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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,137
[Pal]
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,739
Congratulations,
Major Nelson.
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,140
| just got the word.
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,376
Washington has approved
your nomination
5
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,812
as the senior officer
on the Lunar Landing Project.
6
00:00:12,12 --> 00:00:13,614
Oh, yes, yes.
Thank you very much, sir.
7
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:14,915
Of course
it won't be official
8
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,617
until General Whetherby
approves you.
9
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:17,918
Uh, General Whetherby,
sir?
10
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:20,587
Yes, Pentagon liaison.
He's arriving today.
11
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:21,688
Ah.
Oh, but don’t worry.
12
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,123
The job is yours.
13
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,759
Unless of course
you foul things up
14
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,461
by doing something weird.
15
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,897
Heh. Weird? Me, sir?
[CHUCKLES]
16
00:00:30,97 --> 00:00:31,565
Please, Major Nelson.
17
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,800
Weird is the mildest word
| can think of
18
00:00:34,01 --> 00:00:36,470
to describe some of the things
you've done.
19
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:39,540
Although | must admit that, uh,
things have been pretty quiet
20
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,508
since you got engaged.
21
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,278
Well, getting engaged
does quiet a man down, sir.
22
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:47,614
Well, in your case,
it was long overdue.
23
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:48,715
Mmm.
24
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,920
Oh, that reminds me, uh,
your charming fiancée
25
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,421
is having lunch
with Amanda today.
26
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,925
Oh. Uh, Jeannie’s having
l-lunch with Amanda, sir?
27
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,493
Where?
Where would that be, sir?
28
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:00,894
At our house.
29
00:01:01,94 --> 00:01:02,462
What’s the matter with you,
major?
30
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,131
You look positively gray.
31
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,66
You know, | want to really get
to know you.
32
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,368
Well, how nice.
Yes.
33
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,838
Oh! Oh,
this Florida sunshine.
34
00:01:12,39 --> 00:01:14,374
Honestly, it is just turning
my skin to leather.
35
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,709
Really?
Oh, yes.
36
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,46
I’ve tried everything,
and nothing seems to work.
37
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,247
What do you use?
38
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,282
Oh, just regular
genie cream.
39
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,985
Genie cream?
No, I’ve never tried that.
40
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,119
Hello, Helen.
41
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,988
Well, i-it is
a special formula.
42
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,289
Oh.
43
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:32,526
Perhaps | have some
here with me.
44
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,164
| think you will find
this will help.
45
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:40,167
And you may keep it.
Oh, thank you, Je--
46
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,635
Oh, I’m going
to try it right away.
47
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,303
Oh, once in the morning
is all you need.
48
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,738
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye, Jeannie.
49
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,106
Tha-- Oh, for goodness...
50
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:47,741
[Pal]
51
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,409
Mmm.
52
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,613
Mmm. Feels better already.
53
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:55,749
Mmm.
54
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,386
Now, about that gift.
55
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,826
[Pal]
56
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,776
[Pal]
57
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,182
[Pal]
58
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,351
Well, general,
Major Nelson’s not a kid.
59
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:08,622
He, um, thinks creatively,
but he’s very mature.
60
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,323
He is, huh?
Um...
61
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,492
You'll, uh, see
when you meet him.
62
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,529
Old for his age,
wise and tough.
63
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,65
Married man, is he?
Engaged.
64
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:21,835
A tough, wise,
old, engaged man.
65
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,773
Huh? Oh, no, no,
| wasn’t worried.
66
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:27,774
| was just wondering
67
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,743
what Mrs. Bellows meant
when she said--
68
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:33,46
Oh, oh, | see. You gave her
a little jar of face cream, huh?
69
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:34,514
Well, that’s sweet.
70
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,584
Okay, darling. I’ll--
’ll talk to you later. Bye.
71
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,219
[Pal]
72
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,887
[WHISTLES]
73
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,263
Hello, major.
Hello.
74
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,00
Miss.
75
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:57,370
Oh, oh, make my wildest
dreams come true.
76
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,805
Tell me
you’re looking for me.
77
00:03:59,05 --> 00:03:59,873
Oh, Major Healey.
78
00:04:00,73 --> 00:04:01,575
You know my name.
You’re looking for me.
79
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,844
You’re beautiful. | mean,
you really are beautiful.
80
00:04:04,44 --> 00:04:05,846
Oh, well, thank you.
81
00:04:06,46 --> 00:04:07,781
If you’re not
doing anything tonight,
82
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,783
maybe we could get married.
83
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,886
Oh, Major Healey, you're a bit
strange most of the time,
84
00:04:13,86 --> 00:04:14,921
but today!
Strange? It’s fate.
85
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,590
A beautiful girl comes
walking down--
86
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,358
Major Healey.
You’re the most-- Wait.
87
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,360
Oh! Oh, miss.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
88
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:25,198
Tony, | just met a girl.
You can't--
89
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:27,00
| just met the girl
and I’m in love with her.
90
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,702
Again?
Oh, not again.
91
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,470
This girl makes Raquel Welch
look like--
92
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,239
Everett Dirksen?
Yeah. How’d you know?
93
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,307
You used that last week.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
94
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,976
No, no, | mean,
this girl is beautiful.
95
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,545
She’s a little young for me.
Yeah. Well, aren't they all?
96
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,313
What’s her name?
Oh, her name.
97
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,616
Well, she’s luscious,
she’s beautiful, she’s young.
98
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,886
Her name is, uh,
Amanda Bellows?
99
00:04:46,86 --> 00:04:47,821
Uh, Roger, really.
This is serious.
100
00:04:48,21 --> 00:04:49,790
I-- | got to finish this report.
No, | mean it.
101
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,258
| saw this girl
in the hallway,
102
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,727
and she dropped this badge.
103
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,262
Are you sure?
I’m sure.
104
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,763
I've never been wrong
about women.
105
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:57,898
What do you think it means?
106
00:04:58,98 --> 00:05:00,100
It means we better find
the girl of your dreams.
107
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,601
| think we've got
an impostor here.
108
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,204
No. This girl's too pretty.
She can’t be an impostor.
109
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,72
Was she out this--?
Out this way.
110
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:09,609
Which way’d she go?
ROGER: Down there.
111
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,711
[Pal]
112
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,618
Tony.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
113
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,920
Yeah. Is that her?
114
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,721
Yeah. Don’t worry about it.
It was my goof.
115
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,691
I'll do the interrogation.
No, no, no.
116
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,394
Excuse me, miss.
My name's Anthony Nelson.
117
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,563
|, uh-- | understand
you were wearing this.
118
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,31
Would you tell me
where you got it?
119
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,966
Very funny, Major Nelson.
120
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,368
Now would someone
let me in on the joke?
121
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,537
Whoever she’s working for
knows how to pick ‘em.
122
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,39
She sure sounds
like Mrs. Bellows.
123
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,474
lam Mrs. Bellows!
124
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,279
Roger, | have a sick feeling.
125
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,816
Me too. | think the girl
I’m in love with is a spy.
126
00:05:50,16 --> 00:05:51,284
Huh?
Don’t worry, darling.
127
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,753
lll get you the best lawyers.
’ll stick by you to the end.
128
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,55
Major Nelson,
get him off me!
129
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,123
Roger, take
your hands off of her.
130
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,426
Uh, could you tell me where you
were about an hour ago?
131
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,695
Well, having lunch with
your fiancée. You know that.
132
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,164
You called
right after she left.
133
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,899
Di-- Uh--
Did she give you anything?
134
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,103
Well, yes.
A jar of face cream. Why?
135
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,505
Roger, take your hands
off Mrs. Bellows.
136
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,174
What would | want
with Mrs. Bellows?
137
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,76
I’m in love with her.
Ohl!
138
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,412
Roger, this is Mrs. Bellows.
I’m sorry, Mrs. Bellows.
139
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,415
This is-- Jeannie gave her
some face cream. You understand?
140
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,84
Face cream!
Face cream?
141
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,586
Oh, I’m not sure, but I--
| think I’m heartbroken.
142
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:28,955
Excuse me.
143
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,57
[AMANDA YELLING]
144
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,626
I’m sorry about this,
Mrs. Bellows.
145
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,227
Not half as sorry
as you're going to be
146
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,862
when my husband hears
about this!
147
00:06:36,62 --> 00:06:36,963
Jeannie,
listen to me.
148
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,632
| don't have time
to answer questions.
149
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,333
You get over here just
as soon as you can.
150
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,334
Ah!
BELLOWS: Nelson!
151
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,336
Here.
AMANDA: Oh, Alfred!
152
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:44,504
Help!
153
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,311
Major Healey,
were you leaning on that door?
154
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:52,946
No, sir.
| was just leaving.
155
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,14
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
156
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,849
What’s going on here?
157
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,819
Major Nelson.
158
00:07:00,20 --> 00:07:01,354
Ah!
159
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,723
No. Ah. Mmm.
160
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,461
| can explain all this, sir.
Somehow.
161
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:13,400
That’s the mature, stable,
engaged man you recommended?
162
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,403
Stand aside.
163
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,141
[AMANDA GRUNTING]
164
00:07:24,10 --> 00:07:25,145
[TONY YELLS]
165
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,484
| knew something weird
would happen.
166
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,654
I’m beginning to wonder about
your maturity, doctor.
167
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:35,956
Hold on. Uh, general.
168
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,958
| just wanted
to tell you that...
169
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,259
Good afternoon,
Dr. Bellows.
170
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,328
Oh, uh, | wouldn’t come in here
if | were you.
171
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,396
Why not?
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
172
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:44,531
Oh, hello. Heh.
173
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,433
Oh, what is in the closet,
Major Healey?
174
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,802
Oh, I--
| can’t watch this.
175
00:07:49,02 --> 00:07:51,438
Dr. Bellows, | can explain.
Dr. Bellows-- Oh!
176
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:53,940
[GIGGLES]
177
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:54,941
Oh!
178
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,876
[SCREAMS]
179
00:07:57,77 --> 00:07:58,144
No! It’s not--
180
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,947
Oh, Anthony! How could you?
181
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,950
See, | can
explain this.
182
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,486
| can explain this. | can expl--
Wait, Jeannie!
183
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:07,887
Oh, Mrs. Bellows,
I’m so sorry.
184
00:08:08,88 --> 00:08:11,324
Oh.
Darling, oh, | love you.
185
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:14,828
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Mrs. Bellows, wait a second!
186
00:08:15,28 --> 00:08:17,230
Is it something | said?
Mrs. Bellows?
187
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,300
TONY:
Jeannie.
Jeannie! Stop!
188
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,335
This whole thing was
your fault anyway.
189
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,04
My fault?
Yes.
190
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,639
Oh! Oh, master--
191
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,441
Now-- Now-- Now--
Shh! Don’t.
192
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:29,743
Oh, oh, pardon me, sir.
193
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,745
You donated to the Serviceman’s
Pension Plan?
194
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,80
No-- No, | haven't.
Jeannie, look, look.
195
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,483
Don’t blink, don’t blink!
Oh, | can’t help it, sir.
196
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,985
See, | have this astigmatism.
You have no reason to be mad.
197
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,687
Where are you?
Oh, I’m not mad. I’m not.
198
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,389
Sometimes my enthusiasm
gets in the way
199
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,890
and make people think
it’s anger.
200
00:08:44,90 --> 00:08:46,59
And it’s really not anger
at all.
201
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,227
[MUTTERING]
202
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,829
But, general,
you don’t understand.
203
00:08:50,30 --> 00:08:51,765
That was not
the Major Nelson | know.
204
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,901
And you call that--
That cloakroom Casanova mature?
205
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,836
Well, he is.
| mean, he was.
206
00:08:57,37 --> 00:08:58,71
But you must understand.
207
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,406
| would never recommend
a man
208
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,474
capable of that kind
of behavior.
209
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,843
[SOBBING]
Oh. Oh, Alfred. Oh!
210
00:09:04,44 --> 00:09:05,979
Oh, you wouldn't, huh?
211
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:10,850
Oh!
Young woman,
if you don’t mind...
212
00:09:11,51 --> 00:09:12,786
Well, what’s the matter?
213
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,955
Aren't you even going to ask me
what | was doing in that closet?
214
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,292
Well, it was quite evident,
uh, Miss, uh...
215
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,195
Oh, now you’re going
to pretend you don't know me.
216
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,598
Well, I’m sorry, miss, but I--
| really don't.
217
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,234
Oh.
218
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,203
| hope | wake up soon.
219
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:34,707
|-- |-- | hate this dream!
220
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,977
[SOBBING]
221
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,779
| suppose you're going
to tell me
222
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:43,516
you've never seen that, uh,
busy young beauty before.
223
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:46,119
That’s exactly what
I’m going to say.
224
00:09:48,88 --> 00:09:51,891
But, uh, it seems I--
I’ve heard that voice before.
225
00:09:52,92 --> 00:09:55,161
She sounds exactly like my wife.
226
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:58,531
Oh, yes.
That's always the way it is.
227
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,00
They run away from their wives
228
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,703
and then they find another one
exactly the same.
229
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,71
Me?
230
00:10:06,05 --> 00:10:09,175
Shame on you...Bellows.
231
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:10,477
Good heavens.
232
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,879
[Pal]
233
00:10:13,79 --> 00:10:14,814
[CHUCKLING]
You old goat.
234
00:10:15,14 --> 00:10:17,350
| didn’t know
you had it in you.
235
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,20
But jumping cannonballs,
man, not in public!
236
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,424
But--
237
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,930
| checked the parking lot.
Mrs. Bellows must've gone home.
238
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,332
Okay. Uh, get over
to the house
239
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,900
and keep her from looking
in mirrors
240
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,502
until Jeannie
straightens this out.
241
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:36,803
Right, right.
And, Roger.
242
00:10:37,03 --> 00:10:38,37
Yeah?
[STAMMERING]
243
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,439
Remember,
try to find the cream.
244
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,74
Right. Yeah?
Roger.
245
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,310
Try to remember
it's Mrs. Bellows.
246
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,945
Roger!
Yeah...
247
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:51,117
Oh, hello, Dr. Bellows.
248
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,620
Uh, | want to explain about
what-- What went on back there.
249
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,22
You see, one of the secretaries
got, uh, a cinder
250
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,24
in her, um, contact lens,
and I-I was trying to--
251
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,627
Save it for later,
Major Nelson.
252
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,295
Four o'clock, my house.
253
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,763
General Whetherby
will be there.
254
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,598
And make it believable,
will you?
255
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,433
Yeah.
[SIGHS]
256
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,702
But you don't want to hear
about the secretary, then?
257
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,404
Uh, w-with--
With a cinder in her--
258
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,240
This has been
a very strange day.
259
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,341
[GRUNTS]
260
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,443
[Pal]
261
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,750
[Pal]
262
00:11:26,85 --> 00:11:28,755
You and Amanda Bellows?
No.
263
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,256
You and Amanda Bellows.
264
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,759
You gave her that genie cream
and you made her look like a--
265
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,427
A glamorous jet-set debutante.
266
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:35,962
Oh, dear.
267
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:37,430
Oh, dear.
Well, i-it is true.
268
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,531
Genie cream will change
269
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,300
a person’s appearance
if they wish it.
270
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,435
Would you turn Mrs. Bellows
back the way she was?
271
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,771
Oh, yes, master.
272
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:48,141
Oh, heh, well, I-l cannot.
273
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,144
Well, y-you see, the spell
is not on Mrs. Bellows.
274
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,412
It is in the cream.
275
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,514
Well, then change the cream.
276
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,250
| Know. | know, master!
277
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,85
| will blink an antidote.
278
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,622
Heh-heh. Here it is, master.
Thank you.
279
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,124
| hope it works.
Yeah. | hope so too.
280
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:06,793
Now, the next thing
| want you to do--
281
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,262
Is stay in my bottle
so that | will not get you
282
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,297
into anymore trouble.
Absolutely right.
283
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,233
Will you let me out of here?
Yes, master.
284
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,335
[Pal]
285
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,239
[SIGHS]
286
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:21,774
Hm.
287
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,409
It will work.
288
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,312
[Pal]
289
00:12:32,51 --> 00:12:33,52
[SNIFFLES]
290
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,690
[SOBBING]
291
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,805
[SCREAMS]
Oh!
292
00:12:53,06 --> 00:12:54,407
You.
293
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,309
What are you doing here?
294
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,811
Alfred, what’s wrong?
295
00:12:59,12 --> 00:13:01,814
Young woman,
you have me confused
296
00:13:02,15 --> 00:13:03,249
with someone else.
297
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,84
| hate to say this,
but | think one of us
298
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,986
needs a psychiatrist fast.
299
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,788
[DOORBELL RINGS]
300
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,356
But, Alfred,
what are you doing?
301
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,892
Hiding you from my wife.
But | am your wife.
302
00:13:13,92 --> 00:13:14,894
You'll never convince her
of that.
303
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,533
[SIGHS]
Oh, hi, Dr. Bellows.
304
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,903
Uh, Major Healey,
what can | do for you?
305
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,506
Oh, uh, uh--
Oh, nothing special, sir.
306
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,808
Uh, uh, oh, | was, uh--
307
00:13:29,08 --> 00:13:32,78
| was wondering if you’d like
to buy a ticket for the, uh, oh,
308
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,881
for the Astronaut’s, uh,
Relief, uh, uh, Fund Ball.
309
00:13:35,81 --> 00:13:37,216
No, Major Healey,
| don’t want any tickets.
310
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,85
Now would you kindly leave?
311
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,287
AMANDA:
Alfred, let me out of here.
312
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,457
There’s someone at your closet.
Do you want to get that, sir?
313
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,25
AMANDA:
Alfred, | am your wife!
314
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,127
[AMANDA YELLING
INDISTINCTLY]
315
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,266
[DOOR OPENS]
316
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,135
Oh. Dr. Bellows,
I’m shocked.
317
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,970
It's a mistake, major.
318
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,172
I’m getting out of here.
319
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,640
You're crazy.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
320
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,542
Wait a minute.
I'll take care of it. This way.
321
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,77
To the bedroom.
No! Oh, no!
322
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,46
No, no, no, no, no, wait.
You take care of her.
323
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:08,915
I'll go and see
if the coast is clear. Oh.
324
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:12,418
The coast is clear?
In my bedroom?
325
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,687
[GLASS SHATTERING]
326
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,55
You’re all mad.
327
00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,624
And | Know what’s happened.
It’s germ warfare.
328
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,226
They've destroyed
your minds.
329
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,527
The coast is clear.
330
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,63
[Pal]
331
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:26,199
Major Healey,
what was that crash?
332
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,235
Oh, uh, uh, s-sonic boom, sir.
Terrible problem.
333
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,04
Oh. Uh, why are we
taking you in here?
334
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,840
| want her out of here,
out of my life.
335
00:14:34,40 --> 00:14:36,309
Oh, Alfred.
Yes, sir. We all do.
336
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,610
[DOORBELL RINGS]
337
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,512
You get that, sir.
l’ll Keep her out of sight.
338
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,13
Thank you very much,
Major Healey.
339
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,449
| won’t forget this.
Major Healey. Ooh!
340
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,118
Get your hands-- Ooh!
341
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,987
Oh, oh! Oh! Not in there!
342
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,722
There are mirrors
in there.
343
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,125
Oh, hello, Dr. Bellows.
344
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,327
Uh, Major Nelson,
you're a bit early.
345
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,695
[GLASS SHATTERING]
346
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,331
What is he doing
in there?
347
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,333
Uh, who would that be, sir?
Uh, Major Healey.
348
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,101
It sounds like
he’s breaking mirrors.
349
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,704
lll check on it.
Oh, no, no. Wait. Wait.
350
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:05,705
[GLASS SHATTERING]
351
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:06,939
Oh...
352
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,775
He'll never believe me.
353
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,844
No one will ever believe me.
354
00:15:12,44 --> 00:15:13,312
[AMANDA YELPS]
355
00:15:14,80 --> 00:15:15,748
Oh. Hello, Mrs. Bellows.
356
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,717
It's gonna be all right
in a couple of minutes.
357
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,186
You stay away from me. You’re
as crazy as the rest of ’em.
358
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,688
Huh? Oh, excuse me.
[GLASS SHATTERING]
359
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,123
TONY:
Roger!
360
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,961
He knows it’s me.
He knows who | am.
361
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,431
| had to break them all.
She started to look into them.
362
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:32,698
Maybe this is the one,
huh?
363
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:36,469
All right, hang on to it.
Here’s the antidote. Shh.
364
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,970
[SOFTLY]
Here’s the antidote.
365
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,972
All we have to do is get it
on Mrs. Bellows’ face.
366
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,542
Okay? Now, here, take that.
And don’t mix ’em up.
367
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,144
ROGER:
| won't.
368
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,979
Mrs. Bellows!
369
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,681
[Pal]
370
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,917
ROGER:
Whoa, oh, oh.
371
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,85
Everything's gonna be
just fine.
372
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,55
BELLOWS: Major Nelson!
Uh, get that cream on her face.
373
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,358
Hmm?
Oh, hello, sir.
374
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,160
Oh, uh, Major Nelson,
375
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,962
General Whetherby is due here
any minute.
376
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,897
| want that woman
out of here before he comes.
377
00:16:05,97 --> 00:16:06,766
Roger's taking care
of that right now, sir.
378
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,168
But how? There’s no
outside door in the bedroom.
379
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:10,570
Uh, that’s-- That’s right.
380
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,338
No, that’s right. There--
Oh, no, wait.
381
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,273
Oh, forget about the general.
382
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,442
What if Amanda
should come home?
383
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,711
Well, | think there’s
little danger of that, sir.
384
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:21,547
Oh. Uh, uh, m-m-m-m--
385
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,249
Major. Ooh.
386
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:24,717
Funny place
to hang your jacket.
387
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,953
Yeah.
Ohl!
388
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,55
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[SCREAMS]
389
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,157
[Pal]
390
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,727
Wait, Mrs. Bellows.
Wait a minute.
391
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,963
| wanna talk, Mrs. Bellows.
Maniac!
392
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,231
No, Mrs. Bellows.
393
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,99
Mrs. Bellows, wait!
| don’t wanna hurt you.
394
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,101
| just want to smear
a little cream on your face.
395
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:43,469
In all my years
in the Air Force,
396
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,838
I’ve faced many dangers,
and I’ve never flinched.
397
00:16:46,38 --> 00:16:48,808
But if my wife found
that other woman--
398
00:16:49,08 --> 00:16:51,711
Oh, no. No.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
399
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,380
Oh.
You better pull
yourself together, sir.
400
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,481
Yes.
401
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,854
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
ROGER: Mrs. Bellows.
402
00:17:02,54 --> 00:17:05,658
Mrs. Bellows.
Miss...
403
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,860
Uh, Mrs. Bellows?
She-- She won't come out.
404
00:17:08,60 --> 00:17:10,396
Uh, uh, this is Major Nelson.
Please, let me in.
405
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,465
I-- | can explain everything.
406
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,101
[MOUTHING WORDS]
407
00:17:16,35 --> 00:17:18,304
Oh, uh, come in, general.
408
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:21,40
Come in, come in.
409
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,410
Oh, uh, Major Nelson’s
very anxious to explain
410
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,878
what happened at the base.
411
00:17:26,78 --> 00:17:27,847
Good. Where is he?
412
00:17:28,47 --> 00:17:29,148
Oh, he’s right over here.
413
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:33,886
[rl]
Oh, uh, he’s not here...yet.
414
00:17:34,86 --> 00:17:37,490
From the look of things,
doctor, neither are you.
415
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,91
| want you to know
what a great service
416
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,493
you've done
for your country.
417
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,328
| have?
Yes.
418
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,297
About what?
Yeah, ’bout what?
419
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,198
Well, there are
certain conditions in space
420
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,266
that affect perception.
421
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:48,601
Uh, for instance, we had to know
422
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,69
what would happen
to an astronaut
423
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,737
if he suddenly became
unrecognizable
424
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,39
to his fellow crewmates.
425
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,741
But why me?
Yeah, why her?
426
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,710
A very good question, Roger.
Thank you.
427
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,614
We needed someone who was
unaware that the experiment
428
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,816
was being conducted.
Oh, now, Major Nel--
429
00:18:04,16 --> 00:18:05,751
And also someone who was bright,
430
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,487
uh, intelligent, perceptive...
And beautiful.
431
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,823
And, of course, beautiful.
432
00:18:11,23 --> 00:18:13,59
Oh...
433
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,161
Well...
434
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,597
I’m glad
that | was some service.
435
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,232
But why didn’t Alfred
say something?!
436
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,601
Uh, top secret.
437
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,03
He’s been instructed not
to breathe a word of this. Ever.
438
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,805
Shall we conclude
with the experiment?
439
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:30,309
Roger.
440
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,981
The cream.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, the cream.
441
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,183
Uh... Oh, | think
it was the gray one.
442
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,684
No.
No, wait a minute.
443
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,820
| think it was the...
The red.
444
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,956
Which one is it, Roge?
445
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,591
I’m not sure.
446
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,793
But, major, is the experiment
still going on?
447
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,161
[WHIMPERS]
448
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,664
Oh, general, it’s very important
to us here at NASA
449
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,399
that Major Nelson head
this project.
450
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,468
You feel that strongly
about him, do you?
451
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,604
Oh, yes, sir, | do.
Well, he better show up soon.
452
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,974
Because, besides explaining what
he was doing in that closet,
453
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:05,778
I’m going to wanna know
why he’s so late.
454
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,47
Major Healey,
what are you doing?
455
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,348
| know
it's here someplace.
456
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:10,850
And while you're
explaining that,
457
00:19:11,50 --> 00:19:13,219
you can tell me why you've
been breaking all my mirrors.
458
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,754
Huh?
Oh, ooh!
459
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,222
Oh, oh, oh!
Whoops, whoops.
460
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:18,124
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
461
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,191
Good idea, Roge.
462
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,861
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
463
00:19:22,61 --> 00:19:23,863
Roger! Would you come over here?
Yeah. What?
464
00:19:24,63 --> 00:19:25,364
We're gonna have
to use all of ‘em.
465
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:26,532
Get the other jar.
Right!
466
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,34
Mrs. Bellows,
| wonder if you would
467
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:30,403
assist us in the latter part
of our experiment.
468
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,139
This is called
a tactile sensory exploration.
469
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,273
[CHUCKLES]
Oh. I--
470
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,908
Now, let’s try this.
Oh! Ooh!
471
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,209
Notice any difference in her?
472
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,811
No. She just looks
a little greasier.
473
00:19:39,11 --> 00:19:40,46
Huh?
Greasier.
474
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,314
Get another one, another one.
Yeah, another one.
475
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,18
Oh. Oh, no.
476
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:47,453
[WHINING]
477
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,422
Do you notice anything? Huh?!
478
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,391
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
479
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,393
It worked!
480
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,262
It worked, Tony.
We did it. We did it!
481
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,797
Tony, we did it. Oh, it worked.
482
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,166
Tony. Tony. Tony.
483
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,701
Mrs. Bellows.
484
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,937
TONY:
Uh, there you are,
Mrs. Bellows.
485
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,539
Uh, you've been more
than helpful.
486
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,642
Our experiment in tactile
sensory exploration is over.
487
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,844
Not quite.
488
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:14,346
Oh!
489
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,818
That is tactile sensory revenge.
490
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,487
Mrs. Bellows. Oh...
491
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,355
Well, you've gotta admit
you had it coming.
492
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,990
Huh? Oh, thanks. Thanks.
493
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,860
Let me get a towel.
Oh...
494
00:20:28,60 --> 00:20:29,662
ROGER:
You okay?
495
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,964
Roge,
| was just thinking.
496
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,200
If | was 10 years younger,
| could handle this.
497
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,102
But Jeannie’s making
an old man out of me.
498
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,337
Now,
about General Whetherby...
499
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:40,439
[Pal]
500
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:43,242
Roge?
501
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,580
Roge, why are you looking
at me like that?
502
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:52,852
[Pal]
503
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,554
Roger, hurry, | can’t find it.
504
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,124
Jeannie, forget what he said
about staying home.
505
00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,425
Just get here.
506
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,560
In the Bellows’ bathroom.
507
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,430
That's right.
The bathroom.
508
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,599
Tsk. Oh.
509
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:19,445
Alfred, would you mind please
telling me what is going on
510
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,13
with the mirrors
in this house?
511
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:22,248
| don’t know, dear.
512
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,551
Major Healey seems to have a--
A thing about them.
513
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:28,387
Tell me, did you see anything
strange in the bedroom?
514
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:31,123
No. Just Major Nelson
and Major Healey.
515
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:32,558
Oh, but it’s all right,
dear,
516
00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:34,393
because | know
how to keep a secret.
517
00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:36,729
Bedroom?
Major Nelson in the bedroom?
518
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:38,464
| thought you told me
he wasn’t here yet.
519
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:42,201
Uh, well, he’s not, sir.
| mean, uh, not here.
520
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:45,771
Uh, | mean, uh...
521
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,673
[LAUGHING]
522
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:50,476
Jeannie, will you please
control yourself
523
00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:52,711
and blink another jar
of the antidote.
524
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:55,247
[LAUGHING]
Oh.
525
00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:57,183
I’m sorry, master.
[LAUGHS]
526
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,820
I’m so sorry,
but you look so funny.
527
00:22:01,20 --> 00:22:02,121
[LAUGHS]
Jeannie, please!
528
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,189
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh.
529
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:04,990
Major Nelson,
this is General Whetherby!
530
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:06,492
Will you come out here,
please?!
531
00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:08,27
Jeannie,
please.
532
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,363
[LAUGHING]
533
00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:13,732
Major Nelson, I'll give you
exactly five seconds
534
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:14,733
to get out here.
535
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:15,734
I’m a busy man!
536
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:18,103
TONY:
Calling me, sir?
537
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:19,805
Major Nelson, you get ou--
538
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:25,444
You were in there.
You-- You said--
539
00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:28,414
Uh, you said.
| s-- | said?
540
00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:31,684
Oh, | have said
all |am going to say
541
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:36,755
on this or any subject
for at least 24 hours.
542
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:38,57
TONY:
Oh, General Whetherby,
543
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,125
I'd like you to meet my fiancée.
This is Jeannie.
544
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:42,161
Whetherby’s the one
that found me trying to get
545
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,829
the cinder out
of the secretary’s eye.
546
00:22:44,29 --> 00:22:46,732
Oh, | am so happy
to meet you, general.
547
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:50,336
Isn’t it funny how the simplest
things can become misunderstood?
548
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,337
[LAUGHING]
Yes.
549
00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,339
Yes. Yes. |, uh--
550
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,875
Well, Major Nelson, | have
a feeling that I’ve be--
551
00:22:56,75 --> 00:22:57,877
I've been very wrong
about you.
552
00:22:58,77 --> 00:23:01,113
Nobody with a fiancée as lovely
and as charming as yours
553
00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:04,884
could possibly have done
what | saw you doing.
554
00:23:05,84 --> 00:23:07,52
It’s a perfectly
natural mistake, sir.
555
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,554
Come in and sit down,
Major Nelson.
556
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:11,490
| want to hear your ideas
on the Lunar Landing Project.
557
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:14,460
Heh-heh-heh. Don’t worry, sir.
She'll forgive you.
558
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:17,630
[Pal]
559
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,965
Amanda?
560
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:22,968
Amanda. What have | done?
561
00:23:28,73 --> 00:23:29,975
[Pal]
37439
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