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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,760 Busty divorcee, fifties, 2 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,360 seeks energetic male, any age, 3 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,000 to share dinner, wine, and et cetera. 4 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,120 Box 19. 5 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,120 Shot it myself this morning. 6 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,400 No time for hanging. 7 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,320 Mid-season hens, 8 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,920 best eaten as soon as they come out of rigour mortis, 9 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,840 Don't you agree? 10 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:50,640 Wait there. 11 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,240 I'll go and scare up some gravy. 12 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,600 A few lumps. 13 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,920 The odd giblet's not going to kill us, hey? 14 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,360 Here's mud in your eye. 15 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:30,440 Well, I do like a man who can guess my size. 16 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:33,880 Oh! 17 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,720 Oh, not quite what I had in mind, 18 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,440 but I'm game if you are. 19 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,000 How many corners are there in a kitten? 20 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,520 How many mittens in a rectangle? 21 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,800 Oh, these furry little blighters are blurring into one. 22 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,240 Oh! 23 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,560 Oh, I might shut my eyes for a tick. 24 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,720 Morning sister. 25 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,840 Yes, good morning to you, Peggy. 26 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:30,080 Though, I doubt it's been a good morning for our... 27 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,560 hapless milkman. 28 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:32,920 Oh, I know. 29 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,760 It's Terry's second ol' stiff this month. 30 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:35,640 Poor Terry. 31 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,800 Let's see if the unfortunate deceased 32 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,040 has her own tale to tell. 33 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,120 Hilary Sympson-Smythe, age 58. 34 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,680 Likely cause of death, coronary heart disease. 35 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,800 The jigsaw puzzle is "You Shall Have No Pie," 36 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,160 based on a nursery rhyme 37 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,320 in which three kittens lose their mittens. 38 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,520 Yeah, I'm familiar with the Mother Goose canon. 39 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,880 Hardly thrilling enough to prompt a heart attack. 40 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,200 Just me, or is there something wrong with this picture? 41 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,520 Well, the picture and the puzzle. 42 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,520 Meaning? 43 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,360 Piece missing, bottom left. 44 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,640 Question is, 45 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,600 why would anyone attempt to 200-piece puzzle 46 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,120 with a face covered in cold cream? 47 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,800 Why indeed? 48 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,440 The greasy pieces are a puzzler's worst nightmare. 49 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,200 All right, maybe not the worst, 50 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:31,200 but definitely top five. 51 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,280 Would you mind taking Peggy house-to-house? 52 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,480 See if anyone heard or saw anything last night? 53 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,360 Sir. 54 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,080 Lily scent, lanolin base notes. 55 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,480 How long would it take to do 200-piece puzzle? 56 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,000 Ah, well that can be expressed 57 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,160 as N multiplied by N, 58 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,640 so a 200-piece puzzle 59 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,160 is four times as difficult as a 100-piece, 60 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,560 while a 500 is 25 times harder than a 100-piece, 61 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,600 the reason being that one must compare each jigsaw piece 62 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,120 to N other pieces. 63 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,480 Quite a while. 64 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,360 Yeah, unless she had help. 65 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,600 And given that she's gone all out 66 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,960 on the frock, lipstick and pearls, 67 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,160 I bet that help was a gentleman caller. 68 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,200 Whoever was here was certainly careful to tidy up. 69 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,400 Oh I'll say. 70 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,400 Not a print insight. 71 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,760 Powdery residue on the coffee table though. 72 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,240 And some on the sofa too. 73 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,560 Tucked behind the bread bin. 74 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,440 Ah. 75 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,920 Someone should head down to the Bugle. 76 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,840 And I suppose that someone ought to be you. 77 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,040 I need to talk to you about your lonely hearts. 78 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,760 Perfect timing. 79 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,680 You can take advantage of our one-month free offer. 80 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,160 For an investigation. 81 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,720 Obviously I'd like to help, 82 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,080 but the persons behind our personals are confidential, Sam, 83 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,400 I'm sure you'll understand. 84 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,680 Even if your personals are linked 85 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,480 to a possible murder case? 86 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,520 Keep talking. 87 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,520 It's strictly on the QT, 88 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,760 but there was a woman found dead with a jigsaw puzzle, 89 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,440 and her face full of cold cream. 90 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,360 And you're suspicious because? 91 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:27,880 A hunch. 92 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,600 Do I get an exclusive? 93 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,320 Once I know what we're dealing with, 94 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,760 and it's safe to go public. 95 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,960 Is that a yes? 96 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,360 It's not a no. 97 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,440 All right, follow me. 98 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,480 Sympson-Smythe, Sympson-Smythe... 99 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,280 Ah, cheers. 100 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,800 Colin, you're a diamond. 101 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,200 Busty divorcee, fifties, 102 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,080 seeks energetic male any age 103 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,640 to share dinner, wine, et cetera. 104 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,320 Box 19. Hands-off. 105 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,960 Fair to say, 106 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,000 Hilary was one of our more enthusiastic customers. 107 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,960 Oh, let's hope it wasn't the "et cetera" 108 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,120 that finished her off. 109 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,760 So, talk me through the system? 110 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,320 Someone places an ad, 111 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,520 for example, "lonely lady seeks tall, handsome stranger," 112 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,440 Or, "frustrated bachelor seeks assertive, 113 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,880 "successful woman." 114 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,240 They're assigned a box number, 115 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,360 all correspondence is checked and forwarded every Thursday. 116 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,760 How soon can you get the names and addresses of these men? 117 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,880 He described him as smart, 118 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,880 upright, gray-haired and smoking a pipe. 119 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,280 Mr. Arnold left the honeysuckle cottage, 120 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,000 saw him when he went out to retrieve a pigeon. 121 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:35,840 A what? 122 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,680 A pigeon. 123 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,000 Nevermind. 124 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,400 You and Peggy need to start eliminating. 125 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,120 There's 34 names on that list. 126 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,280 Right, I shall begin. 127 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,960 As I suspected. 128 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,480 diethyl barbituric acid -- 129 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:51,800 please don't touch. 130 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,880 Diethyl barbituric acid. 131 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,360 Barbital in powder form, 132 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,920 brand name bentanol, prescribed for insomnia. 133 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,640 Progress! Good man. 134 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,720 Oh, and if there was any doubt 135 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,480 about whether her death was suspicious, 136 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,520 you know, Simpson-Smythe had enough in her system 137 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,240 to fell a giraffe, so... 138 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,120 Hmm. 139 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,400 Right. 140 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,480 You've sent me on that snowball, sister. 141 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,600 I've earned myself one too if you're buying. 142 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,800 Evening, sister. 143 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,120 Hello Ruth! 144 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,640 I thought you always bought your own. 145 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,800 Well sometimes a girl likes to leave 146 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,120 her principles at the door, Sam, 147 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:22,960 you know that. 148 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,640 I'll do the honours, what'll it be? 149 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,640 The usual, thanks. 150 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,160 I knew there was something about your mystery 151 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,960 that rang a bell. 152 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,720 Alice Croft died at home on May the ninth, 153 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,240 supposedly of natural causes. 154 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,880 Oh, yes, Mrs. Croft, 155 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,400 a local counsellor if memory serves. 156 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,120 I interviewed her daughter for the obit. 157 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,720 She said how tragic it was 158 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,600 that mother didn't get to finish her new jigsaw puzzle, 159 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,960 the "Madonna of the Yarnwinder." 160 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,600 Apparently the family took great comfort 161 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,840 from the fact the Holy Mother was somehow with her 162 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,440 when she passed. 163 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,440 Interesting, but it's not necessarily a link. 164 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,080 Agreed, which is why I called 165 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,920 and asked a couple more questions. 166 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,720 It seems Alice Croft was wearing cold cream 167 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,040 when she was discovered. 168 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,320 Oh gosh. I don't suppose she was... 169 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,320 A lonely heart? 170 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,280 "Buxom from Bath. 171 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,240 "Attractive mature widow, fit 50s, 172 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,560 "seeks energetic male for frisky fun. 173 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,880 "Box 22." 174 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,880 Sam, you need to let me go to press. 175 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:20,760 Not yet. 176 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:21,560 Why the hell not? 177 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,080 Sorry, sister. 178 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:23,920 No, no, that's quite all right. 179 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,240 Pretend I'm not here. 180 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,040 Going public will cause mass hysteria 181 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,960 and scare the killer back into the woodwork. 182 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,640 Then let's hope for your sake he doesn't strike again. 183 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,760 I wouldn't want that on my conscience. 184 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,600 Strictly entre nous, 185 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,280 one gets tired being of in the same position, 186 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,720 week in, week out. 187 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,200 I have you to thank 188 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,720 for opening my eyes to new possibilities. 189 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,440 The pleasure was all mine, Mrs. Clark. 190 00:09:58,360 --> 00:09:59,800 Morning. 191 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,680 I'll, um, freshen the teapot. 192 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,640 Thought I would send WPC Button out 193 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,800 to check the sale of jigsaw puzzles in the area. 194 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:08,960 Right, good. 195 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,120 Anything else you want to tell me about? 196 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,000 Presuming Cyril isn't listening in from beyond on the grave? 197 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,080 There you are. 198 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,720 Sergeant Livingston needs his strength building up. 199 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,040 I'm not sure I want to know what for. 200 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,000 You are honestly not insinuating. 201 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,680 What? 202 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,720 I have joined Mrs. Clam 203 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,200 and the bell ringers of St. Michael's Church. 204 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,320 Ah, praise be. 205 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,840 Why didn't you tell me? 206 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,480 And have you make a mockery of me? 207 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:46,320 Would I? 208 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,040 No, I think it's great. 209 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,520 So if I joined the bell ringers would I get sausages too? 210 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,160 Have mine, 211 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,120 the British banger's a taste I've yet to acquire. 212 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:56,920 Ah. 213 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,120 Watch out. 214 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,480 Now Mrs. C knows you're a joiner-iner, 215 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,440 she'll be trying to join you up to the GSADS. 216 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,040 The G-what? 217 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,560 The Great Slaughter Amateur Dramatics Society. 218 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,520 Sorry, line? 219 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,400 Wait, got it. 220 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,880 It's true, you love me with every step of the waltz. 221 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,560 "The merry widow was last here," Dottie. 222 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,680 Let's take five to revisit the script, shall we? 223 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,680 And try to not just say the lines, 224 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,240 but feel them in our core. 225 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,320 Rodolfo. 226 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,280 My core feels there's some impropriety going on. 227 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,880 Honestly, I didn't see it won't come 228 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,920 to a bit of Gilbert and Sullivan or Noel Coward, 229 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,760 if one insists on being modern. 230 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,000 Hello, new blood. 231 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,720 Certainly not. 232 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,520 We're looking for Colin, if he's around. 233 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,440 I know exactly where he is. 234 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,840 He's either in the lav, 235 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,600 or adjusting the lights, 236 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,520 or, sorry who are you looking for? 237 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,680 Morning officers. 238 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,200 Everything all right? 239 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,280 Just a quick word, please. 240 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,320 Of course. 241 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,680 Don't keep him too long. 242 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,120 Chaos descends if Dottie doesn't have a prompt. 243 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,240 Again, from page 66 please, she says! 244 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,640 Sorry to interrupt whatever this is. 245 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,280 Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment. 246 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,640 Mother's quite ambitious, 247 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,760 the cast have being great sports about it so far, 248 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,400 although she hasn't told them about the unitards yet. 249 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,800 We just wanted to check something with you. 250 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,920 Confounding white residue, 251 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,600 from the coffee table. 252 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,280 Subjected it to every test in Christendom, 253 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,640 yet it stubbornly refuses 254 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,040 to be any familiar chemical compound. 255 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,480 This test is my last hurrah. 256 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,040 Fingers crossed. 257 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,360 Oh, that is unexpected. 258 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,680 What am I seeing? 259 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:32,880 Plain as a pike staff. 260 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,320 Polyhedral granules. 261 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,880 Central hylamide fivery cleft. 262 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:38,640 Corn flour. 263 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,680 Of course, what was I thinking? 264 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,880 So why is it scattered all over our crime scene? 265 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,960 Thickening the plot, perhaps. 266 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,440 Any insights into the world of lonely hearts? 267 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,080 Well, thanks to Colin, 268 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,600 we now know Alice and Hilary both dated two of the same men. 269 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,680 Yes, box 22, 270 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:05,600 Major Roger Travis, AKA the Major Heart Sing. 271 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,160 And Box 30, 272 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,360 retired chemist, 273 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,480 Professor... 274 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,120 Claude. 275 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,800 Claude Several, AKA Bunsen Burner. 276 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,680 Ouch. A man after my own heart. 277 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,560 Interest purely professional of course. 278 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,080 Good old Colin. 279 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,000 Yeah. Good old Colin. 280 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,560 Ah, the pensive pause. 281 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,840 Something a bit obsessive about him, don't you think? 282 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,800 The pocket squares and the persnickety systems. 283 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,560 Does really depend on one's own benchmark 284 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,840 in regards to efficiency, 285 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:44,760 and grooming. 286 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,880 I suppose he does have a connection to both women. 287 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:50,880 Exactly. 288 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,320 Time to make some house calls. 289 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,800 I only met each lady the once, 290 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,520 and they were but two of many. 291 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,960 So you consider women interchangeable. 292 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,040 Is that it, professor? 293 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,560 Actually I'm a sufferer of prosopagnosia, 294 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,200 a condition that renders one... 295 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,000 Unable to recognise faces, 296 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,760 even one's own. 297 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,480 Very good Sergeant. 298 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,800 So I differentiate women by smell. 299 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,200 Smell? 300 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,720 I can detect different blood types, in fact. 301 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,440 Hilary was B positive, 302 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,840 quite a rare one, that. 303 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,320 O-negative. 304 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,720 We think the perpetrator 305 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,520 may have had pharmacological knowledge. 306 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,440 If you're suggesting I use my expertise to drug women, 307 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,000 I'll assure you I've no need of chemical intervention 308 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,400 of any kind. 309 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,000 Where were you the night before last, professor? 310 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,240 A partial eclipse if I'm not mistaken. 311 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,600 Are you given to lunar distractions, inspector? 312 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,000 No. 313 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,720 And yet even rational men such as ourselves 314 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:03,840 can't help but feel the eternal tango of the cosmos. 315 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,520 Where were you the night of June 13th, professor? 316 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,960 I was at a fundraising dinner for cripples in Mombasa. 317 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,440 I'm a passionate and vigorous campaigner. 318 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,720 And you can prove that? 319 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,040 My passion and vigour? 320 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,280 No, your whereabouts, professor. 321 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,320 No. 322 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,320 But I've every confidence that you can. 323 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,360 You sure he'll be here? 324 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,680 Half a pint of stout at 5:45. 325 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,960 Word is you can set your watch by Major Travis. 326 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,280 Major Travis? 327 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,160 Yes? 328 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,640 Sorry to bother you. 329 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,720 We're investigating an incident the night before last. 330 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,680 Must be serious if you're inconveniencing 331 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,400 law-abiding citizens on a Saturday. 332 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,400 Indeed. 333 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,000 Just a couple of questions, 334 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,760 and we'll let you get back to your racing pages. 335 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,040 Fire away then, Detective Inspector Gillespie. 336 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,760 Where were you the evening of June 13th? 337 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,440 I was here until 6:30 sharp. 338 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,680 Then I walked home. 339 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:23,960 Straight home? 340 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,840 Any stops, deviations? 341 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,440 I may have taken the scenic route via the lake. 342 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,240 Did you see or speak to anyone that could verify that? 343 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,120 No. 344 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,400 My shrapnel injury was causing discomfort, 345 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,080 so I turned in early. 346 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,120 And yet you may have taken the scenic route as a detour. 347 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,160 I don't recall. 348 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,840 That's the trouble with war wounds. 349 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,640 They tend to manifest without warning 350 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,640 at inconvenient moments. 351 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,840 Well, excuse the inconvenience, Major. 352 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,560 We'll be in touch if there's anything further. 353 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,720 Obviously I would take on a male role, 354 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,280 but the beard glue brings me out in a rash. 355 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,880 Oh, that was the front gate. 356 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,880 Mrs. Clam, got to go. 357 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,440 See you and Dottie for the readthrough in the morning. 358 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,320 Commonly Wallflower 52, 359 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,640 hoping to bloom. 360 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,440 Better late than never. 361 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,760 Are you my sunshine? 362 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,560 Will respond to all. 363 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,480 Box 31. 364 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,520 Morning! 365 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,560 Queen of the kitchen as promised. 366 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,360 Don't tell the vicar it's my new Bible. 367 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,000 Once you've served kir in a wine glass, 368 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,160 there's no going back. 369 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,840 Oh, I love a Buff Orpington. 370 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,400 Morning, thespians. 371 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,480 Right, I've color-coded everyone's part. 372 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,560 I'm green. 373 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,560 Dottie, you're pink. 374 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,640 Lois, you're blue. 375 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,040 Lois? 376 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:12,920 You're blue. 377 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,480 I'm pink! 378 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:15,360 Blue. 379 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,000 Oh dear, Lois, you're... 380 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,440 What kind of miscreant could do such a thing? 381 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,080 You've had a terrible shock. 382 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,480 I'll take you in for a cup of tea, Mrs. Clam. 383 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:40,840 Or something stronger. 384 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,520 Any thoughts to the time of death, sister? 385 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,480 Well, I'd estimate between eight and 11 in the PM. 386 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,400 No one could have seen this coming. 387 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,000 And yet the same M.O. 388 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,240 The cold cream, the corn flour, the missing jigsaw piece. 389 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:01,920 Why? 390 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,160 Well, my guess is the cold cream 391 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,360 is to render the victim faceless, anonymous, 392 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:12,160 unable to judge his actions. 393 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,960 Certainly a troubled psyche at work. 394 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,200 To hell with his psyche. 395 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,240 He's a sick opportunist using the lonely hearts 396 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,120 to prey on unsuspecting victims. 397 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,880 Yes, but we still need to understand the motivation. 398 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,560 It's not sexual, 399 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,520 but he obviously likes to spend time with his victims. 400 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,680 I don't need to understand him. 401 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,080 I just need to catch him. 402 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,400 I need some air. 403 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,480 Sister? 404 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:50,720 Yes. 405 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,440 Sister. 406 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,280 Look. 407 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,760 I'd say someone took off their muddy shoes 408 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,000 before entering the house. 409 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,640 Must have dropped out of the tread. 410 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,880 A stout walking shoe, I'd wager. 411 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,000 How do we know it belonged to the murderer? 412 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,720 Well, given that it rained yesterday evening 413 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,000 for the first time in weeks, 414 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,360 and that Lois isn't the kind of housekeeper 415 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,520 to allow any speck to go un-scrubbed, 416 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,640 I'd say extremely sure. 417 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,120 What is that? Some type of grass? 418 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,320 Barley, by the looks. 419 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,200 It won't tell us who our killer is, 420 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,400 but it will certainly tell us where he's been. 421 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,640 He was lying, Professor Several. 422 00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,560 Bunsen burner? 423 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,760 That charity event? 424 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,000 Two eye-witnesses saw him leave 425 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,040 straight after the canapes. 426 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,320 And the night that Alice died? 427 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,240 Claims he was at some silent retreat 428 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,800 in Lord Pasternak's folly, alone, 429 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,760 hardly watertight. 430 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,320 I think we should pay the professor a visit. 431 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,720 Sure I can't tempt you to a Bloody Mary? 432 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,640 Or a Virgin if you prefer? 433 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,600 Thank you, no. 434 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,560 Where were you last night, Professor? 435 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,920 Tucked up in bed with Odette and Pamela, 436 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,320 my cats, 437 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,920 reciting Plutarch together. 438 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,680 Siamese are very vocal you know. 439 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,680 This fundraiser on June 13th, 440 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,000 you were seen leaving early. 441 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,040 Ah. 442 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,920 It's time for some un-embroidered facts, Professor. 443 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,280 It's true. 444 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,160 I'm dishonest. 445 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,520 And weak, a slave to temptation. 446 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,200 I was not alone. 447 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,760 The charity treasurer and I went to the little Grange Hotel. 448 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,560 Why did you lie? 449 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,320 Because the lady in question is a local magistrate. 450 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,600 Wouldn't do for her reputation to be sullied. 451 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,480 Three women have been killed, Professor. 452 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,160 Your lady friend's reputation is the least of my worries. 453 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,280 It's true. 454 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,840 The receptionist signed him in 455 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,760 and checked him out the next morning, 456 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,560 and delivered at various intervals, 457 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,560 a bottle of absinthe, two hair nets, 458 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,720 and a plate of Welsh rarebit. 459 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,200 No accounting for taste. 460 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,600 Indeed not. 461 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,640 As for Colin, he left our rehearsal at 6:45, 462 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,400 took the train to Bonnington, 463 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,200 and alighted at Little Sockford, 464 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,320 for a harpsichord recital. 465 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,600 Anyone see him? 466 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,000 The conductor clipped his ticket. 467 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,320 He returned home at 2200 hours, 468 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,200 bidding goodnight to the scoutmaster 469 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,400 before heading up the front path. 470 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,440 And I bet he could tell us the colour 471 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,520 of the scoutmaster's shoelaces. 472 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:52,560 I dare say. 473 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,040 Which leaves the Major. 474 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,760 Any progress on that footprint? 475 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,920 Matter of fact, yes. 476 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,160 So the large structures are tree seeds, 477 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,760 some sort of conifer. 478 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,200 Combined with the barley fragments and fungal spores, 479 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,080 we're looking at a specific time and place, 480 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,680 a pedological photograph if you will. 481 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,560 A photograph of what? 482 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,480 We'd have to sample mud from barley fields in the area. 483 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,720 But if we can locate the same profile, 484 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,240 We'll know who the killer is. 485 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,160 Let's go and see if the Major's got any mud on his shoes. 486 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,440 "Honest, loyal, ex-army gentlemen of means 487 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,760 "seeks warmhearted lady for companionship and home fires." 488 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:42,280 A lady like Alice Croft or Hilary Sympson-Smythe, 489 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,520 or Lois Mason. 490 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,840 For the umpteenth time, I've never met these women. 491 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,000 Mud was found in Lois Mason's porch. 492 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,400 The remnants perfectly match the tread of your shoes. 493 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,880 As they no doubt would 494 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,640 the shoes of everyone else 495 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,000 who owns the same ubiquitous brand. 496 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,680 Awfully clean, aren't they? 497 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,360 Given that you live in a rural area. 498 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,080 Well, you can take the man out of the army. 499 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,440 Seems you've discovered my footwear 500 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,160 is as clean as my conscience, 501 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,840 so you're clutching at straws, inspector. 502 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,160 You've visited Gravestocks News Agents 503 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,560 two days before Hilary was murdered. 504 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,240 What did you buy? 505 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,440 I believe it was a jigsaw puzzle. 506 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,760 A jigsaw of what? 507 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:34,720 No idea. 508 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,560 One with a picture on it. 509 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,680 Who for? 510 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,200 My Aunt Edith. 511 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:42,880 And if you'd done your job, 512 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,200 you would have found out that I also bought a birthday card 513 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,880 and some parcel string in order to post it to her 514 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:53,120 for her birthday, as I do every year. 515 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,960 What's with the jigsaw puzzle fixation, Major? 516 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,040 Come now, Inspector. 517 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:01,640 Once a lady's fertile and attractive years are behind her, 518 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,000 what else is there for her to do? 519 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,000 Now, unless you have some actual evidence, 520 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,040 Inspector Gillespie, 521 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:12,760 I should take myself home for supper. 522 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,280 Good day. 523 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,800 I had to just watch him walk out. 524 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:24,880 It's unconscionable, I know, 525 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,040 but we simply have no proof. 526 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,120 Apologies. Mrs. Clam, we've lost our appetite somewhat. 527 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,440 No, I must apologise. 528 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,800 I seem to be ruining breakfast, lunch and dinner ever since. 529 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:38,640 Don't worry. Mrs. C. 530 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,200 No one's noticed. 531 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,160 Awful to think that Lois opened her heart to that man, 532 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,800 only to fall into his terrible trap. 533 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,760 Wait, that's it. 534 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,280 A trap. 535 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,560 We send the Major an invitation from a fake admirer. 536 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:54,880 We wait for them to crack out the bentanol 537 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,440 and then we catch him in the act. 538 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,720 With respect, 539 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,160 not only are those ethics somewhat dubious. 540 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,840 Sod the ethics! 541 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:02,840 But what woman in her right mind would submit herself 542 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,120 to such a dangerous endeavour? 543 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,800 I shall do it. 544 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,320 Mrs. Clam, no. 545 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,080 Nonsense, I insist! 546 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,560 If I can prevent another lone woman from being murdered, 547 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,960 then... 548 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,240 That is absolutely courageous of you, 549 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,040 but it would be risky and dangerous. 550 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:18,760 You're on. 551 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,360 Good, I shall see to the custard. 552 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,080 She's perfect. 553 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,120 Are the Great Slaughter Police really so under-resourced 554 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,640 that we would use a civilian in a hunt-trap operation? 555 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,360 You said "we". 556 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,360 What? 557 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,240 Seems you're one of us now. 558 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,280 So what do we think? 559 00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,480 There must be something here between milkmaid 560 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,200 and Moulin Rouge. 561 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,320 Jolly well hope so. 562 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,160 Right. 563 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,680 Let's cook the Major up an invitation he can't refuse. 564 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,240 So how would you describe yourself, Vera? 565 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,920 Tidy, churchgoing, spinster. 566 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,400 Put trim, ballroom dancing, bon viveur. 567 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,000 Very good. 568 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,720 The voice of an expert. 569 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,160 Don't forget he has a type. 570 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,960 Put curvaceous and homely, 571 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,560 likes hugging and baking. 572 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:19,480 Dreadful! 573 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:20,840 Perfect. 574 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,120 I had my suspicions about that Major. 575 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,760 Do you know, he gets more letters 576 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,400 than any other lonely heart, 577 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,240 even "Stronger with Livestock" and "Tap Dancing Romeo." 578 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,560 Focus, Colin. 579 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,520 That marcel isn't going to wave itself. 580 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,520 Sorry, mother. 581 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:37,440 Ready when you are. 582 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,800 I think this'll work. 583 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,040 What's your worry? 584 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,760 Well just that a honey trap requires... 585 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,320 Well you you know... 586 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:46,200 honey. 587 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:51,440 Ready? 588 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,640 Hells bells, Mrs. C. 589 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,880 Where have you been hiding that figure? 590 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,280 I'll thank you to rein in the profanity Ms. Penny. 591 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:08,120 Roger that. 592 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,960 Tempted to say that what you've both achieved 593 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,800 leaves the loaves and the fishes somewhat in the shade. 594 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,920 We make a great team, don't we Colin? 595 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:18,840 The best. 596 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,520 Dear Major Heart Sing, 597 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,720 That's it, Mrs. C. Really work it. 598 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,840 I noticed your advertisement. 599 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,200 Blow us a kiss. 600 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,800 I wish to invite you for supper. 601 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,280 Though somewhat beyond the first flush of youth, 602 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,320 I'm told I still have a certain twinkle in my eye. 603 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,720 Dear Vera, 604 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,120 I hope you won't think me forward 605 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,960 in calling you by your Christian name. 606 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,240 So enchanted was I by your letter, 607 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,240 that I feel we are already friends. 608 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,520 Needless to say, 609 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,760 I should be delighted to accept your invitation. 610 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,600 Bear in mind that barbital has no antidote. 611 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,280 Lethal dose is a mere 55 grains. 612 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,280 Do not drink the sherry. 613 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,280 Because otherwise we will have to do the dubious honour 614 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:13,280 of gastric lavage. 615 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,960 How about a role-play? 616 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,080 Shall we, role-play? 617 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,920 So I'll be Major. 618 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,080 Imagine that the date is going swimmingly, 619 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,480 and I'm about to strike. 620 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,560 Oh. 621 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,640 uh, splendid vol-au-vents, Vera. 622 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,640 Do have another, Major. 623 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,480 Oh. Don't mind if I do. 624 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:43,840 Mm... 625 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,040 Time for a top-up, wouldn't you say? 626 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,680 Now you'll need a reason to excuse yourself for a moment. 627 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,680 I think I need a lie down. 628 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,280 Well, don't come on too strong. 629 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,240 No, I think I really do need a lie down. 630 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,120 Might I suggest that if things get too much, 631 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,840 Mrs. Clam could utter a safe word? 632 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,920 And then we will intervene. 633 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,400 Yes. Good idea. 634 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,040 I like the word somnambulant or owl. 635 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,400 A word that is germane to the scenario. 636 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,960 Well, can't I just say help? 637 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,480 Macaroni. The safe word is macaroni. 638 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:19,760 Macaroni? 639 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:21,520 Macaroni. 640 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,960 Oh! 641 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,320 Courage, Vera. 642 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:27,320 That was just Peggy. 643 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,520 We have some digging to do. 644 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:30,240 Godspeed, all! 645 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,320 Macaroni, macaroni. 646 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,560 Chin up, poor thing. 647 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,160 Only nine more to go. 648 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,160 Nine fields and only one of you sister. 649 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,400 Yes, I do sometimes think an extra one or two would help. 650 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,560 One of me could do the carrying. 651 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,520 Another could do the map reading. 652 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,320 I can do the measuring. 653 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,920 I should be in charge of digging. 654 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,080 I'll gather samples. 655 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,880 Oh, put me down for tea and tiffin. 656 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,360 You all right, sister? 657 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:20,160 Yes. I suppose it has been a long day. 658 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,480 Perhaps it's time for a slice of Battenberg. 659 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:23,760 Oh, now you're talking. 660 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,720 Vera! 661 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:41,600 Major. 662 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,360 You're even prettier in person. 663 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,600 Oh, nonsense. 664 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:54,880 May I? 665 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,680 Oh... yes. 666 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,160 Do come in. 667 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,160 Of course they prefer to be shown no mercy. 668 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,080 I cut their heads off, 669 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,720 bury them in my cellar, 670 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,480 then dig them up when the time is right. 671 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,360 What? 672 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,880 The tubers, the dahlias. 673 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,000 I grew them myself. 674 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,080 Something of a hobby. 675 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,400 Tell me about your interests. 676 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,640 I imagine your Foxtrot is quite something, 677 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:33,920 from the looks of you. 678 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,760 My Foxtrot is strictly off limits! 679 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,480 Sciatica. 680 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,280 Ah, my sympathy. 681 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:45,480 I fear my dancing days are also behind me, 682 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:50,320 but still plenty of lead in my pencil so to speak. 683 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,200 I shall just pop on some Mantovani 684 00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,920 and then go and warm the oven. 685 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,160 That one's number 17. 686 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,640 Yes, some intriguing nematodes, 687 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,160 but not what we're looking for. 688 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,080 Okay, next? 689 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:18,920 Number nine. 690 00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:21,640 Like a very boring game of bingo. 691 00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:22,480 Yes. 692 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:33,880 Oh! 693 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,280 Bingo, Peggy my girl! 694 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:36,240 Number nine? 695 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,400 Erm, that's Crooked Mile Field. 696 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,320 So it is, yes. 697 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,000 Oh my. 698 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:52,880 Didn't leave your Wellies in the rain again, 699 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:53,920 did you sister? 700 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,480 No, Peggy. 701 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,680 I fear a far greater oversight has occurred. 702 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,360 Aren't we supposed to go in? 703 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,080 We need to let it play out 704 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:14,800 Abort! 705 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:15,600 Abort! 706 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:16,680 Really? 707 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,960 Abort! 708 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:19,040 Abort, abort! 709 00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:21,600 We are in the middle of... 710 00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,840 The killer isn't Major Travis! 711 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:24,880 What? 712 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,160 Well, rather it is Major Travis, 713 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,440 just not that one. 714 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,920 Oh gosh, you weren't wrong. 715 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,440 You certainly are nimble. 716 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,840 Macaroni. 717 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,160 Macaroni! 718 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:38,440 I think dinner can wait, don't you? 719 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,040 You may consider me easy pickings, Major, 720 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,520 but you will not indulge your hideous perversions 721 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:47,840 in my parlour! 722 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,400 Excuse me? 723 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,120 Yes. I belong to a generation of unwed women 724 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,880 who've been put out to grass, 725 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,640 but we shall not be silenced, 726 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,840 and we shall certainly not be murdered! 727 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,320 Mrs. Clam! 728 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,480 Yes, let's find you a towel. 729 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,040 So this is the field that the mud's on? 730 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,720 Crooked Mile Field. 731 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,200 A the railway line cuts right through the middle. 732 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,280 So he makes sure that the conductor stamps his ticket, 733 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,360 and then he gets off the train a stop early. 734 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,000 And then headed back to Lois's, across country. 735 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,080 But I simply can't see how Colin 736 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,080 has been passing himself off as Major Travis. 737 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,680 Not to mention he's 20 years too young. 738 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:35,560 Colin? 739 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,160 You mean hair and makeup Colin? 740 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:44,560 The architect of my lonely hearts persona? 741 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,160 Let's make some tea, shall we? 742 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:48,360 Tea... 743 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,400 Oh, of course. 744 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,960 The cornflour, to whiten the hair! 745 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,440 Yes! 746 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,440 I say, Colin's been studying the Major for some time. 747 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,720 Learning his mannerisms and whatnot. 748 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,320 Quite the performance. 749 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,600 A tragedy at that. 750 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,400 Time for his curtain call. 751 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:11,640 Oh! 752 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:22,960 Yes? 753 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,400 Well, he's not at his desk. 754 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:27,800 Fine, give me a sec. 755 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:30,320 Proofs. 756 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,960 Proofs. 757 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:45,560 Fight over, 758 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,360 I just spoke to Peggy. Safe and sound. 759 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:48,320 Splendid. 760 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,560 Everything all right? 761 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:51,800 Never better! 762 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:07,880 You have to catch me first! 763 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,440 Oh, get lost, Colin! 764 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,840 It's not even nine o'clock. 765 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,160 Mrs. Sweet, it's Inspector Gillespie. 766 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,640 Is Colin not at home? 767 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,960 No, I told him... 768 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,760 Asked him to stay out. 769 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,480 One-to-one rehearsal. 770 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,160 It's a very challenging scene. 771 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:38,040 Do you have any idea where Colin is? 772 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:38,920 No. 773 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,360 Looking for these? 774 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,240 I believe you have something of mine. 775 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,880 Perhaps we could do an exchange. 776 00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,560 And what if I say no? 777 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,720 Are you going to do to me what you did to those other women? 778 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,120 Heaven's no. 779 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,600 You're not at all the Major's type. 780 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,720 You're nothing but a coward! 781 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,280 Colin, please! 782 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:25,480 Ruth! 783 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:30,160 Show's over, Colin. 784 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:34,440 Take him away. 785 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,320 You are not obliged to say anything 786 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,400 unless you wish to do so, 787 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:39,640 but what you say may.... 788 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:41,120 Slow gentle breaths, soldier. 789 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:43,280 Ruth. 790 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,320 I'm fine. 791 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,720 Nothing worse than a broken fingernail. 792 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,560 I'm so sorry I let that happen to you. 793 00:39:55,880 --> 00:40:00,680 So, Rodolfo came on the scene and you were jealous, angry. 794 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,880 You felt replaced, betrayed. 795 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,600 He hasn't even learned his lines. 796 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,800 Where'd you get the bentanol from? 797 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,480 Mother had a stash. 798 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,440 I remember watching her take it at bedtime, 799 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,560 always the same teacup. 800 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:20,520 The Lily sent of the cold cream, the bliss on her face. 801 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,880 She drifted into oblivion. 802 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,160 So the cold cream 803 00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:25,880 wasn't about making your victims anonymous. 804 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,320 It was about turning them to Ida, 805 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,520 a version of Ida that you could control. 806 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,360 Like she controlled you. 807 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,240 Mother never forgave me. 808 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,200 For what? 809 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,480 She had ambitions, 810 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,120 Shaftesbury Avenue, Broadway. 811 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,280 But father ran off and she had to ditch it all 812 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,000 to look after me. 813 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,360 Times were tough. 814 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,360 She was good at spotting talent, 815 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,320 and my talent was jigsaw puzzles. 816 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,680 She started drinking heavily. 817 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,320 Prize money was a lifeline. 818 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:59,280 Second place means you lost. 819 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,400 Let's not let nerves get the better of us again, shall we? 820 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,000 It's a sad story. 821 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,840 But people have worse mothers than yours. 822 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,160 You don't see them plying women with barbiturates 823 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:50,680 and watching them die. 824 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,160 You know, I've never hurt mother. 825 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,280 I love her, despite how she's been carrying on. 826 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,720 Honestly, it's unseemly. 827 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:00,920 Unseemly? 828 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,240 Three women are dead. 829 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:04,240 Oh dear. 830 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,760 You're hurting. 831 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,320 You feel you failed. 832 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:13,800 We've so much in common. 833 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,120 No, we're done. 834 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:17,680 And you're in jail, 835 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,080 hopefully for the rest of your life. 836 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,800 I don't fear incarceration. 837 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,400 After all, a lock is just another puzzle. 838 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:30,920 Put the pieces in the correct order 839 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,960 and it's open sesame. 840 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,160 Ready? 841 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,960 Not bad news I hope? 842 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,720 It's from the Major. 843 00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,240 Oh dear. 844 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,440 Dry cleaning bill? 845 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,000 May I? 846 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,440 Dear Vera, 847 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,640 so taken was I by your pluck and fortitude, 848 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:13,200 not to mention your delightful hors d'oeuvres, 849 00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:14,880 that I would wish to see... 850 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:19,160 See you again. 851 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,080 There's only one mom that I want to see again. 852 00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:28,960 Today would have been Cyril's 70th birthday. 853 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,920 I expected to be surrounded by children 854 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,600 and grandchildren by now. 855 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,240 He was a brave man. 856 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,240 The bravest. 857 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:42,400 And the best. 858 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,520 He would've been proud of you. 859 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:50,480 Come along! 860 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,520 Those bells aren't going to ring themselves. 59171

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