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All language subtitles for Interviewing.Monsters.and.Bigfoot.2019.PROPER.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,017 [wind whistling] [light footsteps rustling] 2 00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:18,061 - [Cory] By the end of the second decade 3 00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,020 of the 21st century, it was uniformly agreed, 4 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:22,022 by scientist and scholar alike, 5 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,546 that the mythical forest creature known as Bigfoot 6 00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,026 was simply a hoax. 7 00:00:30,813 --> 00:00:33,163 This is the story of the people who set out 8 00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:34,904 to prove them wrong. 9 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,733 [bird screeching] 10 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:39,604 [birds chirping] 11 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,085 [man panting] 12 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,394 [footsteps thudding] 13 00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,549 [gun firing] 14 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,377 - All right, all right! [drumming music] 15 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,988 I knew she was your sister! 16 00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,645 But come on, man, I ain't the only one been ridin' that bus. 17 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,083 [gun firing] 18 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,128 You're the forest ranger here. 19 00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:27,913 You swore to protect everything in these woods. 20 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,133 - She had to have anal rejuvenation surgery 21 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,047 'cause of you. [metal clanking] 22 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,048 [typewriter clacking] 23 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,615 - [Cory] Forest Ranger Billy Teal, 24 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:37,706 my childhood friend and more recently my nemesis. 25 00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:38,881 - [Fran] What we done... 26 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:40,404 - Fran Andersen. [typewriter clacking] 27 00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:43,277 Without him, this story would be a lot more believable. 28 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:47,107 - Was perfectly legal consensual sexual behavior. 29 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,414 [gun firing] 30 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:53,243 - She may be over 21, but she's not all there 31 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,115 and you know it. 32 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:58,553 [animal grunting lightly] 33 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:02,470 - Using your glasses was her idea. 34 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:09,912 - [Ranger Billy] I'm gonna shoot you 35 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,174 in your smart mouth Andersen [gun firing] 36 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,568 so you can't tell anyone what you did. 37 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,135 - [Fran] And who the hell am I gonna tell? 38 00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,789 I ain't even from around here. 39 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,139 - I told you to stay out of these woods. 40 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,750 [gun firing] 41 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,143 And I warned you about my sister. 42 00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,754 [guns firing] 43 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,846 [upbeat country music] 44 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:31,934 - That's my honey. 45 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:32,935 [chuckles] 46 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,546 [gun firing] [glass shattering] 47 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:36,547 [squirrel squeaking] 48 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,549 Dammit, sorry, buddy. 49 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,161 [gun firing] 50 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,553 [Cory grunting] 51 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,599 - Relax, killer, feel it. 52 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,342 [sighs] 53 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,604 [typewriter clacking] 54 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,476 - There she is, the only woman I ever loved. 55 00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,174 My wife, Carla. 56 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,784 What I can feel, honey, is you rubbing your junk 57 00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:56,567 up against me? 58 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:57,829 - My junk? 59 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,918 Don't you mean my cuddly little kitty? 60 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,791 [chuckles] Shoot those cans, tiger. 61 00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:03,618 [gun firing] 62 00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:04,793 [Carla grunting] 63 00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,882 [Cory grunting] 64 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,014 You gonna let those cans have their way with me? 65 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,625 Is that what you want? 66 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:13,323 The mother of your child passed around and ravaged 67 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,064 by some lecherous cans? 68 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:15,934 - Okay. 69 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,329 All right. 70 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,766 [gun firing] 71 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:22,680 [laughing] 72 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,334 - [Carla] Oh, Professor. 73 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,944 [gasps] You saved me. 74 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,164 - There's nothing out here that'll hurt you now, my love. 75 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,383 [Carla giggling] 76 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:30,384 [both moaning] 77 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:31,298 I love you. 78 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:33,996 - It's dark. 79 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,216 Left brain wants some wine. 80 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:42,396 - You know right brain's thinking about something else. 81 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,659 - Not now, Professor. 82 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,617 - The law of survival states 83 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,402 that if I don't get me some every day 84 00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:50,882 right about this time, I will die. 85 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,188 - No, no, no. 86 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,321 You're not going to die. 87 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,496 - You know the woods brings out 88 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,889 the beast in me. [Carla giggling] 89 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:58,977 - Stop. 90 00:03:59,108 --> 00:03:59,848 [Cory grunts] 91 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:00,762 You go get some wine. 92 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,980 Go. 93 00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,591 How did you ever turn into a grown ass man 94 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,984 with your shit together with that thing calling the shots? 95 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,552 [chuckles] Go! 96 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:25,090 [animal growling] 97 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,832 [bird chirping] 98 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:36,406 [animal growling] [Carla gasping] 99 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:39,148 [ominous music] 100 00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:48,766 [animal growling] [sticks clattering] 101 00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:56,557 [animal groaning] 102 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,036 Cory, is that you? 103 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:04,042 Who's there? 104 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:06,958 Hello? 105 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,264 [door thuds] 106 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:11,615 Oh, damn, I knew you were gonna do that. 107 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,703 Where have you been? 108 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,357 - I was out communing with nature. 109 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,619 - What is that? 110 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,317 - It's a turd. 111 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:18,927 - Gross, why didn't you just leave it in the woods 112 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,843 like the rest of the forest creatures? 113 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,714 Why is it so big? 114 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:24,976 - Honey, it didn't come out of me. 115 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,151 - [Carla] Oh. 116 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,370 - It also didn't come out of a bear. 117 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,850 I wanna know what made this. 118 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,766 - Did you taste it, Professor? 119 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,290 - Sweetie, you know I taste everything out here 120 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,509 except for my own pee. 121 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,553 Take the turd. 122 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:37,902 - I don't really wanna take turd. 123 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:38,512 - [Cory] No, take the turd, it goes with the Merlot. 124 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:39,339 - But I think you-- 125 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,209 - Take the turd. 126 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,166 Honey, honey, take the turd. 127 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,516 Thanks, you know the drill. 128 00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,343 I'm gonna get some firewood. 129 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,300 - Mmm hmm. - Love you. 130 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,083 - Mmm hmm. - Love you. 131 00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:45,910 - Mmm hmm. 132 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,746 [animal grumbling] 133 00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:59,184 You're not gonna scare me again. 134 00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:02,666 I'm gonna beat you with this turd! 135 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,320 Stop messin' around! 136 00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:10,500 [animal growling] [insects chirping] 137 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:13,329 [animal growling] 138 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,638 [ominous music] 139 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,607 [Carla screaming] [creature screaming] 140 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,000 [creature growling] [lively country music] 141 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,567 [gun firing] 142 00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:35,917 [Carla screaming] 143 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:36,831 [gun firing] [Carla grunting] 144 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,442 [turd thudding] 145 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:46,057 [Carla thudding] [tense music] 146 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,277 [birds chirping] 147 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,498 [lively country music] 148 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,074 - Carla! 149 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:04,511 [rifle thudding] 150 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:05,337 [Carla groaning] 151 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,296 [Carla thudding] 152 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,166 Carla! 153 00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,347 [eerie music] 154 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,264 Carla, no! 155 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,051 [rifle firing] 156 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:28,317 [bird screeching] 157 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,753 No! 158 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:30,754 You bastard! 159 00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:37,935 [crying] [tense music] 160 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,677 [rain pattering] 161 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,858 [thunder cracking] 162 00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,477 No, you fucking bastard! 163 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,351 [eerie music] 164 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:14,885 [lively music] 165 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:17,714 ♪ They say I'm gonna have to do ♪ 166 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,151 ♪ And you know it's sad but true ♪ 167 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,936 ♪ But there's worst things somebody ♪ 168 00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:25,200 ♪ Mighty love, already know it's true ♪ 169 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:26,070 ♪ We said work 170 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:27,376 ♪ I do believe in 171 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,638 ♪ Work work 172 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:29,900 ♪ Doesn't believe in [glass shattering] 173 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:31,075 ♪ Now I don't believe 174 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,860 ♪ Said I believe 175 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:37,125 ♪ Bigfoot doesn't believe 176 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:41,912 - [Toothless Hussy] Gotta get your stuff there anyways. 177 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,261 - [Cory] Hey, Gloria! 178 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,307 - [Gloria] Let me get you home. 179 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,352 It's not your fault! - Hello! 180 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:50,834 - Bye girls. - Bitch, gimme back my wig! 181 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,575 Bitch, gimme back my wig. 182 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:53,794 ♪ Baby 183 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:54,925 - I need my wig back. ♪ How you sing 184 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,710 - Gimme this damn thing! 185 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,320 [women screaming] 186 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,408 - You be nice, huh? 187 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,757 Larry. 188 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,151 How are ya? - Oh no you don't. 189 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,721 It's time to go. 190 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,506 [glass clanking] 191 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:12,769 - Gloria Teal, [typewriter clacking] 192 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,336 my best research assistant 193 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,904 and the daughter I never had. 194 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,733 And that's her daughter, Cassie. 195 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,518 - Come on, Cassie, help Mommy. 196 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,390 ♪ I like to swing, wear my boots ♪ 197 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,176 ♪ High heel cowboy boots 198 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:32,267 ♪ There's nothing you can do that I can't ♪ 199 00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,748 ♪ And I believe in sleeping man ♪ 200 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,054 ♪ And crazy plans 201 00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:39,579 [horn tooting] 202 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,585 [dog barking] 203 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,891 - Pastor Evans, you're a mess. 204 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,719 - Yes, I am. 205 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,330 - And you peed your pants. 206 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,418 - Yes, I did. 207 00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:55,682 [dog barking] 208 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:59,860 - [Gloria] You don't need any more of that. 209 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,428 - [Cory] Did I tell you Casey's coming home? 210 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,171 - [Gloria] I guess he'll be staying at the house? 211 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,651 - [Cory] He can sleep with the interns. 212 00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:09,347 - You sure he's not gonna mind [train whistle tooting] 213 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:10,784 us being there? 214 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:11,915 - [Cory] You guys are the best damn assistants 215 00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:15,266 I ever had next to Carla. [gentle music] 216 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:16,616 - [Gloria] [sighs] I have something really important 217 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,705 I need to talk to you about, okay? 218 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:19,880 - [Cory] Okay. 219 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,663 [Cory coughing] 220 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:21,533 - Oh. 221 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:23,971 There you go. 222 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:27,104 Yep, right there, let it out. [Cory gagging] 223 00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:28,453 There you go. 224 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,586 Oh, you want me to hold your hair for you? 225 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,805 [Cory gagging and coughing] 226 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:32,893 Easy, Grandpa. 227 00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:34,024 You're gonna break a hip or something. 228 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:34,851 [Cory grunting] 229 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,114 Hey, Professor Mathis. 230 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:38,855 I have something really important to talk to you about. 231 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:39,726 - Just let me sit. 232 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:40,509 Let me sit. - You can sit. 233 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,989 Just sit. 234 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,555 - [Cory] Come on, just tell me. 235 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,080 - That little girl in there. 236 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,864 - [Cory] I love that little girl. 237 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,344 - That little girl in there [dog barking] 238 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,607 might be your granddaughter. 239 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:59,006 - [laughing] I knew it! 240 00:10:59,136 --> 00:10:59,876 Woo hoo! 241 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:02,836 - I'm not 100% for sure - I knew it! 242 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:03,793 - but I'm pretty positive. - You hear that now? 243 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:04,576 - What's happening? 244 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:05,447 What's going on? 245 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,144 - This is so freakin' great. 246 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,276 [fist thudding] 247 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:11,627 You [laughing] are my granddaughter. 248 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,237 I knew it all along, honey. 249 00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:15,065 Come here and give grandpa a hug. 250 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,414 - [Cassie] Professor, you smell! 251 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,807 [lively electric guitar music] 252 00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:21,158 - The first Bigfoot sighting was awful fantastic 253 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,945 made by Leif Ericson, upon reaching the new world. 254 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,903 But I guess we'll never really know the truth. 255 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,210 Certainly not this time, my friends. 256 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,561 So buckle your seatbelt, our story's about to unfold. 257 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:36,043 I'll tell you a tale what's never been told. 258 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,350 [whistling] 259 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,310 [Cory grunting] 260 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,009 [typewriter clacking] 261 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,533 - I am Professor Cory Mathis 262 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:49,665 and I was completely unprepared 263 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,146 for the public spectacle my life would become 264 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:53,495 after the event. 265 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:58,848 We're never prepared for the things we expect to happen, 266 00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:01,895 let alone the things we can't explain. 267 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:11,295 [lively country rock music] 268 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,873 ♪ Heaven is when I get back with my baby ♪ 269 00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:25,745 - [George] Your a-hole ex was just here. 270 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,616 - He said he'd never come back to this shit hole. 271 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:32,012 - We had to remind him why this shit hole hates him. 272 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,362 - This whole town is insane. 273 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,103 ♪ Be online with 274 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:38,322 - [George] Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 275 00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,934 - You better step away from me, you sad sack of shit. 276 00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,544 - Have you even considered shit. 277 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,111 I may have let it slip to your homo ex 278 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,722 about me an' you hookin' up-- 279 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,289 [knee thudding] [Gloria grunting] 280 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,118 [George grunting] 281 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,338 [loud tapping] 282 00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,993 - [Gloria] Uncle Billy. 283 00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:59,953 [people chattering] 284 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:05,393 ♪ It's no sin and no lie that I have done ♪ 285 00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:06,829 - Somebody needs to fix that rug. 286 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,700 ♪ Though we shoot in Hollywood 287 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,791 ♪ I always stay 288 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,793 - Cleanup on aisle three. 289 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:16,883 - Jean. 290 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:17,927 [child shouting] 291 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,842 Coffee please, okay? 292 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,149 I warned you about that Mathis. 293 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,281 - Well, hi, nice to see you, too, Uncle Billy. 294 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,892 - Some guy almost got caught in one of his traps 295 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,632 in the woods, just last week. 296 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,547 Damn near ripped his leg off. 297 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,506 Someone gets really hurt out there, 298 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:32,855 you'll be heading to jail. 299 00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,465 - Why aren't you wearing your glasses? 300 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,816 - I got into a rub with that skunk Fran Andersen 301 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,731 and I shoved 'em up his ass. 302 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,342 - You have been after him for a year. 303 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:42,734 - Right up in his freakin' ass. 304 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,432 - Can you just leave him alone? 305 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:45,955 - You want me to leave him alone? 306 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:50,351 He's been sneaking into my house, molesting my sister. 307 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:51,656 - Auntie Sissy? 308 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:56,966 No one's doing anything to her that she doesn't want. 309 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,665 - He gave her the crabs. 310 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,277 She didn't want that. 311 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:04,495 Then I got 'em. 312 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:09,283 - Well, maybe you should stop taking her dirty clothes 313 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,893 out of the laundry hamper. 314 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,547 - Yeah well, what do you want me to do? 315 00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,897 She keeps the clean stuff locked up. 316 00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,160 - Do you need anything else, Billy? 317 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,466 - Maybe later. 318 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,511 [cheek clicks] 319 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:22,992 - Aren't you gonna say hi to your daddy? 320 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,037 - Hey, Frank. 321 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,869 - [Customer] Jeanie, we're ready to order. 322 00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,654 - Okay, so, what about the Professor? 323 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,308 Can't you at least leave him alone? 324 00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:35,352 You guys used to be friends. 325 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:37,659 - Look, Gloria, you're my favorite niece 326 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:41,532 and I know you work for the Professor. 327 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:45,188 But I'm sworn to protect everything in that forest. 328 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,886 Every bird, squirrel, 329 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,366 tree, rock, gerbil. 330 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,239 - Okay, Uncle Billy. - Lion, tiger-- 331 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,893 - I understand. 332 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,459 - Mexican. 333 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,157 - The Professor and Fran are not gonna stop 334 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,158 until they find the creature 335 00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,594 and clear the Professor's name. 336 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,727 - There's no monster in those woods, period. 337 00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,468 Jeez, this whole town is crazy. 338 00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:08,081 ♪ I'm working till whatever's on ♪ 339 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,518 - Crud, there's Andersen now. 340 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,220 Andersen! 341 00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:35,064 [truck rumbling] 342 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,035 [Casey grunting] 343 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,428 [gun firing] 344 00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,997 [birds chirping] 345 00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,523 [door clattering] 346 00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,092 - I haven't seen you since the funeral. 347 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,702 And you're not gonna talk? 348 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:09,359 - [Casey] No one cares about your stupid monster hunt, Dad. 349 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,927 - Look, I need your help. 350 00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,234 I'm that close to proving my side of the story. 351 00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:15,104 - Story? 352 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,801 There is no story. 353 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,107 It's just people thinking that you're crazy 354 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,719 when you start talking about monsters or UFOs. 355 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,287 - Well, they can think I'm crazy. 356 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,680 I know the truth. 357 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,509 - I just don't understand why you couldn't have just said 358 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:29,771 it was a bear or something. 359 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,165 - It wasn't a bear. 360 00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,644 Want some of this? 361 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:36,386 Yeah. 362 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,738 [puffs] It doesn't matter what people think anyway. 363 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:41,739 - No, actually, you're wrong. 364 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:42,784 'Cause around here it does matter 365 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,004 what people think about you. 366 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,744 - You know what I think? 367 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,529 I think you take yourself way too seriously. 368 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,009 It's always, me, me, me, with you. 369 00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:53,273 - And it's always you, you, you, with me. 370 00:16:55,753 --> 00:17:00,193 - Look, I loved your mother with my whole heart. 371 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:03,674 You know I never once made her cry. 372 00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,546 She was an amazing woman. 373 00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:07,156 No one believed me. 374 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:10,507 All the evidence just washed away. 375 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:13,684 - So, you shot a squirrel's tail off? 376 00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:17,166 - [Cory] It's out there right now. 377 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,298 - The monster? 378 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,215 - [Cory] No, the tailless squirrel. 379 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:28,221 - [Casey] You can't take anything seriously. 380 00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:30,658 - That'll give 'em something to talk about. 381 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:33,400 [truck rumbling] 382 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,202 - People think people like us are wacko. 383 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,160 Hell, until it happened to me, [typewriter clacking] 384 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,074 I thought people 385 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:55,900 like us are wacko. - We're not just 386 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,380 some lazy trailer trash claiming 387 00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,121 to see it, okay. - Lilly, how do you know 388 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:00,166 it's just not [tense music] 389 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,211 a frickin' hunter that didn't shave? 390 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,995 - No, I know a hunter when I see one. 391 00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,649 - Went to go get a pizza when this big thing 392 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,434 crossed the road in front of us. 393 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,914 - It was reddish and way too big for a bear or a dog. 394 00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:10,611 It was walking on two legs. - When our headlights hit it, 395 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,265 it just dove into the bushes. 396 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,266 - I was like, oh my God! 397 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,137 I want a picture for my page. 398 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:16,704 I want a picture for my page. 399 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,227 - So, I move forward 400 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,794 thinking I could get a back shot of whatever 401 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:20,969 it was running off. - And all of the sudden, 402 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,101 the thing jumps forward. - But it wasn't running. 403 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,014 - It was just hiding - And then hit the doorknob 404 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,407 - In the bushes. - And knocked my phone 405 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,453 right out of my hands. [Marge and creature screaming] 406 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,150 - I slammed the truck into gear, 407 00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,587 but it had hold of the truck. [women screaming] 408 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,503 - I took one of the pizza boxes, tried beatin' it. 409 00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:34,852 - You beat it with a pizza box? 410 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:35,897 - That's when he finally let go. 411 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,072 [eerie music] 412 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,074 [boxes thudding] 413 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,423 [bird screeching] 414 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,251 When we drove off, I could see him standing there 415 00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,339 banging on his chest [creature growling] 416 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,036 and screaming like a wild man. 417 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,386 - Hey, did we tell you [tense music] 418 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,996 about the orange jumpsuit? 419 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:52,174 - [Lilly] Yeah, it was wearin' a big ol' orange jumpsuit. 420 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:55,221 [four-wheeler rumbling] 421 00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:58,049 [birds chirping] 422 00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:06,667 - Let's do it right here. 423 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,059 That's the one. 424 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,322 Thanks. 425 00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,236 Now stay right there. 426 00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,499 [grunting] 427 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,199 There we go. 428 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,069 Okay. 429 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:18,940 - [Cassie] Good? 430 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,159 - How's that, is that good? 431 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,291 - Yeah, yeah, it looks good. - All right. 432 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,162 [Cory grunts] 433 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,902 - Hey, whatcha doing? 434 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:29,168 [typewriter clacking] [eerie music] 435 00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:30,908 - We're setting up game cameras. 436 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,562 - You're not gonna shoot a poor little animal, are you? 437 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,651 - Oh [chuckles] no, no. 438 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:37,393 I'm Professor Cory Mathis from the university. 439 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:40,353 I'm Professor Cory Mathis with the university. 440 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:41,658 I'm researching. 441 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,531 - [WIG2] Is that your daughter? 442 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,533 - Cassie, no, no, that's, 443 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:49,188 no, that's not my daughter, no. 444 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:52,626 - Grandpa, can I have a word with you, like now? 445 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,237 - Just um, it's good to meet you. 446 00:19:57,892 --> 00:20:00,111 Seriously, kiddo, you're cramping my style, okay? 447 00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,852 Can't you see she's pretty cool? 448 00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,027 - Oh, yeah, she's cool all right. 449 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:04,768 What color are her eyes? 450 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,030 - Her eyes? 451 00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:07,336 - Can't you see what she's trying to do? 452 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,424 She's distracting you. 453 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:11,558 She's trying to dig for information. 454 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:15,692 She's probably some, like, government spy lady. 455 00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,477 - What? 456 00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:21,132 - Sure, she's out here all alone, not lost, 457 00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,308 hiking with a wardrobe malfunction. 458 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:24,310 Yeah, that's real easy to believe. 459 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,486 - It's not a wardrobe malfunction, okay? 460 00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:29,053 She's out here hiking, it's super hot, 461 00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:32,100 she bent down to unbutton and cool off a little bit. 462 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,014 - A bit? 463 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,189 If she loses another button 464 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,060 something is gonna start nesting in there. 465 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,148 Get rid of her. 466 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,149 Now! 467 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,368 [Corey sighs] 468 00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:42,153 - Sissy, I hate to ask you this and all 469 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:44,417 but I really need that sack. 470 00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,551 - You know I can't do that sack. I mean... 471 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:50,684 Billy would kill me. 472 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:52,294 That's his prize possession. 473 00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:53,556 - This is Sissy Teal, [typewriter clacking] 474 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:56,777 Gloria's aunt and Ranger Teal's sister. 475 00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:59,258 The sack they're talking about once belonged to a Sasquatch. 476 00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,347 - That's scientific evidence. 477 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,044 It deserves to be in a lab gettin' tested, 478 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:06,047 not sittin' on some weirdo's shelf. 479 00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:08,136 Now, it really means a lot to me, Sissy. 480 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,399 Please, I'll do anything. 481 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:11,618 - Anything? 482 00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:12,923 - [Fran] Anything, just name it. 483 00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:13,881 - Marry me? 484 00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:17,450 - Hold this. 485 00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,235 [Sissy grunting] 486 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:30,289 Now listen, as soon as you gimme that sack, 487 00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:33,292 I'll call Pastor Evans and I will marry you. 488 00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:34,597 - Yes, yes, yes. 489 00:21:35,598 --> 00:21:38,862 [laughing and screaming] 490 00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:43,345 [stream rustling] 491 00:22:03,017 --> 00:22:04,323 - In the dishwasher? 492 00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:06,020 That's gross. 493 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:08,283 - I am sure we gotta go this way. 494 00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,153 - You positive? 495 00:22:09,284 --> 00:22:10,111 - Yeah. - You're sure. 496 00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:11,547 - Yeah, positive. 497 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:13,332 - All right, let's go. 498 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,078 [insects chirping] 499 00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:21,818 - [Lexi] I think it might work. 500 00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:22,819 - [Gloria] Stop. 501 00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:23,777 - [Lexi] I mean it feels dangerous. 502 00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:24,430 - [Gloria] Everything you're thinking 503 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,996 and feeling right now, stop. 504 00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:26,780 - [Lexi] You know how they do that on TV 505 00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:27,694 when they light their farts? 506 00:22:27,824 --> 00:22:28,651 - [Gloria] No. 507 00:22:28,782 --> 00:22:29,348 - [Lexi] Do you think that works? 508 00:22:29,478 --> 00:22:30,436 - [Gloria] No. 509 00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:31,480 - I wanna try it. - No. 510 00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:32,438 - It's just gonna be, [tense music] 511 00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:32,829 it's just gonna be, it's gonna be cool. 512 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,222 - [Gloria] Lexi! 513 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:34,918 - [Lexi] Where's your scientific curiosity? 514 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,311 Come on. 515 00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:37,399 - [Gloria] There is no scientific curiosity. 516 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:38,139 I know what happens. - I'm gonna check it out. 517 00:22:38,269 --> 00:22:38,835 Check it out. - Now quit, Lexi. 518 00:22:38,966 --> 00:22:40,141 [Lexi screaming] 519 00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:41,403 - [Gloria] Please stop before you kill us. 520 00:22:41,534 --> 00:22:43,579 - [Lexi] No, it'll be fine, just see. 521 00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:44,406 - [Gloria] Knock it off. 522 00:22:44,537 --> 00:22:45,625 Don't do it again! 523 00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:46,930 - [Lexi] I feel a really big one coming. 524 00:22:47,061 --> 00:22:48,410 - Jesus, it stinks! 525 00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:49,193 [Gloria crying] [Lexi laughing] 526 00:22:49,324 --> 00:22:50,194 - [Lexi] One more time. 527 00:22:50,325 --> 00:22:51,326 - [Gloria] Lexi, don't do it again! 528 00:22:51,457 --> 00:22:52,066 [Gloria screaming] [flame whooshing] 529 00:22:52,196 --> 00:22:52,980 [Lexi laughing] 530 00:22:53,110 --> 00:22:53,981 [Gloria screaming] 531 00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,286 - [Lexi] Oh my God, get out! 532 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,810 Get out, get out, get out! 533 00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,028 Now! 534 00:22:58,159 --> 00:22:59,508 - [Gloria] Lexi! 535 00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:02,250 - [Lexi] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! 536 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,294 - [Gloria] What did I tell you? 537 00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:05,166 - I'm sorry! - What did I tell you! 538 00:23:05,296 --> 00:23:07,473 - I'm sorry! - You never listen! 539 00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:10,214 - [Lexi] Oh my God, I didn't know it was gonna do that! 540 00:23:10,345 --> 00:23:11,085 Let's see. 541 00:23:11,215 --> 00:23:11,912 - What did I say? 542 00:23:12,042 --> 00:23:13,566 What did I say? 543 00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:15,916 Just 'cause it's on TV doesn't mean it's always right! 544 00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:17,700 [insects chirping] 545 00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:18,571 The hell? 546 00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:21,225 [both laughing] 547 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:25,882 [stream trickling] 548 00:23:26,013 --> 00:23:28,494 [Lexi laughing] 549 00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:30,365 ♪ Ah 550 00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:33,586 - [Lexi] Are you sure these are the right coordinates? 551 00:23:33,716 --> 00:23:36,023 [typewriter clacking] 552 00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:37,807 ♪ Ah 553 00:23:39,983 --> 00:23:40,897 - Okay, yeah. 554 00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:42,769 Wow, yeah. 555 00:23:42,899 --> 00:23:44,074 Lexi, look! [tense music] 556 00:23:44,205 --> 00:23:44,988 Oh my God, look. 557 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,643 It's tracks, it's everywhere. 558 00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:48,644 [ominous music] 559 00:23:48,775 --> 00:23:51,168 - Some sort of Sasquatch patch. 560 00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:53,257 - [Spirit] Ah. 561 00:23:56,826 --> 00:24:01,178 ♪ Ah [bird whooshing] 562 00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:05,400 - I were you, I would hold off on making those casts. 563 00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:06,619 - [Gloria] Why? 564 00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:09,970 What is that? 565 00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:14,409 - That is what's been making all of your tracks! 566 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,063 We've been hoaxed! 567 00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:17,499 [Gloria chuckling] 568 00:24:17,630 --> 00:24:19,458 It's not funny, come on. 569 00:24:20,981 --> 00:24:23,070 - It's really good! 570 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:23,897 - [Lexi] Come on! 571 00:24:24,027 --> 00:24:25,246 - It looks real! 572 00:24:26,377 --> 00:24:28,902 [alarm blaring] 573 00:24:32,993 --> 00:24:34,734 - Kill that alarm. 574 00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:35,909 Gimme some room. 575 00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:37,171 - You heard the Professor, back on up. 576 00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:38,433 - What is that? 577 00:24:40,304 --> 00:24:42,089 - It moves like a skunk ape. 578 00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:43,830 - What's it carrying? 579 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,659 - Everybody knows Sasquatch use tools now, Professor. 580 00:24:46,789 --> 00:24:48,617 - It's a sledge hammer. 581 00:24:48,748 --> 00:24:49,488 - Oh, shit. 582 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,055 It's the ranger. 583 00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:56,190 - There's no monster, you assholes. 584 00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:02,544 [sighs] 585 00:25:02,675 --> 00:25:04,198 [grunts] [sledgehammer thudding] 586 00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:05,329 - Anybody want a martini? 587 00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:06,243 - [Lexi] Shit! 588 00:25:06,374 --> 00:25:11,161 ♪ Ah [phone ringing] 589 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:12,641 - Hello? [tense music] 590 00:25:12,772 --> 00:25:16,253 - Uh, hey, it's Gloria. [chanting music] 591 00:25:16,384 --> 00:25:18,647 I heard you were back in town. 592 00:25:21,476 --> 00:25:22,172 Are you there? 593 00:25:22,303 --> 00:25:23,086 ♪ Ah 594 00:25:23,217 --> 00:25:25,393 - How'd you know I was back? 595 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,569 - [Gloria] Look, I, can I come by and see you? 596 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:28,744 I have something I need to tell you. 597 00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:29,745 - What? 598 00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:30,703 Just tell me now. 599 00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:31,573 [chanting music] 600 00:25:31,704 --> 00:25:32,313 - How much is this again? 601 00:25:32,443 --> 00:25:33,183 - 37.50. 602 00:25:34,445 --> 00:25:36,883 Look I'll come by there around noon, okay? 603 00:25:37,013 --> 00:25:38,841 Listen, I'm really busy right now. 604 00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:40,408 I'm elbow deep in work. 605 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,149 Can we talk about this later? 606 00:25:42,279 --> 00:25:43,237 [hand slapping] 607 00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:45,152 Hold on and don't move. 608 00:25:45,282 --> 00:25:46,675 This is gonna hurt. 609 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:53,682 [Gloria grunting] [hair ripping] 610 00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:54,553 Oh my God! 611 00:25:56,467 --> 00:25:57,860 Look at this thing! 612 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,994 Do you see the face? 613 00:26:01,124 --> 00:26:03,649 Bigfoot would be jealous. [Bigfoot growling] 614 00:26:03,779 --> 00:26:07,130 [bird cawing] [birds chirping] 615 00:26:07,261 --> 00:26:09,829 [Gloria sighing] 616 00:26:15,704 --> 00:26:17,532 - I mean, what about George Shinehuff? 617 00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:18,968 I mean it coulda been him. 618 00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:22,015 - Uh, your father did a home DNA test a month ago. 619 00:26:22,145 --> 00:26:23,582 - [Casey] They have home DNA tests now? 620 00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:26,106 - Yeah, it's kinda like a pregnancy test. 621 00:26:26,236 --> 00:26:28,543 It's called Who's Your Daddy? 622 00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:29,544 You the daddy. 623 00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:30,719 [laughing] 624 00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:31,851 You the daddy. 625 00:26:33,243 --> 00:26:34,767 And if you have anything else to ask about it, 626 00:26:34,897 --> 00:26:35,985 why don't you go ahead and ask her yourself? 627 00:26:36,116 --> 00:26:39,423 She's been following your page for a month. 628 00:26:41,164 --> 00:26:44,080 - If you and Mommy hook up, I could be the Maid of Honor. 629 00:26:44,211 --> 00:26:46,126 - I mean, maybe. 630 00:26:46,256 --> 00:26:46,996 I guess. 631 00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:56,136 I hear you been creepin' on my page. 632 00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:57,833 - Yeah, we all do. 633 00:26:57,964 --> 00:26:59,443 You're funny, Daddy. 634 00:26:59,574 --> 00:27:03,056 But some of the stuff your friends say is kinda nasty. 635 00:27:03,186 --> 00:27:06,407 Oh, and sorry you broke up with your girlfriend. 636 00:27:06,537 --> 00:27:09,845 I really don't think she likes you anymore. 637 00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:12,805 [water trickling] [slow tense music] 638 00:27:12,935 --> 00:27:16,156 [message alerts ringing] 639 00:27:32,346 --> 00:27:35,349 But you don't look "limp as a noodle". 640 00:27:35,479 --> 00:27:37,394 Kind of in shape I guess. 641 00:27:38,613 --> 00:27:39,788 [Fran grunting] 642 00:27:39,919 --> 00:27:40,615 - Knock it off you two. - Quit strugglin'. 643 00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:41,485 - Lexi let him go. 644 00:27:41,616 --> 00:27:42,965 [Fran grunting] 645 00:27:43,096 --> 00:27:44,750 - You know your hair smells like Bigfoot's dick. 646 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,969 [Fran grunting] [birds chirping] 647 00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:48,449 - It's a damn lie. 648 00:27:49,493 --> 00:27:51,495 You're lucky I got manners 649 00:27:51,626 --> 00:27:54,368 otherwise I'd whoop the shit outta you right now. 650 00:27:54,498 --> 00:27:56,239 - With that tiny winky? 651 00:27:56,370 --> 00:27:57,632 I ain't scared. 652 00:27:57,763 --> 00:27:59,112 - Keep on talkin'. 653 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,245 ♪ Ah 654 00:28:02,376 --> 00:28:03,116 - Woo ooh. 655 00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:07,076 Woo ooh. 656 00:28:08,164 --> 00:28:09,296 - Shut up! ♪ Ah 657 00:28:09,426 --> 00:28:10,993 - You're gonna scare everything away. 658 00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:12,778 I swear to God, you are so dumb you would fall 659 00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:16,346 into a barrel of titties and come out sucking your thumb. 660 00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:17,130 - Hoo ooh! ♪ Ah 661 00:28:17,260 --> 00:28:18,871 - God! 662 00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:20,307 [Lexi whistles] [Fran grunting] 663 00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:21,308 That's what you get! 664 00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:24,180 - Come on, just stay focused. 665 00:28:24,311 --> 00:28:26,095 - Fuckin' swamp cracker. 666 00:28:29,229 --> 00:28:31,840 - Holy shit, that's a big foot. 667 00:28:31,971 --> 00:28:33,189 Let's start with this one. 668 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,410 - [Fran] It's the best one I've seen in a while. 669 00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:38,499 - [Lexi] Oh my God, they go all the way up the hill. 670 00:28:38,629 --> 00:28:40,283 - [Fran] Imagine that. 671 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,075 [lively country music] 672 00:28:49,205 --> 00:28:51,033 - One time, back in 1967 673 00:28:52,818 --> 00:28:54,689 a man named Patterson shot some film 674 00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:56,735 of a hairy beast. 675 00:28:56,865 --> 00:28:59,259 He fooled experts and scholars alike. 676 00:28:59,389 --> 00:29:01,391 But did he really fool anyone? 677 00:29:01,522 --> 00:29:04,525 And what about our hero, is he just telling a tale? 678 00:29:04,655 --> 00:29:07,789 There's more story that needs to be spun. 679 00:29:09,835 --> 00:29:12,968 [whistling] 680 00:29:13,099 --> 00:29:15,536 - Where in the hell she go? 681 00:29:15,666 --> 00:29:18,321 - [Cory] Lexi, Lexi, where are you? 682 00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:20,019 - Lexi! 683 00:29:21,194 --> 00:29:22,195 - [Cory] Lexi! 684 00:29:24,675 --> 00:29:25,938 - Hey there. 685 00:29:26,068 --> 00:29:26,765 - Oh. 686 00:29:29,506 --> 00:29:30,420 - [Cory] Hey, who the hell is that? 687 00:29:30,551 --> 00:29:33,380 - Was that you making all that noise? 688 00:29:34,424 --> 00:29:37,036 Why you grab your gun for? 689 00:29:37,166 --> 00:29:38,341 - I don't know. 690 00:29:38,472 --> 00:29:40,039 I just ain't too keen on people sneakin' up on me 691 00:29:40,169 --> 00:29:41,257 with a damn rifle. 692 00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:44,086 - That's mighty fine work right there, buddy. 693 00:29:44,217 --> 00:29:45,261 - Seen my assistant? 694 00:29:45,392 --> 00:29:46,436 Female, blonde hair. 695 00:29:46,567 --> 00:29:47,611 She's out here somewhere. 696 00:29:47,742 --> 00:29:48,787 She's got a camera in her hand. 697 00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:49,788 Runnin' around in the woods. - Hey y'all. 698 00:29:49,918 --> 00:29:52,051 I know every inch of this forest. 699 00:29:52,181 --> 00:29:54,923 I can help you find her if you want me to. 700 00:29:55,054 --> 00:29:56,490 - [Cory] Yeah, thanks. 701 00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:58,318 We would appreciate your help. 702 00:29:58,448 --> 00:29:59,580 - [Fran] What you doin' out here? 703 00:29:59,710 --> 00:30:00,668 - I'm a Bigfoot hunter. 704 00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:01,712 - [Fran] No shit! 705 00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:02,670 - No shit. 706 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:03,714 - [Fran] We doin' the same. 707 00:30:03,845 --> 00:30:04,585 Fran Andersen. 708 00:30:04,715 --> 00:30:06,326 - Rick Dyer. 709 00:30:06,456 --> 00:30:07,457 - [Fran] This here is Professor Cory Mathis out of Missouri. 710 00:30:07,588 --> 00:30:08,284 - Hey, how you doin'? 711 00:30:08,415 --> 00:30:09,155 I like that hat. 712 00:30:09,285 --> 00:30:11,026 - [Cory] Thanks. 713 00:30:11,157 --> 00:30:13,289 - [Fran] Well, so, you ever find anything out here? 714 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:14,421 - [Rick] All the time, man. 715 00:30:14,551 --> 00:30:15,639 That's why I stay out here. 716 00:30:15,770 --> 00:30:17,163 I been out here a long time. [tense music] 717 00:30:17,293 --> 00:30:18,642 Anyway, I love that beard. 718 00:30:18,773 --> 00:30:21,210 - [Fran] Oh, it's a cum catcher. 719 00:30:26,868 --> 00:30:27,869 - [Fran] Lexi! 720 00:30:29,218 --> 00:30:30,829 - [Rick] Lexi! 721 00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:31,612 - [Cory] Lexi! 722 00:30:31,742 --> 00:30:32,482 Lexi! 723 00:30:42,057 --> 00:30:44,843 - Fran, go up there and check the outhouse for Lexi. 724 00:30:44,973 --> 00:30:47,280 I'm gonna take the Professor in here to show him the radios. 725 00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:48,934 Maybe we can get in contact with a ranger. 726 00:30:49,064 --> 00:30:50,674 She can't be too far away. 727 00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:52,676 - Sounds good. 728 00:30:52,807 --> 00:30:54,809 - [Cory] Fran, hurry back. 729 00:30:59,335 --> 00:31:02,251 - [Rick] After you, Professor. 730 00:31:02,382 --> 00:31:04,340 - [Cory] You live in here? 731 00:31:07,953 --> 00:31:09,389 [fly buzzing] 732 00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:10,259 - Lexi. 733 00:31:12,044 --> 00:31:13,393 Lexi you in there? 734 00:31:14,785 --> 00:31:15,482 [door creaking] 735 00:31:15,612 --> 00:31:17,049 [loud thudding] 736 00:31:17,179 --> 00:31:19,616 [Fran gagging] 737 00:31:23,098 --> 00:31:23,838 Professor. 738 00:31:25,187 --> 00:31:25,884 Rick. 739 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,323 [loud knocking] 740 00:31:30,453 --> 00:31:31,193 Professor! 741 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,898 Professor, you in here? 742 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,134 I knew it! 743 00:31:59,265 --> 00:32:03,182 [dart gun firing] [Fran grunting] 744 00:32:03,312 --> 00:32:05,924 [drumming music] 745 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:08,927 - [Cory] Fran, shut the hell up. 746 00:32:09,057 --> 00:32:10,319 [comical music] 747 00:32:10,450 --> 00:32:12,452 - [Fran] Professor, that you? 748 00:32:12,582 --> 00:32:14,628 - [Cory] Who the hell you think it is, you dumb hillbilly? 749 00:32:14,758 --> 00:32:17,239 - [sighs] How in the hell we keep getting caught 750 00:32:17,370 --> 00:32:19,241 in these situations? 751 00:32:19,372 --> 00:32:21,156 - [Rick] Mornin' fellas. 752 00:32:22,418 --> 00:32:24,638 [Fran and Cory grunting] 753 00:32:24,768 --> 00:32:25,639 Here's what I need you to do. 754 00:32:25,769 --> 00:32:27,162 You're gonna take those duds off 755 00:32:27,293 --> 00:32:29,556 and glue this fur all over your body. 756 00:32:29,686 --> 00:32:32,124 - Serial hoaxer, Rick Dyer. [typewriter clacking] 757 00:32:32,254 --> 00:32:35,605 I should've let Fran shoot his ass back in the woods. 758 00:32:35,736 --> 00:32:37,694 - Now you don't need to use too much glue. 759 00:32:37,825 --> 00:32:40,175 That stuff works pretty good. [birds chirping] 760 00:32:40,306 --> 00:32:42,003 - We're not gonna glue this shit all over us. 761 00:32:42,134 --> 00:32:43,700 Have you lost your fuckin' mind? 762 00:32:43,831 --> 00:32:45,398 - How 'bout no! 763 00:32:45,528 --> 00:32:47,400 If you don't start gluin' in the next 10 seconds, 764 00:32:47,530 --> 00:32:49,489 I'm gonna have my way with her and blow 765 00:32:49,619 --> 00:32:52,492 her pretty little brains out. - Help me, Professor. 766 00:32:52,622 --> 00:32:54,798 - All right, all right. 767 00:32:54,929 --> 00:32:55,843 We'll do it. 768 00:32:57,062 --> 00:32:58,324 - Now start superin'. 769 00:32:58,454 --> 00:32:59,455 - [Lexi] Please. 770 00:32:59,586 --> 00:33:00,282 [Lexi groaning] 771 00:33:00,413 --> 00:33:01,675 - Do a good job. 772 00:33:01,805 --> 00:33:03,546 Cover it all nice and even. 773 00:33:03,677 --> 00:33:06,636 Think teddy bear, nice and cuddly. 774 00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:09,726 - He's got a fake-ass Bigfoot in that damn freezer. 775 00:33:09,857 --> 00:33:11,598 And trust me, he ain't got no plans 776 00:33:11,728 --> 00:33:15,210 on letting us tell anybody about nothin'. 777 00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:16,516 [gentle harp music] 778 00:33:16,646 --> 00:33:18,126 Pull them sacks off. 779 00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:24,089 - [Fran] Pastor Evans? 780 00:33:24,219 --> 00:33:25,829 - [Rick] Who the hell are you? 781 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:26,961 - You crazy bastard. 782 00:33:27,092 --> 00:33:28,615 You pissed your fur. 783 00:33:29,964 --> 00:33:31,444 - Get your ass outta here. 784 00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:32,314 Go, go! 785 00:33:34,577 --> 00:33:36,797 - [Pastor Evans] Beware of the border patrol. 786 00:33:36,927 --> 00:33:38,494 - Come on, get out! 787 00:33:38,625 --> 00:33:40,757 - [Cory] All right, godammit, I'm coming. 788 00:33:40,888 --> 00:33:43,282 - Get your ass over there, go on. 789 00:33:43,412 --> 00:33:46,807 - [Cory] Lexi, Fran, is that you? 790 00:33:46,937 --> 00:33:48,287 - No one's gonna believe we're real Sasquatch 791 00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:50,680 with this bullshit glued all over us. 792 00:33:50,811 --> 00:33:53,031 - You think I wanna kill you to have bodies to show? 793 00:33:53,161 --> 00:33:54,554 [laughing] 794 00:33:54,684 --> 00:33:56,512 That's messed up, man. 795 00:33:56,643 --> 00:33:58,775 We're broadcasting a Bigfoot snuff film. 796 00:33:58,906 --> 00:34:01,691 We have it live all over the planet. 797 00:34:01,822 --> 00:34:03,476 - Snuff film? 798 00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,086 I ain't doin' anything with that nasty cracker down there! 799 00:34:05,217 --> 00:34:06,479 He's probably got 800 00:34:06,609 --> 00:34:07,567 some kinda saber tooth crotch crickets goin' on. 801 00:34:07,697 --> 00:34:09,656 I see him scratchin' all the time! 802 00:34:09,786 --> 00:34:11,919 I'd rather do the cameraman. 803 00:34:13,442 --> 00:34:16,619 - Snuff films are about murder not sex, you dumb skank! 804 00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:17,838 - We're using our all new 805 00:34:17,968 --> 00:34:20,928 double NOT-76 video encryption system. 806 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,930 Ain't no one gonna be able to track us with this shit! 807 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:25,411 - We're gettin' 850 a pop! 808 00:34:25,541 --> 00:34:27,326 - Huh, it's at 238 right now. 809 00:34:27,456 --> 00:34:29,415 - 238, that's only $2,023. 810 00:34:31,025 --> 00:34:33,375 This fucking fur and glue probably cost that much. 811 00:34:33,506 --> 00:34:36,726 - A snuff film with this kinda production value? 812 00:34:36,857 --> 00:34:38,902 We're gonna make a killin' on DVD sales. 813 00:34:39,033 --> 00:34:40,643 Ain't that right, fat boy? 814 00:34:40,774 --> 00:34:41,427 - Damn, boy, we're gonna be rich! 815 00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:44,691 - [laughing] Yeah, ooh, woo! 816 00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:45,996 [gun firing] 817 00:34:46,127 --> 00:34:48,434 - I'll be gettin' payback on your ass, Dyer, 818 00:34:48,564 --> 00:34:49,870 I guarantee that. 819 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,698 - Whatever you say, Andersen. 820 00:34:51,828 --> 00:34:54,048 Now, get your ass going, dickweed! 821 00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:55,615 [gun firing] 822 00:34:55,745 --> 00:34:57,399 Y'all got 15 minutes 823 00:34:57,530 --> 00:34:59,401 then I'm comin' after ya. 824 00:35:00,837 --> 00:35:02,230 We're gonna be rich! 825 00:35:02,361 --> 00:35:05,929 - [Lexi] [crying] Hold up, I twisted my ankle. 826 00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:08,584 [Fran grunting] 827 00:35:10,412 --> 00:35:12,240 I thought they'd find us by now. 828 00:35:12,371 --> 00:35:14,590 - [Fran] Those two dumbasses couldn't find a safe space 829 00:35:14,721 --> 00:35:17,245 on campus at UC Berkeley. 830 00:35:17,376 --> 00:35:19,813 [Lexi panting] 831 00:35:24,383 --> 00:35:27,081 [birds chirping] 832 00:35:44,968 --> 00:35:48,015 [helicopter whirring] 833 00:35:51,845 --> 00:35:52,976 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 834 00:35:53,107 --> 00:35:53,803 You hear that? 835 00:35:53,934 --> 00:35:54,978 Come on, come on. 836 00:35:55,109 --> 00:35:56,154 - [Fran] Whoa! 837 00:36:01,420 --> 00:36:02,160 - Hey! 838 00:36:04,858 --> 00:36:06,599 - [Fran] Help, help us! 839 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,124 [rifle firing] 840 00:36:27,141 --> 00:36:30,362 [ominous drumming music] 841 00:36:42,025 --> 00:36:45,290 - [Billy] There's no monster, you assholes. 842 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:52,384 - Was you injuns that stole the land from the Sasquatch 843 00:36:52,514 --> 00:36:53,428 when you brought your asses 844 00:36:53,559 --> 00:36:56,562 over from Russia 10,000 years ago. 845 00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:59,434 You killed all of 'em off and you killed them mammoths 846 00:36:59,565 --> 00:37:01,306 and saber toothed tigers, too. 847 00:37:01,436 --> 00:37:03,090 And that's a fact. 848 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:04,483 - You're an idiot. 849 00:37:04,613 --> 00:37:08,487 - [sighs] Got them little bitty titties. 850 00:37:08,617 --> 00:37:10,053 - Yours is still little bitty. 851 00:37:10,184 --> 00:37:12,752 - I know somebody that likes my problem. 852 00:37:12,882 --> 00:37:16,538 I ain't gotta force it in or spit on it as much. 853 00:37:16,669 --> 00:37:18,018 - What, do you think you could just run around my town 854 00:37:18,148 --> 00:37:20,063 intoxicated and naked? 855 00:37:20,194 --> 00:37:22,283 We got decency laws around here. 856 00:37:22,414 --> 00:37:24,067 - Some freak in a green suit darted us 857 00:37:24,198 --> 00:37:25,721 and threw us in that dumpster. 858 00:37:25,852 --> 00:37:27,070 - I figured it was some type 859 00:37:27,201 --> 00:37:28,811 of clandestine government agency 860 00:37:28,942 --> 00:37:30,552 trying to cover this shit up. 861 00:37:30,683 --> 00:37:32,293 - Now, why would the government wanna cover up 862 00:37:32,424 --> 00:37:34,252 your dumpster orgy? 863 00:37:34,382 --> 00:37:36,079 - We talking about a damn Bigfoot. 864 00:37:36,210 --> 00:37:37,559 Those Men in Green make the creatures 865 00:37:37,690 --> 00:37:39,474 wear orange jumpsuits so people think 866 00:37:39,605 --> 00:37:43,522 they just hunters. [phone ringing] 867 00:37:50,224 --> 00:37:54,707 - Baby, baby, baby. [tense music] 868 00:37:54,837 --> 00:37:56,491 - [Billy] Where are you, you hairy freak? 869 00:37:56,622 --> 00:37:58,493 I can smell ya from here. 870 00:38:02,976 --> 00:38:04,543 - You lookin' for me? 871 00:38:09,112 --> 00:38:11,289 You sure got some purdy lips. 872 00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:15,423 - Okay, I'm gonna turn you in for the $10 million reward, 873 00:38:15,554 --> 00:38:16,468 how you like that, huh? 874 00:38:16,598 --> 00:38:19,035 [gun clicking] 875 00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:23,213 - You just as cute as a baby bunny. 876 00:38:23,344 --> 00:38:25,390 Now, let's you turn around, 877 00:38:28,088 --> 00:38:29,742 drop them draws, baby. 878 00:38:32,005 --> 00:38:34,224 I'll be gentle, just for you. 879 00:38:36,618 --> 00:38:39,317 Nah, I'm just messin' with ya. 880 00:38:39,447 --> 00:38:41,536 - What the fuck is... 881 00:38:41,667 --> 00:38:43,059 [electricity crackling] 882 00:38:43,190 --> 00:38:45,845 - Why ain't you been takin' my calls? 883 00:38:45,975 --> 00:38:46,889 I thought we may be able 884 00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:49,196 to get to know each other better. 885 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:50,850 Maybe go over to Stevie's Burgers, 886 00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:52,504 you know, hook up. 887 00:38:52,634 --> 00:38:53,766 [engine revving] 888 00:38:53,896 --> 00:38:55,811 [tires screeching] 889 00:38:55,942 --> 00:38:58,553 - I, Ranger Billy Teal, have been harassed 890 00:38:58,684 --> 00:39:00,294 on several occasions, 891 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,950 both mentally and sexually, in the workplace 892 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,779 by a monster in the woods. 893 00:39:06,909 --> 00:39:09,521 In my section of the forest, in the past few months, 894 00:39:09,651 --> 00:39:11,958 I have been stalked, terrorized, 895 00:39:12,088 --> 00:39:14,656 and humiliated without provocation. 896 00:39:14,787 --> 00:39:15,788 - Um, yeah. 897 00:39:15,918 --> 00:39:17,355 My big brother keeps getting beat up 898 00:39:17,485 --> 00:39:18,007 in the woods by something - Are you gonna 899 00:39:18,138 --> 00:39:18,965 help me or not? 900 00:39:19,095 --> 00:39:20,270 - that technically doesn't exist. 901 00:39:20,401 --> 00:39:21,968 You're a ranger. 902 00:39:22,098 --> 00:39:23,709 You can't go around talking about monsters in the forest. 903 00:39:23,839 --> 00:39:25,232 They're gonna fire you, bro. 904 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,102 - I have to do something. 905 00:39:26,233 --> 00:39:27,626 He can't get away with this. 906 00:39:27,756 --> 00:39:30,324 Look, I rarely ask you for anything. 907 00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:32,326 Just listen and tell me 908 00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:35,111 if it sounds official, okay? [tires screeching] 909 00:39:35,242 --> 00:39:36,243 - What do you want me to do? 910 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,376 - I want you to listen and tell me 911 00:39:38,506 --> 00:39:40,465 if it sounds official! 912 00:39:40,595 --> 00:39:42,380 [gun firing] 913 00:39:42,510 --> 00:39:43,337 - If you want me to help you, [woman screaming] 914 00:39:43,468 --> 00:39:45,165 you gotta tear up this piece of paper. 915 00:39:45,295 --> 00:39:46,819 - Okay fine. [alarm blaring] 916 00:39:46,949 --> 00:39:47,994 But if it happens again, I'm going straight to headquarters 917 00:39:48,124 --> 00:39:49,996 and I'm filing an official report. 918 00:39:50,126 --> 00:39:50,997 There he is. 919 00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:55,131 - Why can't we let the city guys take care of this? 920 00:39:55,262 --> 00:39:56,655 - We have to take care of it. 921 00:39:56,785 --> 00:39:57,569 Scoop him up! 922 00:39:57,699 --> 00:39:59,092 - No, that's a city raccoon. 923 00:39:59,222 --> 00:40:00,267 - It's a forest creature. 924 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:03,531 It's our responsibility to scoop him up. 925 00:40:03,662 --> 00:40:06,186 - I'm pretty sure that's a city raccoon. 926 00:40:06,316 --> 00:40:07,579 - Scoop him up. 927 00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:08,406 - [Bobby] All right. 928 00:40:08,536 --> 00:40:09,885 - Forest creature. 929 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:14,020 Andersen! 930 00:40:22,376 --> 00:40:24,378 [Fran whistling] 931 00:40:24,509 --> 00:40:25,248 Andersen! 932 00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:30,079 [Billy grunting] 933 00:40:31,472 --> 00:40:32,517 Stop! 934 00:40:32,647 --> 00:40:35,563 [Billy grunting] 935 00:40:35,694 --> 00:40:38,218 [siren blaring] 936 00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:45,660 [zipper zipping] 937 00:40:45,791 --> 00:40:47,140 - How the hell are you doing that, Andersen? 938 00:40:47,270 --> 00:40:48,358 - [Fran] I got a big bladder. 939 00:40:48,489 --> 00:40:50,143 I can go all day. 940 00:40:50,273 --> 00:40:51,405 You better stay back. 941 00:40:51,536 --> 00:40:53,189 - I'm more than just a ranger now, okay? 942 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:54,930 You don't even know who you're messin', 943 00:40:55,061 --> 00:40:56,149 fuck you, fuck. 944 00:40:57,585 --> 00:40:59,500 Oh, God, God, it stinks. 945 00:40:59,631 --> 00:41:01,284 What the fuck have you been eating? 946 00:41:01,415 --> 00:41:02,111 [Billy grunts] 947 00:41:02,242 --> 00:41:04,723 [Fran panting] 948 00:41:09,945 --> 00:41:10,729 - What the hell? 949 00:41:10,859 --> 00:41:11,947 I told you coffee and cream. 950 00:41:12,078 --> 00:41:14,341 - We don't need no coffee or cream, man. 951 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,169 We're both gettin' fat. 952 00:41:16,299 --> 00:41:17,953 Now, come on let's get the hell outta here. 953 00:41:18,084 --> 00:41:19,085 - That little bastard - Oh shit! 954 00:41:19,215 --> 00:41:20,216 - stole something from my room last night 955 00:41:20,347 --> 00:41:21,827 and I want it back. [Fran grunting] 956 00:41:21,957 --> 00:41:24,264 - Fran, if you took something of his, just give it. 957 00:41:24,394 --> 00:41:25,613 What were you doing at his house anyway? 958 00:41:25,744 --> 00:41:26,614 - His sister. 959 00:41:26,745 --> 00:41:27,789 - He's got my sack. 960 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:28,616 - [Cory] Sack? 961 00:41:28,747 --> 00:41:30,531 - My Bigfoot balls. 962 00:41:30,662 --> 00:41:31,576 - [Cory] You heard him right, 963 00:41:31,706 --> 00:41:32,838 Bigfoot balls. [typewriter clacking] 964 00:41:32,968 --> 00:41:34,840 When we were kids, Billy claimed that he cut the sack 965 00:41:34,970 --> 00:41:38,278 off of a dead Bigfoot and now Fran has them. 966 00:41:38,408 --> 00:41:39,845 - [Fran] Those are scientific evidence. 967 00:41:39,975 --> 00:41:41,629 They don't need to be sittin' on some freak's shelf. 968 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,631 They need to be in a lab gettin' analyzed. 969 00:41:43,762 --> 00:41:44,893 - Aw, come on, Billy. 970 00:41:45,024 --> 00:41:47,766 You still have the nut sack [voice echoing]? 971 00:41:47,896 --> 00:41:49,637 [gentle music] [birds chirping] 972 00:41:49,768 --> 00:41:53,685 - Yeah, it's right around here somewhere. 973 00:41:53,815 --> 00:41:57,036 - Man, Billy, what the hell's wrong with you? 974 00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:58,690 Why'd you take its balls? 975 00:41:58,820 --> 00:42:00,779 - I had to get some proof. 976 00:42:08,395 --> 00:42:11,790 - [chuckles] Dude, are those your underwear? 977 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,401 - Yeah, I had to hang them up so I could find my way back. 978 00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,838 - Those are girl's underwear. 979 00:42:16,969 --> 00:42:20,755 Wait, you wear your sister's underwear, don't you? 980 00:42:20,886 --> 00:42:21,887 [electricity crackling] 981 00:42:22,017 --> 00:42:24,498 - Girls' underwear is more comfortable. 982 00:42:24,629 --> 00:42:27,153 - All right, whatever, where the hell is it anyway? 983 00:42:27,283 --> 00:42:29,721 - I swear, it was right here. 984 00:42:29,851 --> 00:42:31,810 It was laying here dead as shit. 985 00:42:31,940 --> 00:42:34,682 I cut his balls off with this knife. 986 00:42:35,944 --> 00:42:37,163 Just like the one that attacked my mom 987 00:42:37,293 --> 00:42:38,860 when I was a kid [voice echoing]. 988 00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:40,427 [electricity crackling] 989 00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:45,214 [woman panting and groaning] [majestic choral music] 990 00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:53,309 - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ooh. [bed creaking] 991 00:42:54,267 --> 00:42:55,398 [door thudding] 992 00:42:55,529 --> 00:42:56,574 [Billy shouting] 993 00:42:56,704 --> 00:42:57,923 Billy, no, no. - No, Mommy, we gottta 994 00:42:58,053 --> 00:43:00,839 kill the monster. - No, Billy, no! 995 00:43:00,969 --> 00:43:02,884 [rifle firing] [rifle thudding] 996 00:43:03,015 --> 00:43:03,929 Are you okay? 997 00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:06,975 It's okay, Billy. 998 00:43:07,106 --> 00:43:08,629 I know you won't understand this right now, 999 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,284 but that was your father. 1000 00:43:11,414 --> 00:43:12,590 You're 1/4 Bigfoot, 1001 00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:15,027 Bigfoot, Bigfoot, Bigfoot. - Hey, dipshit, 1002 00:43:15,157 --> 00:43:17,377 what the hell's wrong with you? 1003 00:43:17,507 --> 00:43:18,770 Hey, what the hell's wrong with you, dipshit? 1004 00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:22,338 Dipshit! [electricity crackling] 1005 00:43:22,469 --> 00:43:23,426 Hey, dipshit! 1006 00:43:25,559 --> 00:43:28,344 Fran would you give him back his Bigfoot balls? 1007 00:43:28,475 --> 00:43:30,520 - They better both be in there. 1008 00:43:30,651 --> 00:43:32,087 - Oh, let me see. 1009 00:43:32,218 --> 00:43:34,046 [grunts] Oh, gross! 1010 00:43:34,176 --> 00:43:36,135 Touched my lips. 1011 00:43:36,265 --> 00:43:38,616 Here take this shit, you freak. 1012 00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:43,098 - And if I catch you around my sister again 1013 00:43:43,229 --> 00:43:44,143 you're gonna be sorry. 1014 00:43:44,273 --> 00:43:45,187 [lively country music] 1015 00:43:45,318 --> 00:43:48,364 - In 1924, a man was taken captive. 1016 00:43:48,495 --> 00:43:50,976 The creature carried him some 30 miles 1017 00:43:51,106 --> 00:43:52,934 before he was let go. 1018 00:43:53,065 --> 00:43:54,588 They did unspeakable things, 1019 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,285 too ugly to be told. 1020 00:43:56,416 --> 00:43:59,724 Maybe the same for our forest ranger Billy Teal? 1021 00:43:59,854 --> 00:44:01,856 And when there's none in the forest to hear, 1022 00:44:01,987 --> 00:44:05,294 do we keep it quiet or squirm and squeal? 1023 00:44:05,425 --> 00:44:07,645 [whistling] 1024 00:44:15,522 --> 00:44:16,566 - Yes, I'm here. 1025 00:44:16,697 --> 00:44:17,567 - [Bigfoot Jackson] Hello, my little doe. 1026 00:44:17,698 --> 00:44:18,656 How you been? 1027 00:44:20,092 --> 00:44:21,484 - Hey, who the hell is this? 1028 00:44:21,615 --> 00:44:24,270 This is a government phone line. 1029 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,663 - It's me, baby. 1030 00:44:26,794 --> 00:44:28,143 Your friend from the forest below. 1031 00:44:28,274 --> 00:44:29,318 I heard you been talking about me 1032 00:44:29,449 --> 00:44:31,669 even though you promised you wouldn't. 1033 00:44:31,799 --> 00:44:34,933 Got me feeling all hurt and betrayed inside. 1034 00:44:35,063 --> 00:44:38,197 I thought I could trust you with our little secret. 1035 00:44:38,327 --> 00:44:39,372 - I didn't tell anyone. 1036 00:44:39,502 --> 00:44:40,678 - Don't go lyin'. 1037 00:44:40,808 --> 00:44:42,462 I know right where you live. 1038 00:44:42,592 --> 00:44:45,421 You don't wannna get on my ugly side. 1039 00:44:46,596 --> 00:44:48,250 - Ranger Teal here. 1040 00:44:48,381 --> 00:44:49,643 I'm trapped in a tree. 1041 00:44:49,774 --> 00:44:51,036 My rifle's out of reach and my sidearm's 1042 00:44:51,166 --> 00:44:52,080 in the truck. [rifle clacking] 1043 00:44:52,211 --> 00:44:53,342 I need help here. 1044 00:44:53,473 --> 00:44:54,517 - You want your rifle? 1045 00:44:54,648 --> 00:44:55,780 - I'm gonna turn you in for that reward. 1046 00:44:55,910 --> 00:44:56,781 - They're not gonna believe you. 1047 00:44:56,911 --> 00:44:57,782 - Tell the commander I need help. 1048 00:44:57,912 --> 00:44:58,696 - And I'm just gonna come after you. 1049 00:44:58,826 --> 00:44:59,871 - Ranger Teal. 1050 00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:01,133 - Let's talk about how you gonna keep 1051 00:45:01,263 --> 00:45:02,569 all these people - Billy Teal. 1052 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:04,310 - outta my side of the forest. 1053 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:05,137 - What is it with you people? 1054 00:45:05,267 --> 00:45:06,225 I've told you a thousand times. 1055 00:45:06,355 --> 00:45:07,748 You know who I am. 1056 00:45:07,879 --> 00:45:08,706 - As soon as that thing 1057 00:45:08,836 --> 00:45:10,969 caught my scent. [tense music] 1058 00:45:11,099 --> 00:45:13,101 His thing stuck out from under his fur full sail. 1059 00:45:13,232 --> 00:45:14,581 [typewriter clacking] - She always has this problem 1060 00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:15,930 with the males. 1061 00:45:16,061 --> 00:45:18,367 You know she has the oversized lady mounds 1062 00:45:18,498 --> 00:45:19,412 or the EECT. 1063 00:45:21,153 --> 00:45:24,243 You know, extremely enlarged camel toe. 1064 00:45:24,373 --> 00:45:25,592 - We think this has something to do 1065 00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:28,029 with all this male attraction. 1066 00:45:29,814 --> 00:45:32,773 I mean, it transmits some sorta sex signal 1067 00:45:32,904 --> 00:45:34,122 [electricity crackling] 1068 00:45:34,253 --> 00:45:36,777 all these male creatures just find irresistible. 1069 00:45:36,908 --> 00:45:38,823 I mean, we can't hardly go anywhere. 1070 00:45:38,953 --> 00:45:42,217 When we go to the park and there's dogs following her around 1071 00:45:42,348 --> 00:45:44,742 trying to hump her leg and I'll see women 1072 00:45:44,872 --> 00:45:47,135 shielding their children's eyes, 1073 00:45:47,266 --> 00:45:51,226 and a homeless guy tried to grab at it one day. 1074 00:45:51,357 --> 00:45:53,141 Here's another true story. 1075 00:45:53,272 --> 00:45:54,752 We were out at that park that day 1076 00:45:54,882 --> 00:45:58,190 and we had our blanket all out, havin' a nice picnic, 1077 00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,367 eatin' our chicken, everything's going just fine. 1078 00:46:01,497 --> 00:46:04,979 And outta nowhere comes this tailless squirrel 1079 00:46:05,110 --> 00:46:08,461 and just runs right up and just starts humpin' it. 1080 00:46:08,591 --> 00:46:10,550 I didn't know what to do! 1081 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,160 - I couldn't do anything about it. 1082 00:46:12,291 --> 00:46:13,988 I mean, it was, it was just there, and it was goin' at it. 1083 00:46:14,119 --> 00:46:16,904 And it, I couldn't, there was nothing for me to grab onto. 1084 00:46:17,035 --> 00:46:18,427 It had no tail! 1085 00:46:18,558 --> 00:46:20,212 I, I couldn't even fling it off of me. 1086 00:46:20,342 --> 00:46:22,518 I just, it kept trying to bite me 1087 00:46:22,649 --> 00:46:23,693 every time I tried to grab it 1088 00:46:23,824 --> 00:46:25,260 and I, I just had to wait until it was done. 1089 00:46:25,391 --> 00:46:28,742 I mean [grunts] that was my favorite pair of jeans, 1090 00:46:28,873 --> 00:46:30,004 I had to throw them away. 1091 00:46:30,135 --> 00:46:30,831 I mean, I, they were ruined. 1092 00:46:30,962 --> 00:46:32,920 - [Gloria] I'm gonna fall. 1093 00:46:36,054 --> 00:46:38,404 - [Lexi] Wow, you really are strong for a banana. 1094 00:46:38,534 --> 00:46:39,318 - [James] Just walk! 1095 00:46:39,448 --> 00:46:40,841 - Ow! 1096 00:46:40,972 --> 00:46:42,538 - [Lexi] You wanna come and help us or something? 1097 00:46:42,669 --> 00:46:43,322 - No. - Gods sakes, somebody's 1098 00:46:43,452 --> 00:46:44,453 gotta show you dumbasses 1099 00:46:44,584 --> 00:46:46,325 how to put it together. 1100 00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:48,893 - Fran's mom is so hairy, 1101 00:46:49,023 --> 00:46:50,633 he almost died of rug burns at birth. 1102 00:46:50,764 --> 00:46:52,766 [all laughing] 1103 00:46:52,897 --> 00:46:54,202 - Don't mind Fran. [eerie music] 1104 00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:57,205 He's just mad 'cause his mama's so hairy 1105 00:46:57,336 --> 00:46:58,293 her titties look like coconuts. 1106 00:46:58,424 --> 00:47:00,469 [all laughing] 1107 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,211 - Fran's mama is so hairy that Bigfoot went down on her, 1108 00:47:03,342 --> 00:47:03,995 had to be cut out! 1109 00:47:04,125 --> 00:47:05,300 [women laughing] 1110 00:47:05,431 --> 00:47:06,824 - You need more C4. 1111 00:47:07,999 --> 00:47:09,783 Hell'd you learn to make a bomb at? 1112 00:47:09,914 --> 00:47:11,002 A drive-thru in Libya? 1113 00:47:11,132 --> 00:47:13,004 - Are they gonna blow us all up? 1114 00:47:13,134 --> 00:47:15,267 - Oh, I'm sorry, darlin', I didn't mean to offend. 1115 00:47:15,397 --> 00:47:16,485 - Keep touchin' me, keep touchin' me I'm gonna detonate 1116 00:47:16,616 --> 00:47:17,835 the sumbitch right now. 1117 00:47:17,965 --> 00:47:19,140 - Oh, all right. 1118 00:47:19,271 --> 00:47:19,880 - You see these? - Do what you fuckin' want. 1119 00:47:20,011 --> 00:47:21,795 - Those are motion detectors. 1120 00:47:21,926 --> 00:47:23,666 Now, when it comes into the capture zone, 1121 00:47:23,797 --> 00:47:24,667 it's gonna trigger the charges 1122 00:47:24,798 --> 00:47:25,886 that makes the cage drop down. 1123 00:47:26,017 --> 00:47:28,236 - [Casey] Like the ACME Cage Company? 1124 00:47:28,367 --> 00:47:30,760 - Now, when that happens, it's going to immobilize the beast 1125 00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:32,937 by throwing its tasers out. 1126 00:47:34,677 --> 00:47:35,765 - What the hell is that? 1127 00:47:35,896 --> 00:47:37,028 - This right here? 1128 00:47:37,158 --> 00:47:40,379 This is dirty gym socks, bloody menstruation, 1129 00:47:40,509 --> 00:47:42,729 and the sweat of a woman. 1130 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:45,079 Sasquatch finds it uber sexy. 1131 00:47:46,385 --> 00:47:47,560 Hell, we get it all from Gloria. 1132 00:47:47,690 --> 00:47:50,215 [tongue clicking] 1133 00:47:50,345 --> 00:47:51,825 [light tapping] 1134 00:47:51,956 --> 00:47:53,087 [explosives firing] 1135 00:47:53,218 --> 00:47:56,134 - [Casey] [grunts] Oh, ow, godammit! 1136 00:47:56,264 --> 00:47:58,832 [all laughing] 1137 00:47:58,963 --> 00:47:59,920 Crazy bastards. 1138 00:48:00,051 --> 00:48:01,530 Get this shit outta me! - Hey guys, 1139 00:48:01,661 --> 00:48:02,357 it's not funny. 1140 00:48:02,488 --> 00:48:03,445 - [Fran] What? 1141 00:48:03,576 --> 00:48:04,577 - You know those are barbed tips. 1142 00:48:04,707 --> 00:48:05,970 - [Casey] [grunting] Oh fuck! 1143 00:48:06,100 --> 00:48:07,406 - I'm gonna have to cut 'em out. 1144 00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:09,234 - Hey, can we get just a little more focus here guys? 1145 00:48:09,364 --> 00:48:11,236 - She's right, skankasaurus. 1146 00:48:11,366 --> 00:48:13,542 I told you not be bringing these damn retards around here. 1147 00:48:13,673 --> 00:48:15,805 Somebody was gonna get hurt! 1148 00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:18,286 - You have personal space issues. 1149 00:48:18,417 --> 00:48:20,593 - Okay, knock it off. 1150 00:48:20,723 --> 00:48:21,899 - Get you some of that bitch! Can we please 1151 00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:23,639 get the barbs out of Casey's leg? 1152 00:48:23,770 --> 00:48:24,510 [Casey grunting] 1153 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:25,380 Maybe? - All right. 1154 00:48:25,511 --> 00:48:26,338 - [Fran] I want to do this. 1155 00:48:26,468 --> 00:48:28,079 - [Lexi] This is gonna hurt. 1156 00:48:28,209 --> 00:48:29,123 You want something to bite on? 1157 00:48:29,254 --> 00:48:30,690 - [Casey] Are you insane? 1158 00:48:30,820 --> 00:48:31,560 You're insane! 1159 00:48:31,691 --> 00:48:32,474 You're crazy! 1160 00:48:32,605 --> 00:48:34,563 Everybody's fucking crazy! 1161 00:48:35,651 --> 00:48:38,263 [Casey grunting] 1162 00:48:40,656 --> 00:48:41,570 - Go ahead. 1163 00:48:41,701 --> 00:48:43,050 - [Cassie] Check, Grandpa. 1164 00:48:43,181 --> 00:48:44,095 - Not this time, kiddo. 1165 00:48:44,225 --> 00:48:45,444 No way. 1166 00:48:45,574 --> 00:48:49,100 Casey get me a martini, nice and dry, no olives. 1167 00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:52,277 Actually, hold the vermouth, too. 1168 00:48:52,407 --> 00:48:53,104 - I'll get it. 1169 00:48:53,234 --> 00:48:54,540 - [Cory] Go. 1170 00:48:54,670 --> 00:48:57,108 [ice rattling] 1171 00:49:02,287 --> 00:49:03,984 - I like it here. 1172 00:49:04,115 --> 00:49:05,116 I wanna live here. 1173 00:49:05,246 --> 00:49:06,682 I wanna raise my babies here. 1174 00:49:06,813 --> 00:49:07,857 - Why didn't you tell me about the kid? 1175 00:49:07,988 --> 00:49:08,858 - The kid? 1176 00:49:08,989 --> 00:49:10,469 Your daughter? 1177 00:49:10,599 --> 00:49:12,601 Her name's Cassie. 1178 00:49:12,732 --> 00:49:14,473 And I don't know, I was 19. 1179 00:49:14,603 --> 00:49:15,561 You wanna know the truth? 1180 00:49:15,691 --> 00:49:17,998 I didn't know if she was yours. 1181 00:49:18,129 --> 00:49:20,958 But your father knew as soon as he looked at her. 1182 00:49:21,088 --> 00:49:22,960 And I wanted to tell him, 1183 00:49:23,090 --> 00:49:25,614 and I wanted to tell your mom, 1184 00:49:25,745 --> 00:49:27,094 but I was scared, and I didn't wanna ruin 1185 00:49:27,225 --> 00:49:28,617 your precious life. 1186 00:49:30,619 --> 00:49:32,012 You fucking happy? 1187 00:49:32,143 --> 00:49:35,102 - Maybe you need to give me another chance? 1188 00:49:35,233 --> 00:49:38,062 [crickets chirping] 1189 00:49:41,195 --> 00:49:43,632 [ice clinking] 1190 00:49:52,337 --> 00:49:56,689 ♪ Bought me a blue boutonniere 1191 00:49:56,819 --> 00:50:01,607 ♪ Wore a pretty pink gown 1192 00:50:02,695 --> 00:50:05,785 ♪ And you promised me pearls 1193 00:50:05,915 --> 00:50:10,703 ♪ Match my prom queen crown 1194 00:50:12,226 --> 00:50:13,749 ♪ You're a real big man 1195 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,057 ♪ In your mama's minivan 1196 00:50:17,188 --> 00:50:21,148 ♪ Slipped off my shoes 1197 00:50:21,279 --> 00:50:23,020 ♪ Ruined my dress 1198 00:50:23,150 --> 00:50:25,457 ♪ Excited I guess 1199 00:50:25,587 --> 00:50:27,154 ♪ Still can hold your booze 1200 00:50:27,285 --> 00:50:27,981 Hey! 1201 00:50:28,112 --> 00:50:28,895 Do you mind? 1202 00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:30,505 I am trying to sing a song here! 1203 00:50:30,636 --> 00:50:34,727 ♪ 10 years, you still can't get it right ♪ 1204 00:50:34,857 --> 00:50:38,818 ♪ We ain't makin' love, we fight ♪ 1205 00:50:38,948 --> 00:50:43,649 ♪ So, don't you get the wrong idea about us ♪ 1206 00:50:43,779 --> 00:50:46,434 ♪ Don't you get the wrong idea 1207 00:50:46,565 --> 00:50:50,873 ♪ 'Bout what's going on here 1208 00:50:51,004 --> 00:50:55,748 ♪ Just because we're doing this ♪ 1209 00:50:57,141 --> 00:50:58,925 ♪ Doesn't not make you 1210 00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:02,581 ♪ An asshole or make me care 1211 00:51:05,497 --> 00:51:08,065 - [Casey] Gloria, what the hell are you doing? 1212 00:51:08,195 --> 00:51:10,067 What time is it? 1213 00:51:10,197 --> 00:51:11,198 - You said you wanted a chance. 1214 00:51:11,329 --> 00:51:12,504 [gentle music] 1215 00:51:12,634 --> 00:51:16,247 ♪ Doesn't not make you an asshole ♪ 1216 00:51:16,377 --> 00:51:19,728 ♪ Or make me care 1217 00:51:19,859 --> 00:51:21,078 [slap thudding] 1218 00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:21,556 - That's for making me fall in love with you 1219 00:51:21,687 --> 00:51:23,558 in the first place. 1220 00:51:23,689 --> 00:51:24,864 [slap thudding] 1221 00:51:24,994 --> 00:51:26,257 And that's for running off and not coming back. 1222 00:51:26,387 --> 00:51:27,562 [slap thudding] 1223 00:51:27,693 --> 00:51:28,694 That is for leaving right after the funeral 1224 00:51:28,824 --> 00:51:29,651 when your father-- - I swear to God, 1225 00:51:29,782 --> 00:51:32,741 if you slap me one-- [punch thudding] 1226 00:51:32,872 --> 00:51:35,527 Okay, so what is all this? 1227 00:51:35,657 --> 00:51:38,921 Is this you giving me a chance now? 1228 00:51:39,052 --> 00:51:41,881 - Well, you want some of this or not? 1229 00:51:44,231 --> 00:51:49,193 ♪ At night passing first the fool ♪ 1230 00:51:49,323 --> 00:51:53,849 ♪ You ain't even hear that beat ♪ 1231 00:51:53,980 --> 00:51:56,200 - [Cory] While Gloria and Casey were getting reacquainted, 1232 00:51:56,330 --> 00:52:00,856 Fran and I slipped off to a Florida swamp for an interview. 1233 00:52:10,388 --> 00:52:11,128 - Woo ooh! 1234 00:52:13,478 --> 00:52:14,174 Woo ooh! 1235 00:52:17,003 --> 00:52:19,527 [magical music] 1236 00:52:22,922 --> 00:52:24,837 Man, I remember that waterfall right there. 1237 00:52:24,967 --> 00:52:26,099 We gettin' close. 1238 00:52:26,230 --> 00:52:29,755 - The same waterfall we passed two hours ago. 1239 00:52:29,885 --> 00:52:31,452 - No, Professor, it's a different waterfall, 1240 00:52:31,583 --> 00:52:32,540 I promise you. 1241 00:52:32,671 --> 00:52:34,542 - No, that's the same waterfall, Fran. 1242 00:52:34,673 --> 00:52:35,543 - I'm telling you I know 1243 00:52:35,674 --> 00:52:36,370 what I'm talking about. - Look. 1244 00:52:36,501 --> 00:52:37,154 Why don't you ever-- 1245 00:52:37,284 --> 00:52:38,024 - Look. 1246 00:52:40,853 --> 00:52:42,855 Doesn't that belong to you? 1247 00:52:42,985 --> 00:52:45,074 - I guess it does. 1248 00:52:45,205 --> 00:52:45,988 Dammit. 1249 00:52:46,119 --> 00:52:48,643 - Why couldn't you bury it? 1250 00:52:48,774 --> 00:52:50,645 - [Fran] Hey, Professor, if that old witch catches us 1251 00:52:50,776 --> 00:52:53,039 trying to ambush one of her swamp apes, 1252 00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:55,172 she gonna put the whammy on us. 1253 00:52:55,302 --> 00:52:56,129 [rifle clacking 1254 00:52:56,260 --> 00:52:57,174 - Get them hands 1255 00:52:57,304 --> 00:52:58,827 up in the air. [typewriter clacking] 1256 00:52:58,958 --> 00:53:01,265 Drop them packs and rifles. [insects chirping] 1257 00:53:01,395 --> 00:53:03,789 Francois Andersen, is that you, boy? 1258 00:53:03,919 --> 00:53:05,312 - Hey now listen-- 1259 00:53:05,443 --> 00:53:07,880 - I told you not to be coming back here, boy. 1260 00:53:08,010 --> 00:53:10,578 - This here is Professor Cory Mathis out of Missouri. 1261 00:53:10,709 --> 00:53:12,363 He's a Sasquatch researcher 1262 00:53:12,493 --> 00:53:13,886 and he's just got a few questions for you. 1263 00:53:14,016 --> 00:53:14,669 That is all. - I oughta shoot 1264 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,280 your ass right now. 1265 00:53:16,410 --> 00:53:19,283 - We don't want any trouble at all. 1266 00:53:19,413 --> 00:53:21,676 Now, I am a real Sasquatch researcher. 1267 00:53:21,807 --> 00:53:24,070 I know you call them skunk ape down here. 1268 00:53:24,201 --> 00:53:26,899 All I really wanna do is come inside and meet you, 1269 00:53:27,029 --> 00:53:28,944 talk about your pets, that's all. 1270 00:53:29,075 --> 00:53:30,511 - All right then. 1271 00:53:30,642 --> 00:53:31,730 You come on in. 1272 00:53:33,819 --> 00:53:36,343 But don't you do anything stupid. 1273 00:53:36,474 --> 00:53:38,519 - [Fran] How's that for southern hospitality? 1274 00:53:38,650 --> 00:53:39,825 - I think something died up inside you. 1275 00:53:39,955 --> 00:53:40,695 [all laughing] 1276 00:53:40,826 --> 00:53:42,219 - Lactose. 1277 00:53:42,349 --> 00:53:44,090 - [Cory] Oh man. 1278 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,527 - Hey, can I ask you a question? 1279 00:53:46,658 --> 00:53:50,139 Why not go after the 10 million bucks bounty? 1280 00:53:51,445 --> 00:53:52,446 You could stay out here forever, 1281 00:53:52,577 --> 00:53:55,188 fix this place up and buy a ton of grapes. 1282 00:53:55,319 --> 00:53:56,972 - Is that why you're here? 1283 00:53:57,103 --> 00:53:58,931 - No, ma'am, that's not why I'm here. 1284 00:53:59,061 --> 00:54:00,759 All I really wanna do is expose the truth. 1285 00:54:00,889 --> 00:54:02,456 - That's why he's here. 1286 00:54:02,587 --> 00:54:03,979 - Oh, come on now. 1287 00:54:04,110 --> 00:54:05,067 I thought we was past all that. 1288 00:54:05,198 --> 00:54:06,504 - Dude, dude, come on. 1289 00:54:06,634 --> 00:54:08,201 Ma'am, no I don't, I don't need the money. 1290 00:54:08,332 --> 00:54:11,291 I'm, I just wanna show the truth. 1291 00:54:11,422 --> 00:54:13,946 - [Witch] You just enjoy this tea and eat your chicken. 1292 00:54:14,076 --> 00:54:14,903 - [Cory] Thank you. 1293 00:54:15,034 --> 00:54:16,905 - My babies will be around shortly. 1294 00:54:17,036 --> 00:54:17,819 - Here's to Sasquatch. 1295 00:54:17,950 --> 00:54:18,820 - Yes, sir. [jars clinking] 1296 00:54:18,951 --> 00:54:21,388 [all laughing] 1297 00:54:29,614 --> 00:54:31,268 Man, this tea is good! 1298 00:54:35,054 --> 00:54:38,057 [lively fiddle music] 1299 00:55:10,742 --> 00:55:12,744 [cup clattering] 1300 00:55:12,874 --> 00:55:14,746 - Shh. - What do you want? 1301 00:55:19,707 --> 00:55:22,841 [eerie music] 1302 00:55:22,971 --> 00:55:23,668 [wood clattering] 1303 00:55:23,798 --> 00:55:26,410 [Fran screaming] 1304 00:55:33,460 --> 00:55:35,723 It's got my arm again! 1305 00:55:35,854 --> 00:55:37,159 - [Cory] Come on. [Fran screaming] 1306 00:55:37,290 --> 00:55:38,422 Come on, Fran! 1307 00:55:38,552 --> 00:55:39,292 Fran! 1308 00:55:41,381 --> 00:55:43,340 The creature almost tore Fran's arm off again 1309 00:55:43,470 --> 00:55:44,819 and we lost all our supplies. 1310 00:55:44,950 --> 00:55:45,951 - Come out when 1311 00:55:46,081 --> 00:55:46,647 they wanna time. - It was time to limp back 1312 00:55:46,778 --> 00:55:47,474 the the Ozarks. 1313 00:55:47,605 --> 00:55:48,301 - Real nice lady. 1314 00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:49,476 Her husband was 1315 00:55:49,607 --> 00:55:51,522 [electricity buzzing] a double agent. 1316 00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:53,393 He worked for the CIA 1317 00:55:53,524 --> 00:55:56,396 but he was really working for the KGB. 1318 00:55:58,398 --> 00:55:59,007 - They're here, they're here! 1319 00:55:59,138 --> 00:55:59,878 Come on! 1320 00:56:01,662 --> 00:56:02,663 Grandpa. 1321 00:56:02,794 --> 00:56:04,186 Something's in the trap, we saw it. 1322 00:56:04,317 --> 00:56:05,492 - Oh yeah? 1323 00:56:05,623 --> 00:56:07,059 - You sure it wasn't a bear? 1324 00:56:07,189 --> 00:56:09,540 - [Cassie] It's in the trap! 1325 00:56:09,670 --> 00:56:11,150 - I'm bushed. 1326 00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,370 - Dad and I both saw it before we lost the video feed. 1327 00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:16,590 It's bipedal but definitely not a bear. 1328 00:56:16,721 --> 00:56:17,330 - [Cory] You didn't see it did you? 1329 00:56:17,461 --> 00:56:18,505 - Yeah, I saw it! 1330 00:56:18,636 --> 00:56:20,072 And I can't believe it. 1331 00:56:20,202 --> 00:56:21,203 It's in there and it's trapped 1332 00:56:21,334 --> 00:56:23,162 and it's getting shocked. - Okay. 1333 00:56:23,292 --> 00:56:25,860 Fran, I need you to organize the crew. 1334 00:56:25,991 --> 00:56:27,253 Get the entrapment equipment together. 1335 00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:29,473 Cassie, call your mom. 1336 00:56:29,603 --> 00:56:31,866 Tell her to prepare the containment unit. 1337 00:56:31,997 --> 00:56:32,737 Let's go. 1338 00:56:34,478 --> 00:56:37,698 You guys have no idea what you're going to face. 1339 00:56:37,829 --> 00:56:39,221 This thing has been trapped and getting shocked 1340 00:56:39,352 --> 00:56:41,223 for the last 20 hours. 1341 00:56:41,354 --> 00:56:43,922 It's gonna be pissed. 1342 00:56:44,052 --> 00:56:47,360 If it's anything like what Fran and I just encountered, 1343 00:56:47,491 --> 00:56:48,840 we have to be careful. [insects buzzing and chirping] 1344 00:56:48,970 --> 00:56:51,843 I'm here to capture it, not kill it. 1345 00:56:51,973 --> 00:56:52,931 What are you guys standing around for? 1346 00:56:53,061 --> 00:56:54,019 Let's go! 1347 00:56:54,149 --> 00:56:56,587 [tense music] 1348 00:57:01,722 --> 00:57:02,636 - Cory. 1349 00:57:02,767 --> 00:57:03,332 [eerie music] [electricity buzzing] 1350 00:57:03,463 --> 00:57:05,900 [Billy grunting] 1351 00:57:06,031 --> 00:57:09,077 - Uncle Billy, hold still so we can get you disconnected. 1352 00:57:09,208 --> 00:57:11,776 - Stop calling me Uncle Billy, godammit. 1353 00:57:11,906 --> 00:57:13,865 No family of mine is stupid enough to hang out 1354 00:57:13,995 --> 00:57:16,911 with a bunch of quacks and hoaxers. 1355 00:57:17,042 --> 00:57:19,044 - Billy Teal, what the hell you doin' in my cage? 1356 00:57:19,174 --> 00:57:20,480 [ominous music] 1357 00:57:20,611 --> 00:57:23,048 [electricity crackling] 1358 00:57:23,178 --> 00:57:23,962 [gun firing] 1359 00:57:24,092 --> 00:57:26,965 [ammunition popping] 1360 00:57:31,535 --> 00:57:32,666 [cage creaking] 1361 00:57:32,797 --> 00:57:34,799 [ammunition firing] 1362 00:57:34,929 --> 00:57:35,582 [electricity buzzing] 1363 00:57:35,713 --> 00:57:38,411 [Billy screaming] 1364 00:57:42,023 --> 00:57:45,244 - No one is going anywhere except jail. 1365 00:57:45,374 --> 00:57:46,854 I'm throwing all the books at you. 1366 00:57:46,985 --> 00:57:48,508 Like taking 'em all off the shelves. 1367 00:57:48,639 --> 00:57:50,075 Every single book at the library 1368 00:57:50,205 --> 00:57:53,295 and I'm just chucking 'em right at ya! 1369 00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:57,212 - Well, we're all gonna need prison names. 1370 00:57:57,343 --> 00:57:58,866 - We can call Fran Tossed Salad. 1371 00:57:58,997 --> 00:58:00,389 [Lexi giggling] 1372 00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,479 - We can use the prison bitch name generator online. 1373 00:58:02,609 --> 00:58:03,131 [Gloria laughing] [electricity buzzing] 1374 00:58:03,262 --> 00:58:04,481 [Billy groaning] 1375 00:58:04,611 --> 00:58:06,178 - I'm gonna kill you. 1376 00:58:06,308 --> 00:58:09,747 - Will you hold still so I can frame this up? 1377 00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,488 - Wait a minute. 1378 00:58:11,618 --> 00:58:12,576 [Billy groaning] 1379 00:58:12,706 --> 00:58:13,881 Looks like we got us another one. 1380 00:58:14,012 --> 00:58:14,621 - How the hell'd [electricity buzzing] 1381 00:58:14,752 --> 00:58:16,536 you get in there anyway? 1382 00:58:18,190 --> 00:58:19,800 - I think he peed on me. 1383 00:58:19,931 --> 00:58:20,497 [Pastor Evans groaning] [electricity buzzing] 1384 00:58:20,627 --> 00:58:22,020 - Take it off and take-- 1385 00:58:22,150 --> 00:58:23,804 - Billy, hold still and we'll get you disconnected. 1386 00:58:23,935 --> 00:58:26,938 - [Pastor Evans] No, no, I love it! 1387 00:58:27,068 --> 00:58:30,985 [lively country music] [camera clicking] 1388 00:58:31,116 --> 00:58:33,858 - I'm covered with electrical burns and bug bites. 1389 00:58:33,988 --> 00:58:35,816 [camera clicking] 1390 00:58:35,947 --> 00:58:37,601 I'm severely dehydrated. 1391 00:58:37,731 --> 00:58:39,994 They've had me off my meds for two days. 1392 00:58:40,125 --> 00:58:42,823 [camera clicking] 1393 00:58:47,611 --> 00:58:51,266 You're supposed to be a professional, a scholar. 1394 00:58:52,833 --> 00:58:56,358 [Fran screaming] 1395 00:58:56,489 --> 00:58:58,883 - I'm putting you on the U.S. Forest Service no-use list 1396 00:58:59,013 --> 00:59:00,841 of Mark Twain Forest. 1397 00:59:00,972 --> 00:59:03,931 You brought all this on yourself, Cory. 1398 00:59:08,022 --> 00:59:10,677 [birds chirping] 1399 00:59:12,418 --> 00:59:13,767 - Professor Mathis, [tense music] 1400 00:59:13,898 --> 00:59:15,900 as you know, Ranger Teal was seriously injured 1401 00:59:16,030 --> 00:59:17,031 while you were conducting 1402 00:59:17,162 --> 00:59:18,946 your university-sanctioned experiments 1403 00:59:19,077 --> 00:59:20,905 in the Mark Twain Forest. 1404 00:59:21,035 --> 00:59:23,864 You should be careful what you say right now. 1405 00:59:23,995 --> 00:59:25,692 - You know how I got hurt. 1406 00:59:25,823 --> 00:59:27,912 - Gentlemen, please. 1407 00:59:28,042 --> 00:59:31,263 This board hasn't sanctioned anything in the forest. 1408 00:59:31,393 --> 00:59:34,701 - Billy, you've really taken it too far this time. 1409 00:59:34,832 --> 00:59:36,877 - Professor, please. 1410 00:59:37,008 --> 00:59:40,228 You are being indicted on assault, conspiracy, 1411 00:59:40,359 --> 00:59:43,057 and poaching on federal property. 1412 00:59:43,188 --> 00:59:44,624 The university has no reason to believe 1413 00:59:44,755 --> 00:59:46,844 the work you are doing in the woods 1414 00:59:46,974 --> 00:59:49,411 is for your modified corn research 1415 00:59:49,542 --> 00:59:51,588 and we are assuming that you haven't been using 1416 00:59:51,718 --> 00:59:53,938 your funding for that. 1417 00:59:54,068 --> 00:59:55,374 - You don't understand. 1418 00:59:55,504 --> 00:59:58,072 - Why is a professor of agricultural genetics 1419 00:59:58,203 --> 01:00:00,248 wasting university funding to search for turds 1420 01:00:00,379 --> 01:00:01,554 in the forest? 1421 01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:04,775 [typewriter clacking] 1422 01:00:05,993 --> 01:00:08,300 - But it sure as hell don't belong to Bigfoot. 1423 01:00:08,430 --> 01:00:10,345 - Okay, all right, Burns. 1424 01:00:10,476 --> 01:00:12,783 The most compelling evidence of all involves 1425 01:00:12,913 --> 01:00:17,570 the sequencing of mitochondrial DNA which proved 100% human. 1426 01:00:18,484 --> 01:00:21,443 - My neck was nearly broken in two. 1427 01:00:21,574 --> 01:00:23,228 My hands are burnt up. 1428 01:00:25,317 --> 01:00:28,625 [slide projector humming] 1429 01:00:30,757 --> 01:00:31,845 - President Burns, can you do something 1430 01:00:31,976 --> 01:00:33,760 about the projector please? 1431 01:00:33,891 --> 01:00:35,457 - We have no alternative. 1432 01:00:35,588 --> 01:00:37,242 - To what? 1433 01:00:37,372 --> 01:00:41,420 - We are asking for your resignation, effective immediately. 1434 01:00:42,421 --> 01:00:43,640 - And fire me? 1435 01:00:43,770 --> 01:00:44,858 Just like that? 1436 01:00:46,381 --> 01:00:47,121 - Yep. 1437 01:00:53,475 --> 01:00:54,302 - [Billy] How'd I do? 1438 01:00:54,433 --> 01:00:56,043 - Perfect. 1439 01:00:56,174 --> 01:00:58,219 Blanket the town with these. 1440 01:00:58,350 --> 01:01:01,570 We need to shut the forest down. 1441 01:01:01,701 --> 01:01:02,833 - Yes, sir. 1442 01:01:02,963 --> 01:01:06,532 [birds chirping] 1443 01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,665 - [Cassie] Uncle Billy, you stop right there! 1444 01:01:08,795 --> 01:01:09,840 - What do you want, little boy? 1445 01:01:09,970 --> 01:01:11,276 - I would like to speak to you about the charges 1446 01:01:11,406 --> 01:01:13,844 brought against Professor Mathis. 1447 01:01:13,974 --> 01:01:15,323 - Wait, who are you? 1448 01:01:15,454 --> 01:01:16,629 Are we related? 1449 01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,587 - Don't act like you don't know me, Billy Teal. 1450 01:01:18,718 --> 01:01:19,980 I'm here to demand that you drop the charges 1451 01:01:20,111 --> 01:01:21,939 against my grandfather, Professor Mathis. 1452 01:01:22,069 --> 01:01:24,811 - Mathis is a dangerous lawbreaker. 1453 01:01:24,942 --> 01:01:26,683 I spent nearly 20 hours in one of his traps. 1454 01:01:26,813 --> 01:01:29,207 No food, no water, no sandwiches. 1455 01:01:29,337 --> 01:01:30,077 - That was unfortunate. 1456 01:01:30,208 --> 01:01:31,165 - He coulda brought me a sandwich. 1457 01:01:31,296 --> 01:01:32,732 - But I know you trapped yourself on purpose. 1458 01:01:32,863 --> 01:01:34,299 I saw you in the video. 1459 01:01:34,429 --> 01:01:36,693 You're just trying to sabotage us for no reason. 1460 01:01:36,823 --> 01:01:38,869 - I'm a certified agent of the U.S. government. 1461 01:01:38,999 --> 01:01:40,914 You can't speak to me like that, all right, kid. 1462 01:01:41,045 --> 01:01:42,655 Now stay out of my forest. 1463 01:01:42,786 --> 01:01:43,830 - Missouri Fish [typewriter clacking] 1464 01:01:43,961 --> 01:01:46,006 and Ornithology, just a glorified Girl Scout 1465 01:01:46,137 --> 01:01:48,400 out littering the forest with no littering signs. 1466 01:01:48,530 --> 01:01:50,271 Do you even have a permit to post those flyers? 1467 01:01:50,402 --> 01:01:52,447 - You are something else! 1468 01:01:52,578 --> 01:01:54,275 Think you know everything, don't ya? 1469 01:01:54,406 --> 01:01:57,452 Guess what, you don't know diddly squat! 1470 01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:02,240 - Well, I know things about you, Billy Teal, 1471 01:02:02,370 --> 01:02:03,458 like you do nasty things 1472 01:02:03,589 --> 01:02:05,591 online, weird things. - What, what? 1473 01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:06,897 - How would you like it 1474 01:02:07,027 --> 01:02:08,289 if I sent this hacked material to Wikileaks? 1475 01:02:08,420 --> 01:02:09,726 - You can't blackmail me. 1476 01:02:09,856 --> 01:02:11,031 - I can and I will unless you drop those charges, 1477 01:02:11,162 --> 01:02:12,772 Billy Teal, and start acting like family. 1478 01:02:12,903 --> 01:02:14,208 - Man, you got a smart mouth. 1479 01:02:14,339 --> 01:02:16,210 What I do in my free time is my business. 1480 01:02:16,341 --> 01:02:18,343 I'm an adult, K? 1481 01:02:18,473 --> 01:02:20,693 Adults do what they wanna do. 1482 01:02:23,348 --> 01:02:24,784 - Smart mouth? 1483 01:02:24,915 --> 01:02:26,351 Yes, I may have a smart mouth only because I think 1484 01:02:26,481 --> 01:02:27,613 before I speak. 1485 01:02:29,267 --> 01:02:32,400 - You do whatever you like, little fella. 1486 01:02:33,837 --> 01:02:34,620 Hey! 1487 01:02:37,449 --> 01:02:38,755 That's littering! 1488 01:02:43,498 --> 01:02:46,284 I could give you a citation for that. 1489 01:02:47,894 --> 01:02:48,677 [engine revving] 1490 01:02:48,808 --> 01:02:51,158 - In 2001, I was a firefighter. 1491 01:02:51,289 --> 01:02:52,159 There was a terrible fire 1492 01:02:52,290 --> 01:02:54,292 on the Arkansas-Missouri border. 1493 01:02:54,422 --> 01:02:55,075 We found an animal [siren blaring] 1494 01:02:55,206 --> 01:02:56,468 that was badly burned. 1495 01:02:56,598 --> 01:02:57,556 It was big like a bear 1496 01:02:57,686 --> 01:02:59,253 but it wasn't a bear. 1497 01:03:01,168 --> 01:03:02,430 We wrapped it in wet towels. 1498 01:03:02,561 --> 01:03:03,997 We did everything we could to try and save it 1499 01:03:04,128 --> 01:03:05,782 but it didn't make it. 1500 01:03:08,001 --> 01:03:09,829 The vet got all freaked out working on it 1501 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,613 like it was just way too human. 1502 01:03:11,744 --> 01:03:14,051 He demanded a doctor to come in. 1503 01:03:14,181 --> 01:03:16,749 He said, "This ain't no animal." 1504 01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,882 - Was it wearing orange? 1505 01:03:19,012 --> 01:03:20,274 - It was nothin' like that Patterson film. 1506 01:03:20,405 --> 01:03:21,841 [sirens blaring] 1507 01:03:21,972 --> 01:03:24,017 And then they took me to this room where a medical panel 1508 01:03:24,148 --> 01:03:26,933 tried to explain to me how burns could disfigure a bear 1509 01:03:27,064 --> 01:03:28,630 to look like a human. 1510 01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:31,155 [tires screeching] 1511 01:03:31,285 --> 01:03:32,025 [tire popping] 1512 01:03:32,156 --> 01:03:33,113 [tire fluttering] 1513 01:03:33,244 --> 01:03:35,986 And then these guys in green showed up 1514 01:03:37,683 --> 01:03:39,076 and forced me to sign paperwork 1515 01:03:39,206 --> 01:03:42,340 that said what I saw indeed a fried bear. 1516 01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:47,258 You know, kinda like those Men in Black guys. 1517 01:03:48,433 --> 01:03:50,261 [siren blaring] 1518 01:03:50,391 --> 01:03:52,872 - [Cory] Why is your car so loud? 1519 01:03:53,003 --> 01:03:56,397 - Driver, shut the vehicle off and step out now! 1520 01:03:56,528 --> 01:03:57,659 - After a while, they started accusing me 1521 01:03:57,790 --> 01:03:59,357 of starting the fire. 1522 01:03:59,487 --> 01:04:01,228 - Do you need me to call the cops? 1523 01:04:01,359 --> 01:04:03,013 - After interrogating me for two days, 1524 01:04:03,143 --> 01:04:04,405 they finally let me go. 1525 01:04:04,536 --> 01:04:06,407 - Driver, shut it off! 1526 01:04:06,538 --> 01:04:09,019 - It was a classic coverup. 1527 01:04:09,149 --> 01:04:11,760 [Jessi grunting] 1528 01:04:19,812 --> 01:04:23,163 [jet rumbling] 1529 01:04:23,294 --> 01:04:24,948 - [Agent Smith] There's an urgent top secret mission 1530 01:04:25,078 --> 01:04:26,906 and I think you're ready for it. 1531 01:04:27,037 --> 01:04:29,343 The report here shows that you deal pretty regularly 1532 01:04:29,474 --> 01:04:31,476 with a special resident in your forest. 1533 01:04:31,606 --> 01:04:32,607 - Resident? 1534 01:04:32,738 --> 01:04:34,261 - [Agent Smith] A special resident. 1535 01:04:34,392 --> 01:04:37,308 - Oh, yeah, you mean Bigfoot. 1536 01:04:37,438 --> 01:04:39,527 - I can tell I can count on you to handle this. 1537 01:04:39,658 --> 01:04:41,616 - Anything to be part of the team. 1538 01:04:41,747 --> 01:04:43,227 - Billy, have you seen my blue underwear? 1539 01:04:43,357 --> 01:04:44,837 - Sis, I'm on the phone. 1540 01:04:44,968 --> 01:04:47,013 [Sissy grunts] 1541 01:04:47,144 --> 01:04:49,407 - According to our intel there are two more residents 1542 01:04:49,537 --> 01:04:51,191 expanding their territory. 1543 01:04:51,322 --> 01:04:52,584 - I haven't seen-- 1544 01:04:52,714 --> 01:04:55,282 - For the safety of the public and the program, 1545 01:04:55,413 --> 01:04:57,502 we need you to take them out. 1546 01:04:57,632 --> 01:04:58,720 - Take them out? 1547 01:04:58,851 --> 01:05:02,115 - We need you to liquidate the residents. 1548 01:05:02,246 --> 01:05:04,770 You do this and I'll put a recommendation 1549 01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,598 to bring you into MIG. 1550 01:05:07,860 --> 01:05:10,428 Now, how does that sound, Agent Teal? 1551 01:05:10,558 --> 01:05:12,778 - Did you say agent? 1552 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:14,432 - Don't let me down. 1553 01:05:23,310 --> 01:05:24,137 - Hey, dipshit. 1554 01:05:24,268 --> 01:05:26,487 We got a text you needed You-Ber. 1555 01:05:26,618 --> 01:05:29,142 - [Casey] [chuckles] No, don't need a You-Ber. 1556 01:05:29,273 --> 01:05:29,969 Go away. 1557 01:05:31,579 --> 01:05:33,625 - You're still paying for us driving out here. 1558 01:05:33,755 --> 01:05:36,019 - Yeah, and I gave your service a one-star rating. 1559 01:05:36,149 --> 01:05:38,369 Oh, and driver arrived drunk. 1560 01:05:40,719 --> 01:05:41,894 - Drunk? - Drunk, my ass! 1561 01:05:42,025 --> 01:05:42,895 I don't like you. 1562 01:05:43,026 --> 01:05:44,941 - I don't like you. 1563 01:05:45,071 --> 01:05:47,987 - Soon as you go back to Chicago, me and your girlfriend 1564 01:05:48,118 --> 01:05:48,988 will be laying down together. 1565 01:05:49,119 --> 01:05:50,642 You know that, big boy? 1566 01:05:50,772 --> 01:05:52,122 - Leave Gloria out of this. 1567 01:05:52,252 --> 01:05:53,123 - Make me. 1568 01:05:53,253 --> 01:05:54,385 [punch thudding] 1569 01:05:54,515 --> 01:05:56,909 - [Simon] What the hell did you do that for? 1570 01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,868 - That was really, really, cold, man. 1571 01:05:59,999 --> 01:06:00,957 - A sucker punch. 1572 01:06:01,087 --> 01:06:03,176 Never saw that shit comin'. 1573 01:06:03,307 --> 01:06:05,396 I think I just got a chubby. 1574 01:06:05,526 --> 01:06:07,354 I think we just saw you grow into a man 1575 01:06:07,485 --> 01:06:09,922 right here before our eyes. 1576 01:06:10,053 --> 01:06:11,576 - [Casey] Okay, I'm sorry. 1577 01:06:11,706 --> 01:06:13,273 I just need a ride. 1578 01:06:13,404 --> 01:06:14,535 I gotta find my dad 1579 01:06:14,666 --> 01:06:17,103 and I said some really crappy shit to Gloria. 1580 01:06:17,234 --> 01:06:19,366 - Well, get in, bro. 1581 01:06:19,497 --> 01:06:20,237 - Really? 1582 01:06:21,673 --> 01:06:24,371 Oh, we're all friends now and shit. 1583 01:06:24,502 --> 01:06:25,982 You know, you gotta be careful 1584 01:06:26,112 --> 01:06:27,287 not to hurt the ones you love. 1585 01:06:27,418 --> 01:06:30,029 - [chuckles] See, we're not bad people. 1586 01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:34,903 [chuckles] We're happy to give you a ride. 1587 01:06:35,469 --> 01:06:37,254 Good luck, dipshit! 1588 01:06:37,384 --> 01:06:38,951 - And we better get a good review or we're gonna take a dump 1589 01:06:39,082 --> 01:06:40,561 on your front porch. 1590 01:06:42,824 --> 01:06:43,956 - Wait, my bag! 1591 01:06:46,698 --> 01:06:48,526 I'm gonna take a dump on your porch! 1592 01:06:48,656 --> 01:06:53,574 This whole town's crazy. [lively country rock music] 1593 01:06:53,705 --> 01:06:54,575 Get over it. 1594 01:06:55,924 --> 01:06:56,795 - #Dipshit. 1595 01:06:58,057 --> 01:07:03,019 ♪ When I get back in my baby's arms ♪ 1596 01:07:03,149 --> 01:07:05,847 ♪ Hell, that's when I have to shake the time ♪ 1597 01:07:05,978 --> 01:07:08,285 [people chattering and laughing] 1598 01:07:08,415 --> 01:07:11,418 ♪ In my years and neon lights 1599 01:07:11,549 --> 01:07:13,551 ♪ And all night bars 1600 01:07:13,681 --> 01:07:14,769 - [Casey] What are you doing? 1601 01:07:14,900 --> 01:07:18,599 ♪ I will get a little heaven's on my mind ♪ 1602 01:07:18,730 --> 01:07:20,775 - Feeling sorry for myself. 1603 01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:25,824 [people laughing] 1604 01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:29,828 Look at those assholes. 1605 01:07:32,004 --> 01:07:33,919 They're talking about me. 1606 01:07:35,790 --> 01:07:38,141 - Who gives a shit about them? 1607 01:07:38,271 --> 01:07:41,318 They don't understand what you're doin'. 1608 01:07:45,974 --> 01:07:47,324 ♪ Well I couldn't [people laughing] 1609 01:07:47,454 --> 01:07:48,716 ♪ I couldn't wait there 1610 01:07:48,847 --> 01:07:51,023 - This isn't about proving some creature 1611 01:07:51,154 --> 01:07:52,677 walks around in the woods, all right? 1612 01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:55,680 ♪ This has been the life that I've chosen ♪ 1613 01:07:55,810 --> 01:07:57,725 - This is about the people that are around you, 1614 01:07:57,856 --> 01:08:00,598 who understand you, and believe in you. 1615 01:08:00,728 --> 01:08:03,035 I believe in what you're doin'. 1616 01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,778 I believe in you, Dad. 1617 01:08:10,738 --> 01:08:13,089 - Screw those jealous bastards. 1618 01:08:14,742 --> 01:08:16,440 ♪ Well, I know, I couldn't 1619 01:08:16,570 --> 01:08:18,442 - You know what? 1620 01:08:18,572 --> 01:08:20,792 I'm gonna find that creature and I'm gonna kill it. 1621 01:08:20,922 --> 01:08:21,749 Come on. 1622 01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:23,055 ♪ This has been the life 1623 01:08:23,186 --> 01:08:26,058 ♪ That I have chosen - Go get 'em, Cory. 1624 01:08:26,189 --> 01:08:28,713 [door creaking] 1625 01:08:30,018 --> 01:08:32,847 [power saw buzzing] 1626 01:08:38,288 --> 01:08:42,770 - This ignorant no good piece of fuckin' shit! 1627 01:08:42,901 --> 01:08:46,383 We just bought this thing like two days ago! 1628 01:08:46,513 --> 01:08:49,168 [saw clicking] 1629 01:08:49,299 --> 01:08:50,126 - Mom, I told you [tense music] 1630 01:08:50,256 --> 01:08:53,303 a hundred times, it's not my baby. 1631 01:08:53,433 --> 01:08:55,609 [sighs] Yeah, all right. 1632 01:08:55,740 --> 01:08:56,828 Love you, bye. 1633 01:08:58,395 --> 01:09:00,832 [saw clicking] 1634 01:09:06,011 --> 01:09:06,838 [saw buzzing] 1635 01:09:06,968 --> 01:09:09,275 - Dammit, Simon, dammit, Simon. 1636 01:09:10,450 --> 01:09:12,670 Goddammit, look what the hell you did! 1637 01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:13,323 - Damn, you got blood [ethereal chanting music] 1638 01:09:13,453 --> 01:09:14,324 on my shirt. 1639 01:09:14,454 --> 01:09:15,151 - On your shirt! 1640 01:09:15,281 --> 01:09:16,761 You cut off my thumb! 1641 01:09:16,891 --> 01:09:18,589 - Go to the truck, some duct tape, and some super glue. 1642 01:09:18,719 --> 01:09:20,025 It's not the first time you cut something off. 1643 01:09:20,156 --> 01:09:21,157 - I'll cut something 1644 01:09:21,287 --> 01:09:21,679 of yours off! - And it sure as hell 1645 01:09:21,809 --> 01:09:23,637 won't be the last. 1646 01:09:23,768 --> 01:09:24,725 And you forgot your thumb. 1647 01:09:24,856 --> 01:09:25,987 - Kiss my ass. 1648 01:09:26,118 --> 01:09:28,033 - [Simon] Don't be such a pussy about it. 1649 01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:29,774 - Gimme the tape, tape. 1650 01:09:29,904 --> 01:09:31,819 Gimme the damn tape! 1651 01:09:31,950 --> 01:09:33,386 More tape, come on. 1652 01:09:38,435 --> 01:09:39,610 Gimme a damn wipe. 1653 01:09:39,740 --> 01:09:40,480 Hurry up! 1654 01:09:42,569 --> 01:09:45,006 [grunts] There he is with our money. 1655 01:09:45,137 --> 01:09:46,965 Now I maybe get some stitches. 1656 01:09:47,095 --> 01:09:48,706 - Well, well, well. 1657 01:09:48,836 --> 01:09:51,056 If it isn't douche and bag. 1658 01:09:51,187 --> 01:09:52,057 - 'Bout time you got here. 1659 01:09:52,188 --> 01:09:53,624 - What'd you do to your thumb? 1660 01:09:53,754 --> 01:09:55,843 - Well, you cut it off, you glue it back on. 1661 01:09:55,974 --> 01:09:56,975 Same shit, different day. 1662 01:09:57,105 --> 01:09:59,238 [laughing] 1663 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:03,024 - Here you go. 1664 01:10:03,155 --> 01:10:04,765 - What the hell is this? 1665 01:10:04,896 --> 01:10:06,854 You said a thousand dollars. 1666 01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:09,901 - It's in the bear, asshole. [light upbeat music] 1667 01:10:10,031 --> 01:10:12,338 - [Simon And George] Ah. 1668 01:10:12,469 --> 01:10:14,862 [insects chirping] 1669 01:10:14,993 --> 01:10:17,082 - Do you think this is gonna be big enough? 1670 01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:18,388 Why do you think that green suit guy 1671 01:10:18,518 --> 01:10:20,999 is so secretive about all this? 1672 01:10:21,129 --> 01:10:22,957 - Damn, look what you made me do. 1673 01:10:23,088 --> 01:10:24,872 You made me sew my fingers together. 1674 01:10:25,003 --> 01:10:25,873 - I didn't do anything. 1675 01:10:26,004 --> 01:10:27,310 You're the one 1676 01:10:27,440 --> 01:10:28,485 that cut my thumb off! - You sure as hell did. 1677 01:10:28,615 --> 01:10:30,617 You made me lose my concentration, that's what! 1678 01:10:30,748 --> 01:10:31,749 - The only thing you can concentrate on 1679 01:10:31,879 --> 01:10:33,533 is pushin' a fart out. 1680 01:10:35,405 --> 01:10:39,844 - I don't know why I signed on on this frickin' job. 1681 01:10:39,974 --> 01:10:43,239 Could be back at home watching football. 1682 01:10:43,369 --> 01:10:46,416 Instead I'm tramping around the fuckin' woods 1683 01:10:46,546 --> 01:10:48,635 looking for a goddamn Bigfoot. 1684 01:10:48,766 --> 01:10:50,028 [squirrel screeching] 1685 01:10:50,158 --> 01:10:51,029 - What's up, little fella? 1686 01:10:51,159 --> 01:10:51,943 [squirrel chirping] 1687 01:10:52,073 --> 01:10:53,205 What happened to your tail? 1688 01:10:53,336 --> 01:10:54,075 Bigfoot get it? 1689 01:10:54,206 --> 01:10:57,731 [squirrel screeching] 1690 01:10:57,862 --> 01:11:01,387 [rifle clicking] 1691 01:11:01,518 --> 01:11:03,302 Oh shit, that MIG was right. 1692 01:11:03,433 --> 01:11:04,434 There's two of them. 1693 01:11:04,564 --> 01:11:06,784 I shoulda brought my glasses. 1694 01:11:11,136 --> 01:11:13,704 [rifle firing] 1695 01:11:13,834 --> 01:11:16,402 [rifle clicking] 1696 01:11:21,233 --> 01:11:23,235 [rifle firing] 1697 01:11:23,366 --> 01:11:26,282 [lighthearted music] 1698 01:11:27,674 --> 01:11:28,980 Oh, fuck. 1699 01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:29,850 Oh fuck. 1700 01:11:33,463 --> 01:11:34,159 Oh fuck. 1701 01:11:46,432 --> 01:11:47,955 He never smiles. 1702 01:11:48,086 --> 01:11:49,043 - Ranger Teal's saying one of you 1703 01:11:49,174 --> 01:11:50,349 put the Shinehuff's up to it. 1704 01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:51,655 - To what, getting shot? 1705 01:11:51,785 --> 01:11:54,527 - He said you claim there's a human-like creature 1706 01:11:54,658 --> 01:11:56,529 living in the woods and you had the Shinehuffs 1707 01:11:56,660 --> 01:11:58,749 dress up like Bigfoot 1708 01:11:58,879 --> 01:12:01,926 to collect the $10-million bounty. 1709 01:12:02,056 --> 01:12:03,406 And you're in a big pile of bear shit 1710 01:12:03,536 --> 01:12:05,233 unless you start answering our questions. 1711 01:12:05,364 --> 01:12:06,713 - Nobody's accusing you of anything. 1712 01:12:06,844 --> 01:12:08,106 We're just trying to find out what happened. 1713 01:12:08,236 --> 01:12:11,065 - Someone reported seeing Fran Andersen 1714 01:12:11,196 --> 01:12:12,763 hand the Shinehuff brothers an envelope 1715 01:12:12,893 --> 01:12:14,199 filled with cash the other day. 1716 01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:15,983 - That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. 1717 01:12:16,114 --> 01:12:17,811 An envelope full of cash? 1718 01:12:17,942 --> 01:12:19,987 How 'bout an envelope full of $23, 1719 01:12:20,118 --> 01:12:23,774 payment for them fools mowing my lawn. 1720 01:12:23,904 --> 01:12:27,299 - You could be headed to federal prison. 1721 01:12:27,430 --> 01:12:29,127 You know what happens to a guy like you in prison 1722 01:12:29,257 --> 01:12:30,868 on the first day? 1723 01:12:30,998 --> 01:12:35,089 10 Bigfoot-sized, unshaven convicts do you up the ass 1724 01:12:37,353 --> 01:12:39,267 just to see the look on your face. 1725 01:12:39,398 --> 01:12:41,835 - Okay, I think we're done here. 1726 01:12:41,966 --> 01:12:44,882 If you hear anything just let us know. 1727 01:12:52,542 --> 01:12:54,370 - [Fran] Fuckin' weasel. 1728 01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:04,118 - You know he's crazy, right? 1729 01:13:04,249 --> 01:13:05,598 [Cory chuckles] 1730 01:13:05,729 --> 01:13:08,340 Where do you find these people? 1731 01:13:08,471 --> 01:13:09,515 - Next thing you know [lively country music] 1732 01:13:09,646 --> 01:13:10,734 you start hearing fucking stick butts and shit 1733 01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:11,604 and you can see his eyes 1734 01:13:11,735 --> 01:13:12,779 and I'm sitting under the tree 1735 01:13:12,910 --> 01:13:15,739 waiting on a Bigfoot to come out. 1736 01:13:15,869 --> 01:13:16,957 Don't shoot this motherfucker. 1737 01:13:17,088 --> 01:13:18,045 [rock thudding] 1738 01:13:18,176 --> 01:13:18,829 [tires screeching] 1739 01:13:18,959 --> 01:13:20,265 God! 1740 01:13:20,396 --> 01:13:25,139 [rock thudding] [tense music] 1741 01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:31,537 [rocks thudding] 1742 01:13:31,668 --> 01:13:32,799 Ow! 1743 01:13:32,930 --> 01:13:37,674 [Fran screaming] [Bigfoot shouting] 1744 01:13:45,377 --> 01:13:47,988 - Police showed up in time to stop the bleeding 1745 01:13:48,119 --> 01:13:48,902 and they rushed me [typewriter clacking] 1746 01:13:49,033 --> 01:13:50,121 to the hospital where them doctors 1747 01:13:50,251 --> 01:13:53,559 down there, they sewed my arm back on and such. 1748 01:13:53,690 --> 01:13:54,952 I mean I even got a little bit of movement 1749 01:13:55,082 --> 01:13:56,954 in my fingers right now. 1750 01:13:57,084 --> 01:13:58,346 - [Rick] Dude, there's nothin' wrong with this footage. 1751 01:13:58,477 --> 01:14:00,348 All we need is to hire three actors, 1752 01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:01,785 fur 'em up, and shoot the reverse. 1753 01:14:01,915 --> 01:14:02,568 - [Jeremy] How you figure that? 1754 01:14:02,699 --> 01:14:03,743 We don't even have anything. 1755 01:14:03,874 --> 01:14:05,919 All we have is stuff of them running off. 1756 01:14:06,050 --> 01:14:07,138 How we gonna pay back our investor. 1757 01:14:07,268 --> 01:14:08,792 My uncle's pissed! 1758 01:14:08,922 --> 01:14:11,272 - You two have to be the dumbest idiots on the planet. 1759 01:14:11,403 --> 01:14:13,623 A Bigfoot snuff film, really? 1760 01:14:15,363 --> 01:14:17,627 I'm Agent Jones with the U.S. Secret Forest Service. 1761 01:14:17,757 --> 01:14:18,758 I'm going to give you a chance 1762 01:14:18,889 --> 01:14:20,847 to work for us and avoid going to prison. 1763 01:14:20,978 --> 01:14:23,110 You don't wanna go to prison do you? 1764 01:14:23,241 --> 01:14:25,461 Our first target will be Cory Mathis. 1765 01:14:25,591 --> 01:14:28,376 Some people call him the Professor. 1766 01:14:28,507 --> 01:14:29,465 - Have I told you [lighthearted music] 1767 01:14:29,595 --> 01:14:31,249 about my plan B? 1768 01:14:31,379 --> 01:14:33,556 If my show doesn't blow up, I will begin production 1769 01:14:33,686 --> 01:14:36,341 of my flatulence filtered underwear. 1770 01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:38,299 - You're gonna make fart filtering underwear? 1771 01:14:38,430 --> 01:14:40,171 - Yeah, just for women. 1772 01:14:41,651 --> 01:14:43,261 Normal lace panties 1773 01:14:43,391 --> 01:14:47,483 with my patented built-in carbon filtered insert. 1774 01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:50,137 There'll be three flavors to choose from: 1775 01:14:50,268 --> 01:14:53,271 lavender, lilac, and French vanilla. 1776 01:14:53,401 --> 01:14:57,101 And who doesn't like French vanilla? 1777 01:14:57,231 --> 01:14:59,103 - [giggling] Chocolate wouldn't be good, buddy. 1778 01:14:59,233 --> 01:15:00,408 [giggling] 1779 01:15:00,539 --> 01:15:02,759 - I'm calling it Dior-deizer. 1780 01:15:04,108 --> 01:15:06,066 I already have the name trademarked 1781 01:15:06,197 --> 01:15:08,416 and the website secured. 1782 01:15:08,547 --> 01:15:09,940 Here's my tagline. 1783 01:15:10,070 --> 01:15:13,813 Dior-deizer, putting your best scent out there. 1784 01:15:13,944 --> 01:15:16,599 - [Cory] He did what with the rabbit? 1785 01:15:16,729 --> 01:15:18,949 - I think I see our target. 1786 01:15:19,079 --> 01:15:19,819 Get ready. 1787 01:15:21,386 --> 01:15:22,343 - Holy Jesus. 1788 01:15:23,649 --> 01:15:24,694 [Rick laughing] 1789 01:15:24,824 --> 01:15:26,043 Ya fuckin' lunatic! 1790 01:15:26,173 --> 01:15:27,305 [plane engine whirring] 1791 01:15:27,435 --> 01:15:30,569 [tense strumming music] 1792 01:15:36,140 --> 01:15:37,054 - What the hell's going on? 1793 01:15:37,184 --> 01:15:39,099 - My name is Director Loretta Best. 1794 01:15:39,230 --> 01:15:41,449 - You double crossing weasel. 1795 01:15:42,450 --> 01:15:44,235 He's the one that set me up. 1796 01:15:44,365 --> 01:15:45,802 - No one set you up. 1797 01:15:45,932 --> 01:15:47,499 You eliminated the wrong target. 1798 01:15:47,630 --> 01:15:49,370 - What the hell is this all about? 1799 01:15:49,501 --> 01:15:50,676 I'm not a killer. 1800 01:15:50,807 --> 01:15:52,069 - We can clean this whole mess up for you. 1801 01:15:52,199 --> 01:15:54,637 We just need you to be on board. 1802 01:15:54,767 --> 01:15:57,335 We're gonna give you a clean record, promotion to MIG, 1803 01:15:57,465 --> 01:15:59,337 and a $5-million bonus. 1804 01:15:59,467 --> 01:16:00,556 We still believe in you. 1805 01:16:00,686 --> 01:16:01,992 - We're putting in motion a plan 1806 01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:04,560 that will end their monster hunt. 1807 01:16:04,690 --> 01:16:05,386 - What about my brother? 1808 01:16:05,517 --> 01:16:06,823 - Same deal for him. 1809 01:16:06,953 --> 01:16:08,781 - Mr. Smith here will fill you in on the details. 1810 01:16:08,912 --> 01:16:10,957 Do you have any questions for me? 1811 01:16:11,088 --> 01:16:13,656 - You're makin' me a Man in Green? 1812 01:16:14,657 --> 01:16:16,093 Awesome! 1813 01:16:16,223 --> 01:16:18,138 Okay, so if we're the Men in Green, 1814 01:16:18,269 --> 01:16:21,054 and you're the Woman in Green, W-I-G, 1815 01:16:21,185 --> 01:16:23,274 that makes you the big wig? 1816 01:16:23,404 --> 01:16:24,971 You're the big wig. 1817 01:16:25,102 --> 01:16:26,843 - Get to work, gentlemen. 1818 01:16:26,973 --> 01:16:29,019 - She's the big wig, right? 1819 01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:33,806 Is that a poly blend? 1820 01:16:33,937 --> 01:16:34,764 What? 1821 01:16:34,894 --> 01:16:37,027 I just met with the MIG guys. 1822 01:16:37,157 --> 01:16:40,639 We have their guarantee for full agent status. 1823 01:16:41,684 --> 01:16:43,120 That's $10 million, 1824 01:16:44,774 --> 01:16:47,124 five million each. 1825 01:16:47,254 --> 01:16:50,301 - All right, there's no frickin' way I'm wearing this thing. 1826 01:16:50,431 --> 01:16:52,346 - You just need to draw them out. 1827 01:16:52,477 --> 01:16:54,958 I'll take care of Andersen. 1828 01:16:55,088 --> 01:16:58,788 And MIG, they'll create a hoax, bump off Mathis, 1829 01:16:59,919 --> 01:17:01,704 take care of the rest. 1830 01:17:01,834 --> 01:17:02,966 - What do you mean a hoax? 1831 01:17:03,096 --> 01:17:04,141 - That's what they do. 1832 01:17:04,271 --> 01:17:06,970 They cover up everything by creating hoaxes. 1833 01:17:07,100 --> 01:17:08,972 They create a fake UFO sighting, 1834 01:17:09,102 --> 01:17:10,626 then they cover up the real one. 1835 01:17:10,756 --> 01:17:12,758 It's freakin' brilliant. 1836 01:17:12,889 --> 01:17:14,107 - What about Gloria? 1837 01:17:14,238 --> 01:17:15,631 No harm can come to her. 1838 01:17:15,761 --> 01:17:17,937 - Hmm, they've guaranteed immunity for her. 1839 01:17:18,068 --> 01:17:19,983 It's Andersen they want. 1840 01:17:20,113 --> 01:17:22,072 - All right, Billy, I'll do it, but if I get shot, 1841 01:17:22,202 --> 01:17:24,988 you're gonna have to live with it the rest of your life. 1842 01:17:25,118 --> 01:17:27,338 - You wanna get ice cream? 1843 01:17:27,468 --> 01:17:29,166 - You're payin' this time. 1844 01:17:29,296 --> 01:17:30,297 - Can I borrow five bucks? 1845 01:17:30,428 --> 01:17:31,168 - Funny. 1846 01:17:33,474 --> 01:17:36,477 - I've got a video on my phone of a creature in the forest. 1847 01:17:36,608 --> 01:17:39,480 It is most certainly Bigfoot. 1848 01:17:39,611 --> 01:17:43,267 [typewriter clacking] 1849 01:17:43,397 --> 01:17:44,094 - Well, why don't you go ahead 1850 01:17:44,224 --> 01:17:44,877 and let me take a look - Yeah? 1851 01:17:45,008 --> 01:17:45,922 - at what you got there? 1852 01:17:46,052 --> 01:17:47,140 - [MIG Agent Smith] You see this? 1853 01:17:47,271 --> 01:17:48,011 [comical music] 1854 01:17:48,141 --> 01:17:49,577 - What is this, boy? 1855 01:17:49,708 --> 01:17:51,231 You mean to tell me you got footage 1856 01:17:51,362 --> 01:17:53,581 of a Bigfoot takin' a dump? [agent laughing] 1857 01:17:53,712 --> 01:17:54,931 What's the deal with that rabbit? 1858 01:17:55,061 --> 01:17:56,802 Let me guess. 1859 01:17:56,933 --> 01:17:58,674 Bigfoot used that bunny to wipe his ass with? 1860 01:17:58,804 --> 01:18:01,633 - That's exactly what he did. 1861 01:18:01,764 --> 01:18:05,245 And I know footage like this is worth a lotta money. 1862 01:18:05,376 --> 01:18:06,769 So, I need to make sure that I'm sharing it 1863 01:18:06,899 --> 01:18:08,335 with somebody that I can trust. 1864 01:18:08,466 --> 01:18:10,686 - Uh, you ever had Missouri Boiled Beef? 1865 01:18:10,816 --> 01:18:11,774 - [MIG Agent Smith] No, I haven't. 1866 01:18:11,904 --> 01:18:12,644 - You in for a treat, boy. 1867 01:18:12,775 --> 01:18:13,819 Right this way. 1868 01:18:13,950 --> 01:18:16,039 - [MIG Agent Smith] All right, all right. 1869 01:18:16,169 --> 01:18:18,737 [water bubbling] 1870 01:18:22,436 --> 01:18:25,526 - Why don't you go ahead and give it a stir. 1871 01:18:25,657 --> 01:18:29,835 - There's enough meat in there to feed an army. 1872 01:18:29,966 --> 01:18:30,706 - Almost. 1873 01:18:30,836 --> 01:18:31,968 [lively country music] 1874 01:18:32,098 --> 01:18:36,537 [MIG Agent Smith grunting] [water splashing] 1875 01:18:42,674 --> 01:18:43,893 - Pastor Evans, Pastor Evans! 1876 01:18:44,023 --> 01:18:45,111 What's going on here? 1877 01:18:45,242 --> 01:18:45,938 - Step aside. - What is going on? 1878 01:18:46,069 --> 01:18:46,896 What is going on, Pastor Evans? 1879 01:18:47,026 --> 01:18:47,984 - Step aside. 1880 01:18:48,114 --> 01:18:48,898 I'm only gonna tell you one time! 1881 01:18:49,028 --> 01:18:50,377 - Pastor Evans, are you all right? 1882 01:18:50,508 --> 01:18:51,161 Pastor Evans! 1883 01:18:51,291 --> 01:18:52,118 Comment. 1884 01:18:52,249 --> 01:18:53,903 - It's racism is what it is. 1885 01:18:54,033 --> 01:18:55,861 It's religious profiling. - You get over here! 1886 01:18:55,992 --> 01:18:56,862 - The first amendment of the Bible 1887 01:18:56,993 --> 01:18:59,038 says that a man of God shouldn't be 1888 01:18:59,169 --> 01:19:00,431 treated like this. - Shut your ass up! 1889 01:19:00,561 --> 01:19:05,305 [officer laughing] [Pastor Evans grunting] 1890 01:19:06,306 --> 01:19:08,874 - I don't need no fake news reported on me. 1891 01:19:09,005 --> 01:19:10,180 I'll tell you my story. 1892 01:19:10,310 --> 01:19:11,659 - [News Anchor] Your story. 1893 01:19:11,790 --> 01:19:12,748 - Pastor Evans! [woman screaming] 1894 01:19:12,878 --> 01:19:13,661 You let me out of here! 1895 01:19:13,792 --> 01:19:14,750 Let me outta here! [light knocking] 1896 01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:15,838 Pastor Evans! 1897 01:19:17,491 --> 01:19:18,275 Let me out. 1898 01:19:21,017 --> 01:19:22,627 Pastor Evans! 1899 01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:25,586 Pastor Evans, you let me outta here, Pastor Evans. 1900 01:19:25,717 --> 01:19:26,500 [tense music] 1901 01:19:26,631 --> 01:19:29,590 [tires screeching] 1902 01:19:29,721 --> 01:19:30,809 - Well, that's not good. 1903 01:19:30,940 --> 01:19:34,726 - He's goin' to jail. [eerie music] 1904 01:19:34,857 --> 01:19:38,208 - Ranger Bobby, make sure you wear the suit. 1905 01:19:39,775 --> 01:19:43,126 I want this to be our best hoax coverup yet. 1906 01:19:45,737 --> 01:19:48,000 I want you to take Mathis out. 1907 01:19:50,133 --> 01:19:52,091 You read me, Dryer? 1908 01:19:52,222 --> 01:19:54,746 We need some of that tracer ammo. 1909 01:19:55,747 --> 01:19:56,617 Yeah. 1910 01:19:56,748 --> 01:19:58,663 That scares the pee outta people. 1911 01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:01,666 Hey, Don, tell Melania it's gonna be fine. 1912 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:04,364 Nothing to worry about. 1913 01:20:04,495 --> 01:20:06,889 Yeah, we'll get the kids together sometime. 1914 01:20:07,019 --> 01:20:07,715 Make it great. 1915 01:20:07,846 --> 01:20:08,542 [alarm blaring] 1916 01:20:08,673 --> 01:20:09,369 Talk to you later. 1917 01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:12,895 [metal creaking] 1918 01:20:13,025 --> 01:20:17,769 [weapon firing] [electricity buzzing] 1919 01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:26,865 - [Fran] Gotcha, you bastard! 1920 01:20:26,996 --> 01:20:29,476 Yes, I'm comin' to get your ass! 1921 01:20:32,566 --> 01:20:35,091 [magical music] 1922 01:20:37,615 --> 01:20:38,355 - [Cassie] Fran? 1923 01:20:38,485 --> 01:20:40,183 - What's goin' on? 1924 01:20:40,313 --> 01:20:41,532 - Fran took off alone. 1925 01:20:41,662 --> 01:20:42,402 The camera is down at the trap. 1926 01:20:42,533 --> 01:20:44,361 - [Cory] Jesus. 1927 01:20:44,491 --> 01:20:46,406 [insects chirping] 1928 01:20:46,537 --> 01:20:48,452 - [Bobby] I think my balls got fused together. 1929 01:20:48,582 --> 01:20:51,020 - Suppose you want out of there? 1930 01:20:52,282 --> 01:20:53,413 - This better work. 1931 01:20:53,544 --> 01:20:55,328 I got burns all over me. 1932 01:20:56,329 --> 01:20:57,156 - Dad's in town. 1933 01:20:57,287 --> 01:20:58,505 We need to act fast! 1934 01:20:58,636 --> 01:20:59,680 Grandpa needs our help! 1935 01:20:59,811 --> 01:21:00,943 - Cassie, you are gonna stay here 1936 01:21:01,073 --> 01:21:01,900 and you're gonna man the monitors. 1937 01:21:02,031 --> 01:21:02,814 Do you understand? 1938 01:21:02,945 --> 01:21:04,250 Get up here now! 1939 01:21:04,381 --> 01:21:06,035 Thank you, very much. 1940 01:21:06,165 --> 01:21:08,472 I love you, go. - We are wasting time here. 1941 01:21:08,602 --> 01:21:11,040 - You know what, James, why don't you shut up 1942 01:21:11,170 --> 01:21:12,998 and make sure this time you don't get trigger happy 1943 01:21:13,129 --> 01:21:15,566 and shoot something you're not supposed to. 1944 01:21:15,696 --> 01:21:17,350 - Hey, we're not stupid, you know. 1945 01:21:17,481 --> 01:21:19,483 [Jamal laughing] 1946 01:21:19,613 --> 01:21:20,701 - Who is that? 1947 01:21:20,832 --> 01:21:21,485 - [Lilly] This? 1948 01:21:21,615 --> 01:21:22,660 - Yeah. 1949 01:21:22,790 --> 01:21:23,356 - [Lilly] This is my boyfriend Jamal. 1950 01:21:23,487 --> 01:21:25,054 - [Jamal] Bring it in, baby. 1951 01:21:25,184 --> 01:21:27,056 - His grandmother made it with a Bigfoot in 1960. 1952 01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:27,839 - Nevermind, nevermind. 1953 01:21:27,970 --> 01:21:28,666 Jesus Christ. 1954 01:21:28,796 --> 01:21:29,493 Get in the woods. 1955 01:21:29,623 --> 01:21:30,973 Let's go, come on! 1956 01:21:31,103 --> 01:21:32,148 [sighs] Let's find the Professor 1957 01:21:32,278 --> 01:21:35,673 and see what the hell is going on out there. 1958 01:21:39,633 --> 01:21:41,200 - [Jamal] Go, go, go! 1959 01:21:44,029 --> 01:21:45,857 - Don't you influence... 1960 01:21:47,337 --> 01:21:48,381 Jesus, get in the truck! 1961 01:21:48,512 --> 01:21:51,254 [people grunting] 1962 01:21:51,384 --> 01:21:52,168 Watch the gun! 1963 01:21:52,298 --> 01:21:53,299 Where's James? 1964 01:21:56,476 --> 01:21:57,477 - Are you looking down my, 1965 01:21:57,608 --> 01:21:58,391 are you looking down my shirt? 1966 01:21:58,522 --> 01:21:59,479 - Jamal! 1967 01:21:59,610 --> 01:22:00,263 Jamal! - I just turned my, 1968 01:22:00,393 --> 01:22:01,568 but she's lyin'. 1969 01:22:01,699 --> 01:22:03,092 - This perve was looking down my shirt! 1970 01:22:03,222 --> 01:22:03,919 Control your man. 1971 01:22:04,049 --> 01:22:04,745 [hand thudding] 1972 01:22:04,876 --> 01:22:05,529 [Lilly screams] 1973 01:22:05,659 --> 01:22:06,486 - Go! 1974 01:22:06,617 --> 01:22:08,488 - Hey, hey, I didn't do shit! 1975 01:22:08,619 --> 01:22:09,446 - No fighting. 1976 01:22:09,576 --> 01:22:10,273 - Y'all are some racist shit. 1977 01:22:10,403 --> 01:22:11,665 That's what it is. - Really? 1978 01:22:11,796 --> 01:22:14,146 - Yeah. [car engine groaning] 1979 01:22:14,277 --> 01:22:15,539 [gentle country music] 1980 01:22:15,669 --> 01:22:18,150 - At this point, they're just a band of renegades. 1981 01:22:18,281 --> 01:22:19,673 This sort of thing happens all the time 1982 01:22:19,804 --> 01:22:21,719 in the forest around here. 1983 01:22:21,849 --> 01:22:23,634 But there's no time for chillin' 1984 01:22:23,764 --> 01:22:25,897 with that wild animal so near. 1985 01:22:26,028 --> 01:22:28,595 So lock those loads and cock that nine. 1986 01:22:28,726 --> 01:22:31,947 As I see it there's only two ways this all plays out. 1987 01:22:32,077 --> 01:22:35,080 That's all I got for now, you know what I'm sayin'. 1988 01:22:35,211 --> 01:22:37,430 [whistling] 1989 01:22:45,090 --> 01:22:46,744 - Green light, green light. 1990 01:22:46,874 --> 01:22:48,354 Proceed with Operation Peek-A-Boo. 1991 01:22:48,485 --> 01:22:50,748 I repeat, proceed with Peek-A-Boo. 1992 01:22:50,878 --> 01:22:51,575 [static crackling] 1993 01:22:51,705 --> 01:22:52,750 - Roger that. 1994 01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:54,273 Peek-A-Boo's a go. 1995 01:22:55,709 --> 01:22:57,537 I need you to stay here with the tracking dart. 1996 01:22:57,668 --> 01:22:58,582 [drumming music] [Bobby grunting] 1997 01:22:58,712 --> 01:23:00,801 - [Bobby] Damn, bro, what the fuck? 1998 01:23:00,932 --> 01:23:03,369 [Billy sighs] 1999 01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:05,589 - Put the mask back on. 2000 01:23:05,719 --> 01:23:08,679 When they show up, I'll take Andersen out 2001 01:23:08,809 --> 01:23:11,290 then radio the MIG. 2002 01:23:11,421 --> 01:23:14,598 They'll bring in the hazmat to clean up the carcass. 2003 01:23:14,728 --> 01:23:17,166 [tense music] 2004 01:23:19,211 --> 01:23:20,430 - Shh, shh. 2005 01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:23,433 Come on, I'm getting it tonight. 2006 01:23:23,563 --> 01:23:25,000 - Professor. 2007 01:23:25,130 --> 01:23:25,826 Professor come on. 2008 01:23:25,957 --> 01:23:27,828 The GPS says this-a-way. 2009 01:23:29,091 --> 01:23:30,831 Goddammit, nothing. 2010 01:23:30,962 --> 01:23:31,963 - [Bobby] Was that necessary? 2011 01:23:32,094 --> 01:23:33,008 I'm bleeding. 2012 01:23:34,357 --> 01:23:36,054 [tracker chirping] - 202 this is-- 2013 01:23:36,185 --> 01:23:37,447 - Light it up, boys. 2014 01:23:37,577 --> 01:23:40,798 [weapon firing] 2015 01:23:40,928 --> 01:23:42,582 - Hold on, hold on, hold on. 2016 01:23:42,713 --> 01:23:44,541 Before we go any further, everyone, 2017 01:23:44,671 --> 01:23:46,238 we should go ahead and split up. 2018 01:23:46,369 --> 01:23:48,284 Make sure to keep your safety's on though. 2019 01:23:48,414 --> 01:23:50,199 We don't want anybody getting hurt. 2020 01:23:50,329 --> 01:23:51,069 [rifle firing] 2021 01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:52,679 [Jamal gasping] 2022 01:23:52,810 --> 01:23:53,550 - That was me. 2023 01:23:53,680 --> 01:23:54,681 My bad. 2024 01:23:54,812 --> 01:23:56,205 [guns firing] - Geez, golldangit! 2025 01:23:56,335 --> 01:23:57,641 This is Little Boy Blue calling. 2026 01:23:57,771 --> 01:23:59,512 We're taking live fire at our POZ here. 2027 01:23:59,643 --> 01:24:00,296 What the hell do we do? 2028 01:24:00,426 --> 01:24:01,471 - Little Boy Blue, 2029 01:24:01,601 --> 01:24:03,560 you are to proceed with the operation. 2030 01:24:03,690 --> 01:24:05,518 They are almost on your POZ. 2031 01:24:05,649 --> 01:24:07,607 When you see the Professor, take him out. 2032 01:24:07,738 --> 01:24:08,521 [bullet whirring] 2033 01:24:08,652 --> 01:24:10,045 - Geez, golldangit! 2034 01:24:11,176 --> 01:24:12,264 [Sissy shouting] 2035 01:24:12,395 --> 01:24:15,093 [Fran shouting] 2036 01:24:15,224 --> 01:24:17,965 - [Sissy] You no good low down skunk of a man. 2037 01:24:18,096 --> 01:24:20,011 - Sissy, what the hell are you doing? 2038 01:24:20,142 --> 01:24:22,057 - [grunts] Oh, did you forget your promise? 2039 01:24:22,187 --> 01:24:23,536 "Oh, I'll go call Pastor Evans 2040 01:24:23,667 --> 01:24:24,929 "as soon as you give me Billy's sack." 2041 01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:25,799 [arm cracking] [Fran shouting] 2042 01:24:25,930 --> 01:24:26,626 - Oh, come on I didn't actually 2043 01:24:26,757 --> 01:24:27,497 say it like, oh! [Sissy shouting] 2044 01:24:27,627 --> 01:24:29,064 Oh God! 2045 01:24:29,194 --> 01:24:30,195 Okay, okay. 2046 01:24:30,326 --> 01:24:31,675 - I'm gonna hurt you like you hurt me. 2047 01:24:31,805 --> 01:24:34,156 - [grunting] Sissy, please just let me, ow! 2048 01:24:34,286 --> 01:24:35,026 [arm crunching] 2049 01:24:35,157 --> 01:24:35,940 All right, all right! 2050 01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:36,941 Just let me go. 2051 01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,508 I'll call Pastor Evans. 2052 01:24:38,638 --> 01:24:40,118 He's somewhere in these woods. 2053 01:24:40,249 --> 01:24:40,988 Just let me go. 2054 01:24:41,119 --> 01:24:44,035 I promise, I promise, Sissy! 2055 01:24:44,166 --> 01:24:45,036 - All right. 2056 01:24:45,167 --> 01:24:46,211 [gun firing] 2057 01:24:46,342 --> 01:24:48,518 [Fran grunting] 2058 01:24:48,648 --> 01:24:52,391 All right, but you better not be messing with me. 2059 01:24:53,784 --> 01:24:54,698 - [Fran] Fooled ya, heffer! 2060 01:24:54,828 --> 01:24:55,525 [kick thudding] [Sissy screaming] 2061 01:24:55,655 --> 01:24:57,092 [Sissy groaning] [comical music] 2062 01:24:57,222 --> 01:24:59,833 [Sissy shouting] 2063 01:25:01,400 --> 01:25:06,144 [flare hissing] [Lexi shouting] 2064 01:25:07,580 --> 01:25:08,755 [Billy shouting] 2065 01:25:08,886 --> 01:25:09,930 [Bigfoot shouting] 2066 01:25:10,061 --> 01:25:11,889 [Sissy shouting] 2067 01:25:12,019 --> 01:25:12,890 [squirrel screeching] 2068 01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:15,458 [wolf howling] 2069 01:25:18,025 --> 01:25:19,244 [guns firing] 2070 01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:20,724 - I am shit balled. 2071 01:25:24,858 --> 01:25:26,251 Hell do? 2072 01:25:26,382 --> 01:25:27,165 Oh shit. 2073 01:25:27,296 --> 01:25:28,297 Rick. 2074 01:25:28,427 --> 01:25:31,256 [explosion booming] 2075 01:25:32,823 --> 01:25:33,780 [coughing] 2076 01:25:33,911 --> 01:25:36,609 [lively country music] 2077 01:25:36,740 --> 01:25:37,871 - [Bobby] What? 2078 01:25:39,090 --> 01:25:40,961 It's the creature, Billy! [Bigfoot growling] 2079 01:25:41,092 --> 01:25:42,441 Shoot him! [cage creaking] 2080 01:25:42,572 --> 01:25:44,878 Shoot him! - Bobby! 2081 01:25:45,009 --> 01:25:47,185 We can't, we can't shoot him. 2082 01:25:52,147 --> 01:25:53,452 - Right there, Billy. 2083 01:25:53,583 --> 01:25:54,627 Shoot him. 2084 01:25:54,758 --> 01:25:56,151 - Bobby, watch out! 2085 01:25:57,935 --> 01:25:59,154 - [Bobby] Billy! 2086 01:26:01,634 --> 01:26:06,378 [cage clattering] [gun firing] 2087 01:26:08,424 --> 01:26:09,555 [Bigfoot growling] 2088 01:26:09,686 --> 01:26:12,297 [tense music] [guns firing] 2089 01:26:12,428 --> 01:26:13,124 - It's an ambush. 2090 01:26:13,255 --> 01:26:14,517 Come on this way. 2091 01:26:20,740 --> 01:26:21,567 [women grunting] 2092 01:26:21,698 --> 01:26:22,264 - They got us surrounded. 2093 01:26:22,394 --> 01:26:23,134 Stay low! 2094 01:26:25,049 --> 01:26:27,486 - You coulda just said something, Lexi! 2095 01:26:27,617 --> 01:26:29,401 Hey bunny, don't get shot. 2096 01:26:29,532 --> 01:26:30,968 - Mom, can you hear me? 2097 01:26:31,098 --> 01:26:32,361 - Gloria, get the hell outta there! 2098 01:26:32,491 --> 01:26:34,798 [guns firing] 2099 01:26:34,928 --> 01:26:36,582 - [Rick] I'm gonna kill you, Andersen. 2100 01:26:36,713 --> 01:26:37,801 [gun firing] 2101 01:26:37,931 --> 01:26:39,585 - [Fran] I ain't dyin' by no serial hoaxer. 2102 01:26:39,716 --> 01:26:41,196 [gun firing] 2103 01:26:41,326 --> 01:26:43,067 I got karma on my side. 2104 01:26:44,155 --> 01:26:45,243 - [Rick] Leave God out of it. 2105 01:26:45,374 --> 01:26:46,549 This is between me and you. 2106 01:26:46,679 --> 01:26:47,506 [guns firing] 2107 01:26:47,637 --> 01:26:49,856 - [Fran] Fuck you! 2108 01:26:49,987 --> 01:26:52,990 - Fuck you three times and plus five! 2109 01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:55,558 [guns firing] 2110 01:26:58,038 --> 01:26:59,953 - [Fran] What the hell? 2111 01:27:00,084 --> 01:27:01,128 - It's racism. 2112 01:27:02,826 --> 01:27:03,566 It's... 2113 01:27:04,915 --> 01:27:06,308 - Get the hell outta here, you drunk bastard. 2114 01:27:06,438 --> 01:27:07,700 You pissed all over yourself. 2115 01:27:07,831 --> 01:27:09,398 - Get behind me. 2116 01:27:09,528 --> 01:27:10,834 - I'm trying to kill this man! 2117 01:27:10,964 --> 01:27:12,879 [gun firing] 2118 01:27:13,010 --> 01:27:15,273 - You shot me, asshole! 2119 01:27:15,404 --> 01:27:17,841 - You get what you get, you damn hoaxer. 2120 01:27:17,971 --> 01:27:19,408 - I'm not a hoaxer. 2121 01:27:19,538 --> 01:27:21,584 I'm a entrepreneur. 2122 01:27:21,714 --> 01:27:23,063 - I'll give you hoaxer, Andersen. 2123 01:27:23,194 --> 01:27:25,936 [rifle firing] 2124 01:27:26,066 --> 01:27:27,329 - Let's get the hell outta here. 2125 01:27:27,459 --> 01:27:30,157 - Gimme the rifle with the night scope. 2126 01:27:30,288 --> 01:27:31,898 - It's Andersen. 2127 01:27:32,029 --> 01:27:33,857 Holy shit, he's running. 2128 01:27:39,036 --> 01:27:39,950 - Professor. 2129 01:27:41,386 --> 01:27:42,300 What are you doing out here? 2130 01:27:42,431 --> 01:27:45,608 - What the hell we gonna do now, Fran? 2131 01:27:45,738 --> 01:27:49,612 It's like we're lost or something out here. 2132 01:27:49,742 --> 01:27:50,830 [rifle firing] 2133 01:27:50,961 --> 01:27:52,179 - Ow, goddammit. 2134 01:27:54,181 --> 01:27:55,574 - Holy shit. 2135 01:27:55,705 --> 01:27:57,141 Someone shot Mathis. 2136 01:27:57,272 --> 01:27:58,664 - Shot me in the ass. 2137 01:27:58,795 --> 01:28:00,057 Ahh! 2138 01:28:00,187 --> 01:28:01,537 Jesus, Fran. 2139 01:28:01,667 --> 01:28:04,104 [rifle firing] 2140 01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:11,024 You were always my favorite son. 2141 01:28:11,155 --> 01:28:11,895 - [Gloria] What? 2142 01:28:12,025 --> 01:28:13,157 You can't die on me. 2143 01:28:13,288 --> 01:28:14,027 - [Jamal] No, no, no, no. 2144 01:28:14,158 --> 01:28:14,985 You gotta keep his legs up. 2145 01:28:15,115 --> 01:28:16,116 [ethereal chanting music] 2146 01:28:16,247 --> 01:28:17,727 - [Gloria] You idiot! 2147 01:28:17,857 --> 01:28:18,641 Lilly! 2148 01:28:18,771 --> 01:28:19,685 - [Lilly] What? 2149 01:28:19,816 --> 01:28:20,251 - [Gloria] What is wrong with you? 2150 01:28:20,382 --> 01:28:21,165 Call 9-1-1! 2151 01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:23,167 - [Fran] What is 9-1-1 gonna do? 2152 01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:24,516 Give the man some morphine. [guns firing] 2153 01:28:24,647 --> 01:28:27,040 - [Gloria] Keep pressure on it! 2154 01:28:28,085 --> 01:28:30,479 - You want some of this? 2155 01:28:30,609 --> 01:28:32,437 - It's the Men in Green. 2156 01:28:35,919 --> 01:28:36,920 [gun firing] 2157 01:28:37,050 --> 01:28:38,313 The whole point of the suicide vest 2158 01:28:38,443 --> 01:28:40,358 is getting a pile of virgins at the end. 2159 01:28:40,489 --> 01:28:43,143 [shirt ripping] 2160 01:28:43,274 --> 01:28:45,624 I'm ending this right now. 2161 01:28:45,755 --> 01:28:47,713 - [Bobby] Well, what are we gonna do now? 2162 01:28:47,844 --> 01:28:50,150 - Let's head back to the command post. 2163 01:28:50,281 --> 01:28:52,849 Keep the mask on in case we come across Andersen. 2164 01:28:52,979 --> 01:28:54,633 - What if someone shoots me? 2165 01:28:54,764 --> 01:28:56,418 - You have the vest on. 2166 01:28:56,548 --> 01:28:59,203 Just don't take one to the head. 2167 01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:00,770 - Fucking family. 2168 01:29:00,900 --> 01:29:01,901 - [Billy] Look, I'll be right behind you. 2169 01:29:02,032 --> 01:29:02,815 Go, go, go! 2170 01:29:04,556 --> 01:29:06,776 [all shouting] 2171 01:29:06,906 --> 01:29:09,822 [guns firing] 2172 01:29:09,953 --> 01:29:10,823 - [Gloria] Somebody gimme a bandaid. 2173 01:29:10,954 --> 01:29:12,085 [all shouting] 2174 01:29:12,216 --> 01:29:13,435 - What the hell are you people doing? 2175 01:29:13,565 --> 01:29:15,915 Have you lost your mind? [guns firing] 2176 01:29:16,046 --> 01:29:16,786 - [WIG2] Are we still in control here? 2177 01:29:16,916 --> 01:29:19,179 [James shouting] 2178 01:29:19,310 --> 01:29:21,138 [tense music] 2179 01:29:21,268 --> 01:29:25,055 - He got shot! [people shouting] 2180 01:29:28,319 --> 01:29:30,495 [dramatic music] 2181 01:29:30,626 --> 01:29:32,889 [gun firing] 2182 01:29:33,019 --> 01:29:34,543 - Why'd you shoot me? 2183 01:29:36,414 --> 01:29:37,023 - [Gloria] He was the one that did it. 2184 01:29:37,154 --> 01:29:38,851 - You people, stay calm. 2185 01:29:38,982 --> 01:29:41,680 [people shouting] 2186 01:29:47,643 --> 01:29:48,905 [gun firing] 2187 01:29:49,035 --> 01:29:52,082 [ammunition crackling] 2188 01:29:53,213 --> 01:29:55,172 Let's not lose our heads. 2189 01:29:56,434 --> 01:29:57,217 - Oh shit! 2190 01:29:58,610 --> 01:30:03,180 [explosion booming] [Director Jones screaming] 2191 01:30:08,664 --> 01:30:09,752 - [Bobby] Did we get 'em? 2192 01:30:09,882 --> 01:30:11,754 - Yeah, man, we got 'em. 2193 01:30:11,884 --> 01:30:12,755 - Cool. 2194 01:30:12,885 --> 01:30:14,713 Maybe we can pay back my uncle. 2195 01:30:14,844 --> 01:30:16,976 Hey, bro, I don't think you're going the right way. 2196 01:30:17,107 --> 01:30:18,108 - As long as we're heading 2197 01:30:18,238 --> 01:30:19,936 in the opposite direction we're good. 2198 01:30:20,066 --> 01:30:21,677 - Hey man, what is that smell? 2199 01:30:21,807 --> 01:30:22,634 - Check the GPS. 2200 01:30:22,765 --> 01:30:23,766 Find out where we're goin'. 2201 01:30:23,896 --> 01:30:24,462 - All right, man I gotta get my phone. 2202 01:30:24,593 --> 01:30:26,246 It's in the back in my bag. 2203 01:30:26,377 --> 01:30:28,074 - [Bobby] Go, fat boy! 2204 01:30:29,946 --> 01:30:31,164 - What is that? 2205 01:30:31,295 --> 01:30:32,252 What the hell's that smell? 2206 01:30:32,383 --> 01:30:35,168 - French vanilla filtered underwear, baby. 2207 01:30:35,299 --> 01:30:38,563 - [Bobby] Smells like shit and rotten milk! 2208 01:30:39,999 --> 01:30:42,045 - I think I can see a clearing ahead. 2209 01:30:42,175 --> 01:30:42,959 - You're right. 2210 01:30:43,089 --> 01:30:43,960 It's big, black thing. 2211 01:30:44,090 --> 01:30:44,874 It's like a void. 2212 01:30:45,004 --> 01:30:45,788 - It's a quarry! 2213 01:30:45,918 --> 01:30:48,399 [tires screeching] 2214 01:30:48,530 --> 01:30:51,489 [Billy screaming] 2215 01:30:51,620 --> 01:30:54,100 [Bobby whimpering] 2216 01:30:54,231 --> 01:30:55,667 Don't move an inch. 2217 01:30:56,799 --> 01:30:58,888 [Billy farting] 2218 01:30:59,018 --> 01:31:01,456 - Your ass filter is making this shit unbearable, man! 2219 01:31:01,586 --> 01:31:03,849 - Just give it a minute to let the filter do it's work. 2220 01:31:03,980 --> 01:31:04,937 - I gotta open up 2221 01:31:05,068 --> 01:31:05,416 the fuckin' door, bro. - No, you don't. 2222 01:31:05,547 --> 01:31:06,722 Don't do it. 2223 01:31:06,852 --> 01:31:07,853 - [Bobby] I gotta get the fuck outta here! 2224 01:31:07,984 --> 01:31:09,115 - No, let me come back there. 2225 01:31:09,246 --> 01:31:10,682 We can jump out together. 2226 01:31:10,813 --> 01:31:11,466 - [Bobby] I'm outta here. 2227 01:31:11,596 --> 01:31:12,292 Fuck you. 2228 01:31:12,423 --> 01:31:13,511 [van clattering] 2229 01:31:13,642 --> 01:31:15,426 - You can forget about our partnership! 2230 01:31:15,557 --> 01:31:16,253 [Billy screaming] 2231 01:31:16,383 --> 01:31:18,995 [van clattering] 2232 01:31:21,693 --> 01:31:24,130 [tense music] 2233 01:31:32,617 --> 01:31:35,228 [Billy panting] 2234 01:31:38,884 --> 01:31:41,974 I can't believe I survived that. 2235 01:31:42,105 --> 01:31:44,716 [airbag popping] 2236 01:31:48,198 --> 01:31:51,375 [Pastor Evans grunting] 2237 01:31:54,247 --> 01:31:55,510 [explosion booming] [rocket hissing] 2238 01:31:55,640 --> 01:31:58,338 [Billy screaming] 2239 01:31:59,601 --> 01:32:02,125 [somber music] 2240 01:32:13,092 --> 01:32:13,658 - Well, I guess [lively country music] 2241 01:32:13,789 --> 01:32:15,312 this is the end. 2242 01:32:15,442 --> 01:32:16,443 The bad guy's dead 2243 01:32:16,574 --> 01:32:18,924 and our story's done folded. 2244 01:32:19,055 --> 01:32:21,318 But is there ever really an end to good and evil? 2245 01:32:21,448 --> 01:32:24,016 Certainly not this time, my friends. 2246 01:32:24,147 --> 01:32:25,278 So ignore the credits. [album screeching] 2247 01:32:25,409 --> 01:32:27,846 'Cause our story's got more secrets to tell. 2248 01:32:27,977 --> 01:32:30,806 The fat lady's got more song as well. 2249 01:32:33,286 --> 01:32:35,898 [whistling] 2250 01:32:36,028 --> 01:32:37,073 - Casey, stop it. 2251 01:32:37,203 --> 01:32:37,943 - Daddy? 2252 01:32:41,207 --> 01:32:43,427 None of you get it, do you? 2253 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:44,820 Grandpa was right. 2254 01:32:44,950 --> 01:32:47,431 The creature's out there and it might still be. 2255 01:32:47,562 --> 01:32:51,261 If we quit now all of Grandpa's hard work is just lost. 2256 01:32:51,391 --> 01:32:52,784 You're all just selfish! 2257 01:32:52,915 --> 01:32:53,568 [door clattering] 2258 01:32:53,698 --> 01:32:54,438 - Cassie! 2259 01:32:55,918 --> 01:32:58,485 [door clattering] 2260 01:32:58,616 --> 01:33:01,140 [door clattering] 2261 01:33:01,271 --> 01:33:06,015 [tense music] [insects chirping] 2262 01:33:08,060 --> 01:33:08,931 - [Fran] Ah. 2263 01:33:10,193 --> 01:33:12,064 - We gonna be rich, baby? 2264 01:33:13,500 --> 01:33:15,024 I'm sick of Missouri. 2265 01:33:15,154 --> 01:33:16,503 - You and me both. 2266 01:33:24,033 --> 01:33:27,950 Girl, you gonna have me harder than a fresh cut 2x4. 2267 01:33:28,080 --> 01:33:30,039 Why don't you go find Gloria and I'll take care of Casey. 2268 01:33:30,169 --> 01:33:31,388 - All right now. 2269 01:33:33,695 --> 01:33:36,480 [insects chirping] 2270 01:33:40,092 --> 01:33:40,745 - Lexi? [gun firing] 2271 01:33:40,876 --> 01:33:42,399 [Gloria screaming] 2272 01:33:42,529 --> 01:33:44,793 - What the hell are you doing? 2273 01:33:45,968 --> 01:33:46,577 [elbow thudding] [Gloria grunting] 2274 01:33:46,708 --> 01:33:47,447 [gun firing] 2275 01:33:47,578 --> 01:33:50,668 What the hell is wrong with you? 2276 01:33:50,799 --> 01:33:51,669 [Gloria shouting] 2277 01:33:51,800 --> 01:33:52,539 No! 2278 01:33:53,584 --> 01:33:54,280 I said get up. 2279 01:33:54,411 --> 01:33:55,064 [lively country music] 2280 01:33:55,194 --> 01:33:56,239 Why Lexi? 2281 01:33:56,369 --> 01:33:57,240 - [Lexi] No! 2282 01:33:59,198 --> 01:34:00,852 [Lexi screaming] 2283 01:34:00,983 --> 01:34:03,812 [both grunting] 2284 01:34:03,942 --> 01:34:05,814 [Gloria screaming] 2285 01:34:05,944 --> 01:34:07,467 - [Gloria] No, fuck! 2286 01:34:09,034 --> 01:34:09,731 [both screaming] 2287 01:34:09,861 --> 01:34:10,601 [Gloria thudding] 2288 01:34:10,732 --> 01:34:14,170 ♪ Out of every problem 2289 01:34:14,300 --> 01:34:18,565 ♪ Comes a way to make it right 2290 01:34:18,696 --> 01:34:19,479 - Fuck you! [Lexi grunting] 2291 01:34:19,610 --> 01:34:21,525 ♪ Reach down deep into your soul ♪ 2292 01:34:21,656 --> 01:34:22,439 [snake hissing] 2293 01:34:22,569 --> 01:34:25,442 ♪ And stand up to the fight 2294 01:34:25,572 --> 01:34:26,399 [both screaming] 2295 01:34:26,530 --> 01:34:27,139 ♪ You are strong - No! 2296 01:34:27,270 --> 01:34:28,445 [snake cracking] 2297 01:34:28,575 --> 01:34:30,099 Ah! 2298 01:34:30,229 --> 01:34:31,796 ♪ And she came out long [both grunting] 2299 01:34:31,927 --> 01:34:34,451 [punches thudding] 2300 01:34:34,581 --> 01:34:38,498 ♪ If you feel you're heart is breaking ♪ 2301 01:34:38,629 --> 01:34:40,065 - I trusted you! 2302 01:34:40,196 --> 01:34:41,676 You're supposed to be my friend! 2303 01:34:41,806 --> 01:34:43,155 [Lexi screaming] 2304 01:34:43,286 --> 01:34:44,809 ♪ When the world is 2305 01:34:44,940 --> 01:34:47,246 [both screaming] 2306 01:34:47,377 --> 01:34:49,727 ♪ It feels so hard 2307 01:34:49,858 --> 01:34:51,511 - [Lexi] I'm tired of being bullied. 2308 01:34:51,642 --> 01:34:53,165 ♪ If you believe that you can make it ♪ 2309 01:34:53,296 --> 01:34:55,211 - [Lexi] Just die already. 2310 01:34:55,341 --> 01:34:56,386 [bite crunching] [Lexi screaming] 2311 01:34:56,516 --> 01:34:58,214 - [screaming] My titty! 2312 01:34:58,344 --> 01:35:01,260 [Gloria grunting] 2313 01:35:01,391 --> 01:35:03,306 ♪ Dance 2314 01:35:05,743 --> 01:35:09,051 - I'm gonna give you something to fuckin' remember me by! 2315 01:35:09,181 --> 01:35:09,965 [gun firing] 2316 01:35:10,095 --> 01:35:11,749 - No, no! 2317 01:35:11,880 --> 01:35:14,883 - By the way I always hated that dress. 2318 01:35:26,242 --> 01:35:30,986 [insects chirping] [tense music] 2319 01:35:41,910 --> 01:35:44,695 [Cassie screaming] 2320 01:35:55,662 --> 01:35:57,447 - [Cassie] Help! 2321 01:35:57,577 --> 01:35:58,317 - [Casey] Cassie! 2322 01:35:58,448 --> 01:35:59,405 - [Cassie] I'm down here. 2323 01:35:59,536 --> 01:36:01,886 - Do not move, do not move a muscle. 2324 01:36:02,017 --> 01:36:05,194 I'll be down there in just a second, okay? 2325 01:36:05,324 --> 01:36:06,499 - [Cassie] Help. 2326 01:36:07,587 --> 01:36:09,415 - Gimme your hand. 2327 01:36:09,546 --> 01:36:11,766 Help me down and we'll go get her. 2328 01:36:11,896 --> 01:36:12,723 [rifle thudding] 2329 01:36:12,854 --> 01:36:15,552 [Casey screaming] 2330 01:36:17,293 --> 01:36:19,425 Cassie, hold on, I'm coming. 2331 01:36:22,254 --> 01:36:24,735 [rifle firing] 2332 01:36:27,433 --> 01:36:29,479 Fran, what the hell are you doing? 2333 01:36:29,609 --> 01:36:32,656 - What the hell does it look like I'm doing, boy? 2334 01:36:32,787 --> 01:36:34,701 Tying up some loose ends. 2335 01:36:36,094 --> 01:36:37,879 With you out of the way, I'll be able to collect 2336 01:36:38,009 --> 01:36:39,794 that $10 million all for myself. 2337 01:36:39,924 --> 01:36:40,707 - [Cassie] I don't wanna fall. 2338 01:36:40,838 --> 01:36:41,839 [rifle firing] 2339 01:36:41,970 --> 01:36:44,494 [rocks clattering] 2340 01:36:44,624 --> 01:36:46,452 - Fran, stop! [Bigfoot growling] 2341 01:36:46,583 --> 01:36:49,586 [upbeat country music] 2342 01:36:49,716 --> 01:36:51,849 - Oh, you want some of this? 2343 01:36:52,981 --> 01:36:54,243 Well, come on and get you some. 2344 01:36:54,373 --> 01:36:57,376 [rifle firing] 2345 01:36:57,507 --> 01:36:59,204 [punches thudding] [Bigfoot grunting] 2346 01:36:59,335 --> 01:37:04,035 [Fran grunting] [lively country music] 2347 01:37:06,951 --> 01:37:09,562 [Fran screaming] 2348 01:37:09,693 --> 01:37:14,437 [punch thudding] [both grunting] 2349 01:37:20,617 --> 01:37:22,227 [explosion booming] 2350 01:37:22,358 --> 01:37:24,839 [Fran grunting] 2351 01:37:35,284 --> 01:37:38,200 - Pastor Evans, what the hell are you doing here? 2352 01:37:38,330 --> 01:37:39,636 Aw, man, these pants are wet. 2353 01:37:39,766 --> 01:37:40,680 Is this piss? 2354 01:37:40,811 --> 01:37:42,465 - I am on vacation. 2355 01:37:42,595 --> 01:37:45,816 - I can't find the gerbil anywhere. 2356 01:37:45,947 --> 01:37:47,862 - Aw, you two are freaks! 2357 01:37:52,214 --> 01:37:55,391 [four-wheeler rumbling] 2358 01:37:59,047 --> 01:38:01,223 - I think Bigfoot just stole our four-wheeler. 2359 01:38:01,353 --> 01:38:04,443 [four-wheeler revving] 2360 01:38:13,322 --> 01:38:15,846 [Fran shouting] 2361 01:38:20,198 --> 01:38:21,243 - [Fran] Stop! 2362 01:38:22,461 --> 01:38:23,985 - What happened to you, boy? 2363 01:38:24,115 --> 01:38:26,204 - Man, I just need to get outta here. 2364 01:38:26,335 --> 01:38:29,207 [children screaming] 2365 01:38:30,295 --> 01:38:32,819 [Fran grunting] 2366 01:38:37,302 --> 01:38:38,608 [punches thudding] 2367 01:38:38,738 --> 01:38:41,611 [whistle whistling] 2368 01:38:55,364 --> 01:38:56,495 [fire extinguisher clanging] 2369 01:38:56,626 --> 01:38:58,976 [tense music] 2370 01:39:11,728 --> 01:39:14,774 [plank thudding] 2371 01:39:14,905 --> 01:39:18,430 [truck rumbling] 2372 01:39:18,561 --> 01:39:23,305 [metal clanking] [lively country music] 2373 01:39:33,010 --> 01:39:35,534 [air whooshing] 2374 01:39:41,584 --> 01:39:43,325 [air whooshing] 2375 01:39:43,455 --> 01:39:46,023 [truck rumbling] 2376 01:39:49,331 --> 01:39:49,940 [metal clanking] [Fran grunting] 2377 01:39:50,071 --> 01:39:50,810 [tense music] 2378 01:39:50,941 --> 01:39:53,726 [punches thudding] 2379 01:39:57,730 --> 01:40:00,255 [pipe clanking] 2380 01:40:01,778 --> 01:40:04,085 [Fran screaming] 2381 01:40:04,215 --> 01:40:07,001 [punches thudding] 2382 01:40:12,832 --> 01:40:17,576 [Fran grunting] [shovel thudding] 2383 01:40:37,118 --> 01:40:39,946 [shovel clattering] 2384 01:40:44,125 --> 01:40:46,823 [dramatic music] 2385 01:40:50,261 --> 01:40:51,175 - [Casey] Cassie, are you okay? 2386 01:40:51,306 --> 01:40:52,046 - [Cassie] Yes. 2387 01:40:52,176 --> 01:40:54,091 - [Casey] Okay. 2388 01:40:54,222 --> 01:40:57,616 - My fingers are slipping. - Hold on, hold on tight. 2389 01:40:57,747 --> 01:41:00,663 [Casey grunting] 2390 01:41:00,793 --> 01:41:03,187 All right. [Cassie grunting] 2391 01:41:03,318 --> 01:41:05,885 [Casey grunting] 2392 01:41:06,016 --> 01:41:06,886 All right, grab on. 2393 01:41:07,017 --> 01:41:08,236 - [Cassie] Okay. 2394 01:41:10,542 --> 01:41:12,805 - You mean you ain't fell yet? 2395 01:41:15,156 --> 01:41:16,635 Let me help you out. 2396 01:41:18,594 --> 01:41:20,987 [rock thudding] [Fran grunting] 2397 01:41:21,118 --> 01:41:21,858 - Fran! 2398 01:41:24,904 --> 01:41:26,254 - All right, Ernie. 2399 01:41:26,384 --> 01:41:27,820 It's what you want. 2400 01:41:29,257 --> 01:41:30,997 [Fran grunts] [lighthearted country music] 2401 01:41:31,128 --> 01:41:33,652 [Fran shouting] 2402 01:41:35,306 --> 01:41:36,525 Yeah! 2403 01:41:36,655 --> 01:41:39,876 That is how Fran Andersen messes with Bigfoot! 2404 01:41:41,182 --> 01:41:44,881 [kick clanging] [Fran shouting] 2405 01:41:45,011 --> 01:41:46,752 [Fran shouting] 2406 01:41:46,883 --> 01:41:50,321 [punches thudding] [Bigfoot and Fran grunting] 2407 01:41:50,452 --> 01:41:51,583 [glass tinkling] [Fran grunting] 2408 01:41:51,714 --> 01:41:54,195 [eerie music] 2409 01:41:56,675 --> 01:41:59,113 [Fran panting] 2410 01:42:01,463 --> 01:42:02,159 Come on. 2411 01:42:04,379 --> 01:42:05,815 Come on, sir. 2412 01:42:05,945 --> 01:42:06,685 Come on. 2413 01:42:06,816 --> 01:42:09,601 [Bigfoot grunting] 2414 01:42:12,735 --> 01:42:13,910 [both grunting] 2415 01:42:14,040 --> 01:42:15,172 - Yeah, ha! 2416 01:42:15,303 --> 01:42:16,956 Fooled ya, heffer! 2417 01:42:17,087 --> 01:42:18,219 Yeah. 2418 01:42:18,349 --> 01:42:20,177 You wanna get you some of that, son? 2419 01:42:20,308 --> 01:42:20,960 [Bigfoot growling] 2420 01:42:21,091 --> 01:42:21,831 - Come on. 2421 01:42:23,311 --> 01:42:28,098 [kicks thudding] [both grunting] 2422 01:42:40,719 --> 01:42:43,200 [Fran grunting] 2423 01:42:44,723 --> 01:42:47,204 [both grunting] 2424 01:42:48,814 --> 01:42:53,297 [punches thudding] [wind whistling] 2425 01:42:53,428 --> 01:42:56,082 [bodies thudding] 2426 01:43:00,261 --> 01:43:02,698 [somber music] 2427 01:43:07,790 --> 01:43:10,271 [Fran farting] 2428 01:43:12,838 --> 01:43:14,013 - [Cassie] Oh my gosh, I wanna go home, Dad. 2429 01:43:14,144 --> 01:43:16,538 - It's over all right. 2430 01:43:16,668 --> 01:43:18,888 I'm gonna get you outta here. 2431 01:43:20,542 --> 01:43:22,457 Hold on tight, all right? 2432 01:43:41,563 --> 01:43:42,999 - No, Daddy, don't! 2433 01:43:44,305 --> 01:43:45,871 He's here to help us. 2434 01:44:01,713 --> 01:44:04,716 [wedding march music] 2435 01:44:13,899 --> 01:44:15,249 - [Gloria] Seriously? 2436 01:44:15,379 --> 01:44:18,991 - By the power executed in me, I now pronounce you... 2437 01:44:21,255 --> 01:44:22,952 [Gloria giggling] 2438 01:44:23,082 --> 01:44:26,695 [group clapping and cheering] 2439 01:44:28,566 --> 01:44:29,219 - [Lilly] Oh, you guys, aw. 2440 01:44:29,350 --> 01:44:30,264 - [Jamal] Ow! 2441 01:44:41,579 --> 01:44:43,320 [album screeching] 2442 01:44:43,451 --> 01:44:47,063 - This is a hospital, not a monster truck rally. 2443 01:44:47,193 --> 01:44:49,457 - Can someone please pull that plug out? 2444 01:44:49,587 --> 01:44:50,545 - Unplug me? 2445 01:44:50,675 --> 01:44:51,850 Screw you, Cory. 2446 01:44:51,981 --> 01:44:52,808 - You still wearing your sister's underwear 2447 01:44:52,938 --> 01:44:54,331 under those sheets. 2448 01:44:54,462 --> 01:44:56,725 - Well, what if I was wearing my sister's underwear? 2449 01:44:56,855 --> 01:44:57,856 They feel better. 2450 01:44:57,987 --> 01:44:59,641 - Pastor Evans just reach down there and-- 2451 01:44:59,771 --> 01:45:00,642 - Pastor, don't you dare, unplug-- 2452 01:45:00,772 --> 01:45:01,904 - My best bottle if you just-- 2453 01:45:02,034 --> 01:45:02,992 - Pastor! - Just reach down. 2454 01:45:03,122 --> 01:45:04,167 - Don't you dare. 2455 01:45:04,298 --> 01:45:05,473 Pastor. 2456 01:45:05,603 --> 01:45:07,126 Don't you dare. 2457 01:45:07,257 --> 01:45:07,953 [men grunting] 2458 01:45:08,084 --> 01:45:08,911 [Billy laughing] 2459 01:45:09,041 --> 01:45:11,261 - Here's the Bigfoot [grunts]... 2460 01:45:11,392 --> 01:45:12,828 - Oh, ah! 2461 01:45:12,958 --> 01:45:13,872 [men grunting] [woman screaming] 2462 01:45:14,003 --> 01:45:15,178 - Stop it, stop it! 2463 01:45:15,309 --> 01:45:16,527 It's coming on. 2464 01:45:16,658 --> 01:45:18,747 - What are you going on about, little boy? 2465 01:45:18,877 --> 01:45:19,487 - I'm not a boy! [lively music] 2466 01:45:19,617 --> 01:45:20,749 Bigfoot's on TV. 2467 01:45:20,879 --> 01:45:21,880 - There's no such thing as Bigfoot, you-- 2468 01:45:22,011 --> 01:45:22,751 - [Gloria] Hey! 2469 01:45:22,881 --> 01:45:23,839 Uncle Billy! 2470 01:45:23,969 --> 01:45:25,057 Language! 2471 01:45:25,188 --> 01:45:25,928 Please! 2472 01:45:31,150 --> 01:45:35,024 - Here's a frickin' Bigfoot nutsack for you, Billy. 2473 01:45:39,985 --> 01:45:40,725 [audience applauding] 2474 01:45:40,856 --> 01:45:42,074 - [Audience] Larry, Larry, 2475 01:45:42,205 --> 01:45:42,988 Larry, Larry, Larry. - Let me introduce 2476 01:45:43,119 --> 01:45:43,989 our next guest. - Larry, Larry, Larry, 2477 01:45:44,120 --> 01:45:45,643 Larry, Larry, Larry. 2478 01:45:47,123 --> 01:45:48,429 [Larry laughing] 2479 01:45:48,559 --> 01:45:49,473 - Ho ho. 2480 01:45:49,604 --> 01:45:50,692 Hey. 2481 01:45:50,822 --> 01:45:52,302 How good to see you. 2482 01:45:52,433 --> 01:45:53,477 Have a seat. 2483 01:45:53,608 --> 01:45:57,220 - [Audience] Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, 2484 01:45:57,351 --> 01:46:00,832 Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, 2485 01:46:00,963 --> 01:46:03,531 Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry. 2486 01:46:04,706 --> 01:46:06,011 - Okay, okay, okay. - Larry, Larry. 2487 01:46:06,142 --> 01:46:08,797 - Calm down, calm down. - Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry. 2488 01:46:08,927 --> 01:46:09,711 - So, tell me what it's like 2489 01:46:09,841 --> 01:46:11,974 having so many people chasing you. 2490 01:46:12,104 --> 01:46:14,019 - [Audience Member] Hey Bigfoot! 2491 01:46:14,150 --> 01:46:14,890 Squatch these! 2492 01:46:15,020 --> 01:46:17,109 [audience cheering] 2493 01:46:17,240 --> 01:46:20,461 - Well, that's a topic for another show. 2494 01:46:20,591 --> 01:46:22,245 How do you manage to stay so hidden? 2495 01:46:22,376 --> 01:46:25,204 - Actually, people find solid evidence all the time 2496 01:46:25,335 --> 01:46:26,510 but the government swoops in. 2497 01:46:26,641 --> 01:46:30,122 - Did you always manage to get away? 2498 01:46:30,253 --> 01:46:32,516 - My mother was regular human. 2499 01:46:33,865 --> 01:46:35,389 My father's, like me. 2500 01:46:37,129 --> 01:46:38,783 - [Audience Member] And what about your kids? 2501 01:46:38,914 --> 01:46:40,176 - [Audience] Boo! 2502 01:46:44,528 --> 01:46:46,400 - Okay, okay, okay. 2503 01:46:46,530 --> 01:46:48,576 Let's give him a chance to speak. 2504 01:46:48,706 --> 01:46:50,186 Go on, Jackson. 2505 01:46:50,316 --> 01:46:53,319 - Yeah, they don't want people to know 2506 01:46:53,450 --> 01:46:58,194 there's another line of humans out there living wild. 2507 01:46:58,324 --> 01:46:59,151 - What do you mean? 2508 01:46:59,282 --> 01:47:00,283 Who are they? 2509 01:47:00,414 --> 01:47:02,416 - The Government. 2510 01:47:02,546 --> 01:47:04,418 They keep all this covered up. 2511 01:47:04,548 --> 01:47:05,244 I bet this show never-- 2512 01:47:05,375 --> 01:47:07,856 [upbeat music] 2513 01:47:20,608 --> 01:47:23,698 [lively country music] 2514 01:47:27,179 --> 01:47:30,444 ♪ Would you recognize a monster by his eyes ♪ 2515 01:47:30,574 --> 01:47:32,837 ♪ Thought I would, too 2516 01:47:32,968 --> 01:47:37,015 ♪ And I spent all this time a-runnin' every lap ♪ 2517 01:47:37,146 --> 01:47:39,409 ♪ To what I would do 2518 01:47:39,540 --> 01:47:41,193 ♪ Hell, I'd take him by the tail ♪ 2519 01:47:41,324 --> 01:47:43,544 ♪ He would holler, he would wail ♪ 2520 01:47:43,674 --> 01:47:46,155 ♪ Till he called a truce 2521 01:47:46,285 --> 01:47:47,678 ♪ And I told him you were made 2522 01:47:47,809 --> 01:47:50,115 ♪ Taking you away 2523 01:47:50,246 --> 01:47:52,466 ♪ Now I know it's true 2524 01:47:52,596 --> 01:47:54,250 ♪ I was blind 2525 01:47:54,380 --> 01:47:59,124 ♪ Then I saw the human unkind come to call ♪ 2526 01:47:59,255 --> 01:48:03,955 ♪ If I had a dime for all man's many faults ♪ 2527 01:48:05,957 --> 01:48:08,960 ♪ I admit that I was wrong 2528 01:48:09,091 --> 01:48:10,658 ♪ Such a shame 2529 01:48:10,788 --> 01:48:12,181 - Goin' on here? 2530 01:48:12,311 --> 01:48:13,574 ♪ Interviewing monsters 2531 01:48:13,704 --> 01:48:15,140 ♪ Monsters 2532 01:48:15,271 --> 01:48:18,056 ♪ All along 2533 01:48:18,187 --> 01:48:19,493 [Larry screaming] 2534 01:48:19,623 --> 01:48:22,496 [audience shouting] 2535 01:48:32,680 --> 01:48:35,073 - What are you smilin' at? 2536 01:48:35,204 --> 01:48:38,294 [man on couch grunting] 2537 01:48:45,214 --> 01:48:46,781 ♪ I was blind 2538 01:48:46,911 --> 01:48:51,481 ♪ Then I saw the human unkind come to call ♪ 2539 01:48:51,612 --> 01:48:56,268 ♪ If I had a dime for all man's many faults ♪ 2540 01:48:58,444 --> 01:49:01,622 ♪ I admit that I was wrong 2541 01:49:01,752 --> 01:49:04,581 ♪ Such a shame that you're gone ♪ 2542 01:49:04,712 --> 01:49:06,104 ♪ Interviewing monsters 2543 01:49:06,235 --> 01:49:07,715 ♪ Monsters 2544 01:49:07,845 --> 01:49:11,066 ♪ All along 2545 01:49:11,196 --> 01:49:12,720 ♪ Interviewing monsters 2546 01:49:12,850 --> 01:49:14,373 ♪ Monsters 2547 01:49:14,504 --> 01:49:17,681 ♪ All along 2548 01:49:17,812 --> 01:49:19,204 ♪ Interviewing monsters 2549 01:49:19,335 --> 01:49:20,945 ♪ Monsters 2550 01:49:21,076 --> 01:49:23,339 ♪ All along165735