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1
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:14,314
Ah.
2
00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:17,150
Ugh.
3
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:22,789
Ugh.
4
00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:24,157
God.
5
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,535
Who put this away empty?
6
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,270
Is it empty?
7
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:39,139
Hey, it's not my job
to order coffee.
8
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:40,573
I order tea.
9
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:46,212
Oh, Andy, corporate is
faxing you something huge.
10
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:49,449
What?
11
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:50,817
200 pages?
12
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,686
Yeah--but including
the cover page.
13
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,287
And it's not reading.
14
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,289
It mostly looks like forms
you need to fill out.
15
00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,525
Like a Mad Libs.
16
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,660
That's it!
17
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,429
There are so many thingsthat happen throughout the day
18
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,830
that really get you down.
19
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,298
How do I deal
with getting down?
20
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,134
I get down. Yeah.
21
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:09,602
Specifically down to
the warehouse,
22
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,439
where I really get down...
to business.
23
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:15,575
What business?
The business of getting down.
24
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,448
Val, I need this space.
25
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,415
All right, guys, clear out.
26
00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:23,616
Everybody out.
27
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:24,851
Promise me
you're gonna clean up.
28
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:27,320
I can't promise
what I'm gonna do or not do.
29
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,456
- Promise me that--
- Obviously I'm gonna clean up.
30
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:32,325
Stress is like
the uptight mayor of a town
31
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,828
who's saying, "Hey, we're
uptight. You can't dance."
32
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:37,330
And then you have to be like,
"Oh, yeah, Mayor Stress?
33
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,598
Well, watch this."
34
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,900
And then we dance.
35
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,738
Oh, how we dance.
36
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:51,878
* *
37
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,620
* I been workin' so hard *
38
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:03,623
* I'm punchin' my card *
39
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,326
* Eight hours for what? *
40
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:09,195
* Oh, tell me what I got *
41
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,865
* I got this feeling *
42
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:15,235
* That time's justholdin' me down *
43
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,641
Sex also works.
44
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:31,785
{\an8}* *
45
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,833
Hey.
Jim's back from jury duty.
46
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:48,635
Hey! Tuna!
47
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,570
He's back.
48
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,806
{\an8}- Hey.
Oh, look at this.
49
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,975
{\an8}- Tuna wrap.
Okay.
50
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,511
{\an8}- Hand roll.
Yeah.
51
00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,579
{\an8}How was jury duty?
52
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:00,814
{\an8}Pretty uneventful, actually.
53
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,848
{\an8}Can't believe they let
54
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,283
{\an8}someone like you
serve on a jury.
55
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:05,518
{\an8}Makes me question
the whole judicial system.
56
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:06,453
{\an8}I have a recurring nightmare
57
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,854
{\an8}that I've been wrongly accused
of a crime
58
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,889
{\an8}and 12 of these idiots
are on the jury.
59
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,558
{\an8}Stanley is fast asleep.
60
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,293
{\an8}Kevin eats the evidence.
61
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,628
{\an8}Phyllis' name is Allison,
but it really is Phyllis.
62
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,765
{\an8}Jim is foreman of the jury
and pronounces me guilty.
63
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,300
{\an8}The cop takes me away,
64
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,701
{\an8}tells me that I've been
a bad boy,
65
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,536
{\an8}and we have sex in the hall.
66
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,905
{\an8}She leaves the handcuffs on.
67
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,575
{\an8}They take me away to prison.
68
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:31,444
{\an8}The guards are all women.
69
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:32,779
{\an8}
70
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:33,947
{\an8}What was the case?
71
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,548
{\an8}- Uh, hit-and-run.
Ooh.
72
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,851
{\an8}"The case of the hit-and-run."
That's exciting.
73
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,419
{\an8}- Did you send him
to the slammer?
74
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:40,854
{\an8}Nope, not guilty.
75
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,455
{\an8}- Of course you found him
not guilty.
76
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,424
{\an8}
"Oh, he apologized,
77
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:46,860
{\an8}and I just really want him
to like me. Mm."
78
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,094
{\an8}We're best friends, actually.
79
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,530
{\an8}We're going wine-tasting next
weekend if you want to come.
80
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,831
{\an8}Not coming, have plans.
81
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,299
{\an8}Okay.
82
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,402
{\an8}I did get called in
to jury duty.
83
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,370
{\an8}And they released me
around noon,
84
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,339
{\an8}so didn't think it was worth it
85
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,608
{\an8}to come back to work
for a half day.
86
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,010
{\an8}And then the next morning,
Pam was a little overwhelmed
87
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:08,014
{\an8}with the kids, so I took
an extra day to help out.
88
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:11,551
{\an8}And then
three other days happened.
89
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:12,886
{\an8}-
Ah!
90
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,721
{\an8}- Angela had the baby!
91
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,022
{\an8}Is it Black?
92
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,824
{\an8}'Cause that would be
hilarious.
93
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,893
{\an8}Why?
94
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,061
{\an8}You know.
95
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,362
{\an8}Would it be more hilarious
96
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,564
{\an8}than Angela having
a Chinese baby?
97
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,633
{\an8}A little bit, yeah.
98
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,034
{\an8}Right, guys?
Back me up.
99
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,736
Eh, a little bit.
100
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,538
Oh, did I win the pool?
101
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,006
Uh...no.
102
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,774
Right month, wrong year.
103
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:35,842
Well, no one won the pool.
104
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,444
Angela wasn't due
for another month.
105
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,812
Premature babies
actually make it
106
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,647
an easier trip
through the birth canal.
107
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,848
My kid destroyed me.
108
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,483
Ugh, I'm never having kids.
109
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:44,884
Oh, no,
you'll make a great mother.
110
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,453
Oh! I just got the email.
111
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,854
- We all did.
- Let's see.
112
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,390
"6:14 a.m.
Angela Martin Lipton gave birth
113
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:53,493
to Phillip Halsted Lipton,
a 5 pound 3 ounce baby boy."
114
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,627
We all got it, I said.
115
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,130
It says, "Mother and baby
are healthy and happy."
116
00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:58,898
We should all go
to the hospital and visit her.
117
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,534
- Eh...
- Oh, I'd love to, but, um--
118
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,870
Aw, man, I would,
but I can't miss any more work.
119
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:05,472
Well, Kevin and I have to go
120
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,440
because accounting
is its own little family.
121
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,543
Yeah, Oscar's the dad,
I'm Oscar's dad,
122
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,545
and Angela's my mom.
123
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,848
Everyone,
our very own Angela--
124
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,082
We all got the email.
125
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,484
Some of us are gonna go visit.
126
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,152
Oh, I am so in.
127
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,554
I love maternity wards.
128
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,890
It's the perfect blend
of love and horror.
129
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:27,761
Things can go so wrong
or so right.
130
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,796
I remember after
the Scranton Strangler trial,
131
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,564
it felt weird being back
in civilian life.
132
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,767
Really?
I feel pretty much the same.
133
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,568
What court case
would consider you
134
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,137
a jury of their peers?
135
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,507
What, did a nerd get caught
masturbating in a record store?
136
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,042
Nice.
137
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,743
Come on, Judge Judy,
tell us your case.
138
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:44,978
What were the deets?
139
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,713
It was actually
a pretty boring case, so--
140
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:48,581
How could it be boring?
You were there for five days.
141
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,650
- Titillate us.
- Yeah, you owe us.
142
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,952
I had to stay until 6:00 twice
to cover for you.
143
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,788
My wife got to the TV first,
144
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,590
had to sit through
"Damn Rizzoli and Damn Isles."
145
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,193
Yeah, my car got smashed
visiting one of your clients,
146
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,995
and I had to
have it detailed,
147
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,530
and they took
my meter change.
148
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,132
- Wow, I'm really sorry.
- Yeah.
149
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,168
I never considered
that my week off
150
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:12,105
would make everyone else's
job harder.
151
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:14,708
Least I could do is give them
a good story.
152
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:15,942
So, Phyllis, he was here,
153
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,444
and then the car came and did--
154
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,079
- it was like that.
- Oh!
155
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,147
Yeah, so it had to be
a double backflip, actually.
156
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,116
You know,
when I was on J-duty, S--
157
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,018
uh, Strangler case--
158
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,454
we used to recreate
the various stranglings
159
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,889
with empanadas from--
at Ernesto's.
160
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,691
Oh, man, Ernesto's.
161
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,526
That was our favorite
restaurant too.
162
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,595
You mean food truck.
Ernesto's was a food truck.
163
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,063
Toby, shut your hole
about the empanadas.
164
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,199
Nobody cares
about the empanadas.
165
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,134
I was in Los Angeles
last year.
166
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,169
Jim tricked me into thinking
I'd won a walk-on part
167
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,605
on "NCIS,"
but that's not important.
168
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:47,507
While I was being
kicked off the lot,
169
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,509
I saw food trucks everywhere.
170
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,177
Everyone in Los Angeles
eats from them.
171
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:55,015
And nobody calls them
"restaurants."
172
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,622
Guys, I don't know
173
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:05,191
how many of you have seen--
Gabe?
174
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,926
Bring it in.
I don't know how many of you
175
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,029
have seen
a premature baby before.
176
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,530
It's gonna be really tiny,
177
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,565
so please don't
say anything offensive.
178
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,667
Got that, bimbo?
179
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,001
Got it, bimbo.
180
00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:17,804
Yes?
181
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,973
Knock, knock.
182
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,574
- Hi.
- Um, uh--
183
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,146
I don't--I don't want--
184
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,681
- what are you guys doing here?
- We wanted to say hi
185
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,215
to the newest little
Dunder Mifflinite.
186
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:33,086
Well, meet our not-so-little
bundle of joy,
187
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,954
Phillip Halsted Lipton.
188
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,690
Phillip is so fat.
189
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:37,557
Kevin.
190
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:38,958
You warned me not
to say anything
191
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,593
if it was tiny, Oscar.
192
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,296
But you didn't prepare me
for a big, giant, fat baby.
193
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:45,565
- Hey.
- Yes, he's substantial.
194
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:48,568
He's more than substantial.
He's a monster.
195
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,138
So this whole
hit-and-run thing,
196
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,574
there's just one part
I can't figure out.
197
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,076
You said it was
at a four-way stop...
198
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,243
Mm-hmm.
199
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,879
And the victim rode
his bicycle
200
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,281
into the left-hand turn lane,
201
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,317
but the perp was already
in the left-hand turn lane?
202
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,251
Mm-hmm.
203
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,253
See, that's what
I'm having trouble with,
204
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,623
because the fact is,
205
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,093
you never said
he was on a bicycle.
206
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,998
Busted, Halpert!
207
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,000
- Yes!
- Wait. No--
208
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,134
Andy, get out here.
209
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,569
I never said
he was on a bicycle.
210
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:23,670
I just said
I wasn't listening to you.
211
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,038
I am making
a citizen's arrest.
212
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,306
You have the right
to remain silent.
213
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,407
You have the right
to beg for mercy.
214
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,909
You have the right to request
judgment by combat.
215
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,011
Dwight's rights.
216
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,946
What's up, gangstas?
217
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,248
Jim was lying
about jury duty.
218
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,684
He was lying the whole time
so he could go do yoga
219
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:38,551
or go canoeing.
220
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,653
I don't know what
this pervert likes.
221
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,688
Fire him!
222
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,858
Dwight, not everything
is a conspiracy theory.
223
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,060
I have Jim on the record
224
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,628
- saying that the vic--
- No. Dwight!
225
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:51,164
I have me on the record
saying to you,
226
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,632
"Take a chill pill."
227
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:53,833
- Okay?
- I don't--I don't
228
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:54,934
- need to take a chill pill.
- One for you.
229
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,336
Here, right there.
230
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,038
- Do you want some water?
- Yes, please.
231
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,379
Down the hatch.
232
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,715
I really don't
want to take the chill pill.
233
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:09,916
Fine.
234
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,117
Attaboy. Good.
235
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,186
Now chill.
236
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,057
Okay, okay.
237
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:21,027
But let's just say that Jim
was lying about jury duty.
238
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,196
You would have
to fire him, right?
239
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,831
Yeah, sure, of course.
240
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,232
I'd fire him to Timbuktu.
241
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,838
Good enough for me.
242
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,013
And Pam was just going crazy
trying to take care of Phillip
243
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:43,650
because Cece has been
out of control recently, and--
244
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,951
look, Andy, it doesn't matter.
245
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,354
The truth is, I just feel
terrible lying to you.
246
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,390
I feel terrible
getting lied to.
247
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,993
No one's ever lied
to me before.
248
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:54,894
Okay.
249
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,130
I think the best thing
to do right now
250
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,965
is just come clean
and tell everybody the truth.
251
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,701
No, not after what I told
Dwight about firing you.
252
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,737
No, here's what we're gonna do.
253
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,439
We're gonna have ourselves
a good old-fashioned cover-up.
254
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,241
You ever heard of
a Connecticut cover-up?
255
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,409
No.
256
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,111
You know why
you never heard of it?
257
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,146
Covered it up.
258
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,248
Are you sure you can
keep this under wraps?
259
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,117
They used to call me King Tut
260
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,986
because I'm so good
at keeping things under wraps.
261
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:20,754
Who called you that?
262
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,688
My two friends
in junior high.
263
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,790
Why? What were you keeping
under wraps?
264
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,692
We were at my friend's
lake house,
265
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:26,726
and we were playing
strip poker--
266
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,061
Okay, see?
You already blew it.
267
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,030
- You just gave it away.
- Tunes, I can do this.
268
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,731
Okay.
269
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,400
Thank God you stopped me.
270
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,236
My nickname was actually
King Butt
271
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,739
because I had
a king-sized butt.
272
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:40,974
But whenever the kids
would call me that,
273
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,809
I would go cry in secret.
274
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:47,313
So...pretty good at secrets.
275
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,023
Where do you want I park?
276
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,425
I can't understand a word
he's saying.
277
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,894
Uh, he said,
"Where do you want I park?"
278
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,263
The street.
Park it on el street.
279
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,031
Aquí?
280
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,934
No, you don't need a key
just to park it on the street.
281
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,269
There's no gate.
282
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,004
It's the street.
283
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:17,911
Okay, everybody,
gather around.
284
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,080
Got a real special surprise
for you.
285
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,448
Ernesto.
286
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,316
Hola, Toby!
287
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,984
Yeah.
288
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,986
Cómo está?
289
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,822
Recuerdo muy bienel señor Toby.
290
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,323
Es un cliente muy bueno.
291
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,460
Uh, I'm gonna say "I"
when I'm talking for Ernesto.
292
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,929
So instead of,
"He says, 'blah blah blah,'"
293
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,997
I'm gonna say,
"I say, 'blah blah blah,'"
294
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,265
but that's for him.
295
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,034
Anyway, it was something like,
296
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,336
"He remembers Toby."
297
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,205
"I remember Toby."
298
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,806
Oh, Jim.
299
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,175
Hey. This guy look familiar?
300
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,477
It's the empanada guy.
301
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,178
- The empanada guy.
- No, Toby!
302
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,346
damn it, Toby!
303
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,281
No, I wasn't asking you.
304
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,184
Ask him if he remembers Jim.
305
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,753
Conoce el Jaime?
306
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,391
Eh...no.
307
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,960
- He says no.
- He says no! Boom!
308
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,495
Yeah, but who remembers
all their customers?
309
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,497
I mean, I can name, like,
three of our clients.
310
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,464
Okay, he remembers Toby,
311
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,900
the most forgettable man
in the known world.
312
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,502
Yeah, but Jim's a chameleon.
313
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,370
I mean, close your eyes
and picture Jim.
314
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,538
No, thank you.
315
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,840
Is he blond?
Is he brunet?
316
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:25,345
Is he fat, skinny, big boobs?
317
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:26,479
Open your eyes.
Surprised?
318
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,381
I am--every time.
319
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,555
Ah, he doesn't want
any trouble.
320
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,091
He sees lots of people.
They come from all around
321
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,093
to eat
his delicious meat pockets.
322
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,395
But certainly
he would remember
323
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,999
this freaky,
crazy-haired weirdo, hm?
324
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:49,436
You don't remember him, do you?
325
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,539
Huh?
326
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,841
Pues...
327
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,509
I say he's hesitant.
328
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,411
Hesitant.
329
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,013
Damn it.
You are useless.
330
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,348
Drag 'em out of here,
both of 'em.
331
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,549
- Get 'em out.
- Ah, da, da.
332
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,217
You promise you buy
my empanadas.
333
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,885
I come.
You buy.
334
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,587
Uh, you guys
are gonna love these.
335
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,123
So empanadas on me.
336
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:10,957
You guys gotta try them.
337
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,926
Usually I'm a burrito guy,
but, uh,
338
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,395
if you won't tell, I won't.
Wink, wink.
339
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,030
Great,
and while we're enjoying
340
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,032
these delicious empanadas, Jim,
341
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,567
why don't you tell us
your story again?
342
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,202
Why?
Everybody's heard it.
343
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,636
Walk us through it.
344
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,572
What time would you get there
every morning?
345
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,008
Hey, "Murder, She Wrote,"
how about we drop
346
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:31,077
the whole "Murder, She Wrote"
thing, okay?
347
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:34,047
Jim was at the courthouse
for jury duty every morning.
348
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,516
How do I know?
Because I drove him there.
349
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,184
Why?
350
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,154
Why? Why?
351
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,457
Because my car broke down.
352
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,026
His car broke down.
353
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,594
So he called me, 'cause
I live near the courthouse.
354
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:50,296
Wait, wait.
You live by the courthouse.
355
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,465
So you drove from near
the courthouse,
356
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,535
out to Jim's house, and then
back to the courthouse?
357
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,171
30 minutes out,
30 minutes back, easy hour.
358
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,073
And I would watch
that cute little tushie
359
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:02,342
scurry up those courthouse
stairs every morning,
360
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,611
and that was that.
361
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:08,982
I'm sorry, do you have
any American Mexican food?
362
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,051
We're getting buried
out there.
363
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,385
What was that stuff
about the car breaking down?
364
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,421
Well, I think
you handled it pretty well.
365
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,955
I'm not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim.
366
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,058
I can't keep spinning gold
out of your.
367
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,493
Okay, listen, all right?
Dwight's on to us.
368
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,095
He's gonna figure it out
really soon.
369
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,997
So let's just get ahead of it.
Let's tell the truth.
370
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:27,367
I don't even know
what the truth is anymore.
371
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,237
Wow, it's so...healthy.
372
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,174
I'm gonna call him
Little Kevin.
373
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,408
No, you will not.
374
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,043
- Is he really 5 pounds?
- Mm-hmm.
375
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,312
Because I squat
with 5 pounds.
376
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,581
This--
377
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:42,682
Yeah, this feels like
more than that.
378
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,453
No, no,
he's 9 pounds, 7 ounces.
379
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,988
9 pounds? Really?
380
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,256
I thought you said 5.
You know what?
381
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,159
I was under so many drugs,
I felt like
382
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:56,963
I was at a James Taylor concert
or something.
383
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,298
So what did you bring?
384
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,401
Oh, yeah, I don't know
if it's right, but--
385
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,738
Well, if it's anything like
that gorgeous wrapping paper,
386
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,273
you hit it out of the park.
387
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:10,143
Oh, preemie pajamas.
388
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,444
Again, it may not be
the right size.
389
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,979
- I can return--
- No.
390
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,448
I think he came early
just so he could wear these.
391
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,650
Thank you.
392
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:21,021
What did you bring, Gabe?
393
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:23,690
Oh, uh, this was
so last-minute
394
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,458
'cause of the preemie thing.
395
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,660
Not my fault. But, uh...
396
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,731
I might have something
in my trunk,
397
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:35,035
mabye a--a onesie or something.
398
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,339
I got Little Kevin
"Call of Duty."
399
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,741
This baby is clearly
not premature.
400
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,743
They're lying about the date
it was conceived.
401
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,679
It's very interesting.
402
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,714
And her husband's gay.
403
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:51,017
I don't even know
which thread to follow.
404
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,092
Uh, excuse me, can I have
405
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,327
everyone's attention
for a second?
406
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,163
First off, I just want to say
that I'm really sorry.
407
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,065
I didn't know that my absence
last week
408
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,800
would have been a burden
on any of you,
409
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:10,303
because though I did have
jury duty last week,
410
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,740
they did dismiss me
early on Monday.
411
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,310
And I think you're gonna
find this pretty hilarious.
412
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:22,615
I kind of, uh, well,
maybe took the week off.
413
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,050
What?
414
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,452
Funny? No?
Nobody laughing?
415
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,622
You're screwed!
416
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,758
Ah, it's happening.
417
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,360
It's really happening.
418
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,062
What the hell, Jim?
I covered for your bony butt.
419
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,264
Pam really needed some help
with the kids, so--
420
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,100
I promise my intentions
were good.
421
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,434
Your clients,
they're all mine.
422
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,803
Hey, I would love to be home
with my boy.
423
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,339
By the time I get there,
party's over,
424
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,842
I'm just drinking what I find
in the cups.
425
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,111
Jim, I got my ass chewed out
426
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,446
because one of your orders
got messed up.
427
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,648
And, Andy, you said you drove
him to the courthouse.
428
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,119
Uh, I did, every morning.
429
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,354
And if I didn't,
then I hope I die.
430
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,689
All right, well,
431
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,325
let's get this show
on the road.
432
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,694
Shall we?
Allow me to give you a hand.
433
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:11,231
Here we are.
So long, clump-mate.
434
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,799
I'm going to miss you.
435
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,167
Truth be told, I never thought
436
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,302
that this was
how it was gonna end.
437
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,405
I always thought I was gonna
defeat you somehow.
438
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,473
But you've defeated yourself.
439
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,876
Dwight, cut it out.
I'm not firing Jim.
440
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,310
No, no, no, no.
You said--
441
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,479
- you said you were--
- I know what I said.
442
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:29,115
Jim, you're in deep doo-doo.
443
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,684
Do you understand?
444
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,785
And I have one thing
to say to you,
445
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,421
and I'm gonna say it
in front of this whole office.
446
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,189
Look me in the eye.
447
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,494
That's it?
448
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,863
This is crap!
449
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,900
You've reached Gabe Lewis.
450
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,234
- Damn it.
- I'm currently indisposed.
451
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,903
Leave me a message.Ciao.
452
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,271
Gabe, it's Dwight again.
453
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,373
Highest priority,
triple-urgent.
454
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,576
Call me immediately.
That means ASAP.
455
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,678
I'm gonna find Gabe,
tell him what Jim did,
456
00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:02,182
and let the little stickler
do what he does best: stickle.
457
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,817
- Shh.
- Honestly, I can return this
458
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,452
for a larger size.
459
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,453
It's fine.
460
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,521
Pajamas aren't supposed
to be baggy, right?
461
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,157
It's not the barrio.
462
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,859
The only premature baby
in this room
463
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,594
is the baby this baby ate.
464
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:18,865
Little Kevin.
465
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,533
- Really?
- Angela.
466
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,836
Fine. God.
467
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,738
Phillip was conceived
nine months ago.
468
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:29,309
The senator and I
wanted to wait,
469
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,277
but we had just seen "Thor,"
470
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,680
and there was way too much wine
in my chicken piccata.
471
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,548
- Chicken marsala.
- Right.
472
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,550
And point is...
473
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,419
Phillip was conceived
out of wedlock.
474
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,453
Mm.
475
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:43,757
And now you all know,
but you can never tell.
476
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,359
I'm serious.
477
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,862
I would love for everyone
to just forgive me,
478
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,930
but if that's not happening,
479
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,500
I'm not averse to just
buying them all off.
480
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,812
All right, guys.
481
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,514
You know how we all like
the red licorice,
482
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:10,650
but it's always buried behind,
like, a ton of black licorice?
483
00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:12,218
Bought it all.
484
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,553
Now it's like Red City
in there.
485
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,454
So enjoy it.
486
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,990
Moneybags.
Must be nice.
487
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,892
So you effectively spent,
488
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,394
what, $4 on the entire office?
489
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,630
I can't get a handle on it.
Am I cheap or rich?
490
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,499
- I can't--
- You're nothing.
491
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:30,403
When I think about all the gas
money I spent on you
492
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:31,671
- washing my car to make sure--
- All right.
493
00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:33,673
Well, enjoy the red licorice.
494
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:35,375
And good riddance, right?
495
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:36,443
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
496
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:39,913
So you just gonna throw away
perfectly good food?
497
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,815
It's not really food, right?
498
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,950
I'm really hating
this Jim guy.
499
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,919
Okay, okay, okay.
500
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,354
I know what you can do, Jim.
501
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,521
Take those black licorice,
502
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,423
then go get some
of those red licorice.
503
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,959
Take 'em in your hand,
roll 'em up real tight--
504
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,260
And shove it up my butt.
505
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,562
Damn it, Jim!
506
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,864
You stole my afternoons,
now you stole my line.
507
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,399
It's not
"shove it up your butt."
508
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:03,570
It's, I'll kill ya!
I'll kill ya dead!
509
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,871
Eat it.
510
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:05,939
I'm not gonna eat it.
511
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,974
Eat it.
512
00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:09,409
- I'm not gonna--
- Eat it!
513
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,648
They hate me, Pam.
514
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:16,716
They don't hate you.
515
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,318
No, it's bad.
516
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,819
Darryl canceled go-karting.
517
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:22,322
- When were you goinggo-karting with Darryl?
518
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,724
It's a lunch thing.
519
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:27,427
- All right, just don't worry.We'll figure this out.
520
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,729
I feel like a stranger
in my own country.
521
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:30,864
Okay, drama.
522
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,532
Okay, well, hey,
you're not here.
523
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,434
You don't know, okay?
It's intense.
524
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:37,037
They made me eat
black licorice.
525
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:41,307
Dwight. Hey.
526
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,709
Oh, hey.
Have you seen Gabe?
527
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,612
He went to the car or
something, but he'll be back.
528
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,013
Okay.
529
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,684
Don't you want
to see the baby?
530
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,018
Pfft. Why?
531
00:20:52,052 --> 00:20:54,354
I know what Angela
and the senator look like.
532
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:57,457
I can mash that up
in my head right now.
533
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,894
I promised I wouldn't tell.
534
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,629
So don't.
535
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:06,666
Angela got pregnant
before the wedding.
536
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,502
What?
537
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,603
She got pregnant
before the wedding.
538
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:11,638
How long before?
539
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,073
A month.
540
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:19,979
You didn't hear it from me.
541
00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:21,514
Yes, I did.
542
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:28,822
- Dwight?
- Dwight.
543
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:29,889
I want to see the baby.
544
00:21:29,923 --> 00:21:31,858
Oh, Angela will make you
cut your fingernails.
545
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,660
It's not worth it.
546
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,130
Yes.
547
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,733
Oh. What a beautiful child.
548
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:44,871
Prominent forehead,
short arms, tiny nose.
549
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,474
You will lead millions...
550
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,010
Willingly or as slaves.
551
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:51,711
That baby is a Schrute.
552
00:21:51,745 --> 00:21:54,514
And unless
somebody taught Mose sex,
553
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:57,784
that baby is mine.
554
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,152
He's hungry.
555
00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:01,521
Oh, that's my cue to leave.
556
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,123
No, you don't have to,
I'm gonna wear this cover.
557
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,525
Still. Still.
558
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,527
You won't see--
559
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:10,730
You want the giraffe?
560
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:12,799
Yes, I am bringing my kids in
561
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,034
to help me get outof this hole.
562
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:15,735
And you all remember
my beautiful wife, Pam.
563
00:22:15,769 --> 00:22:17,671
Hi.
564
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:19,773
Wow, I really thought I'd be
more excited to be here.
565
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,608
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
game face, baby, game face.
566
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:22,575
Oh, right, okay.
567
00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:23,777
Hey, Stanley!
568
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:24,844
- It's great to see you!
- Whoa, no, no.
569
00:22:24,878 --> 00:22:26,780
- That's overdoing it, I think.
- Oh, hi, Stanley.
570
00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,181
- Split the difference?
- Jim--
571
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:29,482
Okay, let's go.
572
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,951
Hi.
573
00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:33,753
- Hey.
- Hi, everybody.
574
00:22:33,787 --> 00:22:35,689
What?
575
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:36,856
How about a little visit?
576
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:39,893
Wow, what a surprise.
That's crazy.
577
00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:41,761
You guys get to meet
the little heck-raisers.
578
00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:43,663
Hey, Angela's back
with her baby.
579
00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:45,632
Yes, well,
you guys all know Cece,
580
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,734
but we wanted to introduce you
to baby Phillip.
581
00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:53,807
You guys.
582
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,942
He's licking on my finger,
just like my cat does.
583
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:57,077
Let me have a turn.
584
00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:58,578
No, it's the pacifier's turn.
585
00:22:58,611 --> 00:22:59,879
- All right.
- Hey, Pam.
586
00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:02,816
They are so young
and so in need of their mom.
587
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:05,485
Yeah, well, they--
they have their mom, so...
588
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:09,756
I'm out of a job as soon as
Pam gets tired of those brats.
589
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:12,726
Hey, maybe I could be
her nanny.
590
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:13,727
My friend's a nanny.
591
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,096
We could just hang out
at the park together.
592
00:23:16,129 --> 00:23:18,565
Oh, my God, I went to college.
593
00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:20,700
Did you say something
about this one
594
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:22,569
bringing in something
for these people?
595
00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:24,871
Yes.
596
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:28,174
Cece wanted to thank everybody
for letting her daddy stay home
597
00:23:28,208 --> 00:23:30,243
with her all last week
and play,
598
00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:31,978
so she brought you
a little treat.
599
00:23:32,012 --> 00:23:33,046
Cookies?
600
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,848
No, but that would've been
a really good idea.
601
00:23:34,881 --> 00:23:36,082
That would've been
really good.
602
00:23:36,116 --> 00:23:38,618
No, she brought you drawings.
603
00:23:38,651 --> 00:23:39,819
- Mm.
- Oh, my goodness.
604
00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:41,521
Let's take a look at these.
605
00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:44,057
They're usually amazing,
so let's see.
606
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,059
Yup, they are.
607
00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,595
- Uncle Andy.
- Oh!
608
00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:49,829
- Oh, Aunt Phyllis.
- Oh.
609
00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:51,731
Wow, these are incredible.
610
00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:53,133
Cece, did you do these?
611
00:23:53,166 --> 00:23:54,234
No.
612
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:55,935
She says "no" to everything.
613
00:23:55,969 --> 00:23:57,937
You know, she thinks
my name is "no."
614
00:23:57,971 --> 00:24:00,006
Cece, do you want
some broccoli?
615
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,007
Yes.
616
00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:02,976
No.
617
00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:04,010
It's crazy.
618
00:24:04,044 --> 00:24:05,612
Why am I shorter
than the table
619
00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,614
that I'm standing next to?
620
00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,716
There's cross-hatching
in some of these.
621
00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:11,885
That's kind of advanced
for a two-year-old.
622
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:15,021
Cece, this is your
big sister Kelly.
623
00:24:15,055 --> 00:24:16,923
Did you color
this pretty picture?
624
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:17,791
No.
625
00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:21,161
So then this means
nothing to you.
626
00:24:21,194 --> 00:24:25,565
Hey, Cece, why don't you
draw another picture for us
627
00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:27,934
exactly like this one,
628
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,904
or at least
in the exact same style?
629
00:24:30,937 --> 00:24:32,072
You know what?
I don't think you need
630
00:24:32,105 --> 00:24:33,873
to do things on command.
631
00:24:33,907 --> 00:24:35,909
That's very weird.
I'll just take that.
632
00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:37,577
Thank you.
I think we should just
633
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,212
wrap up the show,
kiddos, right?
634
00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:40,780
- Mama.
- Shh.
635
00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:42,682
I don't know what else
we can do here.
636
00:24:42,716 --> 00:24:43,883
Mama, mama, mama.
637
00:24:43,917 --> 00:24:45,652
- Okay, all right.
- Oh, it's okay, sweetie.
638
00:24:45,685 --> 00:24:47,120
- All right, all right.
- It's okay, sweetie.
639
00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:49,656
- All right, okay.
- It's okay, honey.
640
00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:52,258
It's okay. It's okay.
641
00:24:52,292 --> 00:24:53,960
All right, I know, I know.
642
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,328
- Shh.
- Let's just get this.
643
00:24:55,362 --> 00:24:56,730
Mama!
644
00:24:56,763 --> 00:24:59,699
Angela, this child
is definitely mine.
645
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:01,267
He looks just like me.
646
00:25:01,301 --> 00:25:02,902
Every baby looks
just like you.
647
00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:04,704
Your face kind of looks
like a baby.
648
00:25:04,738 --> 00:25:06,806
Need I remind you
that we were together
649
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,109
a month before the wedding?
650
00:25:09,142 --> 00:25:11,211
That is completely untrue.
651
00:25:11,244 --> 00:25:12,278
Completely true.
652
00:25:12,312 --> 00:25:13,313
- Remember?
- No.
653
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:15,081
You said that Robert
was not fulfilling you...
654
00:25:15,115 --> 00:25:16,649
- I did not. Uh-uh.
- And I said,
655
00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:17,350
"I bet I could fulfill you,"
and you said,
656
00:25:17,384 --> 00:25:18,685
"I'd like to see you try,"
657
00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:19,652
and then I kissed you
with the force
658
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:20,653
of a thousand waterfalls.
659
00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:21,988
That didn't happen.
660
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,289
And then I inserted
my penis...
661
00:25:23,323 --> 00:25:24,324
- No! Stop it.
- Into your...
662
00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:26,092
- Dwight.
- Vagina, and--
663
00:25:26,126 --> 00:25:27,994
And even if it did,
it's just a coincidence.
664
00:25:28,028 --> 00:25:29,229
- Admit that there is a chance.
- I will not.
665
00:25:29,262 --> 00:25:31,965
- Admit it, admit it.
- I will not, it's not--
666
00:25:31,998 --> 00:25:32,866
All done?
667
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:34,234
- Yeah.
- Yes. Yes.
668
00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:35,268
- Mm.
- He's sleeping.
669
00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:37,237
Before I go, may I?
670
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:38,972
Sure.
671
00:25:39,005 --> 00:25:41,708
Watch the head,
watch the head.
672
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:53,720
Nurse, you know that baby
in there, baby Phillip?
673
00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:55,255
Cancel the circumcision.
674
00:25:55,288 --> 00:25:56,890
Who are you?
675
00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:01,061
I just might be his father.
676
00:26:01,094 --> 00:26:04,330
I don't know
what that means.
677
00:26:04,364 --> 00:26:06,733
We're gonna circumcise him.
678
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:08,802
I know, bud, I know.
679
00:26:08,835 --> 00:26:09,869
Cece, you want to come?
680
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:11,004
- Want to come out?
- No.
681
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:12,872
Want to come play?
Oh, bud, I know.
682
00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:13,973
Do you have a pacifier
or anything?
683
00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:15,742
Yeah, I'm looking.
I'm looking for the pacifier.
684
00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,377
- Cece.
- Okay, we're going.
685
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:19,746
Okay, okay, we gotta go.
All right, we're going home,
686
00:26:19,779 --> 00:26:20,880
we're going home.
We're going home.
687
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:23,383
We're going home.
I know, I know, bud.
688
00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:26,086
- Shh, shh, shh.
- I know. I know.
689
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:27,754
- You want to grab her?
- I'm gonna grab her, okay.
690
00:26:27,787 --> 00:26:29,255
Yeah, okay.
Here we go.
691
00:26:29,289 --> 00:26:30,790
- Here we go.
- Hi. All right.
692
00:26:30,824 --> 00:26:31,925
I'm just gonna go down
to the car,
693
00:26:31,958 --> 00:26:33,827
and I'm going to put her
in her seat,
694
00:26:33,860 --> 00:26:35,695
and I'll be right back up.
695
00:26:35,729 --> 00:26:37,797
Eh, we'll see you tomorrow.
696
00:26:37,831 --> 00:26:38,832
No, no, it's okay,
I'll be right back.
697
00:26:38,865 --> 00:26:39,966
No, just go home.
698
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,202
It's all good,
we got this.
699
00:26:42,235 --> 00:26:43,903
I have a kid.
700
00:26:43,937 --> 00:26:47,173
Last week, Jim at home?
701
00:26:47,207 --> 00:26:49,242
That was no vacation.
702
00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:50,777
- Jim.
- Just go.
703
00:26:50,810 --> 00:26:53,013
Hey, we'll be just fine.
704
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:56,383
Thanks, guys.
705
00:26:56,416 --> 00:26:59,185
All right, here we go,
let's go.
706
00:26:59,219 --> 00:27:01,287
Oh.
707
00:27:01,321 --> 00:27:02,789
Phew.
708
00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:13,933
Dwight, what the hell?
709
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:15,468
You can't smoke in here.
710
00:27:15,502 --> 00:27:17,971
Oh, right.
711
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:20,473
The office looks different now.
712
00:27:20,507 --> 00:27:23,376
Hm. Smaller.
713
00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:25,378
Maybe I just feel bigger.
714
00:27:25,412 --> 00:27:26,846
Hello, Gabe.
715
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,982
You had something important
to tell me?
716
00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:30,817
Oh, you know, I did,
717
00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:33,820
but now it seems
infinitely insignificant.
718
00:27:33,853 --> 00:27:36,156
Jim? Oh, right.
719
00:27:36,189 --> 00:27:37,891
Nah, forget it.
720
00:27:37,924 --> 00:27:39,359
He was doing it for his kids.
721
00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:40,460
I get it.
722
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:43,096
Kids drive us dads crazy.
723
00:27:43,129 --> 00:27:44,998
Sometimes I feel likethey're raising us.
724
00:27:45,031 --> 00:27:47,167
Am I right?
725
00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:56,876
Everyone, this is Officer
Foley from the Scranton PD.
726
00:27:56,910 --> 00:27:58,078
Works down at the courthouse.
727
00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:00,013
I think he has something
he'd like to say.
728
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,349
I understand that, uh,
some of you don't believe
729
00:28:02,382 --> 00:28:05,051
that Mr. Bernard drove his
friend into the courthouse
730
00:28:05,085 --> 00:28:06,886
for jury duty last week.
731
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,855
Correction: We don't care.
732
00:28:08,888 --> 00:28:10,523
Hey, aren't you an actor?
733
00:28:10,557 --> 00:28:12,325
- No.
- Weren't you in "Sweeney Todd"
734
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,260
- last year with Andy?
- Uh, no.
735
00:28:14,294 --> 00:28:17,364
You hired your actor friend
to come here as a cop?
736
00:28:17,397 --> 00:28:21,401
That is so offensive
and ridiculous.
737
00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:23,903
- I--
- So if I started singing
738
00:28:23,937 --> 00:28:25,372
"Down by the Old Mill Stream,"
739
00:28:25,405 --> 00:28:27,207
you couldn't join me
in three-part harmony?
740
00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:32,078
* Down by the *
741
00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:35,482
* Down by the *
742
00:28:36,983 --> 00:28:38,218
* Down by the *
743
00:28:38,251 --> 00:28:42,222
all:
* Old Mill Stream *
744
00:28:42,255 --> 00:28:46,893
* When I first met you *
745
00:28:46,926 --> 00:28:51,998
* Down by the Old Mill *
746
00:28:52,032 --> 00:28:53,366
* Stream *
747
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:58,972
* The Old Mill Stream *
748
00:29:02,442 --> 00:29:04,477
Oh, shoot.
749
00:29:04,511 --> 00:29:05,512
Mm-hmm.
52872
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