Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,352
Oh.
Oh, God.
2
00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:22,655
Oh, what is this?
A...
3
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,257
a meatball?
4
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:25,458
Really?
5
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,695
It's always more fun
to mess with Dwight
6
00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:29,829
with an audience.
7
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,398
That was usually Pam.
8
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:34,401
So now that she's out,
I had to find someone else.
9
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:38,304
Turns out that Stanley
is quite the comedy fan.
10
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,708
His sense of humor was
a little harder to pin down.
11
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,444
What the...
12
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:47,380
Oh, come on.
13
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:50,684
Not everything
makes him laugh.
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,620
He has very specific tastes.
15
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,223
You don't want to overthink it
16
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:58,591
when you're dealing
with Stanley.
17
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,727
He doesn't go for flash.
18
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,500
Through a painstaking process
of trial and error,
19
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,303
I found out what he likes.
20
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,472
And it's really weird.
21
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:13,673
Jim, come on.
22
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,375
That's so juvenile.
23
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,477
What the...
24
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,412
You've been meatballed.
25
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,580
Ugh.
26
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,649
Are you ready
for some meatball?
27
00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:24,851
Oh, man.
28
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,453
This is not very clever, Jim.
29
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,520
I know.
30
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,589
Look for your stapler.
31
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,828
Really, Jim?
Really?
32
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:39,799
Very funny.
33
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,435
Meatballs--it's just clever.
34
00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:47,907
Okay. Good night.
35
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,388
What's our haul?
36
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,356
32 meatballs.
37
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,325
Good day.
38
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,260
That idiot's
been feeding us for a week.
39
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,496
We'll never have
to buy meatballs again.
40
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,268
{\an8}
41
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:22,275
{\an8}* *
42
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,668
Dunder Mifflin.
43
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,804
Jessica.
Hi, how are you?
44
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,439
Oh, yay,
that's so great to hear.
45
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,407
{\an8}I'm not going to be
one of those exes
46
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,675
{\an8}who can't move on.
47
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:56,943
{\an8}They have their life,
and I have mine.
48
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:58,712
{\an8}I'm taking an Italian class.
49
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,747
{\an8}So far, I have learned
50
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:04,417
{\an8}tortellini, spaghettini,
linguini--
51
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,486
{\an8}well, it's not so much a class
as a restaurant.
52
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,956
{\an8}But I do Monday, Wednesday,
Friday from 7:00 to 9:00.
53
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,392
{\an8}I will patch you through
right now.
54
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,961
{\an8}You sound really pretty today.
Okay.
55
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,831
{\an8}
56
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,301
{\an8}Jessica, I love you.
57
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,003
{\an8}That's a message
from my mom.
58
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,704
{\an8}My parents met Jessica,
59
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,306
{\an8}and they completely
flipped for her,
60
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,309
{\an8}so they gave me this old
family ring to use on her.
61
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,478
{\an8}I know, whoa,
pump the brakes, Bernard,
62
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,712
{\an8}too early,
I get it.
63
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,614
{\an8}I just, you know,
64
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:36,449
{\an8}I'm just carrying it around,
seeing how it feels.
65
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:39,319
{\an8}I haven't proposed
to anyone in years.
66
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,021
{\an8}Mom took the main diamond out.
67
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,756
{\an8}She thought that had
more of a my-little-brother
68
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,592
{\an8}kind of vibe to it, but...
69
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,427
{\an8}- Ooh.
Looks pretty nice.
70
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,829
{\an8}Got a little bit
of The Shining vibe, though.
71
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,364
{\an8}- Oh, who needs a house
that size?
72
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,999
{\an8}It's like we're
in ancient Rome.
73
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,368
{\an8}- Big, stupid,
pure chump bait.
74
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,303
{\an8}- I'm selling the house,
actually.
75
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,572
{\an8}- You know, there's a glare
from over here.
76
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:02,342
{\an8}Oh, wow.
That's magnificent.
77
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,344
{\an8}- It's mid-recession
in a depressed area
78
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,879
{\an8}of a faltering state,
and I've got
79
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,747
{\an8}the most expensive house
on the market.
80
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,583
{\an8}The 1% are suffering too,
people.
81
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,886
{\an8}Wow, an indoor pool.
82
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,355
{\an8}I've seen the indoors,
and I've seen pools,
83
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:18,091
{\an8}but I never thought
to combine them. Wow.
84
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:20,660
{\an8}I thought of indoor barbecue.
85
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,595
{\an8}Luckily, my neighbor found me.
86
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:25,331
{\an8}- Must get mildewy.
Is that why you're selling?
87
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,068
{\an8}- I bought it
to be my Playboy Mansion.
88
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:32,505
{\an8}A temple to wine, revelry,
sex, intrigue.
89
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,975
This was hot on the heels
of Eyes Wide Shut, mind you.
90
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,344
Then I met my wife.
91
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:40,480
She moved in,
made it her own.
92
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,850
I threw out three dozen
commedia dell'arte masks.
93
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,785
Ugh, what a waste.
94
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,655
Now she's left me and forced
me to sell the place.
95
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:50,056
The ultimate insult--
96
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,392
they're calling my speakeasy
lounge a rumpus room.
97
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,397
Does my turmoil
amuse you, Jim?
98
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,599
I'm sorry. I thought
you were making a joke.
99
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:03,069
What could you possibly
have found funny in what I said?
100
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:06,039
What was the joke
you thought you heard?
101
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,943
I guess I thought
that you were approaching it
102
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,879
with more of a sarcasm
than misery.
103
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,849
Kind of laughing
at your own pain.
104
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,651
- Sad clown thing.
- Oh, yes.
105
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,422
How hilarious it is
to laugh at clowns,
106
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,725
the painted jesters
of the dying circus industry.
107
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,460
Very funny, Jim.
I get it.
108
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:31,564
Um, I'm getting reports
of a serious outbreak
109
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,099
of the grumpies in here.
110
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:38,071
A beautiful monster cost me
my 40s and my dream home.
111
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:42,075
I think I'm entitled
to the occasional bad day.
112
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,845
Well, first of all, please
tell Susan we all say hi.
113
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,748
And secondly, yes, absolutely.
114
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,618
You are entitled to
the occasional grumpy day.
115
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:55,588
Dude, what if,
since you're feeling grumpy,
116
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,057
we all swing by tonight
117
00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,126
- and check out your indoor pool?
- Kevin, no.
118
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,095
What, as some sort
of last hoorah?
119
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:04,497
Yeah.
All of us in the pool,
120
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,932
saying hoorah.
121
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:09,502
Maybe the last one
that says hoorah is it.
122
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,672
Now, I suppose someone
should enjoy the place
123
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,442
before I hand it over
to the staging experts
124
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,477
at RE/MAX tomorrow.
Let's try this.
125
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,814
Everyone, tonight,
my house, wear a swimsuit.
126
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,083
Question: Does the swimsuit
need to be a real swimsuit?
127
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,718
I mean, like
a regulation swimsuit?
128
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,019
I guess what I'm asking is,
129
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,754
is it okay if I wear
cutoff jeans in your pool?
130
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,055
Fine, Dwight.
131
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,158
I'll have Gretchen send
you all my address. 9:00.
132
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,893
Will there be food
at this party?
133
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:38,865
"Party" is a strong word
suggesting Dionysian abandon.
134
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,667
Let's just call it
a get-together.
135
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,503
And let's say no food.
136
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:47,173
Hey, Oscar, was that you
who just created a party
137
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:50,043
out of thin air,
or was it me?
138
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,778
That was you, Kevin.
139
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,013
It was me.
140
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,180
You going tonight, kiddo?
141
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,548
'Cause I can give you a lift.
142
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,783
Oh, I don't know,
Meredith.
143
00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,685
It seems like you
shouldn't drive maybe ever.
144
00:06:58,718 --> 00:06:59,786
It's no problem.
145
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:00,887
You live right near me.
146
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,988
How do you know
where I live?
147
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,891
Andy followed you home after
the Christmas party.
148
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,059
Why?
149
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,560
He wanted to make sure
California didn't
150
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,695
put it in you.
151
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,697
Oh.
Come on.
152
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,803
Wow.
Andy's such a weird stalker.
153
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:20,206
Following me home like that
when he has a girlfriend?
154
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,275
I should get
a restraining order.
155
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,913
- I wore sunscreen.
- Two pools.
156
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,582
A divider. A bridge.
157
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,584
A choice.
158
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,820
Says everything about
everything, right, Robert?
159
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,021
What's the water like?
160
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,257
Oh, it's warm.
161
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,958
It's almost too warm.
162
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:42,095
I'm feeling 82, 82 1/2.
163
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,230
Oh, so close.
81.
164
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:48,034
Well, we'll say it's 82,
and it'll be our secret.
165
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,838
- Hey, late guy.
- Hey.
166
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,039
Wow.
167
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,841
Just stopping by.
168
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,710
Got another party to go to.
169
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,578
A wife and two kids
at home party.
170
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,714
- Oh.
- DJ Pam Halpert is spinning
171
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,717
some serious
Radio Disney tonight.
172
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,186
You're looking at the master
of leaving parties early.
173
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,021
The key is you have to make
a strong impression,
174
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,756
so you want
to have a picture taken,
175
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,691
you want to say
some peculiar non sequitur
176
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,026
that people remember,
177
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,761
you want to note
something unique,
178
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,863
a talking point for later.
179
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,666
I don't mean to brag,
but, New Year's Eve,
180
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,234
I was home by 9:00.
181
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,603
Robert, just wanted
to grab you one second.
182
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,271
This place is amazing,
by the way.
183
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,873
You should see
the whole thing.
184
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:28,808
I bet I should.
185
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,945
That's beautiful.
I'm gonna email that to you.
186
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,146
I'm just about to give
the tour.
187
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,247
- All right.
- Join us.
188
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,281
- Well...
- You must see
189
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,883
what you were laughing about.
190
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:38,852
I must.
191
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,321
Robert's house is, well,
192
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,956
I don't mean
to sound offensive,
193
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,859
but it's like where a
basketball player would live.
194
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,328
Wow.
195
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,601
Yeah.
It's pretty serious poolage.
196
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:57,070
- What are you doing?
- Hmm?
197
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,139
Flicking a bug
off my wiener.
198
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,107
Gross.
199
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,308
I'm getting a drink.
200
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,644
- Do you want anything?
- No, I'm good.
201
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,016
Funny how we can be surrounded
by people
202
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,951
and still feel so lonely.
203
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,754
- Hi.
- Hi.
204
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,690
How is everything?
205
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,191
How's your car?
206
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,627
It's great.
You know.
207
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,029
Reliable.
Great mileage.
208
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,197
Is that so?
209
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,265
How about this weekend
210
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,668
we take that sucker
to a duck pond or something?
211
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:32,238
Maybe get caught
in the rain?
212
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,308
Well, I can't.
I'm going skiing with Jessica.
213
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,844
You know, a couple of dopes
on the slopes.
214
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,079
Oh, like a good-bye trip.
215
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,114
No.
What?
216
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,384
- Hey.
- Hi.
217
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,054
I guess Andy isn't totally
over his current girlfriend.
218
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,123
But if he was jealous
once before,
219
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,925
then maybe I can make him
jealous again.
220
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,226
Just not with Robert.
221
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,261
He told me he was a ride
I wouldn't survive,
222
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,664
and I believe him.
223
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,966
Val.
You made it.
224
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,401
- Yup, yup.
- Uh-oh.
225
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,671
Look at this.
Red plastic cup...
226
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,840
red plastic cup.
How about that?
227
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,743
You know,
you are just as dumb at night.
228
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,711
Mm.
229
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,114
All right, there's--
this would be no problem.
230
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,915
I could swim under,
one breath.
231
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,050
No.
Show me.
232
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,284
- Okay.
- Dive in right here.
233
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,719
In a minute.
In a minute.
234
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:20,954
You don't know
what you're doing.
235
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,255
A minute
would be cool.
236
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,456
Hey, Dwight Snoot.
237
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,058
- What--
- What you doing?
238
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,860
I'm relaxing.
Scram.
239
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,896
Hey, Stanley.
240
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,332
What happened to my pants?
241
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,433
I moved them.
242
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,701
Pants only need a chair
243
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:35,935
if there's a person in them.
244
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,904
Where...
245
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,111
Come on.
Don't you want to play?
246
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,379
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
247
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,947
Yeah, you want to play,
you little hick?
248
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,284
- Whoa.
- Dwight!
249
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,686
- Oh, my gosh.
- Dwight!
250
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,024
Here we have the parlor.
251
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,994
I imagined people
would set down their coats
252
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:04,230
and, symbolically,
their inhibitions.
253
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,866
This was the gateway.
254
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:11,137
You enter this room a lawyer,
a doctor, a teacher, a judge,
255
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,240
but beyond it you're simply
a penis, a vagina,
256
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,010
a hunger, an ache.
257
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,245
Susan used it
as a pilates studio.
258
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,414
Holy cow.
259
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,816
The wine collection.
260
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,351
How many bottles?
300?
261
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,919
About 1,200.
262
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,520
What the hell,
grab a bottle.
263
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,923
Less inventory
for the lawyers.
264
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,092
Toby.
Chateau Margaux '95.
265
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,360
You know your wine.
266
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,496
Well,
and you have a...
267
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,899
yes, a--d--
another Chateau.
268
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,968
- Robert, you are too kind.
- Oh.
269
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,837
"Too kind" doesn't begin
to cover it.
270
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,205
With ammunition like this,
271
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,307
we are in for quite a night,
you and me.
272
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,409
And Gabey makes three.
273
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,211
Robert, thank you.
Thank you for this.
274
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,546
Thank you for all this.
This night's been magical.
275
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,181
Jim, come see
this next room.
276
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,250
I think you especially
would like it.
277
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,385
Really?
Why?
278
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,020
I don't know.
Maybe not.
279
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,221
Just come.
280
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:08,995
Oh!
281
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,865
You regret attacking me now,
hick, huh?
282
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,868
Stop it.
Dwight, I was flirting with you.
283
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,170
I was trying to use you
to make Andy jealous.
284
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,238
I'm not gonna help you.
285
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,040
And why would you choose me?
Because I'm mighty?
286
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,441
'Cause I'm the manliest man
in the office?
287
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,410
I'll do it.
288
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,278
Oh, Dwight.
289
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,850
- Stop.
- You stop.
290
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,552
- No, you stop.
- No, you stop.
291
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,421
Is he looking?
292
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,189
Oh, no?
You can stop.
293
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:37,524
- Okay, you can stop.
- No, no, no, he's not looking.
294
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,858
- No, you can stop.
- You can actually stop.
295
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,527
- Ugh, Dwight.
- Uh-huh.
296
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,563
- That feels so good.
- Yeah, baby.
297
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,032
- Hey, Andy.
- Hey.
298
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,301
Dwight gives the best
back massages.
299
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,869
Yeah, it sounds like it.
300
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,138
Hey, have you ever been
checked for scoliosis?
301
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,006
I don't know.
302
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,874
Why don't you check me,
Dr. Schrute?
303
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,043
No, seriously.
Your spine is jacked.
304
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,012
It's like the devil's cursive.
305
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,881
You mean, more like
dangerous curves.
306
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,483
You'd be like 8 feet tall
307
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,884
if this thing was
straightened out.
308
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,252
Ow.
309
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,587
Whoa, you guys,
310
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,256
I just found
this insane engagement ring.
311
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,891
Is anyone missing this?
312
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,193
The main stone's missing.
313
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,562
I don't know.
It looks pretty great to me.
314
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,399
I just found a ring.
315
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,267
Okay. Back to work, Creed.
316
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:25,071
If that's the treasure game,
you won this life.
317
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:28,375
I pictured myself here
every night eating a leg
318
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,410
of mutton,
the juices dripping
319
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:34,447
down my bare chest,
wiping my fingers on the walls.
320
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,950
Then I met the vegan.
321
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,585
- Good night.
- To the kitchen.
322
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,121
All: To the kitchen.
323
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:45,225
To the kitchen.
324
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,526
Onward.
325
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,328
Toby, what's compelling
about this
326
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,397
is the note of persimmon.
327
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,632
- Right?
- Note? It's a symphony.
328
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,502
Okay, you have to join
my wine tasting club.
329
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,537
I would love that.
330
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:02,142
Toby, you are playing
a dangerous game.
331
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,879
I guess I'm through the gateway
now, though, right?
332
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,084
You know,
333
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:14,120
I don't think I've ever been
in this exact angle before.
334
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,923
I was scared at first,
but I like it.
335
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:19,092
You guys got to try this pool.
336
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,027
No top scum,
no band-aids.
337
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,263
This thing is choice.
338
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,397
You in?
339
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,166
Yeah, sure, sure.
340
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,434
I'll be right in.
341
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:28,535
I've been working out.
342
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,136
But the problem is
343
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,672
I've been building muscle
underneath.
344
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,275
And that top layer
345
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,277
hasn't burned off yet.
346
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,179
Awkward stage.
347
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,114
You know, I bet Robert gave
it to his wife.
348
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,649
You should give it back to him.
349
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,584
Give him his ex's destroyed
engagement ring?
350
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,020
That is cold.
He is upset as it is.
351
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,022
No, we should just let him be,
and I'll keep it.
352
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,660
So good.
353
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,396
Now take a chip,
crush it into my face,
354
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,497
and rub the grease around.
355
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,332
Do it.
Now rub it in.
356
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,601
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, that's so good.
357
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,303
Andy's not even looking.
358
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,172
I think sexy eating
is a dead end.
359
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,173
Damn it.
360
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:11,244
What is the most romantic
possible thing?
361
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:14,314
We can get some chicken fights
going in the pool.
362
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,417
Dwight, that's just--
that's really perfect.
363
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,686
Thank you.
Both: yes!
364
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,325
You're in my way!
365
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,561
Andy, Dwight and I
challenge you and Jess
366
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,063
to a chicken fight.
Winner take all.
367
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,998
- Chicken fight!
- No, thanks.
368
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,034
Dang it.
What the heck already?
369
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,336
Hey, Cathy.
Chicken fight!
370
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,504
Okay, yeah.
371
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,638
Who's gonna be my partner?
372
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,206
Where's Jim?
373
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,343
I'm right here.
374
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,681
Cold.
Cold.
375
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,416
Come on, Cath.
376
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,085
- Yea--oh!
- Yes!
377
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,753
Whoo-hoo!
Yes!
378
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,488
Dwight, our chemistry
is really clicking.
379
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,090
We work so well together.
380
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,659
I know.
I could just bang you right now.
381
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,662
He's not looking.
382
00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:04,330
Hey!
383
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,331
You date a guy.
384
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,067
You find out he was engaged
to your coworker,
385
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,468
so you throw cake at him.
It's over.
386
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,736
You start liking him again,
387
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,237
so you ask him out
with a puppet show.
388
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,073
He says no.
Then he follows you home
389
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,607
to make sure that
you don't kiss somebody.
390
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,509
Then he ignores you
at a pool party?
391
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,511
Am I right, ladies?
392
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,513
I had two bears sewn together
393
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,582
to make this king-size.
394
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:25,151
Total waste of two bears.
395
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,723
- To both these bears.
- To both these bears.
396
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,726
- Bears.
- To both these bears.
397
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,197
When I put in
the screening room,
398
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,567
I bought three movies:
Caligula, Last Tango in Paris,
399
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,203
and Emmanuelle II.
400
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,271
Mwah.
401
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:48,408
Last two movies
I actually watched in here
402
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:52,679
were Marley & Me
and On Golden Pond.
403
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:56,182
I mean, it's clearly meant
for watching erotic cinema.
404
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,284
Yup. We could watch some
right now if you want.
405
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:02,122
I got a Korean film
on my iPod
406
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:05,558
if you want to just--
if you have the cables.
407
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,430
Kelly, that's a crazy ring
you found.
408
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,699
Yeah, thanks. I'm really
glad that I found it.
409
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,833
I can't believe
you're wearing it.
410
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,435
Are you not superstitious
at all?
411
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,836
Shh.
Of course I'm superstitious.
412
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,338
What are you talking about?
413
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,839
The ring of a failed marriage
414
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,409
might have
some sinister energy, right?
415
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:23,743
Am I just being silly?
416
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,278
Oh, I don't think
you're being silly.
417
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,379
Oh, God.
418
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,714
You know what,
I can just sell it
419
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,216
and put the money
in the party fund.
420
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,685
Then another woman
will get it.
421
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,119
We can't allow that.
422
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,688
- We have to destroy it.
- Come on.
423
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,723
Let's chicken fight
those two.
424
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,191
Okay.
425
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,629
- How was that?
- Okay.
426
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,230
Watch my toes.
427
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,867
Hey, Val.
You want a beer?
428
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,402
It might taste better than
429
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,870
that pool water
you've been drinking.
430
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,172
No, I'm good.
Thank you.
431
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,773
- Cool.
- Cool.
432
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,744
Does Darryl not swim?
433
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,913
That's racist.
I don't know.
434
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:02,716
But I would say,
by looking at him,
435
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,851
no, Darryl does not swim.
436
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:07,921
It's all right.
It's all right.
437
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,223
- Yes!
- Yeah!
438
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,894
This room I liked
for the view.
439
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:18,231
I dreamed that I would
watch my guests walk
440
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:21,468
to their cars at dawn,
their faces flush
441
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,536
with the shame and regret
442
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,772
for the choices they made
the night before.
443
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,840
I get that.
444
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,208
Beautiful sentiment.
445
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,910
To the shame room.
446
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,580
To shame.
447
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,215
I live in this room.
448
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,485
Oh, minerally.
449
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,886
Minerally.
450
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,654
Maybe we should take
a little break.
451
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,556
Dwight, we've got this.
452
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:44,591
I promise.
453
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,760
I will not leave your shoulders,
no matter what.
454
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,361
Okay.
455
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,796
One more?
both: Yeah.
456
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,565
Great.
457
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:57,570
Mush, mush, mush.
458
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,605
- Come on.
- Go!
459
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,739
- Go.
- Okay.
460
00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:01,741
Yeah. Okay.
461
00:19:01,775 --> 00:19:03,476
Here we go.
462
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,911
- Yes!
- Yay!
463
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,579
- Yes!
- Whoa!
464
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,981
Wow.
465
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,416
I cannot believe
you're still up.
466
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,551
- I can't believe it either.
- I've got this.
467
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,488
Charge!
468
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,590
Go!
Go!
469
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,493
Dwight, are you okay?
470
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,328
Are you okay?
Hey, damn it--
471
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:32,539
Erin, did we win?
472
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,973
Sure.
473
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,276
Sure, we did.
474
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,777
You're lying.
We didn't win.
475
00:19:37,811 --> 00:19:38,912
Hey.
Hey, Dwight.
476
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,747
It's okay.
Just rest. Just rest.
477
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,483
You've broken up
your last couple, you evil ring.
478
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,386
Do it.
479
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,288
We're in the pool.
480
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,390
- Shut it, Angela.
- Shh.
481
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,892
Ugh, same old party,
same old people.
482
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:54,527
Am I right?
483
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:55,729
Reminds me
of Phyllis's birthday.
484
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,797
Do not remind me
of Phyllis's birthday.
485
00:19:57,831 --> 00:19:59,399
I know.
486
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:00,734
But, boy, that Erin,
487
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,936
she sure is a ripe
little tiger, isn't she?
488
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,572
Rraaaw!
489
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,974
And to think, I always thought
of her as a second Meredith.
490
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,512
Respectfully, I don't want us
walking into a similar
491
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,581
- Angela kind of situation.
- Mm.
492
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,316
So I just want
to make sure
493
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:20,620
that you are completely,
100% done with Erin.
494
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,623
Last I checked,
I'm with Jessica.
495
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:27,494
And I like
to get my monog on.
496
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,429
It's monogamy
for my hog in me.
497
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,997
- Not what I asked.
- We're done.
498
00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:32,732
Erin and I are over.
499
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:36,970
So then you won't mind if
tonight I just go crazy on her,
500
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,706
just go nuts,
rrargh.
501
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,775
With sex.
502
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,009
Have at it.
503
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:44,411
Or take it slow.
504
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,613
Whatever you guys work out.
505
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,385
You're an idiot.
506
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,287
Kelly...
that is mine--
507
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,060
Do you have to splash
so violently?
508
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,528
I'm having fun.
509
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,862
You know? 'Cause it's a party.
510
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:04,497
You're an ape.
511
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,635
- This is mine.
- Uh-uh.
512
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,036
Uh-uh.
513
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,006
- No.
- Oh, I've got him.
514
00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:20,847
Cannonball!
515
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,454
Let's do this.
516
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,762
There it is.
517
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:43,636
* *
518
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,940
- Wow.
- So I kind of stepped on this.
519
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:48,541
I think it's yours.
520
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:49,809
Yeah.
521
00:21:49,843 --> 00:21:51,511
Oh, wow.
522
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,613
How did you know
it was mine?
523
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,882
The Bernard family seal.
Duh.
524
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,419
Duh.
525
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,157
Sorry if your special night
was ruined.
526
00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:06,726
Oh, whoa.
527
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,063
Whoa, no,
it's not a special night.
528
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,665
Oh, you weren't going
to do that?
529
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,434
Honestly, Erin,
I don't know
530
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,935
what I'm doing.
531
00:22:15,969 --> 00:22:20,807
I...
I just...
532
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,542
I don't know.
533
00:22:24,144 --> 00:22:25,645
Thank you.
534
00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:31,718
Andy's confused.
535
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:33,186
That's not
what I was hoping for,
536
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:34,421
but it's not so bad either.
537
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,855
I can live
with confused.
538
00:22:35,889 --> 00:22:37,090
I get confused.
539
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:39,959
I totally get confused.
540
00:22:39,993 --> 00:22:42,462
And of course the pool.
541
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:48,702
The ultimate lubricant
for any wild evening.
542
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:51,871
It was here that my parties
would have crescendoed
543
00:22:51,905 --> 00:22:54,474
into true madness.
544
00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:56,643
To madness.
545
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:57,711
- To madness.
- To madness.
546
00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:58,845
To madness.
547
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,547
To madness!
548
00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:05,552
Hey, I think you parked
my car in.
549
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,686
Is there any way
you can move your van?
550
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,556
I'm sorry. When I got here,
I put my keys in a bowl.
551
00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:10,790
Are you serious?
552
00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:12,726
Wait, I'm the jerk
for thinking
553
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,160
we were gonna swing tonight?
554
00:23:14,194 --> 00:23:16,162
Pfft. Shame on you.
555
00:23:16,196 --> 00:23:17,230
Robert, I want you to know
556
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:19,766
I'm here to rock with you
as late as you want, man.
557
00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:21,568
And that goes double
for me.
558
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:23,837
I'll stay even later
than you'd like.
559
00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:35,815
Toby!
560
00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:37,484
I am Bacchus,
God of wine!
561
00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,652
And I am Bacchus' friend.
562
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,092
Gentlemen, bear witness.
563
00:23:46,126 --> 00:23:48,862
While I've been mourning
the nights that never were,
564
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:52,232
one of them has been unfolding
here before me.
565
00:23:58,171 --> 00:24:01,207
This is no get-together.
566
00:24:01,241 --> 00:24:03,576
This is a party.
567
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:06,913
Yes.
568
00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,288
Bravo!
569
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:16,923
Yes!
570
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,191
Whoo-hoo!
571
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:19,959
Oh, yes.
572
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:26,232
And there's my talking point.
573
00:24:26,266 --> 00:24:28,635
Whoo-hoo!
574
00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:49,923
{\an8}
575
00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:52,225
{\an8}- Yes, that's it.
Push yourselves, boys.
576
00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:56,229
{\an8}It's not a party if you don't
do something that scares you.
577
00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:00,767
{\an8}I need a breather.
578
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,236
{\an8}Oh.
Oh.
579
00:25:04,971 --> 00:25:07,741
{\an8}You two keep going.
580
00:25:07,774 --> 00:25:10,610
{\an8}- Hey, he's asleep.
We can just leave.
581
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:13,179
{\an8}So leave.
582
00:25:13,213 --> 00:25:19,219
{\an8}* *
39908
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof