,
it shouldn't matter.

- Right, now I'm really confused.
- Exactly.

It's driving me mad.

Nobody annoys me like you do, Joe.

- I'm sorry.
- Apology accepted.

I like that you asked me to dinner.

I like that you wait for me
every day at Al's food truck.

Al says I'm being too keen.

- Al doesn't know anything.
- He IS married.

I think... maybe I made a mistake.

Leaving Portwenn.

Leaving you.

I think I like you, Joe.

I like you.

What is it?

You've got a bit of...

Is that better?

Do I look OK?

You look gorgeous.

Dad!

Are you OK?

Yeah, he's lucky, it's just a sprain.

Don't worry. It's worse than it looks.

- Is Ruth with you?
- No, no, not yet.

Well, maybe you should stay with us
so we can look after you.

I don't want to be a burden.

- Biopsy results are in.
- Thank you.

Yes, the biopsy indicates intense
inflammation of the endoneurium,

which is causing demyelination.
It's known as CIDP -

chronic inflammatory
demyelinating polyneuropathy.

It's a peripheral nerve disease.

- So is it terminal?
- No.

It's often misdiagnosed
as motor neurone disease.

But with the right treatment,
you should make a full recovery.

Oh, Dad, that's brilliant.

- Yeah... great.
- Well, so what's wrong?

I only got released
on compassionate grounds.

- And if what Martin says is right...
- Er, which it is.

..it means that I'm not dying,

which under the terms of my parole...

You have to go back to prison.

There's a course of treatment
I could start you on.

But, erm, I'll give you a minute
to rest, and... take that in.

It's funny, isn't it?

Dying, the best thing
that could've happened for me.

Seeing you again...

..the grandkids...

Well, we can come and visit. We can.

I've got something for you.

I meant to give it to you earlier.

Is it stolen?

What? No...

It was your grandmother's.

I meant to pass it to you before, but...

- But what?
- Listen, Lou.

I'm doing my best.

Everyone's written me off,
but I'm trying.

Yeah. It's a bit late for that, Dad.

Look, erm,
you, you need to get some rest.

You can stay
in James's room tonight. OK?

- So he's not dying?
- No. He has CIDP.

It also means that
compassionate leave is cancelled

and he'll have to go back to prison.

I'm not sure he was ever
planning to stay around here.

Oh, for God's sake,
you're not gonna produce

a bit of lung or a kidney, are you?

I only wish it was.

Good God!

Do you think it's all stolen?

That's probably a safe assumption.

I'm so sorry, Louisa.

All right, my laddo, last chance.

Either you come out now,
or I smoke you out.

- You haven't got the nerve.
- Just you wait and see.

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

You nutter. You torched my van!

Actually, I just set up
a small controlled fire.

But you're out now,
so mission accomplished.

- Oh, bloody hell.
- My stuff!

- What's going on?
- This idiot's lost his mind.

Stand back, everyone. I've got this.

Dad, seriously?

I'm sorry, boy.
I meant to refill it, honest.

The whisky! Run!

My van!

Erm... You're supposed to be resting.

I-I wanna go and see Ruth.
Thank her for helping me out.

To make sure your bag's safe?

Cos you wouldn't wanna lose that,
would you?

This wasn't really
my grandmother's ring.

No, it was.

And the rest of the stuff in the bag?

The watches and the bracelets
and the jewellery and all the cash?

Did they belong to her as well?

- She didn't trust banks.
- Dad...

..if you lie to me one more time,

I'm never talking to you again,
and I mean it.

It wasn't your grandmother's.
None of it was.

The last time that I was here,

that nice fella, Jonathan,

that accidentally
kept you and Martin hostage,

he stashed it away.

Before I could get to it, I had to run.

So you didn't come back
to see me at all?

Yes, I did.

I thought I was dying.
It was all that mattered.

Dad.

- I don't believe that.
- Well, it's true.

Look, ask anything of me,
anything at all, I'll do it, Lou.

I really don't think
I want any more from you.

You can stay for some supper,
say goodbye to James and Mary.

And then PC Penhale can arrange
your transport back to prison.

Well...

- ..if that's what you want...
- No, none of this is what I wanted.

Bert. Al. Joe.

So, this gentleman has agreed
not to press arson charges,

provided you find him
a van to live in...

I have always admired that six-berther.

That's my top van!

..and replace
all the personal items lost.

Plus my artwork. That was priceless.

Yeah,
I wouldn't push that angle too much.

All right, call it 500 quid.

What?

Sounds like a fair deal
compared to an arson charge.

I'll get the cheque book.

- Such a shame.
- Bloody disaster.

Gonna need that deposit back.

Of course you will.

That was delicious, Lou.

Well, Martin cooked it.

Well, my congratulations to the chef.

I'm sorry now that I'm going away.

Where are you going, Grandad?

An all-expenses-paid resort.

Well, very nice.
They organise everything for you,

what time you wake up, go to bed,
what you eat, what you do...

- He's going to prison.
- Martin!

- Well, he is.
- Did you do something bad?

Tried to live outside of society,
that's why they punished me.

No, I think they punished you cos
you took part in an armed robbery.

Well, that as well.

You know what they say,
if you can't do the time...

Sorry, Lou. I wish
I'd been a better father to you.

I'm getting a little choked up here.

I'm just gonna go and freshen up

before your Mr Penhale
takes me on holiday.

He's impossible.

I know his problems
are all of his own making, but...

he's my father.

He's not the one I wanted or needed...

..but I couldn't choose him, could I?

No.

Martin, Dad's bag...

..have you moved it?

No, I put it on that table for Penhale.

Dad?

Dad?

Martin, are you nervous?

No, it's just a lecture.

It's not just a lecture,
you're a keynote speaker.

I'm gonna hit you hard.

Why are you gonna hit Trudy?
We need to help her.

- What are you doing here, Joe?
- I thought I'd help you babysit.

I've brought some of my favourite games.

- Do you still write poetry?
- No, I don't. Hello, Sophie.

Janice, what's that noise?

Burnt the toast, alarm's gone mental.

- Did you just wink at me?
- No, I did not.