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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,879 --> 00:00:15,923 ♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 2 00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:19,259 ♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA... ♪♪ 3 00:00:57,506 --> 00:00:58,799 GO AHEAD. 4 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:01,468 MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. 5 00:01:01,552 --> 00:01:03,595 IT'S MY VERY SPECIAL RECIPE. 6 00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:05,723 WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT-- 7 00:01:05,806 --> 00:01:07,975 HURRY! 8 00:01:08,059 --> 00:01:10,185 OOH! I TOLD YOU. 9 00:01:10,268 --> 00:01:11,979 YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK THOSE TOYS! 10 00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:13,689 OH, WOW! 11 00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:15,649 SANTA CLAUS! QUICK. LOOK! 12 00:01:15,733 --> 00:01:17,026 INCOMING! 13 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,861 ALL: AAH! AAH! 14 00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,737 TAKE COVER! 15 00:01:20,821 --> 00:01:23,490 AAH! AAH! 16 00:01:24,658 --> 00:01:25,910 AAH! AAH! 17 00:01:25,993 --> 00:01:27,160 AAH! 18 00:01:27,202 --> 00:01:28,829 ( gunshots ) 19 00:01:28,913 --> 00:01:31,582 LET'S GET THEM! 20 00:01:34,001 --> 00:01:35,128 COME ON OVER HERE! 21 00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:37,170 HURRY UP! 22 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,393 IT'S LEE MAJORS! 23 00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:53,520 THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN! 24 00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:55,648 IS THERE A BACK WAY OUT? 25 00:01:55,689 --> 00:01:56,856 YES, 26 00:01:56,941 --> 00:01:59,693 BUT THIS SANTA IS GOING OUT THE FRONT. 27 00:01:59,777 --> 00:02:01,445 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO LEE. 28 00:02:01,528 --> 00:02:02,738 THE WORLD COULDN'T AFFORD IT 29 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,490 IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO YOU. STAY PUT! 30 00:02:04,531 --> 00:02:06,617 THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU, LEE. 31 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,867 AND, LEE, YOU'VE BEEN 32 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:11,371 A REAL GOOD BOY THIS YEAR! 33 00:02:11,455 --> 00:02:13,499 YES, YOU SURE HAVE! 34 00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:14,500 ( applause ) 35 00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:15,876 ANNOUNCER: 7:00... 36 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,795 PSYCHOS SEIZE SANTA'S WORKSHOP. 37 00:02:18,879 --> 00:02:20,213 EAT THIS! 38 00:02:20,255 --> 00:02:22,466 ANNOUNCER: ONLY LEE MAJORS CAN STOP THEM. 39 00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:29,056 ♪ SILVER BELLS... ♪ 40 00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:31,558 ANNOUNCER: 8:30, AMERICA'S BEST-LOVED SINGER 41 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,355 ♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME... ♪ 42 00:02:36,396 --> 00:02:40,734 ANNOUNCER: WHEN IT'S... 43 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:46,239 ♪ RING-A-LING ♪♪ 44 00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:49,785 ANNOUNCER: 9:00, IBC PRESENTS AMERICA'S FAVORITE FAMILY 45 00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:52,245 IN A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EPISODE. 46 00:02:52,329 --> 00:02:53,747 HI, MOM. WHERE S DAD? 47 00:02:53,831 --> 00:02:55,499 HE SHOULD BE HOME NOW. 48 00:02:55,582 --> 00:02:59,586 IF I KNOW YOUR FATHER, HE'S CHASING BEAVER. 49 00:03:01,547 --> 00:03:04,383 ANNOUNCER: HERE ON IBC... 50 00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,618 SHOW ME THE SCROOGE PROMO. 51 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:38,458 ( "Joy To The World" plays ) 52 00:03:43,047 --> 00:03:46,175 IT WAS A COLD, BLEAK CHRISTMAS... 53 00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:49,887 ANNOUNCER: 10:00, IBC PRESENTS LIVE, VIA SATELLITE, 54 00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:53,640 FROM NEW YORK, BETHLEHEM, HELSINKI, WEST BERLIN, 55 00:03:53,723 --> 00:03:55,268 AND THE GREAT BARRIER REEF, 56 00:03:55,308 --> 00:03:58,104 CHARLES DICKENS IMMORTAL CHRISTMAS CLASSIC, 57 00:03:58,145 --> 00:03:59,563 SCROOGE. 58 00:03:59,646 --> 00:04:02,066 STARRING BUDDY HACKETT, JAMIE FARR, 59 00:04:02,149 --> 00:04:03,567 THE SOLID GOLD DANCERS, 60 00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:07,280 AND MARY LOU RETTON AS TINY TIM. 61 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,739 HOSTED BY SIR JOHN HOUSEMAN. 62 00:04:08,822 --> 00:04:10,157 BAH! HUMBUG! 63 00:04:10,199 --> 00:04:12,576 ANNOUNCER: IT WILL TOUCH YOUR EVERY HEARTSTRING. 64 00:04:12,659 --> 00:04:14,661 IT ALL STARTS ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 65 00:04:14,703 --> 00:04:17,497 CHRISTMAS EVE ON IBC... 66 00:04:23,254 --> 00:04:27,007 OH, MY GOSH. DOES THAT SUCK. 67 00:04:38,685 --> 00:04:40,313 YOU KNOW WHO LOVES MARY LOU RETTON? 68 00:04:40,353 --> 00:04:43,107 MY KIDS. 69 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:45,901 CHILDREN LOVE AN ACROBAT. 70 00:04:49,529 --> 00:04:51,782 OH, GOD. 71 00:04:51,865 --> 00:04:56,369 WE HAVE SPENT $40 MILLION ON A LIVE TV SHOW. 72 00:04:56,411 --> 00:04:57,830 YOU GUYS HAVE GOT AN AD 73 00:04:57,871 --> 00:05:00,415 WITH AMERICA'S FAVORITE OLD FART 74 00:05:00,499 --> 00:05:04,711 READING A BOOK IN FRONT OF A FIREPLACE! 75 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:10,550 NOW I HAVE TO KILL ALL OF YOU. 76 00:05:17,975 --> 00:05:21,728 MOTHER, HELP ME. 77 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:24,439 I DON'T WANT TO BE OUT OF LINE, BUT... 78 00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,317 WE'VE BEEN RUNNING THAT SPOT 79 00:05:26,399 --> 00:05:27,609 FOR OVER A MONTH, 80 00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:30,571 AND IT'S GETTING A HELL OF A RESPONSE. 81 00:05:32,406 --> 00:05:34,950 I AM THE YOUNGEST PRESIDENT 82 00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:38,996 IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION FOR A REASON. 83 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,582 I KNOW THE PEOPLE. 84 00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:44,919 GRANTED... 85 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,922 BUT THE PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH THE SHOW. 86 00:05:49,924 --> 00:05:52,426 THAT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! 87 00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:53,928 THEY MUST BE 88 00:05:53,969 --> 00:05:57,598 SO SCARED TO MISS IT. SO TERRIFIED! 89 00:05:57,681 --> 00:06:02,019 NOW, IF I WERE IN CHARGE, 90 00:06:02,103 --> 00:06:03,938 AND I AM. HA, HA! 91 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,607 HA, HA, HA! 92 00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:09,651 PERHAPS I CAN HELP YOU. 93 00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:12,821 HERE'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE. 94 00:06:17,368 --> 00:06:20,454 ( thunder rumbles ) 95 00:06:25,459 --> 00:06:27,502 ANNOUNCER: ACID RAIN. 96 00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:31,382 - ( screaming ) - AAH! AAH! 97 00:06:31,465 --> 00:06:32,925 ANNOUNCER: DRUG ADDICTION. 98 00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:34,593 ( groaning ) UHH. 99 00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:37,763 ANNOUNCER: INTERNATIONAL TERRORISM. 100 00:06:38,555 --> 00:06:40,724 FREEWAY KILLERS. 101 00:06:40,808 --> 00:06:42,559 NOW, MORE THAN EVER, 102 00:06:42,643 --> 00:06:45,646 IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS. 103 00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:50,776 DON'T MISS CHARLES DICKENS' IMMORTAL CLASSIC, SCROOGE. 104 00:06:50,818 --> 00:06:55,656 YOUR LIFE MIGHT JUST DEPEND ON IT. 105 00:06:58,159 --> 00:06:59,618 ( slurp ) 106 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,830 NOT BAD, HUH? 107 00:07:04,873 --> 00:07:07,793 I THINK THEY'LL LIKE IT IN THE HEARTLAND. 108 00:07:08,836 --> 00:07:12,256 I WANT IT EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR. 109 00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:14,467 I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT, FRANK. 110 00:07:14,508 --> 00:07:16,051 GET ME STANDARDS AND PRACTICES. 111 00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,886 I WANT TO SEE REESE. 112 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:21,556 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 113 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,560 MR. CROSS, WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT AD 114 00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:27,896 HAVE TO DO WITH SCROOGE? 115 00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:30,565 NOTHING. WHY? 116 00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:32,526 YOU CAN'T SHOW THAT COMMERCIAL. 117 00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,320 YOU RUN THAT, 118 00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:36,571 YOU'RE GONNA FRIGHTEN PEOPLE. 119 00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:37,990 I'M WAY OFF BASE? 120 00:07:38,032 --> 00:07:41,202 YES. YOU RE A TAD OFF BASE, SIR. 121 00:07:41,285 --> 00:07:43,037 IT LOOKED LIKE 122 00:07:43,078 --> 00:07:45,206 THE MANSON FAMILY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. 123 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:49,293 IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THIS KIND OF FEEDBACK! 124 00:07:49,377 --> 00:07:50,794 THAT'S BECAUSE, UM, 125 00:07:50,878 --> 00:07:53,422 IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER SEEN IT, SIR. 126 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,757 YOU'RE RIGHT. I SPRUNG IT ON YOU. 127 00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:57,634 WELL... 128 00:07:57,718 --> 00:08:03,891 JUST LOSE THE PART WITH THE GUN AND BLOOD. 129 00:08:03,932 --> 00:08:06,935 IF I CAN CHANGE IT, I'LL LET YOU KNOW IN FIVE MINUTES. 130 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,396 THANK YOU, SIR. 131 00:08:08,437 --> 00:08:11,148 THANK YOU. 132 00:08:11,232 --> 00:08:14,151 IN A LOT OF WAYS, WE'RE A LITTLE ALIKE. 133 00:08:14,235 --> 00:08:15,986 SIR... 134 00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,030 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 135 00:08:18,072 --> 00:08:19,240 THANKS. 136 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,657 THANK YOU. 137 00:08:20,741 --> 00:08:23,244 WE DON'T WANT TO SCARE THE DICKENS OUT OF PEOPLE. 138 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,745 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 139 00:08:24,786 --> 00:08:27,081 THE "DICKENS" OUT OF PEOPLE! 140 00:08:27,164 --> 00:08:29,083 NOBODY GETS IT. 141 00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:32,253 GRACE, WHO IS THAT GUY? 142 00:08:32,336 --> 00:08:34,422 ELIOT LOUDERMILK. 143 00:08:34,505 --> 00:08:36,798 HAVE SECURITY CHANGE HIS LOCKS, 144 00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:38,759 AND TOSS HIM OUT OF THE BUILDING. 145 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:41,135 HE'S FIRED? 146 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,264 BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS! 147 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,266 THANK YOU! 148 00:08:45,349 --> 00:08:48,269 CALL ACCOUNTING. STOP HIS BONUS. 149 00:08:48,352 --> 00:08:50,020 OOH, A CLEAR SHOT AT HIS BACK. 150 00:08:50,104 --> 00:08:54,066 ELIOT LOUDERMILK. CODE NINE. 151 00:08:54,107 --> 00:08:55,984 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 152 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,946 THAT'S A PAINTING ONE OF MY KIDS DID. 153 00:08:58,987 --> 00:09:01,990 THERE'S SANTA AND MRS. CLAUS. 154 00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,952 HOW MANY FINGERS DOES MRS. CLAUS HAVE? 155 00:09:05,035 --> 00:09:06,620 ELEVEN. 156 00:09:06,661 --> 00:09:09,915 RIGHT. IT'S CRAP. LOSE IT. 157 00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:11,250 ELIOT: SHE'LL UNDERSTAND. 158 00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:13,752 SHE'S AN AMAZINGLY UNDERSTANDING WOMAN. 159 00:09:13,794 --> 00:09:18,715 I'LL SAY, "WE HAVE TO MOVE TO A STUDIO APARTMENT. 160 00:09:18,799 --> 00:09:20,301 I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND." 161 00:09:21,969 --> 00:09:24,638 MR. CROSS, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST. 162 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,391 I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH. 163 00:09:27,475 --> 00:09:29,477 SAMMY GOLDBERG. 164 00:09:29,518 --> 00:09:30,978 BATH TOWEL. 165 00:09:31,061 --> 00:09:32,062 LOU PARKER. 166 00:09:32,146 --> 00:09:34,356 SEND HIM A VHS HOME VIDEO RECORDER. 167 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,401 COLONEL TOM PARKER. 168 00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:39,362 THE BATH TOWEL. 169 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:40,654 TAMARA FORRISTAL. 170 00:09:40,696 --> 00:09:43,032 VHS. 171 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:46,452 THERE'S VIRTUE IN TAKING A BUS TO WORK. 172 00:09:46,494 --> 00:09:48,371 HI, FELLAS. THANKS A LOT. 173 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:49,663 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 174 00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:51,081 BABALU TOWLOUDES. 175 00:09:51,165 --> 00:09:52,333 THE BATH TOWEL. 176 00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:56,753 ELIOT LOUDERMILK'S LEAVING EARLY TODAY. 177 00:09:56,837 --> 00:09:58,506 GET OUT OF HERE! 178 00:09:58,589 --> 00:10:02,301 DONE! 4 MINUTES AND 40 SECONDS. 179 00:10:02,343 --> 00:10:03,886 GLENN GLENN WHITACRE? 180 00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:05,429 WHAT WAS THE LAST RATING 181 00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:06,639 ON POLICE ZOO? 182 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:10,434 - 5.2 AND 70 SHARE. - TOWEL! 183 00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:11,935 YOUR BROTHER? 184 00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:14,647 TOWEL. 185 00:10:14,688 --> 00:10:16,857 YOUR ONLY BROTHER. 186 00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:19,193 OH, GOD. GIVE IT TO ME. 187 00:10:19,276 --> 00:10:20,570 ( phone buzzing ) 188 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,154 GET THAT! 189 00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:23,531 TOWEL, TOWEL. 190 00:10:23,614 --> 00:10:26,659 MR. CROSS OFFICE. UH, THANK YOU. 191 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:28,160 MOST OF THESE ARE TOWEL. 192 00:10:28,202 --> 00:10:29,537 BE WRONG ONCE, OK? 193 00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:32,039 MR. RHINELANDER'S ON HIS WAY DOWN. 194 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,589 BOOZE. ( burp ) 195 00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,382 PARDON ME. 196 00:10:41,465 --> 00:10:43,426 ( burp ) EXCUSE ME. 197 00:10:45,636 --> 00:10:47,221 GRACE... 198 00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:50,558 PUT YOURSELF DOWN FOR A TOWEL. 199 00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:51,767 NO BONUS? 200 00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:54,311 TOWEL AND A FACE CLOTH. 201 00:10:54,395 --> 00:10:55,605 AW, SHI-- 202 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,565 - FRANK. - HEY, PRES. 203 00:10:57,607 --> 00:10:58,732 WHAT A SURPRISE. 204 00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:01,318 GRACE. 205 00:11:01,402 --> 00:11:03,654 YOU DIDN'T TELL ME, GRACE. PRESTON. 206 00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:08,200 LOOK AT THIS. MARY LOU RETTON AS TINY TIM. 207 00:11:08,242 --> 00:11:10,578 CAN YOU BELIEVE THE FIRST DIRECTOR DIDN'T WANT HER? 208 00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,538 HE GO BYE-BYE. 209 00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:15,124 TINY TIM DOESN'T JUST 210 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,127 THROW AWAY THE CRUTCHES AND WALK. 211 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,878 SHE VAULTS OVER A LAMPPOST, 212 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,047 DOUBLE SOMERSAULT, 213 00:11:22,089 --> 00:11:24,091 BACK INTO ONE OF THESE THINGS. 214 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:26,927 FRANK. 215 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:30,806 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CATS ARE IN THIS COUNTRY? 216 00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:37,104 NO... I DON'T HAVE THOSE... NO. 217 00:11:37,146 --> 00:11:38,522 - 27 MILLION. - ( whistles ) 218 00:11:38,606 --> 00:11:41,024 YOU KNOW HOW MANY DOGS? 219 00:11:41,107 --> 00:11:42,985 - IN AMERICA? - 48 MILLION. 220 00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:46,780 WE SPEND $4 BILLION ON PET FOOD. 221 00:11:46,863 --> 00:11:49,158 FOUR... 222 00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,161 I HAVE A STUDY HERE WHICH SHOWS 223 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:55,623 CATS AND DOGS ARE BEGINNING TO WATCH TELEVISION. 224 00:11:55,706 --> 00:11:58,125 NOW, IF THESE SCIENTISTS ARE RIGHT, 225 00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,753 WE SHOULD START PROGRAMMING RIGHT NOW. 226 00:12:00,794 --> 00:12:01,920 WITHIN 20 YEARS, 227 00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:03,922 THEY COULD BECOME STEADY VIEWERS. 228 00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:07,259 PROGRAMMING FOR CATS? 229 00:12:08,051 --> 00:12:10,387 WALK WITH ME, FRANK. 230 00:12:12,806 --> 00:12:14,850 ( whispers ): CALL THE POLICE! 231 00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:21,732 I'M NOT SAYING BUILD A SHOW AROUND ANIMALS. 232 00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:23,609 ALL I'M SUGGESTING 233 00:12:23,651 --> 00:12:26,987 IS WE THROW IN A LITTLE PET APPEAL. 234 00:12:27,029 --> 00:12:28,781 SOME BIRDS, A SQUIRREL... 235 00:12:28,822 --> 00:12:30,866 - MICE. - MICE. EXACTLY. 236 00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:33,661 REMEMBER KOJAK AND THE LOLLIPOPS? 237 00:12:33,703 --> 00:12:35,705 WHAT ABOUT A COP THAT DANGLES STRING? 238 00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,665 THAT'S HIS GIMMICK. 239 00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:40,083 LOTS OF QUICK, RANDOM ACTION. 240 00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:43,671 WASN'T THERE A DORMOUSE IN SCROOGE? 241 00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:45,214 NO. BUT NOW THAT YOU SAY IT, 242 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:47,508 I ALWAYS FELT IT NEEDED A DORMOUSE. 243 00:12:47,591 --> 00:12:48,759 DORMICE! 244 00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:51,136 BINGO. 245 00:12:51,178 --> 00:12:53,847 THIS SHOW IS THE JEWEL IN THE IBC CROWN. 246 00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:55,683 EVERYTHING IS RIDING ON IT. 247 00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:59,019 DON'T WORRY. I'm OVERSEEING EVERY ASPECT OF PRODUCTION. 248 00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:00,813 WE'LL OWN CHRISTMAS. 249 00:13:00,854 --> 00:13:02,815 THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR. 250 00:13:04,692 --> 00:13:06,485 LUNCH TOMORROW? CHEZ JAY? 251 00:13:06,527 --> 00:13:08,195 - RIGHT. - UP, SID. 252 00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:09,363 STUDY THIS! 253 00:13:09,446 --> 00:13:11,198 THANK YOU. 254 00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:16,328 IF ONLY I COULD FIRE THAT POOR SON OF A BITCH. 255 00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:17,954 HEY, FRANK! 256 00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:19,707 HOLD THAT DOOR, WILL YOU, POPS? 257 00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:21,291 WAIT FOR ME. 258 00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:23,627 BRICE CUMMINGS. WE MET AT SPAGO. 259 00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,170 SEEN PRESTON? 260 00:13:25,212 --> 00:13:27,548 PRESTON JUST WENT BACK UPSTAIRS. 261 00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,883 I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH THE BIG GUY'S SON. 262 00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:32,052 GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU HIT THE COAST. 263 00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:33,554 LET'S GO. 264 00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:48,527 COME HERE! SLAM THIS DOOR, HARD! 265 00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:49,821 ( door slams ) 266 00:13:49,903 --> 00:13:53,115 I NEED A REPORT ON BRICE CUMMINGS. 267 00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:54,784 HE'S AN L.A. SLIMEBALL. 268 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:59,204 OKAY, I'M GOING TO LEAVE. 269 00:13:59,246 --> 00:14:01,499 NO. YOU'RE STAYING. WE'RE WORKING LATE. 270 00:14:01,582 --> 00:14:03,668 I'M TAKING MY SON TO THE DOCTOR. 271 00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:06,086 WHEN I WORK, YOU WORK. 272 00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:08,088 I MADE THE APPOINTMENT TWO MONTHS AGO! 273 00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:11,216 I CARE! WE'RE INDIVISIBLE! 274 00:14:11,258 --> 00:14:13,177 IF I'M WORKING LATE, YOU'VE GOT TO WORK LATE! 275 00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:15,471 IF YOU CAN'T WORK LATE, I CAN'T WORK LATE! 276 00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:20,100 IF I CAN'T WORK LATE, I CAN'T WORK LATE! 277 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:26,774 YOUR BROTHER'S WAITING INSIDE. 278 00:14:26,816 --> 00:14:28,400 OH, AND I DIDN'T TELL HIM 279 00:14:28,442 --> 00:14:31,195 ABOUT HIS GREAT CHRISTMAS TOWEL. 280 00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,203 FRANCIS. 281 00:14:39,286 --> 00:14:41,955 A LITTLE BIT ROUGH ON HER OUT THERE, WEREN'T YOU? 282 00:14:41,997 --> 00:14:43,248 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY 283 00:14:43,290 --> 00:14:45,334 ABOUT TREATING PEOPLE BADLY ON THE WAY UP? 284 00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,461 YEP. YOU GET TO TREAT THEM BADLY 285 00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:48,754 ON THE WAY DOWN, TOO. 286 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:52,550 IT'S GREAT, GETTING TWO CHANCES TO ROUGH 'EM UP. 287 00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:55,469 ( playing "We Three Kings Of Orient" ) 288 00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,604 WHY DON'T THE COPS DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS? 289 00:15:05,646 --> 00:15:07,481 GREAT. RIP OFF THE HICKS, WHY DON'T YOU? 290 00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:11,026 DID YOU LEARN THIS SONG YESTERDAY? 291 00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:12,653 DON'T YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS? 292 00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:14,112 LIKE IT? I LOVE IT! 293 00:15:14,154 --> 00:15:15,489 IT'S COLD. 294 00:15:15,531 --> 00:15:17,241 PEOPLE STAY HOME AND WATCH TELEVISION. 295 00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:18,826 AND REVENUES GO UP 30%. 296 00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:21,370 THESE IDIOTS ARE GOING TO WATCH THE BOOB TUBE TONIGHT. 297 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:24,540 I'M THE BIGGEST FAN THAT CHRISTMAS EVER HAD. 298 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:27,334 ANY CHANCE YOU'LL MAKE CHRISTMAS DINNER? 299 00:15:27,418 --> 00:15:28,586 NONE. 300 00:15:28,669 --> 00:15:30,337 COME ON. WHY NOT? 301 00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:32,005 THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL BE THERE. 302 00:15:32,047 --> 00:15:33,215 IT'LL BE FUN. 303 00:15:33,298 --> 00:15:35,551 YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WONDERFUL DINNER 304 00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,095 WITH YOUR COOL FRIENDS AND REAL POPCORN 305 00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:39,972 AND THE TREE, CRANBERRIES AND EVERYTHING. 306 00:15:40,013 --> 00:15:42,850 SEND CHRISTMAS CARDS ON RECYCLED PAPER. 307 00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:44,518 IT'S A CROCK. 308 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,811 IT'S FOR KIDS. 309 00:15:45,853 --> 00:15:47,980 I LIKE SEEING YOU. 310 00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:51,400 I LIKE BEING WITH YOU. 311 00:15:51,482 --> 00:15:55,070 I WANT YOU TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR. 312 00:15:55,153 --> 00:15:56,906 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 313 00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,950 TAXI! 314 00:15:59,032 --> 00:16:00,367 EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 315 00:16:00,451 --> 00:16:03,579 I THINK YOU DROPPED SOMETHING. 316 00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:05,414 THAT'S MY CAB. 317 00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:08,083 OH, SIR, PLEASE. 318 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,752 YOU SON OF A BITCH! 319 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:10,962 YOU SHOULD BURN IN HELL. 320 00:16:11,044 --> 00:16:12,379 BYE-BYE, GRANDMA. 321 00:16:12,421 --> 00:16:13,714 OH, YOU! 322 00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:19,678 FRANK: I GOT INTO BROADCASTING BECAUSE I LIKE TO GIVE. 323 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:24,224 SOMETIMES I FOUND MYSELF HURTING FROM GIVING TOO MUCH, 324 00:16:24,308 --> 00:16:26,560 AND I'D SAY, "STOP IT." 325 00:16:28,562 --> 00:16:32,566 I'M ALWAYS GOING TO CHERISH THIS... 326 00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:33,859 AND ALL OF YOU. 327 00:16:33,901 --> 00:16:36,946 ( applause ) 328 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,906 ELIOT: I SHOULD HAVE WENT IN THERE. 329 00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:41,366 I SHOULD HAVE SAID, "FRANK CROSS--" 330 00:16:51,585 --> 00:16:54,087 AAH! 331 00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:56,256 YOU STINKING-- 332 00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,216 YOU BIG DOG, YOU! - ( bottle breaks ) 333 00:16:59,301 --> 00:16:59,588 ( car horn honks ) 334 00:16:59,779 --> 00:17:00,910 ( car horn honks ) 335 00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,457 DRIVER: $4.85. 336 00:17:06,499 --> 00:17:08,793 HERE'S $5.00. 337 00:17:27,979 --> 00:17:30,356 - MR. CROSS. - MR. CROSS. 338 00:17:33,776 --> 00:17:36,238 GRACE: WASN'T HE A MEDICAL GENIUS? 339 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,783 CALVIN, I THINK "DOCTOR" IS A LATIN WORD FOR "THIEF". 340 00:17:40,825 --> 00:17:45,413 $200 I DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME YOU DON'T SPEAK. 341 00:17:45,496 --> 00:17:46,664 I'M YOUR MOTHER. 342 00:17:46,748 --> 00:17:49,709 I KNOW YOU DON'T SPEAK...YET. 343 00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:54,089 WE'LL SHOW THEM, HONEY. 344 00:17:54,172 --> 00:17:56,340 YOU'RE GOING TO SURPRISE A LOT OF PEOPLE. 345 00:17:56,382 --> 00:17:58,802 YES, YOU ARE. 346 00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:00,428 YOU START TALKING, 347 00:18:00,511 --> 00:18:03,014 THEN GO TO LAW SCHOOL AND SUE HIS BUTT OFF. 348 00:18:06,684 --> 00:18:08,937 ( knocking ) 349 00:18:10,354 --> 00:18:12,607 COME! 350 00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:15,235 ( knocking ) 351 00:18:15,318 --> 00:18:17,487 WHO'S THERE? 352 00:18:40,093 --> 00:18:41,845 ( boom ) 353 00:18:45,223 --> 00:18:47,225 THIS OFFICE IS CLOSED! 354 00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:49,811 THIS WHOLE WING IS CLOSED! 355 00:18:49,894 --> 00:18:52,062 GRACE! GRACE! 356 00:18:52,147 --> 00:18:54,691 ( pounding ) 357 00:19:09,998 --> 00:19:11,875 WHOO-WEE! 358 00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:14,418 THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. 359 00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:16,254 HOW ARE YOU, KID? 360 00:19:16,296 --> 00:19:18,382 WILL YOU, UH... 361 00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:19,674 WILL YOU EXCUSE ME? 362 00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:22,927 I'LL MAKE MYSELF A DRINK. 363 00:19:25,471 --> 00:19:27,265 BANG-O, BANG-O, BANG-O! 364 00:19:27,307 --> 00:19:28,558 BOOM-BA! 365 00:19:28,599 --> 00:19:29,976 BA-BANG, BA-BANG! 366 00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:32,562 BLAM! BLAM! 367 00:19:32,603 --> 00:19:33,771 I DON'T MIND YOU HITTING ME, 368 00:19:33,855 --> 00:19:36,066 BUT TAKE IT EASY ON THE BACARDI. 369 00:19:38,235 --> 00:19:39,777 ( squeak squeak ) 370 00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:44,699 OH! 371 00:19:47,911 --> 00:19:49,495 AAH! 372 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:50,997 TO OLD TIMES, 373 00:19:51,081 --> 00:19:52,790 MY FRIEND. 374 00:20:01,632 --> 00:20:04,719 OH, MY GOD. IT'S... 375 00:20:04,802 --> 00:20:07,180 LEW HAYWARD. YOUR OLD BOSS. 376 00:20:07,264 --> 00:20:08,432 YOUR BEST FRIEND. 377 00:20:08,472 --> 00:20:10,434 BUT YOU'RE... 378 00:20:14,312 --> 00:20:15,521 DEAD. 379 00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,481 SEVEN YEARS. 380 00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:19,150 THAT LONG? 381 00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:20,818 TO LOOK AT YOU, 382 00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:24,197 I WOULDN'T HAVE GUESSED MORE THAN THREE, TOPS. 383 00:20:24,281 --> 00:20:25,489 FRANK. 384 00:20:25,531 --> 00:20:27,409 FRANK, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE. 385 00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:28,868 BIG TROUBLE. 386 00:20:28,952 --> 00:20:32,705 LET'S JUST SAY-- FOR ARGUMENT'S SAKE-- 387 00:20:32,789 --> 00:20:34,165 THAT I AM IN TROUBLE. 388 00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:35,499 WHAT WOULD THAT MEAN? 389 00:20:35,541 --> 00:20:38,378 LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT YOUR FUTURE. 390 00:20:38,462 --> 00:20:40,088 IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR WAYS, 391 00:20:40,171 --> 00:20:44,050 YOU'RE GOING TO WIND UP DOOMED LIKE ME. 392 00:20:44,134 --> 00:20:46,344 ( coughs ) 393 00:20:46,428 --> 00:20:51,515 ONE MINUTE, I'M ON THE 14TH HOLE. 394 00:20:51,557 --> 00:20:55,519 A HEART ATTACK LATER, I'M A WORM FEAST. 395 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,938 NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. 396 00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:58,731 YOU'RE NOT A WORM FEAST. 397 00:20:58,815 --> 00:21:00,566 YOU'RE A HALLUCINATION 398 00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:02,152 BROUGHT ON BY ALCOHOL-- 399 00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:05,155 RUSSIAN VODKA POISONED BY CHERNOBYL. 400 00:21:05,196 --> 00:21:07,198 I'VE BEEN UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE. 401 00:21:07,282 --> 00:21:09,533 - I'VE-- - SILENCE! 402 00:21:09,575 --> 00:21:11,035 OUCH! 403 00:21:12,036 --> 00:21:13,704 I HAD IT ALL. 404 00:21:13,746 --> 00:21:16,374 I WAS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY-- 405 00:21:16,416 --> 00:21:18,168 FEARED BY MEN, 406 00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:19,709 ADORED BY WOMEN. 407 00:21:19,752 --> 00:21:22,964 ADORED! LET'S BE HONEST, LEW. 408 00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:25,049 YOU PAID FOR THE WOMEN. - I'M WARNING YOU. 409 00:21:25,091 --> 00:21:28,386 DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE AS I DID MINE. 410 00:21:28,428 --> 00:21:31,639 WASTE? YOU'RE A LEGEND. 411 00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:33,850 YOU INVENTED THE MINISERIES. 412 00:21:33,891 --> 00:21:35,685 MANKIND SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY BUSINESS! 413 00:21:35,726 --> 00:21:38,355 CHARITY. MERCY. KINDNESS. 414 00:21:38,396 --> 00:21:42,566 DON'T WAIT. GET INVOLVED. 415 00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:46,696 IT'S NOT TOO LATE. YOU CAN BE SAVED. 416 00:21:46,736 --> 00:21:50,367 YOU ARE GOING TO BE VISITED BY THREE GHOSTS. 417 00:21:50,408 --> 00:21:51,617 THREE GHOSTS. 418 00:21:51,701 --> 00:21:53,453 THREE GHOSTS. 419 00:21:53,537 --> 00:21:56,580 EXPECT THE FIRST ONE TOMORROW AT NOON. 420 00:21:56,622 --> 00:21:59,000 GOD, TOMORROW IS BAD FOR ME. 421 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:01,878 THE WHOLE WEEK IS A WASHOUT. 422 00:22:01,919 --> 00:22:03,921 MAYBE WE COULD HAVE DRINKS THURSDAY. 423 00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:05,923 YOU, ME, THE GHOST. TRADER VIC'S AROUND 4:00? 424 00:22:05,965 --> 00:22:09,553 THIS IS NO JOKE! IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE! 425 00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:12,180 I COULD SQUEEZE YOU IN FOR BREAKFAST-- 426 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,015 AAH! 427 00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,936 OH, LEW! 428 00:22:18,019 --> 00:22:19,396 THEY'LL THINK I'M A SUICIDE! 429 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,647 HA, HA, HA! 430 00:22:21,731 --> 00:22:23,191 AAH! OH! 431 00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,943 GOD! 432 00:22:24,984 --> 00:22:26,445 WE'RE WAY UP HERE! 433 00:22:26,528 --> 00:22:28,363 GIVE ME A BREAK! 434 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:30,698 YOU CAN BE SAVED! 435 00:22:30,782 --> 00:22:32,451 YOU'VE GOT TIME! 436 00:22:32,492 --> 00:22:34,286 OH, NO! 437 00:22:34,327 --> 00:22:37,247 NO, PLEASE! 438 00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:39,165 HA, HA, HA! 439 00:22:39,249 --> 00:22:42,085 AAH! AAH! AAH! 440 00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:44,254 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 441 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:47,215 OH! AAH! AAH! 442 00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:48,592 HA, HA, HA! 443 00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:51,303 AAH! AAH! 444 00:22:57,725 --> 00:23:01,646 ( telephone dialing ) 445 00:23:01,687 --> 00:23:03,356 ( telephone ringing ) 446 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:09,488 HI, THIS IS CLAIRE PHILLIPS. 447 00:23:09,571 --> 00:23:12,073 LEAVE A MESSAGE, AND I'LL CALL YOU BACK. 448 00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:13,825 HO, HO, HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS. 449 00:23:13,866 --> 00:23:15,327 SPEAK AT THE BEEP. 450 00:23:15,410 --> 00:23:16,536 ( beep ) 451 00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:21,040 CLAIRE! THIS IS FRANK... 452 00:23:21,124 --> 00:23:22,334 CROSS. 453 00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:27,922 I KNOW IT'S BEEN... 15 YEARS SINCE WE TALKED, 454 00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:31,259 BUT I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 455 00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,886 SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED. 456 00:23:36,806 --> 00:23:38,308 OR MAYBE NOT. I DON'T KNOW. 457 00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:42,437 I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU, NO MATTER WHAT. 458 00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,022 CALL ME AT ANY HOUR. 459 00:23:44,105 --> 00:23:46,899 MY NUMBER IS 674-9565-- 460 00:23:46,983 --> 00:23:49,694 - 674-9565-- - ( beep ) 461 00:23:49,777 --> 00:23:51,696 DAMN! 462 00:24:19,683 --> 00:24:19,928 WELL? 463 00:24:20,163 --> 00:24:21,586 WELL? 464 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,045 WELL, WHAT? 465 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,131 DID YOU GET THE BONUS? 466 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:28,468 I'M DRYING MY HEAD WITH IT. 467 00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,640 HEY, WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 468 00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:35,767 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? 469 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:37,017 TRIMMING THE TREE. 470 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:38,561 WE DON'T HAVE A TREE, MAMA. 471 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,605 WE DO NOW. 472 00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:41,815 NO! 473 00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:43,232 YES. 474 00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:44,734 DON'T PLUG HIM IN! 475 00:24:44,818 --> 00:24:46,319 PLUG HIM IN! 476 00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,324 TAKE IT OFF OF HIM! 477 00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:53,993 MOM, HE LOOKS SO PRETTY. 478 00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:56,830 CUTER THAN LAST YEAR. 479 00:24:56,871 --> 00:24:59,165 WHEN WILL WE GET A REAL TREE? 480 00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:01,292 WHEN THEY'RE FREE. 481 00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,838 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MORNING'S PAPER? 482 00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:06,756 WHO'S THAT? SHE'S PRETTY? 483 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,883 SHE'S DEAD, FRANK. 484 00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:11,177 APPARENTLY, THIS 80-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER 485 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,763 WAS WATCHING YOUR SCROOGE PROMO, 486 00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:16,182 AND SHE JUST KEELED OVER. 487 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:18,685 IT SCARED HER TO DEATH. 488 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,482 THIS IS TERRIFIC! 489 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,068 I KNEW THAT AD WORKED. 490 00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:31,364 YOU CAN'T BUY PUBLICITY LIKE THIS. 491 00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:33,199 AH! 492 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,993 GRACE: EXCUSE ME. 493 00:25:37,912 --> 00:25:40,206 MR. CROSS, YOU'RE NEEDED ON THE SET. 494 00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:44,210 RUN THAT PROMO EVERY 1/2 HOUR 495 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:45,545 WITH A DISCLAIMER, 496 00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:47,171 "ANYONE WITH A HEART CONDITION 497 00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:49,716 MUST LEAVE THE ROOM." 498 00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:51,050 WHERE WERE WE? 499 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:53,011 I WAS BEING HAUNTED. 500 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:54,345 OKAY. 501 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,055 IT'S GOT TO BE REAL GOLD! 502 00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:58,224 I DON'T UNDERSTAND-- 503 00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:03,938 YOU CAN'T DO THIS AT THE 11TH HOUR! 504 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:05,314 I AM THE CENSOR. 505 00:26:05,398 --> 00:26:07,483 I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS COSTUME ON THE AIR. 506 00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:08,735 WHY NOT? 507 00:26:08,818 --> 00:26:12,154 YOU CAN SEE HER NIPPLES. 508 00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:14,198 I WANT TO SEE HER NIPPLES! 509 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,492 THIS IS A CHRISTMAS SHOW! 510 00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:20,747 DICKENS WOULD HAVE WANTED TO SEE HER NIPPLES THEN! 511 00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:23,082 YOU CAN HARDLY SEE THEM NIPPLES. 512 00:26:23,165 --> 00:26:25,293 SEE? THESE GUYS ARE REALLY LOOKING! 513 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:27,837 GO SHAKE A TAIL FEATHER. 514 00:26:27,921 --> 00:26:29,422 YOU CAN JUST GO. 515 00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:33,051 - WATCH OUT. - AAH! 516 00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:35,720 THANKS, BOYS. GET THE NURSE. 517 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:38,056 GET THE NURSE! 518 00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:40,600 MAKE SURE HER NIPPLES ARE COVERED UP, WILL YOU? 519 00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:42,811 CLAIRE: LUMPY! 520 00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:44,604 LUMPY! 521 00:26:57,700 --> 00:26:59,367 HI. 522 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:04,081 I'M SORRY TO JUST-- 523 00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:05,291 I DIDN'T GET YOUR MESSAGE 524 00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:06,751 UNTIL THIS MORNING. 525 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:07,961 I TRIED TO CALL. 526 00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:11,965 THEY SAID YOU WEREN'T IN YET. 527 00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:14,884 SO I JUST-- 528 00:27:14,968 --> 00:27:16,970 GOD, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT. 529 00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:20,015 WELL, IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 530 00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:21,850 IT'S YOUR HAIR. 531 00:27:21,933 --> 00:27:23,392 I'VE NEVER SEEN IT SO SHORT. 532 00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:27,146 IT MAKES YOU LOOK SORT OF GROWN-UP. 533 00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:30,149 YO, FRANK! FRANK! 534 00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,194 I MEAN, MR. CROSS. CHECK THIS OUT. 535 00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:36,990 IT'S ON THE MONEY. 536 00:27:37,073 --> 00:27:38,992 WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT, PLEASE? 537 00:27:39,034 --> 00:27:43,245 ♪ 5, 6, 7, HIT IT! ♪ 538 00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:45,040 - AAH! - CAN I TURN HER HEAD? 539 00:27:45,123 --> 00:27:46,541 NO! 540 00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:49,085 THAT WORKS. SEE? 541 00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,087 ♪ AND UH, AND... ♪♪ 542 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:54,173 A LITTLE BOOTY HERE FOR YOU. 543 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:55,967 SEE? SHOW ME A NIPPLE. 544 00:27:56,009 --> 00:27:57,968 YOU HAD TO SEE IT IN CONTEXT. 545 00:27:58,011 --> 00:27:59,428 MOVE HER, PLEASE? 546 00:27:59,512 --> 00:28:02,181 ALLEY-OOP! 547 00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:03,391 IS SHE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT? 548 00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:07,311 OH, YEAH. SHE'S A REAL PRO. 549 00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:08,563 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 550 00:28:08,646 --> 00:28:11,524 YOU SOUNDED LIKE YOU'D SEEN A GHOST. 551 00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,359 A GHOST? 552 00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:17,155 YOU MEAN THE PHONE CALL LAST NIGHT? 553 00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:21,117 I CAME ACROSS YOUR NUMBER AND HAD TO CALL YOU. 554 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,660 I KNOW THAT VOICE. 555 00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:25,121 THAT WAS THE FRIGHTENED LUMPY. 556 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:26,455 MAN: EXCUSE ME, LUMPY. 557 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:30,001 PEOPLE HERE CALL ME MR. CROSS. 558 00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:31,794 SORRY. I'VE GOT A PROBLEM. 559 00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:33,212 I'LL BET. WHAT? 560 00:28:33,254 --> 00:28:35,173 THIS LITTLE FELLA. 561 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:36,507 OH! 562 00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:39,761 I CAN'T GET THE ANTLERS GLUED ONTO THIS GUY. 563 00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:41,303 CRAZY GLUE DON'T WORK. 564 00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:43,556 - HAVE YOU TRIED STAPLES? - STAPLES? 565 00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:47,226 DON'T! IF YOU STAPLE THAT MOUSE, 566 00:28:47,309 --> 00:28:48,978 I'LL CALL THE HUMANE SOCIETY! 567 00:28:49,062 --> 00:28:50,730 I WOULDN'T HURT THIS FELLA. 568 00:28:50,813 --> 00:28:53,608 HEY, MARLIN PERKINS, HIT THE ROAD. 569 00:28:53,691 --> 00:28:54,776 I HAVE DOGS... 570 00:28:54,859 --> 00:28:57,862 BEAUTIFUL STORY. TELL READER'S DIGEST. 571 00:28:58,905 --> 00:29:01,074 STAPLES? 572 00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:04,035 SAME OLD CLAIRE... 573 00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,829 STILL TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD. 574 00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:08,957 YOU STILL TRYING TO RUN IT? 575 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,750 MAN: HERE, POP! 576 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,418 HERE, POP! LET'S GO! 577 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,921 GET OUT OF HERE! 578 00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,297 YOU CALLED ME. 579 00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:18,758 WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY? 580 00:29:18,841 --> 00:29:20,593 YOU LITTLE WORM. 581 00:29:20,676 --> 00:29:22,011 WHO ARE YOU? 582 00:29:22,095 --> 00:29:23,471 HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? 583 00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:26,348 MAYBE YOU'LL ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS DOWNTOWN. 584 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,102 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 585 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,104 THIS IS MY LITTLE BOY. 586 00:29:31,187 --> 00:29:32,855 YOU BEAT HIM. 587 00:29:32,939 --> 00:29:34,482 DOES HE WORK HERE? 588 00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:36,567 NO. I THOUGHT HE WOULD HAVE FUN 589 00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,444 SEEING A LIVE TELEVISION SHOW. 590 00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:41,280 YOU SEE ANYBODY HAVING FUN? 591 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:44,533 WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY? 592 00:29:44,617 --> 00:29:46,161 WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVER LEARNED 593 00:29:46,244 --> 00:29:48,537 HOW TO BUTTON A COAT? 594 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:52,625 WELL, YOU KNOW ME. I WAS IN A HURRY. 595 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:56,462 HEADS UP. LADDER COMING THROUGH. 596 00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:01,801 I'M SORRY I CALLED SO LATE LAST NIGHT. 597 00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:04,262 I MUST HAVE WOKEN UP YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR KIDS. 598 00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:06,471 I NEVER MARRIED. 599 00:30:06,514 --> 00:30:08,516 I'M STILL ON MY OWN. 600 00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:10,059 YOU? 601 00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:11,393 UH, NO. 602 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,689 - NO? - NO. 603 00:30:14,772 --> 00:30:18,151 WOULD YOU HOLD THE GOD DAMN HAMMERING, PLEASE? 604 00:30:18,234 --> 00:30:20,444 FRANK, I BETTER GO. YOU'RE BUSY. 605 00:30:20,486 --> 00:30:22,404 NO! NO, DON'T GO. 606 00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:26,325 WOULD YOU HOLD THE GOD DAMN HAMMERING... 607 00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:27,577 - FRANK-- - PLEASE! 608 00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:32,582 FRANK, WHAT DID HAPPEN LAST NIGHT? 609 00:30:32,665 --> 00:30:35,543 IT WAS SOMETHING I ATE, PROBABLY A BAD CLAM. 610 00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:37,670 WE DON'T KNOW YET. 611 00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:42,508 WELL, IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN... 612 00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:46,221 GIVE ME A CALL. 613 00:30:46,304 --> 00:30:47,847 HERE. I'M HARDLY EVER HOME. 614 00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:49,432 I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO CALL 615 00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:51,226 BECAUSE I'M A SEAFOOD NUT, 616 00:30:51,309 --> 00:30:52,685 AND TO NOT EAT CLAMS... 617 00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:55,521 WHAT THE HELL'S LIFE FOR? 618 00:30:56,397 --> 00:30:58,024 ( telephone rings ) 619 00:30:58,108 --> 00:31:01,652 WOULD YOU, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD 620 00:31:01,694 --> 00:31:02,987 AND YOUR OWN BODY, 621 00:31:03,029 --> 00:31:04,739 HOLD THE HAMMERING! 622 00:31:04,822 --> 00:31:06,074 CLAIRE. 623 00:31:06,157 --> 00:31:07,450 IT'S THE TIMES. 624 00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:09,286 THEY WANT A REACTION TO THE WOMAN'S DEATH. 625 00:31:09,327 --> 00:31:10,787 ( indistinct ) 626 00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:12,538 IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING SHE ATE. 627 00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:14,916 HE SAID, "IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING SHE ATE." 628 00:31:14,999 --> 00:31:17,210 OH, GEE! 629 00:31:17,294 --> 00:31:18,544 THIS IS FRANK CROSS. 630 00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:20,338 WE AT IBC ARE SHOCKED 631 00:31:20,421 --> 00:31:23,883 BY THIS SENSELESS TRAGEDY. 632 00:31:23,925 --> 00:31:28,138 WOULD YOU PLEASE HOLD THE GOD DAMN HAMMERING! 633 00:31:29,973 --> 00:31:31,724 YOU GOT IT! 634 00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:39,065 AAH! 635 00:31:39,899 --> 00:31:42,735 OH, SHIT! 636 00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:44,570 I'M GOING TO LUNCH. 637 00:31:44,612 --> 00:31:44,899 SO, HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING, FRANK? 638 00:31:45,176 --> 00:31:48,101 SO, HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING, FRANK? 639 00:31:48,184 --> 00:31:50,270 COULDN'T BE BETTER, PRESTON. 640 00:31:50,353 --> 00:31:53,898 MR. RHINELANDER, HELLO. MR. CROSS. 641 00:31:53,981 --> 00:31:56,109 MAY I GET YOU SOMETHING FROM THE BAR? 642 00:31:56,192 --> 00:31:58,111 YES. I'D LIKE A HIGHBALL. 643 00:31:58,194 --> 00:32:00,321 I'LL HAVE A HIGHBALL, TOO. 644 00:32:07,870 --> 00:32:10,248 YOU HEARD FROM THE EMBASSY? 645 00:32:10,331 --> 00:32:11,625 YES. EVERYTHING'S FINE. 646 00:32:11,666 --> 00:32:13,084 WE'RE GOING TO BE SWITCHING LIVE 647 00:32:13,167 --> 00:32:17,463 BACK AND FORTH FROM OUR SCROOGE 648 00:32:17,547 --> 00:32:20,550 WHERE WE'VE GOT LEROY NEIMAN PAINTING THE WALL FOR US. 649 00:32:20,592 --> 00:32:22,343 THEN WE'LL SHOOT OUT TO AFRICA 650 00:32:22,385 --> 00:32:26,347 WHERE THE POPE WILL BLESS THE ZULU NATION-- 651 00:32:26,389 --> 00:32:28,891 THE LARGEST BAPTISM EVER. 652 00:32:28,933 --> 00:32:30,393 THAT'S JUST THE POINT, FRANK. 653 00:32:30,435 --> 00:32:33,062 YOU'RE SPREADING YOURSELF TOO THIN, 654 00:32:33,146 --> 00:32:37,484 SO I'VE HIRED SOMEBODY TO WORK WITH YOU. 655 00:32:37,567 --> 00:32:38,734 OH, GREAT. 656 00:32:38,818 --> 00:32:40,445 I KNEW YOU'D BE PLEASED. 657 00:32:40,528 --> 00:32:42,614 I COULDN'T BE MORE PLEASED. 658 00:32:42,697 --> 00:32:43,948 WHO IS IT? 659 00:32:44,031 --> 00:32:45,825 PELEGRINO, ROCKS, TWIST. 660 00:32:45,908 --> 00:32:48,869 WE MEET AGAIN. HOW ARE YOU? 661 00:32:48,911 --> 00:32:50,955 BLUE IS A BAD COLOR FOR NEW YORK. 662 00:32:51,038 --> 00:32:55,376 I REALIZE THIS IS COMING AT YOU FAST. 663 00:32:55,418 --> 00:32:57,044 MY ONLY FUNCTION HERE 664 00:32:57,086 --> 00:32:59,088 IS TO TAKE THE BURDEN OFF YOUR SHOULDERS. 665 00:32:59,172 --> 00:33:02,717 MANY MEN WOULD FEEL THREATENED. 666 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:03,884 ( beep ) 667 00:33:03,926 --> 00:33:05,428 THAT'S ME! 668 00:33:05,470 --> 00:33:09,098 YOU ARE GOING TO BE VISITED BY THREE GHOSTS. 669 00:33:09,182 --> 00:33:12,435 EXPECT THE FIRST ONE AT NOON. 670 00:33:12,519 --> 00:33:14,770 I REALIZE THIS IS COMING AT YOU FAST. 671 00:33:14,854 --> 00:33:17,106 MY ONLY FUNCTION IS TO TAKE 672 00:33:17,190 --> 00:33:18,858 THE BURDEN OFF YOUR SHOULDERS. 673 00:33:18,941 --> 00:33:21,861 MANY MEN WOULD FEEL THREATENED. 674 00:33:21,944 --> 00:33:23,363 THAT'S ME! 675 00:33:23,446 --> 00:33:25,865 THIS WATCH IS A BEAUTY. 676 00:33:25,947 --> 00:33:27,367 MY DAD GAVE ME THIS. 677 00:33:27,450 --> 00:33:29,285 AH HAAA! 678 00:33:34,915 --> 00:33:36,417 BUT... 679 00:33:39,253 --> 00:33:42,673 BUT WHEN--WHEN PRESTON HIRED ME THIS MORNING 680 00:33:42,757 --> 00:33:44,800 AS A SORT OF-- 681 00:33:44,884 --> 00:33:47,345 A CONSULTANT, I SUPPOSE YOU MIGHT SAY, 682 00:33:47,428 --> 00:33:51,391 I SAID, "CONSIDER ME ONE OF THE TEAM." 683 00:33:51,474 --> 00:33:55,185 MY LACROSSE COACH, HE USED TO SAY, 684 00:33:55,268 --> 00:33:58,648 THERE IS NO "I" IN T-E-A-M. 685 00:33:58,732 --> 00:34:00,941 HERE WE ARE, GENTLEMEN. 686 00:34:01,025 --> 00:34:02,443 HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, SIR, 687 00:34:02,485 --> 00:34:04,320 AND ONE FOR YOU. 688 00:34:04,404 --> 00:34:05,529 BOB-- AAH! 689 00:34:05,613 --> 00:34:07,323 AAH! AAH! AAH! 690 00:34:07,365 --> 00:34:10,201 AAH! AAH! 691 00:34:22,045 --> 00:34:23,380 I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. I-- 692 00:34:23,464 --> 00:34:25,507 ARE YOU HIM? 693 00:34:25,550 --> 00:34:27,301 ARE YOU HIM? 694 00:34:27,342 --> 00:34:30,346 ARE YOU HE? 695 00:34:30,429 --> 00:34:32,473 I'LL TAKE IT AWAY. 696 00:34:32,515 --> 00:34:35,392 NOW, DON'T, UH... 697 00:34:35,476 --> 00:34:38,187 DON'T COME APART ON ME, FRANK. 698 00:34:41,315 --> 00:34:42,775 NOW, WHAT WAS THAT 699 00:34:42,817 --> 00:34:44,192 THAT YOUR LACROSSE COACH SAID? 700 00:34:44,235 --> 00:34:46,154 NO, THE POINT IS, FRANK-- 701 00:34:46,195 --> 00:34:48,197 ARE YOU READY TO ORDER? 702 00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,284 GREAT. YEAH. I'LL HAVE THE CALIFORNIA HEALTH PLATE. 703 00:34:51,367 --> 00:34:53,829 NO DAIRY IN THAT, HUH? 704 00:34:53,911 --> 00:34:55,705 HOW'S THE RACK OF LAMB? 705 00:34:55,788 --> 00:34:57,707 EXCELLENT CHOICE, SIR. 706 00:34:57,748 --> 00:34:59,208 SIR? 707 00:35:00,836 --> 00:35:03,212 OH, MY GOD! AAH! 708 00:35:03,254 --> 00:35:05,548 BO-- BOBBY! 709 00:35:05,590 --> 00:35:07,425 BOBBY, LOOK! SOMEBODY SAVE HIM! 710 00:35:07,509 --> 00:35:08,884 THAT'S A BAKED ALASKA. 711 00:35:08,968 --> 00:35:11,387 THAT'S A DESSERT. 712 00:35:11,471 --> 00:35:13,014 AAH! LOOK! AAH! 713 00:35:13,097 --> 00:35:16,142 OH, NO, SIR. THAT GENTLEMAN HAD MEAT LOAF. 714 00:35:16,225 --> 00:35:18,144 YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT, SIR. 715 00:35:18,227 --> 00:35:20,021 IT'S NOT-- IT'S FULL OF-- 716 00:35:20,062 --> 00:35:22,649 - SIR? - I'LL HAVE-- 717 00:35:22,731 --> 00:35:24,150 HAVE? 718 00:35:24,233 --> 00:35:26,778 I'M GOING TO HAVE SOME AIR. 719 00:35:26,862 --> 00:35:29,113 UH, EXCUSE ME. 720 00:35:29,197 --> 00:35:30,365 AAH! 721 00:35:30,406 --> 00:35:32,283 AAH! AAH! 722 00:35:36,621 --> 00:35:38,581 I'M SORRY. 723 00:35:38,623 --> 00:35:42,210 YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT YOU WERE RICHARD PRYOR. 724 00:35:42,251 --> 00:35:43,461 ( clank ) 725 00:35:54,890 --> 00:35:57,933 - GET ME A CAB! - YES, SIR. 726 00:36:01,437 --> 00:36:02,647 ( whistles ) 727 00:36:03,481 --> 00:36:04,649 ( tires squeal ) 728 00:36:04,733 --> 00:36:06,108 ( crash ) 729 00:36:10,071 --> 00:36:12,448 CUT THROUGH THE PARK AND TAKE ME OVER TO-- 730 00:36:12,490 --> 00:36:14,367 WHOA! HEY, MAN! 731 00:36:14,450 --> 00:36:16,536 OH! OH! 732 00:36:16,619 --> 00:36:17,953 AAH! 733 00:36:18,037 --> 00:36:20,206 WATCH OUT! AAH! 734 00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:22,667 AAH! 735 00:36:22,751 --> 00:36:24,920 HEY! HEY! 736 00:36:25,002 --> 00:36:27,380 WHOA! 737 00:36:29,591 --> 00:36:30,966 WRONG WAY, JERK! 738 00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:32,968 NICE HIT BACK THERE! SOLID HIT! 739 00:36:33,052 --> 00:36:35,054 AAH! YOU RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! 740 00:36:35,096 --> 00:36:37,557 RELAX, FRANK. 741 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:38,934 HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? 742 00:36:39,016 --> 00:36:41,477 I KNOW ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, FRANK. 743 00:36:41,561 --> 00:36:42,854 YOU SEE... 744 00:36:42,938 --> 00:36:44,856 I'M THE GHOST. 745 00:36:44,940 --> 00:36:46,775 HA, HA, HA! 746 00:36:46,816 --> 00:36:49,318 HA, HA, HA! 747 00:36:51,738 --> 00:36:53,949 HA, HA, HA! 748 00:36:53,989 --> 00:36:56,534 HA, HA, HA! 749 00:36:56,618 --> 00:36:58,661 YOU DON'T MIND IF I SMOKE, DO YOU? 750 00:36:58,703 --> 00:37:01,372 SMOKE! SMOKE! JUST DRIVE! 751 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:05,961 ( tires squeal ) 752 00:37:12,133 --> 00:37:15,929 OH, THANKS, PAL. HA, HA, HA! 753 00:37:17,973 --> 00:37:21,434 AAH! AAH! AAH! 754 00:37:24,854 --> 00:37:27,899 WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO? 755 00:37:27,983 --> 00:37:30,526 HA, HA, HA! 756 00:37:30,609 --> 00:37:33,404 THAT'S NOT FUNNY! NOT FUNNY! OH! OH! 757 00:37:33,488 --> 00:37:37,366 ALL RIGHT! PULL OVER! PULL OVER! 758 00:37:37,450 --> 00:37:39,535 HA, HA, HA! 759 00:37:42,705 --> 00:37:44,039 - HA, HA, HA! - WHERE ARE WE? 760 00:37:44,123 --> 00:37:45,291 WHERE ARE WE? 761 00:37:45,333 --> 00:37:48,085 YOU MEAN, WHEN ARE WE? 762 00:37:48,169 --> 00:37:49,754 OH! HA, HA, HA! 763 00:37:49,838 --> 00:37:51,714 ( frantic honking ) 764 00:37:51,756 --> 00:37:53,716 AAH! 765 00:37:53,758 --> 00:37:55,176 LOOK OUT! 766 00:37:56,552 --> 00:37:59,722 GO BACK TO JERSEY, YOU MORON! 767 00:37:59,764 --> 00:38:01,891 HA, HA, HA! 768 00:38:01,975 --> 00:38:04,727 TAKE ME HOME RIGHT NOW. 769 00:38:04,769 --> 00:38:06,562 YOU GOT IT, PAL. 770 00:38:14,370 --> 00:38:15,830 WELCOME HOME, FRANKIE. 771 00:38:15,914 --> 00:38:18,625 ( coughing ) 772 00:38:18,708 --> 00:38:21,836 OH, MY GOD! 773 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:23,838 THIS IS WHERE I GREW UP. 774 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,632 I THOUGHT THEY TORE THIS PLACE DOWN. 775 00:38:25,715 --> 00:38:26,883 THEY DID. 776 00:38:26,966 --> 00:38:29,761 MY DAD HASN'T PUT UP OUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS YET. 777 00:38:29,844 --> 00:38:33,681 FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. 778 00:38:35,850 --> 00:38:37,227 I GET IT. 779 00:38:37,311 --> 00:38:38,645 YOU'RE TAKING ME BACK IN TIME 780 00:38:38,728 --> 00:38:40,647 TO SHOW ME MY MOTHER AND FATHER. 781 00:38:40,688 --> 00:38:44,276 I'M SUPPOSED TO GET ALL GOOSEY AND BLUBBERY. 782 00:38:44,318 --> 00:38:46,653 YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY. 783 00:38:46,694 --> 00:38:48,197 ATTILA THE HUN SAID THAT. 784 00:38:48,238 --> 00:38:50,324 WHEN HE SAW HIS MOTHER, 785 00:38:50,365 --> 00:38:52,326 NIAGARA FALLS. 786 00:38:52,367 --> 00:38:55,329 LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 787 00:39:01,293 --> 00:39:04,129 - ( thud ) - HA, HA, HA! 788 00:39:04,213 --> 00:39:06,298 THAT WAS A GREAT JOKE. 789 00:39:06,340 --> 00:39:08,008 I LOVE THAT BIT. 790 00:39:08,050 --> 00:39:09,259 HA, HA, HA! 791 00:39:09,343 --> 00:39:11,511 AH! 792 00:39:11,553 --> 00:39:14,514 QUIET. SOMEBODY WILL CALL THE COPS. 793 00:39:14,556 --> 00:39:16,558 OH, RELAX, FRANK. 794 00:39:16,641 --> 00:39:18,852 THEY CAN'T HEAR US. THEY CAN'T SEE US. 795 00:39:18,935 --> 00:39:21,688 THIS IS NOT LIVE. IT'S LIKE A RERUN. 796 00:39:21,771 --> 00:39:23,439 CHECK IT OUT. 797 00:39:23,523 --> 00:39:25,859 MAN ( over TV ): SEE. HERE I AM. 798 00:39:25,901 --> 00:39:28,570 WE ALL DRINK OUR CHOCOLATE-FLAVORED OVALTINE 799 00:39:28,653 --> 00:39:32,366 TO GIVE US ROCKET POWER-- 800 00:39:32,407 --> 00:39:35,369 THE LONE RANGER! 801 00:39:35,451 --> 00:39:37,412 ♪ SMILE ♪♪ 802 00:39:38,997 --> 00:39:40,874 THAT'S THE-- 803 00:39:40,957 --> 00:39:43,459 HA, HA, HA! 804 00:39:43,543 --> 00:39:47,047 HA, HA, HA! 805 00:39:47,089 --> 00:39:49,216 - HELLO, EARL. - HELLO. 806 00:39:49,258 --> 00:39:51,133 HO, HO, HO, HO! 807 00:39:56,431 --> 00:39:58,350 HERE, FRANCIS. 808 00:39:58,392 --> 00:40:00,894 I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. 809 00:40:00,977 --> 00:40:02,395 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 810 00:40:02,478 --> 00:40:03,939 A CHOO-CHOO TRAIN? 811 00:40:04,022 --> 00:40:06,024 NO, FIVE POUNDS OF VEAL. 812 00:40:06,108 --> 00:40:07,192 AND BOYS AND GIRLS... 813 00:40:07,276 --> 00:40:10,528 BUT, DADDY, I ASKED SANTA FOR A CHOO-CHOO. 814 00:40:10,570 --> 00:40:14,490 THEN GO GET A JOB AND BUY A CHOO-CHOO. 815 00:40:14,574 --> 00:40:17,411 EARL, HE'S ONLY 4 YEARS OLD. 816 00:40:17,452 --> 00:40:19,288 ALL DAY, I LISTEN TO PEOPLE GIVE EXCUSES 817 00:40:19,371 --> 00:40:20,704 WHY THEY CAN'T WORK. 818 00:40:20,746 --> 00:40:24,042 "MY BACK HURTS." "MY LEGS ACHE." 819 00:40:24,126 --> 00:40:26,586 "I'M ONLY 4." 820 00:40:26,628 --> 00:40:28,004 HE'D BETTER LEARN 821 00:40:28,088 --> 00:40:30,465 LIFE ISN'T GIVEN TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER! 822 00:40:30,548 --> 00:40:32,467 ♪ IT'S TIME TO GO ♪ 823 00:40:32,550 --> 00:40:34,970 ♪ SO TICKTACKTOE ♪♪ 824 00:40:35,053 --> 00:40:38,056 WE'VE ALL BEEN DOING EVERYTHING WE POSSIBLY CAN... 825 00:40:38,140 --> 00:40:40,850 I'M GOING OUT. 826 00:40:40,934 --> 00:40:43,145 BABY, DON'T WATCH TOO MUCH TV. 827 00:40:43,228 --> 00:40:44,396 IT'S BAD FOR YOUR EYES. 828 00:40:44,438 --> 00:40:46,606 OKAY, MOMMY. 829 00:40:47,649 --> 00:40:49,733 MERRY CHRISTMAS, FRANKIE ANGEL. 830 00:40:49,776 --> 00:40:52,612 MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, MAMA. 831 00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:07,919 NIAGARA FALLS, FRANKIE ANGEL. 832 00:41:15,969 --> 00:41:18,721 I WAS TOUCHED BY A GIFT. 833 00:41:18,805 --> 00:41:20,056 A 4-YEAR-OLD KID RECEIVES 834 00:41:20,140 --> 00:41:21,599 WHAT IN TODAY'S MARKETPLACE 835 00:41:21,641 --> 00:41:25,937 IS A $40 OR $50 PIECE OF MILK-FED VEAL. 836 00:41:25,979 --> 00:41:28,064 FRANK, YOU STILL SPENT THE NEXT 15 YEARS 837 00:41:28,148 --> 00:41:30,483 SITTIN' ON YOUR ASS WATCHIN' TELEVISION. 838 00:41:30,566 --> 00:41:31,943 CHECK THE RECORDS, CHUMP. 839 00:41:31,985 --> 00:41:35,905 I DID STUFF. I PLAYED BASEBALL. 840 00:41:35,989 --> 00:41:38,200 ONCE, I HIT THE HOME RUN THAT WON THE BIG GAME. 841 00:41:38,283 --> 00:41:42,204 THAT WAS THE KID ON THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIE'S FATHER. 842 00:41:45,499 --> 00:41:47,042 THERE WAS ANOTHER TIME, THOUGH, 843 00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:48,709 THAT I WAS RUNNING DOWN A HILLSIDE 844 00:41:48,793 --> 00:41:50,170 THAT WAS COVERED WITH FLOWERS, 845 00:41:50,212 --> 00:41:55,467 AND THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH PIGTAILS-- 846 00:41:55,509 --> 00:41:57,010 YOU ARE SO PATHETIC! 847 00:41:57,052 --> 00:42:00,055 THAT'S LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. 848 00:42:03,016 --> 00:42:04,226 WAS IT THE HOMECOMING EPISODE 849 00:42:04,309 --> 00:42:05,768 OF LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE? 850 00:42:05,852 --> 00:42:09,689 IT WAS THE HOMECOMING EPISODE OF LITTLE HOUSE. 851 00:42:09,731 --> 00:42:12,442 SLUGS GOT MORE OUT OF LIFE THAN YOU DID! 852 00:42:12,526 --> 00:42:15,237 HA, HA, HA! NAME ONE. 853 00:42:16,446 --> 00:42:18,198 TAKE ME TO MY OFFICE. 854 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:20,534 GLADLY! 855 00:42:22,618 --> 00:42:23,745 FRANK: WHERE ARE WE? 856 00:42:23,828 --> 00:42:25,455 GHOST: IT'S YOUR OFFICE. 857 00:42:25,539 --> 00:42:26,915 WHAT'S GOING ON? 858 00:42:26,998 --> 00:42:28,957 IT'S A CHRISTMAS PARTY. 859 00:42:29,041 --> 00:42:30,877 THEY'VE HAD CHRISTMAS PARTIES HERE 860 00:42:30,919 --> 00:42:33,463 SINCE THE DAWN OF TELEVISION, 861 00:42:33,547 --> 00:42:36,841 TILL YOU TOOK OVER, YOU BIG STIFF. 862 00:42:39,094 --> 00:42:42,389 MERRY CHRISTMAS. PASS THOSE OUT. 863 00:42:42,431 --> 00:42:44,349 ♪ WOOLY BULLY ♪ 864 00:42:44,433 --> 00:42:46,476 ♪ WOOLY BULLY ♪ 865 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,771 BROOK. BROOK. HEY, WAIT FOR ME. 866 00:42:49,854 --> 00:42:52,441 ♪ HATTIE TOLD MATTIE ♪ 867 00:42:52,482 --> 00:42:56,736 ♪ LET'S DON'T TAKE NO CHANCE ♪ 868 00:42:56,819 --> 00:42:58,655 ♪ LET'S NOT BE L-7 ♪♪ 869 00:42:58,738 --> 00:43:01,074 HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY, FRED! 870 00:43:01,116 --> 00:43:02,826 IT'S FRANK. FRANK, MR. HAYWARD. 871 00:43:02,909 --> 00:43:05,329 FRANK, YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO NOTICE 872 00:43:05,412 --> 00:43:08,665 A BIG CHRISTMAS PARTY GOING ON HERE, DID YOU? 873 00:43:08,748 --> 00:43:10,917 YES. I'M GOING TO BE RIGHT ON IT. 874 00:43:11,001 --> 00:43:14,671 I'M JUST GOING TO FINISH THIS. 875 00:43:14,754 --> 00:43:16,256 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 876 00:43:16,340 --> 00:43:19,092 WHY, THANK YOU, TINA. 877 00:43:19,176 --> 00:43:20,302 FRANK! 878 00:43:20,385 --> 00:43:22,304 FRANK! MERRY CHRISTMAS! 879 00:43:22,387 --> 00:43:23,763 MERRY CHRISTMAS, TINA. 880 00:43:23,847 --> 00:43:26,057 YOU WANT TO GET CHINESE FOOD? 881 00:43:26,099 --> 00:43:28,185 YOU SHOULDN'T EAT THAT STUFF. 882 00:43:28,268 --> 00:43:29,936 THEY'RE CUTTING UP ALLEY CATS 883 00:43:30,020 --> 00:43:32,272 AND USING THEM FOR CHOP SUEY. 884 00:43:32,356 --> 00:43:34,774 DON'T EAT THAT STUFF. 885 00:43:34,816 --> 00:43:37,902 YOU IDIOT! GET BACK THERE! 886 00:43:37,944 --> 00:43:39,613 I DON'T BELIEVE MYSELF. 887 00:43:39,654 --> 00:43:41,490 WHAT AN IDIOT I AM! 888 00:43:41,532 --> 00:43:42,782 DID YOU SEE THAT TINA? 889 00:43:42,824 --> 00:43:45,619 FRANKIE, I'M NOT THAT DEAD. 890 00:43:45,660 --> 00:43:47,662 I MUST HAVE BEEN OUT OF MY MIND! 891 00:43:47,745 --> 00:43:49,206 SHE WAS CRAZY ABOUT ME. 892 00:43:49,289 --> 00:43:52,334 NOT THAT ONE, FRANKIE. NOT THAT ONE. 893 00:43:52,417 --> 00:43:53,835 THIS ONE. 894 00:43:55,837 --> 00:43:59,090 YOU TOOK THAT ONE RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES. 895 00:43:59,132 --> 00:44:01,718 OH, GOD! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 896 00:44:01,801 --> 00:44:03,720 YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T MOVE SOMEONE 897 00:44:03,803 --> 00:44:06,681 WHO'S BEEN HIT IN THE HEAD. 898 00:44:10,435 --> 00:44:12,312 WHERE DID I GET YOU? 899 00:44:12,354 --> 00:44:14,565 YOU GOT ME RIGHT HERE. 900 00:44:14,648 --> 00:44:16,650 THE SIDEWALK GOT ME BACK HERE. 901 00:44:17,775 --> 00:44:19,403 IT WILL BE QUITE A LUMP. 902 00:44:19,486 --> 00:44:22,030 I'M SORRY. HERE. 903 00:44:25,242 --> 00:44:26,951 IS THIS YOURS? 904 00:44:26,993 --> 00:44:29,871 YES, IT IS. THANK YOU. 905 00:44:29,954 --> 00:44:31,415 YOU HAD SOME THINGS, DIDN'T YOU? 906 00:44:31,498 --> 00:44:33,208 YES. 907 00:44:33,291 --> 00:44:34,918 - HERE. - OH! OH! 908 00:44:36,878 --> 00:44:38,505 ALL RIGHT. TELL YOU WHAT. 909 00:44:38,547 --> 00:44:39,673 I'LL GO DOWN FOR IT. 910 00:44:39,756 --> 00:44:41,716 OKAY. GOOD IDEA. 911 00:44:41,799 --> 00:44:42,967 WAIT FOR ME. 912 00:44:43,009 --> 00:44:45,011 YES, I'LL WAIT. 913 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,144 THANKS, LUMPY. 914 00:44:53,186 --> 00:44:56,188 THANK YOU. 915 00:44:56,231 --> 00:44:57,982 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 916 00:44:58,024 --> 00:45:01,152 WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY? 917 00:45:01,194 --> 00:45:02,361 NO. 918 00:45:02,404 --> 00:45:03,780 NEITHER WOULD I. 919 00:45:05,323 --> 00:45:07,618 YOUNG LADY! 920 00:45:07,701 --> 00:45:08,993 DO YOU SHOP HERE OFTEN? 921 00:45:09,035 --> 00:45:11,996 BECAUSE I CAN WALK OVER THERE. 922 00:45:12,038 --> 00:45:14,124 - BARUMM-PUM-PUM! - BARUMM-PUM-PUM! 923 00:45:20,213 --> 00:45:23,300 WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO GET SOME CHINESE FOOD? 924 00:45:23,383 --> 00:45:25,343 ( engine starts ) 925 00:45:25,385 --> 00:45:26,386 ( cat meows ) 926 00:45:26,428 --> 00:45:28,305 FRANK: ALL RIGHT. WHAT S GOING ON? 927 00:45:28,388 --> 00:45:30,515 YOU'LL LOVE THIS. 928 00:45:30,557 --> 00:45:32,392 - FRANK: CLAIRE? - CLAIRE: YEAH? 929 00:45:32,434 --> 00:45:34,269 FRANK: CLAIRE! 930 00:45:34,352 --> 00:45:36,938 YEAH, WHAT IS IT? I'M IN THE TUB. 931 00:45:37,021 --> 00:45:41,192 FRANK: CAN'T WE OPEN THE PRESENTS NOW? 932 00:45:41,234 --> 00:45:42,402 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 933 00:45:42,486 --> 00:45:46,364 DON'T BE A CREEP. LOOK AT SOMETHING ELSE. 934 00:45:46,406 --> 00:45:50,577 THERE'S A GORILLA CLIMBING UP ON THAT BIG BUILDING. 935 00:45:50,661 --> 00:45:52,203 CLAIRE: HEY, HEY, HEY! 936 00:45:52,245 --> 00:45:53,413 STOP IT. 937 00:45:53,455 --> 00:45:54,872 WHEN CAN WE OPEN THESE? 938 00:45:54,914 --> 00:45:58,335 YOU CAN OPEN ONE ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 939 00:45:58,418 --> 00:46:01,462 YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS TO OPEN THE REST. 940 00:46:01,546 --> 00:46:02,673 ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU DID? 941 00:46:02,756 --> 00:46:04,257 IF IT WERE GOING TO SPOIL, 942 00:46:04,299 --> 00:46:07,218 WE OPENED IT THE NIGHT BEFORE. 943 00:46:07,260 --> 00:46:09,429 YOU WANT TO OPEN THIS ONE? 944 00:46:09,513 --> 00:46:10,639 IS THIS FOR ME? 945 00:46:10,722 --> 00:46:14,434 OHH... 946 00:46:14,476 --> 00:46:17,437 ♪ WITH THEIR EYES ALL AGLOW ♪♪ 947 00:46:22,442 --> 00:46:23,860 OHH... 948 00:46:23,943 --> 00:46:26,404 KNIVES! 949 00:46:26,446 --> 00:46:28,031 OH, GOD! 950 00:46:28,114 --> 00:46:31,117 OH, LOTS OF KNIVES. MWAAH! 951 00:46:31,159 --> 00:46:33,995 I GOT THESE GREAT KNIVES. 952 00:46:34,078 --> 00:46:36,707 I KNOW. GENSU KNIVES. 953 00:46:36,790 --> 00:46:38,082 THEY'RE REALLY SHARP. 954 00:46:38,124 --> 00:46:41,461 YOU CAN CUT CANS AS EASILY AS TOMATOES. 955 00:46:45,131 --> 00:46:46,799 OKAY. YOUR TURN. 956 00:46:46,883 --> 00:46:48,301 I'VE NEVER LIKED A GIRL ENOUGH 957 00:46:48,342 --> 00:46:51,804 TO GIVE HER 12 SHARP KNIVES. 958 00:46:51,846 --> 00:46:55,517 OKAY. YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THIS. 959 00:46:56,893 --> 00:46:58,603 "TO LUMP." 960 00:46:58,645 --> 00:47:01,565 "LOVE, CLAIRE." 961 00:47:07,529 --> 00:47:09,489 SUCH AN ANIMAL. 962 00:47:13,619 --> 00:47:15,078 "THE KAMA SUTRA, 963 00:47:15,161 --> 00:47:17,664 THE HINDU ART OF LOVE." 964 00:47:17,748 --> 00:47:21,668 READ THE INSCRIPTION. 965 00:47:21,710 --> 00:47:23,169 NO. YOU READ THE INSCRIPTION. 966 00:47:23,211 --> 00:47:25,004 IT SAYS CHRISTMAS, AND THEN THE REST IS... 967 00:47:25,046 --> 00:47:27,006 IT'S SANSKRIT. 968 00:47:27,048 --> 00:47:30,343 I DIDN'T NEED ANY KIND OF MANUAL. 969 00:47:33,513 --> 00:47:36,266 DON'T BLOW THE ENDING FOR ME, NOW. 970 00:47:38,935 --> 00:47:42,481 DID THAT. - WITH WHO? 971 00:47:42,522 --> 00:47:45,484 DONE THIS. 972 00:47:45,525 --> 00:47:46,693 DONE THIS. 973 00:47:46,735 --> 00:47:48,903 MY BUDDY DID THIS. 974 00:47:48,987 --> 00:47:50,530 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 975 00:47:50,572 --> 00:47:52,073 I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 976 00:47:52,157 --> 00:47:56,328 YOU CAN TOUCH A WOMAN SO SHE'LL BARK LIKE A DOG. 977 00:47:56,369 --> 00:47:58,163 RUFF! 978 00:47:58,204 --> 00:48:00,248 RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! 979 00:48:00,332 --> 00:48:02,041 RUFF! RUFF! 980 00:48:02,125 --> 00:48:04,127 LASSIE'S COME HOME. 981 00:48:04,210 --> 00:48:05,629 LASSIE, GO GET GRAMPS. 982 00:48:05,712 --> 00:48:07,547 GO GET GRAMPS, LASSIE. 983 00:48:07,631 --> 00:48:10,843 I WONDER IF YOU RE FEMALE. LET'S FIND OUT. 984 00:48:10,884 --> 00:48:13,261 WHAT A NICE COAT YOU HAVE. 985 00:48:13,345 --> 00:48:16,973 I SHOULD GIVE YOU A BATH EVERY WEEK. 986 00:48:17,056 --> 00:48:18,391 RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! 987 00:48:18,475 --> 00:48:21,306 RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! 988 00:48:21,613 --> 00:48:22,828 RUFF! RUFF! RUFF! 989 00:48:22,869 --> 00:48:24,537 GOOD MORNING, KIDDOS! 990 00:48:24,621 --> 00:48:26,873 THIS IS MIKE, THE MAILMAN! 991 00:48:26,915 --> 00:48:28,500 HEY, FRISBEE! 992 00:48:28,541 --> 00:48:30,418 I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU! 993 00:48:30,502 --> 00:48:34,089 FRISBEE! THERE HE IS! 994 00:48:34,173 --> 00:48:36,549 I'VE GOT TO WATCH OUT FOR THIS ONE! 995 00:48:36,633 --> 00:48:38,218 WHAT IS IT? 996 00:48:38,301 --> 00:48:40,470 IS IT A PAIR OF MITTENS? 997 00:48:40,553 --> 00:48:43,264 ALL: IT'S A BONE! 998 00:48:43,348 --> 00:48:45,100 MIKE: WHAT COULD IT BE? 999 00:48:45,184 --> 00:48:46,309 A BOOK? 1000 00:48:46,392 --> 00:48:48,228 IT'S A BONE! 1001 00:48:48,269 --> 00:48:50,396 YOU CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. 1002 00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:53,942 IT'S A BONE, YOU LUCKY DOG! 1003 00:48:54,025 --> 00:48:56,277 IT'S A BONE, YOU BETCHA! 1004 00:48:56,361 --> 00:49:00,157 HA, HA, HA! 1005 00:49:00,240 --> 00:49:01,700 OH, KIDS, ISN'T THIS TERRIFIC? 1006 00:49:01,741 --> 00:49:03,660 LASSIE'S A PRETTY GOOD FRIEND, EH? 1007 00:49:03,743 --> 00:49:06,079 ANNOUNCER: AND WE'RE IN FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK, FOLKS. 1008 00:49:06,121 --> 00:49:07,455 AUDIENCE: YAY! 1009 00:49:07,539 --> 00:49:09,749 YAY! 1010 00:49:14,254 --> 00:49:16,006 VERY GOOD, KID. VERY GOOD. 1011 00:49:16,089 --> 00:49:17,298 THANK YOU. 1012 00:49:17,382 --> 00:49:18,800 HOW MANY RESERVATIONS SHOULD I MAKE? 1013 00:49:18,884 --> 00:49:22,179 YES, THERE WILL BE YOU, ME, MY WIFE-- 1014 00:49:22,262 --> 00:49:24,472 YOUR WIFE'S IN PALM SPRINGS. 1015 00:49:24,556 --> 00:49:27,433 OH, YES. I FORGOT. OF COURSE. 1016 00:49:27,517 --> 00:49:29,811 I GUESS THEN IT WILL BE YOU AND ME. 1017 00:49:29,895 --> 00:49:32,105 HA, HA, HA! 1018 00:49:32,147 --> 00:49:33,439 AND FRANK. 1019 00:49:33,481 --> 00:49:38,486 HAVE DINNER WITH US TONIGHT, YOU AND YOUR GIRL. 1020 00:49:38,570 --> 00:49:41,281 ORDER US A STRETCH LIMO. SEE YOU DOWNSTAIRS. 1021 00:49:41,322 --> 00:49:43,658 OKAY. 1022 00:49:43,742 --> 00:49:46,286 HELLO. WHY, YOU'RE CLAIRE! 1023 00:49:46,327 --> 00:49:47,829 YES, NICE TO MEET YOU. 1024 00:49:47,913 --> 00:49:50,331 OH, HI, SWEETHEART. MWAAH! 1025 00:49:50,414 --> 00:49:53,459 MWAAH! YOU ALMOST READY? 1026 00:49:54,794 --> 00:49:57,672 THE NETWORK PRESIDENT JUST INVITED US TO DINNER. 1027 00:49:57,756 --> 00:50:00,926 WE'RE GOING TO DAVID AND KATE'S. 1028 00:50:00,967 --> 00:50:02,509 WE PLANNED IT FOR A MONTH. 1029 00:50:02,594 --> 00:50:08,267 HE DOESN'T MAKE PLANS A MONTH IN ADVANCE. 1030 00:50:08,308 --> 00:50:10,351 IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. 1031 00:50:10,435 --> 00:50:13,313 THEY'RE OUR BEST FRIENDS. IT COMES ONCE A YEAR. 1032 00:50:13,354 --> 00:50:15,065 THANKS, PHIL, BABE. 1033 00:50:15,148 --> 00:50:16,649 YEAH, IT IS CHRISTMAS. 1034 00:50:16,733 --> 00:50:19,360 IT'S A TIME TO BE A LITTLE BIT LESS SELFISH. 1035 00:50:19,444 --> 00:50:21,029 IF YOU COULD PUT MY NEEDS 1036 00:50:21,113 --> 00:50:26,785 AND THE NEEDS OF THE FRISBEE SHOW AHEAD OF YOUR NEEDS. 1037 00:50:26,826 --> 00:50:28,745 IT'S THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME. 1038 00:50:28,828 --> 00:50:32,164 - I'M SORRY. - 60 SECONDS. 1039 00:50:32,207 --> 00:50:35,376 I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO YOU. 1040 00:50:35,460 --> 00:50:38,046 I'M WILLING TO FORGIVE YOU ONCE IN A WHILE. 1041 00:50:38,130 --> 00:50:40,048 I AM. 1042 00:50:40,132 --> 00:50:41,883 FRANK, LOOK. 1043 00:50:41,966 --> 00:50:44,303 MAYBE WE SHOULD... 1044 00:50:44,344 --> 00:50:46,138 SEPARATE FOR A WHILE. 1045 00:50:46,179 --> 00:50:48,265 EXCUSE ME. 1046 00:50:48,348 --> 00:50:50,433 ESTELLE, WHEN IS THAT LIMO LEAVING? 1047 00:50:50,516 --> 00:50:53,603 RIGHT AFTER THE SHOW. YOU KNOW HOW HE IS. 1048 00:50:53,686 --> 00:50:57,482 FOR A WHILE... AND SEE HOW IT GOES. 1049 00:50:57,523 --> 00:50:59,901 I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN UNDER PRESSURE. 1050 00:51:02,112 --> 00:51:04,405 OH, IT'S BEEN ROUGH. 1051 00:51:11,079 --> 00:51:15,959 ALL RIGHT. I'LL TRY TO COME OVER LATER IF I CAN. 1052 00:51:16,042 --> 00:51:18,379 15 SECONDS. 1053 00:51:18,461 --> 00:51:20,588 ( bell rings ) 1054 00:51:25,093 --> 00:51:28,638 I'LL TELL THEM THAT YOU GOT HUNG UP. 1055 00:51:30,349 --> 00:51:31,516 LUMPY... 1056 00:51:31,558 --> 00:51:33,394 AUDIENCE: YAY! YAY! 1057 00:51:34,228 --> 00:51:36,146 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1058 00:51:38,065 --> 00:51:39,233 AUDIENCE: YAY! YAY! 1059 00:51:39,274 --> 00:51:43,528 ANNOUNCER: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! 1060 00:51:43,570 --> 00:51:44,779 OK, KIDDOS... 1061 00:51:44,863 --> 00:51:47,908 YOU LEFT CLAIRE FOR FRISBEE THE DOG? 1062 00:51:47,949 --> 00:51:51,452 FRANK, LET ME SUM THIS UP. 1063 00:51:51,536 --> 00:51:53,329 YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 1064 00:51:53,414 --> 00:51:54,873 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. 1065 00:51:54,915 --> 00:51:58,668 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! 1066 00:51:58,752 --> 00:52:00,754 I'VE MADE A FEW MISTAKES. 1067 00:52:00,837 --> 00:52:03,924 I GOT TO LIVE WITH THAT, 1068 00:52:04,007 --> 00:52:06,176 BUT I KNOW WHO I AM. 1069 00:52:06,260 --> 00:52:09,804 I KNOW WHAT I WANT. I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 1070 00:52:09,888 --> 00:52:13,100 PSST. HEY, FRANK! OVER HERE. 1071 00:52:13,141 --> 00:52:14,517 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1072 00:52:14,601 --> 00:52:17,354 HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I'M ONLY THE GHOST. 1073 00:52:17,438 --> 00:52:19,856 SO LONG, SUCKER. 1074 00:52:19,940 --> 00:52:21,608 HA, HA, HA! 1075 00:52:21,649 --> 00:52:23,693 HOLD ON! HO, TAXI! 1076 00:52:28,615 --> 00:52:31,034 I HAVE SEEN YOUR NOBLER ASPIRATIONS 1077 00:52:31,118 --> 00:52:34,537 FALL OFF ONE BY ONE TILL THE MASTER PASSION-- 1078 00:52:34,621 --> 00:52:37,832 GREED-- ENGROSSES YOU. 1079 00:52:37,916 --> 00:52:39,625 FAREWELL, EBENEZER. 1080 00:52:39,709 --> 00:52:43,713 MAY YOU BE HAPPY WITH THE PATH YOU HAVE CHOSEN. 1081 00:52:43,797 --> 00:52:45,715 I AM HAPPY WITH THE PATH 1082 00:52:45,799 --> 00:52:48,093 THAT I'VE CHOSEN, YOU BITCH! 1083 00:52:48,135 --> 00:52:49,677 I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! 1084 00:52:49,761 --> 00:52:52,389 WHAT ARE YOU? CRAZY? 1085 00:52:52,473 --> 00:52:54,099 YEAH, BUDDY, I'M CRAZY! 1086 00:52:54,141 --> 00:52:55,892 CRAZY LIKE A FOX! 1087 00:52:55,976 --> 00:52:58,853 CRAZY ENOUGH TO SEE THROUGH YOUR LITTLE TRICKS. 1088 00:52:58,937 --> 00:53:01,064 I'M BACK. I CAN SEE NOW. 1089 00:53:01,147 --> 00:53:03,817 NO ONE COULD HAVE BEEN THAT SIMPLE AND GOOD 1090 00:53:03,900 --> 00:53:08,155 AND KIND AND DECENT, YET CARING, WONDERFUL. 1091 00:53:08,238 --> 00:53:10,531 NOT ON THIS PLANET, 1092 00:53:10,615 --> 00:53:12,493 NOT UNLESS THEY HAD SOMETHING TO HIDE, 1093 00:53:12,533 --> 00:53:13,785 SOME TRICK UP THEIR SLEEVE. 1094 00:53:13,827 --> 00:53:15,536 YOU WOULDN'T TRICK ME! 1095 00:53:15,620 --> 00:53:19,166 DON'T TRY TO TRICK ME BECAUSE I'M BACK! 1096 00:53:19,249 --> 00:53:23,086 WE'LL CHECK THINGS OUT AT OPERATION REACH OUT. 1097 00:53:23,170 --> 00:53:24,421 STEP ASIDE, GRANDMA. 1098 00:53:24,505 --> 00:53:27,090 - GOOD-BYE. - BLOOD DRIVE. $20 A PINT. 1099 00:53:27,174 --> 00:53:28,425 COME ON, FOLKS. 1100 00:53:28,509 --> 00:53:32,679 AH, HERE'S A HAPPY DONOR. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1101 00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:35,556 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1102 00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,851 AH! 1103 00:53:37,892 --> 00:53:39,478 WELL, JUST FOR THE RECORD, 1104 00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,771 YOU LEFT ME. 1105 00:53:41,855 --> 00:53:44,941 YOU HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE AND GET YOUR HEAD TOGETHER! 1106 00:53:45,025 --> 00:53:47,861 BABY, MY HEAD IS JUST FINE. CHECK IT OUT! 1107 00:53:47,902 --> 00:53:50,155 IT'S RIGHT HERE WHERE IT BELONGS! 1108 00:53:52,240 --> 00:53:53,616 WHAT'S THE POINT? 1109 00:53:53,700 --> 00:53:54,826 IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP? 1110 00:53:54,868 --> 00:53:56,577 IT'S NOT LONELY AT THE TOP! 1111 00:53:56,661 --> 00:54:00,123 OH, MAYBE AROUND MY BIRTHDAY AND AT SUNSET. 1112 00:54:00,207 --> 00:54:01,916 THERE HAVE BEEN A COUPLE WEEKENDS 1113 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,170 THAT WOULD HAVE RAISED HELL WITH A NORMAL PERSON. 1114 00:54:05,212 --> 00:54:08,507 BUT THAT'S ME. I'M A WIDOW OF BUSINESS. 1115 00:54:08,549 --> 00:54:10,675 IT'S MY LIFE! I'VE CHOSEN IT! 1116 00:54:10,717 --> 00:54:12,886 AT LEAST I WORK SOMEPLACE THAT YOU CAN FIND 1117 00:54:12,927 --> 00:54:16,139 WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IT. 1118 00:54:16,223 --> 00:54:19,059 OKAY, HERE WE ARE NOW. 1119 00:54:19,142 --> 00:54:24,231 WHEN I WANT A WIFE, I'M GOING TO BUY ONE, 1120 00:54:24,314 --> 00:54:27,401 AND SHE'S GOING TO BE DEVOTED TO ME, 1121 00:54:27,442 --> 00:54:30,070 TO MY WANTS, AND MY NEEDS, 1122 00:54:30,153 --> 00:54:31,738 NOT LIKE YOU! 1123 00:54:31,779 --> 00:54:34,449 LET'S FACE IT-- YOU TREATED ME LIKE DIRT! 1124 00:54:34,533 --> 00:54:37,202 OH, LORD! ANOTHER WILD AND WOOLY ONE. 1125 00:54:37,244 --> 00:54:38,661 HONEY, YOU LOOK FROZEN. 1126 00:54:38,745 --> 00:54:39,913 COME OVER HERE 1127 00:54:39,954 --> 00:54:44,292 AND LET ME GET YOU A CUP OF COFFEE. 1128 00:54:44,376 --> 00:54:48,255 HI, DICK. HERMAN. 1129 00:54:48,296 --> 00:54:49,590 I'M BILLY. 1130 00:54:49,672 --> 00:54:51,216 EVA. EVA. THAT'S ME. 1131 00:54:51,258 --> 00:54:52,759 OH, COCKTAIL HOUR. 1132 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,344 DRINK FOR MR. RICHARD BURTON. 1133 00:54:54,428 --> 00:54:55,554 DRINK UP. 1134 00:54:55,596 --> 00:54:58,139 HERE, DAVE. DRINK JUST FOR ME. 1135 00:54:58,223 --> 00:54:59,933 FOR YOU, DAVE. 1136 00:55:01,435 --> 00:55:03,270 AH! 1137 00:55:03,311 --> 00:55:04,645 DICK KNOWS HOW TO LIVE. 1138 00:55:04,729 --> 00:55:05,980 DICK? 1139 00:55:06,064 --> 00:55:08,983 MR. BURTON, MAYBE WE DON'T KNOW 1140 00:55:09,067 --> 00:55:11,486 YOU WELL ENOUGH TO CALL YOU DICK, 1141 00:55:11,570 --> 00:55:13,780 BUT AFTER EXORCIST II, 1142 00:55:13,863 --> 00:55:16,074 WE THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL. 1143 00:55:16,116 --> 00:55:19,578 COULD YOU DO A LINE FROM HAMLET? 1144 00:55:19,620 --> 00:55:21,121 OR THE SANDPIPER? 1145 00:55:21,162 --> 00:55:22,747 LEAVE ME ALONE! 1146 00:55:22,789 --> 00:55:26,126 DO CLEOPATRA FOR ME, PLEASE, DICK. 1147 00:55:26,167 --> 00:55:28,753 PLEASE DO IT FOR EVA. 1148 00:55:28,795 --> 00:55:31,965 ( imitating Richard Burton ) I AM MARC ANTONY. 1149 00:55:32,048 --> 00:55:35,802 ALL THOSE OF ABYSSINIA, TO KNOW THE RAIN 1150 00:55:35,885 --> 00:55:37,513 BEFORE NIGHTFALL OF CHEOPS. 1151 00:55:37,596 --> 00:55:39,640 I SWEAR. BY THEE I FORSWEAR. 1152 00:55:39,722 --> 00:55:42,476 OH, ISN'T THAT MARVELOUS? 1153 00:55:42,518 --> 00:55:44,686 NOW BEAT IT BEFORE I BEAT YOU! 1154 00:55:44,769 --> 00:55:46,647 FOR HE GOES THERE. 1155 00:55:47,772 --> 00:55:50,108 LUMPY, WHAT A SURPRISE! 1156 00:55:50,150 --> 00:55:52,402 OH, GOD! OH, GOD! CLAIRE! 1157 00:55:52,486 --> 00:55:54,363 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 1158 00:55:54,445 --> 00:55:56,781 CLAIRE, WELL, YOU SAID 1159 00:55:56,823 --> 00:55:58,617 IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN THAT I SHOULD COME BY. 1160 00:55:58,659 --> 00:56:00,118 WELL, WHAT HAPPENED? 1161 00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:05,582 WELL, I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT THE PAST, 1162 00:56:05,666 --> 00:56:07,376 AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN THAT HAPPENS, 1163 00:56:07,459 --> 00:56:08,585 YOU START THINKING, 1164 00:56:08,669 --> 00:56:10,837 "I'VE MADE A LOT OF DECISIONS, 1165 00:56:10,879 --> 00:56:13,215 "AND WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED 1166 00:56:13,298 --> 00:56:16,510 IF I HAD MADE DIFFERENT DECISIONS?" 1167 00:56:16,593 --> 00:56:18,512 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 1168 00:56:18,595 --> 00:56:20,055 ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT REGRET? 1169 00:56:20,138 --> 00:56:22,891 YEAH, I'M TALKING ABOUT REGRET. 1170 00:56:22,974 --> 00:56:24,767 THE GOOD THING ABOUT REGRET 1171 00:56:24,851 --> 00:56:26,562 IS THAT IT'S NEVER TOO LATE. 1172 00:56:26,645 --> 00:56:29,648 YOU CAN ALWAYS CHANGE IF YOU WANT TO. 1173 00:56:29,690 --> 00:56:31,525 I DEAL WITH THAT EVERY DAY. 1174 00:56:31,567 --> 00:56:32,901 DEAL WITH THIS. 1175 00:56:32,984 --> 00:56:36,196 I WANT TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE RIGHT NOW 1176 00:56:36,238 --> 00:56:39,199 AND EAT CHINESE FOOD. 1177 00:56:39,282 --> 00:56:42,411 CLAIRE, WE'VE GOT SOME HUGE PROBLEMS THIS TIME! 1178 00:56:42,494 --> 00:56:44,413 THERE AIN'T ANY FUSES! 1179 00:56:44,496 --> 00:56:47,374 I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THEY ARE IN A SECOND, HAZEL. 1180 00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:50,419 AandP DIDN'T SEND TURKEYS. 1181 00:56:50,502 --> 00:56:52,713 THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. 1182 00:56:52,795 --> 00:56:54,256 NOT ONE. 1183 00:56:54,339 --> 00:56:56,383 I'LL CALL THEM. COULD YOU WAIT FOR ME? 1184 00:56:56,465 --> 00:56:58,885 THEY CAN HANDLE THIS. 1185 00:56:58,926 --> 00:57:01,470 JUST BUY SOME FUSES. 1186 00:57:01,555 --> 00:57:02,847 WHAT ABOUT THE TURKEYS? 1187 00:57:02,888 --> 00:57:05,016 THE TURKEYS ARE AT THE AandP. 1188 00:57:05,058 --> 00:57:09,563 IT'S IN THE PHONE BOOK UNDER "A" OR "P". 1189 00:57:09,605 --> 00:57:11,064 I'LL CALL THEM. 1190 00:57:11,147 --> 00:57:13,275 THESE ARE VERY BIG GIRLS, 1191 00:57:13,358 --> 00:57:15,736 AND THEY CAN DO IT. 1192 00:57:15,818 --> 00:57:17,278 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 1193 00:57:17,362 --> 00:57:20,990 NO, CLAIRE, PLEASE. FIRE THESE PEOPLE. 1194 00:57:21,074 --> 00:57:22,409 THEY'RE VOLUNTEERS. 1195 00:57:22,492 --> 00:57:24,494 THEY'RE HERE OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF THEIR HEARTS. 1196 00:57:24,578 --> 00:57:27,497 THEY'RE VOLUNTEERS BECAUSE NO ONE WILL PAY THEM! 1197 00:57:27,581 --> 00:57:29,541 IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. 1198 00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:32,919 THEY'RE LIKE THIS EVERY DAY. I GUARANTEE IT! 1199 00:57:32,961 --> 00:57:35,964 LOOK. IF YOU'LL JUST WAIT ONE MINUTE, 1200 00:57:36,047 --> 00:57:37,424 I'LL MAKE THE PHONE CALL-- 1201 00:57:37,507 --> 00:57:40,093 NO, DON'T BOTHER, OKAY? 1202 00:57:40,135 --> 00:57:41,886 IF YOU'LL WAIT ONE MINUTE, 1203 00:57:41,928 --> 00:57:44,389 LET ME FINISH HERE, 1204 00:57:44,431 --> 00:57:45,599 I'LL COME WITH YOU, FRANK. 1205 00:57:45,641 --> 00:57:47,434 TAKE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! 1206 00:57:47,517 --> 00:57:51,313 I'LL GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE-- SCRAPE THEM OFF. 1207 00:57:51,396 --> 00:57:52,731 YOU WANT TO SAVE SOMEBODY? 1208 00:57:52,773 --> 00:57:54,232 SAVE YOURSELF. 1209 00:57:54,274 --> 00:57:58,278 THAT'S A WONDERFUL ATTITUDE TO HAVE ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 1210 00:57:58,361 --> 00:58:00,113 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1211 00:58:03,617 --> 00:58:05,452 BAH, HUMBUG! 1212 00:58:09,456 --> 00:58:11,040 LUMPY... 1213 00:58:13,247 --> 00:58:14,874 HEY, DICK, CAN YOU LEND ME $2.00 1214 00:58:14,916 --> 00:58:16,250 SO I CAN HEAT MY PLACE? 1215 00:58:16,333 --> 00:58:21,422 I BLEW IT ALL ON LIZ. THERE'S A SUCKER INSIDE. 1216 00:58:21,505 --> 00:58:24,675 LAST DRESS REHEARSAL. GET IT RIGHT. 1217 00:58:24,717 --> 00:58:25,885 ♪ PUMPIN, JUMPIN ♪ 1218 00:58:25,968 --> 00:58:27,344 ♪ BUMPIN AND THUMPIN ♪ 1219 00:58:27,386 --> 00:58:29,263 ♪ GET UP AND DANCE ♪♪ 1220 00:58:29,346 --> 00:58:32,058 BUDDY, IT'S YOUR CUE. GET MOVING. 1221 00:58:33,893 --> 00:58:35,770 MR. HOUSEMAN. 1222 00:58:35,853 --> 00:58:40,232 "EBENEZER SCROOGE HURRIED PAST THE RAGGED BOYS 1223 00:58:40,274 --> 00:58:42,359 "WHO STOOD SHIVERING IN THE SNOW, 1224 00:58:42,401 --> 00:58:46,238 "GNAWED AND MUMBLED BY THE HUNGRY COLD, 1225 00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,742 AS BONES ARE GNAWED BY DOGS." 1226 00:58:49,825 --> 00:58:53,579 WHY MUST I BE MOLESTED BY THESE SEA URCHINS? 1227 00:58:53,662 --> 00:58:54,747 SEA URCHINS? 1228 00:58:54,789 --> 00:58:57,666 BUDDY, BABY, IT SAYS STREET URCHINS. 1229 00:58:57,750 --> 00:59:00,920 I SAID STREET. WHY WOULD I SAY SEA URCHINS? 1230 00:59:00,962 --> 00:59:02,880 EVERYBODY, WHAT DID HE SAY? 1231 00:59:02,922 --> 00:59:04,590 ALL: STREET! STREET! 1232 00:59:04,632 --> 00:59:06,592 HE DID? I'M SORRY, BUDDY. 1233 00:59:06,675 --> 00:59:07,927 YOU'RE RIGHT. 1234 00:59:08,010 --> 00:59:10,012 EVERYBODY, DINNER, ONE HOUR! 1235 00:59:10,096 --> 00:59:11,931 THAT INCLUDES WALKING TIME! 1236 00:59:12,014 --> 00:59:13,808 ( bell rings ) 1237 00:59:13,891 --> 00:59:15,434 YOU'RE DOING GREAT, BUDDY. 1238 00:59:15,476 --> 00:59:18,395 WE NEED MORE SNOW OVER HERE. WATCH THAT BOOM SHADOW. 1239 00:59:18,437 --> 00:59:20,731 YOU'RE ON MY URCHINS. 1240 00:59:20,773 --> 00:59:22,650 OH, FRANK! 1241 00:59:22,733 --> 00:59:25,152 BABY, HOW ARE YOU? 1242 00:59:25,235 --> 00:59:29,197 WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. ARE YOU OKAY? 1243 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:32,118 I CALL THE MEAL BREAKS HERE. 1244 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:33,953 I'LL CALL EVERYBODY BACK, 1245 00:59:33,995 --> 00:59:36,204 AND YOU CAN TELL THEM IT'S TIME TO GO TO DINNER. 1246 00:59:36,288 --> 00:59:39,500 EVERYBODY, FRANK'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU! 1247 00:59:39,583 --> 00:59:42,169 GO AHEAD. 1248 00:59:42,252 --> 00:59:45,422 IT'S TIME YOU AND I HAD A LITTLE TALK. 1249 00:59:45,464 --> 00:59:47,299 PRESTON ASKED ME TO STOP BY FOR A DRINK. 1250 00:59:47,383 --> 00:59:50,302 I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK, OKAY? 1251 00:59:50,386 --> 00:59:53,639 PAUL, WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED A CIGARETTE. 1252 00:59:56,517 --> 00:59:58,351 HEY! 1253 00:59:58,435 --> 00:59:59,770 HEY! 1254 01:00:02,732 --> 01:00:04,357 HEY! 1255 01:00:08,071 --> 01:00:09,196 HEY! 1256 01:00:09,279 --> 01:00:10,780 ( bell chimes ) 1257 01:00:18,956 --> 01:00:20,666 HI, FRANK! 1258 01:00:20,708 --> 01:00:21,958 COME ON! 1259 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,712 COME ON OUT AND PLAY WITH ME. 1260 01:00:24,795 --> 01:00:27,173 1, 2, 3, 4 1261 01:00:27,214 --> 01:00:29,508 5, 6, 7, 8. 1262 01:00:29,550 --> 01:00:31,094 ( crash ) 1263 01:00:31,177 --> 01:00:32,636 1, 2, 3, 4... 1264 01:00:32,678 --> 01:00:33,971 5, 6, 7, 8. 1265 01:00:34,013 --> 01:00:35,890 OH, UM... 1266 01:00:35,973 --> 01:00:37,100 OH! 1267 01:00:37,183 --> 01:00:39,643 I'M A LITTLE MUDDLED. 1268 01:00:39,685 --> 01:00:40,978 7, 8. 1269 01:00:41,020 --> 01:00:43,814 1, 2, 3, 4. 1270 01:00:43,856 --> 01:00:47,860 OH, I'M SO RELIEVED! IT'S BEEN SO LONG. 1271 01:00:47,902 --> 01:00:50,320 HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! 1272 01:00:55,909 --> 01:00:57,661 OOOOH! 1273 01:00:57,703 --> 01:01:01,707 HELLO, FRANK. I'M THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 1274 01:01:01,791 --> 01:01:05,002 I HAD A FUNNY FEELING. OOOOH... 1275 01:01:05,044 --> 01:01:07,296 WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 1276 01:01:07,379 --> 01:01:10,049 SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SLAP THEM IN THE FACE 1277 01:01:10,133 --> 01:01:12,051 JUST TO GET THEIR ATTENTION. 1278 01:01:12,093 --> 01:01:14,428 SLAP ME IN THE FACE. 1279 01:01:14,511 --> 01:01:16,889 BUT YOU KICKED ME IN THE B-- 1280 01:01:16,931 --> 01:01:18,182 HUSH, FRANK. 1281 01:01:18,224 --> 01:01:21,351 IT'S TIME TO BEGIN OUR JOURNEY. 1282 01:01:21,393 --> 01:01:22,895 AND NOW... 1283 01:01:22,979 --> 01:01:25,022 CLOSE YOUR EYES... 1284 01:01:25,064 --> 01:01:26,398 AND THINK. 1285 01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:30,319 NO! YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES! I'M THROUGH-- 1286 01:01:30,402 --> 01:01:33,030 CLOSE THEM! CLOSE YOUR EYES... 1287 01:01:33,072 --> 01:01:36,408 AND THINK... OF SNOWFLAKES... 1288 01:01:36,450 --> 01:01:40,746 AND MOONBEAMS AND WHISKERS ON K-- 1289 01:01:40,830 --> 01:01:42,248 NO PEEKING! 1290 01:01:42,331 --> 01:01:44,374 AAGH! 1291 01:01:44,416 --> 01:01:46,002 ...OF RAINBOWS, 1292 01:01:46,085 --> 01:01:47,461 FORGET-ME-NOTS... 1293 01:01:47,544 --> 01:01:50,339 OF MISTY MEADOWS... 1294 01:01:50,421 --> 01:01:53,467 AND SUN-DAPPLED POOLS. 1295 01:01:56,053 --> 01:01:57,263 OH, LOOK. 1296 01:01:57,304 --> 01:01:59,056 THERE'S MR. HEDGEHOG. 1297 01:01:59,098 --> 01:02:01,100 I WONDER WHERE HE'S GOING. 1298 01:02:01,142 --> 01:02:02,268 PERHAPS TO... 1299 01:02:02,351 --> 01:02:04,103 HOLLAND! 1300 01:02:04,187 --> 01:02:08,649 OH! OH, NO! 1301 01:02:08,732 --> 01:02:10,985 OH! HA, HA! 1302 01:02:11,068 --> 01:02:12,528 GOD, MY JAW! 1303 01:02:12,611 --> 01:02:15,614 SOMETIMES, THE TRUTH IS PAINFUL. 1304 01:02:15,656 --> 01:02:18,201 BUT IT'S MADE YOUR CHEEKS ROSY 1305 01:02:18,284 --> 01:02:20,870 AND YOUR EYES BRIGHT AS STARS. 1306 01:02:20,953 --> 01:02:22,246 IF YOU... 1307 01:02:22,288 --> 01:02:24,540 TOUCH ME AGAIN, 1308 01:02:24,623 --> 01:02:27,501 I'M GONNA RIP YOUR GOD DAMN WINGS OFF, OKAY? 1309 01:02:27,584 --> 01:02:30,962 YOU KNOW I LIKE THE ROUGH STUFF, DON'T YOU, FRANK? 1310 01:02:31,046 --> 01:02:32,840 ♪ JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE ♪ 1311 01:02:32,923 --> 01:02:35,425 ♪ JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE BELLS ♪♪ 1312 01:02:36,219 --> 01:02:38,762 HI! 1313 01:02:38,804 --> 01:02:39,972 COME ON, CALVIN. 1314 01:02:40,056 --> 01:02:41,182 HEY, CALVIN. 1315 01:02:41,265 --> 01:02:44,518 MERRY CHRISTMAS, COOLEY FAMILY! 1316 01:02:44,601 --> 01:02:46,229 MA, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME GET ME. 1317 01:02:46,312 --> 01:02:47,479 I COULD HAVE RODE THE SUBWAY. 1318 01:02:47,563 --> 01:02:50,191 NOT THIS LATE BY YOURSELF. ARE YOU READY? 1319 01:02:50,274 --> 01:02:51,483 YEAH. 1320 01:02:51,567 --> 01:02:53,527 - HI! - HI, MOM! 1321 01:02:53,610 --> 01:02:55,279 COME ON, MOM. 1322 01:02:55,321 --> 01:02:57,447 - HI, GIRLS. - HI, MOM. 1323 01:02:57,489 --> 01:03:00,367 "HI, MOM." IS THAT ALL I GET? 1324 01:03:00,450 --> 01:03:02,953 I'M GONNA GET FRESHENED UP. 1325 01:03:05,622 --> 01:03:08,500 LEAVE IT ALONE. NO ONE CAN DO IT. 1326 01:03:08,542 --> 01:03:12,046 SHASTA, RANDEE, WASH UP. 1327 01:03:12,129 --> 01:03:14,381 OKAY, GRANDMA. 1328 01:03:14,464 --> 01:03:16,508 ♪ THINK OF YOUR FELLOW MAN ♪ 1329 01:03:16,550 --> 01:03:19,678 ♪ LEND HIM A HELPING HAND ♪ 1330 01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:23,224 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART... ♪♪ 1331 01:03:23,307 --> 01:03:24,975 OH, LOOK! 1332 01:03:25,017 --> 01:03:26,269 HE DID IT! 1333 01:03:26,352 --> 01:03:29,313 HE'S A BRIGHT LITTLE GUY. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? 1334 01:03:29,355 --> 01:03:30,731 HE HASN'T SPOKEN 1335 01:03:30,814 --> 01:03:33,650 SINCE HE SAW HIS FATHER KILLED FIVE YEARS AGO. 1336 01:03:33,692 --> 01:03:37,196 HE DRIFTED AWAY LIKE SLEEPING BEAUTY. 1337 01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:42,034 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT GRACE'S HUSBAND HAD DIED. 1338 01:03:42,076 --> 01:03:46,372 DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN SHE WORE BLACK FOR A YEAR? 1339 01:03:46,413 --> 01:03:47,999 I REMEMBER HER WEARING BLACK, 1340 01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:50,501 BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS A FASHION THING. 1341 01:03:50,542 --> 01:03:53,129 PEOPLE WERE WEARING BLACK, YOU KNOW. 1342 01:03:53,212 --> 01:03:55,006 OH, FRANK. 1343 01:03:55,047 --> 01:03:57,049 MY, MY. POOR FRANK. 1344 01:03:57,133 --> 01:03:59,385 IS HE GOING TO BE OKAY? 1345 01:03:59,426 --> 01:04:01,470 IT'S HIS CHOICE. 1346 01:04:01,553 --> 01:04:03,848 ONLY HE CAN BREAK THE SPELL. 1347 01:04:03,889 --> 01:04:05,808 GRACE: YOU'LL BE LAUGHING SOON ENOUGH! 1348 01:04:05,891 --> 01:04:07,893 THIS IS CHRISTMAS, HONEY! 1349 01:04:07,977 --> 01:04:10,729 PUT SOME LOVE IN YOUR HEART! 1350 01:04:10,771 --> 01:04:11,856 GET BACK! 1351 01:04:11,897 --> 01:04:13,607 A MERRY CHRISTMAS. GOD BLESS US. 1352 01:04:13,691 --> 01:04:17,362 GOD BLESS US EVERY ONE. 1353 01:04:17,403 --> 01:04:18,904 LEAVE ME ALONE! MAMA! 1354 01:04:18,988 --> 01:04:21,199 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1355 01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:22,408 OH! OH! 1356 01:04:22,491 --> 01:04:25,911 COME IN, FRANK, AND JOIN THE FUN! 1357 01:04:25,953 --> 01:04:27,079 OH! 1358 01:04:27,163 --> 01:04:29,456 AAH! AAH! 1359 01:04:29,540 --> 01:04:31,083 A LOVELY FAMILY! 1360 01:04:31,125 --> 01:04:32,459 THEY'RE SO HAPPY! 1361 01:04:32,543 --> 01:04:35,213 THEY'RE SO HAPPY, BUT SO POOR, 1362 01:04:35,254 --> 01:04:36,463 YOU TIGHTWAD! 1363 01:04:36,547 --> 01:04:38,924 SHE MAY BE DUE FOR A RAISE. 1364 01:04:39,008 --> 01:04:41,510 - MAY BE? - PROBABLY! 1365 01:04:41,593 --> 01:04:44,471 MAY BE, PROBABLY, PERHAPS? 1366 01:04:44,555 --> 01:04:46,391 I'M--I'M ALMOST POSITIVE. 1367 01:04:46,432 --> 01:04:48,142 GET OFF YOUR BROTHER! 1368 01:04:48,226 --> 01:04:50,186 THIS BOY IS MINE! 1369 01:04:50,269 --> 01:04:51,937 ( blowing raspberries ) 1370 01:04:52,021 --> 01:04:53,605 THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN! 1371 01:04:53,689 --> 01:04:55,441 ( raspberry noises ) 1372 01:04:55,482 --> 01:04:59,111 CUT IT OUT! STOP IT! STOP IT! 1373 01:04:59,153 --> 01:05:00,821 DON'T FORGET-- WATCH THE SHOW. 1374 01:05:00,905 --> 01:05:03,448 I'M TAKING CALVIN WITH ME, MAMA. 1375 01:05:03,490 --> 01:05:05,993 NO! NO! MORE! MORE! 1376 01:05:06,077 --> 01:05:08,287 NEXT STOP'S DOWN... TOWN! 1377 01:05:08,371 --> 01:05:08,657 HA, HA, HA, HA! 1378 01:05:08,716 --> 01:05:12,016 HA, HA, HA, HA! 1379 01:05:12,058 --> 01:05:14,519 OH! UGH! 1380 01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:15,853 HA, HA! 1381 01:05:15,937 --> 01:05:19,274 HOW WAS YOUR TRIP, FRANK? 1382 01:05:19,357 --> 01:05:20,691 HI, CUJO. 1383 01:05:20,733 --> 01:05:22,860 ( dog barks ) 1384 01:05:22,944 --> 01:05:24,695 BARK! BARK! 1385 01:05:27,907 --> 01:05:29,534 WHAT ARE YOU BARKING AT OUT THERE? 1386 01:05:29,575 --> 01:05:30,701 GO. GO. 1387 01:05:30,785 --> 01:05:32,703 YOU ARE CRAZY. THERE'S NOTHING THERE. 1388 01:05:32,787 --> 01:05:34,747 GET IN THERE. 1389 01:05:34,831 --> 01:05:37,041 LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. 1390 01:05:37,083 --> 01:05:38,251 STAY HERE. 1391 01:05:38,335 --> 01:05:40,504 HO, HO! OH! 1392 01:05:40,545 --> 01:05:42,588 MY, WHAT A MERRY FEAST! 1393 01:05:42,672 --> 01:05:44,215 IT LOOKS LIKE A BEER COMMERCIAL. 1394 01:05:44,257 --> 01:05:47,260 LET'S GO IN. 1395 01:05:47,344 --> 01:05:48,970 DON'T VEX ME, FRANK, 1396 01:05:49,053 --> 01:05:52,516 OR I'LL FIX YOUR MOUTH SO IT WON'T HOLD SOAP! 1397 01:05:52,557 --> 01:05:54,559 A CHRISTMAS PARTY! 1398 01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,727 I'M SO GLAD I WORE MY PRETTY DRESS. 1399 01:05:56,811 --> 01:05:58,062 ON THE ADDAMS FAMILY, 1400 01:05:58,146 --> 01:06:00,398 WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DID LURCH PLAY? 1401 01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:02,733 ON THE ADDAMS FAMILY, 1402 01:06:02,817 --> 01:06:05,236 WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DID LURCH PLAY? 1403 01:06:05,278 --> 01:06:08,281 I MAY BE INVISIBLE, BUT I'M NOT DEAF! 1404 01:06:08,365 --> 01:06:10,074 WE'LL SAY PIANO. 1405 01:06:10,158 --> 01:06:11,284 EHHH! 1406 01:06:11,368 --> 01:06:12,618 HARPSICHORD. 1407 01:06:12,702 --> 01:06:14,287 A HARPSICHORD, JAMES, YOU DOPE. 1408 01:06:14,371 --> 01:06:15,497 YOU KNEW THAT! 1409 01:06:15,580 --> 01:06:17,623 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. 1410 01:06:17,707 --> 01:06:21,545 IT'S THEIR HOUSE. BETTER GIVE IT TO THEM. 1411 01:06:21,586 --> 01:06:24,339 - I WOULDN'T DO THAT! - GIVE IT TO THEM. 1412 01:06:24,422 --> 01:06:28,134 JAMES, YOU FORGOT TO OPEN YOUR BROTHER'S PRESENT. 1413 01:06:28,218 --> 01:06:30,803 THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A TOWEL. 1414 01:06:30,886 --> 01:06:32,389 WHAT ABOUT LAST YEAR? 1415 01:06:32,430 --> 01:06:34,391 - I DON'T REMEMBER. - I REMEMBER. 1416 01:06:34,432 --> 01:06:35,808 A SHOWER CURTAIN! 1417 01:06:35,892 --> 01:06:38,769 A BEAUTIFUL SHOWER CURTAIN. GRAY, WITH IBC LOGOS. 1418 01:06:38,853 --> 01:06:41,064 IT HAD LITTLE, UH... YEAH! 1419 01:06:41,105 --> 01:06:44,359 WHAT DID YOU GET HIM THIS YEAR? 1420 01:06:44,442 --> 01:06:46,777 OH! OH! AAA! 1421 01:06:46,861 --> 01:06:49,280 I MADE THIS PICTURE FRAME. 1422 01:06:49,322 --> 01:06:51,616 WITH HIS OWN LITTLE HANDS. 1423 01:06:51,699 --> 01:06:53,868 OH, HOW SWEET. 1424 01:06:53,951 --> 01:06:55,286 ♪ I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW ♪ 1425 01:06:55,370 --> 01:06:57,997 ♪ I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW ♪ 1426 01:06:58,081 --> 01:06:59,541 - SHUT UP! - ♪ I-- ♪♪ 1427 01:06:59,624 --> 01:07:02,293 UH-OH. JACKPOT. 1428 01:07:02,335 --> 01:07:04,462 IT'S YOUR BASIC TOP-OF-THE-LINE 1429 01:07:04,504 --> 01:07:05,963 PIONEER VCR. 1430 01:07:06,047 --> 01:07:06,963 WOW! 1431 01:07:07,048 --> 01:07:08,966 I THINK HE MADE A MISTAKE. 1432 01:07:09,050 --> 01:07:11,010 I DIDN'T MIX UP THE GIFTS! 1433 01:07:11,094 --> 01:07:14,931 MY EX-SECRETARY GOT THE GIFTS MIXED UP. 1434 01:07:14,972 --> 01:07:18,642 EVERY YEAR, HE'S TOO BUSY TO COME TO CHRISTMAS DINNER. 1435 01:07:18,725 --> 01:07:20,478 WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? 1436 01:07:20,562 --> 01:07:22,939 NEVER. HE'S MY BROTHER. 1437 01:07:22,980 --> 01:07:28,194 A TOAST TO MY BROTHER FRANK. 1438 01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:29,446 I WISH HE WAS HERE. 1439 01:07:29,487 --> 01:07:31,864 WERE, GOOFY. 1440 01:07:31,948 --> 01:07:33,741 YOU'RE TOO GOOD. 1441 01:07:33,824 --> 01:07:35,410 TO FRANK. TO FRANK. 1442 01:07:35,493 --> 01:07:37,078 THE RICHEST MAN YOU KNOW. 1443 01:07:37,161 --> 01:07:39,163 KEEP THE VCR. 1444 01:07:39,247 --> 01:07:40,831 WHAT THE HELL. 1445 01:07:40,872 --> 01:07:42,792 IT'S ONLY M-M-MONEY. 1446 01:07:42,833 --> 01:07:47,464 IT'S A WRITE-OFF. IT'S TAX-DEDUCTIBLE. 1447 01:07:47,505 --> 01:07:50,341 I UNDERSTAND, FRANK. 1448 01:07:50,425 --> 01:07:54,137 WHAT BOAT TOOK THEM ALL TO GILLIGAN'S ISLAND? 1449 01:07:54,178 --> 01:07:57,474 THIS IS SO EASY! 1450 01:07:57,516 --> 01:07:59,685 THE, UH... 1451 01:07:59,767 --> 01:08:01,227 YOU GOT TO KNOW! 1452 01:08:01,311 --> 01:08:02,479 S.S. MACKEREL. 1453 01:08:02,521 --> 01:08:04,481 NO. 1454 01:08:04,523 --> 01:08:06,024 LET'S GO NOW. 1455 01:08:06,065 --> 01:08:07,693 LEAVE ME ALONE. I KNOW THIS ONE. 1456 01:08:07,775 --> 01:08:09,695 EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS ONE. LET'S GO! 1457 01:08:09,735 --> 01:08:12,864 DOES EVERYBODY KNOW THIS ONE? 1458 01:08:12,905 --> 01:08:15,367 OH, FRANK, LET'S NOT... 1459 01:08:15,450 --> 01:08:17,619 FIGHT ANYMORE! 1460 01:08:17,703 --> 01:08:19,454 OH, LOOK, FRANK. 1461 01:08:19,538 --> 01:08:21,707 WHAT IS IT? 1462 01:08:21,789 --> 01:08:25,418 IT'S A... TOASTER! 1463 01:08:25,502 --> 01:08:29,797 OH! OH. 1464 01:08:29,881 --> 01:08:32,049 THE BITCH HIT ME WITH A TOASTER. 1465 01:08:32,133 --> 01:08:36,638 OH, I LOVE A GIRL WITH SPIRIT! 1466 01:08:36,722 --> 01:08:38,056 THIS IS NICE. 1467 01:08:38,097 --> 01:08:40,016 WHERE ARE WE? TRUMP TOWER? 1468 01:08:40,057 --> 01:08:42,227 WHEW! I'VE SEEN A LITTLE BIT OF THE CITY. 1469 01:08:42,310 --> 01:08:46,189 HEY! DOWN HERE! HEY! DOWN HERE! 1470 01:08:46,231 --> 01:08:48,441 YO! HEY, JERSEY! 1471 01:08:48,525 --> 01:08:50,485 CALL STREETS AND SANITATION! 1472 01:08:50,569 --> 01:08:52,236 THANKS FOR THE SHOT. 1473 01:08:52,277 --> 01:08:53,779 HEY! HEY! 1474 01:08:53,862 --> 01:08:56,241 I'M HAVING THE WEIRDEST DAY! 1475 01:08:56,281 --> 01:08:57,658 COP! 1476 01:08:57,743 --> 01:08:59,411 HEY, COP! 1477 01:08:59,494 --> 01:09:01,120 HELP ME, PLEASE! 1478 01:09:14,259 --> 01:09:16,886 HA, HA, HA! 1479 01:09:17,763 --> 01:09:19,431 HERMAN! 1480 01:09:20,432 --> 01:09:21,600 HERMAN. 1481 01:09:21,683 --> 01:09:23,808 COFFEE'S ON ME. COME HERE. 1482 01:09:23,893 --> 01:09:27,355 JESUS, GIVE ME A HAPPY ENDING HERE, HERM. 1483 01:09:37,616 --> 01:09:39,284 HERMAN. 1484 01:09:39,325 --> 01:09:42,286 IT'S DICK. 1485 01:09:42,370 --> 01:09:44,455 LIZ SAYS HI. 1486 01:09:47,959 --> 01:09:49,835 MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU THE TWO BUCKS. 1487 01:09:49,919 --> 01:09:52,170 HA, HA! UM... 1488 01:09:58,886 --> 01:10:00,722 YOU MORON! 1489 01:10:00,806 --> 01:10:03,600 YOU JERK! 1490 01:10:03,642 --> 01:10:07,186 WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY WITH CLAIRE? 1491 01:10:07,270 --> 01:10:08,938 SHE'D HAVE TAKEN CARE OF YOU. 1492 01:10:08,980 --> 01:10:10,940 YOU WOULD HAVE EATEN! YOU'D HAVE BEEN WARM! 1493 01:10:10,982 --> 01:10:12,484 YOU MIGHT BE ALIVE! 1494 01:10:12,525 --> 01:10:15,320 YOU'D BE A PRETTIER COLOR, I'LL TELL YOU THAT! 1495 01:10:18,490 --> 01:10:21,326 IS THERE A WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE, HERMAN? 1496 01:10:29,375 --> 01:10:31,377 IT'S THE DOOR, ISN'T IT? 1497 01:10:37,133 --> 01:10:38,635 IT IS THE DOOR, ISN'T IT? 1498 01:10:38,677 --> 01:10:40,637 IT'S THE DOOR! 1499 01:10:40,679 --> 01:10:42,221 AHA! 1500 01:10:42,305 --> 01:10:45,350 THIS HAD TO BE THE DOOR BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY PLACE 1501 01:10:45,433 --> 01:10:46,934 THAT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE... 1502 01:10:47,018 --> 01:10:48,561 URINE! 1503 01:10:52,774 --> 01:10:56,027 OHH... SHIT! 1504 01:10:56,110 --> 01:10:57,362 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1505 01:10:57,445 --> 01:11:00,699 PAUL, WHERE ARE YOU, KID? I NEED YOU! 1506 01:11:00,740 --> 01:11:01,949 YOU! JOKER! 1507 01:11:02,033 --> 01:11:03,201 GET OFF THE SET! 1508 01:11:03,242 --> 01:11:05,704 YEAH, WE SEE YOU, PAL. 1509 01:11:05,787 --> 01:11:07,539 GET OFF THE SET, BY-- 1510 01:11:07,622 --> 01:11:08,998 OH, MY GOD. 1511 01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:10,375 IT'S MR. CROSS! 1512 01:11:10,416 --> 01:11:13,252 WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. 1513 01:11:13,336 --> 01:11:15,296 I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1514 01:11:15,380 --> 01:11:18,924 FRANK, YOU LOOK LIKE ERROL FLYNN. 1515 01:11:19,008 --> 01:11:20,301 HE'S OKAY. 1516 01:11:20,385 --> 01:11:22,220 GO UPSTAIRS TO YOUR OFFICE. 1517 01:11:22,261 --> 01:11:24,890 SUPERVISE THINGS. CHECK THE SATELLITE LINKUPS. 1518 01:11:24,972 --> 01:11:28,560 WE GOT THREE MINUTES TILL AIR. 1519 01:11:28,601 --> 01:11:30,019 BREAK A LEG, EVERYBODY. 1520 01:11:30,061 --> 01:11:32,438 I FEEL REAL WEIRD ABOUT TONIGHT. 1521 01:11:32,522 --> 01:11:34,566 HEAR THAT, FOLKS? THIS ONE'S FOR FRANK. 1522 01:11:34,607 --> 01:11:37,402 THIS IS HIS BABY. 1523 01:11:37,443 --> 01:11:39,612 DON'T LOSE IT ON ME, HUH? 1524 01:11:39,696 --> 01:11:41,197 IT'S BEEN SUCH AN HONOR 1525 01:11:41,239 --> 01:11:43,909 TO WORK FOR THE GREAT FRANK CROSS. 1526 01:11:43,949 --> 01:11:47,203 I'LL DINE OUT ON THIS FOR MONTHS. 1527 01:11:47,245 --> 01:11:49,080 GRACE WILL TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS. 1528 01:11:49,121 --> 01:11:53,125 THINGS MIGHT BE SAFER THAN DOWN HERE. 1529 01:11:53,209 --> 01:11:55,461 GOT ANY LAST TIPS FOR ME, HUH? 1530 01:11:57,338 --> 01:12:00,258 AAAAH! 1531 01:12:00,298 --> 01:12:02,260 GRACE, WATCH THE SHOW! 1532 01:12:02,301 --> 01:12:04,763 HE'S HERE FOR ME! GIVE IT TO ME! 1533 01:12:04,804 --> 01:12:08,099 YOU THINK I'M AFRAID OF YOU, THE DAY I'VE HAD? 1534 01:12:08,141 --> 01:12:12,353 I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. COME GET IT, YOU PUSSY. 1535 01:12:12,437 --> 01:12:13,521 BRICE! 1536 01:12:13,605 --> 01:12:17,400 STOP SCARING FRANK. GET THIS NUTCAKE OUT. 1537 01:12:17,442 --> 01:12:19,653 OH, JESUS. 1538 01:12:19,736 --> 01:12:21,446 HE'S IN THE SHOW 1539 01:12:21,488 --> 01:12:24,282 AS THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE. 1540 01:12:25,450 --> 01:12:29,663 HE'S GREAT. HE'LL BE A BIG STAR. 1541 01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:31,122 GO WATCH THE SHOW. 1542 01:12:31,164 --> 01:12:32,582 WE'RE MAKING HISTORY TONIGHT. 1543 01:12:32,624 --> 01:12:34,876 OK VIDEO. 1544 01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:36,252 FIVE SECONDS TILL THE OPEN. 1545 01:12:36,294 --> 01:12:38,296 WE'LL GO LIVE. 1546 01:12:45,303 --> 01:12:48,139 GOD BLESS US EVERY ONE! 1547 01:12:52,268 --> 01:12:54,312 TONIGHT, LIVE ON IBC, 1548 01:12:54,354 --> 01:12:56,690 THE WORLD PREMIERE TELECAST OF A CHRISTMAS CLASSIC, 1549 01:12:56,773 --> 01:12:59,985 CHARLES DICKENS' IMMORTAL SCROOGE. 1550 01:13:12,664 --> 01:13:14,708 READY TO ROLL "B." 1551 01:13:14,791 --> 01:13:16,877 DON'T SCREW UP. 1552 01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:19,838 HOLD THERE, THREE. 1553 01:13:19,921 --> 01:13:21,088 ALL RIGHT, COMING UP ON THREE. 1554 01:13:21,172 --> 01:13:23,550 3, 2, 1... DISSOLVE IT. 1555 01:13:23,633 --> 01:13:24,885 RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. 1556 01:13:24,968 --> 01:13:28,013 SLOW PULLOUT ON THREE. 1557 01:13:28,054 --> 01:13:29,597 DOWN ON HOUSEMAN, LIGHTS UP. 1558 01:13:29,681 --> 01:13:31,098 READY? MIKE HIM. 1559 01:13:31,182 --> 01:13:34,519 IT WAS A COLD, BLEAK CHRISTMAS EVE. 1560 01:13:34,561 --> 01:13:37,063 THE FOG-DRAPED STREETS OF LONDON... 1561 01:13:37,146 --> 01:13:39,983 HOUSEMAN IS WONDERFUL! 1562 01:13:40,025 --> 01:13:42,193 GIVE ME THE BEER. 1563 01:13:42,275 --> 01:13:44,863 ...A PHANTOM THROUGH A DINGY MIST, 1564 01:13:44,946 --> 01:13:47,615 OLD EBENEZER SCROOGE. 1565 01:13:47,698 --> 01:13:50,451 ALONE IN HIS GLOOMY CHAMBERS... 1566 01:13:50,534 --> 01:13:53,162 MAKE THAT MOVE WHEN WE'RE OFF HOUSEMAN. 1567 01:13:53,204 --> 01:13:55,707 DISSOLVE THREE. 1568 01:13:55,790 --> 01:13:56,917 WHAT HAVE WE HERE? 1569 01:13:57,000 --> 01:14:00,378 THEY'RE DORMICE, UNCLE. 1570 01:14:00,461 --> 01:14:01,755 DORMICE? 1571 01:14:01,838 --> 01:14:04,173 YOU SEE? WORKS LIKE A CHARM. 1572 01:14:04,215 --> 01:14:05,550 THEY BRING YOU LUCK. 1573 01:14:05,633 --> 01:14:06,927 ARE YOU LUCKY? 1574 01:14:07,010 --> 01:14:10,055 YES. YOUR NIECE IS MY WIFE. 1575 01:14:10,137 --> 01:14:13,725 I'VE GOT A GOOD JOB, AND IT'S THE HOLIDAYS, SIR. 1576 01:14:13,767 --> 01:14:15,393 HOLIDAY, IS IT? 1577 01:14:15,476 --> 01:14:17,562 THAT MIGHT BE FOR A WIFE, 1578 01:14:17,645 --> 01:14:19,397 ALL RIGHT... 1579 01:14:22,901 --> 01:14:27,196 "TO FRANK, THE BEST BROTHER A GUY EVER HAD, 1580 01:14:27,238 --> 01:14:30,617 MERRY CHRISTMAS." 1581 01:14:30,700 --> 01:14:36,623 ♪ WHEN THE SNOW LAY ROUNDABOUT, DEEP AND CRISP AND EVEN ♪ 1582 01:14:36,706 --> 01:14:37,118 ♪ BRAVELY SHONE THE MOON AT NIGHT ♪ 1583 01:14:37,441 --> 01:14:39,907 ♪ BRAVELY SHONE THE MOON AT NIGHT ♪ 1584 01:14:39,990 --> 01:14:42,410 ♪ THOUGH THE FROST WAS CRUEL ♪ 1585 01:14:42,492 --> 01:14:44,912 ♪ WHEN A POOR MAN CAME IN SIGHT ♪ 1586 01:14:44,995 --> 01:14:49,875 ♪ GATHERING WINTER FUEL ♪♪ 1587 01:14:49,917 --> 01:14:53,087 THIS IS INDEED A NIGHT FOR REVELATION. 1588 01:14:53,170 --> 01:14:54,922 THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME 1589 01:14:54,964 --> 01:14:56,340 THE TRUE MEANING. 1590 01:14:56,424 --> 01:14:57,925 THANK ME NOT, EBENEZER, 1591 01:14:57,967 --> 01:15:00,261 FOR SOON, YOU SHALL BE VISITED 1592 01:15:00,344 --> 01:15:02,596 BY THE FINAL SPIRIT, 1593 01:15:02,679 --> 01:15:06,725 THE THING THAT ALL MEN FEAR THE MOST, 1594 01:15:06,767 --> 01:15:09,645 THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE. 1595 01:15:09,728 --> 01:15:11,605 THANK YOU, SIR. 1596 01:15:11,688 --> 01:15:15,276 I'LL BE SO GOOD. I'LL REPENT. 1597 01:15:15,359 --> 01:15:17,903 GRRR! 1598 01:15:19,863 --> 01:15:23,533 COME HERE. 1599 01:15:23,617 --> 01:15:25,453 IF YOU WERE MY FRIEND... 1600 01:15:35,671 --> 01:15:38,007 HONEY, I'M HOME! 1601 01:15:42,219 --> 01:15:43,679 REMEMBER ME, BOSS... 1602 01:15:43,762 --> 01:15:46,974 THE GUY YOU CANNED THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS? 1603 01:15:47,016 --> 01:15:50,186 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 1604 01:15:50,269 --> 01:15:52,313 HELLO, RABBIT. HA, HA! 1605 01:15:52,396 --> 01:15:53,689 WOULD YOU GIVE ME A RUNNING START? 1606 01:15:53,772 --> 01:15:56,984 SURE. 1,001, 1,002... 1607 01:15:57,026 --> 01:16:00,154 1,003! 1608 01:16:00,196 --> 01:16:03,199 MY GOD! MY BABIES! 1609 01:16:03,907 --> 01:16:05,826 AAH! OHH! 1610 01:16:05,867 --> 01:16:07,119 AAH! OOOH! 1611 01:16:07,161 --> 01:16:09,621 AAAAH! 1612 01:16:09,663 --> 01:16:12,666 ♪ OH, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT... ♪ 1613 01:16:12,749 --> 01:16:15,085 COME BACK AFTER THE HOLIDAYS. 1614 01:16:15,169 --> 01:16:16,628 I'VE HAD A BAD DAY. 1615 01:16:16,670 --> 01:16:18,464 YOU HAD A BAD DAY? 1616 01:16:18,506 --> 01:16:21,550 LISTEN TO MY DAY-- I GOT FIRED, 1617 01:16:21,633 --> 01:16:23,718 MY WIFE LEFT ME, 1618 01:16:23,801 --> 01:16:28,015 SHE TOOK OUR LITTLE BABY DAUGHTER... 1619 01:16:28,057 --> 01:16:29,892 WITH HER. 1620 01:16:29,974 --> 01:16:31,852 I CAN'T RECALL MUCH AFTER THAT 1621 01:16:31,936 --> 01:16:37,024 BECAUSE EVER SINCE THEN, I'VE BEEN BLIND, STINKING... 1622 01:16:37,066 --> 01:16:39,777 DRUNK! 1623 01:16:39,860 --> 01:16:43,281 ♪ HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING ♪ 1624 01:16:43,364 --> 01:16:48,119 ELIOT, I'M HAVING A MUCH WORSE DAY THAN YOU ARE! 1625 01:16:48,202 --> 01:16:50,246 MUCH WORSE! REALLY! 1626 01:16:50,329 --> 01:16:52,873 ♪ HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN BAD... ♪ 1627 01:16:52,915 --> 01:16:55,418 ( gunshot ) 1628 01:16:55,501 --> 01:16:59,004 ♪ SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE ♪ 1629 01:16:59,046 --> 01:17:02,007 ♪ OH HE'S MAKING A LIST ♪ 1630 01:17:02,049 --> 01:17:04,718 ♪ HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE ♪ 1631 01:17:04,760 --> 01:17:06,762 ♪ GONNA FIND OUT ♪ 1632 01:17:06,845 --> 01:17:08,847 ♪ WHO'S NAUGHTY OR NICE ♪ 1633 01:17:08,889 --> 01:17:12,101 ♪ SANTA CLAUS ♪ 1634 01:17:12,184 --> 01:17:13,685 ♪ IS COMING ♪ 1635 01:17:13,727 --> 01:17:15,563 ♪ TO TOWN ♪♪ - AAAAH! 1636 01:17:18,023 --> 01:17:19,150 OOH! 1637 01:17:19,233 --> 01:17:20,359 GRRR! 1638 01:17:20,401 --> 01:17:21,609 AAOOW! 1639 01:17:21,693 --> 01:17:25,030 OH, IT'S YOU... CREEP. 1640 01:17:25,072 --> 01:17:27,074 AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE STUDIO? 1641 01:17:27,157 --> 01:17:28,326 WE'RE ON THE AIR. 1642 01:17:28,409 --> 01:17:29,785 BACK OFF, BIG MAN. 1643 01:17:29,868 --> 01:17:33,914 THAT MAY WORK WITH THE CHICKS, BUT NOT WITH ME. 1644 01:17:33,998 --> 01:17:36,292 GRRR! 1645 01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:37,793 MAY I? 1646 01:17:48,471 --> 01:17:50,264 DID OUR PEOPLE DO THAT? 1647 01:17:50,348 --> 01:17:52,350 WE'RE GOING TO GET PHONE CALLS. 1648 01:17:53,351 --> 01:17:55,769 ( whoosh ) 1649 01:18:06,738 --> 01:18:09,157 MAN: OOOOH! 1650 01:18:15,080 --> 01:18:17,833 VISITING HOURS ARE OVER, MRS. COOLEY. 1651 01:18:20,669 --> 01:18:21,919 I JUST GOT HERE. 1652 01:18:21,962 --> 01:18:23,589 I KNOW, BUT WE HAVE TO GO. 1653 01:18:26,551 --> 01:18:28,844 MERRY CHRISTMAS, CALVIN. 1654 01:18:32,431 --> 01:18:34,600 I'LL SEE YOU. 1655 01:18:35,393 --> 01:18:37,311 ( locks door ) 1656 01:18:44,610 --> 01:18:46,571 THIS IS JUST POSSIBLE FUTURE, RIGHT? 1657 01:18:46,654 --> 01:18:51,242 I KNOW THE HEAD OF PEDIATRICS AT NYU. 1658 01:18:51,325 --> 01:18:53,494 WE CAN GET THIS KID OUT OF HERE RIGHT AWAY. 1659 01:18:53,578 --> 01:18:55,119 THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM. 1660 01:18:55,162 --> 01:18:57,164 I'M ALL OVER THIS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! 1661 01:19:01,335 --> 01:19:04,422 HA, HA, HA! 1662 01:19:05,548 --> 01:19:07,675 WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? 1663 01:19:07,716 --> 01:19:09,510 WHERE DID THEY COME FROM? 1664 01:19:09,594 --> 01:19:11,679 HEY, YOU! BEAT IT! 1665 01:19:11,720 --> 01:19:12,971 PLEASE. PLEASE. 1666 01:19:13,013 --> 01:19:16,434 LOOK AT THOSE FILTHY LITTLE CREATURES. 1667 01:19:16,517 --> 01:19:17,685 IMMEDIATEMENT! 1668 01:19:17,768 --> 01:19:20,771 OH, CLAIRE! CLAIRE! 1669 01:19:20,854 --> 01:19:23,482 CLAIRE, THEY'RE JUST CHILDREN. 1670 01:19:23,523 --> 01:19:25,276 PLEASE, DARLING, 1671 01:19:25,359 --> 01:19:27,445 DON'T TELL ME. 1672 01:19:27,528 --> 01:19:29,697 I WASTED 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE 1673 01:19:29,780 --> 01:19:33,242 ON PATHETIC CREATURES LIKE THOSE. 1674 01:19:33,325 --> 01:19:34,785 FINALLY, THANK GOD, 1675 01:19:34,868 --> 01:19:37,746 A FRIEND OF MINE SAID TO ME, 1676 01:19:37,829 --> 01:19:39,873 "SCRAPE 'EM OFF, CLAIRE. 1677 01:19:39,957 --> 01:19:42,460 "YOU WANT TO SAVE SOMEBODY, 1678 01:19:42,543 --> 01:19:45,463 SAVE YOURSELF." 1679 01:19:45,546 --> 01:19:47,715 I'M SORRY, CLAIRE. 1680 01:19:47,756 --> 01:19:50,884 THANKS A LOT, LUMPY. 1681 01:19:56,014 --> 01:19:58,726 THAT WAS A LOUSY THING TO DO. 1682 01:20:06,817 --> 01:20:09,069 DISNEYLAND? 1683 01:20:32,593 --> 01:20:34,554 WENDIE! 1684 01:20:35,804 --> 01:20:37,139 OH, NO. 1685 01:20:37,223 --> 01:20:38,807 JAMES... 1686 01:20:38,891 --> 01:20:40,851 MY BROTHER... 1687 01:20:40,934 --> 01:20:43,521 HE'S DEAD. 1688 01:20:43,604 --> 01:20:45,856 WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? 1689 01:20:49,151 --> 01:20:51,404 WELL, WHEN I GET... BACK... 1690 01:20:51,445 --> 01:20:53,447 I'M GONNA... 1691 01:20:53,531 --> 01:20:55,575 THERE HE IS! JAMES! 1692 01:20:58,661 --> 01:20:59,995 WHO'S IN THERE? 1693 01:21:00,079 --> 01:21:02,373 "THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD. I SHALL NOT WANT. 1694 01:21:02,456 --> 01:21:04,625 HE MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES. 1695 01:21:04,709 --> 01:21:09,129 HE LEADETH ME IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS." 1696 01:21:09,213 --> 01:21:11,758 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THAT YOU'RE SAYING? 1697 01:21:11,799 --> 01:21:13,884 WHAT? THAT I'VE DIED? 1698 01:21:19,807 --> 01:21:21,517 WHY SHOW ME THIS STUFF? 1699 01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:22,975 I CAN'T DO ANYTHING DEAD! 1700 01:21:23,018 --> 01:21:27,314 WHY THE HELL DID YOU BOTHER TO SHOW ME THIS? 1701 01:21:27,356 --> 01:21:29,148 JAMES, HELP ME. 1702 01:21:30,484 --> 01:21:33,195 NO! 1703 01:21:33,279 --> 01:21:36,115 DON'T LET THEM BURN ME, JAMES. 1704 01:21:36,156 --> 01:21:38,367 JIMMY, DON'T LET THEM BURN ME! 1705 01:21:38,451 --> 01:21:40,160 PLEASE! 1706 01:21:40,244 --> 01:21:44,039 I'M IN HERE! OH, GOD! 1707 01:21:44,123 --> 01:21:46,500 DON'T LET THEM DO IT! 1708 01:21:46,542 --> 01:21:49,837 DON'T LET THEM! I'M IN HERE! 1709 01:21:49,878 --> 01:21:51,297 AAAH! 1710 01:21:51,338 --> 01:21:52,339 MOM! 1711 01:21:52,423 --> 01:21:56,552 I WANT TO LIVE! I WANT TO LIVE! 1712 01:21:56,636 --> 01:22:00,139 OH, GOD, I WANT TO LIVE! 1713 01:22:00,180 --> 01:22:02,600 I WANT TO LIVE! 1714 01:22:02,683 --> 01:22:05,352 I WANT TO LIVE! 1715 01:22:05,436 --> 01:22:06,937 I'M ALIVE! 1716 01:22:07,020 --> 01:22:08,564 ♪ HALLELUJAH ♪♪ 1717 01:22:08,648 --> 01:22:10,733 HOLY SHIT, WHAT A BREAK! 1718 01:22:10,817 --> 01:22:12,777 I'M AT WORK! 1719 01:22:12,860 --> 01:22:15,028 OH, GOD, IT'S THE SUN! 1720 01:22:15,112 --> 01:22:17,281 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE SUN AGAIN. 1721 01:22:17,364 --> 01:22:18,866 I'M ALIVE! 1722 01:22:18,907 --> 01:22:20,367 NOT FOR LONG. 1723 01:22:20,409 --> 01:22:23,788 MILKMAN! 1724 01:22:23,871 --> 01:22:25,873 I'M THE WOODSTOCK BABY! 1725 01:22:25,914 --> 01:22:28,208 I'M GONNA START WITH YOU. 1726 01:22:29,502 --> 01:22:31,253 YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITES. COME HERE! 1727 01:22:31,337 --> 01:22:33,589 ♪ I'M ALIVE ♪ 1728 01:22:33,673 --> 01:22:36,049 ♪ AND SO ARE YOU ♪♪ 1729 01:22:36,091 --> 01:22:38,511 YOU GLAD TO SEE ME, OR IS THIS A SHOTGUN 1730 01:22:38,552 --> 01:22:39,804 IN YOUR POCKET? 1731 01:22:39,887 --> 01:22:41,930 OKAY. YOU'VE HEARD IT. 1732 01:22:43,557 --> 01:22:44,767 GREAT! 1733 01:22:44,851 --> 01:22:45,976 DON'T HURT ME. 1734 01:22:46,059 --> 01:22:47,728 PINK SIDE! 1735 01:22:47,812 --> 01:22:49,229 COMING BACK! 1736 01:22:49,271 --> 01:22:50,439 LONG SOLE! 1737 01:22:50,523 --> 01:22:51,899 KNOW THIS ONE? 1738 01:22:51,982 --> 01:22:55,319 THAT'S MY THING. I'M DOING THIS TO EVERYBODY. 1739 01:22:55,402 --> 01:22:58,280 ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE DEAL. 1740 01:22:58,364 --> 01:23:00,282 I'LL REHIRE YOU AT TWICE YOUR ORIGINAL SALARY 1741 01:23:00,366 --> 01:23:03,076 AND MAKE YOU MY VICE PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF PROGRAMMING. 1742 01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:06,038 WOULD YOU LIKE MY OFFICE? 1743 01:23:06,079 --> 01:23:08,248 NO. I DON'T LIKE YOUR OFFICE. 1744 01:23:09,583 --> 01:23:10,877 THAT'S SO YOU! 1745 01:23:10,918 --> 01:23:12,418 WHAT'S THE CATCH? 1746 01:23:12,461 --> 01:23:15,631 THE CATCH IS YOU TAKE A SHOWER. 1747 01:23:15,715 --> 01:23:17,758 YOU ARE RIPE! 1748 01:23:17,841 --> 01:23:19,259 THERE'S A PROBLEM HERE. 1749 01:23:19,343 --> 01:23:23,222 I WAS LOOKING FOR A FRANCIS XAVIER CROSS. 1750 01:23:23,263 --> 01:23:27,601 THAT'S ME, BUT IT'S NOT ME! 1751 01:23:27,685 --> 01:23:31,605 THE JEWS TAUGHT ME THIS GREAT WORD-- SCHMUCK. 1752 01:23:31,647 --> 01:23:33,273 I WAS A SCHMUCK. 1753 01:23:33,356 --> 01:23:34,859 AND NOW... 1754 01:23:34,942 --> 01:23:36,777 I'M NOT A SCHMUCK. 1755 01:23:36,861 --> 01:23:37,986 ( bell rings ) 1756 01:23:38,070 --> 01:23:40,614 WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT TIME IS IT? 1757 01:23:40,656 --> 01:23:41,949 SOMEBODY STOLE MY WATCH. 1758 01:23:42,032 --> 01:23:43,242 A QUARTER TO! 1759 01:23:43,283 --> 01:23:46,620 WE DIDN'T MISS IT! HA, HA! 1760 01:23:46,704 --> 01:23:48,497 - MISS WHAT? - CHRISTMAS. 1761 01:23:48,581 --> 01:23:51,918 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 1762 01:23:51,959 --> 01:23:55,295 ARE YOU ALONE IN THERE? 1763 01:23:55,337 --> 01:23:57,005 WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN 1764 01:23:57,089 --> 01:23:58,298 FOR ONCE IN THIS LIFE. 1765 01:23:58,382 --> 01:24:01,051 LOUDERMILK AND CROSS TOGETHER! 1766 01:24:02,500 --> 01:24:04,919 MY, WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY! 1767 01:24:05,003 --> 01:24:07,630 THERE HAS NEVER BEEN SUCH A DAY! 1768 01:24:07,714 --> 01:24:08,923 SAY, THERE! 1769 01:24:08,965 --> 01:24:11,175 YOU, LAD! 1770 01:24:11,258 --> 01:24:12,677 ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? 1771 01:24:12,760 --> 01:24:14,595 AND TAKE THREE. 1772 01:24:14,679 --> 01:24:17,556 YES, INDEED! 1773 01:24:17,598 --> 01:24:20,727 BUY ME THE BIGGEST GOOSE IN ALL OF LONDON. 1774 01:24:20,768 --> 01:24:24,939 CAMERA THREE, FOLLOW THE COIN ALL THE WAY DOWN. 1775 01:24:24,981 --> 01:24:27,441 I GOT IT! 1776 01:24:27,483 --> 01:24:29,110 HOLY SHIT, THAT'S FRANK CROSS! 1777 01:24:29,151 --> 01:24:30,486 - HE'S DRUNK! - HE'S NUTS! 1778 01:24:30,570 --> 01:24:32,113 HA, HA! HE'S FINISHED. 1779 01:24:32,196 --> 01:24:35,282 AAAH! 1780 01:24:35,324 --> 01:24:38,327 DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL, AND STAY ON HIM. 1781 01:24:38,411 --> 01:24:40,038 - WHAT'S YOUR NAME? - MIKE. 1782 01:24:40,122 --> 01:24:41,915 SAY HELLO TO YOUR FOLKS. 1783 01:24:41,957 --> 01:24:44,584 MIKE IS DOING GREAT TONIGHT. 1784 01:24:44,626 --> 01:24:49,547 THAT'S FRANK CROSS. IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE ON? 1785 01:24:49,631 --> 01:24:53,217 WHAT IN THE-- 1786 01:24:53,301 --> 01:24:55,177 IN THE BOOTH IS ELIOT LOUDERMILK. 1787 01:24:55,261 --> 01:24:56,679 ELIOT, HOW WE DOING UP THERE? 1788 01:24:56,763 --> 01:24:58,473 OPEN HIS MIKE. 1789 01:24:58,514 --> 01:24:59,599 WONDERFUL! 1790 01:24:59,641 --> 01:25:01,726 YOU WON'T BE PRESIDENT TOMORROW. 1791 01:25:01,810 --> 01:25:06,148 AT LEAST I'M PRESIDENT OF THE NETWORK TONIGHT. 1792 01:25:06,188 --> 01:25:07,649 TOMORROW MAYBE NOT. 1793 01:25:07,732 --> 01:25:11,360 YOU CAN BET YOUR AUNT SUZY'S ASH CAN ON THAT! 1794 01:25:11,444 --> 01:25:15,406 WHY ARE YOU WATCHING TELEVISION ON CHRISTMAS EVE? 1795 01:25:15,490 --> 01:25:18,118 THEY'RE PAYING YOUR SALARY, YOU ASS! 1796 01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:21,412 WHAT KIND OF A RAT BASTARD IDIOT 1797 01:25:21,496 --> 01:25:24,666 WOULD SCHEDULE A LIVE SHOW ON CHRISTMAS EVE? 1798 01:25:24,707 --> 01:25:26,709 ONLY YOU, FRANK. 1799 01:25:26,793 --> 01:25:29,504 A WEEK AGO, I'D HAVE KICKED YOUR BUTT 1800 01:25:29,545 --> 01:25:32,007 RIGHT OUT OF THE BUILDING. 1801 01:25:32,048 --> 01:25:33,591 HE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 1802 01:25:33,675 --> 01:25:37,929 YOU ARE LOOKING AT A GUY WHO TOLD SOMEONE TODAY 1803 01:25:38,013 --> 01:25:41,975 TO STAPLE ANTLERS TO A MOUSE'S HEAD 1804 01:25:42,017 --> 01:25:43,518 TO FURTHER MY CAREER. 1805 01:25:43,601 --> 01:25:46,354 HOW MANY OF YOU PEOPLE HAVE THE BRASS COJONES 1806 01:25:46,395 --> 01:25:49,858 TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 1807 01:25:49,899 --> 01:25:51,151 STAY WITH HIM. 1808 01:25:51,193 --> 01:25:52,777 I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING. 1809 01:25:52,860 --> 01:25:55,030 FRANK: ALL THESE PEOPLE HAVE INCREDIBLE FAMILIES. 1810 01:25:55,113 --> 01:25:58,533 I GOT A GREAT BROTHER. LOOK AT THIS GUY-- 1811 01:25:58,574 --> 01:26:03,997 MY BROTHER JAMES. LOOK HOW CUTE HE WAS BACK THEN. 1812 01:26:04,039 --> 01:26:08,376 MY EARS...THE TAXI DRIVING DOWN THE STREET WITH THE DOORS OPEN. 1813 01:26:08,417 --> 01:26:09,961 MY HAIR GREW IN. 1814 01:26:10,044 --> 01:26:11,419 NOT YET. 1815 01:26:11,503 --> 01:26:13,548 I GOT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS TODAY FROM HIM. 1816 01:26:13,631 --> 01:26:18,636 I GAVE HIM A TOWEL. THE VCR IS FROM GRACE, JAMES. 1817 01:26:18,720 --> 01:26:20,262 OH. 1818 01:26:20,346 --> 01:26:24,851 YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING, OKAY? 1819 01:26:24,893 --> 01:26:28,312 EXCEPT... 1820 01:26:28,396 --> 01:26:30,314 THE S.S. MINNOW, JAMES. 1821 01:26:30,398 --> 01:26:33,568 WHAT WAS THE SHIP THAT BROUGHT THEM ALL TO GILLIGAN'S ISLAND? 1822 01:26:33,650 --> 01:26:35,111 THE S.S. MINNOW. 1823 01:26:35,195 --> 01:26:38,907 NO POINTS THIS ROUND, JAMES. 1824 01:26:38,990 --> 01:26:40,116 WAIT! 1825 01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:41,409 HOW DID HE KNOW WE WERE PLAYING? 1826 01:26:41,492 --> 01:26:43,619 HELLO, WENDIE. 1827 01:26:46,287 --> 01:26:47,623 ( telephone rings ) 1828 01:26:47,707 --> 01:26:48,624 OUCH! 1829 01:26:48,708 --> 01:26:51,253 CONTROL ROOM! CAN I HELP YOU? 1830 01:26:51,293 --> 01:26:52,545 THIS IS RHINELANDER. 1831 01:26:52,587 --> 01:26:55,757 WHAT IDIOT PUT THAT MORON ON THE AIR? 1832 01:26:55,840 --> 01:26:58,593 BRICE CUMMINGS IS THE IDIOT, SIR. 1833 01:26:58,634 --> 01:27:02,972 HE CAN'T TALK NOW BECAUSE HE'S TIED UP. 1834 01:27:03,056 --> 01:27:04,682 UH-HUH. YES. 1835 01:27:04,766 --> 01:27:08,310 IN FACT, HE JUST SAID YOU WERE A FLATULATING BUTTHEAD. 1836 01:27:08,394 --> 01:27:09,604 A BUTTHEAD? 1837 01:27:09,687 --> 01:27:14,442 HE SAID HE REALLY LIKED YOU IN A CERTAIN WAY. 1838 01:27:14,483 --> 01:27:16,861 ( cat screeches ) 1839 01:27:16,945 --> 01:27:18,280 AWW. 1840 01:27:18,362 --> 01:27:20,322 I DROPPED HER! JUST KIDDING. 1841 01:27:20,406 --> 01:27:23,743 SHE'S A DOLL. IT'S OKAY. 1842 01:27:23,785 --> 01:27:26,913 IT'S A PARTY. COME ON! IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. 1843 01:27:26,955 --> 01:27:28,456 LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE BIT. 1844 01:27:28,539 --> 01:27:31,584 BILLY, CHAMPAGNE FOR 250 PEOPLE. 1845 01:27:31,626 --> 01:27:34,629 SEND THE STUFF YOU SEND TO ME, 1846 01:27:34,712 --> 01:27:36,631 NOT THE STUFF I SEND TO OTHER PEOPLE. 1847 01:27:36,714 --> 01:27:38,716 IT'S NOT TOO LATE ON CHRISTMAS EVE 1848 01:27:38,799 --> 01:27:39,801 TO HAVE FUN. 1849 01:27:39,884 --> 01:27:42,011 CALL PEOPLE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN-- 1850 01:27:42,095 --> 01:27:48,143 A COLLEGE ROOMMATE, AN OLD ARMY BUDDY, YOUR PERSONAL BANKER. 1851 01:27:48,184 --> 01:27:51,313 HEY! I DON'T HEAR ANY PARTYING 1852 01:27:51,395 --> 01:27:53,148 IN THAT BOOTH, ELIOT! - GREAT! 1853 01:27:53,231 --> 01:27:56,318 ( gunshot ) 1854 01:27:56,400 --> 01:27:57,652 YOU HEARD HIM! PARTY! 1855 01:27:57,693 --> 01:27:59,321 WHY WASN'T I INVITED? 1856 01:27:59,361 --> 01:28:03,158 YOU SAW WHAT I DID TO THE WINDOW. 1857 01:28:03,199 --> 01:28:04,492 SEE WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH? 1858 01:28:04,533 --> 01:28:05,827 IT'S A NIGHT. 1859 01:28:05,910 --> 01:28:07,662 YOU'VE GOT TO PARTY HEARTY, MARTY. 1860 01:28:07,703 --> 01:28:09,872 LOOK AT THIS. CHECK THIS OUT. 1861 01:28:09,956 --> 01:28:13,251 WHOA-HO! DON'T BE SO MEAN. 1862 01:28:13,335 --> 01:28:16,129 THERE'S A RULE. 1863 01:28:16,171 --> 01:28:17,588 THERE'S A TRADITION THAT SAYS 1864 01:28:17,672 --> 01:28:21,009 I HAVE TO KISS THIS GIRL ON THE LIPS. 1865 01:28:21,092 --> 01:28:22,760 SHE'S JUST UPHOLDING THE LAW. 1866 01:28:22,844 --> 01:28:27,598 IT'S A FEDERAL LAW, NOT JUST A STATE THING. I-- 1867 01:28:27,682 --> 01:28:29,058 OOOOH! 1868 01:28:29,142 --> 01:28:30,310 HEY, FRANKIE. WHOA! 1869 01:28:30,352 --> 01:28:31,686 WHOA! 1870 01:28:31,769 --> 01:28:33,271 ( applause ) 1871 01:28:33,355 --> 01:28:35,982 - YEAH! - I LOVE IT! 1872 01:28:36,024 --> 01:28:37,359 COME ON, FRANK. 1873 01:28:37,441 --> 01:28:38,776 HUH! 1874 01:28:38,860 --> 01:28:40,528 MR. CUMMINGS. 1875 01:28:40,569 --> 01:28:43,156 BOY, THAT WAS VERY GOOD, 1876 01:28:43,198 --> 01:28:44,573 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 1877 01:28:44,657 --> 01:28:47,201 IT WASN'T GREAT. 1878 01:28:47,285 --> 01:28:50,914 THERE HAS ONLY BEEN ONE GREAT. 1879 01:28:50,997 --> 01:28:54,084 THERE IS A GIRL THAT I WISH I WERE WITH TONIGHT, 1880 01:28:54,167 --> 01:28:59,297 AND IT'S A GIRL THAT I LOVED A LONG TIME AGO. 1881 01:28:59,381 --> 01:29:01,632 A GIRL THAT I STILL LOVE. 1882 01:29:01,716 --> 01:29:06,512 IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IS IT? 1883 01:29:06,554 --> 01:29:08,223 CLAIRE, DO YOU REMEMBER-- 1884 01:29:08,306 --> 01:29:11,517 ( audience cheering ) 1885 01:29:11,559 --> 01:29:13,477 LEGS AROUND LIKE THIS, THEN THIS THING HERE. 1886 01:29:13,561 --> 01:29:15,355 YOU CIRCLED ME CHANTING, BURNING INCENSE, 1887 01:29:15,397 --> 01:29:16,731 BEFORE WE BEGAN. 1888 01:29:16,814 --> 01:29:19,401 ( laughter ) 1889 01:29:19,442 --> 01:29:21,236 TONIGHT I THINK WE COULD DO THIS 1890 01:29:21,278 --> 01:29:26,408 WITHOUT SERIOUS PHYSICAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE. 1891 01:29:26,490 --> 01:29:28,034 TAXI! 1892 01:29:30,453 --> 01:29:33,206 HOW FAST CAN WE GET TO THE IBC BUILDING? 1893 01:29:33,248 --> 01:29:34,749 WHICH FLOOR? 1894 01:29:34,832 --> 01:29:36,876 ♪ AH, DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY ♪ 1895 01:29:36,918 --> 01:29:38,711 ♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 1896 01:29:38,753 --> 01:29:40,088 ♪ TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY ♪ 1897 01:29:40,171 --> 01:29:41,589 ♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 1898 01:29:41,672 --> 01:29:43,425 ♪ DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL ♪ 1899 01:29:43,466 --> 01:29:44,926 ♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 1900 01:29:45,009 --> 01:29:46,719 ♪ TOLL THE ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL ♪ 1901 01:29:46,761 --> 01:29:48,638 ♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ 1902 01:29:48,721 --> 01:29:51,975 ♪ FA LA LA LA LA ♪ 1903 01:29:52,058 --> 01:29:54,518 ♪ LA LA LA ♪ 1904 01:29:54,602 --> 01:29:57,439 ♪ LAAAA ♪♪ 1905 01:29:58,315 --> 01:29:59,774 WE SHOULD BE TAPING THIS. 1906 01:29:59,857 --> 01:30:03,194 HA, HA, HA! 1907 01:30:03,278 --> 01:30:04,737 NOW, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 1908 01:30:04,779 --> 01:30:06,614 THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE! 1909 01:30:06,656 --> 01:30:08,450 I'M TELLING YOU! 1910 01:30:08,532 --> 01:30:10,827 I'M NOT CRAZY. IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE! 1911 01:30:10,910 --> 01:30:12,703 IT'S...IT'S THE ONE NIGHT OF THE YEAR 1912 01:30:12,787 --> 01:30:14,747 WHEN WE ACT A LITTLE NICER. 1913 01:30:14,789 --> 01:30:17,459 WE SMILE A LITTLE EASIER. 1914 01:30:17,541 --> 01:30:20,670 WE CHEER A LITTLE MORE. 1915 01:30:20,753 --> 01:30:23,298 FOR A FEW HOURS OUT OF THE YEAR, 1916 01:30:23,340 --> 01:30:27,469 WE ARE THE PEOPLE WE ALWAYS HOPED WE WOULD BE. 1917 01:30:27,510 --> 01:30:29,971 IT'S A MIRACLE. 1918 01:30:30,013 --> 01:30:32,015 IT'S REALLY A SORT OF A MIRACLE 1919 01:30:32,098 --> 01:30:34,476 BECAUSE IT HAPPENS EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE. 1920 01:30:34,517 --> 01:30:36,686 IF YOU WASTE THAT MIRACLE, 1921 01:30:36,769 --> 01:30:38,188 YOU'RE GOING TO BURN FOR IT. 1922 01:30:38,271 --> 01:30:40,190 I KNOW. 1923 01:30:40,273 --> 01:30:42,900 YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. TAKE A CHANCE. 1924 01:30:42,984 --> 01:30:44,652 YOU DO HAVE TO GET INVOLVED. 1925 01:30:44,735 --> 01:30:46,821 THERE ARE PEOPLE HAVING TROUBLE 1926 01:30:46,863 --> 01:30:48,323 MAKING THEIR MIRACLE HAPPEN. 1927 01:30:48,406 --> 01:30:51,575 SOME ARE HUNGRY AND COLD. 1928 01:30:51,659 --> 01:30:53,828 YOU CAN SAY HELLO TO THESE PEOPLE. 1929 01:30:53,870 --> 01:30:56,164 YOU CAN TAKE AN OLD BLANKET OR A SANDWICH 1930 01:30:56,206 --> 01:30:59,876 AND SAY, "HERE." 1931 01:30:59,959 --> 01:31:02,337 I...I GET IT NOW! 1932 01:31:02,379 --> 01:31:04,172 AND IF...IF YOU GIVE, 1933 01:31:04,214 --> 01:31:08,009 THEN THE MIRACLE CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! 1934 01:31:08,092 --> 01:31:09,886 IT'S NOT JUST THE POOR AND THE HUNGRY. 1935 01:31:09,969 --> 01:31:12,555 EVERYBODY HAS TO HAVE THIS MIRACLE! 1936 01:31:12,638 --> 01:31:14,682 IT CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU! 1937 01:31:14,724 --> 01:31:18,019 IF YOU BELIEVE, IT WILL HAPPEN, 1938 01:31:18,061 --> 01:31:19,937 AND YOU'LL WANT IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN TOMORROW. 1939 01:31:20,021 --> 01:31:21,731 YOU WON'T BE LIKE THOSE BASTARDS WHO SAY, 1940 01:31:21,814 --> 01:31:23,983 "CHRISTMAS IS A FRAUD." 1941 01:31:24,025 --> 01:31:25,193 IT'S NOT! 1942 01:31:25,276 --> 01:31:26,528 IT CAN HAPPEN EVERY DAY, 1943 01:31:26,569 --> 01:31:29,697 YOU'VE JUST GOT TO WANT THAT FEELING. 1944 01:31:29,739 --> 01:31:31,657 YOU'VE GOT TO BE GREEDY FOR THAT FEELING! 1945 01:31:31,699 --> 01:31:34,411 ( voice cracking ) YOU'LL WANT IT EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE, 1946 01:31:34,494 --> 01:31:35,828 AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. 1947 01:31:35,870 --> 01:31:37,955 I...I BELIEVE IN IT NOW. 1948 01:31:38,039 --> 01:31:39,957 I BELIEVE IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN FOR ME NOW. 1949 01:31:40,041 --> 01:31:44,295 I'M READY FOR IT, AND IT'S GREAT! 1950 01:31:44,379 --> 01:31:51,261 IT'S BETTER THAN I'VE FELT IN A LONG TIME. 1951 01:31:51,344 --> 01:31:54,055 I...I...I'M READY. 1952 01:31:54,097 --> 01:31:57,350 HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY. 1953 01:31:59,685 --> 01:32:02,688 LOOK! DID Y'ALL SEE CALVIN! 1954 01:32:02,730 --> 01:32:04,566 DID I FORGET SOMETHING, BIG MAN? 1955 01:32:04,648 --> 01:32:08,152 GOD BLESS US EVERY ONE. 1956 01:32:19,330 --> 01:32:21,624 AH! 1957 01:32:21,707 --> 01:32:23,918 ( laughter ) 1958 01:32:43,771 --> 01:32:45,607 OH, NO. LUMPY! 1959 01:32:45,648 --> 01:32:47,066 LUMPY, NO. 1960 01:32:47,108 --> 01:32:49,444 COME HERE. 1961 01:32:49,486 --> 01:32:51,404 YOU'RE LIKE BOATING A MARLIN. 1962 01:32:53,281 --> 01:32:54,616 CLAIRE, THE WHOLE WORLD. 1963 01:32:54,698 --> 01:32:56,534 THE WHOLE WORLD, CLAIRE. 1964 01:32:56,618 --> 01:32:59,287 YEAH! WHOO! 1965 01:33:02,123 --> 01:33:04,209 AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 1966 01:33:04,292 --> 01:33:06,211 AHH. 1967 01:33:07,170 --> 01:33:09,506 ( applause ) 1968 01:33:09,589 --> 01:33:11,841 ( soft theme playing ) 1969 01:33:11,924 --> 01:33:13,968 ♪ THINK OF YOUR FELLOW MAN ♪ 1970 01:33:14,052 --> 01:33:15,803 ♪ LEND HIM A HELPING HAND ♪ 1971 01:33:15,887 --> 01:33:19,807 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1972 01:33:19,849 --> 01:33:21,851 ♪ YOU'LL SEE IT'S GETTING LATE ♪ 1973 01:33:21,934 --> 01:33:24,020 ♪ OH, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE ♪ 1974 01:33:24,103 --> 01:33:27,440 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1975 01:33:27,482 --> 01:33:29,901 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 1976 01:33:29,984 --> 01:33:31,653 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 1977 01:33:31,736 --> 01:33:33,696 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 1978 01:33:33,779 --> 01:33:35,781 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 1979 01:33:35,823 --> 01:33:37,576 ♪ FOR YOU ♪ 1980 01:33:37,659 --> 01:33:39,911 ♪ AND ME ♪ 1981 01:33:39,994 --> 01:33:41,829 ♪ YOU JUST WAIT ♪ 1982 01:33:41,871 --> 01:33:44,666 ♪ AND SEE ♪ 1983 01:33:44,749 --> 01:33:46,668 ♪ ANOTHER DAY GOES BY ♪ 1984 01:33:46,751 --> 01:33:48,670 ♪ AND STILL THE CHILDREN CRY ♪ 1985 01:33:48,753 --> 01:33:51,881 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1986 01:33:51,964 --> 01:33:53,675 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 1987 01:33:53,758 --> 01:33:55,843 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 1988 01:33:55,927 --> 01:33:57,262 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 1989 01:33:57,345 --> 01:33:58,513 YEAH! 1990 01:33:58,597 --> 01:34:00,181 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 1991 01:34:00,265 --> 01:34:02,016 ♪ FOR YOU ♪ 1992 01:34:02,100 --> 01:34:04,269 - ♪ AND ME ♪ - HA, HA, HA. 1993 01:34:04,352 --> 01:34:06,396 ♪ JUST WAIT ♪ 1994 01:34:06,479 --> 01:34:08,981 ♪ AND SEE ♪ 1995 01:34:09,023 --> 01:34:10,942 ♪ ANOTHER DAY GOES BY ♪ 1996 01:34:11,025 --> 01:34:13,152 ♪ AND STILL THE CHILDREN CRY ♪ 1997 01:34:13,194 --> 01:34:16,989 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1998 01:34:17,031 --> 01:34:20,159 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1999 01:34:20,201 --> 01:34:21,202 ♪ HEART ♪ 2000 01:34:21,286 --> 01:34:25,540 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2001 01:34:25,582 --> 01:34:28,793 FEED ME, SEYMOUR. FEED ME. 2002 01:34:28,876 --> 01:34:30,044 COME ON. LET'S HEAR IT 2003 01:34:30,086 --> 01:34:33,715 FROM YOU FOLKS OUT THERE. COME ON. 2004 01:34:33,798 --> 01:34:35,216 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2005 01:34:35,258 --> 01:34:39,762 LET'S HEAR IT FROM THIS SIDE OF THE THEATER. 2006 01:34:39,845 --> 01:34:41,222 THAT'S NO GOOD. 2007 01:34:41,264 --> 01:34:44,016 LET'S TRY THE OTHER SIDE OF THE THEATER. 2008 01:34:44,809 --> 01:34:46,060 ALL RIGHT. 2009 01:34:46,102 --> 01:34:47,437 HOW ABOUT JUST THE MEN? 2010 01:34:47,520 --> 01:34:49,772 COME ON, JUST THE MEN. 2011 01:34:49,855 --> 01:34:51,899 OKAY. LET'S HEAR THE REAL MEN. 2012 01:34:54,068 --> 01:34:58,573 OKAY. THE WOMEN THIS TIME. 2013 01:34:58,615 --> 01:35:01,493 THE REAL WOMEN. 2014 01:35:01,576 --> 01:35:03,869 YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 2015 01:35:03,911 --> 01:35:05,497 NOW, YOU WHO WAS MAKING ALL THE NOISE 2016 01:35:05,580 --> 01:35:06,706 THROUGH THE WHOLE MOVIE. 2017 01:35:06,748 --> 01:35:09,250 MY BROTHER, THE KING OF CHRISTMAS. 2018 01:35:21,184 --> 01:35:23,520 ♪ THINK OF YOUR FELLOW MAN ♪ 2019 01:35:23,562 --> 01:35:26,356 ♪ LEND HIM A HELPING HAND ♪ 2020 01:35:26,440 --> 01:35:30,485 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2021 01:35:30,527 --> 01:35:32,821 ♪ YOU'LL SEE IT'S GETTING LATE ♪ 2022 01:35:32,863 --> 01:35:35,616 ♪ OH, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE ♪ 2023 01:35:35,699 --> 01:35:39,244 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2024 01:35:39,327 --> 01:35:41,455 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2025 01:35:41,538 --> 01:35:44,291 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2026 01:35:44,374 --> 01:35:46,418 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2027 01:35:46,501 --> 01:35:49,046 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2028 01:35:49,087 --> 01:35:51,131 ♪ FOR YOU ♪ 2029 01:35:51,214 --> 01:35:53,383 ♪ AND ME ♪ 2030 01:35:53,425 --> 01:35:55,928 ♪ YOU JUST WAIT ♪ 2031 01:35:56,011 --> 01:35:58,055 ♪ AND SEE ♪ 2032 01:35:58,096 --> 01:35:59,389 ♪ HEE HEE ♪ 2033 01:35:59,431 --> 01:36:01,725 ♪ ANOTHER DAY GOES BY ♪ 2034 01:36:01,809 --> 01:36:04,311 ♪ AND STILL THE CHILDREN CRY ♪ 2035 01:36:04,394 --> 01:36:08,732 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2036 01:36:08,816 --> 01:36:11,234 ♪ YOU WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW ♪ 2037 01:36:11,276 --> 01:36:13,570 ♪ WE WON'T LET HATRED GROW ♪ 2038 01:36:13,611 --> 01:36:17,324 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2039 01:36:17,407 --> 01:36:19,576 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2040 01:36:19,660 --> 01:36:21,996 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2041 01:36:22,079 --> 01:36:24,247 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2042 01:36:24,289 --> 01:36:26,750 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2043 01:36:26,834 --> 01:36:29,127 ♪ FOR YOU ♪ ♪ FOR YOU ♪ 2044 01:36:29,210 --> 01:36:31,505 ♪ AND ME ♪ ♪ AND ME ♪ 2045 01:36:31,588 --> 01:36:34,091 ♪ YOU JUST WAIT ♪ ♪ JUST WAIT ♪ 2046 01:36:34,174 --> 01:36:36,259 ♪ AND SEE ♪ 2047 01:36:36,301 --> 01:36:38,595 ♪ WAIT AND SEE ♪ 2048 01:36:42,057 --> 01:36:44,518 ♪ TAKE A GOOD LOOK AROUND ♪ 2049 01:36:44,601 --> 01:36:46,186 ♪ AND IF YOU'RE LOOKIN' DOWN ♪ 2050 01:36:46,269 --> 01:36:47,604 ♪ WHOA-O ♪ 2051 01:36:47,688 --> 01:36:49,857 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2052 01:36:49,940 --> 01:36:51,274 ♪ YEAH YEAH ♪ 2053 01:36:51,357 --> 01:36:54,194 ♪ I HOPE WHEN YOU DECIDE ♪ 2054 01:36:54,277 --> 01:36:55,779 ♪ KINDNESS WILL BE YOUR GUIDE ♪ 2055 01:36:55,821 --> 01:36:57,196 ♪ WHOA-OH ♪ 2056 01:36:57,280 --> 01:36:59,783 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2057 01:36:59,825 --> 01:37:02,410 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2058 01:37:02,452 --> 01:37:04,663 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2059 01:37:04,746 --> 01:37:07,248 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2060 01:37:07,290 --> 01:37:09,585 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2061 01:37:09,625 --> 01:37:11,670 ♪ FOR YOU ♪ ♪ FOR YOU ♪ 2062 01:37:11,754 --> 01:37:14,006 ♪ AND ME ♪ ♪ AND ME ♪ 2063 01:37:14,090 --> 01:37:16,967 ♪ YOU JUST WAIT ♪ ♪ JUST WAIT ♪ 2064 01:37:17,051 --> 01:37:18,969 ♪ AND SEE ♪ 2065 01:37:19,053 --> 01:37:20,386 ♪ OH OH OH ♪ 2066 01:37:20,470 --> 01:37:23,473 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2067 01:37:23,515 --> 01:37:25,225 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE NOW ♪ 2068 01:37:25,308 --> 01:37:28,437 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2069 01:37:28,478 --> 01:37:30,272 ♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST A... ♪ 2070 01:37:30,313 --> 01:37:32,482 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2071 01:37:32,524 --> 01:37:34,902 ♪ GOT TO BELIEVE ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT NOW ♪ 2072 01:37:34,985 --> 01:37:36,779 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2073 01:37:36,820 --> 01:37:38,906 ♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST A... ♪ 2074 01:37:38,989 --> 01:37:41,491 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2075 01:37:41,575 --> 01:37:43,119 ♪ GOT TO... GOT TO BELIEVE ♪ 2076 01:37:43,160 --> 01:37:44,494 ♪ THAT'S RIGHT NOW ♪ 2077 01:37:44,578 --> 01:37:46,163 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2078 01:37:46,246 --> 01:37:47,998 ♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪ 2079 01:37:48,040 --> 01:37:49,374 ♪ UH-HUH ♪ 2080 01:37:49,458 --> 01:37:50,918 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2081 01:37:51,001 --> 01:37:52,335 ♪ HEYYYY ♪ 2082 01:37:52,377 --> 01:37:54,004 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2083 01:37:54,088 --> 01:37:55,464 ♪ IN YOUR HEART, YEAH ♪ 2084 01:37:55,504 --> 01:37:57,257 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2085 01:37:57,340 --> 01:37:59,718 ♪ EVERY, EVERY DAY ♪ ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE NOW ♪ 2086 01:37:59,802 --> 01:38:01,762 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2087 01:38:01,845 --> 01:38:03,430 ♪ WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA ♪ 2088 01:38:03,513 --> 01:38:04,848 ♪ WON'T YA ♪ 2089 01:38:04,890 --> 01:38:06,809 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2090 01:38:06,850 --> 01:38:08,978 ♪ AH AH AH AH AH AH AH ♪ 2091 01:38:09,019 --> 01:38:11,188 ♪ WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA ♪ 2092 01:38:11,229 --> 01:38:13,190 ♪ WON'T YA ♪ 2093 01:38:13,231 --> 01:38:14,858 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE NOW ♪ 2094 01:38:16,693 --> 01:38:19,696 ♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST A... ♪ 2095 01:38:19,738 --> 01:38:21,698 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN ♪ 2096 01:38:21,740 --> 01:38:24,952 ♪ GOT TO EVERY DAY GONNA TRY TO ♪ 2097 01:38:25,035 --> 01:38:26,453 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN ♪ 2098 01:38:26,536 --> 01:38:29,539 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2099 01:38:29,581 --> 01:38:31,374 ♪ OH, THAT'S RIGHT NOW ♪ 2100 01:38:31,458 --> 01:38:33,669 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2101 01:38:33,710 --> 01:38:35,712 ♪ THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S RIGHT ♪ 2102 01:38:35,796 --> 01:38:38,256 ♪ UH-HUH ♪ 2103 01:38:38,340 --> 01:38:41,093 ♪ ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST A... ♪ 2104 01:38:41,177 --> 01:38:42,802 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN ♪ 2105 01:38:42,886 --> 01:38:45,430 ♪ GOT TO EVERY DAY, GONNA TRY TO ♪ 2106 01:38:45,514 --> 01:38:47,516 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN ♪ 2107 01:38:47,557 --> 01:38:49,518 ♪ WHAT I WANNA TRY TO DO IS ♪ 2108 01:38:49,559 --> 01:38:51,895 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN ♪ 2109 01:38:51,937 --> 01:38:55,732 ♪ HEY, PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2110 01:38:55,816 --> 01:38:57,067 ♪ YEAH ♪ 2111 01:38:57,109 --> 01:38:58,527 ♪ EVERY, EVERY DAY ♪ 2112 01:38:58,568 --> 01:39:00,320 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE NOW ♪ 2113 01:39:04,241 --> 01:39:05,867 ♪ TAKE A GOOD LOOK AROUND ♪ 2114 01:39:05,909 --> 01:39:07,119 ♪ WHOA-OH ♪ 2115 01:39:07,203 --> 01:39:08,829 ♪ AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING DOWN ♪ 2116 01:39:08,912 --> 01:39:10,288 ♪ WHOA-OH ♪ 2117 01:39:10,372 --> 01:39:12,166 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2118 01:39:12,249 --> 01:39:13,709 ♪ YEAH YEAH ♪ 2119 01:39:13,750 --> 01:39:16,294 ♪ I HOPE WHEN YOU DECIDE ♪ 2120 01:39:16,378 --> 01:39:18,672 ♪ KINDNESS WILL BE YOUR GUIDE ♪ 2121 01:39:18,755 --> 01:39:22,092 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2122 01:39:22,134 --> 01:39:24,511 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2123 01:39:24,594 --> 01:39:27,014 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2124 01:39:27,097 --> 01:39:29,391 ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ ♪ AND THE WORLD ♪ 2125 01:39:29,432 --> 01:39:32,186 ♪ WILL BE A BETTER PLACE ♪ 2126 01:39:32,269 --> 01:39:34,104 ♪ FOR YOU ♪ ♪ FOR YOU ♪ 2127 01:39:34,188 --> 01:39:36,439 ♪ AND ME ♪ ♪ AND ME ♪ 2128 01:39:36,523 --> 01:39:39,235 ♪ YOU JUST WAIT ♪ ♪ JUST WAIT ♪ 2129 01:39:39,276 --> 01:39:41,153 ♪ AND SEE ♪ 2130 01:39:41,237 --> 01:39:42,571 ♪ OH OH OH ♪ 2131 01:39:42,612 --> 01:39:45,323 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2132 01:39:45,407 --> 01:39:47,617 ♪ BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA ♪ 2133 01:39:47,659 --> 01:39:49,745 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2134 01:39:49,786 --> 01:39:52,622 ♪ A LITTLE LITTLE LITTLE BIT OF LOVE IN YOUR HEART, YEAH ♪ 2135 01:39:52,664 --> 01:39:54,291 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2136 01:39:54,332 --> 01:39:57,460 ♪ A LITTLE BIT OF LOVE A LITTLE BIT OF LOVE ♪ 2137 01:39:57,502 --> 01:39:59,296 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2138 01:39:59,337 --> 01:40:01,882 ♪ A GREAT BIG PIECE OF LOVE IN YOUR HEART, YEAH ♪ 2139 01:40:01,965 --> 01:40:06,678 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2140 01:40:06,762 --> 01:40:08,805 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2141 01:40:08,847 --> 01:40:09,973 ♪ DEE DEE ♪ 2142 01:40:10,057 --> 01:40:11,391 ♪ WHOA ♪ 2143 01:40:11,474 --> 01:40:12,976 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2144 01:40:13,060 --> 01:40:15,478 ♪ PUT THAT LOVE RIGHT IN YOUR HEART, YEAH ♪ 2145 01:40:15,562 --> 01:40:17,480 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2146 01:40:17,564 --> 01:40:19,149 ♪ ALL I WANT DO IS ♪ 2147 01:40:19,233 --> 01:40:20,483 ♪ ME AND YOU ♪ 2148 01:40:20,567 --> 01:40:21,944 ♪ AHH ♪ 2149 01:40:21,985 --> 01:40:24,196 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2150 01:40:24,280 --> 01:40:26,364 ♪ YEAH YEAH ♪ 2151 01:40:26,448 --> 01:40:28,158 ♪ OH YEAH ♪ 2152 01:40:28,242 --> 01:40:31,328 ♪ AND OH, YEAH ♪ 2153 01:40:31,369 --> 01:40:33,872 ♪ OH ♪ 2154 01:40:39,168 --> 01:40:42,256 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪ 2155 01:40:42,339 --> 01:40:44,258 ♪ OH, THAT'S RIGHT NOW ♪ 2156 01:40:44,341 --> 01:40:50,097 ♪ PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART ♪♪ 142313

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