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1
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Time.
2
00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:50,725
Space.
3
00:00:52,475 --> 00:00:53,475
Reality.
4
00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,100
It's more than a linear path.
5
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:07,642
It's a prism of endless possibility,
6
00:01:09,933 --> 00:01:13,433
where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
7
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:19,142
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
8
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,267
I am the Watcher.
9
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,767
I am your guide
through these vast new realities.
10
00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:35,017
Follow me and ponder the question...
11
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:39,808
"What if?"
12
00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:55,892
For the win. This is it.
13
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,308
And this is it, for the win.
14
00:02:01,892 --> 00:02:04,183
For the win. This is it.
15
00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:06,558
For the...
16
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:10,350
Yes! First try.
Jane, you owe me 50...
17
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,183
Uh... Oh! Uh...
18
00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,975
Uh, Jane, Jane, Jane!
19
00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:15,808
It's beeping! It's doing the beeping!
20
00:02:17,225 --> 00:02:19,475
I need to talk
to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
21
00:02:19,558 --> 00:02:21,058
Because, if my data is correct,
22
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:22,868
I believe an alien invasion
is imminent and...
23
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:23,892
Hello?
24
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:28,142
Two years ago, the same anomaly
struck Star Alpha Icarus
25
00:02:28,225 --> 00:02:30,808
and the entire star dimmed
and then, poof, disintegrated.
26
00:02:32,058 --> 00:02:35,558
Yes, I know this is the Parks Department,
but isn't there something you can do?
27
00:02:35,642 --> 00:02:37,725
Talking about the end of the world,
my dude.
28
00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:44,725
They're here.
29
00:02:44,808 --> 00:02:47,308
We're too late. The invasion has begun.
30
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,308
- Holy moly!
- Oh!
31
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:00,850
Citizens of Midgard...
32
00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:05,808
...your dull lives are about
to come to an end.
33
00:03:05,892 --> 00:03:08,183
Prepare yourselves...
34
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:14,308
for the party prince!
35
00:03:17,683 --> 00:03:20,683
This is gonna be awesome. Whoo!
36
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,808
More than battles won or lost,
37
00:03:22,892 --> 00:03:25,683
it's relationships
that truly define a hero.
38
00:03:25,767 --> 00:03:28,058
The people who shape them, their stories.
39
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:32,600
Thor and Loki, a brotherhood
so strong and pivotal,
40
00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:34,808
it would change the fate of a universe.
41
00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:39,183
Their childhood taught Thor many lessons.
42
00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:41,808
But in another universe,
43
00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:46,017
instead of raising the Jotunheim prince,
Loki, as his own son,
44
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,433
Odin returned him to his people.
45
00:03:48,517 --> 00:03:52,433
Without his trickster brother
to keep things, let's say, lively,
46
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:55,558
Thor grew into a very different prince.
47
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,183
Rest, my love.
48
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:07,392
Allow the Odinsleep to restore
your body and soul.
49
00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:23,392
He's asleep. And, uh...
50
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:26,558
I'm off to my sister's
to celebrate the solstice.
51
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:30,142
Now, this is your first taste of kinghood,
my prince.
52
00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:31,517
I expect you to study,
53
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,100
read up on the Nine Realms
that you will one day rule.
54
00:04:34,183 --> 00:04:35,308
Of course, Mother.
55
00:04:35,392 --> 00:04:37,308
- No parties.
- Of course, Mother.
56
00:04:37,392 --> 00:04:39,600
Remember,
Heimdall will be watching.
57
00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:43,392
Wait, what? You can't be serious.
58
00:04:43,475 --> 00:04:44,558
Behave.
59
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,808
Oh, Heimdall, there you are.
60
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:56,767
Just off to study.
Books won't read themselves.
61
00:04:56,850 --> 00:04:58,142
But your mother said...
62
00:04:58,225 --> 00:04:59,850
Don't be such a wet blanket, Hogun.
63
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,892
Oh, guys, stop. My father has
ruled Asgard for centuries.
64
00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:05,826
And, look, the most interesting thing
that he's ever done is fall asleep.
65
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:09,850
He only cares about duty
and blah-blah-blah-blah responsibility.
66
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:13,058
Well, I'm not gonna be like him, right?
The boring king? Uh-uh.
67
00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:19,767
But Heimdall sees all.
If we try anything, he'll call Frigga.
68
00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,350
Oh, ye of little faith.
69
00:05:21,433 --> 00:05:23,600
We are going to the most backward,
70
00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:26,850
backwater planet that not even
Heimdall pays attention to.
71
00:05:26,933 --> 00:05:28,350
Alert the realms.
72
00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:32,600
Party on Midgard!
73
00:05:32,683 --> 00:05:34,225
Yes!
74
00:05:34,308 --> 00:05:35,642
Huzzah!
75
00:05:35,725 --> 00:05:38,142
To Thor, the party prince!
76
00:05:38,225 --> 00:05:40,368
- Welcome! Welcome, friends.
- Party prince!
77
00:05:40,392 --> 00:05:41,725
Enjoy the night.
78
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:42,808
Thunder hug.
79
00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:46,475
Here, have a drink.
It never runs out.
80
00:05:46,558 --> 00:05:50,392
You try to drink it all,
but you can't because it's magic! Huzzah!
81
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:54,225
Huzzah!
Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!
82
00:05:55,392 --> 00:05:58,058
Hollywood movies did not
prepare me for this.
83
00:05:58,142 --> 00:06:01,475
Shouldn't there be more lasers?
Probing? A flying cow?
84
00:06:01,558 --> 00:06:02,642
According to my data,
85
00:06:02,725 --> 00:06:05,892
the first extraterrestrial
to arrive was...
86
00:06:05,975 --> 00:06:07,767
Him?
87
00:06:13,975 --> 00:06:16,475
Huh. I expected him to look more like...
88
00:06:16,558 --> 00:06:20,183
Like what? E.T.? And less like
a hottie McScotty, beach body Ken,
89
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:23,808
old-school Abercrombie catalog?
I could go on. Let me.
90
00:06:23,892 --> 00:06:25,017
I'm gonna go talk to him.
91
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,850
I'm gonna make first contact
with an alien.
92
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:29,350
First? I think half the Strip
beat you to it.
93
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,017
You can make first contact with...
94
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,433
I don't know, that guy.
He looks like a loser.
95
00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:35,642
Ha! Big talk coming from a brunette.
96
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,683
I'm going. How do I look?
97
00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:41,475
Completely unprepared
for whatever happens next.
98
00:06:41,558 --> 00:06:42,975
Oh, do me, do me.
99
00:06:43,558 --> 00:06:47,350
Yes, you do me.
You do me, and you too.
100
00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:50,392
Oh, you guys really get me. Yes?
101
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,433
Huh? Oh.
102
00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:55,183
Oh, there you are, all the way down there.
103
00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:57,683
So tiny, I almost stood on you.
How are you?
104
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,225
I'm Dr. Jane Foster of Earth.
105
00:07:00,308 --> 00:07:02,475
Yeah, Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard.
106
00:07:02,558 --> 00:07:05,183
Uh, libations, crudité, baked goods?
107
00:07:05,267 --> 00:07:07,392
Mmm. Topaz, what do I always say?
108
00:07:07,475 --> 00:07:08,642
- I love cake.
- Mmm.
109
00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:10,767
Wait, wait, wait. You're Thor?
110
00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:13,475
As in Thor, the Norse god of thunder?
111
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:17,850
I don't know anything about horse gods,
but I do know how to bring the thunder.
112
00:07:17,933 --> 00:07:20,517
Uh... Okay, moving on.
113
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,517
Eighteen months ago,
Alpha Star Icarus died.
114
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,225
The astronomaly that preceded it...
115
00:07:25,308 --> 00:07:27,350
- ...happened again tonight.
- Don't drink too much.
116
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:29,142
- Or too little.
- Hey, thunder boy.
117
00:07:29,225 --> 00:07:31,350
What I'm asking is, was that you?
118
00:07:31,433 --> 00:07:35,100
Yes, Alpha Star.
Now, that was an excellent party.
119
00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:37,183
You know, we lost Fandral for three days.
120
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:40,017
Found him in a barn,
curled up next to a baby goat.
121
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,975
It was classic. Isn't that right, Fandral?
122
00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:43,975
I named him Gary.
123
00:07:44,058 --> 00:07:45,451
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah, goats!
124
00:07:45,475 --> 00:07:46,725
You killed a planet.
125
00:07:46,808 --> 00:07:49,517
Oh, what is that light box thing
you've got there?
126
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,392
Oh, it's magic. I love magic.
Did you build this all by yourself?
127
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:55,975
Excuse me? I happen to be
an astrophysicist with multiple PhDs.
128
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:59,475
You know, it would take a whole
team of Asgardians to create such a thing.
129
00:07:59,558 --> 00:08:02,725
You must be a genius.
You are a genius, aren't you?
130
00:08:02,808 --> 00:08:05,392
Well, I don't know
about genius, but...
131
00:08:05,475 --> 00:08:06,975
And your eyes...
132
00:08:07,058 --> 00:08:10,433
Do all geniuses have such deep, dark eyes?
133
00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:13,725
It's like watching the birth of two stars
on the edge of the galaxy.
134
00:08:13,808 --> 00:08:15,600
Oh.
135
00:08:17,308 --> 00:08:20,142
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-price nachos?
136
00:08:20,225 --> 00:08:23,142
Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.
137
00:08:23,225 --> 00:08:24,905
Let's just see where this evolves.
138
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,808
Huh?
139
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:38,975
Release the foam.
140
00:08:42,642 --> 00:08:44,350
Blow on these.
141
00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:45,933
Momma needs a brand-new eye.
142
00:08:54,308 --> 00:08:57,100
Volstagg has crashed!
143
00:08:57,183 --> 00:08:59,267
I now pronounce you Darcy and the Duck.
144
00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:00,392
Uh-huh.
145
00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:24,642
Ah.
146
00:09:25,642 --> 00:09:27,183
Ah, phone.
147
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:39,267
Ah, phone... Phone! Oh, shut up!
148
00:09:42,183 --> 00:09:43,517
Dr. Jane Foster?
149
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,850
Coming. I'm coming.
150
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,725
Dr. Jane Foster!
151
00:09:47,808 --> 00:09:49,475
Hold on.
152
00:09:49,558 --> 00:09:51,933
Dr. Jane Foster,
this is S.H.I.E.L.D.
153
00:09:55,017 --> 00:09:56,392
If you do not answer, we will...
154
00:09:56,475 --> 00:09:57,892
Yes?
155
00:09:57,975 --> 00:09:58,975
We have her, ma'am.
156
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:01,308
Maria Hill,
Acting Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
157
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,767
- You need to come with us.
- Uh...
158
00:10:04,058 --> 00:10:07,142
Can this wait until after breakfast?
'Cause...
159
00:10:07,225 --> 00:10:11,392
You were the first to warn us
about this extraterrestrial threat.
160
00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:14,725
Now I hope you will be the key
to eliminating it.
161
00:10:14,808 --> 00:10:17,808
"Threat"? Would you call him
a threat, really?
162
00:10:17,892 --> 00:10:21,808
Do you wanna know why I am
the Acting Director, Dr. Foster?
163
00:10:21,892 --> 00:10:23,142
Nope.
164
00:10:23,225 --> 00:10:27,850
Hey, Spicoli. This might be your party,
but this isn't your planet.
165
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:29,683
Before someone gets hurt, I need...
166
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:30,767
Ball cannons!
167
00:10:34,475 --> 00:10:35,517
Oh!
168
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,517
- Is he okay?
- He's still unconscious.
169
00:10:39,183 --> 00:10:40,308
We getting food?
170
00:10:40,392 --> 00:10:41,933
Do you have company, Dr. Foster?
171
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,558
Uh... A friend.
172
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:46,308
Guys, guys, look.
There's a cute little rabbit in the sink.
173
00:10:46,392 --> 00:10:49,183
Oh, look at this little rabbit.
It's gorgeous.
174
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:52,100
He's... a zoologist. I'll call you, okay?
175
00:10:55,058 --> 00:10:56,475
I told you everything.
176
00:10:56,558 --> 00:10:58,683
I followed the anomaly's origin to Vegas.
177
00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:00,183
And then what did you do?
178
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:03,475
Um... Uh...
179
00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:05,933
Director, the party atmosphere
seems to be spreading.
180
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,100
Canada, Mongolia,
even Pennsylvania Dutch country.
181
00:11:10,183 --> 00:11:13,267
Led by the main instigator,
Thor of Asgard,
182
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:14,850
who's now taken to the skies.
183
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:17,225
What? He left?
184
00:11:17,308 --> 00:11:20,183
Did he... Did he even leave a note at...
185
00:11:20,933 --> 00:11:24,142
I mean, did...
Did he say where he was going?
186
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,725
- Smooth.
- Thanks.
187
00:11:25,808 --> 00:11:27,350
- Sarcasm.
- Paris.
188
00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:31,350
One of his compatriots was,
and I quote, "jonesing for crêpes."
189
00:11:31,433 --> 00:11:32,433
Ma'am...
190
00:11:33,892 --> 00:11:35,475
the last resort has arrived.
191
00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:38,600
Whoa, whoa.
"Last resort" sounds very final.
192
00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:41,475
This is Earth's first encounter
with alien life.
193
00:11:41,558 --> 00:11:44,433
How we respond today will set the tone
for diplomatic relations
194
00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:46,433
between our worlds for generations.
195
00:11:46,517 --> 00:11:50,767
"Diplomatic relations"?
Is that what the kids are calling it?
196
00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:51,975
You're wrong, Doctor.
197
00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:54,808
This isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.'s
first alien rodeo.
198
00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:59,475
A beeper? My dad has one!
He's a podiatrist.
199
00:11:59,558 --> 00:12:01,850
Wait, are you guys calling a podiatrist?
200
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,725
It's done.
201
00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:10,308
Is it happening? Did it happen?
What'd I miss?
202
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,892
All right, here we go. Nestle on in.
203
00:12:12,975 --> 00:12:15,808
- Everyone say "waffles." I love that word.
- Cheese.
204
00:12:15,892 --> 00:12:17,975
Waffles with maple syrup
and whipped cream on top.
205
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,118
- Thor!
- Thor!
206
00:12:19,142 --> 00:12:20,517
He came! He's here!
207
00:12:21,017 --> 00:12:25,267
Oi! Where's that son of a witch,
Thor Odinson?
208
00:12:26,308 --> 00:12:28,225
What did you say?
209
00:12:28,308 --> 00:12:33,183
Fandral, tell me, is that butt-ugly
Popsicle stick talking to me?
210
00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:44,600
- Bring it on in.
- I can't believe you came!
211
00:12:44,683 --> 00:12:46,767
Loki, you are the absolute best!
212
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,909
You're my brother
from another mother, man. I mean that.
213
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,725
- I mean it.
- Brothers forever.
214
00:12:50,808 --> 00:12:52,642
Brothers forever!
215
00:12:52,725 --> 00:12:54,017
Forever!
216
00:12:55,392 --> 00:12:57,725
Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?
217
00:12:57,808 --> 00:12:59,728
No, I didn't boom.
Did you boom? You always boom.
218
00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:02,142
I never boom. I only boom in private.
219
00:13:02,225 --> 00:13:05,642
Oh, oh, oh. Loki, look,
it's a shooting star. Make a wish, quick!
220
00:13:05,725 --> 00:13:08,392
Yes, yes, a shooting star.
Yes, okay. I wish... I wish...
221
00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:12,517
I wish, I wish, I wish... I wish...
222
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,933
- Uh... I've got it!
- What is it? Tell me.
223
00:13:17,017 --> 00:13:19,725
I couldn't possibly tell you.
It'll ruin the magic.
224
00:13:19,808 --> 00:13:20,808
Oh.
225
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,142
Hey, Whitesnake. We need to chat.
226
00:13:32,225 --> 00:13:37,725
The name is Thor, with a "T"
and an "R" and an "O" and a "H."
227
00:13:37,808 --> 00:13:38,933
But not in that order.
228
00:13:39,017 --> 00:13:41,683
- Quite some party you're throwing.
- Isn't it the best?
229
00:13:41,767 --> 00:13:44,142
I mean, I'd hoped the Ice Bros would show,
230
00:13:44,225 --> 00:13:46,183
but Loki himself? Prince Loki?
231
00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:48,517
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
232
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,517
Listen, bud, clean up this mess
and leave this planet.
233
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,267
What? No, I like it here.
Everyone likes me.
234
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:56,600
We're having a great time...
till you showed up.
235
00:13:56,683 --> 00:13:58,433
Party's over, pal.
236
00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:03,350
Mmm. Yeah, maybe here's a thought.
Uh, how about you just buzz off?
237
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:08,850
Oh!
238
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:16,433
I wasn't asking, hotshot.
239
00:14:18,017 --> 00:14:21,725
You know, there's a Midgardian word
for women like you.
240
00:14:23,475 --> 00:14:24,767
Party pooper.
241
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,475
There. I said it.
242
00:14:27,558 --> 00:14:30,058
Okay, this one's for Fury.
243
00:14:34,517 --> 00:14:35,767
Now, for the rest of you...
244
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,933
Have at you!
245
00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:48,225
Smooth move, bro. You just...
246
00:14:48,308 --> 00:14:49,933
Hammerang. Get it?
247
00:14:50,017 --> 00:14:52,308
Look, pal, I'm gonna count to three
248
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,142
and you're gonna put the hammer down.
249
00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:58,225
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
250
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,517
Hey, what did I tell you? Knock it off.
251
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:25,850
Whoa.
252
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:29,017
Hey, quit it. These are...
253
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,975
I don't know what these are. No one does.
But... No! I said no! Stop.
254
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:36,225
Oh, but I just have to do a little boop.
255
00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:48,808
Oh, no, your weird rocks
have all fallen over.
256
00:15:48,892 --> 00:15:50,308
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
257
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,308
Ow!
258
00:16:05,683 --> 00:16:06,683
Party foul.
259
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,600
Be right with you. Just one second.
260
00:16:13,225 --> 00:16:16,392
Ah, there it is. Whoo! Let's do this.
261
00:16:55,808 --> 00:16:57,933
You know, I'm starting to...
262
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,058
Ow! Not the hair!
263
00:17:08,808 --> 00:17:10,558
Have at you!
264
00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:46,475
You know what you need?
265
00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:48,975
A stiff drink and two weeks in Hawaii?
266
00:17:49,058 --> 00:17:50,267
A time-out.
267
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:53,558
My mother punished me with time-outs
all the time, but I never learned a thing.
268
00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:57,850
But maybe they'll work on you
because you're a party pooper.
269
00:17:57,933 --> 00:18:00,392
Hey, look, everyone! A party pooper.
270
00:18:00,475 --> 00:18:03,475
Pooper! Pooper! Pooper!
271
00:18:08,392 --> 00:18:10,225
Fury said you were the best.
272
00:18:10,308 --> 00:18:13,475
That your punch was equal
to ten nuclear bombs.
273
00:18:13,558 --> 00:18:15,808
That your cat could devour whole armies.
274
00:18:15,892 --> 00:18:17,933
You've got a cat? What's its name?
275
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,058
Goose.
276
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:21,183
Oh, Top Gun! You're Maverick!
277
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,600
Is your ego writing checks
that your skills can't cash?
278
00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:24,767
- No.
- Yes.
279
00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:27,850
- Who are you?
- Darcy. Big fan.
280
00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:30,558
By the way, totally thought
you were gonna be a dude captain.
281
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:32,558
But look at you, all not.
282
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:35,850
If I exert my full powers,
I blow a crater in this planet.
283
00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:39,142
Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak
won't be worth the fatalities.
284
00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:41,017
Ooh. What about South Dakota?
285
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,725
Or North Dakota?
286
00:18:42,808 --> 00:18:45,517
Uh... I need to get this.
287
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,600
So, uh, do you need an intern?
Cat wrangler?
288
00:18:48,683 --> 00:18:50,850
Darcy, right now,
you're running at an eight,
289
00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:52,767
and I need you to take it down to a four.
290
00:18:52,850 --> 00:18:54,225
Okay?
291
00:18:54,308 --> 00:18:55,475
- Hello?
- Jane!
292
00:18:55,558 --> 00:18:57,392
- Hey!
- When can I see you again?
293
00:18:57,475 --> 00:19:00,517
You're the nicest, prettiest
Midgardian woman I've ever met.
294
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,392
How many Earth women have you met?
295
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,392
Uh, two. But the other one
hit me with a bridge
296
00:19:04,475 --> 00:19:06,100
and, well, that hurt more than my face.
297
00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:10,600
Thor, be honest with me.
298
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:14,392
At your last party on Alpha Star,
did you really destroy that planet?
299
00:19:14,475 --> 00:19:17,433
No, no, it was more of a meteor anyway,
not a planet.
300
00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:20,392
And it was burning apart,
so we just kinda helped it along and...
301
00:19:20,475 --> 00:19:21,600
So no one got hurt?
302
00:19:21,683 --> 00:19:23,034
- Of course not.
- Dr. Foster?
303
00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:25,308
Even the baby goat, Gary, got home safely.
304
00:19:25,392 --> 00:19:26,808
- Eventually.
- Dr. Foster.
305
00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:28,850
Uh, I gotta go. Love you. Oh.
306
00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:30,558
I mean, bye.
307
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:33,267
What were we talking about?
308
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:35,142
Look, all I'm saying is,
309
00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:37,808
no one would notice
if you blew up a Dakota.
310
00:19:37,892 --> 00:19:39,308
Honestly, I can't tell them apart.
311
00:19:39,392 --> 00:19:40,933
South Dakota is on the bottom.
312
00:19:41,017 --> 00:19:42,225
It's not a bad idea.
313
00:19:42,308 --> 00:19:44,100
The Mojave Desert could withstand the hit.
314
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,808
Lure him to Siberia
and then go kaboom on his ass.
315
00:19:48,225 --> 00:19:51,058
You're not serious.
We're not gonna kaboom him.
316
00:19:51,142 --> 00:19:52,784
We're talking about the fate
of the planet.
317
00:19:52,808 --> 00:19:56,017
He's a lughead, sure, and far from
the brightest crayon in the box.
318
00:19:56,100 --> 00:20:00,350
But this plan is way over the top,
and I refuse to let it happen.
319
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,558
Thank you for your expertise, Dr. Foster,
320
00:20:03,642 --> 00:20:06,433
but your assistance is no longer required.
321
00:20:09,558 --> 00:20:12,642
Damn! There goes my internship
with the Galactic Queen Bee.
322
00:20:12,725 --> 00:20:17,683
Well, look who came waddling back.
Mrs. the Duck.
323
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,142
- Not now, Howard!
- Hello, Thor?
324
00:20:20,225 --> 00:20:22,034
- Who's this?
- It's Jane. Can you hear me?
325
00:20:22,058 --> 00:20:25,350
Wait. Is this the girl?
Thor's new sweet lady? Hello.
326
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,475
Is Thor there?
327
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:30,350
Late-night Chinese is the best.
Oh, I love food.
328
00:20:30,433 --> 00:20:33,308
Loki, get your blue butt over here.
You have to try these dumplings.
329
00:20:33,392 --> 00:20:36,558
Hey, Earth girl.
You haven't got a friend, have you?
330
00:20:36,642 --> 00:20:38,433
You know, we could double date.
331
00:20:38,517 --> 00:20:41,183
Ugh! Will you just put him on the phone?
332
00:20:41,267 --> 00:20:43,707
Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist.
He's right here... Oh!
333
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:49,267
Oh. Right.
334
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:50,517
Hello? Loki?
335
00:20:51,142 --> 00:20:54,225
Hey, hey. Watch the feathers.
336
00:20:54,308 --> 00:20:56,767
- Too bad we can't call his mom.
- What?
337
00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:57,975
That's what always happens.
338
00:20:58,058 --> 00:21:00,267
Teenagers throw a party,
it gets out of control...
339
00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:02,267
- Oh, you really are a genius.
- Whoa.
340
00:21:02,350 --> 00:21:05,600
It's really starting to look that way,
isn't it? What'd I say?
341
00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:08,142
If there's a Thor and a Loki,
342
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:12,642
then there must be an Odin
and a Frigga and a Heimdall!
343
00:21:12,725 --> 00:21:13,892
Uh, he-man-who-now?
344
00:21:18,808 --> 00:21:23,392
You know, I've got a crown too,
and we both like fire, right?
345
00:21:23,475 --> 00:21:25,683
Come on. Let's see you turn up
the heat on this thing.
346
00:21:25,767 --> 00:21:28,808
Uh... Ooh, look at the time.
347
00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:36,517
How low can I go?
348
00:21:43,183 --> 00:21:46,058
Everyone! Watch me slide down
that pointy thing.
349
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,225
And away!
350
00:21:52,517 --> 00:21:54,350
Whoo!
351
00:22:05,642 --> 00:22:10,058
This one goes here. Green in the thing.
Okay, sweet. Good to go.
352
00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:11,225
Selvig, thank you.
353
00:22:11,308 --> 00:22:14,433
Re-aligning the satellites,
magnifying the signal.
354
00:22:16,558 --> 00:22:18,392
Heimdall!
355
00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:23,350
- It's not working.
- Okay, okay. My turn. I got this.
356
00:22:23,433 --> 00:22:26,767
Would the owner of the navy blue Prius...
357
00:22:41,308 --> 00:22:44,808
Hi. So, uh, about Thor...
358
00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:54,142
Not cool. I actually felt that one.
359
00:22:59,933 --> 00:23:01,975
- We're in position.
- Arm the nukes.
360
00:23:02,058 --> 00:23:04,100
What? But I thought she was the nuke.
361
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:06,225
Just in case she gets distracted by a cat.
362
00:23:08,267 --> 00:23:13,058
Uh... Hello, Mrs. Odinwife?
363
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,517
Uh, is that Chardonnay?
364
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,392
A varietal, yes. Can I help you?
365
00:23:18,475 --> 00:23:21,142
Why do you insist on crushing my mellow?
366
00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:23,642
Huh? Loosen up. Have fun. Smile a little.
367
00:23:24,892 --> 00:23:26,308
Ready to fire on your command.
368
00:23:26,392 --> 00:23:28,267
Fire in five...
369
00:23:28,350 --> 00:23:31,683
I gave you a warning.
Hell, I gave you a warning punch.
370
00:23:31,767 --> 00:23:34,433
- Four.
- It's Thor. He's in trouble.
371
00:23:36,433 --> 00:23:38,183
- Three.
- He's on Earth.
372
00:23:39,183 --> 00:23:40,725
Two.
373
00:23:42,058 --> 00:23:43,975
- What about Captain Marvel?
- She'll be fine.
374
00:23:44,058 --> 00:23:45,558
One.
375
00:23:48,725 --> 00:23:53,767
Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard,
only son of Odin, what are you doing?
376
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,183
- Mother!
- Mother?
377
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,308
Mother?
378
00:23:56,392 --> 00:23:57,725
What are you doing here?
379
00:23:57,808 --> 00:24:00,725
You must be using a lot of dark magic
just to check in on me.
380
00:24:00,808 --> 00:24:04,267
Ugh, I had a visitor.
She's worried about you.
381
00:24:04,350 --> 00:24:06,725
Wha... Jane sold me out?
382
00:24:06,808 --> 00:24:08,642
She said you were on Midgard.
383
00:24:08,725 --> 00:24:10,433
Well, she is mistaken.
384
00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:13,350
I'm obviously in my room, studying.
385
00:24:16,892 --> 00:24:20,475
Do not tell falsehoods to your mother.
386
00:24:20,558 --> 00:24:24,683
Oh, you mean Earth.
Sorry, I misunderstood.
387
00:24:24,767 --> 00:24:27,892
The locals call it that.
Yes, right. Sorry.
388
00:24:27,975 --> 00:24:29,517
Confused there for a moment.
389
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:34,017
Me and my study group came down here
for a cultural exchange.
390
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:36,475
"Cultural exchange."
391
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,808
You know us. We're warriors for knowledge.
392
00:24:38,892 --> 00:24:42,517
Hmm. Really?
Then this I have to see for myself.
393
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,475
I'm cutting my trip short.
394
00:24:44,558 --> 00:24:45,850
You're coming here?
395
00:24:45,933 --> 00:24:51,558
And, my sweet son, I expect to see
your full syllabus when I arrive.
396
00:24:52,933 --> 00:24:54,308
Now or never, Hill.
397
00:24:54,933 --> 00:24:56,558
Stand down. We're done here.
398
00:24:56,642 --> 00:24:59,267
We never get to fire the nukes.
399
00:24:59,350 --> 00:25:01,058
I almost feel bad for you, Blondie.
400
00:25:01,142 --> 00:25:04,058
Please, you must help me.
My mother is coming.
401
00:25:04,142 --> 00:25:07,808
My suggestion? Start in the corners,
clean your way outward.
402
00:25:10,183 --> 00:25:11,267
Corners, corners...
403
00:25:11,350 --> 00:25:13,392
But it's a sphere.
404
00:25:14,350 --> 00:25:18,975
Ugh. Excuse me, ladies. I'm sorry,
but I must leave early. Again.
405
00:25:20,683 --> 00:25:23,058
Loki, my brother.
I require your assistance.
406
00:25:23,142 --> 00:25:25,392
Ah, one step ahead of you, Tiny Thunder.
407
00:25:25,475 --> 00:25:28,808
My bro's trying this thing in St. Louis.
Saint... Is it "Louie"?
408
00:25:28,892 --> 00:25:30,475
Anyway, we're about to make
409
00:25:30,558 --> 00:25:33,017
this universe's greatest slingshot.
410
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,142
Try to enjoy
the rest of your time here.
411
00:25:35,225 --> 00:25:37,808
See you in another thousand years.
Heimdall.
412
00:25:39,350 --> 00:25:43,308
No more slingshots. No more destruction.
We need to clean this mess up and go home.
413
00:25:45,267 --> 00:25:46,767
Ugh! Now!
414
00:25:47,933 --> 00:25:51,058
Ha!
Nice one. Almost fell for it.
415
00:25:51,142 --> 00:25:53,975
I'm not joking. My mother is coming.
416
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:01,225
Hmm.
417
00:26:01,308 --> 00:26:02,808
But she's not my mother.
418
00:26:02,892 --> 00:26:05,392
You know, I'm your brother
from another mother, remember?
419
00:26:05,475 --> 00:26:07,933
Come on, Ice Bros, let's go.
420
00:26:08,017 --> 00:26:09,850
Wait. You can't leave. Look at this place.
421
00:26:09,933 --> 00:26:12,433
We have a duty to this planet.
You need to clean it up.
422
00:26:12,517 --> 00:26:15,225
"Duty, clean"? Ugh, you sound like Odin.
423
00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:16,392
What?
424
00:26:16,475 --> 00:26:17,808
Ice Men, let's bounce.
425
00:26:21,475 --> 00:26:23,225
All right, listen, party's over.
426
00:26:23,308 --> 00:26:26,308
You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay.
427
00:26:26,392 --> 00:26:28,267
Wait, where you going? Come back.
428
00:26:28,350 --> 00:26:29,475
No, no, no, no, no.
429
00:26:29,558 --> 00:26:32,558
You do have to stay here,
and we need to clean up.
430
00:26:32,642 --> 00:26:34,850
Look who's pooping the party now.
431
00:26:34,933 --> 00:26:37,475
It is you! You are pooping the party.
432
00:26:37,558 --> 00:26:38,993
Where you going? Come back!
433
00:26:39,017 --> 00:26:41,308
Let's go, Topaz.
We shall ride like the wind.
434
00:26:41,392 --> 00:26:42,683
- Please! Wait.
- Loser.
435
00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:44,392
And we're keeping the scoot-scoots.
436
00:26:44,475 --> 00:26:47,725
Guys, please. Help, I...
You. How about you?
437
00:26:47,808 --> 00:26:51,058
Uh... I think I hear my dad calling.
Good luck.
438
00:26:56,392 --> 00:27:00,642
People. Beings.
Please, everyone, you must stay and help.
439
00:27:03,517 --> 00:27:06,058
Allfather, give me strength.
440
00:27:11,475 --> 00:27:13,433
You will listen to me.
441
00:27:15,392 --> 00:27:17,225
My mother is coming.
442
00:27:17,308 --> 00:27:21,100
- Frigga?
- And she is not happy.
443
00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:23,308
Like, at all.
444
00:27:23,392 --> 00:27:24,683
She's really mad.
445
00:27:41,225 --> 00:27:42,308
Yeah, baby.
446
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:06,267
Thor.
447
00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:12,183
Oh, hello, Mother. Good to see you.
Welcome to our study group.
448
00:28:12,267 --> 00:28:14,100
Uh...
449
00:28:14,183 --> 00:28:16,100
Everyone say hello to Mother.
450
00:28:16,183 --> 00:28:17,808
Hello, Mother Frigga.
451
00:28:17,892 --> 00:28:20,600
And to end our studies,
what do we always say, class?
452
00:28:20,683 --> 00:28:22,600
Learning is magic.
453
00:28:23,892 --> 00:28:27,475
See? I told you I was on an educational
and cultural exchange.
454
00:28:27,558 --> 00:28:30,642
Did you know that Midgard
is the birthplace of the Snuggie?
455
00:28:32,975 --> 00:28:35,183
Mother, you doubt?
456
00:28:37,225 --> 00:28:39,475
But look at all this learning, huh?
457
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,975
Thor, here's the information
you requested on human civilizations.
458
00:28:50,058 --> 00:28:53,975
And I loaded a few documentaries,
PBS specials, NPR podcasts.
459
00:28:54,058 --> 00:28:55,725
I'll call you next week to discuss it.
460
00:28:55,808 --> 00:29:01,392
So tiny yet contains so, so much.
Thank you.
461
00:29:01,475 --> 00:29:03,600
You must be Frigga. I'm Captain Marvel.
462
00:29:03,683 --> 00:29:08,392
I know who you are.
Thank you for helping educate my son.
463
00:29:08,475 --> 00:29:10,100
- Let's go, darling.
- Wait.
464
00:29:10,183 --> 00:29:12,267
Almost forgot.
465
00:29:15,392 --> 00:29:17,142
Uh...
466
00:29:17,225 --> 00:29:18,558
Mother, I can explain.
467
00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:29,892
- Hi.
- Thanks.
468
00:29:29,975 --> 00:29:31,600
You called my mother on me.
469
00:29:31,683 --> 00:29:33,267
That wasn't a cool thing to do,
470
00:29:33,350 --> 00:29:36,183
but it was the right thing. So, thank you.
471
00:29:37,767 --> 00:29:39,017
You're welcome.
472
00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:41,517
I'll call you? Cools?
473
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,558
No, it is not "cools."
474
00:29:43,642 --> 00:29:44,850
No?
475
00:29:44,933 --> 00:29:47,892
But I thought we had something.
I really like you, Jane.
476
00:29:47,975 --> 00:29:51,058
And not just because you're a genius.
You're also very attractive and...
477
00:29:51,642 --> 00:29:53,308
Well, then, ask me out on a date.
478
00:29:53,392 --> 00:29:54,808
Oh.
479
00:29:54,892 --> 00:29:58,725
Jane Foster, it would be my honor
to take you on a date.
480
00:29:58,808 --> 00:30:03,892
Before you answer, let me say that
I know a whole planet full of unicorns.
481
00:30:03,975 --> 00:30:05,642
Even the waiters are unicorns...
482
00:30:05,725 --> 00:30:08,517
- It's wonderful.
- Sounds delightful. Pick me up at 8:00?
483
00:30:19,433 --> 00:30:22,850
A world restored,
love blossoming.
484
00:30:22,933 --> 00:30:27,100
As children,
both human and Asgardian, say,
485
00:30:27,183 --> 00:30:31,017
together, they lived happily ever after.
486
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:33,100
Wait, what?
487
00:30:33,183 --> 00:30:34,183
Huh?
488
00:30:38,475 --> 00:30:42,808
Oh, dear.
Perhaps I spoke too soon.
34753
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