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1
00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:14,300
Are you recording?
2
00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:17,050
Alright, let's do this.
3
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,560
Anyone have a Kleenex?
4
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,190
Okay.
5
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:35,770
Cleveland Municipal Stadium.
6
00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:39,820
Ground was broken on June 24th, 1930.
7
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The three million dollar
facility officially opened
8
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,740
just over a year later,
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00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,870
and become home to the Cleveland Indians
10
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,040
and Chief Wahoo.
11
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:51,460
The Indians won the World Series in '48,
12
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:54,510
and won the American
League pennant in '54.
13
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:57,050
The Browns were a championship team.
14
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:01,100
Local DJ Alan Freed introduced
the world to Rock and Roll.
15
00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:04,640
Cleveland was a great place to live.
16
00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:07,060
Then the slump kicked in.
17
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,430
Decades of heartbreak.
18
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,980
Bad trades and bad luck.
19
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,060
The curse of Rocky Colavito.
20
00:01:13,150 --> 00:01:16,390
In '69, the Cuyahoga River caught fire,
21
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:19,150
and the story made Time Magazine.
22
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,780
That incident turned Cleveland
into the worst kind of joke
23
00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,830
a running joke.
24
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,120
The city had gained a catchy slogan:
25
00:01:28,210 --> 00:01:30,580
The Mistake on the Lake.
26
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,820
Hi, Nick, this is Fairview Park
27
00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:24,090
Senior Care calling.
28
00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:25,760
Your mother is feeling tired today.
29
00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:27,810
We don't think she
should go out in the cold.
30
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,230
We're paging the doctors.
It's nothing to worry about.
31
00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:32,930
She said she'll call you in the morning.
32
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,770
Hey, what's going on, amigo?
33
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:40,480
Yeah, I need you to vaminos
over to my house,
34
00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:43,160
take me by my brother's place.
35
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,570
Come on, man.
36
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:49,200
It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day.
37
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:51,450
Merry Christmas!
38
00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:52,660
Hey, Valerie.
39
00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:54,540
What's crack-a-lackin', girl?
40
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,840
Yes. Yes, you can
be on the clock.
41
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,840
Alright.
42
00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,510
Thank You.
43
00:03:03,970 --> 00:03:05,800
Not in that shirt.
44
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:20,850
Hey, what's going on?
45
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,190
Hey, Luis.
46
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,690
So where does your brother live?
47
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:27,150
In those rich-ass old houses
over by Lakewood Park.
48
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,110
Oh, there are some
really nice homes over there.
49
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,450
He sure as hell didn't
pay for his, believe me.
50
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:36,410
A present.
51
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,330
Huh.
Thanks, Luis.
52
00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:45,590
You're my Number 1 Guy.
53
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,550
And I'm your Number One Boss.
54
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,220
The family business keeps me afloat.
55
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:52,800
Dad started Wilkins Landscape
with a lawnmower,
56
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:55,010
a pickup truck, and a dream.
57
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:59,570
Now 40 years later the business
is still alive but barely.
58
00:03:59,650 --> 00:04:03,020
Bet you never gave this
to your bosses in Mexico.
59
00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:05,780
Puerto Rico.
60
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,320
Same thing.
61
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:08,990
It's not.
62
00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:11,450
Yeah, it kind of is.
63
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,960
It's a commonwealth
of the United States.
64
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,040
What?
65
00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:27,880
Gotta get gifts first, Luis.
66
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,420
Oh!
67
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:31,970
Blue tape.
68
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,470
Everybody needs blue tape
every once in a while.
69
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,720
They got a teenage boy at the house.
70
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,480
Kids love flashlights.
They go nuts for them.
71
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,930
Blank VHS.
72
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,360
Who doesn't like blank VHS?
73
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,150
Nobody.
74
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,480
That's it for gifts.
75
00:04:45,570 --> 00:04:49,070
Alright, let's party.
76
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,490
Good?
Yeah.
77
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,660
I need something that a girl will drink,
78
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,660
something with a little punch to it.
79
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:59,660
Oh, Luis, you have a daughter.
80
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,490
She drink stuff like this?
81
00:05:01,590 --> 00:05:05,170
Oh, she doesn't drink.
She's only 12.
82
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,790
She's drinking.
83
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,550
Believe me, they all drink.
84
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,010
Probably.
85
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,260
One last thing.
86
00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:15,640
Ladies like this Fire and Ice stuff?
87
00:05:15,730 --> 00:05:17,010
Yeah.
88
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,180
Alright.
89
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,640
It's gonna be an awesome night.
90
00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:25,640
June 4, 1974,
91
00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:27,730
the Cleveland Indians where
scheduled to take on
92
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,860
the Texas Rangers.
93
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:32,690
That year, attendance at
Municipal Stadium averaged
94
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,080
a paltry 8,000 people a game,
95
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:40,000
but on this night
over 25,000 would show up.
96
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,370
They came for 10 cent beer.
97
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,210
Management thought this promotion
98
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:48,710
would be a great way
to drive up attendance.
99
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,470
Who could say no to
a cup of brew for a dime?
100
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,890
You could buy up to 6 beers at one time.
101
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,930
There was no cutoff.
102
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,940
The Indians had played the Rangers
103
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,980
six days before in Texas.
104
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:06,030
There was bench-clearing brawl
and plenty of hard feelings.
105
00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:09,400
But the real anger
was brewing in the stands.
106
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:13,070
The Rangers needed to be taught a lesson.
107
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,530
The citizens of Cleveland
had been kicked in the gut
108
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,580
for far too long.
109
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:22,830
Tonight they were going to fight back.
110
00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:33,590
Marcus!
111
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:34,720
What?
112
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,510
Pause your game and get in here.
113
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,430
I can't just pause it,
I'm playing online.
114
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,730
Fucking bullshit!
115
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:41,890
Hey, language!
116
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,940
I'll be there when the match is over.
117
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,060
So help me God,
118
00:06:45,150 --> 00:06:48,810
if I come in there and you're
still playing that thing
119
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:49,900
Sophie.
120
00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:50,780
She ended her marriage
121
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:52,860
so she could have a trophy husband:
122
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,660
My stupid brother.
123
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:55,780
Oh, no, honey,
124
00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:58,030
you're not going to wear
this tonight, are you?
125
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,030
I got to advertise my shirt designs.
126
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,040
Get the word out, get paid.
127
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:05,460
God, I hate my brother.
128
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,910
I hate everything about him.
129
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,790
He's the baby of the family,
130
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,550
an accident,
131
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:16,050
who's always skated by on looks and charm.
132
00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:19,220
Can you just put on a nice
shirt like a normal husband?
133
00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:20,680
It's Christmas Eve.
134
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:21,480
Okay.
135
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,210
And now I have to go over there
136
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:25,100
and celebrate Christmas with him
137
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,400
and his rich cougar new wife.
138
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:28,850
I'd rather be at a bar.
139
00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:31,650
Okay, okay, can you get
Marcus to come in here
140
00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,320
and finish making the popcorn garland?
141
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,650
And he's been playing since
he got up this morning.
142
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,900
Well, let him play.
I can handle that job.
143
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,330
No, leave it.
You'll screw it up.
144
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:41,320
That's not what I meant.
145
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:44,330
Can you go find Valerie?
She knows how I like it.
146
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:44,880
Alright.
147
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,670
But I'm going over there anyway.
148
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:49,620
To see her.
Valerie?
149
00:07:51,090 --> 00:07:52,330
Hey, Val
150
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,920
Ugh, just come in, I can't hear you.
151
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,410
Hey, your mom, she needs
help with the popcorn garland.
152
00:07:58,430 --> 00:08:00,140
Valerie.
Fuck the garland.
153
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,890
Yeah, I know, it's annoying, but
154
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:04,690
Tonight she'll be mine.
155
00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,140
Hey, is your brother Nick
coming over today?
156
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:08,940
That's what he said.
157
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,190
Awesome!
That guy is a riot.
158
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,480
You talk to him?
159
00:08:12,570 --> 00:08:14,730
Yeah, on Facebook sometimes.
160
00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:17,530
Why?
Because he's a loser.
161
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,700
You sound jealous.
162
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,450
Jealous of a drunk that got a DUI
163
00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:23,200
in front of his own house?
164
00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:25,080
I don't think so.
165
00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:33,340
Santa's here!
166
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,260
You need to lock your door!
167
00:08:36,340 --> 00:08:38,880
Look at this house.
168
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:43,300
Must be nice to marry into money.
169
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,600
Oh, Nick.
170
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:48,690
Hi!
171
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:50,940
Um, I didn't hear the doorbell ring
172
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,110
and you're early.
173
00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:54,780
Um, dinner is at 6.
It's 3.
174
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,900
We're family now.
175
00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:57,990
Oh.
176
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:01,030
Uhh ugh
okay
177
00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:04,410
I can take your coat.
178
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,370
Nah, I'm good.
179
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,500
Hey, doc, I got a question.
180
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:13,250
Um, I have this little pain
181
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:15,550
and then the skin feels tight
182
00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:19,000
and weird and then there's,
like, an indentation.
183
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,680
Um, that's a stretch mark.
You're gaining weight.
184
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,600
Awesome.
185
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,220
Saved me a co-pay.
186
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:29,140
There is a difference
between pharmaceutical sales
187
00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:30,470
and being a doctor.
188
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,270
Can you sell me some Vicodin?
189
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,690
No.
190
00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:37,110
How about a little Viagra?
191
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,110
For a buddy.
192
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,940
Okay, I'm going to let you get to it.
193
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:43,990
I have to check on the cookies.
194
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:50,790
Joy to the world
195
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:56,710
The Lord is come
196
00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:05,850
Let Earth receive her King
197
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:10,100
Uncle Nick!
198
00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:12,440
Hey, girl.
199
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,650
What's crack-a-lackin'?
200
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:19,950
Ugh, I'm just making
this popcorn garland.
201
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,570
So, uh, what's in the bags?
202
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:26,240
It's just some gifts
for White Elephant
203
00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:29,570
and some drinks for the adults.
204
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,000
I'm an adult.
205
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,790
No, don't even think about it.
206
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,420
But Mom, it's Christmas.
207
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,620
Yeah.
Come on, Mom.
208
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,170
I'm sorry, I said no.
209
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,840
How about wine with dinner?
210
00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:43,790
Yeah.
Dad lets me have a glass.
211
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:46,350
Well, then why don't you
go to his house?
212
00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:48,240
If you want to spend
Christmas Eve with your father
213
00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:49,580
instead of your family, be my guest.
214
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,180
Dad is my family.
215
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:52,600
You know what I mean.
216
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,770
Whoa, whoa, ladies,
217
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:57,190
let's save the fighting for
when we're all drunk, huh?
218
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,070
Nick, please.
219
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,230
Before the game had even started,
220
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:16,540
firecrackers and smoke bombs
were set off in the stands.
221
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:20,840
A hazy, murky cloud began to
drift over the game's attendees.
222
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,210
They were drinking cheap beer
223
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,760
and making their own entertainment.
224
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,960
The first person to run on the field
225
00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:30,390
was a large woman with an ample bosom.
226
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,930
The crowd loved it.
227
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:35,060
She tried to put moves
on umpire Nestor Chilack.
228
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,730
He rejected her affections.
229
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:41,480
That was only the first display
of nudity from the crowd.
230
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,490
This streaker found an interesting way
231
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:53,040
to get some painful abrasions.
232
00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:03,130
Great house, man.
233
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,460
It looks like a Pottery Barn
234
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:09,090
fucked a Restoration Hardware in here.
235
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,880
In a good way.
236
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,310
I hope we have enough.
237
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,100
To Dad.
238
00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:18,770
To Dad.
239
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:28,820
What's the matter,
you can't put 'em back anymore?
240
00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:30,780
Oh, the funny old man.
241
00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:31,950
Well, baby brother,
242
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,000
where do you keep that
fruity shit you drink?
243
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,730
Got a little wine cellar
in the basement,
244
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:37,990
if that's what you mean.
245
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,450
Dude, what the fuck is a tannin anyway?
246
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:41,580
It's complicated.
247
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,110
Well, maybe you could explain it to me
248
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,840
like I'm some dried-up
Lakewood hag.
249
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,790
I don't work at the wine bar anymore.
250
00:12:47,890 --> 00:12:51,220
Oh, that's right,
251
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,170
you're a stay-at-home mom now.
252
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:55,510
Is that like when you used
to stay home from school
253
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,640
and sit around all day
watching The Price Is Right,
254
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,350
fucking the couch?
255
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,400
Uh, uh
Take that, Plinko!
256
00:13:03,490 --> 00:13:05,690
Work the shaft, Bob Barker,
work the shaft!
257
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,090
You're really going to make me regret
258
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,480
inviting you over today, huh?
259
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,820
Probably.
260
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,740
Great, then it'll be
just like my wedding.
261
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:13,690
I don't remember your wedding.
262
00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:21,710
This is how we do it
263
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,710
I remember everything.
264
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:31,380
Just keep it together, okay?
265
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:33,210
It's our first real Christmas as a family.
266
00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:44,900
Oh, uh, Nick.
267
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,150
Put that out.
268
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,600
I will when I find an ashtray.
269
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:52,190
No, no, um No, no,
this is a no-smoking house
270
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,400
so I'm sorry ugh
271
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,700
but if you have to smoke
you have to go outside.
272
00:13:57,790 --> 00:14:00,080
I'll freeze my balls off out there
273
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:02,250
and you don't want to see me
without a cigarette.
274
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,170
It's like this but worse.
275
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:08,220
Well, then
you can use Cody's studio.
276
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,890
Cody has a studio?
277
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,060
What the fuck?
278
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,420
The latest in a long line
279
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,730
of my brother's failed careers.
280
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:33,190
And now he's apparently
a T-shirt designer?
281
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,070
Futtbucker.
282
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,740
What a douche.
283
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,660
Can I bum a cigarette?
284
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:46,620
You smoke?
285
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:49,830
Of course.
It makes my mom so happy.
286
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,720
What is all of this?
287
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:01,300
Co-Tees.
288
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,150
It's a play on words.
289
00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:05,810
No, I get it.
290
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,730
He, like, set up
a website and everything.
291
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,730
And I actually model for him sometimes.
292
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:13,060
Yeah?
You like doing that?
293
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,820
Yeah, it's fun actually.
294
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,490
Plus, who knows?
295
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:20,790
Maybe one day
I'll be on a runway in Paris.
296
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:24,660
I could see that.
Oh, yeah?
297
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,920
This whole t-shirt thing
is news to me.
298
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,590
When did Cody start this?
299
00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:31,260
Ah, when my mom made him
quit the wine bar.
300
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,330
She made him quit?
301
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:34,820
Yeah, so that way
he wouldn't have to work
302
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:38,210
weird hours anymore and never be at home.
303
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:40,140
And now he can just do whatever he wants
304
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,180
and follow his dreams.
305
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:44,260
Fuck.
306
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,110
Can I use your glass?
307
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,160
Yeah, sure.
308
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,430
Damn, girl.
You were thirsty, huh?
309
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,880
Yeah, don't tell my mom.
310
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,890
I can keep a secret.
311
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,930
I bet you can.
312
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,900
Do you have a girlfriend?
313
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,070
No.
314
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,860
Not really.
315
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:39,410
Yeah, but I bet you have
fuckbuddies, right?
316
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,610
I get around, I guess.
317
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,820
What about you?
Do you have anyone?
318
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,500
No.
319
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,920
I'm not really interested
in having some relationship.
320
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,090
I just want to have fun
321
00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:55,880
and not worry about getting
some jealous guy upset.
322
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:59,920
Yeah.
You're a smart girl.
323
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:01,760
Guys your age,
324
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:03,470
all they know how to do is how to mimic
325
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,140
whatever they've seen on Bang Bus.
326
00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:07,440
It's an epidemic.
327
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,760
It's all about anal sex
328
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:13,570
and blowin' it on some
poor girl's tits and
329
00:17:13,650 --> 00:17:14,940
ah, Jesus
330
00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:16,520
well, you sorry.
331
00:17:16,610 --> 00:17:19,150
But you know what I mean, right?
332
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,830
I probably said too much.
333
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,700
But it was the truth.
334
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:28,660
I should go before my mom catches me.
335
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:33,550
If you need another drink
or smoke or whatever,
336
00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:36,750
you know where I am.
337
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,970
A couple more drinks,
338
00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:43,010
then things will start
getting interesting.
339
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,190
In the third inning,
340
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,820
the beer was flowing
341
00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:05,870
and the crowd was having a good time.
342
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,500
That didn't last long.
343
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,750
They were one step away
344
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,550
from taking the night
to an unpleasant place.
345
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,690
Writing a journal?
346
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,980
Blog?
347
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,580
You like pussy?
348
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,670
Just making sure you're listening.
349
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,670
You're a real conversationalist, Marcus.
350
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,130
The back and forth here
is really something.
351
00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,210
It's hard to believe
that you're my uncle.
352
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,640
You're sort of like a weird homeless dude
353
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:12,090
who just kind of wandered in here.
354
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,940
Well, believe it, nephew,
355
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:19,140
my asshole brother married
your mom on Valentine's Day.
356
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:23,570
Well, we can agree on
something: Cody is an asshole.
357
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:24,690
Big time.
358
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,400
What, he's only, like,
15 years older than me
359
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,200
and he wants me to call him Dad?
360
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:30,400
I got a dad.
361
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,740
He's 48, bald, and loves the Browns.
362
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:35,420
Not some 31-year-old douche
363
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:38,250
who makes shitty t-shirts
for a living.
364
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:42,710
Wow, you really know your shit, Marcus.
365
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,470
So, tell me about Valerie.
366
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,170
She thinks she's a model
and hates my mom.
367
00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:51,850
I can see that.
She could defiantly be a model.
368
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:53,520
She's definitely hot enough.
369
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,310
Yeah, right.
370
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,860
She's 5'4 and lives in Cleveland.
371
00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,350
When you have Ohio genetics
372
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,060
your body morphs
into the shape of a tugboat
373
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,520
by the time you're 30.
374
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,070
It's inevitable.
375
00:20:07,410 --> 00:20:10,280
You're alright, Marcus.
376
00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:12,660
You're a whole lot of alright.
377
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,880
Oh, no, I need that for the stuffing.
378
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:28,910
Hey, shouldn't you guys be on your way
379
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:31,010
to the nursing home by now?
380
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,810
Oh, yeah, Mom's not coming.
381
00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:34,850
What? Why?
382
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:36,300
They said she's not feeling good
383
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,890
so they called her doctor
to come check her out.
384
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,610
That's going to cost me more money.
385
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,030
Great. Mom's gonna die
on fucking Christmas.
386
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:46,950
No, she's not.
She's just tired.
387
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:48,820
She needs some rest.
388
00:20:48,910 --> 00:20:51,240
Michelle and Kevin
are still coming, right?
389
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:53,070
I mean, if they don't show up
390
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,120
I will have made this
whole dinner for nothing.
391
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,320
All this
392
00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:58,370
No
I'm glad that you're here, Nick.
393
00:20:58,460 --> 00:21:00,700
I just hate wasting food,
394
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,790
and I've been making a dinner
for eight, not five.
395
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,840
I'll text Michelle.
I'll see what's going on.
396
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:08,040
I'm sure she's just stuck at work.
397
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,010
Yeah, and I'll take home some leftovers.
398
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,430
I bet you will.
399
00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:20,270
I bet you will.
400
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,570
I decide to make
another whisky on the rocks.
401
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,610
Dad liked those.
402
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,600
I need to stop thinking about Emily
403
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:07,560
or this night is going to turn
into a complete disaster.
404
00:22:27,090 --> 00:22:29,050
You're good.
405
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,350
Show me how to play something?
406
00:22:34,890 --> 00:22:37,220
It's not that easy.
407
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,310
Show me where to put my fingers.
Okay.
408
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,890
Alright. Ready?
409
00:22:41,980 --> 00:22:43,390
Yeah.
410
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,780
I'm terrible.
411
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,880
I should go check on that.
412
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:21,100
I need a refill.
413
00:23:30,530 --> 00:23:32,520
Who the fuck's Jon Miller?
414
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:37,580
In the bottom of the fourth inning,
415
00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:39,330
Rangers pitcher Fergie Jenkins
416
00:23:39,410 --> 00:23:41,410
was taken down by a line drive
417
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:44,740
from the bat of Cleveland's Leron Lee.
418
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,620
The ball came so fast,
419
00:23:46,710 --> 00:23:48,950
Jenkins couldn't decide
whether to catch it
420
00:23:49,050 --> 00:23:50,760
or get out of the way.
421
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,550
He ended up getting
hit straight in the gut.
422
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,170
The crowd sprang to life.
423
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:59,180
Not out of concern for the injured player
424
00:23:59,270 --> 00:24:01,880
but because they wanted more.
425
00:24:01,980 --> 00:24:03,680
They wanted blood.
426
00:24:03,770 --> 00:24:05,560
The fuse had been lit.
427
00:24:05,650 --> 00:24:08,110
The crowd began to chant in unison:
428
00:24:08,190 --> 00:24:11,060
Hit him harder.
Hit him harder.
429
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,440
Hit him harder.
430
00:24:13,610 --> 00:24:15,030
Hey, Cody.
Think fast!
431
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,120
Nick!
432
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,240
Jeez, man, you almost broke my phone.
433
00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:19,820
Look at this guy,
434
00:24:19,910 --> 00:24:21,780
sporting a new outfit his wife bought him.
435
00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:22,740
Seriously, dude!
436
00:24:22,830 --> 00:24:24,240
What a little pecker.
437
00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:26,310
You break something in here,
the lady of the house,
438
00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:27,500
not gonna be happy.
439
00:24:27,590 --> 00:24:30,250
Man, you're whipped.
440
00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:35,130
You know, there is nothing
better than a tasty beverage.
441
00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:39,260
Hey, do us a favor, man,
don't drink too much, okay?
442
00:24:39,350 --> 00:24:42,930
Excuse me for wanting
to enjoy my fancy new mug.
443
00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:45,010
Number One Boss.
444
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:46,850
Fucking impressive shit.
445
00:24:46,940 --> 00:24:48,850
That's me.
446
00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:51,600
You know, you should
come work for me, Cody.
447
00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:52,940
Family business.
448
00:24:53,030 --> 00:24:54,360
What dad always wanted.
449
00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:55,560
Not a chance.
450
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:57,740
What's it like to not
have to work for a living?
451
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,410
I work.
452
00:24:58,490 --> 00:25:00,400
Oh, I saw your little
make-believe business
453
00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:02,240
in the garage.
454
00:25:02,330 --> 00:25:04,290
Oh, I'm sorry, your studio.
455
00:25:06,670 --> 00:25:07,830
What was that, Marcus?
456
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,000
I didn't say anything.
457
00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:11,950
That's right. You just
go back to having no life.
458
00:25:12,050 --> 00:25:13,290
Mind your own business.
459
00:25:13,380 --> 00:25:14,870
That's not cool, man.
460
00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:15,970
No, man.
Kids like him,
461
00:25:16,010 --> 00:25:17,320
they spend their whole day
on the internet,
462
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:19,460
they think they got the world figured out.
463
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,390
Let me ask you something,
Marcus. When
464
00:25:21,470 --> 00:25:23,760
When was the last time you had sex?
465
00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:25,510
Or better yet,
466
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,770
when was the last time you kissed a chick?
467
00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:30,640
You know what you're good at, Marcus?
468
00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:32,570
Stuffing your fat face with junk food
469
00:25:32,650 --> 00:25:34,190
and playing video games all day.
470
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,560
Congratulations, my man.
471
00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:38,020
It's gonna get you real far in life.
472
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:44,700
Hey. Do not listen
to that dickwad.
473
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,740
Hey, Marcus, think fast!
474
00:25:49,670 --> 00:25:51,460
Oh, dude!
Marcus!
475
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,660
Go ahead and blame that on me.
476
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:57,050
Do not worry about it, okay?
It's totally cool.
477
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,640
I've had one too many too early.
478
00:26:19,450 --> 00:26:22,440
What's she interested in?
479
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,500
Nice tits.
480
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,250
Oh, shit.
481
00:26:36,550 --> 00:26:38,790
The booze caught up with me too fast.
482
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,130
This isn't good.
483
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,060
There, that's better.
484
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,980
Time for Round 2.
485
00:26:54,820 --> 00:26:56,810
You disappeared upstairs for a bit.
486
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,690
Is everything okay?
487
00:27:02,990 --> 00:27:05,320
Do you have a boyfriend?
488
00:27:05,410 --> 00:27:06,570
No.
489
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:09,620
We went over this, remember?
490
00:27:09,710 --> 00:27:13,750
Yeah, I know, it's just
491
00:27:15,670 --> 00:27:17,330
Ah, never mind.
492
00:27:17,420 --> 00:27:21,290
Okay well, now you
have to say something.
493
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:24,420
Is that how it works?
Uh-huh.
494
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:26,550
I just
495
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,510
When you left me at the piano?
496
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,970
You left your phone behind.
497
00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:33,680
Were you going through my phone?
498
00:27:33,770 --> 00:27:34,930
No!
499
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:36,760
No, I would never.
500
00:27:36,860 --> 00:27:39,020
That's something
a creep would do. Yuck.
501
00:27:39,110 --> 00:27:41,730
No, I just glanced over when it lit up,
502
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:46,190
out of pure reflex
and you know.
503
00:27:46,950 --> 00:27:48,910
What did you see?
504
00:27:49,620 --> 00:27:51,450
Kind of a racy text.
505
00:27:51,540 --> 00:27:53,910
Yeah. That.
506
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,960
Do you like that?
507
00:27:58,050 --> 00:28:00,130
Sexting?
508
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:03,170
Sometimes, yeah.
509
00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:06,670
Who's this guy?
510
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,880
Jon?
511
00:28:07,970 --> 00:28:10,010
You don't know him.
512
00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:14,220
You know, you could send me
a message like that some time.
513
00:28:14,770 --> 00:28:16,850
Just as a goof.
514
00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:19,100
You know what?
Forget it.
515
00:28:19,190 --> 00:28:21,690
Nah, I don't even care,
Like, I don't give a fuck.
516
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:23,440
But if you were bored
517
00:28:23,530 --> 00:28:27,740
I, you know, have a lot of texts
on my phone plan
518
00:28:27,830 --> 00:28:30,570
that I never use, you know, thousands,
519
00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:35,750
and it just seems like a waste,
so then next month it's
520
00:28:35,830 --> 00:28:38,830
two thousand, you know
521
00:28:39,670 --> 00:28:43,130
You should get your money's worth.
522
00:28:44,970 --> 00:28:47,180
Holy shit.
523
00:28:52,270 --> 00:28:53,130
Val,
524
00:28:53,230 --> 00:28:55,260
you know how upsets me when you smoke.
525
00:28:55,350 --> 00:28:58,220
She's not.
I'm not.
526
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,310
Nick, are you ok?
527
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,360
Yeah, I'm awesome.
528
00:29:03,030 --> 00:29:05,610
Val, come in and set the dinner table.
529
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:07,680
Are you gonna ask Marcus
to do anything, or just me?
530
00:29:07,700 --> 00:29:09,660
Now.
531
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,080
Hold on.
532
00:29:19,170 --> 00:29:20,580
Have you been drinking?
533
00:29:20,670 --> 00:29:23,540
No, alright? God!
534
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,430
Don't corrupt my daughter.
535
00:29:28,510 --> 00:29:31,880
I'm not.
I'm a positive influence.
536
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,520
Of course you are.
537
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:37,060
But your daughter is twenty
and in college.
538
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:39,390
I should be the least of your worries.
539
00:29:42,530 --> 00:29:44,560
Are you going to answer that?
540
00:29:44,650 --> 00:29:46,520
No.
541
00:29:48,530 --> 00:29:50,440
You look ridiculous.
542
00:29:50,530 --> 00:29:52,950
What are you talking about?
543
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,780
I look like fuckin' Jason Statham.
544
00:29:55,870 --> 00:29:58,360
I'm a badass.
545
00:30:03,420 --> 00:30:06,880
I used to light
cigarettes like this for Emily.
546
00:30:06,970 --> 00:30:09,960
One for me, one for her.
547
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,760
There I go again.
548
00:30:15,270 --> 00:30:19,100
Think about the girl
that's here with me now.
549
00:30:25,650 --> 00:30:27,390
Shit just got real.
550
00:30:30,740 --> 00:30:32,450
Fuck.
551
00:30:33,740 --> 00:30:36,780
It's too damn cold in here.
552
00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:41,790
C'mon, dude.
553
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,830
Just a second!
554
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:47,080
That's what I'm talkin' about.
555
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,470
Hurry up.
556
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,590
Almost done.
557
00:30:56,430 --> 00:30:57,840
Hey, Michelle.
558
00:30:57,930 --> 00:30:59,390
Oh, my God.
559
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:00,760
Were you beatin' it in there?
560
00:31:00,850 --> 00:31:01,940
My sister.
561
00:31:02,020 --> 00:31:03,680
She's got the good looks of Cody
562
00:31:03,770 --> 00:31:05,980
but the bad manners of me.
563
00:31:06,070 --> 00:31:08,400
What? No, no, I've got
this thing on my pants.
564
00:31:08,490 --> 00:31:09,520
I'm good.
565
00:31:09,610 --> 00:31:11,820
Uh, when'd you get here?
566
00:31:11,910 --> 00:31:14,370
Just now. Get out.
Beater.
567
00:31:14,450 --> 00:31:17,320
It's all yours.
Eww.
568
00:31:18,790 --> 00:31:20,280
Hey, big game on Sunday.
569
00:31:20,370 --> 00:31:22,120
Oh, yeah, yeah.
570
00:31:22,210 --> 00:31:24,170
Gimme a minute.
571
00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:33,960
Come on.
572
00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:37,090
Send, you piece of crap.
573
00:31:37,970 --> 00:31:39,080
What are you trying to do?
574
00:31:39,100 --> 00:31:40,760
Don't worry about it.
575
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,230
I'm sorry.
576
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,400
These pants give me the worst camel toe.
577
00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:52,900
What?
578
00:31:52,990 --> 00:31:54,150
That's obscene.
579
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,080
They call it a moose knuckle
where I'm from.
580
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,220
My dear.
This is my brotherin-law Kevin.
581
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:00,830
Thank you, baby.
582
00:32:00,910 --> 00:32:04,500
All he ever wants
to talk about is his podcast.
583
00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:08,000
You're listening to the
Beat of the Drum podcast.
584
00:32:08,090 --> 00:32:11,130
We'll talk about baseball,
especially Indians baseball.
585
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:13,250
And please start leaving comments.
586
00:32:13,340 --> 00:32:15,550
I really want to start a dialogue here.
587
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,050
So you guys up to date on my podcast?
588
00:32:18,140 --> 00:32:20,930
It's really
really starting to make waves.
589
00:32:21,020 --> 00:32:23,930
It's inspiring a lot of discussion.
590
00:32:26,230 --> 00:32:28,140
Hey, I'm sorry we were so late.
591
00:32:28,230 --> 00:32:31,320
It's like, all these assholes
come out on the very last day
592
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,570
and the lines were, like,
crazy today, right, babe?
593
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:34,520
Yeah!
594
00:32:34,610 --> 00:32:35,860
And what's the deal with Mom?
595
00:32:35,950 --> 00:32:37,360
Is she not coming?
596
00:32:37,450 --> 00:32:39,910
She said she's sick or something.
597
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,260
What do mean sick or something?
598
00:32:41,290 --> 00:32:41,950
What did she say?
599
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,700
Well, the caretaker lady called.
600
00:32:43,790 --> 00:32:46,280
You didn't talk to her?
No, left a message.
601
00:32:48,130 --> 00:32:50,170
Is it just me
602
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,210
or is it weird celebrating Christmas here?
603
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:55,170
It's fucking so weird.
604
00:32:55,260 --> 00:32:57,000
So. Weird.
605
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,800
Look at this room.
606
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:00,180
You know, it's not that weird.
607
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:03,010
It's a really pretty house,
and it's my house.
608
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:05,810
Come on, Cody.
It's her house.
609
00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:07,810
What'd you pick out, the remote?
610
00:33:10,150 --> 00:33:12,390
I just feel like
they should be serving us
611
00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:13,820
tea and crumpets,
612
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:16,650
or perhaps some
lamprey pie with the Queen.
613
00:33:16,740 --> 00:33:18,320
Ooh, I could have some lamprey pie.
614
00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:21,030
Ooh, constable, have you
spotted my dick out?
615
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,410
Yes, please,
I'm looking for my spot of dick.
616
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:25,100
Oh, ma'am, I think I saw it in your boot.
617
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,120
G'd gloore.
618
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,770
You know, guys,
Sophie's really stressed out
619
00:33:27,790 --> 00:33:30,380
so please don't make fun
of her house during dinner,
620
00:33:30,460 --> 00:33:32,330
okay?
621
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,830
You could show a little respect.
622
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,760
Yes, respect for the Queen.
623
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,960
Ooh, yes, me Lady.
624
00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:44,090
Ooh, yes you, Lady.
625
00:33:46,060 --> 00:33:48,680
Sounds like a dog drinking.
626
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,230
What is that, nutmeg?
627
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:58,940
You can still taste it, huh?
628
00:33:59,030 --> 00:34:00,770
It's my secret recipe.
629
00:34:00,870 --> 00:34:02,820
The Colonel doesn't have shit on me.
630
00:34:02,910 --> 00:34:05,230
Hey, Nick, I was wondering
if maybe you'd like to come by
631
00:34:05,290 --> 00:34:07,950
if you have some free time
and join me for a podcast.
632
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,370
I'd love to talk to you
about 10 Cent Beer Night,
633
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:12,790
everything that happened.
634
00:34:14,590 --> 00:34:15,630
Maybe later.
635
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:16,900
Yeah, I bet you'd like that.
636
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:17,960
Hey, there he is!
637
00:34:18,050 --> 00:34:19,710
Can I have one?
638
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,290
Yeah.
Go nuts, kid.
639
00:34:21,390 --> 00:34:23,300
Well, maybe we should ask his mom first.
640
00:34:23,390 --> 00:34:26,180
Nah, relax.
It's Christmas.
641
00:34:35,900 --> 00:34:38,610
I don't know anything about this.
642
00:34:54,670 --> 00:34:57,130
Hey, I'm still waiting for that picture.
643
00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:00,460
Yeah, well.
Stupid phone.
644
00:35:03,390 --> 00:35:05,250
How do I turn this fucking music off?
645
00:35:05,350 --> 00:35:06,810
My mom wouldn't like that.
646
00:35:06,890 --> 00:35:08,550
Well, I don't like this.
647
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,010
If I have to hear
Chestnuts one more time,
648
00:35:11,100 --> 00:35:13,440
I'm going to roast my
goddamn head in the open fire.
649
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,860
I can't fuckin' take it.
650
00:35:15,940 --> 00:35:18,480
What the hell is this?
651
00:35:19,860 --> 00:35:21,400
It's a karaoke machine.
652
00:35:21,490 --> 00:35:23,200
Yeah.
653
00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:25,530
Alright, let's do this.
654
00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:37,000
Oh, come all ye faithful
655
00:35:37,090 --> 00:35:38,580
No.
Yes.
656
00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:42,170
Joyful and triumphant
657
00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:50,230
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem
658
00:35:50,310 --> 00:35:56,850
Come and behold Him,
for the King of Angels
659
00:35:56,940 --> 00:36:04,160
O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him,
660
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:13,580
O come let us adore Him,
Christ our Lord.
661
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,710
Okay, well, dinner's almost ready.
662
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:19,960
Oh!
663
00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:22,710
As the game progressed,
664
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,390
the Indians fans
became more and more unruly.
665
00:36:26,470 --> 00:36:27,880
They pelted the grounds crew
666
00:36:27,970 --> 00:36:31,140
with batteries from their radios,
667
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,680
hot dogs.
668
00:36:34,810 --> 00:36:37,230
Rangers first baseman Mike Hargrove
669
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,480
was nearly hit in the head
670
00:36:38,570 --> 00:36:41,270
by a half-full bottle
of Thunderbird.
671
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,650
To say the drunken antics had escalated
672
00:36:43,740 --> 00:36:46,700
was an understatement of epic proportions.
673
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,280
I'm never drinking eggnog again.
674
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,180
Next time you decide to steal booze,
675
00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:55,410
don't treat it like
it's a bag of potato chips.
676
00:36:55,500 --> 00:36:58,210
Have some goddamned
self-control, Marcus.
677
00:36:58,710 --> 00:37:01,580
Hey, I wouldn't use that towel.
678
00:37:01,670 --> 00:37:04,290
Ah, I can't watch.
This is tragic.
679
00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:07,050
Do you really need to do that?
680
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:09,460
No, let's let the kids get drunk,
681
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,240
fall down the stairs,
and crack their skulls open?
682
00:37:11,270 --> 00:37:13,240
How's that?
We all know if anyone's taking a header
683
00:37:13,270 --> 00:37:15,120
down the stairs tonight
it's gonna be me, right?
684
00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,310
Yeah, you don't need to punish everyone.
685
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,480
God!
686
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:21,350
It's just not Christmas
without joy.
687
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,560
Yeah, the adults could have enjoyed it.
688
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:34,200
I remember how Christmas used to be:
689
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,990
The anticipation of presents to come;
690
00:37:40,710 --> 00:37:42,920
Love and warmth
691
00:37:43,010 --> 00:37:45,170
and Emily.
692
00:37:48,550 --> 00:37:53,720
I wish I could experience
those feelings one more time.
693
00:37:57,730 --> 00:38:00,520
But instead, I'm spending Christmas dinner
694
00:38:00,610 --> 00:38:02,560
staring at a picture of my dick.
695
00:38:02,650 --> 00:38:04,640
Nick, put your phone away.
696
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:06,350
Here's the problem.
697
00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:09,410
It says the file is too big.
698
00:38:09,490 --> 00:38:11,730
Yeah, it is.
699
00:38:12,740 --> 00:38:16,700
So, normally I would lead
the saying of grace
700
00:38:16,790 --> 00:38:20,500
but I think that tonight
that honor should go to Cody
701
00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:23,700
since it's our first family
Christmas together.
702
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:28,260
Okay, I'm a little rusty but
703
00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:29,940
Bless us, oh, Lord, and these thy gifts,
704
00:38:30,010 --> 00:38:31,670
which we are about to receive,
705
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,130
from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord.
706
00:38:34,220 --> 00:38:35,810
Amen.
707
00:38:35,890 --> 00:38:37,550
Amen.
Amen.
708
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,760
You're not going to thank
God before this meal?
709
00:38:39,850 --> 00:38:43,060
God didn't do shit.
Your wife did.
710
00:38:43,150 --> 00:38:44,770
So thank you, Sophie.
711
00:38:44,860 --> 00:38:45,900
Thanks for inviting me
712
00:38:45,990 --> 00:38:49,230
and thank you for preparing this feast.
713
00:38:50,450 --> 00:38:52,530
You are welcome.
714
00:38:52,620 --> 00:38:54,480
Well, everyone, dig in.
715
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:55,610
There is no God!
716
00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:57,190
Jesus Christ, Marcus!
717
00:38:57,290 --> 00:38:58,370
He's not real, either.
718
00:38:58,460 --> 00:38:59,700
Marcus!
719
00:38:59,790 --> 00:39:01,950
Don't blaspheme!
720
00:39:02,750 --> 00:39:04,370
Don't look at me.
721
00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:06,200
My lack of belief should be respected
722
00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:08,540
just as much as your indoctrinated ones.
723
00:39:08,630 --> 00:39:09,970
That's it!
That's enough!
724
00:39:10,050 --> 00:39:10,840
That's enough for you.
725
00:39:10,930 --> 00:39:13,170
Starving me isn't going
to make me believe in your God.
726
00:39:13,220 --> 00:39:14,820
Oh, yeah, you look like you're starving.
727
00:39:14,850 --> 00:39:16,560
Just let the kid eat with us.
728
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,010
Marcus, I know what you're getting at,
729
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:21,970
but just go with it
for tonight, okay, buddy?
730
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,350
Mom?
Fine.
731
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,280
It's probably just the booze talking.
732
00:39:28,650 --> 00:39:32,860
Have you guys heard my
latest episode of my podcast?
733
00:39:32,950 --> 00:39:34,570
It's a good one.
734
00:39:34,660 --> 00:39:36,780
What's your podcast about?
735
00:39:36,870 --> 00:39:38,990
Well, it's called Beat of the Drum,
736
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,490
and it's about the history
of the Cleveland Indians.
737
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:45,040
In the new episode,
I interviewed John Adams,
738
00:39:45,130 --> 00:39:46,870
the guy who plays the drum in the stadium
739
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,050
during Cleveland home games.
740
00:39:49,130 --> 00:39:51,120
And he's a really interesting guy.
741
00:39:51,220 --> 00:39:53,430
He's got stor
Well, you should listen.
742
00:39:53,510 --> 00:39:55,720
He came into the store.
That's when we met.
743
00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:58,170
He was looking for a DVD player.
744
00:39:58,270 --> 00:39:59,850
I set him straight.
745
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:02,270
It's on iTunes.
746
00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:04,390
I don't really follow baseball, so
747
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,470
Well, it's not really about baseball.
748
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:10,780
It's more about what a team is,
about loving something,
749
00:40:10,860 --> 00:40:14,030
and being proud of your hometown.
750
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,320
Babe, she's not going to
listen to it. It's not
751
00:40:17,410 --> 00:40:18,450
probably her thing.
752
00:40:20,370 --> 00:40:22,110
You know, Sophie,
753
00:40:22,210 --> 00:40:25,420
I never heard the story
of how you met my brother.
754
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:27,040
He and I hadn't talked in a while
755
00:40:27,130 --> 00:40:31,420
and then next thing I know
you two are getting married.
756
00:40:31,510 --> 00:40:32,750
Well, um,
757
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,430
we met him at Vino in Lakewood.
758
00:40:35,510 --> 00:40:36,970
I was with a group of friends
759
00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:40,640
and he recommended me
this amazing cabernet.
760
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:43,390
I had a feeling she'd like it.
761
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,060
I did
762
00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:46,640
but I liked him more.
763
00:40:50,690 --> 00:40:54,190
Were you with your
ex-husband when you met?
764
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,360
Yes.
765
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:03,710
Well, I haven't really
figured out what my major's
766
00:41:03,750 --> 00:41:05,830
gonna be yet so I just figured
I'd take a couple more
767
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,330
general studies classes,
see if anything clicks.
768
00:41:08,420 --> 00:41:09,690
You should be grateful your parents
769
00:41:09,710 --> 00:41:10,730
are paying for your school.
770
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,210
I had to go out and get a job.
771
00:41:12,300 --> 00:41:14,010
College is overrated.
772
00:41:14,090 --> 00:41:15,670
Didn't really help with my career.
773
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,800
Don't listen to him.
Just go. Trust me.
774
00:41:18,890 --> 00:41:19,890
Michelle's right.
775
00:41:19,970 --> 00:41:23,680
I went to the Baldwin Wallace
conservatory and I loved it.
776
00:41:23,770 --> 00:41:26,480
Kind of a waste, though.
777
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:30,180
It's her decision.
778
00:41:30,270 --> 00:41:32,310
If she wants to drop out, she can.
779
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,020
Val, what, you're dropping out?
780
00:41:34,110 --> 00:41:35,730
No, I mean
781
00:41:35,820 --> 00:41:37,980
maybe, if my modeling career takes off.
782
00:41:38,070 --> 00:41:41,320
And if I drop out, I'll actually
have time to go on auditions.
783
00:41:41,410 --> 00:41:42,900
She's really good, babe.
784
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,110
You saw the pics for the website.
785
00:41:45,210 --> 00:41:47,620
She's a natural.
786
00:41:50,170 --> 00:41:53,000
We will talk about this later.
787
00:41:56,970 --> 00:42:00,300
I would advise that nobody go
into that upstairs bathroom
788
00:42:00,390 --> 00:42:02,430
for at least an hour.
789
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:03,720
I'll go light a candle.
790
00:42:03,810 --> 00:42:05,600
Thank you.
791
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,560
Wow, I should have brought
sweatpants over here.
792
00:42:11,650 --> 00:42:13,230
Ugh.
793
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,730
Michelle, how's your, uh, job?
794
00:42:16,820 --> 00:42:17,690
At the store?
795
00:42:17,780 --> 00:42:20,860
The, uh the
796
00:42:20,950 --> 00:42:23,240
Well, it's retail so it's horrible.
797
00:42:23,330 --> 00:42:23,870
Oh.
798
00:42:23,950 --> 00:42:25,950
But we get an employee discount
799
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:27,750
so that's something.
800
00:42:27,830 --> 00:42:30,870
Yeah, our DVD collection
is like boom!
801
00:42:32,590 --> 00:42:36,300
Are you really dropping out of college?
802
00:42:36,380 --> 00:42:39,000
We got, like, two walls.
803
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:41,590
One is Blu-ray
804
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:42,800
I don't know.
805
00:42:42,890 --> 00:42:44,100
I mean, what's the big deal?
806
00:42:44,180 --> 00:42:47,430
It's not like Cody graduated college.
807
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,730
I raised you in this big house.
808
00:42:49,810 --> 00:42:51,270
I helped you do your homework.
809
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:52,770
What have I done wrong here?
810
00:42:52,860 --> 00:42:56,570
I think Dad has a pretty good list.
811
00:42:56,820 --> 00:42:59,440
Don't ruin Christmas.
812
00:42:59,530 --> 00:43:01,110
I hate it here.
813
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,110
This is all just some big fake show,
814
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,240
and I don't even remember
the last time we used
815
00:43:07,330 --> 00:43:08,740
these stupid dishes.
816
00:43:08,830 --> 00:43:10,620
These are Crate and Barrel.
817
00:43:10,710 --> 00:43:12,270
They don't make better dishes then these.
818
00:43:12,290 --> 00:43:14,660
Trust me on that, little princess.
819
00:43:14,750 --> 00:43:18,120
You know, it's not what
you think it is around here,
820
00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:20,880
and I really want you to know that.
821
00:43:20,970 --> 00:43:23,210
Nobody's happy.
822
00:43:24,180 --> 00:43:26,640
Merry Christmas, Mom.
823
00:43:27,430 --> 00:43:28,550
Nick, I forgot to mention,
824
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,930
we're getting a new bed
delivered next week.
825
00:43:31,020 --> 00:43:32,810
You should take the old one.
826
00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:34,010
Nah, I'm good.
827
00:43:34,110 --> 00:43:35,690
Oh, we insist.
828
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,520
If Nick doesn't want it,
829
00:43:37,610 --> 00:43:39,600
we'll take it because our bed is terrible.
830
00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:41,530
I get jabbed with springs every night.
831
00:43:41,610 --> 00:43:43,130
No, Nick should take it.
He needs it.
832
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,360
You know, get rid of
that old thing in there
833
00:43:45,450 --> 00:43:47,030
especially after what happened.
834
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:50,860
I don't need a bed
because I don't sleep on one.
835
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,540
Where do you sleep?
836
00:43:53,630 --> 00:43:55,040
On the couch.
837
00:43:55,130 --> 00:43:56,370
Is it more comfortable?
838
00:43:56,460 --> 00:43:59,050
That cannot be good for your back.
839
00:43:59,130 --> 00:44:02,470
I haven't slept in a bed in eight years.
840
00:44:02,550 --> 00:44:04,640
Has it really been that long?
841
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:06,840
Why did you stop?
842
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:13,560
I was seeing this girl, Emily,
843
00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:17,310
and it was the first time I'd been serious
844
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,230
with a girl in a while.
845
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:24,110
I was so busy with work
and taking care of Mom,
846
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,690
I just didn't have time for a girlfriend.
847
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:30,870
I meet Emily, things are great.
848
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,740
It's Christmas Eve,
849
00:44:32,830 --> 00:44:35,070
and she comes over
850
00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:37,750
and she decides to spend the night
851
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:39,420
I have to go to the bathroom.
852
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,340
It may still smell horrible up there.
853
00:44:41,420 --> 00:44:44,380
I don't care.
I can't hear this right now.
854
00:44:49,350 --> 00:44:52,430
She died.
855
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:57,140
Emily had an aneurism in her sleep.
856
00:44:57,230 --> 00:44:59,810
She never knew what hit her.
857
00:44:59,900 --> 00:45:02,360
And I didn't know.
858
00:45:02,450 --> 00:45:06,560
I had to wake up in the morning
and she's so cold.
859
00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:09,990
So I hold her tight, try to warm her up.
860
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,440
Maybe we shouldn't
be talking about this
861
00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:13,820
It's okay.
862
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,780
I started, so might as well finish.
863
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:22,290
And that's when I finally realized
864
00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:26,630
something was wrong when she
865
00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:29,550
evacuated her bowels
866
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,350
or whatever the medical term is.
867
00:45:33,730 --> 00:45:36,640
That's when I discovered
868
00:45:36,730 --> 00:45:39,640
something horrible had happened.
869
00:45:39,730 --> 00:45:41,890
That's so sad.
870
00:45:43,190 --> 00:45:45,310
I still think you should
take the bed, though.
871
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,860
It would probably help.
872
00:45:58,500 --> 00:46:04,960
Well, I hope you've all
saved room for dessert.
873
00:46:07,340 --> 00:46:11,300
By the sixth inning
everyone was good and drunk.
874
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,060
Many fathers had soon realized
875
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,140
that as soon as the innings had passed,
876
00:46:20,230 --> 00:46:23,020
the risk to their loved ones grew.
877
00:46:23,110 --> 00:46:25,100
It was time to go.
878
00:46:26,030 --> 00:46:29,110
They didn't want to see
what happened next.
879
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,700
The troublemakers didn't go anywhere.
880
00:46:35,870 --> 00:46:37,200
They stayed,
881
00:46:37,290 --> 00:46:39,870
ready to see this through to the end.
882
00:46:42,210 --> 00:46:45,550
I rarely tell this story.
883
00:46:45,630 --> 00:46:49,500
How will Valerie react?
884
00:46:49,930 --> 00:46:53,720
If she comes through that door,
she's mine.
885
00:46:53,810 --> 00:46:57,770
Just sit here and wait until she does.
886
00:47:07,570 --> 00:47:10,190
She won't say a word.
887
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,400
Neither will I.
888
00:47:12,490 --> 00:47:15,450
And it will be perfect.
889
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:30,080
Nick?
890
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,260
Are you okay?
891
00:47:34,350 --> 00:47:36,260
Yeah.
892
00:47:36,350 --> 00:47:38,390
I'm fine.
893
00:47:38,770 --> 00:47:40,850
Cody mentioned once
that you had a girlfriend
894
00:47:40,940 --> 00:47:42,300
who passed away
895
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,260
but I didn't know the
whole story, obviously.
896
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:48,850
Yeah.
Now you do.
897
00:47:48,940 --> 00:47:52,230
I'm sorry that happened.
898
00:47:52,950 --> 00:47:55,780
The offer still stands, about the bed,
899
00:47:55,870 --> 00:47:57,280
you know, if you want it.
900
00:47:57,370 --> 00:47:59,360
Alright.
901
00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:02,320
Yeah, I think I'm okay.
902
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,500
We're going to start
White Elephant soon.
903
00:48:06,590 --> 00:48:08,540
That will be fun.
904
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,460
Ha.
905
00:48:11,550 --> 00:48:13,130
Here's how the Wilkins family version
906
00:48:13,220 --> 00:48:15,090
of White Elephant works.
907
00:48:15,180 --> 00:48:16,800
You start with a pile of gifts.
908
00:48:16,890 --> 00:48:19,850
Simple, cheap stuff.
Nothing expensive.
909
00:48:19,930 --> 00:48:21,640
If you roll a seven or eleven,
910
00:48:21,730 --> 00:48:24,010
you get to take one of
the presents from the pile.
911
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:25,770
Shaking is permitted.
912
00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:26,970
You go around the room
913
00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:29,310
until every present is off the table.
914
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,940
Round two is when things get ugly.
915
00:48:32,030 --> 00:48:33,990
You set a timer for ten minutes.
916
00:48:34,070 --> 00:48:35,660
If you roll a seven or eleven,
917
00:48:35,740 --> 00:48:38,360
you get to take a present
from someone else's pile.
918
00:48:38,450 --> 00:48:41,990
Air horns add tension to sudden death.
919
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:44,040
Michelle and I used to gang up on Cody
920
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:46,160
and take everything he had in round two
921
00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:49,170
because, well, fuck him.
922
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:52,340
When the timer rings, the game's over.
923
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:54,710
And that's how you play White Elephant.
924
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,390
White Elephant is a horrible game.
925
00:48:57,470 --> 00:48:59,710
It's all about jealousy and greed.
926
00:48:59,810 --> 00:49:02,220
Feelings get hurt.
927
00:49:02,310 --> 00:49:05,300
You know, which kinda makes
it perfect for Christmas.
928
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,930
Okay, so, before the game starts, guys,
929
00:49:08,020 --> 00:49:10,190
I'd like to make a small announcement.
930
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,860
Um, inside one of those boxes
931
00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:15,650
is a brand new iPad!
932
00:49:15,740 --> 00:49:17,860
Aw, yeah!
933
00:49:17,950 --> 00:49:18,700
Whoa, wait a minute,
934
00:49:18,780 --> 00:49:20,100
we didn't buy anything that nice.
935
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:21,780
Did you change the rules on us this year?
936
00:49:21,870 --> 00:49:23,100
I thought the whole point
of White Elephant
937
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,960
was that you're supposed
to get small gifts.
938
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,530
I just
939
00:49:27,630 --> 00:49:29,960
I thought that it might be more fun
940
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:31,710
if there was something that we all want?
941
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,040
I know I want it.
942
00:49:33,130 --> 00:49:35,800
It just seems like
we would have gotten
943
00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:38,000
I feel like maybe we
should have done more.
944
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,590
Oh, what the hell.
Let's do it.
945
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:41,720
Okay?
946
00:49:41,810 --> 00:49:43,470
Okay!
947
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:44,720
And! And!
948
00:49:44,810 --> 00:49:47,020
I had the maid wrap the gifts
949
00:49:47,100 --> 00:49:49,140
so even I don't know which one it is.
950
00:49:49,230 --> 00:49:51,020
Well, if Cody wrapped the gifts
951
00:49:51,110 --> 00:49:53,480
then he's disqualified, right?
952
00:49:53,570 --> 00:49:55,900
Oh!
953
00:49:57,530 --> 00:49:59,610
That means that you're
the maid, dum-dum!
954
00:50:00,700 --> 00:50:03,160
I feel good!
955
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,830
Yes!
iPad, you're mine.
956
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,370
Green one.
957
00:50:09,750 --> 00:50:11,370
Booyah!
958
00:50:14,590 --> 00:50:16,250
Aw, Big Eight!
959
00:50:16,340 --> 00:50:17,670
Tough break, bro.
960
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,220
Big bucks, big bucks, no Whammy
961
00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:22,550
Yeah!
This is bullshit.
962
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:27,890
Remind me to never go to
a casino with you people, huh?
963
00:50:27,980 --> 00:50:28,840
Suck on that.
964
00:50:28,940 --> 00:50:30,550
Yeah.
965
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,600
Yay!
966
00:50:34,690 --> 00:50:36,280
I'll take
I'll take any gift.
967
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:37,650
Any one of 'em.
968
00:50:37,740 --> 00:50:40,320
Oh, I got a good feelin' about that.
969
00:50:40,410 --> 00:50:43,120
I don't even have to do it,
I know it's gonna
970
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:44,780
and suck it!
971
00:50:46,370 --> 00:50:48,490
Fuck yeah!
972
00:50:48,580 --> 00:50:50,290
Who's the man?
973
00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:51,790
I run this shit!
974
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:53,290
You just live here!
975
00:50:54,670 --> 00:50:56,250
You see how hot these dice are?
976
00:50:56,340 --> 00:50:58,800
I'm getting third degree burns over here.
977
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,880
No, no
Oh, my God!
978
00:51:01,970 --> 00:51:05,090
Yep, that's right.
Gimme a gift, Gifty.
979
00:51:05,930 --> 00:51:07,340
Fuck yeah!
980
00:51:07,430 --> 00:51:08,930
Is that really necessary?
981
00:51:09,020 --> 00:51:11,140
I am the winning robot
982
00:51:11,230 --> 00:51:12,970
Cannot compute
983
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:15,560
Level of awesomeness
984
00:51:15,650 --> 00:51:17,690
Circuits failing
985
00:51:18,990 --> 00:51:20,730
Watch out now, Nick.
986
00:51:20,820 --> 00:51:22,780
There's still sudden death.
987
00:51:22,870 --> 00:51:24,030
Right.
988
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,080
Good luck with that.
989
00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:31,740
Okay, guys, we are ready for round two.
990
00:51:31,830 --> 00:51:33,200
Whoo!
991
00:51:37,420 --> 00:51:39,760
Yea!
992
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,220
Whoo!
993
00:51:46,470 --> 00:51:47,760
Thank you.
994
00:51:47,850 --> 00:51:49,680
Lucky bitch.
995
00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:55,350
Alright, Uncle Nick.
996
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,680
Give me the biggest one.
997
00:52:01,990 --> 00:52:03,050
That's what happens
998
00:52:03,070 --> 00:52:06,190
when I get a glimmer of hope in my life,
999
00:52:06,290 --> 00:52:08,820
my stupid brother ruins everything.
1000
00:52:08,910 --> 00:52:10,740
Thank you, sir.
1001
00:52:10,830 --> 00:52:13,290
Fuck you, sir.
1002
00:52:14,170 --> 00:52:15,410
Alright, you guys.
1003
00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:17,460
iPad, this is it.
1004
00:52:19,420 --> 00:52:21,420
Matches
1005
00:52:21,510 --> 00:52:24,300
Aw, a tea set.
1006
00:52:24,390 --> 00:52:26,340
I like this
if you wanna
1007
00:52:26,430 --> 00:52:31,100
I'm guessing that these
are from you, Nick.
1008
00:52:31,190 --> 00:52:32,050
Yep.
1009
00:52:32,140 --> 00:52:35,140
Looks like you're the
real winner here, huh?
1010
00:52:37,940 --> 00:52:39,900
Look what I got.
1011
00:52:40,690 --> 00:52:44,110
Yes, yes, yes!
In your stupid face!
1012
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,200
Gimme some love!
Yes!
1013
00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:46,360
Gimme some love!
1014
00:52:46,450 --> 00:52:48,280
You gonna leave me hangin', bro?
1015
00:52:48,370 --> 00:52:49,080
Yep.
1016
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:50,160
Aw, come on.
1017
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,620
Michelle, will give me some love.
1018
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:54,160
Kev, will give me some love.
1019
00:52:54,830 --> 00:52:57,450
You know, Nick, nobody likes a sore loser.
1020
00:52:57,540 --> 00:53:00,000
You're right.
So take your iPad, Cody.
1021
00:53:00,090 --> 00:53:01,440
Take it like you've taken
everything that's ever been
1022
00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:04,300
given to you your entire fucking life.
1023
00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:05,840
I've worked plenty.
1024
00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:08,890
Pouring wine is not work.
1025
00:53:08,970 --> 00:53:11,510
Oh, and bossin' around a bunch
of Mexicans, that's work?
1026
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,680
Puerto Ricans.
1027
00:53:12,770 --> 00:53:14,730
Whatever.
Like you work hard.
1028
00:53:14,810 --> 00:53:16,850
Work is taking over the family business.
1029
00:53:16,940 --> 00:53:18,540
Hey, nobody asked you
to take over, Nick.
1030
00:53:18,570 --> 00:53:19,980
You're right.
1031
00:53:20,070 --> 00:53:22,150
Nobody did ask me to take over.
1032
00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:23,770
I had no fucking choice.
1033
00:53:23,860 --> 00:53:26,400
I had to pay for your
failed college education
1034
00:53:26,490 --> 00:53:28,230
because Dad died.
1035
00:53:28,330 --> 00:53:30,030
One other thing:
1036
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,240
When are you going to start kicking in
1037
00:53:32,330 --> 00:53:33,990
on the nursing home bill?
1038
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:35,990
I don't think it's fair
that I have to scrape by
1039
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,170
to support my mom alone.
1040
00:53:38,250 --> 00:53:39,490
You're married to Cody now
1041
00:53:39,590 --> 00:53:41,830
so I think that you should
share some of the burden.
1042
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,130
I don't think that this
is an appropriate time
1043
00:53:44,220 --> 00:53:45,920
to discuss this.
1044
00:53:46,010 --> 00:53:47,090
When is it appropriate?
1045
00:53:47,180 --> 00:53:48,780
Can we put that on the fucking calendar?
1046
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,090
Can you pencil me in?
1047
00:53:52,430 --> 00:53:53,580
Leave her out of this, Nick.
1048
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,680
Fuck yourself, pretty boy.
1049
00:53:55,770 --> 00:53:57,430
Do we need to take this outside, Nick?
1050
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:59,510
Look at me.
Look at me. Calm down.
1051
00:53:59,610 --> 00:54:01,690
Cody, knock it off.
You're not helping.
1052
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:04,520
Yeah, well, I will not be
disrespected in my house!
1053
00:54:04,610 --> 00:54:06,320
In my house!
Do you hear that shit?
1054
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:07,740
Unbelievable.
1055
00:54:07,820 --> 00:54:09,690
Okay, knock it off.
Come on, come with me.
1056
00:54:09,780 --> 00:54:10,570
Come on.
1057
00:54:10,660 --> 00:54:12,870
Fuck you, Cody.
Fuck you and your tannins.
1058
00:54:12,950 --> 00:54:14,790
Yeah, well, fuck you, Nick.
1059
00:54:14,870 --> 00:54:16,990
Eat all the dicks, buddy.
All of 'em.
1060
00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:23,920
Here, drink this.
1061
00:54:24,010 --> 00:54:25,960
Fuck that.
1062
00:54:26,970 --> 00:54:28,420
That was real mature, Nick.
1063
00:54:28,510 --> 00:54:30,880
God, I hate it when you're like this.
1064
00:54:30,970 --> 00:54:32,380
Yeah, well, I hate Cody.
1065
00:54:32,470 --> 00:54:34,720
Well, Cody didn't ruin your life.
1066
00:54:34,810 --> 00:54:36,720
Now you're taking his side?
1067
00:54:36,810 --> 00:54:38,720
No, Jesus, of course not.
1068
00:54:38,810 --> 00:54:40,550
It's just
1069
00:54:40,650 --> 00:54:42,540
if you're so unhappy running
the landscaping company,
1070
00:54:42,570 --> 00:54:44,770
why don't you just sell it?
1071
00:54:44,860 --> 00:54:46,690
To who?
1072
00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:48,770
I don't know.
Somebody.
1073
00:54:48,860 --> 00:54:50,700
And do what?
1074
00:54:50,780 --> 00:54:52,520
I'm too old to start over.
1075
00:54:52,620 --> 00:54:54,280
And who's going to take care of Mom?
1076
00:54:54,370 --> 00:54:56,080
You know I would
help you out if I could.
1077
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:57,160
I know.
1078
00:54:57,210 --> 00:54:58,990
You've seen my husband.
1079
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:00,450
You've heard his podcast.
1080
00:55:00,540 --> 00:55:01,370
No, I haven't.
1081
00:55:01,460 --> 00:55:04,250
I won't listen to that fuckin' thing.
1082
00:55:04,340 --> 00:55:06,710
Not a chance.
Me neither.
1083
00:55:07,340 --> 00:55:08,960
Listen, it's just
It's Christmas.
1084
00:55:09,050 --> 00:55:11,380
Let's go relax and enjoy ourself, okay?
1085
00:55:11,470 --> 00:55:12,590
Fuck everybody else.
1086
00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:14,260
Alright.
1087
00:55:14,350 --> 00:55:17,010
I can't believe
that I'm about to ask her this.
1088
00:55:17,100 --> 00:55:20,940
Hey, do you think
I have a shot with Valerie?
1089
00:55:21,020 --> 00:55:23,350
I mean, you're a girl,
you know that kind of shit.
1090
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:24,770
Dude!
1091
00:55:24,860 --> 00:55:26,100
Wake up!
1092
00:55:26,190 --> 00:55:28,900
Valerie's a fucking kid!
1093
00:55:28,990 --> 00:55:30,150
She's twenty,
1094
00:55:30,240 --> 00:55:32,550
and she's been giving me
the signs all night to round third
1095
00:55:32,570 --> 00:55:34,940
Oh, she's twenty.
1096
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:37,400
Dude.
1097
00:55:42,630 --> 00:55:44,120
Oh, my God, is that your dick?!
1098
00:55:44,210 --> 00:55:45,830
Why the fuck would you show me that?!
1099
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,250
Jesus!
1100
00:55:47,340 --> 00:55:48,630
Whoops.
1101
00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:52,250
No, this.
1102
00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:54,470
She says she loves to suck cock.
1103
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:57,170
Oh, my God, what is
fucking wrong with you?
1104
00:55:57,270 --> 00:55:59,720
Jesus!
1105
00:55:59,980 --> 00:56:01,560
You're gonna keep
this on the D-L?
1106
00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:03,850
Dude, you need to sober the fuck up
1107
00:56:03,940 --> 00:56:06,020
before you do something
stupid that you'll regret.
1108
00:56:06,110 --> 00:56:06,940
Hey!
1109
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:10,560
Jesus fucking Christ.
1110
00:56:38,930 --> 00:56:41,050
Where we going?
1111
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,390
I was just going to drive around.
1112
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:48,770
Um
You don't need another DUI.
1113
00:56:50,610 --> 00:56:53,270
You're right.
1114
00:56:54,110 --> 00:56:57,610
I just can't be in there anymore.
1115
00:57:02,410 --> 00:57:05,030
Might as well get comfortable, huh?
1116
00:57:21,270 --> 00:57:23,880
Jesus.
1117
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:28,140
You know I'm still waiting
for a picture, right?
1118
00:57:30,150 --> 00:57:33,860
Yeah, you don't want to see that.
1119
00:57:33,950 --> 00:57:37,910
How do you expect to get
something in return?
1120
00:57:41,290 --> 00:57:44,030
Could just whip it out right here,
1121
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,910
save us both the trouble, huh?
1122
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:51,080
Alright.
1123
00:57:51,170 --> 00:57:53,380
Do it.
1124
00:57:53,630 --> 00:57:55,870
Yeah?
1125
00:57:56,300 --> 00:57:58,460
Is that what you want?
1126
00:57:58,550 --> 00:58:00,510
Yeah.
1127
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:03,340
Whip it out.
1128
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,440
Nah
1129
00:58:19,530 --> 00:58:22,200
It's cold.
1130
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,500
This is what you want, right?
1131
00:58:31,670 --> 00:58:35,460
You've been thinking about
this all day, haven't you?
1132
00:58:36,340 --> 00:58:38,920
Thinking about what?
1133
00:58:47,020 --> 00:58:49,560
Getting me alone.
1134
00:58:49,650 --> 00:58:52,890
Having your way with me.
1135
00:58:52,980 --> 00:58:55,940
You have, haven't you?
1136
00:58:56,610 --> 00:59:00,200
The thought has crossed my mind.
1137
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:04,280
Is this what you want?
1138
00:59:04,370 --> 00:59:09,330
What do you want to do to me, Uncle Nick?
1139
00:59:13,130 --> 00:59:14,370
Get off.
1140
00:59:14,460 --> 00:59:15,210
What?
1141
00:59:15,300 --> 00:59:17,210
Get off. Get off.
1142
00:59:21,050 --> 00:59:23,220
Why?
1143
00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:26,890
Valerie, I can't, I just can't.
1144
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:29,430
Are you fucking serious?
1145
00:59:32,730 --> 00:59:35,390
I'm sorry. I
1146
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,770
It's wrong.
We shouldn't be doing this.
1147
00:59:42,700 --> 00:59:45,910
Well, it's your loss.
1148
00:59:45,990 --> 00:59:49,740
I was just drunk enough
to actually say, Fuck it.
1149
00:59:51,580 --> 00:59:53,580
I know.
1150
00:59:55,050 --> 00:59:57,040
I know.
1151
01:00:09,890 --> 01:00:11,350
Fuck.
1152
01:00:16,610 --> 01:00:19,150
Local legend
John Adams sat in the bleachers
1153
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,270
and hit his base drum as he always did
1154
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:24,110
when the Indians were in need of a rally.
1155
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:27,110
They were down and the
game was slipping away.
1156
01:01:13,580 --> 01:01:15,790
Fuck it.
1157
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,000
Hello?
1158
01:01:24,090 --> 01:01:27,430
Who found them?
1159
01:01:28,260 --> 01:01:29,850
Hello? Nick?
1160
01:01:29,930 --> 01:01:32,510
It's all fucked, Luis, it's all fucked.
1161
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:34,970
I don't understand.
What do you mean?
1162
01:01:35,060 --> 01:01:36,430
I just
1163
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:39,860
When is it going to be my time?
1164
01:01:39,940 --> 01:01:42,400
Nick, I have to go.
1165
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:44,690
It's Christmas, you know?
1166
01:01:44,780 --> 01:01:47,900
I know I said that I was
going to get a cab home
1167
01:01:47,990 --> 01:01:52,910
but I really need you to come get me.
1168
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,540
I need to see a familiar face.
1169
01:01:55,620 --> 01:01:57,830
Hey, I'm not a taxi service, okay?
1170
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:00,880
You don't have any respect for me, man.
1171
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:02,370
You're my Number One Guy
1172
01:02:02,460 --> 01:02:05,250
You're a drunk!
1173
01:02:05,340 --> 01:02:09,210
And I'm sick and tired
of taking care of you
1174
01:02:09,300 --> 01:02:11,390
What are you talking about?
1175
01:02:11,470 --> 01:02:14,180
You are the worst boss I've ever had.
1176
01:02:14,270 --> 01:02:16,100
I don't care if I have to stand
1177
01:02:16,190 --> 01:02:20,270
in front of a Home Depot
for the rest of my life.
1178
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:23,520
I quit! Punta!
1179
01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:29,610
What have I?
1180
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,250
No, we shouldn't.
1181
01:02:45,340 --> 01:02:46,670
Yes, we should.
1182
01:02:47,220 --> 01:02:49,960
Okay, wait
No, no, no.
1183
01:02:50,050 --> 01:02:51,790
I really want you to get your nose
1184
01:02:51,890 --> 01:02:52,470
I mean,
1185
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,670
I don't know how much further
I can get it in there.
1186
01:02:54,770 --> 01:02:57,260
All is calm
1187
01:02:57,350 --> 01:03:02,720
All is bright
1188
01:03:03,190 --> 01:03:04,600
What is Do Not Disturb?
1189
01:03:06,700 --> 01:03:07,280
Swirl it.
1190
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,700
Oh, so it's quiet.
It's on Quiet mode.
1191
01:03:09,780 --> 01:03:11,740
So what if we want noise?
1192
01:03:11,830 --> 01:03:13,660
What noises does it make?
1193
01:03:14,410 --> 01:03:16,870
Hey, hey, that's Mommy's juice!
1194
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,120
What's this?
1195
01:03:18,210 --> 01:03:21,620
This is Timmy's Kindergarten Adventure.
1196
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:27,380
I have never really tasted wine before.
1197
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,800
I have really never
tasted it before either.
1198
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:31,040
And I can't taste it anymore.
1199
01:03:31,090 --> 01:03:32,710
This is it, right?
1200
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,730
One, two, three.
Two, three.
1201
01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,640
That was really terrible.
Did you hear my burp?
1202
01:03:48,740 --> 01:03:49,320
No.
1203
01:03:50,530 --> 01:03:54,370
Holy night
1204
01:03:54,450 --> 01:03:59,070
All is calm
1205
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:02,330
All is bright
1206
01:04:06,670 --> 01:04:08,660
Oh, Jesus.
1207
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:11,670
You feel so fucking good.
1208
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:12,430
Am I tight?
1209
01:04:12,510 --> 01:04:14,340
Oh, you're so fucking tight.
1210
01:04:14,430 --> 01:04:17,970
Oh, Jesus Christ, you feel so good.
1211
01:04:24,230 --> 01:04:33,200
Sleep in heavenly peace
1212
01:04:38,620 --> 01:04:40,360
By the end of the 8th inning,
1213
01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:43,990
things turned real ugly.
1214
01:04:44,170 --> 01:04:46,200
The Indians were down two runs
1215
01:04:46,290 --> 01:04:47,750
and were only three outs away
1216
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:50,550
from ending one of the
most out of control,
1217
01:04:50,630 --> 01:04:53,050
unpredictable games
that America's past-time
1218
01:04:53,130 --> 01:04:56,170
has ever endured.
1219
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:10,310
Nick, we thought you had left.
1220
01:05:13,490 --> 01:05:15,570
Why did you marry my brother?
1221
01:05:15,660 --> 01:05:19,570
He's my dream husband.
1222
01:05:19,660 --> 01:05:22,030
C'mon, you're a smart lady.
1223
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:25,870
You know this isn't real, right?
1224
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:30,420
Cody's charming.
1225
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:33,340
And he makes me feel good.
1226
01:05:33,430 --> 01:05:35,920
You think he feels
the same way about you?
1227
01:05:36,010 --> 01:05:38,340
Of course!
He married me.
1228
01:05:38,430 --> 01:05:39,760
Nah.
1229
01:05:39,850 --> 01:05:41,680
You married him.
1230
01:05:41,770 --> 01:05:44,430
You think he's after my money.
1231
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:46,390
Amongst other things.
1232
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:48,270
Mm-hmm.
1233
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:51,850
So, who should I have married?
1234
01:05:51,940 --> 01:05:53,650
Someone like you?
1235
01:05:53,740 --> 01:05:55,600
You're not really my type.
1236
01:05:55,700 --> 01:05:57,030
I'm so sad to hear that.
1237
01:06:04,830 --> 01:06:09,830
Honey, did you get that Bordeaux?
1238
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,120
Yeah.
I found a mouse, too.
1239
01:06:12,210 --> 01:06:14,800
Ew! A mouse?
Where?
1240
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,640
It was in one of those
traps but he's dead.
1241
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:18,380
Um, it was really gross.
1242
01:06:18,470 --> 01:06:19,820
Yeah, he's gone now.
He's in the trash.
1243
01:06:19,850 --> 01:06:21,460
Don't worry about it.
1244
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,260
Sophie might not
know what's going on, but I do.
1245
01:06:24,350 --> 01:06:28,690
I could see it all over
their stupid faces.
1246
01:06:31,770 --> 01:06:34,310
They've been texting
back and forth all day,
1247
01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:36,230
planning this.
1248
01:06:37,110 --> 01:06:40,950
That dirty message I saw on
Valerie's phone was from him.
1249
01:06:41,620 --> 01:06:42,620
Nick!
1250
01:06:42,700 --> 01:06:44,440
Jeez, man, you almost broke my phone.
1251
01:06:44,540 --> 01:06:46,030
She's really good, babe.
1252
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,360
You saw the pics for the website.
1253
01:06:48,460 --> 01:06:49,790
Sexting?
1254
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:52,460
Yeah, sometimes.
1255
01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,130
Can you just come in?
I can't hear you.
1256
01:06:56,090 --> 01:06:58,210
You know, it's not what
you think it is around here.
1257
01:07:01,970 --> 01:07:03,930
Fuckin' piece of shit.
1258
01:07:04,890 --> 01:07:05,930
Nick!
1259
01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:09,180
Fuck!
1260
01:07:15,610 --> 01:07:16,690
Can I bum a smoke?
1261
01:07:16,780 --> 01:07:19,740
The aftersex cigarette.
1262
01:07:20,410 --> 01:07:22,020
Just have mine.
1263
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:23,950
Thanks.
1264
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:29,160
You seem relaxed.
1265
01:07:29,250 --> 01:07:31,710
Yeah, I needed that.
Yeah, I bet you did.
1266
01:07:31,790 --> 01:07:33,790
It's been a pretty crazy day.
1267
01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:35,870
You could say that.
1268
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:37,860
Are you still upset about
what happened in the car?
1269
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,210
No.
Are you okay?
1270
01:07:40,300 --> 01:07:42,210
Sure.
1271
01:07:42,300 --> 01:07:44,140
Look, don't be weird.
1272
01:07:44,220 --> 01:07:45,410
I mean, you can still send me that picture
1273
01:07:45,430 --> 01:07:47,140
as an early Christmas present.
1274
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:57,090
With one out
in the bottom of the ninth,
1275
01:07:57,110 --> 01:07:58,770
the Indians rallied.
1276
01:07:58,860 --> 01:08:00,940
Centerfielder George Hendrick hit a double
1277
01:08:01,030 --> 01:08:04,240
and scored when pinch hitter
Ed Crosby singled.
1278
01:08:05,410 --> 01:08:07,280
Pinch hitter Rusty Torres hit a single,
1279
01:08:07,370 --> 01:08:09,660
moving Crosby to second.
1280
01:08:10,370 --> 01:08:13,620
Alan Ashby, the third
pinch hitter in a row,
1281
01:08:13,710 --> 01:08:15,500
delivered another single.
1282
01:08:15,590 --> 01:08:17,450
The bases were loaded.
1283
01:08:23,550 --> 01:08:27,920
The sacrifice fly from third
baseman John Lowenstein
1284
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:32,220
brought Crosby home
to tie the game five to five.
1285
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:34,640
On second base,
1286
01:08:34,730 --> 01:08:38,070
Rusty Torres represented the winning run.
1287
01:08:38,150 --> 01:08:40,890
Victory was in the lndians' grasp.
1288
01:08:50,500 --> 01:08:52,490
We should hit the road pretty soon.
1289
01:08:52,580 --> 01:08:55,370
Yeah, Nick, you want
to split a cab with us?
1290
01:08:55,460 --> 01:08:57,040
Nah.
1291
01:08:57,130 --> 01:08:59,790
I do have a question for you two.
1292
01:08:59,880 --> 01:09:01,500
You both work in electronics, right?
1293
01:09:01,590 --> 01:09:02,500
You know this shit.
1294
01:09:02,590 --> 01:09:03,590
What's up?
1295
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,670
Hypothetically speaking,
just hypothetical,
1296
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:10,720
let's say that I recorded some
footage on my phone here
1297
01:09:10,810 --> 01:09:12,670
that's X-rated in nature.
1298
01:09:12,770 --> 01:09:13,980
Gross!
1299
01:09:14,060 --> 01:09:17,020
I said, hypothetically.
Still, gross.
1300
01:09:17,110 --> 01:09:21,850
So, it's this girl and this older guy
1301
01:09:21,940 --> 01:09:25,110
and they're doin' it in the
basement, dog-style, right?
1302
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,190
Nick, no one wants to hear this.
1303
01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:31,240
So, it's nasty, right?
'K.
1304
01:09:31,330 --> 01:09:33,370
Language is super-dirty
1305
01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:37,870
and it's just about how
great her lady-parts are,
1306
01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:40,170
and how tight she is.
1307
01:09:40,250 --> 01:09:42,940
Yeah, I think tight is the word
that was used.
Nick, shut your mouth, man.
1308
01:09:42,970 --> 01:09:46,130
Anyway, there's got
to be some way for me
1309
01:09:46,220 --> 01:09:49,840
to email it to everybody
in my address book, right?
1310
01:09:49,930 --> 01:09:51,810
Well, you might want
to go on your computer
1311
01:09:51,850 --> 01:09:52,930
Jesus!
1312
01:09:53,020 --> 01:09:55,230
Honey!
What the hell is wrong with you?
1313
01:09:55,310 --> 01:09:58,270
Cody, stop it!
1314
01:10:06,860 --> 01:10:09,200
What's going on?
1315
01:10:09,950 --> 01:10:11,740
She started it.
1316
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,150
Holy shit.
1317
01:10:14,910 --> 01:10:16,530
Oh, my God.
1318
01:10:16,620 --> 01:10:19,080
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
Listen, I can explain.
1319
01:10:19,170 --> 01:10:20,000
Listen.
1320
01:10:20,090 --> 01:10:21,610
No, no, let's not blow
this out of proportion.
Oh, my God.
1321
01:10:21,630 --> 01:10:23,340
No, no, no, no.
Relax, Sophie.
1322
01:10:23,420 --> 01:10:28,380
I left my husband for you.
Sophie, listen. Soph
1323
01:10:31,180 --> 01:10:35,930
I said it was hypothetical.
1324
01:10:36,020 --> 01:10:39,010
I don't have any footage.
1325
01:10:39,810 --> 01:10:43,930
I presented it as
a hypothetical situation.
1326
01:10:44,030 --> 01:10:47,440
I said the word like, five times now.
1327
01:10:47,530 --> 01:10:48,530
Right?
1328
01:10:48,570 --> 01:10:50,940
So you guys are my witnesses.
1329
01:10:51,030 --> 01:10:54,820
You owe me a phone, little brother.
1330
01:10:55,540 --> 01:10:59,330
You son of a bitch.
I'm gonna kill you.
1331
01:11:03,630 --> 01:11:07,120
And that's when all hell broke loose.
1332
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:11,010
At which point fans ran onto the field
1333
01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:12,360
and grabbed for the Texas Ranger
1334
01:11:12,390 --> 01:11:14,050
right outfielder Jeff Burroughs,
1335
01:11:14,140 --> 01:11:16,260
and then the full-scale
riot was on.
1336
01:11:16,350 --> 01:11:17,700
From the Ranger dugout,
1337
01:11:17,730 --> 01:11:21,020
it looked as if one of their
own had been attacked.
1338
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:24,060
Manager Billy Martin led the charge.
1339
01:11:24,150 --> 01:11:27,230
The Rangers ran out of their
dugout armed with bats
1340
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,730
and whatever weapons they could find.
1341
01:11:29,820 --> 01:11:31,560
The drunken crowd stormed the field
1342
01:11:31,660 --> 01:11:33,150
with weapons of their own.
1343
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:35,950
Within seconds, the Rangers
were heavily outnumbered
1344
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:37,900
and outgunned.
1345
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:40,960
Indians manager Ken Aspromonte
1346
01:11:41,040 --> 01:11:43,000
ordered his team onto the field,
1347
01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:46,750
not to attack the Rangers,
but their own fans.
1348
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:48,670
Indians pitcher Tom Hilgendorf
1349
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:52,050
was hit in the head
with a steel folding chair.
1350
01:11:52,140 --> 01:11:55,430
Ranger Mark Hargrove
was attacked from behind.
1351
01:11:57,270 --> 01:12:00,130
In turn, this future Indian
gave his attacker
1352
01:12:00,230 --> 01:12:02,600
a beating that he'd never forget.
1353
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:05,390
It was pure chaos.
1354
01:12:05,480 --> 01:12:07,130
Both Ranger manager Billy Martin
1355
01:12:07,150 --> 01:12:08,640
and Indian manager Ken Aspromonte
1356
01:12:08,740 --> 01:12:10,350
were shaken by the incident.
1357
01:12:10,450 --> 01:12:13,360
In all their years in baseball
they had never encountered
1358
01:12:13,450 --> 01:12:14,940
such a frightening experience.
1359
01:12:15,030 --> 01:12:16,300
When a large hunting knife
1360
01:12:16,330 --> 01:12:19,570
landed at umpire Nestor Chylak's feet,
1361
01:12:19,660 --> 01:12:22,620
he knew what he had to do:
A forfeit.
1362
01:12:24,170 --> 01:12:26,630
The Rangers were declared the winners
1363
01:12:26,710 --> 01:12:28,700
but that was merely a formality.
1364
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:31,210
It was time to make a break for it.
1365
01:12:31,300 --> 01:12:34,880
Together the Indians and the
Rangers ran from the field.
1366
01:12:34,970 --> 01:12:37,210
They headed for the stadium's tunnels,
1367
01:12:37,310 --> 01:12:41,220
away from the rioters
before someone would get killed.
1368
01:12:41,310 --> 01:12:43,350
Bases were stolen;
1369
01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:46,900
Seats were trashed,
ripped from the concrete.
1370
01:12:46,980 --> 01:12:48,020
It took twenty minutes
1371
01:12:48,110 --> 01:12:50,350
for the Cleveland police
department's riot squad
1372
01:12:50,440 --> 01:12:52,530
to show up on the scene.
1373
01:13:00,830 --> 01:13:02,910
But there was some good
to come out of that violent,
1374
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,410
alcohol-soaked evening.
1375
01:13:05,500 --> 01:13:07,990
Paul Wilkins, seated in the upper deck,
1376
01:13:08,090 --> 01:13:12,250
finally had the nerve to do
what he couldn't for weeks:
1377
01:13:12,340 --> 01:13:16,630
He kissed Tammy Budnick long and good.
1378
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:20,010
The young couple was lost in the moment,
1379
01:13:21,020 --> 01:13:22,720
oblivious to the fact that the world
1380
01:13:22,810 --> 01:13:26,180
was collapsing around them.
1381
01:13:26,810 --> 01:13:27,930
Six and a half months later,
1382
01:13:28,020 --> 01:13:30,890
they were married in Lakewood, Ohio.
1383
01:13:31,190 --> 01:13:34,980
Three months after that, I was born.
1384
01:13:35,070 --> 01:13:38,190
That was the beginning
of the Wilkins family.
1385
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:41,610
It hasn't been the same since Dad died
1386
01:13:41,700 --> 01:13:43,990
but we'll figure it out.
1387
01:14:14,990 --> 01:14:17,480
You want a cup of coffee?
1388
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:21,200
Yeah. Thanks.
1389
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,460
There.
1390
01:14:37,550 --> 01:14:39,790
Be careful, it's hot.
1391
01:14:45,850 --> 01:14:47,470
Jesus
1392
01:14:47,560 --> 01:14:49,640
all I taste is blood.
1393
01:14:49,730 --> 01:14:50,440
Here.
1394
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:52,260
I can put some Bailey's in that.
1395
01:14:52,360 --> 01:14:54,520
Naw, no, I'm good.
1396
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:59,490
I think I should quit that.
1397
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:05,070
You should see a dentist.
1398
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:07,200
Yeah, I'll go tomorrow.
1399
01:15:07,290 --> 01:15:10,000
Tomorrow? You
1400
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:13,330
Right.
1401
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:18,920
Where's Cody?
1402
01:15:19,010 --> 01:15:21,670
He's at a hotel.
1403
01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:24,850
The kids?
1404
01:15:24,930 --> 01:15:26,890
Um, they're at their father's.
1405
01:15:29,520 --> 01:15:34,140
I'm sorry I ruined your Christmas.
1406
01:15:37,780 --> 01:15:40,900
You didn't.
1407
01:15:42,660 --> 01:15:47,280
I was with Mark,
my first husband,
1408
01:15:47,370 --> 01:15:50,960
for twenty-one years.
1409
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:54,000
And one day I woke up and that young,
1410
01:15:54,090 --> 01:16:00,460
handsome man I married
wasn't in bed next to me.
1411
01:16:00,550 --> 01:16:05,550
I was sleeping with an old, bald man
1412
01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:09,180
and it freaked me out.
1413
01:16:10,690 --> 01:16:14,600
So I decided to do something about it.
1414
01:16:14,690 --> 01:16:20,530
And I didn't think about
anybody but myself.
1415
01:16:21,450 --> 01:16:26,320
I want you to know
I'm not the good guy here.
1416
01:16:26,410 --> 01:16:29,570
I mean
1417
01:16:29,660 --> 01:16:32,120
I'm a gross, disgusting man.
1418
01:16:32,210 --> 01:16:34,750
No.
Look at me.
1419
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:39,460
I'm no better than my brother.
1420
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,630
You are.
1421
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:48,460
Alright.
1422
01:16:51,140 --> 01:16:54,760
I don't care,
it's just us here.
1423
01:17:05,530 --> 01:17:07,990
Merry Christmas.
1424
01:17:19,380 --> 01:17:21,020
Cleveland's had plenty of lows
1425
01:17:21,050 --> 01:17:23,380
since Ten Cent Beer Night.
1426
01:17:23,470 --> 01:17:25,250
The Drive.
1427
01:17:25,340 --> 01:17:27,050
The Fumble.
1428
01:17:27,140 --> 01:17:28,800
The Shot.
1429
01:17:30,470 --> 01:17:33,260
But we've come to accept it.
1430
01:17:34,690 --> 01:17:37,150
It's who we are.
1431
01:17:57,170 --> 01:18:00,130
And with that, the Wilkins
family Christmas tale
1432
01:18:00,210 --> 01:18:02,670
comes to an end.
1433
01:18:08,010 --> 01:18:10,350
Thanks, Nick.
1434
01:18:10,430 --> 01:18:13,050
This has been
Beat of the Drum.
1435
01:18:18,730 --> 01:18:20,520
Oh, let me get that, boss.
1436
01:18:21,230 --> 01:18:22,600
I got it.
1437
01:18:22,690 --> 01:18:24,810
Thanks, Luis.
Welcome back, buddy.
98581
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