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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:09,843 Hey, Jim. 2 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,644 Stanley's back from the hospital today. 3 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,547 - Can you sign his card? - Oh, great. 4 00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,816 "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy 5 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,786 with a moustachectomy." 6 00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:21,221 Oh, that's not good. 7 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:23,156 Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious. 8 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,758 It's nice. It's funny. 9 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:26,326 It mentions his tonsillectomy 10 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,794 and makes a funny little joke about his moustache. 11 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,662 Stanley doesn't have a moustache. 12 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:32,565 Yeah, he does. 13 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:33,867 Pam, hit the brakes. 14 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,870 Stanley does not have a moustache. 15 00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:39,706 I misspoke. I'm--not sure... 16 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,408 I think he has one, now that-- 17 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,842 I think he has a moustache. 18 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,878 Okay. Phyllis sits across from him every day. 19 00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,646 Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not? 20 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,482 Ooh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't. 21 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:50,784 Phyllis, what are you talking-- 22 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,886 the whole card depends on this! 23 00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,821 Kevin, does Stanley have a moustache? Go. 24 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:57,857 Okay, I'm picturing him. 25 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,161 Now I'm asking him if he has a moustache. 26 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,730 Guys, he's not answering. 27 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,532 Okay. The man's worked here for 25 years. 28 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,634 How can none of us picture his face? 29 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,202 'Cause we come here to do our jobs. 30 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,137 We don't stick our noses in other people's business. 31 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:14,174 Okay. Which one of these looks more right? 32 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:15,842 Neither of those looks like any person 33 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,310 that has ever existed or been dreamt of 34 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,212 in the history of human insanity. 35 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,314 That said, the one on the left. 36 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,516 Guys, that's the elevator. 37 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,618 - What if it's him? - Okay, quick. 38 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,220 Who says moustache? 39 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:29,489 Yep. 40 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,624 Who says no moustache? 41 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:39,733 Ah! Ha ha ha! 42 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,534 - Oh, man! - Hey! 43 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:42,602 - He does have one. - Yes! 44 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,373 Welcome back, Stanley. 45 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,174 They didn't remember if I have a moustache. 46 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,243 How could they not remember that I... 47 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:53,747 Do have a moustache? 48 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,816 {\an8} 49 00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:04,157 {\an8}* * 50 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,782 {\an8}- "Good morning, Robert," says no one, 51 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,685 {\an8}because our receptionist is in Florida. 52 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,225 {\an8} Pam! 53 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,627 {\an8}Oh! 54 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,862 {\an8}- Is this a video conference you're having with... 55 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,398 {\an8}"Drake, featuring Swizz Beatz"? 56 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,934 {\an8}- Um, no, I was just, um, just having a cup of coffee, 57 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:48,968 {\an8}kind of warming up for the day. 58 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,971 {\an8}- People, you should come to work already warm, 59 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,774 {\an8}revved up, and ready to go. 60 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,243 {\an8}Your caffeine should be digested, 61 00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:00,480 {\an8}your McWhatevers ingested. 62 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,415 {\an8}9:00 to 10:00 a.m. 63 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,652 {\an8}is the most productive potential that a human being-- 64 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,820 {\an8}- Sorry, sorry, everyone, I'm late! 65 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,289 {\an8}But you are all here, 66 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,458 {\an8}so no harm done at all by my lateness. 67 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,693 {\an8}- Nellie, really, 9:50? 68 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,328 {\an8}Oh, here's what happened. 69 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,031 {\an8}7:46, my alarm clock goes off. 70 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,699 {\an8}I hear it. Whack the snooze. 71 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,568 {\an8}- Ah. Nine minutes. 72 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,470 {\an8}Bzzz! Off it goes again. 73 00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:24,738 {\an8}Whack! 74 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,873 {\an8}Seven more times I did that. 75 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,275 {\an8}Bzzz--whack. Bzzz--whack! 76 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,745 {\an8}By the time I got up, it was ten minutes to go. 77 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,848 {\an8}No willpower. That is my curse! 78 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,416 {\an8}- I've never believed willpower 79 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,284 {\an8}was very important in a woman. 80 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,586 {\an8}Ah ha! 81 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,988 {\an8} 82 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,724 {\an8}Andy took off to get Erin. 83 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,761 {\an8}Nellie showed up to take Andy's job. 84 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,330 {\an8}Robert has a crush on Nellie. 85 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:53,600 {\an8}And who's selling paper? Well, that would be nobody. 86 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,935 {\an8}- I don't think you would have shown up to work 87 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,405 {\an8}nearly an hour late for no reason. 88 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,407 {\an8}- Oh, I assure you, I would have done. 89 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,542 {\an8}I did, and I will keep doing it. 90 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,744 {\an8}- No, no, no, no. There's something going on. 91 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,879 {\an8}Some stress in your life. 92 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,914 {\an8}Well, yes, uh... 93 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:11,951 {\an8}there is the whole moving to Scranton nonsense. 94 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,988 30 boxes arrived yesterday from England, 95 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,790 and two trunks from Florida. 96 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,958 Then I have to move into my apartment 97 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,595 in this dreadful, God knows where it is 98 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,030 backwater suburb of a suburb, 99 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,632 and I mean, no offense, 100 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,768 but are there a lot of Irish people living around here? 101 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,503 - Yes. - Yes. 102 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:31,771 Ugh! I hate that! 103 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:32,939 No offense. 104 00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,607 - None taken. - Actually, Nellie, 105 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,910 this monologue you're delivering is very offensive. 106 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,745 Oh! Ay, caramba! 107 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,914 The natives are getting restless! 108 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,049 - Who's a native? - Uh, excuse me. 109 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,051 The tone here is getting quite hostile. 110 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,986 I would appreciate it if you would keep that stuff 111 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,788 on the basketball court. 112 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,890 - Oh... - Okay. Okay. 113 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,992 If you'd let me finish-- 114 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,495 or the squash court, 115 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,864 or the Supreme Court. 116 00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,599 - Hmm? - Nellie. 117 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,001 Yes, Robert! 118 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:05,005 You're clearly under a lot of...stress 119 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,074 with the moving and the work situation 120 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,410 - you've found yourself in. - Yes. 121 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:11,945 Let's help her out, shall we? 122 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,048 Go above and beyond today 123 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:19,953 to show her some of that warm Scranton hospitality. 124 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,888 Jim, Dwight. 125 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:23,823 Take the day. Help Nellie 126 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,726 move those boxes into her new place. 127 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,028 Why Jim? 128 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,864 The rest of you, let's throw a party 129 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:31,965 at the end of the day 130 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,934 to welcome the newest member of our little community. 131 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,603 I'm sorry. 132 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,538 We're throwing a party for someone 133 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:39,906 because they're being horrible? 134 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,574 I'm sorry. We're taking work time 135 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:42,842 to move someone's personal belongings 136 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,843 into their new apartment. 137 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,945 I'm still not sure why this woman is even here. 138 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,747 Why is she here? 139 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:51,117 * Two crazy kids on the journey of life * 140 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:54,621 * Going to Pennsylvania * 141 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:57,424 On the road with my new girlfriend. 142 00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,859 But first, a small pit stop 143 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,594 to break up with my current girlfriend 144 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:05,131 who is at her parents' cabin in Southern Pennsylvania. 145 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,499 Oh. That must be nice. 146 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,835 Mm-hmm. It's a beautiful place. 147 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,870 Great place to let her down easy. 148 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,773 Oh, no, no, I mean that must be nice to have parents. 149 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,476 Oh. Hmm. 150 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:19,179 * Time to have a little kiss * 151 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,014 - No. - Mm. Sorry. 152 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,216 Right. No kisses till the breakup is official. 153 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,718 - Yes. - I believe in that. 154 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,553 - Yes. So do I. - I think that's important. 155 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,188 That is important. Bummer...but important. 156 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,923 - Important. - Mm-hmm. 157 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,203 Don't put the boxes down. 158 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,472 I wanna get to know my potential neighbors. 159 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:46,940 Don't put the boxes down? 160 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,509 No, I wanna get to know the building. 161 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,778 I mean, it would be a shame to move all this stuff in 162 00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,713 and then move it all out. 163 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,519 Are you an abortionist? 164 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,488 You see these news stories from America-- 165 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,757 everyone's firebombing abortionists. 166 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,992 Go ahead; it's a free country, all of it. 167 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:09,029 No opinion on abortion or firebombing. 168 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,563 Just not in my building. 169 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,866 Kay? Thanks, bye! 170 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,535 I can't believe he's making us throw a party for her. 171 00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:16,436 I know, right? 172 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,138 She's always late. She's always rude. 173 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,006 It kinda makes me want to throw a really bad party. 174 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,809 - Yeah. - On purpose. 175 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,577 Phyllis! 176 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,279 We should do it 177 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:27,914 right here in the break room. 178 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,017 Order carrot cake. 179 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,687 Sounds delicious. 180 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,289 And I'm not talking about the cake. 181 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,094 He's talking about the revenge. 182 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,029 Pam, you should make those cookies 183 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,932 that you make--what-- 184 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,600 She doesn't know. 185 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,137 And Jessica, just so you know, 186 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,605 this is way more about my love for Erin 187 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,607 than anything wrong with you. 188 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,976 Well, Andy, I'm upset, but... 189 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,545 you did this in the best way possible, 190 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,581 and I knew you as a lover... 191 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,717 and I'll remember you as a gentleman. 192 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,720 Okay. That was one minute and ten seconds. 193 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,255 Consider it nailed. 194 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,590 I think we should try it again. 195 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:13,193 This time, worst-case scenario. 196 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:16,296 Yes, like the coffee maker broke in the cabin, 197 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,331 and Jess and her parents are both feeling crabby... 198 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,733 Mm-hmm. 199 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:20,600 You know what? 200 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:22,335 Even if that leads to them calling me 201 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:25,972 a little you-know-what or a darn so-and-so, 202 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,140 I'll just take it, because at least 203 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,641 I'll be your so-and-so. 204 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,245 I really hope you never break up with me, 205 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:35,048 but I'm almost sad 'cause you're so good at it. 206 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,284 Okay, here we go. Jessica, 207 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,120 I'm really sorry. I just need you to know-- 208 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,287 What? 209 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,289 I just need you to know-- 210 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,826 What is it? I didn't sleep well last night. 211 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,332 Jim, you are bending with your knees again. 212 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,967 I told you, I don't want you to do that. 213 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,736 Oh, are we afraid of throwing out your back, huh? 214 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,905 So you won't be able to play catch with your son? 215 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,174 Actually, that's exactly what I'm worried about. 216 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,709 - Oh, man up! - Suck it up! 217 00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,044 Watch this. 218 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,945 Ugh! 219 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,781 - Ow. - Nellie, that reminds me. 220 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,215 Do you want this chair in the bedroom? 221 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,283 'cause to be honest, I don't think 222 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,317 it's gonna fit through the door. 223 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,053 Don't listen to Jim. 224 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,654 Have you ever seen him play Tetris? 225 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,790 "Oh, I think I'll just use this line horizontally. 226 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,259 Oh, I had no idea what a gift this line is." 227 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,228 - That was one time-- - I will get the chair in. 228 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,097 Watch the great Schrutini work his magic. 229 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,166 Oh, no. Really? Magic? 230 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,801 No, no, no. Let's not go there. 231 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:31,805 No, nothing is more repellant than magicians. 232 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,674 Bunch of grown men waving wands, 233 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,743 pulling bunnies out of body crevices. 234 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,279 Magicians are repulsive. Next topic. 235 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,315 Excuse me, one second. 236 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,317 - Hi. - Hey, what's up? 237 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,986 Ah, nothing, just hauling some cube with Dwight. 238 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,388 Haulin' cube! 239 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,956 That's moving boxes. 240 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,958 We just came up with the term to make it sound cooler. 241 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,793 - So we're planning this party for Nellie, 242 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,329 and we're gonna make it really bad. 243 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,764 Sounds like every other party. 244 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,866 No. We're gonna make it like a prank. 245 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:03,036 Like order bad food, give her this passive-aggressive card. 246 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,105 Oh! Hire a magician. 247 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,073 - What? - Trust me. 248 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,242 - Okay. 249 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,282 Oh. 250 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,917 Wow. There's a lot of cars here. 251 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,786 This is just weird. 252 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,023 Andy! 253 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,058 Hey, what are you doing here? 254 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,693 Hey, Lauren. Look at you. 255 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,728 Well, I know. Look at me. 256 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,730 I was just on my way back from this business trip, 257 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,132 thought I'd stop and say hi to Jessica. 258 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,400 Aww! 259 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,036 Why is Erin with me? That's a great question. 260 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,470 She is my coworker, 261 00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:40,874 and she needed a ride because she totaled her car. 262 00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,275 Oh. God. 263 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,977 So I'm Erin. Hi. 264 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,912 - Yep. This is Erin. - Nice to meet you. 265 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,250 Well, Jess went out for a run, 266 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,985 but she'll be back soon. 267 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:53,186 - Mm-hmm. - Hey, ladies. 268 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,922 Andy's here. 269 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:59,292 Okay, Andy, that is a bachelorette party, 270 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,428 this is Jessica's friends, 271 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,296 an they've been drinking during the daytime. 272 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,465 Should we go? 273 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,300 You know, we had such a quick window to make this work, 274 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,235 I think we should probably just-- 275 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,770 Oh, Jess! 276 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,173 Look who stopped by after his business trip. 277 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:16,042 Andy! Hey! 278 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,044 - Hey! - Hey. 279 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,180 How are you? Mwah. 280 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,449 - Great. - Cool. 281 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,085 Hey, Roberta, Heidi, 282 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,253 Kenny, Megan L, Megan R, 283 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,089 Miss Thang. 284 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,990 Hey, Andy. 285 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,392 Erin, come in. 286 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,526 Oh, that's okay, I'll wait in the car. 287 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,261 No, no, no, I insist. 288 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,463 - Yeah? - Come on, come on. 289 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,366 Great. 290 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,070 I am just stepping out. 291 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,239 There's a bloke in unit 5 292 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,074 who's on the sex offenders registry. 293 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,377 I'm just gonna check out his side of the story. 294 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,945 We'll be here moving boxes. 295 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,047 Or schlepping them, as the local Jews like to say. 296 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,483 Yikes. 297 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,451 I wonder if king-sized sheets 298 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,420 are called presidential-sized in England. 299 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,223 I really should have a Tweeter account. 300 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,525 Yes, you should. 301 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,062 Ooh! 302 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:11,264 "Nellie, don't open, stupid. Love, Nellie." 303 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,534 - I have to see these shoes. - I doubt that they're sh-- 304 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,870 Whoa. 305 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,408 Who's this guy? 306 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,376 Here's the two of them taking a hike. 307 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,278 I'm guessing he's some kind of friend. 308 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,280 Boyfriend. 309 00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,882 Here's the two of them kissing at a beach 310 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,584 and kissing at the Eiffel Tower. 311 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,187 I'm guessing he's some kind of close romantic friend. 312 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,522 Like a boyfriend? 313 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,391 - You read my mind. - Yeah. 314 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,561 Whoa. Here's one with his face whited out. 315 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,863 Hmm. Maybe someone threw a pie in his face. 316 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,965 New theory--he's a hated Italian politician. 317 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,534 Better theory-- this is her ex-boyfriend, 318 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,136 and they went through some kind of painful breakup. 319 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,504 - Oh, Nellie. - Oh. 320 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,407 I'm so sorry. We were just... 321 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,543 I see you've discovered Benjamin. 322 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,846 That's what I call my box full of photos of Henry. 323 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,581 - Why not call... - Shh! 324 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,254 God. We owned this flat together. 325 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,990 Then one morning, just like that, he was gone. 326 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,426 He ran off with the waitress at our favorite restaurant. 327 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,030 That's awful. 328 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,399 - What kind of restaurant? - Dwight. 329 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,267 I couldn't afford the flat myself. 330 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,969 So I sold it at a loss. 331 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,405 Ah, but what's ten years of bliss down the drain 332 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,374 compared with the thrill of starting over 333 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,409 with nothing and no one? 334 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,610 I'm so sorry. 335 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,445 These must be very painful memories. 336 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,114 If it would help you to forget, 337 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:38,284 I could hit you in the brain stem with this candle stick. 338 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,519 Thank you. 339 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,321 No. 340 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,190 Jim, Dwight, please... 341 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,293 Don't tell anyone about this. 342 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,496 No, no. Of course. 343 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,465 Just one quick question. 344 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,001 Was this, um, Halloween or... 345 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,936 No. 346 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,506 That's the most embarrassing thing of all of this. 347 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,241 What kind of fool gets her heart broken 348 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,176 by a bloody stage magician? 349 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:08,048 You guys, we serve the carrot cake with orange juice. 350 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,017 My mouth is puckering just thinking about it. 351 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,952 But you know, none of these really seem mean enough. 352 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,521 I mean, can we put some soda cans 353 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,456 - in a pillowcase and... - I got one. 354 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,925 Let's pretend that we thought it was her birthday 355 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,227 and get her a cake with a few too many candles on it. 356 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,363 Like 49. 357 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,032 Pam! That is brilliant! 358 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,471 This is new. Since when are we a geisha? 359 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,640 What the-- 360 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,309 Hey, Jim. 361 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,345 Oh, my gosh, you're gonna be so proud of me. 362 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,946 Hey, you know what, Pam? 363 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,715 I was thinking maybe we should change course here. 364 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:42,949 Let's give up on all this mean stuff. 365 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,118 What? No! No, I just had 366 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,554 this brilliant idea-- everyone loved it. 367 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,489 You don't have a copyright on pranks. 368 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,458 I might be better at this than you. 369 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,560 - No, that's not what I-- - Jim, could you give us a hand? 370 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,061 Absolutely. Yeah. 371 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,629 Call it off, Pam. Call it off, okay? 372 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,331 It's way more complicated than you think. 373 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,400 Cancel the magician. Trust me. 374 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,701 Oh. O-okay. 375 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,636 Okay, I will. 376 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,276 - Pam, we have a great idea. - Listen to this. 377 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,012 We're gonna have the fluorescent lights flickering. 378 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,413 It's gonna make everyone sick. 379 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,016 - Or what if... - Okay. 380 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,584 We discuss... 381 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:20,553 The idea of doing the party 382 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,654 totally normal? 383 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,990 Like...not mean. 384 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,292 Just a regular party. 385 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,361 Not mean. 386 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,195 I knew she'd crack! 387 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,398 I wanted to leave you out, you know. 388 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,599 We're in far too deep. 389 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,267 We can't change course at this point. 390 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,169 What are you talking about? Of course we can. 391 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,671 What I mean to say is we don't want to. 392 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,039 Toots, we're not stopping this train, 393 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,340 so get off the tracks. 394 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,343 So I said to myself, "Nellie, 395 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:47,447 you are a successful, beautiful woman..." 396 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,682 Mm-hmm. 397 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,583 "I mean, you really are simply stunning." 398 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,118 Mm-hmm! 399 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:55,321 I mean, I am the best-looking 400 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:58,591 real-life person I've seen in about five years. 401 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,427 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 402 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,162 I mean, I'm probably 403 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,531 the most desirable non-celebrity. 404 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,066 Yep, I'd go with that. 405 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,168 All right, then, let's get going! 406 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,736 All right! Oh, you know what, though? 407 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,338 A house really isn't a home 408 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,773 till we've made some memories here, some conversations. 409 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,809 So let's sit back down, and let's make some. 410 00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,310 No, we've got work to do back at work. 411 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,212 Okay, well, I think British Idol 412 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,748 is worse than American Idol. Thoughts? 413 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,616 I wouldn't know, I don't go 414 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,318 for all that cheesy reality stuff. 415 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,753 - Okay. - More of a Survivorfan. 416 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,356 Right, well, uh, I think that cricket 417 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,058 is a stupid version of baseball. 418 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:35,428 Everything is a stupid version of something. 419 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,430 A bike is a stupid car. 420 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:40,200 A baby is a stupid adult. 421 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,635 Come back to the office. I've got a list. 422 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,371 - Nellie's Stupids. - Wuh-- 423 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,740 Would you mind giving me a piggyback on the way down? 424 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,575 Piggyback? Piggyback is a stupid version 425 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,410 - of the fireman's carry. - Oh! 426 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,481 I think British food is gross. 427 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,652 How's the party coming along? 428 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,622 - Um, good. So good. - Yeah. 429 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,491 It's going to be a blast. 430 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,427 - You gonna blow up the party? - What? 431 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,863 I'm hoping this will raise Nellie's spirits. 432 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,799 It's painfully cold in here. 433 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,669 Oh, it'll warm up once we start dancing. 434 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,370 Oh! There'll be dancing. 435 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:20,607 - Do we have a stereo or...? - Mm. 436 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,808 Where do you want me to set up? 437 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,877 - On top of the vending machine? - Uh, no. 438 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,580 "Heading back." 439 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,849 Brace for impact. 440 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,551 - Ah! - Oh. 441 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,554 Oh, boy. 442 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,822 Suck it! 443 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,793 - Andy-- - It'll be fine. 444 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,161 Just act natural. 445 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,862 Do you want a gummy penis? 446 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,365 No, I'll just have some gummy bears. 447 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,834 - These are delicious. - But...they're penises. 448 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,170 And we come to Matthew, 449 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:51,905 the guy who was with his old girlfriend 450 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,907 basically the whole time we were together. 451 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,308 - Oh! - Eew! 452 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,777 Eew! Aw! That seems gross... 453 00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,713 at first blush, right? 454 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,450 But relationships are always more complicated than you think. 455 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:07,454 I mean, we don't know Matthew's history with this other woman. 456 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:10,657 Maybe she saved his life. I don't know. 457 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,592 I just--I don't think we should rush to judgment 458 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,627 about Matthew. Maybe we don't pop that one. 459 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,162 - No, pop Matthew. - Pop it! 460 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,499 Pop it! 461 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,867 - Hey. - Hey. 462 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,869 Sorry. It's kind of a madhouse. 463 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,738 - Aah! - Oh! 464 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,773 Ha ha ha! Megan! 465 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,608 You are one of the good ones, nard dog. 466 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,477 - Aw... - No, really. 467 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,277 Where's my Andy? 468 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,880 - I dunno. - Oh, he's out there. 469 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,882 Are you gonna sing for us? 470 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,751 Well, you guys are doing a pretty good job 471 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,452 with the scary yelling, so... 472 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:40,887 That's not like you. That's not like you. 473 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,656 Come on, sing! Sing! 474 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,693 * Beyond bonnie banks * 475 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:50,630 * And beyond bonnie braes * 476 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,232 The break room? 477 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,768 What kind of crap party is this? 478 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,237 Oh, is this you, kiddo? 479 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,272 Oh, ow! Meredith! 480 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,574 - This is our catharsis party. - Oh. 481 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:04,244 It means revenge, which is a dish best served cold, 482 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,813 unlike the show Revenge, which is hot, hot, hot. 483 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,682 Okay, they're almost here. 484 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,451 What? Come on! 485 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,788 If you guys are gonna be mean, can you at least be subtle? 486 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,891 Oh, in the warehouse we use code names 487 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,426 for people we want to talk about. 488 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,796 Andy was Jelly Roll. Mike was Dennis the Menace. 489 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,397 Ryan was Douche Bag. 490 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,966 Hey, that's not a code name. That's just an insult. 491 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,268 Plus, everyone would know who you meant. 492 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,403 - Yeah. - No. That's a great idea. 493 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,605 Yes, let's have a code name. How 'bout Mondays? 494 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,241 I hate Mondays? Mondays are the worst? 495 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,743 Nobody's named Monday. 496 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,678 Hey, how 'bout we go with Pam? 497 00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:39,946 Simple, easy to remember. 498 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,781 'Cause there's someone already here named Pam. 499 00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:42,782 Shh. Here she comes. 500 00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:45,251 all: Hey! 501 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,820 Welcome to your party. 502 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,288 Everybody get comfy now. 503 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,824 This first song's over a half hour long. 504 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,696 * * 505 00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:57,931 Best gig ever. 506 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,300 They asked me to play only originals. 507 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:01,968 I said, "Have you heard my originals? 508 00:20:02,002 --> 00:20:04,504 They're terrible." They said, "Even better." 509 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,306 I said, "I get it. 510 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,842 It's an ironic party for Nellie." 511 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,977 Look at this! 512 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,646 They've gone all-out. 513 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,315 Is this all for me? 514 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,417 Yes! Much deserved. 515 00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:20,887 Is that pizza? 516 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,656 Well...it's from Have a Slice. 517 00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:28,428 Not Il Datello. 518 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,530 Okay then. 519 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,337 Maybe we should just go. 520 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,673 No. I gotta do this. 521 00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:50,450 That was coconut water. 522 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,519 Hey, Jessica, can I talk to you? 523 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,421 Uh, yeah, sure. What's up? 524 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,989 Maybe we could talk in private. 525 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,725 Uh...yeah. What is it? 526 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,694 Well, first let me just say 527 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:04,364 that I hope when I'm done with the sort of ugly bits 528 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,099 that we can stay friends. 529 00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,801 You're breaking up with me? 530 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,836 Uh...no. 531 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,438 No. 532 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:14,407 You always do this. You twist my words around. 533 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,876 Part of me thinks we should just end this right now. 534 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:19,346 Oh, my God. 535 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,780 Are you leaving me for Erin? 536 00:21:20,814 --> 00:21:22,816 You said she wasn't relationship material, 537 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:25,452 and she wasn't as good as me, but it's her, isn't it? 538 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,053 Whoa! 539 00:21:27,087 --> 00:21:29,522 That--no. Okay. 540 00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:30,924 You want honesty? 541 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,693 Super-honesty time. 542 00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:34,894 I'm gay. 543 00:21:34,928 --> 00:21:36,396 What? 544 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:39,933 I am gay, and I prefer men. 545 00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:42,135 - I knew it! - You did not, Kenny! 546 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,070 You invited me to go shopping with you. 547 00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:46,373 I like hanging out with you. 548 00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,141 You're a cool guy. 549 00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,710 Which proves my point. That I'm gay. 550 00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:52,979 Andy, you're not gay. 551 00:21:53,013 --> 00:21:55,582 I mean, we were...together. 552 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:58,018 And you seemed pretty excitable. 553 00:21:58,051 --> 00:22:00,487 Well, I was faking it. 554 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,122 I had to fake it every time. 555 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,024 I had to imagine that I was in a steam room 556 00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:05,558 with John Stamos. 557 00:22:05,592 --> 00:22:09,863 I can't say it doesn't make sense... 558 00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:11,464 - Well... - Look, it's-- 559 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:13,400 I mean, I was good at hiding it, but-- 560 00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:15,535 It's fine, Andy. 561 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,937 I didn't think we were gonna get married or anything. 562 00:22:17,971 --> 00:22:20,440 I just... 563 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:21,708 I'm just upset for now. 564 00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,143 Understandable. 565 00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:25,578 And I'm really sorry. 566 00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:27,447 I really am. 567 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,019 So...we should probably... 568 00:22:33,053 --> 00:22:34,621 go. 569 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:46,566 This humble but sincere effort 570 00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:48,902 is all for our valued new colleague. 571 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,570 Excellent. 572 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:51,838 To Nellie Bertram. 573 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,673 You are a most welcome and friendly presence 574 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,008 at our company. 575 00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,477 - Cheers. - Why, thank you. 576 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,779 Pam, on the other hand, 577 00:22:59,813 --> 00:23:03,116 is a most unwelcome, entitled, unfriendly presence 578 00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:04,517 in our company. 579 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,087 all: Cheers. 580 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:09,522 Nellie is terrific, 581 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:11,491 but to be honest, 582 00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,860 every day I imagine how happy I'd be 583 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,028 if Pam died. 584 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,932 Oh. Well. 585 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,601 I feel that as someone who knows Pam 586 00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:23,737 only a little bit... 587 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:25,772 enough. A good amount. 588 00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:27,741 Not the most, though. 589 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,809 I would say that she is misunderstood 590 00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,612 and that maybe there's some stuff in her past 591 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:34,180 that you guys don't know about 592 00:23:34,214 --> 00:23:35,715 that's a little messed up, 593 00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:37,917 and probably makes her such a torture to work with. 594 00:23:37,951 --> 00:23:40,720 We hate Pam. We hate Pam. 595 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:43,757 all: We hate Pam! We hate Pam! 596 00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:45,892 - We hate Pa-- - So we've established... 597 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,561 - No. No. - That you guys hate Pam. 598 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:52,565 Do you ever wish she would just...disappear? 599 00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:53,700 Oh! 600 00:23:57,737 --> 00:23:59,272 That was a really rough scene. 601 00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:01,141 - Right? Rough scene. - Yeah. 602 00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:05,912 Oh...at least we can kiss now. 603 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,781 Oh, yeah. 604 00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,287 You know, that stuff that I said about you to her... 605 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,790 I did--that's just-- I had to say it. 606 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:19,059 You know, I was dating her at the time. 607 00:24:19,092 --> 00:24:20,293 Yeah. 608 00:24:20,326 --> 00:24:22,595 Yes, of course. 609 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:26,533 - Ah...I feel really tired. - Yeah. 610 00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:28,068 Probably from seeing that turkey. 611 00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:31,204 - Oh, yeah. - When we drove by the farm. 612 00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:33,673 Ohh. Always does it. 613 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:42,215 Are you Nellie? Oh, I think you're my volunteer. 614 00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:43,616 Come on over here, huh? 615 00:24:45,618 --> 00:24:47,687 Oh, I'll do it. I will volunteer. 616 00:24:47,721 --> 00:24:49,155 - No, Nell--she-- - I'll do it. 617 00:24:49,189 --> 00:24:52,292 Oh! Big guy, huh? How's the air up there? 618 00:24:52,325 --> 00:24:55,228 Watch out for...birds. 619 00:24:57,130 --> 00:25:00,967 All right, let's, uh-- let's do some card magic. 620 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:03,003 Now, what I want you to do is... 621 00:25:03,036 --> 00:25:05,839 I want you to pick a card just by looking at it. 622 00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:08,842 Do not say what it is. 623 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,245 It's the 4 of hearts. 624 00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:14,247 Oh, no, you-- 625 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,751 Looks like we got a guy from another country here, huh? 626 00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:20,620 No hablo el cardo, senor? 627 00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:21,921 Hmm? Ha. 628 00:25:21,955 --> 00:25:23,623 All right, the card is picked. 629 00:25:23,656 --> 00:25:26,760 Now, sir, will you please shuffle the deck? 630 00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:35,702 You didn't just do that on...purpose, did ya? 631 00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:38,038 Why is Jim treating the magician poorly? 632 00:25:38,071 --> 00:25:39,906 Little known fact about me-- 633 00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:43,777 before I was a magician, I used to work... 634 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:45,045 - at a rope factory. - Not true. 635 00:25:45,078 --> 00:25:46,880 'cause that's not a real place. 636 00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:50,116 But I never could seem to figure out those knots. 637 00:25:50,150 --> 00:25:50,950 That's not a real knot. 638 00:25:50,984 --> 00:25:52,752 When you pull on it, it disappears. 639 00:25:52,786 --> 00:25:54,354 What the hell? 640 00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:55,689 All right, where's Phyllis? 641 00:25:55,722 --> 00:25:58,158 Who's Phyllis? 642 00:25:58,191 --> 00:25:59,659 Look! 643 00:25:59,693 --> 00:26:01,828 This is really uncool, okay? 644 00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:03,763 I put on a clean show here-- 645 00:26:03,797 --> 00:26:05,265 - Okay, scram, wizard. - What? 646 00:26:05,298 --> 00:26:06,733 - You heard me! - Ho oh! 647 00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:08,702 Well, Nellie, I'm sorry. 648 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:10,904 If I'd known Jim and Pam 649 00:26:10,937 --> 00:26:13,139 would use this party as an excuse 650 00:26:13,173 --> 00:26:14,674 to abuse a magician-- 651 00:26:14,708 --> 00:26:17,043 Well, I thought it was quite fun. 652 00:26:17,077 --> 00:26:19,346 In fact, I think they're brilliant employees 653 00:26:19,379 --> 00:26:21,181 in their own way. 654 00:26:21,214 --> 00:26:22,949 Don't you see what I see? 655 00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:24,718 Interesting. Yes. 656 00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:26,753 No, yes, I see that. 657 00:26:26,786 --> 00:26:29,155 Great work, team. 658 00:26:29,189 --> 00:26:30,890 Great party. 659 00:26:30,924 --> 00:26:33,360 You think this is a great party? 660 00:26:33,393 --> 00:26:36,196 This cake has vegetables in it. 661 00:26:36,229 --> 00:26:38,231 Like a salad bar, Robert. 662 00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:41,001 How do I get this taste out of my mouth? 663 00:26:44,704 --> 00:26:46,039 What? Why are we-- 664 00:26:46,072 --> 00:26:48,308 I just gotta do one thing. 665 00:26:54,314 --> 00:26:55,915 Oh. Hello. 666 00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:57,717 Hey, everybody, look who's here. 667 00:26:57,751 --> 00:26:58,918 What are you doing here? 668 00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:01,855 Hi. Super-duper honesty time. 669 00:27:01,888 --> 00:27:03,356 I'm not gay. 670 00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:06,159 In fact, I'm so not gay that I'm in love with a girl. 671 00:27:06,192 --> 00:27:09,929 Her name is Erin Hannon, and she's right there. 672 00:27:09,963 --> 00:27:12,198 She's sweet, funny, and beautiful, 673 00:27:12,232 --> 00:27:15,769 and total relationship material. 674 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:17,070 Why the hell did you come back here? 675 00:27:17,103 --> 00:27:19,305 - Go away. - Get lost. 676 00:27:19,339 --> 00:27:20,940 - Get out! - Okay. 677 00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:22,175 - You're done! - Bye, guys. 678 00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:24,444 Get out. You ruined my party! 679 00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:26,946 Who does that? Are you kidding me? 680 00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,148 Yeah, run away, Andy. 681 00:27:28,181 --> 00:27:29,983 - Run away! - You're disgusting! 682 00:27:30,016 --> 00:27:33,253 I can't believe you're not gay! 683 00:27:33,286 --> 00:27:35,755 - Yeah, get outta here. - Don't come back. 684 00:27:37,891 --> 00:27:39,125 Uh-oh. 685 00:27:39,159 --> 00:27:40,460 You don't even know how to drive! 686 00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:41,828 Bye, Andy! 687 00:27:41,861 --> 00:27:43,163 - Loser! - Nice car! 688 00:27:50,904 --> 00:27:52,038 Hey, hank. 689 00:27:52,072 --> 00:27:53,340 Yes, ma'am. 690 00:27:53,373 --> 00:27:55,141 I thought I was very specific 691 00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:57,243 about you not letting up a magician. 692 00:27:57,277 --> 00:27:59,279 Yes, ma'am. I got my eyes open. 693 00:27:59,312 --> 00:28:01,781 Well, turns out he actually made it up there. 694 00:28:01,815 --> 00:28:03,483 What? That ain't right. 695 00:28:03,516 --> 00:28:05,185 Yeah, he came and went. 696 00:28:05,218 --> 00:28:07,287 There's no way he could've got past me. 697 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:12,892 Well, I--I have to say I am a little disappointed. 698 00:28:12,926 --> 00:28:15,028 Wait a minute! 699 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:17,397 You said it was a magician, right? 700 00:28:17,430 --> 00:28:19,799 You don't think he coulda used... 701 00:28:19,833 --> 00:28:21,067 it couldn't have been ma-- 702 00:28:22,302 --> 00:28:24,938 - Let's just--let's go. - Night-night. 49499

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