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1
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[Pal]
2
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,248
TONY:
Roge, uh, could you hurry it up?
3
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,383
Dr. Bellows frowns
on two hour lunches, you know.
4
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:17,384
Tony, will you please?
5
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,686
I’m trying to make this shot.
6
00:00:21,54 --> 00:00:22,623
Psst. Psst. Master.
7
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,60
What are you doing here?
Get out.
8
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,763
Master, which would you prefer:
chicken, fish,
9
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:30,931
or saddle of yak for dinner?
10
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,432
| cannot make up my mind.
11
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,369
You came here in the middle of
all these people to ask me that?
12
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:36,837
Hey, | got ‘em now.
Seven to five.
13
00:00:37,37 --> 00:00:39,06
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Hello, Major Healey.
14
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,340
Roger...
15
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,509
Master, | would not have
bothered you here at work,
16
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,810
except that if you wish the yak,
17
00:00:44,11 --> 00:00:45,379
| must go to Tibet
for the saddle.
18
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,783
Major Healey,
it’s nearly 2:00.
19
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,451
Oh, well-- Well,
it's not me, sir.
20
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:52,452
I’m waiting for Tony.
21
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,187
| was just killing time.
22
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,290
Major Nelson, why are you
hunched over like that?
23
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,225
Some sort of, uh,
stomach distress?
24
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,460
No, no, everything’s fine, sir.
Nothing like that.
25
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:03,997
| was just tinkling
on the old ivories.
26
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,198
Oh, really?
Yeah.
27
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,700
| didn’t know
you played the piano.
28
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,135
Yeah, | can’t. | can’t. Uh...
29
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,470
|, un, took lessons
when | was a kid though.
30
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,973
Uh, play something for me.
31
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,875
TONY:
No, really.
l-| can’t, sir.
32
00:01:15,75 --> 00:01:16,777
| wish | could.
It'd be great, but...
33
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,445
It would be nice.
34
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,147
After--
After four years of lessons,
35
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,149
all | ended up with
was "Chopsticks." Ha, ha.
36
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,153
[PLAYING MOZART’S
"RONDA ALLA TURCA"]
37
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,815
[Pal]
38
00:02:41,61 --> 00:02:42,963
[Pal]
39
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,802
[FINISHES PLAYING]
40
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:53,73
Bravo! Bravol
41
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,908
| didn’t Know you
could play the piano.
42
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:02,15
Why, Major Nelson, that
was absolutely extraordinary.
43
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:03,817
And you said you couldn't play.
44
00:03:04,17 --> 00:03:05,318
| can't.
1-1 couldn't.
45
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,988
Well, I-I-l didn’t
know | remembered. Ha, ha.
46
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,256
ROGER:
Didn’t remember?
47
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,824
You didn’t even have any music.
48
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,694
Sir, if you'll excuse me.
49
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:14,895
Of course, major, of course.
50
00:03:15,95 --> 00:03:16,463
We'll postpone
our little meeting.
51
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,699
| can’t wait to tell
General Schaeffer about this.
52
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,267
I-l wish you wouldn't
do that, sir.
53
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:24,37
Major, you can’t hide
a talent like yours.
54
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:28,308
Why, I’m no critic, but,
uh, | haven’t heard music
55
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,744
played like this
outside of a concert hall.
56
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,379
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, well, thank you.
57
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:33,547
BELLOWS:
Oh, ah, captain,
58
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,248
about that meeting:
we'll postpone...
59
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,617
Tony, that’s not talent,
that’s genius.
60
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,685
You’re not too far wrong.
61
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,420
Look. Look.
62
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,889
Oh. Wh-whoa.
63
00:03:43,90 --> 00:03:43,890
Sorry.
64
00:03:44,91 --> 00:03:45,25
Major Healey.
65
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,860
Major Healey, be careful.
66
00:03:47,60 --> 00:03:48,695
Major Nelson’s
fingers are precious.
67
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,931
Uh, yes, sir,
watch out for all doors.
68
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,299
Careful with your hands.
69
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,601
You got to watch where
you're putting your hands--
70
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,769
| don’t see how you could
71
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,771
do a cockeyed like--
Thing like that to me.
72
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:58,805
You do not like music?
73
00:03:59,05 --> 00:04:01,07
Yes, of course.
l-- | love music.
74
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,375
| also like football,
75
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,444
but | don’t want you
to turn me into O.J. Simpson.
76
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:05,445
I’m sorry.
77
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,114
| just got through
telling Dr. Bellows
78
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,682
that | can hardly
play "Chopsticks"
79
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,783
and you turn me into a--
80
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,485
A Van Cliburn,
and Rudolph Serkin
81
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,253
and Charley Steinway,
for all | know.
82
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,387
Oh, no, master.
83
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,989
| would never do that to you.
Yeah.
84
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,91
| was there, remember?
And so was everybody else.
85
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:19,292
Oh, but you were not playing.
86
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,428
Well, who was, the--?
The Easter Bunny?
87
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,330
The piano.
Yeah-- l--
88
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,232
It’s like my fingers
had a mind of their own.
89
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,234
The piano?
Yes, master.
90
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,736
Do you realize what a great
burden of responsibility
91
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,772
it would be to have
that talent in your fingers?
92
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,141
The hours and hours
of drudgery in practice
93
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,443
in those sweet,
little darling fingers.
94
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:37,811
| would never do that to you,
95
00:04:38,11 --> 00:04:39,913
so | blinked
the burden on the piano.
96
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,249
Everybody who sits on the piano
could do what | did?
97
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,383
Oh, yes, master.
98
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,85
It has an enormous repertoire.
99
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,920
[LAUGHING]
l-- Yeah, well, blink it back.
100
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,823
Oh, yes, master.
Ha-ha. Back where?
101
00:04:50,23 --> 00:04:51,224
Not-- Not "where."
102
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,193
You blink it back
the way it was.
103
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,728
SCHAEFFER:
Slow down, doctor,
104
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,396
there’s nothing
in Major Nelson’s...
105
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,298
General Schaeffer.
Get out. Go on, out, out.
106
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,699
[YELLS]
107
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,02
You don't have
to believe me, general.
108
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,703
Ask Major Healey.
109
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,439
Ask any of the others
who were here.
110
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,775
In fact,
it was at that very piano.
111
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,815
Now, | admit it seems strange,
but he was telling me that
112
00:05:15,15 --> 00:05:17,851
the only thing he could
play was "Chopsticks."
113
00:05:18,51 --> 00:05:20,453
Then he sat down here, and he--
114
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,355
[TONY PLAYING PIANO]
115
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,890
I’m, uh...
116
00:05:24,90 --> 00:05:25,125
[CHUCKLES]
117
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,395
...SOITy, Sir.
118
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,764
When | get the urge to play,
| just can’t contain myself.
119
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,866
You see, general?
You see?
120
00:05:33,66 --> 00:05:33,967
You're right,
doctor.
121
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,236
He's--
He’s magnificent.
122
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:38,738
Major Nelson,
123
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,642
as of this moment,
| am taking you off
124
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,311
flying status.
Huh?!
125
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,414
You are going to make
a concert tour.
126
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:48,415
[SCOFFS]
127
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:49,516
Sir, I’m an astronaut.
128
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,351
| don’t know
anything about concerts.
129
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,119
[LAUGHING]
Perfect. Perfect.
130
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,488
He’s not only
brilliant, he’s modest.
131
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:59,226
Come along, doctor, we have
to get in touch with Sol Hurok.
132
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:00,360
Wait, doctor.
133
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,598
Uh, practice, major, practice.
134
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,199
Sir, w-wait!
135
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,301
[STAMMERS, CRIES OUT]
136
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,205
[Pal]
137
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,412
Jeannie.
138
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,15
Hello, master, darling.
Oh.
139
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,651
You are late.
Yeah. Of course I’m late.
140
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,820
| had to babysit
with that lunatic piano
141
00:06:27,20 --> 00:06:28,788
until everybody left.
142
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,290
Eh, what’s all that for?
143
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,791
It is my new gown
for your debut.
144
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:32,792
Do you like it?
145
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,161
Yeah, yeah, it’s great,
146
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,563
but I’m not gonna
have a debut.
147
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,765
Now, how did you know
about that, anyhow, huh?
148
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,400
Oh, Master,
Major Healey said that--
149
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,968
Hi, Tony.
150
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,637
What are you all
dressed up for, Roger?
151
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,138
How about that?
Does that grab you?
152
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,140
This is what all the
leading impresarios wear.
153
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,808
Came with the glasses
and everything.
154
00:06:49,09 --> 00:06:50,777
Will somebody please
tell me what’s going on?
155
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:51,978
Well--
Oh, watch the hand.
156
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,113
Oh, watch--
Watch it.
157
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,614
Well, they couldn't
get Sol Hurok,
158
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,683
so they had to settle for me.
159
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,952
Well, we've got you booked
in Pensacola, Annapolis,
160
00:06:59,152 --> 00:06:59,920
West Point--
161
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,554
Is it not exciting?
162
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,224
--the Air Force Academy
and Anderson, Indiana.
163
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,593
Uh, wh-what’s
in Anderson, Indiana?
164
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:10,330
| got a girl in that town.
Well, she'll just have to wait.
165
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:11,331
Now cancel everything.
166
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:12,732
Oh, but master--
167
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,68
But master, but master,
I’ve been on the phone all day.
168
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,603
| mean,
| got everything looked in.
169
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:17,737
Well, unlock it.
170
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,06
I’m not going
on any concert tour.
171
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,08
Oh, do not worry, master.
172
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,210
You will be a huge success.
173
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,646
| shall fix
every piano you play.
174
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,982
Jeannie, the only thing | want
you to do is blink the one
175
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,817
in the recreation room
back to normal.
176
00:07:31,17 --> 00:07:32,285
Oh.
177
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,688
Oh, well,
l-1 could not do that.
178
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:35,822
Jeannie, that’s an order.
179
00:07:36,22 --> 00:07:38,91
Oh, | did not mean
| would not.
180
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,793
It is easy enough
to put the music in,
181
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,695
but once it is in--
Heh.
182
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,30
--well,
it has to play itself out.
183
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,565
Oh, swell.
184
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,267
Listen, Jeannie,
what | want you to do--
185
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,969
l-| believe that
I-| shall go and--
186
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,337
And blink dinner.
187
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,139
Ah, great.
It’s all settled.
188
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,441
Ah, she can be my assistant
189
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,209
and she can blink
all the pianos you play.
190
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:57,644
And leave a trail
of magic pianos
191
00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:58,645
all around the country?
192
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,647
Use it. Use the head.
Think!
193
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,48
Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll--
194
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,217
We'll have to use the piano
in the recreation room.
195
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,219
Roger, I’m not using--
| told you, I’m not go--
196
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,220
I’m not playing.
197
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,922
Hey, now, wait a minute.
That might be--
198
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,590
Oh, that’s gonna
be good publicity.
199
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,459
That's great.
You'll be the only virtuoso
200
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,260
who plays concerts
on a little red spinet.
201
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,830
Great, great, great.
Roger. Roger?
202
00:08:17,30 --> 00:08:18,264
Don’t forget: be ready.
203
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,532
Pensacola tomorrow morning.
204
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:20,633
Careful with the hands.
205
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,736
[Pal]
206
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,706
There’s more than
one way to tune a piano.
207
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,643
[Pal]
208
00:08:49,95 --> 00:08:51,564
Careful, careful,
careful with the keyboard.
209
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:52,632
Careful, careful.
210
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,300
Oh, Tony,
do you have a couple dollars?
211
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,803
| want to tip the guys.
212
00:08:57,03 --> 00:08:58,04
[Pal]
213
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,373
Never mind, I'll get
the change from the cashier.
214
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,846
[Pal]
215
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,416
BELLOWS:
That’s terrible, major.
216
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,617
How did it happen?
217
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,118
Just carelessness
on my part, sir.
218
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,987
The-- | didn’t know
the stove was lit, and--
219
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,156
Well, it’s pretty painful.
| can’t move the hand.
220
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,158
Well, we'll have to cancel
the tour, of course.
221
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,226
It's obvious you can't
play the piano like that.
222
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,327
I’m kind of disappointed.
223
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,129
| was looking forward
to making the tour--
224
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,297
Oh, excuse me, Dr. Bellows.
225
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,498
Uh, the plane’s ready.
226
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,400
I’m afraid it’s all off, major.
227
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,469
Sorry, Roge.
Major Nelson
just burnt his hand.
228
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:30,970
Burned his hard?
You burned--
229
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,239
Oh, I’m sorry.
Come on over in the light here.
230
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,841
Look, | took first aid
in high school.
231
00:09:35,41 --> 00:09:37,444
Let me take a good look at it.
Wait. Wait a minute, Roger.
232
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,379
There’s nothing wrong
with your hand.
233
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,547
It’s a burned hand.
234
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,116
Oh. Yeah.
Oh, it’s burned.
235
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,417
Oh, sure. Yeah, it’s burned.
236
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,152
Terrible burn. A bad one.
Burny burn--
237
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,321
BELLOWS:
Just a moment, major.
238
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:49,923
Let the doctor
take a look at it.
239
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,24
Yeah.
240
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,261
There’s nothing wrong
with that hand.
241
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,130
Ah, w-well, actually,
one of the reasons--
242
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,65
Oh, | understand, major.
243
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,767
You're just too modest.
244
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,970
You can’t stand
the thought of being famous.
245
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,238
[CHUCKLES]
246
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,307
A few concerts
under his belt, he’ll be fine.
247
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,609
Well, uh, let’s go, maestro.
Uh, yeah-- Wait, Roger.
248
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,678
Roger, thanks.
I’m gonna remember you for this.
249
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,12
Thanks a lot.
250
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,13
[Pal]
251
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,281
[TONY CRIES OUT]
252
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,854
[CROWD CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
253
00:10:21,54 --> 00:10:22,922
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
254
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,881
[Pal]
255
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:55,588
Now, look, fellows,
this all may go over subtly--
256
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:56,823
Get ready.
257
00:10:57,23 --> 00:10:57,824
He’s coming.
258
00:10:58,24 --> 00:10:59,459
[ALL CHATTER INDISTINCTLY]
259
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,495
| couldn't possibly--
[ALL OFFERING CONGRATULATIONS]
260
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,299
BELLOWS:
Wait a minute. Wait, wait.
261
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,901
[ALL CHATTERING]
262
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,402
What’s this all about, sir?
263
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,905
Well, major, it’s just a
little gathering of your friends
264
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,674
and colleagues to show
you how much we appreciate
265
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,209
what you've done.
266
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,811
Well, thank you all very much,
but I’ve done nothing, sir.
267
00:11:19,12 --> 00:11:22,582
A New York debut
at Symphony Hall tomorrow night
268
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,751
and you Say it’s nothing?
269
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:26,719
Well, it’s certainly
been interesting,
270
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,922
| could say that,
but | want you all to know
271
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,90
that tomorrow night’s concert
is gonna be my last.
272
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,759
We all thought
it was a marvelous piece
273
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,861
of showmanship that you
played all your concerts
274
00:11:35,61 --> 00:11:37,764
on NASA’s own, uh,
battered red spinet.
275
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:41,668
But, uh, you’re beyond that now,
so, uh, we took the liberty
276
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,469
of getting rid of it
and replacing it with
277
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:48,841
the Major Anthony
Nelson Memorial Piano.
278
00:11:49,42 --> 00:11:50,09
Uh, please.
279
00:11:51,77 --> 00:11:52,11
[DRUM ROLL]
280
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,815
"Memorial" piano?
281
00:11:56,15 --> 00:11:57,617
Isn’t that--?
Isn’t that for dead people?
282
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,619
Stick around, Roge.
283
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,958
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
284
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,227
Major, play.
Huh?
285
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,528
Ha-ha,
that’s an order.
286
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,230
[LAUGHTER]
287
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,32
[SIGHS]
288
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,300
Well...
289
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,569
[CHUCKLING]
[KNUCKLES CRACK]
290
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,939
[PLAYING "CHOPSTICKS"
291
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:28,448
[PLAYING TUNELESSLY]
292
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,849
[CHUCKLING]
293
00:12:30,49 --> 00:12:31,851
[LAUGHTER]
294
00:12:32,51 --> 00:12:33,953
[ALL APPLAUD]
295
00:12:36,55 --> 00:12:37,457
Roger, how could you
let that happen?
296
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,425
Well, the piano was routed
for Symphony Hall.
297
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,594
Don’t you understand?
Tonight at 8:30 I’m gonna be
298
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:44,197
in Symphony Hall in front of a
full orchestra and packed house
299
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,466
and what am | going to do
without my little red spinet?
300
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,467
Play "Chopsticks."
301
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,735
Ha, ha, ha.
Funny, funny.
302
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,303
They're not gonna
think it’s funny.
303
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,804
| didn’t think
it was funny either.
304
00:12:52,05 --> 00:12:53,239
[GROANS]
305
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,909
What--?! What is this?
306
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,379
JEANNIE [MUFFLED]:
Master, master, open up.
307
00:13:00,13 --> 00:13:01,648
Agh. Jeannie.
308
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,318
[SIGHS]
309
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,722
Why can’t she
do anything simply?
310
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,591
Ah-ha. What do you think
you’re doing, huh?
311
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,759
What's the big idea?
312
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,427
Well, the drawer
closed accidentally
313
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,695
and | could not get out,
314
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:18,331
so | had to blink
the whole filing cabinet here.
315
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,199
| found it.
316
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:22,835
Let me see.
317
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,73
Uh, the Cocoa Beach Piano Sales.
318
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,541
Sixty dollar trade-in allowance.
319
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,410
That’s it. The red spinet.
Let’s go.
320
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:31,511
Oh, master, what about me?
321
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:32,578
The file cabinet.
Huh?
322
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:33,846
Blink it back.
Blink it back.
323
00:13:34,47 --> 00:13:35,48
Yes.
324
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,585
[Pal]
325
00:13:47,93 --> 00:13:51,497
TONY:
Twenty, 40, 60, 80,
100 cash on the barrel.
326
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,499
You want me to sell you
327
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,868
this rare and beautiful antique
328
00:13:56,69 --> 00:13:58,905
that my mother worked
and slaved to buy me
329
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,207
for only a hundred bucks?
330
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,678
Boy, talk about taking
advantage of a little kid
331
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,947
who's a member
of a minority group.
332
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,717
Please, little boy.
333
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,852
It is very, very important.
334
00:14:13,52 --> 00:14:15,221
How about a hundred dollars
and an eight-by-10 picture
335
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:16,222
of me in a space capsule?
336
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,358
JEANNIE:
Oh, lovely.
337
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,359
Okay...
338
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:20,827
um, a hundred
and 10 dollars, huh?
339
00:14:21,27 --> 00:14:23,896
Is that all a mother’s dream
means to you?
340
00:14:24,97 --> 00:14:26,65
Can you believe that?
341
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,134
Okay, 120, huh?
342
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,671
Come on, look at the paint job.
343
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,39
Look at the chassis.
344
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,675
All 88 keys
in perfect condition.
345
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,377
Whoa, no.
Ah, no, no, no.
346
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:38,778
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
347
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,13
[GROANS]
My fault. My fault.
348
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,182
I’m sorry about your hand.
Don’t be mad.
349
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,585
Little boy, be honest.
350
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,187
You do not really wish
to play the piano, do you?
351
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,690
No, but that isn’t going
to affect the price.
352
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,891
Now, if it was a trumpet,
353
00:14:52,91 --> 00:14:53,926
your anxious friends
wouldn't have a chance.
354
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,795
Oh.
A trumpet?
355
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,364
Yeah. That’s what | really
want to play,
356
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,400
but my mother says
it pushes your teeth in.
357
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,601
That’s all you got?
358
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,503
Yeah. And that leaves me flat.
359
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,71
Listen, about pushing
his teeth in,
360
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,472
maybe we could give him a...
361
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,40
Oh, yeah, you’re right.
362
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,381
Okay, 150 bucks. That’s
ab-absolutely rock bottom.
363
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:20,453
And a beautiful golden trumpet.
364
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,21
Oh-ho.
365
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,557
Wow.
366
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,792
Wow, mm-hm.
367
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,901
[PLAYING TRUMPET SKILLFULLY]
368
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,342
Great technique,
but no heart.
369
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,184
Okay. All set.
Uh, is the piano okay?
370
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,218
Oh, yes, master.
371
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,820
It is right here in my purse.
Huh?
372
00:15:54,20 --> 00:15:56,589
ROGER:
Oh, cute. It’s a baby spinet.
373
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,257
[CHUCKLING]
374
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,92
Oh, Jeannie, you better
get this bill of sale
375
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,794
back to Dr. Bellow’s files.
376
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,362
Oh, yes, master.
Immediately.
377
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,65
Oh, and now meet me
in New York at Symphony Hall,
378
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,434
my dressing room,
in exactly, uh, three hours.
379
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,635
Let’s synchronize watches.
380
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,304
BELLOWS:
Major Nelson, Major Healey.
381
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,573
The plane’s waiting!
You get out.
382
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,341
Well, maestro, all ready?
383
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,910
Yeah, he can’t wait
to get to the big city.
384
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,946
Are you going too, sir?
Well, of course.
385
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,748
| wouldn't miss Major Nelson’s
New York debut for the world.
386
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:23,749
Come on, hurry up.
387
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,184
Yeah. Well, uh--
388
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,854
Oh. Here, you carry this.
389
00:16:28,54 --> 00:16:29,222
It’s good for the fingers.
390
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,991
Yes, General Schaeffer,
I’m coming.
391
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,93
[Pal]
392
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,232
[GASPS]
393
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:47,473
Help!
Master, let me out, master.
394
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:50,309
[Pal]
395
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,780
[CROWD CHATTERING]
396
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,220
TONY:
Oh, look at the time.
397
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,292
Where is she, Roger?
It's almost 8:30.
398
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,493
Well, you know how women are.
399
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:08,494
They’re always late.
400
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,629
Yeah.
401
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,30
Well, she’s got the piano.
402
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,899
She has the piano.
403
00:17:13,99 --> 00:17:14,834
Well, she probably
put it somewhere on stage
404
00:17:15,34 --> 00:17:16,536
and is waiting
in the audience.
405
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,504
What is that thing
you're working on, anyway?
406
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,40
A bomb.
A bomb? A bomb?!
407
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,842
Well, it’s not
exactly a bomb.
408
00:17:23,42 --> 00:17:24,911
It’s kind of
a self-destruct mechanism.
409
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,279
I’m gonna
put it in the piano.
410
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,481
You're gonna-- What are you
talking about, Roger?
411
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:29,682
Well, you said this, uh--
412
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,384
You wanted this
to be your last concert?
413
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,785
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you what.
414
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,253
When you finish
your last number,
415
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,721
you take this
little switch here.
416
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,924
See? And you switch it on
and it starts ticking. See?
417
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,25
And in exactly 45 seconds:
418
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,293
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
419
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,128
No-- No more magic piano.
420
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,629
Roger, that’s really beautiful.
421
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,131
| know. Ha-ha.
Brilliant.
422
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,433
Will you get out on stage
and see if that piano is there?
423
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,702
You know, sometimes | think
you don’t appreciate me.
424
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,70
Roger, please.
Go on, will you.
425
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,139
Get out there.
All right, I’m going, I’m going.
426
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,941
| made the bomb
and you want me to get out.
427
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:59,45
JEANNIE [MUFFLED]:
Please, someone let me out.
428
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,347
My master needs me.
429
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:05,651
Oh, | had better do it myself.
430
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,820
Master?
431
00:18:08,20 --> 00:18:09,922
Whoo-hoo, master.
432
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,793
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
433
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:14,894
This way. This way.
434
00:18:15,94 --> 00:18:16,362
Is the piano all right?
Yes. Yes.
435
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:17,396
Don’t worry, major.
436
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,431
It’s all ready.
437
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,299
Oh. Thanks. Thanks.
438
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,802
[APPLAUSE]
439
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,581
[CROWD MURMURING]
440
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,318
Back. Back. No, no. No, no.
441
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:40,386
The piano isn’t here yet.
442
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:41,687
| know that.
What am | gonna do?
443
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,22
Stall, stall.
Stall?!
444
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:45,658
What do you mean--?
[APPLAUSE]
445
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,881
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS, MURMURS]
446
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:14,253
[CRIES OUT]
447
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,789
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
448
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:24,697
[CLEARS THROAT]
449
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,166
[PLAYS SOUR NOTES]
450
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:35,875
[CROWD CHATTERS]
451
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,218
Please, please.
452
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,319
Would you take the piano.
453
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,587
Thank you.
454
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:49,689
I’m sorry.
455
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,602
Not here.
My dressing room.
456
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:04,970
[SIGHS]
457
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,207
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]
458
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:09,575
[APPLAUSE]
459
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,777
Magic tricks?
460
00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,946
At Symphony Hall?
461
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,182
[CLEARS THROAT]
462
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,532
That’s the piano
from the recreation hall.
463
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,967
Where did he get that?
464
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,569
| can’t imagine.
465
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,704
| traded it in this morning.
466
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:47,813
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
467
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,330
[APPLAUSE]
468
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,35
Bravo! Bravo!
469
00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:44,203
Genius.
470
00:21:51,43 --> 00:21:52,411
[EXPLOSIVE TICKING]
471
00:21:58,617 --> 00:21:59,518
[FANFARE PLAYS]
472
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,302
[PLAYING CHOPIN’S
"THE MINUTE WALTZ" EXTRA FAST]
473
00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:36,322
[APPLAUSE]
474
00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:44,930
Why, he played "The Minute
Waltz" in 34 seconds flat.
475
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,666
[TICKING CONTINUES]
476
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,673
Oh, no. More. More.
477
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,610
Encore, encore, encore.
478
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,778
More, more.
479
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:05,451
[DISCORDANT NOTES PLAYING]
480
00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:08,754
[CROWD LAUGHS]
481
00:23:12,57 --> 00:23:17,263
| suppose the old piano
just couldn't take it.
482
00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:21,133
[GIGGLES]
483
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,372
[Pal]
31554
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