Original subtitles

(Radio announcement)

Darn you, Chauka! This is all your fault.

Oh, right! There was a race track here, an hour ago.

Why are you whining? I'm driving here!

Obviously, you would. You're almost a Sardaar.

Today, I'm driving on the way back.

Keep dreaming.

When I am drunk, I only trust myself.

And I trust Chauka, just slightly more than that.

I wouldn't even let you drive sober.

Listen, I can drive drunk better than both of you.

Have you lost it?

Are you planning to fly over the traffic?

Are people in our country fools?

As if the traffic will clear just by honking your horn!

He's honking as if the other guy doesn't want to move on!

I'm here to settle down and grow roots, right?

I've just decided I am going to hold up the traffic and stay put.

Why are you hollering? This is all your fault!

Yes, everything in your life is my fault, right?

Don't mind him. He'll be still saying the same when he has a kid!

This is all because of you!

Oh, man! Get a move on!

Okay.

Take the call, buddy.

Speak to aunt, she must be getting hassled.

Forget about it! She knows where I am.

But still, she has to call every single day.

Sir. Your call.

Hey? Where? What?

Tell me, quick! I can't see it!

Hurry up and tell me, it's got to be Obama!

Please, tell me!

Awesome!

Loser, why don't you say it loud enough so they can hear you?

We don't lech like you. We are admirers.

You fools are going to be admiring away all your life.

Chauke, the day we really like some girl...

...and admiration is not enough we'll go to talk to her.

We'll be loving, polite. Then, the ball is in her court.

Right, buddy?

Respect, Chauke.

I am more respectful than you!

I have never leched at a girl so far.

When did you ever look at girls?

You've been to an only boys school.

Then, you did engineering where there are hardly any girls.

And the girls who are there and halfway decent to look at...

...they won't spare you a second glance!

They are the ones who are committed, from the word go!

Now, you're getting the third degree in a 4 by 4 cubicle, every day.

Sure, why don't you join the torture squad?

It's a free for all! Join the club.

Free for all? Isn't the company paying you?

Fool, my dad's hounding me with his MBA chant.

They scam us big time!

In the tenth grade, they said, just one more year.

Do that and they say just two more years. Get through engineering.

Then, they start wailing about the IITs!

Do the IIT graduates have wings sprouting out of their backs?

Then, they say, fine, whatever. Just get a placement.

You're settled! But, nothing doing. Now, they want me to do an MBA!

I've been working for four years, now! I can't go back to school!

If we have relatives over, there's more to stress out about.

His son joined this place, his son is working in that place.

They all have a service class, middle class mentality.

That reminds me. I'm getting promoted.

An increment? - About 30 percent.

God's justice is delayed and denied, as well!

I do the legwork and he gets promoted!

Better to have enemies than a friend like you.

I'm a friend, but I'm human too.

It would hurt watching someone like him get promoted.

Okay, fine. Congratulations.

Your increment is 30%, right? You're buying the drinks from today.

What do you mean, from today? When do you ever pay?

Did you forget who paid for the snacks, day before?

Listen, I work hard for the money. It's not dirty money, like yours!

You can get lost.

I won't spend a penny of my dirty money of you.

You can used your hard earned money for liquor.

Yes. And don't let the loser drive the car, either.

Don't stress about that. I'll drive.

What does that have to do with the car?

It does. It's a hard earned car.

Either I or Chauka drive my car, after drinking.

Because, he's almost a Sardaar (Sikh).

Buddy, half a bottle can't get the party going.

Shame on you!

We haven't even moved out of the pub, yet.

The liquor will turn to water if it hears you say that.

It's aged for 15 years in some box in Europe.

And, it doesn't get the party going, here!

If you can't get drunk, have some water.

Why waste good money on it?

Listen, it's got to have the feel, okay?

Sure, order Bisleri for the right feel.

Why waste good liquor?

"I tell the bartender...

...I'm on a high, all night."

"Keep repeating my order."

"Just keep giving me neat liquor."

"You can go home, if you want to."

"Just do this for me."

"Just hand over the keys of the cabinet to me."

"Just give me the keys. It's a one on one with me and the liquor."

"No matter how much I hold back, it won't let me be.'

"It's a one on one with me and the liquor."

"No matter how much I hold back, it won't let me be.'

"I just hate it."

"I am addicted to drink."

"Everyone tells me to quit."

"This is the work of the devil."

"Everyone drinks, we just drink a little more."

"I just hate it."

"I am addicted to drink."

"Everyone tells me to quit."

"This is the work of the devil."

"Everyone will rise up."

"I won't give in."

"I will break the empty bottle."

"I won't turn away from a drink."

"My friend lives in this alley."

"People love it here."

"I am going to drink the bottle up."

"And still come back for more."

"It's a one on one with me and the liquor."

"No matter how much I hold back, it won't let me be.'

"Yes, I do drink."

"It's the worst thing to do."

"People just sip on wine."

"I drink, till I lose my bearings."

"You can go home, if you want to."

"Just do this for me."

"Just hand over the keys of the cabinet to me."

"It's a one on one with me and the liquor."

"No matter how much I hold back, it won't let me be.'

"It's a one on one with me and the liquor."

"No matter how much I hold back, it won't let me be.'

Come on, buddy.

Have you lost it?

We have better things to do.

Come on, please, bro. Aren't you my brother?

We just have to stay for an hour.

You can drink free liquor.

And you complain that I don't get you drinks.

Yes, right. With uncle and aunt in tow.

So, what are they going to do? I'll be drinking, too.

What are you both so busy with, anyway?

We didn't say we're busy.

There'll be girls, too!

What's the point of me seeing girls from Meerut?

Imagine that they are from Delhi and look.

I'll pass. You carry on.

If you find someone, give her my number.

I'll come along.

But, in his car. And I'm driving.

Are you *** insane?

Carry on with the torture. See if I come along, next time.

When it comes to you, you just back off, completely!

You're just acting pricey since I asked nicely.

And you! Just park that car of yours, okay?

Come on, bro. Please?

Chiku!

Oh, my God! - Your sister-in-law.

Where are you going? - To get me some Chiku.

I'm glad, you dumped him.

What?

The one you met by mistake.

I'm not available, now.

There's no chance of that, now.

Certainly not while I am alive.

So, when are you planning to die?

Right now. Almost there.

Yeah!

Cheers.

981...

...941...

...7038.

I forget stuff, when I drink.

I am not something you can forget.

What do you think? Will she forget?

Let's have a Patiala (drink).

I am telling you...

There she is.

Priyanka is coming too.

Priyanka!

Come on, make some for us, too.

Supriya. Kamal.

Hi. - Siddharth.

Hi. - Hi.

Varun. - Hi!

How do you want it? - Half soda, half water.

Down the hatch! Hurry up!

"Sister, your brother-in-law is insane."

"Sister, your brother-in-law is insane."

"Just look at him baiting the girls!"

"Just look at him baiting the girls!"

Yes, mom?

I'm on the way.

No, Sidhharth's...

I'm with Sidhharth.

Yes, mom.

Bye. Okay.

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

"L O V E...Love."

"Rock-n-Roll."

I'm done. You can carry on.

Sorry?

Oh, no. You're misunderstanding.

I wasn't ogling at you.

The trainer isn't here. So he asked me to keep an eye on your form.

So, how was my form?

Well, running was 8 on 10.

I mean, it's a sure thing that eloping...

...running isn't an issue at all.

Abs, almost nine on ten.

But, I'd advise you not to do that, too much.

Yes, you could have a better back.

It's a 6 on 10, right now.

Especially at this young age.

You really need a strong back.

And squats and stretching? 10 on 10.

So, how do I get a ten on ten in all?

It's not too difficult.

I can work on you... your form, till you get 10 on 10.s.

And what would you charge for your services?

A coffee and a conversation?

Costa? Five?

Do you want to pretend to have a conversation?

Or, do you really want to have a conversation?

How about seven? My place?

So, are you going to tell me your name, or...

Tarun.

Kusum.

Here you are. Take a bitter mouthful.

Did you ever think, it would come to this?

What happened? - He found a girl in Meerut.

Are they getting you married?

What do you mean that?

I found her. And she asked for my number.

She wanted to recover his data.

That's just an excuse.

And why are you getting so jealous, loser?

You should be happy for me.

Forget about him.

You tell me. How did you score?

You won't believe it! I was in great shape, yesterday.

For a moment, I thought she was ogling me, more than I ogled her.

First, I was boozing with the boys and she came with her friend.

Then, when I noticed her a bit, she began to smile.

I met her, even while I was dancing.

I mean, we danced to the wedding song...

...it was like a reel life moment.

Did you ask her, properly?

I hope, she's not distantly related in some way.

Desperate boys often slip up like that in weddings.

You be quiet.

She's not related, okay? She was coming to Noida.

So, I said, you don't have to go alone. I'll drop you home.

It's not safe, you know?

Protection? So you did it from the point of view of protection?

Then, did you get her to tie a rakhi and promise to protect her forever?

Gogo, let it go. This is serious.

So, did you get the hard disk, while you were at it?

*** you! You're getting to be just like him.

You can't bear to see me happy.

It's not my fault, you're not getting any!

The house seems like prison to me.

It's good, I have Supriya, now.

I was thinking, there's no point in wasting time with you guys.

I remember all the stuff dad used to say about you.

Listen, we are happy. Now, tell me more.

Well, she's coming home at 4 pm.

To our house? - Yes, loser! To our house.

The girl calls me up at 10 am in the morning.

She said, hi, this is Supriya. Remember me, from last night?

Supriya. Sounds so sweet just to say it.

It feels as if, Ms. Lata has sung a ballad.

"It feels, as if... - Alright, zip it. It's a very sweet name."

Don't get addicted to the sugar or you'll get diabetes.

So, tell me. Did you get a call?

Not yet. - Which call is he expecting?

He's not lagging too far behind.

He certainly gave his number.

Didn't he tell you?

I see, so that's it!

How can that loser tell me about it?

I've set up for a date and he didn't even get a call!

No wonder! He's up early on a Sunday and touching that phone...

...as is Katrina Kaif is about to pop out of it!

And that's why you're so jealous, loser!

You didn't get a call, and you're calling my girl, my sister!

Listen, guys like you who pass out their numbers are a dime a dozen.

Girls don't call up just like that.

You can take that from me in writing, you won't get any calls!

Hello? - I was just checking.

Are you dead yet? - I was saved.

By me? - No. By Kiwi and Litchi.

Their names are Ruchi and Tina.

Those are really boring names.

I like a name like Chiku.

Full of juice. So juicy!

So, what's your name? Fruity?

Anshul. Get it tattooed.

I've heard, you're prone to forgetting.

Do you forget to have dinner or do you forget that too?

Le Bistro Du Parc?

See you at 7? - See you.

So, brothers.

There's no hard disk, there's no data.

No data recovery, either!

When a boy and girl schedule a meeting without any agenda...

...it's called a date.

Awesome, my boy. You've saved my image.

So, Chauka, you were saying something to me.

Buddy, let's clean up quickly.

Let's book you a ticket. - For what?

He's going on a date, too. Obviously, you'll watch a movie.

Or are you going to be wandering aimlessly outside the house?

I'm not going anywhere.

Clean this mess up, and get out of here, quietly!

Your sister-in-law will be here at 4 pm.

I've got a date at 7 pm! Why must I leave so early?

Gogo, don't kill me, now.

Aren't you my brother? Don't I clear out, when you have company?

You would have to leave.

You seem to forget the lease is in my name.

So, that's what it's come to now.

You had to say that to me.

I called her over, since I thought it's my house.

Alright.

I was mistaken. - Hey, ***!

Cut the melodrama.

Back off! I'm leaving, since you called me brother.

Go for any reason, but, just go!

Then, I'll tie you a rakhi and get a tattoo saying...

...that you are my brother.

Oh, hi. Come in.

Hi.

Really sorry, the house is in such a mess.

Actually, my friends stay with me, I just stepped in, just now.

Oh. I see.

Will you have something? Cause, this is going to take some time.

I can order a pizza.

I don't mind some water.

Sure, I'll get it.

Please, make yourself comfortable. - Okay.

Water?

Can I touch it to my lips?

More?

No, thanks. - Okay.

So, you work at a call center?

BPO. - BPO.

Excuse me.

Happy anniversary, sir!

This is not mine. Sorry, you've the wrong address.

Mr. Siddharth? - Yes?

It's for you, sir.

Happy Anniversary to Mr. Siddharth and Ms. Supriya...

It's not mine, buddy! Why don't you just wait for a bit?

Listen, it's not mine. I didn't place any order.

It's a gift for you, sir.

Listen, I told you.

Take this away. We don't want it.

It's paid, sir. I can't take it back.

*** ***, did you order it?

Yes, what's the score, my brother?

Did you open the account yet?

*** give the phone to Thakur.

Two, please. - Did sister-in-law like the flowers?

Thakur, what is this ***? You can't do stuff like that!

It's okay for us, why make the poor girl feel uncomfortable?

Uncomfortable? Darn you, you threw me out of my own house.

And you want her to feel comfortable?

Get lost, you guys!

Get lost, it seems. - Get lost, is it?

Supriya, I'm really sorry. This...

...my friends Gogo and Thakur were just kidding...

It's okay.

(Didi tera devar deewana phone ringtone)

Yes, brother. Is the ring tone alright?

Yes, it's fine.

Listen, just come back home.

Okay, enjoy yourself. That was the last of it.

Oh, my. So, you told them that, too?

Well, actually...

Are you going to give me some wine, or...

Hi.

Thank you.

You're quite beautiful, actually.

I mean, I know love at first sight is a pretty useless concept.

But, it's possible with you.

I'm not saying that I am, though.

So, don't get me wrong.

But, it could happen with you.

So I am.

How many hours did you think and prepare to get that line right?

Why don't you hit me with the line you rejected?

Oh!

Okay, let's hear the one which was the least bad.

You know, what was my favorite fruit as a kid?

And?

You can't be here. You have to leave.

Why? - Outside eatables not allowed.

Ruchika. The name is Ruchika.

Oh, my God, that name is a flashback to the 70s.

It's a nice name!

Excuse me. - Yes.

Can you get me a Chiku soup?

Sorry, sir. I don't have that.

Chiku salad? - Sorry, sir.

I am sure, you have some Chiku halwa! - Sorry, sir.

If I knew you're an engineer...

...I promise you, you wouldn't have stood a chance.

Nobody is as boring as an engineer.

Give us engineers one chance and see.

No. Engineers are boring.

Well, at least you don't look like an engineer.

Why? What do engineers look like?

Like uncles.

Like your uncle?

No, just uncles in general.

Okay, how much do I owe you for the wine?

Oh, it's okay.

No Tarun, it's not okay.

How much for that?

And this is not boring?

It's a non negotiable for me.

I'll take it.

Let me salvage the image of the engineers, first.

"The machines of my heart are in motion..."

"...now that, I have seen her branded walk."

"All my wicked, lazy desires...

...are excited by the glow on her face."

"The machines of my heart are in motion..."

"...now that, I have seen her branded walk."

"All my wicked, lazy desires...

...are excited by the glow on her face."

"All the girls, and so many of them around...

...yet, I've given up chasing them."

"Let the word get out, fill the pages of newspapers...

...with all the writeups."

"The loverboys' hearts...

...now, belong to Paro."

"The loverboys' hearts...

...now, belong to Paro."

"Paro in the town."

"Her shiny stole is sheer poison, while her eyes are brown."

"Paro's tattoo shimmers."

'It's a piece of diamond."

"You look full on desi, my love..."

...but, you've got an international attitude."

"Paro's tattoo shimmers."

'It's a piece of diamond."

"You look full on desi, my love..."

...but, you've got an international attitude."

"Take a little break and look into my eyes."

"I am a fan of your charms."

"The fever is rising higher and...

...now, the loverboys are afflicted with love!"

"The loverboys' hearts...

"The loverboys' hearts...

...now, belong to Paro."

"The loverboys' hearts...

...now, belong to Paro."

Good morning.

It's certainly good for you.

What's the matter with him? - He's going to meet his mom-in-law.

When did that happen?

Loser, you have to leave the room to know what happened.

Did she inform the family? - I guess, she'll tell them today.

Or, who knows? She may have already told them.

She said, she wants me to meet her parents.

When are you going to tell your family?

I will have to do that, soon.

Who knows? Aunt might bring the marriage topic to the table.

Besides, her family is rather old fashioned.

There are no issues at my place. But still...

Yes, right. Why should you have any issues?

It's not as if you listen to anyone.

You can just send your dad an invite.

So, what about your kitty party?

Tonight. But, I'm leaving now.

I have to take Chiku and Ruchi to the nail spa.

Are you going to apply the nail polish?

The lady is sleeping.

Did you make the tea, Mr. Thakur? - He did.

Good morning.

Good morning.

And we drank it, too.

So, we're leaving.

Wait up. Where are you going.

Sit.

He's going for Ruchi's birthday party.

And this man here is going to meet his mom-in-law.

Really? - No, I'm just meeting her, casually.

Let's all meet up together, once.

I mean, us, Chiku, Supriya.

I also want to meet them.

Yes, of course.

Let's have dinner tomorrow after the match.

I was telling Tarun.

Yes.

Let's go.

Bye.

Just see about the rent.

Sharma called up.

I'll pay tomorrow.

Don't you all split?

The rent? We do. - Yes.

I mean, we don't do the math for every little thing, but...

I just think, every little thing may seem trivial...

...but, food, petrol, electricity...

...all of that just adds up, right?

Don't worry about it.

It's open.

Hello, aunt. - Hello.

Hey!

Come in, Siddharth!

Aunt.

What is this? - What is what?

You should have brought the wedding procession!

What do you mean?

Why are you all dolled up?

Supriya, you told me to come home to meet your parents.

Siddharth, I said, come home.

If my parents are around, you can meet them, too.

What do you mean? - Siddharth!

You're here, like any of my other friends.

As a friend.

I thought... - Siddharth, please understand.

I can't take the risk of them saying no.

I want them to get to know you first.

They should start liking you.

And, then I will tell them at the right time.

Yes.

Come along, meet my friends.

Hi!

That's Siddharth. - Hey, hi. What's up?

I'm waiting in the car! I won't wait on the road!

Do you see a white pillar?

What pillar? - Just a moment, sir.

Why do you need a moment? - She'll be here. - A black car...

Walk towards it, then! - She's on the phone.

Look at her. There she is.

I can't see you.

The fat lady, the ugly kid...

Okay, I see you!

There she comes.

Where did she go?

Gogo, tell me. Whose nails are better?

Gogo?

Cheating!

Gogo?

Look at them. - Chiku, they're nice.

Really? - Yes.

I hate them. I specifically told her, periwinkle.

She ruined my style on purpose.

But she said, it'll get like that when it dries up.

No, it won't. I'm a 110 % sure it just won't happen.

See, Gogo? Do you think this will match periwinkle blue?

Chiku, where's my phone?

I don't know. - Oh, no.

Give me a call!

Check your bags.

My nails are wet, Gogo. - Her nails are wet, Gogo!

No, no, no!

Tina! - Tina!

My bag.

Gogo, you check.

Take a look! - Make a call!

Yes, Chiku! - Make the call.

Chiku!

What's happening?

It's ringing.

It must be on silent mode.

It's not vibrating either.

It's in silent mode, Gogo!

Let's go back.

Chiku, I'm going to stop for a bit and check.

No, I'm sure I left it back there. Let's go back!

Gogo, let's turn back! - Yes, Chiku!

Gogo, turn back! - Yes, Chiku, I need to get to a U-turn!

We need to get to a U-turn.

When is the U-turn expected to turn up?

Where's everybody else?

Aunt, Arjun has a shift. - I see.

Uncle, this is Siddharth. - Hello, uncle.

I haven't seen you before.

Uncle, I... - Uncle, he doesn't have any time.

We keep asking him to meet up.

What do you do, son?

I work in TCS, as a software engineer. - Oh.

He repaired sister's hard drive from the wedding.

Really? Thank you.

We were worried about that.

Your printer is not working either, right?

Can you take a look, son? - Yes, aunt.

Right now?

Eat your food, first. - Okay.

The rice, son? - No, that's enough, thank you.

Pass me the rice!

Supriya's dad will eat some.

Don't you think, when uncle and aunt will find out later...

...they will be all the more upset that you lied?

Siddharth! I know my parents.

It's difficult for them to accept that I'm dating someone.

Specially for dad.

My family isn't like your family.

If dad finds out, I'll be doomed.

I will have to quit working and socializing.

Do you trust me?

Absolutely.

I'm so excited! - Hey.

Baby. - It's my...

What happened?

No one loves me!

I love you, Tina. I love you.

I also love you, right?

Tina, I love you.

See? Anshu also loves you.

I love you, too!

I'll drive. - Yes, Tina'll drive.

Baby! Baby!

Anshu, let's go.

Baby, she's drunk.

I'm not drunk!

Do you think I'm drunk? I'm not drunk.

I love being a queen.

Dance! It's her birthday! - Yeah.

Watch it, watch out for the side! - Awesome!

Baby is in trouble! - Baby is in trouble!

Sunny! - Sunny!

Happy Birthday, Ruchi!

Thank you, Sunny! - Sunny, say hi to Anshu!

Hi, Anshu! - Hey!

Gogo... - Sunny.

No, no, no, no!

No!

Oh, no!

Hi! - Hello.

You're shameless. Four overs are done.

Don't blame him, Sid. We got held up at the car garage.

See?

He retired.

Yeah, Gogo? - Yeah, baby.

What happened? - Sachin retired.

What about the car? - Nothing much. Just a bit...

Sid, you won't believe what happened yesterday.

Tina was so drunk, she completely passed out.

And when Tina drinks drinks...

...then I don't think anyone can stop her.

Right, Gogo?

Yes.

Then what?

Then, Tina wanted to drive.

She said, give me the keys.

Then, what?

Then, Gogo couldn't refuse.

I mean, it was Ruchi's birthday!

And we were all so high!

Right, Gogo?

Yes, I mean, since it was her birthday, so... - Yes.

I mean, you won't believe how fast we drove!

Really? We touched 110, I think.

Or was it 120, Gogo?

It was around 70, I think.

No, Gogo! How would you know?

We were in the back seat.

Tina told me, it was 120.

But, Sid, despite the speed, nothing happened.

And you know when we banged?

When, Gogo?

While parking.

I mean, isn't that hilarious?

Nothing happened the whole way...

...and we got hit while parking!

How silly!

Very silly.

Yeah! Match.

Chauka (Four runs)!

Chauka!

Chauka!

Chauka!

Chauka! - Yes!

Alright, they will win, easily.

I'll see you tonight?

Where? - At the club.

Tina told you in the morning.

Aren't we all going for dinner, today?

I told you, remember?

Yeah, right. I forgot.

Cool. See you guys.

I'll drop you. - No, no.

I have a driver. Bye.

Bye. - I could still drop you.

She'll go. Gogo.

See you.

You don't let me so much as touch the keys after drinking!

And Tina was burning the tires at 120 since it was Ruchi's birthday!

While you were romancing in the back seat!

He can let drunk women drive the car.

But, even if I have a hangover, I take a rickshaw.

He doesn't care for anyone.

I tell you, let's pack his stuff up...

...and toss him out of our house, at this very moment.

What's your problem, fool? He lets you drive it.

And our house? You seem to forget I signed the lease.

Loser, I am not fighting for myself. I'm not selfish like you.

I am fighting for the rights of all friends, who have friends like him.

But, you won't get it. You're useless, loser!

He's totally pathetic, man!

If a man can be late for an India Pakistan match, he's lost to us.

Look at me! On principle, I haven't missed a single toss!

The world may turn topsy turvy.

Some rules in your life aren't broken for anyone.

It may be your parents, your boss, the best of friends.

"Sister, your brother-in-law is insane."

Yes, Supriya?

Yes, Supriya.

Yes, Supriya.

Yes, Supriya.

Supriya and her mom want to go to Gaffar market.

They want to buy a printer.

Six runs!

Yes.

Yes, Sidhharth chose a printer.

It's nice.

It's the perfect price. Should I buy it?

Alright.

Please pack this. - Okay, ma'am.

Shall we leave, aunt?

Yes, there is a dress shop next door. Let's go there.

Who does she think she is?

Cold milk and chocos!

Shall we go? - Already?

Let's have another round of the same.

I have a shift, actually.

Call center?

BPO.

Forget about it.

What do you mean by that?

What is she trying to prove?

That we're all cheap?

I didn't say anything, because of you and your equation with Tarun.

Otherwise, I'd buy the restaurant and hit her in the face with it.

Witch!

We're splitting, right?

It's okay.

No, Tarun, it's not okay.

We'll split. It's not on you.

I'll take it later from you.

Here.

It's okay.

I will tell Goga and Chauka about each one's share.

Right. - It's okay.

Why did you have to do that? - What do you mean?

Why are you getting into it?

Goga, Chauka and I have our own equation.

And why are you even getting into money matters?

Why? Because I'm a girl...

...that's why, I'm not supposed to get into money matters?

Tarun, I don't agree with it.

I did what I thought was right.

Yes, you could have done that later.

Why did you involve everyone in it?

I didn't involve everyone.

I said, I'm splitting.

Now, it's up to them if they feel guilty...

...that after I am saying it, they got their cards out?

That's bound to happen, if you insult everyone.

Who did I insult?

I did what I always do!

And I won't be apologetic about it.

You know, this has always mattered to me.

It's non negotiable for me.

I am not forcing anyone.

But I will not participate in this exploitation...

...in the name of friendship.

And if you have any problem, then, fine!

I won't go out with your friends.

Anyways, I barely know them.

Kusum. - Just decide.

Am I the kind of girl you want in your life, who speaks her mind?

Or am I too uncomfortable for your world?

Call me, when you are sure.

Thakur, come in, Thakur.

Thakur.

Yes.

What did the lady say?

What did Chiku say?

She said, she'd buy the restaurant and hit her in the face with it.

You whine over the cost of a plate of snacks, fool!

Supriya seemed quite upset.

That's just the way she looks.

Don't think too hard.

She is new to our lives.

She'll need some time to figure it out.

Those who really care say things that make people uncomfortable.

Otherwise, why should she care?

Girls have to feel that their boyfriends...

...support their ways and methods.

Take the call, support her.

I'll do it later, fool.

It's not like you. We have an understanding.

We understand each other without a word being said.

Thanks for not picking up my phone.

I've understood, I will never bother you again.

Bye.

Over and out.

Understood, what?

Anshu, I've realized.

Chiku, what have you realized?

That I am better off alone. - What?

Anshu, no! I've decided.

Decided what, baby?

That I don't need you all.

I can be happy alone, I don't need anyone.

Chiku, baby.

You all think, I'm dependent on you'll.

I won't be able to live without any of you.

That is so wrong!

I don't need any one of you.

At least tell me what happened?

I clearly told Ruchi, we can't go out clubbing today.

But, we can go tomorrow.

So, how is that my fault?

Did you ask me before making the dinner plan with Kusum?

But, I told you, right? - See? You told me.

Why should I change my life as per you people?

Why should I snuff out every one of my wishes for all of you?

I wanted to go clubbing and they went without me!

I didn't want to go out for dinner.

But, I had to go for Kusum.

I went there and was told me and my boyfriend are cheap.

I am sorry, baby.

Of course, you can't live your life for anyone else.

Who's it? - Ruchi.

Do not pick her call!

Chiku! - You want to take her call?

Fine, you go to her.

Don't even mention that witch! She ruined your mood!

I don't even want to look at her.

Damn right, you won't.

I won't speak to her and neither will you.

You know what? Text her.

Text her, right now.

What you did today... No.

After what you did to Chiku today...

...don't ever expect me to talk to you again.

Ever. Like, never. Ever, ever.

Write that, Gogo!

Sent. - Good.

The dinner bill.

Please, pay it on time, it's a non negotiable.

"Sister, your brother-in-law is insane."

Yes, Supriya? - It's mom's birthday, today.

Buy a cake.

Pick me up after the shift.

Yes, Supriya.

Your mom's birthday!

Wish her first of all in the morning.

Don't forget. Save a reminder.

I thought, I'd come up now...

It will look odd if you come up at this time.

Pink? Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink!

No, Anshu! Concentrate!

Salmon pink, old rose pink.

Carnation pink, hot pink. Magenta pink.

Come, now we'll choose reds.

Looks nice, right?

Hey, what's the matter? - It's too expensive.

Tarun, I told you, I didn't want you to buy it.

Can't I get you a gift?

Promise me, no expensive gifts, after this?

Yes, sure.

So, is it done?

Yes, uncle. Almost done. - Dad.

What is it? - Nothing.

Hi!

Is the patch up done?

You tried to make sure it didn't, but it is done!

Let's go out.

Your choice. It'll be my treat.

Don't forget to take it from me.

Why don't you buy a new one?

I am saving up for an iPhone.

I just have to use this for another couple of months.

Tarun, I am not taking this.

Seriously.

Grey or silver, sir? - Gold.

When will you tell them?

I will tell them when the time is right.

Cheers! - Cheers.

Yeah, baby.

You were just waiting to drop me and go back to your friends, right?

Yeah, baby. No, baby!

It's been two hours since you dropped me home.

You still haven't called me.

Yeah, baby. No, baby.

"Finally your senses are tingling."

"Entered boyfriend Bunty."

"You ran for your life thinking it's all useless."

"She said you're her best friend.

"She blinked her eyes and brought a collar."

"Kissed you on the forehead..."

"...followed by an innocent hug."

"He was jumping with joy..."

You know, sometimes I feel one must have a credit card.

What if you need cash suddenly?

What if you have to buy something, online?

I've applied twice. I just can't get it.

I can get you an add on on my card.

No!

Seriously, no.

"She sounded really sweet..."

"That he was playing..."

Yes, uncle. - I hit the 1 billion lottery!

I got an email. - The 1 billion lottery?

Who sent you the email?

It's from Coco Cola, Germany.

Uncle, actually, that's a scam. Everyone gets that.

What do you mean by that?

I got it, there must be something to it. - Right, uncle.

Come home at once. - Yes, right away, uncle.

"The collar's strapped, you've become a dog."

I told my mom about us.

She likes you.

What are you trying to tell me by saying that?

I am just telling you that I told mom...

Do you know how guilty I feel?

You think, I don't want to tell them.

I never said that.

Do you trust me?

Isn't this dress a bit too revealing?

Typical boyfriend!

Anshu, please. I know you think I am dumb.

But, just because you're my boyfriend that doesn't mean...

...that you are going to teach me how to dress.

"The collar's been strapped, you've become a dog."

Such a rip off!

I told you, it's overpriced and not value for the money.

And the food's so not worth it.

Next time, you want to burn up some cash, give it to me.

I make better food at home.

Anshu, your facebook status is still single.

You don't want to tell people you're with me?

I don't even remember the last time I logged in on Facebook.

And you're talking about my status!

It's just Chiku's status is committed, in a relationship.

And your status is single.

Don't you think it's weird?

Yes, it is. - Yes, it is?

Don't you know we are together?

Yes, but what's the problem with changing the status?

Tell me the password.

Let me login.

You don't trust Chiku?

Don't ask me, again.

Dobara (Again).

Mat Poochna (Don't ask).

So, guys, the demo for the next sale is on.

They are coming over at 7:30 pm tomorrow evening.

Check the UI thoroughly, one last time in the morning.

Okay?

Tarun, it will be really great for us...

...if you could attend this meeting.

Even after office hours.

Yeah.

Hello? - Good morning.

Urgent? - What?

Is it something urgent?

I mean, I just... - I'll call you.

What are you doing? - You come here.

Sit down here.

Look at this.

I want to make a site.

For this, too.

Uncle, we have to create a profile, after signing up.

Then, do it. - For whom?

For her.

For Supriya, who else do you think?

Hi! When did you arrive?

Dad called him.

We wanted to check the matrimonial website on the internet.

Father's name. You know that.

Height. - Well...

Five six.

Put that in.

And weight?

58.

Put that in.

Complexion? - Fair.

No, very fair.

Drink, no. Smoke, no.

The profile is ready. Start looking for boys.

I was going to tell you.

But, you thought, I am not ready.

Siddharth, please.

Don't stress me out any more, right now.

Seriously? I find out from your parents, just by chance...

...that they are scouting for boys for you and you are stressed!

I am 25!

At this age, all the parents start looking.

And it's not like, they know I have a boyfriend.

They are bound to look, right? - What does that mean?

They aren't going to tell themselves that!

I know, Siddharth, but...

...the point is, that it is complicated now.

How can I tell them suddenly after you are so close to them?

They'll feel cheated.

Now, they will feel worse that you always had bad intentions.

What is that supposed to mean?

I want to marry you!

Since when is that a bad intention?

Siddharth, you may or may not believe it...

...but I want to marry you, too.

Supriya.

I'll be there.

I was calling you.

Anything urgent?

Baby, I was a bit stressed out due to work at that time.

Yes.

The boss is hounding me these days.

Tarun, that's what a boss is meant to do.

At least, you should have listened to me.

I'm sorry.

It was something urgent. - What was it?

It's done, now.

Okay, but what was it?

What can you do about it now? It's all done.

Still, tell me.

Why?

Oh, you want to know, since you don't believe it was urgent.

No! Anyways, forget about it.

It's done, right? So what?

No, Tarun. That's not the point.

You always act as if you are the only one who works.

Kusum, they pay me 300,000 a month!

You don't... - Okay, so say what you mean.

Your job is more important since you earn more than me.

What about me? I earn just 50,000!

So of course, I can spare time for you.

My work doesn't really matter.

Baby, all I am saying is that the higher the salary...

...the more employers expect from you.

I am doing this for both of us.

But, I can't help it. I am under pressure.

On top of that, my boss doesn't like me.

I'm just sick of this job.

Then, why are you doing it? Quit!

It's not like I haven't thought of it.

But, it's not so easy.

We need it.

And we have to plan a lot.

I am doing that.

But, it will take some time.

I've planned to start something on my own.

But, first I have to set up the base.

I have to create some security.

Okay?

Yes.

Hi. - Who's Neha?

She was m y ex-girlfriend.

We never discussed her, so there was nothing to tell.

I never thought about deleting the mails.

So, do you still read them?

Here, let me delete them.

All done? Happy, now?

Happy? I'm not so shallow.

So, this is why you didn't change your status!

While she is single, you can't change your own.

You've already changed it.

And you logged into my mail, too.

You know it's not right. Did I say anything about it?

Logging in is such a cardinal sin!

We aren't even talking about what I found after logging in!

I am so sorry!

Please change your password.

Change it for Gmail, too.

You'll have to change it for Skype, Yahoo, everything!

Neha, what is this...

Did you just call me Neha?

What?

What did you just say?

I said, the topic about Neha is done, right?

Don't you lie to me!

You stored those lousy mails, you called me Neha!

And then, you're lying to me.

Baby, I just mixed up 2 sentences in a hurry, I swear!

It was just a casual relationship with her.

You're so insensitive!

No wonder she left you.

Chiku, she didn't leave me.

We had a...

...why are we talking about her?

Do you still miss her?

What do you want from me?

Should I get her to talk to you?

I'm sorry, I dated someone else before you.

I didn't know that I was going to date Chiku at some point.

If I knew, I wouldn't have dated anyone else.

How many other girlfriends are you in touch with on Facebook?

And, we are back!

There is no one else, my lady!

Neha and I aren't in touch, either.

Please, trust me.

Don't you talk to me about trust.

I found the mails in your account and you called me Neha.

Baby, why don't you just delete my account?

Yes, so you can reactivate it, in case we break up.

How did you manage to make this about our breakup?

Since when is Facebook so important?

Post your picture on my profile.

Send yourself public messages from my account.

About how much I love you!

Why are you so hassled about a casual relationship?

Do you think, I'm that desperate?

You're going to say that about me to your next girlfriend, right?

Casual relationship? I was just having fun?

Baby. I love you.

And how will I say it since there won't be anyone after you?

Because, I am not going to let you go.

Do you even know why I called you?

It was because of Neha.

No! See? That's what you think of me!

I called because...

...Ruchi is going back home for 2 weeks.

So, the house is going to be empty.

You can come and live with me, if you wish.

But, now I think I am going to ask Tina.

No baby, why call Tina? I'm still around!

No, Gogo. Just let it be.

Don't do this, Chiku!

I am sorry, Chiku! I love you, baby.

Do you know, I've prayed so hard for this very day?

I wanted Ruchi to go home!

I made so many plans!

Just like girls plan for their honeymoon.

Exactly like that.

You can't survive without Chauka and Thakur.

Without whom?

Chauka and Thakur!

Chauka and Thakur, who?

Yes.

I just hope those fools hate me.

Which fools? The three fools?

The boy's family. - Which boy's family?

The people who came home on Sunday.

I told dad.

How much I hated the way... - The boy's family came to meet you?

The boy's parents came over.

It was a general first meeting.

Are you kidding me?

Why did you tell me so soon? Why not on the wedding day?

Well, I did tell you. - After meeting them.

Siddharth, I told you myself.

I could have hid this from you.

Besides, you don't have to behave as if you don't know anything.

How would I know?

Who created the profile? - Your dad strong-armed me into it.

Dad is looking at profiles.

So, obviously the boy's family is going to come to meet me.

What is so astounding about that?

So, do the horoscopes match?

The wedding date is set and the invites have been printed.

It's just another boy.

Don't mind it. You can officiate as the priest.

What's all this about waiting for the perfect time?

Is she going to release a rocket to Mars?

Is she consulting an astrologer about when to tell her family?

Should I call the astrologer and have an oblation?

What is up?

Seriously, don't they get it?

I mean, I'm a young boy with a good job...

...and I have quit boozing and my friends to languish at home.

Obviously, it's for their daughter.

Why else should I want to change bulbs and mend printers?

It's not as if he's Bill Gates and I love grocery shopping for him.

What do I get out of it? I have parents, they have birthdays.

Do they, by some chance feel, that...

...an orphan child is looking for his parents, through them?

No, come on! Once uncle asked me.

About my dad's profession.

I figured, I had hit the jackpot!

Then, he tells me, if your dad needs insurance let me know.

I have a friend, who is an agent.

So, even if I go ahead and say it...

...uncle, Supriya and I are going to elope, he won't listen.

He will say, really? Pay the power bill, as you leave.

Is the Tata website not working? - What?

The power website.

***, it's an expression. It's a way of saying it.

He's not actually going to say that.

Who's listening to you, anyway? Both my cards were declined.

How should I know? Check the statement, ***!

Am I under contract to do odd jobs for every family?

I didn't pay a bill at my place. All of you have turned into a maid!

All that's left is cleaning loos and they are going to ask for that, too!

Sid, the maid hasn't come home. Can you come over?

Listen, pick up some toilet cleaner on the way. Son, son, son.

This says it's maxed out.

The second one is maxed out, too!

You never know where the money goes, these days.

Have dinner out and you spend 2000 to 2500 easily.

In that case, I have to have dinner thrice a day to max out my card.

What's the limit?

Both together amount to 620,000.

Hey, kiddo! Did you break the bed, or just your back?

Don't ask.

My will is shattered.

Cry. Let it all out.

It's a night for tears.

I went there, thrilled to bits.

I thought, I'd give Chiku a tiny surprise.

Catch me!

Anshu! What are you doing?

Sunny!

I thought, you'd catch me. - Oh!

Oh, my cutie pie fell down!

Where does it hurt?

That witch!

Who? Shruti!

Who?

Sunny's girlfriend, Anshu! Ex.

I just don't get it. How can any girl leave Sunny?

He's been crying for two weeks straight.

Since his parents were hassled in Chandigarh, he came to Delhi.

He checked into a hotel since Tina told him of our plans.

I said, are you insane?

Me and Anshu can do this, anytime!

Should we take care of him, rather than have fun?

I dragged him out of there and got him to check out.

How can I leave him alone when he needs a friend, right?

Right.

I knew you'll understand.

Okay, listen.

I don't think, your being here will help him.

You saw it, right?

You and I will only remind him of him and Shruti.

I love you. - I love you, too.

So, let's say Chiku is your want and Sunny's need.

So, technically, this is alright.

How can girls manage to have boys for best friends?

Have you ever heard of me being a girl's best friend?

Or, does Thakur have a female BFF he chatters with on the phone?

Who are these boys, we don't see?

Where do they hide? When do they meet? What do they do?

I mean, look at a boy and tell me...

...how can he become a girl's best friend?

They look like us and move amongst us, too.

All it takes is just one heartbreak.

After that, they cry like girls.

Then, the girls feel sorry for them.

Then, sympathy, empathy and sensitivity.

They become girls and cling to the girls.

Babes! I was thinking... - Yes?

...I simply hate seeing you do something you don't want to.

Yes? - But, I understand.

So, I've got a plan.

We're going to start saving, okay?

Yes? - Tomorrow, I'm opening us a joint account.

We will save 20% of our salaries in it, every month.

And this we won't touch at all. Okay?

Yes. - This is like our future money.

Like our first step towards our future, okay?

Good plan, baby.

Isn't it? I knew it. Okay, I'll talk to you later.

I'll do some research on which bank offers the best interest rate.

Good night baby, love you!

I know what 20% from you would be. What about her?

20% of my 20%.

A man's mind is meant to absorb the knowledge of the world.

But, some fools use it to absorb a woman's nonsense.

If you squeeze the mind of a man in a relationship, you will find...

...you will find a bucketful of nonsense.

That amount of nonsense...

...is enough to make you sick. In fact, very sick.

My name is Chauka.

I have been in a relationship for the past year.

I have lost my mind, since I have been in a relationship.

I have stopped breathing.

I don't think, I can live for too long.

"The collar's been strapped, you've become a dog."

"The collar's been strapped, you've become a dog."

You know, Tarun, we were discussing something serious.

But, I don't think he heard a word.

He was just staring at me all the time.

I was so frustrated! I was like, at least listen to me, first.

Then, I'll stand up for 5 minutes and you can get an eyeful.

Don't forget to take it from me.

You know, they use organic veggies. It's really good for health.

I think, we should start that at home, too.

I mean, they are expensive.

But so much healthier and like, more natural, right?

What are you thinking.

Kusum, I have decided. I am quitting my job.

I've thought a lot about it.

There will never be a right time.

This is the time.

The later it gets, the more I will get caught up in all of it.

Then, it will be too tough to get out of it.

And the market's right. I have a good feeling about this.

We will have a bit of a money crunch for the first few months.

Nothing too serious.

I have planned for it.

But, from now on, let's control our expenses.

We can cut back on everything, you know...

You think, I should take the metro to work?

What? Why?

No, I just thought, it's not that bad.

A lot of people travel by it.

I'm talking about the externals.

How much can you save on traveling?

Yeah.

Yes. You're right!

Tarun, I am going to make a budget.

And we'll spend strictly according to that for everything.

Big, small, food, petrol, everything.

In fact, let's forget about the organic stuff for now.

Let's eat normal food.

We have been doing that, so far.

And these people? Rs. 600 for a salad!

Waste of money.

I'm not talking about this. - Be quiet, Tarun.

You're not alone in this.

I'm doing it, because I want to.

I'm doing it for us.

(Commentary)

Hey.

Now, you look like my Sunny.

It's a one day match, right?

Not live. Sachin's greatest innings show.

Change it. - Do it.

Good evening and welcome to Comedy Nights.

Sir? - Yes

Anyways, Sachin is over rated.

Yes, Sunny doesn't like Sachin.

Right, Sunny?

The fool plays only for himself.

What are you saying? Look at his record.

Yes, he has so many hundreds!

But, India never wins when he scores a hundred.

Never? I mean, check the record.

I also don't like Sachin. I like Kohli!

If you guys going to seat together by yourselves

I'll go to the market and get some vegetables.

- Baby, sugar? - One spoon.

Thank you, sweetie.

Here.

The buffalo goes in the water. - So why don't you also go in then.

Tell me! Which color?

No! - Tell me!

Pink.

Baby pink, or...

Liar! It's got an orange strap.

Be quiet, Sunny! You're not supposed to listen!

You should be sulking.

What will it take for you sit quietly?

It's been an hour.

She said, she'd tell him she's not interested in marriage in 10 minutes.

Does it take so long to say one little thing?

2 hours. You said, it would take 15 minutes.

My girlfriend is at a coffee shop, while I sit 20 feet away...

...watching her arrange her wedding and this is what you can think of?

Fool, I'm sitting here with you.

Whereas, my own girlfriend is watching a movie with Sunny.

I even booked the tickets for the show!

The rascal can go for movies and dinner.

Doesn't he see other couples out there?

But, when he sees me and Chiku, he acts as if...

...he'll drown in his sorrows and die.

And the next time we go husband hunting for your girlfriend...

...let's find an AC joint.

Talk to Chiku, and convince her.

Wow! I swear, you should be the Love Guru on the radio.

You're paying for this one, fool.

Why? Won't you pay for the muffin you stuffed down your face?

Oh, sorry, you even pay for Sunny's diapers, now.

Get lost! - Why didn't you get the finger bowl?

***, which coffee shops hand out finger bowls?

This one will hand them out from today.

No.

I think, the horoscopes match.

It appears, all aspects are in harmony.

Sister-in-law looks so happy!

Now, she's going to leave, only after planning their family.

What the *** is this?

Is this any way to reject a boy's proposal?

Where are they off to?

She texted, Pankaj will drop me home. Don't wait for me.

***! What kind of a name is Pankaj?

It sounds alright to me.

Now, he asked where I was going.

I told him, I'm going home.

So, he said, come, I'll drop you.

Tell me, what was I going to say?

No, it's fine. I'll manage.

He wasn't bad, you know?

He's educated, he settled down over there.

He's ideal husband material.

What do you think about him?

Siddharth? What's the matter?

Supriya... - Siddharth...

...you have to trust me.

Honestly? Right now I don't!

What is the matter? - The matter is that I'm a ***!

I make a girl's matrimonial profile.

I go to meet her future husband with her!

Just chill! She's just meeting the boy.

It's not as if that implies, she is going to marry him.

If she can leave you high and dry, while dating you...

...give her enough credit to do that to the other boy!

***, she can do whatever she wants! I don't want any more coffee!

I don't like coffee! Why should I drink coffee?

Pankaj wants to meet the girl where he likes.

Why should I spend my money to drink coffee?

Your money, fool?

What kind of a name is Pankaj?

Thakur, I'm thinking...

...I'm going to take Chiku on some foreign holiday next weekend.

Take her, or send her with Sunny?

You'll take Supriya and Kusum along, too.

It will be like a relationship spa type of thing.

Yes, ***. I'm *** quitting the job and you want to go abroad!

That too, with the girls in tow!

My girl is loaded. And she has her own credit card.

And in case you boys forgot...

...this is our first date anniversary for all of us.

Oh, my! Calendar boy, you're rocking the kitty party, now.

Fool, I reminded you.

Or I'm going to be the one patching you up when you take a hit.

That's not a bad idea.

It'll be a two day break from the family circus.

Where can we go?

Anywhere. Let's ask the ladies about the rest.

Are you insane?

They might just plan their own holidays.

They may end up going to three separate locations.

I'll talk to Supriya about a holiday, once.

We have a good rapport.

And sisters-in-law listen to their brothers-in-law.

Praise the Lord.

Baby, Gogo and Chauka are planning a holiday with Chicku and Supriya.

And...

I think, we are frustrated since we don't have quality time together.

Okay, how's Sunny doing, now? Still depressed?

You know these things take time, right?

But, he's better than before.

You know, he's coming to the gym also!

Really? Wow!

I know, you've been saying I can't spare any time for you.

And I know you're right.

Baby, she is going to be with Thakur!

We have decided once we get there, we are going to stay apart.

It's been so long since we had any time together.

And now that Sunny is also feeling better...

...and it's our first first date anniversary, too.

And I really wanted our first one to be extra special.

How could you imagine that I would forget?

Of course, baby. We so need a holiday!

Where are we going? - Let's go to Carabi. Done.

"Let me write a story about myself...

...surreptiously on your body."

"I'll hide away your shadow."

"Then, the world will search for us."

"I've given up everything to ask for you."

"I've given up everything to ask for you."

"I don't belong to myself, anymore."

"My love, you're my love."

"My love, you're my love."

"My love, you're my love."

"My love, you're my love."

"To lose myself, in your dreams."

"That's how much I love you."

"I could be part of your story...

...if you just say the word."

"I've forgotten everything, to be with you."

"I've forgotten everything, to be with you."

"You are my passion."

"My love, you're my love."

"My love, you're my love."

"My love, you're my love."

"My love, you're my love."

So, baby. - Yes?

I have given my notice at the office.

What do you mean?

I mean, I am going to quit my job.

Already?

Yes, I told you, right?

What is it?

You made it sound like you would quit after some months.

I didn't make it sound like anything.

Don't I get to have any say in this?

Of course, you have a say in it, Kusum!

Then, wait. Don't do it.

I have already handed in my notice.

So, I don't have a say.

Siddharth! What is it?

Are you seriously expecting me to answer that?

I took you along with me, to meet him.

I tell you everything that I do.

I lied to my parents to come here with you.

And I am sitting with you, right now.

But, you have ignored all of that and all you can see is...

...that, he sent me an sms.

Sunny, wait a moment.

Anshu, say hi to Sunny.

Hi.

Happy first, first date anniversary, buddy.

Aww!

Did you eat?

Yes

Did you go to the gym?

Yes.

Pretty chicks?

Did you meet Tina?

You knew I'm planning my website.

I told you, I'm quitting my job.

You could have told me then, that I... - Where's the plan?

Where is the model? Where is the research?

Some ground work has been done.

And, that's why I handed in my notice. I will do all this now.

So, that isn't called a plan!

Are you going to plan, now?

And anyways, do whatever you want to.

But, don't ask me, when my opinion obviously doesn't matter.

Why did you tell me to save money?

Why did you tell me to make a budget?

Why did you tell me to monitor expenses?

You wanted to do that!

Right.

I am your assistant, right?

Please?

It's our first holiday.

Let's not spoil it.

Siddharth!

But, I don't want to do some things, yet.

You know?

No! I don't know.

What are you saying?

It's not as if we are marrying after 4 years. We can wait.

You again... - I'm just being polite.

Should I start ignoring it?

No. Carry on with the sms game.

Siddharth!

This is not gossip, Sunny!

Oh, come on! It's Tina. This is...

Mute it for a moment.

Hold on, one second.

When are we going for lunch? We're quite late,

Let's order in.

This is why we came here on a holiday.

So we could spend some time together.

If we had to have an anniversary lunch with Sunny...

...we could have stayed back there.

Anshu! It's Sunny.

He's my best friend.

And me? Who am I?

Sunny, wait one second. - I thought, you had...

Why will I mute it?

What's wrong if he hears it?

Sunny, be quiet for one moment.

Unfreaking-believeable!

I told you to wait!

Sisters-in-law listen to brothers-in-law.

Tell me, if he was talking to you on such a holiday...

...would I mind? Tell me.

You came here, just now, right?

Do you think, I would refuse to let him go with you, if he were here?

He sends me 10 sms.

Then, I reply to one.

You tell me. Should I ignore him?

What if dad finds out? Won't he have doubts?

I am just worried about him.

I will help him.

There's you, there's Chauka.

I really think, he's taking a hasty decision.

I never enjoyed watching the match.

I could see that you knew that, even then.

Only Anshu and Tarun didn't know.

So, I sat through India's batting innings, right?

It is a big deal to lie to my family and come here.

You are his best friend, right? Talk to him.

That it is such a silly decision!

I'm going whack him.

Why are you crying? Wait, let him get here. I'll slap him.

I will talk to him.

He gets upset really quickly.

Okay, wipe your tears.

The lady can cry, too!

Oh, my! Don't get so stressed out.

I'm here. Don't worry.

She is just a bit concerned about you.

She cares for you.

It's not her fault, you don't have a girl for a best friend.

Why don't you trust sister-in-law?

"Sister, your brother-in-law is insane."

Yes, uncle?

Come home at once.

Dress up well.

It's important.

Okay, uncle.

This is Siddharth.

He is Supriya's friend.

But, you could consider him as our son.

Offer him something to eat.

So, he's like an adopted brother.

Well, it's implied that he is a brother.

I have decided how I will tell dad.

Siddharth!

Dad didn't say yes to them, yet.

And I said, I will tell him... - Don't tell him!

It's not the right time, yet.

Siddharth... - Listen, just marry him.

Are you crazy? - Uncle is ready to get you married.

But, he is not willing to hear about me.

What kind of *** up thing is that? - Don't talk to me in this language.

Listen, you decide whether you want to tell him or not.

When, how and which language will you use.

Just call me, when you have told him.

Siddharth! I didn't agree to the wedding.

Siddharth!

Isn't she up, yet?

Good morning. - Good morning.

You're up late, today.

Ah.

Amazing! Sunny not at home!

Hey, man.

Why was he in your bedroom?

What?

Did he sleep with you?

Yes, so what?

We went off to sleep while chatting at night.

Sunny. Will you give us five minutes?

Yes, sure. I'll be in the bedroom.

If a person was sleepy while chatting...

...then the other person could have slept in the other room.

Enough, Anshu.

I am not even going to dignify this with a discussion.

A boy slept with you in your bed.

And you're telling me you won't dignify that...

...with an answer?

Stop making it sound like I slept with him!

He's my best friend.

I have had enough of this best friend charade.

What is wrong with you?

He's my childhood friend.

If I was interested in him, why would I even date you?

Alright, so he's your best buddy since childhood.

But, there is a relationship, right?

If he is more important than me, why am I here?

And your childhood is past you.

There is a time for everything, when things seem right.

He may have wrestled with you as a kid.

Can he do that, even now? No, right?

What is it? Is everything alright?

No, everything is not alright.

Anshu, don't talk to him in this tone.

Leave him out of this, this is our problem.

Right, this is our problem.

We. Do you understand what that means?

What is the matter? Just tell me.

He's upset, that we slept together.

Oh, no, Anshu!

You know, there is nothing of that sort going on.

We are just good friends.

You should trust Chiku at least that much.

Exactly!

Seriously, don't you get it? Or you guys just playing dumb?

Forget about the trust!

There is a difference between being trusting and a cuckold!

Do whatever you want and then expect me, in the name of trust...

...not to have any issues with that.

I'm seriously done with this.

You can elope, if you want.

We won't stop you.

You shouldn't have told them so soon.

You should have taken some more time.

We didn't wait for the right time.

Revealing stuff too quickly can cause problems.

Do you think, if we had waited longer, they would believe us?

What do you want from me?

Oh! I'm asking for too much!

I am so sorry!

I know, you told uncle...

...and he didn't listen. So, what can you do about it?

It's not all that simple.

You know, it doesn't seem so when I look at you.

It doesn't seem like you mind, too much.

The way you're giving up so easily...

...it doesn't seem like it ever mattered to you.

Do you think, it's easy for me?

Alright, then. I'll talk to uncle again.

No, you're not going to do that.

It can't be done.

I know, it won't happen.

I always knew it.

I don't know why I loved you.

I have ruined your life, too.

I am sorry. - You are sorry?

Great! What else could I want?

Siddharth! You should understand me.

What should I understand? Where should I shove that apology?

What should I do with that?

After one and a half year, you realize you shouldn't have done it.

That it was a mistake!

What should I do with that apology?

By God.

I've never felt so *** up.

And mind you, I already felt I was pretty *** up, anyway.

But, not like this.

Go on.

Go!

I know, you're avoiding me.

I tried not to tell you.

But, I am two weeks late.

I don't really know, Tarun.

And now? - This was negative, too.

But, these tests are not too reliable.

Yes, but, all five tests can't be wrong.

How do you know, Tarun?

Are you pregnant, or is it me?

I am saying, you could be late, due to stress.

I read on the net, it's quite common.

Were you hoping, I'm not pregnant?

Weren't you hoping for that, too?

Yes. Perhaps.

I guess.

But, I don't know.

For a moment, I thought this is right.

I was nervous too, but in a good way.

Didn't you feel like that?

Kusum, what is this sudden...

What if the test was positive?

We would have discussed that in that scenario.

What you mean? Imagine, I am pregnant.

In that case, I am with you no matter what you decide.

Tarun!

I don't know, Tarun.

I just feel, I am ready to be a mother.

But, a while ago, that thought was scaring you.

I was scared at the thought of being alone.

But, now that you are here I felt it can be done.

It's a partnership deed. Have a look at it.

Chauke, did you see that?

The boy is doing accounts, now.

Loser, don't misunderstand this. I am the boss.

Yes, you are, but...

Then, take my signature and do the job, like employees do.

You are talking nonsense.

Did you transfer the money?

I'll get it done, by tomorrow.

The money can be arranged. Just read it once.

Gogo, I tell you, this guy has hatched an evil plan.

He's into ownership of everything these days.

That's what happens when a girl is in your life.

I just don't get it! What's the problem?

The problem? The fact that she is a girl is the problem!

What else could be a problem?

The problem is we don't want any problems in life.

But, if we don't have any problems in life...

...then, that is the biggest problem of their lives.

Basically, there is a time in every girl's life...

...when she realizes that now her life...

...is impossible without a driver, a bodyguard...

...a servant or an ATM.

Every girl can't afford all of those things, right?

So, girls look for boyfriends.

They try you out. If they like your work...

...then, the job is permanent and you get married.

The most important thing about marriage is fulfilling needs.

And men are supposed to fulfill a woman's every need.

You barely finish paperwork after losing a job and the girl vanishes.

The office folks don't ask for the ID card as quickly...

...as they ask for a divorce!

Basically, if a girl has to pay once, she vanishes.

Their purses contain the legendary vanishing watch.

Just wear it and vanish.

If you really want to pay, then, pay!

Don't pretend like you want to pay.

Don't pay as per the amount of the bill, pay every single time.

Listen, girls just pretend to give up in front of parents.

It's never going to happen that you're earning 200,000...

...and she gets pressured into marrying someone who makes 50,000.

She fights her parents only so long...

...as they can find a boy to compare with you.

Then, she won't just break up and go away from your life.

She will discuss the why and wherefores for ten days.

Suddenly, she will be worried about whether you've eaten.

If you are so concerned, why leave him?

Basically, what they want is...

...for you to ask whether she ate, so she can say no.

Then, you will request her to eat and she will cry.

It will be established, that the breakup due to their ***...

...has her featuring as the greatest victim, too!

All of them are selfish!

Just take the girl from the Titanic, for example.

Let's say one person could fit on the wooden plank.

Why didn't they do 15 minute rotations?

Alright, you clambered on, first.

Who told to climb and go to sleep?

She slept to her heart's content.

How did you declare that he is dead?

Are you a doctor? Did you check his pulse?

He could have fainted.

He didn't say good morning baby, so he's dead.

She tossed him overboard and went off.

They want to talk before sleeping, after sleeping...

...isn't the day enough? Can't a man rest in peace, before sleeping?

And what is this talk me to sleep bit?

Let's say, I would even do that to get her to sleep...

...but, what happens while sleeping at night...

...that, they want to start talking as soon as they wake up?

Baby, it's been an hour, you didn't call me.

I need an hour, just to wake myself up.

Then, you go to the loo, brush your teeth.

You think about the day ahead.

Every man has a fundamental right to think in the loo!

But, no! They want to talk to you, even over there.

Why do married men always get late to the office?

Because, the ones who get up on time, get late, due to talking.

And the smart guys get up late.

So, it's wake up, get ready and run!

You just don't want to have to talk.

And after putting up with all that...

...their biggest *** is...

...they want to talk after intimacy, too!

Are you insane? Intercourse is what it is, because it's the ultimate.

Why is the climax so called? Because that's the end of the film!

Who on earth eats soup after eating dessert?

You know, sometimes, I think they want you to talk them to orgasm.

Girls only need two things from men.

I love you and sorry.

If you say I love you, they ask you why do you love me?

They want to know after every two months, why do you love me?

Yeah, I love you, but give me five reasons why you love me.

Are you crazy? Whoever thinks so much?

Didn't you ever hear that love is a feeling?

And the biggest *** of all is sorry.

Because, eventually, every man gets tired and has to say sorry.

But, it doesn't end after saying sorry.

The real story starts after saying sorry.

Do you know, why you said sorry?

You don't even know why you said sorry!

I am saying sorry about what we are arguing about.

Try explaining to them, but no way! They won't get it.

Just let their best friend explain the same thing...

...they understand it in a trice!

Suraj Barjatya started this nonsense about best friends.

The best friend scam is perpetuated...

...with lines like, no sorry or thanks in friendship.

Sir, we don't say please to friends, we don't ask...

...and there is no limit to anything!

When it comes to friendship a boy can come to a girl's house...

...and stay as long as he wants.

A girl can sit in her friend's lap, and it's platonic.

A girl can get drunk and kiss her friend, and it's platonic.

A girl can change in front of her friend, that's okay too.

I guess, even intimacy is platonic between friends.

Say one word about their clothes...

...and suddenly, they behave like feminists.

You can't tell me what to wear.

If you can tell me what I can wear...

...how does my telling you, suddenly...

...bring equality, liberty, individuality...

...freedom, sovereignty into the mix?

And the phone is the worst enemy of a man.

See, there is a stage in every relationship...

...when you know, while talking on the phone...

...that, this conversation will blow up into a fight after a point.

But, you can't disconnect.

Because, girls don't think you should have disconnect buttons.

They can disconnect, as it is their right.

Or, they want to watch Masterchef. But, not you!

Because, Airtel is now...

...here to torture you on the phone as well as the TV!

Record the match and watch it later.

Women can be convinced that is a genuine proposition.

Which self respecting man records a match to watch it later?

Earlier, the service providers slashed call rates and destroyed us.

When they were done, the smart phone guys showed up.

Now, tell me why do you need to create an app...

...which tells someone about your location?

I stop to buy a cigarette on the road...

...and I get a call at once. Baby, are you fine?

No, I saw you standing somewhere since 3 and a half minutes.

I figured, I should call and ask you.

Woman, if I call you so many times, while driving...

...I am going to die, anyways!

Even if a man is dying...

...he will probably have to call and tell her.

Baby, I'm dying! The God of death is here for me.

Even then they won't bother that the man is dying.

They will still ask, where are you, how are you dying?

You didn't tell me you had plans to die, today!

Who is dying with you?

Really? So, now you're dying with him too?

That's how Sati got her husband back from the God of Death.

She must have *** his happiness.

She must have bombarded him with questions.

I bet, the Lord of Death handed the husband back with an apology.

For one thing, girls say they love surprises.

Whereas the fact is that women hate surprises.

They just love the opportunity to pretend to be surprised.

They should know you have planned a surprise.

They should know what you have planned.

But, not through you! Through someone else.

Then, their real joy is concealed within the fact that...

...that they may know the surprise...

...but you have to go up to them and yell surprise...

...and give them a chance to say, aww!

Every question they ask is coated with another question.

There are layers.

You may think she is asking you how the chickpeas taste.

If you like them, that's okay.

But, God forbid, you find some flaws...

...then, the recipe will be one passed down by her mom.

And if you don't like chickpeas made by her mom's recipe...

...that means, you hate her entire family.

Why do girls feel that their 'parents are Gods incarnate?

You can only learn something of value from her parents.

And she can mouth off about your parents, it's totally cool.

You can't say a sentence against them.

They will wage the 3rd and 4th world war, at once.

You can call my mom manipulative, that's no biggie.

If I call your mom slightly touchy...

...she gets so touched, you can't touch her for weeks on end!

Despite all of that, we are with girls.

And those who aren't are desperately seeing girls.

Why? Because they bribe us.

Bribe is an institution started by women.

Because, the bribes they can offer, will never end.

And we bribe takers are getting ruined, by the minute...

...won't it better to get married to one's own hand?

I am getting relieved from the office, next week.

The engagement is in the first week of March.

I will get married after three months.

I will leave, at once after the wedding.

I don't want to marry him.

I don't want to.

I don't want to.

I love you, Siddharth.

I love you.

I know, I can't have you for life.

But, till I can...

...I want to.

I want to.

I think, I will have to withdraw the savings from our account.

I can't support the website, without that.

That's going to happen, if you keep spending on Anshul and Chauka.

Kusum, there you go again!

Why discuss it, when you don't know the understanding between us?

If there is such a deep understanding...

...why don't you ask them for the money?

Anyway, it's your money.

It's your career.

Take your half from the account.

My half? I thought that is our money.

So you want to use up all the savings?

Kusum, I am talking about withdrawing the money...

...that I would have saved for my website, anyways.

Oh! Now, I get it.

I thought, we were saving equal portions of our salaries.

We are investing equally.

But I didn't realize, you are keeping track of the contributions.

Kusum, I am not keeping track of anything. I need your support.

I am sorry, Tarun.

I am not able to support you, financially.

Support isn't only financial, Kusum.

You have to support in some way.

At least don't be so negative if you can't be supportive.

What do you want me to say?

It's a great idea?

It is a successful business plan?

You're going to become Mark Zuckerberg with this website!

Sunny has gone.

So?

We need to talk.

Can you come home?

I know, you have had problems about Sunny.

But, you should know, he kept telling me...

...that, you are right.

And I should examine it from your perspective...

...and then any boyfriend can be uncomfortable.

I know. What we do without Sunny?

Stop being sarcastic.

He's gone, now.

I'm leaving, then.

Stay here.

Please?

I know, you left because of me.

I am sorry.

Are you crazy? Chill.

I need you to understand.

Even if Anshu is here, you're still important to me.

I know.

You know, how important you are to me?

I am going to talk to him.

He'll have to understand.

When you were here, I felt there is someone with me.

Since you've gone, I feel so alone!

I know. Met too!

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

He's not totally asleep, he may wake up.

Good night. Sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams.

"Oh, you fool!"

"For how long?"

"Oh, you fool!"

"For how long?"

"Why didn't you accept what you figured out, you fool?"

"You fool!"

"You fool!"

"Oh, you fool!"

"The bird pecked at your harvest and pooped on you, for good measure."

"Your wretched decency has messed up your life."

"You are left standing, high and dry."

"You are left standing, high and dry."

"She used you to climb and then walked all over you.'

"Run away! You are so lucky!"

"Run away! You are so lucky."

"Why are you lying unaware, in the grave you have dug?"

"This romance of yours is a cesspool of lies."

"Accept it! Wake up!"

"Get a move on! Run away!"

"You are truly caught."

"When will you wisen up?"

"You fool...

Hi.

Hi.

Who were you speaking to?

What?

I was calling and it was on hold.

Who were you talking to?

To Tina!

Let me see your phone. - What the ***?

Don't worry, I will understand.

I will have to understand, right?

You checked my phone!

How dare you?

Is that such a cardinal sin?

We aren't even talking about what was in the phone!

Did he hug you while sleeping?

What? Seriously?

What kind of a question is that?

Were you snuggled up in the same comforter?

How will knowing that, help you, Anshu?

I don't know, I just want to know.

*** off! Seriously, *** off.

Don't forget to tell her how much you hate me.

Anshu, just let it go! Forget it.

I would have done it, if I could.

I left my phone behind.

I told you, he's not worth it.

How dare he ask you this?

That is really cheap!

Why do you take so much nonsense, Chiku?

You're better than this, Why do you let him treat you like this?

Siddharth, I have decided.

I want to marry you.

Listen, court marriage is overnight, only in movies.

In reality, there's a whole lot of rigmarole involved.

You have to apply.

You can't go there in the morning and get married on the spot.

Anyways, you better think this over.

Let's see in the morning. You handle Supriya.

Hello? - Yes, Kusum?

Are you with Tarun?

No.

What the *** are you guys teaching him?

Why are you both doing this?

I know, you are tutoring him.

He's blinded.

He can't see how he is ruining his life.

But, can't you see it either?

And you call yourself friends.

You know...

...I have discussed this idea even with my boss.

And what he had to say?

That Tarun is being childish.

He's talking like a child, okay?

He doesn't value anything that I say.

But, if someone so senior said that, obviously something is wrong.

I am telling you.

I will not be a part of this, seriously.

If he wants to ruin his life in this way...

...then, I have no interest in being a part of such a life.

I am not going to ruin my life, for his insanity.

Supriya!

Supriya!

Supriya!

Supriya!

Supriya!

Supriya!

Uncle says, Supriya came here for a party.

We forced her.

We spiked her drink.

Thakur, this is such a load of nonsense.

Tell him to ask her directly.

The girl is agreeing to all her dad is saying.

Sir, she came home at night.

She asked him to marry her, in my presence.

Sir, we were there. It's true.

Listen, buddy, you know that and I know that.

The girl knows, the Inspector knows and her dad knows.

She came of her own free will.

But, I have never seen it in 20 years of duty.

No girl tells the truth here.

Often, they back off.

Do you want to move on, or give a warning and settle it?

You know the truth and so do I.

She is agreeing with you right now.

What if she backs off in the court?

Forget about the court.

Since it has come to this, it is going to become public.

I will speak too. The truth will emerge.

What will Pankaj think? So, let's forget about it.

I can guarantee this...

...you can marry her off, happily. I won't see her again.

And of course, thank you for saving me.

If I had married her, I would have been ***.

Siddharth, I...

You're such a liar!

This is the account closing form.

I have signed it.

What is it? Did Gogo talk to you?

No. Why?

Did you say anything to him?

No.

I am closing this account as well.

Is it about the money?

Yes. It is about the money.

Tarun, forget what I said.

You can withdraw all the money from the account.

I didn't know that...

...the money would become such a huge deal.

That is what I find really surprising.

You just didn't know it.

I would have convinced myself, if you did know.

There was something missing.

The intentions weren't good enough.

But, you didn't know.

And since I know how much you hate taking favors from others...

...just thought, I would let you know.

You owe me 850,000.

Approximately.

Sorry.

I know, you are angry.

But, just let it go, please?

We are good together.

I love you.

Say that again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you, Tina!

I love you, Anshu!

I love you!

I love you! - I love you!

I love you! - I love you!

I love you! - I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I told you, he's not worth it.

How dare he ask you this?

How cheap is that?

Why do you take so much nonsense, Chiku?

You're better than this, why do you let him treat you like this?

He absolutely doesn't trust me.

It's always the same thing.

Like I slept with Sunny, till the end.

See? I told you, Sunny likes you.

He even liked you before dating that girl.

He still likes you.

I never understood...

...what you saw in Anshu.

Yes, but... - But, what?

Tell me, what does Anshu have that Sunny doesn't?

Who understands you better?

Sunny.

Who have you known for a longer time?

Sunny.

Who cares for you more?

Sunny.

Who doesn't care for you, at all?

Who is rude to you?

Who makes you cry? Anshu!

I don't know why I am with him.

I just don't know. I don't know anything.

Do you think, I should break up with him?

It's your call.

But, I feel bad to see you...

I love you.

These three words are so cheap and fake.

Anyone can write them up, at any place.

Anyone can say them to anyone.

You can forget them at any time...

I love you.

Yes, mom? Hello.

How are you? - Listen, I am telling you.

A mother's love... - I'm with Gogo and Thakur.

...Is the greatest love of all. - Alright.

How do these moms do it? - Are you well?

Meerut? - Without asking for anything.

Without wanting anything. - How did that happen?

Unconditional. - Meerut is a nice place.

I am going now. I've had too much to drink.

Hello, Mom? - Meerut?

Nothing, just missing you. - Oh, there.

I love you. - Yes.

I am not drunk. - I am not going anywhere.

Okay. - Just wanted to say it.

I didn't break up! No way. - It's nothing.

All well. - I just wanted to say it.

I don't need money.

And, so tell me more.

No, I am not drinking. - Okay.

I won't eat. Don't worry. - I am just about to drink.

Stop scolding me. - Yes.

What was he saying? - I just love you, mom.

He won't be coming, right? - I miss you.

Nothing.

He said, it would be after two months. - Just like that.

No, I'm coming.

No, there's no hassle. - I will be coming next week.

Yes, baby! Sorry, yeah Gogo.

Don't blame him, Sid. The car was late...

We checked into the hotel, because...

Sorry. I forgot the next line.

What is the dialogue?

Basically, if the girl has to pay...

...the purse vanishes. It goes away.

Where is he going? On whose shoulder is he crying?

If you lean against their shoulder you will be be...

Even after the marriage...

But...

Action.

One moment, something went into my eye.

There's no water. - No one said tring.

Sorry. - Cut.

I mean, she... Oh, no.

A man who can't be there for India Pakistan...

Oh l, no!

Sir, I don't know what is going on.

Ask Supriya.

Cut. Action. - Sorry again.

I won't do it again. - I am saying no.

You can't...

Is it a successful business plan?

It's a great success...

Sir, he laughs!

No, I'm just saying...

Sports dosen't help financially, Kusum.

Kusum... - Cut.

Goge and Chauka... - Goge and Chauka...

Goga and Chaga!