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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,202 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,517 [Mary] I guess I should start at the beginning. 3 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,453 That's when it all started. 4 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:58,292 Funny how these things always start at the beginning. 5 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,394 [♪♪♪] 6 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,135 The big city was the place I called home. 7 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:11,171 And there was nothing like the big city at Christmas. 8 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,139 The lights. 9 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,473 The trees. 10 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,142 The pollution. 11 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,477 And most importantly, my job. 12 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,315 I was a journalist at BuzzClubs, but I was better 13 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,216 than the assignments they were giving me. 14 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:24,651 [indistinct chatter] 15 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,486 And the marketing Christmas meeting is on Christmas! 16 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,655 I could do so much more. 17 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,057 [grunting] 18 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,893 These numbers are off the charts. 19 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,561 All I needed to land the big promotion was 20 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,330 one juicy story. 21 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,366 Mary, we don't have time for your narration 22 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,401 or your orange juice story pitches. 23 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,003 I've still got Big Citrus 24 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,605 jumping down my throat since your last article 25 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,441 caused all that satanic asbestos. 26 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,508 [chuckling] 27 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:51,345 Besides, we're prepping for the annual quarterly 28 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,280 salary insurance retreat business jargon and-- 29 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,016 Please, just give me a chance, boss. 30 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,552 [Mary] I know it's almost Christmas and I know that 31 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,088 we work at this big city magazine 32 00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:03,190 that we work at here in the big city. 33 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:06,026 And I know that the annual Christmas cover story is-- 34 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:06,560 Say no more! 35 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,294 [chuckling] 36 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,029 [Boss] I love it. 37 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,630 I mean scrap the old story, assistant, 38 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,199 we're going with Mary's. 39 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:12,933 When can you leave? 40 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,601 I mean, your ticket is booked for tonight. 41 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,036 Um, where am I going? 42 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,104 I haven't packed. 43 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:17,871 [Marry] I can-- 44 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,975 Oh, Snowy Heights. 45 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:22,542 Snowy Heights. 46 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,112 That my hometown where I grew up. 47 00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:25,879 Perfect. 48 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:26,713 I love the angle. 49 00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,983 See, this is why you're due for the big promotion Mary, 50 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,718 so don't screw it up. 51 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:34,488 And whatever you do, do not fall in love with some small-town, 52 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,723 8-out-of-10 stranger 53 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,592 and find the true meaning of Christmas. 54 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,061 I've lost too many good reporters that way. 55 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,063 Yeah, remember Carl? 56 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:43,897 No. 57 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,134 Go, you're already late. 58 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:47,667 [chuckling] 59 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,635 Okay. 60 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,337 [chuckling] 61 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,471 Mary! 62 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,110 Your reservation is booked at the cute charming inn 63 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:57,911 at the centre of town. 64 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,580 Go on, get out of here already! 65 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:01,581 Okay. 66 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:02,983 Mary! 67 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,287 The story is due on Christmas Eve. 68 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:07,788 Christmas Eve? 69 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,357 That's the day before Christmas. 70 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,092 Hurry. 71 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,371 [Mary] So off I went, getting ready for a big Christmas adventure, 72 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,208 leaving behind the big city and everything I loved about it. 73 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,277 Goodbye, tourists. 74 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,278 Oh! 75 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:31,978 [chuckling] 76 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,149 Goodbye, ethnic diversity. 77 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,618 Goodbye, homeless man who spit on my bagel. 78 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,290 As sad as I was to leave everything behind, 79 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:46,126 I couldn't wait to get back to my cute industrial loft 80 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,294 and start packing. 81 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:50,163 The only thing left to do was figure what to pack. 82 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,004 [chuckling] 83 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,340 Oh, Santa dog. 84 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,308 [sighing] 85 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,644 I can't believe on Christmas it will be 20 years 86 00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:05,679 since I've had you. 87 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:10,183 Ever since I found you on dad's deathbed 88 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,218 and he said, 89 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,588 "Why are you touching my stuffed toy? 90 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,022 I don't know who your dad is. 91 00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,491 Leave me alone while I get my braces off." 92 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,393 [sniffles] 93 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,896 I promised I would never leave you. 94 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:27,067 And I will never break that promise. 95 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:31,404 Can you stop talking to that stuffed Kwanzaa bear? 96 00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,173 It's a Christmas dog, Martin! 97 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,077 You're a Christmas dog. 98 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,278 [Mary] And I was off. 99 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,080 Snowy Heightsville Falls. 100 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:41,581 Population? 101 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,216 Yes, please. 102 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,698 I'm here! 103 00:04:58,698 --> 00:04:59,799 [chuckling] 104 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,973 So you are here. 105 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,909 At long last. 106 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,377 Do I know you? 107 00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:11,144 [laughing] 108 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,280 Here, have a cookie. 109 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,080 And welcome home. 110 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,250 I forgot how warm and friendly everyone is here. 111 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:17,884 Have a beer. 112 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,487 Oh, you know, actually, 113 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,290 I'm looking for the Reindeer Lodge Inn. 114 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,226 Would you happen to know-- 115 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,064 [grunting] 116 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,239 Great, my hot cocoa! 117 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,908 Oh no, my reservations at the inn! 118 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,443 -It's completely undrinkable. -It's completely undrinkable. 119 00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,911 [sighs] 120 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,680 Watch where you're going, lady. 121 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,747 Me? 122 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,416 Watch where I'm going? 123 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:50,450 Lady? 124 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,085 [scoffs] You don't know me. 125 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,587 I know you're a piece of work. 126 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,755 Joke's on you, mister, because I love work. 127 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,357 Oh, I bet you do. 128 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,593 I bet you're some career woman from the big city! 129 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:02,329 And I bet you're some small-town grunch 130 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,598 who's too caught up in things to see what's literally 131 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,932 right in front of him. 132 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,642 Well, this encounter has been a complete disaster. 133 00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,446 And I look forward to never seeing you ever again. 134 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:22,215 Not seeing each other ever again would be too soon 135 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,651 to not see each other ever again! 136 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,554 Oh yeah, you and your big city double negatives, alright, 137 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,490 don't-- they don't-- they-- they do not-- they-- 138 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,958 excuse me? 139 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,828 No, excuse me, and my education. 140 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:37,697 [gasps] 141 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:38,498 [sighs] 142 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,843 [exhales] 143 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,144 Great, now I want hot cocoa. 144 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,514 [♪♪♪] 145 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,490 Welcome to Cup of Cheer. 146 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,758 Thank you. 147 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,826 Um, yeah, I'll have one hot cocoa please, Keith. 148 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:08,828 [Keith] Coming right up. 149 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:13,433 Don't mind me asking, what are you wearing? 150 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,734 Oh, darn. 151 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:15,502 [chuckles] 152 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:18,204 I just got back from my shift as Flash, the Mall Elf. 153 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,206 [Keith] I guess I just forgot to change. 154 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,676 I've just been so busy holding down two jobs, 155 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,679 tryin' to support me and my bro, which explains a lot about me 156 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,913 and who I am as a person. 157 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,248 It's okay, I forgive you. 158 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,520 One hot cocoa please, Keith, 159 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,356 with a pump of yuletide cheer for 160 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:40,694 customer. 161 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:41,928 [chuckles] 162 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,630 Thank you very much. 163 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,631 Oh shoot. 164 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,266 Sir, you didn't pay! 165 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,037 -Ugh, you again. -Ugh, me again. 166 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,605 Why are you at my store, lady? 167 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,307 I wanted hot cocoa. 168 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,976 And since I'm in this small town until Christmas 169 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,578 and you're the only hot cocoa place around, 170 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,548 I guess we're just gonna have to put up with each other. 171 00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,615 Yeah, you know, actually there's another place like-- 172 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,884 And quit calling me "lady", dude. 173 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:06,286 My name isn't "lady". 174 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,053 It's Mary. 175 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,389 Mary Lady. 176 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:12,225 Okay, Mary, uh, well, 177 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,427 then quit callin' me "dude", because 178 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,230 my name's Chris. 179 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:17,931 Chris Mas. 180 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:19,733 Chris Mas? 181 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:20,600 [chuckling] 182 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,303 Like Christmas? 183 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:24,571 [chuckling] 184 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,940 I've never thought of it like that before. 185 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,841 [chuckling] 186 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:31,277 Uh, well, here's your drink, Mary. 187 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,614 I didn't order anything, Chris. 188 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,582 [laughing] 189 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,082 Okay. 190 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,083 Oh. 191 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,852 Order for Mrs. Clovenwitch! 192 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:39,919 Thank you, dearie. 193 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:40,754 How much do I owe you? 194 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,088 You know your money's no good here, 195 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,590 Mrs. Clovenwitch, okay? 196 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,959 After everything you've done for us uh, 197 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,427 it's the least I could do. 198 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,630 Keep the change, you filthy animal. 199 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,698 Cunt. 200 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,299 [chuckling] 201 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,602 Chris, I've watched your Grandma Coco build this 202 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:58,037 charming hot cocoa place from the ground up 203 00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,939 many decades ago, 204 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,776 and it's been the pride and joy of Snowy Heightsville Fallstown 205 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,877 ever since. 206 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:04,944 [chuckling] 207 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,046 And after everything you and your baby brother 208 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,114 have been through this year-- 209 00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:08,882 [sighing] 210 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,017 The least I can do is support your business 211 00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:14,020 while delivering unsolicited recaps of your life. 212 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,790 There was that time last month when I caught him 213 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,725 with his pecker in a grilled cheese. 214 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,793 [chuckling] 215 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,961 And the economy being the way it is, 216 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,630 I still had to serve it to my customers. 217 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:24,964 -Mrs. Clovenwitch-- -[Mary] Oh. 218 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:25,999 You're so embarrassing. 219 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,267 [chuckling] 220 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,470 Okay, so I better get back to the diner that I run in town. 221 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,271 Oh. 222 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,672 Grilled cheese won't fuck itself. 223 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:36,009 [laughing] 224 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,702 Oh, oh, oh-- 225 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,237 [chuckles] 226 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,505 Oh, Mrs. Clovenwitch. 227 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,340 You only put a five in the jar. 228 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,108 Oh, oh my God. 229 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,845 Oh, don't worry, I got you, Mr. Cloverhoof. 230 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,779 [chuckling] 231 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,714 Oh, my pajamas! 232 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:18,685 How sweet of you, you young Aryan princess, you. 233 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,591 Oh, looky here! 234 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,527 [Mrs. Clovenwitch] Chris with a girl. 235 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,863 It's a Christmas miracle! 236 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,463 [chuckling] 237 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,564 [exclaims] 238 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,699 Silly me. 239 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,567 And I've interrupted your date. 240 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:35,535 -Oh. -[Mary] Oh. 241 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,769 No, it's not a date. 242 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,372 I just got here from the big city-- 243 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,974 Oh, I see. 244 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,742 -It's a sex thing. -[Chris] Mm. 245 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,744 Calm down, everybody, it's just a sex thing. 246 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,779 Uh, no, no, uh, no. 247 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:47,780 [chuckling] 248 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:48,448 No. 249 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,216 We just met. We're not-- 250 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,620 Oh, you're a lesbian! 251 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,256 Most folks from the big city are. 252 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,658 -Nothing wrong with that. -Oh, no, no, no-- 253 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,326 -Even I've licked a few-- -Oh, Mrs. Clovenwitch. 254 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,394 [chuckling] 255 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,596 Uh, no, Mary here was just um, 256 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,399 about to give me her order. 257 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,568 I just wanted to try one of those world-famous 258 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,404 hot cocoas that I've never heard so much about. 259 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,438 Good choice. 260 00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,574 They don't make 'em like this anywhere else. 261 00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,758 So uh, what's the secret ingredient? 262 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:32,492 [Chris chuckles] 263 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,526 Is it love? 264 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,260 Christmas cheer? 265 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,763 -North pole-- -Cinnamon. 266 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,531 But I bet you make it with love. 267 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,333 No, with cinnamon. 268 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,101 Oh, right. 269 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,308 Uh, drink up. 270 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,178 Thank you. 271 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,551 Could someone please help me? 272 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,787 Uh, I seem to be lost in another era 273 00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:01,454 and I have no idea-- 274 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,624 Oh 'ello there, guvna. 275 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,626 Pip pip cheerio! 276 00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,395 Are we doing jolly old accents from across the pond now? 277 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,131 Can I have a spot of tea, darling? 278 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,839 [clears throat] 279 00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:22,809 My fellows, I was on my way to the Royal Christmas Ball 280 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,978 and I seem to have lost my way. 281 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,713 Uh, could anyone point me in the direction of 282 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,048 Old Complingdonshire upon the Thames or 283 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,883 perhaps to the nearest carrier pigeon 284 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:33,152 where I mayhaps pay tuppence to message 285 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,087 the lady of the manor? 286 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,022 I see why it was weird now. 287 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:39,058 Oh, what a day, huh? 288 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,928 Wholesome white newcomers from all over 289 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,997 and it's only noon. 290 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,499 What's your name, dearie? 291 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,736 Lord Helmington, Royal Duke of Weddlesworth 292 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,739 upon the Shire County of Middlesborough. 293 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:55,541 But you may call me "Sir Authuh". 294 00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,611 Uh, it's nice to meet you, Arthur. 295 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,681 No, no, it's Authuh. 296 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,715 Arthur? 297 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:05,351 No, sweetheart, Authuh. 298 00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:06,519 Ah-- 299 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,855 [grunts] 300 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,456 [clears throat] 301 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,191 I'm Chris. 302 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,028 It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir Chris. 303 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,630 [kissing] 304 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,700 And this must be your humble lady wench, your wife. 305 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,236 -[Chris] Oh. -Oh, no. 306 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:27,306 How about I take care of Authuh 307 00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,542 and you guys carry on with your date. 308 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,044 [Chris] Oh-oh. 309 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,246 -It's not a -It's not a 310 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,214 -Date. -Da-- 311 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,486 You know, you're not the first-time travelling British royal 312 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,788 to show up here at Christmas. 313 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:44,390 It's very common in this town. 314 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,727 [gasping] 315 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,396 That is just great. 316 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,745 [sighing] 317 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,748 Now what? 318 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,117 How am I supposed to write my article 319 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,453 or find my reservations for the inn? 320 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,290 [sighing] 321 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:21,594 [munching] 322 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,970 Tough day? 323 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,106 Thank God for these great cookies, though. 324 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,775 Oh, well, Mary, those are ornamental pinecones. 325 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,811 Please, Chris, I don't need any more bad news today. 326 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,646 -Listen, I just wanted to-- -No, you listen. 327 00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,850 [munching] 328 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,221 Thank you. 329 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,022 [takes a deep breath] 330 00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,224 Hmm. 331 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,459 No one ever just listens anymore, you know? 332 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,963 Yeah, 'cause everybody's like, I don't know. 333 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,166 They go rush, rush, rush. 334 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:00,967 [chuckling] 335 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:01,968 Yeah, I know. 336 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,804 "Jeez, dude, why are you rush, rush rush?" 337 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:07,039 [chuckling] 338 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,040 All that-- 339 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,642 Uh, Chris, I'm in a rush! 340 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,044 [Keith] Rushing around because I gotta get back to my job 341 00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,146 as Flash, the Mall Elf. 342 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,581 Like should hurry, so come on, let's hurry, yeah? 343 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,683 Oh, Mary, this is my baby bro, Keith. 344 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,719 [chuckling] 345 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:20,553 Nice to meet you. 346 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,555 I'm Chris' baby bro Keith. 347 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,489 Mary. 348 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,659 Mary Lady. 349 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,594 Mary Nice Lady. 350 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,829 [chuckling] 351 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,497 Well, you seem like a Mary Nice Lady. 352 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,599 Oh, wait, are you guys just-- 353 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,001 -No! -No! 354 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,837 Sitting around, havin' hot cocoa as one of you eats pinecones? 355 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,571 -Oh. -Oh. 356 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:39,539 -Yeah. -Yeah. 357 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,506 That's so nice. 358 00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:41,574 But I'm in a rush to get to work. 359 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,579 Speakin' of work. 360 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,714 [chuckling] 361 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,284 Uh, I should let you get back to it. 362 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:51,918 What? 363 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,352 No, that's what I was speaking of. 364 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,254 My laptop is destroyed. 365 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,723 My reservations at the inn are kaput. 366 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:58,858 Kaput? 367 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:01,027 Oh, what's that, Russian? 368 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:01,894 Rush, rush, rush. 369 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,130 [chuckling] 370 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,533 Listen, uh, maybe if you gave the inn your name, 371 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,734 they'd be able to find-- 372 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,903 It's too late, Chris. 373 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:14,140 The damage has been done. 374 00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:15,908 Wow. 375 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,579 The first sign of trouble, you just give up. 376 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,981 [Chris] Typical big city behaviour. 377 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,716 Listen. 378 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,550 [grunting] 379 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,786 [Chris] If this town is causing you so much trouble 380 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,921 and you got no place to stay, 381 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,923 then maybe you should just go back to the big city 382 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,959 where you came from. 383 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:36,062 What, Mary has nowhere to stay? 384 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,132 Mary, we have plenty of room 385 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,102 in our house ever since. 386 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,104 I wouldn't wanna impose. 387 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:45,805 I couldn't. 388 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:47,740 Um, not with Chris-- 389 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,309 Stop inviting strangers over to stay, Keith. 390 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:51,978 Oh. [clears throat] 391 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,981 [Authuh] When are we departing on our merry way to your cottage, 392 00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:57,083 Sir Flash, the Mall Elf? 393 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,623 [scrunching] 394 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,590 [Chris] And yeah, this is the ki-- 395 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,425 Whoa, holy smokes! 396 00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,427 Hey, don't get too comfortable, Authfhen. 397 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,196 Uh, but I am comfortable. 398 00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,366 You seem the food in this future era is incredible. 399 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:17,970 [chuckling] 400 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,272 Oh! 401 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,306 [chuckling] 402 00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,941 I think he needs some help. 403 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,809 Should we call the police? 404 00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,378 Yeah, I think that's what they recommend to do 405 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,646 in these situations. 406 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:27,947 -Okay. -Hello? 407 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:28,848 They're on their way. 408 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,449 Well, what's all this fuss about? 409 00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:31,817 It's me and the missus. 410 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,686 We're prepping for the town's local Christmas Eve 411 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,122 bake sale fundraiser carolling competition 412 00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,657 time capsule opening tradition 413 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,892 snow globe building competition 414 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,561 wish making tradition. 415 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,967 Well, thank gosh you're here, Sheriff. 416 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,235 Oh, just happy to be here, Chris. 417 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,703 Oh, who is your lovely date? 418 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,471 Not a date. 419 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:53,973 This is Mary. 420 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,308 Oh, hello there, Mary. 421 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,043 I'm the town's racially-diverse cop. 422 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,712 I mean, I'm a cop. 423 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:00,646 A regular cop. 424 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,882 I'm uh, Rudolph. 425 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:03,849 Oh. [chuckling] 426 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:04,417 Rudolph Hitler. 427 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,152 Oh, oh God. 428 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:06,819 Okay. 429 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,657 Uh, so this crazy British guy says that 430 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,759 he's from past or something. 431 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,162 Uh, so it's a D-25 then? 432 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,563 Hmm, okay. 433 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:19,732 Uh, uh, where are you from, son? 434 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,667 Oh, well, that depends where we are. 435 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,036 -Does it? -I don't know. 436 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,338 Well, you see-- 437 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:28,107 I was enjoying a Rupert's Beef Jelly 438 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,509 when this old hag came and whisked me away to this town 439 00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,912 that you call um, "Snowy--" 440 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:33,579 Snowy Heightsville Commoningdon-- 441 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,580 Heightsville Forestville the-- 442 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:35,848 -Yeah, yeah. -Deers. 443 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:36,449 Commons. 444 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,683 Wow. 445 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,252 All this excitement and confusion. 446 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:41,954 Whenever I was excited or confused, 447 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,190 my dead mom would always say, "The best thing to do 448 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,191 was hit the sack." 449 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,526 I've hit the sack thrice since I arrived. 450 00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,363 Now, the second time a little bit of blood came out. 451 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,699 Well, Chris, uh, as much as I'd like to take this 452 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,369 Persian warlord off your hands uh, 453 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,871 I do have some bad news for you. 454 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,906 Your landlord has been in touch. 455 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:07,213 It's mentioned that you haven't paid your rent this month. 456 00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,382 But the rent's not due yet, Sheriff Rudolph. 457 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,484 Well, he's changed the deadline. 458 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,786 And if you don't pay up by Christmas Eve, 459 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,623 you're going to die. 460 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,291 [gasps] 461 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:20,259 Yep. 462 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:22,395 Then I'll have to evict you. 463 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,096 Oh my God, that's horrible. 464 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:24,897 [sighs] 465 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,298 And on Christmas Eve of all days? 466 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,734 Rudolph! 467 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,969 This isn't fair and you know it. 468 00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,637 There's no way that Cup of Cheer can afford to pay 469 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,139 our rent by Christmas Eve. 470 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,174 I'll tell you what's not fair. 471 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,242 This-- 472 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,811 [Sheriff Rudolph] Authuh guy is gonna have to stay with you for a while. 473 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,313 There was a new law that just passed. 474 00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:42,314 Oh, right now, see? 475 00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:43,249 Oh, that makes sense. 476 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,017 Huh, that settles that then. 477 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,486 [grunting] 478 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:49,121 I'm off to the snow to make merry. 479 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,322 [chuckling] 480 00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:51,957 You, out of the way. 481 00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:55,628 Well, at least somebody's merry. 482 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,696 Oh, wait, wait, I thought she was Mary. 483 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,633 I'm not feeling very merry right now, Officer Hitler. 484 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:03,636 [man on walkie] Sheriff Rudolph, we have a code Kevin McCallister on our hands. 485 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,105 Permission to use lethal force on the unsupervised child? 486 00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,506 We have reason to believe he is armed with 487 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:08,607 a swinging paint bucket. 488 00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:09,809 [scoffs] 489 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:10,776 Honestly, these-- 490 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:14,180 Innocent Christmas hijinks these kids get in to. 491 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:14,880 [chuckles] 492 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,215 Unbelievable. 493 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,017 Alright, permission granted. 494 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:18,784 Uh, yeah. 495 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,453 Shoot to kill, shoot to kill. 496 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,291 [grunting] 497 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,364 -Hey. -Huh. 498 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:34,900 I uh-- 499 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,502 I couldn't help but see you out here 500 00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,871 when I was looking out here for you. 501 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,475 Uh, without my laptop and my work 502 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,909 I'm feeling a little helpless. 503 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,912 I come shovel snow whenever I'm feeling helpless. 504 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,816 At least, I'm accomplishing something useful. 505 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:53,219 [exhales] 506 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,720 Let's cheer you up. 507 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,554 Oh. 508 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,492 Yeah, Authuh already offered to hit my sack, so. 509 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,494 I meant dinner. 510 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,228 Silly. 511 00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:06,432 Whenever I was feeling down, my dead mom would always 512 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,702 get me a squashed hot cattle beef in a risen-yeast casing. 513 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,172 A hamburger? 514 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,708 [speaking gibberish] 515 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,876 [chuckling] 516 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:19,712 Alright, alright, but just this once, okay? 517 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,514 Yeah. 518 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:23,682 Actually, I happen to know just the place. 519 00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:31,524 Two squashed hot cattle beef 520 00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,692 in risen-yeast casings. 521 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,030 [Chris] Oh. 522 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,432 So, still not on that date, huh? 523 00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,134 I'm only here, because Mary seems to think that 524 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,537 a hamburger is the cure to all my problems. 525 00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:49,041 [mumbles] I feel better already. 526 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:52,878 And uh, what problems do you have to cure? 527 00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,481 We're gonna lose the Cup of Cheer. 528 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,617 Our landlord, Ebenezer Chan, 529 00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,252 is gonna take it away from us. 530 00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:01,320 Say it ain't so. 531 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,255 It is so, so. 532 00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,391 If he wants to save it, he has to pay the rent 533 00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:06,325 by Christmas Eve. 534 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,327 The day before Christmas? 535 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:08,827 Exactly. 536 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,062 You can't make this stuff up. 537 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,164 Only in Snowy Heightsville Fallsto-- 538 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,633 Mrs. Clovenwitch, I don't know how you do it. 539 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,936 How you stayed in business all these years. 540 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,905 Chris, you know it's none of your 541 00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,941 goddamned business. 542 00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:25,244 Yeah, Grandma Coco and I grew up together. 543 00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:27,580 The day she opened up Cup of Cheer was the day 544 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:30,583 I opened Mrs. Clovenwitch's Mad Cow Diner. 545 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,519 I know, Mrs. Clovenwitch. 546 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:36,121 And I know how much you two loved each other, 547 00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:38,857 and I know how distraught you were when she died, 548 00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:41,594 and I know-- 549 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,430 Whatever she told you, it didn't happen like that. 550 00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:45,531 She sucked my-- 551 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,166 Mrs. Clovenwitch, I can't talk about her. 552 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,834 Not now. 553 00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,536 Not at Christmas. 554 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,670 Not when she-- 555 00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:53,706 Finger-blasted the literal shit out of my-- 556 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:54,707 It's over. 557 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:55,674 It's done. 558 00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:58,544 Cup of Cheer won't be able to sfford to pay rent 559 00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,547 and that will be the end of Grandma Coco's legacy. 560 00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,882 And my life for some reason. 561 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,184 Wait, Chris. 562 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:06,452 I think I can help. 563 00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,621 You see, dear. 564 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,823 If Grandma Coco taught me anything, 565 00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:13,559 it's that love is always 566 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,893 right under your nose. 567 00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:16,061 [coughing] 568 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:18,464 [licking] 569 00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:23,202 Oh, okay, so if you need any help, 570 00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:25,638 you know that old Mrs. Clovenwitch 571 00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,806 is always here for you. 572 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,809 I know, old Mrs. Clovenwitch. 573 00:23:33,379 --> 00:23:34,647 [sighing] 574 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,816 I really don't see how you could help, Mary. 575 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:39,351 Well, you know, how I'm writing that article about 576 00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:40,853 the town's world-famous Christmas cheer? 577 00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:42,488 No, this is the first I'm hearing about it. 578 00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:44,156 I'm writing an article about the town's world-famous 579 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:45,257 Christmas cheer. 580 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,492 This is the second I'm hearing about it. 581 00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:47,893 No, I just told you a few seconds ago. 582 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,295 Told me about what? 583 00:23:49,295 --> 00:23:50,729 I'm writing an article about the town's world-famous 584 00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:51,597 Christmas cheer. 585 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:52,898 Hey, why didn't you say so, Mary? 586 00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:55,668 What better to focus on for the story than the town's 587 00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:57,002 very own hot cocoa shop? 588 00:23:57,536 --> 00:23:58,737 Cup of Cheer. 589 00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:00,406 It's cheerful as heck! 590 00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:03,342 Mary, language, please. 591 00:24:03,342 --> 00:24:05,678 This is a family establishment. 592 00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:08,180 If anyone wants a quick screw, I'll be in the bathroom 593 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,214 for the next three minutes. 594 00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:14,186 Who would wanna read about little old Cup of Cheer? 595 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:15,354 Face it. 596 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:17,056 It's over. 597 00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:20,025 We're kaputched. 598 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:23,028 You remembered. 599 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:24,063 Almost. 600 00:24:26,198 --> 00:24:29,368 Yo, who runs this litter box? 601 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,072 [Mai Ex] Come on. 602 00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:35,374 Oh, what's a douche bro gotta do to score a hot piece 603 00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:36,942 of cherry muffin? 604 00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:38,911 And that's not a euphemism. 605 00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,146 It better be loaded with bran, too, 606 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,881 because who has two thumbs and a moderate 607 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:45,451 to severe gastrointestinal problem? 608 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:47,052 Oh, this guy. 609 00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:48,320 This guy, baby. 610 00:24:48,554 --> 00:24:51,457 [grunting] 611 00:24:51,457 --> 00:24:54,793 And who knows where I can snag a pair of undies? 612 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,496 And they don't have to be men's. 613 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,064 Unisex! 614 00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:00,666 [chuckling] 615 00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:02,634 [Chris] Uh, man, can you believe this guy? 616 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:05,604 He's probably some big city millionaire who thinks that 617 00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:08,407 our small town is just another Christmas sideshow. 618 00:25:09,575 --> 00:25:11,677 Wait, why do you look like that? 619 00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:13,112 Look like what? 620 00:25:13,112 --> 00:25:14,279 Me, look like something? 621 00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:14,980 [chuckling] 622 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:15,781 Don't be silly. 623 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,821 Welcome. 624 00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:24,456 How can I help you? 625 00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:27,126 Well, you didn't hear any of my muffin bowels speech? 626 00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:29,461 We get a lot of muffin bowels speeches here. 627 00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:32,364 You're gonna have to be more specific, sweetheart. 628 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:35,968 I want a cherry 629 00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:39,104 bran muffin. 630 00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:42,374 I only have cinnamon ginger 631 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,375 flaxfart. 632 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,643 What, are you trying to kill me? 633 00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:47,780 You ain't nothin' but a budget, Mrs. Claus! 634 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,849 I should go over there and give that guy a piece of my ass. 635 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:54,453 Seriously, what is going on with you? 636 00:25:54,453 --> 00:25:56,288 [Mary] Nothing. 637 00:25:56,288 --> 00:25:57,790 We're all our normal selves and hiding from no one. 638 00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,291 Do you know that guy? 639 00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:00,726 What guy? 640 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,694 [Mary] I didn't see no guy, okay? 641 00:26:02,694 --> 00:26:04,563 Hmm, yeah? 642 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:06,865 You know what? 643 00:26:06,865 --> 00:26:08,300 Let's talk about this article, hmm? 644 00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:10,169 How I can help you out. 645 00:26:10,169 --> 00:26:12,971 I'll do it for free, hmm? 646 00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:15,674 It's gonna be tough without my laptop, really see uh, 647 00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:18,477 no other way of writing it. 648 00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:19,578 It's fine. 649 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,513 [grunting] 650 00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:23,982 Which of you hillbillies 651 00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:26,819 can spill the beans on this inbred town? 652 00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:30,055 [grunting] 653 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:31,590 I-- 654 00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:35,761 I'm lookin' for intel. 655 00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:38,363 Because I am about open up the nation's 656 00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:41,433 100 millionth Cocoflaps franchise 657 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,269 right here in Snowmanville. 658 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:45,771 He's an entrepreneur! 659 00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,506 Cocoflaps? 660 00:26:48,207 --> 00:26:50,676 Don't you mean that big chain corporate poison 661 00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:52,177 that destroys the mom-and-pop, 662 00:26:52,377 --> 00:26:54,012 and brother-and-brotherbusinesses, 663 00:26:54,246 --> 00:26:57,382 and churns out that lukewarm swill for $5 a cup 664 00:26:57,382 --> 00:26:59,618 and calls it "hot cocoa"? 665 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,187 Well, you know what I call it? 666 00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:05,357 I call it "hot chocolate". 667 00:27:05,357 --> 00:27:07,226 [gasping] 668 00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:09,194 So you've heard of Cocoflaps. 669 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:11,697 [Mai Ex] You know, I'm surprised a little country bumpkin like yourself 670 00:27:11,697 --> 00:27:14,366 knows so much about the ins and outs of the hot cocoa industry. 671 00:27:14,366 --> 00:27:17,269 [scoffing] 672 00:27:17,870 --> 00:27:20,072 Can't wait to see you at the Cocoflaps' grand opening. 673 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,039 [scoffs] 674 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:22,207 I would'nt be caught dead there. 675 00:27:22,407 --> 00:27:24,977 And if the opening is after Christmas Eve, 676 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,979 then I wouldn't be caught dead anywhere, 677 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:29,915 except the graveyard, because I will be dead. So- 678 00:27:29,915 --> 00:27:30,816 Joke's on you. 679 00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:32,284 We open Christmas Day. 680 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:36,154 [♪♪♪] 681 00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:40,726 25 Main Street. 682 00:27:40,726 --> 00:27:42,094 10:00 a.m. 683 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:44,830 Be there or be at another place somewhere else. 684 00:27:45,731 --> 00:27:47,332 [spits] 685 00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:05,484 [sighing] 686 00:28:07,085 --> 00:28:08,654 Forget it, Chris. 687 00:28:08,654 --> 00:28:10,989 Guys like that, they are not worth your time. 688 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,692 You are better than him. 689 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,193 You are a decent man who would nev-- 690 00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:18,030 Well, shut your fuck trap, Mary. 691 00:28:18,797 --> 00:28:21,700 25 Main Street on Christmas Day? 692 00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:24,503 Oh my God, you're right. 693 00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:26,104 That's Cup of Cheer's address based on the one time 694 00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,106 I was there earlier today. 695 00:28:28,106 --> 00:28:30,943 And Christmas Day is the day after Christmas Eve. 696 00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:32,544 Christmas Eve? 697 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,313 That's the day before Christmas. 698 00:28:34,513 --> 00:28:36,014 [sighing] 699 00:28:36,014 --> 00:28:38,317 Chris, it's not too late to pay the rent 700 00:28:38,317 --> 00:28:41,186 and prove that guy wrong, whoever he is, 701 00:28:41,186 --> 00:28:44,156 obviously someone neither of us have any history with. 702 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:46,892 If I write the article about Cup of Cheer, 703 00:28:46,892 --> 00:28:49,628 we can get customers from all over and raise enough money 704 00:28:49,628 --> 00:28:51,563 to save Grandma Coco's legacy. 705 00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:55,033 You're living in a winter wonderland, Mary. 706 00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:57,302 He's not worth it, Chris. 707 00:28:57,302 --> 00:28:58,637 [grunting] 708 00:28:58,637 --> 00:29:01,039 This has nothing to do with him, Mary. 709 00:29:01,039 --> 00:29:03,141 Guys like him, they'll always have their Cocoflaps 710 00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:05,310 and their gastrointestinal problems 711 00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:07,212 and I'll just be small-town, 712 00:29:07,479 --> 00:29:10,148 healthy-shits Chris. 713 00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,317 Like they used to call me on the playground. 714 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,753 It was a dark and stormy afternoon. 715 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:16,989 Monsieur Teacher said we would have an indoor recess, 716 00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:18,090 but I knew that-- 717 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,892 You just need some Christmas cheer. 718 00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:22,894 Christmas cheer? 719 00:29:22,894 --> 00:29:25,931 This is about Cocoflaps versus Cup of Cheer. 720 00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:29,101 And cheer isn't gonna win this fight. 721 00:29:37,342 --> 00:29:38,377 Darn. 722 00:29:40,846 --> 00:29:42,781 Oh crap, he's my ride. 723 00:29:44,850 --> 00:29:47,419 Oh, Santa Dog, 724 00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:49,221 how do we save Christmas? 725 00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:52,257 [♪♪♪] 726 00:29:56,194 --> 00:29:57,362 Knock, knock. 727 00:29:58,030 --> 00:29:58,864 Who's there? 728 00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:00,866 [chuckling] 729 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,872 How are you holdin' up in here? 730 00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:09,307 Honestly, I'm worried about Chris. 731 00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:11,276 All of these Cup of Cheer problems seem to be 732 00:30:11,276 --> 00:30:12,477 weighing him down. 733 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,379 He's always being weighed down. 734 00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:17,215 You know, the doctors say he's more susceptible to gravity 735 00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,650 than the average man. 736 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,718 I wish I could help. 737 00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:21,720 Oh, NASA tried. 738 00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:24,489 Whenever I have a problem, I look at my Santa Dog 739 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:27,159 and I ask, "What would my dead parents do?" 740 00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:28,627 Hmm, die, I guess. 741 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,729 I just don't know, Keith. 742 00:30:31,263 --> 00:30:33,899 Well, you should get some rest. 743 00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:36,835 Is there a place to put my case? 744 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:40,572 The closet. 745 00:30:41,139 --> 00:30:42,908 [gasping] 746 00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:46,912 What's that? 747 00:30:47,245 --> 00:30:48,980 Son of a-- 748 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:50,515 Say it ain't so! 749 00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:51,650 Would you believe it? 750 00:30:53,085 --> 00:30:54,920 There's something in it. 751 00:30:55,754 --> 00:30:58,423 Looks like some sort of recipe. 752 00:30:58,423 --> 00:31:01,426 Grandma Coco's critically-tolerated gingerbread cookies 753 00:31:01,426 --> 00:31:03,495 in her lost world-famous typewriter we've not been 754 00:31:03,495 --> 00:31:06,298 able to find even though she said in her will 755 00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:07,799 exactly where it would be? 756 00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:09,000 You know what this means, right? 757 00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:14,272 I can finally write my article to save Cup of Cheer. 758 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:16,708 And these cookies-- 759 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,777 Will cheer Chris up for sure! 760 00:31:18,977 --> 00:31:20,812 Sorry, what? 761 00:31:20,812 --> 00:31:23,148 -These cookies. -Huh? 762 00:31:23,148 --> 00:31:24,950 Yeah, sure, sure, sure. 763 00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:27,819 [Mary] I was only in Snowy Heightsville Fallstown Commoningdon 764 00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:28,954 for a day, 765 00:31:28,954 --> 00:31:30,288 but due to the needs of the story 766 00:31:30,288 --> 00:31:32,290 and the character's relationship arcs, 767 00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:35,327 it seemed like much longer. 768 00:31:35,327 --> 00:31:37,562 Christmas was right around the corner now and it was up to me 769 00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:38,997 to save Cup of Cheer. 770 00:31:39,197 --> 00:31:40,899 But I didn't mind, 771 00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,502 because I could already feel myself falling in-- 772 00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:44,703 [yelling] 773 00:31:44,703 --> 00:31:45,170 Oh! 774 00:31:45,170 --> 00:31:45,971 [laughing] 775 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,539 Oh, yes! 776 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,542 Authuh, how long have you been hiding there? 777 00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:52,511 Oh, all night, Madam Wench, 778 00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:55,514 and boy was it worth the frostbite on my willy's end 779 00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:57,849 to see the look on your gob. 780 00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:00,752 What in the willy's end is going on out here? 781 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,921 I believe I did it, Sir Keith. 782 00:32:03,188 --> 00:32:04,256 Did what? 783 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:05,824 Well, last night when we were in your chamber 784 00:32:05,824 --> 00:32:06,825 discussing my quest, we-- 785 00:32:06,825 --> 00:32:07,859 When was this? 786 00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:09,494 You were asleep. 787 00:32:09,494 --> 00:32:10,495 Sure. 788 00:32:10,495 --> 00:32:11,429 My quest. 789 00:32:11,429 --> 00:32:12,664 The reason I was sent here from the past. 790 00:32:12,898 --> 00:32:14,666 It is my quest thatwill send me back to my own era. 791 00:32:16,168 --> 00:32:17,836 Last night, while you were asleep 792 00:32:17,836 --> 00:32:18,870 with your hog in your hand, 793 00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:21,573 we mutually came to the conclusion that 794 00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:24,176 I must help out at the town's annual Christmas tradition. 795 00:32:25,243 --> 00:32:28,046 And you did that by hiding in a snow bank all night 796 00:32:28,046 --> 00:32:29,414 and scaring me? 797 00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:31,416 [chuckles] 798 00:32:31,416 --> 00:32:32,217 Sir Arthuh do well? 799 00:32:32,717 --> 00:32:35,120 I think there was a lot of inbreeding 800 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,022 in royal families back then. 801 00:32:37,022 --> 00:32:39,090 Well, with my quest complete, 802 00:32:39,090 --> 00:32:42,093 I shall now return to my jolly castle. 803 00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:45,130 Alright, how's the article going? 804 00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,765 Is Grandma Coco's typewriter treating you well? 805 00:32:47,032 --> 00:32:49,100 Oh, the article is amazing. 806 00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:51,269 Grandma Coco's typewriter is a dream. 807 00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:53,405 Okay, well, she's not your grandma, so why don't you know, 808 00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:53,939 back off and-- 809 00:32:53,939 --> 00:32:54,906 Oh, dear God. 810 00:32:55,874 --> 00:32:58,076 [taking deep breaths] 811 00:32:58,076 --> 00:33:00,946 I found here what I could not find back home. 812 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,048 Which was. 813 00:33:03,048 --> 00:33:04,583 The thing with the snow bank for the town tradition 814 00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:05,650 whatever, okay? 815 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,818 Now listen. 816 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,220 I need you to knight me 817 00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:10,922 or something and send me back. 818 00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:15,827 [♪♪♪] 819 00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,603 Wait! 820 00:33:24,603 --> 00:33:26,104 What does a prince need to do around here do 821 00:33:26,104 --> 00:33:28,940 to get a hot load in the face? 822 00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,909 The Christmas Eve tradition, I keep hearing about it. 823 00:33:30,909 --> 00:33:31,676 What is it? 824 00:33:31,943 --> 00:33:33,278 Oh, you mean, the Snowy Heightsville Fallstown 825 00:33:33,278 --> 00:33:35,313 Common Hillingdon on the lake Christmas Eve 826 00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:37,182 bake sale carolling competition-- 827 00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:39,251 Time capsule opening tradition snow globe building 828 00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:41,353 competition wish making tradition? 829 00:33:42,487 --> 00:33:44,089 -Yes. -Why? 830 00:33:44,089 --> 00:33:45,090 What's so special about it? 831 00:33:45,090 --> 00:33:47,859 What is it fundraise for? 832 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:51,096 Uh, well, Chris, and I, and Grandma Coco, uh, 833 00:33:52,264 --> 00:33:53,465 we'd always bake her gingerbread cookies 834 00:33:54,499 --> 00:33:56,801 and sell them to raise money for the local homeless shelter 835 00:33:56,801 --> 00:33:58,169 for local homelesses. 836 00:33:58,169 --> 00:34:00,005 Keith, it's perfect. 837 00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:02,040 We can use the Christmas Eve-- 838 00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:04,776 Bake sale fundraiser comp-- 839 00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:05,510 -Carolling-- -Carolling-- 840 00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:06,778 -Competition-- -Competition-- 841 00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:07,612 Time capsule-- 842 00:34:07,612 --> 00:34:10,615 Opening tradition snow globe building 843 00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:13,618 competition wish making tradition. 844 00:34:13,618 --> 00:34:16,621 Yeah, okay, so we can use that thing 845 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:19,891 to raise money to save Cup of Cheer. 846 00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:21,459 I love that idea. 847 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:22,961 But-- 848 00:34:23,461 --> 00:34:25,463 Chris, he'd never go for it. 849 00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:27,565 His worst fear is becoming a charity case. 850 00:34:28,133 --> 00:34:30,902 And even if he did, none of us know how to bake. 851 00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:34,139 I realize I sound like Chris, 852 00:34:34,139 --> 00:34:36,741 but it's hopeless. 853 00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:40,345 Did someone say "bake"? 854 00:34:40,345 --> 00:34:42,747 Yes, we all did, multiple times. 855 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,016 I-- 856 00:34:45,016 --> 00:34:47,519 I used to write for I Can Bake Magazine. 857 00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:50,522 It was right after my job baking for I Can Write Magazine. 858 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,658 Oh wait, you were the baker for I Can Write Magazine? 859 00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:54,993 No, I read about you in I can-- 860 00:34:54,993 --> 00:34:56,161 There's no time, Keith. 861 00:34:56,161 --> 00:34:56,928 Why not? 862 00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:57,696 Christmas. 863 00:34:57,696 --> 00:34:58,997 Christmas? 864 00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:04,169 Oh, that's the day after the Christmas Eve tradition. 865 00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:05,737 Exactly. 866 00:35:05,737 --> 00:35:07,439 And since I'm a great baker, 867 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:10,208 we better go convince Chris before it's too late. 868 00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:11,609 [gun fires] 869 00:35:12,744 --> 00:35:14,879 Keith, I've procured dinner. 870 00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:16,915 I hope you like child. 871 00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:26,758 Chris. 872 00:35:28,626 --> 00:35:31,730 Is that a candy cane or you're just happy to see me? 873 00:35:32,430 --> 00:35:34,132 Oh God, no, that's a boner. 874 00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,200 I have a massive boner. 875 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,701 Oh, crap. 876 00:35:36,701 --> 00:35:39,137 Chris, we found Grandma Coco's gingerbread recipe. 877 00:35:39,704 --> 00:35:41,106 And her typewriter. 878 00:35:41,406 --> 00:35:44,275 [Mary] Keith told me about the Christmas Eve fundraiser. 879 00:35:44,876 --> 00:35:47,245 It's the perfect opportunity. 880 00:35:47,579 --> 00:35:49,714 We can make Grandma Coco's cookies-- 881 00:35:49,714 --> 00:35:51,583 And sell them to townspeople. 882 00:35:51,916 --> 00:35:54,386 If we believe and have enough Christmas cheer, 883 00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:56,721 maybe we can raise enough to save Cup of Cheer. 884 00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:01,159 So you want us to save ourselves from Cocoflaps 885 00:36:02,127 --> 00:36:03,895 by becoming a charity case? 886 00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:07,232 You know what I have to say about that? 887 00:36:07,232 --> 00:36:07,966 You love it? 888 00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:10,568 I knew it, I knew, I knew. 889 00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:12,570 I've known you for almost two days and I've always said, 890 00:36:12,570 --> 00:36:14,739 "Chris is the kind of guy person I've known for almost two days." 891 00:36:14,739 --> 00:36:17,442 I hate your idea. 892 00:36:17,442 --> 00:36:19,677 Getting folks to buy stuff from us 893 00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:21,579 just to keep our business afloat? 894 00:36:23,248 --> 00:36:25,984 Is that the kind of legacy Grandma Coco would have wanted? 895 00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:28,753 -You just described a business. -I never met the woman. 896 00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:29,921 No. 897 00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:31,256 Come on, Mary. 898 00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:32,424 Let's go. 899 00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:34,993 I told you Chris would be like this. 900 00:36:35,427 --> 00:36:37,095 Hey lady, we're not open yet, okay? 901 00:36:37,095 --> 00:36:39,264 So take a hike, doll. 902 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:41,633 Oh, it's you. 903 00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:44,302 Please, leave. 904 00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:46,805 I couldn't figure out what device you lads 905 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:48,840 use to cook with, so I left the child 906 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,375 above the fireplace. 907 00:36:52,277 --> 00:36:54,179 Why do you all look so glum? 908 00:36:54,179 --> 00:36:56,147 We were trying to save Cup of Cheer, 909 00:36:56,147 --> 00:36:58,116 but someone isn't having any of it. 910 00:36:58,950 --> 00:37:01,786 And that someone is Chris. 911 00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:05,023 Chris this guy here, the someone, 912 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,358 the one with the huge-- 913 00:37:07,358 --> 00:37:09,727 Look, I only hated your idea, because it's a dumb idea 914 00:37:10,628 --> 00:37:11,963 and you guys are ignorant. 915 00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:13,631 Hate, you say? 916 00:37:13,832 --> 00:37:16,468 The only thing more powerful than hate 917 00:37:16,968 --> 00:37:18,069 is love. 918 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,310 You guys-- you guys must take me for some sorta 919 00:37:26,144 --> 00:37:27,212 humbug. 920 00:37:27,212 --> 00:37:28,480 Humbug? 921 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,648 Oh, Chris, you're not a humbug. 922 00:37:30,648 --> 00:37:32,884 You're a hum-man. 923 00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:35,053 A hum-man. 924 00:37:35,053 --> 00:37:36,988 A human. 925 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:39,824 And I'll be damned if you're not my brother, bro. 926 00:37:41,159 --> 00:37:43,828 Okay, well, I appreciate everything you're doing, 927 00:37:46,831 --> 00:37:48,867 but Grandma Coco would never have begged. 928 00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:59,911 All that's left to do is to open up these doors 929 00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:03,281 one final time and serve our loyal customers 930 00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,850 a final few cups of Christmas cheer. 931 00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:09,087 Bow out gracefully. 932 00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:11,523 It's what Grandma Coco would've wanted. 933 00:38:19,430 --> 00:38:20,431 [glass breaks] 934 00:38:22,734 --> 00:38:25,203 She was losing it in her final years. 935 00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:31,743 Listen, the point is-- 936 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:33,645 [sighing] 937 00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:37,215 We're not gonna accept charity, we're not. 938 00:38:37,215 --> 00:38:39,117 And we're not gonna ask for help. 939 00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:40,451 End of sentence. 940 00:38:40,451 --> 00:38:41,719 Period. 941 00:38:43,421 --> 00:38:46,057 You should know all about those, Mary. 942 00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:47,325 Huh, clever. 943 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:50,128 Uh, because of her monthly bewitchings of the um-- 944 00:38:50,428 --> 00:38:52,230 [Chris] Oh, oh. 945 00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:53,565 Oh God, no. 946 00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:56,167 Uh, no, it's because she's a writer. 947 00:38:56,734 --> 00:38:58,903 Maybe you can't help that you can't ask for help, 948 00:38:59,604 --> 00:39:01,239 but I can. 949 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,074 [Mary] Help it. 950 00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:05,944 We're gonna help you whether you like it or not. 951 00:39:07,412 --> 00:39:08,446 Come on, Keith. 952 00:39:08,446 --> 00:39:11,182 We have got some baking to do. 953 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,917 [Mary] We're gonna bake. 954 00:39:13,451 --> 00:39:14,919 Some cookies. 955 00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:17,922 We're gonna bake. 956 00:39:18,256 --> 00:39:21,693 Chris, you knew Grandma Coco better than anyone. 957 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:25,797 If you don't wanna tarnish her legacy, 958 00:39:25,797 --> 00:39:28,466 then we can still honour it by 959 00:39:28,466 --> 00:39:31,369 baking her spicy, 960 00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:33,538 beefy sour-- 961 00:39:33,538 --> 00:39:35,974 Oh, Gingerbread cookies. 962 00:39:35,974 --> 00:39:38,443 Oh, oh! 963 00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:40,111 Without asking for charity? 964 00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:42,547 Yeah, not if you don't want to. 965 00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:48,686 [Keith] Just don't be afraid to ask for help. 966 00:39:49,153 --> 00:39:51,122 Mary's right. 967 00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:54,392 You haven't been asking for it enough, lately. 968 00:39:55,460 --> 00:39:56,861 I ask for help. 969 00:39:56,861 --> 00:39:57,895 Keith, I can ask for help. 970 00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:59,664 I'll ask Authuh for help. 971 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:03,901 Okay, yeah, I don't know. 972 00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:07,338 Um, just turn on the tree lights. 973 00:40:07,338 --> 00:40:08,206 Right away. 974 00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:10,341 Hey, sugar tits. 975 00:40:10,341 --> 00:40:11,843 Come here often? 976 00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:13,544 Let's get baking. 977 00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:17,982 Mm. 978 00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:20,318 This recipe is centuries old! 979 00:40:20,518 --> 00:40:22,654 It was passed down to Grandma Coco 980 00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,823 by some tall guy on a ladder. 981 00:40:28,326 --> 00:40:30,828 [♪♪♪] 982 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,913 At least, it's still up here. 983 00:40:50,348 --> 00:40:51,349 (thus) 984 00:40:51,749 --> 00:40:53,618 Grandma Coco. 985 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,521 [♪♪♪] 986 00:41:05,263 --> 00:41:06,364 [chuckling] 987 00:41:12,370 --> 00:41:13,571 You want me. 988 00:41:13,571 --> 00:41:15,807 The traditional pudding of my royal family house. 989 00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:18,710 Spotless dick. 990 00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,820 [taking deep breaths] 991 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,223 [♪♪♪] 992 00:41:33,925 --> 00:41:36,561 Guys, this looks like a lot of gingerbread for just us. 993 00:41:38,062 --> 00:41:40,898 Are you sure you're not doin' it to raise money? 994 00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:42,500 Oh, lighten up. 995 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,302 [chuckling] 996 00:41:44,302 --> 00:41:47,105 It's just a harmless bit of Christmas cheer. 997 00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:48,906 Just for us. 998 00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:52,810 [laughing] 999 00:41:56,948 --> 00:41:57,648 He's cute. 1000 00:41:58,182 --> 00:41:59,450 [laughing] 1001 00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:01,586 [Chris] Oh, oh. 1002 00:42:06,958 --> 00:42:11,028 ♪ Christmas is comin' 1003 00:42:11,028 --> 00:42:13,531 ♪ And I wanna know 1004 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:14,465 ♪ I wanna know 1005 00:42:14,465 --> 00:42:17,001 ♪ Will you holly my jolly 1006 00:42:17,001 --> 00:42:21,439 ♪ If I decked your halls, wrapped up in a bone ♪ 1007 00:42:21,839 --> 00:42:23,775 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1008 00:42:23,775 --> 00:42:25,877 ♪ All my wishes are comin' 1009 00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:27,779 ♪ Wishes are comin' 1010 00:42:27,779 --> 00:42:31,883 ♪ Santa's bringing the ho-hos 1011 00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:35,853 ♪ Special people, I love drinkin' cup after cup ♪ 1012 00:42:35,853 --> 00:42:38,122 ♪ Of my favourite cocoa 1013 00:42:38,790 --> 00:42:40,191 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 1014 00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:45,997 ♪ So I raise my cup of cheer 1015 00:42:45,997 --> 00:42:50,234 ♪ Toast to another lovely year 1016 00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:55,306 ♪ Santa baby, won't you 1017 00:42:55,306 --> 00:42:58,309 ♪ Christmas is comin' 1018 00:43:04,081 --> 00:43:06,050 It really is the best hot cocoa I've had. 1019 00:43:06,551 --> 00:43:07,752 Ever. 1020 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,089 So it's all that secret cinnamon. 1021 00:43:12,356 --> 00:43:14,325 And maybe a tiny bit of love. 1022 00:43:14,826 --> 00:43:15,593 I knew it. 1023 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:16,494 [chuckling] 1024 00:43:16,494 --> 00:43:17,929 I knew it. 1025 00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:25,403 [slurping] 1026 00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:40,518 [grunting] 1027 00:43:45,189 --> 00:43:47,925 [chuckling] 1028 00:43:56,868 --> 00:43:58,269 [burping] 1029 00:43:58,269 --> 00:43:59,871 [chuckling] 1030 00:44:02,707 --> 00:44:03,441 Phew! 1031 00:44:03,674 --> 00:44:04,876 You know, I'm going to miss Cup of Cheer. 1032 00:44:05,710 --> 00:44:08,145 Wakin' up every morning at 4:00 a.m. 1033 00:44:08,145 --> 00:44:11,115 to boil the hot water by blowin' hot air on it 1034 00:44:11,115 --> 00:44:14,051 with my mouth, wipin' down the toilet bowls 1035 00:44:14,051 --> 00:44:15,653 using my head as a toilet brush. 1036 00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,725 Even gonna miss cleaning the mugs at the end of the night 1037 00:44:20,725 --> 00:44:23,227 by letting our dog Archie lick 'em. 1038 00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:24,729 Oh, hi. 1039 00:44:24,962 --> 00:44:26,597 [chuckling] 1040 00:44:29,934 --> 00:44:32,737 You know, what you said to me when we first met yesterday? 1041 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:36,574 You said that giving up at the first sign of trouble 1042 00:44:36,574 --> 00:44:38,309 is typical big city behaviour. 1043 00:44:39,076 --> 00:44:40,278 And look who's giving up now. 1044 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,850 Maybe you just need someone who won't give up on you. 1045 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:49,620 No, I think I've made up my mind, you know? 1046 00:44:50,421 --> 00:44:53,624 And if uh, if you ever betray me 1047 00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:56,994 or like go behind my back for any reason, 1048 00:44:56,994 --> 00:44:58,296 even if it's to benefit me, 1049 00:44:58,296 --> 00:45:00,197 because I'm being needlessly stubborn-- 1050 00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:02,934 I swear to God, Mary, I will deck your halls. 1051 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:04,835 You know, what I realized when I first moved to the big city? 1052 00:45:04,835 --> 00:45:06,637 That you're only small-town hot? 1053 00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:08,773 I'd rather be small-town hot than low-budget Christmas movie 1054 00:45:08,773 --> 00:45:11,709 parody leading man material, but-- 1055 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,611 -That's just my type. -That's just my type. 1056 00:45:13,945 --> 00:45:16,547 [chuckling] 1057 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:17,448 Anyways, um 1058 00:45:18,783 --> 00:45:21,385 I realized that in a place where everyone looks out 1059 00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:24,188 for themselves, it's easy to think it's all about you. 1060 00:45:25,189 --> 00:45:27,625 And that the only things that matter are your career 1061 00:45:28,326 --> 00:45:31,128 or your mortgage or your own happiness 1062 00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:35,333 or your feminine rights to self-determination of your own body 1063 00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:38,202 in a world with an increasingly fraught and fractured 1064 00:45:38,202 --> 00:45:40,538 political spectrum where common sense is often 1065 00:45:40,538 --> 00:45:43,140 outweighed by sensationalism and fervour spread 1066 00:45:43,140 --> 00:45:45,509 via social media by bigots and foreign governments trying 1067 00:45:45,509 --> 00:45:47,144 to undermine democracy as a whole. 1068 00:45:47,478 --> 00:45:48,879 [chuckles] 1069 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,516 Right, so those things don't matter? 1070 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,052 Not here, Chris. 1071 00:45:55,052 --> 00:45:57,221 [Mary] Not-- not in this town! 1072 00:45:57,221 --> 00:45:59,190 Not at Christmas. 1073 00:45:59,190 --> 00:46:01,158 Right, they just seem like worthy things we should 1074 00:46:01,158 --> 00:46:02,760 all want-- 1075 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,529 The lesson, Chris, is that when you're in a small town 1076 00:46:05,529 --> 00:46:06,530 like Snowy-- 1077 00:46:06,530 --> 00:46:07,665 You're close. 1078 00:46:07,665 --> 00:46:09,734 What matters is love. 1079 00:46:09,734 --> 00:46:12,003 I see what you're saying. 1080 00:46:12,536 --> 00:46:14,905 It's up to all of us to stick together 1081 00:46:15,506 --> 00:46:17,675 and help each other out. 1082 00:46:17,675 --> 00:46:20,344 Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, yeah. 1083 00:46:21,212 --> 00:46:24,515 As long as that help doesn't come in the form of charity 1084 00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,517 and people raising money to help save Cup of Cheer. 1085 00:46:27,852 --> 00:46:28,919 Hmm, shoot. 1086 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,188 But I think I understand what you mean. 1087 00:46:31,188 --> 00:46:32,123 It's about family. 1088 00:46:34,959 --> 00:46:36,927 Who the poop is that? 1089 00:46:36,927 --> 00:46:37,795 It's my niece, Georgia. 1090 00:46:38,195 --> 00:46:38,929 Oh. 1091 00:46:39,363 --> 00:46:40,431 What do you think, Georgia? 1092 00:46:40,931 --> 00:46:43,200 Do we trust Mary enough to show her our 1093 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,269 secret family-only Christmas spot? 1094 00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:52,476 New mommy. 1095 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:53,611 Hmm. 1096 00:46:55,546 --> 00:46:56,947 Let's go. 1097 00:46:59,383 --> 00:47:01,118 Okay, Georgia. 1098 00:47:01,118 --> 00:47:03,054 You stay here, okay, and play in the snow. 1099 00:47:03,054 --> 00:47:04,155 [Chris] Mary and I are gonna go. 1100 00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:05,823 We'll be watching you, don't worry, okay. 1101 00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:12,563 Wow, this is amazing. 1102 00:47:13,264 --> 00:47:15,666 And conveniently empty for around Christmas. 1103 00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:25,776 I could get used to this town. 1104 00:47:27,745 --> 00:47:29,780 Yeah, it's pretty great. 1105 00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:34,418 Just really hasn't been the same since um-- 1106 00:47:34,418 --> 00:47:35,486 You can tell me, Chris-- 1107 00:47:35,486 --> 00:47:37,254 Christmas Eve, last year. 1108 00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:39,256 The snow was coming down pretty hard by the time Grandma Coco 1109 00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:41,092 was closin' up shop. 1110 00:47:41,926 --> 00:47:44,929 The weather outside, it was frightful. 1111 00:47:45,262 --> 00:47:47,331 -And the fire-- -Was so delightful? 1112 00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,699 No, it took three lives down at the bakery. 1113 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:50,101 It was tragic. 1114 00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:52,870 Keith workin' at his job as Flash, the Mall Elf 1115 00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:55,473 and I was supposed to go help Grandma Coco lock up but-- 1116 00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,610 But I was at the Christmas Eve fundraiser. 1117 00:47:59,944 --> 00:48:02,613 My entire life Grandma Coco has always been there to help me. 1118 00:48:03,013 --> 00:48:05,616 She wiped my tears away when I cried, 1119 00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:09,687 she wiped my bum-bum when I took a big hot stinky. 1120 00:48:11,856 --> 00:48:14,658 Now, when she needed help the most on Christmas Eve, 1121 00:48:14,658 --> 00:48:15,893 I-- 1122 00:48:17,294 --> 00:48:19,063 It's too painful, Chris, you don't have to-- 1123 00:48:19,063 --> 00:48:21,632 She died doin' what she loved. 1124 00:48:21,999 --> 00:48:24,502 -[Mary] Working in the shop-- -Black-tar heroin. 1125 00:48:28,706 --> 00:48:31,375 I still remember her smile. 1126 00:48:31,842 --> 00:48:34,879 That loose-toothed smile. 1127 00:48:35,179 --> 00:48:37,982 I can see why this time of year is so hard for you. 1128 00:48:39,216 --> 00:48:42,253 That's why I will never, ever-- 1129 00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:45,756 -Do heroin? -Ask for help on Christmas Eve. 1130 00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,525 I mean why should anybody help me 1131 00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:50,327 if I couldn't even help my own Grandma Coco? 1132 00:48:57,001 --> 00:48:58,235 Everybody can use a little help. 1133 00:48:58,235 --> 00:48:59,537 [Chris] Maybe. 1134 00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:03,174 Maybe my help came in the form of this awful man opening 1135 00:49:03,174 --> 00:49:05,876 up a Cocoflaps, putting me out of my misery. 1136 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:10,181 You know, maybe this terrible man, 1137 00:49:10,181 --> 00:49:13,083 and everybody he knows, and is associated with 1138 00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:16,253 is the lump of coal in my stocking 1139 00:49:16,253 --> 00:49:18,923 here to punish me for all my past mistakes. 1140 00:49:19,423 --> 00:49:20,858 Maybe-- 1141 00:49:21,926 --> 00:49:23,961 Maybe I'm gonna kiss you right now. 1142 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:25,095 Oh. 1143 00:49:25,095 --> 00:49:26,697 Just like Grandma Coco taught me. 1144 00:49:26,697 --> 00:49:27,464 Oh. 1145 00:49:27,698 --> 00:49:30,467 The secret is lots of give in your teeth. 1146 00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:32,269 Oh. 1147 00:49:34,939 --> 00:49:36,040 -Chris. -Oh, Mary. 1148 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,107 -Chris. -Mary. 1149 00:49:37,107 --> 00:49:38,108 -Mary. -Chris. 1150 00:49:38,375 --> 00:49:40,878 Chris, no, I-- 1151 00:49:40,878 --> 00:49:41,946 I have to tell you something. 1152 00:49:43,214 --> 00:49:45,983 The Cocoflaps man from the diner, he's-- 1153 00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:48,052 He's my ex. 1154 00:49:48,052 --> 00:49:49,753 Mai Ex. 1155 00:49:49,954 --> 00:49:51,555 He's your ex? 1156 00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:54,491 Yes, and also Mai Ex. 1157 00:49:54,892 --> 00:49:55,926 I don't understand. 1158 00:49:55,926 --> 00:49:57,094 What? Why are you rubbing it in? 1159 00:49:57,094 --> 00:49:59,230 Did you send him here to shut down Cup of Cheer? 1160 00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:00,764 What, no! 1161 00:50:00,764 --> 00:50:02,233 Why would I do that? 1162 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,602 I didn't know he was coming. 1163 00:50:04,602 --> 00:50:06,437 -I promise I'm not-- -I'm not like what? 1164 00:50:06,437 --> 00:50:08,739 Like all these other city slickers? 1165 00:50:08,739 --> 00:50:10,574 That come here, lying and cheating their way into 1166 00:50:10,574 --> 00:50:13,344 this beautiful small town just for easy access to abortions? 1167 00:50:14,445 --> 00:50:16,747 God, Mary, you already admitted it. 1168 00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:20,751 You know, you can take the girl out of the big city, 1169 00:50:22,253 --> 00:50:25,155 but you can't put a small town 1170 00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:27,591 in a big girl. 1171 00:50:29,260 --> 00:50:30,761 [sighs] 1172 00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:37,601 [Mary] If there is one thing I know about this town, 1173 00:50:37,601 --> 00:50:40,037 it's that today is Christmas Eve in this town. 1174 00:50:44,808 --> 00:50:46,477 Chris. 1175 00:50:50,347 --> 00:50:53,284 Come back. 1176 00:50:53,484 --> 00:50:54,652 Chris. 1177 00:50:59,523 --> 00:51:01,625 [Mary] Thanks to all the Christmas cheer, 1178 00:51:01,625 --> 00:51:04,662 nothing bad happens here and-- 1179 00:51:04,662 --> 00:51:07,464 and no one ever upsets the man they're falling for 1180 00:51:07,464 --> 00:51:09,533 because their ex comes to town 1181 00:51:09,533 --> 00:51:10,968 to close Cup of Cheer. 1182 00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:18,208 It's all lies. 1183 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,311 It's over. 1184 00:51:20,311 --> 00:51:22,079 Uh, my private shoulder. 1185 00:51:23,147 --> 00:51:25,316 Everyone is so on edge today. 1186 00:51:25,316 --> 00:51:27,751 Chris wouldn't even tuck me in last night. 1187 00:51:27,751 --> 00:51:29,086 I'm sorry. 1188 00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:30,821 We're all going through stuff right now, Authuh. 1189 00:51:32,856 --> 00:51:35,392 We really do need to save your Christmas cheer. 1190 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:37,328 Do you know what happened to my mother when she lost 1191 00:51:37,328 --> 00:51:38,329 her Christmas cheer? 1192 00:51:38,329 --> 00:51:39,530 No, what happened? 1193 00:51:40,364 --> 00:51:42,666 Nothing, she was burnt at the stake for sneezing in church. 1194 00:51:42,666 --> 00:51:43,334 [gasps] 1195 00:51:44,001 --> 00:51:46,870 But you, Mary, you can do something. 1196 00:51:47,504 --> 00:51:49,239 You told me it was your ex-betrothed causing 1197 00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:50,674 all the problems, yes? 1198 00:51:51,275 --> 00:51:53,344 I never told you that, but yes. 1199 00:51:53,344 --> 00:51:55,346 Well, go talk to him. 1200 00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:58,182 Oh my gosh. 1201 00:51:58,182 --> 00:51:59,516 Authuh, you're right. 1202 00:51:59,516 --> 00:52:01,885 Yes, yes, marry your ex, 1203 00:52:01,885 --> 00:52:03,187 take over this town with him. 1204 00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:05,556 Have Chris beheaded. 1205 00:52:05,556 --> 00:52:06,857 It's the right thing to do. 1206 00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:15,232 Oh, I'll go and talk to Mai Ex 1207 00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:17,301 and see if there is a way I can put an end 1208 00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:18,235 to all of this. 1209 00:52:20,437 --> 00:52:21,939 Perhaps, you can help-- 1210 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,208 Old Authuh here. 1211 00:52:24,208 --> 00:52:25,409 Put an end to his suffering and-- 1212 00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:29,046 Send me back home? 1213 00:52:36,787 --> 00:52:37,721 Kill them. 1214 00:52:37,721 --> 00:52:38,455 Kill them all. 1215 00:52:38,455 --> 00:52:39,823 Yeah, of course. 1216 00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,657 [kissing] 1217 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:41,458 That's how I get back home. 1218 00:52:42,793 --> 00:52:44,061 Yeah! 1219 00:52:49,099 --> 00:52:50,334 [♪♪♪] 1220 00:52:55,639 --> 00:52:57,141 [sniffing] 1221 00:53:01,078 --> 00:53:03,180 Slam dunk! - Oh, touchdown! 1222 00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,749 What can I get you, boys? 1223 00:53:05,749 --> 00:53:08,252 Uh, why don't you shut up, go back to the kitchen, 1224 00:53:08,252 --> 00:53:10,587 and make me a sandwich, B word? 1225 00:53:10,587 --> 00:53:12,423 One sandwich, comin' up. 1226 00:53:12,423 --> 00:53:14,191 Wait, no, actually I want a cinnamon bun. 1227 00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:16,460 Hold the cinnamon, extra bun. 1228 00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:20,464 Oh, look who it is! 1229 00:53:22,433 --> 00:53:24,468 How'd you know where to find me? 1230 00:53:24,468 --> 00:53:26,437 I saw you here the other day. 1231 00:53:26,437 --> 00:53:28,839 I figured you'd still be here knowing how much you love 1232 00:53:28,839 --> 00:53:30,641 to not leave places. 1233 00:53:30,641 --> 00:53:31,775 Uh, you ain't wrong. 1234 00:53:31,775 --> 00:53:34,144 I came to stop you from making a big mistake. 1235 00:53:34,445 --> 00:53:35,312 Too late. 1236 00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:35,946 What? 1237 00:53:36,180 --> 00:53:38,148 That's when my bedtime is these days. 1238 00:53:38,382 --> 00:53:40,117 Miss me now? 1239 00:53:40,651 --> 00:53:42,553 I'm a big boy. 1240 00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:43,454 -Big baby boy. -Mmhmm. 1241 00:53:43,454 --> 00:53:44,855 5'7". 1242 00:53:44,855 --> 00:53:47,124 I'm talking about Cup of Cheer. 1243 00:53:47,124 --> 00:53:48,192 You can't take it over. 1244 00:53:48,192 --> 00:53:49,159 It's not like-- 1245 00:53:49,159 --> 00:53:51,895 One cinnamon bun, no cinnamon. 1246 00:53:52,563 --> 00:53:54,631 Are you sure there's no cinnamon? 1247 00:53:54,631 --> 00:53:56,166 [Mai Ex] I'm deathly allergic. 1248 00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:58,368 But even big boys can have allergies. 1249 00:53:58,368 --> 00:54:01,038 My adult paediatrician even said so, yeah. 1250 00:54:01,305 --> 00:54:03,240 No cinnamon. 1251 00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:04,675 Hey, I'm not afraid to sue. 1252 00:54:04,675 --> 00:54:06,376 I sued my own mother for sneezing in church. 1253 00:54:06,376 --> 00:54:09,346 Now, Mary, listen and listen real close. 1254 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:13,851 I've said it once and I will say it again. 1255 00:54:13,851 --> 00:54:15,752 I've said it once and I will say it again, 1256 00:54:15,752 --> 00:54:17,321 but I will not repeat myself. 1257 00:54:17,321 --> 00:54:19,389 Cup of Cheer is dead. 1258 00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:22,159 Cocoflaps is takin' over 1259 00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:25,362 and I won't repeat myself about that. 1260 00:54:26,230 --> 00:54:28,999 I even paid the landlord to make Cup of Cheer's rent due sooner 1261 00:54:28,999 --> 00:54:31,268 to get rid of them before Christmas 1262 00:54:31,668 --> 00:54:34,204 and I won't repeat myself. 1263 00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:36,039 You made the rent due sooner? 1264 00:54:36,039 --> 00:54:38,108 Of course I did, babes! 1265 00:54:38,775 --> 00:54:40,911 I won't stop until I get what I want. 1266 00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:43,547 And you know what else I did? 1267 00:54:45,883 --> 00:54:49,186 Sent a spy undercover as a time-travelling British prince 1268 00:54:49,186 --> 00:54:50,354 to gather information? 1269 00:54:50,354 --> 00:54:53,190 Oh, come on, please, that's the oldest trick in the book. 1270 00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:55,859 You know, your precious boy Chris? 1271 00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:57,227 The guy this conversation is about? 1272 00:54:57,227 --> 00:54:58,862 So you do know him. 1273 00:54:58,862 --> 00:54:59,763 I thought so. 1274 00:54:59,763 --> 00:55:01,298 I kidnapped his niece. 1275 00:55:01,532 --> 00:55:02,699 Well, my henchman did. 1276 00:55:02,699 --> 00:55:05,636 Well, actually, I outsourced it to my henchman. 1277 00:55:06,703 --> 00:55:08,071 What? His niece? 1278 00:55:08,071 --> 00:55:09,373 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 1279 00:55:09,373 --> 00:55:11,308 the one you went skating with. 1280 00:55:11,708 --> 00:55:13,577 I took away what he loved the most. 1281 00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:18,649 Oh, no. 1282 00:55:19,082 --> 00:55:20,617 I don't think he's noticed. 1283 00:55:20,617 --> 00:55:21,952 No one noticed. 1284 00:55:23,287 --> 00:55:24,121 [laughing] 1285 00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:25,088 Dude, no one gives a shit. 1286 00:55:25,088 --> 00:55:27,057 That is messed up! 1287 00:55:27,424 --> 00:55:29,793 You know what, buster? 1288 00:55:29,793 --> 00:55:32,563 This means war. 1289 00:55:32,563 --> 00:55:35,098 Meet World War I and World War II, 1290 00:55:35,098 --> 00:55:37,167 and they're about to enact the Morgenthau Plan 1291 00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:39,736 all over your face 1292 00:55:40,237 --> 00:55:42,739 by eliminating your ability to rebuild an arms industry 1293 00:55:42,739 --> 00:55:44,908 via the removal of industries necessary 1294 00:55:44,908 --> 00:55:46,910 for basic military strength. 1295 00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:48,612 Because in this scenario, 1296 00:55:48,612 --> 00:55:51,281 you are occupied post-war Germany, 1297 00:55:51,281 --> 00:55:53,417 and I am the Allied Forces, 1298 00:55:53,417 --> 00:55:55,519 and as a result of the Morgenthau Plan, 1299 00:55:55,519 --> 00:55:58,288 your ability to wage war will be severely hampered 1300 00:55:58,288 --> 00:55:59,756 by my efforts. 1301 00:56:00,591 --> 00:56:02,793 Aw! 1302 00:56:02,793 --> 00:56:04,795 You always look pretty when you're bein' 1303 00:56:04,795 --> 00:56:07,464 all smarty-pants. 1304 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:10,867 Chris, no! 1305 00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:12,803 No, it's not what it looks like. 1306 00:56:12,803 --> 00:56:13,370 Chris! 1307 00:56:15,272 --> 00:56:16,974 [Mai Ex] Look at you. 1308 00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:19,876 You leave her alone! 1309 00:56:21,345 --> 00:56:22,679 [grunting] 1310 00:56:24,448 --> 00:56:26,516 Thank you, Mrs. Clovenshart. 1311 00:56:28,285 --> 00:56:30,787 You know, you're a regular Harry Dexter White, 1312 00:56:31,188 --> 00:56:33,624 who, as we now know was-- 1313 00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:35,626 Instrumental in the drafting of the original 1314 00:56:35,626 --> 00:56:36,860 Morgenthau memorandum! 1315 00:56:37,361 --> 00:56:38,028 Well done, nice, yeah. 1316 00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:40,897 Oh, Mary, you're always so pretty 1317 00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:43,166 when you're being all smarty-pants. 1318 00:56:43,166 --> 00:56:44,534 [chuckling] 1319 00:56:44,534 --> 00:56:47,537 Oh my butterscotch, I gotta go! 1320 00:56:47,537 --> 00:56:49,406 You guys make your own goddamn dinner. 1321 00:56:54,144 --> 00:56:56,647 You don't scare me. 1322 00:56:56,847 --> 00:56:59,416 I know exactly what to do to stop you. 1323 00:56:59,983 --> 00:57:01,385 [spitting] 1324 00:57:01,585 --> 00:57:03,654 Please! 1325 00:57:03,654 --> 00:57:06,723 I butt-chug people like you for breakfast. 1326 00:57:07,157 --> 00:57:09,493 That's the reason why my bowels are so unhealthy. 1327 00:57:14,264 --> 00:57:15,599 Mary. 1328 00:57:18,935 --> 00:57:20,837 Merry Christmas. 1329 00:57:20,837 --> 00:57:21,905 No. 1330 00:57:21,905 --> 00:57:24,574 Merry Christmas to you. 1331 00:57:26,576 --> 00:57:28,712 Come here. 1332 00:57:34,217 --> 00:57:35,052 Good boy. 1333 00:57:35,052 --> 00:57:36,853 Up next is Santa's 1334 00:57:36,853 --> 00:57:39,523 biggest helper. 1335 00:57:39,856 --> 00:57:43,026 Get it up for Flash Them All Elf. 1336 00:57:44,961 --> 00:57:47,864 [indistinct lyrics] 1337 00:57:49,533 --> 00:57:52,102 [♪♪♪] 1338 00:57:55,272 --> 00:57:56,573 Keith. 1339 00:57:59,910 --> 00:58:01,778 [♪♪♪] 1340 00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:04,715 Keith. 1341 00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:09,586 I'm Flash Them All Elf, 1342 00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,222 and I'm here to flash you all, because 1343 00:58:12,222 --> 00:58:13,623 you're on my naughty list 1344 00:58:13,623 --> 00:58:16,426 and my jingle balls need some sugar plums. 1345 00:58:19,262 --> 00:58:21,398 [indistinct lyrics] 1346 00:58:24,134 --> 00:58:26,336 Keith! 1347 00:58:27,070 --> 00:58:29,139 Look, I didn't know who else to go to. 1348 00:58:29,139 --> 00:58:31,274 It's Mary, she-- 1349 00:58:31,274 --> 00:58:33,076 Her ex is the one who is closing us down, and opening up 1350 00:58:33,076 --> 00:58:37,481 a Cocoflaps, and I saw them together and-- 1351 00:58:38,148 --> 00:58:39,249 God. 1352 00:58:39,249 --> 00:58:40,250 I need you, brother bro. 1353 00:58:41,251 --> 00:58:42,419 [indistinct lyrics] 1354 00:58:43,086 --> 00:58:46,690 I'm glad you came to see me. 1355 00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:50,327 Sometimes love means giving people a chance 1356 00:58:50,327 --> 00:58:53,130 and sometimes it means roasting my chestnuts. 1357 00:58:55,098 --> 00:58:56,867 I have given her chances. 1358 00:58:56,867 --> 00:59:00,103 I even went to see her after she lied about her ex and-- 1359 00:59:00,303 --> 00:59:03,006 You should've seen the way they were embracing each other. 1360 00:59:03,273 --> 00:59:05,675 And the way that she was allowing him 1361 00:59:05,675 --> 00:59:08,478 to swish her face around roughly 1362 00:59:08,478 --> 00:59:10,981 and angrily by him 1363 00:59:11,882 --> 00:59:14,785 and she was loving it. 1364 00:59:15,485 --> 00:59:18,155 Looks like Flash Them All Elf needs to 1365 00:59:18,955 --> 00:59:22,325 come down from the North Pole 1366 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:25,162 and ride a certain someone like a sleigh. 1367 00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:28,198 Oh God, not this again. 1368 00:59:28,198 --> 00:59:29,966 It's the only way I can talk at work. 1369 00:59:29,966 --> 00:59:31,368 You say the same thing at home. 1370 00:59:31,368 --> 00:59:33,236 Are you sure you saw what you think you saw? 1371 00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:36,206 Mary doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would do that. 1372 00:59:36,206 --> 00:59:38,642 I want to come down your chimney and then I want you 1373 00:59:38,642 --> 00:59:40,010 to cum inside it. 1374 00:59:40,343 --> 00:59:41,344 What? 1375 00:59:41,344 --> 00:59:43,180 Look, I saw what she did with my own two eyes. 1376 00:59:44,681 --> 00:59:46,983 You need to get her out of the house. 1377 00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:51,488 Will someone make it reindeer 1378 00:59:51,488 --> 00:59:53,924 if I whip out my red nose? 1379 00:59:53,924 --> 00:59:55,158 Last time I whipped out my red nose, 1380 00:59:55,158 --> 00:59:57,994 it gave someone pink eye. 1381 00:59:59,496 --> 01:00:01,565 Oh, you know what? 1382 01:00:01,565 --> 01:00:04,367 If you didn't wanna spread your Christmas cheer over my face, 1383 01:00:04,367 --> 01:00:06,002 none of this would have happened! 1384 01:00:06,703 --> 01:00:08,405 You know who has Christmas cheer? 1385 01:00:08,672 --> 01:00:10,574 Mary Nice Lady. 1386 01:00:10,574 --> 01:00:11,675 Mary does. 1387 01:00:11,675 --> 01:00:13,610 [Keith] Mary has Christmas cheer. 1388 01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:15,278 Cup of Cheer is a store! 1389 01:00:17,681 --> 01:00:21,017 Screw me until your balls turn green, you dirty little grunch. 1390 01:00:21,017 --> 01:00:23,186 [gasps] 1391 01:00:24,855 --> 01:00:26,356 [indistinct lyrics] 1392 01:00:27,190 --> 01:00:29,025 I wish I could help, 1393 01:00:29,025 --> 01:00:31,862 but I don't get off until someone 1394 01:00:31,862 --> 01:00:33,864 gets me off. 1395 01:00:34,231 --> 01:00:37,200 Um, Christmas! 1396 01:00:40,904 --> 01:00:43,039 Actually I get off at 7:00. 1397 01:00:43,039 --> 01:00:44,774 But what am I supposed to do until then? 1398 01:00:44,774 --> 01:00:47,277 I'm miserable and it's Christmas Eve! 1399 01:00:47,777 --> 01:00:49,412 Christmas Eve? 1400 01:00:49,412 --> 01:00:52,382 Looks like Christmas came early. 1401 01:00:52,382 --> 01:00:54,317 Actually, my name is Keith Mas 1402 01:00:54,317 --> 01:00:56,553 and I always cum early. 1403 01:00:56,553 --> 01:00:57,821 Oh. 1404 01:01:02,559 --> 01:01:04,394 [Mary] Chris? 1405 01:01:04,394 --> 01:01:06,296 Chris Mas? 1406 01:01:06,296 --> 01:01:08,431 It's Mary. 1407 01:01:08,431 --> 01:01:11,401 Mary Nice Lady. 1408 01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:14,070 From earlier. 1409 01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:16,006 I need to tell you something important. 1410 01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:21,678 [magic sounds] 1411 01:01:23,513 --> 01:01:24,381 Chris? 1412 01:01:24,381 --> 01:01:25,782 Oh, it's just the loan sharks again. 1413 01:01:26,249 --> 01:01:29,252 Looks like a Christmas Eve storm is coming in. 1414 01:01:29,252 --> 01:01:32,255 Do you have somewhere to weather the storm, young lady? 1415 01:01:32,489 --> 01:01:35,258 I was supposed to go to the Christmas Eve fundraiser but-- 1416 01:01:36,092 --> 01:01:38,128 But I don't think I'm wanted now. 1417 01:01:38,461 --> 01:01:41,598 Come by my workshop in 15 minutes. 1418 01:01:41,598 --> 01:01:44,601 I think when you get there you will find exactly 1419 01:01:44,601 --> 01:01:46,670 what you're looking for. 1420 01:01:46,937 --> 01:01:48,038 Have it. 1421 01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,272 Oh. 1422 01:01:50,106 --> 01:01:51,174 [chuckling] 1423 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:13,964 Oh! 1424 01:02:13,964 --> 01:02:14,898 Mrs. Clovenwitch. 1425 01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:16,633 Yes, dear. 1426 01:02:16,633 --> 01:02:20,337 But you may call me "the Ghost of Christmas Past", 1427 01:02:20,337 --> 01:02:22,539 Chris Mas. 1428 01:02:22,539 --> 01:02:24,641 The Ghost of Christmas Past Christmas? 1429 01:02:25,308 --> 01:02:27,243 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 1430 01:02:27,844 --> 01:02:30,814 I've known Grandma Coco for many years 1431 01:02:30,814 --> 01:02:33,516 and she used to have a saying that went something like this, 1432 01:02:34,417 --> 01:02:37,053 "Accept the help to save Cup of Cheer 1433 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:40,156 and accept that you love Mary." 1434 01:02:40,991 --> 01:02:42,492 She said that? 1435 01:02:42,492 --> 01:02:44,160 Yeah, all the time. 1436 01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:45,662 Uh, but back then we used to laugh it off 1437 01:02:45,662 --> 01:02:46,363 as the heroin talking. 1438 01:02:46,363 --> 01:02:47,998 But it makes sense now. 1439 01:02:49,699 --> 01:02:52,902 Oh God, no-- I hate to say this and excuse my foul language, 1440 01:02:52,902 --> 01:02:55,505 but bah, flippin' humbug. 1441 01:02:55,505 --> 01:02:59,175 Grandma Coco's dead and her Christmas cheer died with her. 1442 01:03:00,510 --> 01:03:02,345 And now, Cup of Cheer will die, too. 1443 01:03:02,345 --> 01:03:05,181 Sooner or later, you'll figure it out 1444 01:03:05,181 --> 01:03:08,118 even if it takes a Christmas miracle. 1445 01:03:11,354 --> 01:03:12,522 Mary? 1446 01:03:13,089 --> 01:03:15,725 Oh, one more thing, Chris. 1447 01:03:15,925 --> 01:03:17,894 Hold this, I need to find my bus pass. 1448 01:03:18,194 --> 01:03:20,930 So, if you're the Ghost of Christmas Past, 1449 01:03:20,930 --> 01:03:22,232 are you like dead or something? 1450 01:03:22,232 --> 01:03:23,867 So now you ask, because up until now 1451 01:03:23,867 --> 01:03:26,803 it's been all me, me, me. 1452 01:03:27,871 --> 01:03:30,373 Selfish little turd. 1453 01:03:32,208 --> 01:03:34,044 [Santa] So what is it now, Chris? 1454 01:03:34,244 --> 01:03:35,712 Work? 1455 01:03:36,379 --> 01:03:37,113 Hmm? 1456 01:03:38,081 --> 01:03:39,716 Girl problems? 1457 01:03:39,716 --> 01:03:40,950 Boy problems? 1458 01:03:40,950 --> 01:03:43,119 I didn't wanna say anything, 1459 01:03:43,119 --> 01:03:45,221 but I saw your brother giving you a lap dance. 1460 01:03:48,258 --> 01:03:50,994 Call me old fashioned, but I don't think incest is so bad 1461 01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:52,495 if it's two guys. 1462 01:03:54,264 --> 01:03:57,934 You know Chris, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Presents. 1463 01:03:57,934 --> 01:03:59,836 [grunting] 1464 01:04:00,236 --> 01:04:02,172 I'm Santa. 1465 01:04:02,572 --> 01:04:03,973 Let me guess. 1466 01:04:03,973 --> 01:04:06,576 You want me to change, to accept charity? 1467 01:04:06,810 --> 01:04:09,579 To kiss Mary under the mistletoe? 1468 01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:12,015 Christmas is a time to focus on friends, okay, not enemies. 1469 01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:15,185 Keep that in mind for what's about to happen. 1470 01:04:15,418 --> 01:04:16,519 Hmm. 1471 01:04:22,258 --> 01:04:23,193 Give me a virgin. 1472 01:04:23,193 --> 01:04:24,427 A virgin what? 1473 01:04:24,627 --> 01:04:25,962 A blonde one with a shaved asshole. 1474 01:04:26,763 --> 01:04:28,298 Sorry, pal. Fresh out. 1475 01:04:28,298 --> 01:04:29,466 Fine. 1476 01:04:30,133 --> 01:04:32,035 I'll take a whiskey. 1477 01:04:33,470 --> 01:04:35,371 Unless your asshole is shaved. 1478 01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:38,208 Not since my submarine business went under. 1479 01:04:38,608 --> 01:04:39,676 Where's the shitter? 1480 01:04:39,676 --> 01:04:41,277 I usually just go anywhere. 1481 01:04:50,353 --> 01:04:50,854 Oh! 1482 01:04:51,488 --> 01:04:52,388 Mary? 1483 01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:53,890 Madame Clodhopper, thank goodness. 1484 01:04:54,290 --> 01:04:56,793 Mary, tell me you're looking for Chris. 1485 01:04:56,793 --> 01:04:58,027 I can't find him. 1486 01:04:58,027 --> 01:04:59,295 I need to tell him some important information 1487 01:04:59,295 --> 01:05:01,064 about defeating Mai Ex. 1488 01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:03,633 Well, the last time I saw him, he was walking that way. 1489 01:05:05,535 --> 01:05:07,804 That's the general direction of Santa's Workshop Pub. 1490 01:05:07,804 --> 01:05:08,972 Go, Mary! 1491 01:05:08,972 --> 01:05:10,306 You go get your man. 1492 01:05:10,306 --> 01:05:12,175 Go, get him! 1493 01:05:12,175 --> 01:05:14,477 You bring out the best in him, just like Grandma Coco did. 1494 01:05:15,044 --> 01:05:17,413 It was her and her Christmas cheer that made him donate 1495 01:05:17,413 --> 01:05:19,315 all of Cup of Cheer's money. 1496 01:05:19,315 --> 01:05:20,984 That's why he can't pay the rent. 1497 01:05:23,319 --> 01:05:25,188 Since she's gone, 1498 01:05:25,188 --> 01:05:27,724 his heart shrunk three sizes 1499 01:05:27,991 --> 01:05:30,093 until you came Mary. 1500 01:05:30,093 --> 01:05:32,262 We could all see! 1501 01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,330 You and Grandma Coco. 1502 01:05:34,330 --> 01:05:36,332 You bring him out of his shell the way 1503 01:05:36,332 --> 01:05:39,169 a dog's dick pops out of its casing 1504 01:05:39,169 --> 01:05:40,370 like a melted lipstick. 1505 01:05:43,006 --> 01:05:45,208 I'm afraid if I don't find him soon, 1506 01:05:45,208 --> 01:05:47,410 Cup of Cheer will be gone forever 1507 01:05:47,410 --> 01:05:49,412 and we'll never find his niece. 1508 01:05:49,679 --> 01:05:52,115 She's been kidnapped by the way, apparently. 1509 01:05:52,749 --> 01:05:55,685 Oh, you just leave finding his niece to me. 1510 01:05:55,685 --> 01:05:57,120 Before I ran a small town diner, 1511 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:58,721 I used to kidnap children for a living. 1512 01:05:58,721 --> 01:06:00,223 Now, go. 1513 01:06:00,223 --> 01:06:03,193 Go and spread that Christmas cheer like the wet 1514 01:06:03,193 --> 01:06:05,295 pink dog dick that you are. 1515 01:06:13,703 --> 01:06:14,704 [fart noises] 1516 01:06:24,147 --> 01:06:27,083 You know, 1517 01:06:27,550 --> 01:06:30,386 I'm startin' to think that you're following me around. 1518 01:06:32,388 --> 01:06:34,090 What can I say? 1519 01:06:34,090 --> 01:06:36,759 I like to stalk my prey. 1520 01:06:36,759 --> 01:06:39,162 Like one of Mary's famous loan sharks. 1521 01:06:44,634 --> 01:06:47,170 So if I'm your prey 1522 01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,172 and you're the shark, 1523 01:06:49,672 --> 01:06:51,341 then what's that make Mary? 1524 01:06:52,308 --> 01:06:53,243 [taking deep breaths] 1525 01:06:54,244 --> 01:06:56,412 Some sexy mermaid 1526 01:06:56,412 --> 01:06:58,414 that does all your dirty work for you? 1527 01:06:58,414 --> 01:07:00,917 [Mai Ex] You've really fallen for her, huh? 1528 01:07:00,917 --> 01:07:03,286 Fallen for her tricks, sure. 1529 01:07:03,519 --> 01:07:06,189 She was your little plant all along, wasn't she? 1530 01:07:06,189 --> 01:07:08,992 [Mai Ex] Sexy mermaid, little plant. 1531 01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:12,128 [Mai Ex] You really have some pervy fantasies about me and Mary. 1532 01:07:13,830 --> 01:07:16,132 I know who you are. 1533 01:07:16,332 --> 01:07:17,433 You're her ex. 1534 01:07:17,433 --> 01:07:19,102 [Mai Ex] Her ex? 1535 01:07:19,102 --> 01:07:21,170 I'm Mai Ex. 1536 01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:22,772 What? 1537 01:07:22,772 --> 01:07:24,073 My ex? 1538 01:07:24,073 --> 01:07:25,975 [Chris] That doesn't make any sense unless you're that guy 1539 01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:27,343 from college with the long and skinny-- 1540 01:07:27,343 --> 01:07:28,144 [Mai Ex] No, no. 1541 01:07:28,144 --> 01:07:30,613 My name is Mai Ex. 1542 01:07:30,847 --> 01:07:33,950 Your name is Mai Ex and you're her ex? 1543 01:07:33,950 --> 01:07:36,119 Her Ex is my middle name. 1544 01:07:36,119 --> 01:07:39,289 My name is Mai Ex Her Ex Hernandez Ex. 1545 01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:43,726 [Mai Ex] If you want, you can call me "Urex". 1546 01:07:44,294 --> 01:07:45,295 Why would I want that? 1547 01:07:45,295 --> 01:07:47,063 [Mai Ex] It's my nickname. 1548 01:07:49,632 --> 01:07:52,135 So, are you Mary's ex? 1549 01:07:52,135 --> 01:07:54,304 Yeah, but not for long. 1550 01:07:54,304 --> 01:07:57,040 If you don't catch my sloppy seconds, I'm gonna catch them. 1551 01:07:57,373 --> 01:07:58,975 And then she's gonna catch something. 1552 01:07:58,975 --> 01:08:00,043 [Mai Ex] Feelings. 1553 01:08:00,043 --> 01:08:01,978 [Mai Ex] And bird flu bed bugs. 1554 01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:05,214 I knew it. 1555 01:08:05,882 --> 01:08:08,551 She's just like all you other city folk. 1556 01:08:08,551 --> 01:08:10,219 Are you kidding? 1557 01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:13,489 Mary, a city folk? 1558 01:08:13,856 --> 01:08:16,359 I guess you didn't know that she grew up in this shithole. 1559 01:08:16,993 --> 01:08:19,829 Deep down she'll always be a small-town girl. 1560 01:08:20,496 --> 01:08:22,999 Wanna know why she broke up with me? 1561 01:08:22,999 --> 01:08:25,368 It's 'cause I decided to close down some family-run 1562 01:08:25,368 --> 01:08:27,403 hot cocoa shop in the city that she liked 1563 01:08:27,403 --> 01:08:29,906 and I put in a Cocoflaps. 1564 01:08:29,906 --> 01:08:30,707 And then I murdered the family. 1565 01:08:30,707 --> 01:08:32,075 Financially. 1566 01:08:32,075 --> 01:08:34,344 With a gun. 1567 01:08:34,344 --> 01:08:36,346 She really broke up with you because of that? 1568 01:08:39,582 --> 01:08:42,185 Maybe I have her all wrong. 1569 01:08:42,185 --> 01:08:43,186 [Mai Ex] Oh. 1570 01:08:43,186 --> 01:08:44,354 [grunting] 1571 01:08:44,354 --> 01:08:47,223 Doesn't matter, Mr. Healthy-Shits Chris. 1572 01:08:48,358 --> 01:08:50,360 Small town girl or not, I'm gonna get her back 1573 01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:52,929 and take her from you just like I'm taking Cup of Cheer. 1574 01:08:52,929 --> 01:08:54,230 You know what, Tex-Mex? 1575 01:08:54,230 --> 01:08:56,032 [blowing air] 1576 01:08:56,032 --> 01:08:58,868 Christmas is a time for friends, not enemies. 1577 01:08:59,202 --> 01:09:02,138 [blowing air] 1578 01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:04,374 You do what you gotta do, dude. 1579 01:09:04,874 --> 01:09:06,476 I will. 1580 01:09:06,976 --> 01:09:09,145 I just need to wash my hands first. 1581 01:09:16,052 --> 01:09:18,421 Is Chris here? 1582 01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:21,424 You told me to come here. 1583 01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:23,226 Is he in the bathroom? 1584 01:09:23,226 --> 01:09:24,927 Mary, 1585 01:09:26,429 --> 01:09:28,297 Chris is a good man 1586 01:09:28,297 --> 01:09:31,100 and you are a nice lady. 1587 01:09:31,100 --> 01:09:33,736 I think you know what you have to do to win him back. 1588 01:09:35,905 --> 01:09:38,174 You're right. 1589 01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:40,977 I came here a career woman, 1590 01:09:42,078 --> 01:09:45,248 but to be with Chris, I need to be 1591 01:09:46,282 --> 01:09:49,185 a career man? 1592 01:09:49,786 --> 01:09:51,654 Close. 1593 01:09:51,654 --> 01:09:54,590 You see, Mary, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Presents. 1594 01:09:55,091 --> 01:09:56,993 And what did you say yesterday in the recently 1595 01:09:56,993 --> 01:09:58,127 previous present? 1596 01:09:58,127 --> 01:09:59,128 The past? 1597 01:10:01,264 --> 01:10:04,333 Well, I told Chris that in this town 1598 01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:06,536 what matters is love. 1599 01:10:07,937 --> 01:10:10,273 And he said, "It's about family." 1600 01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:14,444 Family and love. 1601 01:10:14,444 --> 01:10:16,379 Of course! 1602 01:10:16,379 --> 01:10:17,980 That's where he'll be! 1603 01:10:24,053 --> 01:10:26,856 [Authuh grunting in distance] 1604 01:10:30,159 --> 01:10:33,062 [taking deep breaths] 1605 01:10:42,738 --> 01:10:43,673 [Chris] Hey, how's it goin', buddy? 1606 01:10:44,507 --> 01:10:45,308 Thank the jester you've arrived. 1607 01:10:45,842 --> 01:10:48,478 I'm about to go back to my hometown any moment now. 1608 01:10:48,478 --> 01:10:50,646 I can feel myself piercing through the time plane 1609 01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:53,516 like a dog's peen emerging from the scabbard like a drenched-- 1610 01:10:53,516 --> 01:10:56,419 [grunting] 1611 01:11:00,890 --> 01:11:02,325 Okay, well, good luck. 1612 01:11:02,525 --> 01:11:03,659 I gotta go find Keith and-- 1613 01:11:03,659 --> 01:11:04,560 [Authuh] Sir Chris! 1614 01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:06,095 I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future. 1615 01:11:06,562 --> 01:11:07,930 What, why? 1616 01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:10,166 Aren't you supposed to be from the past? 1617 01:11:10,166 --> 01:11:13,002 Yes, but I'm-- I'm currently in your present. 1618 01:11:13,002 --> 01:11:14,704 Then why aren't you the Ghost of Christmas Present? 1619 01:11:14,704 --> 01:11:17,840 Uh, because your present is my future. 1620 01:11:18,107 --> 01:11:20,176 It's the future for me. 1621 01:11:20,176 --> 01:11:22,411 Therefore, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future. 1622 01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:25,181 Oh, don't worry about it. 1623 01:11:25,181 --> 01:11:27,049 Authuh, I gotta go, okay? 1624 01:11:27,049 --> 01:11:28,851 [Authuh] Uh, wait! 1625 01:11:28,851 --> 01:11:31,454 When I came here, I had no one. 1626 01:11:32,889 --> 01:11:35,758 But your brother, Sir Keith, 1627 01:11:36,259 --> 01:11:39,362 he gave me a place to stay when no one else would, 1628 01:11:39,362 --> 01:11:41,864 because he is a good man 1629 01:11:41,864 --> 01:11:43,533 who has the warmth of the Christmas spirit 1630 01:11:43,533 --> 01:11:46,369 burning deep in the hearth of his heart. 1631 01:11:46,369 --> 01:11:49,071 You have that spirit, too. 1632 01:11:49,071 --> 01:11:50,306 I've seen it. 1633 01:11:50,540 --> 01:11:53,409 I know you maybe more of a grower than a shower, 1634 01:11:53,409 --> 01:11:56,245 when you let it to grow, it does. 1635 01:11:57,747 --> 01:12:01,284 All big and pointing proudly to the sky, 1636 01:12:02,051 --> 01:12:04,287 defying the witch's heavy air. 1637 01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:05,888 Gravity? 1638 01:12:05,888 --> 01:12:07,323 No. No! 1639 01:12:07,723 --> 01:12:09,091 It's Authuh! 1640 01:12:09,959 --> 01:12:11,227 No, gravity. 1641 01:12:11,227 --> 01:12:13,896 Like falling in. 1642 01:12:13,896 --> 01:12:15,598 [sighing] 1643 01:12:18,267 --> 01:12:21,237 You're here to help me learn how to accept 1644 01:12:21,237 --> 01:12:23,072 people into my heart. 1645 01:12:23,272 --> 01:12:24,440 [chuckling] 1646 01:12:25,308 --> 01:12:27,076 How to believe them. 1647 01:12:27,076 --> 01:12:27,977 How to-- 1648 01:12:29,245 --> 01:12:32,315 How to let in Christmas cheer. 1649 01:12:32,315 --> 01:12:35,418 And how to accept kindness from others 1650 01:12:35,851 --> 01:12:36,852 and how to-- 1651 01:12:37,253 --> 01:12:39,422 And how to allow myself 1652 01:12:39,422 --> 01:12:43,426 to fall in love. 1653 01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:46,529 Chris. 1654 01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:47,630 What a beautiful lesson. 1655 01:12:49,799 --> 01:12:52,702 [laughing] 1656 01:12:57,607 --> 01:12:59,842 [grunting] 1657 01:13:01,110 --> 01:13:02,778 -Authuh, Authuh. -Oh, oh, oh. 1658 01:13:02,778 --> 01:13:03,846 Thank you. 1659 01:13:04,347 --> 01:13:05,114 [kissing] 1660 01:13:07,149 --> 01:13:09,185 If I leave now, I can still make it in time for the 1661 01:13:09,185 --> 01:13:11,287 annual Christmas Eve bake sale fundraiser 1662 01:13:11,287 --> 01:13:13,723 carolling competition time capsule opening 1663 01:13:14,290 --> 01:13:16,459 tradition snow globe building competition 1664 01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:18,327 wish making tradition. 1665 01:13:18,327 --> 01:13:19,528 Well, now, I'll be a bit late, but-- 1666 01:13:20,696 --> 01:13:21,497 Oh, well. 1667 01:13:23,332 --> 01:13:24,900 Don't thank me. 1668 01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:26,836 I was just uh, trying to tell you that 1669 01:13:27,036 --> 01:13:29,472 you should allow Keith and Mary to raise enough shillings 1670 01:13:30,973 --> 01:13:34,143 to save your brown water shop. 1671 01:13:34,810 --> 01:13:36,145 I'm comin', Mary! 1672 01:13:38,814 --> 01:13:41,684 As a rich prince, I understand that wealth 1673 01:13:43,586 --> 01:13:45,988 truly is the 1674 01:13:45,988 --> 01:13:48,758 purest form of happiness. 1675 01:13:56,165 --> 01:13:58,334 Have I been misinterpreting Christmas 1676 01:13:58,334 --> 01:14:00,503 this entire time? 1677 01:14:10,346 --> 01:14:11,347 -[Mary] Keith. -Oh! 1678 01:14:11,347 --> 01:14:12,615 Have you see Chris? 1679 01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:15,184 Oh, Mary, he's gone. 1680 01:14:15,184 --> 01:14:15,951 He's dead? 1681 01:14:15,951 --> 01:14:17,253 No, he left! 1682 01:14:17,253 --> 01:14:18,354 He left town? 1683 01:14:18,354 --> 01:14:20,022 No, he's at the Christmas Eve fundraiser. 1684 01:14:20,022 --> 01:14:21,190 I just saw him leave. 1685 01:14:21,190 --> 01:14:23,859 If we leave right now, we can still make it. 1686 01:14:23,859 --> 01:14:24,727 We can make it? 1687 01:14:24,727 --> 01:14:25,861 Yeah, if we leave like-- 1688 01:14:25,861 --> 01:14:28,097 -For the fundraiser? -Yes. 1689 01:14:28,097 --> 01:14:29,198 -Come on, let's go. -Yeah. 1690 01:14:30,933 --> 01:14:33,602 I just ran here from town to-- 1691 01:14:33,602 --> 01:14:35,438 Do you think we have time to call a cab-- 1692 01:14:37,206 --> 01:14:38,441 Yeah, no, it's fine, we can run. 1693 01:14:39,542 --> 01:14:41,977 [♪♪♪] 1694 01:15:07,236 --> 01:15:10,072 [♪♪♪] 1695 01:15:10,606 --> 01:15:12,441 Oh. 1696 01:15:16,345 --> 01:15:18,114 [♪♪♪] 1697 01:15:34,497 --> 01:15:36,198 There's no time. 1698 01:15:39,301 --> 01:15:40,269 Get out of here. 1699 01:15:40,269 --> 01:15:41,771 Run! 1700 01:15:41,771 --> 01:15:44,006 We have important things to do! 1701 01:15:44,006 --> 01:15:45,608 Get away from the car, ma'am! 1702 01:15:45,608 --> 01:15:46,876 [Mary] Keith, tell me where I'm going. 1703 01:15:47,443 --> 01:15:48,544 [Keith] Go straight ahead. 1704 01:15:48,811 --> 01:15:50,946 Just keep goin' straight. 1705 01:15:50,946 --> 01:15:52,848 And then you're gonna go straight again. 1706 01:15:52,848 --> 01:15:54,216 And then you're gonna go straight. 1707 01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:57,052 Oh, this isn't the Snowy Heights I grew up in. 1708 01:15:57,620 --> 01:15:59,855 And then hang on straight left. 1709 01:16:00,556 --> 01:16:02,124 In a different state! 1710 01:16:02,124 --> 01:16:03,225 And sharp straight! 1711 01:16:03,225 --> 01:16:04,160 Hey! 1712 01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:05,961 Keep it down back there. 1713 01:16:06,295 --> 01:16:09,198 I will turn 1714 01:16:09,198 --> 01:16:11,867 this vehicle around. 1715 01:16:11,867 --> 01:16:14,036 Lady, would you back up the car, please? 1716 01:16:14,036 --> 01:16:15,471 [Keith] Keep backing, keep go-- 1717 01:16:15,471 --> 01:16:18,641 [Keith screaming] 1718 01:16:22,311 --> 01:16:23,846 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 1719 01:16:24,146 --> 01:16:25,481 Oh, no. 1720 01:16:25,481 --> 01:16:27,550 Oh my, no way. 1721 01:16:27,550 --> 01:16:29,418 Are you okay? 1722 01:16:32,655 --> 01:16:33,489 Mary. 1723 01:16:33,489 --> 01:16:35,090 It's okay. 1724 01:16:35,090 --> 01:16:36,759 You just go on without me. 1725 01:16:36,759 --> 01:16:38,327 [taking deep breaths] 1726 01:16:38,327 --> 01:16:39,995 O-- okay, okay. 1727 01:16:40,830 --> 01:16:43,566 [grunting] 1728 01:16:44,533 --> 01:16:46,702 It's what Grandma Coco would have wanted. 1729 01:16:47,203 --> 01:16:49,405 She wanted me to leave you to die in a parking lot? 1730 01:16:49,405 --> 01:16:51,907 Just go. 1731 01:16:51,907 --> 01:16:53,776 I'll never forget you, Carl. 1732 01:16:55,211 --> 01:16:56,512 It's Keith. 1733 01:17:01,684 --> 01:17:03,752 I'll never forget you, Carl. 1734 01:17:04,019 --> 01:17:08,958 [choir] ♪ Silent night 1735 01:17:09,225 --> 01:17:14,363 ♪ Silent night 1736 01:17:14,597 --> 01:17:25,875 ♪ Silent night 1737 01:17:25,875 --> 01:17:31,480 [choir] ♪ Silent night 1738 01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:56,071 ♪ Silent night 1739 01:17:56,071 --> 01:18:01,577 [choir] ♪ Silent night 1740 01:18:06,949 --> 01:18:09,685 Mary? 1741 01:18:09,685 --> 01:18:11,954 Mary. 1742 01:18:11,954 --> 01:18:13,455 Mary? 1743 01:18:13,455 --> 01:18:16,759 [choir] ♪ Night 1744 01:18:17,359 --> 01:18:18,127 Oh. 1745 01:18:20,629 --> 01:18:23,666 [shushing] 1746 01:18:23,999 --> 01:18:28,137 ♪ Cocoflaps, Cocoflaps, Coco, Cocoflaps ♪ 1747 01:18:28,604 --> 01:18:31,006 ♪ Ooh, Cocoflaps, oh, the Cocoflaps ♪ 1748 01:18:31,006 --> 01:18:32,942 ♪ Oh, the Coco, Cocoflaps ♪ 1749 01:18:38,180 --> 01:18:40,115 You're not welcome here, Xbox. 1750 01:18:40,115 --> 01:18:40,783 Yeah? 1751 01:18:41,116 --> 01:18:43,552 You can say that about anywhere, 1752 01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:46,121 including my Mom's house on Tuesday nights. 1753 01:18:46,121 --> 01:18:48,123 She has her friends over. 1754 01:18:48,123 --> 01:18:50,859 And I sued her, we don't get along. 1755 01:18:50,859 --> 01:18:53,729 I even sided with my dad in the custody battle 1756 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:56,799 and I never even met him. 1757 01:18:56,799 --> 01:18:59,735 The judge said I was the most offensive 1758 01:18:59,735 --> 01:19:01,704 toddler of all time. 1759 01:19:03,706 --> 01:19:05,240 And that's another place I'm not allowed. 1760 01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:07,176 That judge's courtroom! 1761 01:19:07,176 --> 01:19:09,478 -And another-- -What are you doin' here, man? 1762 01:19:10,679 --> 01:19:13,349 Well, I heard about your pathetic last-ditch efforts 1763 01:19:13,349 --> 01:19:15,851 to save Cup of Cheer. 1764 01:19:16,185 --> 01:19:19,088 I mean not to be a party pooper or anything, but uh, 1765 01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:22,658 I've been savin' up the biggest Christmas stinky of all time. 1766 01:19:23,993 --> 01:19:26,095 Sabotage. 1767 01:19:27,396 --> 01:19:28,397 How? 1768 01:19:28,597 --> 01:19:31,166 With sabotage. 1769 01:19:31,166 --> 01:19:33,235 I mean gay tidings you my bromo, but I'm gonna-- 1770 01:19:33,235 --> 01:19:34,036 [Mary] Wait! 1771 01:19:39,408 --> 01:19:40,876 Wait. 1772 01:19:40,876 --> 01:19:43,278 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you wait. 1773 01:19:43,278 --> 01:19:45,581 I was just about to tell him to suck my bum! 1774 01:19:45,581 --> 01:19:46,915 No, you wait! 1775 01:19:50,619 --> 01:19:53,188 Mary here was talking. 1776 01:19:53,188 --> 01:19:54,223 [Keith] Wait. 1777 01:19:54,223 --> 01:19:56,191 [gasping] 1778 01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:04,900 Why do you look so surprised? 1779 01:20:04,900 --> 01:20:06,201 I thought he was dead. 1780 01:20:06,201 --> 01:20:07,302 What? 1781 01:20:07,302 --> 01:20:08,537 She just left me there. 1782 01:20:08,537 --> 01:20:10,072 The fundraiser was more important. 1783 01:20:10,706 --> 01:20:12,041 Oh, yeah. 1784 01:20:15,210 --> 01:20:17,146 Okay. 1785 01:20:17,146 --> 01:20:19,915 I have learned something since I've been in this town. 1786 01:20:25,254 --> 01:20:28,123 [indistinct whispering] 1787 01:20:28,424 --> 01:20:29,124 [clears throat] 1788 01:20:29,124 --> 01:20:32,094 Anyways. 1789 01:20:32,327 --> 01:20:34,997 The lesson I've learned is this. 1790 01:20:34,997 --> 01:20:37,900 This Christmas, we should all share 1791 01:20:38,233 --> 01:20:39,935 a Cup of Cheer. 1792 01:20:41,770 --> 01:20:44,073 Mary, please, like I'm gonna drink this trash. 1793 01:20:44,573 --> 01:20:46,742 Oh, so you don't like hot cocoa? 1794 01:20:46,742 --> 01:20:48,010 Anyone who drinks hot cocoa is a-- 1795 01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:49,178 Go on. 1796 01:20:49,411 --> 01:20:51,680 This 2002 camcorder is live streaming 1797 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,148 to the entire planet. 1798 01:20:53,148 --> 01:20:55,250 I'm sure the people of the internet would love to know 1799 01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:58,253 why a big shot Cocoflaps franchise owner with over 1800 01:20:58,253 --> 01:21:00,689 one location in the tri-state area doesn't 1801 01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:02,424 like hot cocoa. 1802 01:21:02,424 --> 01:21:03,525 I love hot cocoa. 1803 01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:04,660 I drink hot cocoa all the time. 1804 01:21:04,660 --> 01:21:07,930 So hot and um-- 1805 01:21:09,598 --> 01:21:10,532 Crunchy. 1806 01:21:12,267 --> 01:21:14,470 Hmm, that's-- 1807 01:21:14,470 --> 01:21:16,138 Sip. 1808 01:21:16,538 --> 01:21:17,206 Sip. 1809 01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:18,440 Sip. 1810 01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:20,876 Sip, sip, sip. 1811 01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:23,445 Sip, sip, sip, sip-- 1812 01:21:24,012 --> 01:21:24,613 Yep-- 1813 01:21:24,613 --> 01:21:25,314 Sip. 1814 01:21:25,314 --> 01:21:26,281 Sip it! 1815 01:21:26,482 --> 01:21:27,716 Sip, sip-- 1816 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,151 -Sip. -Sip, sip. 1817 01:21:29,785 --> 01:21:30,519 Go on! 1818 01:21:30,519 --> 01:21:31,386 [yelling] 1819 01:21:31,386 --> 01:21:32,688 Sip, sip on! 1820 01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:33,856 [grunting] 1821 01:21:34,356 --> 01:21:36,058 What? 1822 01:21:36,325 --> 01:21:38,460 [takes a deep breath] 1823 01:21:38,460 --> 01:21:39,461 Sip. 1824 01:21:40,395 --> 01:21:41,830 What happened? 1825 01:21:43,665 --> 01:21:46,001 I've been running around trying to tell you. 1826 01:21:46,001 --> 01:21:47,069 Tell me what? 1827 01:21:47,536 --> 01:21:48,737 Tell me, what? 1828 01:21:48,737 --> 01:21:50,139 The secret ingredient. 1829 01:21:50,139 --> 01:21:51,306 He was allergic to cinnamon. 1830 01:21:51,306 --> 01:21:53,642 -It was deadly. -Yeah? 1831 01:21:53,842 --> 01:21:56,879 Um, he's like actually dead. 1832 01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,715 But how did you know about the cinnamon? 1833 01:22:00,182 --> 01:22:02,050 It was at the diner when I found out he was allergic 1834 01:22:02,050 --> 01:22:03,318 to cinnamon that I knew. 1835 01:22:03,318 --> 01:22:05,087 Oh, Mary, I-- 1836 01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:06,722 [Sheriff Rudolph] Hold it. 1837 01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:12,427 This man's under arrest for crimes against humanity. 1838 01:22:15,063 --> 01:22:18,033 -Deputy, help me out. -Right. 1839 01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,570 You got the right to remain silent. 1840 01:22:21,570 --> 01:22:23,005 Anything-- hello? 1841 01:22:23,539 --> 01:22:25,007 Ain't gonna talk to me, hmm? 1842 01:22:30,579 --> 01:22:31,547 [Mrs. Clovenwitch] Nobody move! 1843 01:22:36,518 --> 01:22:38,220 Who's that? 1844 01:22:38,220 --> 01:22:39,688 That's Mort Clomppingbats. 1845 01:22:39,688 --> 01:22:41,557 Uh, no, the girl. 1846 01:22:41,557 --> 01:22:42,925 Is that our niece? 1847 01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:44,860 I found your niece for you. 1848 01:22:44,860 --> 01:22:45,861 No charge. 1849 01:22:45,861 --> 01:22:47,462 That isn't her, is it? 1850 01:22:47,696 --> 01:22:50,232 - No, seems about right. - Yeah 1851 01:22:51,133 --> 01:22:52,301 [chuckles] 1852 01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:54,703 Hey, thank you, Mrs.-- golly, you know? 1853 01:22:54,703 --> 01:22:56,371 I don't think I know your first name. 1854 01:22:56,371 --> 01:22:58,640 It's Eve. 1855 01:22:58,874 --> 01:23:01,743 Mary, Chris Mas, Eve, Keith. 1856 01:23:02,544 --> 01:23:04,913 Oh, I'm sorry. 1857 01:23:05,113 --> 01:23:06,782 One more thing. 1858 01:23:08,283 --> 01:23:09,585 Officer Rudolph! 1859 01:23:11,553 --> 01:23:14,156 Lady Hammerdoodle here told me that she used to 1860 01:23:14,156 --> 01:23:15,624 kidnap children. 1861 01:23:15,624 --> 01:23:17,993 She's also severely racist. 1862 01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:19,328 Arrest her. 1863 01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:21,230 I'll be happy to. 1864 01:23:21,230 --> 01:23:22,598 And the evidence is concrete. 1865 01:23:24,299 --> 01:23:25,801 Alright, come on. Let's go. 1866 01:23:25,801 --> 01:23:27,002 Mary. 1867 01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:29,438 Mary, how could you do this to me? 1868 01:23:29,438 --> 01:23:30,939 [Sheriff Rudolph] Come on, let's go. 1869 01:23:33,108 --> 01:23:35,410 What a crazy Christmas Eve! 1870 01:23:35,410 --> 01:23:36,245 Don't say that name ever again. 1871 01:23:36,245 --> 01:23:38,080 Okay. 1872 01:23:38,413 --> 01:23:40,616 -Mary, I-- -Chris, I-- 1873 01:23:40,616 --> 01:23:42,351 I love you, okay? 1874 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:43,919 I love the way your name is Chris Mas. 1875 01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:52,995 Yeah, okay. 1876 01:23:54,796 --> 01:23:56,431 I love you, too. 1877 01:23:56,431 --> 01:23:57,132 Thanks. 1878 01:23:57,132 --> 01:23:58,500 Yeah. 1879 01:23:58,500 --> 01:23:59,935 I mean I'm sure there's other things I love about you 1880 01:23:59,935 --> 01:24:01,603 I just haven't found out yet. 1881 01:24:01,603 --> 01:24:04,439 We just met three days ago. 1882 01:24:04,973 --> 01:24:06,508 Mary. 1883 01:24:06,508 --> 01:24:08,176 Chris. 1884 01:24:08,176 --> 01:24:09,678 -Mas. -Mas. 1885 01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:12,447 Merry Christmas! 1886 01:24:14,883 --> 01:24:17,853 [blowing air] 1887 01:24:19,454 --> 01:24:21,790 [♪♪♪] 1888 01:24:28,463 --> 01:24:31,466 [grunting] 1889 01:24:32,467 --> 01:24:35,170 [♪♪♪] 1890 01:24:42,311 --> 01:24:44,346 Oh. 1891 01:24:44,346 --> 01:24:47,215 [chuckling] 1892 01:24:47,215 --> 01:24:50,018 Well, let's sell some gingerbread cookies 1893 01:24:50,819 --> 01:24:53,322 and save Cup of Cheer! 1894 01:24:53,755 --> 01:24:55,557 [cheering] 1895 01:24:56,992 --> 01:24:58,260 Woo. 1896 01:24:59,161 --> 01:25:01,396 - Wait, whose gingerbread cookies are you selling? 1897 01:25:01,596 --> 01:25:03,432 I've got the cookies here. 1898 01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:07,836 Oh, um-- 1899 01:25:08,603 --> 01:25:11,073 Are those my cookies for the orphanage? 1900 01:25:12,507 --> 01:25:14,242 These are your cookies. 1901 01:25:17,913 --> 01:25:19,181 They're orphans, though. 1902 01:25:19,181 --> 01:25:21,116 They'll be grateful anyways, right? 1903 01:25:21,516 --> 01:25:23,285 Yeah, yeah. 1904 01:25:25,220 --> 01:25:27,255 [indistinct speech] 1905 01:25:28,357 --> 01:25:30,125 [laughing] 1906 01:25:31,026 --> 01:25:32,194 So that's stupid. 1907 01:25:32,194 --> 01:25:33,061 You're so stupid. 1908 01:25:34,596 --> 01:25:35,764 This is so nice. 1909 01:25:35,764 --> 01:25:36,365 Thank you so-- 1910 01:25:36,365 --> 01:25:38,700 Thank you so much. 1911 01:25:39,701 --> 01:25:42,637 [crunching] 1912 01:25:44,573 --> 01:25:46,608 [chuckling] 1913 01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,745 [♪♪♪] 1914 01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,418 [indistinct speech] 1915 01:25:56,418 --> 01:25:58,286 -it's okay. -Yeah. 1916 01:25:58,286 --> 01:26:00,088 Okay, yeah, okay. 1917 01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:04,059 Is this gluten-free? 1918 01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:06,228 No, it's $5. 1919 01:26:10,065 --> 01:26:11,600 [Chris] 2-- 2,615. 1920 01:26:11,600 --> 01:26:13,335 -2,620. -2,330. 1921 01:26:13,568 --> 01:26:14,836 6,220. 2,340. 1922 01:26:14,836 --> 01:26:17,506 2,300 something. 1923 01:26:17,506 --> 01:26:19,841 Did we do it? Did we make enough? 1924 01:26:21,176 --> 01:26:23,078 No. 1925 01:26:23,078 --> 01:26:25,847 -We're $5 shor-- -$5 short. 1926 01:26:25,847 --> 01:26:27,249 I knew that, too. 1927 01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:32,454 Well, I guess this is it, guys. 1928 01:26:34,423 --> 01:26:35,757 It's over. 1929 01:26:38,960 --> 01:26:40,195 Chris. 1930 01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:42,631 Keith, Hang on. 1931 01:26:45,767 --> 01:26:48,637 [Mary screaming in distance] 1932 01:26:58,847 --> 01:26:59,815 So... 1933 01:26:59,815 --> 01:27:02,984 Uh, so which big city is Mary from? 1934 01:27:05,053 --> 01:27:07,989 [screaming] 1935 01:27:08,223 --> 01:27:10,525 [♪♪♪] 1936 01:27:18,533 --> 01:27:20,001 [clears throat] 1937 01:27:20,001 --> 01:27:20,635 Fuck. 1938 01:27:20,635 --> 01:27:22,471 [screaming] 1939 01:27:25,140 --> 01:27:26,508 [takes a deep breath] 1940 01:27:27,309 --> 01:27:29,478 Goodbye, Santa Dog. 1941 01:27:29,811 --> 01:27:32,481 Be a good boy. 1942 01:27:32,481 --> 01:27:33,482 Guys, it's not over. 1943 01:27:36,751 --> 01:27:37,686 It's not? 1944 01:27:38,086 --> 01:27:41,490 I'm going to sell my most beloved possession 1945 01:27:41,490 --> 01:27:43,158 to help all of us, 1946 01:27:43,158 --> 01:27:45,093 to save Cup of Cheer. 1947 01:27:46,161 --> 01:27:47,496 [♪♪♪] 1948 01:27:54,870 --> 01:27:56,605 How much for the fluffy toad? 1949 01:27:57,372 --> 01:27:59,241 This is Santa Dog. 1950 01:27:59,241 --> 01:28:02,611 He is my best friend ever and he's looking for a new home-- 1951 01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:04,012 -$5. -Okay. 1952 01:28:07,849 --> 01:28:10,252 -Mary, you did it! -Yeah. 1953 01:28:10,252 --> 01:28:12,854 You saved Cup of Cheer and you saved Christmas. 1954 01:28:13,955 --> 01:28:15,891 [Mary] And we learned about Christmas cheer. 1955 01:28:17,459 --> 01:28:19,528 And finding love, and making new friends. 1956 01:28:21,229 --> 01:28:23,398 And most importantly, we learnt that small towns 1957 01:28:23,398 --> 01:28:26,134 are way better than big cities. 1958 01:28:26,434 --> 01:28:28,370 And that's what Christmas is all about. 1959 01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:33,208 Hey, where did our niece go? 1960 01:28:34,543 --> 01:28:37,045 Hmm. 1961 01:28:37,045 --> 01:28:38,647 Come on, guys. 1962 01:28:38,647 --> 01:28:39,881 Let's go home. 1963 01:28:44,719 --> 01:28:47,956 [♪♪♪] 1964 01:29:01,236 --> 01:29:03,672 [♪♪♪] 1965 01:29:16,918 --> 01:29:18,653 What are all these presents? 1966 01:29:20,589 --> 01:29:22,324 There's-- oh, uh, huh. 1967 01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:24,960 There's only one man who could've done this. 1968 01:29:26,161 --> 01:29:28,330 Santa. 1969 01:29:28,330 --> 01:29:30,465 From the bar. 1970 01:29:35,437 --> 01:29:38,373 [grunting] 1971 01:29:39,441 --> 01:29:42,344 [chuckling] 1972 01:29:42,644 --> 01:29:44,546 Merry Christmas, one and all. 1973 01:29:45,680 --> 01:29:46,681 - Oh my God. 1974 01:29:46,681 --> 01:29:47,949 Authuh, you're back. 1975 01:29:48,683 --> 01:29:50,318 Are we sure he even left? 1976 01:29:50,719 --> 01:29:53,555 Uh, I have indeed returned. 1977 01:29:55,457 --> 01:29:58,126 I after spending a night in my own era, 1978 01:29:58,126 --> 01:30:00,962 in my castle, I realized something. 1979 01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:04,466 Uh, Sir Chris was right. 1980 01:30:06,801 --> 01:30:09,137 Christmas is truly all about 1981 01:30:09,137 --> 01:30:12,040 falling in love. 1982 01:30:12,040 --> 01:30:13,875 So, Sir Keith, 1983 01:30:16,177 --> 01:30:18,813 I came back for you, Keith. 1984 01:30:21,049 --> 01:30:24,152 That was my quest all along. 1985 01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:25,987 You. 1986 01:30:25,987 --> 01:30:28,523 Oh, me? Huh? 1987 01:30:28,523 --> 01:30:31,159 [chuckling] 1988 01:30:31,159 --> 01:30:34,329 I love you, Sir Keith. 1989 01:30:34,863 --> 01:30:35,830 Okay. Yes. 1990 01:30:36,831 --> 01:30:38,867 A million times yes. 1991 01:30:40,068 --> 01:30:41,036 Neat. 1992 01:30:41,770 --> 01:30:44,873 So we're in love then? 1993 01:30:44,873 --> 01:30:45,907 Sure. 1994 01:30:45,907 --> 01:30:47,842 -Authuh, uh,-- -[Authuh] Uh, yeah. 1995 01:30:47,842 --> 01:30:49,377 You sure you didn't come back for me? 1996 01:30:49,711 --> 01:30:52,280 [Authuh] Oh, Sir Chris. 1997 01:30:53,081 --> 01:30:54,849 You're my best friend. 1998 01:30:59,120 --> 01:31:00,955 Oh, shall we open presents? 1999 01:31:00,955 --> 01:31:02,424 Me first. 2000 01:31:05,093 --> 01:31:06,795 [chuckling] 2001 01:31:09,197 --> 01:31:10,398 [gasping] 2002 01:31:10,398 --> 01:31:12,734 Santa knew. 2003 01:31:12,734 --> 01:31:14,536 He really knew. 2004 01:31:18,206 --> 01:31:20,141 And he has a baby! 2005 01:31:21,643 --> 01:31:23,044 -Aw! -Aw! 2006 01:31:25,980 --> 01:31:27,115 It's nice. 2007 01:31:27,749 --> 01:31:30,418 Oh, Mary, I uh, I meant to ask you. 2008 01:31:30,418 --> 01:31:32,053 How did the article go? 2009 01:31:35,790 --> 01:31:37,726 Shit! 2010 01:31:37,926 --> 01:31:39,227 Shit! 2011 01:31:39,728 --> 01:31:40,829 Fuck! 2012 01:31:40,829 --> 01:31:42,931 Shit! 2013 01:31:47,235 --> 01:31:49,571 ♪ When the snow falls, baby 2014 01:31:49,571 --> 01:31:54,342 ♪ I will run to you 2015 01:31:54,342 --> 01:31:58,513 ♪ Sweater paws, it's cold outside ♪ 2016 01:31:58,513 --> 01:32:01,583 ♪ And I'm feelin' blue 2017 01:32:01,583 --> 01:32:04,252 ♪ These winds are mine 2018 01:32:04,252 --> 01:32:08,156 ♪ So I need a thing or two 2019 01:32:08,156 --> 01:32:12,260 ♪ And I don't want another Christmas ♪ 2020 01:32:12,260 --> 01:32:16,431 ♪ Without you 2021 01:32:16,431 --> 01:32:19,601 ♪ Merry Christmas 2022 01:32:19,601 --> 01:32:23,605 ♪ And a Happy New Year 2023 01:32:23,605 --> 01:32:26,708 ♪ I always wish that 2024 01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:31,346 ♪ I could change the past year 2025 01:32:31,346 --> 01:32:34,349 ♪ Put words together 2026 01:32:34,349 --> 01:32:40,622 ♪ And the weather's better out here ♪ 2027 01:32:40,622 --> 01:32:44,726 ♪ When the snow falls 2028 01:32:44,726 --> 01:32:49,731 ♪ I'll run to you 2029 01:32:49,731 --> 01:32:52,300 ♪ When the snow falls 2030 01:32:52,300 --> 01:32:56,037 ♪ Maybe I will fall for you 2031 01:32:56,037 --> 01:32:59,641 ♪ So many thousand cold, cold hearts ♪ 2032 01:32:59,641 --> 01:33:01,576 ♪ There is love outside 2033 01:33:01,576 --> 01:33:04,412 ♪ Do you feel it, too 2034 01:33:04,412 --> 01:33:07,148 ♪ These last few lines 2035 01:33:07,148 --> 01:33:10,685 ♪ I need a thing or two 2036 01:33:10,685 --> 01:33:13,054 ♪ That every Christmas 2037 01:33:13,054 --> 01:33:17,592 ♪ I'll be thinkin' about you 2038 01:33:17,592 --> 01:33:19,427 ♪ Thinkin' about you 2039 01:33:19,427 --> 01:33:22,063 ♪ Merry Christmas 2040 01:33:22,063 --> 01:33:26,401 ♪ And a Happy New Year 2041 01:33:26,401 --> 01:33:29,671 ♪ I always wish that 2042 01:33:29,671 --> 01:33:34,075 ♪ I could change the past year 2043 01:33:34,075 --> 01:33:37,178 ♪ Put words together 2044 01:33:37,178 --> 01:33:43,451 ♪ And the weather's better out here ♪ 2045 01:33:43,451 --> 01:33:47,622 ♪ When the snow falls 2046 01:33:47,622 --> 01:33:49,757 ♪ I'll run to you 2047 01:33:49,757 --> 01:33:52,627 ♪ When the snow falls 2048 01:33:52,627 --> 01:33:55,096 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 2049 01:33:55,096 --> 01:33:57,131 ♪ I'll run to you 2050 01:33:57,131 --> 01:34:00,101 ♪ When the snow falls 2051 01:34:00,101 --> 01:34:02,537 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 2052 01:34:02,537 --> 01:34:03,872 ♪ I'll run to you 2053 01:34:03,872 --> 01:34:07,575 ♪ When the snow falls 2054 01:34:07,575 --> 01:34:09,711 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 2055 01:34:09,711 --> 01:34:11,479 ♪ I'll run to you 2056 01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:17,218 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 2057 01:34:17,218 --> 01:34:18,553 ♪ I'll run to you 2058 01:34:18,553 --> 01:34:21,589 ♪ Merry Christmas 2059 01:34:21,589 --> 01:34:25,493 ♪ And a Happy New Year 2060 01:34:25,493 --> 01:34:28,897 ♪ I always wish that 2061 01:34:28,897 --> 01:34:32,734 ♪ I could change the past year 2062 01:34:32,734 --> 01:34:36,237 ♪ Put words together 2063 01:34:36,237 --> 01:34:42,577 ♪ And the weather's better out here ♪ 2064 01:34:42,577 --> 01:34:46,748 ♪ When the snow falls 2065 01:34:46,748 --> 01:34:50,118 ♪ I'll run to you 139507