All language subtitles for T.O.S.E.S08E11.Trivia.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Oh, yeah.

- Ugh.
- Knew it!

- I knew it.
- Kevin!

As soon as I heard
that wrapper.

You really have
to say "Oh, yeah"

every time you eat a candy bar?

I can't help it, Oscar.

It's just really good.

Oh, yeah.

- My hands are tied.
- All right, not bad at all.

I think we can beat
20 minutes though.

So let's try again.

Get it all out now
if you have to.

It was a raccoon eating
a hamburger like a person.

You need to stop banging
your pen on your desk,

- or it's gonna drive me insane.
- Okay, got it.

Does anyone have
a first aid kit?

Check out this song I wrote.

* I'ma love you
downstairs tonight *

All right, here we go.

Everybody get ready
in three, two--

good luck--one.

* *

Love letters, yes.

I love it.

What else can be done
with paper?

You can write a book
about chairs.

Books! Excellent, Jim.

- Ooh, another one--you can
write a book about light bulbs.

Good.

But I'm just gonna
lump that under books.

- Ooh. I'd really prefer if
you put them down separately.

- I'm gonna fight you
on this though.

- I'm gonna fight you back--
Andy, please.

Please, just stop.

You can do infinite things
with paper--

Shh, shh.
Did you hear that?

Infinity.

There is an infinity of things

that you can do with paper.

Now who wants to buy
some paper?

Yeah.

- Very nice.
Very nice sales pitch

for our clients
that don't know what paper is.

I'm talking about you guys.

Who in this room right now

wants to buy some paper?

Let's get high
on our own supply!

- Andy, you want us
to buy our own paper?

Yes.

Robert said that we needed

to double our sales growth
to 8%

by the end of the quarter--
that's today.

And we are $830 short.

And I can't afford
to keep buying paper from us.

So today, we need to sell
$830 of paper,

and then next quarter,
I need to sell

the $2,200 of paper
that's in my garage.

- There's a whole warehouse
downstairs full of paper.

We can just take
whatever we want.

That's stealing.

- No, you can't steal
from your own company.

I mean, if you could,
Bob would go to jail

for a thousand years.

- All right, if you're not
gonna help us out

by buying our own paper,
then...

could you try to sell $800
more paper than usual today?

That would be amazing.

- Andy, it's the last day
of the quarter.

We've already called
all our clients,

so making that much in a day
is gonna be tough.

Not helping, Tuna.

Yeah, I'm sitting on 2,500

in sales I could make
at any time,

but those are my "wait till
the separation is legal" sales.

We gotta figure this out.

Think of the look
on Robert's face

when we tell him
we met our 8% goal.

Oh, will we get
to see that look?

No.
That's why--

that's why I said, think of it.

Andy, we're gonna do
our best.

But you know what?
At the end of the day,

7-point-whatever percent
is pretty good.

- Yeah, we did a great job.
- That is good.

- Yeah, it is, Andy.
- Best that we've ever done.

Have I mentioned
that it's also quite good

for amateur animation?

Took me two weeks.

- Animals, machines,
vast virtual armies.

All of these things
I have successfully managed.

The only thing
I haven't managed

is people.

I saw an ad
on the Sabre website

for an open manager position
in their printers division.

I spoke to Robert California
about it,

and he said for me to come by
and see him sometime.

So like
a Spanish conquistador,

I have come to Florida

to claim
what is rightfully mine.

Dwight Schrute
for Robert California!

Oh. Hello, Mr. Schrute.

I'll tell him you're here.
Can I get you anything at all?

I'm not here
to be given anything.

I'm here to take what is mine.

Ooh.
I'm glad you're on our team.

Here, please, have a seat.

Dwight?

What are you doing here?

Gabe?

You don't know?

Course I know.

Hmm. Impressive office
you have here.

Surrounded by shrubbery,

like a squirrel's office.

Well, it's called a jungle,
and it helps me remember

that it's a jungle
down here in Tallahassee.

- Mm-hmm.
- We live by the laws

- of the wild.
- Mm-hmm.

You'll get it,
or maybe you won't.

Corporate says to me,

"Gabe, we need you
in Scranton."

Scranton says,
"Gabe, go back down to Florida.

You're needed there."

So Tuesdays and Thursdays,
I'm up there.

Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays, I'm down here.

I can think of no better way

to confront
my deathly fear of flying.

Hey, Trish.

You see Trish?
We've got kind of

an "Are we friends/
What is this?" thing going on.

If you think she's hot, you
should see her sister Ashley.

That girl puts the "ass"
in Tallahassee.

Makes Trish look like garbage.

Dwight.

Robert.

- You made it.
- Yes.

Impressive initiative.

I don't know what's worse,

the trip or the destination.

The pilot said
it was the smoothest flight

of his entire career.

Well, uh...

let me settle in,

and I'll be with you shortly.

Very good.

There's a funny law of business

known as the Peter principle.

Uh, every employee
gets promoted

until he reaches the level
of his incompetence.

Right now, Dwight
as a salesman has reached

his highest level
of competence.

Now he's feeling the pull
of moving up or moving on.

My job is to make sure
that neither of those happens.

Hey, C-SPAN.

So my dad says an accountant
can really help you out

if they're willing
to "play ball."

Those were his words.

Gosh, Andy,
you had a great quarter.

Okay? Robert will understand.

$800 is a rounding error.

So make that error.

- Andy, no--
- Hey.

I can make that error.

Oh...

Well, it's just,
I know that making errors

sounds like your kind of thing,

but it's a little more
complicated than that.

- No, I--
- It's just, I-I really need

a real accountant on this.

What do you say?

I'm leaving early today
because tonight I have

a trivia contest
in Philadelphia.

Oh.

Any other crunch time,

I would love to stay
and cook the books for you

so you can save face
in front of your CEO,

but tonight is Triviocalypse.

- What?
- It's only the biggest night

of trivia of the year.

There's a $1,000 prize.

I'm committed to my friends.
They're committed to me.

You know what?

Go. Have fun.

There's a trivia contest
at a bar in Philadelphia.

Stop right there.

- I love it.
- I'm in.

I didn't even say what it is.

- It's trivia.
- In Philadelphia.

But here's the best part.

The prize is $1,000,

and if we win, we can use
that money to buy paper here,

close the gap
on our 8% profit increase...

- That's a great idea.
- That's a great plan.

- Yeah? You like it?
- Yeah.

- All right.
- All right, good stuff.

I'm so psyched
you guys are into it

'cause I thou--I was like,
this sounds really stupid.

You just made a good idea
a great idea.

There is one problem
with this plan.

- What?
- We'd have to leave work,

like, right now, to do this.

You can reduce your prices
by 10%,

or we're gonna be finding
a new source

for our morning bagels.

All right.

Gabe, I always wondered
what it is you did around here.

Now I found out.
You're the bagel guy.

Yeah, but not just bagels.

All unwanted problems.

Question:
what's the most important

appliance in your house?

- Meat grinder.
- Bzzt. Too slow.

It's the toilet.

And I am the toilet
of this office.

I flush away annoying problems

so others can
keep their hands clean,

and just like a toilet,
I am essential.

You know, Gabe,
you could have gone

with garbage disposal,
incinerator, or eraser,

and instead, you chose toilet.

God bless you.
You are an American classic.

Dwight.

Today is not my day at all,
I'm afraid.

I'm not gonna be able
to meet with you.

But I'm leaving you in the very
capable hands of our COO.

But I can give you this pitch
in one minute.

No, he's gonna meet
with you later.

No, no, no.
I-I don't want you to rush it.

Okay? Trust me.

Meet with Bill.

He's a great person to know.

I'll dialogue with him tonight.

Robert!

I overheard you talking
with Doug.

Uh, average rainfall
in Costa Rica in March

is about 10 inches,
so you should be pretty safe.

- 10 inches of rain?
- Yeah.

Imagine.

CEO to COO.

What a difference
a letter makes.

Still an important position.
Still a chief.

You're really gonna
like Bill.

He, uh--he has me toilet
a lot of people for him.

Hallway phone,
Gabe Lewis speaking.

- Gabe, listen to me.
Don't bother Bill with this.

He has to go put out a fire
on the home front.

Just wait 20 minutes,

and then I want you
to listen to Dwight's pitch.

Make him feel valued.
Make him feel heard.

Your wish is my command.

It's a command.

I don't believe this.

What are you doing here, Andy?

You left us no choice.

But this should put a smile
on your face.

How would you like
to be captain

of the Dunder Mifflin team?

Although I reserve the right
to overrule you.

- What? No!
- I got a quota to hit.

I don't care how I hit it.

And you guys thought this
was a good idea?

I thought it was a fun idea.

There were times
on the 2 1/2 hour drive

when I experienced doubt.

But that's the thing
about long drives,

you know, you're always gonna--

this is a gay bar.

Wait, what?

Everyone in here is gay?

Yes, it's a gay bar.

So you guys want
to go home now?

No.

- No.
- Nah.

What does this say about you,
that you followed me here?

That you think you're gonna
win your sales quota--

at a gay bar's trivia night?

It says that I believe
in my staff's intelligence,

and that I'm willing
to try anything.

Not a-anything.

Good luck.

Uh, all right, we need
to divide up into teams,

but it's winner-take-all,
so no need to divide evenly.

We need an A-team,
a backup team,

and a just-have-fun team.

So you guys
all know yourselves.

Good-timers, follow me.

Backups.

Go on, kid.
You know you don't belong here.

- A-team.
- Okay.

All right, everybody,
nice self-awareness.

Except...

Okay.

There's a table over here.

I get it.

It's okay.

I understand we will
be working together.

Likewise.

Nice.

It gets better, kids.

It gets so much better
that one day,

your stupid coworkers
will be excited

to show up at your gay bar
and ruin your trivia night.

All right,
first question, everyone.

Ray Charles famously had
this state on his mind.

What is its capital?

Oh, we got this.

Let's reverse engineer this.

You're a Black singer.
Where do you go?

Somewhere where you're
a novelty.

- Alaska?
- Atlanta.

Oh, I know you think that
because that's

where the Olympics were held.

My cousins were actually
at those Olympics.

Keep talking all you want.

How am I supposed to know
what was on his mind?

Ooh. What do blind people
think about?

Okay, dogs, canes,
signs, manholes,

stairs, piano, darkness.

Okay, time's up.
Let's get the boards up.

Atlanta, Georgia,
is the correct answer.

What?

Stupid.

What?

Hey, man, uh, look.

Unfortunately,
Bill had to go fight a fire,

so your appointment got...

There're no fires
within 8 miles of here.

Well, it's 9 miles away.

I'm gonna be meeting with you
on his behalf.

What? No. No.

Excuse me! Lady.

Get anyone
from the COO's office

on the phone this instant.

Ugh, this must be
very frustrating.

I can see you
in the jungle now.

Okay, all right, there's
still an opportunity here.

I'm gonna blow Gabe away
with the best presentation

anyone has ever seen, ever,

'cause I'm a fighter.

And a fighter fights.

And a fighter will not go down
without a fight.

Even if he doesn't know
who his opponent is

or what direction he is facing,

he will fight,

because that's
how he was built.

"Real Steel."

Hey, now, you're not
an all-star of the NBA,

but you did get your game on
when you won the NBA's

Sixth Man of the Year award
in 2011.

Who are you?

Jim, Darryl,
your time to shine.

- Shawn Marion.
- Yes, Shawn Marion.

That doesn't sound right.
I want to say...

L'Damian Washington.

Wrong for so many reasons.

Well, I know
Elizabeth Taylor's sixth man

was Richard Burton.
Is that helpful?

That's it, I'm gonna go
watch the boats on the river.

Ron Artest.

When I dropped out of school
to watch more sports,

a lot of people thought
that I was nuts.

Well, who's laughing now?

Artest, Kelly.

No, it's Lamar Odom.
If it'd been Ron Artest,

it would have come up
in "Dancing with the Stars"

when they pan over
his trophy case

when he's at home
with his family.

Lamar winning Sixth Man
was a big storyline

on "Khloé & Lamar."

All right, boards up.

Let's see who got it.

Lamar Odom is what
we were looking for.

- Agh.
- Lamar Odom.

- Dang it.
- Oh, my God, Lamar Odom.

Nice. Nicely done.

You're my sports guys!

You're ESPN.
You're ESPN Classic.

Ryan is MSNBC.
I'm E!, TLC, and Oxygen.

Chill, man.
This plan is airtight.

So it's
a very simple argument

of why I should be
put in charge

of Southeast printer sales.

Nobody has sold more printers
in the Northeast than me.

Bottom line,
I know the product.

I get it.

Well, you got my vote.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

Most of all, I believe
that character is destiny.

And my character is one that--

wait, why are you smiling?

- What?
- What's with the smile?

You're doing great.

Yeah, so good.

And my character is one
that will never give up

until greatness is
on the horizon...

behind us.

Dwight, that was
a fantastic presentation.

Put your hand on my hand.

Flush.

- Ow, ow, ow.
- Take me to Robert.

- Ow! He went home.
- Take me to his house.

Uh, it's a condo and it's
long-term business housing--

You know where it is.
Lead me there.

Ow! Stephanie, help!

Listen, you're
a perfectly fine toilet.

I'm just an extraordinary
piece of crap.

- Let's go.
- Ow.

Excuse me, sir,
on the Dunder Mifflin A-team?

- Excuse me, sir?
- Yep. Yeah.

I'm sure you're just checking
your Grindr account.

But you can't check smartphones
during trivia.

It's against the rules.

Okay, I'm--
I'm turning it off.

Okay, you're not
turning it off.

I won't--I won't look at it.

- Sir?
- I can't--

I can't not...touch it.

Okay, then we're gonna have
to take it away.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Okay, I can't--
I can't not have my phone.

I'm sorry.

I-I want to be with my phone.

All right, guys.
After nine rounds,

let's check the scores.

In first place with 9 points,
it's Aesop's Foibles.

Whoo.

The Queerenstein Bears
have 7 points.

- Whoo!
- Grr!

Dunder Mifflin A-team
has 4 points.

- All right.
- DM Backup team has 3 points.

The Einsteins have 8 points.

- Whoo!
- Whoa!

Ladies Gaga have 5 points.

Hey, Einsteins.

- Great work.
- Thank you.

You know what I thought
would be fun?

Is if we do, like, a--
a switch-'em-up maybe.

Since only one of us needs
to win, maybe I could get

Kevin and Kelly and
put together an all-star team.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Andy, there is
no switching teams.

Andy, we're fine.

We don't want to switch.

We're already, like,
the perfect unit.

All right.

Well, just stay focused,
try to concentrate.

- Okay?
- Whoo!

Brought you some brain food.

- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!

Having fun.

all: One, two, three.

So our best chance of hitting
our mark is now in the hands

and brains of Kevin, Meredith,
Erin, and Kelly.

Do I like these odds?

My answer is no.

Oh, I feel smarter.

But my answers have been
wrong all night.

Well, here we are.

The Excelsior Suites.
Happy now?

Which one is it?

Listen, man,
you might want to rethink this.

Okay, this kind
of John McClane, cowboy BS

might work in Scranton,
but here the way to get ahead

is to stay behind.

Pay your dues,
keep your head down,

let the promotions fall
like rain.

Which one is it?

I don't know.
All I know is the building.

Robert!

Robert California!

- Robert!
- Dwight!

How nice of Gabe
to show you where I live.

Come around. 102.

All right, guys, time's up.

Who was the relativelyunknown
patent clerk who discovered

that energy equals mass times
the speed of light squared?

Looks like everyone gets
a point for Albert Einstein.

Oh, wait.

Except for the Einsteins.

- That's all right.
- Shoot.

Which means
the top three teams

are gonna finish it off
in the speed round.

So let's get everyone
some bells.

In third place we have...
the Einsteins.

- Oh, yeah!
- What?

Second place we have
the Queerenstein Bears.

Whoo, let's go!
Let's go!

And in first place
is Aesop's Foibles.

Whoo!

Yeah, but they're gonna
get clobbered.

Ring it in when you know it.

First question.

This man had a fatwa
declared on him

when--

Einsteins?

- What?
- What is it?

- What?
- I did my part, babe.

I'm just the bell girl.

Aesop's?

Salman Rushdie.

Salman Rushdie is correct.

Heading out to sea, sailors.

On a square-rigged ship,
the sail set furthest forward

is called what?

Princess Ding-Dong,
do not hit that bell--

Flying jib.

Flying jib is correct
for the Einsteins.

- Flying jib.
- I can't believe it!

Flying jib.
Flying jib.

No way!

Gentlemen.

Give us just a minute.

Stu and I are just
finishing up our lesson.

Trust me.
One nine-minute bout

is the cardiovascular
equivalent

of running uphill
for three hours.

I could go to the gym
three times a week,

or I can wrestle Stu
once a month.

Grab my knee!

Yay, Robert!

It's also possible
that a tiny part of me hopes

I'll snap my neck
back into place.

Guys, please help yourself
to some drinks from the fridge.

Okay, that's good for now.

Let's take a break.

Stu, Gabe,

could you please excuse
Dwight and I?

According to a recent survey,

this is the most common
learning disability

among American adolescents.

Boom! ADHD.

No.

Wrong.
The answer is dyslexia!

That's correct
for the Einsteins.

Whoo! Whoo!

- Yeah!
- Sir.

- Go Einsteins!
- Sir.

Dial it back.
This isn't Tail Feathers, okay?

They haven't really improved
on the Oreo, have they?

No, thank you.

Sit down, Dwight.

I know you're not here
to have your time wasted.

I just want to make my case.

- Please.
- I--

I know what you've got
in you.

The gumption, the sheer moxie
to have shown up here,

very impressive, Dwight.

Let me tell you why
I should be the next manager

with a riddle.

a manager, a salesman,
a leader,

and a warrior
walk into a restaurant.

The hostess says,
"Table for one?"

How is this possible?

You were dining alone?
All those people are you.

Yes, exactly.
Riddle number two:

- who is going--
- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Your drive, your ambition,

it would be wasted
on a manager's job.

And Florida,
you don't want to live here.

Even I don't want to live here.

That's why I'm always
at my place in Scranton.

Florida is America's basement.

It's wet, it's filled
with mold, strange insects,

alligators.

Alligators are dinosaurs,
Dwight.

- You know that, right?
- Mm...

it's complicated.

This medal
was my grandfather's.

He received it
for acts of courage,

for excellence.

It's a tribute
one man gives another.

I could give you a job, Dwight.

But why not let me give you
something even better?

It's a job interview,
not a flea market.

Dwight, the job
is not right for you.

Now, when something comes along
that is right for you,

I'll try you out.

Now get the hell
out of my place.

Yes.

all: Einsteins!
Einsteins! Einsteins!

Boo!

Moving on.
Say shalom to your shrubs

on this Jewish holiday

that celebrates
the New Year for trees.

Tu BiShvat.

- That's correct.
- Whoo!

Hey, is it true that you're
not allowed to spend time

with your girlfriend
during the month of Tu BiShvat?

Uh, I don't think so.

I knew it.
I knew it.

I knew it.
Ryan lies to me.

He says that he has
a whole Jewish holiday

for the entire month.

- Did I achieve the goal
of my trip to Florida?

No.
My goal was to get a new job.

I did get the promise
of a new job.

I think he'll keep
that promise.

My other goal was to get
a picture of myself

with an alligator.

I achieved that goal.

Airport, please.

Final round.
Last two teams squaring off.

I hope you're ready
to play doctor.

Our question is about
the health and the human body.

Oh, come on!

The standard
American analog scale

has a maximum capacity
of what weight?

300 pounds!

Point for the Einsteins.

Here's your final question.

Cinephiles, put on
your memory berets.

This 2001 masterpiece
from Gilles Paquet-Brenner

explores the intricate dynamics
of a family in disarray.

Le titre du film est
"Le Scaphandre et le Papillon."

- Yes.
- I'm sorry, no.

Over to the Einsteins.

"Les jolies choses."

Are you sure?

Marion Cotillard
exposes herself

a number of times in that film.

The Einsteins win it.

- No!
- No!

- Come on!
- Yes. Yes.

- Come on!
- Win it.

Look, I know it's easy to say
tonight was just a fluke,

and maybe it was,
but here's a piece of trivia:

a fluke is one of the most
common fish in the sea.

So if you go fishing
for a fluke, chances are,

you just might catch one.

Oh, boy.

Welcome to the Stonewall
Alliance trivia championships!

First prize is $2,500.

Let's just do our thing,
collect our hardware,

- and get the hell home.
- Whoo!

Riboflavin.

Riboflavin?

Michigan.

The president
of the United States is POTUS.

John Steinbeck wrote
"The Grapes of Wrath."