All language subtitles for Scare.Tactics.2024.S01E07.Selling.Sasquatch.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Kitsune_track3_[eng]

Hell no.

Hello, humans.

It's Flip,
the Dark Prince of Pranking.

And I've been summoned here

from your collective
nightmares--

To take ordinary people,

people who have it coming
to them,

and drop them into frightening
scenarios of my own creation.

This time, let's see if
we can convince one human

that they have superpowers.

Holy--
Whoa!

I was not ready for that.

And another that Bigfoot is
literally trying to eat them.

OMG!

All right, y'all, let's do
better by being badder.

This is "Scare Tactics."

Jack!

Jack?

Jack.

I brought lunch, your favorite.

Jack?

Hey, sweetie.

Please.

You know you get hangry
when you don't eat.

Today is a very important day.

Now, you promise me, don't
do what you did last time.

OK, I think I saw a spider.

I got to go.

Joy here is fascinated
with mythical things

like unicorns, monsters,
and the ever elusive

affordable two-bedroom.

Her true passion
is real estate,

so her cousin Joe brought
her along to look at a cabin

in the woods.

But the previous tenant
might not be ready to leave.

Hi, welcome.

Would you mind having a seat
and we'll just get started?

Hi.
- Can I just leave

my stuff here?
- I'm Michelle.

Yeah, you can just
put your bags down.

- I'm Joe.
- No big deal.

Nice to meet you.
- I'll be the person buying.

This is my cousin Joy.
- Hi, Joy.

Nice to meet you.

Before we get started, would
you mind putting on the vest?

If we're gonna be out in
this sort of hunting area,

we have to wear
brightly colored things.

They're not hunting
right now.

It's just for insurance.

So my buddy is, like,
in real estate.

He said you would be able
to help find a place.

- Yeah, no.
- Because we wanted to be--

I'm excited
to show it to you.

Okay,
we wanted to be in Atlanta,

but like not in Atlanta,
like outside.

Have you looked at
any other properties yet?

- No.
- We have not looked

at any other properties.

Well, I'm excited for you
to come see this one today.

We'll do a tour
of the property.

But I would love to just talk
to you, get some questions,

see what you're looking for.

I don't know if this is
exactly what we had in mind.

Well, this is a place
that's about vision.

- OK.
- It's really a potential

investment property.

And then, Joy,
you're tagging along.

Is this a place you're
gonna come visit a lot?

Are you guys close?

I ain't coming to visit this.

- What?
- We're close.

She would come visit.

I live by the river,
and there's animals,

and I don't do animals.

Did something happen to you?

- Girl, snakes.
- OK.

Girl,
I had a snake on my car,

I had a snake on my trampoline,

I had a snake on my
air conditioning unit,

and I had a snake
travel right in front

of me on my sidewalk.

Yes, ma'am.

Have you looked up
a snake spirit animal?

- Ooh.
- Huh?

She's not big on snakes, but
I'm fine with, like, outdoors.

I grew up kinda
in the country more.

No trees.

I'm not a fan of trees.
- Not a fan of trees?

I told you.
Snake came out the tree.

OK, so you have
some tree trauma.

Yeah.

So I'd love to tell you
a little bit about

the property
before we get started.

It was in one family
since 1832.

- Did you say 1832?
- Yes.

- In Georgia?
- Thank you.

I'm glad you went there
'cause I was gonna

ask it before it ended.

Yeah, some of these cabins,

if they had slaves
in this cabin,

maybe they don't want nothing
to do with that.

But I'm gonna preserve it
and give tours and stuff.

That's a whole business.

Let me get back to this.

What is their reason
for wanting to get rid of it

and get far away from it?

That stands out to me.

If they're trying to do that,
there's something.

Uh, so it's a family thing.
Uh...

I didn't really want to get
into it 'cause it's personal,

but a couple of years ago,
all of the family members

gathered here

and they were meeting

to discuss selling it.

They never returned
from that meeting.

OK.

All of their cars
were found here.

And the kids think
something terrible happened.

So I think
they're just like,

let's be done,
let's get rid of this,

let's get rid
of the bad memories.

OK.

Um, do you know why there's
caution tape over there?

Let's talk about the price.

OK.

I want to tell you--

You can't jump there.

I think that--yeah,

there are things that
you're seeing that are maybe

like not the best, but
they're trying to sell this,

all 14 acres, for $300,000.

You could probably buy it today
and resell it for $500,000.

- For half a million, yeah.
- It's just doing it.

You saw the houses down there
were starting at four.

I seen that.

This is 14 acres.

I feel like you need to do
your investigation first.

- OK, that's true.
- I think--

Yeah, do you want to see
the property?

Let's check it out.
- Yeah, we got a little bit

of time.
- Let's start.

OK.

- Coming back this way?
- Yeah, yeah.

OK.

Can you fight?

Fight?

Can you fight?

I'm--I'm being legit.

Can you fight?

- Can you fight?
- Fight?

I'm--I'm being legit.

Can you fight?

Because the area that we're in

and the people
who we met here--

I'm paranoid.

Making sure that you--
- Oh.

Between the two of us,
we got it.

- I think we're--
- Yeah, we got you.

We're gonna be all right.
All right, watch your head.

Watch your step.

This is the closest
first building,

also been here since 1832.

Yeah, see? They got stores.
This is Christmas.

And everything comes with it.

They're selling it as-is.

So anything you want,
you can resell.

Very exciting.

I saw this and, you know,
I'm like,

your country...

living vibe, like waking up.

I would make this
a chicken coop.

Everything comes with it?

Everything comes with it.

I'm gonna assume that's paint

on those pants.

I love the idea of having,
you know, fresh eggs.

You know what my problem is?

Damn movie we just seen today.

What did you watch?

Oh, yeah, that probably
was a bad idea.

We went and saw this movie
where they were, like,

at a cabin in the woods and--

I'm gonna walk around the
other side, if you don't mind.

We have a ton of buildings,
picnic tables here.

All that stays,
picnic tables, everything?

Everything.
It comes as-is.

You could rent this out
for weddings,

use it as an event space.

Obviously, if you want to do
the soccer stuff.

Yeah.

You wouldn't.

Is that a moth?

Man, I don't care what it is.

So this has been used
as a summer camp.

There's so many trees.

That's where all
the snakes are.

More cabins up here.

We don't go in that cabin.

I don't want to talk about it.

You don't talk about it.

There's a lot of things
we ain't talking about.

I'm really excited
about this.

Like, there's so many options.

There's a ton of bedrooms.

Again,
everything comes with it.

So there's built-ins.

Um, you know,

you have all of this
old lumber.

I'm walking around
and I'm like,

they don't make stuff
like this anymore.

The pavilions,
the picnic tables,

everything is still
really sturdy.

- Yeah.
- So...

I mean, obviously,
we have to get some

of these stains out of here.

Oh, I know.

I think that's one of
the things about this.

It's been used by kids.

Yeah.

So there is a lot of work
to be done.

Next cabin, watch your head.

Um, so this is,
you know, stables.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I had a groundskeeper...
- Oh, my God.

And he was keeping his dog.

So sorry about that.

We can go right this way.

I think animals,
there's a lot of opportunities.

And we can just
come out the back

and we'll go see
the rest of the camp.

What the [bleep]?

Don't! Back up.

Just no! just no!

I'll kick your ass, man.

You're on "Scare Tactics."

Oh, what the [bleep]?

Shit ain't funny, man.

I'm gonna beat your ass, man.

Dude, I'm sitting looking at
the rake to hit his ass with.

Now, you know you bring me
nothing but joy.

I love you
to the bottom of my heart.

You my ride or die,

you have been since day one,

but I had to get you.

We had to make some memories
for your 40th,

and we made them.

I didn't know if you
were gonna make it to 41

at one point with your
heart racing, but we made it.

No, cause I was
like, [bleep] this.

We about to fight.

You gonna fight Bigfoot?

I was gonna
get his big ass.

We was gonna
go down together.

I didn't know you were
gonna fight Sasquatch.

I didn't know, all right?

But I was excited.

I live in the hood.

I know you live
in the hood,

but we don't be having
Sasquatches

just walk through the West End.

That's not a thing.
That's not really a thing.

And to be honest, a lot of
your exes are big and hairy,

so I thought maybe--
- I gotta fight.

Worst case scenario,
you might date Sasquatch.

Anyway, it's gonna be
an everlasting memory.

We're going to have it
for the rest of our lives.

When I'm 80 and on my deathbed,
she's gonna come in

and she's gonna pull the plug
and be like,

remember "Scare Tactics"?

And then walk out.
So we--

Pull your bedpan.

She gonna pull my bedpan
on me

'cause she gonna be the nurse.
See, look.

- Jesus.
- Whoo.

Oh, this ain't funny, y'all.

It was very good.

You did such a good job.

Dr. Daniels.

Tick tock.

It's the 31st.

We just need a few more days.

We are so close
to a breakthrough--

You've found us three
mutants in two years,

and you promised us an army.

Our patience has run out,
as has your time.

Are you ready to present your
findings to the board or not?

We're not ready.

We just need a few more days.

You have 24 hours
or you're done.

What'd he say?

We have until tomorrow.

Didn't say goodbye, either.

Manners.

CJ says his best buddy,
Ronald,

isn't scared of technology,

so he didn't think twice

about going to a government
lab to test out new tech.

But what he doesn't know
is this is a secret agency

looking for people
with superpowers--

To exploit.

Wonder how this will go?

Oh, hello there.

How are you?
I'm Dr. Stevenson.

How you doing?
- CJ.

- CJ, pleasure.
- I'm Ron.

Ron.

Gentlemen, can you come
over here real quick?

Just need you folks
to put these on.

- OK.
- Go ahead and slide that in.

Awesome.
All set.

Go ahead and take a seat
right over there.

Remember this?

- Yeah.
- Hello. How you doing?

- Gabriella.
- I'm Ron.

Nice to meet you all.
- Nice to meet you.

- Adriana.
- Nice to meet you.

Great, well, thank you
all for joining us today.

Thank you for having us.

Yeah, so how much do you know
about electromagnetism?

Anybody?

- A good amount.
- Not a lot.

It's all around us, right?

But we're all made of
subatomic particles.

Some of them have
negative charge,

some of them have
positive charge

and they even
each other out, right?

But you know how sometimes
you'll like rub your feet

on a rug or something like that

and then you'll shock somebody?
- Mm-hmm.

And these energies exist
in all of us at all times.

And what we're trying to do
is harness that energy.

Wow.

So we just want to get
a sense of like your experience

with what we would
classify as like--

- Magic. Paranormal.
- Paranormal energies.

It's science that's
been unexplained, right?

When I was younger,
my uncle had passed away

and I swore I saw him
walk in the room.

'Cause I moved into his room
after he had passed away.

I saw this figure just walk in
and look just like him

and then just walk out.

So I don't know
if somebody was joking

or playing
or what they were doing.

And you don't have
an explanation for it?

- No.
- OK.

So that brings us
to this machine over here.

What this is
is our electron collider.

Essentially,
it starts to separate

the positive and the negative
and makes them collide.

And so that creates
a sort of a focused energy

that I will demonstrate
for you right now.

Is that a blood
pressure machine?

They put that thing on your
finger for blood pressure.

A little like it.

So, like I said,
this focuses the energy.

For example, let me just--

- Oh, shit.
- Oh my gosh.

My gosh.

So, yes,
that's how that works.

And essentially it creates--
- I was not ready for that.

But yeah, so it creates,
you know,

kind of an electrical charge
that we can focus.

And our goal is to
make that energy transfer

instantaneous and intuitive.

Intuitive.

Meaning you wouldn't need
the finger things?

This isn't just a test
of, like, our technology.

This is also a test of you

and what your special abilities
may be.

Superpowers?

Well, we don't use
that kind of word,

but I guess you could say that.

Sure.

Oh.

So if you could step up here
for me.

Stand right here
in this hexagon

and we are going to put these
on your pointer fingers.

Those wires make me
a little nervous.

You're gonna concentrate
on that pen right there.

Think about moving it,
all right?

OK.

One, two, three.

Go.

- What the hell?
- All right.

Wow.

- Thank you very much.
- I'll take those off.

Also, you are next.

Pretty cool, right?

Oh, my gosh.

Push forward.

Wow.

I'll say that this
is the simplest one.

Just about everybody
passes this one.

Now, we're gonna do this

with something that's denser, right?

Yeah, pens for beginners,
this, next level.

I do.

One, two, three, go.

- Oh.
- Brilliant. You can relax.

I told you
he was Professor X.

I am?

One, two, three, go.

OK, totally,
totally all right.

Did I break them?

No, no, nothing's broken.

In fact, you are actually
all set for today.

- Oh.
- Guard will escort you out.

I don't get to watch?

Unfortunately,
not everyone survives

each stage of the process.

Unfortunately,
not everyone survives

each stage of the process.

Wow.

Next up.

Concentrate on moving that can.

One,

two,

three.

All right,
hey, you can relax.

Moved quite a bit.

It moved a little too fast
for me.

- Stay focused.
- Well done.

With a little more focus,

we'd be able to control
exactly where it goes.

Oh, OK.

This one's gonna be
a little harder.

You can step up.

Ready?

All right, take your time.

This one's a lot harder, OK?

OK.

One, two, three.

Great try.

Great try. No worries at all.

All right,
I can take those off.

Man, I really thought
I had it.

Thank you.
Liquid is very different.

Liquid is harder.

Nice. Thumbs together.

Clear your mind.

Think about pushing.

One, two,

go.

Oh. OK.

- The hell?
- Uh...

- OK.
- Yeah,

I've never seen that before.

No, me neither.

While we have
you in position,

let's try something
a little different.

Oh, my gosh.

What the hell is going on?

We have to put some
protective eyewear on for this.

- OK.
- Yeah, honestly,

I don't anything
is gonna happen with this one,

but you never know.

All right,
thumbs together for me.

Bring it on back.

Clear your mind.

Can I drop my arms
for a second?

Oh, it's OK.
It's OK.

What's going through your head?

That right there
happened out of nowhere.

I wasn't even looking
over there.

Clear your head.

Think about something pleasant.

On the count of three.
Ready?

One,

two...

Three.

OK. All right.

- All right, stop. Yeah.
- OK, OK, out. Out. Out.

- Stop.
- Stay right here.

Stay right here.
Stay right here.

You stay here, please.

Just--what were you thinking
of just then?

- I don't know.
- OK, oh, God. OK.

Um, just please wait
right there.

Thank you.
- Why do I gotta wait?

Oh, my God.

There's something very
important I have to tell you.

What?

You're on "Scare Tactics."

You know what?

I wanted to prank him
because he feels like

he can never be pranked.

That's why he says
nothing ever scares him.

- I'm nervous.
- Yeah.

I'm very nervous. Whew.

I really thought
it was real science

that we were moving some things
up in there.

OK, OK, y'all got me.

Nice work, gentlemen.

Unfortunately, your time
with us has come to an end.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

The technology worked.

Oh, we'll be using
the technology.

The government thanks you
for your service.