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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,600 # We Wish You A Merry Christmas # 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,000 # We wish you a Merry Christmas 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,400 # We wish you a Merry Christmas 4 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,920 # We wish you a Merry Christmas 5 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,600 # We wish you a Merry Christmas 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,000 # And a Happy New Year 7 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,120 # And a Happy New Year 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,680 # Good tidings we bring 9 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,240 # To you and your kin 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,000 # We wish you a Merry Christmas 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:32,680 # We wish you a Merry Christmas 12 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,160 # And a Happy New Year 13 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,480 # Now bring us a figgy pudding 14 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,200 # Now bring us a figgy pudding 15 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,600 # Now bring us- # 16 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:48,000 (GROANS) 17 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:48,720 (GROANS) 18 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,600 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 19 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,920 They're still up. His lights. He's just forgotten they're there. 20 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,000 Oh, and just remembers to turn them on every night?Timer. 21 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:56,680 Oh, and just remembers to turn them on every night?Timer. 22 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,120 Ah! No. That's what I thought, but different times every night. 23 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,000 This evening, 6:59. Before that 6:57. Before that 6:42. 24 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:04,600 This evening, 6:59. Before that 6:57. Before that 6:42. 25 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,480 Before that 6.53, 6:42, 6:53, 6:47, 6:59- 26 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,640 I like them. I'm telling you... 27 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,000 he's got it in for me, Laura. 28 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:12,040 he's got it in for me, Laura. 29 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,840 First it was the whole the thing, wasn't it, about the car.Neil... 30 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,600 For the last time, the car thing... 31 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,000 could've been anyone. The entire street would like to see 32 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:20,200 could've been anyone. The entire street would like to see 33 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,120 the back of that heap. Eight years it sat there, 34 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,120 not a dicky bird, but the second that he moved in... 35 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,480 Why would he, of all people, 36 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,000 complain to the council about an "eyesore"? 37 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,000 complain to the council about an "eyesore"? 38 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,680 Because no one would suspect him. 39 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,000 WOMAN: (OVER VIDEO CALL) Chicken soup.Argh. 40 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:36,400 WOMAN: (OVER VIDEO CALL) Chicken soup.Argh. 41 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,240 Err, custard. Ey. 42 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,080 Beans with sausage. Oh, perfect. 43 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,000 Just what I'm after. Thanks, Hol. 44 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:44,920 Just what I'm after. Thanks, Hol. 45 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,560 Dad... You are looking after yourself? Yeah? 46 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,160 "Looking after myself"? There's sausage in these beans. 47 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,000 I'm living like a king! Hm... OK. 48 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,120 I'm living like a king! Hm... OK. 49 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,560 (RHYTHMIC KNOCK AT DOOR) 50 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,240 I'd know that knock anywhere. 51 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,440 It's him. Dad. No, wait just promise me- 52 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,000 I'll be on my best behaviour. Anyway, got to go. 53 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:00,520 I'll be on my best behaviour. Anyway, got to go. 54 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,320 Love you Holly. See you later. Dad, wait! 55 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,240 Bye-bye.Bye. Mwah.Bye. 56 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:08,000 Hello? Hello Scott. 57 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,840 Hello? Hello Scott. 58 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,000 Um... It's me. Me? 59 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,160 Neil. "Neil"? 60 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,000 Across the road. Oh yeah, Neil. Got ya. 61 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,840 Across the road. Oh yeah, Neil. Got ya. 62 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,440 What can I do for you? 63 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,080 It's about the lights. 64 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,760 Lights? The Christmas lights. On your roof. 65 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,760 Oh, they still up are they? You may remember from... 66 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,360 our conversation on January 2nd, and my follow up text 67 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,000 of February 5th, and the 12th, that they shine brightly 68 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,240 of February 5th, and the 12th, that they shine brightly 69 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,720 into my top window, so I'd really appreciate it, if you don't mind- 70 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,360 Yep, say no more Neil. 71 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,000 I will have them taken down first thing in the morning. 72 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:40,920 I will have them taken down first thing in the morning. 73 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,560 You have my word. 74 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,160 # ..Good tidings we bring 75 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,600 # To you and your kin 76 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,000 (DISTORTED, SLOWS) # We wish you a Merry Christmas... # 77 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,320 (DISTORTED, SLOWS) # We wish you a Merry Christmas... # 78 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,360 Git! 79 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,000 (JOLLY MUSIC) 80 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,000 # When the snowman brings the snow 81 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,080 # When the snowman brings the snow 82 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,680 # He might just like to know 83 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,000 # He put a great big smile on somebody's face 84 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,560 # He put a great big smile on somebody's face 85 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,360 # When you jump into your bed 86 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,000 # Pull the covers right over your head 87 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,920 # Pull the covers right over your head 88 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,800 # But don't you lock the doors 89 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,000 # You know Santa Claus is on his way-ay-ay 90 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,200 # You know Santa Claus is on his way-ay-ay 91 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:34,520 # I wish it could be Christmas every day 92 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:42,400 # When the kids start singing and the band begins to play 93 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:44,000 # Oh, yes, I wish it could be Christmas every day 94 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:50,520 # Oh, yes, I wish it could be Christmas every day 95 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:52,000 # Let the bells ring out for Christmas 96 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:59,560 # Let the bells ring out for Christmas 97 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,000 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 98 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,400 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 99 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,280 # When we're skating in the park 100 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,000 # And the storm cloud paints it dark 101 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,240 # And the storm cloud paints it dark 102 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:15,520 # Well, your rosy cheeks are gonna light my merry way 103 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:16,000 # Oh, now 104 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:16,560 # Oh, now 105 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,040 # When the frosticles appear 106 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,680 # And they've frozen my beard 107 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:29,120 # So we'll sit by the fire and let the heat melt 'em away... # 108 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,960 You were supposed to be getting her flute!Thirteen minutes. 109 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,800 He hasn't even invited her in. Do you hear me? 110 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,880 She's 74 with a fake knee. Get the poor woman a chair. 111 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,520 Look at her under his spell, he's not even listening. 112 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,000 You'd think she'd see through him, but no she's baked him a carrot cake. 113 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,840 You'd think she'd see through him, but no she's baked him a carrot cake. 114 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,440 How do you know it's carrot? 115 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,480 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES) 116 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,000 Well... that's normal. 117 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:48,320 Well... that's normal. 118 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,920 Can you get to school, please? 119 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,600 Get a life, please? Don't backchat me. 120 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,400 And don't cut through the park! 121 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,000 Neil. Look at me. Look at me. I know you've had a difficult time 122 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,040 Neil. Look at me. Look at me. I know you've had a difficult time 123 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,520 the last few months. Why'd you keep saying that? I'm fine. 124 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,000 You're not fine. You're distracted, you're short tempered. 125 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,040 You're not fine. You're distracted, you're short tempered. 126 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,840 You've barely noticed your daughter. I noticed the attitude. 127 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,360 Well, what do you expect. Look... 128 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,000 What Graham did was wrong. You were best friends... 129 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:12,480 What Graham did was wrong. You were best friends... 130 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,640 We weren't friends, we were business partners. 131 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,520 Look whatever. The whole Parnes Alarms thing 132 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,000 has clearly affected you. All you do is work, sleep, and this. 133 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:20,400 has clearly affected you. All you do is work, sleep, and this. 134 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,480 It's not healthy. Right, two things. 135 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,840 Firstly, bit of hard work never killed anybody. 136 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,720 Your Uncle Fred had a pre-existing heart condition. 137 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,000 And secondly, I don't need a best friend because I'm not nine, 138 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,840 And secondly, I don't need a best friend because I'm not nine, 139 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,000 and this is completely unrelated. 140 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,160 This is about him messing with the wrong "hombre". 141 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,000 Morning April! Morning Scott. Morning, Euan! 142 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,560 Morning April! Morning Scott. Morning, Euan! 143 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,320 Cake was delicious, by the way. OK fine. Fine. 144 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,320 If you think you're fine, fine. 145 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,000 But if everybody else thinks he a nice normal guy, 146 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,040 But if everybody else thinks he a nice normal guy, 147 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,680 easy to get on with, and it's only you who think he's some sort of 148 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,120 mad, evil psychopath, what does that tell you? 149 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,000 That he's winning. 150 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,280 That he's winning. 151 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,680 Oh! (GROANS) 152 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,320 (CURIOUS MUSIC) 153 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,560 That's my bin. 154 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,640 (GASPS) 155 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,000 Who's there? 156 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,280 Who's there? 157 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:29,240 (GRUFFLY) Postman! I thought you were out, so I was just lea... 158 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,800 Parnes Alarms? Neil? 159 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,440 Hello, you two. 160 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,840 (GRUFFLY) Alright mate, I was just delivering these. 161 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,040 (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, I can take those. 162 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,520 (GRUFFLY) 'Ere. 163 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,800 (NORMAL VOICE) Cheers. OK, Merry Christmas. 164 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,320 (GRUFFLY) Right. 165 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,560 And to you, both. 166 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,000 Postie gone has he? Yep, /yeah he's gone. 167 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,160 Postie gone has he? Yep, /yeah he's gone. 168 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,760 So what brings you over here, this time?In a word... 169 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,680 .."bins". 170 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,000 It looks like our green bins have got mixed up. 171 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,320 It looks like our green bins have got mixed up. 172 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,440 Again. Does it matter? 173 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,320 Well, yeah. One of them has got a crack in it. 174 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,000 And it's got, like, sentimental value has it? 175 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,240 And it's got, like, sentimental value has it? 176 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,440 No, yours has got a crack in it. 177 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,000 So I'll... I will just... 178 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:36,640 So I'll... I will just... 179 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,880 swap these bins over, again. 180 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,000 And hopefully, that will be the end of it. 181 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:44,680 And hopefully, that will be the end of it. 182 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,080 Well, fingers crossed. 183 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,320 You can't trust them you know, Parnes Alarms. 184 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,480 I used to work with him. Graham. 185 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,160 Yeah. Out for himself. He's a bad egg. 186 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,640 Oh, he seems alright to me. I do his accounts. 187 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,880 Well, I hope you're both very happy. 188 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,680 We are. 189 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,880 So, what's he sent you then? Mr Parnes? 190 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:16,000 Oh, you know. Just some... lights. 191 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,880 Oh, you know. Just some... lights. 192 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,160 Lights? Security lights. 193 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,000 April was concerned about my home security so I thought, 194 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,360 April was concerned about my home security so I thought, 195 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,960 a few more lights couldn't hurt. Oh, come off it. 196 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,960 What have you got against me? Eh? 197 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 The flashing lights, swapping the bins, 198 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,240 The flashing lights, swapping the bins, 199 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,560 and I know it was you that complained to the council about my Sierra. 200 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,000 Those complaints are anonymous. 201 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:40,160 Those complaints are anonymous. 202 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,960 How d'ya know if you didn't complain? 203 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,800 Common knowledge. Argh... 204 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,920 You wheedle your way in here, don't you? Eh? 205 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,000 Convincing everyone round here you're all sweetness and light. 206 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:48,920 Convincing everyone round here you're all sweetness and light. 207 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,800 People baking you cakes, laughing at your little jokes. 208 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,960 Years I've lived here without an issue, 209 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,760 but the second you move in... 210 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,000 Oh. You need to open your eyes more. 211 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,880 Oh. You need to open your eyes more. 212 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,800 Excuse me?You know what they call you round here? 213 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,760 What? Petty. 214 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,000 Nonsense. Yeah. Tom Petty they call you. 215 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,080 Nonsense. Yeah. Tom Petty they call you. 216 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,240 Rubbish. Petty Davis. 217 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,960 That's not true.Jean-Paul Petty. You're making these up. 218 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000 The Petty'sburg address. They don't say that. 219 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:12,760 The Petty'sburg address. They don't say that. 220 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,000 Alpha-petty-spaghetti. That doesn't make sense. 221 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,000 Dainty little petty coat.I'm very well respected. Very popular. 222 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,000 Ah well, where's your cake then? Well, it's not in the bin. 223 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:20,840 Ah well, where's your cake then? Well, it's not in the bin. 224 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,680 Oh, I haven't got time for this. 225 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,560 Neighbourhood watch tonight. You mean nosey parkers. 226 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,000 It's like Parnes Alarms, no substitute for the real thing. 227 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,720 It's like Parnes Alarms, no substitute for the real thing. 228 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,640 Well, tonight's the big night. 229 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,040 April's standing down as coordinator. 230 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,680 It's the vote to find a replacement. 231 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:36,000 And, you know, I'm thinking of standing, given my popularity. 232 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,800 And, you know, I'm thinking of standing, given my popularity. 233 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,600 Oh, come off it. You wouldn't stand a chance. 234 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,000 Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't. 235 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,360 Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't. 236 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,280 Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't. 237 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,360 Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't! 238 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,000 Wouldn't I? 239 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,160 Wouldn't I? 240 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,000 (CURIOUS MUSIC) 241 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,560 (CURIOUS MUSIC) 242 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,120 Euan. 243 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,760 Bin's again. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 244 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,000 (SNIFFLING) 245 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:16,360 (SNIFFLING) 246 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,360 Alright? Fine! 247 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,000 Good stuff. 248 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,000 (DOOR OPENS) (PHONE CHIMES) 249 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,040 (DOOR OPENS) (PHONE CHIMES) 250 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,920 (DOOR CLOSES) (OMINOUS MUSIC) 251 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,760 Ah, well, good for business. 252 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,720 There you go darling. 253 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,600 Have you heard this? What? 254 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,040 It's nothing. Just leave it. 255 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,640 She's been mugged. Mum... 256 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,000 You just said you were fine. I am fine! 257 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:40,640 You just said you were fine. I am fine! 258 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,640 Ashleigh Brennan stole her ear buds. The ones I bought her? 259 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:46,600 I had those engraved. Doesn't matter. I don't even care. 260 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,000 When was this? Just now in the park. 261 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:48,560 When was this? Just now in the park. 262 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,800 Oh, I told you not to cut through the park! 263 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,720 That's it? That's your response. 264 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,800 It's fine, and I'm fine, so can we just leave it? 265 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,760 (HURRIED FOOTSTEPS) (SCOFFS) Well? 266 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,640 (DISTANT DOOR SLAMS) What do you want me to do? 267 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,920 I don't know. Call the police or something. 268 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:04,000 You don't call the police on the Brennans. 269 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,840 You don't call the police on the Brennans. 270 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,040 They're not the kind of people you want to upset. 271 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,520 What about Chloe? Upsetting her? 272 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,000 Go and apologise to her. Go and find her, make sure she's OK. 273 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,760 Go and apologise to her. Go and find her, make sure she's OK. 274 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,680 Be her Dad. 275 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,040 (LAUGHTER) (UPBEAT MUSIC) 276 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,680 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 277 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,840 I'm just gonna, erm... 278 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,480 I'm... I'm just... 279 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,400 (TENSE MUSIC) 280 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,000 (DOOR BUZZES) 281 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:44,840 (DOOR BUZZES) 282 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,240 WOMAN: Ashleigh. 283 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,880 Big Barry. 284 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,200 Little Barry. Eek! 285 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,000 You know, cos... three years, Mum. (CHUCKLES) 286 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,480 You know, cos... three years, Mum. (CHUCKLES) 287 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,360 Ah... 288 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,560 Right Brennans, let's get to work. 289 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:16,000 I told you to ditch the balloon. (INDISTINCT ARGUING) 290 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:16,360 I told you to ditch the balloon. (INDISTINCT ARGUING) 291 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,000 Just get in! 292 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,880 Oh. Lovely to see you Scott. 293 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:24,000 And the tea is in your left hand. 294 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,520 And the tea is in your left hand. 295 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,880 Oh. In the cup-shaped thing. I've got you. Thank you. (CHUCKLES) 296 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,520 Just this way Scott. 297 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,520 Scott. Hi. 298 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,720 Oh, hey, Sabrina. How are you doing? Hi. Yeah, I'm good thanks. 299 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,000 New shirt? Oh, yeah. Pressie from my daughter. 300 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,640 Oh, lovely... Yeah. 301 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,280 Matches your eyes. Yeah. 302 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,440 What, you mean it doesn't work? 303 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,840 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Sorry. 304 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:48,000 No, that's alright. Um... 305 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,520 No, that's alright. Um... 306 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,960 There's a seat next to me if you want to... 307 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,720 Oh, um... No, I'm with these guys here, you know, I'd better... 308 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:55,800 Oh, yeah. Yeah.Oh, OK. 309 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:56,000 APRIL: Everyone, settle down. Yeah. See you later. 310 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,920 APRIL: Everyone, settle down. Yeah. See you later. 311 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,760 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 312 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,680 Right, then, thank you everybody. 313 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,000 Well. There's no avoiding the elephant in the room. 314 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,920 Well. There's no avoiding the elephant in the room. 315 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:11,400 As everyone knows, I'm stepping down as community coordinator. 316 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,000 (GROUP AWs) It's been very fulfilling... 317 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,920 (GROUP AWs) It's been very fulfilling... 318 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,160 but, without John to share the load... 319 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,000 ..it's time to pass on the torch. 320 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:20,360 ..it's time to pass on the torch. 321 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,840 (GROUP AWs) 322 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,640 Which brings me to the small matter of my successor, 323 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,720 and we have a wealth of talent on the shortlist. 324 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,040 There's Bill and Janet. (APPLAUSE) 325 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,120 The two Sues. (APPLAUSE) 326 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:36,000 And, of course, our current bursar, Evelyn. 327 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,520 And, of course, our current bursar, Evelyn. 328 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,360 (APPLAUSE) 329 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,760 So, unless anybody else is thinking of standing... 330 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,160 ..the vote will be a simple show of hands. 331 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,280 (GROUP GASPS) Neil? 332 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,520 This is an unexpected... 333 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,760 Unexpected. 334 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,920 Well, you know, I knew it was your big day, April. 335 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,600 I wanted to see you go. 336 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:00,000 I mean, mark the occasion. 337 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,800 I mean, mark the occasion. 338 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,280 Out with the old... not that you're old! 339 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,320 I mean "old guard", a lynchpin, a big beast. 340 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,000 Not that you're big, you know, you've lost a lot of um... 341 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,360 Not that you're big, you know, you've lost a lot of um... 342 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,920 How's John? He's dead. I'll sit down. 343 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,680 (MURMURING) 344 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,000 Yes, um... Where were we? 345 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Yes, um... Where were we? 346 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,920 Ah, voting! 347 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:24,000 So, I will list each candidate in turn and ask for a show of hands. 348 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,120 So, I will list each candidate in turn and ask for a show of hands. 349 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,240 Oh, Scott. Have you, uh...? 350 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,640 Um, yes April. Um, I've been thinking... 351 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,440 ..just about how incredibly welcoming 352 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:36,920 this community has been to me. 353 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,000 How kind and accepting and, well... 354 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:40,640 How kind and accepting and, well... 355 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,200 ..just about the help and support that you've all given to me 356 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,480 when I've really needed it. And... (GROUP AWs) 357 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,000 ..if I could give something back to all the people 358 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,880 ..if I could give something back to all the people 359 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,640 that have given so much to me. 360 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,440 And if the role of coordinator might allow me to do that, 361 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,000 and if you were to put your trust in me... 362 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:56,160 and if you were to put your trust in me... 363 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,000 ..then it's a mantel I'd be honoured to take on. 364 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,960 (GROUP AWs) 365 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Well, thank you Scott. 366 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:04,200 Well, thank you Scott. 367 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,120 I will certainly add your name to the list. 368 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,560 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 369 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,800 I vote for Scott. 370 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,120 Mm, I'm out. And so's Sue. 371 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,080 Oh. Bill, Janet? 372 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,960 No. No. No.Right... 373 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000 So, as there are no other hats in the ring... 374 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,840 So, as there are no other hats in the ring... 375 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,480 Wait! 376 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,880 (GROUP GASPS) 377 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,880 Neil?I would like to put myself into April's ring. 378 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,040 My hat into the ring. 379 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,000 As a professional in home security... 380 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:36,360 As a professional in home security... 381 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,000 Causes for Alarms, I could not be better suited, 382 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,280 or indeed, better qualified, for the role. 383 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,000 And I would be honoured to share 384 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,760 And I would be honoured to share 385 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,720 that experience, and expertise... 386 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,000 (MURMURING) 387 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,480 (MURMURING) 388 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,960 And.... 389 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,960 a generous affiliate discount of 20% 390 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,520 off all home security products for committee members. 391 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,080 (MURMURING) 392 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,000 30%? WOMAN: Forty! 393 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,320 30%? WOMAN: Forty! 394 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:14,040 40%! Oh, I vote for discount man. 395 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,000 Yeah. Right.... 396 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:16,680 Yeah. Right.... 397 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,800 Well, we appear to have a two horse race. 398 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,920 So, let's put it to the vote, shall we? 399 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,000 Show of hands for Scott... 400 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,440 Show of hands for Scott... 401 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,120 And for Neil? 402 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,800 What are the chances? 403 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:38,360 It would seem that we have... 404 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,000 ..a tie. (MURMURING) 405 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,560 ..a tie. (MURMURING) 406 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:47,840 Seriously? I mean, do I have to point out the obvious here? 407 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:48,000 It's supposed to be Neighbourhood "Watch". 408 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,200 It's supposed to be Neighbourhood "Watch". 409 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,520 (GROUP GASPS) 410 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,000 I'm mean surely there must be rules for this sort of thing. 411 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:56,400 I'm mean surely there must be rules for this sort of thing. 412 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,960 Who has the casting vote? 413 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,600 (MAGICAL TWINKLING) 414 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,280 You have got to be kidding me. 415 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,000 What's happening? I think John's voting. 416 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:12,800 What's happening? I think John's voting. 417 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,680 I thought John was dead. He is. 418 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,600 OK, OK. So, I think he would want 419 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,000 the role of community coordinator to go to... 420 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,360 the role of community coordinator to go to... 421 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,800 both of you. 422 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,320 Jointly. (APPLAUSE) 423 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,480 No, no, no, no, no. 424 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,000 Bye Scott. Bye-bye, take care. 425 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,600 Bye Scott. Bye-bye, take care. 426 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,320 (LAUGHS) Merry Christmas. 427 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,480 OK, what are you playing at?! So, you're not as popular 428 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,000 as you thought are, eh? You don't even want the job! 429 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,640 as you thought are, eh? You don't even want the job! 430 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,760 The people have spoken and you lost!! 431 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,240 It was a draw! 432 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:52,000 Only on paper maybe. But I'm the only one with the skillset. 433 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:52,080 Only on paper maybe. But I'm the only one with the skillset. 434 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,000 So, why don't you take your little badge, go back to your little house- 435 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,560 They're all the same size. And let me do what I've done 436 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,360 my whole adult life. 437 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,000 What, act like a child? Home security. 438 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,320 What, act like a child? Home security. 439 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:05,720 Causes for Alarms. We are very popular. 440 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,000 Shouldn't it be "Cause" for Alarms?! 441 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:08,520 Shouldn't it be "Cause" for Alarms?! 442 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,320 It works. 443 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,760 Oh, and number one rule, hm? 444 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,400 This year... TAKE YOUR LIGHTS DOWN! 445 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,086 OK, I'll take my lights down. 446 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,000 Oh, look at that. 447 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,640 Yeah. Quality plastic that, and all our alarms are hardwired, 448 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,000 so you won't have to change the batteries. 449 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,920 so you won't have to change the batteries. 450 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,120 And, seeing as it's Christmas, Evelyn, 451 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,240 I'm gonna throw in a free mug. 452 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,000 Ha, catch? Only joking. 453 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:40,600 Ha, catch? Only joking. 454 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,000 Bone china. Well, made in China. 455 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,560 And all with- Yes, all with 40% off. 456 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,160 I'm a man... 457 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,000 What the hell?! 458 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,680 What the hell?! 459 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,160 WOMAN: Careful, Scott! (GASPS) 460 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,160 Sign that. Oh! 461 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,000 MAN: Come down Scott, you'll fall! (ALL GASP) 462 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,640 MAN: Come down Scott, you'll fall! (ALL GASP) 463 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,800 I'm fine. Nothing to see here. 464 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,600 I'm OK. Honest. 465 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,920 Ooh! 466 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,000 (WHIMPERING) 467 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,160 (WHIMPERING) 468 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,440 ALL: Woah! (SHRIEK) 469 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,960 Scott! Please, don't move! 470 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,520 Honestly. I'm... fine! 471 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,000 (ALL SCREAM) 472 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,080 (ALL SCREAM) 473 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,880 (YELLING) 474 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,680 Still fine. SABRINA: If you want more 475 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,000 decorations up, we can do that. You're gonna get yourself killed! 476 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,120 decorations up, we can do that. You're gonna get yourself killed! 477 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,160 I'm not putting them up, I am taking them down! 478 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,160 What? Why? 479 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,000 Neil told me to take my lights down. 480 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,720 Neil told me to take my lights down. 481 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,240 What?! Did you, Neil? 482 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,360 No. 483 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,000 Well, yes, but, you know, I didn't me... 484 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,720 Well, yes, but, you know, I didn't me... 485 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,560 I didn't mean now, obviously not now, it's Christmas! 486 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,920 SUE 1: Right. Step aside. SUE 2: Coming through! 487 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,000 You've got the wrong end of the... You know. Keep the lights! 488 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,320 You've got the wrong end of the... You know. Keep the lights! 489 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,000 More lights I say!! 490 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,400 We'll have you down in no time cockleshell. 491 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,000 Thanks Sues. Right, come on. 492 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,640 Thanks Sues. Right, come on. 493 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,280 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 494 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,000 That's it. Careful, yep, that's it. 495 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:00,640 That's it. Careful, yep, that's it. 496 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,160 (CROWD GASPS) 497 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,800 (PANICKED CHATTER) 498 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,000 I've got your right ankle. 499 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:08,040 I've got your right ankle. 500 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,880 # We Wish You a Merry Christmas # 501 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,000 If it's lights you want, I'll give you lights. 502 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,920 If it's lights you want, I'll give you lights. 503 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,480 I'll show them who's Mr Christmas. 504 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,480 You wait to see what I can do. 505 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,000 Mum. Is dad having a breakdown? 506 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,760 Mum. Is dad having a breakdown? 507 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,520 LAURA: Yeah, looks like it. 508 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,000 (SIREN WAILING) Roll up, guys. Come on down! 509 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,440 (SIREN WAILING) Roll up, guys. Come on down! 510 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,080 (SIREN WAILING) 511 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,000 Roll up. Roll up for the great Staplethorne Close 512 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,720 Roll up. Roll up for the great Staplethorne Close 513 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,600 Christmas switch-on! Ha-ha! 514 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,920 Sponsored by Causes for Alarms! 515 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,640 (SIREN WAILING) (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 516 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,320 Yeah. Sorry, Evelyn, I probably don't need this. Um... 517 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,000 (MEGAPHONE CLATTERS) 518 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,920 (FEEDBACK SCREECHES) So, I am very aware 519 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,360 of the, um, little... 520 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,000 ..confusion earlier today, 521 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:04,280 ..confusion earlier today, 522 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:08,880 regarding my attitude to the community, 523 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,560 or some persons therein, 524 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,000 indeed, the whole of the festive season. 525 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,840 indeed, the whole of the festive season. 526 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,720 I am delighted to address this matter, 527 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,000 in a way that demonstrates how wholeheartedly affectionate 528 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,800 in a way that demonstrates how wholeheartedly affectionate 529 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:27,320 I feel about this most wonderful time of the year. 530 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,880 (DISTORTED) # You better watch out 531 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:30,920 # You better not cry 532 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,360 # You better not pout, I'm telling you why 533 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,000 # Santa Claus is coming to town 534 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:36,480 # Santa Claus is coming to town 535 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,680 # He's making a list 536 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,840 # And checking it twice 537 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,360 # Gonna find out who's... # (MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS) 538 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,240 (CROWD GASPS) 539 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,720 (CAR ALARMS WAILING) 540 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,360 (PANICKED CHATTER) 541 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,000 Are they on? 542 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:52,920 Are they on? 543 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,560 (AIR HISSING) 544 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,880 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 545 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,680 (ANGRY CHATTER) 546 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,240 We don't know for certain that it was my fault. 547 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,000 Excuse me. Do we know when the power will be back on? 548 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,920 Excuse me. Do we know when the power will be back on? 549 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,480 Well, he... 550 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,000 the surge clipped the mains ring for the whole street, 551 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:16,200 the surge clipped the mains ring for the whole street, 552 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,680 which burnt out part of the sub. 553 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,240 So, we'll be done here by 5:00 ish. 554 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,560 But, with the off-site work, you're looking at a couple of days. 555 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,000 What?! But it's Christmas Eve! 556 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,640 What?! But it's Christmas Eve! 557 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,920 They'll work as fast as they can, but I wouldn't hold my breath. 558 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,000 If I were you I'd make other plans for Christmas. 559 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:32,320 If I were you I'd make other plans for Christmas. 560 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,840 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) I'm sorry. 561 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,160 Excuse me. 562 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:40,000 Well, Neil? 563 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,440 Well, Neil? 564 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,840 Look, we're all in the same boat. My power's off too. 565 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,000 We're just gonna have to stay with a friend or family. 566 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:48,040 We're just gonna have to stay with a friend or family. 567 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:49,840 It's just a couple of days. 568 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,720 But who's going to spritz my Epipremnum? 569 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,880 And who's gonna feed Mr Baldwin? 570 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,000 Look, we just... Who? My cat. 571 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,280 Look, we just... Who? My cat. 572 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,200 Obviously, there-there are going to be things that we need to- 573 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,600 SCOTT: I'll do it. 574 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,160 (MAGICAL TWINKLING) 575 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,360 I'll feed Mr Baldwin and keep Evelyn's whatsit moist. 576 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,000 But there's no power. You'll freeze. 577 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,240 But there's no power. You'll freeze. 578 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,840 I've got jumpers. And it's not like I need the lights on. 579 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,000 And I had no plans, so it's fine, honest. Besides... 580 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:20,360 And I had no plans, so it's fine, honest. Besides... 581 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,480 somebody should stay and keep an eye on the place, so to speak. 582 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,120 (LAUGHTER) 583 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,000 And, of course, as co-coordinator of the Neighbourhood Watch, 584 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:28,720 And, of course, as co-coordinator of the Neighbourhood Watch, 585 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,280 I do feel duty bound to ensure that our homes 586 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,840 remain safe over the festive period 587 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,000 regardless of who is to blame for our current predicament. 588 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,720 regardless of who is to blame for our current predicament. 589 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,640 You know, that is, after all, 590 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,000 what any decent co-coordinator should do. 591 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,880 what any decent co-coordinator should do. 592 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,960 (MURMURING) 593 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,000 And of course, as co... 594 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,720 And of course, as co... 595 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,520 co-coordinator, I will, um... 596 00:23:55,560 --> 00:24:00,000 gladly match Scott's kind offer 597 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:00,960 gladly match Scott's kind offer 598 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,680 and share those... 599 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,320 responsibilities. 600 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,000 Gladly. 601 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:08,240 Gladly. 602 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,880 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 603 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,280 Looks like we're imposing on my mum again. 604 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,000 Yeah. About that. 605 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:16,120 Yeah. About that. 606 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,000 Turns out I'm going to have to stay, sort of, 607 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,000 here for Christmas. What? Why? 608 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:24,160 here for Christmas. What? Why? 609 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,480 Well, Scott sort of offered. 610 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,720 Oh, Scott, yeah, of course. Should have known. 611 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,000 Not content with ruining Christmas, you're what, 612 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,040 Not content with ruining Christmas, you're what, 613 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,360 you're now abandoning us as well? 614 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,120 And somehow that's all... 615 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,320 that's all Scott's fault too, yeah? 616 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,000 Well, we could all stay here. 617 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,160 Well, we could all stay here. 618 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,760 You know, sort of camp out in the house. 619 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,160 Bit of an adventure. Might be fun. 620 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,800 Alright, think of Chloe. I'm sure she'd rather stay here 621 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,480 as a family, than schlep off to Gran- Grandma's please! 622 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,000 (SIGHS) 623 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,320 Maybe it's a good thing. 624 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,000 Few days apart. Some time to think. 625 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,000 Few days apart. Some time to think. 626 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,360 What do you need to think about? No... 627 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,880 Not me. You. 628 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,000 For you to think... 629 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,760 For you to think... 630 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,640 about what's more important: your family or your obsession 631 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,280 with the bloke over the road. 632 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,120 (TENSE MUSIC) 633 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,800 So, you want a thin, continuous line and apply firm, but equal- 634 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,000 STACEY: Ashleigh. You can't avoid police attention 635 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:36,360 STACEY: Ashleigh. You can't avoid police attention 636 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,520 AND be an influencer. (DISTANT CLATTERING) 637 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,080 Aye, aye! There it is, there it is. 638 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,640 I've got about four... four quid. 639 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,000 I told ya. They all use the app. 640 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:44,720 I told ya. They all use the app. 641 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,200 Seriously, Does no one in this family know how to steal anymore? 642 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,640 Uh, I nicked these off some girl in the park. 643 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:52,000 Take 'em down pawn shop? 644 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,280 Take 'em down pawn shop? 645 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,000 They're engraved, genius. 646 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,640 Oh. 647 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,000 Chlo-Chlo-Pops. 648 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,400 Chlo-Chlo-Pops. 649 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,080 TV REPORTER: ..that left the entire street without electricity. 650 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,000 I was in the middle of making tea, and suddenly everything went black. 651 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,560 I was in the middle of making tea, and suddenly everything went black. 652 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,640 It was absolutely astounding. 653 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,000 Everything went out. The whole electricity, 654 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,080 Everything went out. The whole electricity, 655 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:20,280 the power, everything. Gone. 656 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:21,840 Barry. BOTH: Yeah? 657 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,560 Not you junior, Big Barry. Oh. 658 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,000 Come here. Have you seen this? 659 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,480 Come here. Have you seen this? 660 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,360 What is it, Stace? Everything was lovely and suddenly, 661 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,000 poof, bang, everything black. 662 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:32,400 poof, bang, everything black. 663 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,520 No electricity, nothing. 664 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,280 No lights. Why do we care about that old bag? 665 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,640 Oi. Show some respect... 666 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,000 It's not about the old bag, it's what she's saying. 667 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,120 It's not about the old bag, it's what she's saying. 668 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:48,000 ..the entire street has had to up-sticks and make other plans. 669 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:48,160 ..the entire street has had to up-sticks and make other plans. 670 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:52,400 The entire street is shipping out for Christmas. Which means... 671 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,120 an entire road of empty houses. 672 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,000 Oh... 673 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,680 Oh... 674 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,800 Oh... No. 675 00:26:58,840 --> 00:26:59,840 I dunno, love. 676 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,720 You've only just got out. 677 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,000 If you do this and you get pinched for it, 678 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,040 If you do this and you get pinched for it, 679 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,760 they're gonna throw the book at you. 680 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,120 Yeah. But no-one's getting pinched. 681 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,000 Power's out, you see. 682 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:12,120 Power's out, you see. 683 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:17,440 So it's not just "no witnesses", it's no lights, no alarms... 684 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,000 ..and no security cameras. 685 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:20,200 ..and no security cameras. 686 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,600 (MENACING MUSIC) It's a Christmas miracle. 687 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,120 (LAUGHS) BOTH: Sound. 688 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,280 (DOWNBEAT MUSIC) 689 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,400 SUE 1: Thanks for nothing! 690 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,000 (DISTANT LAUGHTER) 691 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,640 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 692 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,520 So, wet in the morning, dry at night. 693 00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:00,000 Huh?Oh sorry, um, pouch in the morning, dry food at night. 694 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,360 Huh?Oh sorry, um, pouch in the morning, dry food at night. 695 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,960 Oh yeah, got ya. Understood, no problem. 696 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000 Scotty boy's on it. 697 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,960 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY, SIGHS) 698 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,800 Are you sure you're gonna be OK? 699 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,200 Oh, we'll be fine, won't we mate? (CAT PURRING) 700 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,880 This is him, yeah? Yeah, that's him. 701 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,600 Only, um... 702 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,800 I could always... stay? 703 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,000 You know, if you needed some company or, um... 704 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,200 You know, if you needed some company or, um... 705 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,680 I could just cook or. No, no, no, no, no, it's fine. 706 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:32,000 OK.I've got to water the cat and feed the plants. You know... 707 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:32,160 OK.I've got to water the cat and feed the plants. You know... 708 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,720 Yeah 709 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,120 You just, um... 710 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,520 Have a nice Christmas. Oh, oh, you too. 711 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,400 We will be OK, won't we Laura? 712 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,440 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 713 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,800 (EAGLE SQUAWKS) 714 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,920 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC RESUMES) 715 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,440 (WIND WHISTLES) (GUNSHOT) 716 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,000 # Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer # 717 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:28,400 # Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer # 718 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,880 (WHISTLING TO TUNE OF "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer) 719 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,520 Ah! Ah... Ooh! 720 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,000 Ah! 721 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:52,080 Ah! 722 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,680 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 723 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,840 Extra large, double pepperoni, thin crust, with some mushrooms. 724 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000 Have you got some ice? You know, not on the pizza. 725 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,560 Have you got some ice? You know, not on the pizza. 726 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,480 Ha-ha. 727 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,640 (EXHALES) 728 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,000 Woah! 729 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,480 Woah! 730 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,960 (LAUGHS) 731 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,200 (SIGHS) 732 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:24,000 (GLASS SHATTERS) 733 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:24,760 (GLASS SHATTERS) 734 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,440 (SLURPS, CHUCKLES) 735 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,080 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 736 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,000 Pizza. 737 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:32,280 Pizza. 738 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,880 Merry Christmas. Yeah, same to you. 739 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,760 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 740 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,760 'Twas the night before Christmas 741 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:55,960 and I've got a feeling that no one was home... 742 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,600 So, let's do some stealing! 743 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,120 (LAUGHS) Yes! (MIMICS EXPLOSION) 744 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:10,160 # ..every fairytale comes real 745 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:12,000 # I've looked at love that way 746 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,240 # I've looked at love that way 747 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,000 # But now it's just another show- # 748 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,640 # But now it's just another show- # 749 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,440 (COMPUTER CHIMES) 750 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,000 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) BIG BARRY: Ha-ha! 751 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:28,800 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) BIG BARRY: Ha-ha! 752 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,320 Right, Brennans. 753 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,320 We split up and do a sweep. 754 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,000 Check for any stragglers. 755 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,000 We've got too many houses and not enough time, 756 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,880 We've got too many houses and not enough time, 757 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:42,720 so look for easy ways in: old locks, open windows- 758 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,000 Signs that say "burglars stop here". 759 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:44,920 Signs that say "burglars stop here". 760 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,000 (LAUGHS) Alright, keep the noise down. 761 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,360 (RADIO BLEEPS) Comms on channel 7. Any questions? 762 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,000 Do we get a break? 763 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:52,200 Do we get a break? 764 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:53,840 Yeah. 765 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,280 You had three years off, ending last Thursday. 766 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,640 (CAT PURRING) 767 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,520 (CAT YOWLS) 768 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,680 Filthy things. 769 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,000 Chicka-boom! 770 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:08,320 Chicka-boom! 771 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,920 (CAT PURRING) 772 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,760 See, no power. 773 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,880 No evidence. No prison. 774 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,000 Not this time. (LAUGHS) 775 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:24,120 Not this time. (LAUGHS) 776 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,160 Hello, woo-hoo! 777 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,840 (LAUGHS) 778 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,200 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 779 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,840 (WHISTLING) 780 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,520 Ooh, hello. What've we got here? 781 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:40,000 (GASPS) 782 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,560 (GASPS) 783 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,120 (PANTING) 784 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,640 (EXHALES, CHUCKLES) 785 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,000 Nearly. (CHUCKLES) Right. 786 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,520 Nearly. (CHUCKLES) Right. 787 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:53,920 Eenie-meenie-mini-mo, catch an elf by the... 788 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,600 Ooh! 789 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,000 That is a big telly. (CHUCKLES) 790 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,440 That is a big telly. (CHUCKLES) 791 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:03,040 I'll be coming back for you, my precious. 792 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,000 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 793 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:04,680 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 794 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,000 Oh, here we go. 795 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:12,040 Oh, here we go. 796 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,240 (AS LAURA) "Share your pizza with him". 797 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,880 No. 798 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,240 OK, fine! 799 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,880 (TENSE MUSIC) 800 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,080 (RADIO CRACKLES) All clear at number 8. 801 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,640 Have you checked the back? No. Doing it now. 802 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,000 Ugh, typical. 803 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:36,600 Ugh, typical. 804 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,480 # Carol of the Bells # 805 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,640 Hiya, I've got a pizza. No. 806 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,160 Hiya, I've got too much pizza. Ugh. 807 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,000 Hi, I was going to put this pizza in the bin. Don't mention the bins! 808 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:52,120 Hi, I was going to put this pizza in the bin. Don't mention the bins! 809 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:57,760 (BARRY GRUNTS) 810 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:00,000 (GROANS) 811 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,160 (GROANS) 812 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,960 (SNIFFLES) 813 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,280 PODCAST HOST: Welcome to this week's edition of We Don't Like Cricket, 814 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:16,000 and we're discussing the series that's just taken place 815 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,720 and we're discussing the series that's just taken place 816 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,160 between England and New Zealand. 817 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,920 We're going to chewing the cud all about this. My name is Ivan, 818 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,640 joined as always by the one and only... 819 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,200 PODCAST HOST 2: In many ways scoring 99 is better than scoring 100. 820 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:31,840 Loads of people score hundreds, not many people get out on 99. 821 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:32,000 Nobody tracks them. 822 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:32,880 Nobody tracks them. 823 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,080 Hey, Stace. This side doors got a lock that 824 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,000 looks like I could have fitted it. I think we've got a winner. 825 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,320 looks like I could have fitted it. I think we've got a winner. 826 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:47,040 Look, we're both grown-ups, it's Christmas... 827 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,920 ..you probably like pepperoni... 828 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,360 so why don't we, you know... Why don't we just... 829 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,000 Nope. Can't do it. 830 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,160 Nope. Can't do it. 831 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,000 Parnes Alarms. Get your mate Graham to buy you a pizza. 832 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:04,920 Parnes Alarms. Get your mate Graham to buy you a pizza. 833 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,480 Stick it on his invoice. 834 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,840 England and New Zealand really put on a show.Mm-hm. 835 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,520 Absolutely, both teams showcased... 836 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,000 (ASHLEIGH GRUNTS) I like this house. 837 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,320 (ASHLEIGH GRUNTS) I like this house. 838 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,120 Great, Barry. Let's try and get in it. 839 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,000 Give me some... Put your weight on here, mate. 840 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,640 Three, two, one, go... 841 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,000 England are really missing Jimmy Anderson. 842 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:28,920 England are really missing Jimmy Anderson. 843 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,800 (GRUNTS) STACEY: (OVER RADIO) Hold up... 844 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,800 Open window at number 4. Get over here. 845 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,560 What? Number 4. 846 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,000 Number 4, OK. (RADIO SCREECHES) 847 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,240 Number 4, OK. (RADIO SCREECHES) 848 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:41,240 PODCAST HOST 2: England'll continue to miss Jimmy Anderson until the heat death of the universe. 849 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:43,880 Alright, kid? (RADIO CRACKLES) 850 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:44,000 Sound. Sound.Keep quiet. 851 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,840 Sound. Sound.Keep quiet. 852 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,640 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 853 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,200 You'd know if you could count. 854 00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:52,000 Uh, he can roller-skate and you can't... 855 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:52,680 Uh, he can roller-skate and you can't... 856 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,040 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 857 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,000 Won't budge. Must be on the night latch. 858 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,120 Won't budge. Must be on the night latch. 859 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,920 (CHUCKLES) Aye! 860 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,160 There's a knack to these. Hold that. 861 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,000 Today. Thank you. 862 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:08,120 Today. Thank you. 863 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,520 Right. All it is, is... 864 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,440 Just need... 865 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,080 Just a little... 866 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,000 And then, you're.. 867 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,960 And then, you're.. 868 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,280 (GASPS) 869 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:23,760 ..in. 870 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:24,000 Ah, well. Thank God we had an expert. 871 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,840 Ah, well. Thank God we had an expert. 872 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:36,840 (PHONE PINGS) Call. Tom. Petty. 873 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,840 AUTOMATED VOICE: Calling Tom Petty. Shh! 874 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:40,000 (LINE DIALLING) (PANTING) 875 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,040 (LINE DIALLING) (PANTING) 876 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,080 (PHONE PLAYING "Halloween Theme") 877 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,080 Pick up. Pick up... Oh, pick up! 878 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,000 (PHONE CONTINUES PLAYING "Halloween Theme") 879 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,880 (PHONE CONTINUES PLAYING "Halloween Theme") 880 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,800 (PHONE BLEEPS) Pick up, pick up, pick up... 881 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,240 You useless git! 882 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,000 Seriously? Has it come to this? Neil! 883 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,720 Seriously? Has it come to this? Neil! 884 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,280 No, no, no. Listen, listen. (LINE CUTS OFF) 885 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,040 Hello? 886 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,920 Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no 887 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:12,000 Oh, very mature. (PHONE BLEEPS) 888 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,880 Oh, very mature. (PHONE BLEEPS) 889 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,520 You see this is why you don't get any pizza! 890 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,480 (WHIMPERS) 891 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,000 (CAT PURRING) 892 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,120 (CAT PURRING) 893 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,440 (DOOR CREAKING) 894 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,000 (PANTING) 895 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:36,240 (PANTING) 896 00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:38,480 (BANG AT DOOR) 897 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:44,000 (PANTING) 898 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,560 (PANTING) 899 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,200 Well, this is new. Oh... (PANTING) 900 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,240 There's somebody next door. At Bill and Janet's house. 901 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,040 Somebody's broken in! 902 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,000 No they haven't. They have! I heard them. 903 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,160 No they haven't. They have! I heard them. 904 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,920 Heard what? Smashing glass! 905 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,000 It'll be a fox in the greenhouse. No, no, no. 906 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:08,120 It'll be a fox in the greenhouse. No, no, no. 907 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,120 There was a radio I think, like a... (MIMICS RADIO SQUEALING) 908 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,640 Like a... Like a squeal. It'll be a fox. 909 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:15,600 I-It wasn't a fox! 910 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:16,000 Come on, we should at least check it out. 911 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,440 Come on, we should at least check it out. 912 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,280 We're the Neighbourhood Watch. 913 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,640 Fine! I'll take a look. 914 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:26,840 Woah, woah, woah, wait for me. 915 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,760 Here we go. 916 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,840 What are you doing? I'm knocking. 917 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,720 Why? Because you think someone's in there. 918 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,000 And if I'm right, it's armed robbers! 919 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:40,520 And if I'm right, it's armed robbers! 920 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,160 What if they answer? 921 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,880 Well, I don't know!I thought you were a security expert. 922 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,000 I sell alarms, I don't personally take down criminals. 923 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,720 I sell alarms, I don't personally take down criminals. 924 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,680 What you've done there is confuse me with a SWAT team. 925 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,000 Fat lot of good you are. 926 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,440 Fat lot of good you are. 927 00:38:58,040 --> 00:38:59,680 Well, what would you suggest? 928 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:02,960 Shh. 929 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,040 BIG BARRY: That's an answerphone. 930 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,000 (GASPS) Not an answerphone, it's... 931 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,600 (GASPS) Not an answerphone, it's... 932 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,720 Oh... 933 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,680 When you used to... LITTLE BARRY: Answer-what? 934 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:19,360 Have you got cake in your ears? Come on! 935 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,080 We need to call the police. 936 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,720 Ow! Watch the bins! 937 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,760 You wouldn't want to crack it! Not now... 938 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,160 Kill the torch. 939 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,000 I thought you said you'd checked number 8, you lazy git! 940 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:36,640 I thought you said you'd checked number 8, you lazy git! 941 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,320 I did! 942 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,920 Yeah. What with, your eyes shut? There's someone home. 943 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000 I'll sort it... 944 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,120 I'll sort it... 945 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,400 Ooh. Don't tell your mum. Don't tell Mum. 946 00:39:50,081 --> 00:39:52,000 (SNORING) (FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) 947 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,600 (SNORING) (FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) 948 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,960 (TAPE RIPS) 949 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,680 Look, I know Christmas is a bit different this year, and I'm sorry. 950 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,000 It's fine. 951 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:16,360 It's fine. 952 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,240 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 953 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,000 I just think your dad's just having a bit of a wobble. 954 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:24,320 I just think your dad's just having a bit of a wobble. 955 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,000 You know, it's ben a tricky time this year, with the whole 956 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,360 Cause for Alarms business... It's "Causes"... 957 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,000 And I think he just needs some time... 958 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:32,440 And I think he just needs some time... 959 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,520 But look, what I do know is that whatever happens, 960 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,520 however this plays out... 961 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:40,000 ..it's gonna be OK. Alright? 962 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,080 ..it's gonna be OK. Alright? 963 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,520 Promise. Yeah. 964 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,760 I think the best thing that you and I can do for Dad right now, 965 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,280 is to give him some space. 966 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,920 Some quiet time, to get his head together. 967 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:56,000 Burglars! At least two! Maybe more! 968 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,960 Burglars! At least two! Maybe more! 969 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,680 Definitely not foxes! 970 00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:02,200 Not foxes! How long will you be? 971 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,000 OK, just please, hurry! (HANGS UP PHONE) 972 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:04,160 OK, just please, hurry! (HANGS UP PHONE) 973 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,400 Wish it was foxes... The police are on their way. 974 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,520 They just said stay in the house. keep out of sight. 975 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,720 No one will even know we're in here. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 976 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,000 LITTLE BARRY: I know you're in there.(BOTH GASP) 977 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,480 LITTLE BARRY: I know you're in there.(BOTH GASP) 978 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:15,840 (PLAYFUL MUSIC) 979 00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,040 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 980 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,600 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (PHONE BLEEPS) 981 00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:51,120 Oi, are you letting me in, or are we gonna play a game? 982 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,000 Oh, no... (GASPS) 983 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,920 Oh, no... (GASPS) 984 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:55,560 Woah! 985 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,560 Little Barry Brennan! 986 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,000 Who?The Brennans. "The Devils of Davenport"? 987 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:00,840 Who?The Brennans. "The Devils of Davenport"? 988 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,720 Don't you read the papers? Oh no, I mean, not so much. 989 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,680 Local crime family. Hard as nails. 990 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:08,000 And that out there is the big one. 991 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:08,600 And that out there is the big one. 992 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,240 What? "Little Barry" is the big one? 993 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,320 Yes. Son of Big Barry. How big's Big Barry? 994 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,920 Oh, he's tiny. It's very confusing. But they're psychopaths, 995 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,000 the lot of them!You know, for a home security expert, 996 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,080 the lot of them!You know, for a home security expert, 997 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,480 you are not massively reassuring. Come on, you don't wanna wind me up. 998 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,040 Last warning! 999 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,000 Security! It's an X-50! 1000 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:24,160 Security! It's an X-50! 1001 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,680 What is? The front door. 1002 00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,240 I fitted an X-50, top of the range! 1003 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:31,440 That is a double-skinned, reinforced, tri-bar, steel trough rim lock door, 1004 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,000 with a 12-point dog latch and a five-lever mortice. 1005 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,640 with a 12-point dog latch and a five-lever mortice. 1006 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,600 A whole army couldn't get through that thing! 1007 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,000 (DOOR BANGS) Did you leave it on the latch? 1008 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,440 (DOOR BANGS) Did you leave it on the latch? 1009 00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,120 I think you know the answer to that. 1010 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,240 I know you're here! 1011 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,840 To the safe room. Oh, you beauty. 1012 00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:06,120 (PLAYFUL MUSIC) 1013 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,840 Mind the stairs! (THUD) 1014 00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,320 Wait! My phone! 1015 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,960 Leave it! 1016 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,000 Quick! Lock it! It doesn't lock. 1017 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:28,200 Quick! Lock it! It doesn't lock. 1018 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:30,080 I thought this was the "safe room"? 1019 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,760 No, it's the room that we keep the safe in. 1020 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,000 (SIGHS) You have got to be kidding me. 1021 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,120 (SIGHS) You have got to be kidding me. 1022 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,480 Are you sure you're in home security?Are you sure you know 1023 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,840 what home security means? Hello?Shh, shh, shh. 1024 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,080 (PHONE CHIMES) 1025 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:13,720 (CHUCKLES) 1026 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,000 (PHONE WHOOSHES) 1027 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:16,680 (PHONE WHOOSHES) 1028 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,360 (PHONE CRACKS) 1029 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,000 (PHONE BUZZES, CHIMES) 1030 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,640 (TENSE MUSIC) 1031 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,240 Little pig... 1032 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,000 Little pig... 1033 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:32,720 Little pig... 1034 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:35,760 Let me come in. 1035 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,440 He's on the stairs. 1036 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,000 Stop hiding, little pig. 1037 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:40,080 Stop hiding, little pig. 1038 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:42,720 Where the hell are the cops? 1039 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,360 The average police response time is 16.4 minutes. 1040 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:48,000 It's a good stat for sales. 1041 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,120 It's a good stat for sales. 1042 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,120 It's not a good stat for us! 1043 00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,600 What have you got that could be a weapon?Nothing. 1044 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,000 It's a spare room. Just caps, alarms, a big box of mugs. 1045 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,040 It's a spare room. Just caps, alarms, a big box of mugs. 1046 00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,000 Little pig, little pig... 1047 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:04,120 Little pig, little pig... 1048 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,880 Hang on... "Little pig". 1049 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,800 What? Not "little pigs", "little pig". 1050 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:12,000 Singular. So? 1051 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,000 Singular. So? 1052 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,840 He thinks there's only one of us. 1053 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,000 Come on little pig... Don't make me blow it down. 1054 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,200 Come on little pig... Don't make me blow it down. 1055 00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:23,880 OK! OK, I give up. 1056 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,960 Just open the door. It's not locked. 1057 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,640 Just take what you want. I don't want any trouble. 1058 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,000 Sorry mate, you've seen my face now. 1059 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:36,760 Sorry mate, you've seen my face now. 1060 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,440 No. No, I haven't. 1061 00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,560 I can't see anything, I'm blind. Yeah, right. 1062 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,000 What do I look like, some sort of- 1063 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,680 What do I look like, some sort of- 1064 00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:47,320 (MUGS SHATTER) 1065 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,160 "Mug"? Did you get him? 1066 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,000 Yup! Yes!Come on! 1067 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:52,720 Yup! Yes!Come on! 1068 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,360 # Run Rudolph Run # 1069 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,600 Mind the stairs! Oh! 1070 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,480 # Run, run, Rudolph 1071 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,000 # Santa ain't too far behind... 1072 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:09,560 # Santa ain't too far behind... 1073 00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:13,560 We need to leg it. Grab hold. 1074 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,200 (BOTH WHIMPERING) 1075 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:16,000 What's happening? Oh, more Brennans. 1076 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,840 What's happening? Oh, more Brennans. 1077 00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:19,880 Change of plan. We need to hide. 1078 00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:22,840 In the Sierra! 1079 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:24,000 Woo! Get in! 1080 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,560 Woo! Get in! 1081 00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,200 Owwww! 1082 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,000 # Said Santa to a boy, "Child, what have you been longing for?" 1083 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,800 # Said Santa to a boy, "Child, what have you been longing for?" 1084 00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,000 # "All I want for Christmas is a rock and roll electric guitar" 1085 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:40,960 # "All I want for Christmas is a rock and roll electric guitar" 1086 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,960 # And then away went Rudolph... 1087 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:46,200 (DISTANT SIREN WAILING) 1088 00:46:46,240 --> 00:46:47,560 Oh... What's that noise? 1089 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:48,000 I don't know. 1090 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:48,920 I don't know. 1091 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:50,960 Oh God, I'm going to die in a Sierra. 1092 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,600 (SIREN WAILING) 1093 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:06,920 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1094 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,360 Oh, thank God. Woah, woah, woah! 1095 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,000 Let's actually wait until they've arrested the big angry man 1096 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,600 Let's actually wait until they've arrested the big angry man 1097 00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,320 who wants to kill us, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1098 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:23,200 It really must be Christmas. 1099 00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:25,640 They've only gone and sent the PCSOs. 1100 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:28,000 "Hobby Bobbies". "Hobby Bobbies"? 1101 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,040 "Hobby Bobbies". "Hobby Bobbies"? 1102 00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:43,280 I'll call for back up. 1103 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,800 Merry Christmas, officers. 1104 00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:52,000 Evening sir. We received a report of a disturbance at this address. 1105 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,160 Evening sir. We received a report of a disturbance at this address. 1106 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,280 Someone heard something being smashed. 1107 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,400 Did they? Smashed, you say. 1108 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:00,000 Um, well, no, no. 1109 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,760 Um, well, no, no. 1110 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,560 It's probably nothing sir, but perhaps we could just pop in 1111 00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,760 and check your windows? Make sure you're safe. 1112 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:08,000 Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no... 1113 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,920 Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no... 1114 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,000 because... (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 1115 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,640 Oh! 1116 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,000 Good evening, officers. 1117 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,000 That's my lady wife. 1118 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:24,560 That's my lady wife. 1119 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:26,360 Bit of a collision. 1120 00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:28,200 No lights, you see. 1121 00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:30,080 Are you alright to be here on your own? 1122 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,000 Absolutely.Yep. What with no lights, no heating? 1123 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,400 Absolutely.Yep. What with no lights, no heating? 1124 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,920 Yeah, no, well, what it is actually is we're not actually staying here 1125 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,000 because our daughter is on her way. 1126 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:40,400 because our daughter is on her way. 1127 00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,040 From Frome. 1128 00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:47,720 Yes. So, we're going to stay with them until the 27th or 28th. 1129 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,640 In Frome. Or the 29th. 1130 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,920 Then we shall be coming home. 1131 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,400 BOTH: From Frome. 1132 00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,000 Well, if you're sure you're OK? 1133 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,120 Well, if you're sure you're OK? 1134 00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:58,880 Yes, fine. Very happy. 1135 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,960 Fine, thank you. Very... Yes. 1136 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:04,000 Merry Christmas! Ta-ta. 1137 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,480 Merry Christmas! Ta-ta. 1138 00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:10,320 I'll tell you what... Huh? 1139 00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:12,000 The Sarge knocks off at 6:00, lives on Rowan Avenue. 1140 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,080 The Sarge knocks off at 6:00, lives on Rowan Avenue. 1141 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,760 I'll ask him to swing by on his way home, check everything's OK. 1142 00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,360 Oh, no. That's fine. There's no need. 1143 00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,000 He might be a bit tipsy, but he won't mind at all. 1144 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,480 He might be a bit tipsy, but he won't mind at all. 1145 00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,600 Merry Christmas, take care. Merry Christmas! 1146 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,000 BOTH: Merry Christmas! 1147 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,760 The... The police are leaving! 1148 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,560 What? Well, stop them then! 1149 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,600 Ah! It won't unlock! 1150 00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,440 Oh... This is a terrible car! 1151 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,800 Hang on! Wait! Wait! 1152 00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:44,000 Here. Try mine! It's central locking! It won't... 1153 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,040 Here. Try mine! It's central locking! It won't... 1154 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:49,680 You've got your hand on the... Ow! 1155 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,360 (DOORS UNLOCK) 1156 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,000 (GASPS) 1157 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,080 (GASPS) 1158 00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:55,880 He's back! Who is? Big Barry? 1159 00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,800 No, Little Barry: the big one. 1160 00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:00,000 We need to get out of here. 1161 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,600 We need to get out of here. 1162 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,840 I say we make a run for it. With the whackjob Waltons out there? 1163 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,840 No, thank you. Well, what shall we do then? 1164 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:08,000 I don't know. 1165 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,040 I don't know. 1166 00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,960 (GASPS) 1167 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,920 I don't suppose this rust bucket has got airbags and an alarm, does it? 1168 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,000 It's got all the extras. It's a top of the range rust bucket. 1169 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,960 It's got all the extras. It's a top of the range rust bucket. 1170 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,520 I've got an idea... 1171 00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,160 (SNEAKY MUSIC) 1172 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,760 (ALARM BLARING) 1173 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:32,000 BIG BARRY: (OVER RADIO) Whatever that is, shut it up!I'll sort it. 1174 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000 BIG BARRY: (OVER RADIO) Whatever that is, shut it up!I'll sort it. 1175 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:40,000 Gotcha. 1176 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,160 Gotcha. 1177 00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:55,920 # We're walking in the air 1178 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:56,000 # We're floating in the moonlit sky... # 1179 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:59,920 # We're floating in the moonlit sky... # 1180 00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:01,920 Snow escape, bozo! 1181 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:06,800 (GRUNTING) 1182 00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:10,640 Is he secure? 1183 00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,000 Yes! 1184 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:12,360 Yes! 1185 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,440 Quick, in the shed. (MUFFLED YELLING) 1186 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,240 I'm just saying that if we leave a couple of houses, that would- 1187 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,640 ..defeat the object. We go big or go home... 1188 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:20,000 And we're not going home. Ash, bring the van round. 1189 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,160 And we're not going home. Ash, bring the van round. 1190 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,000 But we've got the dibble at 6:00. 1191 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:25,840 I don't think we've got enough time. 1192 00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:27,480 Then we split up. 1193 00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,320 What, over this? (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1194 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,080 I don't want to. I love you, Stace. 1195 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,200 No. I mean I'll take this end with Fanny-Anne, 1196 00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:41,240 and you boys take number five. 1197 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,520 Oh, right. Ooh, the big telly! 1198 00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,320 Yeah, I'll get the big telly. On your own? 1199 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,440 It's the same size as you. (RADIO CRACKLES) 1200 00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,880 Junior, can you get backside over to number five please? 1201 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,560 Your dad's about to wreck a very nice television. 1202 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,000 We're here, in you go. (LAUGHS GLEEFULLY) 1203 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,080 We're here, in you go. (LAUGHS GLEEFULLY) 1204 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,200 Ah, yes! Watch your head. 1205 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,000 What now? Yeah, well, I was just thinking that. 1206 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:08,160 What now? Yeah, well, I was just thinking that. 1207 00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,120 Right, my plan would be... to wait here... 1208 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,200 Right? Until it gets light. 1209 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:20,320 That's it? That's your plan? They're out there ransacking 1210 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,640 our entire street and you just want to hide in here? 1211 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,000 We need to do something. We are the Neighbourhood Watch. 1212 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,320 We need to do something. We are the Neighbourhood Watch. 1213 00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:29,040 Exactly. Neighbourhood "Watch". It's not Neighbourhood "Do", is it? 1214 00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,080 And even if it was, we've done plenty. 1215 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:32,000 We phoned the police, for all the good they were, and we have 1216 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,520 We phoned the police, for all the good they were, and we have 1217 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:35,600 gaffer-taped a thug to a Sierra. I think we've done 1218 00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,960 more than our fair share, and now its time 1219 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,000 for a little self preservation, thank you very much. 1220 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,120 for a little self preservation, thank you very much. 1221 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,600 But our neighbours- Are insured! And will completely 1222 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,240 understand our desire to remain alive. 1223 00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:47,880 (SIGHS) Fine. 1224 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:51,920 OK. If you can live with that. 1225 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:53,720 Yeah. I can. 1226 00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,000 Ooh, I can see the headlines now: 1227 00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:56,640 Ooh, I can see the headlines now: 1228 00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:03,400 "Security expert hides in shed while own street ransacked". Ha, yeah. 1229 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:06,840 That wouldn't be a headline. It's too long. 1230 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,680 "Alarm Coward's Shed Shame". 1231 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:12,000 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, that's better. 1232 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:12,160 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, that's better. 1233 00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,440 Ooh, he'd probably frame it, you know... 1234 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,280 In his shop. 1235 00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,040 Graham. 1236 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,600 We need a plan. 1237 00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:28,000 (EXCITING MUSIC) 1238 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,440 (EXCITING MUSIC) 1239 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,000 BIG BARRY: Come on. Come to Daddy. 1240 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,120 BIG BARRY: Come on. Come to Daddy. 1241 00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,240 Resistance is futile. 1242 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,240 (DOOR CLOSES) 1243 00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,040 Oh, finally! 1244 00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:52,000 Come give us a hand son. Or maybe you could give us a hand? 1245 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,400 Come give us a hand son. Or maybe you could give us a hand? 1246 00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:00,000 In fact, make it both of them. 1247 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:00,800 In fact, make it both of them. 1248 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:03,960 Who the hell are you? 1249 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:06,680 BOTH: Neighbourhood Watch. 1250 00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,080 Blimey. You lot got serious. 1251 00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,040 Cuff him, Rocco. Um, yeah. 1252 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,000 Do you think it would be better if maybe you... 1253 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,600 Do you think it would be better if maybe you... 1254 00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:21,240 Actually, yeah. 1255 00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:23,440 I'll cuff him. You cover him. 1256 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,000 Keep still sunshine. 1257 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,720 This doesn't need to hurt. (GRUNTS) 1258 00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:48,000 (YELPS) (GRUNTING) 1259 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,840 (YELPS) (GRUNTING) 1260 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,240 (BOTH GROANING) 1261 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,000 Grab him! Get him off me! Gah! 1262 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:56,520 Grab him! Get him off me! Gah! 1263 00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,360 Grab him! 1264 00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,000 (HEROIC MUSIC) 1265 00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,000 (YELLS) 1266 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:04,480 (YELLS) 1267 00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:06,440 I've got him! I've got him! 1268 00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:09,840 No, I've got him! No! He's got me. I've got him! 1269 00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:12,000 LAURA: There's nothing there. Well, she's deleted it now, 1270 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,160 LAURA: There's nothing there. Well, she's deleted it now, 1271 00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,880 but you could see Dad's Sierra 1272 00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,040 Well, there are other Sierra's in the world. 1273 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:20,000 Not in that condition. And he's used the wrong "your". 1274 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:20,560 Not in that condition. And he's used the wrong "your". 1275 00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:22,360 He's put "your" instead of "you are". 1276 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:25,080 Chloe, he says he's fine. The last thing we need is another 1277 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,000 delusional neurotic in the family. Just... stop fretting. 1278 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:28,280 delusional neurotic in the family. Just... stop fretting. 1279 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,480 Ah, forget it. Chloe... 1280 00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,480 (TENSE MUSIC) 1281 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:36,000 STACEY: Looks like we've got ourselves some witnesses 1282 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:36,880 STACEY: Looks like we've got ourselves some witnesses 1283 00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:40,080 I've seen nothing. I'd make a terrible witness me, awful. 1284 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,680 I don't know who any of you are. Seriously? 1285 00:55:42,720 --> 00:55:44,000 You're cosying up to the Brennans. Well, he knows who we are now. 1286 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,880 You're cosying up to the Brennans. Well, he knows who we are now. 1287 00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:50,200 Oh, brilliant. Another masterclass from the so called expert. 1288 00:55:50,240 --> 00:55:52,000 Expert at what? 1289 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,280 Evidently nothing. (BOTH GROAN) 1290 00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:57,080 Cause for Alarms? 1291 00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,920 (WEAKLY) Causes. 1292 00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:00,000 You didn't tell me these were branded! 1293 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,000 You didn't tell me these were branded! 1294 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,520 Shut up, Graham! 1295 00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,160 Eh? Graham? 1296 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,440 One of your cameras... 1297 00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:08,000 put me behind bars for three years, Neil. 1298 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,760 put me behind bars for three years, Neil. 1299 00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:14,760 I can only apologise for the excellent resolution. 1300 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,000 No apology necessary. 1301 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,640 No apology necessary. 1302 00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:20,320 It makes all this a lot easier. 1303 00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:24,000 So, shall we get started? 1304 00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,120 So, shall we get started? 1305 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:31,400 We've only got a few hours, they're going nowhere. 1306 00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:35,960 You're right. Let's finish the job, then we'll finish them. 1307 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,680 I'll be back. 1308 00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:40,000 Right, I'll take this telly. (STRAINING) Come here love. 1309 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,360 Right, I'll take this telly. (STRAINING) Come here love. 1310 00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,920 Oh, yeah. 1311 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,000 Oh, quality, that. 1312 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,000 Oh, quality, that. 1313 00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,720 Friend of yours? Not really. 1314 00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,080 Shame... You'll be seeing him soon. 1315 00:57:04,685 --> 00:57:06,280 (LIGHT FESTIVE MUSIC) 1316 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:52,000 We could be in a nice warm shed now. 1317 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,440 We could be in a nice warm shed now. 1318 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,120 Sitting pretty. 1319 00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:59,200 But oh, no, you had to act the big hero. 1320 00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:00,000 Me?! None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried 1321 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,800 Me?! None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried 1322 00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,840 to blow up the whole street. Well, I had to try something 1323 00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,000 after you'd turned the whole neighbourhood against me. 1324 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,000 after you'd turned the whole neighbourhood against me. 1325 00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,800 Oh, I think you did that all on your own, mate. 1326 00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:13,760 Don't you "mate" me! 1327 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,000 Everything was fine until you moved in with your weird little vendetta. 1328 00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:19,080 Everything was fine until you moved in with your weird little vendetta. 1329 00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:23,760 No one gave a damn about my Sierra until you started stirring things up. 1330 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:24,000 I mean, why? You can't even see it! Why does it matter to you 1331 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:29,040 I mean, why? You can't even see it! Why does it matter to you 1332 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,880 what I put on my own front drive- It wasn't me! 1333 00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,600 What? It wasn't me... 1334 00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:40,000 ..who complained about the car. 1335 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:40,840 ..who complained about the car. 1336 00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:43,560 It was John. 1337 00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:48,000 He said he got sick of it sitting there rusting away. 1338 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,880 He said he got sick of it sitting there rusting away. 1339 00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,000 It was him that phoned the council. 1340 00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:56,000 Why didn't... 1341 00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:56,360 Why didn't... 1342 00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,840 Well, why didn't you say something before? 1343 00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:01,720 I thought about it... 1344 00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:04,000 ..but you've seen it. 1345 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,280 ..but you've seen it. 1346 00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,000 How people are with me. 1347 00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:10,560 Yeah, they're nice. 1348 00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,000 Bringing in your shopping, taking you to the pub, 1349 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,040 Bringing in your shopping, taking you to the pub, 1350 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,320 helping with your lights... 1351 00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:17,720 It's kind is it? 1352 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,000 And why are they so nice? 1353 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:20,200 And why are they so nice? 1354 00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:23,440 Is it cos I'm nice? 1355 00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:28,000 People just treat you different when you're... different. 1356 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,600 People just treat you different when you're... different. 1357 00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:35,200 Well, not everyone. I mean, Suki always took people 1358 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:36,000 as she found them. Who the hell's Suki? 1359 00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,360 as she found them. Who the hell's Suki? 1360 00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,800 My wife... 1361 00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:44,000 Well, late wife. 1362 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:44,200 Well, late wife. 1363 00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:46,720 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 1364 00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:51,760 She was funny, warm. 1365 00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:54,520 But straight-talking. 1366 00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:56,840 My daughter's the same. 1367 00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:00,000 Oh. I- Holly. 1368 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:00,640 Oh. I- Holly. 1369 01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,640 She's studying Law at Leeds. 1370 01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,280 That's why I moved here. Just to be a bit closer. 1371 01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,080 And don't get me wrong, they're nice around here. 1372 01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,240 But I could take a dump in their living room, 1373 01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,800 and they'd be like, "Oh, don't worry about that, that's OK." 1374 01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:16,000 they were gonna let me run the Neighbourhood Watch, for God's sake. 1375 01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,720 they were gonna let me run the Neighbourhood Watch, for God's sake. 1376 01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:24,000 You can almost smell the sympathy sometimes... But not you. 1377 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:24,280 You can almost smell the sympathy sometimes... But not you. 1378 01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:27,280 You didn't give a toss. 1379 01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:30,280 I mean in my defence, I've been going through 1380 01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:32,000 quite a bad time over the last few months 1381 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:32,560 quite a bad time over the last few months 1382 01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:34,200 No, it's good. 1383 01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:37,520 I think I need it, a bit of that, now it's just me. 1384 01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:40,000 (SIGHS) So, maybe I let you think the worst of me. 1385 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,200 (SIGHS) So, maybe I let you think the worst of me. 1386 01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:45,440 Kept things a bit difficult between us. Like a guarantee. 1387 01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,000 That I'd always be that git over the road... 1388 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:48,800 That I'd always be that git over the road... 1389 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:51,600 and you'd never start talking to me like I'm the poor blind guy 1390 01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,200 from number 3. Because I'm not, you know. 1391 01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,000 I am Scott Patrick Dixon, and I nicked your bin. 1392 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,040 I am Scott Patrick Dixon, and I nicked your bin. 1393 01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,200 I bloody knew it! 1394 01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,360 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 1395 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,440 Sorry you lost your wife. 1396 01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,480 (SIGHS) Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. 1397 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,560 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1398 01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:27,840 Right. Push against me. 1399 01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,600 What's happening? We are getting out of here. 1400 01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:33,960 Oh, now you're talking! On 3... 1401 01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,400 2... BOTH: 1! 1402 01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:36,000 (BOTH YELLING) 1403 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,040 (BOTH YELLING) 1404 01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:42,040 Right. Now bounce to your right. OK! 1405 01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:44,000 What are you doing? Well, your right or my right? 1406 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,920 What are you doing? Well, your right or my right? 1407 01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:47,920 No, no! Not my right. Your left! 1408 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:49,840 Sorry. How far? 1409 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,000 Oh, follow me, just... This isn't working! 1410 01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:52,280 Oh, follow me, just... This isn't working! 1411 01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,840 (BOTH PANTING) 1412 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,520 I think we can burn through the cable ties, but... 1413 01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:00,000 Do you think you can catch a lighter? I'm a pretty good catch mate. 1414 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,520 Do you think you can catch a lighter? I'm a pretty good catch mate. 1415 01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:03,440 I play a bit of cricket. But you're... 1416 01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:04,800 Yeah, I know. It's a thing. 1417 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,640 OK. Here we go then, 1418 01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:08,000 Right. Ready?Yep... 1419 01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,000 Right. Ready?Yep... 1420 01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:11,640 Now! 1421 01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,040 Well, did you catch it? 1422 01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,000 Oh it was very wide... 1423 01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:16,160 Oh it was very wide... 1424 01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:18,840 but, luckily, one of us is a professional! 1425 01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:21,160 Oh, you little beaut! 1426 01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:23,480 Stay still. 1427 01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:27,960 Oh! (BOTH PANTING) 1428 01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:31,160 Right. They said a few hours. 1429 01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:32,000 Which means we haven't got long. Do you think it's enough time? 1430 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,520 Which means we haven't got long. Do you think it's enough time? 1431 01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:39,280 Maybe. If we just... you know, work together. 1432 01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:40,000 I'm game if you are. 1433 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:40,800 I'm game if you are. 1434 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,880 Do you reckon we could get them back to my place? 1435 01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,760 I've got a few ideas but it would need to be on home turf, 1436 01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,000 where I know my way around. Back to yours it is. Oh, and... 1437 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,120 where I know my way around. Back to yours it is. Oh, and... 1438 01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,280 ..while we're being honest, that postman, the other day... 1439 01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,080 that was me. 1440 01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:56,000 How stupid do you think I am? 1441 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,240 How stupid do you think I am? 1442 01:02:58,400 --> 01:02:59,760 I know more about what's going on 1443 01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,400 around me than you will ever realise. 1444 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:07,000 Oh! What are you doing? Eh! Eh! 1445 01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,640 Get off! Idiot! 1446 01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,280 (EXCITING MUSIC) 1447 01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:29,800 (DRILL WHIRRING) 1448 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,320 All we need now is some burglars. 1449 01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:34,720 (DRILL WHIRRS) 1450 01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,000 (SNORING) 1451 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:36,360 (SNORING) 1452 01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,200 (GRUNTING) Shh! Shh! 1453 01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,800 Shh... Listen, Little Barry. 1454 01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:44,000 If we take this out your mouth, do you promise not to scream? 1455 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,080 If we take this out your mouth, do you promise not to scream? 1456 01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:47,640 OK. 1457 01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,000 Mum-m-m-m! 1458 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:52,960 Mum-m-m-m! 1459 01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,520 Alright, I owe you a tenner. 1460 01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:00,000 Oi, you two. Go find him! 1461 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:00,240 Oi, you two. Go find him! 1462 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,400 # RAY CHARLES: Mess Around # 1463 01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,120 BIG BARRY: There! 1464 01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:18,560 Son? (GRUNTING) 1465 01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:24,000 Barry? 1466 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:24,640 Barry? 1467 01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,760 (YELLS) (SCREAMS) 1468 01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:31,760 I'm blind! Join the club. 1469 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:32,000 Where's the walkie? I can't find it! (GRUNTS) 1470 01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,280 Where's the walkie? I can't find it! (GRUNTS) 1471 01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:35,880 (SCREAMS) This way big man. 1472 01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:38,320 Try not to be so clumsy. 1473 01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:40,000 Dad down, number three. Come here! 1474 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,880 Dad down, number three. Come here! 1475 01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:45,240 # ..They did the boogie-woogie 1476 01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:46,600 # With a steady roll 1477 01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:48,000 # They mess around 1478 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:48,240 # They mess around 1479 01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:51,200 # They doin' the mess around... # Oi! Come 'ere! 1480 01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:54,840 (SHRIEKS) 1481 01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:56,000 (SCREAMS) 1482 01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:57,840 Come here! No! 1483 01:04:57,880 --> 01:04:59,480 Stop it. Argh! (STRAINING) 1484 01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:02,360 Oh, don't... Here! 1485 01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:04,000 No point struggling. I've done rodeo. (SCREAMS) 1486 01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:04,960 No point struggling. I've done rodeo. (SCREAMS) 1487 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,880 What are you doing?! 1488 01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:08,480 Argh! 1489 01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:12,000 No! What are you doing?! 1490 01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:12,520 No! What are you doing?! 1491 01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,360 Give me my legs. Give me my legs back! 1492 01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:18,840 (LIGHTS PLAYING "Jingle Bells") Dad! Dad! 1493 01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:20,000 Huh?! Dad! Dad! 1494 01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,520 Huh?! Dad! Dad! 1495 01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:24,720 OK.Dad... OK.Pull! 1496 01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:26,840 (SHRIEKS) 1497 01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:28,000 Dad? Dad... 1498 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:28,800 Dad? Dad... 1499 01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:30,960 You! (LAUGHS) 1500 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,640 Get me out! (GROANS) 1501 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,680 Dad? Come here, you! 1502 01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:37,640 Dad? Dad! 1503 01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,720 (YELLS, THEN GRUNTS) 1504 01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:47,200 Argh! What are you doing?! Taking what's mine! 1505 01:05:47,240 --> 01:05:49,000 Well, Chloe's. 1506 01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:51,160 And stealing something... 1507 01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:52,000 No, no, not my phone! Not my phone! 1508 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,080 No, no, not my phone! Not my phone! 1509 01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:56,680 You started this! Put it back! 1510 01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:58,320 Put my phone back now! 1511 01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:00,000 What's your code? As if I'd tell you! 1512 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:00,840 What's your code? As if I'd tell you! 1513 01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:03,120 Fine. I'll use your face! (STRAINING) 1514 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:09,960 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1515 01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:17,360 (GRUNTS) 1516 01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,920 Go get 'em mum! 1517 01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:21,880 Ow! 1518 01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:30,840 # Carol of the Bells # 1519 01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:37,800 (GROANS) 1520 01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,000 I know every floorboard in this room. 1521 01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:40,240 I know every floorboard in this room. 1522 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:45,440 Every creak, every crack, every squeak of a nail. 1523 01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,000 So why don't you come over here, and try and take this wicket... 1524 01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:50,280 So why don't you come over here, and try and take this wicket... 1525 01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:53,360 I dare you. 1526 01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,160 Ooh! (GROANS) 1527 01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:11,320 (LAUGHS) 1528 01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:12,000 (BONES CRACK) 1529 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:12,960 (BONES CRACK) 1530 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:16,040 (GROWLS) 1531 01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:28,000 Ah! (GROANING) Had enough yet? 1532 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:28,640 Ah! (GROANING) Had enough yet? 1533 01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:31,280 Ahhh... 1534 01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:33,120 (GROANS) 1535 01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:34,840 Mm... I'm waiting. 1536 01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:36,000 (GROWLS) 1537 01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:36,360 (GROWLS) 1538 01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:57,240 (GROANS) 1539 01:07:57,280 --> 01:08:00,000 Couple of googlies? (GROANING) 1540 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:00,040 Couple of googlies? (GROANING) 1541 01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:03,000 (SHRIEKS, THEN GROANS) 1542 01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:08,000 Yes, yes, yes, that's right. 1543 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:08,720 Yes, yes, yes, that's right. 1544 01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:12,120 Yeah, it's 3 Staplethorne Close. 1545 01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:16,000 It's over! 1546 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:16,480 It's over! 1547 01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:19,760 I'm on the phone to the police right now, so you may as well... 1548 01:08:19,800 --> 01:08:21,400 (PHONE BUZZING) 1549 01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:26,760 (WHISTLES) 1550 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:32,000 There ain't no one coming to rescue you now, pal. 1551 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:33,320 There ain't no one coming to rescue you now, pal. 1552 01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:35,560 It's just you and me 1553 01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:44,920 Where do you think you're going? Narnia? 1554 01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:48,000 (YELLS) 1555 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:48,480 (YELLS) 1556 01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,440 £200 plus VAT. 1557 01:09:03,480 --> 01:09:04,000 But you can't put a price on peace of mind. 1558 01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:05,520 But you can't put a price on peace of mind. 1559 01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:07,960 Oh, and close the door when you're using the bathroom eh? 1560 01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,000 (GRUNTING) 1561 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:12,320 (GRUNTING) 1562 01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:14,960 No! 1563 01:09:18,480 --> 01:09:20,000 No! 1564 01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:20,080 No! 1565 01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:24,280 I've done my time! 1566 01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:27,840 (SCREAMS) (GLASS SHATTERS) 1567 01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:31,680 (DISTANT THUDDING) 1568 01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:40,960 (GROANS) Mum! Mum! 1569 01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,440 Help me, my legs, my legs! 1570 01:09:45,160 --> 01:09:48,680 Scott! Neil! Absolutely smashed it mate. 1571 01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:50,880 That was amazing! Is there anything we can't do?! 1572 01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:52,000 High five! Yeah! 1573 01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:53,920 High five! Yeah! 1574 01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:55,560 Help me... 1575 01:09:55,600 --> 01:09:57,480 Barry is that you? Give us a hand. 1576 01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:00,000 Would you... Everyone just like to stop talking at once, please? 1577 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:00,800 Would you... Everyone just like to stop talking at once, please? 1578 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:07,400 Are you alright? Hm! 1579 01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:12,400 No, no, no! (YELLS) 1580 01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:18,080 (GROANS) 1581 01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:20,360 You stay with her. I'll get the van. 1582 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:23,320 We're getting out of here. 1583 01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:27,360 It's the mum. She's getting away! 1584 01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,960 Oh, no, no, no. Not on our watch. No chance. Come on! 1585 01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:36,000 Get in the car! Oh, not again! 1586 01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,000 Hello. It's us again. (GROANS) 1587 01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:41,520 Hello. It's us again. (GROANS) 1588 01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:45,560 Right, what are we doing? Reversing the car, 1589 01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:48,000 blocking the drive, stopping the van. In-In this thing?! Are you mad? 1590 01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,080 blocking the drive, stopping the van. In-In this thing?! Are you mad? 1591 01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:51,440 This hasn't moved anywhere in years. It's falling apart. 1592 01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:54,840 Even I can see that!It'll start. Trust me, it's top of the range. 1593 01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:56,000 (ENGINE TURNING OVER) 1594 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:56,880 (ENGINE TURNING OVER) 1595 01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:59,360 (STRAINS) Well come on, turn it on then! 1596 01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:01,840 (ENGINE TURNING OVER) It'll start! 1597 01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:04,000 Oh, I told ya! John's got more life in him than this car. 1598 01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:04,520 Oh, I told ya! John's got more life in him than this car. 1599 01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:10,840 # HOUSE OF PAIN: Jump Around # (GASPS) In your face John! 1600 01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,000 Ha-ha! Woo-hoo! 1601 01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:13,760 Ha-ha! Woo-hoo! 1602 01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:16,360 (YELLING) 1603 01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:19,040 Scott! Grab the wheel! Which way? 1604 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,000 I don't know! Busy getting killed here! 1605 01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:21,080 I don't know! Busy getting killed here! 1606 01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:22,440 Woah! 1607 01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,680 Put it in first! OK, which way? 1608 01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:27,040 Right! You're right or my right? 1609 01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:28,000 They're both the same! Oh, yeah! 1610 01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:28,600 They're both the same! Oh, yeah! 1611 01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:34,720 Reverse! OK, reverse! 1612 01:11:37,480 --> 01:11:38,960 Mind the cat! 1613 01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:41,720 (CAT YOWLS) Argh! 1614 01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:44,000 You told me to steer! Barry's got the wheel! 1615 01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:44,040 You told me to steer! Barry's got the wheel! 1616 01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:46,040 I've got the wheel. We've all got the wheel! 1617 01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:55,920 (MUSIC STOPS) 1618 01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:08,000 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1619 01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:09,480 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1620 01:12:09,520 --> 01:12:11,360 (SCREAMING) 1621 01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:16,000 Mum-m-m! (SCREAMS) 1622 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:17,120 Mum-m-m! (SCREAMS) 1623 01:12:19,280 --> 01:12:20,800 (HORN HONKING) 1624 01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:24,000 (GROANS) 1625 01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:25,280 (GROANS) 1626 01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:32,000 (BOTH YELLING) 1627 01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,120 (BOTH YELLING) 1628 01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:37,520 (SCREAMS) 1629 01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:39,560 (GROANS) 1630 01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:44,000 (GRUNTS) 1631 01:12:44,040 --> 01:12:45,640 (TENSE MUSIC) 1632 01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:51,680 Well, well, well. 1633 01:12:58,480 --> 01:13:01,240 (GROANING) 1634 01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:04,000 Any last words? Ow... 1635 01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:04,320 Any last words? Ow... 1636 01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:08,800 It's really hard to think of something when you're under pressure. 1637 01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:12,000 I'll give you Cause for ruddy Alarm! 1638 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:12,960 I'll give you Cause for ruddy Alarm! 1639 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,520 (SCREAMING) 1640 01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:19,600 It's "Causes". 1641 01:13:22,720 --> 01:13:24,480 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 1642 01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:30,320 Oh my God! 1643 01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,800 That was... 1644 01:13:35,640 --> 01:13:36,000 What are you... I thought you were in trouble. 1645 01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,440 What are you... I thought you were in trouble. 1646 01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:41,080 (SIGHS) Dad... 1647 01:13:43,440 --> 01:13:44,000 I cut through the park. 1648 01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:45,000 I cut through the park. 1649 01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:47,840 I don't care! 1650 01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:54,240 Chloe, is that you? 1651 01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:55,640 Hi, Scott! 1652 01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:59,080 I think she just saved my life! 1653 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:04,080 Ha-ha-ha! Have you ever thought of joining the Neighbourhood Watch? 1654 01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:08,000 (LITTLE BARRY SCREAMING, MUFFLED) 1655 01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:09,320 (LITTLE BARRY SCREAMING, MUFFLED) 1656 01:14:09,360 --> 01:14:12,040 Oh, stick a sponge in it you. 1657 01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:18,680 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 1658 01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:22,960 Stay still. Stay still. 1659 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,000 Stay still. You've had a mild concussion. 1660 01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,320 Stay still. You've had a mild concussion. 1661 01:14:26,560 --> 01:14:30,080 Yes, sarge. I can confirm it's all four of the Brennan family. 1662 01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:37,240 # ..All for the little ones' Christmas joys 1663 01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:40,000 Stop, stop, please. Stop! 1664 01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:40,120 Stop, stop, please. Stop! 1665 01:14:40,160 --> 01:14:43,240 Stop! Stop! (SCREAMS) 1666 01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:45,400 Stop it! So it's, uh, Graham? 1667 01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:47,800 No, it's Scott. This is... This isn't mine. 1668 01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:48,000 We, um... We don't talk about Graham.OK. 1669 01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,400 We, um... We don't talk about Graham.OK. 1670 01:14:54,280 --> 01:14:56,000 No way! My dad. 1671 01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:56,160 No way! My dad. 1672 01:14:56,200 --> 01:14:58,440 My daughter. No way! No way! 1673 01:14:58,480 --> 01:15:02,200 That's my phone! That's... my phone! Come on. Come on! 1674 01:15:02,240 --> 01:15:04,000 Stop filming. Stop filming! 1675 01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,440 Stop filming. Stop filming! 1676 01:15:05,480 --> 01:15:08,080 Excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery! 1677 01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:09,800 Come on. 1678 01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,000 I know my rights! Do you hear me? 1679 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:12,040 I know my rights! Do you hear me? 1680 01:15:12,080 --> 01:15:14,040 Get in the van. Come on. 1681 01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:18,840 # ..Down through the chimney with old Saint Nick... # 1682 01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:20,000 At least we're together for Christmas. 1683 01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,760 At least we're together for Christmas. 1684 01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:26,680 It's Christmas Day, and we are live at Staplethorne Close. 1685 01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:28,000 And I'm joined by... Scott. 1686 01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:29,200 And I'm joined by... Scott. 1687 01:15:29,240 --> 01:15:32,440 Chloe. Neil Beesley. 1688 01:15:32,480 --> 01:15:34,600 Causes for Alarms. 1689 01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:36,000 Shouldn't it be- No, don't. 1690 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:36,240 Shouldn't it be- No, don't. 1691 01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:39,560 Christmas is indeed a time for giving... 1692 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:42,360 Chloe! Up you get, we're doing presents. 1693 01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:47,200 Now, tell me Scott, would you describe yourself as a hero? 1694 01:15:47,240 --> 01:15:50,120 I would say that Chloe is the real hero here, er, 1695 01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:52,000 would you say so Neil? Yeah. 1696 01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:52,320 would you say so Neil? Yeah. 1697 01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:55,960 But I think that "Christmas Miracle" pretty much sums it up.Mum! 1698 01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:59,520 And do you have a message for our viewers at home? 1699 01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:00,000 Merry Christmas! 1700 01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,040 Merry Christmas! 1701 01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:02,680 Hi, Holly! 1702 01:16:14,840 --> 01:16:16,000 Chloe? Mum! 1703 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:16,240 Chloe? Mum! 1704 01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:18,680 Oh my God! Are you alright?! Yeah, I'm fine. 1705 01:16:33,880 --> 01:16:35,960 I'm sorry. 1706 01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:51,120 I am. I'm really, really sorry. 1707 01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:53,680 You're an idiot. I know. 1708 01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:58,360 But I love you. 1709 01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:04,000 Ow, what's that? Oh. (CHUCKLES) 1710 01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:06,280 Ow, what's that? Oh. (CHUCKLES) 1711 01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,400 I didn't get a chance to wrap it but, uh... 1712 01:17:08,440 --> 01:17:11,280 Ta-da! Thank you! Thank you! 1713 01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:12,000 Oh! Come on, let's go in. 1714 01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:13,680 Oh! Come on, let's go in. 1715 01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:16,400 Why are you dressed like that? Long story. 1716 01:17:16,440 --> 01:17:18,040 I'll tell you over pizza. 1717 01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:19,680 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1718 01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:24,640 Hang on a sec. 1719 01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:31,640 Scott, you were amazing. Thanks so much. 1720 01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:33,960 Thanks Melanie, and Merry Christmas, guys. 1721 01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:35,840 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas to you too. 1722 01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:36,000 Indeed. Scott... 1723 01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:37,600 Indeed. Scott... 1724 01:17:37,640 --> 01:17:39,600 Neil. 1725 01:17:40,720 --> 01:17:42,320 I was just wondering, I've, uh... 1726 01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,000 It's not very festive, but I've got a... 1727 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:44,560 It's not very festive, but I've got a... 1728 01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:47,960 ..three-quarters of a room temperature 1729 01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:50,040 pepperoni pizza... Sounds good to me. 1730 01:17:51,560 --> 01:17:52,000 Come on mate, lead the way. 1731 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,160 Come on mate, lead the way. 1732 01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:54,800 (GENTLE FESTIVE MUSIC) 1733 01:17:55,800 --> 01:17:57,360 What a night! 1734 01:17:57,400 --> 01:17:59,680 I couldn't have done it without ya. 1735 01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:02,320 Well, I couldn't have done it without you! 1736 01:18:02,360 --> 01:18:03,960 Ha. Yeah, I know. 1737 01:18:05,400 --> 01:18:07,520 Merry Christmas, Scott. 1738 01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:08,000 Merry Christmas, Neil. 1739 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,160 Merry Christmas, Neil. 1740 01:18:15,080 --> 01:18:16,000 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1741 01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:16,680 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1742 01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:44,080 Ha-ha! 1743 01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:48,000 Would you like a mince pie? One of mum's specials. 1744 01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:48,280 Would you like a mince pie? One of mum's specials. 1745 01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:50,560 Oh, lovely. Chloe? Chloe? 1746 01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:53,160 Go on. Try some. Join in. 1747 01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:54,800 Save one for Holly. 1748 01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:59,320 Dad, Sabrina. Did somebody say mistletoe? 1749 01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:10,440 Right everyone, look this way. Big photo. Big poses. 1750 01:19:10,480 --> 01:19:12,000 In 3... ALL: 2, 1... 1751 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:14,480 In 3... ALL: 2, 1... 1752 01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:17,280 Cheers! (ALL EXCLAIM) 1753 01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:20,000 (ALL CHEERING) 1754 01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:20,240 (ALL CHEERING) 1755 01:19:36,800 --> 01:19:39,560 # Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus 1756 01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:42,400 # Right down Santa Claus Lane 1757 01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:44,000 # Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer 1758 01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:45,160 # Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer 1759 01:19:45,200 --> 01:19:48,000 # Are pulling on the reins 1760 01:19:48,040 --> 01:19:50,920 # Bells are ringing, children singing 1761 01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:52,000 # All is merry and bright 1762 01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:53,000 # All is merry and bright 1763 01:19:53,720 --> 01:19:56,520 # Hang your stockings and say your prayers 1764 01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,720 # Cos Santa Claus comes tonight... # 1765 01:20:03,080 --> 01:20:06,520 Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky 121791

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