Original subtitles

♪

[frightened whimper]

[crashing]

[grunt]

[hiss]

Well, don't stop there! You read; I pack. That's the deal!

I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I just keep thinking about

how much fun you're going to have

at the Daring Do Convention.

I wish Princess Celestia didn't need my help

with the friendship summit in Griffonstone.

Don't worry. I'll make sure AK Yearling signs your book.

I can't believe she's going to be there.

She never goes to conventions.

[sigh]

Which I guess will be cool for all those other fan-ponies,

but since you and I know AK Yearling personally...

...and we know that she's secretly Daring Do, herself...

It's no big deal.

This convention'll be fun,

but it's nothing to get too excited about.

So! Excited!

♪ My little pony, my little pony ♪

♪ Aaaahhh

♪ I used to wonder what friendship could be ♪

♪ Until you all shared its magic with me ♪

♪ Sharing kindness ♪ it's an easy feat

♪ And magic makes it all complete! ♪

♪ To have my little pony

♪ Do you know you're all my very best friends? ♪

♪

♪

You look like a pony who'd be up for an all-inclusive,

one-of-a-kind, adventu-cation where you get to live

"The Daring Do Experience."

No thanks. Did that already.

Ah!

[whoosh]

This is the awe--

--someest thing ever!

Now this is something that only a true fan can appreciate.

They even put the tiles in the right order!

Good catch. I'm Quibble Pants. Nice to meet you.

Rainbow Dash. Nice costume.

Thanks. The hard part was figuring out the right--

--number of arrow holes.

B-because on page eighty-four of Sapphire Stone,

it describes her dodging a quote "score of arrows shooting forth

but then on page one hundred and seven, Daring Do says she quote

"barely made it past the trap's barrage of arrows" unquote.

But clearly, Daring Do is embellishing

and the correct number of arrows is--

Both: Twenty.

[chuckling]

♪

I am so glad I ran into you.

Even though I knew the convention

would be totally awesome,

it's more fun when you're with someone

who really knows Daring Do.

I know what you mean.

It's so hard to find a pony who really gets it.

That's weird. We've only done stuff from the first trilogy.

After lunch, we should probably start working our way back

Whoa, whoa, whoa. There are no "other books."

Daring Do and the Trek of the Terrifying Tower,

Uh, please, please don't. Just don't even mention the titles.

I'm not saying those books don't exist.

I'm saying that I refuse to acknowledge them.

Why?

I mean, there isn't a single thing after Ring of Destiny

that is even remotely in the realm of the possible.

WHAT! I know for a fact that everything

in every one of those books is one hundred percent possible!

And how could you possibly know that?

I just do.

Well, that's a compelling argument!

Why would you even come to this convention

if you hate Daring Do so much?!

I don't hate Daring Do.

The first series was smart and cool

and an amazing nod to old-time serialized adventure books

that somehow manages to be self-reflexive and ironic

while at the same time celebrating the art form

without a hint of cynicism.

Which is why I came here to ask AK Yearling, muzzle-to-muzzle,

why she sold out and dumbed down the rest of her books

into just a series of impossible action sequences.

OK, now I know you're crazy.

AK Yearling is awesome and every Daring Do book that comes out

is better than the last.

Wow. OK. Yeah. I'm-I'm sorry but I could never be friends

with somepony who's willing to believe impossible stuff

is possible as long as Daring Do does it.

That's OK, because I could never be friends with somepony

who's so focused on things being possible

that he's willing to turn his back

on the coolest hero of all time!

Fine!

Fine!

Look, just tell AK Yearling that Rainbow Dash is here

and I need her help to convince a know-it-all pony

that everything Daring Do's ever done actually happened.

Rainbow Dash?

AK! I've got to talk to you! It's an emergency!

Not here.

Now, tell me what's going on. Is it Caballeron? Did you see him?

But there is a pony downstairs who thinks everything

you've written after the first trilogy is totally unrealistic

and terrible and I need you to help me prove to him

that it's all totally possible.

I've got bigger problems on my hoofs

than dissatisfied fan-ponies.

The Amulet of Culhuacan. And Caballeron wants it.

But the amulet's only a key. [chuckle]

The real treasure is hidden in a lost temple,

The Seven-Sided Chest of Chicomoztoc.

Caballeron wants to sell it to the highest bidder, of course,

which is why I need to find it first.

YES! Sounds like another awesome Daring Do Adventure!

But what are you doing here?

Since I haven't found the temple yet,

it's the safest place for me and the Amulet.

It's crawling with security and if I get into trouble,

I can just blend in with all the Daring Do cos-players.

Just keep your eyes out for anything suspicious.

Got it.

Does a pony who only likes your first trilogy

qualify as suspicious?

Just checking.

[door closes]

[sigh] I find all this fanfare around my archenemy disturbing.

I mean, where is the booth for Caballeron?

I do not see the likeness.

Come. Let us find Daring Do and the Amulet of Culhuacan.

I don't want to spend any more time in this place

than I have to.

Well, if it isn't the pony who knows impossible things

can happen because she just does.

Ugh. Sorry, Quibble, I've got more important things to do

who thinks awesome means unrealistic.

No, wait. I wanna hear more about how you're 100% sure

that in Curse of the Jungle Queen, Daring Do could survive

a sixty-story drop from the top of a waterfall

after sustaining a broken wing in a category six rapid.

Obviously her wing wasn't broke--

Caballeron!

See, now THAT'S a great character!

Solid backstory. Good motivations.

No-no-no! Caballeron is right there!

Of course he is.

He's also over there, over there,

Oh-oh over there, and over there.

Where are you going?

And we're out here because...

came to this convention to steal the Amulet of Culhuacan

and I just saw him and his henchponies come this way.

OK. I'm gonna head back inside.

Just a little too much crazy out here

for the both of us.

[gasp]

I do not know what Daring Do is playing at,

but if she told you two fanponies of my plan

to steal the Amulet, you must work for her.

Caballeron! HA! What do you have to say NOW, Quibble?

This was your plan to prove the Daring Do books are realistic?

You bought a "Daring Do Experience, Adventu-cation"?

What?! NO! Look around us! Henchponies. Caballeron!

The jungle it took forever to get to! This is the real deal!

Right. We're ACTUALLY being held captive by Caballeron.

Please. This guy's accent is all over the place.

No offense.

So, what's the setup, here? You've kidnapped us

and taken us to the middle of nowhere because....?

The Temple of Chicomoztoc is somewhere in this jungle!

When I find it, the Seven-Sided Chest is as good as mine!

I just need the Amulet of Culhuacan to unlock it!

Uh-huh. And Daring Do has the Amulet,

so you came up with this overcomplicated plot

to lure her into the jungle and exchange it for us?

I wouldn't call it overcomplicated, but yes.

OK, we're done here. Great work.

Seriously. Very believable.

[slap and shout]

Listen pal, you can keep her money, but I'm not --

Going anywhere.

You may not approve of my plan, but I'm the mastermind here.

Debatable.

AND I SAY you will remain here until Daring Do

comes to rescue you. And if she wants you back in one piece,

she will give me the Amulet! Tie them up.

The Griffon's Lock!

Further proof that you are an agent of Daring Do.

Or an avid reader.

And now I will continue my search for the Temple.

Don't go anywhere. [evil laugh]

Listen, if I pretend to believe this nonsense is real,

will you call off the henchpony repertory theater over there?

They're not going to listen to me. They abducted us BOTH!

Oh, wow. So you're going to stick with that script?

Oh, OK fine. We're in a Daring Do adventure.

What was that?

DARING DO! THANK GOODNESS! WE'RE OVER HERE!

Fan out! We can't let Daring Do rescue these two.

All four? I mean, shouldn't at least one of them stay behind

to guard us? Oh-oh wait, no because then

it wouldn't be a terrible Daring Do adventure!

We'll never solve the Griffon's Lock before they get back.

OK, that was pretty good.

Quick! We've got to get out of here and warn Daring Do!

No way. Just point me to the hotel

and you can play fanpony

and hunt treasure out here all day long.

Fine. Let's say this IS a Daring Do Adventu-cation.

The only way to get back to the convention is to go through it.

So just follow me and I'll lead you out. Deal?

Ugh. Fine.

Maybe if I just leave you in the jungle, it'll convince you.

Which would make Daring Do left- hoofed, which we KNOW is false!

And THAT is everything that's wrong with Daring Do

Now the problems with the next book are even --

Oh, right. What Daring Do adventure would be complete

without the precarious rope bridge?

I'm all for making things feel as real as possible

but are these adventu-cation ponies sure this thing is safe?

Is it too "realistic" for you?

Wouldn't want THAT on a Daring Do adventure, would we?

If this were really a Daring Do adventure,

I'm sure I'd step on the wrong plank at exactly the wrong mo-

[shout]

♪

Heh. Good thing this is all just a pretend adventure.

At least we know all of this struggling

won't make the bridge fall apart.

[snap]

You need to get your money back.

[snap]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[thud]

Ha! How's THAT for not possible!

THAT. WAS. AWESOME! I-I-I thought we...

And then you... and the flying...

Wow, and I was like WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

And I was-was-was on the water! And the-the rocks?! WOW.

Yeah. If you read that in a book

you might even think it was unrealistic.

OK. I'll give you that one.

I mean we could have been done for.

What kind of Adventu-cation IS this?

I mean that's just bad business! What are these ponies thinking?

We are thinking that we should thank you for escaping.

For you have led us directly to the Lost Temple of Chicomoztoc!

[evil laugh]

Make sure they are secure this time!

We can't have them escaping again.

You'll never get away with this.

Won't I? You've led me to the temple.

And Daring Do is too noble to let harm befall her companions

so the amulet is as good as mine.

What? No witty remarks this time about how silly my plan is?

This isn't the official Daring Do Experience

Adventu-cation, is it?

It's some cheap knock-off run by a bunch of incompetent ponies

that have no idea how to execute this adventure

with any level of safety!

What was that with the bridge! We were in serious danger!

I'm reporting you all to...

Well, I don't know who I'm reporting you to,

but it's gonna be somepony important!

Oh, and this cut-rate excuse for an "experience"

hasn't proved anything except that I'm right.

It has all the hallmarks of a lame Daring Do adventure.

No. I'M talking! Generic jungle locations? Check.

Overly complicated villain plot? Check.

Random coincidences that conveniently

get us to the next big set piece? CHECK!

Watch where you are stepping, you fool!

Listen, buddy, I don't take orders

from some second-rate performer who learned acting

from the supervillain school of bad accents.

The only thing this mess is missing is some giant

Ahuizotl wanna be monster and I have a feeling

that would be a bit too much

for you bargain basement adventurers to pull off.

[roar]

Um. You're real.

This is real?

[snap]

THIS IS REAL!

I told you to warn me of anything suspicious,

not run off on an adventure without me.

Whoa whoa whoa. You're real.

You're-you're... friends with her?

Uh, we'll have to do introductions later.

Right now we have to--

Get out of here. Yes! Thank you!

Actually, no.

We can't leave without the treasure.

And we should probably get to it before our friend

gets any higher.

[splash]

Seven doors, Seven locks. One of them leads to the treasure.

I'd rather not think about what the others lead to.

Yeah, yeah. The classic pony and the tiger bit.

Um... Maybe you should let Daring Do figure it out?

Oh, excuse me.

[fake cough] Not that one.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh.

Is he always like this?

Yeah. But...he's usually right.

[sigh]

FINALLY! Look. Each door has another door that matches.

THESE two both have earth ponies fighting serpents.

THESE two have Pegasi fighting Griffons.

THESE two have unicorns fighting bears. But THIS one...

Has an alicorn on it!

It's the only one without a match. How did I miss that?

I've been asking myself that ever since book four.

The Seven-Sided Chest of Chicomoztoc.

Uh, guys?

The way out is totally covered!

How are we gonna get out of here?

There!

Seriously, do you ever NOT escape

out of the top of a temple?

We'll have to carry mister adventure critic out with us.

We won't be fast enough! We'll never make it!

Guys!

I think Rainbow Dash and I have this covered.

♪

Go around! You can't go over him!

Go over him? Are you crazy?

If Quibble says go over him, go over him!

[scream]

You two are insane!

You SAID go over him!

I SAID go around him!

And I said be quiet!

This way! I heard them!

OK, I've got it. Let's create a fake treasure

out of mud and rocks, give THAT to Caballeron and then when--

Not EVERY Daring Do plan has to be super complicated.

I swear I heard them!

[crash]

[roar]

[scream]

I'll get you Daring Doooooooo!

Uh. Not particularly original or inspired, but it worked.

Who are you again?

Uh-huh. There's some stairs on the other side of the temple

that lead out of the ravine.

I suggest you two take them and head west.

I've got to get this to a museum. Thanks for your help.

I couldn't have done it without you. Both of you.

So?

So. Maybe the later books ARE slightly more realistic

than I gave them credit for. I still don't like them.

Wait! Hold on! Before we get in another fight,

I think I finally figured it out!

I love the Daring Do that solves puzzles and uses her brain

to get out of tough situations.

And she did WAY more of that in the original trilogy.

YOU love the Daring Do that is brave and awesome

and comes out on top no matter what the odds.

OK.

And that's OK!

We might never agree on what makes Daring Do cool.

But YOU are definitely cool.

I mean the way you saved me on the bridge? Wow.

And escaping from the temple! You, Rainbow Dash, are AWESOME.

Well. I'm not the one who can locate a treasure

in half the time Daring Do can.

You may have terrible taste in books,

but you're pretty awesome yourself.

In a brainy egghead puzzle- solving kind of way.

I guess we don't have to agree on everything to get along.

Friends?

DEFINITELY friends.

Do you think AK Yearling would consider

letting ME write the next book?

I mean, think I could

I mean for instance, in the second adventure

because it's sort of this thing that I've

already written a lot of fan fiction on.

but I am saying that this would totally go along,

my whole thing about puzzle solving.

Except what if each puzzle that was solved

unlocked a new karate move?

Think of it that way, right?

I'm kind of a Yearlite myself,

so I'm sure she'd be open to--

Rainbow Dash: Uh, Quibble?

Sorry!