Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,778
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
2
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,682
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no...no!
3
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,784
Okay, fine.
4
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:19,552
- Ryan?
- Yeah?
5
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,121
Is something the matter?
6
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,122
Oh...
7
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,391
Yeah, I guess it's just Smokey.
8
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:27,260
I'm still processing that.
9
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:30,330
Did you not hear?
10
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,531
Smokey's dead.
11
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,867
Smokey...the bear?
12
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,602
Smokey Robinson, Pam.
13
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:38,638
He died, like, an hour ago.
I guess I'm the first to know.
14
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,474
Wow, that's terrible.
I really liked him.
15
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,410
Oh, you liked him?
That's nice.
16
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,679
Did you "like" when he changed
the course of American music,
17
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:46,813
like, two or three times?
18
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:48,815
Did you "like"
that "Tracks of My Tears"
19
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,418
is maybe the last true
love song ever written?
20
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,819
I'm glad you like him, Jim.
21
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:55,155
I am completely devastated
right now.
22
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,557
Well, I second that emotion.
23
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,459
- Huh?
- I know a few of his songs,
24
00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:00,694
but what were his big ones?
25
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,829
Oh, God, Nellie,
what wasn't his?
26
00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,831
I mean, um,
"Tracks of My Tears"...
27
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,367
- Yeah.
- Um, God, so many, Nellie.
28
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,169
No, no, no.
29
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,237
"Tracks of My Tears"
and what else?
30
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:12,205
What are some more?
31
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,307
What's one more?
32
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,310
Okay, I'm not--
I'm not playing this game, Pam.
33
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:18,244
Not today.
34
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,846
I don't think
you love Smokey Robinson,
35
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:21,348
I think you're
just doing all of this
36
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,316
to prove how deep you are
about music.
37
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,652
Okay, I'm sorry that
I'm not a fan of Jason Mraz
38
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:26,886
or The Beatles.
39
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,221
You don't like
The Beatles?
40
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,656
That's--that's not the point.
41
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,257
"Eleanor Rigby"?
"Paperback Writer"?
42
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:32,359
Okay, you know,
you always think you have time
43
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,727
to see these legends
before they go.
44
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,328
What was I so busy doing?
45
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,330
It says here
the "Smokey Robinson dead"
46
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,598
thing is a hoax.
47
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,201
It's on CNN
as of two minutes ago.
48
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,571
Okay, well, that's a relief.
49
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,772
Wow, look at that.
50
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,741
Says he's actually playing
State College.
51
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,209
It's only three hours away.
52
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:52,612
Oh, my God, Ryan,
that's perfect!
53
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:53,680
You have to go.
54
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,482
Tickets are 250 bucks.
55
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,484
$250 is nothing
56
00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:01,187
to the world's biggest
Smokey Robinson fan.
57
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,223
Yeah.
58
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:04,524
Who's opening?
59
00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:07,394
- Paul Anka.
- Paul Anka?
60
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:10,230
How can they make the smoke man
play with someone like that?
61
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,198
I don't think I can see this.
62
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:13,667
Okay, you could just
show up late, though.
63
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:14,768
How much is parking?
Like 30 bucks?
64
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,771
That's not what Smokey
would've wanted--does want.
65
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,606
"Tears of a Clown."
66
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,907
Don't call me a clown,
Pam.
67
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,676
You're better than that.
68
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:36,690
* *
69
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,392
{\an8}- * And there will be
a reckoning *
70
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,561
{\an8}* Of your soul *
71
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,531
{\an8}* Upon the horizon *
72
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,733
{\an8}* Upon the horizon... *
73
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,268
{\an8}- Pam?
Mm-hmm?
74
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:49,769
{\an8}I don't read fiction anymore.
75
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,404
{\an8}Can you believe that?
76
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,540
{\an8}And it's not that they're not
putting out great fiction.
77
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,941
{\an8}They are.
78
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:58,478
{\an8}I just have no appetite for it.
79
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,612
{\an8}Looking good, R.C.
80
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:01,414
{\an8}Ugh, I hate ties.
81
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,949
{\an8}I feel like
I'm being strangled,
82
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:05,852
{\an8}like I'm at some
erotic asphyxiation sex club
83
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,721
{\an8}over on I-84.
84
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,556
{\an8}The Red Room, say?
Or Dominic's?
85
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,492
{\an8}- Robert, the senator was gonna
wear dark brown tonight.
86
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:15,862
{\an8}I'm sure it'll be fine.
87
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:18,565
{\an8}My husband is sponsoring
a fundraiser tonight
88
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,033
{\an8}for local dog shelters.
89
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:23,370
{\an8}Robert California bought
two tables for everyone here.
90
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,938
{\an8}These people were lucky
to get seats,
91
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,673
{\an8}because it is gonna be
a who's who
92
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,509
{\an8}of the northern 22nd district.
93
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,378
{\an8}
94
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,446
{\an8}- I don't want to alarm people,
but there is a distinct chance
95
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,348
{\an8}that we're all
about to be killed.
96
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,883
{\an8}- Well, as long as
you don't want to alarm people.
97
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,585
{\an8}- What's going on?
There is a disgruntled
98
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,454
{\an8}ex-employee sitting in his car
in the parking lot.
99
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,056
{\an8}- Oh, that's Andy.
He's just hanging out.
100
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,325
{\an8}- Yeah, that's how workplace
tragedies always begin.
101
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,827
{\an8}A middle-aged white male
"hanging out."
102
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,329
{\an8}Call the cops.
103
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,630
{\an8}- Dwight, I don't think
he's gonna hurt anybody.
104
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,798
{\an8}How do you know?
105
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:52,866
{\an8}I mean,
why do you think he's there?
106
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,768
{\an8}- I don't even know
what kind of weapon he has.
107
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,536
{\an8}Could be a knife,
could be a gun,
108
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,005
{\an8}could be a series of guns
all lined up to shoot parallel.
109
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,640
{\an8}I'm going up to the roof,
110
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,977
{\an8}and I'm gonna...
bring my gym bag, just in case.
111
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,478
{\an8}- I knew
this would happen.
112
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,481
{\an8}Everybody told me
if I moved to America,
113
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,783
{\an8}I'd be murdered.
114
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,355
{\an8}
115
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,657
{\an8}- Hey.
Hey.
116
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,459
{\an8}Just wanted to say hi
117
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,994
{\an8}and hear you say
everything's normal.
118
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,662
{\an8}Maybe videotape you saying that
119
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,931
{\an8}so that everyone upstairs
can see.
120
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,766
{\an8}- We think you might
kill Robert.
121
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,867
{\an8}What?
122
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,002
{\an8}Because he fired you,
123
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,905
{\an8}which means apparently
you're living in your car now.
124
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,640
{\an8}Guys, everything is fine.
125
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,875
{\an8}I'm just here to pick up Erin.
We're going to the fundraiser.
126
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,510
{\an8}- Oh, great.
Oh, great, that sounds good.
127
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:38,411
{\an8}Wait, what?
128
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,580
{\an8}You're going
to the fundraiser tonight?
129
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,715
{\an8}That's gonna be weird.
130
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,383
{\an8}Why would that be weird?
131
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:46,519
{\an8}- It's gonna be super-weird.
He just fired you last week.
132
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,822
{\an8}- Andy's just coming
as my date.
133
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,657
{\an8}- Hey, I hear you.
I hope you're right.
134
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:53,993
{\an8}It just seems like
it's gonna be really...
135
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,662
{\an8}- really weird.
Okay.
136
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,865
{\an8}-
Come in.
137
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,368
{\an8}- You really redid
Andy's office, huh?
138
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,902
{\an8}Yes, cut out the clutter.
139
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,505
{\an8}Very simple, very minimal.
140
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,941
{\an8}- Need you to sign these.
We got a shipment going out.
141
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,543
{\an8}- How are things
in the warehouse?
142
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,412
{\an8}- You could go downstairs
and ask 'em.
143
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,882
{\an8}- The warehouse
isn't downstairs.
144
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,585
{\an8}Is it?
145
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:19,686
{\an8}Is it.
146
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,555
{\an8}Who knew, right?
147
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,025
{\an8}Ah.
148
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,727
{\an8}Tonight could be the night
that Darryl and I
149
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:32,532
{\an8}go from casual work friends
to actual good friends.
150
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,467
{\an8}The only thing
standing in our way is
151
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,538
the contempt
he seems to feel for me.
152
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,573
How did this happen?
153
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,743
How did a snooty,
privileged English woman
154
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:44,911
end up in this office,
155
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,681
while my snooty,
privileged American friend
156
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,683
ended up in the parking lot?
157
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,953
Robert, the senator and I
wanted to stop by.
158
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,088
- Hey, Robert.
- Robert, how are you?
159
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,122
- Say hello.
- Excuse me.
160
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,524
Who is watching the baby?
161
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:58,992
You didn't use that bimbo
again, did you?
162
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,994
Erin is coming here tonight.
163
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,762
Who is it?
Someone you trust?
164
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,097
Is it a junkie?
165
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,565
Did you check their veins?
Between their toes?
166
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,033
You are quite
the interrogator.
167
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,568
We could use you
in the state assembly.
168
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,704
Why would I do that?
169
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:11,771
You're a public servant.
170
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:12,872
I'm a member of the public.
171
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,208
Therefore, I am your master.
172
00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,076
Hello.
173
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,211
Did anyone order
a blast from the past
174
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,679
with a side order of sexy?
175
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,680
Hey.
176
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,681
- Hey.
- Hi, Andy.
177
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,782
Oh, man, this is weird.
178
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,818
- Andrew.
- Oh, uh,
179
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,821
want to shake my hand, huh?
180
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:28,955
'Cause I want to shake
your body!
181
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,060
I had you. I had you!
182
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,495
This is great.
183
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,963
You guys,
I'm psyched to see you.
184
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,032
I'm really psyched.
This is gonna rock.
185
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,900
You know,
but not in, like, "rock."
186
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,002
Like chill rock.
187
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,937
Like Christopher Cross.
188
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,638
Wh--wha--where do I look?
189
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:48,475
It's been so long since
I did one of these things.
190
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,643
Okay, all right, how--
uh, what's the question?
191
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:51,678
How am I doing?
192
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,180
Um, great.
193
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,085
So how's the talent?
194
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,187
Gray suit over there
is sending a signal.
195
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,957
- Mm-hmm.
- Downstairs is receiving.
196
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:07,761
Is that Gabe?
197
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,529
Ladies.
198
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,532
How come you look so dec'
all the sudden?
199
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,200
Yeah, normally
you look so stricken.
200
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,503
Well, I'm embarrassed.
201
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,538
I, uh, I had to give up
my hair gel
202
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,807
'cause it was giving me
this angry rash on my scalp,
203
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,276
and I just gave up on
this low-protein diet
204
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,878
that I was doing
for eight years,
205
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:27,714
so...ladies seem to like it.
206
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,050
Plus, I'm getting, like, half
as many bladder infections.
207
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,618
- Wow.
- Yeah.
208
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,485
Wow.
209
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,054
You ladies look
very pretty as well.
210
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,221
Thanks.
211
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,856
Why is it that things are
212
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,225
their most beautiful
in the autumn of their lives?
213
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,129
You had to say that.
214
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,998
Sorry. Sorry.
215
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,566
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
216
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:51,171
Creed, I just bid $20
on six jiujitsu lessons.
217
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,972
No one's raping this guy.
218
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,274
Oh, I don't want
to get raped.
219
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,542
22.
220
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,043
No, it was my idea
to not be raped.
221
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,545
- Well, well...
- What, you think
222
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,014
jiujitsu classes cost $22?
223
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,048
If you're gonna play
"guess the price,"
224
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,950
you might as well try
to be halfway accurate.
225
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,652
$180.
226
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:08,254
Oh. Dwight, I don't think
you understand--
227
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,690
You guess the price,
you win the prize.
228
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,159
Have you never been
to a Quaker fair before?
229
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,563
God.
230
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:21,634
So Dwight doesn't understand
silent auctions.
231
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,938
I guess he's the stupid guy
in the office, huh?
232
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,275
'Cause up till now,
we didn't have one.
233
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,844
What haven't I been doing?
234
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,812
Gosh, just today, I was working
on this rock opera
235
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,080
that I'm writing,
although it feels more
236
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,049
like I'm receiving it
than writing it.
237
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,952
Wow.
Yeah, that's exciting.
238
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,286
But until you firm up the idea,
239
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,621
you might want to keep it
between us.
240
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,224
The hero lives
in this dystopian future,
241
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,292
and he flies around
in a spaceship
242
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,661
that's shaped
like a--a treble clef,
243
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,297
and he has to sing his
heart out to destroy all evil.
244
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,166
Sounds like
you're doing all right.
245
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,101
Uh, a little better
than all right, actually.
246
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,171
Really good.
247
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,906
If anything,
I feel sorry for you guys.
248
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,141
Oh.
249
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,142
And don't take this
the wrong way,
250
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,644
but I mean, back and forth
to work every day,
251
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,914
like worker bee drones
in your metal coffins.
252
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,382
I know exactly what you mean.
253
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,117
Have you thought about
getting into photography?
254
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,185
Are you kidding me?
255
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,386
'Cause I'm way into it.
256
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,021
What are you
taking pictures of?
257
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,089
- Children?
- Yes.
258
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,223
- Homeless people?
- Yes!
259
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,858
'Cause in a way,
they're more real...
260
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,361
both: Than the rest of us!
261
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,730
Oh, this guy's
having a breakdown.
262
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,799
You know, Oscar,
I really had no idea
263
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,200
that you were so passionate
about animals.
264
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,835
- My dog Gerald is my life.
- Really?
265
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,870
Well, if you want
to get involved, call me.
266
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,806
This is my cell.
267
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:36,209
I'm more likely to pick up
at night,
268
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,245
say, um, after 9:00.
269
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,216
Excuse me.
270
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,651
This confirms three things:
271
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,186
I'm right about the senator,
272
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,821
I still got it,
273
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,756
and poor Angela.
274
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,291
Darryl, would you like
my croutons?
275
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,926
You can have
as many as you like.
276
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,260
- I'm good.
- Okay.
277
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,762
Well, I really didn't want
to have to do this,
278
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,097
because I love cucumber,
279
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,232
but would you like my cuke?
280
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,234
- I'm good.
- Okay.
281
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,702
Oh, look what I'm doing.
282
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,804
I'm eating my salad
with my dinner fork.
283
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,472
Oh, my goodness.
284
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,973
I'm like an animal in a zoo.
285
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,208
Stupid Nellie.
286
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,343
Stupid blue-collar,
regular old Nellie.
287
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,045
It's just the--
288
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,347
salad fork is the short one.
289
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,815
You mean it's not this one?
290
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:16,983
Well, it doesn't
really matter.
291
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,251
I mean, either way.
292
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,020
I mean, it's just a--
it's just a fancy rake
293
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,756
for shoveling the food down,
really, isn't it, so...
294
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,291
It's better.
295
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,893
It's much better.
296
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,166
I wonder where
they got the flowers.
297
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,235
Oh, that piece
is so predictable.
298
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,970
Daffodils in spring.
299
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,139
I wonder what's next--
mistletoe at Christmas?
300
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,840
Yeah.
301
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,476
Oh, it says, "You're welcome
to take this home."
302
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,278
Oh.
303
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,746
Sweetie, you don't want that.
304
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,182
Even in your house,
it's a little much.
305
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,418
Have you ever been
to our house?
306
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,886
Well, no, not exactly,
307
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,321
but I know the flats.
308
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,091
I am gonna say
what everyone is afraid to say.
309
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,360
Phyllis is a bully.
310
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,430
A big, beautiful bully.
311
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,766
And she is not getting
that centerpiece.
312
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,968
Step in right away,
and start--
313
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,970
Bobby? Bob-o?
314
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,173
You're a rock opera guy, right?
You like rock operas.
315
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,474
- Well--
- You got to check out
316
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,309
this thing I'm working on--
it's really cool.
317
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,044
There's this character,
Thomas Oregon,
318
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:21,047
and he wants to destroy
all the guitars in the world,
319
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:25,185
because he realizes that
music is the one thing
320
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,053
he can't control.
321
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,223
Huh, so Thomas Oregon
is an evil figure?
322
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,792
Evil.
323
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,461
Although,
he's humanized at the end
324
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,931
because he weeps uncontrollably
and pees in his pants.
325
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:40,367
And the hero,
who is that based on?
326
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,503
Me, I guess.
327
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,773
* We're flying so high
we're cracking the sky *
328
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:50,477
* Gonna fly out of this storm,
my girlfriend and I *
329
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,116
Hey, jabroni,
show come class.
330
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,351
She's right, Andy,
you're being a jabroni.
331
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,919
You're being
a Thomas Oregon.
332
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,523
Uh, Andrew...
333
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,826
I think this may have been
a bad idea.
334
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,529
Why don't you let me pay
for you and Erin to go out
335
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,265
to a great,
romantic dinner tonight?
336
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,035
Don't need you to pay for me.
I'm doing just fine, thank you.
337
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,338
Why don't you quit
harshing our mellow?
338
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,840
Andy, you should leave.
339
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,410
Now.
340
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,145
Excuse me,
341
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,379
I would like to purchase
two seats
342
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,581
at another table, please.
343
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,550
Oh, I'm sorry, the tables
are sold as complete units.
344
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,119
Then I'll take a table.
345
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,120
Okay.
346
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,122
And a high five.
347
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,358
Let's do that again.
348
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,297
Well, I just give a dollar
to every charity.
349
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,199
That way, you get all the mail,
all the calendars--
350
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,034
you can't believe how much
you get just for a buck.
351
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,938
And it's also nice to know
you're making a difference.
352
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,007
Jim and I give
to the Red Cross.
353
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,442
Are you sure
you ought to be giving?
354
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,311
I mean...
With your financial situation.
355
00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,913
Excuse me?
356
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,351
You ladies are as tangy as
the salad dressing over there.
357
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,252
I love it.
358
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,089
Oh, yes, indeed.
359
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,624
When.
360
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,060
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
361
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,995
Forgot a few salads.
362
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,068
When.
363
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,540
When.
364
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:33,446
I stumbled into
a very dramatic situation.
365
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,383
Here, let me move this
so you can see him.
366
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:40,620
- Pam. Pam!
- Yeah.
367
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,623
Angela's husband
just hit on me.
368
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,325
- Oh, my God.
- I know!
369
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,926
Wait, what? Come on.
370
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,363
We were talking
about animals.
371
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,032
He gives me
his cell phone number.
372
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,099
He was just dying
for me to have it.
373
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,969
Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying
you're not dreamy,
374
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,971
because you are,
but isn't it possible
375
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,906
that he was just
schmoozing a voter?
376
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,575
Well, if you would have seen
the look he gave me--
377
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,377
he wanted to rock
more than just my vote.
378
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,013
Okay. What was this look?
379
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,917
Whoa.
380
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,052
- What happened? Did he do it?
- Are you--
381
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,319
- I--
- Twice.
382
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,554
For real?
383
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,690
Okay, guys, not every glance
means something, all right?
384
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,192
- Life isn't "Downton Abbey."
- Life is "Downton Abbey."
385
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,193
Here's what I'm gonna do.
386
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,661
I'm gonna go over there,
I'm gonna talk to him,
387
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,163
and I guarantee you,
he gives out
388
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,998
his cell phone to everybody.
389
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,003
Uh, whoa.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
390
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,471
What, you think
this is just, like,
391
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,672
the bar or something?
392
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,607
This whole table is paid for.
393
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,112
Thank you.
394
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,683
Your own table.
395
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:48,722
That was a very generous
donation, Andrew.
396
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,324
And apologies if there was,
perhaps,
397
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,593
some tension back there.
398
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,996
No. It's so good
to see you, Robert.
399
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,466
But we have a lot
of entrées to finish,
400
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,600
so I guess we should start.
401
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,668
Do you want to--
402
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,370
There was no tension.
403
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,471
You know, life's funny.
404
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,539
You just gotta laugh
at this stuff.
405
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,575
There is a humor to it,
without question.
406
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,080
I mean,
it's a little messed up,
407
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,315
what you did.
408
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,449
How is that?
409
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,184
Firing me
410
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,154
and making some chick you like
the manager.
411
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,455
Look, I'm not mad.
412
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,391
I mean, we're all past it.
413
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,460
Everyone thinks it's funny.
414
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,095
But it's weird.
415
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,630
Right?
At least admit it's weird.
416
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,032
I do not admit that.
417
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,433
You don't admit that. Really?
418
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,601
Wow.
419
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,369
Get a load of this guy.
420
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,772
Sticking to that old story.
421
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:39,773
Come on.
422
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,675
I'm telling the truth
to the king over here.
423
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,411
I'm like a Shakespearean
frickin' jester.
424
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,513
How 'bout some props?
425
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,451
Robert, do you think I could
finish all of these dinners?
426
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,086
I personally don't
think I could,
427
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,621
'cause I'm already full, but...
428
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,524
Robert, we're ready for you.
429
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,628
Excuse me.
430
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,230
Excused.
431
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:13,640
How much do you guys charge
432
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,142
for one full-year
gym membership?
433
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,546
Thank you.
434
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,784
It's $475.
435
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,188
Like candy from a baby.
436
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,462
That's the third time you've
asked me about my strategy.
437
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,830
It's called guess the price.
438
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,199
Strategy's in the name.
439
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,634
Simplest game
since touch the rock.
440
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,536
Three-time champion.
441
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,271
Almost four, but...
442
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,107
I touched the wood.
443
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,811
Hey.
444
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,214
- David Wallace?
- Andy Bernard?
445
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,548
- Hey, how are you?
- How you doin'?
446
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:56,683
I'm great. How you doin'?
447
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:57,684
Are you still
with Dunder Mifflin?
448
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,586
No, got canned last week.
449
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,287
Oh.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
450
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,722
No, best thing that
ever happened to me.
451
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,090
That's the attitude to have.
452
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,425
You know what?
When I got canned,
453
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,693
I was lost, right?
454
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,628
I poured myself
into this ridiculous
455
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,697
vacuum for toys
called "Suck It."
456
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,099
- Yikes.
- Yeah, exactly, right?
457
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,601
Then suddenly, out of nowhere,
the U.S. Military
458
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:18,571
bought the patent from me
for $20 million.
459
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,306
Point is, forget those guys.
460
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,441
Okay? Move on.
461
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,509
Move on?
462
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,743
I'm partying with 'em tonight.
463
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,211
- Really?
- Yeah.
464
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,414
Sounds a little awkward
to me.
465
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,515
Huh.
466
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,383
I don't even know if I, uh...
467
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,319
would've come if I knew
Dunder Mifflin was here.
468
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,322
Anyway, hey, please,
be sure to tell everyone
469
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,358
that I sold Suck It
for a ton of money.
470
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,727
Good to see you, Andy.
471
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:49,235
Call me a layman, but I wish
there was some real food here.
472
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,671
You know, like, um, hamburgers,
473
00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:54,774
or...um, Oreos,
474
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,911
or a pizza pie, or, um...
475
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,612
what's another food
that we like?
476
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:00,880
Tacos.
477
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,583
What I wouldn't give
for a big...
478
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,454
- mess of tacos right now.
- Tacos.
479
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,222
I can go get us some tacos.
480
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,190
Brilliant.
481
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,658
If you loan me some money.
482
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,828
Yes, I can do that.
483
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:19,733
For, um, for two tacos,
we probably need about,
484
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,636
what, twen--$20, or...25? 20--
485
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,772
- 30.
- $30, yes.
486
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,407
- 30.
- Yeah, um...
487
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,808
I've never eaten a taco.
488
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:31,177
I'm not entirely sure
what they are.
489
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,645
As long as they're not slimy,
490
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:35,815
and please, God,
don't let them have eyes.
491
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,752
Thank you very much.
492
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:41,821
- So?
- Boom.
493
00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:45,225
This is interesting.
494
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,494
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- What is interesting?
495
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,662
I just proved that he gives
his cell out to everybody.
496
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,431
- Mm...
- Or you proved
497
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,732
that he thinks your gay.
498
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:53,900
He doesn't think
Jim is gay.
499
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,769
A gay man would not leave
the house wearing those shoes.
500
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:56,703
Well, a gay man wouldn't
leave the store
501
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,704
wearing those shoes.
502
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,805
Oh.
503
00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,806
Hey, you bought me
these shoes.
504
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,243
Wait a second.
Where's the centerpiece?
505
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,445
I knew it was bothering you,
so I threw it in the garbage.
506
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,279
Really, Phyllis?
507
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,248
You didn't just put it
in your car?
508
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,583
- Nope.
- Which garbage?
509
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,419
It's not there anymore.
A man emptied the garbage
510
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,688
into a bigger garbage,
and then I heard someone say
511
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,289
they were locking the garbage.
512
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,591
You are out of control,
Phyllis.
513
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,859
Come on, sweetie.
514
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,795
We both knew
how this was gonna end.
515
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,901
Before we bring out
our guest of honor tonight,
516
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:31,838
we are very proud to introduce
a great philanthropist
517
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:36,276
and a great guy--
Robert California.
518
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,382
Thank you.
519
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,517
Why do we love dogs?
520
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,853
Want me to tell you why?
521
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,688
There is no answer.
522
00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:52,826
Our love for them
confounds reason.
523
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,327
Can you believe
this guy?
524
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:57,030
State Senator Robert Lipton
loves dogs.
525
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,900
He asked me if I love dogs.
526
00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,669
You know what I said?
527
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,737
Yes.
528
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,907
Not a joke. That w--
that was not even a joke.
529
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:11,378
Bella here was a therapy dog
for ten years.
530
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,714
When her owner passed away,
she came to this organization
531
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:19,986
for placement, but people
don't often adopt older dogs,
532
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:26,693
so Bella and 11 heroes like her
are being cared for
533
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,895
by our generous volunteers,
534
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:32,499
because frankly,
nobody else will.
535
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,034
I will.
536
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:37,504
I will take all of those dogs.
537
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,839
- Andy, that's very kind, but--
- No, no, no, no, no.
538
00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:43,476
This guy can talk and talk
all he wants,
539
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,478
- but it's not that complicated.
- Andy,
540
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,746
- why don't we discuss this--
- No, no, no, no.
541
00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:49,416
It's about being there
for someone
542
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,318
after it's become inconvenient
for them to be around.
543
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,421
Hello, everyone,
I'm Andy Bernard,
544
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:58,591
and I am going to take
that bitch home.
545
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,396
That is a female dog reference.
546
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,832
"This bitch
understands loyalty."
547
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,367
Sassy human reference.
548
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,703
Thank you. I will take Bella.
549
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,571
- Take--
- Aw.
550
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,807
And every single one
of her friends.
551
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,010
Oh, God.
552
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:23,983
He's ruining our event!
553
00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:26,753
Honey, you think
I can't handle this?
554
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,522
I'm a state senator.
555
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:30,890
Mr. Bernard?
556
00:21:30,924 --> 00:21:32,425
- Please, this way, okay?
- Hope you all
557
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:33,493
- learned something.
- Okay.
558
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,633
So you're adopting
12 special needs dogs.
559
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:41,935
Yep.
560
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,136
And this strikes you
as something other
561
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:44,704
than a desperate cry
for attention.
562
00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:47,607
I think I know
when I'm desperately crying.
563
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,942
Well...
564
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,643
good for you.
565
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:53,079
Why don't you let
one of our volunteers
566
00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:54,848
introduce you
to your new family?
567
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,983
Great.
568
00:21:57,017 --> 00:21:58,084
Huey's gonna need
this medication
569
00:21:58,118 --> 00:21:59,753
once every 90 minutes.
570
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:01,821
You can administer it orally,
but he's gonna puke it up,
571
00:22:01,855 --> 00:22:03,623
so other end's best.
572
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,760
Don't split up Daisy and Mojo,
because Daisy'll start to, uh,
573
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,629
I was gonna say "bark,"
but it's more of a scream.
574
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,632
I'm so ready to love
all of these animals.
575
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,068
This one's even
bonding with me already.
576
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:16,903
I know,
Kenny's a therapy dog.
577
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,572
He apparently thinks you're in
some kind of emotional crisis.
578
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,576
Stupid dog.
579
00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,879
Well, if you would like
to talk about this some more,
580
00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:28,848
my door is always open,
so here is my office number
581
00:22:28,882 --> 00:22:30,550
- and my cell number.
- Thank you.
582
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,719
Okay.
583
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,421
Boom. Got his digits.
584
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,622
You owe me a ChapStick.
585
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,860
Well, looks like
he really did
586
00:22:40,894 --> 00:22:42,028
just want to talk
about the issues.
587
00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:43,430
I'm sorry, Oscar.
588
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,631
Oh, sorry about what?
589
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,833
There's nothing
to be sorry about here.
590
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,668
No, I'm certainly
not disappointed
591
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,204
that Angela's husband
wasn't hitting on me.
592
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,973
I'd have to be a monster
to root for that.
593
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:57,844
A lonely, aging monster.
594
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,679
Tacos were on sale.
595
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:02,148
Eight for $3.
596
00:23:02,182 --> 00:23:05,485
Oh, great.
597
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,554
Okay. Oh.
598
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:11,024
- Oh. Oh--oh, these tacos. Right.
- Mm-hmm.
599
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:12,959
Mmm.
600
00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:16,062
Uh, okay.
601
00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:24,738
Mmm. Mmm.
602
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:28,608
Oh, huh.
603
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,877
Mmm.
604
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,946
Well, that's hit the spot.
605
00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:35,849
Um, very savory.
606
00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:37,017
Uh--
607
00:23:37,050 --> 00:23:38,752
What do you do
with the crispy holder?
608
00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:40,520
Oh. Here.
Let's try this again.
609
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:42,589
Here, don't put your finger
in--yeah.
610
00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:44,057
Just hold it like that.
Hold it to the side.
611
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,992
- Right.
- Hold it to the side.
612
00:23:46,026 --> 00:23:47,160
- Lean it to the side.
- This way?
613
00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,962
Look at me.
Like this.
614
00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:51,131
She's trying.
615
00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:53,600
The winner of
the three-day trip
616
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:56,903
to the top of the Skytop Lodge
is Dwight Shrute.
617
00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,707
Yes!
618
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:01,908
Thank you.
619
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:07,013
The year-long membership
to Scranton Bikram Yoga is...
620
00:24:07,047 --> 00:24:08,148
Dwight Shrute.
621
00:24:08,181 --> 00:24:09,883
Oh, yes!
622
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:12,752
Yeah!
623
00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:16,122
A one-hour appointment
with the Kissing Magician
624
00:24:16,156 --> 00:24:18,692
goes to Dwight Shrute.
625
00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:22,028
Oh, ho, ho, ho,
ho, ho, oh, yeah!
626
00:24:22,062 --> 00:24:23,697
Well,
627
00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:26,533
I think I can
save us all some time.
628
00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:30,203
Uh, Dwight Shrute has won
every single item here.
629
00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:31,871
Thank you very much!
630
00:24:31,905 --> 00:24:35,141
All I had to do
was look up the prices, idiots!
631
00:24:35,175 --> 00:24:37,577
- Suck it!
- Well, Dwight, yes,
632
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,713
you certainly are
a record-breaker.
633
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:41,548
Your donation
634
00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:43,683
is the largest
we've ever received,
635
00:24:43,717 --> 00:24:47,087
at over $34,000.
636
00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:55,695
Speech!
637
00:24:55,729 --> 00:24:56,930
Speech.
638
00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:57,997
No, speech.
639
00:24:58,031 --> 00:24:59,099
Speech.
640
00:25:12,212 --> 00:25:13,947
Thank you.
641
00:25:15,382 --> 00:25:18,118
Wow, I can't tell you...
642
00:25:19,252 --> 00:25:21,087
What an honor it is
643
00:25:21,121 --> 00:25:25,058
to support this...thing.
644
00:25:25,091 --> 00:25:26,626
And obviously,
that amount of money
645
00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:29,896
is no concern to me whatsoever.
646
00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:34,801
But I want to ask you
something.
647
00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:39,873
When did it become
all about the money?
648
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:44,277
When did it become about
the flower arrangements
649
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:47,313
and the white wine spritzers,
hmm?
650
00:25:47,347 --> 00:25:49,816
And all the dinner rolls.
651
00:25:49,849 --> 00:25:51,785
You people should be
ashamed of yourselves.
652
00:25:51,818 --> 00:25:54,320
How many courses
did we have tonight?
653
00:25:54,354 --> 00:25:58,958
Two? Three, maybe,
if you chose the pudding.
654
00:25:58,992 --> 00:26:00,860
I mean, what waste.
655
00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:04,197
These tables, tarted up
like Victorian whores.
656
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:07,200
Let's remember
we are all here...
657
00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:10,737
for the--the dog society.
658
00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:13,840
He's what's important,
whatever his name is,
659
00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:15,809
not any of this.
660
00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:20,013
So that is going to be
my donation to you.
661
00:26:20,046 --> 00:26:21,414
Thank you and good night.
662
00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:23,683
Whoa!
663
00:26:23,717 --> 00:26:26,152
Uh...
664
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:31,758
- Oscar.
- Nice to see you again.
665
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,360
- It was lovely.
- It was lovely.
666
00:26:33,393 --> 00:26:34,794
And don't forget to call.
667
00:26:34,828 --> 00:26:36,196
Okay.
668
00:26:39,132 --> 00:26:41,234
Thanks so much for coming.
669
00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:42,969
Why does this always
happen to me?
670
00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:45,071
Ah!
671
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:47,974
I just feel so bad for Angela.
672
00:26:48,008 --> 00:26:50,043
Apparently,
there were some silly rumors
673
00:26:50,076 --> 00:26:52,112
going around tonight.
674
00:26:52,145 --> 00:26:54,948
We are very much in love.
675
00:26:54,981 --> 00:26:58,752
Very much in love.
676
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:01,388
So it just goes on
under here, like this?
677
00:27:01,421 --> 00:27:02,756
That's right.
678
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:03,957
- Oh, God!
- Yeah. Yeah,
679
00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:05,458
- you never get used to that.
- Wow.
680
00:27:05,492 --> 00:27:07,694
Hey, just wanted to check in,
see how you're doing.
681
00:27:07,727 --> 00:27:09,329
I am so great.
682
00:27:09,362 --> 00:27:11,931
He's great.
We're all great.
683
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,266
12 dogs.
684
00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:15,902
This is my life now.
I'm a dog nurse.
685
00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:18,071
Look at that one, though.
He's smiling.
686
00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:19,239
Yeah, he should be.
687
00:27:19,272 --> 00:27:21,241
It's his first day
without a muzzle.
688
00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:24,811
This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
689
00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:26,813
- Absolutely, it's...
- Yes.
690
00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:29,349
- Awesome.
- I'm sorry, are you guys nuts?
691
00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:32,185
He's not doing great.
He was fired.
692
00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:33,486
This is terrible.
693
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,089
This is literally
the worst thing
694
00:27:36,122 --> 00:27:38,825
that has ever happened to you,
not the best.
695
00:27:44,931 --> 00:27:46,466
You're right.
696
00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:48,134
He's right. I am a mess.
697
00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:49,903
This whole night I've been
trying to convince you guys
698
00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:51,504
that I'm fine--
I guess I thought that
699
00:27:51,538 --> 00:27:55,208
if I could convince you
that I'm fine, maybe--
700
00:27:55,241 --> 00:27:57,010
Maybe you would think it too.
701
00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:03,983
I'm sorry, uh, I--
uh, it's just, I--
702
00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:07,821
I--I don't get to be in a lot
of human conversations, so---
703
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:09,089
Okay, well, Andy, listen,
704
00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:11,191
it's okay if you don't feel
totally settled.
705
00:28:11,224 --> 00:28:12,759
This is all very fresh.
706
00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:13,860
Yeah, I mean,
admitting that you need help
707
00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,795
- is the first step.
- Yes,
708
00:28:15,829 --> 00:28:18,932
and also focusing
on the positive.
709
00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:21,001
Like, I got a lot
of good things going on.
710
00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:22,302
Yeah.
711
00:28:22,335 --> 00:28:23,436
Like that rock opera.
712
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:24,904
You could always do that,
right?
713
00:28:24,938 --> 00:28:27,874
Yeah, I do.
I have that.
714
00:28:27,907 --> 00:28:28,842
Yeah.
715
00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:30,076
You're gonna be all right.
716
00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:32,212
Mm, no.
No, he's not.
717
00:28:32,245 --> 00:28:34,481
Yes I am.
Thank you, Kev.
718
00:28:34,514 --> 00:28:36,983
You're welcome.
719
00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:40,353
Sometimes I feel like everyone
I work with is an idiot.
720
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:44,290
And by sometimes,
I mean all times.
721
00:28:44,324 --> 00:28:46,993
All the time.
722
00:28:47,027 --> 00:28:49,329
Every of the time.
723
00:28:53,867 --> 00:28:55,168
So some of us ended up
adopting those elderly dogs.
724
00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:56,403
It's been great.
725
00:28:56,436 --> 00:28:57,337
Pepper's been getting me
out of the house,
726
00:28:57,370 --> 00:28:58,905
going on runs.
727
00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:01,474
Yeah, my dog Ruby
doesn't do anything.
728
00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:05,145
She just lays there all day.
She's so chill.
729
00:29:05,178 --> 00:29:06,346
What do you feed her?
730
00:29:06,379 --> 00:29:09,983
Well, I put out Pro Bow Wow,
but she barely touches it.
731
00:29:10,016 --> 00:29:11,351
She's so dainty.
732
00:29:11,384 --> 00:29:14,187
Is she sick?
How are her poops?
733
00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:17,123
Doesn't really poop.
It's perfect.
734
00:29:17,157 --> 00:29:18,525
Nothing to pick up.
735
00:29:18,558 --> 00:29:21,261
She just kind of lies there
all day like a good girl.
736
00:29:21,294 --> 00:29:23,196
I put on the TV for her,
737
00:29:23,229 --> 00:29:26,933
but I have to prop her eyes
open so she can see it.
738
00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:29,302
- Does she smell?
- She smells horrible.
739
00:29:29,336 --> 00:29:31,137
It's unbelievable,
740
00:29:31,171 --> 00:29:33,106
but I don't want to put her
in the bath,
741
00:29:33,139 --> 00:29:35,542
'cause I'm afraid
that she'll drown.
742
00:29:37,510 --> 00:29:40,914
People seem awful interested
in you, ruby.
743
00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:43,516
Guess they're just jealous,
right?
744
00:29:43,550 --> 00:29:45,518
Yeah, that-a girl.
745
00:29:45,552 --> 00:29:47,887
That-a girl. Man, that stinks.
746
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:59,933
* *
52677
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.