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You're traveling
through another dimension-
4
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:15,938
a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind.
5
00:00:16,439 --> 00:00:17,940
A journey into a wondrous land
6
00:00:17,975 --> 00:00:20,443
whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
7
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,445
That's the signpost up ahead.
8
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,146
Your next stop,
the twilight zone.
9
00:00:52,475 --> 00:00:53,976
A honey
from hunnicut!
10
00:00:54,011 --> 00:00:55,478
Drive it in
good health!
11
00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:01,484
Too much power, eh?
12
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,421
We're just looking.
13
00:01:27,456 --> 00:01:28,922
Well, that's what
we want you to do.
14
00:01:28,957 --> 00:01:30,424
Nobody pushes you
around here.
15
00:01:30,459 --> 00:01:31,625
No, sir, young man.
16
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:34,127
Around here, you can pause,
exhale, check, recheck,
17
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,128
think, peruse, contemplate,
18
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,130
wade through,
thumb over, dip into.
19
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,131
Be my guest, folks.
20
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,133
We were thinking of
maybe a little coupe-
21
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,635
something
around $500-
22
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:43,637
but as late
a model as we can...
23
00:01:43,672 --> 00:01:45,339
late?
24
00:01:45,374 --> 00:01:47,341
You shock me, you know that?
25
00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:49,343
You know your husband
shocked me just then?
26
00:01:49,378 --> 00:01:50,344
Well, he was only...
27
00:01:50,379 --> 00:01:51,845
do you know why
you shocked me?
28
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,547
I'll tell you why
you shocked me.
29
00:01:53,582 --> 00:01:55,048
It's because you've succumbed
30
00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:58,051
to the propaganda
of every cement-headed clod
31
00:01:58,086 --> 00:01:59,052
up and down this street.
32
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,054
I said propaganda.
33
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,110
They like to push
the late models,
34
00:02:04,111 --> 00:02:05,077
They do, don't they?
35
00:02:05,112 --> 00:02:07,579
You know why they
push the late models?
36
00:02:07,614 --> 00:02:10,082
You think it's
because they're honest,
37
00:02:10,117 --> 00:02:12,584
law-abiding, rigidly
moral churchgoers?
38
00:02:12,619 --> 00:02:14,086
Let me tell you
something, young man.
39
00:02:14,121 --> 00:02:15,087
They push...
40
00:02:16,255 --> 00:02:17,721
they push the late models
41
00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:19,723
because that is
where the profit margin is.
42
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:22,726
They'll cram those
post-'54s down your gullet
43
00:02:22,761 --> 00:02:25,114
because they would rather
make a buck than a friend.
44
00:02:25,115 --> 00:02:27,082
They would rather
make a profit
45
00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:28,083
than a relationship.
46
00:02:28,118 --> 00:02:30,085
They would rather
cram their wallets
47
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,587
full of cash
48
00:02:31,622 --> 00:02:34,089
than fill their hearts
with the fellowship
49
00:02:34,124 --> 00:02:35,204
of men to men.
50
00:02:35,205 --> 00:02:36,171
We're really
just looking
51
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:37,672
for a good
transportation car,
52
00:02:37,707 --> 00:02:38,010
and we thought
the newer the car...
53
00:02:38,011 --> 00:02:40,478
new? That's where you've
completely gone wrong.
54
00:02:40,979 --> 00:02:42,981
That's where you've
suddenly gone amiss.
55
00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:45,984
That's the juncture that's
headed you into a blind alley.
56
00:02:46,019 --> 00:02:47,485
You don't want a new car.
57
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,487
You don't want one
of those rinky-dink,
58
00:02:49,522 --> 00:02:51,489
slapped-together
on an assembly line,
59
00:02:51,524 --> 00:02:52,991
covered with
chintzy chrome,
60
00:02:53,026 --> 00:02:55,994
fin tails, idiotic names
and no more workmanship
61
00:02:56,029 --> 00:02:57,495
than you can stick
into a thimble.
62
00:02:59,409 --> 00:03:01,010
No.
63
00:03:01,045 --> 00:03:03,012
I'll tell you what you want.
64
00:03:03,047 --> 00:03:06,015
You want the craftsmanship
that comes with age
65
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:08,518
the dependability
of proven performers
66
00:03:08,553 --> 00:03:12,021
the dignity of
traditional transportation.
67
00:03:12,056 --> 00:03:14,023
This is what you want.
68
00:03:14,058 --> 00:03:16,025
A '38 coupe.
69
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:19,028
It'll get you where
you want to go.
70
00:03:19,063 --> 00:03:20,530
It'll get you back.
71
00:03:22,532 --> 00:03:25,034
This, as the banner
already has proclaimed
72
00:03:25,069 --> 00:03:26,536
is mr. Harvey hunnicut-
73
00:03:26,571 --> 00:03:28,538
an expert on commerce
and con jobs
74
00:03:28,573 --> 00:03:31,541
a brash, bright and larceny-
loaded wheeler and dealer
75
00:03:31,576 --> 00:03:34,544
who when the good lord
passed out a conscience
76
00:03:34,579 --> 00:03:37,046
must have gone
for a beer and missed out.
77
00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:39,549
And these are a couple
of other characters-
78
00:03:39,584 --> 00:03:41,551
a little old man
in a model-a car
79
00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:45,054
but not just any old man
and not just any model-a.
80
00:03:45,089 --> 00:03:47,557
There's something
very special about them.
81
00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:51,060
In a few moments, they'll give
harvey hunnicut something
82
00:03:51,095 --> 00:03:53,563
that he's never
experienced before.
83
00:03:53,598 --> 00:03:55,565
Through the good offices
of a little magic
84
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,567
they will unload on mr. Hunnicut
85
00:03:57,602 --> 00:03:59,569
the absolute necessity
to tell the truth.
86
00:03:59,604 --> 00:04:02,071
Where they come from
is conjecturable
87
00:04:02,106 --> 00:04:04,574
but as to where they're
heading, this we know:
88
00:04:04,609 --> 00:04:07,577
Because all of them and you
are on the threshold
89
00:04:07,612 --> 00:04:09,078
of the twilight zone.
90
00:04:12,081 --> 00:04:14,083
And did you know
that the original prototype
91
00:04:14,584 --> 00:04:16,085
of this car
was the mark ii tank?
92
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,088
When you go down the freeway,
everybody else, out of the way!
93
00:04:19,123 --> 00:04:21,591
Where the gearshift is
used to be the cannon.
94
00:04:21,626 --> 00:04:24,093
Now, why don't you and i
sit down and talk turkey
95
00:04:24,128 --> 00:04:26,596
because this baby is
the one you're going to buy.
96
00:04:26,631 --> 00:04:29,599
This baby is the one that
you're going to drive off...
97
00:04:29,634 --> 00:04:31,100
well,
first of all...
98
00:04:31,135 --> 00:04:32,602
could we look
it over a bit?
99
00:04:32,637 --> 00:04:33,603
Look!
100
00:04:34,103 --> 00:04:34,604
Here, sit in it.
101
00:04:34,639 --> 00:04:36,105
Get the feel of it.
102
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,106
Relish in the luxury.
103
00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:39,108
See how they built cars
in the days
104
00:04:39,609 --> 00:04:41,110
when cars were really built!
105
00:04:41,145 --> 00:04:42,612
Come on, young fellow!
106
00:04:42,647 --> 00:04:44,113
You, too, madam.
107
00:04:44,148 --> 00:04:45,114
Park yourself in there
108
00:04:45,149 --> 00:04:47,617
and enjoy it to
your heart's content.
109
00:04:47,652 --> 00:04:50,119
Boy, you know what
you really should have
110
00:04:50,154 --> 00:04:52,121
when you sit
in a car like this?
111
00:04:52,156 --> 00:04:54,123
Candlelight,
a bottle of good wine
112
00:04:54,158 --> 00:04:56,125
because this baby here
has dignity.
113
00:04:58,162 --> 00:05:01,130
Relax for a minute,
i'll be right back.
114
00:05:09,238 --> 00:05:10,239
Oh, how do you do.
115
00:05:10,274 --> 00:05:11,741
Well, that depends, grandpa.
116
00:05:11,776 --> 00:05:13,242
If you came here
to park this
117
00:05:13,277 --> 00:05:14,744
i'll just charge you
nominal rates
118
00:05:14,779 --> 00:05:16,245
but if you're here
to sell it
119
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,246
you'll have to give me
120
00:05:17,281 --> 00:05:19,248
three and a half minutes
for my little laugh.
121
00:05:22,251 --> 00:05:24,253
I'll give you 15 bucks for it.
122
00:05:24,288 --> 00:05:26,255
Any junkman will give you 12.
123
00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:29,258
The smithsonian might top
us both by a buck or two.
124
00:05:29,293 --> 00:05:31,260
It's a wonderful old car
125
00:05:31,295 --> 00:05:35,264
and they built them better
in the old days, i think.
126
00:05:35,299 --> 00:05:36,366
Ah, grandfather dear
127
00:05:36,401 --> 00:05:37,867
that is the old
rhubarb, the saw
128
00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,869
the turkey everybody
and his brother
129
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,371
is trying to pull
on the open market.
130
00:05:41,406 --> 00:05:43,873
Cars were built better
in the old days, ha!
131
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:44,874
Ten years ago
132
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,376
they didn't know
how to build cars.
133
00:05:46,411 --> 00:05:47,877
Now it's the new
cars that sell.
134
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:48,878
Don't mind these.
135
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,380
It's the new cars
that sell.
136
00:05:50,415 --> 00:05:51,381
It's the new cars
that run.
137
00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:52,882
It's the new cars
138
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:55,385
that combine the genius
of mind, muscle
139
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,386
and the assembly line.
140
00:05:56,421 --> 00:05:57,887
Oh, please...
141
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,889
but i'll tell you
what i'll do for you
142
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,391
because i love
your face.
143
00:06:01,426 --> 00:06:03,393
You remind me of
my own grandfather
144
00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:05,395
rest his soul,
a man of dignity
145
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:07,397
down through his
declining years
146
00:06:07,432 --> 00:06:10,400
until he died rescuing a
capsized boatload of people
147
00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:11,401
on the east river.
148
00:06:11,436 --> 00:06:13,403
I'll give you
25 bucks for it.
149
00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:14,904
Probably have
to tear it down
150
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,906
sell it wheel by
wheel, bolt by bolt
151
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:19,409
to any itinerant junkman
that comes around
152
00:06:19,909 --> 00:06:20,410
but 25 i'll go.
153
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:21,911
$25?
154
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,413
Mm-hmm.
155
00:06:23,448 --> 00:06:24,914
I kind of need
the money
156
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,916
but couldn't
you make it 30?
157
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,418
You try me,
old friend.
158
00:06:28,453 --> 00:06:29,919
What does that mean?
159
00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:32,922
That means that
25 is going, going...
160
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,425
that means that
25 is... gone!
161
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:36,426
There we are.
162
00:06:36,461 --> 00:06:37,927
Ten, 20, and 25.
163
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:38,928
There we are.
164
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:41,431
Now, i'll tell you
what you do.
165
00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:44,434
You go in that
little office there.
166
00:06:44,469 --> 00:06:47,437
You take your car
registration papers
167
00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:49,439
with you,
and hold it...
168
00:06:49,474 --> 00:06:52,442
did i say car?
169
00:06:52,477 --> 00:06:54,444
Vehicle, hmm.
170
00:06:54,479 --> 00:06:55,945
Now, here, hmm.
171
00:07:12,962 --> 00:07:14,464
Comfy?
172
00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:47,497
Signed, sealed and
delivered, mr. Uh...
173
00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:48,498
hunnicut.
174
00:07:48,533 --> 00:07:49,999
Oh, yes, and here
are the keys.
175
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,501
Thank you.
176
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:53,503
Oh, by the way,
mr. Hunnicut.
177
00:07:53,538 --> 00:07:55,004
There is one other
small item
178
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,007
i ought to mention
to you about the car.
179
00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,509
Do, do.
180
00:07:59,544 --> 00:08:01,511
It's haunted.
181
00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:03,412
Haunted?
182
00:08:03,447 --> 00:08:04,413
You don't say.
183
00:08:04,448 --> 00:08:06,315
Oh, yes,
without a doubt.
184
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:07,817
The car is
quite haunted.
185
00:08:07,852 --> 00:08:09,318
It's been haunted
186
00:08:09,353 --> 00:08:12,321
ever since it came off
the assembly line
187
00:08:12,356 --> 00:08:14,323
and every single
one of its owners
188
00:08:14,358 --> 00:08:16,325
can attest
to this fact.
189
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,827
Well, now,
i don't suppose
190
00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:20,830
you'd mind telling me
how it's haunted, hmm?
191
00:08:20,865 --> 00:08:22,331
You sign right there.
192
00:08:22,366 --> 00:08:23,833
Or how i can
un-haunt it?
193
00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:25,835
Oh, you'll find
out soon enough.
194
00:08:25,870 --> 00:08:27,837
I will.
195
00:08:29,338 --> 00:08:31,340
As for un-haunting it
196
00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:33,843
you'll have
to sell the car.
197
00:08:33,878 --> 00:08:34,844
Oh.
198
00:08:34,879 --> 00:08:36,846
Well, good day,
mr. Hunnicut.
199
00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:38,347
It's been
a real pleasure.
200
00:08:38,382 --> 00:08:40,850
Likewise, likewise.
201
00:08:42,351 --> 00:08:43,853
I think you may find
202
00:08:43,888 --> 00:08:47,857
that you have actually gotten
the best of the bargain at that.
203
00:08:47,892 --> 00:08:51,260
My ancient friend, you do me
the ultimate injustice.
204
00:08:51,761 --> 00:08:54,764
Our little transaction,
haunted or otherwise
205
00:08:54,799 --> 00:08:56,766
was my charity case for the day.
206
00:08:56,801 --> 00:08:58,768
You dwell on that, will you?
207
00:08:58,803 --> 00:09:00,770
Dwell on it.
208
00:09:00,805 --> 00:09:03,773
No, no, no, mr. Hunnicut.
209
00:09:03,808 --> 00:09:07,777
You dwell on it.
210
00:09:07,812 --> 00:09:10,279
And i rather think you will.
211
00:09:24,493 --> 00:09:25,995
Well?
212
00:09:26,030 --> 00:09:26,996
How much is it?
213
00:09:27,031 --> 00:09:27,997
It's not for sale.
214
00:09:29,999 --> 00:09:31,500
Why not?
215
00:09:31,535 --> 00:09:34,003
Uh... well, i don't know.
216
00:09:34,038 --> 00:09:35,805
This car we were
just sitting in.
217
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,807
That's the one
you were pushing.
218
00:09:37,842 --> 00:09:40,309
Yeah, sure.
219
00:09:40,344 --> 00:09:45,815
I... i guess
i'm not pushing it anymore.
220
00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:49,318
This is a wreck, it's a rum-dum.
221
00:09:49,353 --> 00:09:50,820
It...
222
00:09:50,855 --> 00:09:54,323
oh... it hasn't got any points,
it hasn't got any rings
223
00:09:54,358 --> 00:09:55,825
it hasn't got any plugs
224
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:59,328
and it'll leak gasoline like
it owns every oil well in texas.
225
00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:02,431
But the tires...
226
00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:04,734
are very bad,
and the chassis's been bent
227
00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:08,237
and if i said anything
about it being a runabout
228
00:10:08,272 --> 00:10:11,741
why, i meant it would run
about a block and then stop.
229
00:10:11,776 --> 00:10:14,744
And it'll cost you double
what you pay for it
230
00:10:14,779 --> 00:10:17,246
when you start taking
it in for repairs
231
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:20,149
and you'll start taking
it in for repairs
232
00:10:20,650 --> 00:10:23,152
every third thursday
of the month.
233
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,655
Well, what else
have you got?
234
00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:26,956
Oh, what else,
well...
235
00:10:26,991 --> 00:10:28,958
i... i'll...
236
00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:32,461
i haven't anything else
worthwhile to show you.
237
00:10:32,496 --> 00:10:36,966
Everything in this lot should
have been condemned years ago.
238
00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,468
I got more lemons
per square foot
239
00:10:39,503 --> 00:10:41,470
than a fruit grower in salinas.
240
00:10:41,971 --> 00:10:43,472
And what you ought to do
241
00:10:43,507 --> 00:10:46,976
you ought to hit one
of those reputable places
242
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:50,980
and get what you pay for,
and something you really like
243
00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:54,483
but, uh, you shouldn't
come around here anymore.
244
00:10:54,518 --> 00:10:57,486
Okay.
245
00:10:57,521 --> 00:10:58,487
Thanks.
246
00:10:58,522 --> 00:10:59,488
Yeah.
247
00:10:59,523 --> 00:11:01,490
Oh, hey...
248
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:05,795
never mind.
249
00:11:08,397 --> 00:11:10,399
Let's go look
at television sets.
250
00:11:25,114 --> 00:11:27,116
Sorry, i'm late, boss.
251
00:11:27,151 --> 00:11:28,617
I was down
at the junkyard
252
00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:30,619
checking on the '34
chevy wheel discs.
253
00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:32,121
I found four of them.
254
00:11:33,522 --> 00:11:35,024
Hey, what's
the action, boss?
255
00:11:35,059 --> 00:11:36,525
Hmm?
256
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,528
Oh, things are a
little quiet around...
257
00:11:39,563 --> 00:11:42,031
irv, you won't
believe what i...
258
00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,532
nah, you won't...
259
00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:47,036
hey, how about trying
to move that '35 essex?
260
00:11:47,071 --> 00:11:48,037
Move it is right.
261
00:11:48,072 --> 00:11:50,039
It won't get anywhere
under its own power.
262
00:11:50,074 --> 00:11:51,540
All right,
knock it down to 55
263
00:11:51,575 --> 00:11:54,043
tell everybody it's a museum
piece, last of its kind.
264
00:11:54,078 --> 00:11:55,544
And look!
265
00:11:55,579 --> 00:11:57,046
You keep that hood closed,
you dope!
266
00:11:57,081 --> 00:11:58,547
How many time i gotta tell
you...
267
00:11:58,582 --> 00:12:01,050
when you got an engine you can't
see for rust
268
00:12:01,085 --> 00:12:02,551
you gotta play a little
hide-and-seek.
269
00:12:02,586 --> 00:12:04,053
You don't
go advertising the fact
270
00:12:04,088 --> 00:12:05,554
you're trying to job a car
271
00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:08,557
that carried french soldiers to
the first battle of the marne.
272
00:12:08,592 --> 00:12:09,558
Now listen, irv, i...
273
00:12:13,763 --> 00:12:16,265
...want you to put
a sign on the car
274
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:19,268
that says it's for sale
as is, no guarantees
275
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:20,669
and i...
276
00:12:21,170 --> 00:12:22,671
think you
better open up
277
00:12:22,706 --> 00:12:24,173
both sides
of the hood
278
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:26,675
so they can get a better
look at the engine.
279
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:29,678
You want to sell it or
keep it for an heirloom?
280
00:12:29,713 --> 00:12:31,280
What's the matter...
281
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,282
do i look all right to you, irv?
282
00:12:34,283 --> 00:12:36,285
What did you have for dinner?
283
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,787
No, no, this is nuts.
284
00:12:37,822 --> 00:12:40,289
This is power of suggestion
or something.
285
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:41,791
Hey, that old gleep
that sold me
286
00:12:41,826 --> 00:12:43,793
that model-a,
a real nutsy.
287
00:12:43,828 --> 00:12:44,794
Gave me a song
and dance
288
00:12:44,829 --> 00:12:46,295
about a haunted car.
289
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,596
You get that?
290
00:12:47,631 --> 00:12:48,597
Haunted car.
291
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:50,099
And i was stupid enough
292
00:12:50,134 --> 00:12:52,601
to stand there
and listen to him.
293
00:12:52,636 --> 00:12:56,105
What i should have done
was call up the local hatch
294
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,107
reserved a rubber room
for him.
295
00:12:59,608 --> 00:13:02,111
Honey, this is
your ever-loving.
296
00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:04,613
Now, look, baby
about tonight
297
00:13:04,648 --> 00:13:06,615
i'm going
to be a little late.
298
00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:08,617
Well, it's
inventory time.
299
00:13:08,652 --> 00:13:11,620
Look, i told you it
was inventory time.
300
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:15,124
What i'm going to be
doing tonight is i...
301
00:13:15,159 --> 00:13:18,127
i'm going to be
playing poker with the boys
302
00:13:18,162 --> 00:13:22,131
and when i told you it was
inventory time last month
303
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:25,134
i was playing poker
with the boys then.
304
00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:27,136
You were doing what!
305
00:13:27,171 --> 00:13:28,637
Honey, don't
listen to me!
306
00:13:28,672 --> 00:13:30,639
This is nuts,
i'm sick or something.
307
00:13:30,674 --> 00:13:33,642
Look, what i'm really
going to be doing tonight
308
00:13:33,677 --> 00:13:37,146
is i'm... going to be
playing poker with the boys.
309
00:13:37,181 --> 00:13:38,147
What is this?
310
00:13:38,182 --> 00:13:39,648
Am i crazy or something?
311
00:13:39,683 --> 00:13:42,151
I got no control
over what i'm saying.
312
00:13:42,186 --> 00:13:43,152
I got no control...
313
00:13:44,153 --> 00:13:45,654
irv...
314
00:13:45,689 --> 00:13:48,657
i'm in the midst of a calamity.
315
00:13:48,692 --> 00:13:49,658
That old gleep
i was telling you about
316
00:13:49,693 --> 00:13:53,162
the one who said
that car was haunted...
317
00:13:53,197 --> 00:13:54,163
he was right.
318
00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:57,166
Whoever owns that car
has to tell the truth.
319
00:13:57,201 --> 00:13:59,068
Hey, irv, you dig?
320
00:13:59,103 --> 00:14:02,571
Did you ever hear
anything more ghastly?
321
00:14:02,606 --> 00:14:04,573
Me... harvey hunnicut
322
00:14:04,608 --> 00:14:08,077
from now on, as long
as i own that car
323
00:14:08,112 --> 00:14:10,579
i have to tell the truth.
324
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:28,597
Well, here are the signs
you wanted, boss.
325
00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:30,099
Yeah.
326
00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:32,601
I've heard of low pressure
before, boss
327
00:14:32,636 --> 00:14:35,604
but let's face it-
this is no pressure.
328
00:14:37,641 --> 00:14:41,110
Irv, you know my wife
isn't speaking to me.
329
00:14:41,145 --> 00:14:43,112
Would that that were
your only worry, boss.
330
00:14:43,147 --> 00:14:45,614
You haven't moved a car
off the lot in three days.
331
00:14:45,649 --> 00:14:47,116
I know.
332
00:14:47,151 --> 00:14:49,118
That old lady who came in
yesterday afternoon
333
00:14:49,153 --> 00:14:51,620
to buy that old auburn...
i mean, let's level now.
334
00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:54,123
How do you start a sales pitch
by telling the customer
335
00:14:54,158 --> 00:14:56,125
that if the car
was one year older
336
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,128
moses could have driven it
across the red sea?
337
00:14:59,163 --> 00:15:02,131
There's a limit
to honesty, boss!
338
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:05,134
Irving, i...
339
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,137
i used to feel
that way myself.
340
00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:14,143
I hate to bother
you now, boss
341
00:15:14,178 --> 00:15:16,145
but it's that thing
about my raise.
342
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:17,146
Your raise?
343
00:15:17,181 --> 00:15:18,647
Well, it's six months today
344
00:15:18,682 --> 00:15:20,649
i don't want to bug you,
but you promised.
345
00:15:20,684 --> 00:15:23,152
You said that in six months
if i'd sold three cars,
346
00:15:23,187 --> 00:15:24,453
that you
would turn...
347
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:25,955
oh. Yeah, well, sure.
348
00:15:26,455 --> 00:15:28,457
When i... i...
349
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:30,960
the day you get more money
out of me,
350
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:33,462
it'll be below zero
in the fijis.
351
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,464
Every yokel who works here
352
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,967
starts and stops
at the same salary.
353
00:15:38,002 --> 00:15:40,469
I only dangle that raise
in front of them
354
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,972
just as long as it
takes them to get wise.
355
00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:46,375
Irv... irv...
356
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:48,877
for you to get more money
out of me
357
00:15:48,912 --> 00:15:50,879
would be just about as easy
as...
358
00:15:50,914 --> 00:15:54,383
pouring hot butter
into a wildcat's ear.
359
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,089
Irv, that hurt me
more than it did you.
360
00:16:00,124 --> 00:16:01,090
Correction.
361
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:04,593
This is going to hurt you
a lot more than it hurts me.
362
00:16:43,332 --> 00:16:45,334
What's your pleasure, sir?
363
00:16:45,369 --> 00:16:46,835
Oh, luther grimbley here.
364
00:16:46,870 --> 00:16:48,337
Honest luther grimbley.
365
00:16:48,372 --> 00:16:51,340
30 years in politics,
currently up for reelection.
366
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,341
Alderman, 13th ward.
367
00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:54,343
You've probably heard of me.
368
00:16:54,378 --> 00:16:56,345
Delighted.
369
00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:57,846
Something nice
in a model-a?
370
00:16:57,881 --> 00:16:59,348
Beautiful, isn't it?
371
00:16:59,383 --> 00:17:00,349
That depends.
372
00:17:00,849 --> 00:17:03,852
If you take 12 aspirin
and shut your eyes tight
373
00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:05,354
you might call
it beautiful.
374
00:17:05,389 --> 00:17:07,356
But in the cold
light of day, son
375
00:17:07,856 --> 00:17:08,857
it's a wreck.
376
00:17:08,892 --> 00:17:10,359
What about
its condition?
377
00:17:10,394 --> 00:17:13,862
Well, let me tell
you one thing...
378
00:17:13,897 --> 00:17:16,365
the block's cracked.
379
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,866
Block cracked?
380
00:17:17,901 --> 00:17:18,867
Block cracked.
381
00:17:18,902 --> 00:17:21,370
What else?
382
00:17:21,405 --> 00:17:23,372
You can see
for yourself.
383
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:26,375
You take a good look
at these tires.
384
00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:27,876
The rubber's shot.
385
00:17:27,911 --> 00:17:28,877
Yeah, sure is.
386
00:17:28,912 --> 00:17:31,380
Might be good
for a few years
387
00:17:31,415 --> 00:17:32,381
not many, though.
388
00:17:32,416 --> 00:17:33,882
Many?
389
00:17:33,917 --> 00:17:36,885
This car is living
on borrowed time.
390
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,389
What...
what's she worth?
391
00:17:40,424 --> 00:17:41,890
Oh...
392
00:17:41,925 --> 00:17:45,894
i mean assuming some clod
who wanted a real bum car
393
00:17:45,929 --> 00:17:47,896
to use for a gag
or something
394
00:17:48,397 --> 00:17:49,898
maybe... uh...
50 bucks?
395
00:17:49,933 --> 00:17:51,400
50 bucks!
396
00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:52,901
All right, maybe 60.
397
00:17:52,936 --> 00:17:54,403
Why not 30?
398
00:17:54,438 --> 00:17:56,004
You don't understand,
do you?
399
00:17:56,039 --> 00:17:57,506
This is a bad car,
you see.
400
00:17:57,541 --> 00:17:59,007
It's a lemon.
401
00:17:59,042 --> 00:18:00,509
Lemon?
402
00:18:03,512 --> 00:18:04,713
Why you dirty dog, you.
403
00:18:04,748 --> 00:18:06,215
You clever son of a gun.
404
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,716
That's the truth.
405
00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:09,718
That's the absolute truth.
406
00:18:09,753 --> 00:18:11,220
I've seen all kinds
of routines
407
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,721
all kinds of routines
408
00:18:12,756 --> 00:18:14,723
but you clever
little cookie, you.
409
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,726
This is the old reverse
english, isn't it?
410
00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:19,228
The old twister-oo?
411
00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:21,230
Why you sharp-shooting,
sharpie!
412
00:18:21,265 --> 00:18:23,232
You knew i wanted it,
didn't you?
413
00:18:23,267 --> 00:18:24,733
You little devil you!
414
00:18:24,768 --> 00:18:25,734
You knew i wanted it.
415
00:18:25,769 --> 00:18:27,236
I'll tell you what.
416
00:18:27,271 --> 00:18:29,238
I'll give you
25 bucks for it.
417
00:18:29,273 --> 00:18:32,241
On account of it's good politics
to drive an old car.
418
00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:35,744
Makes people think you're
not getting rich off of them.
419
00:18:35,779 --> 00:18:37,746
25 bucks!
420
00:18:37,781 --> 00:18:38,747
How about 22??
421
00:18:38,782 --> 00:18:40,249
Huh?
422
00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:42,751
I didn't notice
the dent in the fender.
423
00:18:42,786 --> 00:18:44,753
Oh.
424
00:18:44,788 --> 00:18:49,358
I mean $22.50,
the car and no strings.
425
00:18:49,393 --> 00:18:51,860
No, uh, strings?
426
00:18:51,895 --> 00:18:54,363
You better trot out
the strings, buddy boy.
427
00:18:54,398 --> 00:18:55,864
Trot out the strings.
428
00:18:55,899 --> 00:18:57,366
I want to know what i'm getting.
429
00:18:57,401 --> 00:19:02,871
Well, $22.50, the car as is,
and, uh...
430
00:19:02,906 --> 00:19:04,873
and, uh, what?
431
00:19:04,908 --> 00:19:08,377
Uh... well... uh...
the car's haunted.
432
00:19:08,412 --> 00:19:10,379
Haunted?
433
00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,281
The car is haunted?
434
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:17,786
So it's haunted.
435
00:19:17,821 --> 00:19:21,290
I swear, you're the
cleverest cookie in the...
436
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,292
you ought to be
in politics.
437
00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:25,794
Haunted?
438
00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:28,797
How is it haunted?
439
00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:31,200
Well, whoever owns it
has to tell the truth.
440
00:19:33,402 --> 00:19:37,906
Whoever owns it has
to tell the truth?
441
00:19:37,941 --> 00:19:39,708
The whole truth,
and the only way
442
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:42,711
he can stop telling the truth
is to sell the car.
443
00:19:47,516 --> 00:19:50,519
How about this baby?
444
00:19:50,554 --> 00:19:52,020
That's no baby.
445
00:19:52,055 --> 00:19:53,522
That's a great-grandfather.
446
00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:57,025
Hasn't got any transmission,
no rear end, no axle.
447
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:58,527
That one's shot.
448
00:19:58,562 --> 00:20:00,028
That's the goods,
is it?
449
00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:02,531
You have to tell
the truth, don't you?
450
00:20:02,566 --> 00:20:04,032
That's it.
451
00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:06,535
That's the reason
for the song and dance.
452
00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:08,537
You have
to tell the truth.
453
00:20:08,572 --> 00:20:10,038
Well, what about
the model-a?
454
00:20:10,073 --> 00:20:13,041
I mean, in spite of
the fact that it's haunted
455
00:20:13,076 --> 00:20:16,044
it's, it's still a swell...
conversation piece.
456
00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:17,546
For some people,
maybe
457
00:20:17,581 --> 00:20:21,049
but not for old,
honest luther grimbley.
458
00:20:21,084 --> 00:20:23,552
Buddy boy,
i'm in politics.
459
00:20:23,587 --> 00:20:24,553
When you tell me
460
00:20:24,588 --> 00:20:28,557
i got to start telling
the truth all the time
461
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:30,058
holy hanna!
462
00:20:30,093 --> 00:20:31,560
You know something?
463
00:20:31,595 --> 00:20:35,063
I couldn't make
a single political speech.
464
00:20:35,098 --> 00:20:38,066
I couldn't run
for office again.
465
00:20:38,101 --> 00:20:40,569
Now why don't you
sell this car
466
00:20:40,604 --> 00:20:43,071
to boss ryan
over at 12th ward.
467
00:20:43,106 --> 00:20:46,575
I'd love to hear him
tell the truth just once.
468
00:20:47,075 --> 00:20:49,077
Or the mayor, the mayor!
469
00:20:49,112 --> 00:20:50,579
Why don't you...?
470
00:20:50,614 --> 00:20:53,081
Hey, why not even
to this guy, huh?
471
00:20:53,116 --> 00:20:54,082
Who?
472
00:20:54,117 --> 00:20:55,584
This fella?
473
00:20:55,619 --> 00:20:57,085
Say, that's
not a bad idea.
474
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,588
If you could get him
to tell the truth
475
00:20:59,623 --> 00:21:01,590
that might be
the greatest gag
476
00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,091
of all time.
477
00:21:06,129 --> 00:21:08,096
Yeah...
478
00:21:08,131 --> 00:21:10,098
why not, huh?
479
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,601
Oh, boy!
480
00:21:12,636 --> 00:21:14,102
That would be...
481
00:21:20,108 --> 00:21:22,611
your reasoning seems
valid, mr. Hunnicut.
482
00:21:22,646 --> 00:21:25,113
It's your motives
that we're concerned...
483
00:21:25,148 --> 00:21:26,615
don't worry
about my motives.
484
00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:28,617
I bought the car
for 25 bucks
485
00:21:28,652 --> 00:21:29,618
i'm selling
it for 25.
486
00:21:29,653 --> 00:21:31,620
Talk it over
with your boss.
487
00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:47,436
I believe we'll accept
your terms, mr. Hunnicut.
488
00:21:47,471 --> 00:21:48,937
You say $25
american money.
489
00:21:49,438 --> 00:21:50,439
25 american dollars.
490
00:21:50,474 --> 00:21:51,440
I got the papers.
491
00:21:51,475 --> 00:21:53,442
Now, this is
the bill of sale
492
00:21:53,477 --> 00:21:55,944
the transfer of title,
the car registration.
493
00:21:55,979 --> 00:21:57,946
Have your boss sign all three of
them on the dotted lines there.
494
00:21:57,981 --> 00:21:59,948
I'm empowered to handle
the signatures myself.
495
00:21:59,983 --> 00:22:01,450
Oh, no, no.
496
00:22:01,485 --> 00:22:03,452
The boss has to sign
them, you dig?
497
00:22:03,487 --> 00:22:05,954
The boss, the boss
has to sign them.
498
00:22:05,989 --> 00:22:08,457
A sort of memento
or souvenir, is that it?
499
00:22:08,492 --> 00:22:11,460
Uh, yeah,
something like that.
500
00:22:11,495 --> 00:22:13,462
Well, i'll see
what i can do.
501
00:22:26,375 --> 00:22:28,377
Here we are.
502
00:22:28,412 --> 00:22:30,379
And here is the money.
503
00:22:30,414 --> 00:22:31,380
25 american dollars.
504
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:32,881
You lucky dog, you.
505
00:22:32,916 --> 00:22:35,884
You got a million bucks
worth of propaganda here
506
00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,386
you know that?
507
00:22:37,421 --> 00:22:38,387
Now all you have to do
508
00:22:38,422 --> 00:22:40,389
is to try to tell
your folks
509
00:22:40,424 --> 00:22:41,890
that this is the kind
of a car
510
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:43,892
the average american drives.
511
00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:45,394
You try and
tell them that.
512
00:22:45,429 --> 00:22:47,896
These are your copies,
these are mine.
513
00:22:47,931 --> 00:22:49,398
That does it.
514
00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:52,401
Your boss is now
the new owner of this car.
515
00:22:52,436 --> 00:22:53,902
Drive it right off, buddy boy.
516
00:22:54,403 --> 00:22:55,904
You drive it right off.
517
00:22:59,908 --> 00:23:01,910
Is this the living end!
518
00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:04,913
And i got
his signature right here.
519
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:06,415
Nikita khrushchev.
520
00:23:09,918 --> 00:23:11,420
Uh, long distance?
521
00:23:11,455 --> 00:23:13,422
Operator, say,
if an american citizen
522
00:23:13,922 --> 00:23:16,925
has something real important
in the way of news...
523
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,427
uh, well...
524
00:23:18,462 --> 00:23:23,932
i mean if it affects the foreign
policy of the united states...
525
00:23:23,967 --> 00:23:28,937
well, what i'd really
like to know is...
526
00:23:28,972 --> 00:23:32,941
can you get me through
to jack kennedy?
527
00:23:34,943 --> 00:23:36,445
Couldn't happen you say?
528
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,447
Far-fetched, way out,
tilt-of-center?
529
00:23:38,482 --> 00:23:41,450
Possible, but the next time
you buy an automobile
530
00:23:41,485 --> 00:23:42,451
if it happens to look
531
00:23:42,486 --> 00:23:44,953
as if it's gone through
the battle of the marne
532
00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:48,457
and the seller is ready to throw
into the bargain one of his arms
533
00:23:48,492 --> 00:23:51,460
be particularly careful
in explaining to the boss
534
00:23:51,495 --> 00:23:52,961
about your grandmother's funeral
535
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:56,465
when you were actually at chavez
ravine watching the dodgers.
536
00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,967
It'll be a fact
that you're the proud possessor
537
00:23:59,002 --> 00:24:00,469
of an instrument of truth
538
00:24:00,504 --> 00:24:03,472
manufactured and distributed
by an exclusive dealer
539
00:24:03,507 --> 00:24:04,973
in the twilight zone.
540
00:24:09,978 --> 00:24:12,981
Rod serling, creator
ofthe twilight zone
541
00:24:13,016 --> 00:24:14,983
will tell you
about next week's story
542
00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:17,486
after this word
from our alternate sponsor.
543
00:24:18,987 --> 00:24:20,989
And now, mr. Serling.
544
00:24:21,024 --> 00:24:23,992
Next week, we bring you a show
called "the invaders"
545
00:24:24,027 --> 00:24:25,994
written by mr. Richard matheson.
546
00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:28,997
And in this room you'll watch
miss agnes moorehead
547
00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,999
in a tension-riddled attempt
at escape
548
00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:33,502
from a pair of very improbable
housebreakers.
549
00:24:33,537 --> 00:24:36,505
This one we recommend to science
fiction buffs, fantasy lovers
550
00:24:36,540 --> 00:24:39,007
or to anyone who wants to grip
the edge of his seat
551
00:24:39,042 --> 00:24:42,511
and take a 24-minute trip
into the realm of terror.
552
00:24:47,551 --> 00:24:51,520
Captioned by media access
group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org
553
00:25:27,255 --> 00:25:30,759
please, please
don't be a litterbug
554
00:25:30,794 --> 00:25:33,762
'cause every litter bit
hurts.
555
00:25:34,762 --> 00:25:44,762
Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
556
00:25:44,812 --> 00:25:49,362
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