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1
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They're still up. His lights. He's just forgotten they're there.
2
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Oh, and just remembers - to turn them on every night? - Timer.
3
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Ah! No. That's what I thought, but different times every night.
4
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This evening, 6:59. Before that 6:57. Before that 6:42.
5
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Before that 6.53, 6:42, 6:53, 6:47, 6:59-
6
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I like them. I'm telling you...
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he's got it in for me, Laura.
8
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First it was the whole the thing, - wasn't it, about the car. - Neil...
9
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For the last time, the car thing...
10
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could've been anyone. The entire street would like to see
11
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the back of that heap. Eight years it sat there,
12
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not a dicky bird, but the second that he moved in...
13
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Why would he, of all people,
14
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complain to the council about an "eyesore"?
15
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Because no one would suspect him.
16
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- Chicken soup. - Argh.
17
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Err, custard. Ey.
18
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Beans with sausage. Oh, perfect.
19
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Just what I'm after. Thanks, Hol.
20
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Dad... You are looking after yourself? Yeah?
21
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"Looking after myself"? There's sausage in these beans.
22
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I'm living like a king! Hm... OK.
23
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I'd know that knock anywhere.
24
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It's him. Dad. No, wait just promise me-
25
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I'll be on my best behaviour. Anyway, got to go.
26
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Love you Holly. See you later. Dad, wait!
27
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- Bye-bye. - Bye. - Mwah. - Bye.
28
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,759
Hello? Hello Scott.
29
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Um... It's me. Me?
30
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Neil. "Neil"?
31
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Across the road. Oh yeah, Neil. Got ya.
32
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What can I do for you?
33
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It's about the lights.
34
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Lights? The Christmas lights. On your roof.
35
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Oh, they still up are they? You may remember from...
36
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our conversation on January 2nd, and my follow up text
37
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of February 5th, and the 12th, that they shine brightly
38
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into my top window, so I'd really appreciate it, if you don't mind-
39
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Yep, say no more Neil.
40
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I will have them taken down first thing in the morning.
41
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You have my word.
42
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Git!
43
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You were supposed to be getting - her flute! - Thirteen minutes.
44
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He hasn't even invited her in. Do you hear me?
45
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She's 74 with a fake knee. Get the poor woman a chair.
46
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Look at her under his spell, he's not even listening.
47
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You'd think she'd see through him, but no she's baked him a carrot cake.
48
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How do you know it's carrot?
49
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,239
Well... that's normal.
50
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Can you get to school, please?
51
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Get a life, please? Don't backchat me.
52
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And don't cut through the park!
53
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,959
Neil. Look at me. Look at me. I know you've had a difficult time
54
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,439
the last few months. Why'd you keep saying that? I'm fine.
55
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,959
You're not fine. You're distracted, you're short tempered.
56
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,759
You've barely noticed your daughter. I noticed the attitude.
57
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,279
Well, what do you expect. Look...
58
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,399
What Graham did was wrong. You were best friends...
59
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,559
We weren't friends, we were business partners.
60
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,439
Look whatever. The whole Parnes Alarms thing
61
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:20,319
has clearly affected you. All you do is work, sleep, and this.
62
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,399
It's not healthy. Right, two things.
63
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,759
Firstly, bit of hard work never killed anybody.
64
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,639
Your Uncle Fred had a pre-existing heart condition.
65
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And secondly, I don't need a best friend because I'm not nine,
66
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and this is completely unrelated.
67
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,079
This is about him messing with the wrong "hombre".
68
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Morning April! Morning Scott. Morning, Euan!
69
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Cake was delicious, by the way. OK fine. Fine.
70
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If you think you're fine, fine.
71
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,959
But if everybody else thinks he a nice normal guy,
72
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,599
easy to get on with, and it's only you who think he's some sort of
73
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,039
mad, evil psychopath, what does that tell you?
74
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That he's winning.
75
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,599
Oh!
76
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That's my bin.
77
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Who's there?
78
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Postman! I thought you were out, so I was just lea...
79
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Parnes Alarms? Neil?
80
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,360
Hello, you two.
81
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,760
Alright mate, I was just delivering these.
82
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,960
Oh, I can take those.
83
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'Ere.
84
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,720
Cheers. OK, Merry Christmas.
85
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Right.
86
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,480
And to you, both.
87
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,080
Postie gone has he? Yep, /yeah he's gone.
88
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,680
So what brings you over here, - this time? - In a word...
89
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,599
..."bins".
90
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,239
It looks like our green bins have got mixed up.
91
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,360
Again. Does it matter?
92
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,239
Well, yeah. One of them has got a crack in it.
93
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,159
And it's got, like, sentimental value has it?
94
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,360
No, yours has got a crack in it.
95
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,559
So I'll... I will just...
96
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,800
swap these bins over, again.
97
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,599
And hopefully, that will be the end of it.
98
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,000
Well, fingers crossed.
99
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,240
You can't trust them you know, Parnes Alarms.
100
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,399
I used to work with him. Graham.
101
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,079
Yeah. Out for himself. He's a bad egg.
102
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,560
Oh, he seems alright to me. I do his accounts.
103
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,799
Well, I hope you're both very happy.
104
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We are.
105
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,799
So, what's he sent you then? Mr Parnes?
106
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,800
Oh, you know. Just some... lights.
107
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,079
Lights? Security lights.
108
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,279
April was concerned about my home security so I thought,
109
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a few more lights couldn't hurt. Oh, come off it.
110
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What have you got against me? Eh?
111
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The flashing lights, swapping the bins,
112
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and I know it was you that complained to the council about my Sierra.
113
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Those complaints are anonymous.
114
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How d'ya know if you didn't complain?
115
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Common knowledge. Argh...
116
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You wheedle your way in here, don't you? Eh?
117
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Convincing everyone round here you're all sweetness and light.
118
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People baking you cakes, laughing at your little jokes.
119
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Years I've lived here without an issue,
120
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but the second you move in...
121
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Oh. You need to open your eyes more.
122
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,719
- Excuse me? - You know what they call you round here?
123
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What? Petty.
124
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,000
Nonsense. Yeah. Tom Petty they call you.
125
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Rubbish. Petty Davis.
126
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- That's not true. - Jean-Paul Petty. You're making these up.
127
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The Petty'sburg address. They don't say that.
128
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Alpha-petty-spaghetti. That doesn't make sense.
129
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,919
- Dainty little petty coat. - I'm very well respected. Very popular.
130
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Ah well, where's your cake then? Well, it's not in the bin.
131
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Oh, I haven't got time for this.
132
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,479
Neighbourhood watch tonight. You mean nosey parkers.
133
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,639
It's like Parnes Alarms, no substitute for the real thing.
134
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,559
Well, tonight's the big night.
135
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,959
April's standing down as coordinator.
136
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It's the vote to find a replacement.
137
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And, you know, I'm thinking of standing, given my popularity.
138
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,519
Oh, come off it. You wouldn't stand a chance.
139
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Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't.
140
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Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't!
141
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Wouldn't I?
142
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Euan.
143
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Bin's again.
144
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Alright? Fine!
145
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Good stuff.
146
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Ah, well, good for business.
147
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There you go darling.
148
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Have you heard this? What?
149
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It's nothing. Just leave it.
150
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,559
She's been mugged. Mum...
151
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You just said you were fine. I am fine!
152
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,559
Ashleigh Brennan stole her ear buds. The ones I bought her?
153
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I had those engraved. Doesn't matter. I don't even care.
154
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,479
When was this? Just now in the park.
155
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Oh, I told you not to cut through the park!
156
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That's it? That's your response.
157
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It's fine, and I'm fine, so can we just leave it?
158
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,679
Well?
159
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,559
What do you want me to do?
160
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I don't know. Call the police or something.
161
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,759
You don't call the police on the Brennans.
162
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,959
They're not the kind of people you want to upset.
163
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,439
What about Chloe? Upsetting her?
164
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Go and apologise to her. Go and find her, make sure she's OK.
165
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Be her Dad.
166
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,759
I'm just gonna, erm...
167
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I'm... I'm just...
168
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Ashleigh.
169
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Big Barry.
170
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Little Barry. Eek!
171
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You know, cos... three years, Mum.
172
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Ah...
173
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Right Brennans, let's get to work.
174
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I told you to ditch the balloon.
175
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Just get in!
176
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,799
Oh. Lovely to see you Scott.
177
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And the tea is in your left hand.
178
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,799
Oh. In the cup-shaped thing. I've got you. Thank you.
179
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Just this way Scott.
180
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,439
Scott. Hi.
181
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:37,639
Oh, hey, Sabrina. How are you doing? Hi. Yeah, I'm good thanks.
182
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New shirt? Oh, yeah. Pressie from my daughter.
183
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,559
Oh, lovely... Yeah.
184
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Matches your eyes. Yeah.
185
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What, you mean it doesn't work?
186
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Sorry.
187
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,439
No, that's alright. Um...
188
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There's a seat next to me if you want to...
189
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,639
Oh, um... No, I'm with these guys here, you know, I'd better...
190
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,719
Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, OK.
191
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Everyone, settle down. Yeah. See you later.
192
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,599
Right, then, thank you everybody.
193
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,840
Well. There's no avoiding the elephant in the room.
194
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:11,319
As everyone knows, I'm stepping down as community coordinator.
195
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,839
It's been very fulfilling...
196
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,080
but, without John to share the load...
197
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,279
...it's time to pass on the torch.
198
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,559
Which brings me to the small matter of my successor,
199
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,640
and we have a wealth of talent on the shortlist.
200
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,960
There's Bill and Janet.
201
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,040
The two Sues.
202
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,439
And, of course, our current bursar, Evelyn.
203
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,680
So, unless anybody else is thinking of standing...
204
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,080
...the vote will be a simple show of hands.
205
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,200
Neil?
206
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,439
This is an unexpected...
207
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Unexpected.
208
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,839
Well, you know, I knew it was your big day, April.
209
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,519
I wanted to see you go.
210
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I mean, mark the occasion.
211
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,199
Out with the old... not that you're old!
212
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,239
I mean "old guard", a lynchpin, a big beast.
213
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,279
Not that you're big, you know, you've lost a lot of um...
214
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,839
How's John? He's dead. I'll sit down.
215
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,920
Yes, um... Where were we?
216
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,839
Ah, voting!
217
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:25,039
So, I will list each candidate in turn and ask for a show of hands.
218
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,159
Oh, Scott. Have you, uh...?
219
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,560
Um, yes April. Um, I've been thinking...
220
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,359
...just about how incredibly welcoming
221
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,839
this community has been to me.
222
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,560
How kind and accepting and, well...
223
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,119
...just about the help and support that you've all given to me
224
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,399
when I've really needed it. And...
225
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,799
...if I could give something back to all the people
226
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,559
that have given so much to me.
227
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,359
And if the role of coordinator might allow me to do that,
228
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,080
and if you were to put your trust in me...
229
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...then it's a mantel I'd be honoured to take on.
230
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Well, thank you Scott.
231
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I will certainly add your name to the list.
232
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,720
I vote for Scott.
233
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,039
Mm, I'm out. And so's Sue.
234
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,999
Oh. Bill, Janet?
235
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,879
No. No. - No. - Right...
236
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,759
So, as there are no other hats in the ring...
237
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,399
Wait!
238
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,800
- Neil? - I would like to put myself into April's ring.
239
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,960
My hat into the ring.
240
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,279
As a professional in home security...
241
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,919
Causes for Alarms, I could not be better suited,
242
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,199
or indeed, better qualified, for the role.
243
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,679
And I would be honoured to share
244
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that experience, and expertise...
245
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,879
And...
246
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,879
a generous affiliate discount of 20%
247
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,439
off all home security products for committee members.
248
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,239
30%? Forty!
249
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,959
40%! Oh, I vote for discount man.
250
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,599
Yeah. Right...
251
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,719
Well, we appear to have a two horse race.
252
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,840
So, let's put it to the vote, shall we?
253
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,360
Show of hands for Scott...
254
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,040
And for Neil?
255
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,720
What are the chances?
256
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,280
It would seem that we have...
257
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,480
...a tie.
258
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:47,759
Seriously? I mean, do I have to point out the obvious here?
259
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,119
It's supposed to be Neighbourhood "Watch".
260
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,319
I'm mean surely there must be rules for this sort of thing.
261
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,880
Who has the casting vote?
262
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,199
You have got to be kidding me.
263
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,719
What's happening? I think John's voting.
264
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,599
I thought John was dead. He is.
265
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,519
OK, OK. So, I think he would want
266
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,280
the role of community coordinator to go to...
267
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,720
both of you.
268
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,240
Jointly.
269
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,400
No, no, no, no, no.
270
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,519
Bye Scott. Bye-bye, take care.
271
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,240
Merry Christmas.
272
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,399
OK, what are you playing at?! So, you're not as popular
273
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,559
as you thought are, eh? You don't even want the job!
274
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,679
The people have spoken and you lost!!
275
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,159
It was a draw!
276
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,999
Only on paper maybe. But I'm the only one with the skillset.
277
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,919
So, why don't you take your little badge, go back to your little house-
278
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,479
They're all the same size. And let me do what I've done
279
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,279
my whole adult life.
280
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,239
What, act like a child? Home security.
281
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,639
Causes for Alarms. We are very popular.
282
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,439
Shouldn't it be "Cause" for Alarms?!
283
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,239
It works.
284
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,679
Oh, and number one rule, hm?
285
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,320
This year... Take your lights down!
286
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,000
OK, I'll take my lights down.
287
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,919
Oh, look at that.
288
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,559
Yeah. Quality plastic that, and all our alarms are hardwired,
289
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,839
so you won't have to change the batteries.
290
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,039
And, seeing as it's Christmas, Evelyn,
291
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,159
I'm gonna throw in a free mug.
292
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,519
Ha, catch? Only joking.
293
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,919
Bone china. Well, made in China.
294
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,479
And all with- Yes, all with 40% off.
295
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,079
I'm a man...
296
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,600
What the hell?!
297
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,079
Careful, Scott!
298
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,079
Sign that. Oh!
299
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,559
Come down Scott, you'll fall!
300
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,719
I'm fine. Nothing to see here.
301
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,519
I'm OK. Honest.
302
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,839
Ooh!
303
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,359
Woah!
304
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,879
Scott! Please, don't move!
305
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,439
Honestly. I'm... fine!
306
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,599
Still fine. If you want more
307
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,039
decorations up, we can do that. You're gonna get yourself killed!
308
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:22,079
I'm not putting them up, I am taking them down!
309
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,079
What? Why?
310
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:28,639
Neil told me to take my lights down.
311
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,159
What?! Did you, Neil?
312
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,279
No.
313
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,639
Well, yes, but, you know, I didn't me...
314
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,479
I didn't mean now, obviously not now, it's Christmas!
315
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,839
Right. Step aside. Coming through!
316
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,239
You've got the wrong end of the... You know. Keep the lights!
317
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:45,919
More lights I say!!
318
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,319
We'll have you down in no time cockleshell.
319
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,559
Thanks Sues. Right, come on.
320
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,559
That's it. Careful, yep, that's it.
321
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,959
I've got your right ankle.
322
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,840
If it's lights you want, I'll give you lights.
323
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,399
I'll show them who's Mr Christmas.
324
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,399
You wait to see what I can do.
325
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,679
Mum. Is dad having a breakdown?
326
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,440
Yeah, looks like it.
327
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,359
Roll up, guys. Come on down!
328
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,639
Roll up. Roll up for the great Staplethorne Close
329
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,520
Christmas switch-on! Ha-ha!
330
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,840
Sponsored by Causes for Alarms!
331
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,239
Yeah. Sorry, Evelyn, I probably don't need this. Um...
332
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,839
So, I am very aware
333
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280
of the, um, little...
334
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,199
...confusion earlier today,
335
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:06,799
regarding my attitude to the community,
336
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,479
or some persons therein,
337
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,759
indeed, the whole of the festive season.
338
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,639
I am delighted to address this matter,
339
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,719
in a way that demonstrates how wholeheartedly affectionate
340
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:25,240
I feel about this most wonderful time of the year.
341
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,799
# You better watch out
342
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,839
Are they on?
343
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,160
We don't know for certain that it was my fault.
344
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:08,839
Excuse me. Do we know when the power will be back on?
345
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,400
Well, he...
346
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,119
the surge clipped the mains ring for the whole street,
347
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,599
which burnt out part of the sub.
348
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,159
So, we'll be done here by 5:00 ish.
349
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,479
But, with the off-site work, you're looking at a couple of days.
350
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,559
What?! But it's Christmas Eve!
351
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,840
They'll work as fast as they can, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
352
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,239
If I were you I'd make other plans for Christmas.
353
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,759
I'm sorry.
354
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,080
Excuse me.
355
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,359
Well, Neil?
356
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,759
Look, we're all in the same boat. My power's off too.
357
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,959
We're just gonna have to stay with a friend or family.
358
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,759
It's just a couple of days.
359
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,639
But who's going to spritz my Epipremnum?
360
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,799
And who's gonna feed Mr Baldwin?
361
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,200
Look, we just... Who? My cat.
362
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,119
Obviously, there-there are going to be things that we need to-
363
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,520
I'll do it.
364
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,279
I'll feed Mr Baldwin and keep Evelyn's whatsit moist.
365
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,159
But there's no power. You'll freeze.
366
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,760
I've got jumpers. And it's not like I need the lights on.
367
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:18,279
And I had no plans, so it's fine, honest. Besides...
368
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,399
somebody should stay and keep an eye on the place, so to speak.
369
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,639
And, of course, as co-coordinator of the Neighbourhood Watch,
370
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,199
I do feel duty bound to ensure that our homes
371
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,759
remain safe over the festive period
372
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:36,639
regardless of who is to blame for our current predicament.
373
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,559
You know, that is, after all,
374
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,800
what any decent co-coordinator should do.
375
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,639
And of course, as co...
376
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,439
co-coordinator, I will, um...
377
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:58,879
gladly match Scott's kind offer
378
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,599
and share those...
379
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,240
responsibilities.
380
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,159
Gladly.
381
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,199
Looks like we're imposing on my mum again.
382
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,040
Yeah. About that.
383
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,919
Turns out I'm going to have to stay, sort of,
384
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,080
here for Christmas. What? Why?
385
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,399
Well, Scott sort of offered.
386
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,639
Oh, Scott, yeah, of course. Should have known.
387
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,959
Not content with ruining Christmas, you're what,
388
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,279
you're now abandoning us as well?
389
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,039
And somehow that's all...
390
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,239
that's all Scott's fault too, yeah?
391
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,079
Well, we could all stay here.
392
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,679
You know, sort of camp out in the house.
393
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,080
Bit of an adventure. Might be fun.
394
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,719
Alright, think of Chloe. I'm sure she'd rather stay here
395
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,400
as a family, than schlep off to Gran- Grandma's please!
396
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,240
Maybe it's a good thing.
397
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,920
Few days apart. Some time to think.
398
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,279
What do you need to think about? No...
399
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,799
Not me. You.
400
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,679
For you to think...
401
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,559
about what's more important: your family or your obsession
402
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,200
with the bloke over the road.
403
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,719
So, you want a thin, continuous line and apply firm, but equal-
404
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,279
Ashleigh. You can't avoid police attention
405
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,440
AND be an influencer.
406
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,999
Aye, aye! There it is, there it is.
407
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,559
I've got about four... four quid.
408
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,639
I told ya. They all use the app.
409
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,119
Seriously, Does no one in this family know how to steal anymore?
410
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,560
Uh, I nicked these off some girl in the park.
411
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,200
Take 'em down pawn shop?
412
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:53,919
They're engraved, genius.
413
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,560
Oh.
414
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,319
Chlo-Chlo-Pops.
415
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,000
..that left the entire street without electricity.
416
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,480
I was in the middle of making tea, and suddenly everything went black.
417
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,559
It was absolutely astounding.
418
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,999
Everything went out. The whole electricity,
419
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,199
the power, everything. Gone.
420
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,759
Barry. Yeah?
421
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,479
Not you junior, Big Barry. Oh.
422
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,399
Come here. Have you seen this?
423
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,279
What is it, Stace? Everything was lovely and suddenly,
424
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,319
poof, bang, everything black.
425
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,439
No electricity, nothing.
426
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,199
No lights. Why do we care about that old bag?
427
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,559
Oi. Show some respect...
428
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,039
It's not about the old bag, it's what she's saying.
429
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:46,079
...the entire street has had to up-sticks and make other plans.
430
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:50,319
The entire street is shipping out for Christmas. Which means...
431
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,039
an entire road of empty houses.
432
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,719
Oh... no.
433
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:57,760
I dunno, love.
434
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,639
You've only just got out.
435
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,959
If you do this and you get pinched for it,
436
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,679
they're gonna throw the book at you.
437
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,040
Yeah. But no-one's getting pinched.
438
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,039
Power's out, you see.
439
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:15,360
So it's not just "no witnesses", it's no lights, no alarms...
440
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,120
...and no security cameras.
441
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,519
It's a Christmas miracle.
442
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,040
Sound.
443
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,320
Thanks for nothing!
444
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,440
So, wet in the morning, dry at night.
445
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,279
- Huh? - Oh sorry, um, pouch in the morning, dry food at night.
446
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,879
Oh yeah, got ya. Understood, no problem.
447
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,919
Scotty boy's on it.
448
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,719
Are you sure you're gonna be OK?
449
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:11,119
Oh, we'll be fine, won't we mate?
450
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,800
This is him, yeah? Yeah, that's him.
451
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,519
Only, um...
452
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,720
I could always... stay?
453
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,119
You know, if you needed some company or, um...
454
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:26,599
I could just cook or. No, no, no, no, no, it's fine.
455
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,079
OK.I've got to water the cat and feed the plants. You know...
456
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,639
Yeah
457
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,040
You just, um...
458
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,440
Have a nice Christmas. Oh, oh, you too.
459
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,320
We will be OK, won't we Laura?
460
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,440
Ah! Ah... Ooh!
461
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,000
Ah!
462
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,760
Extra large, double pepperoni, thin crust, with some mushrooms.
463
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,480
Have you got some ice? You know, not on the pizza.
464
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,400
Ha-ha.
465
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,399
Woah!
466
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,200
Pizza.
467
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,800
Merry Christmas. Yeah, same to you.
468
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,679
'Twas the night before Christmas
469
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,879
and I've got a feeling that no one was home...
470
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,520
So, let's do some stealing!
471
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Yes!
472
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,720
Ha-ha!
473
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,239
Right, Brennans.
474
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,239
We split up and do a sweep.
475
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,919
Check for any stragglers.
476
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,799
We've got too many houses and not enough time,
477
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:40,639
so look for easy ways in: old locks, open windows-
478
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,839
Signs that say "burglars stop here".
479
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,919
Alright, keep the noise down.
480
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,279
Comms on channel 7. Any questions?
481
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,119
Do we get a break?
482
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,760
Yeah.
483
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:56,200
You had three years off, ending last Thursday.
484
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,599
Filthy things.
485
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,240
Chicka-boom!
486
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,679
See, no power.
487
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:18,799
No evidence. No prison.
488
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,039
Not this time.
489
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,079
Hello, woo-hoo!
490
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,440
Ooh, hello. What've we got here?
491
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,439
Nearly. Right.
492
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,839
Eenie-meenie-mini-mo, catch an elf by the...
493
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,519
Ooh!
494
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,359
That is a big telly.
495
00:32:56,360 --> 00:33:00,959
I'll be coming back for you, my precious.
496
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:09,959
Oh, here we go.
497
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,159
"Share your pizza with him".
498
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,800
No.
499
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,160
OK, fine!
500
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,999
All clear at number 8.
501
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,559
Have you checked the back? No. Doing it now.
502
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,519
Ugh, typical.
503
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,559
Hiya, I've got a pizza. No.
504
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,079
Hiya, I've got too much pizza. Ugh.
505
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,040
Hi, I was going to put this pizza in the bin. Don't mention the bins!
506
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,199
Welcome to this week's edition of We Don't Like Cricket,
507
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,639
and we're discussing the series that's just taken place
508
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,079
between England and New Zealand.
509
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,839
We're going to chewing the cud all about this. My name is Ivan,
510
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,560
joined as always by the one and only...
511
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,119
In many ways scoring 99 is better than scoring 100.
512
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,759
Loads of people score hundreds, not many people get out on 99.
513
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,800
Nobody tracks them.
514
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,999
Hey, Stace. This side doors got a lock that
515
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,239
looks like I could have fitted it. I think we've got a winner.
516
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:44,960
Look, we're both grown-ups, it's Christmas...
517
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:47,839
...you probably like pepperoni...
518
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,280
so why don't we, you know... Why don't we just...
519
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,080
Nope. Can't do it.
520
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,840
Parnes Alarms. Get your mate Graham to buy you a pizza.
521
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,400
Stick it on his invoice.
522
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,759
England and New Zealand - really put on a show. - Mm-hm.
523
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,439
Absolutely, both teams showcased...
524
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,239
I like this house.
525
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:20,039
Great, Barry. Let's try and get in it.
526
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,919
Give me some... Put your weight on here, mate.
527
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,560
Three, two, one, go...
528
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,839
England are really missing Jimmy Anderson.
529
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,719
Hold up...
530
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,719
Open window at number 4. Get over here.
531
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:33,479
What? Number 4.
532
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,159
Number 4, OK.
533
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:39,160
England'll continue to miss Jimmy Anderson until the heat death of the universe.
534
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,799
Alright, kid?
535
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,759
Sound. - Sound. - Keep quiet.
536
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,119
You'd know if you could count.
537
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,600
Uh, he can roller-skate and you can't...
538
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,039
Won't budge. Must be on the night latch.
539
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:00,839
Aye!
540
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,080
There's a knack to these. Hold that.
541
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,039
Today. Thank you.
542
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,439
Right. All it is, is...
543
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,359
Just need...
544
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,999
Just a little...
545
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,880
And then, you're...
546
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,679
...in.
547
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,760
Ah, well. Thank God we had an expert.
548
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,759
Call. Tom. Petty.
549
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,759
Calling Tom Petty. Shh!
550
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,999
Pick up. Pick up... Oh, pick up!
551
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,719
Pick up, pick up, pick up...
552
00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,159
You useless git!
553
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,639
Seriously? Has it come to this? Neil!
554
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,199
No, no, no. Listen, listen.
555
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,959
Hello?
556
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,839
Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no
557
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,800
Oh, very mature.
558
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,439
You see this is why you don't get any pizza!
559
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,120
Well, this is new. Oh...
560
00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:53,159
There's somebody next door. At Bill and Janet's house.
561
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,960
Somebody's broken in!
562
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,080
No they haven't. They have! I heard them.
563
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:01,840
Heard what? Smashing glass!
564
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:06,039
It'll be a fox in the greenhouse. No, no, no.
565
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,039
There was a radio I think, like a...
566
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,559
Like a... Like a squeal. It'll be a fox.
567
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,519
I-It wasn't a fox!
568
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,359
Come on, we should at least check it out.
569
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,200
We're the Neighbourhood Watch.
570
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:20,560
Fine! I'll take a look.
571
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,760
Woah, woah, woah, wait for me.
572
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,680
Here we go.
573
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,760
What are you doing? I'm knocking.
574
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,639
Why? Because you think someone's in there.
575
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,439
And if I'm right, it's armed robbers!
576
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,080
What if they answer?
577
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,799
- Well, I don't know! - I thought you were a security expert.
578
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,639
I sell alarms, I don't personally take down criminals.
579
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,600
What you've done there is confuse me with a SWAT team.
580
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,360
Fat lot of good you are.
581
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,600
Well, what would you suggest?
582
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,880
Shh.
583
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,960
That's an answerphone.
584
00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:10,519
Not an answerphone, it's...
585
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,639
Oh...
586
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,599
When you used to... Answer-what?
587
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,280
Have you got cake in your ears? Come on!
588
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:19,999
We need to call the police.
589
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,639
Ow! Watch the bins!
590
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,680
You wouldn't want to crack it! Not now...
591
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,080
Kill the torch.
592
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,559
I thought you said you'd checked number 8, you lazy git!
593
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:36,239
I did!
594
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:39,840
Yeah. What with, your eyes shut? There's someone home.
595
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,039
I'll sort it...
596
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,320
Ooh. Don't tell your mum. Don't tell Mum.
597
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,600
Look, I know Christmas is a bit different this year, and I'm sorry.
598
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,280
It's fine.
599
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,239
I just think your dad's just having a bit of a wobble.
600
00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:23,919
You know, it's ben a tricky time this year, with the whole
601
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,279
Cause for Alarms business... It's "Causes"...
602
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,360
And I think he just needs some time...
603
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,439
But look, what I do know is that whatever happens,
604
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,440
however this plays out...
605
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,000
...it's gonna be OK. Alright?
606
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,440
Promise. Yeah.
607
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,679
I think the best thing that you and I can do for Dad right now,
608
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,199
is to give him some space.
609
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,840
Some quiet time, to get his head together.
610
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,879
Burglars! At least two! Maybe more!
611
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,599
Definitely not foxes!
612
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,119
Not foxes! How long will you be?
613
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,079
OK, just please, hurry!
614
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,319
Wish it was foxes... The police are on their way.
615
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,439
They just said stay in the house. keep out of sight.
616
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,639
No one will even know we're in here.
617
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,400
I know you're in there.
618
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,039
Oi, are you letting me in, or are we gonna play a game?
619
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,839
Oh, no...
620
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,480
Woah!
621
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,479
Little Barry Brennan!
622
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,759
- Who? - The Brennans. "The Devils of Davenport"?
623
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,640
Don't you read the papers? Oh no, I mean, not so much.
624
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,599
Local crime family. Hard as nails.
625
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,519
And that out there is the big one.
626
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,159
What? "Little Barry" is the big one?
627
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,239
Yes. Son of Big Barry. How big's Big Barry?
628
00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:10,839
Oh, he's tiny. It's very confusing. But they're psychopaths,
629
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,999
- the lot of them! - You know, for a home security expert,
630
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,399
you are not massively reassuring. Come on, you don't wanna wind me up.
631
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,959
Last warning!
632
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,079
Security! It's an X-50!
633
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,599
What is? The front door.
634
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,159
I fitted an X-50, top of the range!
635
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:27,359
That is a double-skinned, reinforced, tri-bar, steel trough rim lock door,
636
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,559
with a 12-point dog latch and a five-lever mortice.
637
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,520
A whole army couldn't get through that thing!
638
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,359
Did you leave it on the latch?
639
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,040
I think you know the answer to that.
640
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,160
I know you're here!
641
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,760
To the safe room. Oh, you beauty.
642
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,760
Mind the stairs!
643
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,239
Wait! My phone!
644
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:12,880
Leave it!
645
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,119
Quick! Lock it! It doesn't lock.
646
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:25,999
I thought this was the "safe room"?
647
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,680
No, it's the room that we keep the safe in.
648
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:33,039
You have got to be kidding me.
649
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,399
Are you sure you're in - home security? - Are you sure you know
650
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,760
what home security means? - Hello? - Shh, shh, shh.
651
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,160
Little pig...
652
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,640
Little pig...
653
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:31,680
Let me come in.
654
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,359
He's on the stairs.
655
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,000
Stop hiding, little pig.
656
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,639
Where the hell are the cops?
657
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:42,280
The average police response time is 16.4 minutes.
658
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,039
It's a good stat for sales.
659
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,039
It's not a good stat for us!
660
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,519
What have you got - that could be a weapon? - Nothing.
661
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,960
It's a spare room. Just caps, alarms, a big box of mugs.
662
00:44:56,800 --> 00:45:00,040
Little pig, little pig...
663
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,799
Hang on... "Little pig".
664
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,719
What? Not "little pigs", "little pig".
665
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:09,919
Singular. So?
666
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,760
He thinks there's only one of us.
667
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,119
Come on little pig... Don't make me blow it down.
668
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,799
OK! OK, I give up.
669
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,880
Just open the door. It's not locked.
670
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,560
Just take what you want. I don't want any trouble.
671
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:32,679
Sorry mate, you've seen my face now.
672
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:34,359
No. No, I haven't.
673
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:38,479
I can't see anything, I'm blind. Yeah, right.
674
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,599
What do I look like, some sort of-
675
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,079
"Mug"? Did you get him?
676
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:48,639
Yup! - Yes! - Come on!
677
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,520
Mind the stairs! Oh!
678
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,479
We need to leg it. Grab hold.
679
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,759
What's happening? Oh, more Brennans.
680
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:15,800
Change of plan. We need to hide.
681
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:18,760
In the Sierra!
682
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,479
Woo! Get in!
683
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,120
Owwww!
684
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,479
Oh... What's that noise?
685
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:44,839
I don't know.
686
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,879
Oh God, I'm going to die in a Sierra.
687
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,279
Oh, thank God. Woah, woah, woah!
688
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,519
Let's actually wait until they've arrested the big angry man
689
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,240
who wants to kill us, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
690
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,119
It really must be Christmas.
691
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,560
They've only gone and sent the PCSOs.
692
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,960
"Hobby Bobbies". "Hobby Bobbies"?
693
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,200
I'll call for back up.
694
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:44,719
Merry Christmas, officers.
695
00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:49,080
Evening sir. We received a report of a disturbance at this address.
696
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,200
Someone heard something being smashed.
697
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,319
Did they? Smashed, you say.
698
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:58,679
Um, well, no, no.
699
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,479
It's probably nothing sir, but perhaps we could just pop in
700
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,679
and check your windows? Make sure you're safe.
701
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:08,839
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no...
702
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:11,920
because...
703
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,560
Oh!
704
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,919
Good evening, officers.
705
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:20,479
That's my lady wife.
706
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,279
Bit of a collision.
707
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,119
No lights, you see.
708
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,999
Are you alright to be here on your own?
709
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:30,319
- Absolutely. - Yep. What with no lights, no heating?
710
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,839
Yeah, no, well, what it is actually is we're not actually staying here
711
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,319
because our daughter is on her way.
712
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,960
From Frome.
713
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:43,640
Yes. So, we're going to stay with them until the 27th or 28th.
714
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,559
In Frome. Or the 29th.
715
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,839
Then we shall be coming home.
716
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,319
From Frome.
717
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,039
Well, if you're sure you're OK?
718
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:54,799
Yes, fine. Very happy.
719
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,880
Fine, thank you. Very... Yes.
720
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,400
Merry Christmas! Ta-ta.
721
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,240
I'll tell you what... Huh?
722
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,999
The Sarge knocks off at 6:00, lives on Rowan Avenue.
723
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,679
I'll ask him to swing by on his way home, check everything's OK.
724
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:14,279
Oh, no. That's fine. There's no need.
725
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,399
He might be a bit tipsy, but he won't mind at all.
726
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,519
Merry Christmas, take care. Merry Christmas!
727
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,920
Merry Christmas!
728
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,679
The... The police are leaving!
729
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,480
What? Well, stop them then!
730
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,519
Ah! It won't unlock!
731
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,359
Oh... This is a terrible car!
732
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,719
Hang on! Wait! Wait!
733
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:42,960
Here. Try mine! It's central locking! It won't...
734
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,599
You've got your hand on the... Ow!
735
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,799
He's back! Who is? Big Barry?
736
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,720
No, Little Barry: the big one.
737
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,519
We need to get out of here.
738
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,759
I say we make a run for it. With the whackjob Waltons out there?
739
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,759
No, thank you. Well, what shall we do then?
740
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,959
I don't know.
741
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,839
I don't suppose this rust bucket has got airbags and an alarm, does it?
742
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,879
It's got all the extras. It's a top of the range rust bucket.
743
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,439
I've got an idea...
744
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,920
Whatever - that is, shut it up! - I'll sort it.
745
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,080
Gotcha.
746
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,840
Snow escape, bozo!
747
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,559
Is he secure?
748
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,279
Yes!
749
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,359
Quick, in the shed.
750
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,159
I'm just saying that if we leave a couple of houses, that would-
751
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:15,559
...defeat the object. We go big or go home...
752
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:18,079
And we're not going home. Ash, bring the van round.
753
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,919
But we've got the dibble at 6:00.
754
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:21,759
I don't think we've got enough time.
755
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,400
Then we split up.
756
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,240
What, over this?
757
00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:30,000
I don't want to. I love you, Stace.
758
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,119
No. I mean I'll take this end with Fanny-Anne,
759
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,159
and you boys take number five.
760
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,440
Oh, right. Ooh, the big telly!
761
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,239
Yeah, I'll get the big telly. On your own?
762
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:44,359
It's the same size as you.
763
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,800
Junior, can you get backside over to number five please?
764
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,480
Your dad's about to wreck a very nice television.
765
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,999
We're here, in you go.
766
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,120
Ah, yes! Watch your head.
767
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,079
What now? Yeah, well, I was just thinking that.
768
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:07,039
Right, my plan would be... to wait here...
769
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,120
Right? Until it gets light.
770
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:16,239
That's it? That's your plan? They're out there ransacking
771
00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:18,559
our entire street and you just want to hide in here?
772
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,239
We need to do something. We are the Neighbourhood Watch.
773
00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:24,959
Exactly. Neighbourhood "Watch". It's not Neighbourhood "Do", is it?
774
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,999
And even if it was, we've done plenty.
775
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,439
We phoned the police, for all the good they were, and we have
776
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,519
gaffer-taped a thug to a Sierra. I think we've done
777
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,879
more than our fair share, and now its time
778
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,039
for a little self preservation, thank you very much.
779
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,519
But our neighbours- Are insured! And will completely
780
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,160
understand our desire to remain alive.
781
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:43,800
Fine.
782
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,839
OK. If you can live with that.
783
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,640
Yeah. I can.
784
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,560
Ooh, I can see the headlines now:
785
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:59,320
"Security expert hides in shed while own street ransacked". Ha, yeah.
786
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:02,759
That wouldn't be a headline. It's too long.
787
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,599
"Alarm Coward's Shed Shame".
788
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,079
Yeah, that's better.
789
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,360
Ooh, he'd probably frame it, you know...
790
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,200
In his shop.
791
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,960
Graham.
792
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,520
We need a plan.
793
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,039
Come on. Come to Daddy.
794
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,159
Resistance is futile.
795
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:46,959
Oh, finally!
796
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:51,320
Come give us a hand son. Or maybe you could give us a hand?
797
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,720
In fact, make it both of them.
798
00:53:58,520 --> 00:53:59,880
Who the hell are you?
799
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:02,600
Neighbourhood Watch.
800
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:07,000
Blimey. You lot got serious.
801
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:10,959
Cuff him, Rocco. Um, yeah.
802
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,520
Do you think it would be better if maybe you...
803
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,159
Actually, yeah.
804
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,360
I'll cuff him. You cover him.
805
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:35,920
Keep still sunshine.
806
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,639
This doesn't need to hurt.
807
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,439
Grab him! Get him off me! Gah!
808
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:54,279
Grab him!
809
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,359
I've got him! I've got him!
810
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:05,760
No, I've got him! No! He's got me. I've got him!
811
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:09,079
There's nothing there. Well, she's deleted it now,
812
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,799
but you could see Dad's Sierra
813
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,959
Well, there are other Sierra's in the world.
814
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:16,479
Not in that condition. And he's used the wrong "your".
815
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,279
He's put "your" instead of "you are".
816
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:20,999
Chloe, he says he's fine. The last thing we need is another
817
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,199
delusional neurotic in the family. Just... stop fretting.
818
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,399
Ah, forget it. Chloe...
819
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:32,799
Looks like we've got ourselves some witnesses
820
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,999
I've seen nothing. I'd make a terrible witness me, awful.
821
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,599
I don't know who any of you are. Seriously?
822
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,800
You're cosying up to the Brennans. Well, he knows who we are now.
823
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,119
Oh, brilliant. Another masterclass from the so called expert.
824
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:47,919
Expert at what?
825
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,200
Evidently nothing.
826
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:52,999
Cause for Alarms?
827
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,839
Causes.
828
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:56,919
You didn't tell me these were branded!
829
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,439
Shut up, Graham!
830
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,079
Eh? Graham?
831
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,359
One of your cameras...
832
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:06,680
put me behind bars for three years, Neil.
833
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,679
I can only apologise for the excellent resolution.
834
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:13,559
No apology necessary.
835
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,240
It makes all this a lot easier.
836
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:23,040
So, shall we get started?
837
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,320
We've only got a few hours, they're going nowhere.
838
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:31,879
You're right. Let's finish the job, then we'll finish them.
839
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:33,600
I'll be back.
840
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,279
Right, I'll take this telly. Come here love.
841
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,840
Oh, yeah.
842
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:44,920
Oh, quality, that.
843
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:48,639
Friend of yours? Not really.
844
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:51,000
Shame... You'll be seeing him soon.
845
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,359
We could be in a nice warm shed now.
846
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,039
Sitting pretty.
847
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:53,119
But oh, no, you had to act the big hero.
848
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,719
Me?! None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried
849
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:59,759
to blow up the whole street. Well, I had to try something
850
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,919
after you'd turned the whole neighbourhood against me.
851
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,719
Oh, I think you did that all on your own, mate.
852
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:07,680
Don't you "mate" me!
853
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:12,999
Everything was fine until you moved in with your weird little vendetta.
854
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,679
No one gave a damn about my Sierra until you started stirring things up.
855
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:22,959
I mean, why? You can't even see it! Why does it matter to you
856
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:25,800
what I put on my own front drive- It wasn't me!
857
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:31,520
What? It wasn't me...
858
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:34,760
...who complained about the car.
859
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:37,480
It was John.
860
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:43,800
He said he got sick of it sitting there rusting away.
861
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:46,920
It was him that phoned the council.
862
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,280
Why didn't...
863
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:53,759
Well, why didn't you say something before?
864
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,640
I thought about it...
865
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,200
...but you've seen it.
866
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:01,920
How people are with me.
867
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:04,479
Yeah, they're nice.
868
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,959
Bringing in your shopping, taking you to the pub,
869
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,240
helping with your lights...
870
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:11,640
It's kind is it?
871
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,120
And why are they so nice?
872
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,360
Is it cos I'm nice?
873
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:24,520
People just treat you different when you're... different.
874
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:29,119
Well, not everyone. I mean, Suki always took people
875
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:32,280
as she found them. Who the hell's Suki?
876
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:35,719
My wife...
877
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,120
Well, late wife.
878
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,680
She was funny, warm.
879
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,440
But straight-talking.
880
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:50,760
My daughter's the same.
881
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,560
Oh. I- Holly.
882
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:57,559
She's studying Law at Leeds.
883
00:59:57,560 --> 01:00:00,200
That's why I moved here. Just to be a bit closer.
884
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,999
And don't get me wrong, they're nice around here.
885
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,159
But I could take a dump in their living room,
886
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,719
and they'd be like, "Oh, don't worry about that, that's OK."
887
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,640
they were gonna let me run the Neighbourhood Watch, for God's sake.
888
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:18,200
You can almost smell the sympathy sometimes... But not you.
889
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,200
You didn't give a toss.
890
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:24,199
I mean in my defence, I've been going through
891
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:26,479
quite a bad time over the last few months
892
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,119
No, it's good.
893
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,440
I think I need it, a bit of that, now it's just me.
894
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,119
So, maybe I let you think the worst of me.
895
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:39,360
Kept things a bit difficult between us. Like a guarantee.
896
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:42,719
That I'd always be that git over the road...
897
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,519
and you'd never start talking to me like I'm the poor blind guy
898
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,119
from number 3. Because I'm not, you know.
899
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:50,960
I am Scott Patrick Dixon, and I nicked your bin.
900
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:53,120
I bloody knew it!
901
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:05,360
Sorry you lost your wife.
902
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,400
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it.
903
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:21,760
Right. Push against me.
904
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:25,519
What's happening? We are getting out of here.
905
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:27,879
Oh, now you're talking! On 3...
906
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:29,319
2... 1!
907
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,960
Right. Now bounce to your right. OK!
908
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:39,839
What are you doing? Well, your right or my right?
909
01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:41,839
No, no! Not my right. Your left!
910
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:43,759
Sorry. How far?
911
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,200
Oh, follow me, just... This isn't working!
912
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,439
I think we can burn through the cable ties, but...
913
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,439
Do you think you can catch a lighter? I'm a pretty good catch mate.
914
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,359
I play a bit of cricket. But you're...
915
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:58,720
Yeah, I know. It's a thing.
916
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:01,559
OK. Here we go then,
917
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:03,919
Right. - Ready? - Yep...
918
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:05,560
Now!
919
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:07,959
Well, did you catch it?
920
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,079
Oh it was very wide...
921
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,759
but, luckily, one of us is a professional!
922
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,080
Oh, you little beaut!
923
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:17,400
Stay still.
924
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:21,880
Oh!
925
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:25,080
Right. They said a few hours.
926
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:28,440
Which means we haven't got long. Do you think it's enough time?
927
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:33,199
Maybe. If we just... you know, work together.
928
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:34,719
I'm game if you are.
929
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:36,799
Do you reckon we could get them back to my place?
930
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:39,679
I've got a few ideas but it would need to be on home turf,
931
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:43,040
where I know my way around. Back to yours it is. Oh, and...
932
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:47,199
...while we're being honest, that postman, the other day...
933
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,000
that was me.
934
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,160
How stupid do you think I am?
935
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:53,679
I know more about what's going on
936
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:55,320
around me than you will ever realise.
937
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:00,920
Oh! What are you doing? Eh! Eh!
938
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:03,559
Get off! Idiot!
939
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:27,239
All we need now is some burglars.
940
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,119
Shh! Shh!
941
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:35,719
Shh... Listen, Little Barry.
942
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:39,000
If we take this out your mouth, do you promise not to scream?
943
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:41,560
OK.
944
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,880
Mum-m-m-m!
945
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:51,439
Alright, I owe you a tenner.
946
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,160
Oi, you two. Go find him!
947
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:06,040
There!
948
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:12,480
Son?
949
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,560
Barry?
950
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,679
I'm blind! Join the club.
951
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,199
Where's the walkie? I can't find it!
952
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:29,799
This way big man.
953
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,240
Try not to be so clumsy.
954
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,800
Dad down, number three. Come here!
955
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:51,759
Come here! No!
956
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:53,400
Stop it. Argh!
957
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:56,279
Oh, don't... Here!
958
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,879
No point struggling. I've done rodeo.
959
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:00,799
What are you doing?!
960
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:02,400
Argh!
961
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:06,439
No! What are you doing?!
962
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:09,280
Give me my legs. Give me my legs back!
963
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:12,759
Dad! Dad!
964
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:15,439
Huh?! Dad! Dad!
965
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:18,639
OK.dad... OK.Pull!
966
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:22,720
Dad? Dad...
967
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:24,879
You!
968
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:26,559
Get me out!
969
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,600
Dad? Come here, you!
970
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:31,559
Dad? Dad!
971
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:41,119
Argh! What are you doing?! Taking what's mine!
972
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:42,919
Well, Chloe's.
973
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,079
And stealing something...
974
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,999
No, no, not my phone! Not my phone!
975
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:50,599
You started this! Put it back!
976
01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:52,239
Put my phone back now!
977
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:54,759
What's your code? As if I'd tell you!
978
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:57,040
Fine. I'll use your face!
979
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:13,839
Go get 'em mum!
980
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:15,800
Ow!
981
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,160
I know every floorboard in this room.
982
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:39,360
Every creak, every crack, every squeak of a nail.
983
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:44,200
So why don't you come over here, and try and take this wicket...
984
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:47,280
I dare you.
985
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:03,079
Ooh!
986
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:22,559
Ah! Had enough yet?
987
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:25,199
Ahhh...
988
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:28,759
Mm... I'm waiting.
989
01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:53,959
Couple of googlies?
990
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:02,639
Yes, yes, yes, that's right.
991
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:06,040
Yeah, it's 3 Staplethorne Close.
992
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:10,399
It's over!
993
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:13,679
I'm on the phone to the police right now, so you may as well...
994
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:27,239
There ain't no one coming to rescue you now, pal.
995
01:08:27,240 --> 01:08:29,480
It's just you and me
996
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:38,840
Where do you think you're going? Narnia?
997
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:57,359
£200 plus VAT.
998
01:08:57,360 --> 01:08:59,439
But you can't put a price on peace of mind.
999
01:08:59,440 --> 01:09:01,880
Oh, and close the door when you're using the bathroom eh?
1000
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:08,880
No!
1001
01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,000
No!
1002
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:18,199
I've done my time!
1003
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,879
Mum! Mum!
1004
01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:37,360
Help me, my legs, my legs!
1005
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:42,599
Scott! Neil! Absolutely smashed it mate.
1006
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:44,799
That was amazing! Is there anything we can't do?!
1007
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:47,839
High five! Yeah!
1008
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:49,479
Help me...
1009
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:51,399
Barry is that you? Give us a hand.
1010
01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:54,720
Would you... Everyone just like to stop talking at once, please?
1011
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:01,320
Are you alright? Hm!
1012
01:10:04,480 --> 01:10:06,320
No, no, no!
1013
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:14,280
You stay with her. I'll get the van.
1014
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:17,240
We're getting out of here.
1015
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:21,279
It's the mum. She's getting away!
1016
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,880
Oh, no, no, no. Not on our watch. No chance. Come on!
1017
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:29,920
Get in the car! Oh, not again!
1018
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:35,440
Hello. It's us again.
1019
01:10:37,240 --> 01:10:39,479
Right, what are we doing? Reversing the car,
1020
01:10:39,480 --> 01:10:42,999
blocking the drive, stopping the van. In-In this thing?! Are you mad?
1021
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,359
This hasn't moved anywhere in years. It's falling apart.
1022
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:48,759
- Even I can see that! - It'll start. Trust me, it's top of the range.
1023
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:53,279
Well come on, turn it on then!
1024
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:55,759
It'll start!
1025
01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:58,440
Oh, I told ya! John's got more life in him than this car.
1026
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:07,680
Ha-ha! Woo-hoo!
1027
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:12,959
Scott! Grab the wheel! Which way?
1028
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:14,999
I don't know! Busy getting killed here!
1029
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:16,360
Woah!
1030
01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:19,599
Put it in first! OK, which way?
1031
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:20,959
Right! You're right or my right?
1032
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:22,520
They're both the same! Oh, yeah!
1033
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:28,640
Reverse! OK, reverse!
1034
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:32,880
Mind the cat!
1035
01:11:34,440 --> 01:11:35,639
Argh!
1036
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,959
You told me to steer! Barry's got the wheel!
1037
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:39,960
I've got the wheel. We've all got the wheel!
1038
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:11,040
Mum-m-m!
1039
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:45,600
Well, well, well.
1040
01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:58,240
Any last words? Ow...
1041
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:02,720
It's really hard to think of something when you're under pressure.
1042
01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:06,879
I'll give you Cause for ruddy Alarm!
1043
01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:13,520
It's "Causes".
1044
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,240
Oh my God!
1045
01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:28,720
That was...
1046
01:13:29,560 --> 01:13:32,359
What are you... I thought you were in trouble.
1047
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:35,000
Dad...
1048
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:38,920
I cut through the park.
1049
01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:41,760
I don't care!
1050
01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:48,159
Chloe, is that you?
1051
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:49,560
Hi, Scott!
1052
01:13:51,480 --> 01:13:53,000
I think she just saved my life!
1053
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:58,000
Ha-ha-ha! Have you ever thought of joining the Neighbourhood Watch?
1054
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:05,960
Oh, stick a sponge in it you.
1055
01:14:14,480 --> 01:14:16,879
Stay still. Stay still.
1056
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:19,240
Stay still. You've had a mild concussion.
1057
01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:24,000
Yes, sarge. I can confirm it's all four of the Brennan family.
1058
01:14:31,160 --> 01:14:34,039
Stop, stop, please. Stop!
1059
01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:37,159
Stop! Stop!
1060
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:39,319
Stop it! So it's, uh, Graham?
1061
01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:41,719
No, it's Scott. This is... This isn't mine.
1062
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:44,320
We, um... - We don't talk about Graham.
1063
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:50,079
No way! My dad.
1064
01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:52,359
My daughter. No way! No way!
1065
01:14:52,360 --> 01:14:56,119
That's my phone! That's... my phone! Come on. Come on!
1066
01:14:56,120 --> 01:14:59,359
Stop filming. Stop filming!
1067
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:01,999
Excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery!
1068
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:03,719
Come on.
1069
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:05,959
I know my rights! Do you hear me?
1070
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:07,959
Get in the van. Come on.
1071
01:15:13,480 --> 01:15:15,680
At least we're together for Christmas.
1072
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:20,599
It's Christmas Day, and we are live at Staplethorne Close.
1073
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:23,119
And I'm joined by... Scott.
1074
01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:26,359
Chloe. Neil Beesley.
1075
01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:28,519
Causes for Alarms.
1076
01:15:28,520 --> 01:15:30,160
Shouldn't it be- No, don't.
1077
01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:33,479
Christmas is indeed a time for giving...
1078
01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:36,280
Chloe! Up you get, we're doing presents.
1079
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:41,119
Now, tell me Scott, would you describe yourself as a hero?
1080
01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:44,039
I would say that Chloe is the real hero here, er,
1081
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:46,239
would you say so Neil? Yeah.
1082
01:15:46,240 --> 01:15:49,880
But I think that "Christmas Miracle" - pretty much sums it up. - Mum!
1083
01:15:50,920 --> 01:15:53,439
And do you have a message for our viewers at home?
1084
01:15:53,440 --> 01:15:54,959
Merry Christmas!
1085
01:15:54,960 --> 01:15:56,600
Hi, Holly!
1086
01:16:08,760 --> 01:16:10,159
Chloe? Mum!
1087
01:16:10,160 --> 01:16:12,600
Oh my God! Are you alright?! Yeah, I'm fine.
1088
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:29,880
I'm sorry.
1089
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,040
I am. I'm really, really sorry.
1090
01:16:45,720 --> 01:16:47,600
You're an idiot. I know.
1091
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:52,280
But I love you.
1092
01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:00,199
Ow, what's that? Oh.
1093
01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:02,319
I didn't get a chance to wrap it but, uh...
1094
01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:05,199
Ta-da! Thank you! Thank you!
1095
01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:07,600
Oh! Come on, let's go in.
1096
01:17:08,360 --> 01:17:10,319
Why are you dressed like that? Long story.
1097
01:17:10,320 --> 01:17:11,959
I'll tell you over pizza.
1098
01:17:16,960 --> 01:17:18,560
Hang on a sec.
1099
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:25,559
Scott, you were amazing. Thanks so much.
1100
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:27,879
Thanks Melanie, and Merry Christmas, guys.
1101
01:17:27,880 --> 01:17:29,759
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas to you too.
1102
01:17:29,760 --> 01:17:31,519
Indeed. Scott...
1103
01:17:31,520 --> 01:17:33,520
Neil.
1104
01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:36,239
I was just wondering, I've, uh...
1105
01:17:36,240 --> 01:17:38,480
It's not very festive, but I've got a...
1106
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:41,879
...three-quarters of a room temperature
1107
01:17:41,880 --> 01:17:43,960
pepperoni pizza... Sounds good to me.
1108
01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:47,079
Come on mate, lead the way.
1109
01:17:49,720 --> 01:17:51,279
What a night!
1110
01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:53,600
I couldn't have done it without ya.
1111
01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:56,239
Well, I couldn't have done it without you!
1112
01:17:56,240 --> 01:17:57,880
Ha. Yeah, I know.
1113
01:17:59,320 --> 01:18:01,439
Merry Christmas, Scott.
1114
01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,080
Merry Christmas, Neil.
1115
01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:38,000
Ha-ha!
1116
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:42,199
Would you like a mince pie? One of mum's specials.
1117
01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:44,479
Oh, lovely. Chloe? Chloe?
1118
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:47,079
Go on. Try some. Join in.
1119
01:18:47,080 --> 01:18:48,720
Save one for Holly.
1120
01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:53,240
Dad, Sabrina. Did somebody say mistletoe?
1121
01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:04,359
Right everyone, look this way. Big photo. Big poses.
1122
01:19:04,360 --> 01:19:08,400
In 3... 2, 1...
1123
01:19:09,600 --> 01:19:11,200
Cheers!
81960
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