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You're traveling
through another dimension-
4
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,716
a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind.
5
00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:17,967
A journey into a wondrous land
6
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,470
whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
7
00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,355
That's the signpost up ahead.
8
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,474
Your next stop,
the twilight zone.
9
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,106
"Sometime during the morning,
10
00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:32,617
"the rear door of the antique
shop was jimmied open.
11
00:00:32,618 --> 00:00:34,718
"The police surmised
that the thief,
12
00:00:34,753 --> 00:00:37,221
"obviously working
with an accomplice,
13
00:00:37,256 --> 00:00:40,340
"entered and began to remove
items from the shelves.
14
00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:44,094
"Mr. And mrs. Jensen j. Brown,
the proprietors of the shop,
15
00:00:44,129 --> 00:00:46,597
"listed the following
collector's items
16
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:47,848
"as among the goods stolen:
17
00:00:47,883 --> 00:00:49,733
Two vases
of the ming dynasty..."
18
00:00:49,768 --> 00:00:51,602
i don't know what
dynasty they're from,
19
00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:52,853
but they ain't mings.
20
00:00:52,888 --> 00:00:54,738
There are from
some rummage sale.
21
00:00:54,773 --> 00:00:56,607
They're worth about
a half a shuck apiece.
22
00:00:57,893 --> 00:00:59,109
Chester!
23
00:00:59,144 --> 00:01:00,994
Larceny! Plain, no-good larceny.
24
00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:02,246
He's padding that list
for his insurance.
25
00:01:02,281 --> 00:01:04,114
How do you like
a crook like that?
26
00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:05,999
"An antique silver
service for 12,
27
00:01:06,034 --> 00:01:09,119
a louis xiv candelabra,
a queen anne chest..."
28
00:01:09,753 --> 00:01:12,256
aphony
louis xiv candelabra,
29
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:15,375
a set of u.s. Navy
surplus tableware,
30
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:19,012
a chest worth
maybe $3.50 tops.
31
00:01:19,047 --> 00:01:21,515
"Three oil paintings
by picasso..."
32
00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:22,766
three posters
in frames.
33
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:23,884
The guy that painted these
34
00:01:23,919 --> 00:01:25,769
thinks a picasso
is a foreign sports car.
35
00:01:25,804 --> 00:01:27,638
"Two teakwood, hand-carved
36
00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:29,523
cigarette
cases..."
37
00:01:29,558 --> 00:01:32,025
aw, knock it off.
Knock it off.
38
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:37,030
Hey, they forgot this-
an antique camera, no less.
39
00:01:37,065 --> 00:01:38,148
Big deal.
40
00:01:38,782 --> 00:01:40,651
Well, fits with
the rest of the haul.
41
00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:42,536
Everything else is for nothing.
42
00:01:42,571 --> 00:01:45,038
Figures we get a camera
that's for nothing.
43
00:01:45,073 --> 00:01:47,541
A hotel suite that,
in this instance,
44
00:01:47,576 --> 00:01:49,409
serves as a den of crime.
45
00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:51,912
The aftermath
of a rather minor event
46
00:01:51,947 --> 00:01:53,163
to be noted
in a police blotter,
47
00:01:53,797 --> 00:01:55,666
an insurance claim,
perhaps a three-inch box
48
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,168
on page 12
of the evening paper.
49
00:01:58,802 --> 00:02:03,807
Small addenda to be added to
a camera.
50
00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:05,175
A most unimposing addition
51
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:07,678
to the flotsam and jetsam
that it came with.
52
00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:10,814
Hardly worth mentioning, really,
because cameras are cameras:
53
00:02:10,849 --> 00:02:13,317
Some expensive, some purchasable
at five-and-dime stores.
54
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:17,070
But this camera...
this one's unusual because,
55
00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:18,939
in just a moment,
we'll watch it inject itself
56
00:02:18,974 --> 00:02:21,441
into the destinies
of three people.
57
00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:24,578
It happens to be a fact
that the pictures that it takes
58
00:02:24,613 --> 00:02:28,332
can only be developed
in the twilight zone.
59
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,040
Big deal.
60
00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:39,543
You know, 20 years ago,
you could get one of these
61
00:02:39,578 --> 00:02:41,428
in a drugstore for 39 cents.
62
00:02:41,463 --> 00:02:43,297
I got to pick it up in a heist.
63
00:02:43,332 --> 00:02:45,182
Look at the crummy thing.
64
00:02:45,217 --> 00:02:47,684
No place to put
the film in.
65
00:02:47,719 --> 00:02:49,553
No place
to even open it.
66
00:02:49,588 --> 00:02:52,689
Huh! Some crazy
foreign writing.
67
00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,558
This must
be the clicker.
68
00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:59,563
Hey, baby, get over
there by the window.
69
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,699
Come on, take a pose.
70
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,202
Aha...
71
00:03:05,237 --> 00:03:07,070
say cheese.
72
00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:08,322
Cheese.
73
00:03:11,243 --> 00:03:12,459
Nothing.
74
00:03:12,494 --> 00:03:14,828
Aw, big deal.
75
00:03:14,863 --> 00:03:16,713
The whole haul
is worth maybe $5.80.
76
00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:17,965
A good fence
will give us a buck.
77
00:03:18,582 --> 00:03:19,833
You and your curio shops.
78
00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:21,084
Mycurio shops?
79
00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,336
Who cased the place?
80
00:03:22,371 --> 00:03:24,221
Who fingered it?
81
00:03:24,256 --> 00:03:25,722
Who did all
the planning?
82
00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:28,842
Listen to miss culture of 1960.
83
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:32,479
Patron of the arts.
84
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:34,348
"Never mind hock
shops," she says.
85
00:03:34,383 --> 00:03:36,233
"Let's get up
in life," she says.
86
00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:38,101
"Let's knock over
a curio shop
87
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:39,987
"on account of
curio shops are loaded
88
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,489
with objets d'art
worth a fortune."
89
00:03:42,524 --> 00:03:43,740
Two weeks
of planning,
90
00:03:43,775 --> 00:03:45,609
one whole night
on the heist,
91
00:03:45,644 --> 00:03:46,860
and what have
we got for it?
92
00:03:46,895 --> 00:03:48,111
400 pounds of junk.
93
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:50,614
I could have shot pool
for a whole day and made more.
94
00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:51,865
Look, baby,
the next time
95
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,750
you get a hot idea
on a heist...
96
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:04,127
well, how
do i look?
97
00:04:09,132 --> 00:04:11,018
Well, isn't that nice?
98
00:04:11,053 --> 00:04:12,636
And so clear, chet.
Can you imagine that?
99
00:04:12,671 --> 00:04:13,887
No flashbulbs or anything.
100
00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:15,772
And look how
clear it is.
101
00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:17,024
What's the matter
with you?
102
00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:18,892
What's the matter
withme?
103
00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:20,777
Get over there by the mirror. What?
104
00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:23,280
Go on. Go look
at yourself in the mirror.
105
00:04:23,315 --> 00:04:25,782
Are you missing
a couple of buttons?
106
00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:27,034
You go ahead and look.
107
00:04:27,069 --> 00:04:28,902
So, what's to see?
108
00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:30,787
Now look at
the picture.
109
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,907
So, there i am
standing by the window
110
00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:35,158
wearing a... fur coat?!
111
00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:37,661
Chet, what am i doing
wearing a fur coat?
112
00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:40,797
I wasn't wearing a fur coat
when you took that picture.
113
00:04:40,832 --> 00:04:42,666
I don't even
own a fur coat.
114
00:04:42,701 --> 00:04:45,802
I get it.
115
00:04:45,837 --> 00:04:47,671
Camera's strictly
for laughs.
116
00:04:47,706 --> 00:04:48,922
Strictly for laughs.
117
00:04:48,957 --> 00:04:50,173
It's a gag camera.
118
00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,425
What do you mean?
119
00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:52,676
Look, look.
120
00:04:52,711 --> 00:04:55,812
They've already got the
pictures developed inside.
121
00:04:55,847 --> 00:04:57,681
The negatives have
got pictures on them.
122
00:04:57,716 --> 00:05:00,817
All this does is take the faces. What?
123
00:05:00,852 --> 00:05:02,319
You know, like in a carnival,
124
00:05:02,354 --> 00:05:06,073
when you stand back of
that crazy cardboard thing.
125
00:05:06,108 --> 00:05:09,192
You know, fat lady, guy driving
a car, sailor. You know.
126
00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,078
Well, that's what this is.
127
00:05:11,113 --> 00:05:12,579
Hey, that's not bad.
128
00:05:12,614 --> 00:05:13,830
That's pretty clever.
129
00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:16,950
We might as well clear up
the rest of this junk.
130
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:18,835
Let's get at that chest.
131
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,705
Key come with this?
132
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,590
No. You'll
have to open it
133
00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,459
in your own
inimitable style.
134
00:05:25,494 --> 00:05:26,710
Anybody ever tell you
135
00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:27,961
you got
a nasty disposition?
136
00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:29,212
If i have
a nasty disposition,
137
00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:31,715
it's because i'm married
to a nickel-and-dime heister
138
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:34,217
who can't tell a real
diamond from a baseball.
139
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:35,469
Look, baby doll,
140
00:05:35,504 --> 00:05:37,220
this suite
is 28 bucks a day
141
00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:38,472
delivered and paid for
142
00:05:38,507 --> 00:05:40,357
by mrs. Diedrich's
son, chester,
143
00:05:40,392 --> 00:05:42,859
on profits collected
over a potful of years
144
00:05:42,894 --> 00:05:45,362
when you weren't
even in the picture.
145
00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,230
Matter of fact,
i need you
146
00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,116
like i need a three-
time conviction.
147
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:53,487
Hey!
148
00:05:53,522 --> 00:05:55,372
Oh, look.
149
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,743
Oh!
150
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,879
Well, how do
you like this?
151
00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:04,131
And don't start
giving me
152
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,999
any of that
cheap pizzazz
153
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:08,502
about taking this
to any fence.
154
00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:11,004
This belongs to
little old paula.
155
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,507
And don't try to
argue with me either.
156
00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:16,893
Well, how do i look?
157
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,902
All right,
cue me.
158
00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:26,770
What's the matter?
159
00:06:53,296 --> 00:06:54,548
What are you doing?
160
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,433
Come on back to bed.
161
00:06:56,468 --> 00:06:57,684
Still with that?
162
00:06:57,719 --> 00:06:59,553
Shut up.
163
00:06:59,588 --> 00:07:01,438
So what do you care?
164
00:07:01,473 --> 00:07:03,306
Want me to let
it go by, huh?
165
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,192
So what do you care?
So it's a crazy camera.
166
00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:08,311
So it takes dopey pictures
that really aren't there.
167
00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:09,312
Yeah, it takes dopey pictures.
168
00:07:09,946 --> 00:07:11,815
Dopey pictures like things
that haven't happened yet,
169
00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:13,066
but they do happen.
170
00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:14,951
So what's
to do, chet?
171
00:07:14,986 --> 00:07:17,454
One lousy,
kooky picture
172
00:07:17,489 --> 00:07:19,322
and you
get insomnia.
173
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:21,825
So it's a camera,
that's all.
174
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,710
Here, i'll
show you.
175
00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,330
There. See?
176
00:07:27,365 --> 00:07:28,582
Any lightning?
177
00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:30,467
Drop it,
why don't you?
178
00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:32,335
Let it go.
Forget it.
179
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:34,221
How can i forget it?
180
00:07:34,256 --> 00:07:37,974
This thing could come
from witches or... sorcerers.
181
00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:41,728
It could be loaded
with black magic.
182
00:07:41,763 --> 00:07:44,231
And what are
you loaded with?
183
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:45,482
Do you see
anything?
184
00:07:45,517 --> 00:07:47,984
Where's the man
with the horns
185
00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:49,236
who comes in
186
00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,104
with a bargain
for the soul?
187
00:07:51,139 --> 00:07:52,989
It's a kooky camera,
that's all.
188
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:04,618
Well?
189
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:13,376
It's my brother woodward...
190
00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:15,879
standing
by the door.
191
00:08:15,914 --> 00:08:17,130
Yeah.
192
00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:19,015
That's who it is.
193
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:21,518
That cheap, no-good
brother of yours.
194
00:08:21,553 --> 00:08:22,769
It can't be.
195
00:08:22,804 --> 00:08:24,638
He's in jail.
196
00:08:24,673 --> 00:08:26,523
Seven years for
breaking and entering,
197
00:08:26,558 --> 00:08:28,391
and that was
only a year ago.
198
00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:29,643
Oh, no. No, chet.
199
00:08:29,678 --> 00:08:30,894
It's throwing
us a curve.
200
00:08:30,929 --> 00:08:32,145
Maybe it's somebody
201
00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:34,030
who just looks
like woodward.
202
00:08:34,065 --> 00:08:36,533
Nobody looks
like woodward.
203
00:08:36,568 --> 00:08:37,784
Look.
204
00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:40,904
Chester, i'm scared.
205
00:08:40,939 --> 00:08:42,155
I'm palpitating.
206
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:45,292
You and your phony
palpitations, you...
207
00:08:45,327 --> 00:08:47,794
a little palpitating
never hurt anybody.
208
00:08:47,829 --> 00:08:49,663
What's there to
be scared about?
209
00:08:49,698 --> 00:08:52,799
The thing has obviously
gone tilt or something.
210
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,050
Look. Now, look.
211
00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:55,302
Woodward isn't here.
212
00:08:55,337 --> 00:08:57,804
Woodward couldn't
possibly be here.
213
00:08:57,839 --> 00:08:59,673
Woodward's not
going to be here.
214
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:00,924
He's serving time.
215
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:02,809
He's 900 miles away
in a cell block.
216
00:09:02,844 --> 00:09:05,929
I don't care what
that crazy camera says.
217
00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:07,814
Whoever is
in this picture,
218
00:09:07,849 --> 00:09:09,683
it is not woodward.
219
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,941
Woodward.
220
00:09:17,976 --> 00:09:19,192
Hi, paula. Hi, chet.
221
00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:21,695
I didn't want to wake you,
so i jimmied the door open.
222
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,446
I broke out-
me and another guy-
223
00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:24,698
in a laundry truck.
224
00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:26,449
That's nice, huh?
225
00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:29,586
I didn't think you'd mind if
i stay with you for a few days.
226
00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:30,837
Well, you don't, do you?
227
00:09:30,872 --> 00:09:33,206
I was thinking,
if i was around,
228
00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:35,091
you two wouldn't
fight so much.
229
00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,843
You still all the time fighting?
230
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,214
What's this, chet?
231
00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:42,465
How do you like that?
232
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,351
There i am,
standing by this door,
233
00:09:44,386 --> 00:09:46,219
wearing the clothes
i got on.
234
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:47,470
How about that?
235
00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:49,973
I tell you,
science is wonderful.
236
00:09:50,008 --> 00:09:52,475
To be able to take
a picture of a...
237
00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:55,612
wait a minute.
238
00:09:55,647 --> 00:09:57,480
Wait a minute!
239
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:03,119
Like, uh... how come?
240
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:18,268
I still don't know
how we can use it.
241
00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:20,153
Strictly for laughs.
242
00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:21,404
Imagine trying
to sell an item like that.
243
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:22,656
They'd throw you out.
244
00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:23,907
They'd say
you're off your rocker.
245
00:10:23,942 --> 00:10:25,158
They'd burn you at the stake.
246
00:10:25,193 --> 00:10:26,409
One thing or the other.
247
00:10:26,444 --> 00:10:29,279
Hey, maybe
we could sell tickets.
248
00:10:29,314 --> 00:10:31,781
Take pictures like at a carny,
249
00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:33,416
and then...
250
00:10:33,451 --> 00:10:35,418
well, maybe we could, uh...
251
00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:37,287
well, you know, like that.
252
00:10:37,322 --> 00:10:40,790
Well, i'm going
to lay it on the line.
253
00:10:40,825 --> 00:10:42,676
What are we?
254
00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,178
I asked you a question.
What are we?
255
00:10:45,213 --> 00:10:48,298
What are we, chet?
We're people.
256
00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:50,433
Yeah, but what kind of people?
257
00:10:50,468 --> 00:10:52,302
We're three small-time heisters.
258
00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:54,804
Well, now we've
finally got something
259
00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:57,307
that might do something good
for somebody else.
260
00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:59,809
Science could use
something like this.
261
00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:01,061
Who?
262
00:11:01,096 --> 00:11:02,312
Science.
263
00:11:02,347 --> 00:11:04,197
We got something here
for humanity.
264
00:11:04,232 --> 00:11:06,066
Who?
265
00:11:06,101 --> 00:11:07,317
Humanity.
266
00:11:07,352 --> 00:11:09,703
You got a leak in your attic?
267
00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:12,205
What's humanity
ever done for us?
268
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,456
Sure, paula, sure.
269
00:11:13,491 --> 00:11:14,708
That's what i meant.
270
00:11:15,325 --> 00:11:16,576
Just what you said.
271
00:11:16,611 --> 00:11:18,461
That's the way we are.
272
00:11:18,496 --> 00:11:19,713
Everything
for us.
273
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:21,581
Nothing for
anybody else.
274
00:11:21,616 --> 00:11:24,718
I've risen above all that now.
275
00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:27,837
I say, let's give this
to the world.
276
00:11:27,872 --> 00:11:29,723
Here, world.
277
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:32,225
A gift from chester diedrich
and his wife.
278
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:34,728
And me, too, chet.
Don't forget woodward.
279
00:11:34,763 --> 00:11:36,346
Yeah. And you, too, woodward.
280
00:11:36,381 --> 00:11:38,848
Here, world.
281
00:11:38,883 --> 00:11:42,602
A gift for humanity.
282
00:11:42,637 --> 00:11:45,739
A gesture.
283
00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:48,241
A gesture to show
the size of the heart
284
00:11:48,276 --> 00:11:50,110
of chester diedrich
and wife.
285
00:11:50,145 --> 00:11:50,994
And
286
00:11:51,029 --> 00:11:51,995
woodward.
287
00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:53,863
Yeah, that's better.
288
00:11:53,898 --> 00:11:55,749
Isn't there something
you want to watch on tv?
289
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:57,367
Oh, yeah.
290
00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:01,755
You know, paula,
this could be
291
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:04,007
a very important
scientific discovery.
292
00:12:04,042 --> 00:12:07,127
There's no telling what medical
science may do with this.
293
00:12:07,162 --> 00:12:08,378
How can you know...?
294
00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:10,880
A half-length, a full-length,
295
00:12:10,915 --> 00:12:12,132
and hot foot takes it
by a length and a half.
296
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,383
Jerry slash second by two,
297
00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:15,268
easter baby third.
298
00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:17,137
The rest of the field
is strung out.
299
00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:20,273
$24.90 to win, $15.80 and $6.70.
300
00:12:20,308 --> 00:12:23,393
In just a few minutes,
the second race of the day,
301
00:12:23,428 --> 00:12:24,644
the los tendres handicap.
302
00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,529
Shut that thing off.
303
00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:28,398
Huh? Oh, yeah.
304
00:12:28,433 --> 00:12:30,283
I got it.
305
00:12:30,318 --> 00:12:32,152
I've got it, i've got it.
306
00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:35,288
What is it,
chester?
307
00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:38,408
This thing takes pictures
of things that happen
308
00:12:38,443 --> 00:12:40,910
five minutes
before they happen,
309
00:12:40,945 --> 00:12:41,795
but they happen!
310
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:44,297
I'll tell you
what we're going to do.
311
00:12:44,332 --> 00:12:46,800
We're going to take a picture
of the winning board
312
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:49,302
at the racetrack...
before the race.
313
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:53,056
The winning board
before the race, get it?
314
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,558
No, i don't get it.
315
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,679
Wait a minute.
316
00:12:59,714 --> 00:13:02,182
We take a picture
of the winning board,
317
00:13:02,217 --> 00:13:04,067
and then we
look at it.
318
00:13:04,102 --> 00:13:05,318
Oh, chester!
319
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,072
We getting through
to you, woodward?
320
00:13:09,107 --> 00:13:12,192
Look, we take a picture
of the winning board.
321
00:13:12,227 --> 00:13:13,443
There's nothing on it
322
00:13:13,478 --> 00:13:15,328
because the race
hasn't been run yet,
323
00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:17,831
but we got
a little camera here
324
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,082
that takes pictures
325
00:13:19,117 --> 00:13:20,950
five minutes
before they happen.
326
00:13:20,985 --> 00:13:24,704
So the picture has the
winning numbers on the board.
327
00:13:24,739 --> 00:13:25,955
We know what horse won.
328
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,841
We know how much he paid.
329
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:30,343
Now do you get it?
330
00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:32,212
Yeah!
Now i get it.
331
00:13:32,247 --> 00:13:34,097
Okay, everybody,
get your coats.
332
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,599
Grab one of mine,
and be sure to put on a tie.
333
00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:37,851
Okay, chet?
334
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:39,719
Let's see now.
335
00:13:39,754 --> 00:13:41,604
That was
the first race...
336
00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:42,856
we can still catch
the last six.
337
00:13:42,891 --> 00:13:44,107
Hey, wait a minute.
338
00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:45,358
How much money
have we got?
339
00:13:45,393 --> 00:13:47,227
I got a ten
and a 20.
340
00:13:47,262 --> 00:13:47,861
That's $30.
341
00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,112
I know it's $30.
342
00:13:49,147 --> 00:13:50,363
I got... $180.
343
00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:52,232
Woodward,
you got money?
344
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:52,866
Yeah, i got ten.
345
00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:54,117
That gives us
220 bucks.
346
00:13:54,152 --> 00:13:55,368
Is that enough?
347
00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:56,619
We're bound to hit
348
00:13:56,654 --> 00:13:57,871
one long shot,
maybe two.
349
00:13:57,906 --> 00:14:00,373
We'll parlay this
into a million bucks.
350
00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:02,242
We can't lose, paula!
We can't lose! Come on!
351
00:14:02,277 --> 00:14:04,127
Hey, wait a minute, chet!
352
00:14:04,162 --> 00:14:05,378
Wait a minute.
353
00:14:05,413 --> 00:14:06,629
What about humanity?
354
00:14:06,664 --> 00:14:09,132
What did humanity
ever do for us?
355
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:09,749
Come on!
356
00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:17,507
We got us
an idea.
357
00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:19,392
Oh, boy, chester! Oh, boy!
358
00:14:19,427 --> 00:14:23,146
Look, my ribs aren't hurting
your elbow any, are they?
359
00:14:23,181 --> 00:14:24,397
Keep it quiet.
360
00:14:24,432 --> 00:14:26,266
Let me get the shot.
361
00:14:28,686 --> 00:14:29,519
Okay.
362
00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:41,664
Ah-ah-ah.
363
00:14:41,699 --> 00:14:42,916
Well?
364
00:14:42,951 --> 00:14:44,784
There's numbers on it.
365
00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:46,419
6, 3, 11.
366
00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:48,288
Look what
number six pays.
367
00:14:48,323 --> 00:14:51,674
$47.60 to win.
368
00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:52,675
Oh, boy,
chester!
369
00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:53,927
Let me see.
370
00:14:53,962 --> 00:14:55,795
Number six, number six...
371
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:58,298
tidy too.
372
00:14:58,333 --> 00:14:59,549
Okay, boys and girls,
373
00:14:59,584 --> 00:15:01,434
our money goes on tidy too.
374
00:15:01,469 --> 00:15:02,685
Here. You take care of baby.
375
00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:08,308
Going wide, can't hold the rail.
376
00:15:08,343 --> 00:15:10,560
And tidy too moves into the hole
on the rail and moves fast.
377
00:15:10,595 --> 00:15:12,445
Tidy too. Tidy too.
378
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,696
Come on, number six.
379
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,316
And sir rinos falls back.
380
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:18,568
Come on, come on, tidy too.
381
00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:19,819
Come on, tidy too.
382
00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:21,070
Come on, horsey!
383
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,574
Tidy too.
384
00:15:24,609 --> 00:15:26,459
Come on, come on.
385
00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:28,077
Come on, tidy too.
386
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,083
We won.
387
00:15:34,118 --> 00:15:38,471
9,500 bucks... oh!
388
00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:44,978
Here we go.
389
00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:47,480
Chet, go get the money.
390
00:15:47,515 --> 00:15:48,731
Yeah. Be right back.
391
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:49,983
Watch the camera.
392
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,736
Thank you.
393
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,495
Open the bag, honey.
I've run out of pockets.
394
00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:03,746
Look at
the loot.
395
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:13,122
95 times to win,
number four.
396
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,127
90...
397
00:16:18,162 --> 00:16:19,379
91...
398
00:16:19,414 --> 00:16:20,013
92...
399
00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:21,264
93...
400
00:16:21,299 --> 00:16:22,515
94...
401
00:16:22,550 --> 00:16:23,132
95.
402
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:35,028
How soon can
you make delivery
403
00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:36,279
on something like that?
404
00:16:36,314 --> 00:16:37,530
No, no, no. Not black.
405
00:16:37,565 --> 00:16:40,033
It's got to be yellow
with black upholstery.
406
00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:43,152
Yeah. Wire wheels,
dual exhausts,
407
00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:45,655
continental kit-
the works.
408
00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:47,540
Right. And how much was it?
409
00:16:47,575 --> 00:16:49,409
$11,000.
410
00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:51,411
11 grand.
411
00:16:51,446 --> 00:16:53,296
No, i'm not backing out.
412
00:16:53,331 --> 00:16:56,416
I'm thinking about whether
i want to get two or not.
413
00:16:56,451 --> 00:16:58,918
Okay, you bring the papers
around in the morning.
414
00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:00,803
We'll settle the whole deal.
415
00:17:00,838 --> 00:17:03,306
Right, no, no, no.
I'll pay cash. Yeah.
416
00:17:05,593 --> 00:17:08,061
That must
be the waiter.
417
00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:10,563
Are you finished with
your snack, woodward, dear?
418
00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:13,066
Yeah. That'll hold
me till dinner.
419
00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:14,317
Come in.
420
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,937
I came for the dishes, madam.
421
00:17:17,972 --> 00:17:19,822
Right here.
422
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,827
Could you possibly
bring us back
423
00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:27,196
a couple bottles
of champagne?
424
00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:28,448
Yes, ma'am, i can.
425
00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:29,699
Hey, put that down.
426
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:30,950
Oh, let him
look at it.
427
00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:32,835
Bet you never saw
anything like that.
428
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:33,953
Mais non.
429
00:17:33,988 --> 00:17:35,204
Most unusual, sir.
430
00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:37,090
Isn't it, though?
431
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,958
You don't knowhowunusual.
432
00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:42,095
But what do you do
after your ten pictures?
433
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:45,214
Is there any other way
to get more film?
434
00:17:45,249 --> 00:17:47,216
We've only had it
a little while.
435
00:17:47,251 --> 00:17:48,468
What did you say?
436
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:49,852
What about ten pictures?
437
00:17:49,887 --> 00:17:54,223
Well, the inscription reads,
"dix a la proprietaire."
438
00:17:54,258 --> 00:17:56,109
That means, "ten to an owner."
439
00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,727
Well, i presume
that means
440
00:17:57,762 --> 00:17:59,612
you may
only take ten.
441
00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:00,613
So odd.
442
00:18:00,648 --> 00:18:03,733
Yes, you see,
the lettering...
443
00:18:03,768 --> 00:18:04,984
yeah, okay,
pierre.
444
00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:06,235
Don't forget
the champagne.
445
00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:08,738
You're going to have
to get it for her.
446
00:18:08,773 --> 00:18:11,240
If we want anything
else, we'll call you.
447
00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:13,126
Okay, boy. Bye.
448
00:18:13,161 --> 00:18:15,378
How many pictures
did we take?
449
00:18:15,413 --> 00:18:16,629
There was one of you.
450
00:18:16,664 --> 00:18:17,880
One of
woodward.
451
00:18:17,915 --> 00:18:19,749
How many we take
at the track?
452
00:18:19,784 --> 00:18:21,000
Six... six races.
453
00:18:21,035 --> 00:18:22,251
We've taken
eight pictures.
454
00:18:22,885 --> 00:18:24,137
There's only
two left.
455
00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:25,388
Ten.
456
00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:27,256
How do we know
that's what it means?
457
00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:29,142
Some smart-aleck
french waiter
458
00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:30,393
tells us it means ten,
459
00:18:30,428 --> 00:18:32,895
so we figure we've
only got two left.
460
00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:34,147
How does he know?
461
00:18:34,182 --> 00:18:36,649
I bet we can take
as many as we want.
462
00:18:36,684 --> 00:18:38,518
We can't take
any chances.
463
00:18:38,553 --> 00:18:40,403
Yeah, she's right.
You know what i think?
464
00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:42,271
I think we
ought to sell it.
465
00:18:42,306 --> 00:18:43,523
Who's rattling
your cage, ape?
466
00:18:43,558 --> 00:18:45,408
It doesn't
belong to you.
467
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:46,659
You're here
on charity.
468
00:18:46,694 --> 00:18:49,162
We're going out to
the track tomorrow
469
00:18:49,197 --> 00:18:50,413
and bet
two more races.
470
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:51,664
Are you
both crazy?
471
00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:54,167
We got to hang on
to it and save it.
472
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:56,035
No, we don't,
we got to sell it.
473
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,543
You made me
waste a picture.
474
00:19:03,578 --> 00:19:05,428
Ooh,
palpitations!
475
00:19:05,463 --> 00:19:06,679
Palpitations.
476
00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:09,799
Phony palpitations
and a stupid brother!
477
00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:12,301
I don't have to
take that guff.
478
00:19:12,336 --> 00:19:13,553
All right, all right.
479
00:19:13,588 --> 00:19:15,438
Here, woodward,
take a drink.
480
00:19:15,473 --> 00:19:16,689
That's better.
481
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,575
She's screaming.
482
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:39,328
Why do you think she's
screaming, woodward?
483
00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:41,714
I'll tell you
why she's screaming.
484
00:19:41,749 --> 00:19:45,468
Because somebody's trying
to do something to her husband.
485
00:19:45,503 --> 00:19:46,719
Some stupid, no-good ex-con
486
00:19:46,754 --> 00:19:49,839
who wants to get that camera
and doesn't care how.
487
00:19:49,874 --> 00:19:51,090
Don't!
488
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,975
Don't do it,
chet.
489
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,227
Put that knife away.
490
00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:55,478
Chester!
491
00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:57,346
If she's screaming
in that picture,
492
00:19:57,381 --> 00:20:00,483
she's because somebody's trying
to hurt her loving brother.
493
00:20:00,518 --> 00:20:01,734
Boys! Woodward!
494
00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:02,985
No, please.
495
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:05,488
Put it away or i'll
take off your skin.
496
00:20:07,356 --> 00:20:08,608
Please, don't.
497
00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:15,364
Oh, chester.
498
00:20:15,998 --> 00:20:17,250
Oh, my.
499
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:21,003
My husband... woodward.
500
00:20:21,038 --> 00:20:22,872
I'll die.
501
00:20:22,907 --> 00:20:26,008
There's nothing left for me.
502
00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:27,877
Nothing.
503
00:20:32,882 --> 00:20:37,270
However, we must muddle
through these things.
504
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:39,772
We must live with tragedy.
505
00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:44,143
Poor woodward. Poor chester.
506
00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:48,531
One more picture left.
507
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,399
Ha!
508
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,659
For posterity, boys.
509
00:20:59,694 --> 00:21:00,910
Simply for posterity.
510
00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,046
May you both rest in peace.
511
00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:17,810
What do you want?
512
00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:18,678
Pardonnez-moi.
513
00:21:18,713 --> 00:21:19,929
Madame, i understand
514
00:21:19,964 --> 00:21:22,431
there is something
in the way of laundry
515
00:21:22,466 --> 00:21:23,683
that i should take.
516
00:21:23,718 --> 00:21:24,934
You've got
the wrong room.
517
00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:26,819
There's no laundry
here, jack.
518
00:21:26,854 --> 00:21:28,688
In fact,
i'm checking out.
519
00:21:28,723 --> 00:21:29,939
So i understand,
madame.
520
00:21:29,974 --> 00:21:33,075
Your two friends,
they already checked out.
521
00:21:33,110 --> 00:21:34,327
What are
you doing?!
522
00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:36,829
I told you i was here
to take the laundry.
523
00:21:37,446 --> 00:21:39,949
I'm- how do you say? -
cleaning you out.
524
00:21:39,984 --> 00:21:40,950
Cleaning me out?
525
00:21:40,985 --> 00:21:42,835
What do you think
i'll be doing
526
00:21:42,870 --> 00:21:44,086
while you do that?
527
00:21:44,121 --> 00:21:45,338
Well, i'll cue you.
528
00:21:45,373 --> 00:21:47,206
I'm going to be
calling the cops.
529
00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:49,091
The cops?
530
00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:50,960
Oh, you mean
the police?
531
00:21:50,995 --> 00:21:52,845
Madame will forgive me
532
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,097
but, if you call the police,
533
00:21:55,132 --> 00:21:58,217
madame will get herself
into- how you say? -
534
00:21:58,252 --> 00:22:01,971
one fantastic bind.
535
00:22:02,006 --> 00:22:05,474
Now this here,
this is- how you say? -
536
00:22:05,509 --> 00:22:07,360
up for grabs.
537
00:22:07,395 --> 00:22:09,979
Dear lady, i know
all about you now.
538
00:22:10,014 --> 00:22:12,481
I have done some checking.
539
00:22:12,516 --> 00:22:15,618
Your husband,
your brother and you,
540
00:22:15,653 --> 00:22:18,487
you are wanted.
541
00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:22,875
Now, as for the police,
542
00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:25,995
i would advise you
to get out while you can.
543
00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:27,880
When they discover
544
00:22:27,915 --> 00:22:30,383
what is down in
the courtyard there,
545
00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:33,502
they will be up here
sans invitation.
546
00:22:33,537 --> 00:22:37,256
Without invitation.
547
00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:39,141
Uninvited.
548
00:22:39,176 --> 00:22:42,261
You- how you say? - You dig?
549
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:50,152
Now, as to the laundry,
this may be back by thursday
550
00:22:50,187 --> 00:22:51,404
or maybe friday...
551
00:22:52,655 --> 00:22:54,523
or maybe never.
552
00:22:57,026 --> 00:22:58,911
But i'm not a hog.
553
00:22:58,946 --> 00:23:02,415
This one, i will leave with you.
554
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:04,917
Sacre nom.
555
00:23:04,952 --> 00:23:08,037
There is a picture
of the courtyard down below,
556
00:23:08,072 --> 00:23:09,922
but there are
more than two bodies.
557
00:23:09,957 --> 00:23:13,042
More than two bodies?
558
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:31,694
Yes, there are more
than two bodies down there.
559
00:23:31,729 --> 00:23:34,697
Just like the picture shows-
560
00:23:34,732 --> 00:23:37,199
one, two, three...
561
00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:40,319
four!
562
00:23:46,075 --> 00:23:47,326
Object known as a camera-
563
00:23:47,361 --> 00:23:49,211
vintage uncertain,
origin unknown.
564
00:23:49,246 --> 00:23:52,965
But, for the greedy, the
avaricious, the fleet of foot
565
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,834
who can run a four-minute mile
566
00:23:54,869 --> 00:23:57,336
so long as they're chasing
a fast buck,
567
00:23:57,371 --> 00:24:01,090
it makes believe that it's
an ally, but it isn't at all.
568
00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:02,975
It's a beckoning come-on
569
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:06,729
for a quick walk around
the block in the twilight zone.
570
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:14,487
Rod serling,
creator ofthe twilight zone,
571
00:24:14,522 --> 00:24:16,355
will tell you
about next week's story
572
00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:19,842
after this word
from our alternate sponsor.
573
00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:21,410
And now, mr. Serling.
574
00:24:21,445 --> 00:24:22,611
This may look to you
575
00:24:23,245 --> 00:24:24,497
like any dismal,
dark and dingy alley
576
00:24:24,532 --> 00:24:26,999
that lies skulking off a million
myriad shadow-places
577
00:24:27,034 --> 00:24:28,868
off the main drags.
578
00:24:28,903 --> 00:24:31,370
Actually, it's the private
domain of leprechauns and elves,
579
00:24:31,405 --> 00:24:34,507
and supplies the locale
of next week'stwilight zone.
580
00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:37,009
With us for a very special
occasion is mr. Art carney,
581
00:24:37,044 --> 00:24:38,878
who plays the role of
a department store santa claus,
582
00:24:38,913 --> 00:24:42,014
and he plays it with the heart,
the warmth and the vast talent
583
00:24:42,049 --> 00:24:43,265
that is uniquely carney.
584
00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:47,670
Onthe twilight zonenext week,
"the night of the meek."
585
00:24:47,705 --> 00:24:51,440
Captioned by media access
group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org
586
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,730
be sure and see
the colgate-palmolive company's
587
00:25:31,765 --> 00:25:34,233
new comedy show
my sister eileen
588
00:25:34,268 --> 00:25:37,987
wednesday night
on many of these same stations.
589
00:25:38,987 --> 00:25:48,987
Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
590
00:25:49,037 --> 00:25:53,587
Repair and Synchronization by
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