All language subtitles for T.O.S.E.S08E22.Fundraiser.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,778 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 2 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,682 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...no! 3 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,784 Okay, fine. 4 00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:19,552 - Ryan? - Yeah? 5 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,121 Is something the matter? 6 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,122 Oh... 7 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,391 Yeah, I guess it's just Smokey. 8 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:27,260 I'm still processing that. 9 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:30,330 Did you not hear? 10 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,531 Smokey's dead. 11 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,867 Smokey...the bear? 12 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,602 Smokey Robinson, Pam. 13 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:38,638 He died, like, an hour ago. I guess I'm the first to know. 14 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,474 Wow, that's terrible. I really liked him. 15 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,410 Oh, you liked him? That's nice. 16 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,679 Did you "like" when he changed the course of American music, 17 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:46,813 like, two or three times? 18 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:48,815 Did you "like" that "Tracks of My Tears" 19 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,418 is maybe the last true love song ever written? 20 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,819 I'm glad you like him, Jim. 21 00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:55,155 I am completely devastated right now. 22 00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,557 Well, I second that emotion. 23 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,459 - Huh? - I know a few of his songs, 24 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:00,694 but what were his big ones? 25 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,829 Oh, God, Nellie, what wasn't his? 26 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,831 I mean, um, "Tracks of My Tears"... 27 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,367 - Yeah. - Um, God, so many, Nellie. 28 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,169 No, no, no. 29 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,237 "Tracks of My Tears" and what else? 30 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:12,205 What are some more? 31 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,307 What's one more? 32 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,310 Okay, I'm not-- I'm not playing this game, Pam. 33 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:18,244 Not today. 34 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,846 I don't think you love Smokey Robinson, 35 00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:21,348 I think you're just doing all of this 36 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,316 to prove how deep you are about music. 37 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,652 Okay, I'm sorry that I'm not a fan of Jason Mraz 38 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:26,886 or The Beatles. 39 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,221 You don't like The Beatles? 40 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,656 That's--that's not the point. 41 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,257 "Eleanor Rigby"? "Paperback Writer"? 42 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:32,359 Okay, you know, you always think you have time 43 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,727 to see these legends before they go. 44 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,328 What was I so busy doing? 45 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,330 It says here the "Smokey Robinson dead" 46 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,598 thing is a hoax. 47 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,201 It's on CNN as of two minutes ago. 48 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,571 Okay, well, that's a relief. 49 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,772 Wow, look at that. 50 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,741 Says he's actually playing State College. 51 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,209 It's only three hours away. 52 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:52,612 Oh, my God, Ryan, that's perfect! 53 00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:53,680 You have to go. 54 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,482 Tickets are 250 bucks. 55 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,484 $250 is nothing 56 00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:01,187 to the world's biggest Smokey Robinson fan. 57 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,223 Yeah. 58 00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:04,524 Who's opening? 59 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:07,394 - Paul Anka. - Paul Anka? 60 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:10,230 How can they make the smoke man play with someone like that? 61 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,198 I don't think I can see this. 62 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:13,667 Okay, you could just show up late, though. 63 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:14,768 How much is parking? Like 30 bucks? 64 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,771 That's not what Smokey would've wanted--does want. 65 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,606 "Tears of a Clown." 66 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,907 Don't call me a clown, Pam. 67 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,676 You're better than that. 68 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:36,690 * * 69 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,392 {\an8}- * And there will be a reckoning * 70 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,561 {\an8}* Of your soul * 71 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,531 {\an8}* Upon the horizon * 72 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,733 {\an8}* Upon the horizon... * 73 00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,268 {\an8}- Pam? Mm-hmm? 74 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:49,769 {\an8}I don't read fiction anymore. 75 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,404 {\an8}Can you believe that? 76 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,540 {\an8}And it's not that they're not putting out great fiction. 77 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,941 {\an8}They are. 78 00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:58,478 {\an8}I just have no appetite for it. 79 00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,612 {\an8}Looking good, R.C. 80 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:01,414 {\an8}Ugh, I hate ties. 81 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,949 {\an8}I feel like I'm being strangled, 82 00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:05,852 {\an8}like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club 83 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,721 {\an8}over on I-84. 84 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,556 {\an8}The Red Room, say? Or Dominic's? 85 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,492 {\an8}- Robert, the senator was gonna wear dark brown tonight. 86 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:15,862 {\an8}I'm sure it'll be fine. 87 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:18,565 {\an8}My husband is sponsoring a fundraiser tonight 88 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,033 {\an8}for local dog shelters. 89 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:23,370 {\an8}Robert California bought two tables for everyone here. 90 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,938 {\an8}These people were lucky to get seats, 91 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,673 {\an8}because it is gonna be a who's who 92 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,509 {\an8}of the northern 22nd district. 93 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,378 {\an8} 94 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,446 {\an8}- I don't want to alarm people, but there is a distinct chance 95 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,348 {\an8}that we're all about to be killed. 96 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,883 {\an8}- Well, as long as you don't want to alarm people. 97 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,585 {\an8}- What's going on? There is a disgruntled 98 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,454 {\an8}ex-employee sitting in his car in the parking lot. 99 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,056 {\an8}- Oh, that's Andy. He's just hanging out. 100 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,325 {\an8}- Yeah, that's how workplace tragedies always begin. 101 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,827 {\an8}A middle-aged white male "hanging out." 102 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,329 {\an8}Call the cops. 103 00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,630 {\an8}- Dwight, I don't think he's gonna hurt anybody. 104 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,798 {\an8}How do you know? 105 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:52,866 {\an8}I mean, why do you think he's there? 106 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,768 {\an8}- I don't even know what kind of weapon he has. 107 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,536 {\an8}Could be a knife, could be a gun, 108 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,005 {\an8}could be a series of guns all lined up to shoot parallel. 109 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,640 {\an8}I'm going up to the roof, 110 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,977 {\an8}and I'm gonna... bring my gym bag, just in case. 111 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,478 {\an8}- I knew this would happen. 112 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,481 {\an8}Everybody told me if I moved to America, 113 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,783 {\an8}I'd be murdered. 114 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,355 {\an8} 115 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,657 {\an8}- Hey. Hey. 116 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,459 {\an8}Just wanted to say hi 117 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,994 {\an8}and hear you say everything's normal. 118 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,662 {\an8}Maybe videotape you saying that 119 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,931 {\an8}so that everyone upstairs can see. 120 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,766 {\an8}- We think you might kill Robert. 121 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,867 {\an8}What? 122 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,002 {\an8}Because he fired you, 123 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,905 {\an8}which means apparently you're living in your car now. 124 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,640 {\an8}Guys, everything is fine. 125 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,875 {\an8}I'm just here to pick up Erin. We're going to the fundraiser. 126 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,510 {\an8}- Oh, great. Oh, great, that sounds good. 127 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:38,411 {\an8}Wait, what? 128 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,580 {\an8}You're going to the fundraiser tonight? 129 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,715 {\an8}That's gonna be weird. 130 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,383 {\an8}Why would that be weird? 131 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:46,519 {\an8}- It's gonna be super-weird. He just fired you last week. 132 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,822 {\an8}- Andy's just coming as my date. 133 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,657 {\an8}- Hey, I hear you. I hope you're right. 134 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:53,993 {\an8}It just seems like it's gonna be really... 135 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,662 {\an8}- really weird. Okay. 136 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,865 {\an8}- Come in. 137 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,368 {\an8}- You really redid Andy's office, huh? 138 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,902 {\an8}Yes, cut out the clutter. 139 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,505 {\an8}Very simple, very minimal. 140 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,941 {\an8}- Need you to sign these. We got a shipment going out. 141 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,543 {\an8}- How are things in the warehouse? 142 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,412 {\an8}- You could go downstairs and ask 'em. 143 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,882 {\an8}- The warehouse isn't downstairs. 144 00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,585 {\an8}Is it? 145 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:19,686 {\an8}Is it. 146 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,555 {\an8}Who knew, right? 147 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,025 {\an8}Ah. 148 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,727 {\an8}Tonight could be the night that Darryl and I 149 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:32,532 {\an8}go from casual work friends to actual good friends. 150 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,467 {\an8}The only thing standing in our way is 151 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,538 the contempt he seems to feel for me. 152 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,573 How did this happen? 153 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,743 How did a snooty, privileged English woman 154 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:44,911 end up in this office, 155 00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,681 while my snooty, privileged American friend 156 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,683 ended up in the parking lot? 157 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,953 Robert, the senator and I wanted to stop by. 158 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,088 - Hey, Robert. - Robert, how are you? 159 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,122 - Say hello. - Excuse me. 160 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,524 Who is watching the baby? 161 00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:58,992 You didn't use that bimbo again, did you? 162 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,994 Erin is coming here tonight. 163 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,762 Who is it? Someone you trust? 164 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,097 Is it a junkie? 165 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,565 Did you check their veins? Between their toes? 166 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,033 You are quite the interrogator. 167 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,568 We could use you in the state assembly. 168 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,704 Why would I do that? 169 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:11,771 You're a public servant. 170 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:12,872 I'm a member of the public. 171 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,208 Therefore, I am your master. 172 00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,076 Hello. 173 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,211 Did anyone order a blast from the past 174 00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,679 with a side order of sexy? 175 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,680 Hey. 176 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,681 - Hey. - Hi, Andy. 177 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,782 Oh, man, this is weird. 178 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,818 - Andrew. - Oh, uh, 179 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,821 want to shake my hand, huh? 180 00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:28,955 'Cause I want to shake your body! 181 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,060 I had you. I had you! 182 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,495 This is great. 183 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,963 You guys, I'm psyched to see you. 184 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,032 I'm really psyched. This is gonna rock. 185 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,900 You know, but not in, like, "rock." 186 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,002 Like chill rock. 187 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,937 Like Christopher Cross. 188 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,638 Wh--wha--where do I look? 189 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:48,475 It's been so long since I did one of these things. 190 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,643 Okay, all right, how-- uh, what's the question? 191 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:51,678 How am I doing? 192 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,180 Um, great. 193 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,085 So how's the talent? 194 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,187 Gray suit over there is sending a signal. 195 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,957 - Mm-hmm. - Downstairs is receiving. 196 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:07,761 Is that Gabe? 197 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,529 Ladies. 198 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,532 How come you look so dec' all the sudden? 199 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,200 Yeah, normally you look so stricken. 200 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,503 Well, I'm embarrassed. 201 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,538 I, uh, I had to give up my hair gel 202 00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,807 'cause it was giving me this angry rash on my scalp, 203 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,276 and I just gave up on this low-protein diet 204 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,878 that I was doing for eight years, 205 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:27,714 so...ladies seem to like it. 206 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,050 Plus, I'm getting, like, half as many bladder infections. 207 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,618 - Wow. - Yeah. 208 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,485 Wow. 209 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,054 You ladies look very pretty as well. 210 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,221 Thanks. 211 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,856 Why is it that things are 212 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,225 their most beautiful in the autumn of their lives? 213 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,129 You had to say that. 214 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,998 Sorry. Sorry. 215 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,566 - Thanks. - Yeah. 216 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:51,171 Creed, I just bid $20 on six jiujitsu lessons. 217 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,972 No one's raping this guy. 218 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,274 Oh, I don't want to get raped. 219 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,542 22. 220 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,043 No, it was my idea to not be raped. 221 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,545 - Well, well... - What, you think 222 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,014 jiujitsu classes cost $22? 223 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,048 If you're gonna play "guess the price," 224 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,950 you might as well try to be halfway accurate. 225 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,652 $180. 226 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:08,254 Oh. Dwight, I don't think you understand-- 227 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,690 You guess the price, you win the prize. 228 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,159 Have you never been to a Quaker fair before? 229 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,563 God. 230 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:21,634 So Dwight doesn't understand silent auctions. 231 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,938 I guess he's the stupid guy in the office, huh? 232 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,275 'Cause up till now, we didn't have one. 233 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,844 What haven't I been doing? 234 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,812 Gosh, just today, I was working on this rock opera 235 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,080 that I'm writing, although it feels more 236 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,049 like I'm receiving it than writing it. 237 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,952 Wow. Yeah, that's exciting. 238 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,286 But until you firm up the idea, 239 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,621 you might want to keep it between us. 240 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,224 The hero lives in this dystopian future, 241 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,292 and he flies around in a spaceship 242 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,661 that's shaped like a--a treble clef, 243 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,297 and he has to sing his heart out to destroy all evil. 244 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,166 Sounds like you're doing all right. 245 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,101 Uh, a little better than all right, actually. 246 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,171 Really good. 247 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,906 If anything, I feel sorry for you guys. 248 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,141 Oh. 249 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,142 And don't take this the wrong way, 250 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,644 but I mean, back and forth to work every day, 251 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,914 like worker bee drones in your metal coffins. 252 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,382 I know exactly what you mean. 253 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,117 Have you thought about getting into photography? 254 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,185 Are you kidding me? 255 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,386 'Cause I'm way into it. 256 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,021 What are you taking pictures of? 257 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,089 - Children? - Yes. 258 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,223 - Homeless people? - Yes! 259 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,858 'Cause in a way, they're more real... 260 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,361 both: Than the rest of us! 261 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,730 Oh, this guy's having a breakdown. 262 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,799 You know, Oscar, I really had no idea 263 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,200 that you were so passionate about animals. 264 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,835 - My dog Gerald is my life. - Really? 265 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,870 Well, if you want to get involved, call me. 266 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,806 This is my cell. 267 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:36,209 I'm more likely to pick up at night, 268 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,245 say, um, after 9:00. 269 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,216 Excuse me. 270 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,651 This confirms three things: 271 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,186 I'm right about the senator, 272 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,821 I still got it, 273 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,756 and poor Angela. 274 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,291 Darryl, would you like my croutons? 275 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,926 You can have as many as you like. 276 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,260 - I'm good. - Okay. 277 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,762 Well, I really didn't want to have to do this, 278 00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,097 because I love cucumber, 279 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,232 but would you like my cuke? 280 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,234 - I'm good. - Okay. 281 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,702 Oh, look what I'm doing. 282 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,804 I'm eating my salad with my dinner fork. 283 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,472 Oh, my goodness. 284 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,973 I'm like an animal in a zoo. 285 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,208 Stupid Nellie. 286 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,343 Stupid blue-collar, regular old Nellie. 287 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,045 It's just the-- 288 00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,347 salad fork is the short one. 289 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,815 You mean it's not this one? 290 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:16,983 Well, it doesn't really matter. 291 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,251 I mean, either way. 292 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,020 I mean, it's just a-- it's just a fancy rake 293 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,756 for shoveling the food down, really, isn't it, so... 294 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,291 It's better. 295 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,893 It's much better. 296 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,166 I wonder where they got the flowers. 297 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,235 Oh, that piece is so predictable. 298 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,970 Daffodils in spring. 299 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,139 I wonder what's next-- mistletoe at Christmas? 300 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,840 Yeah. 301 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,476 Oh, it says, "You're welcome to take this home." 302 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,278 Oh. 303 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,746 Sweetie, you don't want that. 304 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,182 Even in your house, it's a little much. 305 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,418 Have you ever been to our house? 306 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,886 Well, no, not exactly, 307 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,321 but I know the flats. 308 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,091 I am gonna say what everyone is afraid to say. 309 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,360 Phyllis is a bully. 310 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,430 A big, beautiful bully. 311 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,766 And she is not getting that centerpiece. 312 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,968 Step in right away, and start-- 313 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,970 Bobby? Bob-o? 314 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,173 You're a rock opera guy, right? You like rock operas. 315 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,474 - Well-- - You got to check out 316 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,309 this thing I'm working on-- it's really cool. 317 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,044 There's this character, Thomas Oregon, 318 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:21,047 and he wants to destroy all the guitars in the world, 319 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:25,185 because he realizes that music is the one thing 320 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,053 he can't control. 321 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,223 Huh, so Thomas Oregon is an evil figure? 322 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,792 Evil. 323 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,461 Although, he's humanized at the end 324 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,931 because he weeps uncontrollably and pees in his pants. 325 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:40,367 And the hero, who is that based on? 326 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,503 Me, I guess. 327 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,773 * We're flying so high we're cracking the sky * 328 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:50,477 * Gonna fly out of this storm, my girlfriend and I * 329 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,116 Hey, jabroni, show come class. 330 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,351 She's right, Andy, you're being a jabroni. 331 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,919 You're being a Thomas Oregon. 332 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,523 Uh, Andrew... 333 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,826 I think this may have been a bad idea. 334 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,529 Why don't you let me pay for you and Erin to go out 335 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,265 to a great, romantic dinner tonight? 336 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,035 Don't need you to pay for me. I'm doing just fine, thank you. 337 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,338 Why don't you quit harshing our mellow? 338 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,840 Andy, you should leave. 339 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,410 Now. 340 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,145 Excuse me, 341 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,379 I would like to purchase two seats 342 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,581 at another table, please. 343 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,550 Oh, I'm sorry, the tables are sold as complete units. 344 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,119 Then I'll take a table. 345 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,120 Okay. 346 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,122 And a high five. 347 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,358 Let's do that again. 348 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,297 Well, I just give a dollar to every charity. 349 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,199 That way, you get all the mail, all the calendars-- 350 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,034 you can't believe how much you get just for a buck. 351 00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,938 And it's also nice to know you're making a difference. 352 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,007 Jim and I give to the Red Cross. 353 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,442 Are you sure you ought to be giving? 354 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,311 I mean... With your financial situation. 355 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,913 Excuse me? 356 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,351 You ladies are as tangy as the salad dressing over there. 357 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,252 I love it. 358 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,089 Oh, yes, indeed. 359 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,624 When. 360 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,060 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 361 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,995 Forgot a few salads. 362 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,068 When. 363 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,540 When. 364 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:33,446 I stumbled into a very dramatic situation. 365 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,383 Here, let me move this so you can see him. 366 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:40,620 - Pam. Pam! - Yeah. 367 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,623 Angela's husband just hit on me. 368 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,325 - Oh, my God. - I know! 369 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,926 Wait, what? Come on. 370 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,363 We were talking about animals. 371 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,032 He gives me his cell phone number. 372 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,099 He was just dying for me to have it. 373 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,969 Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying you're not dreamy, 374 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,971 because you are, but isn't it possible 375 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,906 that he was just schmoozing a voter? 376 00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,575 Well, if you would have seen the look he gave me-- 377 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,377 he wanted to rock more than just my vote. 378 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,013 Okay. What was this look? 379 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,917 Whoa. 380 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,052 - What happened? Did he do it? - Are you-- 381 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,319 - I-- - Twice. 382 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,554 For real? 383 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,690 Okay, guys, not every glance means something, all right? 384 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,192 - Life isn't "Downton Abbey." - Life is "Downton Abbey." 385 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,193 Here's what I'm gonna do. 386 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,661 I'm gonna go over there, I'm gonna talk to him, 387 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,163 and I guarantee you, he gives out 388 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,998 his cell phone to everybody. 389 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,003 Uh, whoa. Excuse me. Excuse me. 390 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,471 What, you think this is just, like, 391 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,672 the bar or something? 392 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,607 This whole table is paid for. 393 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,112 Thank you. 394 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,683 Your own table. 395 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:48,722 That was a very generous donation, Andrew. 396 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,324 And apologies if there was, perhaps, 397 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,593 some tension back there. 398 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,996 No. It's so good to see you, Robert. 399 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,466 But we have a lot of entrées to finish, 400 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,600 so I guess we should start. 401 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,668 Do you want to-- 402 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,370 There was no tension. 403 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,471 You know, life's funny. 404 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,539 You just gotta laugh at this stuff. 405 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,575 There is a humor to it, without question. 406 00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,080 I mean, it's a little messed up, 407 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,315 what you did. 408 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,449 How is that? 409 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,184 Firing me 410 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,154 and making some chick you like the manager. 411 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,455 Look, I'm not mad. 412 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,391 I mean, we're all past it. 413 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,460 Everyone thinks it's funny. 414 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,095 But it's weird. 415 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,630 Right? At least admit it's weird. 416 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,032 I do not admit that. 417 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,433 You don't admit that. Really? 418 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,601 Wow. 419 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,369 Get a load of this guy. 420 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,772 Sticking to that old story. 421 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:39,773 Come on. 422 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,675 I'm telling the truth to the king over here. 423 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,411 I'm like a Shakespearean frickin' jester. 424 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,513 How 'bout some props? 425 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,451 Robert, do you think I could finish all of these dinners? 426 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,086 I personally don't think I could, 427 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,621 'cause I'm already full, but... 428 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,524 Robert, we're ready for you. 429 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,628 Excuse me. 430 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,230 Excused. 431 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:13,640 How much do you guys charge 432 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,142 for one full-year gym membership? 433 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,546 Thank you. 434 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,784 It's $475. 435 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,188 Like candy from a baby. 436 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,462 That's the third time you've asked me about my strategy. 437 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,830 It's called guess the price. 438 00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,199 Strategy's in the name. 439 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,634 Simplest game since touch the rock. 440 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,536 Three-time champion. 441 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,271 Almost four, but... 442 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,107 I touched the wood. 443 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,811 Hey. 444 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,214 - David Wallace? - Andy Bernard? 445 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,548 - Hey, how are you? - How you doin'? 446 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:56,683 I'm great. How you doin'? 447 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:57,684 Are you still with Dunder Mifflin? 448 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,586 No, got canned last week. 449 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,287 Oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 450 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,722 No, best thing that ever happened to me. 451 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,090 That's the attitude to have. 452 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,425 You know what? When I got canned, 453 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,693 I was lost, right? 454 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,628 I poured myself into this ridiculous 455 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,697 vacuum for toys called "Suck It." 456 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,099 - Yikes. - Yeah, exactly, right? 457 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,601 Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the U.S. Military 458 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:18,571 bought the patent from me for $20 million. 459 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,306 Point is, forget those guys. 460 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,441 Okay? Move on. 461 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,509 Move on? 462 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,743 I'm partying with 'em tonight. 463 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,211 - Really? - Yeah. 464 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,414 Sounds a little awkward to me. 465 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,515 Huh. 466 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,383 I don't even know if I, uh... 467 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,319 would've come if I knew Dunder Mifflin was here. 468 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,322 Anyway, hey, please, be sure to tell everyone 469 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,358 that I sold Suck It for a ton of money. 470 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,727 Good to see you, Andy. 471 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:49,235 Call me a layman, but I wish there was some real food here. 472 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,671 You know, like, um, hamburgers, 473 00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:54,774 or...um, Oreos, 474 00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,911 or a pizza pie, or, um... 475 00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,612 what's another food that we like? 476 00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:00,880 Tacos. 477 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,583 What I wouldn't give for a big... 478 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,454 - mess of tacos right now. - Tacos. 479 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,222 I can go get us some tacos. 480 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,190 Brilliant. 481 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,658 If you loan me some money. 482 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,828 Yes, I can do that. 483 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:19,733 For, um, for two tacos, we probably need about, 484 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,636 what, twen--$20, or...25? 20-- 485 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,772 - 30. - $30, yes. 486 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,407 - 30. - Yeah, um... 487 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,808 I've never eaten a taco. 488 00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:31,177 I'm not entirely sure what they are. 489 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,645 As long as they're not slimy, 490 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:35,815 and please, God, don't let them have eyes. 491 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,752 Thank you very much. 492 00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:41,821 - So? - Boom. 493 00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:45,225 This is interesting. 494 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,494 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - What is interesting? 495 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,662 I just proved that he gives his cell out to everybody. 496 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,431 - Mm... - Or you proved 497 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,732 that he thinks your gay. 498 00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:53,900 He doesn't think Jim is gay. 499 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,769 A gay man would not leave the house wearing those shoes. 500 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:56,703 Well, a gay man wouldn't leave the store 501 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,704 wearing those shoes. 502 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,805 Oh. 503 00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,806 Hey, you bought me these shoes. 504 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,243 Wait a second. Where's the centerpiece? 505 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,445 I knew it was bothering you, so I threw it in the garbage. 506 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,279 Really, Phyllis? 507 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,248 You didn't just put it in your car? 508 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,583 - Nope. - Which garbage? 509 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,419 It's not there anymore. A man emptied the garbage 510 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,688 into a bigger garbage, and then I heard someone say 511 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,289 they were locking the garbage. 512 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,591 You are out of control, Phyllis. 513 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,859 Come on, sweetie. 514 00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,795 We both knew how this was gonna end. 515 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,901 Before we bring out our guest of honor tonight, 516 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:31,838 we are very proud to introduce a great philanthropist 517 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:36,276 and a great guy-- Robert California. 518 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,382 Thank you. 519 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,517 Why do we love dogs? 520 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,853 Want me to tell you why? 521 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,688 There is no answer. 522 00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:52,826 Our love for them confounds reason. 523 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,327 Can you believe this guy? 524 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:57,030 State Senator Robert Lipton loves dogs. 525 00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,900 He asked me if I love dogs. 526 00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,669 You know what I said? 527 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,737 Yes. 528 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,907 Not a joke. That w-- that was not even a joke. 529 00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:11,378 Bella here was a therapy dog for ten years. 530 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,714 When her owner passed away, she came to this organization 531 00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:19,986 for placement, but people don't often adopt older dogs, 532 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:26,693 so Bella and 11 heroes like her are being cared for 533 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,895 by our generous volunteers, 534 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:32,499 because frankly, nobody else will. 535 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,034 I will. 536 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:37,504 I will take all of those dogs. 537 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,839 - Andy, that's very kind, but-- - No, no, no, no, no. 538 00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:43,476 This guy can talk and talk all he wants, 539 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:45,478 - but it's not that complicated. - Andy, 540 00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,746 - why don't we discuss this-- - No, no, no, no. 541 00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:49,416 It's about being there for someone 542 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,318 after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. 543 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,421 Hello, everyone, I'm Andy Bernard, 544 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:58,591 and I am going to take that bitch home. 545 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,396 That is a female dog reference. 546 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,832 "This bitch understands loyalty." 547 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,367 Sassy human reference. 548 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,703 Thank you. I will take Bella. 549 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,571 - Take-- - Aw. 550 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,807 And every single one of her friends. 551 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,010 Oh, God. 552 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:23,983 He's ruining our event! 553 00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:26,753 Honey, you think I can't handle this? 554 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,522 I'm a state senator. 555 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:30,890 Mr. Bernard? 556 00:21:30,924 --> 00:21:32,425 - Please, this way, okay? - Hope you all 557 00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:33,493 - learned something. - Okay. 558 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,633 So you're adopting 12 special needs dogs. 559 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:41,935 Yep. 560 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,136 And this strikes you as something other 561 00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:44,704 than a desperate cry for attention. 562 00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:47,607 I think I know when I'm desperately crying. 563 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,942 Well... 564 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,643 good for you. 565 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:53,079 Why don't you let one of our volunteers 566 00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:54,848 introduce you to your new family? 567 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,983 Great. 568 00:21:57,017 --> 00:21:58,084 Huey's gonna need this medication 569 00:21:58,118 --> 00:21:59,753 once every 90 minutes. 570 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:01,821 You can administer it orally, but he's gonna puke it up, 571 00:22:01,855 --> 00:22:03,623 so other end's best. 572 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,760 Don't split up Daisy and Mojo, because Daisy'll start to, uh, 573 00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:09,629 I was gonna say "bark," but it's more of a scream. 574 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,632 I'm so ready to love all of these animals. 575 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,068 This one's even bonding with me already. 576 00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:16,903 I know, Kenny's a therapy dog. 577 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,572 He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis. 578 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,576 Stupid dog. 579 00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,879 Well, if you would like to talk about this some more, 580 00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:28,848 my door is always open, so here is my office number 581 00:22:28,882 --> 00:22:30,550 - and my cell number. - Thank you. 582 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,719 Okay. 583 00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,421 Boom. Got his digits. 584 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,622 You owe me a ChapStick. 585 00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,860 Well, looks like he really did 586 00:22:40,894 --> 00:22:42,028 just want to talk about the issues. 587 00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:43,430 I'm sorry, Oscar. 588 00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,631 Oh, sorry about what? 589 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,833 There's nothing to be sorry about here. 590 00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,668 No, I'm certainly not disappointed 591 00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,204 that Angela's husband wasn't hitting on me. 592 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,973 I'd have to be a monster to root for that. 593 00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:57,844 A lonely, aging monster. 594 00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,679 Tacos were on sale. 595 00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:02,148 Eight for $3. 596 00:23:02,182 --> 00:23:05,485 Oh, great. 597 00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,554 Okay. Oh. 598 00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:11,024 - Oh. Oh--oh, these tacos. Right. - Mm-hmm. 599 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:12,959 Mmm. 600 00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:16,062 Uh, okay. 601 00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:24,738 Mmm. Mmm. 602 00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:28,608 Oh, huh. 603 00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,877 Mmm. 604 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,946 Well, that's hit the spot. 605 00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:35,849 Um, very savory. 606 00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:37,017 Uh-- 607 00:23:37,050 --> 00:23:38,752 What do you do with the crispy holder? 608 00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:40,520 Oh. Here. Let's try this again. 609 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:42,589 Here, don't put your finger in--yeah. 610 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:44,057 Just hold it like that. Hold it to the side. 611 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,992 - Right. - Hold it to the side. 612 00:23:46,026 --> 00:23:47,160 - Lean it to the side. - This way? 613 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,962 Look at me. Like this. 614 00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:51,131 She's trying. 615 00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:53,600 The winner of the three-day trip 616 00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:56,903 to the top of the Skytop Lodge is Dwight Shrute. 617 00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,707 Yes! 618 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:01,908 Thank you. 619 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:07,013 The year-long membership to Scranton Bikram Yoga is... 620 00:24:07,047 --> 00:24:08,148 Dwight Shrute. 621 00:24:08,181 --> 00:24:09,883 Oh, yes! 622 00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:12,752 Yeah! 623 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:16,122 A one-hour appointment with the Kissing Magician 624 00:24:16,156 --> 00:24:18,692 goes to Dwight Shrute. 625 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:22,028 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, oh, yeah! 626 00:24:22,062 --> 00:24:23,697 Well, 627 00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:26,533 I think I can save us all some time. 628 00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:30,203 Uh, Dwight Shrute has won every single item here. 629 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:31,871 Thank you very much! 630 00:24:31,905 --> 00:24:35,141 All I had to do was look up the prices, idiots! 631 00:24:35,175 --> 00:24:37,577 - Suck it! - Well, Dwight, yes, 632 00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,713 you certainly are a record-breaker. 633 00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:41,548 Your donation 634 00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:43,683 is the largest we've ever received, 635 00:24:43,717 --> 00:24:47,087 at over $34,000. 636 00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:55,695 Speech! 637 00:24:55,729 --> 00:24:56,930 Speech. 638 00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:57,997 No, speech. 639 00:24:58,031 --> 00:24:59,099 Speech. 640 00:25:12,212 --> 00:25:13,947 Thank you. 641 00:25:15,382 --> 00:25:18,118 Wow, I can't tell you... 642 00:25:19,252 --> 00:25:21,087 What an honor it is 643 00:25:21,121 --> 00:25:25,058 to support this...thing. 644 00:25:25,091 --> 00:25:26,626 And obviously, that amount of money 645 00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:29,896 is no concern to me whatsoever. 646 00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:34,801 But I want to ask you something. 647 00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:39,873 When did it become all about the money? 648 00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:44,277 When did it become about the flower arrangements 649 00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:47,313 and the white wine spritzers, hmm? 650 00:25:47,347 --> 00:25:49,816 And all the dinner rolls. 651 00:25:49,849 --> 00:25:51,785 You people should be ashamed of yourselves. 652 00:25:51,818 --> 00:25:54,320 How many courses did we have tonight? 653 00:25:54,354 --> 00:25:58,958 Two? Three, maybe, if you chose the pudding. 654 00:25:58,992 --> 00:26:00,860 I mean, what waste. 655 00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:04,197 These tables, tarted up like Victorian whores. 656 00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:07,200 Let's remember we are all here... 657 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:10,737 for the--the dog society. 658 00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:13,840 He's what's important, whatever his name is, 659 00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:15,809 not any of this. 660 00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:20,013 So that is going to be my donation to you. 661 00:26:20,046 --> 00:26:21,414 Thank you and good night. 662 00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:23,683 Whoa! 663 00:26:23,717 --> 00:26:26,152 Uh... 664 00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:31,758 - Oscar. - Nice to see you again. 665 00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:33,360 - It was lovely. - It was lovely. 666 00:26:33,393 --> 00:26:34,794 And don't forget to call. 667 00:26:34,828 --> 00:26:36,196 Okay. 668 00:26:39,132 --> 00:26:41,234 Thanks so much for coming. 669 00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:42,969 Why does this always happen to me? 670 00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:45,071 Ah! 671 00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:47,974 I just feel so bad for Angela. 672 00:26:48,008 --> 00:26:50,043 Apparently, there were some silly rumors 673 00:26:50,076 --> 00:26:52,112 going around tonight. 674 00:26:52,145 --> 00:26:54,948 We are very much in love. 675 00:26:54,981 --> 00:26:58,752 Very much in love. 676 00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:01,388 So it just goes on under here, like this? 677 00:27:01,421 --> 00:27:02,756 That's right. 678 00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:03,957 - Oh, God! - Yeah. Yeah, 679 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:05,458 - you never get used to that. - Wow. 680 00:27:05,492 --> 00:27:07,694 Hey, just wanted to check in, see how you're doing. 681 00:27:07,727 --> 00:27:09,329 I am so great. 682 00:27:09,362 --> 00:27:11,931 He's great. We're all great. 683 00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,266 12 dogs. 684 00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:15,902 This is my life now. I'm a dog nurse. 685 00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:18,071 Look at that one, though. He's smiling. 686 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:19,239 Yeah, he should be. 687 00:27:19,272 --> 00:27:21,241 It's his first day without a muzzle. 688 00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:24,811 This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. 689 00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:26,813 - Absolutely, it's... - Yes. 690 00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:29,349 - Awesome. - I'm sorry, are you guys nuts? 691 00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:32,185 He's not doing great. He was fired. 692 00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:33,486 This is terrible. 693 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,089 This is literally the worst thing 694 00:27:36,122 --> 00:27:38,825 that has ever happened to you, not the best. 695 00:27:44,931 --> 00:27:46,466 You're right. 696 00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:48,134 He's right. I am a mess. 697 00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:49,903 This whole night I've been trying to convince you guys 698 00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:51,504 that I'm fine-- I guess I thought that 699 00:27:51,538 --> 00:27:55,208 if I could convince you that I'm fine, maybe-- 700 00:27:55,241 --> 00:27:57,010 Maybe you would think it too. 701 00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:03,983 I'm sorry, uh, I-- uh, it's just, I-- 702 00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:07,821 I--I don't get to be in a lot of human conversations, so--- 703 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:09,089 Okay, well, Andy, listen, 704 00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:11,191 it's okay if you don't feel totally settled. 705 00:28:11,224 --> 00:28:12,759 This is all very fresh. 706 00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:13,860 Yeah, I mean, admitting that you need help 707 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,795 - is the first step. - Yes, 708 00:28:15,829 --> 00:28:18,932 and also focusing on the positive. 709 00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:21,001 Like, I got a lot of good things going on. 710 00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:22,302 Yeah. 711 00:28:22,335 --> 00:28:23,436 Like that rock opera. 712 00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:24,904 You could always do that, right? 713 00:28:24,938 --> 00:28:27,874 Yeah, I do. I have that. 714 00:28:27,907 --> 00:28:28,842 Yeah. 715 00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:30,076 You're gonna be all right. 716 00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:32,212 Mm, no. No, he's not. 717 00:28:32,245 --> 00:28:34,481 Yes I am. Thank you, Kev. 718 00:28:34,514 --> 00:28:36,983 You're welcome. 719 00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:40,353 Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. 720 00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:44,290 And by sometimes, I mean all times. 721 00:28:44,324 --> 00:28:46,993 All the time. 722 00:28:47,027 --> 00:28:49,329 Every of the time. 723 00:28:53,867 --> 00:28:55,168 So some of us ended up adopting those elderly dogs. 724 00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:56,403 It's been great. 725 00:28:56,436 --> 00:28:57,337 Pepper's been getting me out of the house, 726 00:28:57,370 --> 00:28:58,905 going on runs. 727 00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:01,474 Yeah, my dog Ruby doesn't do anything. 728 00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:05,145 She just lays there all day. She's so chill. 729 00:29:05,178 --> 00:29:06,346 What do you feed her? 730 00:29:06,379 --> 00:29:09,983 Well, I put out Pro Bow Wow, but she barely touches it. 731 00:29:10,016 --> 00:29:11,351 She's so dainty. 732 00:29:11,384 --> 00:29:14,187 Is she sick? How are her poops? 733 00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:17,123 Doesn't really poop. It's perfect. 734 00:29:17,157 --> 00:29:18,525 Nothing to pick up. 735 00:29:18,558 --> 00:29:21,261 She just kind of lies there all day like a good girl. 736 00:29:21,294 --> 00:29:23,196 I put on the TV for her, 737 00:29:23,229 --> 00:29:26,933 but I have to prop her eyes open so she can see it. 738 00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:29,302 - Does she smell? - She smells horrible. 739 00:29:29,336 --> 00:29:31,137 It's unbelievable, 740 00:29:31,171 --> 00:29:33,106 but I don't want to put her in the bath, 741 00:29:33,139 --> 00:29:35,542 'cause I'm afraid that she'll drown. 742 00:29:37,510 --> 00:29:40,914 People seem awful interested in you, ruby. 743 00:29:40,947 --> 00:29:43,516 Guess they're just jealous, right? 744 00:29:43,550 --> 00:29:45,518 Yeah, that-a girl. 745 00:29:45,552 --> 00:29:47,887 That-a girl. Man, that stinks. 746 00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:59,933 * * 52677

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