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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,612 Oh...little help. 2 00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:17,350 Wow, your hair is really thinning. 3 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,652 Standing has proven to be healthier, 4 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:23,223 increases productivity, and just looks cooler. 5 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,658 Picture someone doing something heroic. 6 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,628 Now, was he sitting or standing? 7 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:30,463 Not counting F.D.R. 8 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:33,633 Every second you sit there is an hour off your life. 9 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,235 Look at all of you. 10 00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,103 I feel like you're in a suicide cult. 11 00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:39,806 No, no, no. You're way off on that one. 12 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,741 Are you really comfortable standing there? 13 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,343 I tried one of those, 14 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,146 and I just couldn't find the sweet spot. 15 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,817 Hey, guys, let's just all admit it, okay? 16 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,218 Dwight's better than us. 17 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,387 He had the guts to stop sitting, 18 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:57,323 and he's never, ever gonna go back on it, right? 19 00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,693 That's right, Jim. 20 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,503 - Hey, man. - Hey. 21 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,738 Taking a load off, huh? 22 00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:13,840 No. Putting a load on, more like. 23 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:15,408 Good luck with that. 24 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,744 Last thing I need is luck. 25 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,718 Thank you so much. 26 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,236 What are you up to? Oh, look out. 27 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,305 - Just--what are you doing? - Too fast. Ha ha! 28 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,607 - Give that back. Come on. - Prank! 29 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,909 Oh, that's real creative. 30 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,810 You know what, you're right. It's not my best. 31 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,379 'Cause you could easily just bend over 32 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,680 and pick that up, right? 33 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,582 I could, I just don't feel like a loser. 34 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,283 - Because you're sitting? - Standing. 35 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,618 - Okay. - Don't! 36 00:01:58,651 --> 00:01:59,953 - Because you're sitting? - Standing. 37 00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:01,721 You know I have to do this. 38 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,923 I know. 39 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,426 Whoaaa! 40 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,496 {\an8} 41 00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:16,670 {\an8}* * 42 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:31,251 Andrew...Baines...Bernard. 43 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,353 I think you can just do it with "Andy Bernard." 44 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,389 Andrew Baines Bernard. I love filling these out 45 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,291 {\an8}'cause it's like, oh, I'm taking a test, 46 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,893 {\an8}but I know the answers. 47 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,494 {\an8}- In four seconds, 48 00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:44,364 {\an8}my wife is going to be coming through that door. 49 00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:45,965 {\an8}I told her she could work here. 50 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,668 {\an8}Under nocircumstances can that be allowed to happen. 51 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,936 {\an8} 52 00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:52,339 {\an8}There you are. Honey... 53 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,407 {\an8}how on earth did you miss the elevator? 54 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,308 {\an8}What was that? 55 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,843 {\an8}- I don't know. He wasn't talking to me. 56 00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:00,814 {\an8}But if I were you, I wouldn't hire his wife. 57 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,282 {\an8}That's why my foundation, 58 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,817 {\an8}the Dream for a Wish Foundation, 59 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,285 {\an8}is gonna put them out of business. 60 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:06,319 {\an8}They're not gonna know what hit 'em. 61 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,521 {\an8}- Everyone... 62 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:12,025 {\an8}I'd like to introduce my wife, Mrs. Robert California. 63 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,594 {\an8}Mrs. California, this is everyone. 64 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:15,662 {\an8}- Hello. Hi. 65 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,831 {\an8}- Welcome. Call me Susan, please. 66 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,001 {\an8}- Last night at dinner, Susan and I were talking 67 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,969 {\an8}about her returning to work. 68 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,406 {\an8}So she's here today to see if there's a good fit. 69 00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,508 {\an8}Something tells me it just might work out. 70 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,976 {\an8} 71 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:33,279 {\an8}This is Andy Bernard, the regional manager. 72 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,581 {\an8}- Hello. Nice to meet you. Hey there. 73 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:35,715 {\an8}It's a pleasure. Welcome. 74 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:36,783 {\an8}Thank you. 75 00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:37,951 {\an8}- Andy, would you be so kind 76 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,320 {\an8}as to show Susan around the office, 77 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,988 {\an8}introduce her to various departments, 78 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,691 {\an8}find a place where she'll shine? 79 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,893 {\an8}- I would love to, but I have to be 80 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,596 {\an8}completely honest with you guys. 81 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:50,964 {\an8}We're 100% staffed up. 82 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,735 {\an8}- Andy, let's see if there's a good fit first, 83 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,537 {\an8}then we'll talk. 84 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,642 {\an8}- All right. 85 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,378 {\an8}So Roberto Californo 86 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,580 {\an8}doesn't want to work with his wife. 87 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,349 {\an8}I get it. 88 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,751 {\an8}And he wants to get his wife a job. 89 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,887 {\an8}Totally get it. 90 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,790 {\an8}What I am struggling with 91 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,526 {\an8}is the part of this that's impossible. 92 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,396 {\an8}I love my wife. 93 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,369 {\an8}- * Knock knock knock knock knock knock * 94 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:30,770 {\an8}- You don't have to say it if you're doing it. 95 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:33,106 {\an8}- Remember how you said 96 00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:35,475 {\an8}that you were looking for a place in the office 97 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:38,478 to do calisthenics and aerobics? 98 00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:40,814 Uh, weight lifting, yeah. 99 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,048 Well, today's your lucky day. 100 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,417 I have opened, in this very office building, 101 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,486 Dwight Schrute's Gym for Muscles. 102 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,055 - Wanna take a look? - I'll take a look. 103 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,859 Your path from obesity begins right here. 104 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,697 I've been meaning to join a gym...for my health. 105 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,966 I used to say I wanted to live long enough 106 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,468 to see a Black president. 107 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,936 I never realized how easy that would be. 108 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,104 So now I want to live long enough 109 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,940 to see a really, really gay president 110 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,041 or a supermodel president. 111 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:11,411 I wan to see all the different kinds of presidents. 112 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:12,946 Obese people in my office building 113 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,681 are a drain on resources. 114 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,082 Chairs wear out faster. 115 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,118 It takes more freon to keep them cool. 116 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,819 They flush the toilets more often. 117 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:23,089 Plus, their massive BMs bust the rivets on my pipes. 118 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:28,528 But a gym turns fat into cash. 119 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:31,731 All right, the D.M. Express is pulling out. 120 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,633 All right, well, it's really nice to meet you, Brian. 121 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,768 Uh, it's actually Ryan. 122 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,436 - Oh, Ryan. - Yeah. 123 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,838 Bitch. 124 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,141 We will start here at Erinville. 125 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,843 - Hi. - Reception. 126 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,512 Your classic one-man operation. 127 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,180 Although, I was watching a movie, 128 00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:48,982 and Meryl Streep had two secretaries. 129 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,850 I was watching a movie, and a bunch of apes 130 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,053 took over San Francisco. Just sayin'. 131 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,990 Two secretaries could convey a sense of importance 132 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,692 and success to our clients. 133 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:02,429 Certainly worth exploring. Wouldn't you agree, Andy? 134 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,165 - I'll explore exploring it. - Good. 135 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,600 Seems like you have this under control, 136 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:11,004 so I'll just duck out and run the company for a while. 137 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:18,478 Okay, next stop on the tour, Sales. 138 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:21,581 Here we go. Station stop Jim Halpert. 139 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,683 Oh, boy, our resident truth teller. 140 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,784 Stay away from this guy. 141 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,820 Jim...don't say a word. 142 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,621 Okay. 143 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:31,124 Too late, we're already here. You gotta say something. 144 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,926 Jim'll give it to you straight. 145 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,194 That's what we love him for. 146 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,597 Even though it's always just so negative. 147 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,233 This whole thing is making me very uncomfortable. 148 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,068 I'm not getting in between the boss and his wife, 149 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,604 so just ask me about something else. 150 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:48,008 You know, Stanley's tie is really the story of the day. 151 00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,911 It's my birthday. 152 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,947 Jim wasted his entire youth here. 153 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,015 Oh. 154 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,649 Once he even said that if this became his career, 155 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,018 he'd throw himself in front of a train. 156 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,253 Yet he's still here. 157 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:03,023 Can you believe he's only 32, looks like he's 100? 158 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,557 All right, have at it. Let her rip. 159 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,493 What do you hate about this place? 160 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:09,129 Well, it's Sales, so you have to be able 161 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,563 to live in the world of rejection. 162 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,065 Maybe you do. 163 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,633 Hi, I'm Dwight. 164 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:17,537 Sales is really not so hard, okay--it's paper. 165 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,606 We have it, and they want it so bad 166 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:20,874 they are willing to pay for it. 167 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,142 Jim? 168 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,210 Well, it's not that easy. 169 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,079 It's kind of sometimes difficult. 170 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,882 It's the second-easiest job in the world. 171 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,116 - Being a mom. - I love shopping. 172 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,986 And Sales is just the other side of that. 173 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,655 That's true. 174 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,925 You know, if you joined our Sales department, 175 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,660 you would be working very closely 176 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,595 with our department head, Mr. Dwight Schrute. 177 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,930 That's me. 178 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,799 Dwight, why don't you tell Susan 179 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,067 about some of your hobbies. 180 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,902 - Oh. - Survival skills. 181 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,837 - Mm-hmm. - Ranking of animals. 182 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:54,741 Maybe over a beer after she's closed her first sale. 183 00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,044 Well, make that a red wine 184 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,113 and I'll tell you myanimal rankings. 185 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,119 How am I supposed to pull this off? 186 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,655 The entire office is being nicer to her 187 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:09,989 than they've ever been to me. 188 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,257 What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis' 189 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,993 classic room-clearing farts right now. 190 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,528 Ready? 191 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,001 What do you think? Huh? 192 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:24,204 Um, no, no. This is not a gym. 193 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,605 This is like a scene out of Saw V. 194 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,140 You haven't even looked around yet. 195 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,044 Look. Gravel bucket squat yoke. 196 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:35,315 Right? 197 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,086 Dedicated phone book ripping station. 198 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,224 - You ever cut tin before? - No. 199 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:47,360 Five yards in and your forearms will be on fire. 200 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,796 Plus, I will buy the tin back from you that you cut 201 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,731 for two cents a yard. 202 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,067 We got a hatchet station. 203 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,302 Lifting jugs, tossing rocks. 204 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,738 Now, let's go over membership. 205 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,607 I'm gonna need the first month's 206 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,076 and the last month's up front for $49 a month. 207 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,879 But every third month is $59 a month. 208 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,014 But the fourth month is a discount month 209 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,716 at $19 per month. 210 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,385 Obviously, you know how a gym works. 211 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,821 So you know I'm not gonna pay money for this. 212 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,790 You want people to come to your gym? 213 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,191 Make a real gym. 214 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,226 Darryl... 215 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,664 Make a real gym. 216 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,200 I was thinking Accounting might be a good fit 217 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,935 because I really clicked with Oscar, 218 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,338 and I do have some experience with bookkeeping. 219 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,940 But we already have a surplus of accountants 220 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,375 as it is. 221 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,077 I would work in Customer Service, 222 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,712 and, um, H.R., even. 223 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,380 Those are fully staffed as well. 224 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,315 Are you telling me that there's no one 225 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,184 in this entire office 226 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,087 that could use an extra pair of hands? 227 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,788 Yes. 228 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:49,789 I can't accept that. 229 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,826 We've been growing. There must be some need. 230 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,161 Oddly, no. 231 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,696 No need. 232 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,232 Perhaps in anticipation of further growth, 233 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,968 we can make some room. 234 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,070 Well... 235 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,673 The economy being what it is, you just never know. 236 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,675 I mean, could go either way. 237 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:11,044 Europe is just going off the rails, 238 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:13,179 Greece is going underwater, 239 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,881 they're talking about Spain-- 240 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,349 Okay, okay, you're being very responsible, 241 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,984 but let me be blunt. 242 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,754 I am the CEO, and I am telling 243 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:24,257 an employee of mine what to do. 244 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,726 Let me beat around the bush for a second. 245 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:31,031 Our chairman of the board has some very strong feelings-- 246 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,333 Robert, it's all right. This is very uncomfortable. 247 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,269 Obviously, there's no place for me here, 248 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,837 so thank you for trying. 249 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,973 - Why don't we just let it go? - No. Absolutely not. 250 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,709 Andrew, there must be something you can do. 251 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:43,943 There must be. Think. 252 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,814 Well, there are a lot of considerations. 253 00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:51,751 I would be eternally grateful. 254 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:57,223 It's not a bad thing to have the CEO owe you one. 255 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,962 All right! Well, then, welcome aboard. 256 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,941 - So what happens next? - We get you over to H.R., 257 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,977 and then get you set up with Accounting. 258 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,413 Hang on. 259 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,850 - Hello? - Say "Hello, Grandma." 260 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,819 Hi, Gam Gam. 261 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,287 - Hold one finger up to Susan. 262 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,323 You'll just be a second. 263 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,891 You numbskull! 264 00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,326 You were given a very simple task. 265 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,962 I could not have been more clear with you. 266 00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,797 Now say, "Are you taking your medicine?" 267 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:40,000 Are you taking your med-meds? 268 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:43,069 - Why can you not say exactly what I tell you? 269 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:46,373 Undo this. Undo it. 270 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,945 You didn't say good-bye to your grandmother. 271 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:55,115 We promised we'd never say good-bye. 272 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:01,988 Attention! I am now accepting memberships 273 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,090 for the Dwight Schrute Gym for Muscles. 274 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,326 First 20 members can take advantage 275 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,495 of our "pay what you weigh" promotion. 276 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,096 All I need is another gym. 277 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,798 As if I don't have enough drama. 278 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,834 We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom. 279 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,036 Who's spotting who? 280 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,103 Don't use the bike in the corner, 281 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,371 that's Bruce's. Jeremy says-- 282 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,973 Enough. Oscar, enough. 283 00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,541 - Kelly? - I have these sneakers, 284 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,879 which are basically just like a gym for your feet, so... 285 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,881 Gabe? 286 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,582 I'm already booked up with physical therapy. 287 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,519 I'm not hurt, but it's preventative. 288 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,586 That's okay. 289 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,255 I know how to build a business. 290 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,123 You gotta get the Black people to do it 291 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,159 to get the white people to do it. 292 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,494 Then you gotta get the Black people to stop doing it. 293 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,830 One step at a time. 294 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,598 Did you bring your passport with you? 295 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,267 Who walks around with their passport? 296 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,502 Well, I do. Always ready for adventure. 297 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,372 - Have you had any? - No. 298 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,878 Hey, guys. 299 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,448 So Robert doesn't want his wife working here. 300 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,584 So now that she is, we have to drive her away. 301 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,853 Andy, if he didn't want her working here, 302 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,588 then why did you hire her? 303 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,025 Oscar, it was a mistake. 304 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:16,162 But one that can be fixed by all of us being mean to her. 305 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:19,332 How can we do that? She's simply wonderful. 306 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,934 This is all pathetic. 307 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,536 I am not asking, I am ordering. 308 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,939 How mean are we talking about? 309 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,307 It would he great if she were gone by lunch. 310 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,975 Erin, you're up. Find her a place to work, 311 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,310 but not too comfortable. 312 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,213 Got it. I know exactly which stapler to give her. 313 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,119 Here you go. 314 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,190 Um, do you think it would be possible 315 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:45,525 to move to that desk over there? 316 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,093 Because this seems a bit cramped, 317 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,628 and I don't have a computer. 318 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,196 Well, that's a Sales desk. 319 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,932 Yeah. You need to be over here with us accountants. 320 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,468 Just sit here and be quiet. 321 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:59,205 And if you have a question, just raise your hand. 322 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,307 But I'm gonna save you some time, sweetie, 323 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,476 and give you the answer now. 324 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:07,313 I...don't...know. 325 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,216 - No, I don't think we should be trying 326 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,519 to make this place seem unpleasant. 327 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,653 I think we should let this place 328 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,088 just crush her spirit by itself. 329 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,390 I mean, it knows what it's doing. 330 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,225 Can I have that stapler? 331 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,229 I get it--last time I had a job, 332 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:26,399 I remember I hated the boss's wife. 333 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,969 Of course, she was married to Robert. 334 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,073 Hi. 335 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,908 - Hi. - Hey. 336 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,378 So what's good? 337 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:42,048 The individual beef stews are amazing. 338 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,551 But I called dibs on all of them forever, 339 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,986 so stay away. 340 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,555 Same with the salt and pepper chips. 341 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,989 So what can I have? 342 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,358 Definitely the fruit. 343 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,225 Okay, um, actually, 344 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,027 the turkey sandwich, when not awful, 345 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,428 is not awful. 346 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:56,563 Well, that sounds good. 347 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,131 It's not bad. 348 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,739 Jim, have you seen my new puppy? 349 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,374 It's Gerald. 350 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,043 Oh, wow. So cute. 351 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,979 Oh, that is so cute. 352 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,280 Aw... 353 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,515 he's so tiny. Is he in a ladle? 354 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,017 Yeah, he's in a ladle. 355 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,318 That's adorable. How on earth 356 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,987 - did you get him in a ladle? - He did it himself. 357 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,288 Is that ladle stainless or... 358 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,523 Oh, stainless. Williams Sonoma. 359 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,292 Excuse me, waiter, there's a dog in my soup. 360 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,294 It's not that kind of ladle. 361 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,330 - Very cute. - Aw, let me see. 362 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,032 Ah, just the battery on these things. 363 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,000 I'm sorry, I've gotta recharge this. 364 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,738 - You don't keep a puppy picture 365 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,373 from a nice lady. 366 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,208 I feel sick. 367 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,577 And it was that type of ladle. 368 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,081 What do you think you're doing? 369 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,449 Getting a sweat on. 370 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,052 I build you this temple to the human body, 371 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,453 and you're lifting what, five pounds? 372 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,056 I just did, like, 35 minutes on the treadmill. 373 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,190 I was watching you. You wanna know 374 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,491 - how long it really was? - No. 375 00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,793 Eight minutes! 376 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,095 Dude, I'ma be here all week, right? 377 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,597 Five days a week, I figure I'll start slow. 378 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,500 Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings? 379 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,439 I want you to bring that same buffalo wing passion 380 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,074 to this gym. 381 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,609 I'm gonna make you look like LeBron James. 382 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,712 It's LeJohn Brames. 383 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,081 - That's what I said. - Yeah. 384 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,515 - Get it right. - I know. 385 00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,718 I can't afford advertising for my gym. 386 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,120 Darryl is my advertising. 387 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,056 When he loses 400 or 500 pounds because of my gym, 388 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,126 that's worth more than 1,000 urinal ads. 389 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:38,832 Your employees don't seem to be taking to me. 390 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,600 Andy! 391 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,139 Andy, could you step in here, please? 392 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,440 We'll fix this. 393 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,676 What is going on? 394 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,245 Please. 395 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:56,683 Andrew, my wife... has brought up an issue 396 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,586 that requires your attention. 397 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:04,557 So, uh, if you'll excuse me, I should step out, 398 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,727 get to the ATM before that homeless man 399 00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,829 sets up camp for the night. 400 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,537 Okey-dokey, artichokey. 401 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,508 - You hate it, don't you? - Do you not want me here? 402 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,677 - Why would you say that? - It's okay. 403 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,612 I understand. I'm not sure how I would feel 404 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,647 about having the boss' wife work for me either. 405 00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:31,251 - It's not that...exactly. - But it is something. 406 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,521 Let's just say that if you don't want to work here, 407 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,523 I am totally prepared to respect that. 408 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,191 Why would you not want me working here? 409 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,293 I don't know. 410 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:44,230 I think I understand what you're going through. 411 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,533 My husband can be 412 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,902 a very difficult man to read, can't he? 413 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,538 Yes! 414 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,840 - The dude is an enigma. - Mm-hmm. 415 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,809 So he is mixed up in this, isn't he? 416 00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:00,880 Got it. 417 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,549 This is my gym, my rules. 418 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,285 You do exactly as I say, no questions asked. 419 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,786 Yeah, I'm gonna ask questions, 420 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,455 and I might not do what you say. 421 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,591 First thing, we're gonna stretch the pelvic bowl. 422 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,893 Ready? Get down on the floor. 423 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,829 Okay, I'm not doing that. 424 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,797 Really? 425 00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:19,699 Too embarrassing for you? Huh? 426 00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:21,768 You wish that every exercise was strutting around the gym 427 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,269 like the Fonz? 428 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,238 Well, how do you think the Fonz got so cool? 429 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,640 He stretched his pelvic bowl. 430 00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,478 I didn't know Darryl joined. 431 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:32,512 Looks that way. 432 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,415 Nice pelvic bowl. Deep. 433 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,684 They say that if you can strengthen your core, 434 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,652 it improves your sexual performance, 435 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,490 so you will find me on the ab blaster. 436 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:48,261 And then you will find me blasting, um... 437 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,463 a very nice young woman. 438 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,899 - Cameras... - Ooh, still here. 439 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,901 Terrific. 440 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:58,271 Andy and I had a great conversation. 441 00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,973 And I just want to let you know 442 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:03,243 that I am not going to be working here 443 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,947 - Well, that's a shame. - It just was one of those thi-- 444 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:11,251 Is it? Because we talked about it, 445 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,319 and it seems like that might be what you want. 446 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,921 - Which is fine. - Where did this come from? 447 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,222 Did Andy say that? 448 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,390 No, he did not. 449 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,591 But I could tell he was struggling 450 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,993 to understand what was expected of him. 451 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,528 What's the struggle? 452 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,430 He made a great call, hired a great person. 453 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,265 You sure about that? 454 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,000 - Absolutely. - No games? 455 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,668 No games. 456 00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:30,804 Because Andy seemed to think there was some information 457 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,706 he was not able to share with me. 458 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,374 Enough of this. I mean, real--enough. 459 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,408 It's gotten way out of hand. 460 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,444 Andrew, this is my wife. 461 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:40,413 Whatever privacy you were trying to protect 462 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,415 between us, I thank you for. 463 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,651 But it is not welcome right now. 464 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,453 Just be honest. 465 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,358 - Andy... - Yes. 466 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,659 Why do you keep looking at my husband? 467 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,394 Andy, just answer the question. 468 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,930 - No games? - No games. 469 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:59,299 Okay. 470 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,968 I mean, it was kind of funny, actually. 471 00:20:02,002 --> 00:20:03,803 Robert storms in, and he says, 472 00:20:03,837 --> 00:20:05,438 "In four seconds, my wife's gonna be in here. 473 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,606 "I told her she could work here. 474 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,441 Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen." 475 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,377 You lying son of a bitch! 476 00:20:15,749 --> 00:20:17,984 Tell my wife you're lying. 477 00:20:18,018 --> 00:20:20,754 I am lying. I am a compulsive liar. 478 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,857 - That's not true, is it? - No, it's not. 479 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,393 I tell the truth most of the time, 480 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:27,994 and I was just telling the truth about your husband. 481 00:20:28,028 --> 00:20:30,864 - Jim knows. He was there. - This is preposterous. 482 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,767 - Robert... - Let's get Jim in here. 483 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:36,870 Where's Jim? 484 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:39,339 He just rolled out and crawled out. 485 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:40,674 Can you call security, 486 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,375 tell 'em to keep an eye out for him? 487 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,310 Time to settle this. 488 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,414 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. 489 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:48,615 I just need to get through. 490 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,817 Just real quick. Real quick, open-- 491 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,519 okay. 492 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,559 That's weird. 493 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,028 Well, he's gotta be around here somewhere. 494 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,799 Hi, Jim from across the hall. 495 00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,500 We are redoing our supply closet, 496 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:08,702 and I was wondering if I could 497 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,003 take a look at yours for some ideas. 498 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,104 Let me check with Bob. 499 00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,807 You totally should. He said it was fine, though. 500 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,879 Oh! He's always one step ahead of us. 501 00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:21,981 - How does he do that? - This is insulting! 502 00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:23,983 This whole accusation is insulting. 503 00:21:24,017 --> 00:21:25,051 Come on. 504 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,560 Oh! 505 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:39,666 Ow. Ow. Ow. 506 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:47,640 Creed, I was never here, all right? 507 00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,376 Okay. 508 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,578 What about your friend? 509 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:52,846 Oh, boy. 510 00:21:58,051 --> 00:22:01,121 Gotta get in shape. I'm doing ironman next month. 511 00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,723 And I want him to be attracted to me. 512 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:05,425 Hey, what are you listening to? 513 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,494 Steve Martin. 514 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,134 I'm fine. 515 00:22:16,870 --> 00:22:19,806 - Hello, Jim. - No, no. No, no, no! 516 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,441 Don't. Damn it, Tuna! 517 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:25,445 So I think you know what we want to know. 518 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,646 - Do I? - Yes. 519 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,682 I know. I do. 520 00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:31,851 Jim, I've had enough of your unhelpfulness. 521 00:22:31,885 --> 00:22:33,720 I really wish I could help. 522 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,055 I'm not really sure how I can. 523 00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:37,123 For God's sake, did Robert tell you 524 00:22:37,157 --> 00:22:39,159 that he didn't want me working here? 525 00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,127 That's the thing. 526 00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:42,729 See, I didn't want to get in the middle of this. 527 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:43,830 Still don't. 528 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,699 But here's something. 529 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:49,569 I feel that maybe, if we take a step back, 530 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:52,472 this is a simple case of anxiety 531 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:53,807 to work with a spouse. 532 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,676 I think we've got ourselves an answer. 533 00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:58,611 - No... - That makes complete sense. 534 00:22:58,645 --> 00:22:59,879 Thank you all for a wonderful day. 535 00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:01,681 - Perfect! - Jim... 536 00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:03,583 - Yes? - Answer the question, please. 537 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,821 I don't know what you want me to tell you. 538 00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:10,790 To be really honest, my wife works here. 539 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:11,991 And I love it. 540 00:23:12,025 --> 00:23:14,461 She literally makes me work harder. 541 00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:15,695 She makes me smarter. 542 00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:18,098 She makes me remember why I'm here. 543 00:23:18,131 --> 00:23:21,167 And between us, she's on maternity leave right now, 544 00:23:21,201 --> 00:23:23,703 and I would love to leave this room and see her face. 545 00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:26,006 I would love it. I don't know how this helps, 546 00:23:26,039 --> 00:23:27,207 but it's just what I'm thinking. 547 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,508 All right. Thanks. 548 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,809 Yes. All right. 549 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,019 - Uh... - Yeah. 550 00:23:39,052 --> 00:23:40,020 Yep. 551 00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:46,626 You're nothing! You're so weak! 552 00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:49,195 - You call yourself a man? Huh? - This doesn't help me. 553 00:23:49,229 --> 00:23:50,663 I don't respond to that kind of strategy. 554 00:23:50,697 --> 00:23:51,931 Okay, fine. 555 00:23:51,965 --> 00:23:53,166 Finish your set on your own, 556 00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:55,969 and never come back to my gym again! 557 00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,938 Dwight, come back and spot me. 558 00:23:58,972 --> 00:24:01,841 All right, I'll help you. 559 00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:04,144 But first, you gotta tell me what your goal is. 560 00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:06,146 - What do you want? - To push this bar up. 561 00:24:06,179 --> 00:24:08,014 No! Because if that was the case, 562 00:24:08,048 --> 00:24:09,716 the bar would be up by now. 563 00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:12,018 - What is your goal? - Help me! 564 00:24:12,052 --> 00:24:13,887 What do you want? 565 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,955 To look good for Val! 566 00:24:15,989 --> 00:24:18,091 Val Kilmer? I don't buy it. 567 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:21,761 That doesn't make any sense. 568 00:24:21,795 --> 00:24:23,296 Wow... 569 00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:26,099 I figured out your goal. 570 00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,901 I am gonna make you the buffest dude 571 00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:30,103 Val Kilmer has ever seen. 572 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,209 Thank you. 573 00:24:47,821 --> 00:24:50,090 Man. 574 00:24:50,123 --> 00:24:52,192 They seem like such a nice couple. 575 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:03,203 Exercise lengthens life, 576 00:25:03,236 --> 00:25:05,205 improves mood, boosts sex drive, 577 00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:07,173 and I've already covered the B.M. of it all. 578 00:25:07,207 --> 00:25:09,109 It's miraculous, the effect 579 00:25:09,142 --> 00:25:10,944 that I will have on their lives. 580 00:25:10,977 --> 00:25:12,679 I'm not office manager, 581 00:25:12,712 --> 00:25:14,814 but by building a gym, in a way, 582 00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:17,150 I've become God. 583 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,985 Andy. 584 00:25:19,019 --> 00:25:21,254 Hey, Mrs. California. 585 00:25:21,287 --> 00:25:24,991 Hey. Uh, I'm sorry about the position 586 00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:26,159 you were put in today. 587 00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:27,327 You know, honestly, 588 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,863 we all wanted you to work there. 589 00:25:29,896 --> 00:25:31,364 Except for him. Especially me. 590 00:25:31,398 --> 00:25:34,234 Yes, I thought we really hit it off. 591 00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:35,335 Yeah. 592 00:25:35,368 --> 00:25:37,904 Well, different circumstances. 593 00:25:37,937 --> 00:25:39,005 Yeah. 594 00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:40,240 - Who knows? - Who knows? 595 00:25:40,273 --> 00:25:42,842 Maybe after all this settles down... 596 00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,377 Totally. 597 00:25:44,411 --> 00:25:46,346 It's a date. 598 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:47,647 Hmm? 43357

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