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1
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:15,382
This is Pam.
2
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,517
Oh, my God,
are you sure?
3
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:19,419
Uh, okay.
Okay, we'll be right there.
4
00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:21,421
Everybody,
5
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:23,189
the balloon is falling.
6
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,257
Nice.
7
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:26,159
- There's this balloonthat has been floating
8
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,727
in the rafters ofthe warehouse for, like, ever.
9
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,630
And, okay, it's not--
it doesn't sound cool.
10
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:31,831
You just have to see it.
11
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:37,671
Well, I guess it doesn't
look that cool either.
12
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,206
But it's been up there
a long time,
13
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,677
so it's become
a pretty big deal.
14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,413
Wow.
It's the end of an era.
15
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,181
Did a good job, buddy.
16
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,216
Now it's time
to come home.
17
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,752
I remember when that balloon
went up there.
18
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,754
I was still with Gil.
19
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,489
We were so happy.
20
00:00:56,523 --> 00:01:01,194
When that went up there,
I had hair like Rapunzel.
21
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,830
How long do you think
it's been up there, Kevin?
22
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:07,434
I just remember
pushing aside my silky bangs
23
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:10,503
to say, "Look, a balloon."
24
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,673
My "Warcraft" clan
was still on speaking terms.
25
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,675
My kid didn't have
a face tattoo.
26
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,378
I was still thinking
of going back to school.
27
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,714
And I was still
just a paper salesman.
28
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,782
Well,
this has been fun, Pam.
29
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,352
Thanks for calling us all
down here.
30
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:29,756
all:
Kill the balloon.
31
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,658
Kill the balloon.
32
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:35,228
Kill the balloon.
Kill the balloon.
33
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:49,309
* *
34
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,878
{\an8}- Hey. So they accidentally
gave us
35
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,646
{\an8}an extra egg sandwich
this morning.
36
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,681
{\an8}- Who wants it?
Ooh.
37
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,216
{\an8}- Right here, right here.
Yes.
38
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,518
{\an8}- Allow me
to solve your problem, then.
39
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,287
{\an8}- Nellie.
Mmm.
40
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:07,227
{\an8}Oh, that is disgusting.
41
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,896
{\an8}Do you call that
a King James breakfast pie?
42
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:11,431
{\an8}- What brings you
to town?
43
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:14,334
{\an8}- Certainly not
the Harry Houdini Museum.
44
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,636
{\an8}What a nobody.
45
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,773
{\an8}Oh, look, some Hungarian just
found their way out of a sack.
46
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,241
{\an8}Let's build a shrine.
47
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:22,642
{\an8}No, I've come
to work here.
48
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,377
{\an8}What?
49
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,912
{\an8}How could Robert
transfer Nellie here
50
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,781
{\an8}after the Sabre store debacle?
51
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,716
{\an8}She stinks of failure.
52
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,317
{\an8}The fact that
she could show her face
53
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:33,486
{\an8}around here
is an embarrassment.
54
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,256
{\an8}I should know.
I'm in an identical situation.
55
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,391
{\an8}- Robert did say
you'd be joining us.
56
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,526
{\an8}Welcome.
I'm Tony.
57
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,528
{\an8}- Mm.
What?
58
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:42,896
{\an8}- I-I said I'm Tony.
59
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,330
{\an8}Okay, I made a mistake.
60
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,366
{\an8}I thought
it might go unnoticed.
61
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:48,668
{\an8}But, uh, I'm Toby.
62
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,670
{\an8}- You messed up
saying your name?
63
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,706
{\an8}It happens, okay?
64
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,008
{\an8}So let's just find
an empty desk for you,
65
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:57,977
{\an8}and I'm sure Robert will be
with you as soon as he gets in.
66
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,814
{\an8}- That one looks empty.
No, it's Andy's office.
67
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,351
{\an8}Oh, is it?
68
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,686
{\an8}I have one simple philosophy
in business--
69
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,422
{\an8}if the seat is open,
the job is open.
70
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:13,993
{\an8}It's how I came to briefly race
a Formula 1 car.
71
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,230
{\an8}The three slowest laps
ever recorded.
72
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,602
{\an8}- Another beautiful day
in Tallahassee.
73
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:24,604
{\an8}Ooh.
Good morning, Alonzo.
74
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:26,439
{\an8}Good morning, Erin.
75
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:29,309
{\an8}- How are you?
How's your family doing?
76
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,910
{\an8}Bye.
77
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,413
{\an8}This is my house.
78
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:34,247
{\an8}It has five rooms,
79
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,349
{\an8}not including the garage
or the roof.
80
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,451
{\an8}It takes me most of the day
just to clean it.
81
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,953
{\an8}Oh, I'm a maid now...
82
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:41,988
{\an8}like in "Downtown Abbey."
83
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,891
{\an8}Did I not mention
I only watch PBS now?
84
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:47,660
{\an8}- Because we don't have cable.
We have cable.
85
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:51,297
You just have to turn the TV
on 3 and use the other remote.
86
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:52,465
This is Irene,
87
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:57,404
the world's best boss/roommate/
cantankerous old coot.
88
00:03:57,437 --> 00:04:00,740
I taught you "cantankerous,"
and now you use it against me?
89
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,609
See? She's given me
everything--
90
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,445
a job, a house, a new life.
91
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,780
And a suitor.
92
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,015
Hey, Erin,
are you gonna help me study
93
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,884
for the TSA exam later?
94
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,453
- You said you would.
- Yeah, okay.
95
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,689
Tallahassee.
96
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,924
- Nellie.
- Robert.
97
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:23,730
How are you adjusting to life
in Scranton so far?
98
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,065
So far, so good.
99
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,000
The water pressure in the hotel
is marvelous.
100
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,369
Ah, well,
it is astounding
101
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:33,440
what a difference
that can make, isn't it?
102
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,641
Mm-hmm.
103
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:38,545
Now, let's find you something
fun to do here, shall we?
104
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,380
Oh, I've already found it.
105
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:43,049
I am manager--
a natural next step.
106
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,919
- Fits like a glove.
- We have a manager.
107
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,487
Do you really?
108
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,389
Because it is 10:00,
109
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,424
I've been in this chair
for an hour,
110
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,394
and no other manager
has come and sat in my lap.
111
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:01,401
Excuse me, has anyone
seen Andy this morning?
112
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:04,070
Huh, yeah, that's weird.
He's usually here by now.
113
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,473
Right, guys?
114
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,474
-Hello?
115
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:11,044
Andy, it's Robert.
Why aren't you at work?
116
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,645
Hey, Robert.
117
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,681
Ah, I really wish I could comeinto work today,
118
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,949
but I'm super sick.
119
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,551
I don't care.
I don't care.
120
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:21,154
Please come to work
immediately.
121
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:23,490
Okay, I'll try
to come in,
122
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:27,660
even though
I'm really sick with the...
123
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:29,863
Florida flu.
124
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,900
He just hung up on me
mid-sentence.
125
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,635
I'm in Florida
to get Erin.
126
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,671
As soon as I heard she wasn't
coming back to Scranton,
127
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,705
I jumped straight in my car
128
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,874
and drove straight down
till I hit the ocean.
129
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,043
My heart is my map.
130
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,979
Turns out Tallahassee
is about 200 miles inland,
131
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,948
so I overshot a good amount.
132
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,651
But still, not bad
for a heart map, right?
133
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,756
Oh, no.
134
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,459
Thanks a lot, B.P.
135
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,462
Not much we can do about this
until he gets here.
136
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,197
Can't you do
something about this?
137
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,400
Sometimes the flowers
arrange themselves, Jim.
138
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:11,738
Right.
139
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,039
What is going on?
140
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,974
And where's Andy?
141
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,110
And what is going on?
142
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,847
Okay, this is it.
143
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,515
Grandkids, take note--
144
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,051
this is how Granny and Grampy
got together.
145
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,020
I know you just know her
as a fat, old bag now,
146
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,956
but once upon a time,
she was hot.
147
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,900
- Erin, you got a package.
- I'm in the bathroom.
148
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,035
Where's the postage?
149
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,903
I mean,
there's no shipping label.
150
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,173
- Did you wash your hands?
- Yes.
151
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,743
* Here I am *
152
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,846
* Signed, sealed, delivered,
I'm yours *
153
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,914
Andy,
what are you doing here?
154
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,516
It's great to see you.
155
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,089
Hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
156
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,992
Has he not kicked her out yet?
This is insane.
157
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,761
Has she come out at all?
158
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,129
Once to eat a bagel
159
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,397
and again, I'm assuming,
to void it.
160
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,034
- Has anyone talked to Andy?
- He's not returning any calls.
161
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,535
I checked his Facebook.
162
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,804
Status said
"Pumped for Wednesday."
163
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,205
Today's Thursday.
164
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,807
I hate to take it
to this place,
165
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,710
but re Andy,
has anyone checked the morgue?
166
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,545
Checking a morgue
isn't a real thing.
167
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,180
- Yeah, it's a real thing.
- If you're a policeman.
168
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,916
No, anyone. You just, like--
"Hey, can I look around?"
169
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,017
- Anyone?
- Yeah.
170
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,552
They have names
on everything.
171
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:33,853
I didn't know you worked
with CSI.
172
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,156
Then you go to the graveyard.
You look for a cemetery plot.
173
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,924
- Okay, guys! Shh!
- All right, Sherlock.
174
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,859
Andy's fine, all right?
175
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,028
Last time he was this late,
he just lost track of time
176
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,297
watching a "Today" show segment
on men's shorts, so it's not--
177
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,799
Well, what's Nellie like?
178
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,967
She's the last person
I'd expect to see here.
179
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,969
Talk about failing upwards.
180
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,971
That's how cantaloupe
got popular.
181
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,273
I'll text Andy.
182
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,542
Ryan, can you put my phone
on text mode?
183
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:56,643
Yeah.
184
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,246
Okay, thank you.
185
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,117
Okay, A, push--push N,
186
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:07,721
push D, push, push, push, okay.
187
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,689
What's this, then?
188
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,859
Everyone okay?
Just some casual conversation?
189
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,094
- Yep, exactly.
- Yeppers.
190
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,730
Let's all follow Mama Goose
into the meeting room, then,
191
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,898
shall we, ducklings?
192
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:22,335
- Nellie.
- Yes...
193
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,204
Robert.
194
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,540
Yes.
195
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:34,814
Come on, you heard her.
196
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,853
So this is what
we're doing now, then?
197
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,721
We're just--
198
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,890
That's where I keep
my spices--
199
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,326
cumin, saffron, paprika.
200
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,195
I bought everything you need
to make a paella.
201
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,098
- She means papaya.
- I mean paella.
202
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,801
Great.
The maid has a visitor.
203
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,337
Maybe he'll use
my exercise bike, too.
204
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,940
Nope.
Uh, I am here...
205
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,676
to take you back to Scranton,
206
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,812
because I love you
and I want to be with you.
207
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,714
Where's the ring?
208
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,750
- Hmm?
- Where's the ring, Lancelot?
209
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,019
Uh, would you guys mind if we
talked privately for a second?
210
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,721
Sorry, Glenn.
211
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,795
Um, Andy...
212
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:24,164
I am so happy to see you.
213
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,666
But I'm not
coming back with you.
214
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,768
Why won't she
go with him?
215
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,236
I don't know.
216
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,405
Maybe it's 'cause
he's not that handsome.
217
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,709
Hey...
don't listen.
218
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,279
Can you tell me why?
219
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,682
I just...
220
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,051
I thought you'd want
to come back.
221
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,220
I don't know.
A lot of reasons.
222
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,222
Well, tell me one.
223
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,957
I have a life here, Andy.
224
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,059
I-I have a cool house.
225
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,128
I have a-a great job,
226
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,365
a really great
roommate/best friend.
227
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,200
Is there someone else?
228
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,868
Well, yeah, maybe.
229
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,337
- Who?
- Glenn.
230
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,308
I mean, we don't know
each other that well,
231
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,144
but I'm excited to see
if there's anything there.
232
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:14,114
Glenn, the guy that lives
here with his grandmother?
233
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,248
Yeah, that's Glenn.
234
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,751
I'm--I'm sorry that he's not
235
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,453
some Bryn Mawr cross-country
coach lady like Jessica,
236
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:25,258
but maybe my tastes aren't
as refined, you know?
237
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,260
You can't always have
a hamburger.
238
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,129
Sometimes you just want
bologna.
239
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,864
He's like Spam or something.
240
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,966
Look, I don't know
where it's going.
241
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,035
I--
242
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:38,705
Never settle for bologna
when you can have hamburger.
243
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,307
I-I'm not saying take me back.
244
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,176
I-I mean, of course,
that's what I want.
245
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:46,312
I'm just saying
you are worth hamburger.
246
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:53,920
Well, this is not
what I expected...
247
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:56,289
especially after driving here
all night.
248
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,291
I'm sorry.
I know you must be tired.
249
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,959
Uh, no, actually,
I'm not tired.
250
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,496
I-I had a 12-pack of this
energy drink called Up Yours.
251
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,398
It has a picture of a hyena
giving you the finger
252
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:06,900
- on the can.
- Oh.
253
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:10,036
I feel weird.
I just--
254
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,404
Can I stay for lunch?
255
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,740
- Oh.
- As a friend?
256
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,976
Well, I'd have to boil
another hot dog.
257
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,346
But, ye--but, yes.
Yes.
258
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,314
I'm not gonna give up
that easily.
259
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,449
Let me tell you something--
260
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,984
if a long drive was all it took
to win over a girl,
261
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,722
then supermodels would be
married to long-haul truckers.
262
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,060
So "what is going on?"
263
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:37,864
That does seem to be
the question, doesn't it?
264
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,166
Hey, this is messed up, bro.
265
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,435
Who is this weird lady?
266
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,204
I know.
267
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,773
It's a lot.
268
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,375
So who knows
what's going on?
269
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,810
Anyone?
You, yes.
270
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:54,848
Wait, I am very good
at intuiting names.
271
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,783
Andrea is it?
272
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,519
Andrea?
Do I look like a rapper?
273
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,854
Angela.
274
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,389
Still very close.
275
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,324
- I don't see it.
- Okay, then.
276
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,925
Yes, you.
277
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,128
Ooh, I've got a very
good feeling about your name.
278
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,196
Is it...
279
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,831
Chumbo?
280
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,904
I think it's a cross
between "dumbo" and "jumbo,"
281
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,306
with a hint of "chubby."
282
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,242
It's not a name.
283
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,511
So no one can tell me
what's going on.
284
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:27,814
Well, let me illuminate
things for you.
285
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,916
We are getting
to know each other.
286
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:33,119
But why, m'lady?
287
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:37,490
Because I am your new manager.
288
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,093
Robert, is Nellie
our new manager?
289
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:44,097
This is an odd situation.
290
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,901
But it's very interesting
how it's playing out.
291
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,304
We live in this world
of routines and rhythms.
292
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:55,608
Kevin ate someone's lunch,
Phyllis has a new necklace.
293
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:58,211
Who is this woman?
294
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,480
I came in here simply
trying to get to know you,
295
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:01,948
learn your names,
296
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,050
maybe have someone teach me
the company song.
297
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,954
And what I got in return
was nothing but disrespect.
298
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,422
You leave me no choice
299
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,491
but to get to know you
in a more intimate way.
300
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,627
- Hot tub party?
- Performance reviews.
301
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,496
How can you give us
performance reviews
302
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,031
if you don't know us?
303
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:21,868
On first impressions,
so I recommend smiling.
304
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,337
It goes a long way with me.
305
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:36,216
Irene, this house is lovely.
306
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,118
Okay.
307
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,354
I really, really like it.
Did you decorate it yourself?
308
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,222
You really like it?
309
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,591
Because everything's for sale
on eBay.
310
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,292
I'll send you a link.
311
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,927
I would love that.
312
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,430
Erin, you really nailed
the hot dogs today.
313
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,999
Oh, thanks. I've been reusing
the hot dog water
314
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,334
so it gets more flavor.
315
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,970
It's only going
to keep getting better.
316
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,042
So, Glenn,
how did you meet Erin?
317
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,545
Came home one day,
there she was.
318
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,913
Glenn said he might take me
319
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,581
to a Florida State
football game.
320
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,183
Mm, didn't say "football."
321
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,285
Hope you like women's lacrosse.
322
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,624
Anybody got something
for me to read?
323
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,060
I'm not really feeling
this conversation.
324
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,963
Uh...
325
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,099
I actually have this map
of South Carolina.
326
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,268
I don't know
if you're into that, but...
327
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,207
No crap.
328
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,043
Charleston's not the capital.
329
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,079
Ah, it's Columbia.
330
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:42,115
Erin is an expert
on state capitals.
331
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,085
- What's the capital of Texas?
- The Alamo.
332
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,586
Wow.
I didn't even know that.
333
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,088
It's Austin.
334
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,690
They have
a wonderful music scene.
335
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,425
Mm...
336
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,695
pretty sure it's the Alamo
if Erin said it's the Alamo.
337
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,498
- Well, but it might be Austin.
- Mm.
338
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:01,534
So, Andrew, how does
your skinny brunette girlfriend
339
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:05,271
Jessica feel about you visiting
your ex-girlfriend?
340
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:13,446
Well, we're not
really dating anymore, so...
341
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,648
Basically, I mean,
I just have to cross a few "T"s
342
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,617
and dot a few "I"s,
you know.
343
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,386
So you came to get me,
344
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,354
but you still have
a girlfriend.
345
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,124
I think you should leave,
young man.
346
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,126
All right,
technically, yes,
347
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,429
I am still technically
dating Jessica.
348
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,032
But when I realized
that I wanted you back,
349
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,668
I just jumped in the car,
and I drove down here,
350
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,337
and I didn't want to stop
until I saw you.
351
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:41,641
You didn't even stop to pee?
Gross.
352
00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:43,343
Irene knows
all about Jessica,
353
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:46,312
which means that Erin has been
talking about me a lot.
354
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,348
Does that sound like someone
who's moved on?
355
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,150
Mm...
356
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,685
Do you even want dessert,
357
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,288
or are you still doing
South Beach?
358
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:58,358
I never told her
I was doing South Beach.
359
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:02,095
Um, I'll have some lettuce
and pistachios, thank you.
360
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,066
Guys...
361
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,134
we cannot do these
performance reviews, okay?
362
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,502
If we go into them,
363
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,404
you're basically accepting
Nellie as your manager.
364
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,440
And trust me, you do not want
her as your manager.
365
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,574
Trust you?
366
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,209
The way Pam trusted you
367
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,678
to provide for her
so she wouldn't have to work?
368
00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:20,413
I like working here.
369
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,282
Dwight, should she be
our manager?
370
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,285
I wouldn't let her manage
a celery farm.
371
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,254
Those who can't farm
farm celery.
372
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,690
When was the last time Dwight
and I agreed on anything ever?
373
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,827
All right, let's get going.
374
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,262
First up, it is the woman
375
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,165
with the beautiful fingernails
and the tiny feet--
376
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:42,102
- Phyllis.
- Oh.
377
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,204
Nellie, I'm sorry, but I don't
feel comfortable
378
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,406
being evaluated
by someone I don't know.
379
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,342
Oh.
Oh, okay, I understand.
380
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,311
Let me show you
how these are gonna go.
381
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,512
Dwight.
382
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,215
I refuse to be judged by
someone that I do not respect.
383
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,649
I lost respect for you
in Florida.
384
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,852
If it was up to me,
you would be in jail forever,
385
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,221
or worse--Florida.
386
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:04,224
Dwight, I have completed
your evaluation.
387
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,659
- You're getting a raise.
- What?
388
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,629
Dwight,
you carry this company
389
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,564
on your massive shoulders.
390
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:14,567
You are our Atlas.
391
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,570
And for that, do you not think
you deserve a raise?
392
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,539
There's no limit
to what I think I deserve.
393
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:22,542
- Then you accept it?
- 5%, no less.
394
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,577
Absolutely not.
7%.
395
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:27,714
- 6%. I know my worth.
- Raise isn't real.
396
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:31,317
Money isn't real ever since
we got off the gold standard.
397
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,653
So, Phyllis, now you know
the rules of the game,
398
00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:35,155
do you care to have a go?
399
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,857
I'm fairly certain
you're gonna like it.
400
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,659
Phyllis.
401
00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:41,461
Pam.
402
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,133
So, Phyllis, I have been
very impressed with you.
403
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,302
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
404
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:52,339
The way you conquered your fear
and came in here,
405
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:56,242
and now the way
you sit there...
406
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,445
all very impressive.
407
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,715
- Any luck?
- No.
408
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:05,185
He just keeps letting
all the calls go to voicemail.
409
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,320
-* Please leave *
410
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:11,257
* A messagefor Andy Bernard *
411
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,160
* Include your nameand number *
412
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,262
* If it's not too hard *
413
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,931
All right, we get it.
414
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,733
- * Please-- *
415
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,336
Robert, um...
416
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:27,273
are you aware that
Nellie is giving out raises?
417
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,576
I am not.
Huh.
418
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,177
Yeah.
419
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,912
She gave one to Dwight,
Phyllis.
420
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,181
Let me guess,
you want one too?
421
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,450
Take the family
to "Disneytown"?
422
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,284
Land. World.
423
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,186
Uh, it's not
that I don't want a--
424
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,454
Well, yes,
I guess I'd take a raise.
425
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:42,822
That's not what I'm saying.
That's not--sorry.
426
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:45,191
Jim, I told Andy
to come in,
427
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,927
and yet,
he is still not in.
428
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,230
By contrast,
429
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:54,234
Nellie Bertram
saw a vacuum and filled it.
430
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,736
To make no mention
of her business experience
431
00:18:56,770 --> 00:19:00,206
or her relationship
with Jo Bennett, my boss.
432
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,641
- Yes.
- Jim, would you prefer
433
00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:03,743
a nature metaphor
or a sexual metaphor?
434
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,211
Oh, God,
nature, please.
435
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,880
When two animals
are having sex,
436
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,682
one of them...
437
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,483
Is communicating a message
to the other.
438
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,686
Nothing is mutua--
This isn't very helpful.
439
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,888
You're going to want
to hear the sexual metaphor.
440
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,790
Was that not the--
441
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,893
All life is sex.
442
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,896
And all sex
is competition.
443
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,397
Mm-hmm.
444
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,633
And there are no rules
to that game.
445
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,235
That wasn't so perverted,
now, was it?
446
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,537
Is that it?
No, that wasn't bad.
447
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,771
My point is,
448
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:36,643
there is one person in charge
of every office in America,
449
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,312
and that person
is Charles Darwin.
450
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:43,316
In the end, doesn't he decide
who the manager is?
451
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:51,291
No.
I would've said no.
452
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,694
Oh, you're doing
so good.
453
00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:56,496
Oh, my God,
you're Superman over there.
454
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,465
You should take it.
455
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:01,434
It's probably your girlfriend,
wondering where you are.
456
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,436
Nope, it's just work.
Not important.
457
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,405
You know, I can really feel
this in my quads.
458
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:06,506
I can tell
I'm getting stronger.
459
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,942
You really wouldn't
feel those kinds of results
460
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:11,311
- after one session.
- I don't know.
461
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,881
Just let it vibrate. It's fine.
462
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,517
- You could put it on silent.
- I don't think it does that.
463
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,020
Just go to preferences,
then click--
464
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,287
Proctology.
465
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,956
-Andy?
466
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,592
- Jim?
- Andy, where are you?
467
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,729
Uh, I'm--I'm home in bed.
I've been in bed all day.
468
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:33,800
I got the--I got
the serious poops, man.
469
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,968
He's here in Tallahassee,
470
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,970
trying to turn
my life upside down.
471
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,372
- What?You're in Florida?
472
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,441
Andy, Nellie Bertram'strying to take your job.
473
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,742
What do you mean,
take my job?
474
00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:44,477
- Like, set up campin your office
475
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,612
and is calling herselfthe manager.
476
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:48,448
- Who was that, by the way?
- My grandmother Irene.
477
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,949
- Who are you?
- Dr. Butt.
478
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:51,484
Okay...
479
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,586
Jim, I really appreciate you
looking out for me,
480
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,423
but I'm not coming home
without Erin.
481
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:59,025
So I'll talk to you later.
482
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:01,394
Shall we pump some rubber?
483
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,937
One, two...
484
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,873
Mm, yeah, feel the burn.
485
00:21:13,907 --> 00:21:17,377
Okay, so this is up to us.
486
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,479
Well, I can't imagine
we're the only ones
487
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:20,747
who want to stand up for Andy.
488
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,450
You like apples?
489
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,585
'Cause I just got a raise.
490
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:29,089
How do you like them raises?
491
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,096
Mm, let's see,
review, review, review.
492
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,864
Yes, good stuff.
Here you go, have a raise.
493
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,933
Oh, great.
494
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:42,635
All right, I'll take
the severance package.
495
00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:45,638
No, I am offering you
a raise.
496
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:46,906
No?
497
00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:49,876
You know what?
498
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,778
The first thing I'm gonna do
with my raise--
499
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,681
I'm going out
and getting you laid.
500
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:58,618
Do you like Indian guys--
Cherokee, Navajo, Pequot?
501
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,487
Or do you more prefer
the Plains Indians--
502
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,157
Sioux, Comanche, Dakota?
503
00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:06,826
Huh? Huh?
504
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:15,869
You should be paid more!
505
00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:17,404
Huh?
506
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,573
You should be paid more!
507
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,509
- I should?
- Yes!
508
00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:23,910
Ah.
509
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,546
What time?
510
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:29,849
Andy, you can't lose
your job.
511
00:22:29,883 --> 00:22:31,818
See, when you say
those things, Erin,
512
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,687
it makes me think you care
about me.
513
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,121
It's just--
You have to go back.
514
00:22:35,155 --> 00:22:37,090
Now I think you care
about me a lot.
515
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:38,792
Okay, fine, then stay.
516
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,994
So the only reason
I'm watching "Dr. Oz" on mute
517
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,962
is because you guys said
you're doing physical therapy.
518
00:22:42,996 --> 00:22:44,964
- I mean, if you're not--
- Glenny, shush.
519
00:22:44,998 --> 00:22:46,766
Nana, I want to watch this.
520
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,169
I mean, this guy can't stop
drinking soda, all right?
521
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:52,639
I want to hear. I love soda.
I'd like to drink less.
522
00:22:54,074 --> 00:22:57,444
Erin, some things are more
important than work, like love.
523
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:59,779
You'd sacrifice your job?
524
00:22:59,813 --> 00:23:03,483
In Tallahassee,
those are very hard to come by.
525
00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:05,752
Glenn has never even had a job.
526
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:08,455
I'm not gonna do something
I don't love.
527
00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:10,824
I mean, if we go in there
and take these raises,
528
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,559
what are we saying?
529
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:15,128
That it's okay for someone to
just take someone else's job?
530
00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:15,995
Shouldn't work like that.
531
00:23:16,029 --> 00:23:18,998
No, you know what?
Nellie's right.
532
00:23:19,032 --> 00:23:21,601
That is exactly
how it should work.
533
00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:23,837
Darryl, this office
is mine now.
534
00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:24,838
- No.
- Yes.
535
00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:25,839
- No.
- Yes.
536
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,474
- No.
- Yes.
537
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:28,475
- No.
- Yes.
538
00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:29,476
- No.
- Yes.
539
00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,477
- No.
- Yes.
540
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,745
Sorry, too late.
I'm here.
541
00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:34,147
This is mine.
Back off.
542
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:37,550
Ow!
Ow, ow, ow.
543
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,786
Ow, ow, ow.
544
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,694
Well fought.
I accept the outcome.
545
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,665
Touch me,
and I'll sue.
546
00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:57,871
I've heard that's amazing
when it works.
547
00:23:57,904 --> 00:23:59,839
- Yeah, if I had my own--
- Andy, I care about you.
548
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:01,041
And I think--
549
00:24:01,074 --> 00:24:03,910
- Sorry, you go.
- No, go ahead.
550
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,945
Well, I was
just going to say that,
551
00:24:05,979 --> 00:24:08,048
if I had my own fountain,
it would be two frogs
552
00:24:08,081 --> 00:24:10,050
that are spitting
into each other's mouths.
553
00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:12,252
It's just stupid.
What were you going to say?
554
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,020
Andy, you broke my heart.
555
00:24:14,054 --> 00:24:15,989
Do you know
what it feels like
556
00:24:16,022 --> 00:24:18,224
to be constantly
rejected by you
557
00:24:18,258 --> 00:24:22,262
and to have to watch you
date someone else?
558
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:23,997
You broke my heart, too.
559
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:28,835
You broke my heart
more recently and more often.
560
00:24:28,868 --> 00:24:30,570
And I think,
at some point, in my head,
561
00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:34,741
it just sort of clicked
that we're not meant to be.
562
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:42,282
I'm so sorry that
we have not loved each other
563
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,617
at the same time.
564
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:46,553
I know.
565
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,104
Later.
566
00:25:04,137 --> 00:25:06,239
So, Pamela, I'm going
to start this review,
567
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:08,875
not by telling you
what you lack,
568
00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:12,045
but rather, asking you
what it is you want.
569
00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:13,246
Really?
570
00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:17,650
Okay, well, um,
I like consistency
571
00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:21,654
in the manager's position,
no weird silent coups.
572
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:22,889
Stuff like that.
I'm easy.
573
00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:24,257
That's not really
what you want.
574
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,126
What you want is
a good night's sleep,
575
00:25:26,159 --> 00:25:27,761
working mother
of two.
576
00:25:27,794 --> 00:25:30,897
Whoa, that's kind of
condescending.
577
00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:33,066
Would you say
something like that to Jim?
578
00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:35,301
Does Jim have
to breastfeed?
579
00:25:35,335 --> 00:25:37,737
Did Jim carry around
those babies for--
580
00:25:37,771 --> 00:25:39,172
what is it?
12 months?
581
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,374
Be honest, does Jim
really get up in the night?
582
00:25:41,408 --> 00:25:44,010
Well, I mean,
the only reason he doesn't
583
00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:45,879
is because
I'm breastfeeding,
584
00:25:45,912 --> 00:25:47,781
and Phillip
doesn't like a bottle.
585
00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:50,250
You must be exhausted.
586
00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:51,818
Fancy a nap?
587
00:25:51,851 --> 00:25:53,787
No.
588
00:25:53,820 --> 00:25:56,222
Go on.
Have a nap.
589
00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:02,796
Lie down right here.
590
00:26:02,829 --> 00:26:05,298
There's a blanket
in here.
591
00:26:05,331 --> 00:26:07,300
I used it earlier myself.
592
00:26:07,334 --> 00:26:09,636
Dreamt I could breathe
underwater
593
00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:11,871
like Jacques Cousteau.
594
00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:17,210
No one will know.
595
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:19,112
I'll wake you up.
596
00:26:22,048 --> 00:26:26,920
And when you wake up,
you will earn more money.
597
00:26:26,953 --> 00:26:30,657
I think...
you're a witch.
598
00:26:30,690 --> 00:26:33,660
I think
you're amazing.
599
00:26:33,693 --> 00:26:36,763
You know that, right?
600
00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:41,735
Go on, say it--
"I'm amazing."
601
00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:44,137
I'm amazing.
602
00:26:52,345 --> 00:26:56,950
Erin, I think you're making
a big mistake right now.
603
00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:59,719
- Andy is a nice boy.
- Really?
604
00:26:59,753 --> 00:27:02,689
'Cause you've been kind of
a "B" to him all afternoon.
605
00:27:02,722 --> 00:27:04,324
I was protecting you,
606
00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:06,126
because I thought
he was no good.
607
00:27:06,159 --> 00:27:08,862
But I can tell
you really like him.
608
00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:11,097
And he's willing
to lose his job for you
609
00:27:11,131 --> 00:27:13,833
in this economy,
with Europe on the brink--
610
00:27:13,867 --> 00:27:16,169
Irene,
what would you do without me?
611
00:27:16,202 --> 00:27:19,239
We're not your concern,
sweetheart.
612
00:27:19,272 --> 00:27:22,142
Besides, Glenn's going
to sue Home Depot.
613
00:27:22,175 --> 00:27:23,276
Why?
614
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:26,980
He got his foreskin caught
in some lawn furniture.
615
00:27:27,013 --> 00:27:29,382
I want to hear
you say it, Darryl.
616
00:27:29,416 --> 00:27:32,285
Say "I am amazing."
617
00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:34,154
I think that would make me
feel uncomfortable.
618
00:27:34,187 --> 00:27:36,489
But you are amazing.
619
00:27:36,523 --> 00:27:38,124
Excuse me, I--
620
00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:39,993
Oh, I'm sorry.
621
00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:41,895
I'm stepping out for a coffee.
622
00:27:41,928 --> 00:27:43,863
Can I get you anything,
anything at all?
623
00:27:43,897 --> 00:27:45,165
Yeah, I would love a coffee.
624
00:27:45,198 --> 00:27:47,067
- Nellie?
- No, thank you.
625
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,803
- You sure?
- Positive.
626
00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,304
Okay.
627
00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:53,006
Ooh...
628
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:55,175
it's actually much later
than I thought.
629
00:27:55,208 --> 00:27:58,011
If I have a coffee now,
I'll never get to sleep.
630
00:27:59,913 --> 00:28:03,383
- Another time.
- Mm-hmm.
631
00:28:03,416 --> 00:28:05,018
What was I saying?
632
00:28:05,051 --> 00:28:07,854
I'm amazing.
633
00:28:07,887 --> 00:28:09,356
Did you see that?
634
00:28:09,389 --> 00:28:11,891
Canceled a coffee run
'cause she wasn't interested.
635
00:28:11,925 --> 00:28:15,762
That's not Darwin.
That's Don Juan.
636
00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:18,832
This thing is over.
637
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:20,533
Sorry, Andy.
638
00:28:20,567 --> 00:28:23,236
Jim, time for your review.
639
00:28:23,269 --> 00:28:25,939
No, it's not, because
you don't really work here.
640
00:28:25,972 --> 00:28:28,174
Why are you
so staunchly defending
641
00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:30,944
your friend
who has abandoned you?
642
00:28:30,977 --> 00:28:34,047
Wouldn't you rather
come talk with me?
643
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,549
Maybe definitely
get a raise?
644
00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:37,951
See, that's the thing--
645
00:28:37,984 --> 00:28:39,853
I don't know
if you can even give raises.
646
00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:43,323
Jim, have you ever heard of
a character named Tinker Bell?
647
00:28:43,356 --> 00:28:46,092
- Yes.
- I'm Tinker Bell.
648
00:28:46,126 --> 00:28:47,560
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
649
00:28:47,594 --> 00:28:51,498
I'm a magical fairy
who floated into your office
650
00:28:51,531 --> 00:28:54,934
to bring a little bit
of magic into your lives,
651
00:28:54,968 --> 00:28:57,470
to give you all raises.
652
00:28:57,504 --> 00:28:59,272
And we are grateful.
653
00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:02,208
But here's the thing
about Tinker Bell, Jim.
654
00:29:02,242 --> 00:29:05,178
Everyone has to believe in her,
655
00:29:05,211 --> 00:29:07,080
or she doesn't exist.
656
00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:10,483
- She dies.
- She dies!
657
00:29:10,517 --> 00:29:12,819
Now, who here...
658
00:29:12,852 --> 00:29:14,954
believes in Tinker Bell?
659
00:29:14,988 --> 00:29:16,489
Let's see it.
Show of hands.
660
00:29:16,523 --> 00:29:17,924
- I do.
- Oh!
661
00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:20,994
Come on, everyone.
662
00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:22,962
All right, guys, stop.
663
00:29:22,996 --> 00:29:25,231
- I already spent the money.
- How?
664
00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:27,233
Come on, Jim,
you're killing her.
665
00:29:27,267 --> 00:29:32,105
We believe!
We believe!
666
00:29:32,138 --> 00:29:35,108
Look at
this wonderful recognition
667
00:29:35,141 --> 00:29:36,476
of Nellie's leadership.
668
00:29:36,509 --> 00:29:38,244
I believe!
669
00:29:44,351 --> 00:29:49,022
That did not go
how I wanted it to.
670
00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:51,157
Ugh.
671
00:29:51,191 --> 00:29:52,992
I have a whole ton
of Erin's favorite food
672
00:29:53,026 --> 00:29:55,595
for the drive back,
eggplant parm.
673
00:29:58,665 --> 00:30:02,068
It's biodegradable.
Animals will eat it.
674
00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:05,972
Andy, wait!
Andy!
675
00:30:06,006 --> 00:30:08,274
Andy, wait!
Andy, don't go!
676
00:30:08,308 --> 00:30:10,043
Andy, I love you!
Stop!
677
00:30:10,076 --> 00:30:12,979
Oh, this is the wrong Prius.
678
00:30:13,013 --> 00:30:14,014
I don't love you.
679
00:30:14,047 --> 00:30:15,315
- Erin!
- I'm sorry.
680
00:30:17,617 --> 00:30:19,486
Andy.
681
00:30:34,034 --> 00:30:35,168
Let's get out of here.
682
00:30:35,201 --> 00:30:36,436
- Okay.
- Let's go.
683
00:30:36,469 --> 00:30:38,204
Wait, we have to go back
and get your stuff.
684
00:30:38,238 --> 00:30:39,305
No, I don't
have any stuff.
685
00:30:39,339 --> 00:30:41,007
Like, your toothbrush
and stuff.
686
00:30:41,041 --> 00:30:43,109
- I don't have one.
- You don't have a toothbrush?
687
00:30:43,143 --> 00:30:45,111
No.
688
00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:47,313
How do you not
have a toothbrush?
689
00:30:47,347 --> 00:30:48,915
I just--
there's always one around.
690
00:30:48,948 --> 00:30:50,583
You just use
whichever one's sitting there?
691
00:30:50,617 --> 00:30:51,584
I always find one.
692
00:30:51,618 --> 00:30:53,586
Have you ever heard
of buying a toothbrush?
693
00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:55,388
Of course.
I own my toothbrush.
694
00:30:59,192 --> 00:31:00,360
{\an8}I grew up poor.
695
00:31:00,393 --> 00:31:02,262
{\an8}I had littleformal education,
696
00:31:02,295 --> 00:31:03,563
{\an8}no real skills.
697
00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:05,498
{\an8}I don't workespecially hard,
698
00:31:05,532 --> 00:31:07,534
{\an8}and most of my ideasare either unoriginal
699
00:31:07,567 --> 00:31:09,069
{\an8}or total crap.
700
00:31:09,102 --> 00:31:12,205
{\an8}And yet,I walked right into a job
701
00:31:12,238 --> 00:31:15,375
{\an8}for which I wasill-prepared, ill-suited,
702
00:31:15,408 --> 00:31:17,410
{\an8}and somebody elsealready had,
703
00:31:17,444 --> 00:31:19,279
{\an8}and I got it.
704
00:31:19,312 --> 00:31:23,450
{\an8}If you ask me, that's
the American Dream right there.
705
00:31:23,483 --> 00:31:26,519
{\an8}Anything can happen to anyone.
706
00:31:26,553 --> 00:31:29,122
{\an8}It's just random.
50961
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