Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,760
Busty divorcee, fifties,
2
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,360
seeks energetic male, any age,
3
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,000
to share dinner, wine, and et cetera.
4
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,120
Box 19.
5
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,120
Shot it myself this morning.
6
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,400
No time for hanging.
7
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,320
Mid-season hens,
8
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,920
best eaten as soon as they
come out of rigour mortis,
9
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,840
Don't you agree?
10
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:50,640
Wait there.
11
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,240
I'll go and scare up some gravy.
12
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,600
A few lumps.
13
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,920
The odd giblet's not
going to kill us, hey?
14
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,360
Here's mud in your eye.
15
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:30,440
Well, I do like a man
who can guess my size.
16
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:33,880
Oh!
17
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,720
Oh,
not quite what I had in mind,
18
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,440
but I'm game if you are.
19
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,000
How many corners are there
in a kitten?
20
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,520
How many mittens in a rectangle?
21
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,800
Oh, these furry little
blighters are blurring into one.
22
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,240
Oh!
23
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,560
Oh,
I might shut my eyes for a tick.
24
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,720
Morning sister.
25
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,840
Yes, good morning to you, Peggy.
26
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:30,080
Though, I doubt it's been
a good morning for our...
27
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,560
hapless milkman.
28
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:32,920
Oh, I know.
29
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,760
It's Terry's second
ol' stiff this month.
30
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:35,640
Poor Terry.
31
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,800
Let's see if the
unfortunate deceased
32
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,040
has her own tale to tell.
33
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,120
Hilary Sympson-Smythe, age 58.
34
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,680
Likely cause of death,
coronary heart disease.
35
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,800
The jigsaw puzzle is
"You Shall Have No Pie,"
36
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,160
based on a nursery rhyme
37
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,320
in which three kittens
lose their mittens.
38
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,520
Yeah, I'm familiar with
the Mother Goose canon.
39
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,880
Hardly thrilling enough
to prompt a heart attack.
40
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,200
Just me, or is there something
wrong with this picture?
41
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,520
Well, the picture and the puzzle.
42
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,520
Meaning?
43
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,360
Piece missing, bottom left.
44
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,640
Question is,
45
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,600
why would anyone attempt
to 200-piece puzzle
46
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,120
with a face covered in cold cream?
47
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,800
Why indeed?
48
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,440
The greasy pieces are a
puzzler's worst nightmare.
49
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,200
All right, maybe not the worst,
50
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:31,200
but definitely top five.
51
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,280
Would you mind taking
Peggy house-to-house?
52
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,480
See if anyone heard or
saw anything last night?
53
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,360
Sir.
54
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,080
Lily scent, lanolin base notes.
55
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,480
How long would it take
to do 200-piece puzzle?
56
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,000
Ah, well that can be expressed
57
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,160
as N multiplied by N,
58
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,640
so a 200-piece puzzle
59
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,160
is four times as
difficult as a 100-piece,
60
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,560
while a 500 is 25 times
harder than a 100-piece,
61
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,600
the reason being that one
must compare each jigsaw piece
62
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,120
to N other pieces.
63
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,480
Quite a while.
64
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,360
Yeah, unless she had help.
65
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,600
And given that
she's gone all out
66
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,960
on the frock, lipstick and pearls,
67
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,160
I bet that help was
a gentleman caller.
68
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,200
Whoever was here was
certainly careful to tidy up.
69
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,400
Oh I'll say.
70
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,400
Not a print insight.
71
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,760
Powdery residue on the
coffee table though.
72
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,240
And some on the sofa too.
73
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,560
Tucked behind the bread bin.
74
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,440
Ah.
75
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,920
Someone should head
down to the Bugle.
76
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,840
And I suppose that
someone ought to be you.
77
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,040
I need to talk to you
about your lonely hearts.
78
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,760
Perfect timing.
79
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,680
You can take advantage of
our one-month free offer.
80
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,160
For an investigation.
81
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,720
Obviously I'd like to help,
82
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,080
but the persons behind our
personals are confidential, Sam,
83
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,400
I'm sure you'll understand.
84
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,680
Even if your
personals are linked
85
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,480
to a possible murder case?
86
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,520
Keep talking.
87
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,520
It's strictly on the QT,
88
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,760
but there was a woman found
dead with a jigsaw puzzle,
89
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,440
and her face full of cold cream.
90
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,360
And you're suspicious because?
91
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:27,880
A hunch.
92
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,600
Do I get an exclusive?
93
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,320
Once I know what
we're dealing with,
94
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,760
and it's safe to go public.
95
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,960
Is that a yes?
96
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,360
It's not a no.
97
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,440
All right, follow me.
98
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,480
Sympson-Smythe,
Sympson-Smythe...
99
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,280
Ah, cheers.
100
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,800
Colin, you're a diamond.
101
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,200
Busty divorcee, fifties,
102
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,080
seeks energetic male any age
103
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,640
to share dinner, wine, et cetera.
104
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,320
Box 19. Hands-off.
105
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,960
Fair to say,
106
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,000
Hilary was one of our more
enthusiastic customers.
107
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,960
Oh, let's hope it
wasn't the "et cetera"
108
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,120
that finished her off.
109
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,760
So, talk me through the system?
110
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,320
Someone places an ad,
111
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,520
for example, "lonely lady
seeks tall, handsome stranger,"
112
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,440
Or, "frustrated bachelor
seeks assertive,
113
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,880
"successful woman."
114
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,240
They're assigned a box number,
115
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,360
all correspondence is checked
and forwarded every Thursday.
116
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,760
How soon can you get the names
and addresses of these men?
117
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,880
He described him as smart,
118
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,880
upright, gray-haired
and smoking a pipe.
119
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,280
Mr. Arnold left the
honeysuckle cottage,
120
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,000
saw him when he went out
to retrieve a pigeon.
121
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:35,840
A what?
122
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,680
A pigeon.
123
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,000
Nevermind.
124
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,400
You and Peggy need
to start eliminating.
125
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,120
There's 34 names on that list.
126
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,280
Right, I shall begin.
127
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,960
As I suspected.
128
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,480
diethyl barbituric acid --
129
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:51,800
please don't touch.
130
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,880
Diethyl barbituric acid.
131
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,360
Barbital in powder form,
132
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,920
brand name bentanol,
prescribed for insomnia.
133
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,640
Progress!
Good man.
134
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,720
Oh, and if there was any doubt
135
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,480
about whether her
death was suspicious,
136
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,520
you know, Simpson-Smythe
had enough in her system
137
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,240
to fell a giraffe, so...
138
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,120
Hmm.
139
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,400
Right.
140
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,480
You've sent me on
that snowball, sister.
141
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,600
I've earned myself one
too if you're buying.
142
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,800
Evening, sister.
143
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,120
Hello Ruth!
144
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,640
I thought you always
bought your own.
145
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,800
Well sometimes a
girl likes to leave
146
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,120
her principles at the door, Sam,
147
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:22,960
you know that.
148
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,640
I'll do the honours,
what'll it be?
149
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,640
The usual, thanks.
150
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,160
I knew there was something
about your mystery
151
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,960
that rang a bell.
152
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,720
Alice Croft died at
home on May the ninth,
153
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,240
supposedly of natural causes.
154
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,880
Oh, yes, Mrs. Croft,
155
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,400
a local counsellor
if memory serves.
156
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,120
I interviewed her
daughter for the obit.
157
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,720
She said how tragic it was
158
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,600
that mother didn't get to
finish her new jigsaw puzzle,
159
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,960
the "Madonna of the Yarnwinder."
160
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,600
Apparently the family
took great comfort
161
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,840
from the fact the Holy
Mother was somehow with her
162
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,440
when she passed.
163
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,440
Interesting,
but it's not necessarily a link.
164
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,080
Agreed, which is why I called
165
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,920
and asked a couple more questions.
166
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,720
It seems Alice Croft
was wearing cold cream
167
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,040
when she was discovered.
168
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,320
Oh gosh.
I don't suppose she was...
169
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,320
A lonely heart?
170
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,280
"Buxom from Bath.
171
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,240
"Attractive mature widow, fit 50s,
172
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,560
"seeks energetic male for frisky fun.
173
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,880
"Box 22."
174
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,880
Sam,
you need to let me go to press.
175
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:20,760
Not yet.
176
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:21,560
Why the hell not?
177
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,080
Sorry, sister.
178
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:23,920
No, no, that's quite all right.
179
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,240
Pretend I'm not here.
180
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,040
Going public will
cause mass hysteria
181
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,960
and scare the killer
back into the woodwork.
182
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,640
Then let's hope for your
sake he doesn't strike again.
183
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,760
I wouldn't want that
on my conscience.
184
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,600
Strictly entre nous,
185
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,280
one gets tired being of
in the same position,
186
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,720
week in, week out.
187
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,200
I have you to thank
188
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,720
for opening my eyes
to new possibilities.
189
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,440
The pleasure was all mine,
Mrs. Clark.
190
00:09:58,360 --> 00:09:59,800
Morning.
191
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,680
I'll, um, freshen the teapot.
192
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,640
Thought I would
send WPC Button out
193
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,800
to check the sale of
jigsaw puzzles in the area.
194
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:08,960
Right, good.
195
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,120
Anything else you
want to tell me about?
196
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,000
Presuming Cyril isn't listening
in from beyond on the grave?
197
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,080
There you are.
198
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,720
Sergeant Livingston needs
his strength building up.
199
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,040
I'm not sure I want
to know what for.
200
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,000
You are honestly not insinuating.
201
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,680
What?
202
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,720
I have joined Mrs. Clam
203
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,200
and the bell ringers of
St. Michael's Church.
204
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,320
Ah, praise be.
205
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,840
Why didn't you tell me?
206
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,480
And have you make
a mockery of me?
207
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:46,320
Would I?
208
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,040
No, I think it's great.
209
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,520
So if I joined the bell ringers
would I get sausages too?
210
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,160
Have mine,
211
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,120
the British banger's a
taste I've yet to acquire.
212
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:56,920
Ah.
213
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,120
Watch out.
214
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,480
Now Mrs. C
knows you're a joiner-iner,
215
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,440
she'll be trying to join
you up to the GSADS.
216
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,040
The G-what?
217
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,560
The Great Slaughter
Amateur Dramatics Society.
218
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,520
Sorry, line?
219
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,400
Wait, got it.
220
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,880
It's true, you love me with
every step of the waltz.
221
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,560
"The merry widow was
last here," Dottie.
222
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,680
Let's take five to revisit
the script, shall we?
223
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,680
And try to not just say the lines,
224
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,240
but feel them in our core.
225
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,320
Rodolfo.
226
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,280
My core feels there's
some impropriety going on.
227
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,880
Honestly,
I didn't see it won't come
228
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,920
to a bit of Gilbert and
Sullivan or Noel Coward,
229
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,760
if one insists on being modern.
230
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,000
Hello, new blood.
231
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,720
Certainly not.
232
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,520
We're looking for
Colin, if he's around.
233
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,440
I know exactly where he is.
234
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,840
He's either in the lav,
235
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,600
or adjusting the lights,
236
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,520
or, sorry who are
you looking for?
237
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,680
Morning officers.
238
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,200
Everything all right?
239
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,280
Just a quick word, please.
240
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,320
Of course.
241
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,680
Don't keep him too long.
242
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,120
Chaos descends if Dottie
doesn't have a prompt.
243
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,240
Again, from page 66
please, she says!
244
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,640
Sorry to interrupt
whatever this is.
245
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,280
Dostoevsky,
Crime and Punishment.
246
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,640
Mother's quite ambitious,
247
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,760
the cast have being great
sports about it so far,
248
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,400
although she hasn't told
them about the unitards yet.
249
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,800
We just wanted to check
something with you.
250
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,920
Confounding white residue,
251
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,600
from the coffee table.
252
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,280
Subjected it to every
test in Christendom,
253
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,640
yet it stubbornly refuses
254
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,040
to be any familiar
chemical compound.
255
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,480
This test is my last hurrah.
256
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,040
Fingers crossed.
257
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,360
Oh, that is unexpected.
258
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,680
What am I seeing?
259
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:32,880
Plain as a pike staff.
260
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,320
Polyhedral granules.
261
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,880
Central hylamide fivery cleft.
262
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:38,640
Corn flour.
263
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,680
Of course, what was I thinking?
264
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,880
So why is it scattered
all over our crime scene?
265
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,960
Thickening the plot, perhaps.
266
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,440
Any insights into the
world of lonely hearts?
267
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,080
Well, thanks to Colin,
268
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,600
we now know Alice and Hilary
both dated two of the same men.
269
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,680
Yes, box 22,
270
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:05,600
Major Roger Travis, AKA
the Major Heart Sing.
271
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,160
And Box 30,
272
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,360
retired chemist,
273
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,480
Professor...
274
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,120
Claude.
275
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,800
Claude Several,
AKA Bunsen Burner.
276
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,680
Ouch.
A man after my own heart.
277
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,560
Interest purely
professional of course.
278
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,080
Good old Colin.
279
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,000
Yeah.
Good old Colin.
280
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,560
Ah, the pensive pause.
281
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,840
Something a bit obsessive
about him, don't you think?
282
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,800
The pocket squares and
the persnickety systems.
283
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,560
Does really depend on
one's own benchmark
284
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,840
in regards to efficiency,
285
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:44,760
and grooming.
286
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,880
I suppose he does have a
connection to both women.
287
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:50,880
Exactly.
288
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,320
Time to make some house calls.
289
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,800
I only met each lady the once,
290
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,520
and they were but two of many.
291
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,960
So you consider women
interchangeable.
292
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,040
Is that it, professor?
293
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,560
Actually I'm a sufferer
of prosopagnosia,
294
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,200
a condition that renders one...
295
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,000
Unable to recognise faces,
296
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,760
even one's own.
297
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,480
Very good Sergeant.
298
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,800
So I differentiate
women by smell.
299
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,200
Smell?
300
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,720
I can detect different
blood types, in fact.
301
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,440
Hilary was B positive,
302
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,840
quite a rare one, that.
303
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,320
O-negative.
304
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,720
We think the perpetrator
305
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,520
may have had
pharmacological knowledge.
306
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,440
If you're suggesting I use
my expertise to drug women,
307
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,000
I'll assure you I've no need
of chemical intervention
308
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,400
of any kind.
309
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,000
Where were you the night
before last, professor?
310
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,240
A partial eclipse
if I'm not mistaken.
311
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,600
Are you given to lunar
distractions, inspector?
312
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,000
No.
313
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,720
And yet even rational
men such as ourselves
314
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:03,840
can't help but feel the
eternal tango of the cosmos.
315
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,520
Where were you the night
of June 13th, professor?
316
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,960
I was at a fundraising dinner
for cripples in Mombasa.
317
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,440
I'm a passionate and
vigorous campaigner.
318
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,720
And you can prove that?
319
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,040
My passion and vigour?
320
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,280
No, your whereabouts, professor.
321
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,320
No.
322
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,320
But I've every
confidence that you can.
323
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,360
You sure he'll be here?
324
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,680
Half a pint of stout at 5:45.
325
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,960
Word is you can set your
watch by Major Travis.
326
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,280
Major Travis?
327
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,160
Yes?
328
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,640
Sorry to bother you.
329
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,720
We're investigating an
incident the night before last.
330
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,680
Must be serious if
you're inconveniencing
331
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,400
law-abiding citizens on a Saturday.
332
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,400
Indeed.
333
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,000
Just a couple of questions,
334
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,760
and we'll let you get
back to your racing pages.
335
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,040
Fire away then,
Detective Inspector Gillespie.
336
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,760
Where were you the
evening of June 13th?
337
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,440
I was here until 6:30 sharp.
338
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,680
Then I walked home.
339
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:23,960
Straight home?
340
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,840
Any stops, deviations?
341
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,440
I may have taken the
scenic route via the lake.
342
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,240
Did you see or speak to
anyone that could verify that?
343
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,120
No.
344
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,400
My shrapnel injury was
causing discomfort,
345
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,080
so I turned in early.
346
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,120
And yet you may have taken
the scenic route as a detour.
347
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,160
I don't recall.
348
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,840
That's the trouble with war wounds.
349
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,640
They tend to manifest
without warning
350
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,640
at inconvenient moments.
351
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,840
Well,
excuse the inconvenience, Major.
352
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,560
We'll be in touch if
there's anything further.
353
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,720
Obviously I would
take on a male role,
354
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,280
but the beard glue
brings me out in a rash.
355
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,880
Oh, that was the front gate.
356
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,880
Mrs. Clam, got to go.
357
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,440
See you and Dottie for the
readthrough in the morning.
358
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,320
Commonly Wallflower 52,
359
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,640
hoping to bloom.
360
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,440
Better late than never.
361
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,760
Are you my sunshine?
362
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,560
Will respond to all.
363
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,480
Box 31.
364
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,520
Morning!
365
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,560
Queen of the kitchen as promised.
366
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,360
Don't tell the vicar
it's my new Bible.
367
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,000
Once you've served
kir in a wine glass,
368
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,160
there's no going back.
369
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,840
Oh, I love a Buff Orpington.
370
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,400
Morning, thespians.
371
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,480
Right,
I've color-coded everyone's part.
372
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,560
I'm green.
373
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,560
Dottie, you're pink.
374
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:07,640
Lois, you're blue.
375
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,040
Lois?
376
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:12,920
You're blue.
377
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,480
I'm pink!
378
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:15,360
Blue.
379
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,000
Oh dear, Lois, you're...
380
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,440
What kind of miscreant
could do such a thing?
381
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,080
You've had a terrible shock.
382
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,480
I'll take you in for a
cup of tea, Mrs. Clam.
383
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:40,840
Or something stronger.
384
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,520
Any thoughts to the
time of death, sister?
385
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,480
Well, I'd estimate between
eight and 11 in the PM.
386
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,400
No one could have seen this coming.
387
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,000
And yet the same M.O.
388
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,240
The cold cream, the corn flour,
the missing jigsaw piece.
389
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:01,920
Why?
390
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,160
Well, my guess is the cold cream
391
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,360
is to render the victim
faceless, anonymous,
392
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:12,160
unable to judge his actions.
393
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,960
Certainly a troubled psyche at work.
394
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,200
To hell with his psyche.
395
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,240
He's a sick opportunist
using the lonely hearts
396
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,120
to prey on unsuspecting victims.
397
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,880
Yes, but we still need to
understand the motivation.
398
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,560
It's not sexual,
399
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,520
but he obviously likes to
spend time with his victims.
400
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,680
I don't need to understand him.
401
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,080
I just need to catch him.
402
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,400
I need some air.
403
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,480
Sister?
404
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:50,720
Yes.
405
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,440
Sister.
406
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,280
Look.
407
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,760
I'd say someone took
off their muddy shoes
408
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,000
before entering the house.
409
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,640
Must have dropped
out of the tread.
410
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,880
A stout walking shoe, I'd wager.
411
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,000
How do we know it
belonged to the murderer?
412
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,720
Well, given that it
rained yesterday evening
413
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,000
for the first time in weeks,
414
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,360
and that Lois isn't
the kind of housekeeper
415
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,520
to allow any speck
to go un-scrubbed,
416
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,640
I'd say extremely sure.
417
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,120
What is that?
Some type of grass?
418
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,320
Barley, by the looks.
419
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,200
It won't tell us who our killer is,
420
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,400
but it will certainly
tell us where he's been.
421
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,640
He was lying, Professor Several.
422
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,560
Bunsen burner?
423
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,760
That charity event?
424
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,000
Two eye-witnesses saw him leave
425
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,040
straight after the canapes.
426
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,320
And the night that Alice died?
427
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,240
Claims he was at
some silent retreat
428
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,800
in Lord Pasternak's folly, alone,
429
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,760
hardly watertight.
430
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,320
I think we should pay
the professor a visit.
431
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,720
Sure I can't tempt
you to a Bloody Mary?
432
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,640
Or a Virgin if you prefer?
433
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,600
Thank you, no.
434
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,560
Where were you last night,
Professor?
435
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,920
Tucked up in bed with
Odette and Pamela,
436
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,320
my cats,
437
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,920
reciting Plutarch together.
438
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,680
Siamese are very vocal you know.
439
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,680
This fundraiser on June 13th,
440
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,000
you were seen leaving early.
441
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,040
Ah.
442
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,920
It's time for some
un-embroidered facts, Professor.
443
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,280
It's true.
444
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,160
I'm dishonest.
445
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,520
And weak,
a slave to temptation.
446
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,200
I was not alone.
447
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,760
The charity treasurer and I
went to the little Grange Hotel.
448
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,560
Why did you lie?
449
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,320
Because the lady in question
is a local magistrate.
450
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,600
Wouldn't do for her
reputation to be sullied.
451
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,480
Three women have been
killed, Professor.
452
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,160
Your lady friend's reputation
is the least of my worries.
453
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,280
It's true.
454
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,840
The receptionist signed him in
455
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,760
and checked him out
the next morning,
456
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,560
and delivered at various intervals,
457
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,560
a bottle of absinthe, two hair nets,
458
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,720
and a plate of Welsh rarebit.
459
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,200
No accounting for taste.
460
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,600
Indeed not.
461
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,640
As for Colin,
he left our rehearsal at 6:45,
462
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,400
took the train to Bonnington,
463
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,200
and alighted at Little Sockford,
464
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,320
for a harpsichord recital.
465
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,600
Anyone see him?
466
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,000
The conductor clipped his ticket.
467
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,320
He returned home at 2200 hours,
468
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,200
bidding goodnight
to the scoutmaster
469
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,400
before heading up the front path.
470
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,440
And I bet he could
tell us the colour
471
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,520
of the scoutmaster's shoelaces.
472
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:52,560
I dare say.
473
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,040
Which leaves the Major.
474
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,760
Any progress on that footprint?
475
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:00,920
Matter of fact, yes.
476
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,160
So the large structures
are tree seeds,
477
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,760
some sort of conifer.
478
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,200
Combined with the barley
fragments and fungal spores,
479
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,080
we're looking at a
specific time and place,
480
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,680
a pedological
photograph if you will.
481
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,560
A photograph of what?
482
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,480
We'd have to sample mud from
barley fields in the area.
483
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,720
But if we can locate
the same profile,
484
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,240
We'll know who the killer is.
485
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,160
Let's go and see if the Major's
got any mud on his shoes.
486
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,440
"Honest, loyal,
ex-army gentlemen of means
487
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,760
"seeks warmhearted lady for
companionship and home fires."
488
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:42,280
A lady like Alice Croft
or Hilary Sympson-Smythe,
489
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,520
or Lois Mason.
490
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,840
For the umpteenth time,
I've never met these women.
491
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,000
Mud was found in
Lois Mason's porch.
492
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,400
The remnants perfectly match
the tread of your shoes.
493
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,880
As they no doubt would
494
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,640
the shoes of everyone else
495
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,000
who owns the same
ubiquitous brand.
496
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,680
Awfully clean, aren't they?
497
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,360
Given that you live in a rural area.
498
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,080
Well, you can take the
man out of the army.
499
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,440
Seems you've
discovered my footwear
500
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,160
is as clean as my conscience,
501
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,840
so you're clutching at straws,
inspector.
502
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,160
You've visited
Gravestocks News Agents
503
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,560
two days before
Hilary was murdered.
504
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,240
What did you buy?
505
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,440
I believe it was a jigsaw puzzle.
506
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,760
A jigsaw of what?
507
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:34,720
No idea.
508
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,560
One with a picture on it.
509
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,680
Who for?
510
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,200
My Aunt Edith.
511
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:42,880
And if you'd done your job,
512
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,200
you would have found out that
I also bought a birthday card
513
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,880
and some parcel string in
order to post it to her
514
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:53,120
for her birthday,
as I do every year.
515
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,960
What's with the jigsaw
puzzle fixation, Major?
516
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,040
Come now, Inspector.
517
00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:01,640
Once a lady's fertile and
attractive years are behind her,
518
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,000
what else is there
for her to do?
519
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,000
Now, unless you have
some actual evidence,
520
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,040
Inspector Gillespie,
521
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:12,760
I should take myself
home for supper.
522
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,280
Good day.
523
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,800
I had to just watch him walk out.
524
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:24,880
It's unconscionable, I know,
525
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,040
but we simply have no proof.
526
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,120
Apologies. Mrs. Clam, we've
lost our appetite somewhat.
527
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,440
No, I must apologise.
528
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,800
I seem to be ruining breakfast,
lunch and dinner ever since.
529
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:38,640
Don't worry. Mrs. C.
530
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,200
No one's noticed.
531
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,160
Awful to think that Lois
opened her heart to that man,
532
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,800
only to fall into his terrible trap.
533
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,760
Wait, that's it.
534
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,280
A trap.
535
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,560
We send the Major an
invitation from a fake admirer.
536
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:54,880
We wait for them to
crack out the bentanol
537
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,440
and then we catch
him in the act.
538
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,720
With respect,
539
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,160
not only are those
ethics somewhat dubious.
540
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,840
Sod the ethics!
541
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:02,840
But what woman in her right
mind would submit herself
542
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,120
to such a dangerous endeavour?
543
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,800
I shall do it.
544
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,320
Mrs. Clam, no.
545
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,080
Nonsense, I insist!
546
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,560
If I can prevent another lone
woman from being murdered,
547
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,960
then...
548
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,240
That is absolutely
courageous of you,
549
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,040
but it would be
risky and dangerous.
550
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:18,760
You're on.
551
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,360
Good,
I shall see to the custard.
552
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,080
She's perfect.
553
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,120
Are the Great Slaughter Police
really so under-resourced
554
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,640
that we would use a civilian
in a hunt-trap operation?
555
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,360
You said "we".
556
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,360
What?
557
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,240
Seems you're one of us now.
558
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,280
So what do we think?
559
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,480
There must be something
here between milkmaid
560
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,200
and Moulin Rouge.
561
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,320
Jolly well hope so.
562
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,160
Right.
563
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,680
Let's cook the Major up an
invitation he can't refuse.
564
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,240
So how would you
describe yourself, Vera?
565
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,920
Tidy, churchgoing, spinster.
566
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,400
Put trim,
ballroom dancing, bon viveur.
567
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,000
Very good.
568
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,720
The voice of an expert.
569
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,160
Don't forget he has a type.
570
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,960
Put curvaceous and homely,
571
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,560
likes hugging and baking.
572
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:19,480
Dreadful!
573
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:20,840
Perfect.
574
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,120
I had my suspicions
about that Major.
575
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,760
Do you know,
he gets more letters
576
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,400
than any other lonely heart,
577
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,240
even "Stronger with Livestock"
and "Tap Dancing Romeo."
578
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,560
Focus, Colin.
579
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,520
That marcel isn't
going to wave itself.
580
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,520
Sorry, mother.
581
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:37,440
Ready when you are.
582
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,800
I think this'll work.
583
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,040
What's your worry?
584
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,760
Well just that a
honey trap requires...
585
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,320
Well you you know...
586
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:46,200
honey.
587
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:51,440
Ready?
588
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,640
Hells bells, Mrs. C.
589
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,880
Where have you been
hiding that figure?
590
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,280
I'll thank you to rein in
the profanity Ms. Penny.
591
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:08,120
Roger that.
592
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,960
Tempted to say that what
you've both achieved
593
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,800
leaves the loaves and the
fishes somewhat in the shade.
594
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,920
We make a great team,
don't we Colin?
595
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:18,840
The best.
596
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,520
Dear Major Heart Sing,
597
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,720
That's it,
Mrs. C. Really work it.
598
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,840
I noticed your advertisement.
599
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,200
Blow us a kiss.
600
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,800
I wish to invite you for supper.
601
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,280
Though somewhat beyond
the first flush of youth,
602
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,320
I'm told I still have a
certain twinkle in my eye.
603
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,720
Dear Vera,
604
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,120
I hope you won't think me forward
605
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,960
in calling you by your Christian name.
606
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,240
So enchanted was I by your letter,
607
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,240
that I feel we are already friends.
608
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,520
Needless to say,
609
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,760
I should be delighted to
accept your invitation.
610
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,600
Bear in mind that
barbital has no antidote.
611
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,280
Lethal dose is a mere 55 grains.
612
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,280
Do not drink the sherry.
613
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,280
Because otherwise we will
have to do the dubious honour
614
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:13,280
of gastric lavage.
615
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,960
How about a role-play?
616
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,080
Shall we, role-play?
617
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,920
So I'll be Major.
618
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,080
Imagine that the date
is going swimmingly,
619
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,480
and I'm about to strike.
620
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,560
Oh.
621
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,640
uh, splendid vol-au-vents, Vera.
622
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,640
Do have another, Major.
623
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,480
Oh. Don't mind if I do.
624
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:43,840
Mm...
625
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,040
Time for a top-up,
wouldn't you say?
626
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,680
Now you'll need a reason to
excuse yourself for a moment.
627
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,680
I think I need a lie down.
628
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,280
Well, don't come on too strong.
629
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,240
No, I think I really
do need a lie down.
630
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,120
Might I suggest that
if things get too much,
631
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,840
Mrs. Clam could utter a safe word?
632
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,920
And then we will intervene.
633
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,400
Yes. Good idea.
634
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,040
I like the word
somnambulant or owl.
635
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,400
A word that is germane
to the scenario.
636
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,960
Well, can't I just say help?
637
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,480
Macaroni.
The safe word is macaroni.
638
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:19,760
Macaroni?
639
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:21,520
Macaroni.
640
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,960
Oh!
641
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,320
Courage, Vera.
642
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:27,320
That was just Peggy.
643
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,520
We have some digging to do.
644
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:30,240
Godspeed, all!
645
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,320
Macaroni, macaroni.
646
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,560
Chin up, poor thing.
647
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,160
Only nine more to go.
648
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,160
Nine fields and only
one of you sister.
649
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,400
Yes, I do sometimes think an
extra one or two would help.
650
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,560
One of me could do the carrying.
651
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,520
Another could do the map reading.
652
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,320
I can do the measuring.
653
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,920
I should be in charge of digging.
654
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,080
I'll gather samples.
655
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,880
Oh,
put me down for tea and tiffin.
656
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,360
You all right, sister?
657
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:20,160
Yes.
I suppose it has been a long day.
658
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,480
Perhaps it's time for
a slice of Battenberg.
659
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:23,760
Oh, now you're talking.
660
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,720
Vera!
661
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:41,600
Major.
662
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,360
You're even prettier in person.
663
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,600
Oh, nonsense.
664
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:54,880
May I?
665
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,680
Oh... yes.
666
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,160
Do come in.
667
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,160
Of course they prefer
to be shown no mercy.
668
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,080
I cut their heads off,
669
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,720
bury them in my cellar,
670
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,480
then dig them up when
the time is right.
671
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,360
What?
672
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,880
The tubers, the dahlias.
673
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,000
I grew them myself.
674
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,080
Something of a hobby.
675
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,400
Tell me about your interests.
676
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,640
I imagine your Foxtrot
is quite something,
677
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:33,920
from the looks of you.
678
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,760
My Foxtrot is strictly off limits!
679
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,480
Sciatica.
680
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,280
Ah, my sympathy.
681
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:45,480
I fear my dancing days
are also behind me,
682
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:50,320
but still plenty of lead
in my pencil so to speak.
683
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,200
I shall just pop
on some Mantovani
684
00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,920
and then go and warm the oven.
685
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,160
That one's number 17.
686
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,640
Yes, some intriguing nematodes,
687
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,160
but not what we're looking for.
688
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,080
Okay, next?
689
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:18,920
Number nine.
690
00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:21,640
Like a very boring game of bingo.
691
00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:22,480
Yes.
692
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:33,880
Oh!
693
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,280
Bingo, Peggy my girl!
694
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:36,240
Number nine?
695
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,400
Erm, that's Crooked Mile Field.
696
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,320
So it is, yes.
697
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,000
Oh my.
698
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:52,880
Didn't leave your Wellies
in the rain again,
699
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:53,920
did you sister?
700
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,480
No, Peggy.
701
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,680
I fear a far greater
oversight has occurred.
702
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,360
Aren't we supposed to go in?
703
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,080
We need to let it play out
704
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:14,800
Abort!
705
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:15,600
Abort!
706
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:16,680
Really?
707
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,960
Abort!
708
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:19,040
Abort, abort!
709
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:21,600
We are in the middle of...
710
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,840
The killer isn't Major Travis!
711
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:24,880
What?
712
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,160
Well, rather it is Major Travis,
713
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,440
just not that one.
714
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,920
Oh gosh, you weren't wrong.
715
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,440
You certainly are nimble.
716
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,840
Macaroni.
717
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,160
Macaroni!
718
00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:38,440
I think dinner can wait, don't you?
719
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,040
You may consider me
easy pickings, Major,
720
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,520
but you will not indulge
your hideous perversions
721
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:47,840
in my parlour!
722
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,400
Excuse me?
723
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,120
Yes. I belong to a
generation of unwed women
724
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,880
who've been put out to grass,
725
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,640
but we shall not be silenced,
726
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,840
and we shall certainly
not be murdered!
727
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,320
Mrs. Clam!
728
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,480
Yes, let's find you a towel.
729
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,040
So this is the field
that the mud's on?
730
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,720
Crooked Mile Field.
731
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,200
A the railway line cuts
right through the middle.
732
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,280
So he makes sure that the
conductor stamps his ticket,
733
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,360
and then he gets off
the train a stop early.
734
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,000
And then headed back to
Lois's, across country.
735
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,080
But I simply can't see how Colin
736
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,080
has been passing himself
off as Major Travis.
737
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,680
Not to mention he's
20 years too young.
738
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:35,560
Colin?
739
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,160
You mean hair and makeup Colin?
740
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:44,560
The architect of my
lonely hearts persona?
741
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,160
Let's make some tea, shall we?
742
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:48,360
Tea...
743
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,400
Oh, of course.
744
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,960
The cornflour, to whiten the hair!
745
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,440
Yes!
746
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,440
I say, Colin's been studying
the Major for some time.
747
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,720
Learning his
mannerisms and whatnot.
748
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,320
Quite the performance.
749
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,600
A tragedy at that.
750
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,400
Time for his curtain call.
751
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:11,640
Oh!
752
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:22,960
Yes?
753
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,400
Well, he's not at his desk.
754
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:27,800
Fine, give me a sec.
755
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:30,320
Proofs.
756
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,960
Proofs.
757
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:45,560
Fight over,
758
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,360
I just spoke to Peggy.
Safe and sound.
759
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:48,320
Splendid.
760
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,560
Everything all right?
761
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:51,800
Never better!
762
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:07,880
You have to catch me first!
763
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,440
Oh, get lost, Colin!
764
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,840
It's not even nine o'clock.
765
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,160
Mrs. Sweet,
it's Inspector Gillespie.
766
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,640
Is Colin not at home?
767
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,960
No, I told him...
768
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,760
Asked him to stay out.
769
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,480
One-to-one rehearsal.
770
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,160
It's a very challenging scene.
771
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:38,040
Do you have any
idea where Colin is?
772
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:38,920
No.
773
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,360
Looking for these?
774
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,240
I believe you have
something of mine.
775
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,880
Perhaps we could do an exchange.
776
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,560
And what if I say no?
777
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,720
Are you going to do to me what
you did to those other women?
778
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,120
Heaven's no.
779
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,600
You're not at all the Major's type.
780
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,720
You're nothing but a coward!
781
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,280
Colin, please!
782
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:25,480
Ruth!
783
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:30,160
Show's over, Colin.
784
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:34,440
Take him away.
785
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,320
You are not obliged to say anything
786
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,400
unless you wish to do so,
787
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:39,640
but what you say may....
788
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:41,120
Slow gentle breaths, soldier.
789
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:43,280
Ruth.
790
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,320
I'm fine.
791
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,720
Nothing worse than
a broken fingernail.
792
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,560
I'm so sorry I let
that happen to you.
793
00:39:55,880 --> 00:40:00,680
So, Rodolfo came on the scene
and you were jealous, angry.
794
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,880
You felt replaced, betrayed.
795
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,600
He hasn't even learned his lines.
796
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,800
Where'd you get
the bentanol from?
797
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,480
Mother had a stash.
798
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,440
I remember watching
her take it at bedtime,
799
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,560
always the same teacup.
800
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:20,520
The Lily sent of the cold cream,
the bliss on her face.
801
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,880
She drifted into oblivion.
802
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,160
So the cold cream
803
00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:25,880
wasn't about making
your victims anonymous.
804
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,320
It was about turning them to Ida,
805
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,520
a version of Ida that
you could control.
806
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,360
Like she controlled you.
807
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,240
Mother never forgave me.
808
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,200
For what?
809
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,480
She had ambitions,
810
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,120
Shaftesbury Avenue, Broadway.
811
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,280
But father ran off and
she had to ditch it all
812
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,000
to look after me.
813
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,360
Times were tough.
814
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,360
She was good at spotting talent,
815
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,320
and my talent was jigsaw puzzles.
816
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,680
She started drinking heavily.
817
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,320
Prize money was a lifeline.
818
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:59,280
Second place means you lost.
819
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,400
Let's not let nerves get the
better of us again, shall we?
820
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,000
It's a sad story.
821
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,840
But people have worse
mothers than yours.
822
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,160
You don't see them plying
women with barbiturates
823
00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:50,680
and watching them die.
824
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,160
You know,
I've never hurt mother.
825
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,280
I love her,
despite how she's been carrying on.
826
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,720
Honestly, it's unseemly.
827
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:00,920
Unseemly?
828
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,240
Three women are dead.
829
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:04,240
Oh dear.
830
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,760
You're hurting.
831
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,320
You feel you failed.
832
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:13,800
We've so much in common.
833
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,120
No, we're done.
834
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:17,680
And you're in jail,
835
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,080
hopefully for the rest of your life.
836
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,800
I don't fear incarceration.
837
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,400
After all,
a lock is just another puzzle.
838
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:30,920
Put the pieces in the correct order
839
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,960
and it's open sesame.
840
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,160
Ready?
841
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,960
Not bad news I hope?
842
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,720
It's from the Major.
843
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,240
Oh dear.
844
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,440
Dry cleaning bill?
845
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,000
May I?
846
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,440
Dear Vera,
847
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,640
so taken was I by your
pluck and fortitude,
848
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:13,200
not to mention your
delightful hors d'oeuvres,
849
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:14,880
that I would wish to see...
850
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:19,160
See you again.
851
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,080
There's only one mom
that I want to see again.
852
00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:28,960
Today would have been
Cyril's 70th birthday.
853
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,920
I expected to be
surrounded by children
854
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,600
and grandchildren by now.
855
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,240
He was a brave man.
856
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,240
The bravest.
857
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:42,400
And the best.
858
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,520
He would've been proud of you.
859
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:50,480
Come along!
860
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,520
Those bells aren't going
to ring themselves.
59171
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.