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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:01,752 MAN [ON COMPUTER]: Oh, my God... 2 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:07,257 ...it's full-on double rainbow all the way across the sky! 3 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,676 Whoa! 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,304 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 5 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:15,098 Oh! Oh, my God! 6 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,684 Whoo! 7 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,645 What does this mean? 8 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,398 It's so bright. 9 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,817 Oh, my God, it's so bright and vivid. 10 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,612 It's starting to look like a triple rainbow. 11 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,364 Oh! 12 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,160 Going streaking across the quad! 13 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,871 [MAN LAUGHING] 14 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,836 MAN: Coochie, coochie, coochie! 15 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,298 [GIRLS LAUGHING] 16 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,677 DAVID: Yeah. No, I know. Uh-huh. 17 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,304 No, I'm not. I'm not. No, I'm paying attention. 18 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,099 Mom, I'm listening. Just talk. 19 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,851 -Tyrone. -Are you going trick-or-treating? 20 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,562 -No, because-- -Pow! 21 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,651 [BUZZES] 22 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,595 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 23 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,722 [BABY SPITS UP] 24 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,850 [BABY CRYING] 25 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,732 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 26 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,962 I'm in the car. I'm literally in the car. 27 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,589 David, hey. David Clark. 28 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:11,840 Rick Nathanson. 29 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,719 -Uh, I'm sorry. -Little Ricky. We went to college together. 30 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,679 Oh, shit. Hey, dude. 31 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:21,266 We all took ecstasy at Dave Matthews one time and I tried to kiss you. 32 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,852 That's right. I remember that. Yeah. 33 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,270 Yeah. "Crash." 34 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:26,480 Yup. 35 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,608 Wow. I didn't recognize you. You look very different. 36 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,902 I've gained a little bit of daddy weight. 37 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,487 You know the drill. 38 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,238 Actually, I don't, no. 39 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:39,034 -No way. No way! Still a free agent. -Mm. 40 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:42,412 You son of a bitch! You lucky son of a bitch. 41 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:46,500 You lucky, lucky son of a bitch. Wow, that's amazing. Wow. 42 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,087 Here. For old times' sake, huh? 43 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,047 For daddy stress. 44 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,383 You're still dealing weed? 45 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,426 Best in Denver. 46 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,304 That's fucking awesome. Oh, my God. 47 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,473 That is so cool. 48 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,392 -You're still at it. -Yeah. 49 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,686 -I envy you, man. I do. -Ah. 50 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,522 Look at you. No wife, no kids. 51 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,107 -No responsibilities. -Mm-hm. 52 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,609 Pfft, nothing. You got nothing. 53 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,153 You could disappear tomorrow and who'd even know? 54 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:17,948 -Oh, what I wouldn't give. -Yeah. 55 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,409 Oh, hey, I didn't mean that in like, I mean-- 56 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,202 No. It's all right. It doesn't bother me. It's all right. 57 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,622 -Great seeing you. -Great seeing you. 58 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,416 Okay, bud, I believe in you. 59 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,418 -Hey, David? -Yeah? 60 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,295 -Facebook me. We'll get weird. -I don't think so. 61 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,298 -Ha, ha! Get out of here. -Good luck with the family. 62 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,967 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 63 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,844 Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck. Hey, great news. 64 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,971 We're gonna get high and fuck tonight. 65 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,390 I'm sorry, honey. Put Mommy on the phone, okay? 66 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,643 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 67 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,488 [NATALIA KILLS' "PROBLEM" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 68 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,367 I'm-a take my skirt, boot, rings All off 69 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,912 Skirt, boots, rings All off 70 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,166 Ooh, baby, you so bad, boy Drive me mad, boy 71 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,460 You don't care what they Say about me 72 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:15,380 Girl is a problem Girl is a problem, problem 73 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,848 Wow. 74 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,768 -You dance super good. -Thanks. 75 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,020 I'm Kymberly. With a Y. 76 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,271 [CHUCKLES] 77 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,523 I'm Rose. With an R. 78 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,859 Is that your stage name? 79 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,903 -My what? -Your stage name. 80 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,364 To protect yourself from the creeps out there. You should pick one. 81 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:46,453 You know, something simple but sexy and cute and short, maybe. 82 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,122 -Do you have a nickname? -Totally! 83 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,540 Great. Use that, because-- 84 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,751 I even got a tattoo of it. Do you wanna see? 85 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,960 Uh, well, n-- 86 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,378 KYMBERLY: Check it out. 87 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:59,132 ROSE: "Boner Garage." Oh, whoa. 88 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,092 You got a little arrow there even. 89 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,053 Is that not like the hottest? 90 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,263 Boner Garage, you're up. 91 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:09,601 Oh, look at that. So excited and full of life. That'll fade. 92 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:14,689 Hey, Rose. I know you're "technically" on break, but I need a lap dance. Table five. 93 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,734 Just don't get too close. The guy has two hook hands. 94 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:18,985 [SIGHS] 95 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,737 How did we let that guy back in here? 96 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,406 Must have picked the locks. Ha, ha! 97 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,497 [SIGHS] 98 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,936 How was work this evening? 99 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,229 ROSE: What do you care? 100 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,564 I'm just asking. 101 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,940 ROSE: Oh, just don't. 102 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,234 Fine. Well, is your dummy boyfriend around? 103 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,778 No. Jimmy's with his parents. Why? 104 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,781 Well, because Jimmy still owes me 400 bucks, so.... 105 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,450 Maybe you shouldn't loan drugs to people. 106 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,369 -All right. Good tip. -Mm-hm. 107 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,457 I was thinking is that maybe you could help him out, settle his debt. 108 00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:18,795 -Not a fucking chance. -You'd be doing me a solid, neighbor. 109 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,423 Oh, really? Neighbor? You're not a neighbor. 110 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,634 You're a drug dealer whose apartment smells like cheese and feet. 111 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,721 Mm. Yeah, it's a candle I got from Anthropologie. 112 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,765 Cheesy Feet. That's what they call it. It's a bestseller. 113 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,728 Oh, Rose, got a piece of your mail here. 114 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,815 I'd lend you some money, but we're not neighbors. 115 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,191 Oh, you're such a dick! 116 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,153 Have fun dying alone, jerk. 117 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,697 Have fun digging out the singles from your crotch. 118 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,616 ROSE: My crotch only takes 20s, David. 119 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,412 Hey, David. 120 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,625 -Hi, Kenny. -I heard you and Mrs. O'Reilly fighting. 121 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,836 It's called flirting, Kenny. You'll learn about it in college. 122 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:03,089 What are you doing up? It's almost 2. Where's your mom? 123 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:07,218 -Uh, she went for a drink. With a friend. -When? 124 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,304 Last week. 125 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,848 Uh, so I got the whole place to myself. 126 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,768 Yeah. Rolling Han Solo for the weekend. 127 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,937 DAVID: Mm-hm. 128 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,981 Um, speaking of rolling, I was wondering if-- 129 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,652 -I don't sell to kids, Kenny. -I'm 18. I'm gonna get my own place soon. 130 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:24,861 Not a kid, David. 131 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,031 Yeah, you are. Take care. 132 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,867 CASEY: Give me my fucking phone. 133 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,995 -You guys are such assholes. MAN 1: Hey, baby. 134 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,455 Leave her alone. 135 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,415 MAN 1: Oh, I'm sorry, baby. KENNY: Unhand her. 136 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,043 Hey, leave her alone. 137 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,628 [GRUNTS] 138 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,755 Goddamn it, Kenny. 139 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,924 -Fucking tough guy. Huh? MAN 2: You don't have to-- 140 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,258 DAVID: Hey! Hey, hey, hey. 141 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,761 Easy, easy. What's going on here? 142 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:54,015 -Mind your fucking business, old man. -Oh, my God. You're a dude. Ha, ha! 143 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:57,602 That scared me. Your voice was so much deeper than your bone structure. 144 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,813 These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone. 145 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,065 You have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless? 146 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,067 So? Fuck you, dude. 147 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,070 Okay, this was fun. Carry on. 148 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,863 -Come on, let's go. -What? No. 149 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,366 These guys are picking on her and it's not fair. 150 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,994 What you gonna do, white boy? You some type of hero? 151 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,620 Not a hero. He's a dumb kid. 152 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,708 I got an idea. Leave the girl alone. Just move along. Huh, what do you say? 153 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,126 -"Move along"? DAVID: Yeah. 154 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,796 -What are you, some kind of cop? -He's not a cop. He's actually really cool. 155 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,256 -Thanks. -He's a drug dealer. 156 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,591 -Really? -Goddamn it, Kenny. 157 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,010 Give me your backpack. 158 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,219 I don't wanna fight. 159 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,889 Well, there's not gonna be a fight. See, you either give me the backpack... 160 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,600 ...or I'm gonna stab you in the neck and take it. 161 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:38,977 [WHISTLES] 162 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,771 It's a real Sophie's choice here, huh? All right. 163 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,314 Okay, backpack it is. 164 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,566 If you wa-- 165 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,153 Run, Kenny! 166 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,573 MAN 1: You're dead meat! 167 00:08:56,411 --> 00:09:00,331 Hey, sorry, I dropped my phone. Are we still going out tonight or what? 168 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,710 Fucking shit! Shit! 169 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,254 [MAN 2 LAUGHS] 170 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,881 Oh, shit. 171 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,973 Sorry. This is fucking dumb. 172 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,895 [GROANS] 173 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,149 MAN 1: Whoa-ho-ho, motherfucker. 174 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,028 -We got you now. -Unh! 175 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:33,323 MAN 1: Do whatever's in the safe too. MAN 2: Look at that. 176 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,326 DAVID: It's not even my money. If you take that my boss will kill me. 177 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,413 KENNY: You okay, David? I can help. I'll call the cops. 178 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,998 No, I'm okay. 179 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,920 [CELL PHONE BUZZING] 180 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:58,848 DAVID: Hey! 181 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,309 Whoa, what the--! Unh! 182 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,478 MAN: When Mr. Brad calls, you answer! Get in there! 183 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:15,532 DAVID: Please don't tell me where we're going. I love surprises. 184 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,409 -All right. Okay. -Can I help you? 185 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,703 DAVID: Hi. You ordered two black guys. 186 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,872 Oh. Okay. This guy. 187 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,416 No. David Clark here to see Mr. Gurdlinger, please? 188 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,961 I'll tell him you're here. Can I get you something? 189 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,004 Coffee. Tea. Fresca. 190 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,214 DAVID: Hmm. 191 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,842 You know what, a Fresca sounds really good. 192 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,343 -You got it. DAVID: Appreciate it. 193 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:38,012 Hold on one second. You guys want anything? It's on me. 194 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,347 Replenishes electrolytes. 195 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,225 Don't want you cramping up when you jerk each other off. 196 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,476 Nice meeting you. 197 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,314 Easy. 198 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,400 Easy. Oof! 199 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,902 Okay. I'm gonna hang out here if that's all right. 200 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,155 Oh, thank you for that. That's very helpful. 201 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:58,116 Oh! David Clark. 202 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,286 You're a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic. 203 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,746 Whoa, Brad, what the fuck is this? 204 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:07,167 Look, man, I was gonna call you back. Do not kill me. 205 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,460 -I got robbed, okay. I swear. BRAD: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 206 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,795 What are you--? What--? 207 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,005 Oh, the plastic? 208 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,464 Yeah, the plastic. 209 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,716 I've seen Dexter. 210 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:19,470 Buddy, I'm putting in a new skylight, you idiot. Ha, ha. 211 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:23,057 You should have seen your face just now. You shit a brick. 212 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,393 Well, what am I supposed to think, man? 213 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,354 You've got these thugs throwing a bag over my head. Come on. 214 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,149 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to freak you out. 215 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,319 -It's fine. -You do know I've killed people though? 216 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,112 Yeah, Brad, I know. 217 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,488 Ha-ha. All right, have a seat. 218 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,658 DAVID: Whoa, what the fuck is that? 219 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:44,120 What? Oh, my orca? Yeah, I bought an orca. 220 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,538 [SIGHS] 221 00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:47,332 I make a lot of money. 222 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,001 DAVID: So you bought a whale? 223 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,710 Well, I don't like sports cars. 224 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,339 -Yeah, yeah. -So where's my money, David? 225 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:57,217 Come on, man. We go back. 226 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,385 We do go back. But it's not college anymore. 227 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,638 We're not selling lids out of my dorm room. 228 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,390 And you owe me $43,000. 229 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,602 I told you, I got robbed, Brad. They took everything I had, man. 230 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,897 This week's drop, 22 grand of my money that I'd saved. I'm fucked. 231 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:16,152 Listen, this is a fucked-up situation. But I might have a win-win for both of us. 232 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,489 -Great. -I have a smidge of very choice... 233 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,366 ...mari-ju-ana down in Mexico... 234 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,451 ...and I need it here by Sunday night. 235 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:26,496 My regular courier is out because he got gunned down. 236 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,914 That's where you come in. 237 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,749 You could be my mule. I need someone I can trust. 238 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,545 Go to Mexico, bring it back by Sunday night, not only will I forgive your debt... 239 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:39,133 ...I will pay you a standard courier fee of $100,000. 240 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,345 You're gonna give me 100 grand to move a smidge across the border? 241 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,473 Smidge and a half. It's nothing. 242 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,685 Dude, I got rolled by the fucking cast of Annie. 243 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,438 I come walking in here and you ask me to be an international drug dealer. 244 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,900 This is easy money, David. All you gotta do is pop down to Mexico... 245 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:59,570 ...go to this address, tell them you're there to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 246 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,864 -Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon? -I am. 247 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,909 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH THEN CHUCKLES] 248 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:08,787 You don't get respect from Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right? 249 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:13,501 I mean, that's white in any language. See? Big Bad Brad thought of everything. 250 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:20,091 I don't know. I don't think so, man. This is way out of my league. 251 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,718 It's a federal crime. 252 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,804 If I try to cross the border with more than a pound, you're talking like, um.... 253 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,059 Twenty-five years in Mexican prison. If you get a happy judge. 254 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,270 Yeah. Jeez. Not good. 255 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,981 -Although, you're forgetting one thing. -What? 256 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,525 You don't have a fucking choice. 257 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,489 KENNY: So now you're gonna become an even bigger drug dealer? 258 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,992 Drug smuggler, Kenny. There's a difference. 259 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,998 You're probably gonna get searched at the border. 260 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,751 No offense, you look like a total drug dealer. 261 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,587 -No shit. Thanks, dude. -You could wear a disguise. 262 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,630 -What? -A disguise. 263 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,507 That's what I thought. A disguise. 264 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,719 I dress up. What's the hot Halloween outfit these days? 265 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:07,638 Bane from Batman? Someone like that? Wear something over my face? 266 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,558 [AS BANE] There's no drugs in here. You've got nothing to worry about. 267 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,934 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Great idea. 268 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,561 [HORN HONKING] 269 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,356 Hey, pardon me. Hi. 270 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:21,194 Hate to bug you, but I'm trying to get the fam to the zoo and I'm lost as all heck. 271 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,904 Fuck off, real-life Flanders. 272 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:28,284 It's my fault. When it comes to reading maps, I sure can be an old flibbertigibbet. 273 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,786 [WOMAN CHUCKLES] 274 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,746 Hey. No parking here, sir. 275 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,456 Perfect. Fucking tourists. 276 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,084 Oh, jeez. I'm awful sorry, officer. 277 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,211 I don't know which way is up around here. 278 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,047 No problem. Our city can get confusing sometimes. 279 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,799 MAN: Trying to find our way to the zoo. 280 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,803 It's two blocks up that way, take a left, two blocks.... 281 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,851 Holy fucking shit. 282 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,188 Thank you, dickheads. 283 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,484 [OVER SPEAKERS] Hey little lady, don't you say maybe 284 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,570 Rose, the guy at the bar asked for you by name. 285 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,155 Treat him nice. 286 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,616 Baby, I'ma show you how to 287 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:09,867 MAN: Yeah! 288 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,953 Hi. I'm Rose. 289 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,748 -Hi. Hi. -What--? Oh, please. No. 290 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,000 -No, Rose. Hey, Rose, Rose. -No, no, no, no. 291 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,503 -Please. Listen to me. -Duh, duh, duh, duh. 292 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,630 Ch-ch-ch-chuh. 293 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,301 You asshole. 294 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,389 Don't worry. You don't have to get naked and all that stuff. 295 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,976 -Unless you want to, you know. Oof! -Mm-hm. 296 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,394 -Fuck. -What do you want? 297 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,566 How would you like to spend 4th of July weekend making 10 grand? 298 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,859 -What? -Rose, listen. 299 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,736 All I'm asking is that you go to Mexico with me. 300 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,157 All right? And then we drive home together in an RV. 301 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,450 ROSE: Mm-hm. 302 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:53,119 -And that RV has some pot in it. -Drug dealing? 303 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,080 No, it's not drug dealing. It's not. No, it's smuggling. 304 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,416 -Are you out of your mind? -Rose, listen to me. 305 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:03,379 Now, me crossing the border by myself, huge red flag. Huge, all right? 306 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,673 But families, they don't get a second look. 307 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,718 So, Rose, I need you to be my wife. 308 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,929 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 309 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:15,683 Look, Rose, 10,000 bucks, and your flight's already paid for. 310 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,226 You can't buy me. 311 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,396 I'm not buying you, all right? I'm renting you. 312 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,606 ROSE: Hmm. 313 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,982 Like Pretty Woman. 314 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:26,068 Pretty Woman? She was a prostitute. 315 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,904 And I don't trust you. 316 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,203 -What did she say? -What the fuck do you think? She said no. 317 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:39,373 Cool. So I guess it's just us, then. A little father and son bonding trip to Mexico. 318 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,461 Are you kidding? You and me alone in a van? It'll look like the pervert Olympics. 319 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,922 No way. Absolutely not. No, we need a girl. 320 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,675 And unless you can think of someone that can leave town tomorrow, I'm fucked. 321 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,470 I know a girl. 322 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,309 I don't get it. What's in it for me? 323 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:02,730 I'm thinking a roof over your head, some actual hot food. That'd be good enough. 324 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,148 I'm thinking 1000. 325 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,735 Fine, 1000 bucks, but that's it. 326 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:12,114 Great. And if we get caught I'll say you drugged and kidnapped me. Cool? 327 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:16,244 Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, that's fine. But that's it. 328 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,788 Kenny, meet your new sister. 329 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,791 This is great. I've always wanted a sister. 330 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:27,505 -Get it off me. Get it off! Get off! -Hey, come on. Let go. 331 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,424 -Come on. We gotta clean you up. -What's wrong with you? 332 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:33,344 -Don't say that. -I didn't mean to make her uncomfortable. 333 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,679 [OVER SPEAKERS] Wild child 334 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,430 MAN: Boner Garage! 335 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,141 Going all out Going for broke 336 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,646 Oh, great. Rose, I'm glad I caught you. 337 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:47,066 I wanted to go over a couple of minor policy changes... 338 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,069 -...that we have here at the club. -Like what? 339 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,573 TODD: Like, I want you to start having sex with the customers for money. 340 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,618 What? That's totally illegal, Todd. 341 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,328 Come on, what are you gonna do? 342 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:04,125 I gotta stay competitive with those fuckers who opened up across the street. 343 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,751 You mean the Apple Store? 344 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,420 Yeah, and they're killing us. 345 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,838 Oh, God. 346 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,966 That's it. I can't do it. I quit. 347 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,926 Did you hear the good news? 348 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,345 Now we get to fuck the customers for money. 349 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,098 -Wha--? -Boner Garage loves it. 350 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:23,352 I'm out of here. I am out of here. I quit. 351 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,697 Fuck. 352 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,365 Fuck. 353 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,327 [SIGHS] 354 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:43,873 [GROANS] 355 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,558 So, Casey, I guess it's nice for you to get your hair cut. 356 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,310 Being homeless and all-- 357 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:08,147 I'm not homeless, fucktard. I have a home. But I left because my parent-- 358 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:12,610 Shut up, okay? Please. I don't need to hear your hard-luck backstory right now. 359 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:17,406 I rented Precious on Netflix eight months ago and I still haven't watched the thing. 360 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,699 Here. You know what? 361 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,244 Just give me a little peace and quiet and buy yourself some new clothes. 362 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,748 You know, the kind of stuff that loved children wear. Not this garbage. 363 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,500 All right? Thank you. 364 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,834 Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. 365 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,588 You're fine. You already like a total dipshit. 366 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,009 Here. You're gonna need it. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile. 367 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,219 [CHUCKLES] 368 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,554 Go with her. Make sure she doesn't steal it. 369 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,598 And stay the fuck out of Hot Topic. 370 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,392 WOMAN: David Clark? 371 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,436 Okay, what are we doing today? 372 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,606 Yeah, I say, give me something that says: 373 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,944 "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour to a bullshit job... 374 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,780 ...where my boss expects me to kiss his balls all day... 375 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,992 ...so I can afford to keep my ungrateful kids decked out in Dora the Explorer shit... 376 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,328 ...and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos... 377 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,331 ...until the day I get the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth." 378 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:08,958 [MAN CLEARS THROAT] 379 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,043 Right here. 380 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,879 Yeah. That's it. That's the one. 381 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,245 All right. 382 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,258 Get a full body check. 383 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,555 Hi, you folks have everything you need? 384 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,223 Oh, you betcha! 385 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:10,436 Yeah, we're heading out on a family vacay here, you know? Off to see grandma, huh? 386 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,813 Well, you have a lovely family. 387 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,317 Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, this is my son, Kenny Miller, right here. 388 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,861 -And my lovely daughter.... -Casey? 389 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:22,156 Casey. Casey Miller, that's right. And I'm David Miller. 390 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:23,407 We're the Millers. 391 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:27,411 Yeah, now, you know, I got my hands full here. Couple of kooky teenagers. 392 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:31,457 Yeah, I'm going through all those typical teenage girl issues like: 393 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,251 Finals and college applications... 394 00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,796 ...and am I gonna get asked to prom. 395 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,465 Plus, I haven't gotten my period in two months... 396 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,718 ...which is really weird because I've mostly just been doing anal. 397 00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:44,178 [KENNY COUGHS] 398 00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:47,264 Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that's enough. 399 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:51,477 Well, thank you for your help, "Natalie." 400 00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:54,021 Take your seats, please. 401 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,441 You fucking kidding me? 402 00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,610 ROSE: I'm good. I got it. Right over here. Thanks. 403 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,737 Thank you. Sorry. 404 00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:06,325 -Honey! Hi! You made it! -Mm-hm. Eat a dick. 405 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,077 -Sorry, sorry. Okay. -Mm-mm. 406 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:11,539 -Wow, you look really, like-- -Don't. Just don't, all right? 407 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:12,998 Hi, Mom. 408 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,333 -Jesus. DAVID: Mm-hm. 409 00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,544 And who's that? 410 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:19,505 Well, that's your daughter. Casey. 411 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,090 Hey. 412 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,591 ROSE: Mm-hm. 413 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,051 I want 30,000 now. 414 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,929 -No fucking way. -Okay. Have a safe flight. 415 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:31,100 What? No. Okay. Fine! Fine. Bloodsucker. 416 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:35,187 Mm. All right, happy wife, happy life. Hi, kids! 417 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,691 -Make room for your mother. -Okay. 418 00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,153 -Hey! -Whoa! No, I didn't--! 419 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,323 What the fuck? Don't you ever think that you can ever-- 420 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,826 Family meeting. Let's go. Get in the back. Go. 421 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,744 KENNY: I didn't mean to. -I don't care. 422 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:54,957 CASEY: He just hit me in the fucking face. -Will you march? No one wants to hear-- 423 00:22:57,668 --> 00:22:59,587 [WHISPERING] What the fuck?! Are you kidding me? 424 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:02,256 Oh, come on, relax, Dorothy. Jesus. 425 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:05,009 We're not at the border. Who cares what they think? 426 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:08,095 It's about not drawing attention to ourselves, you little hobo. 427 00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,639 Hey! Don't talk to her like that. 428 00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:13,851 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Rose, relax, okay? The only thing you need to worry about... 429 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:16,770 ...is making them think you could be someone's mother. Okay? 430 00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:19,356 Are you kidding me? I can do this shit in my sleep. 431 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,858 Excuse me. 432 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:26,572 Lord, we thank thee for the blessing of this family vacation. 433 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:29,366 May David find his bliss and bring us home back safely. 434 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:32,703 May Kenny and Casey fortify their sibling bond... 435 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,956 ...over the warm glow of our devoted hearts. 436 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:40,044 And may this entire airplane find safe passage... 437 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,254 ...and a bountiful life. 438 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,131 Even the Jews. 439 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:46,967 -Amen. DAVID: That was a good one. 440 00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,677 That was beautiful. 441 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,180 -Oh. -I wish my family was more like that. 442 00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:53,057 ROSE: Oh, stop. Don't. 443 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:56,685 No, no, no. Come on. Come in here. Hug it out. Don't you cry. 444 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:57,978 Aw, honey. 445 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,314 [MOUTHS] Fuck you. 446 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:02,358 All better now? Okay. 447 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:06,737 Oh, and don't forget you can use Chex Mix as a surprise casserole topping. 448 00:24:06,904 --> 00:24:08,739 Adds that real special crunch. 449 00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,824 -Wow, what a great tip. -Sure! 450 00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,117 Bye-bye. 451 00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:15,079 Holy shit, where did that come from? 452 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:18,123 It's five summers with my Aunt Barb in Oklahoma. 453 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,416 That was amazing. 454 00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:21,377 Calm down. It wasn't that great. 455 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:25,130 Ah, goddamn it. Brad said the RV was supposed to be out here waiting for us. 456 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,299 Anybody sees a camper, just let me know. 457 00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:28,968 Whoa. 458 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,689 What the fuck is this? 459 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,023 This thing is ridiculous. 460 00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:44,733 [ENGINE STARTS] 461 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,568 -Can you drive this? -I don't know. 462 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,112 How fast does it go? 463 00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:22,813 Why the hell are you reading that thing? 464 00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:27,651 Because I like it. It's fun. 465 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,194 It's informative. 466 00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:31,321 "It's fun." That's your idea of fun, huh? 467 00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:34,158 I have a VCR manual from the '90s you should check out. 468 00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:37,119 -I think you'd probably enjoy that. -Fireworks! 469 00:25:37,286 --> 00:25:38,871 Oh, my God, guys, look! 470 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,665 Fireworks! Hey! Fireworks! Pull over! There's fireworks! 471 00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:43,500 We're not pulling over for fireworks. 472 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:46,086 -Oh, oh, stern. -What? It's Fourth of July weekend. 473 00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:48,255 Don't be such a grumpy asshole. Pull over! 474 00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:49,673 No. Absolutely not. 475 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,592 Oh, come on, I vote fireworks too. 476 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,762 See? Even this loser wants fireworks. Fireworks! 477 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:57,306 -Fireworks! Fireworks! -The kids wanna see fireworks. 478 00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:59,308 CASEY & KENNY: Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks! 479 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:00,601 Okay, enough! 480 00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:07,565 Enough! Let's get something straight right now! 481 00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:09,651 You are not my kids! Okay? 482 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:12,446 You are not my wife! And we are not a family! 483 00:26:12,613 --> 00:26:14,073 All right? This is a job! 484 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:15,824 We are not the Brady Bunch! 485 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,702 I'm Marky Mark and y'all are the Funky Bunch! 486 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:22,289 -The what? -I'm the boss. You hear me? 487 00:26:22,580 --> 00:26:27,419 So cut the shit! Otherwise, I will turn this RV around immediately! 488 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:31,256 And we will drive straight home. No drugs for anyone! 489 00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:32,841 This vacation sucks. 490 00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:34,384 You-- 491 00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:36,470 It is not a vacation! 492 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:37,805 [ROSE LAUGHS] 493 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,269 [FIREWORK POPS] 494 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,355 There we go. You fucking happy? Come on. 495 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:59,952 DAVID: Here we go. Everybody just be cool. All right? 496 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,287 Hey there! 497 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,749 You got the Miller family here, reporting for leisure, sir. 498 00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:08,168 We're just heading down to México way to do a-- 499 00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:14,632 Oh. Okay. Great. Fantastic. All right, thank you. Take care, now. All right. 500 00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:20,305 Whoo! Did you see that? I told you this RV would work! We totally blend. 501 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:23,183 ROSE: Congratulations. You just snuck into Mexico. 502 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:30,315 CASEY: What is this? 503 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,192 -A meth lab? DAVID: It's Mexico, Casey. 504 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,111 ROSE: That's a donkey, donkey, donkey. 505 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:37,865 -This RV blends right in, David. DAVID: Will you calm down? 506 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:41,160 ROSE: This thing is ginormous. I mean, it's ridiculous. 507 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,169 NAVIGATION VOICE: You have arrived at your destination. 508 00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,254 The route guidance is now finished. 509 00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:54,506 Are you sure these guys are expecting you? 510 00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:56,425 Rose, we're good. All right? 511 00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,970 Now will you calm down? These are Brad's guys. Nothing to worry about. 512 00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:01,722 Open Sesame. Here we go. 513 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:03,473 Hey! 514 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:06,185 Hey, I think that guy was in La Bamba. 515 00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:09,938 Is that a little football over there? That's fun. Soccer. 516 00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:11,607 Kids are a good sign, I guess. 517 00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:19,406 -Hey there. -What is this place? 518 00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:22,784 DAVID: Will you look at this? It's a cute little drug-dealing community. 519 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,578 They probably sell churros. 520 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,289 Will you relax? 521 00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:29,625 It's fine. We're totally fine. 522 00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:34,046 I'll run in, pick up a duffel bag, a suitcase or something and we'll be on our way. 523 00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:37,799 Hi. Now come on. See, it's the welcome wagon. 524 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:39,218 Let me go talk to this guy. 525 00:28:40,177 --> 00:28:43,931 Hola. Hola, big man, me llamo David. 526 00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:46,391 Yeah, I'm here to pick up for Brad Gurdlinger. 527 00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:49,645 -Oh. -He's got a gun. 528 00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:52,064 ROSE: Oh, God. -Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey! 529 00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:55,692 -Oh, God. DAVID: Palo Hacon! Palo Hacon! 530 00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:57,236 Pablo Chacon? 531 00:28:58,403 --> 00:28:59,446 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 532 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:02,199 Pablo Chacon. I'm here to pick up for Pablo Chacon. 533 00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:04,743 You are the White Gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 534 00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:06,745 Uh, yeah. Sí. 535 00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:10,540 Yeah. Yeah, mucho white-o. Very, very gringo. Yeah. 536 00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:14,586 -Who are they? -Um, that's my "family." 537 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,964 You know, uh, mi familia. 538 00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:20,217 You know, helping me out here with the deal. Yeah. 539 00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:22,427 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 540 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,012 Yeah. 541 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,682 Yeah. I know, I can't believe it either. 542 00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:27,891 [ONE-EYE SHOUTS IN SPANISH] 543 00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:29,685 [MOUTHS] Do you see his eye? Jesus Christ. 544 00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:31,561 [LAUGHING] 545 00:29:31,728 --> 00:29:33,480 Come! Drugs now. 546 00:29:33,647 --> 00:29:35,482 DAVID: Okay, great. -What? 547 00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,276 DAVID: That's great. Let's do it. Okay. 548 00:29:38,944 --> 00:29:42,364 All right, big fella, where's the smidge of weed everyone's talking about? 549 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:49,705 [MEN CHATTERING] 550 00:29:54,084 --> 00:29:56,878 -This is a little more than a smidge. -Oh, dear. 551 00:29:57,045 --> 00:29:58,755 Calm down. Okay? We're gonna be fine. 552 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,382 Oh, yeah, sure, right. 553 00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:03,510 All we're doing is smuggling two metric tons of marijuana... 554 00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:06,972 ...across an international border in a rented motor home! 555 00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:10,225 I don't see what could possibly go wrong! Ugh! 556 00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:16,106 Okay, uh, I'm gonna make a phone call real quick. 557 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,859 Kenny, watch the pot. 558 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:27,034 [SAW WHIRRING] 559 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,578 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 560 00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:38,337 -Go for B-Rad. -Hey, Brad, what the fuck?! 561 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:39,588 Uh-oh, something wrong? 562 00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:42,549 Yeah! Something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. Okay? 563 00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:44,051 You said "a smidge of pot." 564 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,802 This is not a smidge. 565 00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,429 -Smidge and a half? No? -No. 566 00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:50,807 You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie-fucking-Nelson, man! 567 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:55,937 Okay? They're using a goddamn bucket brigade to put it on the RV as we speak! 568 00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:59,858 You walked in, told them you were picking up for Pablo Chacon and they were like: 569 00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:01,818 -"No problem!" -Wait a minute. 570 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:05,072 Why do you sound surprised? You told them we were coming, right? 571 00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:06,281 Relax! 572 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:10,452 Everything's gonna be fine, man. I greased the guard in lane one at the border. 573 00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:13,413 He'll let you breeze through, I'll see you in the morning! 574 00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:14,915 I'll even buy you brunch. 575 00:31:15,082 --> 00:31:16,249 Fuck you, Brad. 576 00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:18,251 That's the David I love! 577 00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,962 Fuck you too! Come on, let's do this! 578 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:22,964 Ha, ha! I'll see you soon, my little drug mule! 579 00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:24,591 Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw-- 580 00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:25,967 [PHONE BEEPS OFF] 581 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,219 Shit! 582 00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:31,556 [WOMAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 583 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,059 Oh, no. Thank you. I'm good. 584 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,145 You reject my mother's gift? 585 00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:41,274 I mean, I don't know whether I'd put it in those terms. 586 00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:43,485 -Shut up and take the fruit. -Right. Got it. 587 00:31:43,652 --> 00:31:44,820 Thank you, ma'am. 588 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,822 -[WHISPERS] You wanna get us killed? -What? 589 00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:48,740 Namaste. 590 00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:58,250 CASEY: Whoa. 591 00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,585 I think Snoop Dogg would fuck this fridge. 592 00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,170 At least it keeps it fresh. 593 00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:06,800 Well, as long as no one sets foot inside the RV... 594 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,803 ...looks through a window, or weighs us... 595 00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:13,473 -...we should be pretty good. -We'll be fine. 596 00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:15,559 We're totally fucked. 597 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,979 [ONE-EYE SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 598 00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:31,658 [SIREN WHOOPS] 599 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,744 DAVID: Aw, shit. What the hell is this? 600 00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:37,456 ROSE: What's it look like? It's a cop, genius. DAVID: Be cool. 601 00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:41,209 -Remember we're the Millers. Okay. -Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool. 602 00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,838 -Oh. Buenos días, officer. -Hola. 603 00:32:45,005 --> 00:32:47,799 I'm sorry if we were violating some of your traffic laws. 604 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:51,261 You see, the family and I got into a heated game of road bingo and-- 605 00:32:51,428 --> 00:32:53,472 -Cut the shit. -I'm sorry? 606 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:56,224 I saw you leaving Pablo Chacon's compound. 607 00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,436 And we both know if I search your mobile home, what I'd find. 608 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:01,646 Much prison time for such things. 609 00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,106 Yeah. Yeah. 610 00:33:03,565 --> 00:33:05,609 But I don't feel like arresting anybody... 611 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:09,070 ...so I'll just simply take my bribe and I'll be on my way. 612 00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:13,408 Well, all right. Ha, ha. 613 00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:17,120 This is what I'm talking about. Great! How much we talking? 100? 200? 614 00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:19,581 -One thousand. -A thousand? 615 00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:22,459 -Mm-hm. -What, are you buying a house down here? 616 00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:27,297 It's a lot. Um, we don't have that sort of cash on us right now. 617 00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:28,715 [GROANS] 618 00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:31,384 You see, that's gonna be a problem. 619 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:32,719 Yeah, yeah. 620 00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:36,264 Maybe you can offer me something else. Say, uh... 621 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:39,643 ...something a little more personal? 622 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,730 -Oh. -Oh. 623 00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:47,442 I gotcha. Rose, suck his dick. 624 00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:50,820 Fuck you, I'm not sucking anything. 625 00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:52,781 Come on. Will you be a team player? 626 00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:55,617 -Are you fucking kidding me? -Will you stop being selfish? 627 00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,078 Please, please, señora. No need to be alarmed. 628 00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:03,583 See, I'm, how you say, a man who prefers the company of other men. 629 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:06,211 -Oh. -Oh. 630 00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:10,090 -David, suck his dick. -Rose. 631 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:12,801 Five seconds tops. Just cradle the balls. 632 00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:14,386 Mm. 633 00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:17,556 Come on, David. Be a team player. You're gonna have fun. 634 00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:20,976 Um.... 635 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:24,396 Okay. Kenny! Front and center, buddy. 636 00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,231 Uh.... 637 00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:27,691 KENNY: Okay, so what's the plan? 638 00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,694 Go up there and pretend to and then you're gonna jump him? 639 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,153 The plan is, um.... 640 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,572 Here. Come here, come here. 641 00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:37,033 Okay, um, let's see. You, you're this bottle cap. 642 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,036 Right? And I am this cigarette butt. 643 00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:43,957 Okay, that's us. All right? Okay? He's over there, right by this, that bush. 644 00:34:44,124 --> 00:34:45,375 We'll make him the pebble. 645 00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:49,254 You will go and meet him behind the bush right over there. 646 00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:51,506 You suck his dick, and we get out of here. 647 00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,217 -Okay? Bring it in, on three. -What?! No! 648 00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:56,094 What do you mean no? What's wrong? 649 00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:58,930 -Well, I'm not gay. -Are you sure? 650 00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:02,058 I mean, you never really know until you know. 651 00:35:02,225 --> 00:35:04,644 -No. I'm not gay. -Okay. All right. Calm down. 652 00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:08,815 Look, this gay panic situation you're having now, it's coming off a little homophobic. 653 00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:11,776 What, because I don't want a penis in my mouth? 654 00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:14,404 Exactly. It's exactly what homophobic means. 655 00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:18,158 Look, you go over there, you just, you know, you pretend it's a girl's dick. 656 00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:19,951 Any girl's dick you want. 657 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:22,871 KENNY: I'm not sure I agree with that logic. -Look, listen to me. 658 00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:26,541 -What is he saying to him? -I have no idea. 659 00:35:26,708 --> 00:35:28,752 All right? Just listen to me. All right? 660 00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,086 Come on, man. 661 00:35:30,253 --> 00:35:32,631 This is your chance to be the hero. 662 00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,217 -I don't know, David. DAVID: Don't do it for me. 663 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:39,804 Don't even do it for you. Do it for the girls. For Rose and Casey. 664 00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:43,016 Because, believe me, they won't last two days in a Mexican prison. 665 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,145 -Okay. -Attaboy! 666 00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:50,440 -I'll do it for the girls. -I'm proud of you. 667 00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:53,443 Hey. What's going on? 668 00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:56,196 Somebody sucking my dick, or am I getting 1000 pesos? 669 00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:57,906 No, he's gonna w-- 670 00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:01,159 -"Pesos"? Why didn't you say so? -Mm-hm. A thousand. 671 00:36:01,326 --> 00:36:04,454 Oh, well, that's like, what, 80 bucks American? 672 00:36:04,621 --> 00:36:06,956 Here. Here you go. A hundred. Keep the change. 673 00:36:07,123 --> 00:36:08,375 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 674 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:17,384 Can't believe you were gonna suck that guy's dick. Come on, let's go. 675 00:36:23,723 --> 00:36:25,266 [DOGS BARKING] 676 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:32,065 MAN [ON PA]: All vehicles, please proceed slowly in assigned lanes... 677 00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:34,025 ...and prepare for vehicle inspection. 678 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:36,820 [MAN ON PA SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 679 00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:38,363 Okay, here we go. This is it. 680 00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,948 Kenny, grab the hats. Hurry. 681 00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:42,992 You said the guard was just gonna wave us through. 682 00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:46,579 He will. But let's look the part so the others don't get suspicious. 683 00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:51,251 [HORN HONKING] 684 00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,088 What the fuck does this guy want? 685 00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:56,965 I don't know. But he's honking. 686 00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:00,260 -Hi! -Just ignore them. 687 00:37:00,635 --> 00:37:05,014 Okay, he's really honking and it's making a huge scene. I think he just wants to say hi. 688 00:37:05,265 --> 00:37:06,808 Oh, my God. I don't wanna say hi. 689 00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:09,269 They're just waving. If we just wave, he'll stop. 690 00:37:09,436 --> 00:37:11,146 Fine. I'll say hi. Fine. 691 00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:13,064 -Hi! -Hi! 692 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:16,317 Howdy-doody! Quite a rig you got there, amigo. 693 00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:20,655 That is quite a rig you guys have there too. 694 00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,324 Well, thank you very kindly. We do love her. 695 00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:26,661 We don't take her out as often as we used to when our girl was small. 696 00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:31,624 It can be such a bear to carve out quality family time but you gotta do it, don't you? 697 00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:33,960 Yeah, David and Rose Miller here. 698 00:37:34,127 --> 00:37:35,295 Oh. 699 00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:39,132 This is my daughter, Casey, right here. And my son, Kenny. 700 00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,719 -How handsome. -Pleased to make your acquaintance. 701 00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:45,597 Don Fitzgerald, my smoldering wife, Edith... 702 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,557 ...and our daughter. Say hi, Melissa. 703 00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:57,567 [EDIE LAUGHS] 704 00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,403 MAN [ON PA]: Lane one, please pull forward. -Oh. 705 00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:02,989 Sir. Sir, please pull forward. 706 00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:07,535 I got a joint here. 707 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:10,705 -Shut down lane one. -It's medicinal. 708 00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:12,373 -What'd he say? -He has a joint. 709 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:13,958 That's it? 710 00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:16,211 [ROSE GASPS] 711 00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:18,254 -Hide it. -Okay. 712 00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:20,215 Get rid of it! Oh, my God! 713 00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:21,800 Holy shit. 714 00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:24,177 -Oh, that was so close. -You have a baby! 715 00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:27,347 -Oh, I love babies! ROSE: Oh. 716 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:30,141 Oh, look at that gorgeous little bundle of joy! 717 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,435 What's that beautiful little baby's name? 718 00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:36,356 -This is our little-- -LeBron. 719 00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,358 -Name's LeBron. ROSE: Yup. 720 00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:40,902 -Oh. -A little French fella. 721 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,111 It's our little LeBron. 722 00:38:42,278 --> 00:38:45,740 I was against the name at first, but the missus has a real soft spot... 723 00:38:45,907 --> 00:38:48,034 ...for prima donnas who'll never be as good as Jordan. 724 00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:49,744 I can't see the face. 725 00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:54,332 -I'm dying to see his face. -Sir, pull forward to lane two. 726 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:57,794 -Oh, fuck! Okay, put on the hats. -You gotta pull over. 727 00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:00,421 -Here we go. ROSE: Great. 728 00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:04,676 -My God, I feel like a fucking idiot. -That's the idea. 729 00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:09,264 Hey, hey, hey, hey. Everybody smile and follow my lead, all right? 730 00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:12,350 I'm gonna take us to the promised land. Here we go. Here we go. 731 00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,269 [DOG BARKING] 732 00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:15,812 Steady. 733 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:18,523 -Steady. -Shit. 734 00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:26,656 DAVID: Shh. Shh, shh. I got this one. 735 00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:31,953 Okay. Everybody just smile. Everybody be cool. Here we go. Follow my lead. Ahem. 736 00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,291 You bringing anything into the United States, sir? 737 00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:37,667 Yuh-- 738 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,920 Sir, are you bringing any contraband back into the United States? 739 00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:42,130 DAVID: Um.... 740 00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:43,631 GUARD 1: Sir? -David! 741 00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:44,841 [GUARD 1 SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 742 00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:46,551 [BARKING] 743 00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:50,847 Folks, I need you to pull over and exit the vehicle, please. 744 00:39:51,890 --> 00:39:54,225 -But.... -Sir, is that actually necessary? 745 00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:56,561 I mean, these kids are pooped and we've just-- 746 00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:59,647 I need everybody out of this recreational vehicle immediately. 747 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:02,483 -I'll just put the baby down. -We'll put the baby away. 748 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:07,739 Bring the child, pull over to the secondary inspection area and exit the vehicle now! 749 00:40:08,781 --> 00:40:10,325 -Okay. -Good. 750 00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:11,910 [BARKING] 751 00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:13,745 [ROSE GASPS] 752 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:15,163 It's okay. It's all right. 753 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:17,248 It's okay, baby. It's just a puppy. 754 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:19,292 Stand down. 755 00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:22,378 All right. It's okay. 756 00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:26,966 Before I search the vehicle, is there anything you wanna tell me about? 757 00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,676 Because after I open that door... 758 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:30,762 ...I can't help you. 759 00:40:36,559 --> 00:40:40,063 Last chance. I'm gonna search this vehicle top to bottom. 760 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:41,814 All right. 761 00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:44,692 [MEN SHOUTING IN SPANISH] 762 00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:46,027 We got runners! 763 00:40:46,194 --> 00:40:48,029 [DOGS BARKING] 764 00:40:49,489 --> 00:40:51,032 [GUNSHOTS] 765 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:52,992 GUARD 2: We got runners! 766 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:56,537 Sorry to inconvenience you, folks. This happens a lot. 767 00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:58,081 You have a nice day. 768 00:41:03,628 --> 00:41:05,755 Go. Go, go! 769 00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,315 Ah. Well, that was fucking easy! 770 00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:25,692 [DAVID LAUGHS] 771 00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:27,360 -Oh, my God. -God! 772 00:41:27,527 --> 00:41:28,569 Whoo! We did it! 773 00:41:28,861 --> 00:41:32,365 Nicely done, Millers! Give it up! Very good job. Here you go. 774 00:41:32,532 --> 00:41:35,159 Rose! Yeah! David! There you go! 775 00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:39,831 We are all officially international drug smugglers. Add it to the résumé. 776 00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,834 Ha, ha. How about a little victory music, huh? 777 00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:47,005 [TLC'S "WATERFALLS" PLAYING ON RADIO] 778 00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:48,297 Oh, no, no, no. 779 00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:50,758 -Don't change it. I love this song. -Me too. 780 00:41:50,925 --> 00:41:53,469 What? I didn't even like this song when it was popular. 781 00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,096 Come on, loosen up, David. 782 00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,348 [INCREASES VOLUME] 783 00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:59,767 [SINGING ALONG] Please stick to the rivers 784 00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:02,186 And the lakes that you're used to 785 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:03,396 Don't do this. 786 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:06,983 What? This isn't even a good victory song. 787 00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:09,193 No, stop. We are not doing this. 788 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,488 This is embarrassing. Stop. 789 00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:15,033 Ah, come on. 790 00:42:16,117 --> 00:42:19,370 [RAPPING] I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms have come and gone 791 00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:21,748 Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray Is it because my life is 10 shades of gray 792 00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:22,957 [MOUTHS] What the fuck? 793 00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,961 I pray all 10 fade away Seldom praise him for the sunny days 794 00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:29,047 You claim the insane And name this place in time 795 00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:32,633 For fallin' prey to crime, I swear The system got you victim to your own mind 796 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,845 Dreams are hopeless aspirations In hopes of comin' true 797 00:42:36,012 --> 00:42:38,097 Believe in yourself The rest is up to me and 798 00:42:38,264 --> 00:42:41,017 [SINGING] Don't go chasin' waterfalls 799 00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:43,644 -Whoo! CASEY: Whoo, yeah, Kenny! 800 00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:45,396 ROSE: Where did you learn to do that? 801 00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,023 DAVID: Yeah, whatever. 802 00:42:48,858 --> 00:42:50,818 [CHILDREN CHATTERING] 803 00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:58,284 [CROWD SHOUTING] 804 00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:00,828 [GROANS] 805 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,837 [CROWD MURMURING] 806 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:12,173 Señor Chacon. 807 00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:13,966 [ONE-EYE SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 808 00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:15,885 We were not expecting you. 809 00:43:16,052 --> 00:43:20,014 I decided to bring the gringo myself to make sure everything goes as planned. 810 00:43:20,181 --> 00:43:24,227 But the gringo has already left with the shipment, señor. 811 00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:25,645 What gringo? 812 00:43:25,812 --> 00:43:27,772 The gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 813 00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:31,025 You mean this gringo with the haircut of a donkey. 814 00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:33,361 I have failed you, señor. 815 00:43:33,528 --> 00:43:36,030 If you saw this gringo again would you recognize him? 816 00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:39,242 He was driving an RV with his family. 817 00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:40,993 Get in the car. 818 00:44:03,057 --> 00:44:05,017 Oh, how fast are you going? 819 00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:08,938 Calm down, I'm going the speed limit. We won't get pulled over. 820 00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:12,984 No, no. I mean, loaded down like this in a 15-ton vehicle... 821 00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:15,486 ...going up a 10 percent grade. 822 00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:20,241 Just use your head, David. I don't think you think things through. 823 00:44:20,408 --> 00:44:23,911 -What? -Weight distribution loading and towing. 824 00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:25,288 -See? -Yeah, I do. 825 00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:26,789 I thought this plan through. 826 00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:29,250 -Seems to be working out. -Oh, great. 827 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:31,210 [ALARM BEEPING] 828 00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,837 DAVID: Oh, shit! 829 00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,922 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 830 00:44:35,089 --> 00:44:36,841 Seriously. God...! 831 00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:46,434 Was this part of your plan, David? 832 00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:47,685 Damn it. 833 00:44:48,102 --> 00:44:50,938 -Wait, what are we gonna do now? -I don't kno-- 834 00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:52,356 I can't even get a signal. 835 00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,860 No shit. We're in the fucking middle of nowhere, dude. 836 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:57,737 Oh, gee, thank you, Casey. 837 00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:00,531 Thank you for your amazing problem solving skills. So helpful. 838 00:45:00,697 --> 00:45:01,991 Whoa. Hey, what are you doing? 839 00:45:02,158 --> 00:45:05,661 I'm not gonna stand on the side of the road next to an RV filled with pot. 840 00:45:05,828 --> 00:45:07,163 I'm gonna try to find help. 841 00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:10,541 -Yeah, fuck this. I'm going with her. Bye. -What? 842 00:45:10,707 --> 00:45:13,336 CASEY: Wait up! ROSE: Ugh. Ridiculous! 843 00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:17,590 Okay. Actually, that's fine. Good idea. Okay, hurry back though, please. 844 00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:21,219 "Oh, I have a plan." Really? Good plan. You don't have any plans. 845 00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,139 Women, am I right? 846 00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,850 Shut the fuck up, Kenny. 847 00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:33,773 ROSE: And he's so smug. Ugh. He drives me crazy. 848 00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:35,274 CASEY: Well, yeah, he's an idiot. 849 00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:37,860 ROSE: No, he's not an idiot. He's actually kind of smart. 850 00:45:38,027 --> 00:45:39,278 Why are you defending him? 851 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,697 I'm not defending him. I'm just saying that he-- 852 00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:45,660 CASEY: Have you seen where we are? This whole plan is so stupid. 853 00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:46,994 ROSE: Oh, really? 854 00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:50,498 What golden advice did you follow that ended with you on the streets? 855 00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:54,001 I don't live on the streets, okay? I crash with friends. 856 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,295 Ah. Okay. I see. 857 00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:59,257 So you were kind of between couches when David and Kenny found you. 858 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,592 Are you gonna lecture me? Seriously, I'll puke. 859 00:46:01,758 --> 00:46:03,511 You know what, I'm not lecturing you. 860 00:46:03,678 --> 00:46:06,347 Okay, good. Because I don't need advice from a stripper. 861 00:46:06,514 --> 00:46:08,140 All right, you know what you little shit? I swear-- 862 00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:09,517 [HORN HONKS] 863 00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:11,102 What the hell is this? 864 00:46:12,478 --> 00:46:15,314 Well, look at this cute little couple of hitchhikers. 865 00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:16,941 We're here to save your bacon. 866 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:19,610 Saddle up, little ladies. Ha-ha-ha! 867 00:46:19,776 --> 00:46:21,821 ROSE: Hey. Hi, what's going on? 868 00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:25,616 They pulled up right after you guys left. They're gonna tow us to a mechanic. 869 00:46:25,782 --> 00:46:27,743 They keeping asking to hold the weed baby. 870 00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:30,288 All right, all right, calm down. Okay. 871 00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:33,916 Just calm down, all right? I got this. Watch. 872 00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:36,793 I'm holding that baby. 873 00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:40,131 Edie, you will, I promise, but it's nap time for LeBron. 874 00:46:40,298 --> 00:46:41,424 Come on, guys, let's go. 875 00:46:41,590 --> 00:46:44,760 All aboard the Fitzgerald Express. Honk, honk! 876 00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:47,388 ROSE: Ha-ha-ha! -Toot, toot! 877 00:46:48,431 --> 00:46:50,933 It's like we're pretending it's a train, but it's not. 878 00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:52,935 [EDIE LAUGHS] 879 00:46:58,357 --> 00:46:59,900 KENNY: Surrounded by goblins. MELISSA: Okay. 880 00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:01,319 Oh, oh, oh! 881 00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:04,113 One more sec, okay? Hold on, one second. Don't freak. 882 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:05,990 EDIE: When you're a synchronized swimmer... 883 00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:08,451 ...you can't use a maxi pad, you can see it. 884 00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:10,494 So my friend bought me a box of tampons. 885 00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:13,205 And I'll tell you, I had a hard time inserting those. 886 00:47:13,372 --> 00:47:15,499 -It would just stick halfway out. ROSE: Mm-hm. 887 00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:17,460 -It was just like a Roman candle. ROSE: Mm-hm. 888 00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:20,880 And that is how I found out I was born with a shallow vagina. 889 00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:26,927 -That was such a detailed story, Edie. -Thank you! 890 00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:31,766 You gotta do a one-woman show. It's, like, so many layers, you know? 891 00:47:32,808 --> 00:47:35,061 So, what's your story, David? 892 00:47:35,227 --> 00:47:37,104 -What do you mean? -How'd you two meet? 893 00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:39,856 Ah! Honey, tell her. 894 00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:42,568 And don't leave out any of the romantic parts. 895 00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:44,278 DAVID: Okay. All right. 896 00:47:44,445 --> 00:47:46,614 Where did we first meet. Um.... 897 00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:48,157 It's great. 898 00:47:48,324 --> 00:47:51,994 Well, that would have been when Rose moved into my apartment building. 899 00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:54,038 -Ah. That's right. DAVID: Mm-hm. 900 00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:55,456 [GASPS] 901 00:47:55,623 --> 00:47:58,793 I remember watching her through the crack in my door as she was-- 902 00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:00,294 Wait, you were spying on me? 903 00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:03,255 Now, hon, just because you've heard it a thousand times... 904 00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:05,591 ...doesn't mean you should interrupt. Don't be rude. 905 00:48:06,175 --> 00:48:08,344 All right. Proceed. 906 00:48:09,178 --> 00:48:10,763 But, yeah, I was spying on her. 907 00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:13,265 She was unloading this U-Haul all by herself. 908 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:17,812 I wanna go help her, but I don't wanna come off like I'm hitting on her, because... 909 00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:21,232 ...you know, I'd like to hit on her maybe at some point. 910 00:48:22,441 --> 00:48:24,652 And, uh... 911 00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:30,241 ...she was wearing these little navy blue Chuck Taylors and these jean shorts. 912 00:48:30,408 --> 00:48:32,952 No pockets on the back, however that happened. 913 00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:36,414 And this, uh, Tom Waits T-shirt. 914 00:48:36,580 --> 00:48:38,332 I was like, "Oh, that's cool." 915 00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:40,042 Because I love Tom Waits. 916 00:48:40,209 --> 00:48:42,128 And she just looked beautiful. 917 00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:49,343 If you're into that kind of mean, pretty thing. 918 00:48:51,887 --> 00:48:52,972 So, anyway, uh... 919 00:48:53,139 --> 00:48:57,852 ...she starts to bring up this really big weird-looking painting up the stairs. 920 00:48:58,018 --> 00:49:01,897 And I'm like, "Okay, here's my shot." All right, so I go outside... 921 00:49:02,064 --> 00:49:05,401 ...and I help her with it. I'm trying to, at least. 922 00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:07,319 She looks at me and goes: "Stop it!" 923 00:49:07,486 --> 00:49:09,905 -She just snaps at me. -You started yanking at it. 924 00:49:10,072 --> 00:49:12,032 Next thing you know, it's a tug of war... 925 00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:14,452 ...pulling it back and forth and out of nowhere-- 926 00:49:14,618 --> 00:49:17,788 His fat fist goes right through the canvas. 927 00:49:17,954 --> 00:49:21,167 -But it was an accident. -Doesn't matter! You ruined my painting. 928 00:49:21,333 --> 00:49:24,295 Okay. Honestly, I really think you should've thanked me. 929 00:49:24,462 --> 00:49:26,547 Yeah, because that painting was hideous. 930 00:49:26,714 --> 00:49:27,923 [CHUCKLES] 931 00:49:28,090 --> 00:49:30,676 My grandfather painted that painting. 932 00:49:30,843 --> 00:49:33,637 And it was my favorite thing in the entire world. 933 00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:38,058 So we get in this screaming match in front of the whole building. 934 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:40,519 And everybody comes out and is watching it. 935 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,979 I mean, from that moment, we hated each other. 936 00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:44,607 Oh, man. 937 00:49:45,941 --> 00:49:49,737 -And then you fell in love. Oh! -Yeah. Then we fell in love. 938 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:53,949 -Ha, ha! -Hey, now. I think this is our exit. 939 00:49:54,116 --> 00:49:56,619 David, could you grab me the map out of the glove box? 940 00:49:57,119 --> 00:49:58,454 Yes, sir. 941 00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:01,957 -Whoa. Whoa. Uh.... ROSE: Whoa! 942 00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:05,127 DON: Oh, hey, sorry about that, buddy. Didn't mean to scare you there. 943 00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:07,171 That's just my service pistol and badge. 944 00:50:07,338 --> 00:50:09,423 Oh. Your badge. 945 00:50:10,006 --> 00:50:12,468 -Are you a cop? -No, no, no. 946 00:50:12,635 --> 00:50:14,303 No? Oh, God. 947 00:50:15,387 --> 00:50:16,597 -I'm in the DEA. ROSE: Oh. 948 00:50:19,141 --> 00:50:21,810 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 949 00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:25,481 Yeah, my Don has been an agent for the last 22 years. 950 00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:27,358 On a bit of a hiatus at the moment. 951 00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:30,444 They took him out of the field, he wasn't aggressive enough. 952 00:50:30,611 --> 00:50:32,863 -That's enough. -I'm sorry. It's not right, Don. 953 00:50:33,029 --> 00:50:36,116 Those young guns aren't half the agent you are, those crumb-bums. 954 00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:38,827 Edith, you know how I feel about your cussing. 955 00:50:38,994 --> 00:50:42,248 -I'm sorry, Don. -Edith can be a little hot-blooded at times. 956 00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:45,209 -I'm 1/8 Italian, so.... ROSE: Oh. It's okay. 957 00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:50,214 Uh, hey, if you guys will excuse me. 958 00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:52,216 -Wanna join me? -Where are you off to? 959 00:50:52,383 --> 00:50:54,718 -We're gonna check on the baby. -Gonna take a dump. 960 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:57,304 -Check the baby's dumps. ROSE: That's what we should say. 961 00:50:57,471 --> 00:51:00,558 -Yeah, just go check on Lebanon. -LeBron. His name's LeBron. 962 00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:04,353 He just has a terrible tummy. And it's just bad diarrhea stuff. 963 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:05,896 DON: Do we still have cornstarch? 964 00:51:06,062 --> 00:51:08,315 EDIE: Yeah, there's cornstarch for his bottom. 965 00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:10,150 -Family meeting. -Yep. 966 00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:12,987 EDIE: I'm getting my hands on that baby. 967 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,658 He's a narc? Are you fucking kidding me?! 968 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:21,328 Stop panicking! We haven't done anything suspicious yet, so just relax! 969 00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:24,999 Oh, really? Okay. What about when they wanna hold our precious weed baby? 970 00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:26,542 Give me the baby, all right? 971 00:51:26,709 --> 00:51:29,085 I'll handle it if it happens. I'll take care of it. 972 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:32,798 Right now, all we have to do is get away from that fucked up family. 973 00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,842 Oh, fuck. Why are we stopping? 974 00:51:35,009 --> 00:51:38,470 They heard us. They heard us. Fuck, we're going to jail. 975 00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:43,392 No, no, no. We're just at the garage, okay? 976 00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,562 Everybody calm down. We haven't done anything. You're right. 977 00:51:46,729 --> 00:51:50,274 I'll ditch this guy real fast. We're gonna get in and get out of here, okay? 978 00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:53,068 Game face, okay? Miller time. Here we go. 979 00:51:54,403 --> 00:51:56,030 No other repair shops nearby? 980 00:51:56,196 --> 00:52:00,326 Run by a Christian and open after supper on a Saturday night? No, sir. 981 00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:04,246 Ah, shoot. I'd give you the hose out of our rig and send you on your way... 982 00:52:04,413 --> 00:52:06,081 ...but we'd be stranded ourselves. 983 00:52:06,582 --> 00:52:09,501 Besides, this way we can all get to know each other better. 984 00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:12,046 -What's happening? -They're closed till morning. 985 00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:13,839 Oklahoma. 986 00:52:14,590 --> 00:52:15,633 Oh, God. 987 00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:18,427 You folks can make camp with the Fitzgeralds tonight. 988 00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:22,681 I know a great spot. We'll set up the old tents and you can bed down in our Winni. 989 00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:25,476 -I'll give you a hand with your gear. -No, no, no. 990 00:52:25,643 --> 00:52:27,686 That's okay. Millers carry their own weight. 991 00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:30,898 -I knew I liked you, David. -Kenny, you wanna get our shit? 992 00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:33,942 -Hey. -This will be a hoot. 993 00:52:34,401 --> 00:52:37,655 I'll watch your little one so you and your man can have some snuggle time. 994 00:52:37,821 --> 00:52:40,324 -I don't want you to have to-- -I am good with babies. 995 00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,868 Nonsense! Oh, give me the baby. Give me that baby! 996 00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:45,454 [GASPS] 997 00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:46,664 [HORN BLARING] 998 00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:48,916 [ALL SCREAM] 999 00:52:54,338 --> 00:52:55,381 Shit! 1000 00:52:56,799 --> 00:52:57,841 EDIE: Oh, my God! 1001 00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:01,095 Oh, my God! 1002 00:53:01,762 --> 00:53:05,015 Oh, my God. Why isn't there blood?! 1003 00:53:05,181 --> 00:53:08,102 Oh, my God! What's happening? 1004 00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:12,272 Thanks a lot, Mom. Now what am I supposed to use for my health project? 1005 00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:14,733 I'm gonna fail and have to go to community college. 1006 00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:17,444 -My future's ruined! -Honey. 1007 00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:19,697 Mrs. Fitzgerald, are you all right? 1008 00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:23,199 -That baby was--? -Oh, did you think that LeBron was--? 1009 00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:27,246 ALL: Heh-heh-heh. -No, no, no. LeBron was a sack of herbs. 1010 00:53:27,413 --> 00:53:29,039 Oregano and basil mostly. 1011 00:53:29,205 --> 00:53:31,959 We were just treating it like a real baby, a summer project. 1012 00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,503 -Extra credit. DAVID: It teaches the students that... 1013 00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:36,296 ...nothing ruins your life like children. 1014 00:53:37,005 --> 00:53:40,509 Yeah. And it also sends that message to teens, just stick to the big A. 1015 00:53:40,676 --> 00:53:42,469 -Yeah, anal. -Abstinence, you meant. 1016 00:53:43,721 --> 00:53:45,556 -Neither makes a baby. -He confuses them. 1017 00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:49,225 Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edie. We promised our Casey... 1018 00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:53,021 ...that we would treat it like a real baby all summer and we went too far. 1019 00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:54,273 Got used to it. Sorry. 1020 00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,024 ROSE: And so I'm embarrassed, actually. 1021 00:53:56,191 --> 00:53:57,901 I think that would scare anybody. 1022 00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:01,405 She's very emotional. You should have seen her at the end of Free Willy. 1023 00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,781 Oh, stop it, Don. 1024 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,744 I love that whale. 1025 00:54:07,035 --> 00:54:09,496 Well, who loves campfire games? 1026 00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:11,498 EDIE: Oh, Don. 1027 00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:13,292 EDIE: It's a bird, it's a plane. 1028 00:54:13,459 --> 00:54:16,712 DON: U.S. Air Force, U.S. Air Force. Ollie North! EDIE: Take me home to-- 1029 00:54:16,879 --> 00:54:19,548 EDIE: Looks like a sea animal. Hammer tooth shark. 1030 00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:24,303 [WHISPERING] We wait until they fall asleep and then we sneak into their tent, all right? 1031 00:54:24,470 --> 00:54:26,388 [WHISPERING] Mm. Cut their throats. 1032 00:54:27,139 --> 00:54:29,057 -What? -What? 1033 00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:31,018 No. Jesus. 1034 00:54:31,351 --> 00:54:33,269 -What the fuck's wrong with you? -Nothing. 1035 00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:36,940 I wasn't saying to do that. I didn't say that. I thought you were gonna it. 1036 00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:39,485 You thought I was gonna say "cut their throats"? 1037 00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:42,362 Who do you think I am, Scarface? Give me a break. 1038 00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:44,364 DON: Herbert Walker Bush! EDIE: Paper airplanes! 1039 00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:46,325 Clowns. Clown sandwich. 1040 00:54:46,492 --> 00:54:48,160 Don't lock the baby in the basement. 1041 00:54:48,327 --> 00:54:51,413 What I was gonna say: We sneak into the tent, steal Don's keys... 1042 00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:55,375 ...then we take the RV back to the shop and I can swap out their radiator hose for ours. 1043 00:54:55,542 --> 00:54:57,628 Ah. Got it. 1044 00:54:57,795 --> 00:55:00,589 -The Earth! The Earth is on fire! -Atmosphere. 1045 00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:02,049 EDIE: Uh.... 1046 00:55:02,216 --> 00:55:03,383 [WHISPERS] Plain and simple. 1047 00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:05,177 Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda! 1048 00:55:05,344 --> 00:55:06,887 [BELL RINGS] 1049 00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:08,347 It was "plain and simple." 1050 00:55:08,514 --> 00:55:13,769 -See, this was a plane, and then this w-- -Oh, Melissa, of course it was. 1051 00:55:14,144 --> 00:55:15,437 That is so clever. 1052 00:55:15,604 --> 00:55:17,356 Gosh, I thought it was really good. 1053 00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:19,900 I'm a terrible drawer, so.... 1054 00:55:21,109 --> 00:55:22,986 -Great, because you're up next. -Ah. 1055 00:55:24,947 --> 00:55:27,115 -Passing the baton. KENNY: Nice work. 1056 00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:29,076 ROSE [IN NORMAL VOICE]: Okay. Let's go, Kenny. 1057 00:55:29,243 --> 00:55:31,078 DAVID [IN NORMAL VOICE]: All right, Kenny, here we go. 1058 00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:33,580 -Draw your brains out. ROSE: All right, that's a line. 1059 00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,958 -A slash. Guns and Roses. -Looks like a spring. 1060 00:55:36,124 --> 00:55:39,211 What is that? That's a-- Kenny, come on, draw something, buddy. 1061 00:55:39,378 --> 00:55:40,546 CASEY: String. DAVID: Come on, son. 1062 00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:43,257 -Rocket. It's a rocket or.... -Is that a cucumber? 1063 00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:44,758 This is really stupid. 1064 00:55:44,925 --> 00:55:47,553 DAVID: Is it a bad drawing, Kenny? My guess is "bad drawing." 1065 00:55:48,053 --> 00:55:51,306 -It's.... -Oh! A penis! A penis. 1066 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,935 It's a big dick. Those are balls. 1067 00:55:55,102 --> 00:55:58,313 It's a big black dick! It's a drawing. Black! It's a big black dick. 1068 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,525 It's a big, big black cock! 1069 00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:03,485 Black Cock Down! 1070 00:56:03,652 --> 00:56:05,737 [DON SIGHS THEN BELL RINGS] 1071 00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:09,867 It's a skateboard. 1072 00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:12,953 -It's a skateboard, great. -A skateboard. Of course it is. 1073 00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:16,081 -It's a big black skateboard. ROSE: I see it. 1074 00:56:16,248 --> 00:56:19,293 Of course. It's very clear. But, you see, it was up-- There's-- 1075 00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:22,713 Its wheels, so I didn't see it down on the ground, and then it-- 1076 00:56:26,592 --> 00:56:29,344 Black Cock Down? Black Cock Down? 1077 00:56:29,511 --> 00:56:32,180 Nice job, Meryl Streep. Very subtle character work. 1078 00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:34,390 Not my fault that Kenny can't draw. 1079 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:36,268 DAVID: Don't you pick on Kenny. 1080 00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:38,854 ROSE: Nothing about that looked like a skateboard. 1081 00:56:39,021 --> 00:56:41,899 You leave him alone. Where the hell's Kenny? 1082 00:56:42,065 --> 00:56:44,192 -You guys, come here. -What? 1083 00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:46,069 -What's going on? -Look at these two. 1084 00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:48,071 ROSE: Aww. DAVID: Uh-oh. 1085 00:56:50,824 --> 00:56:53,493 -Guess I'm not the best drawer. -No, you were great. 1086 00:56:53,660 --> 00:56:55,704 -I knew that was a skateboard. -Yeah. 1087 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:58,999 -I don't know where the confusion was. -No, I-- That-- 1088 00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:00,792 Yeah. 1089 00:57:01,710 --> 00:57:04,796 I, um, really like your family. They're, uh.... 1090 00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:08,592 -They're different. -Well, they're not my family. I mean-- 1091 00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:10,260 Yeah, no, I get what you mean. 1092 00:57:10,426 --> 00:57:12,387 -She wants him to kiss her. -Absolutely. 1093 00:57:12,554 --> 00:57:15,891 CASEY: She does, right? -And sometimes I feel like I'm adopted... 1094 00:57:16,058 --> 00:57:18,226 ...or an alien, you know, or something. 1095 00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:21,355 Right. That's what I meant. Um.... 1096 00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:24,066 But also, you know, I would totally adopt you. 1097 00:57:24,566 --> 00:57:25,776 You know, um.... 1098 00:57:27,319 --> 00:57:30,572 Not that I wanna be your daddy. I just, uh.... 1099 00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:33,241 DAVID: He's talking too much. CASEY: He won't shut up. 1100 00:57:35,702 --> 00:57:37,037 Uh, well, good night. 1101 00:57:37,204 --> 00:57:39,039 [ALL GROAN] 1102 00:57:39,206 --> 00:57:40,999 -I'll see you. -Okay. Um.... 1103 00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:42,668 Fucking hug. 1104 00:57:42,834 --> 00:57:43,919 Okay. 1105 00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:46,380 And, uh, Melissa? 1106 00:57:47,255 --> 00:57:50,300 -Yeah? -Uh, watch out for bears. 1107 00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:54,054 Um, you know. Can't see them coming. 1108 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:55,931 Good tip. 1109 00:58:02,521 --> 00:58:05,482 That poor kid. Well, you should go talk to him. 1110 00:58:05,941 --> 00:58:07,150 Who? 1111 00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:09,987 I said you should go-- Well, who do you think? 1112 00:58:10,153 --> 00:58:12,114 Me? What the hell am I gonna say? 1113 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:13,991 Talk to him about guy stuff. 1114 00:58:14,533 --> 00:58:17,577 -Jesus fucking Christ. -Come on, how hard is it? Just go. 1115 00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:25,877 DAVID: Hey, man, how you doing? -Hey. 1116 00:58:26,044 --> 00:58:28,088 -Anybody sitting here? -Uh, no. 1117 00:58:28,255 --> 00:58:31,299 Well, good, good, good, good. All right. 1118 00:58:32,759 --> 00:58:34,136 So, um... 1119 00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:38,181 ...I saw what just happened with you and Melissa. 1120 00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:40,642 -Oh. -Um.... 1121 00:58:40,809 --> 00:58:45,522 You know, you don't have to be scared to kiss a girl. Heh-heh. 1122 00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:49,985 I mean, you damn near sucked a guy's dick nine hours ago. What are you shy now for? 1123 00:58:50,694 --> 00:58:52,320 That's not funny, David. 1124 00:58:54,990 --> 00:58:57,784 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1125 00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,704 It was a bad joke. Ahem. 1126 00:59:02,998 --> 00:59:05,792 You wanna know something I used to do when I was your age... 1127 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:08,128 ...kept me from getting nervous around girls? 1128 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:12,090 -Yeah. -I would just count to three. 1129 00:59:13,008 --> 00:59:14,926 -Count to three? -Yeah. 1130 00:59:15,510 --> 00:59:18,263 -That's your big advice? Count to three? -Yeah. 1131 00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:22,642 I mean, if you ever wanna kiss a girl or ask her to go out, or I mean.... 1132 00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:26,396 Actually, if you get scared of anything, just do this: just count to three... 1133 00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:27,898 ...and then do it. 1134 00:59:28,857 --> 00:59:33,445 Because if you take too long, you overthink it and you'll just drive yourself crazy. 1135 00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:35,447 Trust me, it'll change your life. 1136 00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:38,575 I guess that makes sense. 1137 00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:42,204 -Thanks. -Yeah. No problem. 1138 00:59:42,370 --> 00:59:45,832 And, you know, if you have any other questions... 1139 00:59:45,999 --> 00:59:48,001 ...about, like, the birds and the bees... 1140 00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:50,879 ...who puts what into where, any of that fun stuff... 1141 00:59:51,046 --> 00:59:53,715 ...just don't hesitate to ask, okay? 1142 00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:54,925 -Okay. -Okay. 1143 00:59:55,217 --> 00:59:56,635 -Good talk. KENNY: Yeah, good talk. 1144 00:59:56,802 --> 00:59:58,678 DAVID: Oh, my back. 1145 00:59:59,221 --> 01:00:01,598 -So old. KENNY: Yeah. 1146 01:00:07,187 --> 01:00:09,314 [OWL HOOTING] 1147 01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:28,583 [MOUTHING] Wait. You go in. I'll keep a lookout, okay? Good. 1148 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:32,420 [MOUTHING] Fuck you. This was your idea. You're going the fuck in there. 1149 01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:34,256 Why are you yelling at me? 1150 01:00:34,422 --> 01:00:36,508 I am not yelling at you. 1151 01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:39,094 Okay. Okay. 1152 01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:42,222 Watch. 1153 01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:59,197 Bin Laden! 1154 01:01:00,323 --> 01:01:01,867 What's happening? Is it raccoons? 1155 01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:04,286 God. 1156 01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:06,371 You were right about them, Edith. 1157 01:01:06,538 --> 01:01:08,331 -No. I'm so sorry. -Let me explain. 1158 01:01:08,498 --> 01:01:09,958 This is completely explainable. 1159 01:01:10,125 --> 01:01:12,377 -A misunderstanding. -We didn't mean to do this. 1160 01:01:14,045 --> 01:01:16,381 -You just have to understand something. ROSE: Mm-hm, mm-hm. 1161 01:01:18,717 --> 01:01:22,095 We have never done anything like this with another couple before. 1162 01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:24,347 Uh-huh. 1163 01:01:24,514 --> 01:01:27,142 That's no judgment on you. We're no squares. 1164 01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,477 -I own a vibrator. -That's right, she does. 1165 01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:31,980 -Awesome. DON: I wasn't for it at first. 1166 01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:35,150 The darn thing's made in China, for cripes' sake... 1167 01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:40,071 ...but when you've been married this long you look for anything to spice things up. 1168 01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:44,117 So, of course we've discussed a scenario like this. 1169 01:01:44,284 --> 01:01:48,371 Yes. And tonight when you brought up that big black "babymaker".... 1170 01:01:49,372 --> 01:01:51,541 DON: Well, we got it. -Loud and clear. 1171 01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:54,002 Our vibrator is named "Joe Morgan." 1172 01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:57,380 We were picking up what you were putting down. 1173 01:01:57,756 --> 01:01:59,758 EDIE: Same page. -Interesting. 1174 01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:04,012 We're very flattered by this, but right now, in the middle of the night... 1175 01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:07,641 ...I'm not sure I'm really ready for it. Aw, Don. 1176 01:02:07,807 --> 01:02:10,143 Got it. Totally understood. Not a problem. 1177 01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:11,686 We just had to ask. So.... 1178 01:02:11,853 --> 01:02:13,146 EDIE: Wait. I have an idea. 1179 01:02:14,981 --> 01:02:19,694 Okay. Maybe I could take a baby step tonight. 1180 01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:22,405 I mean, my mouth is for my marriage. 1181 01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:25,575 But I've never touched another woman before. 1182 01:02:28,703 --> 01:02:31,998 I would be okay with that. Yeah. 1183 01:02:32,707 --> 01:02:33,750 EDIE: Oh, great. 1184 01:02:34,626 --> 01:02:35,877 Rose? 1185 01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:39,130 -There you go. -Okay. All right, I'm sitting. 1186 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:40,882 -Are you okay? -David. 1187 01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:44,052 -Mother to mother, is this okay with you? -Yes. "Mother." Yes. 1188 01:02:44,219 --> 01:02:46,596 -Are you sure? -Let's get this mother started. 1189 01:02:46,763 --> 01:02:49,182 -Shall we? Okay. EDIE: Ha-ha-ha! 1190 01:02:49,432 --> 01:02:52,435 -Okay, Don, are you watching? -I'm good. 1191 01:02:53,395 --> 01:02:55,272 Okay. Uh, wow. 1192 01:02:55,438 --> 01:02:58,108 My heart's pounding so fast in my chest. 1193 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,944 -Ahem. So I guess we're swinging. -Hmm? Oh, yeah. 1194 01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:02,988 Ooh. Ha, ha. 1195 01:03:03,154 --> 01:03:04,614 EDIE: Sorry that I'm taking so long. 1196 01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:06,866 Hello. Ha-ha-ha! 1197 01:03:08,493 --> 01:03:11,538 Okay, I'm just gonna do it real fast. There we go. 1198 01:03:12,247 --> 01:03:13,707 -There they are. -There they are. 1199 01:03:13,873 --> 01:03:17,127 -Wow! Wow! ROSE: It's happening. This is happening. 1200 01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:21,214 EDIE: Don, are you looking at this? I'm touching her boobs. 1201 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:23,717 -This is a miracle. -Okey-doke. 1202 01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:27,178 -Would you like to feel my breasts? -I think that's enough for tonight. 1203 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,180 -You're right. -Don't give away the farm. 1204 01:03:29,347 --> 01:03:31,099 -A little roughhouse? -We should wait. 1205 01:03:31,933 --> 01:03:34,102 -Are you okay down there? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1206 01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:35,645 Have fun tonight, kids. 1207 01:03:37,022 --> 01:03:40,984 ROSE: Awesome. -I'm never gonna wash these hands. 1208 01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:42,485 Mwah, mwah, mwah! 1209 01:03:43,069 --> 01:03:44,446 Thank you so much. 1210 01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:46,740 ROSE: Good night. That was great. -Okay, bye, guys. 1211 01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:48,908 Great. What now, genius? 1212 01:03:49,075 --> 01:03:51,119 -Tell me-- What? -Oh, oh, oh. I don't know. 1213 01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:53,997 I just got earfucked in a tent. What do you want from me? 1214 01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:55,206 You're a fucking idiot. 1215 01:03:58,752 --> 01:04:01,087 [VIBRATOR HUMMING AND DON & EDIE GIGGLING] 1216 01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:07,010 [KENNY SIGHS] 1217 01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:11,431 Okay, what? 1218 01:04:13,516 --> 01:04:14,893 What? What do you mean? 1219 01:04:15,060 --> 01:04:16,436 Do you wanna talk about it... 1220 01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:19,356 ...or mope around like someone kicked you in the vagina? 1221 01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:23,318 Okay. Um.... 1222 01:04:23,485 --> 01:04:25,570 Well, I've never really like-- 1223 01:04:25,737 --> 01:04:27,947 Had sex before. Shocker. 1224 01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:29,616 Kissed a girl before. 1225 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:33,578 Wait, what? I thought you said you were like 18. 1226 01:04:33,953 --> 01:04:36,414 -Okay, you know what, forget it. -Okay, okay, wait. Okay. 1227 01:04:36,581 --> 01:04:39,626 Come on. Sit down. Don't need to be so dramatic. 1228 01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,420 Look, it's okay that you haven't kissed a girl. 1229 01:04:42,587 --> 01:04:44,798 I'm sure there are some girls... 1230 01:04:44,964 --> 01:04:46,716 ...who I've never met... 1231 01:04:47,175 --> 01:04:49,552 ...that find inexperience kind of sweet. 1232 01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:54,140 I don't wanna be a sweet, inexperienced guy who's never been worth kissing. 1233 01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:59,604 I wanna be the guy who grabs a girl and kisses her. You know? 1234 01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:05,443 Okay, let me make one thing clear. 1235 01:05:05,610 --> 01:05:08,696 This isn't one of those moments where the girl kisses the boy... 1236 01:05:08,863 --> 01:05:11,866 ...and realizes she's been in love with him the whole time, okay? 1237 01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,869 You're my fake brother and you're a sweet kid... 1238 01:05:15,036 --> 01:05:17,580 ...so this is for you to bring back to Melissa. 1239 01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:19,833 -What is? -I'm gonna kiss you, dingus. 1240 01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:22,210 Oh. 1241 01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:26,506 -What are you doing? Shut your eyes. -Okay, sorry. Right. 1242 01:05:26,673 --> 01:05:28,925 That's weird. That's really weird. 1243 01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:31,136 -Sorry. -All right. Ahem. 1244 01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,977 That was okay. Now more tongue. 1245 01:05:39,144 --> 01:05:41,354 Tongue. I can do that. 1246 01:05:44,065 --> 01:05:46,234 Too much tongue. Too much tongue. 1247 01:05:46,693 --> 01:05:50,029 Right. Too much-- Yeah, that's my fault. My bad. Sorry. 1248 01:05:52,073 --> 01:05:53,158 Less tongue. 1249 01:05:58,705 --> 01:05:59,747 That was good. 1250 01:06:00,915 --> 01:06:03,877 All right, now this time, I want you to choke me a little bit. 1251 01:06:04,043 --> 01:06:08,047 -Uh, okay. DAVID: Whoa. What's going on here? 1252 01:06:08,214 --> 01:06:09,716 Uh, it's-- 1253 01:06:09,883 --> 01:06:12,802 -We're not doing what it looks like. -Really? 1254 01:06:13,052 --> 01:06:15,722 It looks like Casey's teaching you how to kiss out of pity. 1255 01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:17,098 CASEY: Mm-hm. 1256 01:06:17,265 --> 01:06:19,809 Uh, well, then it is what it looks like, yeah. 1257 01:06:20,185 --> 01:06:21,436 Really. 1258 01:06:21,811 --> 01:06:23,271 What did you teach him? 1259 01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:26,357 The basics. He's never kissed a girl before. 1260 01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:29,527 You haven't? Oh. Well, honey, show me. 1261 01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:31,863 -Uh, really? -Yes. 1262 01:06:32,447 --> 01:06:33,573 Okay. Uh-- 1263 01:06:36,201 --> 01:06:38,453 Oh. Not bad. 1264 01:06:38,620 --> 01:06:39,954 It's not bad. 1265 01:06:40,455 --> 01:06:42,165 -Try this. -Okay. 1266 01:06:42,332 --> 01:06:43,416 Come here. 1267 01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:46,794 [KENNY GRUNTS] 1268 01:06:46,961 --> 01:06:48,004 There you go. 1269 01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:52,175 You feel that? What I did with my tongue? 1270 01:06:52,926 --> 01:06:56,137 -Yes, ma'am. -Show Casey what you just learned. 1271 01:06:59,807 --> 01:07:01,351 Look at that. 1272 01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:04,687 Mm! Whoa! 1273 01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,147 DAVID: Wait. Hold on. 1274 01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:10,235 I wanna get a picture of you with the first girl you ever kissed. Here you go. 1275 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:11,986 -Mm-hm. Make it good. -Good. 1276 01:07:12,153 --> 01:07:15,031 Rose. Get in there. There you go. Photobomb it. 1277 01:07:16,115 --> 01:07:18,576 -This is getting better, it's getting better. -Okay. 1278 01:07:22,580 --> 01:07:24,123 ROSE: It's so cute. 1279 01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,459 DAVID: Use your hands. They got so much fun stuff to play with. 1280 01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,253 You're not using your hands. 1281 01:07:33,132 --> 01:07:34,676 MELISSA: Kenny? 1282 01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:39,305 -No, Melissa-- It's, uh-- -I'm sorry. 1283 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:40,974 KENNY: Melissa, wait. 1284 01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:43,184 Fuck. 1285 01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:47,313 You know, there's a 50-50 chance she'll be into it. 1286 01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:49,524 [WHISPERS] Redhead. They're crazy. 1287 01:07:58,866 --> 01:08:01,536 Grab your things, guys. Kenny, grab my stuff. Thanks. 1288 01:08:01,703 --> 01:08:04,122 -Here we go. -Well, looks like you're ready to roll. 1289 01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,959 Gary called me first thing. He seemed real eager for y'all to come pick her up. 1290 01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:10,795 -Good. Good, good, good. Okay. -Guess this is it, then. 1291 01:08:10,962 --> 01:08:12,005 Good luck to you, David. 1292 01:08:12,171 --> 01:08:15,550 -Hey, thank you, Don. Take care, will you? -Before you go running off.... 1293 01:08:15,717 --> 01:08:18,052 -Yeah? -Well, last night, notwithstanding... 1294 01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,097 ...things bedroom-wise between me and Mrs. Fitzgerald... 1295 01:08:21,264 --> 01:08:24,559 ...haven't been a real five-alarm fire of late. 1296 01:08:24,726 --> 01:08:26,519 -Anyway, I need your advice, David. -Mm-hm. 1297 01:08:26,853 --> 01:08:29,606 You guys seem hotter for each other than a couple mice... 1298 01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:31,816 ...having sexual congress in a wool sock. 1299 01:08:32,483 --> 01:08:34,902 -We do? -Yeah, I guess I just want to know... 1300 01:08:35,069 --> 01:08:40,033 ...what do you do to keep things exciting after years in the same fishing hole? 1301 01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:42,327 -Hmm. -What's your secret? 1302 01:08:42,619 --> 01:08:45,163 Right. Let's see. My secret.... 1303 01:08:47,165 --> 01:08:49,208 Well, you know what I do, Don? 1304 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:51,836 I just treat Rose like she's a stripper. 1305 01:08:53,212 --> 01:08:55,089 [CHUCKLES] 1306 01:08:55,256 --> 01:08:56,758 -No kidding? -No kidding. 1307 01:08:56,924 --> 01:08:59,052 Like she's a dirty, dirty stripper. 1308 01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:02,847 Okay. Heh-heh-heh. 1309 01:09:03,014 --> 01:09:04,265 Dirtier the better. 1310 01:09:04,432 --> 01:09:05,725 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 1311 01:09:05,892 --> 01:09:09,771 Okay, watch your step. It surprise-- It sneaks up on you. 1312 01:09:10,188 --> 01:09:11,397 Everyone got your bags? 1313 01:09:11,898 --> 01:09:15,568 Oh. I am so sorry that Melissa isn't here to say goodbye. 1314 01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:17,320 She just won't come out of that bedroom. 1315 01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:20,323 You know, she's been sick to her tummy ever since last night. 1316 01:09:20,490 --> 01:09:23,826 -I think it was something that she ate. -Just tell her I'm really sorry. 1317 01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:25,328 -Oh, sure. -Oh. 1318 01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:27,121 EDIE: Sure will. 1319 01:09:28,915 --> 01:09:30,792 Oh, so sweet, kids. 1320 01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:35,088 [WHISPERS] You'll always be my special lover. 1321 01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,758 Ow! Oh, Edie. 1322 01:09:39,967 --> 01:09:41,219 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Bye! 1323 01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:44,263 -Happy birthday, America! -Bye! 1324 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:46,224 -See ya, now! -Bye-bye, now. 1325 01:09:46,391 --> 01:09:48,393 [DAVID CHUCKLING] 1326 01:09:48,559 --> 01:09:50,269 -Thank you. -Bye. 1327 01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:54,232 Let's get out of here. You guys, go to the RV. I'll get the keys from Skeeter. 1328 01:09:58,695 --> 01:10:00,113 Hello?! 1329 01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,366 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 1330 01:10:04,659 --> 01:10:06,577 Hey, Brad, I was just gonna call you. 1331 01:10:06,744 --> 01:10:08,913 Where are you? Thought you'd be here by now. 1332 01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:10,498 I told you I needed it today. 1333 01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:14,168 No, I know that. No, we just had a little bit of engine trouble's all, okay? 1334 01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:18,631 We're gonna be on the road in five minutes, at your front door in just a few hours, okay? 1335 01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:20,508 Nothing stopping us now. 1336 01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:22,385 What the fuck? 1337 01:10:24,470 --> 01:10:26,097 Hand me the phone. 1338 01:10:26,264 --> 01:10:28,683 Uh, Brad, can you hold on for a sec? 1339 01:10:29,016 --> 01:10:31,018 All right, let's not do anything rash. 1340 01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:33,896 -I'm David, what's your name? -Pablo Chacon. 1341 01:10:34,063 --> 01:10:36,190 Shut the fuck up. Stop, stop. 1342 01:10:36,357 --> 01:10:39,068 -Hola, Brad. -Pablo! 1343 01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:40,737 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 1344 01:10:41,195 --> 01:10:43,740 You send this amateur fuck-up to steal from me? 1345 01:10:43,906 --> 01:10:46,617 Listen, I don't know what David told you-- Hello? 1346 01:10:48,286 --> 01:10:51,497 I thought you said we were picking up drugs for Pablo Chacon. 1347 01:10:51,664 --> 01:10:54,292 I thought we were. Brad told me he was Pablo Chacon. 1348 01:10:54,459 --> 01:10:56,711 ROSE: Why do you trust that guy? DAVID: I don't, okay? 1349 01:10:56,878 --> 01:10:59,172 Can you guys stop bickering for five seconds? 1350 01:10:59,338 --> 01:11:01,507 Okay, how did he even find us? 1351 01:11:01,674 --> 01:11:03,134 -We don't know. -I don't know. 1352 01:11:03,301 --> 01:11:04,594 PABLO: With this. 1353 01:11:06,596 --> 01:11:07,638 Tracking device. 1354 01:11:07,805 --> 01:11:10,266 You put that in the RV, huh? In one of the bags? 1355 01:11:10,433 --> 01:11:14,061 -How could you not think of that? -Because I don't know what I'm doing! 1356 01:11:14,228 --> 01:11:16,522 -Have you not figured that out? -Silence! 1357 01:11:19,776 --> 01:11:21,319 You all die now. 1358 01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:23,780 But together as a family, with honor. 1359 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:28,785 But we're not even a real family, okay? I don't even know these people. 1360 01:11:28,993 --> 01:11:30,203 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH] 1361 01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:33,623 She's right. That's absolutely right. No, no. We're not related at all, any of us. 1362 01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:36,209 Look, I'm just a small-time fucking drug dealer. 1363 01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:37,752 I sell dime bags, all right? 1364 01:11:37,919 --> 01:11:41,547 My daughter here is just a homeless gutter punk, all right? 1365 01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:45,927 And my son is just a fucking dork that lives in my building. We don't look alike! 1366 01:11:46,093 --> 01:11:48,763 ROSE: Not related. -A virgin, okay? And my "wife"? 1367 01:11:49,222 --> 01:11:51,015 I mean, she's just a cheap stripper. 1368 01:11:51,182 --> 01:11:53,142 Hey, thanks, David. Nice. 1369 01:11:53,309 --> 01:11:55,853 DAVID: We will not do anything if-- -Wait, wait. Heh. 1370 01:11:56,020 --> 01:11:58,898 In the capri pants and the sensible footwear, a stripper? 1371 01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:01,234 Yes. 1372 01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:03,402 That's right, I am... 1373 01:12:04,362 --> 01:12:05,947 ...Mr. Chacon. 1374 01:12:06,781 --> 01:12:08,991 Just give me one chance... 1375 01:12:09,158 --> 01:12:14,247 ...to prove to you that I'm worth way more alive than I am dead. 1376 01:12:17,041 --> 01:12:19,252 [AEROSMITH'S "SWEET EMOTION" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 1377 01:12:21,754 --> 01:12:26,342 Sweet 1378 01:12:26,509 --> 01:12:31,222 Emotion 1379 01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:34,183 Talk about things And nobody cares 1380 01:12:36,686 --> 01:12:39,063 Wearing hot things That nobody wears 1381 01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:49,365 Some sweat hog knew She's a real good liar 1382 01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:54,120 'Cause the backstage boogie Set your pants on fire 1383 01:12:58,875 --> 01:13:02,795 Sweet 1384 01:13:02,962 --> 01:13:07,550 Emotion 1385 01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:12,471 Sweet 1386 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:16,392 Emotion 1387 01:13:17,476 --> 01:13:20,438 You stand in the front Just a shakin' your ass 1388 01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:25,651 I'll take you backstage You'll be drinking my glass 1389 01:13:27,278 --> 01:13:30,406 I'm talkin' about something You can sure understand 1390 01:13:44,962 --> 01:13:47,131 Have some respect, it's your mother. 1391 01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:55,640 [PABLO SCREAMS] 1392 01:13:55,806 --> 01:13:57,391 DAVID: Get in the RV! Go, go, go! 1393 01:13:58,434 --> 01:14:00,311 [GRUNTS] 1394 01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:06,192 Why are we fighting? 1395 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:12,949 -Do you know how to drive this? -No. 1396 01:14:13,991 --> 01:14:15,242 No weapons. Here we go. 1397 01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:17,620 CASEY: Hurry! KENNY: I don't know how it works. 1398 01:14:17,787 --> 01:14:20,039 [BOTH YELL THEN ONE-EYE GRUNTS] 1399 01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:21,540 CASEY: Fuck! 1400 01:14:26,253 --> 01:14:29,006 -What just happened? -I knocked him out. Let's go. 1401 01:14:29,173 --> 01:14:30,341 -You did not. -Yes, I did. 1402 01:14:34,428 --> 01:14:35,930 Come on, Rose, come on. Come on! 1403 01:14:39,433 --> 01:14:40,685 -Look out! -Oh, no, please. 1404 01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:49,193 Kenny! Kenny, give me the wheel! 1405 01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:50,736 No, do not pull over! 1406 01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:54,782 Go this way! No, no, no. Don't get on the freeway. 1407 01:14:54,949 --> 01:14:57,410 -Kenny, just let me in. KENNY: I can't. I'll stop. 1408 01:14:57,576 --> 01:14:59,078 DAVID: Don't stop! You can't stop. 1409 01:14:59,245 --> 01:15:00,579 Goddamn it, will you let go? 1410 01:15:00,746 --> 01:15:02,707 No, no, no, no! You're gonna get us killed! 1411 01:15:02,873 --> 01:15:03,916 [HORN HONKING] 1412 01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:06,585 [ALL SHOUTING] 1413 01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:09,380 DAVID: All right, just get out of the way. KENNY: I can't. 1414 01:15:10,506 --> 01:15:13,092 [ALL SCREAMING] 1415 01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:22,560 Is everybody okay? 1416 01:15:22,727 --> 01:15:24,562 -Are you okay? -I'm fine. What--? 1417 01:15:24,729 --> 01:15:25,771 ROSE: Fuck. 1418 01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:31,193 Fuck! 1419 01:15:31,569 --> 01:15:32,862 Ow! Shit! Fuck, fucking-- 1420 01:15:33,029 --> 01:15:35,156 Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! 1421 01:15:35,322 --> 01:15:38,117 -Oh, my God. Fucking shit! Fuck! DAVID: What the hell is he doing? 1422 01:15:38,284 --> 01:15:40,411 Fuck a donkey! It hurts so much. 1423 01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:42,913 Settle down, man. What the hell's going on? 1424 01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:44,999 Oh, my God! I'm gonna die. 1425 01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:47,168 Kenny, listen to me. Calm down, all right? 1426 01:15:47,334 --> 01:15:49,170 Not gonna die. Tell us what's going on. 1427 01:15:49,336 --> 01:15:51,881 -Tell us what happened. -Fucking spider bit me, David! 1428 01:15:52,048 --> 01:15:54,633 -What? Where did it happen? -Bit me on my balls. 1429 01:15:55,134 --> 01:15:58,596 On my fucking balls. On my balls, on my fucking balls! 1430 01:15:58,763 --> 01:16:00,681 Oh, God. Let me see. Kenny, let me see it. 1431 01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:03,434 No. No fucking way. You're not seeing it. 1432 01:16:03,601 --> 01:16:07,354 Come on. I can't help you unless you show me. Sweetie, just show it to me. 1433 01:16:07,521 --> 01:16:09,815 Kenny, will you just man up and drop your pants? 1434 01:16:09,982 --> 01:16:11,650 We've all seen a dick. 1435 01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:18,240 DAVID: All right, let's see it. 1436 01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:20,493 [ROSE GASPS] 1437 01:16:20,659 --> 01:16:23,162 What? What is it? What does it look like? 1438 01:16:23,329 --> 01:16:25,164 -I can't look. -Um.... 1439 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:28,250 -Is it bad? -Hey, listen to me. It's not that bad. 1440 01:16:28,417 --> 01:16:30,586 -Dude, it's really bad. -No, it isn't. 1441 01:16:30,753 --> 01:16:33,339 -Have you seen what that-- Look. -I'm not gonna look. 1442 01:16:33,506 --> 01:16:36,675 -You're going to a hospital. -What? No. No fucking way. 1443 01:16:37,051 --> 01:16:38,094 How bad is it? 1444 01:16:38,385 --> 01:16:41,222 You're okay. Rub some dirt on it. Let's get back in the RV. 1445 01:16:41,388 --> 01:16:44,016 No. You're going to see a doctor. 1446 01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:46,310 No fucking way. No, absolutely not, Rose. 1447 01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:49,063 He's not going to a hospital. We don't have time. 1448 01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:52,108 Trust me. Kenny is fine. 1449 01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:56,821 -Goddamn it, Kenny. -Yeah. Totally fine. 1450 01:16:56,987 --> 01:17:00,032 -Go grab him. Grab him! -If he's dead, we're leaving him. 1451 01:17:06,914 --> 01:17:10,835 Yeah, this is David Mille-- David Clark, calling for Mr. Gurdlinger again. 1452 01:17:11,877 --> 01:17:13,546 Yes, I'll hold. 1453 01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:15,506 [BABBLING] 1454 01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,217 [CELL PHONE BUZZES] 1455 01:17:18,384 --> 01:17:20,177 -Yellow-ski. -Oh, hello, Brad. 1456 01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:23,139 Where the fuck have you been? I left you five messages, man! 1457 01:17:23,305 --> 01:17:27,184 David! You're alive! Cool. How'd that happen? 1458 01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,145 Ask the real Pablo Chacon. 1459 01:17:29,311 --> 01:17:30,688 I'm not gonna make excuses. 1460 01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:32,606 It was kind of a dick move. 1461 01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:35,359 -"A dick move"? A dick move! -Little bit. 1462 01:17:35,776 --> 01:17:37,236 Little bit of a dick move. 1463 01:17:37,403 --> 01:17:40,114 Well, tell you what. I'm not driving another fucking mile. 1464 01:17:40,281 --> 01:17:44,451 All right? I want goddamn hazard pay from your ass. Otherwise, I'll turn around... 1465 01:17:44,618 --> 01:17:48,581 ...and give this smidge of pot back to Chacon, along with your fucking address. 1466 01:17:48,747 --> 01:17:49,790 Do you understand me? 1467 01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:52,209 Sounds like you're threatening to double-cross me. 1468 01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:54,170 Fucking right I am. 1469 01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:56,297 And I'm kind of turned on right now. 1470 01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:59,633 You make a good case for hazard pay. How much you want? 1471 01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:02,595 How much? Oh, I don't know, half a million dollars. 1472 01:18:02,761 --> 01:18:04,054 -How about that? -Done. 1473 01:18:05,264 --> 01:18:06,932 Fucking right, it's done. Good. 1474 01:18:07,099 --> 01:18:10,019 But I need it here by tonight or the deal is off. 1475 01:18:10,728 --> 01:18:12,271 No problem. That's fine with me. 1476 01:18:12,438 --> 01:18:14,148 Where the hell are you, anyway? 1477 01:18:14,315 --> 01:18:19,403 We're at the Corrales Regional Medical Center in Buttfuck, New Mexico. 1478 01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:20,946 -Why? -Why? Why? 1479 01:18:21,113 --> 01:18:24,700 Because this goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant spider. 1480 01:18:24,867 --> 01:18:28,078 That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops super powers? 1481 01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:30,748 Listen, man, giddyup, okay? Tick-tock. 1482 01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:33,626 Tick-tock. Okay. 1483 01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,384 Scottie? The doctor will see you now. 1484 01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:47,932 SCOTTIE: Text me, girl. I gotta bounce. 1485 01:18:48,557 --> 01:18:49,767 Know what I'm saying? 1486 01:18:52,061 --> 01:18:55,564 Oh, God. Really? That guy? 1487 01:18:56,357 --> 01:18:58,901 -What? He's hot. -Okay. 1488 01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:00,736 "I gotta bounce." 1489 01:19:02,029 --> 01:19:03,864 -Miller family? ROSE: Yeah. 1490 01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:06,825 Hi. Hello, how are you? 1491 01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:09,703 Oh, great. What's the news, doc, huh? Can we get going? 1492 01:19:09,870 --> 01:19:11,664 -He's about to tell us. -Oh, good. 1493 01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:15,626 I'm afraid your son had a pretty severe allergic reaction to the spider's venom. 1494 01:19:15,793 --> 01:19:17,836 Ooh. Too bad. Better get him home. Where is he? 1495 01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:22,132 He's in a lot of pain right now, we won't be able to release him for a few hours yet. 1496 01:19:22,299 --> 01:19:24,176 [DAVID GROANS] 1497 01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:26,762 -Why? ROSE: David? David, David! Stop it. 1498 01:19:27,930 --> 01:19:29,223 Please. Continue. 1499 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:32,017 Uh, he's on an IV to get some antibiotics-- 1500 01:19:32,184 --> 01:19:33,269 [SNORES] 1501 01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:35,980 Who the fuck cares, man? Okay? We got shit to do. 1502 01:19:36,146 --> 01:19:39,233 Go get my son and bring him and his giant nut out here right now. 1503 01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:42,820 Stop it. Doctor, thank you. I appreciate you taking care of our son. 1504 01:19:42,987 --> 01:19:46,615 -Thank you very much. -Sure. You seem like a very caring father. 1505 01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:50,828 -What is your fucking problem? -What?! 1506 01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:53,539 Are you crazy? It's only a few hours. We'll be fine. 1507 01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:54,999 No, we're not fine. Okay? 1508 01:19:55,165 --> 01:19:58,168 We'll be dead in a few hours. You forget who's following us? 1509 01:19:58,335 --> 01:20:00,671 Look, here's what I say we do, all right? 1510 01:20:01,171 --> 01:20:03,841 We leave him here, and then we just keep going, all right? 1511 01:20:04,008 --> 01:20:06,969 So you're saying that the three of us, we just leave him here. 1512 01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:11,015 No! No, no, no. We don't leave him here. No. Absolutely not. No, we leave... 1513 01:20:11,265 --> 01:20:12,641 ...with him here. 1514 01:20:15,602 --> 01:20:16,645 Okay. 1515 01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:24,987 You know, if we leave Kenny here, it really isn't-- 1516 01:20:25,696 --> 01:20:26,739 Ah. 1517 01:20:26,905 --> 01:20:29,658 No. I don't know where I was going with that. That's stupid. 1518 01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:31,160 Seriously. 1519 01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:33,370 [BANGING ON DOOR] 1520 01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:34,955 -What's that? -I don't know. 1521 01:20:35,122 --> 01:20:37,875 CASEY: Don't answer it! It's for me! -What? 1522 01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:39,877 What's up, dawg? 1523 01:20:40,294 --> 01:20:41,920 Not much, dawg. What's up with you? 1524 01:20:42,087 --> 01:20:44,089 Here to pick up Casey, know what I'm saying? 1525 01:20:44,256 --> 01:20:46,759 I'm awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know. 1526 01:20:47,926 --> 01:20:51,096 -What's your name, man? -Scottie P., you know what I'm saying? Ha-ha. 1527 01:20:51,930 --> 01:20:53,724 Again, I do know what you're saying. 1528 01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:56,393 But I appreciate you continuing to check in with me. 1529 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:59,188 -Hi! Bye. We're gonna go. -Whoa, wait! 1530 01:20:59,355 --> 01:21:01,607 -Where do you think you're going? -Out. 1531 01:21:02,232 --> 01:21:04,276 I have just made lunch. 1532 01:21:04,443 --> 01:21:06,779 -When are you coming back? -I don't know, later. 1533 01:21:06,945 --> 01:21:08,864 DAVID: No! Hey, stop! Stop, listen to me. 1534 01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:10,866 Once Kenny is ready, we're out of here. 1535 01:21:11,033 --> 01:21:14,536 We will leave with or without you. If you're not here, we're gone. Got it? 1536 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:16,830 Okay, fine. That's totally fine. 1537 01:21:16,997 --> 01:21:19,958 Wait. Come here. I'd like to have a chat with your friend. 1538 01:21:20,125 --> 01:21:22,586 -Are you kidding me? -I am not kidding you. 1539 01:21:22,753 --> 01:21:24,171 Would you please have a seat. 1540 01:21:25,255 --> 01:21:26,548 What is going on? 1541 01:21:32,513 --> 01:21:36,725 So, Scottie P., what exactly do you do for a living? 1542 01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:39,937 -Oh, Mom! SCOTTIE: I work for A & J Amusements. 1543 01:21:40,104 --> 01:21:42,606 I'm rocking that Monkey Maze, you know what I'm saying? 1544 01:21:42,773 --> 01:21:47,069 -What the hell is the Monkey Maze? -Oh, it's like a Terrifying Deathtrap... 1545 01:21:47,236 --> 01:21:48,612 ...but for little kids. 1546 01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:51,240 DAVID: Mm-hm. ROSE: Mm-hm. 1547 01:21:51,407 --> 01:21:52,908 Yeah. 1548 01:21:53,075 --> 01:21:54,785 Hey, those are cool tats, man. 1549 01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:57,121 Oh, for real. Thank you, bro. You see the cobra? 1550 01:21:57,496 --> 01:21:59,665 -What's this? The one right there? -Oh, this? 1551 01:21:59,832 --> 01:22:01,250 DAVID: Uh-huh. 1552 01:22:01,417 --> 01:22:03,335 That's my credo. "No ragrets." 1553 01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:06,547 Mm-hm. How about that. 1554 01:22:07,089 --> 01:22:09,007 -You have no regrets? -Nope. 1555 01:22:09,174 --> 01:22:12,511 -Like, not even a single letter? -No way. Heh-heh. Not me. 1556 01:22:12,678 --> 01:22:16,473 -Dad. -Well, I love him. I think he's great. 1557 01:22:16,640 --> 01:22:19,351 A real winner. If I were you, I wouldn't use protection. 1558 01:22:19,518 --> 01:22:21,019 Scottie P., you're the man. 1559 01:22:21,186 --> 01:22:23,814 -Yo, for real. Thanks, man. -We're leaving. Bye! 1560 01:22:23,981 --> 01:22:26,316 -Nice meeting you. You do you, Scottie P. SCOTTIE: You too. 1561 01:22:29,194 --> 01:22:31,029 [ENGINE REVVING] 1562 01:22:32,906 --> 01:22:34,616 ROSE: Casey, make good choices! 1563 01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:39,329 Come on, she's gonna be fine. 1564 01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:42,166 Tattooed kid on a motorcycle, no helmet. 1565 01:22:42,916 --> 01:22:44,877 Actually, she might already be pregnant. 1566 01:22:51,633 --> 01:22:54,386 I cannot believe her. Where the hell is she? 1567 01:22:54,553 --> 01:22:58,265 Look who is concerned about someone other than themselves. 1568 01:22:58,432 --> 01:23:00,434 What? I just want to get back on the road. 1569 01:23:00,601 --> 01:23:01,935 No, I know. 1570 01:23:02,311 --> 01:23:04,104 That kid was a dickhead, huh? 1571 01:23:04,271 --> 01:23:05,606 -Right? -Know what I'm saying? 1572 01:23:05,772 --> 01:23:08,734 -Ha! Jerk. -Unbelievable. 1573 01:23:08,901 --> 01:23:11,236 Must get her shitty taste in men from her mother. 1574 01:23:14,698 --> 01:23:17,034 I'm sorry. It was a cheap shot. 1575 01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:19,661 Cheap shot, okay? I'm taking it back. 1576 01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:24,166 I'm sure your boyfriend Jimmy is very nice. 1577 01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:27,169 He seems like a very good guy. 1578 01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:30,130 Well, he's not. He left. 1579 01:23:30,631 --> 01:23:33,967 Maxed out all my credit cards, cleaned out my bank account... 1580 01:23:34,134 --> 01:23:35,594 ...jetted out of town. 1581 01:23:35,761 --> 01:23:40,307 He stole my favorite mug. Which was a pretty shitty thing to do. Even for him. 1582 01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:42,935 -I'm really sorry about that. That sucks. -Whatever. 1583 01:23:43,185 --> 01:23:46,104 That's what you get for dating a guy who dates strippers. 1584 01:23:46,647 --> 01:23:47,731 Ah, come on. 1585 01:23:47,898 --> 01:23:50,067 You're a lot more than that, Rose, and you know it. 1586 01:23:51,276 --> 01:23:53,320 [CHUCKLES] 1587 01:23:53,487 --> 01:23:56,323 -What? -Rose is not even my real name. 1588 01:23:58,283 --> 01:23:59,618 What's your real name? 1589 01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:02,204 Sarah. 1590 01:24:02,996 --> 01:24:04,122 With an "h"? 1591 01:24:04,456 --> 01:24:06,833 Yep. Right there at the end. 1592 01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:08,585 It's the best way to spell it. 1593 01:24:08,752 --> 01:24:11,630 -That's what my mother thought. Heh. -Heh. 1594 01:24:13,715 --> 01:24:15,509 Well, David's not my real name either. 1595 01:24:15,926 --> 01:24:18,679 -Really? -I'm being serious. 1596 01:24:19,972 --> 01:24:22,683 Wow. So you're being ser-- 1597 01:24:22,849 --> 01:24:25,852 Well, so then, what's your real name? 1598 01:24:26,228 --> 01:24:27,396 Barbara. 1599 01:24:27,563 --> 01:24:29,815 -Barbara? -Yeah, named after my mom. 1600 01:24:29,982 --> 01:24:32,276 Oh, so, what are you, like, a Barbara Jr.? 1601 01:24:33,610 --> 01:24:35,654 -You're Barbara Jr. -You got it. Yeah, yeah. 1602 01:24:35,821 --> 01:24:38,490 My friends in high school and grade school called me Babs. 1603 01:24:38,657 --> 01:24:40,242 Oh, scarred childhood. 1604 01:24:40,409 --> 01:24:44,329 Not really, not at all. I mean, I was in musical theater, so I was actually revered. 1605 01:24:45,706 --> 01:24:46,748 Very funny. 1606 01:24:48,667 --> 01:24:50,127 You have a hair.... 1607 01:24:52,212 --> 01:24:53,714 Yank, or put behind the ear? 1608 01:24:53,880 --> 01:24:55,090 Guess we could... 1609 01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:57,050 ...tuck it back there. 1610 01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:00,012 [DOOR OPENS] 1611 01:25:00,178 --> 01:25:02,264 Whoa. What's going on in here? 1612 01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:05,642 We should ask you the same thing, young lady! Huh? 1613 01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:07,853 -We've been worried sick. -That's right. 1614 01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:10,188 Why are you guys talking like that? 1615 01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:11,607 Shit, is someone here? 1616 01:25:11,773 --> 01:25:14,735 Yeah! Yeah, us. We're here. That's who's here. 1617 01:25:15,068 --> 01:25:17,529 We didn't know if you were dead in a ditch! Huh? 1618 01:25:17,696 --> 01:25:19,323 ROSE: You couldn't have called? Something? 1619 01:25:19,489 --> 01:25:22,451 Or send one of those text messages you're always sending out? 1620 01:25:22,618 --> 01:25:26,747 "Hey, it's me, Casey, I'm not dead in a ditch." LOL, picture of a whale, #YOLO. 1621 01:25:27,080 --> 01:25:28,540 -Anything! -Okay. 1622 01:25:29,082 --> 01:25:30,542 Fine! Whatever! 1623 01:25:30,709 --> 01:25:32,377 Sorry. 1624 01:25:32,544 --> 01:25:33,837 -Whoa! -Thank you! 1625 01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:35,839 ROSE: Was that so hard? DAVID: Appreciate that. 1626 01:25:36,006 --> 01:25:39,176 -She learned a new word, Rose. ROSE: Thank God. "I'm sorry." 1627 01:25:39,676 --> 01:25:41,511 Un-fucking-believable. 1628 01:25:41,928 --> 01:25:43,305 It's gonna be great. 1629 01:25:44,222 --> 01:25:46,391 Oh! There he is. Kenny! 1630 01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:49,061 -Okay, let's go. -Oh, my God, you look so much better. 1631 01:25:49,227 --> 01:25:51,480 -Doesn't he? -Like a thousand bucks. Let's go. 1632 01:25:54,316 --> 01:25:56,568 -Come on, we gotta hurry. Come on! -Take it easy! 1633 01:25:56,735 --> 01:25:58,570 -Will you just relax?! -Look, I can't-- 1634 01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:00,489 ROSE: Oh, great. -Aah! 1635 01:26:00,656 --> 01:26:03,158 ROSE: Kenny. KENNY: That's my elbow. Oh.... 1636 01:26:03,325 --> 01:26:05,577 ROSE: Are you okay? -I think so. 1637 01:26:05,744 --> 01:26:08,413 Look what happens when you run around like a crazy person. 1638 01:26:08,580 --> 01:26:11,625 What do mean? He's fine. Come on, Ken-doll, hop up. Here we go. 1639 01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:13,919 -What's wrong with you? -What's wrong with me? 1640 01:26:14,086 --> 01:26:16,755 -David! -Look, this job has a deadline... 1641 01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:18,840 ...and it's in four fucking hours. 1642 01:26:19,007 --> 01:26:22,803 If you think I'm gonna lose half a million dollars because of Kenny's boo-boos... 1643 01:26:22,969 --> 01:26:25,263 -...then you're out of your mind. -Whoa. Wait a second. 1644 01:26:25,972 --> 01:26:29,226 You're making half a million dollars on this deal? 1645 01:26:31,561 --> 01:26:35,565 -Uh, roughly. -I cannot believe you. 1646 01:26:35,732 --> 01:26:37,234 Listen to me. I can explain. 1647 01:26:37,401 --> 01:26:42,614 You are making $500,000 and you were only gonna pay me 30? 1648 01:26:42,781 --> 01:26:46,326 You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting a thousand! 1649 01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:48,412 Wait, you guys are getting paid? 1650 01:26:48,578 --> 01:26:50,080 ROSE: You're a liar. -No, no, no. 1651 01:26:50,247 --> 01:26:52,374 -We want to renegotiate. -No. No way. 1652 01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:53,917 -What? David. DAVID: No. No way. 1653 01:26:54,084 --> 01:26:58,213 You made your deal with me, I made my deal with Brad. We're getting out of here. 1654 01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:02,592 See? Good. Casey gets it. We're not renegotiating now. Let's go. 1655 01:27:02,759 --> 01:27:06,596 I believe we are, right now, because you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us. 1656 01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:07,973 You're right about that. 1657 01:27:08,140 --> 01:27:10,892 I'd be in Denver now if it wasn't for you slowing me down. 1658 01:27:11,059 --> 01:27:14,479 Are you shitting--? Slowing you down? What the hell are you talking--? 1659 01:27:15,105 --> 01:27:17,357 Whoa, where the hell are you going? Hey, hey! 1660 01:27:17,524 --> 01:27:19,401 Hey, I said where are you going? 1661 01:27:19,568 --> 01:27:21,653 You know what? You leave, you get nothing. 1662 01:27:21,820 --> 01:27:23,321 I don't want your money, okay? 1663 01:27:23,488 --> 01:27:26,366 Casey, come back. We have to stay together. 1664 01:27:26,533 --> 01:27:28,076 -Come on! -Why? 1665 01:27:28,827 --> 01:27:30,245 Because we're a family? Huh? 1666 01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:33,707 You want to spend Christmas together? Help me with my homework? 1667 01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:37,002 Please. This whole thing has been a total joke. 1668 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:41,173 Oh, no, I'll tell you what the joke is! You want to know what the--? 1669 01:27:42,174 --> 01:27:43,300 The j-- 1670 01:27:43,759 --> 01:27:45,427 I'm not gonna tell you the joke! 1671 01:27:45,594 --> 01:27:48,805 You don't deserve to hear the joke! Let's go. 1672 01:27:48,972 --> 01:27:51,433 -I don't think you knew the joke. -I knew a joke. 1673 01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,310 We have to go back and get her. 1674 01:27:53,477 --> 01:27:56,021 What? Are you kidding me? She left! Screw her, okay? 1675 01:27:56,188 --> 01:27:57,856 Are you coming with me or not, Rose? 1676 01:27:59,357 --> 01:28:02,736 Fine. I'll slide your check under your door. Kenny, let's go. 1677 01:28:04,488 --> 01:28:06,072 Kenny, come on! Let's go, man. 1678 01:28:06,239 --> 01:28:08,825 We can't leave her, David. It's not right. 1679 01:28:11,536 --> 01:28:12,913 -You know what? -What? 1680 01:28:13,288 --> 01:28:15,081 You all deserve each other. 1681 01:28:18,001 --> 01:28:19,294 Da-- Wha--? 1682 01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:31,640 He'll come back. 1683 01:28:32,349 --> 01:28:33,391 Right? 1684 01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:56,498 SCOTTIE: Yo, girl! 1685 01:28:57,457 --> 01:28:59,835 -I got your text. What's up? -Hey. 1686 01:29:00,001 --> 01:29:01,253 Are you alone? 1687 01:29:01,795 --> 01:29:05,674 Yeah. You think we can go someplace private and talk? 1688 01:29:06,550 --> 01:29:09,094 I know just the spot, you know what I'm saying? Heh-heh. 1689 01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:17,394 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] 1690 01:29:19,980 --> 01:29:21,773 MAN [ON RADIO]: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! 1691 01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:23,567 Great. That's loud. 1692 01:29:24,776 --> 01:29:27,612 [TLC'S "WATERFALLS" PLAYING ON RADIO] 1693 01:29:27,779 --> 01:29:30,115 [CHUCKLES] 1694 01:29:30,282 --> 01:29:31,533 [MUSIC STOPS] 1695 01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:34,911 Yeah, nice try, radio. Nice try. Heh. 1696 01:29:35,579 --> 01:29:37,372 Okay. Ahem. 1697 01:29:37,539 --> 01:29:38,748 Let's get there. 1698 01:29:41,334 --> 01:29:43,128 Hoo. 1699 01:29:44,588 --> 01:29:45,797 Quiet. 1700 01:29:52,679 --> 01:29:54,388 And I knew better too. 1701 01:29:54,556 --> 01:29:56,933 But we were all on the road together... 1702 01:29:57,100 --> 01:29:59,895 ...and it got kind of fun, you know? 1703 01:30:00,729 --> 01:30:01,771 Yeah. Uh-huh. 1704 01:30:02,355 --> 01:30:05,233 And I started thinking of us as kind of like this.... 1705 01:30:06,693 --> 01:30:08,278 Whatever, it's stupid. 1706 01:30:09,321 --> 01:30:11,656 -Fuck them. -Yeah, fuck them. 1707 01:30:11,823 --> 01:30:16,036 Yo, right now, girl, Scottie P. is gonna make you feel real good, know what I'm saying? 1708 01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:18,663 -Ha-ha. -Uh, heh. 1709 01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:21,917 I'm sorry, I'm just feeling kind of cry-ey and that.... 1710 01:30:23,084 --> 01:30:24,961 -I'm just gonna go, okay? -Come on, girl. 1711 01:30:25,128 --> 01:30:27,505 -You texted me. You know what's up. -Scottie. 1712 01:30:27,672 --> 01:30:28,924 ROSE: Hey! 1713 01:30:29,090 --> 01:30:30,258 Get your hands off of her! 1714 01:30:30,424 --> 01:30:31,718 Come here, Casey. 1715 01:30:32,177 --> 01:30:33,803 You put your hands on her again... 1716 01:30:33,970 --> 01:30:36,681 ...I will rip that fucking tattoo right off of your chest. 1717 01:30:36,848 --> 01:30:37,974 You know what I'm saying? 1718 01:30:38,141 --> 01:30:40,226 -Oh, really, bitch? -Yeah, bitch. 1719 01:30:40,393 --> 01:30:43,480 You know what? Why don't you leave the girls alone, man. 1720 01:30:43,647 --> 01:30:45,273 What are you gonna do, eyebrows? 1721 01:30:46,816 --> 01:30:48,234 One... 1722 01:30:48,985 --> 01:30:50,236 ...two.... 1723 01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:51,696 [SCOTTIE GROANS] 1724 01:30:51,863 --> 01:30:53,990 SCOTTIE: Ow! Broke my nose! 1725 01:30:55,492 --> 01:30:58,328 You're an aggressive woman. Know what I'm saying? 1726 01:31:00,830 --> 01:31:01,915 Are you okay? 1727 01:31:02,082 --> 01:31:04,626 I'm fine. That was awesome. You fucking decked him! 1728 01:31:04,793 --> 01:31:07,087 I've dealt with handsy assholes like him at work. 1729 01:31:07,337 --> 01:31:08,630 Let's just get out of here. 1730 01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:10,632 Thanks for the backup. Why the counting? 1731 01:31:10,799 --> 01:31:13,051 If you're gonna punch someone, punch them on one. 1732 01:31:13,218 --> 01:31:14,636 Well, David told me to count. 1733 01:31:14,803 --> 01:31:17,055 David? David hasn't punched anybody ever. 1734 01:31:21,768 --> 01:31:23,812 I think this way. Exit. 1735 01:31:24,604 --> 01:31:27,524 [HUMS FANFARE] 1736 01:31:27,691 --> 01:31:30,235 -I have returned. -Go fuck yourself. 1737 01:31:30,402 --> 01:31:32,070 [SCOFFS] 1738 01:31:32,237 --> 01:31:35,489 This is what I miss, right? The ping-pong action. The repartee. 1739 01:31:35,657 --> 01:31:38,118 "Go fuck yourself." "You go fuck yourself." 1740 01:31:38,284 --> 01:31:42,539 Rose, you say, "Go fuck yourself." Then Kenny's like, "I don't want to fuck anybody." 1741 01:31:42,706 --> 01:31:44,666 -No, we're not getting in the RV. -What? 1742 01:31:44,833 --> 01:31:47,961 Okay. Okay, I know what this is about, and I get it. 1743 01:31:48,461 --> 01:31:51,673 All right? We're gonna split the $500,000. 1744 01:31:51,965 --> 01:31:54,884 Evenly. Betwixt the four of us. 1745 01:31:56,094 --> 01:31:59,180 You guys get what I'm saying here? Kenny, you wanna be like this: "Pfft!" 1746 01:31:59,472 --> 01:32:02,726 Like you're from-- Right? That's a lot of video games, kiddo. 1747 01:32:02,892 --> 01:32:06,312 All right, Casey, you can buy a house, and run away from it. 1748 01:32:06,688 --> 01:32:09,190 You know what I mean? Like, whatever. You get $125,000. 1749 01:32:09,357 --> 01:32:10,483 You get $125,000. 1750 01:32:10,650 --> 01:32:13,361 You get a-- I mean, I'm like fucking Oprah here. You know? 1751 01:32:13,527 --> 01:32:15,655 If she was a white dude at a carnival. 1752 01:32:16,823 --> 01:32:19,743 Okay, look, what do you want? Do you want me to beg? 1753 01:32:19,951 --> 01:32:21,494 Kids? What do you think? 1754 01:32:21,661 --> 01:32:24,372 -That would make me feel a lot better. -Works for me. Sure. 1755 01:32:24,873 --> 01:32:27,042 It's a good thing I'm wearing my begging pants. 1756 01:32:27,250 --> 01:32:29,335 I usually only do this before sex. 1757 01:32:30,879 --> 01:32:33,631 Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going. Please, please. 1758 01:32:33,798 --> 01:32:36,760 Ahem. Let's do it. Here we go. 1759 01:32:36,926 --> 01:32:38,845 Okay! To the RV, let's go. Come on, Babs. 1760 01:32:39,012 --> 01:32:41,222 [LAUGHS] 1761 01:32:42,807 --> 01:32:45,310 DAVID: Whoa, whoa. Slow down. There's clowns everywhere. 1762 01:32:45,477 --> 01:32:46,686 Here, let Pops get in here. 1763 01:32:46,853 --> 01:32:49,147 We're right down here. I parked it next to an RV. 1764 01:32:49,314 --> 01:32:51,900 [EDIE & MELISSA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1765 01:32:52,067 --> 01:32:53,860 [EDIE GASPS] 1766 01:32:54,027 --> 01:32:55,361 -Melissa. -Kenny. 1767 01:32:55,528 --> 01:32:57,072 -Rose! -Edie. 1768 01:32:57,280 --> 01:32:58,531 -Shit. -Shit. 1769 01:32:58,698 --> 01:33:01,034 I never get used to that language. 1770 01:33:02,118 --> 01:33:05,997 What in the H-E-L-L are you people doing here? 1771 01:33:06,331 --> 01:33:07,457 Uh.... Uh, uh-- 1772 01:33:07,624 --> 01:33:09,959 -We came to see the fireworks. -Yeah. Fireworks. 1773 01:33:10,418 --> 01:33:14,672 Us too! That's so weird! They're supposed to be amazing here. 1774 01:33:14,839 --> 01:33:16,299 -Melissa, can we talk? -No. 1775 01:33:16,466 --> 01:33:18,218 -Mom, come on, let's go. -Melissa! 1776 01:33:18,635 --> 01:33:20,762 Why are you being so rude? 1777 01:33:20,929 --> 01:33:23,556 Do you have your period? Do you need a tampon? 1778 01:33:23,723 --> 01:33:26,768 Mom, I don't need a tampon. I don't want to be near these people. 1779 01:33:26,935 --> 01:33:29,062 -Kenny. Let's go. -We should get out of here. 1780 01:33:29,395 --> 01:33:32,357 -What happened last night was wrong. -Oh, boy. 1781 01:33:32,524 --> 01:33:34,067 [GASPS] 1782 01:33:34,234 --> 01:33:35,819 Oh, my God, she knows. 1783 01:33:37,570 --> 01:33:39,613 My daughter knows what we've done. 1784 01:33:40,698 --> 01:33:43,868 Melissa, yes, it was wrong of me to fondle Mrs. Miller's breasts. 1785 01:33:44,494 --> 01:33:48,289 You're right. I'm not gonna deny that it gave me a certain amount of pleasure. 1786 01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:53,586 That said, your father and I are struggling with some serious intimacy issues. 1787 01:33:53,753 --> 01:33:54,921 Okay, no, stop! 1788 01:33:55,088 --> 01:33:56,630 I'm not as tight as I once was. 1789 01:33:56,798 --> 01:33:59,217 -Look.... -He just falls right out. 1790 01:33:59,384 --> 01:34:01,469 It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. 1791 01:34:01,635 --> 01:34:03,847 Ew! What are you talking about? 1792 01:34:04,013 --> 01:34:08,309 I saw Kenny making out with his sister and mother while their dad watched. 1793 01:34:09,686 --> 01:34:11,271 What? Oh, my--! 1794 01:34:11,437 --> 01:34:14,607 -It wasn't quite like that. -That's not exactly what happened. 1795 01:34:14,774 --> 01:34:17,735 Rose isn't my mom, she's not my sister. We're not a real family. 1796 01:34:17,902 --> 01:34:20,071 ROSE: That's enough, son! What are you saying? 1797 01:34:20,238 --> 01:34:23,324 He's been drinking. It's hard to understand. He's being ridiculous. 1798 01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:26,202 David hired us to help him smuggle drugs across the border. 1799 01:34:26,369 --> 01:34:27,829 You're drug dealers? 1800 01:34:28,246 --> 01:34:31,207 No! No, we're drug smugglers. There's a difference. 1801 01:34:31,416 --> 01:34:33,042 There's not a difference. 1802 01:34:33,209 --> 01:34:36,004 Okay, Edie, we can explain, all right? 1803 01:34:36,171 --> 01:34:38,548 ROSE: This is a small misunderstanding. It really is. 1804 01:34:38,715 --> 01:34:41,342 When he says "smuggle," he doesn't know what he's saying. 1805 01:34:41,509 --> 01:34:43,803 -It's not drugs. -He doesn't know what drugs are. 1806 01:34:43,970 --> 01:34:45,930 Seriously. It's just a little tequila. 1807 01:34:47,307 --> 01:34:48,516 What? 1808 01:34:48,682 --> 01:34:49,767 Oh, my God! 1809 01:34:49,934 --> 01:34:53,687 -Hey. Ah, thank God you're alive. ROSE: He's got a gun! 1810 01:34:53,855 --> 01:34:56,024 Listen! Hey, hey, hey. No, no! Wait, wait, wait! 1811 01:34:58,401 --> 01:35:00,361 [DON GRUNTS] 1812 01:35:01,779 --> 01:35:03,114 This is gonna be fun! 1813 01:35:04,365 --> 01:35:06,534 [GRUNTING] 1814 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:15,293 [PANTING] 1815 01:35:15,460 --> 01:35:17,086 I still got it. 1816 01:35:17,253 --> 01:35:18,922 Don's a badass. 1817 01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:21,841 Oh, Don. 1818 01:35:23,717 --> 01:35:25,470 Melissa, go find a police officer. 1819 01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,681 Okay, Don. Don, listen to me. 1820 01:35:28,848 --> 01:35:31,267 No. Drug smuggling, David? 1821 01:35:31,434 --> 01:35:33,436 And to think of the moment we shared. 1822 01:35:33,603 --> 01:35:35,021 No, Don, there's another guy. 1823 01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:37,315 I don't want to hear about other men! 1824 01:35:37,941 --> 01:35:41,402 What? No! No, no! No! There's another guy trying to kill us! 1825 01:35:41,569 --> 01:35:42,987 What? Who? 1826 01:35:43,154 --> 01:35:44,322 Pablo Chacon. 1827 01:35:44,948 --> 01:35:46,032 Pablo Chacon. 1828 01:35:46,199 --> 01:35:47,367 Buenas noches, Millers. 1829 01:35:47,533 --> 01:35:49,244 What is he saying? What does that mean? 1830 01:35:49,410 --> 01:35:51,162 It's a familiar Mexican greeting. 1831 01:35:51,329 --> 01:35:54,457 You in the short jeans and the funny mustache, give me the gun. 1832 01:35:55,749 --> 01:35:56,960 Melissa. 1833 01:35:59,753 --> 01:36:00,922 And the mug. 1834 01:36:03,925 --> 01:36:05,134 Please don't hurt her. 1835 01:36:06,010 --> 01:36:08,888 -Take her. -Are you okay? It's okay. 1836 01:36:12,558 --> 01:36:13,767 Now the keys, please. 1837 01:36:14,310 --> 01:36:15,436 Here. Here, here, here. 1838 01:36:15,769 --> 01:36:19,023 Okay, great. You have your drugs, so you don't have to kill us. 1839 01:36:19,190 --> 01:36:20,942 Oh, I don't have to kill you, huh? 1840 01:36:21,234 --> 01:36:22,277 You take my drugs. 1841 01:36:22,443 --> 01:36:25,446 You make me cross the border into this fucked-up country. 1842 01:36:25,613 --> 01:36:27,781 You try to burn my face with steam! 1843 01:36:27,949 --> 01:36:30,243 -I'm sorry. -You destroy my car! 1844 01:36:32,078 --> 01:36:35,832 And I don't like what you do to my man every time we meet. 1845 01:36:38,167 --> 01:36:40,253 You are the worst family I've ever met. 1846 01:36:41,921 --> 01:36:44,090 But, you're right, I don't have to kill you. 1847 01:36:46,634 --> 01:36:49,012 I want to kill you. All of you. 1848 01:36:49,387 --> 01:36:51,222 Stop. Stop. 1849 01:36:52,890 --> 01:36:55,768 Don't do this. Don't kill these people. 1850 01:36:56,853 --> 01:37:00,481 This is all my fault. I'm the one that did this. I'm the drug dealer here. 1851 01:37:00,648 --> 01:37:02,025 This is an innocent family... 1852 01:37:02,191 --> 01:37:04,444 ...in the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay? 1853 01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:07,030 And this kid? 1854 01:37:07,363 --> 01:37:10,491 This kid's got the biggest fucking heart I've ever seen in my life. 1855 01:37:11,326 --> 01:37:12,952 And I'm lucky to call him a friend. 1856 01:37:13,286 --> 01:37:17,165 Man, an hour ago, I would have killed this girl for you. 1857 01:37:17,332 --> 01:37:20,418 But she's tough as hell. And a lot smarter than me. 1858 01:37:21,711 --> 01:37:23,004 And this one. 1859 01:37:24,589 --> 01:37:27,300 You. Sarah. 1860 01:37:28,343 --> 01:37:30,595 You're the strongest woman I've ever met. 1861 01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:32,513 And you'd make a great mom. 1862 01:37:35,141 --> 01:37:36,684 I love all of them. 1863 01:37:38,770 --> 01:37:39,979 Don't kill them. 1864 01:37:40,563 --> 01:37:41,773 Please. 1865 01:37:42,940 --> 01:37:44,275 Just kill me. 1866 01:37:45,193 --> 01:37:47,695 -Tell you what, I'll make a deal, okay? -Okay. 1867 01:37:47,861 --> 01:37:50,281 I kill you first so you don't watch your family die. 1868 01:37:50,448 --> 01:37:52,283 [FIREWORKS POPPING] 1869 01:37:54,077 --> 01:37:56,287 [ALL SHOUTING] 1870 01:37:58,790 --> 01:38:00,458 [PABLO GROANS] 1871 01:38:01,334 --> 01:38:02,835 KENNY: David. 1872 01:38:11,552 --> 01:38:13,388 MELISSA: Kenny! That was amazing! 1873 01:38:20,186 --> 01:38:21,895 I'd like to think I taught him that. 1874 01:38:22,563 --> 01:38:25,149 MELISSA: Mm. -I know I taught him that. 1875 01:38:26,943 --> 01:38:28,902 Put that tongue back in your mouth, young man. 1876 01:38:30,696 --> 01:38:31,989 Oh. 1877 01:38:32,156 --> 01:38:34,033 Wow. 1878 01:38:34,200 --> 01:38:36,702 -You kiss a lot better than my sister. -Hey! 1879 01:38:38,871 --> 01:38:40,164 -One, two, three. -Mm-hm. 1880 01:38:49,549 --> 01:38:53,553 Well, Mr. Chacon, on behalf of the United States of America... 1881 01:38:53,719 --> 01:38:55,805 ...I'd like to welcome you to our country. 1882 01:38:55,972 --> 01:38:57,348 Grab a seat. 1883 01:38:58,391 --> 01:39:00,768 Sorry you won't get to experience the freedom part. 1884 01:39:01,144 --> 01:39:03,187 Don, you're my hero. 1885 01:39:03,604 --> 01:39:06,149 [BOTH MOANING] 1886 01:39:07,150 --> 01:39:09,026 I want you to use those zip ties tonight. 1887 01:39:09,193 --> 01:39:10,987 [DON GIGGLES] 1888 01:39:22,956 --> 01:39:24,000 Here. 1889 01:39:24,792 --> 01:39:26,085 Thank you, David. 1890 01:39:28,713 --> 01:39:31,048 -We're gonna go. -Not so fast. 1891 01:39:31,215 --> 01:39:32,467 EDIE: Oh, no, Don. MELISSA: Dad, please. 1892 01:39:32,633 --> 01:39:34,093 Girls, hush. 1893 01:39:36,888 --> 01:39:38,806 I believe that you are good people. 1894 01:39:38,972 --> 01:39:41,100 But you broke the law. All of you. 1895 01:39:41,392 --> 01:39:44,854 And worse than that, you put my wife and daughter's lives in danger. 1896 01:39:45,396 --> 01:39:48,274 -Sorry. -Gonna have to place you under arrest. 1897 01:39:48,441 --> 01:39:49,983 EDIE: Don, why? MELISSA: No, Dad, don't. 1898 01:39:50,151 --> 01:39:52,153 DON: And I'm gonna do just that... 1899 01:39:52,320 --> 01:39:54,197 ...right after I turn around... 1900 01:39:55,114 --> 01:39:56,407 ...and hug my family. 1901 01:40:09,002 --> 01:40:10,505 David, come on. 1902 01:40:18,304 --> 01:40:19,514 BRAD: It's all here! 1903 01:40:19,931 --> 01:40:22,391 I am blown away, David. Great job. 1904 01:40:22,850 --> 01:40:24,977 But it's late. 1905 01:40:25,436 --> 01:40:28,356 Deadline was last night, so, sorry, buddy, no deal. 1906 01:40:29,315 --> 01:40:32,360 Brad, I almost got killed over this shit. Twice. 1907 01:40:32,527 --> 01:40:36,322 I'm not gonna be an asshole about this. I got two tons of premium weed. 1908 01:40:36,656 --> 01:40:40,409 Yes! And you got Chacon pinched in the process... 1909 01:40:40,576 --> 01:40:43,704 -...which is a huge win for team Brad. -Mm-hm. 1910 01:40:43,871 --> 01:40:47,040 So how about we shake hands and call it even. 1911 01:40:47,208 --> 01:40:48,459 [SCOFFS] 1912 01:40:49,752 --> 01:40:53,631 -You were never gonna pay me, were you? -Oh! Bingo. Heh-heh. 1913 01:40:54,966 --> 01:40:57,176 Was that a dick move? I can't even tell anymore. 1914 01:40:58,261 --> 01:41:00,304 [ALL SHOUTING] 1915 01:41:00,471 --> 01:41:02,223 AGENT 1: Move! AGENT 2: Go! Go! Go! 1916 01:41:03,056 --> 01:41:04,100 DEA! 1917 01:41:05,017 --> 01:41:07,228 -Down, down, down! AGENT 3: Get on the ground! Freeze! 1918 01:41:09,397 --> 01:41:10,856 Clear! 1919 01:41:13,150 --> 01:41:14,318 You double-crossed me. 1920 01:41:14,652 --> 01:41:16,195 Kind of a dick move, right? 1921 01:41:17,280 --> 01:41:18,823 BRAD: You got nothing on me! 1922 01:41:19,115 --> 01:41:20,533 Nothing at all. 1923 01:41:21,534 --> 01:41:24,120 Oh, shit! Look at this guy. 1924 01:41:24,287 --> 01:41:26,163 Who let in 50 Cent? 1925 01:41:27,748 --> 01:41:29,959 -Nice work, David. -Thank you, Don. 1926 01:41:30,126 --> 01:41:32,211 Now, I know you don't get your money... 1927 01:41:32,378 --> 01:41:35,506 ...but doing the right thing had to feel a whole lot better. 1928 01:41:35,923 --> 01:41:37,300 No. 1929 01:41:37,925 --> 01:41:39,302 All right, maybe a little bit. 1930 01:41:39,468 --> 01:41:43,973 As promised, in exchange for your testimony against Chacon and Gurdlinger... 1931 01:41:44,140 --> 01:41:47,435 ...we have to keep you in witness protection for three to six months. 1932 01:41:47,602 --> 01:41:50,021 -Just me? -Just you. 1933 01:41:52,607 --> 01:41:56,485 Oh. And any other witnesses to the crime. 1934 01:42:00,948 --> 01:42:02,867 [BICYCLE BELL RINGS] 1935 01:42:07,330 --> 01:42:09,165 DAVID [ON COMPUTER]: There you are. ROSE: I don't care. 1936 01:42:09,332 --> 01:42:11,334 -Look at this hot nerd. DAVID: Rub some dirt on it. 1937 01:42:11,500 --> 01:42:13,044 -What are you doing? -Look at this. 1938 01:42:13,210 --> 01:42:15,046 [CHATTERING ON COMPUTER] 1939 01:42:15,212 --> 01:42:19,050 You gotta tell Casey to stop posting this stuff. It's already got a million hits... 1940 01:42:19,383 --> 01:42:20,635 ...and growing. 1941 01:42:20,801 --> 01:42:23,804 Okay, okay, I'll tell her after lunch. Oof, you know what else? 1942 01:42:23,971 --> 01:42:25,514 I can see down your tank top. 1943 01:42:32,271 --> 01:42:33,397 DAN: Hey there. -Hey. 1944 01:42:33,564 --> 01:42:36,692 -Wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Dan. -Hey, Dan. 1945 01:42:36,859 --> 01:42:38,694 My wife, Kathy. We just moved in. 1946 01:42:39,152 --> 01:42:40,571 DAVID: Hello. -We're the Johnsons. 1947 01:42:40,738 --> 01:42:42,823 Oh, great. Welcome to the neighborhood. 1948 01:42:43,282 --> 01:42:44,825 Hey, guys. Come here. 1949 01:42:44,992 --> 01:42:46,285 Come meet our neighbors. 1950 01:42:46,452 --> 01:42:49,705 I'm David. And this is my family right here. 1951 01:42:49,872 --> 01:42:51,123 This is my son, Kenny. 1952 01:42:51,290 --> 01:42:52,458 My daughter, Casey. 1953 01:42:52,625 --> 01:42:55,168 -And this is my wife, Sarah. -Nice to meet you. 1954 01:42:55,336 --> 01:42:57,880 -We're the Millers. DAN: Ah. Pleasure. 1955 01:42:58,047 --> 01:43:00,383 Thanks for saying hi. All right, take care now. 1956 01:43:00,549 --> 01:43:02,426 KATHY: See you soon. Bye. -Bye. 1957 01:43:02,760 --> 01:43:04,970 ROSE: I don't like them. DAVID: I don't like them either. 1958 01:43:05,137 --> 01:43:07,556 Why introduce yourself? I mean, who the fuck are you? 1959 01:43:07,723 --> 01:43:10,726 ROSE: I can't believe this. We're stuck in the suburbs. 1960 01:43:10,893 --> 01:43:14,855 DAVID: Now, this sucks. I can't wait for the trial to be over. Gotta get out of here. 1961 01:43:20,236 --> 01:43:21,278 Stick to the big A. 1962 01:43:21,445 --> 01:43:22,988 -Anal. -Abstinence, you meant. 1963 01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:24,949 -Neither makes a baby. -He confuses-- 1964 01:43:25,116 --> 01:43:27,785 Oscars! For all of you! 1965 01:43:27,952 --> 01:43:30,955 That's very nice of you, but we're not that good of an actor, no. 1966 01:43:32,456 --> 01:43:33,708 [CREW LAUGHING] 1967 01:43:34,417 --> 01:43:36,711 -Those guys are picking on that girl. -Where? 1968 01:43:36,877 --> 01:43:38,629 [KENNY LAUGHING] 1969 01:43:39,046 --> 01:43:40,297 MAN: And, action. 1970 01:43:42,466 --> 01:43:44,385 It takes two men to open this mini-fridge. 1971 01:43:44,927 --> 01:43:46,971 Aah! 1972 01:43:47,138 --> 01:43:51,016 It's literally so hard! 1973 01:43:52,225 --> 01:43:54,437 -Okay, you guys, seriously, you're mak-- CREW: Ha-ha-ha! 1974 01:43:54,979 --> 01:43:56,897 MAN: Look, look, look. -Leave the girls alone. 1975 01:43:57,064 --> 01:44:00,151 What are you gonna do, freckles? What are you gonna do, Don Knotts? 1976 01:44:00,317 --> 01:44:02,445 What are you gonna do, guy with great posture? 1977 01:44:03,154 --> 01:44:04,572 [GRUNTS] 1978 01:44:04,739 --> 01:44:06,907 SCOTTIE: Ow! Broke my nose! 1979 01:44:07,283 --> 01:44:09,535 I'm terrified of blood, you know what I'm saying? 1980 01:44:09,869 --> 01:44:12,788 You just deviated my septum, you know what I'm saying? 1981 01:44:12,955 --> 01:44:16,417 Uh, I want a Band-Aid. 1982 01:44:17,209 --> 01:44:18,627 [GRUNTING] 1983 01:44:26,259 --> 01:44:27,928 [BOTH GIGGLING] 1984 01:44:28,095 --> 01:44:29,930 [CREW LAUGHING] 1985 01:44:31,056 --> 01:44:33,726 It just stopped at a certain point... 1986 01:44:33,893 --> 01:44:36,312 ...and you just couldn't insert it any more. 1987 01:44:36,479 --> 01:44:39,648 Well, I just looked like I had, like, a Stormtrooper dick. 1988 01:44:39,815 --> 01:44:42,526 [ALL LAUGHING] 1989 01:44:43,068 --> 01:44:46,113 So I'm just gonna-- There we go. There they are. 1990 01:44:46,279 --> 01:44:47,364 This is crazy. 1991 01:44:47,531 --> 01:44:50,618 Those are just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous breasts. 1992 01:44:51,952 --> 01:44:52,995 [SNORTS] 1993 01:44:53,162 --> 01:44:54,830 MAN 1: Cut! All right. Cut. 1994 01:44:55,456 --> 01:44:57,208 MAN 2: And, action. -Whoo! 1995 01:44:57,374 --> 01:45:00,252 -How about a little victory music, shall we? -Yes, please. 1996 01:45:00,961 --> 01:45:03,255 [THE REMBRANDTS' "I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU" PLAYING ON RADIO] 1997 01:45:03,422 --> 01:45:05,090 -I love this song! -This is awesome! 1998 01:45:05,382 --> 01:45:06,675 [DAVID WHOOPS] 1999 01:45:08,636 --> 01:45:13,390 [SINGING] You're job's a joke, you're broke Your love life's D.O.A. 2000 01:45:13,557 --> 01:45:16,560 I'll be there for you 2001 01:45:16,727 --> 01:45:18,229 When the rain starts to fall 2002 01:45:18,395 --> 01:45:21,565 I'll be there for you 2003 01:45:21,732 --> 01:45:24,276 'Cause you're there for me too 2004 01:45:24,443 --> 01:45:26,779 That was really good. 2005 01:45:26,946 --> 01:45:28,531 [ALL LAUGHING] 2006 01:45:28,697 --> 01:45:30,950 That's very funny. 2007 01:49:41,450 --> 01:49:43,452 ONE-EYE: Adiós, Millers. 157288

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