All language subtitles for Sherlock.S04E02.The.Lying.Detective.1080p.10bit.BluRay.5.1.x265.HEVC-MZABI_Subtitles01.ENG

(GU NS H OT)

TH ERAPIST: Tell me
about your morning.

Sta rt from the beg i n n i ng .

I woke u p.

TH ERAPIST: H ow d id you sleep?

I d id n 't. I don 't.

You j ust sa id you woke u p.

I stopped lyi ng down .

AIone?

Of cou rse, a lone.

I mea nt Rosie. You r da ug hter.

U h, she's with friends.

Why?

Ca n 't a lways cope.

And last n ig ht wasn 't good .

It's u ndersta nda ble.

Is it, why?
Why is it u ndersta nda ble?

Why does everyth i ng have to be
u ndersta nda ble? (CH UCKLES)

Why ca n 't some th i ngs be u naccepta ble?
And we ca n j ust say that.

I on ly mea n it's okay.

I' m letti ng my da ug hter down .
H ow the hell is that okay?

You j ust lost you r wife.

And Rosie j ust
lost her mother.

TH ERAPIST: You are holding
yourself to an unreasonable standard.

JO H N : No, Im failing to.

So, there is no one you
ta lk to? Confide i n?

N o one.

Oh, I' m picki ng u p Rosie
th is afternoon .

After I see my thera pist.

Got a new one.
I' m seei ng her today.

MARY: Are you gon na
tell her a bout me?

N o.

Why not?

-'Ca use I ca n 't.
-Why not?

Beca use I ca n 't, you know I ca n 't.
She th i n ks you ' re dead .

Joh n, you 've got to
remem ber, it's i m porta nt.

I a m dead .

Please. For you r own sa ke
a nd for Rosie's.

Th is isn 't rea l. I' m dead .

-Joh n, look at me.
-Mm m .

I' m not here.
You know that, don 't you?

Okay. I' ll see you later.

TH ERAPIST: Is there anything
youre not telling me?

(CH UCKLES) N o. (CLEARS TH ROAT)

What a re you looki ng at?

N oth i ng .

You keep g la nci ng to my left.

Oh, I su ppose I was
j ust looki ng away. (CH UCKLES)

There is a d ifference between
looki ng away a nd looki ng to.

-I tend to notice these th i ngs.
-I' m su re.

N ow, I a m rem i nd i ng you
of you r friend, I th i n k.

That's not necessa ri ly
a good th i ng .

Do you ta lk to
Sherlock H olmes?

I haven 't seen h i m .

N o one's seen h i m .
H e's locked h i mself away i n h is flat.

God knows what he's u p to.

Do you bla me h i m?

I don 't bla me h i m . . .
I don 't th i n k a bout h i m .

Has he attem pted to
ma ke contact with you?

N o !

H ow ca n you be su re?
H e m ig ht have tried .

N o, if Sherlock H olmes
wa nts to get i n touch,

that's not someth i ng you
ca n fa i l to notice.

(TTRES SCREECHI N G)

(CAR ALARM RI N GI N G)

(SI RENS WAI LI N G)

(DDE TDjDY P LAYI N G
FROM CAR RADIO)

Well, now.

Won 't you i ntrod uce me?

(TH EME MUSIC P LAYI N G)

- (I N DISTI N CT CHATTER)
-Hello. Thank you, thank you.

H ello.

Mr Sm ith,
whenever you ' re ready.

N ow, please.

Bri ng them th roug h .

It's d ifficu lt havi ng such
good friends.

Friends a re people
you wa nt to sha re with .

Friends a nd fa m i ly.

What's the very worst
th i ng you ca n do...

to you r very best friends?

(CH UCKLES)

Someth i ng on you r m i nd?

Yes, Si mon . Oh yes.

Whatever you tell us, stays i n th is
room . I th i n k I spea k for everyone.

(ALL MU RMU RI N G)

WOMAN : Well, what is the worst
th i ng you cou ld do?

Tell them you r da rkest secret.

Beca use,

if you tell them, a nd they
decide they'd rather not know...

You ca n 't ta ke it back.

You ca n 't u nsay it.

Once you 've opened you r hea rt,

you ca n 't close it aga i n .

(LAUG HS)

I' m kidd i ng .

Of cou rse, you ca n .

Well, everyone, please,
roll u p you r rig ht sleeves.

Roll u p you r rig ht sleeves.
Come on .

Oh, it's a bit of i nsu ra nce.

I don 't u ndersta nd .
What is that?

(CH UCKLES) TD 1 2 .

-One of ou rs.
-One of you rs?

We ma ke it, my com pa ny. TD 1 2 .

Sells ma i n ly to dentists a nd hospita ls,
for m i nor su rg ica l proced u res.

Interferes with ...

-The memory.
-The memory.

Yes.

I wa nt to tha n k you, Iva n,
for a llowi ng me to use it.

Did n 't exactly know who
you were gon na be usi ng it on .

(CH UCKLES)

-You mea n you d id n 't ask.
-Is everyone ready?

- N o.
- Please.

Roll u p you r sleeves.
Come on, roll u p.

Th is is obscene.

All I' m doi ng, Fa ith dea r...

- (GAS PS)
-. . . is getti ng someth i ng off my chest.

Without getti ng it on you rs.

What you ' re a bout to
hea r me say may horrify you . But...

You wi ll forget it.

If you th i n k a bout it,
civi lisation has a lways

depended on a measu re
of elective ig nora nce.

(LAUG HS)

(CH UCKLES)

These d ri p feeds wi ll keep the d rug
i n you r blood strea ms

at exactly the rig ht levels.

N oth i ng that is
ha ppen i ng to you now

wi ll stay with you for more
tha n a few m i n utes.

I' m afra id that some of the

memories you 've had u p to th is poi nt
m ig ht a lso be...

...corru pted .

I' m goi ng to sha re
someth i ng with you now.

Someth i ng persona l.

And of i m porta nce to me.

I have a need to confess.

But you, I th i n k,
m ig ht have a need to forget.

By the end of th is, you ' ll be
free to go, a nd don 't worry,

by the ti me you ' re back
i n the outside world

you wi ll not remem ber a ny
of what you 've hea rd .

-Ig nora nce is bliss.
-What's wrong with bliss?

Some of you know each other
a nd some of you don 't.

Please, be awa re
that one of you

is a h ig h ra n ki ng
police officer.

One of you is a mem ber of the j ud icia ry.

One of you sits on the boa rd
of a prom i nent broadcaster.

Two of you work for me. And one of you
of cou rse, is my lovely da ug hter.

Fa ith .

You a re the people
I need to hea r me.

I have made m i llions, for myself
for the people a rou nd th is ta ble,

for m i llions of people
I've never even met.

There a re cha rities that I su pport
who wou ld n 't exist without me.

If life is a ba la nce sheet,
a nd I th i n k it is,

well, I believe I' m i n cred it!

But I have a situation .

That needs to be ma naged .

I have a problem a nd there is on ly
one way that I ca n solve it.

And what's that?

I' m terri bly sorry.

I need to ki ll someone.

Who?

Were we i n a meeti ng?
Was there a meeti ng?

N eed to ki ll someone. Fa ith .

- (FAITH B REATHI N G H EAVI LY)
-My dea r, dea r g i rl.

I ca n 't remem ber.

I ca n 't remem ber who
you ' re gon na ki ll.

In five m i n utes,

you won 't even remem ber
why you were cryi ng .

The others a re a ll fi ne.

You know,
they've gone down the pu b.

It's a ll on me. (CH UCKLES)

(FAITH SO B BI N G)

Oh Fa ith . Don 't you th i n k
I shou ld ta ke that?

It's on ly goi ng to u pset you .

Th ree yea rs ago, my father told
me he wa nted to ki ll someone.

One word, Mr H olmes,

a nd it cha nged
my world forever.

J ust one word .

What word?

-A na me.
-What na me?

I ca n 't remem ber.

I ca n 't remem ber who
my father wa nted to ki ll.

And I don 't know
if he ever d id it.

(SIG HS) You 've cha nged,

you need to top u p you r ta n
a nd you r roots a re showi ng,

you ' re letti ng you rself go.

Do you ever look i n the m i rror
a nd wa nt to see someone else?

N o. Do you own
a n America n ca r?

-I' m sorry?
- N o, not America n .

Left ha nd d rive.
That's what I mea n .

N o. Why do you ask?

N ot su re actua lly. Proba bly
j ust noticed someth i ng .

Are you okay?

Of cou rse, you don 't own a ca r.

You don 't need one.
Do you? Livi ng i n isolation .

N o h u ma n contact. N o visitors.

Okay, how do you know that?

It's a ll here, isn 't it? Look.

Cost cutti ng is clea rly
a priority for you

look at the size of you r
kitchen, teeny-ti ny.

Must be a bit a n noyi ng when
you ' re such a keen cook.

I don 't u ndersta nd .

Ha ng on a m i n ute. I was looki ng out
of the wi ndow. Why was I doi ng that?

-I don 't know.
-Me neither. Must've had a reason .

It' ll come back to me.

Presu ma bly, you downsized
when you left you r job.

And maybe when
you ended you r relationsh i p.

-You ca n 't know that.
-Of cou rse I ca n .

There wasn 't a nyth i ng physica l
goi ng on, was there?

Qu ite some ti me, i n fact.

There, see, it's obvious.

You ca n 't tell th i ngs li ke
that from a piece of pa per.

Th i n k I j ust d id, d id n 't I?
I' m su re that was me. (S NI FFS)

- H ow?
- Du n no.

Sort of ha ppens.

Li ke a reflex,
I ca n 't stop it.

Coat.

-I don 't have a coat.
-Yes, well I j ust noticed, I wonder why.

-Who you ta lki ng to?
- Piss off! (S LAMS DOO R)

-So, what do you th i n k?
-Of what?

-My case.
-Oh, it's way too wei rd for me.

Go to the police. They' re rea lly
excellent at dea li ng with th is...

com plicated sort of stuff.
Tell them I sent you .

That oug ht to get a reaction .
N ig ht-n ig ht.

Please. I have no one
else to tu rn to.

Yes, but I' m very busy at the moment.
I have to d ri n k a cu p of tea .

(BU B B LI N G)

Th is cu p of tea ...

-Code?
-It's a cu p of tea .

Beca use you m ig ht
prefer some coffee.

You ' re my last hope.

Rea lly, that's bad
luck, isn 't it? Good n ig ht. Go away.

What's bad luck?

Stop ta lki ng . It ma kes me
awa re of you r existence.

I've a lways had bad luck.

-It's congen ita l. . .
- Ha nd bag .

That's not rude. Congen ita l.
It j ust mea ns...

Ha nd bag .

Stop! Wa it!

You r life is not you r own .
Keep you r ha nds off it. Do you hea r me?

Off it. Off it!

Sorry. What?

What a re you ta lki ng a bout?

-You r ski rt.
-My ski rt?

Look at the hem of it!
That's what I noticed . Sorry.

I' m sti ll catch i ng u p with
my bra i n . It's terri bly fast.

Those ma rki ngs,
do you see them?

You on ly get ma rks li ke that by
tra ppi ng the hem of you r ski rt

i n a ca r door,
but they' re on the left ha nd side,

so you weren 't d rivi ng .
You were i n the passenger seat.

I ca me i n a taxi .

There is no taxi wa iti ng
i n the street outside.

That's what I checked when
I went to the wi ndow.

And you 've got
a ll the way to the door

a nd not made a ny move
to phone for one, a nd look at you .

You d id n 't even bri ng
a coat, i n th is ra i n?

N ow, that m ig ht mea n
noth i ng, except

the a ng le of the sca rs
on you r left forea rm,

you know, u nder that sleeve
you keep pu lli ng down .

You never saw them .

N o, I d id n 't. So tha n k you
for confi rm i ng my hypothesis.

I don 't rea lly need to check
that the a ng les a re consistent

with self-ha rm, do I?

- N o.
-Then you ca n keep you r sca rs.

I wa nt to see you r ha nd bag .

Why?

It's too heavy.

You sa id I was you r last hope,
a nd now you ' re goi ng out i nto the n ig ht

with no pla n on
how you ' re getti ng home.

And a g u n .

- (S NI FFS)
- (CAN E CLACKI N G)

-Ch i ps.
-Ch i ps?

(SIG HS) You ' re su icida l.
You ' re a llowed ch i ps.

Trust me.
It's a bout the on ly perk.

Sherlock!

Are you goi ng out?

I th i n k I remem ber the way.
It's th roug h there, isn 't it.

Oh, you ' re i n a state !
Look at you !

Yea h, well, I've got
a friend with me, so...

-What friend?
- Bye.

Oh .

S H ERLOCK: Come on .

Im Culverton Smith, and this election
year, III be voting...

For God 's sa ke, I was ta lki ng
to the Pri me Mi n ister.

I' m sorry, Mr H olmes.
It's you r brother.

H e's left h is flat.

Was it on fi re?

CU LVERTO N : Even when Im on the road
I still Iike quality food.

S H ERLOCK: You see the fold
i n the m idd le?

For the fi rst few months,
you kept th is h idden .

Folded i nside a book.

Must have been a tig htly
packed shelf,

goi ng by the severity
of the crease.

So, obviously you were keepi ng
it h idden from someone

livi ng i n the sa me house,
at the level of i nti macy

where privacy
cou ld not be assu med .

Conclusion? Relationsh i p.

N ot a ny more, thoug h . There's a pi n
prick at the top of the pa per.

The past few months,
it's been on open d isplay on a wa ll.

Conclusion?
Relationsh i p is over.

The pa per has been exposed to stea m a nd
a va riety of cooki ng smells.

So, it m ust have been
on d isplay i n the kitchen .

(S NI FFS)

Lots of d ifferent spices.

You ' re su icida l,
a lone a nd stra pped for cash .

Yet, you ' re sti ll cooki ng
to i m press.

You ' re keen, a nd kitchen
is the most pu blic room i n a ny house.

And si nce a ny visitor cou ld be expected
to ask a bout a note li ke th is,

I have to assu me
you don 't have a ny.

You 've isolated you rself.

-Amazi ng .
-I know.

I mea nt the ch i ps.

(CH UCKLES)

H m m .

(H ELICO PTER H OVERI N G)

Let's go for a wa lk.

(B EEPI N G)

(MO BI LE VI B RATI N G)

You shou ld a nswer it.

It's Mycroft.

Mig ht be a bout Sherlock.

Of cou rse it's a bout Sherlock.
Everyth i ng 's a bout Sherlock.

FAITH : How didyou know
my kitchen was tiny?

The fad i ng pattern
on the pa per. It's not m uch,

but it's enoug h to know
you r kitchen wi ndow faces east. N ow.

Kitchen notice boa rds.

By i nsti nct, we place them at eye level,
where there's natu ra l lig ht.

N ow look. The su n 's on ly
struck the bottom two-th i rds,

but the li ne is stra ig ht. So, that mea ns
we know pa per is faci ng the wi ndow.

But, beca use the top section
is u naffected,

we know the su n lig ht ca n on ly be
enteri ng the room at a steep a ng le.

If the su n lig ht
was a ble to penetrate the room

when the su n
was lower i n the sky,

then the pa per
wou ld be eq ua lly faded .

Top to bottom, but no.

It on ly ma kes it when the su n
is at its zen ith .

So, I' m betti ng that you live
i n a na rrow street, on the g rou nd floor.

N ow, if steeply a ng led
su n lig ht ma nages to h it

eye level on the wa ll
opposite the wi ndow,

then what do we know
a bout the room?

The room 's sma ll.

(H ELICO PTER H OVERI N G)

-Oh, big brother is watch i ng you .
- Litera lly.

We ca n keep ta bs.
You d id n 't have to come i n .

I was ta lki ng to
the Pri me Mi n ister.

Oh, I see.

What's he doi ng?

Why is he j ust wa nderi ng
a bout li ke a fool?

She d ied, Mycroft.

H e's proba bly sti ll i n shock.

Everybody d ies.

That's the one th i ng
h u ma n bei ngs ca n be relied u pon to do.

H ow ca n it sti ll come
as a su rprise to people?

You sou nd cross.

Am I goi ng to be ta ken
away by secu rity aga i n?

I have, I th i n k,
a polog ised extensively.

You haven 't made it u p to me.

And how a m I su pposed
to do that?

- FAITH : Sex.
-I' m sorry.

Sex. H ow d id you know

I wasn 't getti ng a ny?

It's a ll a bout the blood . Th is one comes
from the very fi rst n ig ht.

You ca n see the
pen ma rks over it.

I th i n k you d iscovered the pa i ns

sti m u lated you r memory
so you tried it aga i n later.

I' m no expert, but I assu me that
si nce you r lover fa i led to notice

a n i ncreasi ng n u m ber of sca rs
over a period of months,

that the relationsh i p
was no longer i nti mate.

H ow do you know
he d id n 't notice?

Oh, well, 'ca use he wou ld
have done someth i ng a bout it.

Wou ld he?

Wou ld n 't he?
Isn 't that what you people do?

-Well that's i nteresti ng .
-What is?

-The way you th i n k.
-Su perbly.

-Sweetly.
-I' m not sweet. I' m j ust h ig h .

Th is way.

- But we j ust ca me that way.
-I know, it's a pla n .

What pla n?

- (I N DISTI N CT CHATTER)
-What is it? What now?

Sorry, u m, traced
h is route to the ma p...

Is he with someone?

N ot su re.
We keep losi ng visua l.

Mostly, we' re tracki ng
h is phone.

Don t call us. We II call...

I' m tryi ng to sleep. Ca n you
stop ri ng i ng my da m n phone?

MYCRO FT: Sherlock has Ieft his
flat. First time in a week.

-So I' m havi ng h i m tracked .
-JO H N : Nice.

That's very touch i ng
how you ca n h ijack

the mach i nery of the state to
look after you r own fa m i ly.

Ca n I go to sleep now?

Sherlock gone rog ue
is a leg iti mate secu rity concern .

The fact that I' m h is brother
cha nges a bsolutely noth i ng .

It d id n 't the last ti me,
a nd I assu re you it won 't...

With Sherlock.

Sorry, what?

Please phone me if he gets i n contact.
Tha n k you .

(MO BI LE B EEPS)

Do you sti ll
spea k to Sherri nford?

-I get reg u la r u pdates.
-And?

Sherri nford is secu re.

-Are we gon na wa lk a ll n ig ht?
- Possi bly.

It's a long word .

-What is?
- Bollocks.

(BOTH LAUG HI N G)

Cu lverton Sm ith, a ll th is cha rity
work. What's i n it for you?

We m ust be ca refu l
not to bu rn ou r bridges.

S H ERLOCK: Do you know why
I' m gon na ta ke you r case?

Beca use of the one
i m possi ble th i ng you sa id .

FAITH : What i m possi ble th i ng?

You sa id you r life
tu rned on one word .

Yes.

The na me of the person
my father wa nted to ki ll.

That's the i m possi ble th i ng .

-J ust that rig ht there.
-What's i m possi ble?

Na mes a re not one word .
They' re a lways at least two.

Sherlock H olmes. Fa ith Sm ith .

Sa nta Cla us.
Wi nston Ch u rch i ll.

Na poleon Bona pa rte. Actua lly,
j ust Na poleon wou ld do.

Or Elvis?

Look, I th i n k we ca n ru le
both of them out as ta rgets.

Okay, I got it wrong then . It wasn 't
on ly one word . It ca n 't have been .

Did you remem ber
q u ite d isti nctly

that you r whole life
tu rned on one word?

So, that ha ppened, I don 't dou bt it,
but how ca n that word be a na me?

A na me you i nsta ntly recog n ise
that tore you r world a pa rt.

Okay, well, how?

N o idea yet.

But I don 't work for free.

You ta ke cash?

N ot cash, no.

Ta ki ng you r own life.

Interesti ng expression .
Ta ki ng it from who?

Once it's over,
it's not you who' ll m iss it.

(GU NS H OT)

You r own death is someth i ng that
ha ppens to everybody else.

You r life is not you r own .
Keep you r ha nds off it.

You ' re not
what I expected, you ' re...

(G ROANS)

-What? What a m I?
- N icer.

-Tha n who?
-Anyone.

(SCREAMI N G)

CHI LD'S VOICE: (SI N GI N G)
My Iittle master, who will find me...

(GAS PS)

Sorry, I...

Fa ith? Fa ith !

S H ERLOCK: You saidyour Iife
turned on one word.

A name can t be one word.

If you were to come rou nd
aski ng after h i m,

that he'd rather have a nyone but you .

Anyone.

FAITH : Youre not what I exPected.
S H ERLOCK: What? What am I?

-Nicer.
-Than who?

Anyone.

Don 't th i n k a nyone else is goi ng to save
h i m, beca use there isn 't a nyone.

FEMALE VOICES: Anyone, anyone,
anyone, anyone, anyone.

I have a situation .
N eeds to be ma naged .

There's on ly one way
that I ca n solve it.

FAITH : And what's that?

CU LVERTO N : I need to ki ll someone.

FAITH : Who?

Who?

Anyone.

- (LAUG HI N G)
-Of cou rse.

H e doesn 't wa nt to ki ll one person .
H e wa nts to ki ll a nyone.

H e's a seria l ki ller.

Anyone.

-It cou ld be. . .
-Anyone.

Why not?

Why shou ld n 't he be?

(CARS H O N KI N G)

-What is wrong?
-What's the matter with you?

Do you know where you a re?
Are you d ru n k?

-Shezzer.
-What a re you doi ng here?

What were you doi ng i n the
m idd le of a bloody street?

-You shou ld be at Ba ker Street.
-I a m . So a re you .

They fou nd you r add ress.
They broug ht you here.

You 've had too m uch .
And that's me sayi ng it.

Kill.

Sherlock...

-Anyone.
- FAITH : Anyone.

They' re a lways poor,
a nd lonely, a nd stra nge.

- But those a re on ly the ones we catch .
-Who do we catch?

Seria l ki llers.

But if you a re rich,
a nd powerfu l, a nd necessa ry...

CU LVERTO N : Anyone.

What if you had the com pu lsion to
ki ll a nd money? What then?

- (TTRES SCREECHI N G)
- (SI RENS WAI LI N G)

(DDE TDjDY P LAYI N G
FROM CAR RADIO)

(EN GI N E REVVI N G)

Well now.

Won 't you i ntrod uce me?

- (CAR DOO R S H UTS)
-Ah !

Rig ht, you there !
Stop rig ht where you a re !

-Oh, Joh n .
-Mrs H udson .

Do you have a ny idea what
speed you were goi ng at?

Of cou rse, not.
I was on the phone.

-Oh, it's for you, by the way.
- For me?

It's the govern ment.

The what?

-JO H N : What's goi ng on? What's wrong?
- H ello?

MYCRO FT: My name is Mycroft Holmes.
Im sPeaking from the Cabinet.

-What's ha ppened?
-It's Sherlock.

You 've no idea
what I've been th roug h .

- (CLAN GI N G)
- (MEN S H OUTI N G)

I' m out of here. H e's lost it.

H e's tota lly gone !

"Once more u nto the breach
dea r friends, once more !

"Or close the wa ll u p
with ou r Eng lish dead

"Set the teeth a nd stretch
the nostri l wide. H old ha rd the breath

"a nd bu i ld u p every spi rit
to h is fu ll heig ht

"On ! On, you noblest Eng lish whose blood
is fet from fathers, from wa r-proof!

"And you, good yeoma n, whose li m bs
were made i n Eng la nd, show us

" H ere the mettle
of you r pastu re !

"I dou bt not, for there is none of you
here so mea n a nd base

"that hath not noble
luster i n you r eyes!

"I see you sta nd i ng li ke g reyhou nds
i n the sli ps stra i n i ng u pon the sta rt! "

(GU N FI RI N G)

(PANTI N G) "The ga me's afoot. "

Oh, hello.

Ca n I have a cu p of tea?

- (DOO R S LAMMI N G)
- Did you ca ll the police?

Of cou rse I d id n 't
ca ll the police. I' m not a civi lia n .

These pictu res. They' re that
ma n on the telly, a ren 't they?

-What pictu res?
-They' re everywhere.

Oh, these pictu res?
Oh, you ca n see them too ! That's good .

Cu lverton Sm ith, Th is I th i n k
is releva nt from th is morn i ng .

H e's pu blicly accused Mr Sm ith
of bei ng a seria l ki ller.

Ch rist. Sherlock on Twitter.
H e rea lly has lost it.

Don 't you da re ma ke jokes.
Don 't you da re ! I was terrified .

A cu p of tea !

Oh, for good ness' sa kes!
What's the matter with you?

Are you havi ng a n ea rthq ua ke?

You need to see h i m, Joh n .

-You need to help h i m !
- N ope.

H e needs you !

Somebody else.

N ot me. N ot now.

N ow, you j ust listen to me
for once i n you r stu pid life.

I know Ma ry's dead a nd I know
you r hea rt is broken .

But if Sherlock H olmes d ies too,
who' ll you have then?

Beca use I' ll tell you
someth i ng, Joh n Watson .

You wi ll not have me.

(DOO R S H UTS)

(SO B BI N G)

Have you spoken to Mycroft,
Molly, a nyone?

They don 't matter, you do.

Wou ld you j ust see h i m,
please, Joh n?

Or j ust ta ke a look at h i m
as a doctor.

I know you 'd cha nge you r m i nd
if you d id .

Yea h, look. Okay.
Maybe, if I get a cha nce.

- Do you prom ise?
-I' ll try if I' m i n the a rea .

Prom ise me?

-I prom ise.
-Tha n k you .

Well? On you go.

Exa m i ne h i m .

Rig ht then, m ister.
N ow I need you r ha ndcuffs.

I ha ppen to know
there's a pa i r i n the sa lad d rawer.

I've borrowed them before.

Oh, get over you rself.

You ' re not my fi rst
smack-head, Sherlock H olmes.

That woma n 's out of control.
I asked for a cu p of tea .

- H ow d id you get h i m i n the boot?
-The boys from the cafe.

They d ropped me. Twice !

And you know why
they d ropped you, dea r?

Beca use they know you .

Who's th is one?

Is th is a new person?
I' m aga i nst new people.

Excuse me for a moment.

JO H N : She's my thera pist.

Awesome. Do you do
block booki ngs?

Whose ca r is that?

-That's my ca r.
- H ow ca n that be you r ca r?

Oh, for God 's sa ke !

I' m the widow
of a d rug dea ler.

I own property
i n Centra l London .

And for the last
bloody ti me, Joh n,

I' m not you r housekeeper.

I' m so sorry.
I a nswered you r phone, you were busy.

I th i n k you ' ll wa nt
to ta ke it.

-U h, yes, hello?
-Is th is Dr Joh n Watson?

Yea h, who's th is?

Cu lverton Sm ith .
You 've proba bly hea rd of me.

U h, well, yes.

Get me a fresh g lass
of water, please. Th is one's fi lthy.

I mea n, I' m awa re of
th is morn i ng 's developments.

Yes, I' m su re
he was bei ng h i la rious.

Sorry, d id you say
a ll sti ll meeti ng?

You, me and Mr Holmes.

I sent a ca r.
It shou ld be outside.

Mr H olmes gave me a n add ress.

Well, he cou ld n 't have
g iven you th is one...

(DOO RB ELL RI N GS)

When you ' re ready.

When d id Sherlock
g ive you th is add ress?

-Two weeks ago.
-Two weeks?

Yes. Two weeks.

(MO BI LE B EEPS)

H ow d id you know
where to fi nd me?

Oh, Sherlock told me.

H e's not so d ifficu lt
when you 've got a g u n on h i m .

H ow d id you know? H ow?

On Monday, I decided
to get a new thera pist.

Tuesday afternoon,
I chose her.

Wed nesday morn i ng, I booked today's
session . N ow, today is Friday.

So two weeks ago, two weeks,

before you were a bd ucted at g u n poi nt,
a nd broug ht here aga i nst you r wi ll

over a week before I even
thoug ht of com i ng here,

you knew exactly where you 'd need to
be picked u p for lu nch?

Rea lly?

I correctly a ntici pated
the responses of people

I know well to scena rios I devised .

-Ca n 't everyone do that?
- H ow?

Except the boot.
The boot was mea n .

N ever m i nd how. H e's dyi ng to tell us
that. I wa nt to know why.

Beca use Mrs H udson 's rig ht.

I' m bu rn i ng u p.

I' m at the bottom of a pit a nd I' m sti ll
fa lli ng, a nd I' m never cli m bi ng out.

I need you to know, Joh n .
I need you to see that u p here

I've sti ll got it.

So, when I tell you that
th is is the most da ngerous,

the most despica ble h u ma n bei ng
that I have ever encou ntered .

When I tell you that
th is monster m ust be ended .

Please remem ber
where you ' re sta nd i ng

beca use you ' re sta nd i ng exactly where
I sa id you wou ld be two weeks ago.

I' m a mess, I' m i n hell,
but I a m not wrong, not a bout h i m .

So what has a ll th is
got to do with me?

That creatu re,
that rotti ng th i ng

is a livi ng, breath i ng
coag u lation of h u ma n evi l.

If the on ly th i ng I ever do i n th is
world is d rive h i m out of it,

then my life wi ll not
have been wasted .

Look at me.

Ca n 't do it. N ot now.

N ot a lone.

U h ...

(SIG HS)

Yea h, well, they' re rea l
enoug h, I su ppose.

Why wou ld I be fa ki ng?

Beca use you ' re a lia r. You lie
a ll the ti me, it's li ke you r m ission .

I have been ma ny th i ngs, Joh n,
but when have I ever been a ma li ngerer?

You pretended to be dead
for two yea rs!

-Apa rt from that.
- Listen, before I do a nyth i ng,

I need to know
what state you ' re i n .

Well, you ' re a doctor.
Exa m i ne me.

N o, I need a second opi n ion .

(SIG HS) Joh n, ca lm down .

When have you ever ma naged
two opi n ions? You 'd fa ll over.

I need the one person who,
u n li ke me, lea rnt to see

th roug h you r
bu llsh it long ago.

Who's that, then? I' m su re
I wou ld have noticed .

The last person
you 'd th i n k of.

I wa nt you to be exa m i ned
by Molly H ooper.

Do you hea r me?
I sa id Molly H ooper.

You ' re rea lly
not gon na li ke th is.

- Li ke what?
- (DOO RB ELL RI N GS)

(I N HALES D EEP LY)

Oh . H ello. Is, er...

I' m sorry.
Sherlock asked me to come.

What, two weeks ago?

Yea h, a bout two weeks.

If you 'd li ke to know
how I pred ict the futu re...

N o, I don 't ca re how.

Okay. Fu lly eq u i pped a m bu la nce. Molly
ca n exa m i ne me on the way to save ti me.

Ready to go, Molly?

-J ust tell me when to coug h .
-Oh, well...

- H ope you remem bered my coat.
- (STAMMERS)

Sorry. I d id n 't know
that you were gon na be here.

I have a bsolutely no idea
what's goi ng on .

Sherlock's usi ng aga i n .

Oh, God . Well, u m ...

-Are you su re?
- N o, it's Sherlock.

Of cou rse I' m not su re.

J ust check h i m out.

Is Molly the rig ht person
to be doi ng med ica ls?

She's more used
to dead people.

It's bou nd to lower
you r sta nda rds.

I don 't know. I don 't know
a nyth i ng a ny more.

-Oh . . .
-Mrs H udson . As ever, you a re a mazi ng .

N o. You ' re goi ng to have to
buck u p a bit, Joh n .

You know that, don 't you?

The ga me is on .

I' ll do my best.

Anyth i ng you need .

Anyti me. J ust ask.
Anyth i ng at a ll.

Tha n k you .

U h . . . Someti mes,
ca n I borrow you r ca r?

- N o.
-Okay.

H e knew you 'd get
a new thera pist after I d ied

beca use you 'd need
to cha nge everyth i ng .

That's j ust what you ' re li ke.

Tha n ks.

You keep
you r weekends for Rosie

so you needed to see someone
d u ri ng worki ng hou rs.

Beca use you ' re a n id iot,
you don 't wa nt a nyone at the su rgery

knowi ng you ' re i n thera py,
so that restricts you

to lu nchti me sessions
with someone reasona bly close.

You fou nd fou r men
a nd one woma n .

And you a re done with the world bei ng
expla i ned to you by a ma n .

Who isn 't?

So a ll he needed to do was fi nd the
fi rst ava i la ble lu nchti me a ppoi ntment

with a fema le thera pist
with i n cycli ng d ista nce of you r su rgery.

-My God, he knows you .
- N o, he doesn 't.

I' m i n you r head, Joh n .
You ' re d isag reei ng with you rself.

- D RIVER: Are you ready, si r?
-Yes, I a m .

H e is the cleverest ma n
i n the world but he's not a monster.

Yea h, he is.

Yea h, okay, rig ht. H e is. Ug h .
(CH UCKLES)

But he's ou r monster.

I' m a ki ller.

You know I' m a ki ller.

But d id you know...

I' m a ...

Cut that. What was that?
Was that a lig ht?

U h, was that me?
Was I too good? H u h?

H e's here.

Well, how is he?

Basica lly fi ne.

I've seen hea lth ier people
on the sla b.

Yea h, but to be fa i r,
you work with m u rder victi ms.

They tend to be q u ite you ng .

- N ot fu n ny.
-A little bit fu n ny.

If you keep ta ki ng what you ' re
ta ki ng at the rate you ' re ta ki ng it,

you 've got weeks.

Exactly. Weeks.
Let's not get a head of ou rselves.

For Ch rist's sa ke, Sherlock!
It's not a ga me.

I' m worried a bout you, Molly.
You seem very stressed .

MO LLY: I' m stressed .
You ' re dyi ng .

Yea h, well, I' m a head then .
Stress ca n ru i n every day of you r life.

- Dyi ng ca n on ly ru i n one.
-So th is is rea l.

You 've rea lly lost it.
You ' re actua lly out of control.

-When have I ever been that?
-Si nce the day I met you .

Clever boy. Missed you
fu m bli ng a rou nd the place.

-Thoug ht th is was some ki nd of. . .
-What?

Trick.

'Cou rse it's not a trick.
It's a pla n .

CU LVERTO N : Mr H olmes?

Th i rty feet a nd closi ng, the most
sig n ifica nt u ndetected seria l ki ller

i n British cri m i na l h istory.
H elp me bri ng h i m down .

-What, what pla n?
-I' m not telli ng you .

-Why not?
-'Ca use you won 't li ke it.

Mr H olmes.

I don 't do ha ndsha kes.

-It' ll have to be a h ug .
-I know.

(CH UCKLES)

Oh, Sherlock.

Oh, Sherlock.

What ca n I say? Tha n ks to you,
we' re, u h, we' re everywhere.

Mr H olmes, how d id Cu lverton
ta lk you i nto th is?

Well, he, he's a detective.

Maybe I j ust confessed .

(CROWD LAUG HI N G)

Come on .

N ow, it's u h ...

It's a new ki nd
of brea kfast cerea l...

REPO RTER: Mr H olmes,
ca n you put on the hat?

Yea h, he doesn 't rea lly
wea r the hat.

Kids wi ll be getti ng
two of thei r five-a-day

before they've even left home.

Sherlock's been a mazi ng
for us.

Brea kfast has got to be cool.

We' re beyond vi ra l.

You know what ma kes it cool
when you ' re a kid?

JO H N : What? Sorry?
Beyond what?

CU LVERTO N : Da ngerous.

And action !

I' m a ki ller.

You know I' m a ki ller.

But d id you know. . .
I' m a cerea l ki ller?

Mm m .

And cut there. Tha n k you .

You shou ld bag that u p.
Sell it.

Ma ke money from that on e Bay.

You ca n ma ke more,
if you li ke. Anyti me you li ke.

JO H N : Has it occu rred to you,

a nywhere i n you r d rug-add led
bra i n, that you 've j ust been played?

Oh, yes.

- For a n ad ca m pa ig n .
- Bri llia nt, isn 't it?

Bri llia nt?

Safest place to h ide.

Pla i n sig ht.

Mr H olmes.

Cu lverton wa nts to know if you ' re okay
goi ng stra ig ht to the hospita l.

- (SCO FFS) H ospita l?
-Cu lverton 's doi ng a visit.

The kids wou ld love
to meet you both .

I th i n k he's sort of prom ised .

Oh, okay.

If you 'd j ust li ke
to come th is way.

So.

What a re we doi ng here?
What's the poi nt?

I needed a h ug .

What do you th i n k, Mr H olmes?

Cerea l ki ller.

It's fu n ny 'ca use it's true.

See you at the hospita l.

Oh, you ca n
have th is back now.

- Have what back?
-Tha n ks for the h ug .

Oh, I sent a nd deleted a text.
You m ig ht get a reply but I dou bt it.

-It's password protected .
- Please.

(CH UCKLES) We' re goi ng to
have end less fu n, Mr H olmes. Aren 't we?

N o.

N o, not end less.

N eed a nother h it, do you?

It ca n wa it u nti l
the hospita l.

You i nvolved, m uch?

Sorry?

U m, with Mr H olmes,
Sherlock, a nd a ll h is cases.

Yea h, I' m Joh n Watson .

Okay.

Dr Watson .

-I love h is blog . Don 't you?
- H is blog?

- Don 't you read it?
-You mea n my blog?

Say what you li ke a bout add iction,
the day is fu ll of h ig h lig hts.

Oh, Mr H olmes,
you ' re feeli ng better.

Psychedelic.

I was j ust sayi ng
I love you r blog .

-Great. . .
-It's my blog .

It is. H e writes the blog .

-It's you rs?
-Yes.

-You write Sherlock's blog?
-Yes.

It's gone down h i ll a bit,
hasn 't it?

It's th is way, then .

(AP P LAU DI N G)

Oh, my God . I love you r blog .

You ' re welcome.

Rig ht. H ere he comes.
The i nternet tech .

You a ll know Sherlock H olmes.

(CH EERI N G AN D AP P LAU DI N G)

Oh, a nd Dr Watson, of cou rse.

(WEAKER AP P LAUS E)

Mr H olmes, I was wonderi ng .
Well, we a ll were, weren 't we?

Maybe you cou ld tell us
a bout some of you r cases.

- N o.
-Yes.

Yes! Absolutely, yes!

The ma i n featu re of i nterest i n
the field of cri m i na l i nvestigation

is not the sensationa l aspects
of the cri me itself

but rather, the i ron cha i n
of reason i ng from ca use to effect,

that revea ls, step-by-step,
the solution .

That's the on ly tru ly
rema rka ble aspect of the enti re affa i r.

N ow, I wi ll sha re with you the facts a nd
evidence, as they were ava i la ble to me.

And i n th is very room,

you wi ll a ll attem pt to solve
the case of Blessi ngton, the poisoner.

I th i n k you slig htly
gave away the end i ng .

-There were five ma i n suspects.
-One ca lled Blessi ngton .

It's more a bout how he d id it.

- Poison?
-Okay.

(LAUG HI N G)

Drea rcliff H ouse. Remem ber that one,
Joh n? (EXHALES) One m u rder.

-Ten suspects.
-Ten . Yea h .

-All of them g u i lty.
-Sherlock.

(STAMMERS) And what do you
ca ll that one, Joh n?

U m, someth i ng to do
with m u rder at the zoo.

Yea h, I ca lled it
"Mu rder at the zoo. "

Or was it the case of
the ki ller ora ng uta n?

MARY: H e shou ld be
wea ri ng the hat.

The kids wou ld love the hat.

-So, a ny more q uestions?
-CHI LD REN : N o.

- Boy: I don 't th i n k so.
- N o?

-CU LVERTO N : Mr H olmes. . .
-Good, then I' ll...

H ow do you ca ptu re
a seria l ki ller?

Sa me way you catch
a ny other ki ller.

N o, no. But most ki llers
ki ll someone they know.

You ' re looki ng for a m u rderer
i n a ti ny socia l g rou pi ng .

U m, Mr Sm ith .
U m, I' m j ust, u h, wonderi ng

maybe th is isn 't
a su ita ble su bject for the ch i ld ren .

N u rse Corn ish .

- H ow long have you been with us now?
-Seven yea rs.

Seven yea rs.

Okay.

Seria l ki llers choose
thei r victi ms at ra ndom .

Su rely that m ust
ma ke it more d ifficu lt.

Some of them advertise.

Do they rea lly?

Seria l ki lli ng is a n
expression of power, ego.

A sig natu re
i n h u ma n destruction .

U lti mately, for fu ll satisfaction,
it req u i res pla i n sig ht.

Add itiona lly, seria l ki llers
a re easi ly profi led .

They tend to be
socia l outcasts.

- Ed ucationa lly su b-norma l.
-CU LVERTO N : N o, no, no, no, no.

You ' re j ust ta lki ng a bout the ones you
know. The ones you 've ca ug ht.

But, hello, d u m my.
You on ly catch the d u m b ones.

N ow, i mag i ne if the Queen wa nted to ki ll
some people. What wou ld ha ppen then?

All that power,
a ll that money,

sweet little govern ment,
da nci ng attenda nts.

A whole cou ntry,
j ust to keep her wa rm a nd fat.

H m m .

We a ll love
the Queen, don 't we?

And I bet she'd
love you lot...

It's a ll rig ht, everyone.
I ca n persona lly assu re you

that Sherlock H olmes is not
a bout to a rrest the Queen .

Well, of cou rse not.

N ot H er Majesty.

Money. Power. Fa me.

Some th i ngs
ma ke you u ntoucha ble.

God save the Queen !

She cou ld open
a sla ug hterhouse

a nd we'd a ll proba bly
pay the entra nce fee.

N o one's u ntoucha ble.

CU LVERTO N : N o one?

Look at you a ll.

So g loomy. Ca n 't you ta ke a joke?
(LAUG HS) The Queen .

If the Queen was a seria l ki ller,
I'd be the fi rst person she'd tell.

We have that ki nd
of friendsh i p.

A big rou nd of a ppla use
for Sherlock H olmes a nd Dr Watson .

- (CLAP PI N G) Come on .
- (CROWD AP P LAU DI N G)

Wonderfu l.

Tha n k you so m uch for com i ng .
Tha n k you .

-Where a re we goi ng now?
-I wa nt to show you my favou rite room .

N o, let's go i n here.

So, you 've had a nother one
of you r little meeti ngs?

Oh, it's j ust
a month ly top-u p.

Confession is good
for the sou l.

- Provided you ca n delete it.
-What's TD 1 2?

It's a memory i n h i bitor.

Bliss.

Bliss?

Opt-i n ig nora nce.

Ma kes the world go rou nd .

Anyone ever opt to remem ber?

Some people ta ke the d ri p out.
Yes, some people have the sa me u rges.

N ow, come on . Wasti ng ti me.

Indeed you have,
I esti mate, 2 0 m i n utes left.

Sorry?

I sent a text from you r phone, remem ber?

It was read a lmost i m med iately,
factori ng i n a deg ree of shock,

a nd emotiona l decision, a nd a jou rney
ti me based on the associated add ress.

I'd say that you r life as you know
it has 2 0 m i n utes left to ru n .

Well, no. 1 7 a nd a ha lf, to be precise,
but I rou nded u p for d ra matic effect.

So please do show us
you r favou rite room .

It' ll g ive you a cha nce
to say good-bye.

(CH UCKLES)

Come a long .

MARY: The ga me is on .

Do you sti ll m iss me?

Spea ki ng of seria l ki llers,
you know who's my favou rite?

Other tha n you rself?

(CH UCKLES) H . H . H olmes.

Relative of you rs?

N ot as fa r as I know.

You shou ld check.

What a n id iot.

Everyone out.

Mr Sm ith, we' re actua lly
i n the m idd le of someth i ng .

Sa heed, isn 't it?

Sa heed . Yes.

H ow long have you been worki ng here now?

Fou r yea rs.

Fou r yea rs.

Well, that's a long ti me,
isn 't it?

Fou r yea rs.

Okay, everyone.

- Five m i n utes?
-Come back i n ten .

Sa heed .

Th is ti me, knock.

H ow ca n you do that?
H ow. . . H ow a re you even a llowed i n here?

Oh, I ca n go a nywhere I li ke.

(KEYS JI N G LI N G)

Anywhere at a ll.

They gave you keys?

They presented them to me.

There was a ceremony.

You ca n watch that on YouTu be.
The H ome Secreta ry was there.

So, you r favou rite room .
The mortua ry.

What do you th i n k?

Toug h crowd .

Oh, I don 't know.

You know, I've a lways
fou nd them q u ite plia ble.

Don 't do that.

She's fi ne.

She's dead .

H . H . H olmes loved the dead .

H e mass-prod uced them .

Seria l ki ller, active
d u ri ng the Ch icago Fa i r.

You know what he d id?

H e bu i lt a hotel,
a specia l hotel, j ust to ki ll people.

You know, with a ha ng i ng room,
gas cha m ber, specia lly ada pted fu rnace.

You know, li ke Sweeney Todd .

"Without the pies. "

Stu pid .

So stu pid .

Why stu pid?

Well, a ll that effort.

You don 't bu i ld a beach
if you wa nt to h ide a pebble.

You j ust fi nd a beach a nd ...

If you wa n na h ide a m u rder,
you wa n na h ide lots a nd lots of m u rders,

j ust fi nd a ...

hospita l.

Ca n we be clea r?
Are you confessi ng?

To what?

The way you ' re ta lki ng .

Oh, sorry.

Yes.

You mea n, a m I
a seria l ki ller?

Or a m I j ust tryi ng to mess
with you r fu n ny little head?

Well, it's true.

I do li ke to mess with people, a nd yes,

I a m a bit creepy
but that's j ust my US P.

I use it to sell
brea kfast cerea l.

But a m I what he says I a m?

Is that what you ' re aski ng?

-Yes.
- H m m .

Well. Let me ask you th is.

-Are you rea lly a doctor?
-Yea h, of cou rse I a m .

Oh . Well, no,
a med ica l doctor,

you know, not j ust feet or
med ia stud ies or someth i ng .

I' m a doctor.

Are you serious?

N o, rea lly.

Are you?

Are you, a re you
actua lly serious?

I've played a long
with th is joke.

It's not fu n ny a ny more.

You know, look at h i m .

Go a head, look at h i m,
Dr Watson . H m m?

Oh no, I' ll lay it
out for you .

There a re two possi ble
expla nations for what's goi ng on here.

Either I' m a seria l ki ller,

or Sherlock H olmes is
off h is tits on d rugs. H m m?

Delusiona l pa ra noia
a bout a pu blic persona lity.

That's not so specia l.
It's not even new.

I th i n k you need to tell
you r fa ithfu l little friend

how you ' re wasti ng h is ti me
beca use you ' re too h ig h

to know what's rea l a ny more.

I a polog ise.

(STAMMERS) I m isca lcu lated .

I forgot to
factor i n the traffic.

N i neteen a nd a ha lf m i n utes.
(CLEARS TH ROAT)

(DOO R O P ENI N G)

Ah, the footsteps you ' re a bout to
hea r wi ll be very fa m i lia r to you,

not least beca use there' ll be
th ree i m pacts rather tha n two.

The th i rd of cou rse, wi ll be
the end of a wa lki ng ca ne.

You r da ug hter Fa ith 's
wa lki ng ca ne.

Why wou ld she be here?

You i nvited her.

You sent her a text.
Or, or, or,

tech n ica lly I sent her a text,
but she's not to know.

U m, let's see if I ca n reca ll.

" Fa ith, I ca n
sta nd it no longer.

"I've confessed to my cri mes.

" Please forg ive me. "

H ow wou ld that
have a ny effect?

You don 't know her.

Oh, but I do.

I spent a whole even i ng
with her.

We had ch i ps.

I th i n k she li ked me.

You don 't know Fa ith .
You si m ply do not.

I know you ca re
a bout her deeply.

I know you i nvited her
to one of you r specia l boa rd meeti ngs.

You ca re what she th i n ks.

(CH UCKLI N G) You ma i nta i n
a n i m pressive facade.

I th i n k it's a bout to brea k.

Did you know?

-She ca me to Ba ker Street.
- N o, she d id n 't.

Of cou rse I d id n 't.

She ca me to see me

beca use she was sca red
of her daddy.

N ever ha ppened . Is th is a nother one of
you r d rug-fuelled fa ntasies?

You d id n 't you see h i m ta ke the sca lpel?

N obody saw it.

So you d id n 't know
what was a bout to ha ppen?

Of cou rse I d id n 't know.

Well, let's see, sha ll we?

Fa ith, stop loiteri ng
at the door a nd come i n .

Th is is you r father's
favou rite room .

Come a nd meet
h is best friends.

FAITH : Dad? What's ha ppen i ng?

What was that text?

Another one
of you r jokes? (CH UCKLES)

Who a re you?

Who the hell a re you?

CU LVERTO N : Sherlock H olmes.
Su rely you recog n ise h i m .

Oh, my God .

Sherlock H olmes?

I love you r blog .

(SIG HS) You ' re not her. You ' re not
the woma n who ca me to Ba ker Street.

Erm, well, no.
N ever been there.

Well, there m ust've been some
bu i ld-u p. H e d id n 't j ust sudden ly do it.

Look, I d id n 't know
he had the bloody sca lpel.

Sorry, I' m not su re
I com pletely u ndersta nd .

U ndersta nd what?

But I thoug ht you two were,
were old friends!

N o, we've never met.

Oh, dea r! (LAUG HS)

- Have we?
- (SMITH LAUG HS)

Sherlock?

So who ca me to my flat?

-Well, it wasn 't me.
- (LAUG HI N G)

You look d ifferent.

-I wasn 't there.
- (LAUG HS)

S H ERLOCK: Who came to my flat?

FAITH : Im sorry, Mr Holmes, but...

I don 't th i n k I've ever been
a nywhere nea r you r flat.

(LAUG HS) Oh, dea r. Oh, no.

Who you ta lki ng to?

-What friend?
-Anyone.

(LAUG HI N G) Oh, no !

S H ERLOCK: Fa ith?

(PANTI N G) Oh God . Come on .

(SMITH LAUG HI N G)

Sherlock.

Sherlock, you a ll rig ht?
Sherlock, you okay?

-Watch h i m . H e's got a kn ife.
-Got a what?

Got a sca lpel. You picked it u p from
that ta ble. I saw you ta ke it.

I certa i n ly d id not!

Look beh i nd h is back!

- Look. (LAUG HS)
-I saw you ta ke it! I saw you !

-Whoa, whoa, whoa !
-Sherlock, put that down .

- FAITH : Oh my God . My God !
- Put it down .

(SMITH LAUG HI N G)

-Stop la ug h i ng at me.
-I' m not la ug h i ng .

- H e's not la ug h i ng, Sherlock.
-Stop la ug h i ng at me !

-Sherlock!
- (SCREAMS)

(G ROANS) Ch rist.

I keep wonderi ng
if we shou ld 've seen it com i ng .

N ot long ago, he shot
Cha rles Mag n ussen i n the face.

We d id see it com i ng .
We a lways saw it com i ng .

- But it was fu n .
- (KN OCKI N G AT DOO R)

-Come i n .
-WOMAN : Si r.

You proba bly wa n na see th is.

N EWS READ ER: Harold Chorley
rePorting earlier today.

Mr Smith stated he had
no interest in bringing charges.

Im a fan ofSherlock Holmes,
Im a big fan.

I don t really know what
haPPened today. To be honest,

I don t think Id be standing here
now ifit wasn t for Dr Watson.

-Stop la ug h i ng at me !
- (WHIMP ERI N G)

Sherlock!

Stop it! Stop it now!

REPO RTER: Is it true he s
been treated in your hosPital?

Its not actually my hosPital.
Well, it is a Iittle bit my hosPital.

But I can Promise you this.
He s going to get the best of care.

I might even move him
to my favourite room.

N EWS READ ER: Culverton Smith,
earlier today.

In Nottingham...

H e's rig ht, you know,
you proba bly saved h is life.

What a re you doi ng? Wa ke u p!

I rea lly h it h i m, Greg .
H it h i m ha rd .

(G RU NTI N G)

JO H N : Is th is a ga me?
A bloody ga me.

(G RU NTI N G)

Please, please, please,
no violence.

Tha n k you, Dr Watson .

I don 't th i n k he's
a da nger a ny more.

Leave h i m be.

N o.

It's okay.

Let h i m do what he wa nts.

H e's entitled .

I ki lled h is wife.

Yes, you d id .

(MO NITO R B EEPI N G)

Oh, h i .

J ust i n to say hello?

N o, I' m j ust i n
to say good bye.

I' m su re he' ll pu ll th roug h .

Yea h, he's made a terri ble
mess of h i mself,

but, he's awfu lly strong,
so, we m ust look on the brig ht side.

Well. . . (CLEARS TH ROAT)

Pa rti ng g ift.

Aww, that's n ice.

A wa lki ng stick.

Yea h, it was m i ne from
a long ti me ago.

- (P H O N E RI N GI N G)
- (CLEARS TH ROAT)

H ello? Wa rd 7 3 .

Oh, u h, Dr Watson ...

H m m?

It's for you .

H ello, Mycroft.

MYCRO FT: There s a car
downstairs.

You know he shou ld
defi n itely have worn the hat.

Sti ll th i n ki ng
a bout Sherlock?

N o, you a re.

You 've got you r
d isa pprovi ng face on .

Well, seei ng as I' m i nside you r head,
I th i n k we ca n ca ll that self-loath i ng .

Where is she?
Where is Mrs H udson?

She' ll be u p i n a moment.

-U h, what a re you doi ng?
-Sorry...

Have you noticed the kitchen?
It's practica lly a meth la b.

I' m tryi ng to esta blish exactly what
d rove Sherlock off the ra i ls, a ny ideas?

Are these spooks?

Are you usi ng spooks now,
to look after you r fa m i ly.

Ha ng on, a re they tidyi ng?

Sherlock is a secu rity concern .

The fact that I' m h is brother
cha nges noth i ng .

-Yea h you sa id that before.
-Ask h i m .

Why fixate on Cu lverton Sm ith?

H e's had h is obsessions
before, of cou rse.

But th is goes a
bit fu rther tha n

setti ng a ma n tra p
for Father Ch ristmas.

Do it. Ask h i m .

Spend i ng a ll n ig ht ta lki ng to
a woma n who wasn 't even there.

Oh sh ut u p, you .

Mycroft, last ti me
when we were on the phone...

N o, no, no, stop.
I detest conversation i n the past tense.

You sa id the fact that
you ' re h is brother made no d ifference.

It doesn 't.

You sa id it d id n 't the last ti me,
a nd it wou ld n 't with Sherlock.

So who was it the last ti me?

-Who a re you ta lki ng a bout?
-Atta boy.

N obody.

I m isspoke.

- H e's lyi ng .
-You ' re lyi ng .

I assu re you I' m not.

MARY: H e rea lly is lyi ng .

Sherlock's not
you r on ly brother.

There's a nother
one, isn 't there?

- N o.
- (LAUG HI N G) Jesus.

A secret brother. What, is he locked u p
i n a tower or someth i ng?

Mycroft H olmes.

What a re these d readfu l
people doi ng i n my house?

Mrs H udson I a polog ise
for the i nterru ption .

As you know, my brother has em ba rked i n
a prog ra m me of self-destruction,

rema rka ble even by h is
sta nda rds,

a nd I' m endeavou ri ng
to fi nd out what triggered it.

-And that's what you ' re looki ng for?
-Qu ite so.

What's on h is m i nd?

-So to spea k.
-And you 've had a ll th is ti me?

Ti me bei ng someth i ng of wh ich
we don 't have a n i nfi n ite su pply.

So, if we cou ld be
a bout ou r busi ness.

(GIGG LI N G)

You ' re so fu n ny, you a re !

Mrs H udson?

H e th i n ks you ' re clever.

Poor old Sherlock.

Always goi ng on a bout you .

I mea n he knows
you ' re a n id iot.

But that's okay, 'ca use
you a re a lovely doctor.

But he has no idea
what a n id iot you a re !

Is th is merely strea m
of consciousness a buse,

or a re you attem pti ng
to ma ke a poi nt?

You wa nt to know what's
botheri ng Sherlock?

Easiest th i ng i n the world .
Anyone ca n do it.

I know h is thoug ht processes
better tha n a ny other h u ma n bei ng .

So please try to u ndersta nd .

H e's not a bout th i n ki ng .
N ot Sherlock.

-Of cou rse he is.
- N o. H e's more emotiona l, isn 't he?

U nsolved case, shoot the wa ll.
(MAKES S H OOTI N G SOU N DS)

U n made brea kfast
ka rate the fridge.

U na nswered q uestions...

Well, what does he do
with a nyth i ng he ca n 't a nswer, Joh n?

Every ti me.

H e sta bs it.

Anyth i ng he ca n 't fi nd the a nswer for,
ba ng ! It's u p there.

I keep telli ng you,
if he was a ny good as the detective

I wou ld n 't need a new ma ntle.

MARY: Ifyoure
watching this, Im...

Probably dead.

Okay no, stop that
now, please.

MRS H U DSO N : Everybody out now.

All of you !

Th is is my house, th is is my friend,
a nd that's h is depa rted wife.

Anyone who stays
here a m i n ute longer

is ad m itti ng to me persona lly,
they do not have

a si ng le spa rk of
h u ma n decency.

Get out of my house.

You repti le.

You 've been ages wa ki n ' u p.

I watched you .

It was q u ite
lovely i n its way.

Ta ke it easy, it's okay.

I don 't wa nt to rush th is.

You ' re Sherlock H olmes.

MARY: Im giving you
a case, Sherlock.

Might be the hardest
case ofyour career.

When Im...

Gone, iflm gone.

I needyou to do
something for me.

Savejohn Watson.

Save him.

Sherlock...

Joh n, you wa nt to
watch th is later?

MARY: Save him.

Don t think anyone else is going to save
him because there isn t anyone.

Its uP to you. Save him.

But I do think youre going to
need a Iittle helP with that,

because youre not
exactly good with PeoPIe.

So here s a few things you need to
know about the man we both Iove.

And more imPortantly, what youre going
to need to do to save him.

H ow d id you get i n?

Policemen outside, you mea n?

Come on, ca n 't you g uess?

Secret door.

I bu i lt th is whole wi ng .

Kept fi ri ng the a rch itect
who bu i lt it, so no one

knew q u ite,
how it a ll fitted together.

I ca n sli p i n a nd out.

Anywhere I li ke, you know.

When I get the u rge.

H . H . H olmes.

Mu rder castle, but done rig ht.

I have a q uestion for you .

Why you a re here?

It's li ke you wa lked i nto my den
a nd la id down i n front of me.

Why?

You know why I' m here.

I'd li ke to hea r you say it.

Say it for me please.

I wa nt you to ki ll me.

Joh n .

My ca r.

Increase the dosage
fou r, five ti mes, the toxic shock

shou ld sh ut me down,
with i n a bout a n hou r.

Then I' ll restore
the setti ngs.

Everyone assu mes
that it was a fa u lt, or...

-You j ust gave u p the g host.
-Yes.

You a re good at th is.

Before we sta rt,
tell me how you feel.

I...

-I feel sca red .
- (CH UCKLES)

Be more specific.

You on ly get to do
th is the once.

Sca red of dyi ng .

You wa nted th is thoug h .

I have reasons.

But you don 't
actua lly wa nt to d ie.

N o.

Good .

Say that for me.

-Say it.
-I don 't wa nt to d ie.

And aga i n .

I don 't wa nt to d ie.

Once more for luck.

I don 't wa nt to d ie.

I don 't...

I don 't wa nt to d ie.

Lovely.

H ere it comes.

JO H N : PIease, I don t think he s safe.

LESTRAD E: No, he s fine,
Got a man on the door.

What do you thinks haPPened?

I don 't know, someth i ng .
Ma ry left a message.

What message?

John Watson,

never accePts helP,
not from anyone.

Not ever, but here s the
thing, he never refuses it.

So, here s is what
you are going to do.

So tell me, why
a re we doi ng th is?

To what do I owe the pleasu re?

I wa nted to hea r
you r confession .

N eeded to know I was rig ht.

Why do you need to d ie?

The mortua ry,

you r favou rite room .

You ta lk to the dead .

You ma ke you r
confession to them .

I' m sorry, si r, what?
What do you mea n?

- (DOO R RATTLES)
-I th i n k the door is ja m med .

Oh, has that door
locked itself aga i n?

Yea h, it's a lways doi ng that.

You can t savejohn,
because he won t Iet you.

He won t allow
himself to be saved.

The only way to savejohn,

is to make him save you.

Why do you do it?

Why do I ki ll?

It's not a bout hatred
or revenge.

I' m not a da rk person .

Ki lli ng h u ma n bei ngs...

(CH UCKLES)

It j ust ma kes me...

Ah . Incred i bly ha ppy.

You know, i n fi lms when
you see dead people,

pretend i ng to be dead,
a nd it's j ust livi ng people lyi ng down?

That's not what
dead people look li ke.

Dead people

look li ke th i ngs.

I li ke to ma ke people
i nto th i ngs.

Then you ca n own them .

You know what,
I' m getti ng a little i m patient.

Ta ke a big breath if you wa nt.

Go to hell, Sherlock.

Go right into hell.

And make it Iook Iike
you mean it.

Mu rder is a very d ifficu lt
add iction to ma nage.

People don 't rea lise how
m uch work goes i nto it.

You have to be ca refu l.

But if you ' re rich,
or fa mous a nd loved,

it's a mazi ng what people
a re prepa red to ig nore.

There's a lways
someone desperate a bout to go m issi ng,

a nd no one is su pposed to suspect m u rder
if it's easier to suspect

someth i ng else.

I j ust have to ration myself,
choose the rig ht hea rt to stop.

Go andPick a fight with a badguy,
Put yourselfin harm s way.

(WHIS P ERI N G)
Ma i nta i n eye contact.

Ma i nta i n eye contact.

Ma i nta i n eye contact.

I li ke to watch it ha ppen .

Ifhe thinks you
need him, I swear...

And off we pop.

He will be there.

(MO NTIO R B EEPI N G FASTER)

- (DOO R S LAMS O P EN )
- (H O LMES I N HALI N G)

Mr H olmes, you okay?

What were you
doi ng to h i m? What were you doi ng !

- H e's i n d istress, I' m helpi ng h i m !
- Restra i n h i m now, do it.

-I was tryi ng to help h i m !
-Sherlock, what was he doi ng to you?

Suffocati ng me.

-Overdosi ng me.
-On what?

-Sa li ne.
-Sa li ne?

-Yea h, sa li ne. (MOANS)
-What do you mea n, sa li ne?

Well, obviously,
I got N u rse Corn ish to switch the bags.

She's a big fa n, you know.

Loves my blog .

-You ' re okay?
- N o of cou rse I' m not okay.

Ma lnou rished, dou ble
kid ney fa i lu re,

a nd fra n kly, I've been
off my tits for weeks.

What ki nd of doctor a re you?

(G ROANS) I got my confession
thoug h, d id n 't I?

Well, I d id n 't reca ll
ma ki ng a ny confession .

(STAMMERI N G) What wou ld
I be confessi ng to?

You ca n listen to it later.

Well, there is no confession
to listen to.

Oh, Mr H olmes, I don 't know
if th is is releva nt, but

we fou nd th ree potentia l record i ng
devices, i n the pockets of you r coat.

All you r possessions
were sea rched . Sorry.

There m ust be someth i ng
comforti ng a bout the n u m ber th ree,

people a lways
g ive u p after th ree.

What? What is it? What?

Oh ...

-You cock.
-Yea h .

Utter, utter cock.

H ea rd you the fi rst ti me.

H ow does that open?

Screw the top.

-Two weeks ago?
-Th ree.

I' m that pred icta ble?

N o.

(SIG HS)

I' m j ust a cock.

CU LVERTO N : It's fu n ny.

N ever rea lised confessi ng
wou ld be so enjoya ble.

Shou ld have done it sooner.

We' ll ca rry on tomorrow.

Well, we cou ld ca rry on now,
I' m not ti red .

There's a loads more.

Tomorrow.

You know,
I a m gon na be so fa mous now.

You ' re a lready fa mous.

Yea h, but with th is...

I cou ld brea k America .

S H ERLOCK: I had of course
several other back uP PIans.

The trouble is, I couldn t
remember what they were.

And of cou rse I had n 't
rea lly a ntici pated

that I'd ha lluci nated
meeti ng h is da ug hter.

MARY: Basica lly he trashed
h i mself on d rugs

so that you ' ll help h i m,
so that you 'd have someth i ng to do,

someth i ng doctory,
you get that now, don 't you?

Sti ll a bit trou bled
by the da ug hter.

Did seem very rea l.

She gave me i nformation I cou ld n 't
have acq u i red elsewhere.

But she wasn 't ever here?

Interesti ng, isn 't it?
I have theorised before

that if one cou ld atten uate
to every ava i la ble

data strea m i n the world si m u lta neously,

it wou ld be possi ble to a ntici pate
a nd ded uce a lmost a nyth i ng .

H m m .

So you d rea med u p a mag ic woma n
who told you th i ngs you d id n 't know?

That sou nds a bout rig ht to me.
Possi bly I' m biased .

Perha ps the d rugs opened
certa i n doors i n my m i nd .

-I' m i ntrig ued .
- Look, I know you a re.

Wh ich is why we' re a ll ta ki ng it i n
tu rns to keep you off the sweeties.

I thoug ht we were
j ust ha ng i ng out.

Molly wi ll be here
i n 2 0 m i n utes.

Oh, I do th i n k I ca n last twenty m i n utes
without su pervision .

Well, if you ' re su re.

Ch rist, Joh n, stay, ta lk.

U m, sorry, it's j ust, u h,
you know, Rosie.

Yes, of cou rse, Rosie.

Go a nd solve a cri me together,
ma ke h i m wea r the hat.

-You ' ll be okay for 2 0 m i n utes?
-Yes, yes.

Sorry, I wasn 't
th i n ki ng of Rosie.

- N o problem . Listen, u h . . .
-We shou ld, u h ...

I' ll come a nd see you, soon .

Yes.

Actua lly, he shou ld wea r
the hat as a specia l tri bute to me.

I' m dead .
I wou ld rea lly a ppreciate it.

Oh, by the way, the record i ngs wi ll
proba bly be i nad m issi ble.

Sorry what?

Well, tech n ica lly it's entra pment, so...

It m ig ht get th rown out as evidence.
N ot that that matters.

Appa rently he ca n 't
stop confessi ng .

-That's good .
-Yea h .

-Are you okay?
- (CH UCKLES)

(STAMMERS) N o, I' m not okay.

I' m never gon na be okay.

We j ust have to accept that.
It is what it is.

And what it is, is...

-Sh it.
-Joh n, do better.

You d id n 't ki ll Ma ry.

Ma ry d ied savi ng you r life.

It's her choice.

N o one made her do it,
no one cou ld ever ma ke her do a nyth i ng .

But the poi nt is,

you d id not ki ll her.

In savi ng my life
she conferred a va lue on it.

It is a cu rrency I do not
know how to spend .

It is what it is.

I' m tomorrow six ti ll ten,
I' ll see you then .

Looki ng forwa rd to it.

Yea h .

(MOANI N G COMI N G FROM MO BI LE)

-That noise, that's a text a lert noise.
-What was that?

H m m? What was what?

That's the text a lert of Irene
Ad ler, she's the sca ry mad one, rig ht?

That noise.

What noise?

She's dead . (GAS PS)

Oh I bet she isn 't dead .
I bet he saved her.

(LAUG HI N G) Oh, my God !

Oh, the posh boy
loves the dom i natrix!

H e's never knowi ng ly
u nder-clichéd, is he?

Joh n?

I' m gon na ma ke a ded uction .

-Oh okay, that's good .
-And if my ded uction is rig ht,

you ' re gon na be honest
a nd tell me, okay?

Okay. Thoug h I shou ld mention that it is
possi ble for a ny g iven text a lert

-to become ra ndom ly attached to. . .
- Ha ppy bi rthday.

Tha n k you, Joh n,
that's very ki nd of you .

N ever knew when
you r bi rthday was.

Well, now you do.

Seriously, we' re not goi ng
to ta lk a bout th is?

Ta lk a bout what?

-I mea n, how does it work?
- H ow does what work?

You a nd the woma n, do you go to
a d iscreet Ha rvester someti mes, is there

-n ig hts of passion i n H ig h Wycom be?
-Oh, for God 's sa kes.

-I don 't text her back.
- (CH UCKLI N G) Why not?

You bloody moron !

She's out there, she li kes
you, a nd she's a live,

a nd do you have the fi rst idea
how lucky you a re?

Yes she's a lu natic, she's a cri m i na l,
she's i nsa nely da ngerous,

trust you to fa ll
for a sociopath .

Oh, ma rried a n assassi n .

But she's, you know...

-What?
-J ust text her back.

-Why?
- Beca use H ig h Wycom be

is better tha n you a re cu rrently
eq u i pped to u ndersta nd .

I once ca ug ht a tri ple
poisoner i n H ig h Wycom be.

That's on ly the beg i n n i ng,
mate.

As I th i n k I've expla i n to
you ma ny ti mes before,

roma ntic enta ng lement,

wh i le fu lfi lli ng for
other people...

Wou ld com plete you
as a h u ma n bei ng .

-That doesn 't even mea n a nyth i ng .
-J ust text her.

Phone her, do someth i ng
wh i le there's sti ll a cha nce.

Beca use that cha nce
doesn 't last forever.

Trust me, Sherlock,
it's gone before you know it.

Before you know it.

She was wrong a bout me.

Ma ry? H ow so?

She thoug ht that if you put
you rself i n ha rm 's way, I'd ...

I'd rescue you or someth i ng .

But I d id n 't,
not 'ti ll she told me to.

And that's how th is works,
that's what you ' re m issi ng .

She ta ug ht me to be the ma n
she a lready thoug ht I was.

Get you rself a piece of that.

Look at me, you a re
doi ng you rself a d isservice.

I have known ma ny people i n th is
world, but made few friends,

-a nd I ca n safely say. . .
-I cheated on her.

N o clever comeback?
I cheated on you, Ma ry.

It was a woma n, on the bus,

a nd I had a plastic da isy i n my ha i r,
I'd been playi ng with Rosie.

And th is g i rl j ust
sm i led at me.

That's a ll it was,
it was a sm i le.

We texted consta ntly.

You wa nt to know when? Every ti me
you left the room, that's when .

When you were feed i ng
ou r da ug hter.

When you were stoppi ng her
from cryi ng, that's when .

That's a ll it was.

J ust texti ng .

But I wa nted more.

And you know someth i ng?
I sti ll do.

I' m not the ma n
you thoug ht I was.

I' m not that g uy.

I never cou ld be.

But that's the poi nt.

That's the whole poi nt.

Who you thoug ht I was...

is the ma n who I wa nt to be.

Well then,

Joh n Watson .

Get the hell on with it.

(SO B BI N G)

It's okay.

It's not okay.

N o.

But it is what it is.

S H ERLOCK: So, Mollys gonna
meet us at this cake PIace.

JO H N : Its your birthday,
cake is obligatory.

Well, I su ppose a suga r h ig h
is some sort of su bstitute.

Behave.

Rig ht then . You know,
it's not my place to say, but,

it was j ust texti ng .

People text, even I text, her.

I mea n, Woma n . Bad idea .

Try not to, but,
you know, someti mes...

It's not a pleasa nt
thoug ht, Joh n .

But I have th is terri ble
feeli ng from ti me to ti me

that we m ig ht a ll
j ust be h u ma n .

- Even you?
- N o.

Even you .

-Ca ke?
-Ca ke.

Oh, erm ...

What. What is it?

What's wrong?

(CH UCKLES) Seriously?

I' m Sherlock H olmes.
I wea r the da m n hat.

Isn 't that rig ht, Ma ry?

TH ERAPIST: You seem
so m uch better, Joh n .

Yea h, I a m . I th i n k I a m .

N ot a ll day, not every day,
but, u h, you know.

-It is what it is?
-Yea h .

And Rosie?

Bea utifu l, perfect.

U n precedented i n the
h istory of ch i ld ren .

That's not my bias,

-that's scientific fact.
-Good .

And Sherlock H olmes?

Back to norma l.

S H ERLOCK: Get out!
MAN : She's possessed by the devi l.

I swea r my wife
is cha n nelli ng Sata n !

Yes, bori ng, go away.

-I' m not cha n nelli ng Sata n .
-Why not?

Given you r
i m med iate a lternative.

What a bout h is brother?

Mycroft? H e's fi ne.

So, you ' re off now, I won 't
see you for a week?

J ust spend i ng it at home.

U n less she ca lls.

The PM.

- H ere.
-What's th is?

My n u m ber.

I a lready have you r n u m ber.

My private n u m ber.

Why wou ld I need that?

I don 't know.

Maybe you 'd li ke
a d ri n k someti me.

Of what?

U p to you .

Ca ll me.

(CH UCKLI N G)

I mea n obviously, norma l
a nd fi ne a re both relative terms

when it comes to
Sherlock a nd Mycroft.

(CH UCKLES) Obviously.

She was rea l.

But, I d id n 't mea n Mycroft.
I mea n the other one.

Wh ich other one?

You know, the secret one.

Oh, that was j ust someth i ng ...

I sa id . I' m su re there's...

H ow d id you know a bout that?
I d id n 't tell you that.

-You m ust have done.
-I rea lly d id n 't.

Well, maybe Sherlock told me.

Wa it, you 've met Sherlock
exactly once, i n th is room .

H e was off h is head .

Oh no, no.

- (STAMMERI N G) I met h i m before that.
-When?

We spent a n ig ht together.

It was lovely.

We had ch i ps.

(I N FAITH 'S VOICE) You ' re not
what I expected, Mr H olmes.

You ' re...

N icer.

Cu lverton gave me
Fa ith 's orig i na l note.

A m utua l friend
put us i n touch .

Did Sherlock ever tell
you a bout the note?

I added some ded uctions for
Sherlock. H e was q u ite good .

But he d id n 't get the big one.

In fa i rness thoug h, he does
have excellent taste i n ch i ps.

-What's that?
-What's what?

The flower i n you r ha i r
is li ke I had on the bus.

You looked very sweet.

But then ...

You have such n ice eyes.

Amazi ng, the ti mes
a ma n doesn 't rea lly look at you r face.

Oh, you ca n h ide
beh i nd a sexy sm i le or a wa lki ng ca ne.

Or j ust be a thera pist,
ta lki ng a bout you .

All the ti me.

Oh, please don 't go a nywhere, I' m su re
the thera pist who actua lly lives here

wou ld n 't wa nt blood
on the ca rpet.

Oh, ha ng on . It's fi ne.

She's i n a sack
i n the a i ri ng cu pboa rd .

-Who a re you?
-Isn 't it obvious?

Haven 't you g uessed?

I' m Eu rus.

Eu rus?

Si lly na me, isn 't it? Greek.
Mea ns the East Wi nd .

My pa rents loved si lly na mes.

Li ke Eu rus,

or Mycroft,

or Sherlock.

Oh, look at h i m .

Did n 't it ever occu r to
you not even once,

that Sherlock's secret brother
m ig ht j ust be Sherlock's secret sister?

Oh .

H e's ma ki ng a fu n ny face.

I th i n k I' ll put a hole i n it.

(GU NS H OT)