All language subtitles for Haul Out the Holly 2022_track3_[eng]

["O Christmas Tree" playing]

[Emily] I grew up in a very special place.

Every December, our block was transformed
into a Christmas wonderland,

and my parents started it all.

[song concludes]

[gasps] It's Christmas.

It's Christmas. Mom, Dad, wake up.

-[merry music playing]
-[young Emily] Wake up! Get up!

Where are they?

Fine. I guess I'm going to open
all the presents by myself.

Here I come.

Oh, I hope Santa came.

[gasps] He came!

-Merry Christmas, sweetie.
-Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas. Can I open my presents?
-Oh, not just now, honey. We have to go.

We have a lot to do
before the carnival this afternoon.

Yeah, but what about Christmas?

The Christmas Carnival
is Christmas, sweetie.

We have put so much work
into it to make it special--

Yeah, but you've done so much already.

But we have to salt the sidewalk,
light the lamps…

-Check on the backup generator.
-Good call.

[Gail] Come on, sweetie. Don't pout.
You know how important the carnival is.

-It's our responsibility--
-Our duty.

-Our duty.
-Yes, our duty to make it perfect.

Can I open at least one?

-Of course.
-Oh, I think I know just the one.

Here. Open this one.

Wow. A camera?

Maybe you'd like to take pictures
of everyone in all the events today

to keep a record of how happy everyone is.

You'll be our official
Christmas photographer.

Like for fun? Or for my duty?

There's no reason it can't be both, dear.

-Merry Christmas, honey.
-[chuckles] Merry Christmas.

-Let's go.
-[Gail] Okay.

-Ooh! [smooches]
-[smooches]

Get bundled up, dear.
Come on. Meet us outside.

[Emily] My parents tried their very best
to instill their Christmas spirit into me,

but when you're seven,
you have other things on your mind.

[Jared singing] ♪ Up on the housetop,
Reindeer paws ♪

♪ Out jumps good old Santa Claus ♪

[sing-song voice] You'll never guess
What he brought me this year!

-What?
-[Jared] I got

the entire Frank Gehry LEGO collection.

Who's Frank Harry?

It's Gehry.

And he's only the greatest architect
of the 20th century.

-Well, that's cool. [sighs]
-[Jared] What's wrong?

-Didn't you get anything good?
-[sighs] Just this.

-A Polaroid? Cool.
-Yeah. Wanna test it?

[polaroid shutter clicks, whirrs]

-That's so cool.
-[young Emily] Yeah.

Except my parents
are going to make me use it

to take pictures of everyone else
at the carnival.

-That sounds awesome. Can I help?
-Um, sure.

[gentle music playing]

-Can I have this?
-Well, I guess.

Let's go.

I'll help you get people together,
and you can take the picture.

It'll be fun.

Race you there.

[Emily] Every year I'm faced
with the same question,

"Is Christmas merely
the longest to-do list of all time,

or is all that work actually fun?"

Maybe this year I'll find out.

-["We Need a Little Christmas" playing]
-♪ Haul out the holly ♪

♪ Put up the tree
Before my spirit falls again… ♪

[Emily] Oh!

♪…Up the stockings ♪

Thank you so much.

♪ I may be rushing things
But deck the halls again now ♪

♪ For we need a little Christmas ♪

♪ Right this very minute
Candles in the window ♪

♪ Carols at the spinet ♪

♪ Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute ♪

♪ Hasn't snowed a single flurry… ♪

We got guys coming left.

Coming left.
You got to call them out, you guys.

Come on, they're breaking in.

-Dan?
-[Dan] Left, you guys.

-You know you got to call that out.
-Dan, what are you doing here?

Um, I live here.

[Emily] Oh, I thought you'd be at work?

-No. I took a personal day.
-Isn't this a busy season?

Yeah. That's why I get so stressed
during the holidays.

-Well, don't look. Don't look.
-Hold on, guys.

No, no, no, no. I said don't look.

That's like saying,
"Don't think of tigers."

I mean, the first thing you're gonna do…
[chuckles] …is think of tigers.

-Ugh. I wanted all this to be a surprise.
-[Dan] Wait, this is for me?

-[Emily] Yeah.
-Like all of it?

Yeah. I went a little crazy.

I know. But don't feel obligated
to go crazy on me.

-Okay. [chuckles, huffs]
-[playful music playing]

Right. [sighs] I mean, I wouldn't be…

I wouldn't be upset if you got me
something nice, but… [chuckles]

Truth be told, I'm…
I'm not that big into presents.

Getting them or just giving them?

Giving, mostly.
You remember your birthday.

Oh. Yeah. No, no. I… I remember.

I was, uh, very disappointed
and I saw that I made that point,

but it's clear
we need to have another discussion.

[Dan] Well, we already did. Remember?
You, you got really mad at me?

I said I have no idea what you like,
and you said I should figure it out.

And then I asked you for a simple list--

I'm not making a list, Dan. I'm not seven.

You said that same thing last time, too.

And that didn't have any impact on you?

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
Are we about to have another fight?

-Well, it depends. [sighs]
-Okay. Can we just skip it this time?

'Cause I'm really--
I'm not that big into fights either.

Okay. I'm gonna say it. I'm… I'm-- Yeah.
I'm gonna-- I'm just going to say it.

I… I have not been very happy
in this relationship lately, Dan.

-Okay.
-And that doesn't seem to bother you?

Oh. I don't want to break up or anything…
[chuckles] …if that's what you're saying.

Yeah, but you also
don't wanna talk about it?

-Not really, no.
-[Emily] Right. Okay.

So, then… Yeah, we're breaking up.

What? Seriously? Just like that?

Seriously. I mean, what… what…
what is there to discuss

if… if… if you won't even talk about it?

Well, I… I choose not to break up.
What about you?

No, this just isn't working.

I mean, the first couple of years
were so great, and I… I swear,

it's like this last year,
you have literally stopped trying.

-Fine. You know what? I give up.
-Case in point.

-I… I can't believe this.
-Why? It's your decision.

You used to be a lot nicer.

[laughs] Sorry.
That was the craziest deja vu moment.

My ex used to say that same thing.
It's… it's weird.

Okay. That's it.
I think you should move out.

What? No. No, no.
No. [chuckles] I'm going to stay.

What do you mean "no"?
No, I… I found this apartment.

I put the entire security deposit
down myself.

Technically, that's true.

But you remember that, that family reunion
that you had last summer that I just--

-I didn't want to go to?
-Yeah, I know.

I'm still upset
that you bailed on me for that.

I mean, my aunt Monica
doesn't even think you exist.

That's a fair complaint.
But my point is this, you may recall,

uh, that it was the same week
we had to renew the lease.

And, and so technically,

my name is the only one
on any of that paperwork now.

You wouldn't.

[Dan] I thought I was helping you out. I--

[exhales deeply]

[keys jingling]

[door unlocking, opening]

Okay, guys. I'm back. Sorry about that.

[door closing]

Oh, honey. I am so sorry.

It's okay. I mean,
it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Honestly, I don't even know
why I stayed with him this long.

Well, then I suppose it's a good thing.

Yeah, except I have to move out.

Well, where will you go now?

I don't know. I mean,
I've been looking at listings

but there isn't much available
until after the new year.

No, I mean for Christmas.
I don't suppose you're going to Dan's.

Why don't you pack up and just come home?

[Emily over laptop] Mom, no offense,

but I really don't think I can handle
an Evergreen Lane Christmas right now.

I-- I'm just gonna, uh,
use my frequent flyer miles.

I'll go somewhere warm and just relax.

No, no. That can't-- No.

-Darling, you can't. You come on home.
-[Albert speaking indistinctly]

-[playful music playing]
-You can… you can relax with us.

Your father will be so happy.

He's not too busy remodeling
Santa's workshop again?

Oh! [laughs nervously] No. Not this year.

-[laughing nervously]
-Okay. That was your nervous laugh.

-What are you hiding?
-[Gail] Oh. [chuckling nervously]

No. What are you talking about, dear?

Mom, you just did it again.
Last time you laughed like that,

I found out you got rid
of all my Beanie Babies.

Oh, no. It's nothing like that, dear.

I'm just hoping that you're doing okay
with the breakup and everything.

It's got to be hard.

[Emily over laptop] Sure. No, I'm okay.

You know what? I think it's gonna be good
to come home for a while.

Right now, I'm… I'm off until New Year's,

and I can just relax and eat
a million cookies and get some TLC.

I couldn't agree more.

It's been a long time
since you've come home for the holidays.

-It'll be so wonderful for you.
-Just do me one favor.

Please don't pressure me too much
to do all the Christmas activities.

I really don't think
I have it in me right now.

Don't worry, dear. Your father and I

will not be pressuring you
at all this year, I promise.

[Emily over laptop] All right.
Thanks, Mom.

I'm just gonna finish packing

and then I can probably
be down there by dinnertime.

-Oh! [chuckles] No. No.
-No. No. No.

-Tomorrow. Tomorrow.
-No. Tomorrow, darling.

Tomorrow. Your father and I,

we've got plans
with the Engerbretson's tonight.

So, I think it would just be better
if you came down in the morning.

-Is that okay?
-Yeah. No. It's totally fine.

I'll just lock the door
and make Dan sleep on the couch.

Probably going to be playing
some virtual ogre fighting thing--

I have no idea what he does all night.

Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

Well, I'm gonna go tell your father.
He'll be so excited.

All right. Bye, Mom.

-Bye.
-[laptop shuts]

-Are you sure this is a good idea?
-This may be our only hope.

-[exhales deeply]
-Alpha niner to Team Kringle,

-we have a code red and green.
-[military music playing]

I repeat, red and green.
All units assemble. Over.

-Okay. Break it down.
-[Gail] It's a red and green?

-Yes, it is. Get the tree.
-I've got the tree.

-I've got the tree.
-Can't you take a tree

-and pillows at the same time?
-I got the tree.

[line dialing]

[Jess over voicemail] You've reached
Jess's phone. Leave a message.

Hey, it's me.

So, believe it or not,
I am driving down Main Street.

Yep, I'm home. [sighs]
Listen, we have so much to catch up on,

but, uh, just call me
or come by whenever you can.

All right. Talk to you soon.

[Ned] Come on, guys.

If you put your backs into it,
you won't feel the cold.

-Well, they should have layered. Ugh.
-[festive music playing]

Guys, please watch the tulip beds.

-Please. They are very delicate.
-[Ned] Did you hear the lady?

[sighs] Ah, perennials.

So finicky yet so delightful.

[softly] What? Okay. All right. Go.

[Ned] Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa.

Okay, sir…

[whistles]

Okay.

-It's there.
-[Emily] Okay. Thank you.

[giggles]

Oh, hi.

Welcome home.

Proceed with phase two.
Repeat, phase two. Over.

-Oh, look. Here comes Emily.
-Ah, right on schedule.

She hasn't been home
for the holidays in years.

She doesn't have any idea, does she?

-Not a clue. [chuckles]
-Buckle up.

[playful music playing]

[car engine stalling]

There she is. There she is. [squeals]

[blows]

[Gail] Hi! Oh.

What's with the getups?

-[stutters, chuckles nervously]
-[chuckles nervously]

You're moving to Florida?

-That's the plan.
-But why?

-Well, because it's warm there.
-Uncle Dino lives there.

-We can golf year around.
-[stutters]

A bunch of my college friends
are still there.

Oh, I… I cannot believe this.

Oh, honey. It's not like we're dying.
We're just moving to Florida.

We're taking our talents to South Beach.

-But when?
-As soon as we find a place.

You mean like, online or what?

[car horn honking]

-That must be our cab to the airport.
-Airport?

You're literally leaving today?

Yes, sweetie.
Our flight leaves in three hours.

You know how your mother
needs to be early.

What's wrong with being a little early?

Nothing.
The airport is 40 minutes from here.

-If there's no traffic.
-When is there ever any traffic?

-[overlapping chatter]
-But, Mom, Mom, Mom,

you didn't think it was important
to mention to me

that you were moving to Florida
when we spoke on the phone?

Honey, we weren't talking about us.
We were focused on you,

and you said you wanted
to come home for the holidays.

-Well, here you are.
-No.

I wanted to come home to be with you guys.
Remember?

-The… the… the cookies and the TLC?
-[car door closing]

We'll be back by New Year's.

And in the meantime, you can bake cookies.
You can bake all the cookies you want.

-And the neighbors will be…
-What--

so happy to see you.

You'll get so much TLC
you won't know what to do with it.

You know what?
I'm already packed. I… I'll come with you.

Honey, we want you to be here.

You need to decompress
and take some time to yourself

-to get over the breakup with David.
-Dan.

Dan. Right. Now, what better way

than to do it right here
at the home that you grew up in?

[Emily] Yeah,
but this isn't home without you two.

Sweetie, I know it's hard,
but you'll have everything here you need.

Not the neighborhood.
I mean, the neighborhood needs you.

You guys created the HOA rules
for Christmas after all.

You can't just move to Florida…
[chuckles] …and leave everything behind.

That is ridiculous.

Your mother and I believe that Florida
is the place that needs us the most.

Some lucky HOA has a hurricane
of Christmas coming their way.

They won't know what hit them.

-[both giggle]
-Well, that's for certain.

Oh, come on, honey. Do it for us.

It would mean so much to us if we knew
you were taking care of the house.

And we don't want
to let the neighbors down.

She's right. Just think of it
as your Christmas present to us.

[exhales softly] Fine. Just promise me
you'll be back by New Year's.

-Oh, honey. Oh.
-You have our word.

-Okay, come on.
-Okay.

Try to enjoy one last Christmas
in the neighborhood.

Oh, I thought I told you that's exactly
what I was trying to avoid?

It'll be just what the doctor ordered.

Really? I think I'd like a second opinion.

Wait, where are all the decorations?
In the garage waiting for you.

-Yeah, but why aren't they up yet?
-We, uh, got a late start.

Bye, honey. Have fun.

-[car engine revving]
-Oh. Almost forgot.

See you.

[emotional music playing]

[sighs]

Hey.

-You want to ride the lightning?
-[chainsaw whizzing]

-No, I'm good.
-Party pooper.

[door knocking]

Good evening, ma'am.
My name is Jared Farnsworth.

I am looking for Emily Melrose.
Is she, uh…

-[gentle music playing]
-Is she here?

I'm standing right here.

-No.
-Do you actually not recognize me?

Well, see, that's impossible

'cause you do have
her unforgettable smile.

-[laughs]
-[Jared] But I mean,

the Emily Melrose I know
would be about, hmm, to be…

-5'7, 5'8 by now.
-You know what? It's really interesting

because I recognize the freckles
and the steel blue eyes,

but the Jared Farnsworth I remember had,
oh, legs that were as skinny as his arms.

So, you clearly can't be him.

-You win. Welcome home.
-[laughs] It's good to see you.

-You too.
-[inhales deeply] Hey.

-So, how did you know I was here?
-[sighs]

Well, that's the Evergreen way.
See, all eyes have been on you

since you passed the point
of the mountain.

-Wait, really?
-I'll never tell.

-[chuckles]
-[Emily] Oh.

Okay.

-So, are you here visiting your mom?
-Oh, I live here now. Just up the block.

Oh, you have got to tell me the truth.
How do you do it?

How do I do what?

How do you deal with everyone,
including my parents,

being so over the top
with the whole Christmas thing?

-Oh.
-[Emily] I mean, everyone is just

so gung ho with the decorations
and the activities.

And the HOA is so strict.

-[cheery music playing]
-To be honest, I love it.

And your dad has been such a mentor
to me for my first year in office--

Wait, office?

And I promise
I'm not gonna let it go to my head.

But as the newly elected
president of the HOA,

I want to formally invite you
to the kickoff to the Christmas countdown.

Is that the overly massive
tree lighting ceremony?

-Really? When's that?
-Tonight.

Oh. It's a little late in the season
to be lighting the tree, isn't it?

-I mean, Christmas is in a week.
-Rest assured, I have my reasons.

Uh, scheduling with this many
board members is no easy feat.

In fact, I still don't know
how your dad did it with such…

[inhales sharply]

-…perfect balance, so…
-[clicks tongue] Well.

Anyway, can you come?

You know what,
I just remembered I have plans.

I'm seeing Jess Woolley. You know her.

-Oh, yeah.
-She married Kevin Van Orden

and they have this adorable
little girl now.

Yeah, Jess, '80s retro,
always wears a beanie, cool mom.

That's oddly specific.

Oh, and her daughter loves
that Darla-Do-Good doll.

All right. You're scaring me.
How do you know all this?

I call it the Santa sense.

That, and they're headed up the walkway.
[clears throat]

[playful music playing]

-[Emily] Hi.
-Hi!

-You made it.
-Aunt Emily.

-Hey there. Come here.
-Jared Farnsworth?

-Yeah. Well…
-[Jess chuckles]

-Oh. Hey!
-[Jess sighs] Hey! [chuckles]

-Hmm.
-Hi, Darla. Good to see you.

-Um, what… what is going on here?
-Well, Emily just informed me

that you guys won't be able to attend
the Christmas tree lighting.

-I want to go.
-Yeah, so do I.

[hesitates] Um, okay. I guess
we'll be seeing you there after all.

I sensed that was coming. [chuckles]
See you guys tonight.

Is that an invitation
to the tree lighting?

No. It's a notice
for insufficient Christmas decor.

-What--
-Oh. Welcome back to Evergreen Lane.

[playful music playing]

I still can't believe
you live on Evergreen Lane.

Well, I don't live here,
but I grew up here.

Hey, are you sure you're okay
staying here by yourself?

-'Cause you can always crash with us.
-[Emily] I'm fine.

Besides, my parents want me
to look after the house anyway.

And… [inhales deeply] …I think
it'll be good to spend some time by myself

and try and figure out why I spent
the last three years of my life with Dan

knowing that our relationship
had no future.

Because he was nice at the beginning.

But honestly I think the jerk in him
was just waiting to come out.

-[Emily clicks tongue] I know.
-You really dodged a bullet there.

And yet I still got wounded.
[breathes deeply] You know what I need?

-I need to just take a bunch of hot baths…
-Mm-hmm.

…I need to sleep in
till ten o’clock every morning,

-Mm.
-…and sit in front of that fireplace

in my cozy pajamas,
and watch Christmas movies on repeat.

-Yes. That sounds perfect.
-I think they're about to start.

-You guys want to go?
-Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

Emily Melrose? [gasps]
What a wonderful surprise.

Hi, Belinda, Mary Louise, Bob.
You guys remember my best friend, Jess.

And this is her daughter, Nicole.

-Hi.
-We're so glad you could make it.

-[chuckles]
-Well, Jared invited us.

-He's an architect.
-And a darn good one.

-[Mary Louise] And handsome, too.
-Uh-huh.

Stop, you two. The last thing Emily needs
is a couple of matchmakers.

I thought she just got dumped
by that loser boyfriend of hers.

First of all, I dumped him, Bob.
And second of all, how did you hear that?

Belinda, of course.
She always spills the tea.

I'm so sorry. Your mother
made it seem like it wasn't a secret.

Oh. That checks out. [sighs]
You know what? She's right.

I don't have anything to hide,

but I do want to just kind of fly
a little under the radar this Christmas,

if you know what I mean.

Good luck with that.

Hmm. Well, we'll see you at the tree.

-Mm-hmm.
-[chuckles nervously]

[Emily] Come on. Let's go see that tree.

[crowd applauding, cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

It is December, and as you all know,
we gather to light the neighborhood tree.

-[crowd member] Whoo!
-And I am very sorry to say

that we're a little late this year.

-A little? A couple of weeks.
-Stop.

We talked about this, Ned.

It was the best time for everyone,
so thank you for that.

[Ned] I've been free
for the last two weeks.

You've been free since the 80's, okay?

-Go ahead, Jared, please.
-[clears throat] Anyway.

Uh, I want to thank all of you
for your efforts, your energy this year.

One announcement
that I have to make, though,

it's the first time in the history
of the HOA's 30-year existence

we will not see Gail and Albert Melrose.

[crowd] Aw.

But their daughter, Emily,
has come home for the holidays.

So, everyone say hi to Emily.

[crowd cheering, applauding]

Oh. Reminds me. Quick announcement.
There will be an HOA meeting at 8:00 a.m.

Uh, can you fill in for your folks?

-What-- Me?
-We'll call at 7:45.

[hesitates] Yeah. Okay. [stutters] Yeah.

Perfect. Emily Melrose,
ladies and gentlemen.

-[crowd cheering]
-Love it.

So much for sleeping in.

-[Jared] All right, everybody.
-[chuckles]

-You know what this is.
-[crowd chuckling]

Without further ado… Five, four…

-[crowd] Three, two, one.
-[merry music playing]

[crowd member] Light her up.

-[crowd] Aw.
-[indistinct chatter]

Jared.

-Come on.
-No, no.

Is it broken?

-Ned, you said this worked.
-It worked when I did it.

Okay. Ned, let it--
It's going to be fine, everybody.

-I'm sure it'll be fine.
-It's not going to work.

[both mumbling]

You know, this never happened
when your parents were in charge.

I don't want to blame you but I am.

[both mumbling]

[crowd] Ah, ah!

-[joyful music playing]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]

Merry Christmas Evergreen Lane.

Yes.

♪ Deck the porch with my fair iceman ♪

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
-[chainsaw revvs, stops]

♪ No one makes him fast as I can
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ First, the head and then the shoulders ♪

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
-[chainsaw whirring]

-[Ned continues singing]
-[whizzing continues]

-[whimsical music playing]
-What?

[singing continues]

Ugh.

[Ned] ♪ La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la ♪

[Emily groans]

[gentle music playing]

[birds chirping]

[smacks lips, sighs softly]

What?

[playful music playing]

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

[cup thuds]

[door creaking open]

Hi, 9-1-1? Yes.

I'd like to report a very strange man
wandering around my property.

Oh, I'm not strange.
And you're not on with 9-1-1.

No, but I will be if you don't tell me
what you're doing here.

[clears throat]

[inhales deeply]
I'm just checking out some stuff.

What kind of stuff? HOA stuff?

Yeah. How'd you guess?

'Cause my dad used to sneak around
people's houses

looking for violations too.

Such a legend.

What does the HOA think
about noise levels in the morning?

We actually have a very strict policy.
Nothing above 90 decibels before 9:00 a.m.

Okay, so it's 7:30.

Oh, every week except the week
before Christmas so…

Oh. Well, that figures.
All right, so what'd you find?

Everything is very detailed
on that notice I left you last night.

You mean the notice that was intended
for my parents to handle?

They're out of town so, uh,
everything kind of falls on you.

Jared, are you serious?

"Bylaw 25.12,
if the owners are not present

or otherwise incapacitated,
they may nominate a surrogate

or next of kin
to fulfill all holiday obligations."

Read up on that, buttercup.
This one's for you.

Okay. Now, see, that's the thing.

I came here to get away
from any and all obligations.

That puts me in quite the pickle.
[chuckles]

See, everyone takes Christmas
very, very seriously around here.

Maybe you can tell them
at the meeting because, you know,

I told them you would be there,
so, yep. [exhales deeply]

Well-- Because I was pressured
to say yes in front of the whole town.

Not cool.

Emily. Emily.

Emily, wait, I'm sorry. You're right.
I shouldn't have done that.

-Can we just talk about it?
-What do you mean, talk about it?

That thing that two people do
when they want to solve a problem, right?

Okay. You know what?
Great. Let's talk about it.

I think Christmas
should be about having fun.

I don't think it should be
about attending HOA meetings

or writing citations.

In fact, I think the word "bylaw" itself

should be banned
for the entire month of December.

So, can you please just let me enjoy
the holiday in my own way?

[exhales sharply] You're right.

You're right. It's… it's Christmastime.

It's hardly the time to think
about the wants and needs of others.

[sighs]

[Jared] ♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree ♪

Could you just go away?

There is no bylaw against early caroling
here on Evergreen Lane.

-In fact, it's encouraged.
-Well, can you make an exception, please?

♪ On the second day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love gave to me
Two turtle doves ♪

♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪

♪ On the third day of Christmas ♪

♪ My true love gave to me
Three French hens, two turtle doves ♪

♪ And a partridge in… ♪

Fine. You win.

I'll go to the meeting
if you promise to not sing that song

for the rest of the week
or the rest of my life, ever.

Okay.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[joyful music playing]

[huffs] So, the word on the street
is you're an architect.

That's right.

-What kind?
-House remodels, mostly.

Did you remodel your house?

I did for absolute, optimal holiday cheer.

-Even put in an extra wide fireplace.
-Why extra wide?

Santa, of course. [chuckles]

-Oh.
-What do you do?

I am a freelance copy editor.

That makes sense.
You were always a great writer.

In fact, do you remember in fifth grade,
you wrote a story about a little girl

who asked Santa
for it to be Christmas every day?

-Wait, you remember that?
-[Ned] Pick up the pace, you lollygaggers.

Come on. T-minus two minutes and counting.
Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

-Got to love his enthusiasm.
-Yeah. His aim isn't bad either.

Let's just, um…

[Jared] All right, team. Listen up.

We have six days until Christmas,

and as you can see,
lots of fun still to be had.

Now I just want to make sure
our event managers

are up to speed on what they need to do.

Now, first off, let's see.
Christmas cookie contest this afternoon.

-Check.
-Check. Thank you, Mom.

Uh, hot chocolate
prepped for the visitors?

-You know this.
-Mm.

-Uh, trophy for the winner?
-Locked and loaded.

But I don't know
why we don't just give it to her now--

Don't be hasty, Ned. It's anyone's game.

Lastly, we have the illustrious
Snowman Tableau.

Now we know that Gail and Albert
are down in Florida,

so we may need someone
to fill in for them.

Why don't we have Emily do it?
That way it can stay in the family.

-Oh. That's a wonderful idea.
-No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Well, hold on.
Let's see what Emily has to say.

-Emily, what… what do you think?
-I'm just a little confused.

It's an exhibition of frozen humanity
followed by a no-rules snowball fight.

-What's to explain?
-[Emily] No.

I'm well aware of what the event entails.
I still have slight hearing loss

from the time I took a shot
to the eardrum in 2012.

You said you forgave me.

Say it louder, Ned. That might be the ear.

-You said you forgave me.
-Right.

What I'm confused about is why my parents

didn't find someone to cover this
if they knew they were going out of town.

-[Jared] Yeah, well. Uh…
-[Belinda clears throat]

-What?
-[Jared] You know what?

I'm sure they could walk you through it.
I mean, you have plenty of time.

-How much?
-Thirty-six hours.

Plenty of time?
That sounds like slight hyperbole.

You do have to enter the cookie contest,

and your house still needs to be decorated
to code, so, yeah.

Hmm, maybe you're right.

I actually don't have to do any of this.

-[Mary Louise laughs] Oh! Okay.
-Oh…

Is it me
or did it just get really hot in here?

We don't want you to miss out
on any of the fun, Emily.

Wait a minute.

Why don't Pamela and Emily
co-manage the event?

[snickers]

You know what? I'll just do it by myself.

-That'll be so much easier.
-Oh. I'm totally fine with that.

-That's… that's a great idea.
-Great.

No, then Emily wouldn't
have the satisfaction of participating.

I think co-managers is a great idea.

I feel like I finally know
what the FOMO feels like.

-Huh! You guys are gonna have a blast.
-You know what? Can you define "FOMO"?

Fear of making out.

[Pamela] Sorry about that, Bob.

Oh. Please let it be the one

where she finds out
her boyfriend is actually a prince.

[cellphone ringing]

Oh.

-[video call chimes]
-Hi, Mom.

-Hi, sweetie.
-Hiya, sweetie.

Are you guys on a golf cart?

-Your father's driving.
-We're between holes.

Ooh. Who's winning?

-I don't want to talk about it.
-How are you?

I'm okay. [sighs]
But why didn't you tell the HOA

to have someone else
run the Snowman Tableau?

-Uh… Must've slipped my mind.
-Fell through the cracks, I guess.

Uh-huh. Well, they've assigned it to me,

and they also want me to decorate
the house, and bake cookies.

That sounds like a perfect Christmas.

Yeah, maybe in some alternate universe

where I wasn't ditched by my parents
for the Sunshine State.

Oh, come on, honey. It sounds so harsh
when you say it like that.

Well, how do you think I feel?

I mean, I feel like I'm in Home Alone 4.
Stuck in the suburbs.

Don't be so dramatic.
I'm sorry about the decorating.

But you did say
you wanted to bake cookies.

No. I said I wanted to eat cookies.
A lot of them.

-Then make extra.
-[Albert] Please, Emily.

At least try to get a baseline
of decorations up at the house.

Our family has a reputation to uphold.

All right. Fine. I'll do it.
I'll do my best for you guys.

There's my girl.

All right. I'm just a little worried
that my best is not going to be up to par.

Don't worry.
Neither is your father's golf score.

-Ooh.
-I told you. I will turn it

-around on the back nine.
-Sure you will.

-That's what you said yesterday.
-We agreed. No put-downs.

You guys, I need help, remember?
Me. Help. Please.

There's a checklist on my desk.
That should get you right on track.

[Gail] Have fun, honey.
Don't you dare go first…

-[Albert] Goodbye.
-…I am the wolf, still!

[Albert]
Wolf schmoolf. Come on.

-[phone beeps off]
-[scoffs, sighs] Oh, goodness.

[gasps] Oh, it's the one in Vienna.
I love this guy.

-[door knocking]
-[gentle music playing]

[Jared whistles]

Uh, hold up. Is this another warning?

No. Absolutely not. It's not a warning.
That's a full-on citation.

-For what?
-Violation of the nutcracker code.

-It's in your handbook, section 1-5904--
-Oh, yeah. I must have skimmed that part.

[exhales sharply]

Every front porch must have a nutcracker
by December 19th, which was yesterday.

And I'm giving you
a bit of wiggle room here.

And I don't want to say
it's getting ridiculous--

Okay. I didn't even know
about the nutcracker code.

It's in your handbook.

-One second.
-I'll wait.

Yeah, just… just a sec.

[door closes]

We good?

[exhales sharply]

[breathes heavily]
It is illegal to rip up a citation.

Also, your nutcracker needs
to be 36 inches from shoe to chapeau.

Oh, from shoe to chapeau.
Is that in the handbook too?

No. It's my own little flourish.

[page rips]

Okay. So, what is the penalty
for these citations?

That's up to the HOA president. Me.
It should be proportional to the offense.

-So, what do I get for no nutcracker?
-Well, that's known as a fix-it ticket.

And, uh, you get a taller nutcracker
and I will personally tear that up.

-And what about the one that I ripped up?
-About two hours community service.

You can start by helping Mary Louise
and Bob with their lawn display.

[soft tense music playing]

[Jared] Hey there, Bob.

Okay. All righty, then.

[Jared clears throat]

[merry music playing]

So, what was wrong with this spot
for Dasher and Dancer?

Oh, nothing.
I… I just wanted a second opinion.

Oh, okay. Well, would it be all right
if I maybe stake down

the rest of the reindeer in the meantime?

Well, if Dasher and Dancer move,

-everything's going to change.
-Oh. Excellent point.

-[Mary Louise] Well…
-[Emily] Okay.

The cookies are in the oven,
and, uh, where were we, Bob?

-Uh, Dasher and Dancer. [chuckles]
-Ah, okay. Um…

-Honey, a little… a little to the right.
-Okay.

Okay. And… and a little forward. Yeah.
And then a little to the right.

Yeah. And now to the left.

-Okay.
-[Mary Louise] To the left. To the left.

-[grunts] Oh, boy.
-To the left.

Sorry, just a sec. [chuckles] Whoa!

-What do you think, Bob?
-About what?

[splutters, sighs]

-Well, what do you think?
-Oh.

It's perfect.

-Thank you.
-[clicks tongue] Aw. Happy to help.

Really? I thought Jared cited you
with community service.

True, but you know what?
It was a pleasure.

We'll thank Jared later.
He's an architect, you know.

-That has been mentioned. Yes.
-Mm-hmm.

And you let us know if you need
any help with your decorations.

You know what? I had a question.
Did my parents

really not put up any decorations?

-Well, as a matter of fact--
-Bob doesn't remember. Do you, Bob?

Um… [sighs, chuckles nervously]
She… she's right. I… I don't remember.

-[stutters] Neither of us do.
-Okay.

All right. WelI, I…
I got to go bake some cookies, so.

See you later.

[exhales deeply]

Stop mentioning Jared.
You're gonna jinx it.

Ugh. I can't believe we have less
than two hours to finish these.

I should have started this
before you guys came over.

[door bell ringing]

-Oh, what is it now?
-Go on. We can mix the batter.

Okay. Uh, the sugar is right there
in the medium canister.

Got it. Ready to make some cookies?

-Yep.
-Mm-hmm.

-Pamela. What's up? [chuckles nervously]
-Hmm.

Uh… Um…

I was wondering when you'd like to meet
to plan the Snowman Parade.

Right. Uh… how about, um, later tonight?

No.

No.

I never plan anything
after the cookie contest.

Oh. Okay. Why not?

If I lose, I will be in no condition
to do anything.

-Good for you for being honest.
-But I've never lost.

Right. No. Of course. So, uh, if you win--

-"If"? If I win? [scoffs]
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

-No, I mean, when--
-Okay. Don't jinx me.

-Right.
-[shushes]

-Just-- But I--
-Please?

-[Emily] I was just gonna--
-Mm.

[Emily smacks lips] How about
when the whole thing's over? You know,

-we'll just check in with each other.
-[Pamela] Uh-huh.

Right? And we'll see
if you're in a happy place.

And if you are, then we could meet up.
[chuckles softly]

[hesitates] How… how does that sound?

It's fine.

Okay. Whew. Good.
Okay. I'll see you there.

Great.

-Your nutcracker's too short.
-I'm aware.

[playful music playing]

So, what are you gonna do
after the holiday?

I don't know. I'll probably
just camp out here until I find a place.

I'm sure my parents
would love having me around.

Mm. Well, so would a certain
HOA president.

-What-- Oh, give me a break.
-[Jess] What?

I saw the way he was looking at you
at the tree lighting.

What? Come on.

Like you were the only woman
on Evergreen Lane.

-She's right. I noticed it too.
-[chuckles]

Wow. I didn't even know
you were listening.

[whispering] She is always listening.

[indistinct chatter]

[merry music playing]

[Emily] I'm out of my league.

How could you know it was gonna be
The Great British Bake Off?

Oh, it's always this crazy.

These folks don't understand
the meaning of the word "amateur."

Well, don't feel bad.
I am sure that these hold up.

-Yuck.
-Nicole. [huffs softly]

I'm sure that it's fine. Hmm.

Mm. Are you sure that it was sugar
in the medium canister?

[coughs]

My mom doesn't label the jars.

Is that a Salt Lake specialty? [laughs]

-Oh-ho.
-[coughs]

The classic.

Did you know
that English shortbread is the forerunner

of the modern American sugar cookie?

Okay. There's another school… [sniffs]

…that says it goes back
to Mesopotamia 2000 years ago.

But I am not of that school.

[sniffs] This was originally
formulated in Sussex

by the chef de cuisine of the Archduke--

-Sorry. Are, are you allergic to nuts?
-No.

-Milk?
-[Ned] No.

-Shellfish?
-No.

-What are you allergic to?
-Sulfites.

[gasps] Bummer.
Sulfites were the secret ingredient.

-And a lot of salt.
-[Jess] Nicole.

I--

-[sighs]
-Mom, can I have a real cookie?

-Yes, please do.
-[Emily] You should.

-Mm. Divine.
-Can I have a bite? Thank you.

-It looks really good.
-Sorry.

It's okay.

All right, everybody. It's time.

[all cheering, applauding]

Okay. You all brought your a-game,
but the votes are in.

And I know it was hard
to choose a favorite

from among so many glorious recipes,

but we do have to crown a winner
for this year's Christmas cookie contest.

Ring-a-ding-ding, baby. It's game time.

[exhales sharply]

Third place goes to Ned Broadhead.

-Yeah, me. Oh, me. Oh.
-[all cheering, applauding]

-Oh, oh, oh. Oh! I did it. I did it.
-Yes. The third place.

That seems right. Third.

Spicy gingersnaps were a first for me.
What was the secret ingredient?

-Nepalese ghost peppers, baby.
-[Belinda] That'd do it.

-All right. Second place.
-[Jared clapping]

We never want second.

-Missy Cartwright. [laughs]
-[all cheering, applauding]

[Belinda] For her sumptuous
and rich eggnog truffles.

But the winner, first place, once again
for her perfect pecan stockings

-is Pamela Bevans.
-[cries]

-[cries] Oh, my God. Thank you.
-[all cheering, applauding]

[cries] Oh, thank you.
[breathes heavily] Oh…

Would you like to say a few words?

-[cries] Yeah. [sobs] I am just really--
-[Belinda] Oh…

-[cries indistinctly]
-Let's keep her hydrated, shall we?

Okay. Um, thanks for coming, everyone.

I hope you saved
some Christmas cookies for Santa

'cause he'll be here in six days.

-[all cheering, applauding]
-Yes! [grunts]

-Sorry.
-It's all right.

[grunts, laughs]

-[giggles]
-Never seen anything like that?

-[laughs]
-Oh, look.

[Emily] Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
I never stood a chance, did I?

[Jess] No.

Whoa. [stutters] Pamela, hi.

-Congratulations.
-Thank you.

I am now prepared to confirm
our planning meeting for later today.

Oh, good.
Are, are you sure you're okay, though?

'Cause you seemed kind of emotional.

I have no idea what you're talking about.
Besides, victory gives me purpose.

Okay, then. All right.
How about, um… I don't know.

What time works for you this evening?

Well, I feel it's best to take advantage
of the daylight hours.

We don't want to appear like a couple
of lackadaisical Leslies, do we?

Oh. Quite the contrary.

You know, I had some, uh,
Christmas stuff that I was going to do,

Christmas activities.

But, uh, why don't we say around 4:00?

-[tense music playing]
-Okay.

I'll put "around 4:00" in my calendar.

-Helen, we're leaving.
-[Helen] Yes, mom.

[Pamela] Now, Mommy's got to be
somewhere around 4:00.

-Why does she make me so nervous?
-Because she's a bona fide ice queen.

-[sighs]
-Elsa's got nothing on her.

[both snicker]

Hey. Emily, I was wondering
if I could talk to you in private.

-Sure.
-Oh! Yeah.

-I'll go find Nicole.
-[breathes deeply]

-Oh, boy. [laughs]
-[Emily] Oh, no. [chuckles]

I'm not really sure how to tell you this,

but, uh, seems like you've caused
quite a scuttlebutt.

-Scuttlebutt?
-[Jared] Mm-hmm.

-What kind of scuttlebutt?
-[Jared] Big ol' scuttlebutt.

But see, the thing is, it's like
after the Christmas tree lighting

and then the cookie contest,
um, visitors that are outside the lane…

-[scoffs]
-…they've been a little disappointed

at your lack of decorations.

-"Outside the lane"?
-[Jared] Mm.

-Really?
-Mm-hmm.

[sighs] Fine. You know what?

-I don't want to be a sore thumb.
-[Jared] Mm-mm.

And I promised my parents
I would do the minimum.

So, when can you start?

As soon as I can get the bins
off the shelves in the garage.

That's all it takes?

[Emily] Yeah.

-[military music playing]
-[walkie-talkie beeps]

Attention all available units.
Rendezvous at Melrose Manor, stat.

-Operation "Deck the Halls" is a go. Over.
-[walkie-talkie beeps]

What is happening?

[Metal rendition
of "Deck The Halls" playing]

♪ Hey, hey, hey, ho, ho, ho ♪

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly… ♪

Light 'em up.

♪ …La-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay… ♪

[Ned] Snowflakes. They're heavy.

The bells. [chuckles] They're ringing.
I don't see any smiles here.

-We're working, but we're having fun.
-What is going on here?

This is classic storage configuration.
We'll have you sorted out in no time.

♪ …La-la-la-la… ♪

-Nice.
-Last one. Great job.

I got it. I got it. Oh.

-That's the nutcracker. [grunts]
-Ooh, ooh, ooh! Thank you.

-One of the best in the neighborhood.
-Oh.

He's coming with me.

♪ …La-la-la-la… ♪

That looks great.

Thank you so much. Beautiful.

♪ …Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey… ♪

[clears throat]

I think this should bring me up to code.

[light-hearted music playing]

We'll see about that.

Go ahead.

[indistinct chatter]

Forty-two inches.
Someone's been reading their handbook.

Well, not exactly,
but it does make a good doorstop.

-[Jared] Care to do the honors?
-[breathes deeply]

[neighbors applauding]

[laughs] Nice work.

[sighs, whispering] You too.

You three.

[clicks tongue, giggles] This is amazing.
Thank you so much, everyone.

[Jared] Now all you need
is a lawn display.

You know, I have an extremely rare
taxidermy set of nine adult reindeer.

They're beautiful. You just say the word,

and I will just wrangle those puppies
out of that parking garage ASAP.

Well, as lovely as that sounds,

I… I think
you've really done enough already.

What?

Oh. No, no, no. I…
I am so grateful for your help, really.

[chuckles] So grateful. It's just, um--

[clicks tongue] You know,
I kind of need to decompress. [sighs]

-That was a lot. [chuckles]
-You sure? I mean, second wind here.

-Uh, no. [chuckles] I'm totally sure.
-You know how to find us.

Yes, I do.

-[merry music playing]
-[Emily] This is just incredible, really.

You know, it… it just reminds me

of exactly what it looked like
when I was little.

You know what,
I'd love to have you all inside

and I can make you a cup of cocoa
as a token of my appreciation…

-What just happened?
-I think it's a Christmas miracle.

-I'll take you up on that cocoa.
-But… the people-- Just--

-[Jared] It's great.
-[Emily] It's very strange.

[playful music playing]

[Jared] Santa, I am your father.

Got the hot cocoa.

[fire crackling]

[clears throat] Oh. Great.

Hey, that was really fun.

Thank you for getting everyone
to help out.

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me?
They… they wanted to do this.

-Yeah. I got a chill out there.
-[Jared] Yeah. Yeah.

This… this chair's freezing. [chuckles]
I'mma come and join you.

-[chuckles]
-Yeah.

Oh, man. [sighs]

You know, I always thought
my parents were just so pushy,

making everyone follow all of these rules
and do all of these activities.

-But…
-[Jared] Mm-hmm.

…I'm starting to realize,
I think people always wanted to.

They live for this.

Like, think about how many lives
your parents changed

by giving them these
amazing memories all these years.

-[chuckles] Yeah.
-[Jared] Speaking of which,

do you still have those old Polaroids

from me and you together
at the Christmas carnival?

Oh, they have to be here somewhere.

I mean, my parents
threw everything out that was old

-unless it was Christmas-related.
-[Jared] Right.

But, uh, I bet they're--
I bet they're stored away somewhere.

-Okay.
-I'll have to look for them.

-[chuckles]
-Yeah. [chuckles]

I've gotten pretty close with your parents
since I moved back here, and…

[breathes sharply]

…you know what they talk about
more than anything else?

-Easy. Christmas.
-No. It's, um…

It's you.

Every time I see them, it's,
"Oh, did you see that new article

that Emily edited
for that amazing magazine?"

Or, "Oh, Emily took us
to this fantastic restaurant."

-[chuckles]
-Or, "She's taking kickboxing now

-and she's a blue belt--"
-Purple belt.

-Purple belt.
-Hmm?

And they really
shouldn't have told you that.

-That is my secret superpower.
-Mm?

[smacks lips] Well, that's just the angel
on top of the Christmas tree.

-I know all the dirt.
-Really?

For instance, your favorite sandwich
is a frozen peanut butter and jelly.

-That's gross.
-You have to try it.

No. You are afraid
of basements but not attics.

I have my reasons.

Okay. Um, you were shamelessly,
unapologetically in love…

with Nickelback.

Chad Kroeger was my everything.
I mean, that hair.

Oh, you good? Did I lose you?

Yeah. No, I'm good.
But this has gotten a little strange.

-Yeah. A little bit. Well.
-You kind of know a lot about me.

Well, your parents go on and on
and on and on about you, so.

[giggles] Honestly, they go on and on
about you. The whole neighborhood does.

Well, that's nice, yeah.

When I moved here,
they did welcome me with arms wide open.

-That's Creed.
-You would know.

[both laugh]

-[sighs deeply]
-[sighs]

-Oh, no. I can't stay here.
-Yeah, I'm on fire, so.

No, no. I have to go. I totally forgot
about my meeting with Pamela.

Oh. Oh, go. I'll… I'll let myself out.

-Really? Are you sure?
-Yeah.

I'm… I'm sorry.
But I'll… I'll see you soon, right?

-Absolutely. Well, I hope so.
-Great then. Yeah, soon, soon. [chuckles]

[breathes deeply]

Ooh. Sorry about that.

[gentle music playing]

Pamela, hi. I am so sorry.

I was decorating the house
with Santa's helpers

and… and I… I just lost track of time.

-Hmm. I'll say. It's 5:23.
-I know. I'm sorry.

-We agreed on 4:00.
-We did say "around 4:00."

-Is 5:23 around 4:00?
-Well, it's better than 6:23, isn't it?

Is this the lady
that made you fill up the swear jar?

-Oh.
-[Pamela chuckles nervously]

You know what, sweetie?

Why don't you just go on inside
and play with your dolls, okay?

I… I… I brought my dad's checklist.

He used this checklist
for the event for years.

-Then you already have a roadmap.
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just that, um, I don't know
if you could see this part.

-It's three feet long.
-Yeah.

But I really think we could do it all

if we just, like, divvy it up
and we do this together.

You know what? That is a great idea.

How about you do everything on the list,
and then you tell me when you're done?

[Emily sighs] Okay.
You're still mad. I can tell.

I am so, so sorry.

But the entire neighborhood,
they all came out--

the neighborhood came out to help me,
and I just got carried away.

I was carried away
with the Christmas spirit. You know?

-Okay. Nice try.
-Wait. I'll make it up to you.

-How?
-I don't know.

Do you have any ideas?

Actually… yes.

You've got tiny, dexterous hands.
Come on in.

I need you and your cute
little baby hands to thread popcorn.

Oh, my.
That's a lot of popcorn. [chuckles]

Yeah, I need to hot glue stockings
for my daughter's Girl Scout troop.

We can go over the list
while you thread all that popcorn.

Don't move a muscle.
I'll be right back with my hot glue gun.

Don't eat it.

Okay. You know, if I'm being
completely honest,

I've always wanted to take a crack
at your dad's list.

I've just always admired
his organizational skills.

-Look at this.
-[mumbles indistinctly]

Okay, get required permit from HOA.
We can do that.

You know what, I'm gonna talk
to Oscar Parcell about the parking.

He gets-- He likes to be courted.

-Oh, okay.
-You know? I'll bring over my cookies.

He'll be great. Okay.

Pick up extra gloves
from community donation center.

We can do that.

-[Emily] Ow. Ow.
-[Pamela] Don't stop. Don't stop.

-Go through it. Push through the pain.
-[Emily] Sorry.

[Emily] Good morning.

Look who's right on time.
How are you feeling?

You know what? I woke up
with a bit of a crick in my neck.

I think I must've slept
wrong or something.

I think it's the way you were stringing
the popcorn last night.

Really? What do you mean?

Correct posture and regular
chiropractic adjustments are a must.

-I wrote my dissertation on it.
-Wait. You have a PhD?

-Wow. In what?
-Arts and crafts.

Huh.

-[Pamela] With a minor in scrapbooking.
-[Emily] Wow.

Easy.
Now, don't you break on me. I mean it.

There you go. Ah!

-Oh! That is amazing.
-And a few days late.

Perfection is worth the citation.

-Okay. Good morning, Ned.
-Good morning.

We're just going around the neighborhood

trying to get donations
for the Snowman Tableau.

Of course, of course.
Uh, what do you need?

Really, anything.

Buttons, carrots, beanies, you know,
old clothing, anything you can think of.

Oh. Oh. I've got 12 hazmat suits.

You can make a post-apocalyptic
gang of snow people.

Okay, you know what?

Just get us a few carrots
and an old beanie, Ned. Okay?

Your loss. You don't know
what you're missing.

Yeah, I do.

[scoffs]

Okay, you know what?

-That's just dangerous.
-How?

[Emily] Well, some poor kid
is gonna get his tongue stuck on that.

Why would he be licking it?

I don't know what--
I don't know how kids think.

They like to lick stuff
and eat stuff off the floor.

-Is that coal?
-Yep.

-Do you actually burn it?
-No. More of a green energy guy.

-Then why do you have coal?
-Stocking stuffers.

You mean like for the naughty kids?

[sighs] Yeah, but I don't have the heart
to put them in anyone's stocking

so I mainly just use them
as, uh, snowman eyes. [chuckles]

-And we wonder why we're single.
-[imitates whirring, robotic voice]

-Okay. Don't.
-Have you been on the naughty list?

No, I have never been on a naughty list,

-ever in my life.
-Santa says otherwise.

-He would never say--
-Are you sure?

Okay. Stop it.

-Not you. You know what--
-She seems frustrated.

All right. You know what? Fine.
We'll take it. Just put it in the wagon.

Why is she yelling at me?

-[Pamela] Stop that!
-[Emily] She yells a lot.

-I know.
-[Pamela yelling] Don't do that!

So, how long have you lived here?

-Five years in November.
-Where did you live before?

In Highland.

I would bring my daughter here
every Christmas season.

It was her favorite thing to do.

My husband, he travels a lot for work
and sometimes during the holidays,

so we would come here
to be part of a community.

Ugh. I told Ned to cut these.

That's really sweet.
Is he traveling this holiday season?

-Yes and no.
-What do you mean?

He had an unexpected trip come up

and before he could figure out
his work schedule,

all the flights back to Salt Lake
were booked solid.

It's the busiest time of the year,
you know. Holidays and ski season.

So, the earliest he can get back
is the afternoon of Christmas day.

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry.

No. It is what it is.

And at least we've got Evergreen Lane.

Hey. But-- no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?
Is that-- is that another citation?

No, no. No citation. Invitation.
It's my annual White Elephant Party.

Be warned. It can get pretty competitive.

A couple of years ago,
the police had to come break it up.

Yeah. If Ned's there,
just don't bring power tools.

Still gives me night terrors. [sighs]

-How are you doing?
-Comes and goes.

You guys did great with the donations.

-Yeah. People were really happy to help.
-Mm.

And it was nice.

Pamela and I had some really
nice quality neighbor time.

Oh, actually, we're not neighbors.
It's your parents' house.

Oh. True.

Yeah. But you know what, I didn't hate it.

-[chuckles]
-Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Uh… So, you know, I'll just go through
all the stuff and organize it in the bins.

-That way you can go be home with Helen.
-That's really nice. Okay.

Um… please keep the carrots away
from the hats and the mittens.

-Absolutely. A hundred-- Yes.
-That's a vegetable. They're fabric.

-Okay.
-100%.

-[Pamela] Oh.
-Got it.

-[Pamela] Great. [chuckling]
-Okay.

[sighs softly]

-What a 180, huh?
-Yeah. Please don't jinx it.

No. I didn't want to say this
when she was around, but, uh…

-there's your citation.
-For what?

-No lawn display.
-[Emily] I don't know if you noticed,

but I was kind of busy
fulfilling my obligation to the HOA

by collecting things
for the Snowman Tableau.

Actually, I did notice.
That's why the penalty's been reduced

to mandatory attendance
to my White Elephant party.

Oh, okay.
So, it's a party I literally can't miss.

That's an excellent way
of putting it. Yes.

[whimsical music playing]

[laughs]

-I'll help you.
-Okay.

Oh, honey, no. We don't have any.

If we kept all the lawn displays
from every year,

we wouldn't have any room
in the house for our furniture.

So, what did you do with them?

[Gail]
Your father donated them to charity.

And you bought new ones every year?

Yep. And we always had
the best ones, didn't we?

-[chuckles]
-Remember that ten-foot-tall polar bear?

Do I remember it?
That thing still gives me nightmares.

That was a classic.

Is that Jared?

-Uh, yeah. He's helping me out today.
-Hey Mr. and Mrs. Melrose.

-Oh! Hi, Jared. Oh.
-Hey, Jared.

-[gasps]
-Honey, they're hanging out together.

-Isn't that wonderful? Oh, Albert.
-it's lovely. Just lovely.

Okay. Thank you.
Thank you, anyway. We're gonna go now.

-Bye, sweetie.
-Bye.

-[kisses]
-[kisses] Have fun.

[Gail] Okay. Turn it off.

-[Albert] It's off.
-[Gail] No. All the way off, Albert.

-[Albert] It is off. Green is off.
-[Gail] It's still green. [sighs]

Honey, are you sure?
What if they can hear us?

-Last time they could hear us.
-They can't hear us because it's off.

Is that the tea kettle boiling?

-[Gail] Did I make tea?
-[Albert] You did.

Emily, I still have all the lawn displays.

What? Are you kidding me?

I can't part with those.
They're my most prized possessions.

So, where are they?

In a storage locker just outside of town.
I'll text you the information.

The key is in an empty shoe polish can
in the top drawer of my desk.

But whatever you do,
don't tell your mother.

Okay. No. No. Don't worry.

Your… your very sweet
and partially insane secret

-is safe with us.
-Taking it to my grave, sir.

Okay. Take anything you want.

And if anyone asks,
you found them at the Salvation Army.

Got it.

[Gail]
Who are you talking to?

-[huffs] And those are my parents.
-[exhales deeply] Legends.

Whoa!

It's like an episode
of Hoarders, Holiday Edition.

It's like a dream.

[playful music playing]

You know, my dad said that lawn display
was the crowning piece of decoration.

-It's got to be just right.
-Anything inspire you?

Yeah. You know what? Yes.

So, this guy is Ned, obviously.

-Of course.
-And here we have Mary Louise and Bob.

Adorable. And the elf is Pamela
always hard at work and a little intense.

And then here.

I'm Rudolph, the new kid on the block
just trying to figure everything out.

And where am I?

Give me that citation pad.

-[gasps, whispering] I'm Santa.
-Of course you are. Who else would you be?

[chuckles] Do you know
when I was a little kid,

I actually wanted to be
Santa Claus when I grew up?

Aw. Were you just heartbroken
when you found out that wasn't possible?

I have studied and researched
the Santa Clause one, two, and three.

-I am convinced it is still possible.
-[giggles]

Ho, ho, ho, everybody.

What happened here?
Did a Christmas comet land on your house?

Well, I guess you could say
I got into the spirit a bit.

Yeah, this is Clark Griswold
level decoration.

-Did you do this all by yourself?
-Mm-hmm.

-Jared helped.
-Are you her boyfriend now?

-Ooh. Uh… [stutters] No.
-Do you want to be?

[stutters] Nicole, we're just friends.

-[chuckling]
-Yeah. Friends.

That's what Hana said
when I asked her if she likes Jaden.

Then Braxton saw them holding
hands under the lunch table.

Have you guys held hands yet?

-Nope. Mm-mm.
-No.

[Kevin] Don't let her
make you feel uncomfortable.

We encourage her
to speak her mind, you know?

You see something, you say something.

[chuckles] Okay.
Well, this isn't the airport, Kevin.

-[chuckles] I'm sorry.
-[chuckles]

You don't have to answer that
if you don't want to.

Um, we made you cookies.
[chuckles] We used sugar this time.

-I hope you don't mind. [giggles]
-Oh. Nice. Good call.

Well, we could, uh, we should head inside.
Do you want to join us?

Oh, yes, it's-- See, it's against
the HOA rules for me not to, so…

-[chuckles] Yes.
-Okay.

[sighs] Ah!

Hello.

-[Jess] You know, Dasher and Dancer and--
-[Jared] Comet.

-[Nicole] Prancer.
-You're--

-You're skipping literally the only one.
-[Jared] Dancer.

-[chuckles]
-[Kevin] Oh, God. I should have got that.

Fine, big guy. Let's see what you got.

-Aw. The Christmas Carlton.
-[speaking indistinctly]

[laughing]

[Kevin] My turn, finally.
You guys ready for this?

"Do you want the moon?"

"Just say the word,
and I'll throw a lasso around it

and I'll pull it down."

-[Emily] Oh. Oh! Bing Crosby.
-[Kevin] Are you kidding?

Okay, everyone.
Welcome to the annual Snowman Tableau.

[crowd cheering, applauding]

Pamela and I are so excited
you could all make it,

and we cannot wait to see
what awesome snow people you make.

So, listen up.

We have some carrot for noses,
hats, scarves, clothes, buttons…

-Coal for eyes.
-What kind of coal is it?

Uh… the kind that comes from the ground?

No need to be childish.
All coal comes from the ground.

Is that anthracite or bituminous?

It's for snowman eyes, Ned.
Does it make a difference?

Well, maybe not to you.

Any who. Does anyone else
have any questions?

-No.
-Yes, Ned?

Can we use rebar
to ensure structural integrity?

Rebar?

Yep. Currently,
it is 41 degrees Fahrenheit,

five degrees Centigrade.

Without adequate internal support,
my design will not be able to retain--

You know what? Go nuts.

-All right, everybody. Let the fun begin.
-[crowd cheering, applauding]

["What Christmas Means to Me" playing]

♪ Candles burning low, hanging mistletoe ♪

♪ Lots of snow and ice everywhere we go ♪

♪ Choir singing carols
Right outside my door ♪

♪ All these things and more
All these things and more ♪

♪ That's what Christmas
Means to me, My love ♪

♪ That's what Christmas
Means to me, my love… ♪

Oh, about tonight's party.
Uh, there is a dress code.

Ugh. I brought everything
I own when I moved out,

so I should be covered.

Is it formal or semi-formal
or Christmas casual?

-Ugly sweater.
-Oh. Nice. Classy.

Your parents always had
the most hideous sweaters.

I have no idea where they got them.

Yeah.
Those were just their regular sweaters.

[gasps]

-Do you know what this means?
-What?

-Snowball fight!
-Snowball fight?

-Every man for himself. No rules.
-[playful music playing]

No mercy. [grunts]

-Mm!
-Fall back.

-[indistinct clamor]
-Fall back. Regroup.

Fall back. You won't live to regret this.

Yes.

-[overlapping chatter]
-[Ned] I'm coming for you, sister.

[indistinct clamor]

[Ned] Cheap shot! Cheap shot!

-Bob, return my Tupperware!
-[Ned] Come on!

[intense orchestral music playing]

[Ned] Don't surrender. Don't retreat.

I got one with your name on it.
This one's for you, Farnsworth.

-[groans, grunts]
-That'll hurt in the morning.

I've got cat-like reflexes.
Hey, hey, hey. Come here.

[Ned yelling indistinctly]

Aw. I remember that one. A little much.

[mellow music playing]

Oh, let's see.

Oh. Just right. Mm-hmm.

[wistful music playing]

[sentimental music playing]

[Emily chuckles]

Aw…

Pamela?

[mellow music playing]

[exhales]

[merry music playing]

-[doorbell rings]
-[automated voice] Ho, ho, ho, ho.

-Merry Christmas.
-[chuckles]

-[guests laughing]
-Ned.

-Oh, thank you.
-Watch this guy.

Hey, I only had two.

[polaroid shutter clicks, whirrs]

-Is that I think it is?
-I have no idea how I found it, but yes.

Oh. [chuckles]

Oh! Wow, this is very impressive.

This whole thing?
Internet's a wonderful place.

-I see you found your parents' stash.
-Yes. It's a 1987 classic, I believe.

'87. A fine year, indeed.

-This is for you.
-[Jared] This is amazing.

But what we really need
to do is this. Come here.

Ready?

-One, two, Santa. [chuckles]
-[giggles]

[polaroid shutter clicks, whirrs]

All right. This will go perfectly
right next to the other one. Come see.

I don't really share this with anyone,
but I've been thinking…

[door closing]

…about installing a retractable roof
on my house.

Why?

So, I could plant a 60-foot
old growth tree in my living room.

Ned, have you ever thought about therapy?

I've been in therapy for years.

Have you ever thought
about getting a different therapist?

[Jared] Look what I found. There.

-Almost a perfect recreation.
-You still have it.

Yeah. I love that photo.

[clicks tongue] Ooh.
It's almost singing time.

[gentle music playing]

[all] ♪ Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn't go ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, who would go ♪

♪ Oh, up on the housetop
Click, click, click ♪

♪ Down through the chimney
With good old St. Nick ♪

♪ Fall on your knees ♪

♪ Oh, hear the angel voices ♪

[all] ♪ Oh, jingle bells
Jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey ♪

[all cheering, applauding]

-I'm so glad you found these.
-That's you, Pam, right?

Yeah. That was during my poncho phase.

-[chuckles]
-[Jared] Whew. You look 19 in that one.

-Oh! [laughs]
-[chuckles]

You'd never know it,
but Jared's actually very stressed out.

About what?

The Christmas Carnival.
The Santa he booked had to cancel.

-Apparently, he sprained his lap.
-Oh, no! Well, can he find a replacement?

No. It's three days till Christmas.
Everybody's booked.

He's already so busy with everything else.
I'm worried he's not going to find anyone.

-Maybe I could help find someone.
-That would be wonderful.

I'll tell him
you'll take it off his plate.

He'll be so relieved.

Maybe Ned could do it.

My record is two minutes and 13 seconds.
Pain is all in the mind.

[breathes shakily]

Keep thinking.

-[shaky breathing continues]
-Ned. Stop it.

-[sighs in pain]
-[Jared] All right, everyone.

It's time. Oh, yes.

-[all cheering, applauding]
-[Mary Louise] It is time. It is time.

[Jared] On your turn,

you can either take a wrapped present
or you can steal from someone else.

But there's a twist.
Pay attention, Ned. The lightning round,

where you have ten seconds
for one final swap.

Ready? Who has number one?

-I do.
-Take it away, Mom.

[clears throat]

-Okay.
-[giggles]

-I didn't want that one anyway.
-[Jared] Drumroll.

[laughs]

What is it?

It's a top-of-the-line
condensation monitor.

Well, sorry, Belinda.
No one's trading you.

What's wrong with you people?

[upbeat Jive version
of "Jingle Bells" playing]

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪

[gasps]

-Okay. Don't get too attached.
-[all gasps]

Don't anybody think about trading this.

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

-[inaudible]
-♪ On a one-horse open sleigh, hey ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

[music continues playing]

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

-[music peaking]
-♪ On a one-horse open sleigh ♪

[song concludes]

Hey.

Hello. How's the checklist coming?

Hey. [sighs] Uh, well.

Other than about a dozen boxes
being empty, it's great.

Well, you can check the Santa box
because I found someone to do it.

-What?
-Yeah.

Your mom said you were so stressed
and asked if I could help.

-Oh, she… she did?
-Yeah. So, it took a few hours,

but I think I've…
I've convinced Kevin to volunteer.

-Who… who's… who's Kevin?
-Hello? Jessica's husband.

Now, I don't have a Santa suit
but I'm thinking that Pam can help us.

I mean, the woman
has a PhD in arts and crafts.

She can probably whip something up
in an afternoon, blindfolded.

-[chuckles]
-She… she sure could.

-Yeah. Kevin.
-Well… I'll hold for applause.

Do you have any idea how hard it
is to find a Santa

on Christmas Eve eve?

[high pitched] Yeah.
[clears throat] Yeah.

-It's like finding the actual Santa.
-Yeah, thank you.

[stutters] Thank you.

Well, you don't look happy.
I thought you'd be happy.

[chuckles] Yeah, I'm happy.
Don't… don't I look happy?

No. You look like I put coal
in your stocking.

No. No. It's Christmastime.
Of course I'm happy.

Uh, I'm just a little stressed right now.
My mom's right. I have a lot on my plate.

But good luck with Kevin--
or Pam-- or Kevin.

Good luck. [chuckles]

[playful music playing]

[Emily] Are you sure about this?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.
I can make a Santa suit with my eyes shut.

See, I had a hunch you would say that.

Just give me his measurements stem
to stern and in about 60 to 90 minutes,

I'll have him looking exactly
like Miracle on 34th Street.

Oh, you are a magician.
Thank you so much.

It's an advanced degree, not magic.

Right.

It sounds like you're having
a wonderful time.

Honestly, I am.
I mean, everyone's working so hard.

But this time, it doesn't feel like work.

It's kinda… it's kinda magical.

I think I finally understand
why you and dad made service

such a priority over the holidays.

Your father will be so glad to hear it.

He's in a Thai massage right now,
but he'll be so pleased to hear that.

Tell me, how's it going with Jared?

I don't know, Mom. [sighs]
I mean, he is such a special guy,

even though he's… [chuckles]
…extremely quirky

and downright goofy sometimes.

He's just so sweet, you know?
He's so charming.

I meant how's it going
with his HOA duties, but go on.

Oh. Oh, right. No, no, no.
He's an excellent president.

Very good president.
Everyone is really happy with him.

I just wish he wasn't so stressed.

Uh-oh. What's he worried about?

Well, the Santa he hired
canceled last minute,

and he was too busy to deal with it.

So, I… I took over, and…

I don't think he really appreciated that.

Why not?

Well, when I told him
I found someone to do it,

he acted kind of cold.

It's like I offended him or something.

Maybe because you did offend him.

What? By trying to help?

By not asking the one person
it would mean the most to, sweetie.

Right. Of course.
How did I not think of that, Mom?

I guess I've still got some
of those mom skills lying around.

Mad mom skills. All right.
I got to go. I… I… I have to go fix this.

-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.

[Albert] Cannonball!

[phone beeps off]

[gentle music playing]

[sighs softly]

[doorbell rings]

-Hello.
-No more "ho ho ho" chime?

-I disconnected it.
-How come?

I just, uh, wasn't feeling it.

[clicks tongue] Well, maybe
this will help put you back in the spirit.

-What's that?
-It's a little nutcracker.

Hmm.

-Still too small.
-[Emily] I know.

It's too small for your porch.

But it's not too small for your mantle.

And that right there
has sentimental value.

-Him? Hmm.
-[Emily] Yes.

That right there is the beginning
of how you got me

into the Christmas
spirit on Evergreen Lane.

-[gentle music playing]
-Really?

Yes. And since then
I have had the best week,

and that's because of you.

Look, I-- You're so devoted
to making everyone happy

that I foolishly assumed you were too busy
to fulfill your true calling this year.

What are you saying to me right now?

That I think you would make
the best Santa ever.

And I am so sorry
I didn't ask before, but I'm here now.

Just a girl standing in front of a boy,

asking him to be
the most perfect Santa Claus.

-I thought you'd never ask.
-Oop.

-So happy you're happy.
-Thank you.

So, we actually have to get to Pamela's
so that we can give her your sizes.

-[Jared] Okay.
-Okay. Yay.

-[grunts]
-[grunts]

-Kevin has short arms and tiny hands.
-It's not my fault.

The suit was constructed
on the measurements I was given.

I know. I am so sorry, Pamela.
We rushed over as soon as we could.

-I didn't think you'd finish it so fast.
-Hey. What can I say? I was in the zone.

Well, do you think
you could let it out a little?

Oh, sure.
Well, it is a Santa suit after all.

I'll just magically add fabric to it.

No, no, no. Sorry. Sorry.
I was just brainstorming.

Ned has a spare Santa suit.
What do you guys think?

Hey. It's no thread out of my bobbin. Go.

-Go.
-I'm sorry.

[Ned] I have several, actually.

You never know
when one will come in handy.

[grunts] Yeah. Yeah.
Here is the, uh, Barry Manilow Santa.

Beautiful.

This is the traditional
Norwegian Laplander Santa.

Darth Vader Santa. Very popular.

Okay. What about just,
like, classic mall Santa?

If you must.

Ah. There we are. [grunts]

Yes. Yes. You, sir, are a lifesaver.

Right. [sighs]
Sign here and return in 48 hours.

It's across the street, Ned.

Right. That's why I'm waiving the deposit.

How kind of you.

Sign for the boots as well.
Separate entry.

-Here.
-Grazie.

-[chuckles]
-Is it time?

-It's time.
-Time for what?

[Ned] I hereby nominate
Emily Melrose to be officially named

to Team Kringle as one of Santa's helpers.

I second the nomination.
Put the motion to a vote.

-All in favor, say "I."
-I.

I. The motion has passed.

It is with great pride that I bestow
upon you, Emily Melrose, the great honor--

And responsibility.

And responsibility of officially
becoming one of Santa's helpers.

-Huzzah.
-Huzzah.

Huzzah. Hmm.

-This is not a toy.
-[military music playing]

You have a lot of ground
to cover out there.

-Keep in constant communicado, capiche?
-Capiche.

Never leave a helper without a hand.

-Congratulations.
-[weakly] Congratulations.

-[walkie-talkie beeps]
-Attention, Team Kringle.

Mount up.

Yeah! Let's move, move, move.
Watch out with the steps we sneak up on.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Get the lead out.
North Pole. Christmas tree.

Move, move, move, move.
I'll take cinnamon buns. Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

-[Ned] Are you okay?
-[Jared] Got it.

Sure you got it?

All right.

-I'm Dasher.
-I'm Dancer.

-Everything looks great.
-[huffs] Looks so great.

Want to take it for a test spin?

Oh, come on. It's just a chair.

It's not just a chair.

This is where reality is suspended,
where children still believe in magic.

Hmm. It is really special.

Yeah.

Let's give it a test run.

[triumphant music playing]

You were made for this.

-Let's hope I do it justice.
-I'm sure you will.

Well, it's just… just beautiful.

I couldn't agree more.

[laughs] All right.

We have a busy day tomorrow,
so I should… I should head home.

-Ooh. I caught that.
-Caught what?

That right there was the first time
since you've been back

that you referred
to your parents' place as "home."

Huh. I guess I did.

Night.

Good night.

[sighs, clears throat]

Oh, Pamela. I am so sorry
about the whole Santa suit debacle. I…

-Are you okay?
-[sniffles, breathes shakily] No.

So, I just got off the phone with Alan.

Looks like there's a winter storm system
moving into the East Coast,

-and it's supposed to hit on the 25th.
-[emotional music playing]

[Pamela] Good news is my nana
in Pittsburgh will have a white Christmas.

Bad news is that his flight
will most definitely be canceled.

And I have to tell Helen, again,

that she's not going to see
her father on Christmas.

-I'm so sorry.
-It's fine.

That's why we have Evergreen Lane.

Please don't tell the others.

Last thing I want to do
is dampen their spirits.

I won't say a word.

I really didn't wanna be alone
this Christmas.

[cries softly]

Um, usually, when someone
hugs you, you hug back.

It's okay.

[line dialing]

[exhales sharply]

[Dan over cellphone] Hey.

Dan, hi.

Hi, hi, hi. It's me, um…

Listen. We need to talk.

[children yelling, cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

[merry music playing]

Here you go, sweetheart.

-Extra marshmallows.
-Ooh.

-Thank you.
-What time should I take over, Mary?

-One o'clock.
-Okay. I'll be back then.

-Can we go see Santa now?
-Yes. Of course, honey.

Ooh. You know what?
Let's go now. We'll beat the line.

-Santa, we're coming for you.
-[both laugh]

Well, you really seem
to be fitting in around here.

You know what?
Strange as it seems, I think you're right.

I'm glad to hear it.

Does that mean
you're thinking of moving back?

Ugh. I don't know.

But if you hear of a place for rent,
I mean, I'd take a look at it.

Ooh. I'll keep my ear to the ground.

I know one girl who'll be very happy
to have you back.

It's so nice to be close to Nicole again.

-I meant me. [chuckles]
-Oh! [chuckles]

[Jared] Thank you, London.
Merry Christmas to you.

-Merry Christmas.
-Mm?

Ho, ho, 'kay.
Trixie, who do we have next?

Well, Santa, you remember Nicole.

[Jared] Nicole. Of course,
Merry Christmas to you.

Do you want to sit on Santa's lap?

-No, thank you.
-[all chuckles]

[Jared] Okay.
A little girl who knows what she wants.

Santa loves that.

Why do you refer to yourself
in the third person?

[Jared] That's a great question. Uh-- Oh.

More important question is,
have you been naughty or nice?

A little bit of both.
Like everyone, right?

-[Jared] I suppose.
-Look. I know you're not the real Santa.

It's okay. We should pretend
for all the grownups' sake.

I'm picking up what you're putting down.
Okay. What do you want for Christmas?

-Two things.
-[Jared] Hit me.

I'd like some new furniture
for my doll house.

Ideally, Bauhaus or Danish modern.

[Jared] What else?

I'd like that handsome architect
to take my aunt Emily on a date.

I told you. She's always listening.

See, that is what I call
highly effective communication.

-Uh-huh. [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

[Jared] What makes you think
your aunt Emily

wants that handsome architect
to take her out on a date?

Well, she said she didn't like him,
but you know what that means.

[Jared] Thanks for the tip, kiddo.
Merry Christmas.

You too.

[Jared] Ho ho.
Oh, Trixie, who do we have next?

Trixie doesn't care.

Alan!

[dramatic music playing]

Pamela.

-[smooches]
-[smooches] But the storm.

-How did you get here?
-None of that matters now. We're together.

That's all that's important.

What's the story there?

Christmas miracle.

-[Pamela smooching]
-[Alan smooching]

-Don't stay out too late, you two.
-We're waiting up for Santa.

-And looking at my favorite star.
-[chuckles]

-Oh. [chuckles]
-[polaroid shutter clicks, whirrs]

Mom says
I'm the official photographer this year.

-And you are doing an excellent job.
-Thanks, Emily.

["Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
playing in the distance]

♪ Glory to the newborn king… ♪

[polaroid shutter clicks, whirrs]

[sighs]

You're a true Melrose, Emily.
Your parents would be proud.

-Merry Christmas.
-[mouthing] Yeah, thank you.

-How did you do it?
-Do what?

-There are no secrets from Santa.
-[Emily] Hmm.

How did you get Alan home
in time for Christmas?

My ex-boyfriend happens
to work for an airline,

so I called in a huge favor
and got him on the last flight

-before the storm hit.
-[Jared] Your ex?

-Thought you said that guy was a jerk.
-Oh, he is. Totally.

But even the biggest jerk
is no match for the Christmas spirit.

[breathes sharply]
That gave me goosebumps. Is that strange?

-Coming from you, no. [chuckles]
-[Jared chuckles]

[Emily] So, how was it?

Greatest night of my life.

-[clicks tongue] Aw.
-[Jared] And it's not over.

I have a lot of presents to deliver,
so, you know.

In fact, do you know
where I can pick up some--

It's Bauhaus doll furniture?

I feel like the… the elves
can help with that, probably?

That's a good idea.

-I do have one more request though.
-Yeah? What's that?

[sighs] How would you feel
about going on a date with an architect?

Ooh. It depends.

-[Jared] Hmm.
-Is he handsome?

[smacks lips, gasps] I know someone
who has a framed photo of him.

-I can show you tomorrow and you decide.
-All right.

-Walk me home?
-[clicks tongue]

I got to get back to the sleigh.
Reindeer are a handful this time of night.

[Emily laughs]

[gentle music playing]

It's Christmas.

[merry music playing]

[sighs]

[playful music playing]

-Surprise. [chuckling]
-Merry Christmas, honey.

-[Gail giggles]
-Mom? [chuckles] Dad.

-What are you doing here?
-[Gail] Aw.

Well, Florida was fun,
but we couldn't be away for the big day.

-Oh, I am so happy to see both of you.
-[Gail] Oh…

The house looks terrific.
You did a great job outside.

Yes. The lawn display is very eclectic.

Thank you.
That's exactly what I was going for.

-It's all very familiar somehow.
-Really? Hmm.

I don't know.
Like father, like daughter, I guess.

Did you remember to put the key
to the storage unit

back in the shoe polish tin?

-Wait. You knew?
-[chuckles]

I think it's funny
how after all these years,

you still think you can
keep a secret from me.

-[blows]
-[chuckles, kisses]

How was your week, honey?

You know what?
It was exactly what I needed.

Really? How so?

I just realized how amazing it is
what you guys started here.

And I was so proud to be a part of it
for one more year,

-even if it was the last.
-Is that it? You're heading back?

I haven't decided yet, but I am thinking
about looking for a place in town.

I mean, I can work from anywhere
and I miss home.

That's the best news
we've heard in a long time.

-Indeed.
-[chuckles] And how about you guys?

Did you find a place in Florida?

The good news is we found a condo
right next to my brother's.

The bad news is their HOA
holiday regulations are a total mess.

But don't you worry. Your father and I,

-are already drafting amendments.
-Hmm.

Gail and Albert Melrose just saving
Christmas one suburb at a time.

-[Albert] Mm-hmm.
-[chuckles]

And thank you so much
for looking out for the place.

It was the best Christmas gift
you could have ever given us.

And now, we want to give you
the best gift we can think of.

[sentimental music playing]

[chuckles]

It's your keychain. I… I don't get it.

Those are the keys to your new home
on Evergreen Lane.

[scoffs] Are you serious?

-If you want the house, it's yours.
-We can't imagine it any other way.

-I… I mean, yes. [chuckles] Yes. Yes!
-Aw.

Aw, I love you guys so much.

-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, darling.

[choir] ♪ Joy to the world
The Lord has come ♪

-Right on cue.
-[chuckles]

[choir] ♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪

♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪

-♪ And Heaven and nature sing ♪
-[Ned] ♪ Heaven and nature ♪

-[choir] ♪ And Heaven and nature sing ♪
-♪ And Heaven and nature ♪

[together] ♪ And Heaven
And Heaven, and nature sing ♪

-Merry Christmas, everyone!
-[all] Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

We've got a big day ahead of us,
but come on in for some cocoa.

[choir] ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

-♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
-Hi, Bob.

-[all chattering]
-[whimsical music playing]

[door closing]

-Barely 36.
-Well, Merry Christmas to you too.

So, thinking about taking their offer?

Well, I mean,
the house is amazing. But, uh,

kind of… kind of on the fence
about the neighborhood.

[clicks tongue] Yeah. Yes.
A lot of characters.

-Yeah. The HOA is very strict.
-Well,

if you get in good with their president,
he might cut you some slack.

I highly doubt that.

[smacks lips, inhales deeply]
I took an oath

to protect this neighborhood,
and I'm going to honor it.

That just gave me goosebumps.
is that strange?

[smacks lips] Not at all.

-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]

-You got a pen?
-[smacks lips] Always.

I have a citation for you, Mr. President.

I'm sorry? Is there some rule
I broke, that I'm unaware of?

It's my own little flourish.

That's not how that works.

Punishment isn't too bad.

I'll be the judge of that. [clears throat]

This, I think I can handle.

[chuckles]

[romantic music swells]

[both smooch]

-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.

[chuckles]

-["It's Time to Celebrate" playing]
-[Emily] So, in the end,

Christmas didn't quite turn out
like I thought it would.

It was better.

And I know one new resident

who has some ideas
for next year's celebration.

The countdown is on.

♪ It's Christmastime, my dear ♪

♪ You can feel it in the air ♪

♪ Singing songs
And spreading Christmas cheer ♪

♪ Kissing under mistletoes
Never want to let you go ♪

♪ At least, one thing is clear ♪

♪ We can't wait to do it
All again next year ♪

-[song concludes]
-[merry music playing]

[music concludes]